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delicrieux · 4 years

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☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

ultimate masterlist. ҉ myso masterlist ҉ previous. ҉ next.

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✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results).

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be.

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children.

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim.

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do.

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

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“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point!

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus.

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping.

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex.

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him.

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!�� James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red.

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!!

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling.

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!”

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out.

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. “Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you.

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage.

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her.

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement.

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.”

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse social media au #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fic #corpse husband social media au #social media au #myso #make you say oh #quackity #dream smp #corpse x y/n #imagine #imagines #reader #xreader

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cacoetheswriting · 4 years

Text

a saturday ritual

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Warnings: mild swearing, a single parent home, mentions of death (death of a parent & a significant other), mentions of alcohol consumption, and a lil pining, but mainly just FLUFF Word Count: 5.6k Request: anonymous: “I love your Spencer Reid fics! I was wondering if you could write something with Spencer and a single mom reader?? Thanks”

A/N: a very brief summary: spencer is infatuated by his new neighbour, a single mom to a five year old boy who likes to wreak havoc in their shared corridor. also, this one turned out to be a lot A LOT longer than i initially thought it would be but honestly i had so much fun writing this fic, it really could have gone on foreverrrrr ENJOY and as always let me know what you think !

For about a week after you moved into the apartment across from his, Spencer wondered what would be an acceptable excuse to go introduce himself.

Having been away on a case those first couple of days, he missed the initial opportunity. Later, his colleagues told him that was enough of a justification. Much later. Too late. Now the moment has passed, and he wondered whether pretending he needed salt or sugar was a good enough pretext. Lame.

He's caught glimpses of you out in the shared hall returning from the grocery store, or by the post box downstairs collecting your mail. Glimpses. Passing fleeting seconds. Never enough time to say hello, however enough to notice you were really beautiful.

Also enough to notice the little boy constantly tugging at your clothes. From what he could see, the resemblance was uncanny. The boy was your son no doubt. And given that Spencer hasn’t seen another adult around, he came to a conclusion you were a single mom.

It was now Saturday morning. Saturday. A day he usually spent grading papers and preparing class materials for the week ahead. And this weekend began no differently.

With a cup of coffee, he sat at his desk and began working away when an odd droning sound caught his attention. Buzzing. Yet it wasn’t mechanical, no. The peculiar hum echoing outside seemed more manmade. Childlike.

Yes, the brunette doctor deducted, the buzzing sounds he was currently hearing were most definitely airplane noises made by a kid.

At first, he decided to pay no attention to what was going on outside his door. He felt bad enough for not going to introduce himself, so he wasn't about to become the mean man from across the hall who gave out about playing children.

After taking a sip of his coffee, he proceeded to bury his head in the papers scattered across his desk. The sound wasn’t too loud meaning it wasn't a big distraction. He could continue to get his work done despite the clatter.

It was then he heard your voice for the first time. The melodic tone drew him in even more than the buzzing echo.

Dropping his pen, he instantly got to his feet and ambled towards the front door - now was his chance.

His hand hovered over the knob, but before he got a chance to do anything, he heard a slam. The noises stopped. Silence once again filled the hall outside.

The hazel-eyed doctor felt slightly foolish. He didn't really know what he wanted to accomplish by springing up so fast. Even if he managed to catch you, what was he going to say? I heard your voice, and wanted to see you. Stupid. You would think he's absolutely clinically insane. I heard you out here, and wanted to finally introduce myself. Better. Although still a little weird.

With a sigh, he sunk back in his seat and continued with his usual Saturday routine. Hoping he would get another chance.

Sunday he heard the buzzing again. Only this time he was walking up the stairs, returning from a late afternoon stroll.

Once he reached his floor he came face to face with the source of the airplane noises currently echoing throughout the building.

Spencer thought the young boy couldn't be more than five. He was wearing a jumper that was clearly too big on him. Probably one of yours, Spencer thought. Arms spread out by his side, the oversized garment covering his hands in full, the kid ran circles up and down the corridor. A wide grin on his face. The hoodie dragging on the floor collecting dustballs.

Mixed with the noises was the sound of your laughter, coming from inside your apartment. The honey-like harmony was like music to Spencer's ears. A small smile crept up on his features; what the hell was going on with him? How could he possibly feel an attraction to someone he’s never met, held a conversation with.

The boy stopped abruptly when he noticed Spencer. His arms fell, and he ran into your apartment. Vanished as if he’d seen a ghost. Although, he must have been waiting, looking out for when the coast was clear again, because as soon as Spencer closed his own door the buzzing resumed.

It continued on for hours.

Having spent time with JJ’s boys, Spencer was no stranger to the amount of energy little kids possessed. Often when playing he would be the one to grow tired first. He would be the one that needed a break while they continued to wreak havoc. Therefore the noises didn't bother him. He went about his evening, subconsciously listening out for your voice.

The next few days were quiet.

Not like he spent a lot of time at home anyway. Between his classes and his unpredictable work hours with the FBI, he only went back to his apartment to sleep. And that was usually really late at night.

Thursday evening, after a surprisingly short day, he was fumbling through his bag in search for his key when the sudden urge to go and finally say hello came over him. He knocked on your door and instantly heard shuffling inside. There was no turning back now.

Soon you were standing in front of him. Subtly, he looked you up and down. His grip on the strap of his bag tightening. Wow, you were even more beautiful than the glimpses he caught.

That came off rather stalker-ish, he took a mental note.

“Hello. Can I help you?” You asked while leaning against the frame, one hand holding the door so not let the brunette stranger see inside.

“Hi, I’m Spencer. I live across the hall.” He introduced himself, examining your face for any sort of reaction. Completely blank. “Can I help you?” You repeated. The brunette doctor was slightly taken aback by your cold shoulder. He pursed his lips into a thin smile. “No. I just wanted to introduce myself and say that if you needed anything-” “Thanks.” You cut him off and closed the door in his face.

Spencer took a step back. That definitely didn’t go as he thought it would. He rationalised your behaviour as a response to his tardiness with regards to greeting you and your son in the building. Although he still couldn’t believe you were so, for lack of a better word, bitchy.

Glancing one last time at your door, he unlocked his own and stepped inside. At least now he could say he tried introducing himself. He tried being the friendly neighbour.

Saturday arrived once again in the blink of an eye. This particular morning, the hazel-eyed doctor had an abundance of papers to grade. He made himself comfortable and got to work.

Unlike last week, when the airplane noises didn't bother him, today he found them to be quite irritating. He would reread the same sentences at least twice before he even began to understand them. Not ideal.

Frustrated, he ran his fingers through his already messy curls and let out a deep sigh. He really needed to concentrate, but he also didn't want to be a dick about it. Possibly making the already tense situation even worse.

Quickly, and rather impulsively, he gathered his things. He put on his shoes, threw his bag over his shoulder, and walked out into the hall.

This time the little boy was sitting on the floor in the middle of the corridor. In his hands he gripped two toy planes, flying them around in the air. The boy looked up at Spencer and smiled, but continued to play. Spencer smiled back while locking his door, and proceeded to make his way down the stairs.

Yes. He felt good about his decision to work somewhere else for the day.

That evening, as he was about to reheat some leftovers, there was a knock on the door. It was faint. So faint in fact he wasn't sure if he heard it at first. For a split second he hesitated, his attention now focused solely on the door. Another knock. Louder this time. He hurried over and opened it to greet the mysterious guest.

You.

Dressed in an oversized band t-shirt, one Spencer didn't recognise, and a pair of biker shorts - all covered in spatters of colourful paint. Your hair was up in a bun with loose strands escaping by your face. Spencer also noticed a yellow paint smudge on your left cheek, and white speckles on your forehead. Despite the dishevelled attire, you looked considerably more relaxed than the day he went to introduce himself.

“I guess I should start off by apologising.” You began in that melodic tone he first heard last week. “When you came by, I was really rude. I'm not usually like that, I swear. It’s just I have a lot on my plate right now. Benny’s grandparents, from his dad’s side, are giving me grief for moving so far away from them. Even though it’s only an extra twenty minute drive. But you know, they are Benny’s grandparents and I love them. They’re family. Anyway, minutes before you knocked I was on the phone with them, again about the same thing, and the conversation put me in a foul mood. Which really isn’t an excuse for the way I acted towards you so, yeah, inexcusable. I’m sorry.”

The hazel-eyed doctor couldn't help but lightly smirk. He’s never met anyone that rambled nearly as much as him. He’s learned more about you in the last ten seconds than he did the whole time you lived across from him.

“Okay. Okay, you’re smiling. That’s a good sign, right?” You brought your hands to your face, gently pressing your fingertips to the corners of your mouth as if to cover the embarrassment you were no doubtly feeling right now. “Because I did actually come here to invite you over for pizza. A truly lame attempt to try show you that I am in fact a good person and not that bitch you met.”

“I love pizza.” Spencer simply stated causing a sigh of relief to escape your lips.

“Great. That’s great.” A warm expression graced your facial features. “Oh, I’m Y/N by the way.” You were about to reach out your hand when you noticed the colourful paint covering your fingers. “Mom life.” You joked, cheeks flushing a soft pink, and let your arms fell back down to your side.

You patiently waited for Spencer to grab his keys and phone before making your way across the hall.

Your apartment was slightly larger than his, two bedrooms, and the decor also couldn’t have been more different to his own. Colourful, vibrant, homey. Those would be the words he’d use to describe what he was witnessing.

In the middle of the living space stood a dark green couch. Draped over it were numerous blankets, hiding underneath them were mismatched throw pillows. On the coffee table lay a stack of books, surrounded by children’s toys. The wall behind the television was decorated from corner to corner with various sized frames. Inside those frames were different movie posters, photos, random prints, and what he speculated was some of Benny’s artwork.

He was in awe as to how fast you managed to make this place feel like your own.

“Make yourself comfortable. I’m gonna quickly wash my hands to try get this pesky paint off, and then we can order food.” With that you disappeared leaving Spencer alone to examine the rest of your place.

His attention was caught by a not so white bedsheet, opposite end of the living space. It was covered in paint. On top of the sheet, stood an old pickle jar that was filled with water. It held numerous brushes. Next to it was a plastic box with tubes of acrylic paint with every colour a person could possibly dream of.

Spencer took a couple of steps towards the bedsheet. He didn't want to seem nosey, he just wanted to get a better look at the currently drying canvases. A distinct pitter of small feet caused him to stand up straight, frozen, as if he was caught doing something illegal.

“A-are, are you the pizza guy?” Benny asked curiously, tilting his little head to one side.

“No uhm, I’m Spencer. I live across the hall.” He explained. “Your mom invited me.” That felt like an important thing to add.

Benny sized him up. His eyes narrowed, lips pursed into a serious pout, nose scrunched. He crossed his little arms as if he was daring Spencer. It was rather silly, this five year old trying to intimidate a grown man, and yet the brunette doctor began to feel nervous. He didn't understand why. He was usually really good with kids.

“Benny, bunny, quit trying to scare our guest.” You returned, grabbing your sons attention and breaking the odd charade. Benny’s gaze traveled to you. “Go do a little clean up of your toys please. I saw those planes your pops bought you in the bathtub. That’s not their place, is it?” Benny shook his head and ran off with a loud chuckle.

You glanced at Spencer and shot him a kind smile.

“Sorry about that. He gets the whole intimidation thing after his dad.” “That’s okay.” Spencer replied. You could tell he was being nice, just like he could tell Benny’s dad was a touchy subject. Spencer wasn’t about to make it worse. It wasn’t his place. And you didn't know him well enough yet to spill the secrets of your past relationship. Therefore, the two of you stood completely still for an awkward second just looking at one another.

“Would you like anything to drink?” You asked, breaking the silence. “We have orange juice, water, or mom juice.” “Mom juice?” Spencer raised an intrigued brow. “Wine.” You explained giggling. Spencer nodded his head with a smile. “I’ll have some mom juice then.” “Good choice.”

As he sat down on the couch, you receded into the kitchen, returning shortly with two plastic cups in hand. “I forgot to ask which you’d prefer, red or white, so I brought a glass of each. Whatever you won’t have, I’ll drink.” You reached out your hands. Spencer took the cup with red wine, his fingers brushing gently against yours in the process. Spark. No, he thought. He was imagining things.

Unknown to the brunette doctor, you felt it too. The blood rushed to your face for a split second as you nervously cleared your throat before taking a sip of your wine.

“You have to forgive the plastic cups. One of Benny’s latest favourite activities is pretending to be an airplane and breaking everything in sight, so I locked all my nicer glassware away.” You explained while elegantly plopping down next to Spencer. “Plastic cups are nice. It’s like a picnic.” God, how dumb. He mentally smacked himself. Idiot.

However, your light giggle indicated you didn’t seem to mind. Your eyes widened a little, and he could have sworn they were glistening. “Well thank you Spencer. You’re the first person to say something nice rather than commenting on my parenting style.”

It was the first time you said his name out loud. And in that melodic tone of yours, it echoed inside his brain like a song. Leaving a permanent mark.

“My mom thinks I need to discipline him more, but no-one ever said it would be this hard alone.” You babbled on, completely oblivious to the silent commotion currently going on inside Spencer’s mind. “Benny’s dad was the bad cop per se, I’m no good at it. My son can cause all the trouble in the world, and still all it would take is for him to look up at me with those bunny eyes and all is good again. Probably because he has his dad’s eyes...” You stopped yourself, and chewed down on your bottom lip.

“Sorry.” You fluttered your lashes at the man sitting next to you. “I’ve been told I talk too much.”

Spencer brought the cup to the brim of his mouth and chuckled. “Don’t be. I’ve been told the exact same thing.” He took a sip of his wine.

“I find that hard to believe. You’ve barely squeezed in four full sentences these last fifteen minutes, while I just go on and on and on.”

“Give it time. I guarantee you’ll be sick of me by the end of the night, and I will never get invited over for pizza again.”

Without thinking, you reached out and placed your hand on his forearm. The air hitched in Spencer’s throat as his eyes briefly traveled down to where you were gently grasping. “Consider this your weekly invite.” You said in a silvery tone and proceeded to give his arm a gentle squeeze.

Just like that, Spencer’s Saturday routine was richer by one more item. Perhaps the most important item on the list. Pizza at the apartment across from his.

Truthfully, it was his favourite time of the week.

During those weekly visits, Spencer quickly learned a lot about you. Where you grew up, any likes and dislikes, hobbies, facts about your family. He learned that you used to teach art at a high school; a job you loved but ultimately decided to leave after you became a single parent. Now, you work at an art gallery only a few blocks from here.

Spencer evened out the scale by sharing his own stories and fables. You were quite surprised to hear about the numerous doctorates he possessed, the work he did, some of the shit he went through, and honestly just how smart he actually was.

Each time you met, you each discovered something new about one another. Something that made you seem even more interesting in the other persons eyes.

Although, an unspoken agreement was in place, the topic of Benny’s dad was off limits. For now.

When Benny got comfortable having Spencer around, the weekly pizza routine evolved into other activities involving you and your son. Movie nights. Walks to the park. Playground visits. Home-cooked dinners at yours. Puzzle afternoons at his. Spencer taught Benny and you magic tricks, while you taught Spencer how to paint.

Soon enough you were exchanging keys and before either of you even realised, six months passed.

Spencer spent Saturday morning preparing class materials for the week ahead, as usual. Through the thin walls he could hear unmistakable airplane noises and patter of feet running up and down the corridor. He smiled to himself. The echo was a pleasant reminder it was only a few hours until he would see you for pizza.

See during these last few months, Spencer fell head over heels for you. He fell hard. The ever present smile on circling your already perfect features when he was around, your honey-like laughter, your lavender scent, the way you were with Benny, the way you always watched the hazel-eyed doctor with such great interest whenever he broke out into an obscure fact.

The more time he spent with you, the more his love grew.

Spencer knew that he could never act on it. If he was a selfish man perhaps, but he wasn’t. He would never put his own needs ahead of your friendship as it wasn’t just you and him in this scenario. He had to consider Benny. What if the relationship went south and he was just another man to break both of your hearts? No. He’d never act on his feelings. There was way too much at stake.

Though he still considered himself lucky. Having a place in your life, being your friend. That’s lucky.

“Right on time as always.” You beamed as Spencer stumbled inside, closing your apartment door behind him. He ambled towards the coach and sat in his now usual spot - the left corner, with you in the right.

“Where’s Benny?” He asked, looking around for the little monster. “Benny is tucked away in his bed. He kindly requested a slice of pizza to be brought to him once it arrives so it’s really just you and me tonight. Hope that’s still okay with you.” “I mean, yeah, I guess that’s fine.” Spencer teased, shrugging his shoulders.

You rolled your eyes at him, but didn't say anything else on the matter. Odd, the brunette doctor thought. You always had a witty comeback. It was one of the many things he loved about you.

“I’m sure you could tell me how many pizza nights we had exactly, so I took the liberty of ordering our food already.” You said with a small smile.

“Thirty-two pizza nights.” Spencer stated simply. You furrowed your brows. “That doesn't right.” “Taking into account every Saturday we spent together, plus pizza on your birthday, Memorial Day, and the other few evenings we didn't feel like cooking, it adds up to thirty-two.”

“Holy shit. Maybe we should start ordering salads.” Spencer chuckled at your response. “Pizza is a lot better.” He pointed out and you couldn't argue with that logic.

Food arrived shortly after. You briskly took two slices over to Benny on a plastic plate, checking up on him in the process. While you were gone Spencer chose a movie. One that you would both equally enjoy.

You sat down again, only this time you sat beside him in what is usually Benny’s spot. Shoulder to shoulder. Spencer froze completely. Thinking if he’d move even an inch, it would scare you off and you’d shift away. You reached for a blanket and draped it over the two of you before glancing up at the hazel-eyed doctor.

“Is this okay?” Contrary to the usual melodic tone of your voice, the question came out quite croaky. Nervous. He met your gaze, losing himself completely in the colour of your eyes, and slowly nodded his head.

He’s thought about kissing you before and always managed to fight the urge. Although, in all the time the two of you spent together he was never situated this close to you. Your face was a mere few inches away from his. Oh fuck.

The moment lasted only about half a second, but to Spencer it felt like time stood still. Honestly, if you hadn’t turned away to start the movie, he probably would have lost the inner battle. He wouldn't have been able to hold himself back. He would have kissed you. Maybe he was a selfish man after all.

Swallowing the growing lump in his throat, Spencer also turned his attention to the tv. Without breaking your eyes from the screen ahead, you handed him a slice of pizza which he took gratefully. The two of you ate in silence. Enjoying the movie, but mainly each other’s presence.

The brunette man couldn't place the exact moment you cuddled yourself up to him. One minute he peeked to ask you a question about something that now seemed unimportant and you were just there, your head resting against his chest.

A smile circled his lips. He could definitely get used to this.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m completely lost.” You mumbled. “And that says a lot considering I’ve seen this movie before. I didn’t understand it then, I still don’t understand it now.”

“If you've seen this before, why did you let me choose it?” Spencer asked. You tilted to look up at him. “Because I thought you’d be able to explain it to me. You know, using that big genius brain of yours.”

Spencer chuckled. He lifted his hand and began to gently caress the top of your head. “What if I tell you my theory and it ruins the movie for you?” He asked, but you waved your hand dismissing his question. “What if you tell me and it improves the movie?”

