#now they go by a different url and alias and i didn’t know it was them

[thetruthaboutnolan]

HAS THAT STALKER BLOG FINALLY GOTTEN A LIFE?

Which one dear? I’m assuming the one that doxxed my buddy and claimed it was me? No idea. I occasionally type in their url to their ask page and just type something that they haven’t figured out is me yet and just laugh. Haven’t really looked at them in months and no one has reported their deranged rantings to me in a while. Apparently stalking got old and is no longer cute? I wonder if they have become aware yet that I’ve been controlling the topics they bring up. Or more importantly, I don’t actually care about the things I post here. Like I said I’m giving up the Nolan alias to others and I’m the only one who actually has proof, DMs, and screen shots of things I’ve actually done and don’t care about revealing the truth of things, never did.

WHY ARE THE OBSESSED AND GET BUTT HURT WITH YOU BRINGING THE TRUTH TO LIGHT?

Mainly because it goes against the narrative. The narrative is ever group I join, I make massive drama and traumatize everyone on the group. The truth is I only had drama on two groups ALR other wise known as A Legend Reborn, and WOTNA aka war of the new age. And for both I’ve have long since spoken with staff members and the people I had issues with and all have since apologized, acknowledged they lied and made the drama into ‘serious business’ because of their immaturity at that time in their life. With a notable exception. Will WOTNA’s primary admin and the guy I had the drama with have done all that, ALR’s primary admin hasn’t but her former staff members have.

Now, there are numerous rumors of groups I never heard of that I apparently made drama on so I don’t care to cover those. What I will cover will be the ones I was actually on and again, these are ones I’ve also spoken to some of the staff of later and they’ve apologized.

EMPIRE- I was in this group for like 2 weeks and had plots going with three people. No drama on it at all. Randomly got messaged by staff that while I had been nothing but a great poster and friendly, a couple of members were upset I was even there as they were fans of Raven. And after staff told me I could return just under a different alias if I like I told them I’d do that and in fact did and was on there til it died. I did tell the staff though that I was suing Raven and I’d like to include their words as evidence. Which I guess scared them as I was told they didn’t want to be involved but wished me well on that.

They posted the unfollow and then days later posted the follow for my new character and alias. Apparently they told two people about this and those two twisted it to me saying I was threatening to sue them and now they were traumatized by me for threatening with the law.

HOLLOW GROVE - already posted that Google doc that details everything. Literally was no drama other than staff not knowing their own lore and mad I wouldn’t let them beat up my character. I was kicked out, let it known what happened and the staff there after I was gone made up all kinds of stories including that I was underage which they used on several people they kicked out. They didn’t like I had proof from people that the site was toxic and cliquey which I posted a little of. Later they admit they just didn’t like me and wanted me gone which I respect just admit it instead of making up these Shakespearean dramas.

CORINTH BAY - literally no drama while I was on there. I literally only talked to my one friend there and one other girl who admitted she got bullied out of the group. from what my friend told me, the admins didn’t like he was hanging around and talking to me too much so they wanted me gone. I make my own group, and we play tug of war with my friend they win for a while. I also message people my friend told me to message to see if they were interested in joining which also sets them off. Of course, they all have the same or similar story to this one person which is why they either also joined mine or left corinth to join mine. It comes out their two friends Steph and Jay are psychopaths which my friend admits they were and the friend group blocked and refused to talk to them now. And I got my friend back which they again hated.

I am currently in the new group they have as my friend tried to get me on it but the Corinth staff also staff they didn’t want me there since the optics of bashing me and then inviting me back to the new group looked bad they admitted I never actually did anything to them or the group while there. My friend said to join under a new alias so I did and we have a blast to this day though in half convinced my friend has even forgotten I went by Nolan anymore since my new alias came with a new discord and we never talk about the past. Or maybe he pretends just so he doesn’t feel torn between loyalty to his toxic friends and loyalty to me.

DID YOU POST TO THAT CLOWN BLOG?

Yeah after someone posted about me it came to my attention. I never hid that fact and openly sent them an ask from an actual account off anon after all. So me and my friend went there to clear the record. Apparently our fans spoke to Mr clown which was when he posted that long thing about us. Then he spoke to us which is when he deleted that long post and actually started to defend me in the anons about me. He never spoke of my friend again as he asked the clown not to. And yes I used it as one of the many blogs to bring attention to that race faker. As I stated DAMN NEAR EVERYONE ALREADY HAD THE PROOF but were all scared to release it so I used myself and a hated blog that everyone was watching and submitting things to, to then get the ball rolling knowing full well people assumed anything negative about anyone running a blog was me sending it. And boy did it roll.