“That’s a fair point I guess. Okay.” He continued to run his fingers through your hair as he began to explain. “The movie seems confusing because it’s actually reverse order storytelling. It kind of works its way from the end to the beginning through a series of flashbacks and flash-forwards. Therefore, as you’re watching, you get a view into Lenny’s diminishing state of mind.”

You raised a brow. “Are you sure you haven't seen ‘Memento’ before?”

He raised his hands palms up. “I swear this is my first time.” He pledged, corners of his mouth twisting into a smile. “Hmm...” “I’m just extremely observant. Plus you know I love puzzles, and this movie is like one giant puzzle.” He continued.

“Let’s pretend I believe you Spencer.” You said squinting at him, before turning back to look at the tv. The brunette man smirked under his breath. His hand once again tangling itself in your hair.

The sound of a delicate tiptoe approaching the living room caused you to sit up and reach for the remote. Although to Spencer’s surprise you didn't move away from him. Instead, you leaned your body into his side so that if you wanted, you could place your head back on his shoulder.

“Mommy.” Benny muttered. With a little hoist from you, he scrambled into your lap. “Mommy.” “What’s up bunny? Mommy was just finishing a movie, and then I would have come check on you.”

Benny shook his head. He gripped onto the collar of your t-shirt with one hand, the other travelled to your face. He pushed himself into you, angling your head so that he could whisper something in your ear.

Spencer watched as the smile on your face widened at whatever it was Benny said. The young boy pulled away, and waited for your response. “I don’t know kiddo. Would you like me to ask him?” Benny nodded, also now grinning.

“Spencer?” You turned to address the brunette man. “What is your opinion on pillow forts?” He saw the sparkle in your eyes and he couldn't help but smile. “I love pillow forts.”

Within the hour, the living space was completely transformed into a squashy soft kingdom. Benny joyfully screamed that this was the best pillow fort ever as he crawled inside, teddybear in hand.

You nudged Spencer’s arm before staring up at him. “Thank you.” Your eyes locked as your hand slid into his with ease. Fingers instantly intertwining together like magnets.

“We haven't done this since his dad passed. I’ve suggested it many many times, but he uhm, Benny never wanted to.” Pause. The expression on your face dulled. Mouth quivering as you spoke. “Ehm, his dad was a pilot hence my little guys obsession with planes. He died really suddenly nineteen months ago. Benny was so so small. And I don’t really know how much he remembers of his dad, I mean I tell him stories all the time and so do his grandparents, it’s just hard to tell sometimes if uhm... Pillow forts were like their thing, so after his dad I think they were too painful for Benny.”

Spencer gave your hand a gentle squeeze. You were both now standing toe to toe, facing each other fully.

“I guess Benny just needed to feel ready again. Happy even. So what I’m trying to say is, Spencer, thank you. Truly. Thank you for brining joy back into his life.” You hesitated, biting down on your bottom lip.

“Thank you for brining joy back into both of our lives.”

It meant a lot to Spencer that you finally felt comfortable enough to share more details about Benny’s dad. He never wanted to replace the man, he wouldn't dream of it. All he really wanted since the day he met you was to make you a little bit happier, and to hear he was succeeding warmed his heart.

You immediately noticed how his face lit up ever so slightly. A miniature smile circled your lips. “I just hope we didn't obscure your life too much these last few months.”

Using his free hand, he placed the loose strands of your hair behind your ear. Gently caressing your cheek with his thumb in the process. “Are you kidding? There is nothing I would rather be doing. I love spending time with you guys.”

Your eyes sparked with admiration.

“I love our pizza nights, overanalysing different movies with you, listening to Benny’s rendition of ‘In Summer’ from ‘Frozen’. Heck, I love that I now know what ‘Frozen’ is.” You chuckled as he carried on. “I love painting with you, and how you tell me I’ve gotten a lot better at it even though we both know that’s not true. I love that you get a long with my friends. I love that I can take you and Benny over to JJ’s for playdates. Surprisingly, I love playdates. I love how you let me read to Benny when you’re cooking. I love that he loves when I read to him. And of course I love your cooking.”

Tears formed in your eyes, blurring your vision. Tears of happiness. Tears of joy. The man standing in front of you was saying all of the right things, and he didn't even know it. Or maybe he did. You couldn't really tell. The intense emotions circling through your mind right now made it hard to think.

Spencer continued. Now that he started, he couldn't stop. He wanted you to know all of these things. He wanted you to know how he felt.

“I love when we go grocery shopping all together, and how you give out to me for my bad diet habits. I love how that always makes Benny laugh. I love how you framed a photo of the three of us and hung it up on your wall, don’t think I didn't notice. I love building lego sets with Benny. I love how the two of you call me when I’m away on a case to make sure I’m okay and tell me about your day. I love the sound of your voice. I love... I love Benny.”

He paused for a split second.

“And I especially love you.”

Tiny salty droplets trailed down your cheeks as you fluttered your lashes. “You love me?” You asked quietly. Spencer nodded his head. “I do. I’m in love with you Y/N.”

You didn't say anything.

Spencer thought he was done for when you let go of his hand. He thought he ruined it. His nose twitched. His stomach dropped. He was about to apologise, say that if you didn't feel the same way it was definitely more than okay. He just wanted you in his life. But he didn't get a chance too.

Instead, your hand was now holding his face. Your lips attached themselves to his in one breath. He instantly noted how they were softer than he could have ever possibly imagined.

You tasted like coconut chapstick. Like bliss, delight. Instinctively, Spencer’s arm wrapped itself around your waist pulling you as close as humanely possible. He could feel your heart beating in rhythm with his. As your hand tangled itself in his curly hair, he wished this moment could last forever.

When you pulled away breathless, your cheeks were flushed pink. You briefly bit down on your bottom lip before once again meeting Spencer’s inviting gaze - his arm still holding you in a tight embrace.

“Tell me again.” You whispered. Spencer’s lips circled into a warm smile. “I love you.” He declared. You slowly traced along his jawline with your fingertips. A bright bream circling your features. “I love you too Spencer.”

The second those words filled the air, he picked you up by the waist and spun you around. A carefree shriek slipped out from your mouth. He set you down and gently grabbing your face, he hauled you in for another kiss.

“You have no idea how long I have wanted to tell you all of those things.” He muttered against your lips. His stubble grazing your chin.“How long I’ve been wanting to kiss you.” You giggled.

“Maybe one day you can enlighten me, but I think now we better crawl into that fort as it is way too quiet in there. Suspiciously quiet.”

Spencer laughed. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” The two of you broke apart. Hand in hand, you joined Benny inside the pillow kingdom.

The boy was tangled up in a fuzzy blanket, slowly drifting asleep. He cuddled himself up to you the second your back hit the ground. You kissed the top of his head before turning to Spencer.

“Do you want to finish the movie?” You asked quietly.

“It’s okay.” He effortlessly squeezed his arm behind your neck. This allowed you to snuggle in closer and rest against him. “We can just lay here.” “What a perfect plan.”

The smile on your face caused Spencer's heart to skip a beat. He placed a kiss to your temple feeling 100% content.

It was Saturday morning. Saturday. A day Spencer used to spend grading papers and preparing class materials for the week ahead. Now, thanks to the woman sleeping peacefully beside him, his Saturdays looked much different.

Gradually, you stirred next to him. Eyes fluttering open as a yawn escaped your mouth. “Mhmm, good morning.” “Good morning beautiful.”

“How much time do you think we have?” You asked while stretching. “I would say,” Spencer glanced at the imaginary watch on his wrist. “, about five minutes.” He looked down at you and began slowly leaning in. You couldn't help but let out a soft giggle. “Let’s make ‘em count.”

A clatter of fast approaching feet caused you to halt right as your lips were about to touch. Spencer groaned knocking his head back against the wooden headboard.

“Your calculations were a little off Dr. Reid.” You teased sitting up as he ran his fingers through his ruffled hair. He looked at you once again with the kindest smile. You loved that smile.

“My apologies Mrs. Reid.” He pecked your lips just as the door flew open, your kids bursting through.

masterlist

spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no, @calm-and-doctor, @idroppedmygourd

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid drabble #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fluff #fluff

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meltingpotimagines · 3 years

Text

Boyfriend!Deku

this boy is such a loving, considerate cutie you cannot convince me he wouldn’t be the greatest boyfriend esp to ochaco

but i digress

stumbled over his words and rambled when he asked you out

“i- i know i’m not as c-cool as k-kacchan or as handsome as t-todorki but i th-think you’re reallycoolandi’dlovetotakeyououtonadate.”

poor boy was a nervous wreck

midoriya izuku i swear if you don’t finally realize how amazing you are-

his face nearly split in half with how big his grin was when you agreed to go out with him

pls he’s so cUTE i lov him

researched the best places to take someone on a date

it’s his first date he doesn’t know where to go or what to do

tried to get advice from all might but that proved to be... less than helpful

ended up going to momo bc she’s a girl she knows what girls like right?

thankfully the answer to that was yes

took you on a cute little picnic in a park

made all of the food himself

he may or may not have spent an entire day looking up recipes, trying to find the best ones

this date had to be perfect okay? he was not about to blow his possibly one and only shot bc of f o o d

luckily for him and you he may not be the world’s greatest cook but boy knows his way around the kitchen well enough

*cough*with some help from sato*cough*

scoped out the park beforehand to find the best spot

picked a magnolia tree by the pond

not too tall, provided plenty of shade, ground wasn’t too lumpy, you could even feed the ducks if you wanted

i mean who wouldn’t? their cuteness is only topped by puppies and kittens and deku

made sure to pack extra rice and grapes for the ducks bc he remembered koda ranting once about how bad bread is for them

tried to keep the conversation light and interesting by sticking to topics he’d read were good ice breakers and interesting to girls

was visibly relieved when you told him to relax and just talk about whatever he wanted

awkwardly reached for your hand walking you home

was a little stiff at the physical contact but the feeling of your hand in his brought a bright, little smile onto his face

his brain fried when you gave him a little goodnight kiss on the cheek

boy’s never blushed so hard in his l i f e

nearly imploded from all the teasing his dormmates gave him over his bright red face when he got home

he’s the type to make this elaborate plan for every special occasion

your birthday, anniversaries, valentine’s day

they’re called s p e c i a l occasions for a reason ofc he’s going to make sure they’re as special as he can possibly make them

somehow manages to top himself every year even tho the past year was so extravagant like izuku w h e r e are you getting the inspiration for all of this-

wants to know everything about you, down to the smallest detail

your favorite color? your favorite song? your favorite snack?

your childhood memories are his favorite bc he gets to see your smile and hear your laugh as you remembering all the good times and funny moments

subconsciously takes note of the expressions you make and the way speak for different emotions

bc of that he can always tell when you’re sad, even when you’re trying your best to hide it

always there when you need to talk

he’s a deep thinker and a great listener so he’s typically the best person to go to

the touchiest lil thing

was shy at first but now openly craves it 24/7

hugs, cuddles, kisses, he wants it all

blushes when anyone makes fun of him for the pda but that won’t stop him

he has really strong emotions okay? boy needs to express them

was terrified the first time he said i love you

what if he said it too early? what if you didn’t feel the same way? what if him saying it scares you off he couldn’t bear to lose you-

‘i love you too’

stood still for a moment as his brain processed those words before grinning like the love-struck dope he is and tackling you with a hug

and i mean literally tackled

made sure to roll as you fell so he took the brunt of the fall and you ended up on top of him

not that he noticed the compromising position in his joyful bliss

he was just so happy that you love him

the most amazing person he’s ever met loves him

wow

how’d he get so lucky?

makes sure to say it all the time from then on out

‘good morning Izuku’ “good morning i love you”

‘how do i look?’ “you look beautiful i love you”

‘what do you want for lunch?’ “i don’t care i love you”

he’s a dork but he’s your dork so how can you not love it?

lowkey overprotective of you

it’s not that he doesn’t think you can take care of yourself, he just worries a little too much and never wants you to get hurt from anything

manages to keep it under control, but if anyone ever threatened you oh boy they better run bc this precious boy w i l l show them why he’s destined to be the number one hero

he may be a lil cinnamon roll but he is d e a d l y and will not hesitate to take someone down if you’re in danger

they’ll get locked up faster than bakugo can say die

he cares so much about everyone and he feels that tenfold when it comes to you

he’ll never fail to make you feel like the most special and loved person on the planet

#deku #deku imagine #deku x reader #izuku #izuku imagine #izuku x reader #izuku midoriya #my hero academia #mha #mha imagine #boko no hero academia #bnha #bnha imagine

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tokimihyachi · 3 years

Note

Everyone always asks for the Captains and Magic Knight headcannons (nothing wrong with that - always love them) but you rarely ever see hcs for our favorite supporting/up&coming characters :(

Would you by chance please do ‘relationship headcanons’ + ‘how protective they are’ or ‘how they let their guard down’ for Mars, Patri/Patolli, Licht, and Liebe?

warnings: may contain spoilers!

notes: awww, now that you mention it, it is true that i rarely see any of these four. and it’s alright fo u to request them! honestly love them a bunch. very underrated babies, indeed. 🥰 hope you like these! and sorry if their kinda long. i went all out because as you said, you hardly see their names here.

p.s. i simp for patri a lot, it just doesn’t seem like it kabcnsmd

MARS | the closet simp

after the first stage of the experiment thing that happened, he never once approached or talked to you

you were aware of the sideffects, so you had to understand the situation

whenever you were with him he always had those instances of sudden relapses

he described his headaches as the worst

of course, you’d take care of him

he likes to swat your hand when u get touchy-touchy :((

but then the atmosphere shifts when you two are in the battlefield

he always finds himself eyeing your every move

when someone decides to attack you, you wouldn’t even notice because he’s always there, blocking their advances

accidentally get a scratch because of a spell that wasn’t even meant for you?

consider that person gone in a second ( a hardcore simp, wbk)

when he finally remembers things, he’d apologize everyday

seriously. he’s so guilty, that the first thing he say’s everytime the two of you meet is “im sorry”

he’d be more considerate, and his stares at you are no longer the cold hard ones, but the soft and loving kind

would randomly hug you

“hmm? is there something wrong, mars?”

he won’t reply, and instead he would hug you tighter while nuzzling his head on the crook of your neck

“i just missed you.”

“eh? but i’m with you everyday.”

“not an excuse not to miss you.”

PATRI/ PATOLLI | the tsundere

as the number one human hater leader of the eye of the midnight sun, he has an image to protect, so, of course, his focus is always on his plans

you like staring at him

when he feels your eyes on him and he’d ask why, you’d only reply with nonesense such as: “you’re just pretty to watch”

he’d automatically furrow his brows at this

“you think this is all fun and games, y/n?”

just the tone of his voice is enough to make you shiver in place

“whatever, pretty boy” and then you’d leave him by himself before he blows a fuse

he would never admit it, but your compliments always make his stomach all fuzzy

doesn’t know how to deal with emotions so he just releases it out as anger (poor boy :<<)

he always feels bad when you’re the one he vents out on

after the whole elf ordeal, he’d become more approachable

always looking out for you

the kind of guy to tug the side of your clothes so he can walk near the street and you would be safe on the sidewalk

a diehard fan of holding hands

he just loves the feeling of how well your hands fit with his

still gets flustered when you compliment him, but with all of the hate + rage + demon gone, he’s more open and would compliment you back

he revels in your attention

melts on the spot when you caress his cheeks and plat a soft kiss on his temple

the first time you two kissed, he just captured your lips as you were rambling about something

he couldn’t help it! you’re just too cute in his eyes!

rip to all the ogling eyes staring at you tho, in a blink of an eye they’re as good as gone

“oh, patri! where did you go to?”

“had to take care of a few pests, love. shall we go?”

LICHT | the proud boyfie

mAN, is staring at this beautiful being even enough? if you only had painting magic like one of the other elves then maybe you would’ve made one already to honor such a perfect image

he’s very interested in the culture and “way of the humans”

you would think it’s weird at first, but then the way he smiles when learning new things is enough for those unsure thoughts to dissipate

so, of course you develop a crush first

you like daydreaming of him (oop, hopeless romantic spotted!)

he knows you’re looking at him with those loving eyes, but doesn’t say a word

what a sly, sly man

would tease you at first by always brushing your hands against each other when you walk

he’d act all innocent when you look back up at him, but in reality he’s laughing so hard at your impeccable personification of a tomato

but then you suddenly became close with all the other elves

especially rhya, cause ya’know, you relate with him being a lazy bum because you have your lethargic tendencies too

he’s not one to be jealous or anything

he just misses the attention you give him

sometimes, the elf kids would find him all slouched on tree with his chin resting on the open palm of his hand as he gazed at you two

definitely not jealous

but when you accidentally trip because of lil children running around and bruise your ankle slightly, he’d be there ASAP

would tend to your wounds and confess then and there

the bold type to kiss you on the spot after the confession (not that you mind sksksksks)

he likes to flaunt everything you do to everyone

sometimes the elves get tired of his incessant talks filled with “y/n, y/n, y/n, y/n, y/n…”

“i almost forgot, did you know that y/n unlocked a new spell yesterday?”

“WE KNOW. THAT’S THE 34TH TIME YOU SAID IT TODAY!”

what can you do, he’s just in love 🥰

LIEBE | the explosive dolt & a closet yandere

since he’s bakugou’s counterpart a devil and all that, his first reaction was a loud, “HUHHH?” when you confessed to him

genuinely believes you’re messing with him

because of his past, he doesn’t really warm up to the idea nicely

(by explosive, i mean def not bakugou it as sudden outbursts of his reactions)

he’s the kind of guy to distance himself after you confess

after some time, he’d just randomly talk to you

but because you’re a stubborn, prideful person who knows their worth (as u should! 👑) you don’t pay as much attention to them

at this, he’d notice you’re always with asta

he’s irritated that you give the ash-blonde magicless fool more attention than him

whenever the two would spar, you’d only clap and cheer for asta, causing the said boy to blush profusely, whilst you smile cheekily

who could blame you tho, asta’s been the one who consoled you when liebe outright rejected you by not speaking to you for so long

he likes punching asta, “hey! what did you punch me for, you jerk!?”

“eh, your face seems punchable or something”

it’s not like liebe’s jealous or anything

always grunts loudly and makes noise when you and asta talk

“why did you throw the whole pole beside us?! we would’ve been hurt!”

“eh, the place looks like it needs an extra leg or something”

no. he’s not jealous

he would confront and talk to himself through a mirror, and ask his self what the hell is wrong with him and why is he acting this way towards you

you accidentally walk in the bathroom as they speak of their pent-up frustrations

cue awkward silence

but since it’s too much, he’d bluntly confess to you when he’s had enough of your closeness with asta

whenever he can, he’d always have you beside him or near him so he can keep a closer eye on him

he’s just afraid to be attached to someone only to lose them in the end like what happened to momma licita 🥺🤧

“liebe have you seen asta?”

“eh, he must’ve died or something.”

#black clover #patri #licht #mars #liebe #black clover headcanons #patri x reader #patolli #licht x reader #mars x reader #liebe x reader

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oinkawa-bb · 4 years

Text

first dates with atsumu, osamu, and suna

request: hi!! i just read your dad hq headcanons and they just warmed my heart SO MUCH!!!! can i rq first dates with suna, osamu and atsumu? i also wanted to know if you'll be making a post w rules for requesting bc i don't wanna rq something out of your character limit, or someone that you don't write for!! your writing is just really sweet i can't wait to read more of it :D

note: awie ur so cute anon tyty!!!🥰 and by tha way, my updated rules page is here so check it out if you wanna leave future reqs<3 thank you for being so considerate - i hope you enjoy!! i’m not super confident about this one but i tried my best & chose what my ideal first date ideas would b🥺 so here are first dates with suna, atsumu, & osamu!

mentions: fluff, cw food/eating

☀︎—atsumu miya

atsumu’s been building up his courage to ask you out for over a month....

like, at first he was so sure it would be an easy task for him,,,

until he actually sees you up close in the hallways once

and his palms just instantly start sweating and his eyes can’t even leave the ground for one second

he wants to smack himself bc he doesn’t understand why he feels like this...

so this one day, atsumu swears that he’s going to complete his mission when he sees you alone walking in the halls to your first class,,,

but he ends up turning around, about to chicken out again...

until he gets shoved into you by a too-over-this-shit osamu who’s seen his brother be a dummy for a month straight

atsumu ends up apologizing, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head and channeling all of his confidence to ask you out

but his mind is all over the place, and when he finally stops blabbering, you just hold out your hand signaling for him to give you his phone

you smile, tell him you look forward to it, and swiftly turn around after returning his phone with your number in it, leaving him utterly speechless and kinda turned on

this mans hypes himself up so hard for the date,,

so when he picks you up,, he’s all slick & cracking dumb jokes that make you laugh at how bad they are

it’s before dusk when you arrive at the carnival, and there’s so many things to do that you two can’t decide where to go first!!

it’s crowded,,, so atsumu uses this opportunity to nonchalantly reach for your hand and pull you to a spinning teacup ride

the two of you end up dizzy as hell after,,

but i legit think atsumu was acting extra dizzy so he could lean on you for support🙄

next up, atsumu wants to do this mini archery game to win you a stuffed animal,

but there’s too much noise around him to focus (sure,, tsumu🙄🙄)

and he claims that’s why he misses the whole target for like five consecutive rounds...

to make sure he doesn’t waste all his money on this game,

you take the bow from him and end up scoring bullseye on your first try

and he’s pouting hella hard with his arms crossed, but he can’t help but admire how what u just did was rly hot😳

he’ll also forever hold onto the fox plushie you won for him

as the sun begins to set,, you two decide to go on the ferris wheel

and it’s major uwu hours bc atsumu n u have some cute lil talks about your future plans and worries and dreams and 🥺🥺

atsumu gets soft when he realizes that your eyelids are droopy,,, so he interlaces his fingers between yours and gently pulls your head down to rest on his shoulder,,,

and on the car ride home,

he’ll still be holding your hand and taking little peeks at you, unbelieving of how lucky he is to have gone on a date with you🥰

☀︎—osamu miya

you only have one class with samu,

but you two were partners for a project and the partnership quickly turned into a easy-going friendship

the connection you develop w osamu over time is just so natural and sweet ugh,,

like you two understand each other even without words,

just quick glances during class when someone says something dumb are enough for you two to communicate LOL

and you two also like to “study” together a lot outside of class,

but oftentimes it’s just whispering to one another about random shit late into the night at a library uwuwu

until the librarian kicks you two out

so when one day, osamu suggests going on a picnic together post-exam,

there’s no hesitation as you accept his offer!!!

you weren’t totally sure of what to expect or what to bring, so you just end up buying some preprepared lunch boxes and cut up fruit,,

but when you show up to the picnic in the park and realize that osamu cooked and packed a five course meal,

you’re humiliated to say the least LMAO

but he reassures you, promising that he just likes to cook for fun!! so you’re able to calm down hehe

uh, however,,,,

when osamu sees you in nice clothes other than your uniform??? the cute little sundress you’re wearing???

EEEK the boy is bright red

once all the food is unpacked,

the both of you enjoy the meal fully,, (when i say fully... i mean you guys ate all of it. like. all of it.)

you didn’t expect osamu to be such a talented cook, and when you compliment him, the tips of his ears definitely redden🥰🥰

after clearing all the food, osamu collapses on the picnic blanket, just moments away from experiencing a food coma LOL

you lay down next to him in utter peace and happiness with your eyes closed

you two nap bask in the sun for a few minutes before osamu’s turning onto his side to face you

he asks you a lot of questions, genuinely curious and wanting to know more about you,

like your favorite shows and movies, your goals in life, your loved ones, etc etc.

it’s nearly two hours by the time both of you run out of things to say and return to silence

for some reason,

osamu can’t quite put his finger on it, but he’s so comfortable to just be beside you, talking or not...

and you feel so at ease in his presence too🥺

when you two are both done lazing around and begin to pack up,

he murmurs softly under his breath to ask if you’d like to do this again

and when you flash him an enthusiastic nod and grin, he can’t help but smile too<3333

mans is whipped for u

☀︎—rintaro suna

what was supposed to be a friend group outing with the twins and suna,,

unintentionally ended up being your first date with just suna😳😳

tbh it was rlly suspicious,,,

the way both the twins cancelled extremely last minute

(atsumu private mssging you his very unapologetic apologies for flaking when you were already at the ice rink)

it was neither your idea nor suna’s to go ice skating but atsumu thought it would be funny so he actually convinced osamu to help him plan this

so now you’re kinda angrily muttering to yourself outside the rink,

sitting cross-legged on the bench with your skates laced on,, having already prepaid for a skate session

but then suna walks through the door,,

and when he realizes that you & him are the only two here, his heart legit skips a beat and he feels his whole body go numb

in the moment, he’s cursing the twins for their dumb antics

& he’s also cursing himself for accidentally expressing his interest in you to them

he’s about to turn around and make a run for it when shit, you’re calling his name

“rin, can you believe the audacity of those two?”

“they’re assholes.”

but before he knows it, suna’s being pushed by you to the counter to rent a pair of skates

you refuse to waste your money just because of the twins

once he’s on the ice with you though, suna loosens up...

maybe a little too much bc the poor boy is slipping everywhere and gripping the edges of the rink with his fingertips LOL

his normally calm composure is nowhere to be seen (a combo of not being able to skate and secretly panicking abt how pretty you are)

but when he sees you giggling and cheering for him, his heart softens and you might even catch a glimpse of the ends of his mouth turning upwards into a smol grin

he swears he’s blushing like crazy when you reach for his hands to steady him and pull him along...

the big baby can’t even make eye contact with you🥺🥺

he won’t admit it, but an hour into the skating, he’s legit having the time of his life w u...

by the three hour mark, both of you have cheeks tinted bright red with joy and exhaustion,

but when you ask him if he wants to have dinner with you after, his whole body is energized again lmaooo

so you two go for some hot ramen at a nearby restaurant late at night,, just chatting about ur mutual hatred for the miyas & some other fun stuff

but suna rlly can’t believe his luck when you suggest doing this again with him some time!!!!🥰

he thinks to himself,, maybe the twins don’t suck?

no, they definitely do.

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #atsumu x reader #osamu x reader #suna x you

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ifishouldvanish · 5 years

Text

Font Recs/Typography Tips

@weatheredlaw was looking for some font recs and I was kinda planning on doing a font rec/typography tutorial post thing anyways, so here goes:

(I got carried away!)

1. A NOTE ABOUT ORGANIZING FONTS

Okay so... first of all-- I highly recommend using FontBase to manage your font files (It’s free and it’s available for Mac, Windows, and even Linux). The reason being, that as you install more and more fonts on your computer, the font menu in Photoshop will start to load really slowly. Which gets really frustrating really fast.

FontBase lets you organize your fonts into neat lil folders and activate/deactivate them as needed with a click, so you can keep the Font Menu Bloat at bay. There’s also a premium version (aptly called ‘Awesome’) that costs $3 a month and has some nifty extra features, but that’s neither her nor there. Yes, I throw three of my hard-earned dollars at them every month.

Also? If you have a work computer and a home computer, you can install FontBase on both systems and point it to a Dropbox or Google Cloud folder so that your font collection always stays in sync across both devices. 👌✨

2. WHERE TO FIND FONTS

Google Fonts So... Google Fonts is technically a webfont CDN, but all of the actual font files are available for free download from their Github repo. Alternatively, you can use FontBase to sync them directly to your computer. Which is nifty.

What I like about the Google Fonts library is 1) there’s some really NICE, high-quality font families available, and 2) it’s easily searchable.

So pop on over, play with the search filters, and if you find something you like, grab it off the Git Repo or sync it via FontBase.

League of Moveable Type It’s a free, open-source font foundry. How cool is that? The selection is pretty small, but there’s a lot of typographic staples to be found, and the quality is top notch 👌✨

Free Design Resources FDR is a great site for all kinds of design resources, but their font offerings are the most impressive. Particularly, it’s a great place to look for handwriting, script, or any other kind of ‘display’ fonts. 99% of them are demo versions of not-free fonts, but really that just means they don’t include special characters, which lbr you probably don’t need anyway.

Creative Market So as the name suggests, Creative Market is a marketplace for design resources. AKA the stuff ain’t free. HOWEVER, every week, they offer six products for free download-- a mix of fonts, textures, photo packs, etc. So create an account (it’s free) and keep an eye out for the weekly freebies.

Design Cuts This is another site that isn’t really free, though they do have a small selection of free stuff. I figured it’s worth mentioning because a lot of the fonts and textures I use, I buy from here. Every month (or two weeks? Or something?) they compile a bundle of about 20 products (be it typefaces, texture packs, or filters/actions/etc) and offer it at a massive discount (usually $30). Their stuff is always really great quality, so if they release a bundle that feels worthwhile to me, I bite. (As of this writing, they actually have bundle of some textures, fonts, and other assets available for $2)

3. A PRIMER ON DIFFERENT KINDS OF TYPEFACES

So most people are probably already aware of the categories of Serif, Sans Serif, and Display fonts. But you can split Serif and Sans Serifs up into further categories.

Here are four kinds of Serifs: Humanist, Transitional, Modern, and Slab.

The most immediate difference between these types of serifs is the stroke widths.

If you look at the modern/didone serif Bodoni, the horizontal strokes are hairline thin, and the vertical strokes are very thick. Modern/Didone typefaces are characterized by this extreme contrast in their stroke widths, and typically have a perfectly vertical axis (meaning the narrowest parts of the strokes are at the exact top and bottom of the letterform, as illustrated by the green dotted line). These features give them a bold, modern, and stylish feel.

The humanist serif Minion has the least contrast in its stroke widths, and has a diagonal stress (again, see the green dotted line). These features make them easy on the eyes and well-suited for paragraphs of text and small font sizes. Humanist typefaces most closely resemble calligraphy, and thus have an elegant, classic feel.

Transitional serifs are, well... transitional. They have more stroke width contrast than humanist serifs, but not quite enough to be considered modern/didone, and may or may not have an angled stress. Their ‘voice’ is more neutral, academic, and timeless.

Slabs Serifs, as the name suggests, are kinda blocky. The stroke widths are generally very solid and consistent, and the actual serifs (or ‘feet’) are... y’know. Fat blocks. It makes these typefaces feel more casual, more down-to-earth, approachable, and perhaps playful? A lil rebellious, even?

So with that out of the way, here are some different types of Sans Serifs: (There’s a point to all of this, I swear.)

Unlike Humanist Serifs, Humanist Sans Serifs actually have the most contrast in their stroke widths. In the above image, this is most apparent on the lowercase ‘a’. Again, this feature makes humanist sans serifs easy on the eyes and optimal for paragraphs of text. Compared to other sans serifs, they tend to have a more casual and approachable personality.

Transitional Sans Serifs will have little to no stroke width contrast. They maintain their readability at small sizes, and their ‘voice’ is very neutral, which makes them easy to use in a wide variety of designs. There’s a reason Helvetica is the go-to for many a graphic designer: it, along with many other Grotesks/Gothics, almost never feels out of place. They’re the chameleons of fonts. They’re versatile. Invisible. Carbon-neutral.

Geometric Sans Serifs, as the name suggests, are typefaces whose letterforms are based on geometry. O's and C's that are (mostly) perfectly circular, V's, W's and M's with sharp, consistent angles. They generally have very consistent stroke widths, but the harsh angles make them poorly suited to paragraphs of text. They feel modern, technical, and stylish.

4. CHOOSING THE RIGHT FONT

(We are now arriving at the point.)

Here are some questions to ask yourself before choosing a font:

How much text do I have?

If you have a lot of text, you’ll want something that’s easy on the eyes for reading. Aim for things with mild stroke contrasts and favor things with a diagonal axis. Basically, you can’t go wrong with a humanist typeface here-- be it serif or sans serif.

Now, for graphics and gifs, you’ll probably have a lot of text almost... never. But if you’re ever designing something that does (like a magazine spread, or a brochure), it’s something to consider.

How much space do I have?

Let’s say you’re giffing a scene and you gotta cram a long caption onto a tiny 278px wide gif. You could just make the font size super tiny, sure. OR, you could look for a font with a narrow character width. A nice, robust type family will usually include Condensed or even Super and Ultra Condensed versions of the font, which will be much better suited to that purpose.

In these cases, you’ll probably want to avoid geometric sans serifs since those circular forms are very wide, relatively speaking. But some geometric type families (such as Futura) do have Condensed varieties:

How large or small does the text need to be? (or do I want it to be?)

When your text is large, you can kinda go nuts and do whatever without worrying about anything getting hard to read. But there are two things to consider when you’re using a small font size, be it out of necessity or For the Aesthetique™--

stroke width contrast: At small font sizes, typefaces with consistent stroke widths are going to maintain their readability best-- so steer clear of Modern/Didone serifs, and tread carefully around Transitional Serifs. If you’re itching to use a Serif, you’ll want to look for a humanist/traditional/old style one. If you’re super attached to a modern/didone serif for a design (as I often am) understand you’re gonna have to compromise a bit and use a larger font size for it.

For sans serifs, both Transitional and Modern types will have nice, solid strokes that won’t get lost at small sizes.

x-height: A typeface's x-height refers literally to the height of the lowercase 'x'. But in more practical terms, it's the ratio of the heights of lowercase vs uppercase letters. If you plan on using all caps, this won't matter much (if at all), but if you will be using lowercase letters, a typeface with a more generous x-height will be easier to read at small sizes than a typeface with a small one.

Generally, Transitional/Grotesk/Gothic Sans-serifs will have the most generous x-heights (for example, see Helvetica). But x-heights vary a lot even within subcategories of typefaces, so be mindful of them!

Speaking of all these metrics... one of the things that makes the Premium version of FontBase well worth my $3 a month? The Super Search feature:

I can just... highlight segments of those histogram chart things on the right to filter out fonts that don’t have the contrast, weight, character width, or x-height I’m looking for. Like magic. #blessed

What ‘voice’ do I want to project?

I mentioned earlier how different styles of typefaces have different ‘personalities’. If you’re not sure whether to go with a Humanist or a Transitional Serif, remember that humanist ones tend to feel more elegant, more classic, more intimate. That Transitional ones tend to feel more objective, more confident, more business-like. Which makes more sense for your design?

After you’ve narrowed down your options with the above considerations, then you can start to be really subjective. Follow your heart. Pick whichever one has that certain je ne sais quoi. Or the one that has the ‘Q’ with the coolest tail. The one that just makes you feel a certain kinda way. Because it’s art. It’s design. Have fun with it.

5. SOME OF MY PERSONAL FAVORITE FONTS

So... my taste in typefaces is pretty conservative. I don’t really use handwriting, script, or display fonts. When I do, I tend to use them just the one (1) time and forget about their existence immediately afterward. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Most of these are tried and true Classics you may have already heard of, and some of them might even be default fonts bundled with your operating system. If not, be very careful looking for them, because it would be a terrible, horrible shame if you were to get your hands on one of the many freely available bootlegs of some of these typefaces... :/

With all these lined up together, you can get a better sense of how varied the x-heights can be from one typeface to another. For a particularly stark example, see Mrs Eaves vs Playfair Display, or Montserrat vs Neutra Text.

SooOoOoOoo... that’s a wrap? I guess?

Congratulations 🎉 you now know way more than I’m guessing you wanted to about typography.

#tutorial #typography

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elizabethrobertajones · 6 years

Text

14x03 watching notes

Just finished watching and said, out loud and to no one: “Awww Jack.”

(This is not a spoiler, he’s just so sweet.)

Hallo, I am watching from bed despite having 3rd hand inherited a 2nd monitor over the weekend so theoretically my watching experience would be back to giant comfortable side-typing glory.

But comfy.

Easily accessible stuffed toys because Bobo Fucking Berens in Dabb era has made me cry more at this dumb show in the last couple of years than I cried in the previous ten.

Expectations: it's our Dean episode to make up for no Dean until now, and also Jody is there to see Sam's beard, and also Cas continues to be party!Cas, and Jack's shirts get darker and darker.

Side note: I think I was rushing out the door before I could talk about our lil Nougat of Denmark properly last episode where he was all, so we're killing my uncle then, and Cas was all D: D: D: D: D: who raised you. (Dean. Dean did. In this regard the boy is his father's son.) This, of course, is another Shakespearean irony than is being returned to Dean via Jack.

The point of this focus is very much to show Jack vs Cas mindsets on it when we're getting Dean returned to us, and I assume considerably more nuance is being added to the story. But for now, Jack being ready to kill his father to kill his uncle because his father was ready to kill him to kill the ghosts he saw of his enemies in Jack is more than enough of a pile of tragedy level angst to be working with.

I just need it to be clear that as far as I'm concerned, Jack is working in a completely different genre from EVERYONE ELSE around him, and the fact that it's the protagonist of a tragedy is fairly alarming, as it's a mindset that Sam, Dean and Cas have hurdled over since season 5/6 and though Dean still assumes he'll die bloody, he is at least capable of dreaming of a happy ending, and a lessening of the angst load has allowed that. Their personal stakes in the story are dwindling, in a sense, while Jack has showed up with like FOUR FATHERS and an evil uncle, which is so much potential family angst Shakey would have exploded. "Wait you can just addeth extra fathers thence addeth extra angst!?!?"

Yes my dude, yes.

*hits play* *Sam ruggedly cocks his pistol* You're stealing this whole shtick from Dean and I think it is time for the angst that you were the one dramatically cocking a gun and being the yes reductive heteronormative blah blah penis of the dynamic while Dean was not there to do it.

Oh no we immediately start with more Jack angst recap and aside from everything I just said I remembered that Bobo personally murdered me in 13x03 with the Jack n Sam stuff and here we are a year later.

Mr Stark I don't feel so good

THE BEARD EXCHANGE IS LITERALLY THE OPENING SCENE. BOBO I LOVE YOU. Thank you for breaking the tension and immediately drawing attention to how Sam has been busy and miserable. I think 14x01 set up well that every time he even had a moment to sigh his phone would ring again, and hence the beard appears as Sam eskews personal grooming and comfort in exchange for finding his brother. Jody is gonna draw attention to it at some point too because we have the promo shot of her nice peach fuzz-ing him, and I sincerely hope this is bookends to the episode and the next episode Sam is clean shaven with no comment except Jody prodded him in the face, and let me tell you only Bobo has me fantasising about the narrative framing of an episode like this.

God i'm a nerd

Anyway more seriously, this exchange coming out of the blue has a clear motive: Dean is up and about, still so freshly de-Michaeled he's in a waistcoat (and LORDY the only other scene he was in a waistcoat? 7x12's ending scene where Sam turns into such a moron in Jody's presence he's waving blushily at the door still AFTER SHE HAS GONE). Complaining about not being able to eat and sleep might be a sense of hyperbole to catch given the lack of elapsed time, but it also warns us that this might be how Dean reacts to being un-Michaeled. Or would he not, given he's up and about and snarking like his old self? How damaged will he be and how much can he repress into snark? He is playing off the very idea that this experience will have been damaging to his psyche and of course Michael did a ton of stuff which was expressly tuned to BE damaging to his psyche, then punched a mirror and shattered Dean's reflection for extra emphasis.

So all this question of how Dean is doing is loaded into the very opening line before he's even taken off his waistcoat, or of course, had enough time to truly eat/sleep/develop massive tells of the psychological trauma he may or may not have taken.

Obviously the show wouldn't be the show if he were fine, so I'm taking it as a question posed.

Then of course it slides into Bro Banter to prove it's Dean, remind us JUST how much we missed this snarky genre savvy fucker, and to make Sammy smile.

Also we're mocking Jared for being friends with that one Duck Dynasty guy who Jared's fans insist is the least awful of the bunch and also who you end up hanging out with when you're most embedded in the Texan stardom scene rather than living in Hollywood or whatever.

(God imagine being famous and from Atlanta and sticking true to your roots and you end up with the Queer Eye guyses as your BFFs instead)

Listen Bobo showed his socialist party membership card on twitter, he has no fucks to give about waving his politics around and I love him.

"If you're going to ask if I'm okay, you don't have to" (I am making fun of your beard, what more do I have to give you, bro?)

Buddy, I have been watching your face for over a decade and you have the sad tired pink eyelids of a Dean who is both tired and miserable.

Oh NO Dean walks into the main room expecting his comfy quiet library and war room full of 3 trusted family faces, and finds the bustle of Boss Sam's operation. The upcoming noise of these people before he turns the corner is an immediate warning that we should have expected this as dramatic irony for Dean's comfort levels from the start, and now he's back, well.

Panicked eyes.

He needs quiet recovery with his peeps, not alarming sudden change. A rug pull immediately after possession is a terrible thing to deal with. I've been wondering if this is a full reverse of season 6 for Dean - from the trustability of the hunter compound to the fact he lives in it, to the Samuel running it. But the effect is the same. Dean comes back from quiet time off to a change he can't handle and Sam in a new position in a family/hunter heirarchy. In this case, not Samuel's soulless goon, but a fully bearded Boss Sam King Of Hell Sir who Runs Shit competently in a way we the viewer trust implictly as Sam having Done Well, and also that the AU peeps might be a bit rough or untrained in some ways but 100% reliable in that they really do have no ulterior motive and every reason to think of Sam as an AU Moses who popped up and walked them to another land of safety and comfort.

Like, Dean, welcome back, you have Hamlet, Moses and Mobby to deal with. Cas seems to be the same as you left him, though. If somehow, impossibly, squintier.

"Right, Chief told us"

GOD I MISSED JENSEN'S MICRO EXPRESSIONS

You know how Michael sucks? No micro expressions. Guy doesn't have an anxious bone in his body.

This little bundle of neuroses I have chosen to love is full on having a meltdown on the other hand.

"Dean? Is it really you?" "Hey kid"

HUG. THE. BOY.

I suppose this is better than last year when he had a hug from a shapeshifter and had to wait to episode 6 for a hug from his father, but REALLY this season has been tormenting me with how bad Jack feels and even a hug from his gramgram isn't enough to satisfy how he should have been hugged by Sam, Cas and now Dean already this season.

We're only on epiode 3 and he's already got more hugs than he had this point last year. Deep breaths, Lizzy

Children need a lot of cuddles to affect their development into sensitive people okay? Dean got a lot of hugs up to age 4 and Sam basically did not, and he's an awkward moose and Dean is snuggly. I want Nougat to have the same development into a sensitive lad because he has EIGHTEEN FUCKING PARENTS AND NONE OF THEM HUG HIM

CAS HEARD 'DEAN' FROM ACROSS THE BUNKER, ARRIVES IN A BLUR

GOOD NOUGAT, HUG DEAN.

But like, dude, Cas just showed up at a run and made the gooiest eyes at Dean who made them back, and now you're officially cockblocking, so naff off, kid

I watched with prayer hands and Cas just got gooier and Dean got sulky he didn't get a Cas hug and this is officially the worst. Bobo, you let me down, my guy.

I mean no, Cas's gooey eyes were

...

Cas doesn't do gooey eyes. He squints. Squintily.

Who is this guy

Lol Mobby aren't in the episode because they stayed back to clean up - Sam gets stammery to Jack. Is he scared to imply they're maybe banging because he finds it weird but everyone else present is an even worse audience to announce this to for one reason or another (historically coped much better with the concept of dad sex when discovering adam and also didn't drive the car off the road into a ditch on finding out mary banged ketch), or is he trying to protect Jack from the concept of Michael leaving a pile o dead bodies for one reason or another, knowing Michael is his rage button?

He was the one who dealt with Jack trying to stay back in the AU to fight Mikey instead of just coming home.

"Speaking of clean up, I need a shower" *gestures vaguely* *Cas opens his mouth like why did I have a reaction image here? Do you want -* *closes mouth* *dean leaves*

Guys. You fucking suck. Go take a shower together and work things out.

"Still okay, I promise" *bisexual finger guns at Cas*

cut to: Cas squinting after Dean like "is he implying something"

"..."

"I really feel like he was trying to communicate something to me"

"..."

"I have no idea what Dean just hinted loudly to me twice in short succession and now that he has gone to shower I guess I will never know what he was attempting to communicate to me"

"Where's Nick?" "Hopefully not in this episode. Let's just say he needs some time because he's in a dark place and hope that's ALL we have to say about him"

Oh no. "Sam. Dean. How is he really?"

Cas has a one track mind.

But then we get the shot of Dean opening his door and they're still talking about him over the top of it, but it's that same shadowed shot of himself silhouetted in the doorway, the inner darkness represented by his room... Sam went into his and stripped himself of the tools in his pocket but before he could sleep, Jo called and set them all off again with the next lead.

Now Dean opens his door and turns on the light so we can see his inner self in a moment of peace and privacy, but essentially with a voice over about how he's super not okay.

Just how we left it. You can't even tell that for the last 2 episodes/3 weeks Cas has been coming in and snuggling your pillow every time he's not in a scene because where the fuck was he inbetween scenes in 14x02

God I have missed lingering shots of Dean's room, equating his inner space to his inner feelings. *paws lovingly at the shot* Dean's room all tidy and orderly and as he left it, yet feeling somehow very very empty and off-kilter in an unfamiliar way because he hasn't been here for so long.

It was all serious then guitar music started playing as Dean started stripping

and look

I saw the promo pics

you saw the promo pics

some person in the audience is like... why are we lingering on Dean getting undressed alone in his room while guitar music kicks up?

Is this what all that winking and finger gun action was about?

(Dean didn't wink but I took a lil break to chat with Mittens and the moment has evolved into him gurning at the door for like a minute trying to remind Cas that this means he joins him in the shower in 5)

"Fuck this shirt in particular"

I still think it was the audacity of wearing a bow tie that dragged Dean to the surface last episode

I love how Dean changes from this plain white t-shirt which is completely clean and shiny, into his normal dark dark brown shirt between scenes. I hope he got to shower. Whatever happened, this scar could have said "Ha ha ha I'm behind you", and he would have finished stripping down right to the skivvies then started fresh with his own boxerbriefs before freaking out and rushing to show the others.

But yeah, he's PISSED and embarrassed about Michael. You don't throw a guy's shirt on the floor like that unless you feel SERIOUSLY used, and here we end up with a creepy sort of STD metaphor, complete with the visual similarity to the clap: https://www.giantmicrobes.com/uk/products/clap.html

Bad fling, Dean?

Poker!witch gave Sam the clap in the episode which was totally not a metaphor about Sam getting the clap then beating poker!witch at his own game like nearly 20 episodes before he was possessed by Lucifer then beat him at his own game.

"Do the whole vulcan mind meld thing" Listen, James T Kirk, you can't just MAKE yourself one of the most iconic slash pairings of all time by comparing - wait

wait a minute

*Checks slash history books and sees them as a dictionary definition or two*

Anyway.

Dean's so eager for Cas to jump into his head. Just, like. Again. We all said it but immediately after that shirt throw? It REALLY emphasises that Dean sees Cas in this transcendant way to being used by an angel that got in his head. And left an STD mark on his arm. He can just immediately think, well, that sucked. But here's MY angel and I'm just gonna rev myself up and present my head for inspection and this isn't even a thing I'm concerned about. Hit me, big guy.

Oh come the fuck on Bobo.

I didn't have time to hit pause to have a heart attack about Cas putting his hand over The Scar, the one on the wrong shoulder, to get a clearer reception, because there's a HISTORY in scars, okay? They leave a mark and to the discerning poker and prodder like Cas that history can be read in the mark... And Cas sees... Michael being stabbed by a spear. Not just, like. Seeing Michael being stabbed by a spear, mind you. He sees it in a Bobo episode in a way wildly reminiscent of Patience seeing Claire/Kaia getting stabbed by a VERY SIMILAR LOOKING SPEAR and getting her Wayward introduction that way, when the whole Dreamhunter thing ended up being a massive Destiel parallel and Kaia getting stabbed already mirrored CAS getting stabbed by a spear (Michael's, natch) in 12x12, never mind the other stuff.

So Bobo has just built up a Destiel Dreamhunter sandwich, with Destiel nonsense either side, complete with bonus shoulder scar imagery, and a nice gooey dreamhunter centre.

Bobo, if you hadn't noticed, is really really really really reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally bitter he isn't off writing Wayward Sisters and hanging with his girls.

There's still a bunch of stuff to add up here, about why and who and how it all connects, which would involve dragging in these other spear-y episodes to assemble the full picture, so I'm just gonna hit play now I'm recovered from the shock :P

Oh dude it was a hooded figure who even LOOKED like bad Kaia and tbh at this point I'd say maybe even was?

Like, how many pronged spears are out there anyway and Jody's dealing with it so is it local? Did Michael pop up on Kaia like hey so you and I are both from alternate universes, what do you wa - OW FUCK JESUS FUKKIN CHRIST -

"Dean, who was that?"

Dean recognised her, and Cas was mind-melded enough with him to know that Dean did... Good grief I can not handle Dean and Cas existing on an emotional plane.

It's enough to mean they're the ones who call Jody with a tip off for HER rather than months of them asking her to help THEM.

Introducing us back to the Wayward world - South Dakota mug, and a text that Claire is a little angel who has been training her gals and even did the laundry.

I'm so happy

Eyebrow raise

God, Kim Rhodes is the most beautiful woman on the whole show and that's saying something considering, like. Ruthie. Lisa Berry. Something about the way she uses her face is so full of intelligence and humour that I am HELPLESS in her presence

God damn I want that fabled Girls' Night episode. Billie comes along too on a night off.

Rowena calls her up for chats sometimes these days, they're actually really good pals.

Sam you fucking moron you can't even finish a sentence in her presence. Just slap Dean on his WOUNDED arm and throw the ball to him.

Everyone leaning over the phone... This is the closest Cas has ever come to Jody.

"Jody, that's the good news."

Jody recognises that gravelly voice and snaps to holyshitanangel attention. "What's up?"

The implicit thing here is that Cas and Jody know each others' voices and are on at least chatting acquaintance. I would like to think they're invited over for beer at the same time but we have no proof..................... yet. This is Bobo on a "fuck you" rampage so I'm just, like, gonna wait see.

Bad Kaia has been going around ripping heads off things. DAMN, GIRL.

Considering the placement of the pronging was ~random~, in the sense that she can meat fork you anywhere, that means the placement of it on the meat of Dean's arm where the handprint once was on the other is even MORE significant in a metaphorical sense, of writing about "the scar" in the way of giving it a mystical property tied into the wider framework of all these relationships and events at once. The amount piled onto a simple stabbing is unbelievable, and the use of the scar as the vector for all this is definitely the byline of the episode given the title and all. It's brought Kaia back to us, given Jody the clue she needs.

And more dramatic irony that Claire was just asking to help, and Jody was like DEFINITELY HUMAN, SO ALL MINE. HAHAHA. And now we know, no, it's not all "human", it's bad!Kaia and that makes her CLAIRE'S.

I keep stopping to seal clap

it's 7:20am

Cas is packing up to leave with them!!!

And Jack looms blurrily into the background in his darkest t-shirt yet. And he's been RAPIDLY cycling through them.

In a sense this is good laundry practice, in order that you have a full load of lights followed by a full load of darks.

Metaphorically, however, this is BAD.

Jack sounds pissed they're all wearing jackets and packing bags, and he's wandering around in an over-sized dark grey t-shirt (one of Dean's? AUBobby's? It doesn't look like his standard fare which fits his body, this makes him look SMOL), with no idea we were off to kill the wizard.

Let's be charitable and say he wants to meet Jody and hang out with Kaia again.

But more likely Bobo is once again messing with Jack's inherent darkness in his presentation, especially as right now, once again while Jack is being The Sweetest Little Cookie, meeting his grandparents for ice tea and looking through the family photo album with misty eyes, he is ALSO Prince Nougat of Denmark and this is causing some serious darkness slippage because, well, revenge. Revenge is bad, kiddo. Don't need a ghost of your dead father (hey Dean's back) to tell you that.

The accusatory tone is enough to warn us that Jack's not doing so well and I'm going to assume drags Cas away from a mission with Dean followed by cooldown eating pizza and watching flicks with the girls.

"Kaia's killer is in Sioux Falls" Buddy. "He, she or it can hurt Michael" BUDDY.

I suppose they're bringing Cas because Bad Kaia kicked their asses and they assume Cas is the same height as her pet/metaphor for Kaia's inner fucked-up-ness so he can probably fight it??

"Michael's my enemy too! I fought him. For MONTHS." JACK sweetie. You can't just go around like, having an enemy list. And comparing it with your collective fathers' list.

The line about bringing Kaia into it and being responsible for what happened to her is good, though. Jack's got a social consciousness and that is lovely because he keeps doubting his goodness but when it comes down to it he wants to meet his grandparents and feels bad that Kaia got dragged into things and killed.

Of course, not realising this is Bad Kaia, they're all off to get MORE revenge on that thing that killed her.

Aw, Dean, no, don't point out how smol he is. He's wearing a huge baggy shirt to emphasise it already.

"I didn't - I didn't MEAN to be a dick" Whoops. Well, you were. You also missed the part where Jack went from smol precious child to angsty teen.

Fun fact: Hamlet was supposed to be like 18 or whatever, but because a famous actor wanted the lead role but was like, idk, 50, Shakey bumped up Hamlet's age a lil so he could get away with it, making him more of, like, a giant manbaby who is still functionally a teen in all ways except he keeps getting portrayed by middle aged men.

So, of course, we have our one and a half year old Nougat who is a 29 year old actor now getting into his terrible teens, and if that isn't the funnest nugget of trivia...

... then you are not as much of a nerd as I am about irony, coincidence, and neat overlaps of thingies.

Point is: get me a version of Hamlet where the other expected actors are adults of course, but Horatio and Hammy and his squad are dumb teens.

Lol Bobo just randomly introduces a cool lady hunter who is dragging a random victim of a hex down into the bunker to be healed by an angel. That poor girl is going to have a story to tell.

A lot just happened in a few seconds but at least Jack, who has stormed off for his nth teenage sulk of the season, now has a Cas trapped in the Bunker with him.

Dean n Sam gonna get their asses kicked by Bad Kaia

honestly is this just a ploy not to keep Cas where Jack is, but to keep Misha away from stunt fighting?

Anyway Dean communicates most of the above to Cas silently, and tells him that he should stay with Jack and also heal this girl and they have the most married eye conversation about what needs to be done, which is wonderful that they've been having these silent conversations all Dabb era but this is definitely the wordiest so far. I mean one of their more recent was just "Dean I can hear that cowboy music in your head" "what cowboy music?"

DEAN DOESN'T EVEN LOOK THRILLED TO BE DRIVING BABY AGAIN.

Sam mostly looks concerned he's hitting 80mph

I don't know anything about American speed limits but this is an alarming speed to me because in the UK 70 is usually like, the Most, and we don't have enough long straight roads that when there's no speed limit it's ever really recommended to go super fast because you will flip your car and die because all our roads are one and a half car length wide and extremely wiggly. And our motorways are congested enough you're more likely to be in a traffic jam than top speed anyway :P

I love that Dean measures people by their favourite Spice Girl. Hey Dean the 90s called, they want their pop culture relevance back.

You gay icon you.

(I'm reminded of 12x07 and Bobo and a similar conversation where Dean listed off all his manly manly historical faves)

Dean thinks Cas can handle it back home :')

"Something huge happened and you won't really talk about it!"

Okay Sam, he's traumatised and that's surface text.

You do realise the entire massive subtext is his repression and yet another metaphor for some huge queer experience and that this is the same conversation as 10x04 when he was grumbling into his chin about being embarrassed about what he did with Crowley? You realise that right?

Stop poking him about it, he'll talk when he's ready to open up. In the mean time he's feeling used and ashamed that this fling didn't go as planned after the whole first flirtation with waving his wings around and killing Lucifer where it all seemed fun to embrace his ~true self~ and have a crack at being a Flaming Michael Sword.

Also of course, we might just take him on his word that he really does NOT remember most of everything that happened because if he was truly repressing that much he wouldn't have been so gung ho for Cas to read his mind earlier but this mood pre-dates that so even if he remembered everything when Cas poked his brain, which seems unlikely as Cas saw it too, the wider sulk about his Clap Scar is more than just this.

It's a common experience, though, that Dean is repressed and moody, and Sam barrels in there trying to make him talk about it before he's ready, so the pressing is in character, regardless, that Sam doesn't trust that Dean is telling the whole truth and that there's some huge secret he's holding back.

The best part of queer subtext is that whether there is one or not it works - if there isn't, it's a metaphor for the obvious. If there is, same as above but the metaphor is concretely attached to whatever Dean is not telling Sam, and that in turn then becomes a part of the queer subtext, offered up on a platter to tell us more about how Dean is handling his post-possession shame of being, essentially, roofied after thinking he'd agreed to a consensual fling with a dude on his terms of entry and no strings attached, no walk of shame like he did when he was undressing earlier.

Poor guy can not catch a break. Shoulda hooked up with Aaron when you had the chance so your first time having a dude in you wasn't such a big deal, but just a nice booty call to keep in your phonebook. Now it's all Crowley this, Michael that...

"We need to deal with it." "Okay, I'm literally going EIGHTY to deal with it"

Dean, that's.

that's not therapy

"How can I be running from something when I'm RACING towards it" "I don't know, it's kinda your thing"

Sammy boy you have been trapped in the same car as Dean for way too long. Your analysis is getting deep. Deep deep cuts. Leave him alone.

I mean this is a guy who dealt with a gay panic by hooking up with Crowley and singing karaoke for him so.

"I just *need* you to talk to me. Slow down."

Oh SAM you said a good and interesting combo of words there. Dean, go 70 instead of 80, give us some time to feel this out because I've been FREAKED and, for you, you got a time skip but I lived it all real time and it SUCKED, and I'm hurt too by this. Reminder: our family does not do well with LOSING each other, and this is every conversation we've ever had post-thinking that happened, and I did things responsibly and grew a beard and became Boss of a bunch of peeps and also King of Hell but we'll talk about that later... Like, slow down. I have my issues too. There's 2 of us in this car and you can't go 80 and time skip to the end of this conversation either. Not when I have 3 weeks of angst packed into it.

Also: classic Sam projection. Trying to get Dean to open up because HE has pain he wants to air, instead of just bringing up how he felt, he tries to get Dean to open up, and when this continues, as always, not to be how Dean deals with things, Sam gets upset because it never gives him the opening to talk about his shit until it's an argument...

You could have just started the convo, sorry about the beard, I really mean it when I say I haven't had a moment to myself for 3 weeks, it's been HELL and funny I should mention Hell, er, did you know you can kinda just declare yourself king these days... heh

At least he's using racing metaphors about wanting to catch up and also, like, catch up

Dean responds to the sport metaphors

Dean is like nah call Jody we're almost there. I skipped ahead.

Look, I'm delivering you to your boo, what more do you want?

Jody smiles at the sight of them in a way which is almost as revolting as Cas smiling at seeing Dean again

Hugs!

Send Jody to the Bunker to HUG OUR BOY

"How'd you do it?" "What, me vs some assbag archangel? Who would you pick?" "You, every time."

And this, guys, is how Jody is never, ever patched into their angst, because they present a narrative where Dean just kinda chucked off Mikey and sent him packing and it's all cool and he's a hero.

Jody has at multiple points threatened to beat Dean into submission in order to hear a true version of how he's doing and he has so far not given in and sat at her kitchen table with a box of tissues to sob through his crap, but I hold out eternal hope like the fool I am.

Anyway it's also telling RIGHT AFTER that last conversation where Sam was probing Dean so intensely, that this is the version of "I'm fine" that Dean is going with, and even though Sam KNOWS there's more to it, this is the wall Dean is projecting, even to him. Even when he knows Dean is freaked by it and doesn't know all the details.

Jody goes up like 18 pitches "Heeey I liiIIIiiike it!" she squeaks, forcefully tweaking Sam's beard because "nice peach fuzz" is too understated both for Jody and the volume of facial hair Sam has produced without comment until Dean came back and Jody showed up.

Dean has never been so offended in his life

*Jody continues giggling to herself while Sam desperately looks for a normal conversation*

AHAHA "I haven't been home since I talked to her........... I may be avoiding her"

Yeaaaah, bringing up that it's not just a normal human beheading and weird stab mark, but ALSO a KAIA-RELATED ONE maaay be... too much.

i'm going to be honest I've been so thrilled about everything I forgot to check what cast is flashing up on the screen

Anyway there is very much a subtext to Jody's avoidance of telling Claire what's going on that she knows how much she loved Kaia and how much of an issue this is - even if it's gonna be for revenge, because they don't know it's Bad Kaia - this is something where Claire's feelings make a MESS.

Bobo gets in Sam's serial killer thing, Dean is staring into the void like am I still even here or am I in hell. Is this a hell that Michael conjured. Mikey. Hey. Mikey. I figured it out. We're done here. Let's go back to regular torture. Michael. This is the bad place. Michael.

Dean stomps off into the woods because waiting for daybreak means being stuck in the same room as Jody and Sam flirting for a few hours.

Jody firmly pokes Sam in the chest with a map.

Sam.

A raven caws in the background, and Jack is wearing layers, the darkest shirt yet, a thick corduroy jacket in the style of early Sam, and is packing a bag.

He wrote a note and his handwriting is as disgustingly adorable as I thought it might be.

Alex wrote "Jack" with a cutesy backwards K in an autograph for someone who requested it at a con and I thought that was a cute detail but not how Jack would write and the real story - and I assume like with others they made him write it in character - is much more nuanced. His letters are competently shaped like he knows exactly how they should be, but shakily written, like he's not used to holding a pen, because, well, he isn't. He's not developed the muscle memory for it, just as he hasn't for fighting and all the other stuff, because in may ways he IS still a smol toddler with no life skills. His capital letters are huge and precise, like he knows he has to write them big, but disproportionate - putting so much emphasis on the titles of the people around him, the capital letters a metaphor for their influence on him. There's something clearly unconfident about writing and yet for all that obviously written by someone intelligent enough not to make basic errors of backwards letters and other things. He knows exactly how he is SUPPOSED to do it, but the execution is shakey, and disproportionate and generally looks unschooled and painfully revealing of his entire state of being.

Is this the scene where Bobo said out loud to an empty room, awww Jack.

I've been dreading that since the hiatus.

Maybe I should dig up that post and use it as the title for this one.

Triss is gonna die, Jack stopped by the stairs up out the Bunker in the war room, heard and saw Cas moving around, then in a fit of conscience or missing him already or something, stopped by to open the door and look in.

They have DEFINITELY expanded the Bunker set, in the sense that they've attached extra rooms to it or Wanek has sat down and made some parts more standardised, because they've shown off the corridor connections in every episode so far, and in this one we're seeing a never-seen-before connection which actually explains what is behind that window and how it fits. I mean, I'm pretty sure we've seen this particular room a few times, window and all, but never actual connections which show connected sets, so much as scenes starting or stopping there with no transition.

"She's been enchanted" "Like sleeping beauty" Jack says with awe "Awwwwwwwwwww" Lizzy says with awww

I honestly can't tell which moment Bobo said "Aw Jack" out loud about because we're getting such a series of them

Anyway, Hamlet, the great procrastinator, is distracted away from his mission to kill his uncle.

Not sure about the overlap of hearing things from the other side of a wall but I mean at least he's not going around stabbing people so

Jack also seeing all the important work they do for other people, even randos, and Cas getting involved in huntery business, distracted from emotionally nurturing him because of sleeping beauty there, and phoning rowena, doing the work to unknot a spell...

If we get Cas doing spellwork I'm gonna die, it's been Too Long.

Cas [squinting]: "Are you going somewhere?" Sleeping Beauty: "ooooww" Jack: "No."

Hon, that was so suspicious you are lucky this is Cas and not one of your other dads.

But. Aww Jack to an empty room.

"If I get a vote I'm team stick together" Jody remembers 9x19

Also Sam remembers bad!Kaia kicking their butts. They're on her natural territory

she is the Predator.

Sam keeps LOOKING at Jodio.

Look, I just

Cas keeps looking at Dean, Dean keeps looking at Cas

Jam won't stop looking at each other

That head is a Warning.

Come no further, mortals

I think Bad Kaia lives here

Vampires.

they really need to figure out how to biologically identify them except for teeth because they really come up against a lot of dead ones

"I brought tissue samples home, Alex ran them underneath the microscope"

Look, girls supporting girls, I knew what they needed to do before they did it lol

Dean: I was stabbed here

YAY I went frame by frame before the reveal and that is Kaia's face in there, the hood less spooky than before and more open to reveal her

Dean: bout to be stabbed here again

Dean finally has the moves to take on Bad Kaia after a season or two with the new stunt guy

but then her hood falls back and he's STUNNED

Now everyone is stunned

I think they've been using the Wayward Sisters Bad Place soundtrack for this but I'd have to check

the music is so very different and I'm not good at music ear thing

Cas: *eye twitches violently* Me: Cas why are you having trouble with this line Cas: "... marked.................... 'gross stuff'"

Cas, internally: Why did I marry into this family

Future MoLHunter 100 years later: "Man, this place is sweet, but the filing system is balls to the walls." Other Future MoLHunter: "Babe, you did not read the Winchester Gospels before your initiation?" F MoLHunter: "There is a drawer here marked 'hands of god' and the only thing in there is a pair of chopsticks and a ladel" OF MoL Hunter: Okay I will give you that. -

Me out loud to an empty room: aww Jack

He's so concerned about Sleeping Beauty, and he can't do anything about it but he's curious.

Maybe he CAN fix her and this is how he gets a lil power back.

I hope so because awww Jack being so concerned about her.

This is a Good Procrastination From Revenge

Hamlet, take fucking notes

"Is that your dad?" "One of them, yes." Aw Jack

Aw Bobo

Jack's flipping around on family - he's accused them of talking about nick/Lucifer as his father, he's disowned everyone but grampa and grammy Kline, and now he's fondly thinking of his three hero dads

He's really struggling to work out his place and what sort of family set up he belongs to and to be fair, he has so many fucking options and all of them are somewhat disastrous or tragic, so he's 100% in his right to be fuckin confused.

On the other hand Sleepy Beauty has no context so she's gonna assume Cas is gay married with a kid Jack's age and that's like, not untrue.

"My mom... but she probably hates me" "Why?" Jack says, horrified at the entire concept that a mom could hate a child, because, well, Kelly's love was COSMIC for him "because I left," she anvils

"I was sick of being treated like a kid, and i thought I could make it on my own" Oh boy. She's just expositioning how Jack feels and immediately telling him if he leaves he'll fall in with a witch, who curses her with an AGING spell which will make her old before her time.

I feel like there is probably... a metaphor........... in here...............

Also a reverse of Dean's aged down curse, because the girl and her other victims were hansel and greteled.

I had a sudden whim a couple of nights ago to see aged down Dean and current Jack hang out. Bring back Dylan Everett to go play basketball with Jack out on the front step.

"Gave us all nice things," she says, clutching at a HUGE EVIL EMERALD PENDANT AROUND HER NECK

Jack.................................

Is that cursed

"She said having us there kept her young" She put her own age into that locket

dang I should get a bonus point for bringing up poker!witch before he was relevant

I'm always curious about the show's implications about witches maintaining their youth by sucking it from others, because almost every witch we've met who had a focus on age was doing it for that reason, whether it was eating children or playing poker.

And we have a 300 year old witch chilling around who we don't know anything about when it comes to immortality, except that she has it and she bestowed it on Oskar so it's clearly a spell she can do rather than an inherent trait of reaching a certain level of magic practitionery.

"Then it started taking me too. Even faster than the others!" yeah because she killed the witch so she probably has to suck poor sleeping beauty dry in order to regenerate and skulk away and start over somewhere

PS: Sleeping Beauty is really doing an amazing performance here. I 100% am in Jack's shoes of being horrified and wanting to protect her

"Cas is going to fix this. I promise" Sweetie! Have you ever called him Cas rather than Castiel before? It seems weird. He even wrote castiel on the letter

Sam deducts Michael's entire plan off the clue that Alex couldn't detect the vamps in her sciencing, and based on having been attacked by super werewolves.

But why is Michael cleaning up these people?

Unless he's taking threats off the board who would be too cool and powerful and may challenge him...

"Doesn't change the plan" "but Dean - "

Dean walks off

Dean has no time for Sam suggesting maybe this is something awful because of Michael that Dean might know about or else be weirdly intimately connected to because of his weird Michael-based condition.

We have no clue what's going on and Sam doesn't like that and Dean's powering through and Jody is hovering in the background like WOW I can see why you leave me out of all your dumb main plot angst normally. Never done me one of these MAIN PLOT ones before. Can we go back to normal MotW where you're low key angsting in the subtext about whatever currently ails you?

Jody slaps Sam on the lower back

lower, babe. Lower.

Cas does magic, boom purple smoke!

Aw no she's still withered.

Jack, take her necklace off and smash it

because you did the good work of a hunter and talked to her and through being kind discovered what was wrong with her

Jody has a phone provider that gets her signal in the wilderness

"Claire's been doing so good, but anything connected to Kaia... she's a powder keg"

"FIRST LOVE STRIKES QUICK, AND TO LOSE IT LIKE THAT"

okay no Jody didn't shout it, but Bobo did.

ILY Bobo

I'm like 0% surprised but I am guessing other people who had been less trusting are throwing a complete party to have it textually confirmed like that. I felt like Bobo's intent especially when he went on the record in that stream AND he had been saying already that he shipped it right after Wayward Sisters, that he never ever meant to be coy about Dreamhunter, and confirming that Claire was madly in love with Kaia was a top priority on his fuck you list since he didn't get to write the show he wanted in order to work on this naturally.

Sam nods like fair enough, happened to me with Jess, but uh wow okay no i did not - yeah okay yeah

"He's not ready for this case" "maybe he needs it"

Jam jam jam jam

I mean

Yeah mature adults discussing issues together and working out how they feel about Dean rage-hunting Bad Kaia

hey look it's that one cabin that has been in like every episode of the show in the same way that one little stoney valley was in every episode of BBC Merlin

Has she lost her spear??

Dean, that was RUDE, you're so horrible to all these versions of Kaia

That zoom up on his face is one of the top 10 Dean Is Not Okay zooms of the show

So not like "bad cas" or "new bobby" are Dean's definitions for AU peeps - no word on what Charlie is to him, maybe because AU Charlie is a real issue for him to define as he couldn't help treating her like his Charlie.

But Bad Kaia insists that she is to Kaia what she is to me - they're joined in a different way. A way that back in Wayward Sisters was implied to be a dreamwalking connection of a very different sort, something anchoring our Kaia to the bad place and their connection was... weird.

"That was an accident. I was trying to kill the blonde" She's remorseful about killing Kaia but upsets them even more by reminding them that she was out for Claire instead.

How about we kill no one, bad Kaia

Oh no, Michael keeps sending monsters after her... Now she sounds like the original Kaia just because she's got "always more" things out for her. I suppose Michael learned of her through Dean, found her, and either wants to stop her or capture her because she has universe-crossing dreamwalking abilities, and woooow that will be useful to him.

NOOO SLEEPING BEAUTY DIED. THIS IS REALLY BAD. JACK COULDN'T SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE HEEEEEEEEEER

waaaaaaaaaah

Stop fuelling Nougat having an interesting dark arc about his entire self and purpose and let him just hang around the bunker and watch TV and eat nougat and be hugged. Can we not just have a son who is okay and nothing is wrong with him?

Oh no even the random hunter (did I really catch her name as Brunhilda or did I imagine that?) is crying at Jack crying over Sleeping Beauty dying. Cas is contractually obliged not to cry or do complicated stunts but he looks miserable too.

Oh, jack figured out the pendant?

But can they actually save Sleeping Beauty?

Sam as usual getting in before I can - "Break her!??!?"

don't you dare hurt Kaia any more, she's already told you what she knows, Michael hurt her, you punched her out with the same face and then threatened her a bunch. She might be a snarky monster-hunting feral woodland weirdo but she's still Kaia-like and you have a history of being completely horrible to Kaia-like girls when you're in a bad place.

And it turns out Dean just wants the spear that pronged him, to figure out what it did and how to hurt Michael with it. To go on his own revenge mission that he denied Jack because, guys, we are now in competition for who gets to have the angsty anti-Michael revenge mission. Jack and Dean literally competing to be most angsty about it.

Jack is being considerably more productive even if Dean solved the Kaia mystery.

But yeah. Revenge sucks you guys.

Dean you need to eat a snickers and take a rest.

smiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk because fuck you Dean for always hurting me and the other Kaia who is probably also me.

Jack is being much smarter.

The smartest cookie.

Who needs powers when you are a good cookie.

"She wasn't cursed. This was."

GOOD COOKIE.

I vote Jack gets to kill Michael. Dean has lost his Michael killing rights.

"You're no different from him. Threats, violence, anything to get what you want." "I am nothing like him."

Hon.

"Yeah you are. And you always have been."

I don't know if Kaia knows or if she's pulling a gambit, but acting like a mystic know it all and reading Dean stone cold in a villain way sure did take some of his rage away into that good old Dean self-loathing and fear, which was one heck of a good chess move regardless of if she can magically read him or not.

No I don't think Dean is these things but Michael is a means of exploring Dean's "blunt little weapon" sort of mindset that he has suffered from because of John's upbringing all this time, and Michael emotionally mauling Dean to the point of being a non-functioning worst version of himself who threatens Kaia (AGAIN) really is an on the nose way to display the sort of trauma that Michael tore into his psyche.

Crap I need to go to yoga, but this is too good to rush so even though I don't have much left, I will be back for proper notes in a bit!

Him smash magic glowy thing with hammer

just like i told myboy to do!

Cas's hair is ridiculously spiky.

"What happened?"

YOU MADE NOUGAT FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED

Aww jack to an empty room

Sam I have been gone for hours. How have you not tackled Dean to the floor and apologised to Bad Kaia

"I saw what you did to her, when you got angry. You shoved your gun in her face." To be fair, at the time Dean had also been emotionally mauled by the feels bear because Jack gave him a vision of Mary being tortured in Hell-equivalent and he was also fucked up beyond belief.

Kaias really are seeing the worst side of him all the time.

Bobo likes breaking Dean

That was enough to make Dean let go

Also to ask a really good question about how she knows!

I'm way more curious about Kaia than Dean yelling at her :P

Then she points out that he's angry and impatient because he's scared, like, duh, but sometimes he needs to be reminded that he can have "weak" emotions like that because he wants to be all tough and on the case and instead he's freaked out because Michael has messed him up completely. Like. Stay home. Help the boy with lore or something. Take a pyjama day.

Wheee full flashback!

The early evening light gives it a Bad Place colour tinge, which is awesome.

I can't believe Mikey shows up in his hat but not his jacket.

He says he's BORROWING Dean here. Hm.

Also, what I suspected, that he sensed her around and was just curious. Probably having a "what the fuck that's KAIA!?" from Dean inside him and being like Kaia huh? Time to chat.

Mikey do you literally not have your own version of that fuck off huge spear they stabbed Cas with a couple seasons ago, or do you just collect cool spears?

There's something more than usually terrifying about his face in this conversation.

And he now says there's a war coming and thinks something weird like Bad Kaia might appreciate being on his side.

Oh boy.

"Wild one" that's so cool

Michael really has some great lines for being a massive pillock

Omg he fight good too

AAH this is Kaia's memory and she's psychically implanting it in Dean's head

"Stop!" he says, clearly not enjoying watching himself beat up Bad Kaia and, like, realising exactly how awful it looks to do this when he has to watch himself from the outside and for all we know feel her pain too.

Of course Dean being desperate to get the spear to fight Michael could come across with a blur of ambiguity of Michael being desperate still to have it, whether to stop Kaia using it or because he just really wanted it and doesn't like being told no.

The concept that Michael just disappeared from Dean still lingers.

So many fights with a whole bunch of people this season. Maybe just because there's so many friggin characters

"Now you're in trouble" *Bad Kaia literally leaps through a window to avoid dealing with this* I love her

NICE STAB

thanks for saving Jody

Well that was quick

Also you're badass and terrifying and I think Claire might fall in love with you too >.>

"I'm used to it" Oh babe.

She literally raised herself in a terrifying doomy forest so

I mean at least this world has dry crackers and beans. SCORE

Jody has got a LOT of thinking to do about how to phrase any of this to Claire.

"So there's a feral Kaia living in the woods outside of town"

Awww Sam offering her a lift to the hospital

Bobo wants us to remember 9x06 and Dean having to tend Cas's broken hand maybe

Sam. Hug her right now. RIGHT NOW.

Nope Jody just looks really tormented

She's in a reverse Jack position - one mom to 3 hunters instead of one kid to 3 hunters :P

Hey look it is Jack and one of his fathers.

"Jules is off!" Hey look Sleeping Beauty was called Jules. Nerdylittleshit doesn't read these notes however so she will never know that I decided this character was named after her :P

Cas apologises for not being there for Jack, because it took this long to realise he's the father who's always at work while others have taken the stereotypically maternal role to Jack, Cas just gets to be the cool strong father who is usually dead, captured or just busy saving people and too busy for Jack as a result.

"It's okay," Jack says, sounding considerably more emotionally balanced about it than he had in 14x01 when everyone was neglecting him

"Today you PROVED that you have the mind of a hunter. And the heart of a hunter" Raised by the best, bitches!

Awwww Cas wants to be a hunter with Jack! They can get a terrible car and hit the road and do an easy case and bond as they go and eat crappy food at diners and

Jack develops Nephilim Flu in response to having a nice moment with a father because he's so unused to being treated with full attention.

Cas: *squints*

"Must be getting my first cold!"

I have a cold too Jack! Awww!!

Cas is going to make him some soup. This is too sweet. I don't even have words for any of this it's just gross. My teeth hurt.

Jack I swear to god if you stopped your revenge quest and it hurt you so bad inside you're about to cough up a lung I am going to LA to kick the writers' asses in person so if you dare be even the slightest bit consumptive

Oh thank god the scene changed before he coughed blood into his hand

Awww and then Dean admits Sam was right, while still being the one driving on the way back.

I wonder if they filmed these side by side. "Dean slow down" "Sam you were right"

"What Michael used me for" Ouch, hearing him say it like that... Sad sad thoughts.

He just wanted to skip ahead and have it all done because revenge makes you feel SO much better.

"Dean... you did what you had to do" Okay it's even worse hearing someone else justify it rather than hearing that phrase come out of someone's mouth. At least when they say it about themselves they're just in a bad place. I don't even know if this is a pavlovian response I'm having but really flipping it around to have Sam say it is a validation - Sam certainly thinks things are better off with a dead Lucifer and would have a favourable bias, because it got the job done and whatever Mikey is up to at least it's not Lucifer doing it. Because even if Lucifer were doing the exact same things it would just be intangibly but clearly worse.

"It wasn't a blink, being possessed."

Dean says to Sam, who has been possessed by an angel twice and when it was Gadreel, for almost as long as Dean was Michaeled

Dean's so freaked out because fighting the drowning sense of being possessed was so horrifying and made him feel so weak and useless and he didn't even win that fight, Michael just bailed and let him have it back. With the "I own you" hovering over him.

It certainly reeks of being haunted by a bad relationship. The sense the nasty abusive ex hovering around outside the place you work every night...

"And it's all on me, man" No it isn't, he got through because Lucifer told him how.

Well I mean if you wanna go cosmic consequences, yeah it is because Billie done told you not to go universe hopping and that's several billion dominoes you messed around with doing exactly that

But despite how I spent all of season 13 SHRIEKING at you not to do it while knowing full well you did, and how this is technically your cosmic hubris for doing that, I also don't actually blame you on a personal level, Dean. Just, like, so you know once I get back to the shrieking. Because ow you are very sad and in pain and if Nougat wasn't coming down with Nephilim Flu in the other scenes I'd basically rank you No 1 for wrapping in blankets and feeding soup.

You're still in the top 10. Jodi had a pretty bad day too :P

Oh COME ON JACK

*starts packing my bags for the ass kicking*

Aww Jack to an empty room

Um EXCUSE ME HOW MANY CONSUMPTIVE TISSUES HAVE YOU GONE THROUGH?

GO FIND YOUR FATHER RIGHT NOW

HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE WEEKS?

Well no wonder you've been in a panic to get Michael killed.

SHEESH.

Dean's back and he's gonna kick your ass because he remembers when Sam did this in the Trials and he is very very anti consumptive family members.

#Asks #rape mention cw #for thematic parallels to the whole Michael-ing thing #because consent drama and angels as per usual #14x03 #season 14 spoilers #my stuff

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denitr-ia · 8 years

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( update. )

||: aight about these changes that’ll be mostly effective immediate lets start with the important one, current classes Deni is taking. some have been dropped and replaced by new ones which means this hopefully opens new plot opportunities with at least few of you, and some will not be happening now ( wont be affecting anyone? here tbh as those muses have all dropped )-- I am open for past plots with the dropped courses though if ya wanna, js ;> or someone approaching him to ask why he dropped any particular one. SO

continued

Beginner’s magic

English

3D art

dropped

Smithing & armour maintenance *

Sociology

Swimming & diving **

new courses

Potions for beginners ( he’s definitely up to no good here... )

Archery

Drawing & Painting *

Modern Dance **

* smithing & armour maintenance he only ever picked cause it was something familiar in a new environment, comfort taken in already having knowledge of this one thing at least and being able to absorb more in as well-- which lead to him realizing it’s definitely not what he wants to actually do when trying to plan his future. this leads to him picking up drawing class bc that is also something that he’s already familiar with, to a lesser extent and kept as a hobby so far ( beside using it as another tool for visioning his smithing projects ) but he wants to try if there’s any spark there to go deeper into the arts.

** long story short he used to live with these guys back in Seoul before coming to Vighulir of which two were dancers and one thing led to another Deni spent a lot of time hanging at their dance studio and eventually that and a sum of many things led to him accepting jobs as a stripper. He might argue it’s for semi-professional self improvement but reason lies somewhere in between that and why he took swimming & diving classes-- bc it seemed like easy fun and exercise and allowed him access to the pools. also it certainly was a plus to see classmates in.. less clothes. yep. he’s that guy.

anyhooo I still don’t see him joining any clubs -- esp with this line up, nothing against it but not his scene uwu *nudges yall* bringing to life a new one or two would be fun ey? ofc with admin’s approval. slips a notion about deni and @kimhyolyn-ia orchestrating a kink club somewhere there

that out of the way the rest of this is gonna be more of informative pointers what’s happened recently in his life and the people who affected that, or are doing so currently, and also a small list about.. well, things to maybe take into consideration with interactions and also a reminder to the rest beside all new and those old members who I maybe haven’t gotten to bother with this muse yet but you’d want me to ouo

lets talk a bit about his relations in IA verse and how your muse is more than welcome to take note of them as it’s not really any weird rp magic, this is most in the knowledge of the population of the school, who care to observe others at least.

he’s got a new roomie again everyone should go poke him yes @yamaken-ia

with @rxelizabeth‘s departure he has more time for other people, but she will still be very much part of his canon and their friendship is still a thing and she will be mentioned here and there in threads. you can deal with that however you like, sometimes it’s ofc easier to pretend the muse was never there but at the very least if your muse has been aware of either of them it would make all the sense to note a missing presence, as he went a good 6 months basically attached to hip with her and I refuse to erase what was a huge part of his time in the academy

while he has people he considers sort of friends he will mostly be seen with @ravan-ia now, someone he considers one of his closest friends and may or may not latch onto now that.. rest have left.

it’s no secret him and @kimhyolyn-ia are banging and they own zero subtlety in public bc who needs that lmao feel free to mention that if you want I assure neither of us or the muses care

his schedule wont change much, or the locations deni generally hangs out in but a short summary to make everything easier for yall in regards of plotting and where to catch him at what times ( this isn’t fixed by any means, but more to give direction of his typical week, excluding visits to certain other parts of the academy grounds or trips to Vighulir )

Beside taking forever and after to get ready in the mornings, from waking up to the end of the school day not a whole lot of deviation can be made, tho he might skip sometimes, rarely, it happens. class projects are always a fun thing to thread winkwink.

lunch however is spend at wherever he feels the need to go, and with whoever happens to be closest so he can bother them.

library is a place he does spent some amount of time, either right after school to deal with homework or for research, or the last few hours of the day which usually are spent less looking for books than people.

randomly goes to the academy roof

the common room/roof garden in Sol Solis dorm is a location he absolutely still goes to ( used to hang there with Eliza ) even by himself or dragging someone else along. or trying to be sneaky during free nights to smoke weed there. or get drunk. a favourite pastime >_>

Ignis dorm is another he frequently spends not only hours of a day but some nights in as well, thanks to Ren’s hospitality ( as in Deni just pretends it’s half his room now cause damn have you seen that shit so much nicer that what he was left with )

do I even need to mention Luna dorm for obvious reasons. It’s not the bar. Though he’s an occasional fan of it yes.

This said he honestly doesn’t spend much any time at all at his own room in Aqua dorm, beside other reasons he’s simply always elsewhere with someone, or if he does happen to be present he’s very rarely alone.

This leads to; Deni works at the casino in Pidvone Misto during weeknights, monday--thursday but not always every night. Which means he is usually unavailable from late evening to 3am ish at what time you may catch him returning to the dorm. usually sober but, it’s not too uncommon to witness the opposite either

free nights are a roll of a dice but if he’s not catching up on sleep like he probably really should be, or got nothing else going on best believe he’s out there clubbing and drinking all that hard earned money into oblivion

about 90% of weekends he spends in Seoul, working at one of two clubs he gets assigned between. That covers his nights. days however are generally free beside the side job he’s got. Namely dealing and doing drug runs. Coincidentally for the same people who own the nightclubs. That’s a thing yes. though someone’s stirring their spoon in this mess soon stay tuned ;>

probably forgot something but this covers the essentials already so.

extra special section!

with the arrival of another two-seventy ( at last do you hear me crying tears of joy ) @kangjun-ia I do need to mention this lil thing about Deni still keeping it a tightly guarded secret what he actually is. As it stands, no one who absolutely should know ( to his knowledge ) is aware of this and he’d prefer to keep it that way. With the exception of our late-dropped Seline & Hongbin. and other exceptions to this rule being if your muse is some type of necromancer/exorcist OR is an ancient fart and you think they would be able to tell, then ya go ahead and make it so! I’m fine with it as well if your muse has been in contact with another one of their kind in the past and would be able to pick on that particular aura.

now, development will happen of course and beside having my own plans for this entire matter I’m always down for exploring that side of him but it’s a slow burn and I’m totally fine with that tbh. if Jun is going about telling people it would make sense that your muse starts seeing/sensing the connection as, well, we do have plotted they will be acquainted so ouo put my muse in an uncomfortable spot I dare you.

K I’M DONE THANK YOU CONTINUE ON YOUR DAY-- OR COME PLOT WITH ME EITHER WAY HAVE A LOVELY DAY~ ♥

#rest under read more bc jfc i ramble #and it's less relevant information anyway but I'll love you down if you do read it ;u;#( ―psa. )#( ―ifm. )

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imissmymarcjacobs · 4 years

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Ritual Vitamins Comprehensive Review

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Why I Was So Hesitant to Give Ritual Vitamins a Try

Honestly, my main issue with Ritual (versus other brands of supplements/vitamins/multivitamins) was undoubtedly the price. $30 USD for just one month of something that really only “works” invisibly is just not a really “fun” kind of purchase, if we’re being real here haha. I’d much rather spend that money each month on some nice skincare or makeup products that I can actually see working when I use them. However, I finally got serious about actually purchasing a Ritual Multivitamin subscription when 1. my doctor said I was anemic (likely because of my vegetarian diet that I’ve been following for the past few years) and that I should start taking an iron supplement, and 2. I found a Ritual promo code shared by someone I follow on Instagram for $15 off your first month. So, since an iron supplement was actually medically necessary for me (the regular Ritual multivitamins contain Iron as one of the ingredients, plus several more good things which I will talk more about later), and since $15 for a month’s worth of pills isn’t too much worse (I think) than what I’d pay for a decent iron supplement or multivitamin from a drugstore or something, I decided it finally made sense to at least give Ritual a try!!!

The Price

Is it Justified Solely by the Ritual’s Cute Packaging & Overall Brand Aesthetic? Or Actual Solid Reasoning Based on Quality and/or Performance?

Now let’s take a quick look at Amazon to see what some of their women’s multivitamin options are and what range of prices we’re dealing with there. Below is a pretty standard, seemingly decent (4.5 out of 5 stars with almost 300 total ratings) women’s multivitamin I found on Amazon. So, in comparison, yes, you can find a standard women’s multivitamin on Amazon (and likely at your local drugstores, as well) for a much more affordable price than what you would pay if you opted for a Ritual subscription, since the Amazon one (the one below that I’m using as an example) is about one-third of the price of the Ritual vitamins, and it comes with double the amount of product compared to the Ritual vitamins. (They both come with 60 pills, but you’re supposed to consume two Ritual vitamins daily whereas you’re only directed to take one pill daily when using the supplement pictured/linked below).

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A post shared by ⋒ gabrielle ⋒ (@35mmskin) on Apr 1, 2020 at 8:11am PDT

***Note for the rest of this post: From this point forward (in this post only, obvs), when I talk about the Ritual Multivitamins, I will be referring to the Ritual Essential for Women Multivitamin 18+ (Not the other two current options - Multivitamin 50+, Prenatal Multivitamin) unless otherwise stated. This is only because the two options I’m not really talking about in this post aren’t really relevant to me, personally, right now, and I don’t know much about the needs of the average 50+ person or the average pregnant or soon-to-be pregnant person, so I’m choosing not to speak on those things that I really don’t know much about, at least at this point of my life! However, if you have any specific questions that this post doesn’t answer and you think the 50+ Multivitamin or the Prenatal Multivitamin might be better-suited to your needs, please feel free to contact me with any questions or comments and I’ll do my best to share everything I do know! Thank you for understanding!!! 😇😇😇😇

So, is a subscription to Ritual Multivitamins actually worth it?

“Is it worth giving a try? Is it worth my money at the full monthly price? Is it worth it if I have a discount/promo code?” I’ll do my best to answer all of these questions in the paragraphs below (to the best of my ability, of course!)

Features/Perks of Ritual Multivitamins

‘No-Nausea Capsule Design’ - I absolutely love the fact that Ritual vitamins are specifically made/formulated/designed to be anti-nausea. I’m someone who struggles a LOT (I really mean a lotttttt!!!) with seemingly chronic stomach issues. I’ve been to a million doctors appointments about my stomach issues, but none have been able to figure out a cause or cure for me - yet! I try to remain hopeful but that doesn’t change the fact that this is something I’ve been struggling with for years. That said, a lot of foods, drinks, and medication (anything, really, that goes down my throat and into my stomach) upset my extremely sensitive and picky stomach, making me nauseous fairly frequently. Basically, this is just a long-winded way of saying that I’m already super happy with this claim by itself, because I haven’t noticed… honestly I don’t think I’ve noticed ANY other brand of vitamins/supplements that are specifically supposed to be anti-nausea. And I think it’s really great that Ritual actually thought about this as a concern for many people and made this anti-nausea multivitamin a reality!

‘Vegan Certified’ - Having been a vegetarian for the past 4 years, and a vegan the year before that, I can safely say that, in at least one area of my life, I intentionally go out of my way to avoid most animal products - and since almost 100% of those intentions are because of ethical reasons (factory farming = BAD, SCARY, HORRIBLE, TERRIFYING, DISGUSTING, AHFSDILJLFSD don’t get me started lol but look it up - not anything made by PETA tho tbh - and you’ll find a bunch of stuff that you’ll wish you never had to find out but you still should educate yourself because it’s what’s actually going on in soooo many places “behind the scenes” and it’s NOT okay!!!!), I’m loving the fact that Ritual vitamins are completely vegan! It can sometimes be difficult to find certain types of supplements or vitamins that are actually 100% vegan, especially gummies (don’t forget that gelatin is an animal product and therefore not vegetarian and therefore I try my best to avoid these), so this fact/feature is actually one of the big reasons I’d be alright with paying a higher price - in my head, I’m justifying it to myself by thinking, “It’s okay, the extra money isn’t going towards cute, fancy packaging that’ll end up just being thrown in the trash, but it’s also - at least somewhat - going towards the sourcing of all-vegan ingredients, which aren’t as common and likely harder or just plain ol’ more expensive to get for the company.

‘Gluten and Allergen Free’ - I don’t have any real food allergies (I suspect that I might be slightly lactose-intolerant, but it’s definitely nothing severe and I don’t think that even counts as an allergy haha), but I do really appreciate the fact that Ritual took this feature into consideration and was able to implement it without sacrificing the quality of the vitamins or anything like that. Just because it doesn’t necessarily apply to or affect me, personally, doesn’t mean I don’t wholeheartedly appreciate the intentions behind this and what it means for others who do struggle with these issues.

‘Non-GMO’ - To be blatantly honest with you, I actually don’t really know much about GMOs and wasn’t really taught much about them while I was in school at all - and if they did even mention it in school, you can bet your ass I don’t remember even a lil bit of it lol… 😬😭 So, for that reason only, I’m not going to really comment on this particular feature, but I still wanted to mention it in case you’re someone who does know a lot about this topic and is either strongly ‘pro-’ or ‘anti-’ GMO!

‘No Colorants or Synthetic Fillers’ - The fact that Ritual doesn’t use colorants or artificial fillers in their multivitamins is one of the other main reasons why I can better understand and justify (to myself and my wallet, lol) the higher cost of Ritual Vitamins compared to other brands who add random colorants and weird synthetic fillers all over the place while formulating the product, without regard to how this may affect the efficacy and/or absorption of the vitamins even when taken as directed. Since Ritual’s formula is backed by so much science and isn’t formulated with simply price in mind (“What can we do to make this formula as cheap for us - the company - to actually make, without making the product so absolutely terrible and ineffective that our customers won’t want to keep buying it?” - I feel like SOOOO many brands and companies ARE like this, without considering the quality of their product or the consumer’s needs/preferences at ALL, and it’s so refreshing to see a company like Ritual Vitamins doing pretty much the exact opposite and actually taking into account scientific research studies + their accompanying results, the preferences and needs of the consumer, and the quality, branding, and high standards of everything from their products they sell, to the quality + design of both their physical product packaging as well as their digital website and newsletter emails.), I feel so much more confident in the product I’m purchasing and have less guilt and remorse as a consumer (like I might experience if I were to purchase from a ‘cheap,’ almost ‘fast-fashion’ type of brand or company.

Delivered monthly - Ritual is, in fact, a subscription-only program/service - aka, you’ll either like that if you tend to enjoy subscriptions and paying a lil bit of money on a regular, ongoing basis; or, you’ll hate this fact if you’ve had bad experiences with subscription plans in the past - i.e. not being able to easily/conveniently cancel your plan, getting charged each month despite being told your subscription had been canceled, or if you just prefer paying a larger amount all at once rather than making smaller payments continuously over time. This one is all about preference! I, for one, typically prefer most things to not be in subscription-only format, but if the claim (below - #4 in this list) that Ritual offers ‘free, easy cancellation’ is true, then I wouldn’t necessarily be mad at the fact that it’s subscription only.

Free shipping, always - I do enjoy the fact that the Ritual website offers free shipping (even if you need to/choose to take a break from your subscription for a lil bit and then come back, and even if you need to/choose to rush your package!). Honestly, I don’t think there’s ANYONE who truly doesn’t like seeing the words ‘FREE SHIPPING’ on a product you’re thinking about ordering, so I think this point is definitely a perk for mostttt people!

Control your delivery date - Love this perk/feature of Ritual’s service as well! I also am a user (and LOVER!) of Curology, which is also subscription based, and I didn’t think I would even use this type of perk at all, but since I knew Curology offered it, I’ve actually used it a couple of times to order my next “monthly” product early (I was a lil over-eager and was applying wayyy too much product each night at first and ran out of my bottle that was supposed to last 2 months in like, a lil less than one month lollll 😂😋). I don’t know how likely it is that I’ll end up finishing my monthly bottle of pills too early like that, cause that doesn’t sound like a healthy use of the vitamins lol, but it’s still a nice perk that’s good to have juuuuust in case you find yourself wanting to needing to get your Ritual package on a different day than what was automatically scheduled for you!

Free, easy cancellation - As stated earlier (#1 in this list), the MOST irritating, frustrating thing about subscriptions of any kind is when there’s no easy or convenient way to cancel. Is there a button on your website that I can simply click on and once I confirm that I actually do need to cancel my subscription plan, it’s done? Simple as that? That’s what I prefer and that’s what I feel like should be the 'norm’ for subscription-based companies/brands/plans, but unfortunately that’s not the case. I haven’t needed to cancel my Ritual subscription yet, obviously, but I’m hopeful that this claim is actually true and not an exaggeration or even a lil white lie.

30-day guarantee - Ritual claims that it will give you a full refund (‘It’s on us.’) if you end up giving the product a try and ultimately being dissatisfied with it or just disliking it for whatever reason. Of course this is a great perk, since it (likely/hopefully) means that they really stand behind their product, service, and brand - they’re basically betting on the fact that you’ll fall in love with it after trying it, since if you do decide to utilize the 30-day guarantee, they obviously end up losing money. So, since they’re still in business and seem to be thriving, I have to assume that there’s at least a majority of people liking being a Ritual customer as opposed to those who were dissatisfied enough to seek out a refund. I might not be the best, or even average lol, at math, but betting on the fact that each customer will end up loving your product is a great way to build trust with your customers - even I feel like I put more trust into the company after reading this perk (and all the others!), so it’s great that they keep the customer in mind.

Build better habits - Ritual offers an Apple Watch app that you can use to help you stay on track with your daily Ritual Multivitamins, as well as to learn new tips and things provided by Ritual - all through their app for the Apple Watch!

Ritual is Created ‘For and By Women’

So, the CEO/Founder of Ritual is a woman, which makes me so happy and even more eager & willing to support the brand, but wait, there’s more! If you scroll down past the blurb from Katerina Schneider, you’ll get a glimpse at some of the rest of the Ritual team (and their credentials). After taking just a quick glance at the people shown on that page, I noticed two awesome things: 1. There’s at least one woman, if not more, in every single one of the career sections featured there. I am a huge supporter, of course, of women’s rights and the issue of equal pay, representation, etc., and knowing that Ritual has a number of women on their team is definitely a step in the right direction and something all brands need to learn from, honestly!

This post is getting… rather long haha so I think I’ll stop here and just make a ‘Part 2’ in addition to this post at a later date. Until then, I hope this provided you with some helpful and/or interesting information about Ritual, vitamins, multivitamins, and different features and/or perks that Ritual offers. I haven’t yet shared my complete final thoughts yet, because I think it would just make more sense to do so at the very end of Part 2, since I’ve decided to split this long post.

If you have any questions, whether they have anything to do with Ritual or not, please aaaalways feel free!!!!!!!!!!!! to contact me!!!!!!!!! either using the contact form linked in the navigation bar on this site, or by commenting using the comment form under this post, or by emailing me directly! All of these methods end up landing right in my email inbox in a few minutes, usually, so none of the methods are any faster or slower than the others. If you liked and/or appreciated this review, this website, or anything else I make/produce/share, pleaseeee please please let me know (again, using either of the methods listed above - your choice/preference!).

P.S. When Ritual Vitamins Comprehensive Review, Part 2 is eventually written, posted, and published for the whole internet to see, I will go ahead and link it here at the bottom of Part 1 of this lil Ritual “series.” 🥰

#Ritual Vitamins #Ritual #vitamins #multivitamins #for women #review #supplements

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roypstickney · 5 years

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5 Thank You Pages That Take Post-Conversion to the Next Level

If you’re like me, you say “please” and “thank you” automatically.

You’ve been saying these magic words since you were a kid. Because you were strongly motivated. Forget your manners, and you’d be humiliated in front of your family or strangers. Refuse altogether, and you’d be denied the obscure object of desire.

“What do we say?” “Pweese.” Boom—the chunky monkey is yours!

For today’s marketers, the problem with habitual politeness is that the delivery of a thank you message should never be a reflex. If a “thank you” rings hollow, the response from your customers will be equally rote.

“Thank You.” “You’re Welcome.” End of conversation.

See the problem here?

A thank you page is not the end of the transaction. It’s the next step in keeping people engaged with your brand or product, generating continued goodwill, further qualifying your leads—or even increasing order values or making more sales.

When it comes to your digital campaigns, how you say thank you should be an essential cornerstone of your post-conversion strategy. So let’s talk about a few ways you can approach creating better thank you pages. Along the way, we’ll explore some very effective thank you page examples created by Unbounce customers.

5 Tips from 5 Thank You Pages

1. Invite ‘Em for a Specific, Strategic Call 4. Win Them Over First, Then Make A Second Ask 2. Reveal the Next Steps 5. Keep ‘Em Engaged With Your Site 3. Reinforce Your Brand Personality

Thank You Tip #1: Invite ‘Em for a Specific, Strategic Call

The example below from Australia’s Axis Social applies every best practice out there (and then some) to maximize its post-conversion potential:

Image courtesy of Axis Social. Click it to see the whole thing.

This isn’t a landing page, though it might look a lot like one at first glance. It’s a thank you page (as opposed to a confirmation box or popup). And that’s why it’s so powerful. It does a lot of what a traditional lead-gen page might do, but it does it after the initial conversion goal has been met.

At this point in the interaction, the team at Axis has already captured the visitor’s email address in exchange for a downloadable Buyer’s Guide. Instead of letting the interaction end there, Axis goes the extra mile to communicate their value as an agency. According to Managing Director Matthew Asimus, this page helped them bridge the gap between a marketing qualified (MQL) and sales qualified (SQL) lead:

We hypothesized that a number of users who engaged with, and converted on, our first MQL landing page would develop an additional level of trust and thus a propensity to ascend from an MQL into an SQL. In essence, we were hoping to move users through a ‘yes cascade’ or ‘yes ladder’ to improve conversion rates. Our initial results from this MQL ascension approach are incredibly exciting. Despite the campaigns using cold paid traffic from social and requesting 7 form fields, our landing page conversion rates are nearly 30%. What’s more, our lead qualification rates align with our other sales qualified lead generation approaches.

Note just how much persuasive material they’ve included here:

Social proof in the form of both brand logos (visible above the fold, naturally) and extensive testimonials from individual clients.

A walkthrough of the social strategy call that highlights compelling benefits (“explosive lead growth for your business” sounds good to me) and gives the call a definitive structure and purpose.

The enticing promise of another resource, a custom Facebook Ads Blueprint, that’ll prove equally valuable to Axis Social’s targeted customers.

The beauty of this approach is that it also scales to suit visitors without adding more pressure to the experience. If a visitor hits this page but doesn’t want to connect with Axis Social at the moment, there’s nothing here preventing them from clicking away.

But when visitors arrive with questions—or, say, balanced on the fine line between consideration and conversion—this thank you page gives them the extra nudge they need.

Thank You Tip 2: Reveal Next Steps

Speaking of next steps, if you’ve ever taken an action online—like submitting a form or making a purchase—without receiving any response, you know the existential dread that follows:

Did it… work? What happens next? Should I do it again?

What… am… I… supposed… to… do… now!?

Maybe I’m exaggerating a touch, but it’s always important to let the visitor know about the next steps—especially if clicking your call-to-action isn’t the end of things. Doing so will reduce friction, frustration, and uncertainty. Even if the next step will be yours to take, let people know what you’re doing and when they can expect to hear from you.

For example, notice how Zendrive does it here with a couple of lines:

Image courtesy of Zendrive.

It’s all clearly communicated. In the headline, they let their B2B prospects know that they’ve successfully completed the “first step.” Then the page sets expectations about what comes next (and when): “You will receive a message shortly with your invite to an executive briefing.”

Finally, it’s also worth taking note of how Zendrive suggests further reading from the site by linking to a piece of content from their blog. Providing a link to a single, valuable piece of content (as opposed to their blog as a whole) helps build trust before the briefing ever begins.

Bonus Tip: Offer Downloadable Downloadables on Your Thank You Pages

OK, full disclosure: I’m slipping this lil’ bonus tip in here just because it’s a pet peeve of mine.

Have you ever signed up for an ebook, report, or white paper that never seems to find its way to the inbox? It sucks. When this happens, you leave visitors feeling frustrated or even a little ripped off, since they’ve just exchanged your email address for nothing at all.

(I can’t click “unsubscribe” fast enough when this happens.)

What makes it so painful, though, is that there’s a dead-simple way of getting around this issue on your thank you pages:

Unless you’ve got a very special reason you need to deliver a file only via email, provide a download link on the thank you page itself. That way, visitors who’re anxious to start reading (like me) are satisfied. You can still start a drip campaign, of course. But you also eliminate the possibility that your downloadable never makes it to them.

Thank You Tip 3: Reinforce Brand Personality

This post features a few thank you pages that will feel a little “aspirational” for small marketing teams (or teams of one) who are short on time and resources. So it’s worth looking at how much gets done in this straightforward example from the fine people at Launchpeer:

Image courtesy of Launchpeer.

It’s personable, playful, and a little quirky. Most importantly, though, it’s thoughtful. As in, it demonstrates thought.

Even if you’ve seen this meme a million times before, this page lets you know that Launchpeer is a brand who, y’know, gets it. (And gets you.) Plus, when you click away, you leave with a pleasant association with the brand.

Tom Hanks is a good choice here too: he’s so darned affable and unlikely to be outed as a serial killer any time soon. I’m speculating, but this quick “t.hanks” from Launchpeer probably didn’t take a heck of a lot of time to create.

You can create your own fun images and animations, but the takeaway here should be that even a small effort leaves a much stronger impression than a generic thank you message. It shows how a humorous gif, playful animation, or unexpected message can generate tons of delight and goodwill.

(Of course, they also promote their podcast in this thank you page. And, again, offer that next step now that their visitor is on a roll engaging with their brand. So a little goes a long way…)

Thank You Tip 4: Win Them Over First, Then Make A Second Ask

Usually, when a visitor takes a small action, they become more likely to take another, bigger one. That’s why the most effective thank you pages often follow-up with a bigger ask, and why multi-staged forms are usually recommended by CRO specialists and agencies.

Sometimes it helps if the initial action is immediately appealing to your prospects. Take, for example, this contest created for Veeam by Gameplan Marketing:

Image courtesy of Veeam and Gameplan Marketing. Click it to see the whole thing.

Leads are captured by offering prizes to IT professionals (like a fitness tracker, a hotel gift card, or Apple AirPods) in exchange for taking a short survey about their current data centers and cloud storage solutions. Like the example from Zendrive above, the thank you page then reminds visitors what they can expect next.

But afterward, this thank you page also makes a second ask. Visitors who’re are (gently) encouraged to sign up to access a free, gated content hub. Since they’ve already provided their info to enter the contest, they’re now more predisposed to do so. Gameplan also includes a sweet explainer video (it appears on the contest page and the thank you page) that briefly outlines the benefits of their cloud-based data-management product.

Thank You Tip 5: Keep ‘Em Engaged With Your Site

One thing that most of these examples have in common is that they lead visitors back to the website or prompt another piece of content. You can take this even further, though.

For the launch of Unbounce’s Ultimate Ecommerce Landing Page Lookbook, for instance, the team created a landing page where visitors can grab it.

Here’s what the landing page for this guide looks like:

Click the image to visit the complete page. (Opens in a new tab.)

Eye-catching, right? And if it helps convince visitors that this lookbook is worth the download, then call it a success. It’s an awesome resource for any marketer looking for inspiration, so it’s not a tough sell.

However, we’ve also got plenty more content and resources to offer our ecomm visitors, including material further down the funnel. And we’d love to keep visitors coming back for it.

That’s why the thank you page is so crucial here. We want to keep the conversation going, so we use a thank you page to ask visitors another quick question on the way out. Depending on what visitors choose, they’ll be directed to additional resources.

I’ve included a screenshot of this choose-your-own-adventure flow below:

Click it to see the whole thing.

The answer that readers provide to this general question (i.e., “What’s the biggest challenge you face as a marketer?”) does three things:

The answer allows us to offer up additional, curated content and resources at the moment of conversion. This is the material we think visitors will find particularly useful. We include content from across the funnel, including editorial, educational, and promotional sources.

It lets us get to know our audience and their concerns a little better. The optional follow-up question on the thank you page helps us further qualify interest from visitors via progressive profiling and learn more about customers and non-customers alike.

It provides insight into our audience’s information needs. From a content planning and strategy perspective, this is invaluable as we fill content gaps, decide on what pieces need to be updated, and prioritize the creation of new resources.

So a single thank you page can become a source of marketing insight, an engagement driver, and a lead qualifier. All this happens by asking a single additional question at the right moment.

Curious about the Unbounce ecommerce lookbook? Take a look at the whole flow here. (Yes, we’ll need your email. Tell ‘em Colin sent ya.) While you’re at it, download it for your landing page swipe file.

Thanks for Reading (About Thank You Pages)

I find a real-world analogy enlightening here: imagine if brick-and-mortar retailers were to escort you to the exit and lock the door each time you make a purchase.

That’d be crazy, right?

So why do it on your landing pages?

Unfortunately, smart uses of thank you pages like these ones from our customers are the exception, not the rule. Frankly, a lot of examples out there look more like this bland form confirmation box, typo and all:

Pages like this one just don’t put as much care into saying thank you as they do their “pleases.” (That’s not great, Bob.)

A thank you page shouldn’t be a hard stop, and if that’s the habit you’ve gotten into, consider breaking it.

Thank you pages are super versatile. You can use them with subscriptions, downloads, webinar registrations, shopping carts, quote requests, demo signups, and contact forms. They can be used for upselling (or cross-selling), for offering discounts, for encouraging referrals, for soliciting feedback and testimonials, or for generating social shares. Holy moly.

Whether you’re selling something or generating leads, saying “thank you” in an unexpected and meaningful way is an opportunity to make a lasting impression. And, when incorporated into a thoughtful post-conversion strategy, it can boost your revenue too.

To close, here are three big points worth remembering if you’re trying to make a case for spending more time on your thank you pages:

A healthy open rate for emails in your nurture campaign is between 15-25%. How many of those new leads will see your thank you page? Close to 100%, I’d wager. Start nurturing right away!

According to research done by Bain & Company, “loyal online customers, just like offline ones, spend more, refer more people, and are more willing to expand their purchasing into new categories.” Well-considered thank you pages represent an incredible opportunity to create loyalty and build brand affinity.

If you get enough traffic and have a clear secondary conversion goal, remember that thank you pages can be A/B tested and optimized just like your landing pages. Post-conversion remains an important touchpoint for your conversion rate optimization planning.

So if you’re already designing landing pages, make saying “thank you” as much a part of the process as your headline, form, and call to action.

And, hey, thanks for reading.

#jumplinks {width: 100%; } #jumplinks td { padding: 5px; font-size: 0.9rem !important; }

0 notes

itsjessicaisreal · 5 years

Text

5 Thank You Pages That Take Post-Conversion to the Next Level

If you’re like me, you say “please” and “thank you” automatically.

“What do we say?” “Pweese.” Boom—the chunky monkey is yours!

“Thank You.” “You’re Welcome.” End of conversation.

See the problem here?

5 Tips from 5 Thank You Pages

1. Invite ‘Em for a Specific, Strategic Call 4. Win Them Over First, Then Make A Second Ask 2. Reveal the Next Steps 5. Keep ‘Em Engaged With Your Site 3. Reinforce Your Brand Personality

Thank You Tip #1: Invite ‘Em for a Specific, Strategic Call

The example below from Australia’s Axis Social applies every best practice out there (and then some) to maximize its post-conversion potential:

Image courtesy of Axis Social. Click it to see the whole thing.

Note just how much persuasive material they’ve included here:

Social proof in the form of both brand logos (visible above the fold, naturally) and extensive testimonials from individual clients.

A walkthrough of the social strategy call that highlights compelling benefits (“explosive lead growth for your business” sounds good to me) and gives the call a definitive structure and purpose.

The enticing promise of another resource, a custom Facebook Ads Blueprint, that’ll prove equally valuable to Axis Social’s targeted customers.

But when visitors arrive with questions—or, say, balanced on the fine line between consideration and conversion—this thank you page gives them the extra nudge they need.

Thank You Tip 2: Reveal Next Steps

Speaking of next steps, if you’ve ever taken an action online—like submitting a form or making a purchase—without receiving any response, you know the existential dread that follows:

Did it… work? What happens next? Should I do it again?

What… am… I… supposed… to… do… now!?

For example, notice how Zendrive does it here with a couple of lines:

Image courtesy of Zendrive.

Bonus Tip: Offer Downloadable Downloadables on Your Thank You Pages

OK, full disclosure: I’m slipping this lil’ bonus tip in here just because it’s a pet peeve of mine.

(I can’t click “unsubscribe” fast enough when this happens.)

What makes it so painful, though, is that there’s a dead-simple way of getting around this issue on your thank you pages:

Thank You Tip 3: Reinforce Brand Personality

Image courtesy of Launchpeer.

It’s personable, playful, and a little quirky. Most importantly, though, it’s thoughtful. As in, it demonstrates thought.

(Of course, they also promote their podcast in this thank you page. And, again, offer that next step now that their visitor is on a roll engaging with their brand. So a little goes a long way…)

Thank You Tip 4: Win Them Over First, Then Make A Second Ask

Sometimes it helps if the initial action is immediately appealing to your prospects. Take, for example, this contest created for Veeam by Gameplan Marketing:

Image courtesy of Veeam and Gameplan Marketing. Click it to see the whole thing.

Thank You Tip 5: Keep ‘Em Engaged With Your Site

One thing that most of these examples have in common is that they lead visitors back to the website or prompt another piece of content. You can take this even further, though.

For the launch of Unbounce’s Ultimate Ecommerce Landing Page Lookbook, for instance, the team created a landing page where visitors can grab it.

Here’s what the landing page for this guide looks like:

Click the image to visit the complete page. (Opens in a new tab.)

However, we’ve also got plenty more content and resources to offer our ecomm visitors, including material further down the funnel. And we’d love to keep visitors coming back for it.

I’ve included a screenshot of this choose-your-own-adventure flow below:

Click it to see the whole thing.

The answer that readers provide to this general question (i.e., “What’s the biggest challenge you face as a marketer?”) does three things:

So a single thank you page can become a source of marketing insight, an engagement driver, and a lead qualifier. All this happens by asking a single additional question at the right moment.

Thanks for Reading (About Thank You Pages)

I find a real-world analogy enlightening here: imagine if brick-and-mortar retailers were to escort you to the exit and lock the door each time you make a purchase.

That’d be crazy, right?

So why do it on your landing pages?

Pages like this one just don’t put as much care into saying thank you as they do their “pleases.” (That’s not great, Bob.)

A thank you page shouldn’t be a hard stop, and if that’s the habit you’ve gotten into, consider breaking it.

To close, here are three big points worth remembering if you’re trying to make a case for spending more time on your thank you pages:

A healthy open rate for emails in your nurture campaign is between 15-25%. How many of those new leads will see your thank you page? Close to 100%, I’d wager. Start nurturing right away!

So if you’re already designing landing pages, make saying “thank you” as much a part of the process as your headline, form, and call to action.

And, hey, thanks for reading.

#jumplinks {width: 100%; } #jumplinks td { padding: 5px; font-size: 0.9rem !important; } from Marketing https://unbounce.com/conversion-rate-optimization/thank-you-pages/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

0 notes

annaxkeating · 5 years

Text

5 Thank You Pages That Take Post-Conversion to the Next Level

If you’re like me, you say “please” and “thank you” automatically.

“What do we say?” “Pweese.” Boom—the chunky monkey is yours!

“Thank You.” “You’re Welcome.” End of conversation.

See the problem here?

5 Tips from 5 Thank You Pages

1. Invite ‘Em for a Specific, Strategic Call 4. Win Them Over First, Then Make A Second Ask 2. Reveal the Next Steps 5. Keep ‘Em Engaged With Your Site 3. Reinforce Your Brand Personality

Thank You Tip #1: Invite ‘Em for a Specific, Strategic Call

The example below from Australia’s Axis Social applies every best practice out there (and then some) to maximize its post-conversion potential:

Image courtesy of Axis Social. Click it to see the whole thing.

Note just how much persuasive material they’ve included here:

Social proof in the form of both brand logos (visible above the fold, naturally) and extensive testimonials from individual clients.

A walkthrough of the social strategy call that highlights compelling benefits (“explosive lead growth for your business” sounds good to me) and gives the call a definitive structure and purpose.

The enticing promise of another resource, a custom Facebook Ads Blueprint, that’ll prove equally valuable to Axis Social’s targeted customers.

But when visitors arrive with questions—or, say, balanced on the fine line between consideration and conversion—this thank you page gives them the extra nudge they need.

Thank You Tip 2: Reveal Next Steps

Speaking of next steps, if you’ve ever taken an action online—like submitting a form or making a purchase—without receiving any response, you know the existential dread that follows:

Did it… work? What happens next? Should I do it again?

What… am… I… supposed… to… do… now!?

For example, notice how Zendrive does it here with a couple of lines:

Image courtesy of Zendrive.

Bonus Tip: Offer Downloadable Downloadables on Your Thank You Pages

OK, full disclosure: I’m slipping this lil’ bonus tip in here just because it’s a pet peeve of mine.

(I can’t click “unsubscribe” fast enough when this happens.)

What makes it so painful, though, is that there’s a dead-simple way of getting around this issue on your thank you pages:

Thank You Tip 3: Reinforce Brand Personality

Image courtesy of Launchpeer.

It’s personable, playful, and a little quirky. Most importantly, though, it’s thoughtful. As in, it demonstrates thought.

(Of course, they also promote their podcast in this thank you page. And, again, offer that next step now that their visitor is on a roll engaging with their brand. So a little goes a long way…)

Thank You Tip 4: Win Them Over First, Then Make A Second Ask

Sometimes it helps if the initial action is immediately appealing to your prospects. Take, for example, this contest created for Veeam by Gameplan Marketing:

Image courtesy of Veeam and Gameplan Marketing. Click it to see the whole thing.

Thank You Tip 5: Keep ‘Em Engaged With Your Site

One thing that most of these examples have in common is that they lead visitors back to the website or prompt another piece of content. You can take this even further, though.

For the launch of Unbounce’s Ultimate Ecommerce Landing Page Lookbook, for instance, the team created a landing page where visitors can grab it.

Here’s what the landing page for this guide looks like:

Click the image to visit the complete page. (Opens in a new tab.)

However, we’ve also got plenty more content and resources to offer our ecomm visitors, including material further down the funnel. And we’d love to keep visitors coming back for it.

I’ve included a screenshot of this choose-your-own-adventure flow below:

Click it to see the whole thing.

The answer that readers provide to this general question (i.e., “What’s the biggest challenge you face as a marketer?”) does three things:

So a single thank you page can become a source of marketing insight, an engagement driver, and a lead qualifier. All this happens by asking a single additional question at the right moment.

Thanks for Reading (About Thank You Pages)

I find a real-world analogy enlightening here: imagine if brick-and-mortar retailers were to escort you to the exit and lock the door each time you make a purchase.

That’d be crazy, right?

So why do it on your landing pages?

Pages like this one just don’t put as much care into saying thank you as they do their “pleases.” (That’s not great, Bob.)

A thank you page shouldn’t be a hard stop, and if that’s the habit you’ve gotten into, consider breaking it.

To close, here are three big points worth remembering if you’re trying to make a case for spending more time on your thank you pages:

A healthy open rate for emails in your nurture campaign is between 15-25%. How many of those new leads will see your thank you page? Close to 100%, I’d wager. Start nurturing right away!

So if you’re already designing landing pages, make saying “thank you” as much a part of the process as your headline, form, and call to action.

And, hey, thanks for reading.

#jumplinks {width: 100%; } #jumplinks td { padding: 5px; font-size: 0.9rem !important; } from Digital https://unbounce.com/conversion-rate-optimization/thank-you-pages/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

#digital marketing

0 notes

samanthasmeyers · 5 years

Text

5 Thank You Pages That Take Post-Conversion to the Next Level

If you’re like me, you say “please” and “thank you” automatically.

“What do we say?” “Pweese.” Boom—the chunky monkey is yours!

“Thank You.” “You’re Welcome.” End of conversation.

See the problem here?

5 Tips from 5 Thank You Pages

1. Invite ‘Em for a Specific, Strategic Call 4. Win Them Over First, Then Make A Second Ask 2. Reveal the Next Steps 5. Keep ‘Em Engaged With Your Site 3. Reinforce Your Brand Personality

Thank You Tip #1: Invite ‘Em for a Specific, Strategic Call

The example below from Australia’s Axis Social applies every best practice out there (and then some) to maximize its post-conversion potential:

Image courtesy of Axis Social. Click it to see the whole thing.

Note just how much persuasive material they’ve included here:

Social proof in the form of both brand logos (visible above the fold, naturally) and extensive testimonials from individual clients.

A walkthrough of the social strategy call that highlights compelling benefits (“explosive lead growth for your business” sounds good to me) and gives the call a definitive structure and purpose.

The enticing promise of another resource, a custom Facebook Ads Blueprint, that’ll prove equally valuable to Axis Social’s targeted customers.

But when visitors arrive with questions—or, say, balanced on the fine line between consideration and conversion—this thank you page gives them the extra nudge they need.

Thank You Tip 2: Reveal Next Steps

Speaking of next steps, if you’ve ever taken an action online—like submitting a form or making a purchase—without receiving any response, you know the existential dread that follows:

Did it… work? What happens next? Should I do it again?

What… am… I… supposed… to… do… now!?

For example, notice how Zendrive does it here with a couple of lines:

Image courtesy of Zendrive.

Bonus Tip: Offer Downloadable Downloadables on Your Thank You Pages

OK, full disclosure: I’m slipping this lil’ bonus tip in here just because it’s a pet peeve of mine.

(I can’t click “unsubscribe” fast enough when this happens.)

What makes it so painful, though, is that there’s a dead-simple way of getting around this issue on your thank you pages:

Thank You Tip 3: Reinforce Brand Personality

Image courtesy of Launchpeer.

It’s personable, playful, and a little quirky. Most importantly, though, it’s thoughtful. As in, it demonstrates thought.

(Of course, they also promote their podcast in this thank you page. And, again, offer that next step now that their visitor is on a roll engaging with their brand. So a little goes a long way…)

Thank You Tip 4: Win Them Over First, Then Make A Second Ask

Sometimes it helps if the initial action is immediately appealing to your prospects. Take, for example, this contest created for Veeam by Gameplan Marketing:

Image courtesy of Veeam and Gameplan Marketing. Click it to see the whole thing.

Thank You Tip 5: Keep ‘Em Engaged With Your Site

One thing that most of these examples have in common is that they lead visitors back to the website or prompt another piece of content. You can take this even further, though.

For the launch of Unbounce’s Ultimate Ecommerce Landing Page Lookbook, for instance, the team created a landing page where visitors can grab it.

Here’s what the landing page for this guide looks like:

Click the image to visit the complete page. (Opens in a new tab.)

However, we’ve also got plenty more content and resources to offer our ecomm visitors, including material further down the funnel. And we’d love to keep visitors coming back for it.

I’ve included a screenshot of this choose-your-own-adventure flow below:

Click it to see the whole thing.

The answer that readers provide to this general question (i.e., “What’s the biggest challenge you face as a marketer?”) does three things:

So a single thank you page can become a source of marketing insight, an engagement driver, and a lead qualifier. All this happens by asking a single additional question at the right moment.

Thanks for Reading (About Thank You Pages)

I find a real-world analogy enlightening here: imagine if brick-and-mortar retailers were to escort you to the exit and lock the door each time you make a purchase.

That’d be crazy, right?

So why do it on your landing pages?

Pages like this one just don’t put as much care into saying thank you as they do their “pleases.” (That’s not great, Bob.)

A thank you page shouldn’t be a hard stop, and if that’s the habit you’ve gotten into, consider breaking it.

To close, here are three big points worth remembering if you’re trying to make a case for spending more time on your thank you pages:

A healthy open rate for emails in your nurture campaign is between 15-25%. How many of those new leads will see your thank you page? Close to 100%, I’d wager. Start nurturing right away!

So if you’re already designing landing pages, make saying “thank you” as much a part of the process as your headline, form, and call to action.

And, hey, thanks for reading.

#jumplinks {width: 100%; } #jumplinks td { padding: 5px; font-size: 0.9rem !important; } from Marketing https://unbounce.com/conversion-rate-optimization/thank-you-pages/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

#Digital Marketing

0 notes

jjonassevilla · 5 years

Text

5 Thank You Pages That Take Post-Conversion to the Next Level

If you’re like me, you say “please” and “thank you” automatically.

“What do we say?” “Pweese.” Boom—the chunky monkey is yours!

“Thank You.” “You’re Welcome.” End of conversation.

See the problem here?

5 Tips from 5 Thank You Pages

1. Invite ‘Em for a Specific, Strategic Call 4. Win Them Over First, Then Make A Second Ask 2. Reveal the Next Steps 5. Keep ‘Em Engaged With Your Site 3. Reinforce Your Brand Personality

Thank You Tip #1: Invite ‘Em for a Specific, Strategic Call

The example below from Australia’s Axis Social applies every best practice out there (and then some) to maximize its post-conversion potential:

Image courtesy of Axis Social. Click it to see the whole thing.

Note just how much persuasive material they’ve included here:

Social proof in the form of both brand logos (visible above the fold, naturally) and extensive testimonials from individual clients.

A walkthrough of the social strategy call that highlights compelling benefits (“explosive lead growth for your business” sounds good to me) and gives the call a definitive structure and purpose.

The enticing promise of another resource, a custom Facebook Ads Blueprint, that’ll prove equally valuable to Axis Social’s targeted customers.

But when visitors arrive with questions—or, say, balanced on the fine line between consideration and conversion—this thank you page gives them the extra nudge they need.

Thank You Tip 2: Reveal Next Steps

Speaking of next steps, if you’ve ever taken an action online—like submitting a form or making a purchase—without receiving any response, you know the existential dread that follows:

Did it… work? What happens next? Should I do it again?

What… am… I… supposed… to… do… now!?

For example, notice how Zendrive does it here with a couple of lines:

Image courtesy of Zendrive.

Bonus Tip: Offer Downloadable Downloadables on Your Thank You Pages

OK, full disclosure: I’m slipping this lil’ bonus tip in here just because it’s a pet peeve of mine.

(I can’t click “unsubscribe” fast enough when this happens.)

What makes it so painful, though, is that there’s a dead-simple way of getting around this issue on your thank you pages:

Thank You Tip 3: Reinforce Brand Personality

Image courtesy of Launchpeer.

It’s personable, playful, and a little quirky. Most importantly, though, it’s thoughtful. As in, it demonstrates thought.

(Of course, they also promote their podcast in this thank you page. And, again, offer that next step now that their visitor is on a roll engaging with their brand. So a little goes a long way…)

Thank You Tip 4: Win Them Over First, Then Make A Second Ask

Sometimes it helps if the initial action is immediately appealing to your prospects. Take, for example, this contest created for Veeam by Gameplan Marketing:

Image courtesy of Veeam and Gameplan Marketing. Click it to see the whole thing.

Thank You Tip 5: Keep ‘Em Engaged With Your Site

One thing that most of these examples have in common is that they lead visitors back to the website or prompt another piece of content. You can take this even further, though.

For the launch of Unbounce’s Ultimate Ecommerce Landing Page Lookbook, for instance, the team created a landing page where visitors can grab it.

Here’s what the landing page for this guide looks like:

Click the image to visit the complete page. (Opens in a new tab.)

However, we’ve also got plenty more content and resources to offer our ecomm visitors, including material further down the funnel. And we’d love to keep visitors coming back for it.

I’ve included a screenshot of this choose-your-own-adventure flow below:

Click it to see the whole thing.

The answer that readers provide to this general question (i.e., “What’s the biggest challenge you face as a marketer?”) does three things:

So a single thank you page can become a source of marketing insight, an engagement driver, and a lead qualifier. All this happens by asking a single additional question at the right moment.

Thanks for Reading (About Thank You Pages)

I find a real-world analogy enlightening here: imagine if brick-and-mortar retailers were to escort you to the exit and lock the door each time you make a purchase.

That’d be crazy, right?

So why do it on your landing pages?

Pages like this one just don’t put as much care into saying thank you as they do their “pleases.” (That’s not great, Bob.)

A thank you page shouldn’t be a hard stop, and if that’s the habit you’ve gotten into, consider breaking it.

To close, here are three big points worth remembering if you’re trying to make a case for spending more time on your thank you pages:

A healthy open rate for emails in your nurture campaign is between 15-25%. How many of those new leads will see your thank you page? Close to 100%, I’d wager. Start nurturing right away!

So if you’re already designing landing pages, make saying “thank you” as much a part of the process as your headline, form, and call to action.

And, hey, thanks for reading.

#jumplinks {width: 100%; } #jumplinks td { padding: 5px; font-size: 0.9rem !important; } from Marketing https://unbounce.com/conversion-rate-optimization/thank-you-pages/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

#SEO

0 notes

josephkchoi · 5 years

Text

5 Thank You Pages That Take Post-Conversion to the Next Level

If you’re like me, you say “please” and “thank you” automatically.

“What do we say?” “Pweese.” Boom—the chunky monkey is yours!

“Thank You.” “You’re Welcome.” End of conversation.

See the problem here?

5 Tips from 5 Thank You Pages

1. Invite ‘Em for a Specific, Strategic Call 4. Win Them Over First, Then Make A Second Ask 2. Reveal the Next Steps 5. Keep ‘Em Engaged With Your Site 3. Reinforce Your Brand Personality

Thank You Tip #1: Invite ‘Em for a Specific, Strategic Call

The example below from Australia’s Axis Social applies every best practice out there (and then some) to maximize its post-conversion potential:

Image courtesy of Axis Social. Click it to see the whole thing.

Note just how much persuasive material they’ve included here:

Social proof in the form of both brand logos (visible above the fold, naturally) and extensive testimonials from individual clients.

A walkthrough of the social strategy call that highlights compelling benefits (“explosive lead growth for your business” sounds good to me) and gives the call a definitive structure and purpose.

The enticing promise of another resource, a custom Facebook Ads Blueprint, that’ll prove equally valuable to Axis Social’s targeted customers.

But when visitors arrive with questions—or, say, balanced on the fine line between consideration and conversion—this thank you page gives them the extra nudge they need.

Thank You Tip 2: Reveal Next Steps

Speaking of next steps, if you’ve ever taken an action online—like submitting a form or making a purchase—without receiving any response, you know the existential dread that follows:

Did it… work? What happens next? Should I do it again?

What… am… I… supposed… to… do… now!?

For example, notice how Zendrive does it here with a couple of lines:

Image courtesy of Zendrive.

Bonus Tip: Offer Downloadable Downloadables on Your Thank You Pages

OK, full disclosure: I’m slipping this lil’ bonus tip in here just because it’s a pet peeve of mine.

(I can’t click “unsubscribe” fast enough when this happens.)

What makes it so painful, though, is that there’s a dead-simple way of getting around this issue on your thank you pages:

Thank You Tip 3: Reinforce Brand Personality

Image courtesy of Launchpeer.

It’s personable, playful, and a little quirky. Most importantly, though, it’s thoughtful. As in, it demonstrates thought.

(Of course, they also promote their podcast in this thank you page. And, again, offer that next step now that their visitor is on a roll engaging with their brand. So a little goes a long way…)

Thank You Tip 4: Win Them Over First, Then Make A Second Ask

Sometimes it helps if the initial action is immediately appealing to your prospects. Take, for example, this contest created for Veeam by Gameplan Marketing:

Image courtesy of Veeam and Gameplan Marketing. Click it to see the whole thing.

Thank You Tip 5: Keep ‘Em Engaged With Your Site

One thing that most of these examples have in common is that they lead visitors back to the website or prompt another piece of content. You can take this even further, though.

For the launch of Unbounce’s Ultimate Ecommerce Landing Page Lookbook, for instance, the team created a landing page where visitors can grab it.

Here’s what the landing page for this guide looks like:

Click the image to visit the complete page. (Opens in a new tab.)

However, we’ve also got plenty more content and resources to offer our ecomm visitors, including material further down the funnel. And we’d love to keep visitors coming back for it.

I’ve included a screenshot of this choose-your-own-adventure flow below:

Click it to see the whole thing.

The answer that readers provide to this general question (i.e., “What’s the biggest challenge you face as a marketer?”) does three things:

So a single thank you page can become a source of marketing insight, an engagement driver, and a lead qualifier. All this happens by asking a single additional question at the right moment.

Thanks for Reading (About Thank You Pages)

I find a real-world analogy enlightening here: imagine if brick-and-mortar retailers were to escort you to the exit and lock the door each time you make a purchase.

That’d be crazy, right?

So why do it on your landing pages?

Pages like this one just don’t put as much care into saying thank you as they do their “pleases.” (That’s not great, Bob.)

A thank you page shouldn’t be a hard stop, and if that’s the habit you’ve gotten into, consider breaking it.

To close, here are three big points worth remembering if you’re trying to make a case for spending more time on your thank you pages:

A healthy open rate for emails in your nurture campaign is between 15-25%. How many of those new leads will see your thank you page? Close to 100%, I’d wager. Start nurturing right away!

So if you’re already designing landing pages, make saying “thank you” as much a part of the process as your headline, form, and call to action.

And, hey, thanks for reading.

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