DID YOU REALLY POST 500 WORDS EVERY COUPLE OF MINUTES?

Yep, still do sometimes. It wasn’t just getting posts out to have a lot either. Literally just post, they posted back on with a couple of minutes so I did the same and we just kept that going for most of my day off. It was just that the muse was powerful, and my partner could do the same back to me, in fact, he was known for doing so, the group even made his alias into a verb for it. My posts were from what everyone told me, 'pretty great and very detailed' similar to my partner who was doing the same. What people don't get is that 1) I don't care about my typing here. It's quick, I don't read over it, I just type what comes to mind, and I'm only posting on my phone with autocorrect and my fingers sliding across the keys making it type random words sometimes and don't care to fix it. But it's really just jealous writers who aren't nearly as skilled or have partners who can and talented enough to post so quickly for long periods and never run out of muse or desire to post with them. I'd be jealous of that to though haha.

[mvthr]

something similar happened to me that literally devolved into a multiple years long saga of this group of friends claiming they hate me bc i won't leave them alone and keep harassing them but for literal years publicly posted every new alias and url of mine, stalked my non tumblr socials, letting my friends and i apply (these were full app rpgs) to groups they made under different names and walking us through the process of everything fully knowing they were wasting our time, etc. and what's worse is know different groups of people who have done the same or worse to others! someone who's going to behave like this, they're either a self-centered coward or a straight up bully who enjoys having people at a disadvantaged position just to deny them any sort of explanation and leave them spiraling. i'm really sorry this is happening to you. it really sickens me the number of people who know they have a problem with someone but are totally unwilling to just tell the person privately that they don't think this is a healthy environment for them. and likewise, people need to be open to the idea that not every space is meant for them! which in all fairness to you, it does seem like you did

hi anon! firstly, i am so sorry you had to experience something like that. toxic environments regardless of the platform is never okay. it definitely sounds like they crossed the line several times with you for no reason other than to be cruel. i hope those people have matured from this and that you are now at peace. furthermore, thanks so much for giving me the benefit of the doubt with regards to my situation. I am not without flaws and even acknowledged my own mistakes in the psa. i knew after being blocked that wasn’t going to be the place for me but wanted to clear the air and say my peace first. however, that didn’t go well from me prior to my exit. all i can do now is move forward after saying my peace and hope that those involved can grow from this experience as well. 💜

[sonsband]

Hi!! It's your Atiny Secret Santa <3

I just realized I never asked your name!! (or alias, of course you don't have to share your actual name haha) I was almost calling you Alexander cause of your url hahaha

"talented but also a little cringe" is such a mood hahaha I listen to a lot of artists, but the ones I end up stanning and keeping up with are 100% because of their personality. I watch the non music related content and then fall for them The whole "I cannot engli-shi" bit in Treasure Film is how I fell for Mingi, no lie hahahaha

Little cousin's age huh... so you are on the older side; I just turned 27, they are my little sister's age, but at this point I don't feel the age difference that much (she's literally my best friend 🫶)

Watching Kingdom without being a stan of any of the groups yet was such a great experience! I didn't have any sort of stress over who won this or that, nor was I aware of the stress behind cameras; I was just blissfully enjoying amazing stages and the interactions between different groups (I LOVE whenever we get some of those!!). I rewatch it from time to time, if you still have your reviews I would love to check some of your favorites hahaha

Are you the theater designer or semi-serous singer? And acting too?? You are honestly so cool hahaha And I absolutely agree... Honjoong is AMAZING, he has such a control of his facial expressions... but I feel like he will never admit even to himself how good he is

and yikes, I hope the atinyblr of now is treating you well... I had a great time since joining, but since I interact more with the gif makers than the writers side maybe that's why

THE ICONIC WOOSAN SNUGGLE!! I'm that person that looks for what's happening beyond the person in focus to get glimpses of their "real self" you know? And that was some quality shit!!! You will never convince me the relationships between the teezers are faked for the cameras... those boys are family and they love each other

Since you are not as engrossed in the atinyblr I don't think I'll be exposing myself: My biases are Hwa, Yunho and Mingi and Wooyoung is also there because... Is impossible not to have him there... I tried

And one thing I can think of right now is Yunho helping Mingi along, he always has an eye on his friend. Like that interview in a photoshoot where Yunho hand signaled "Wave" to Mingi and later said "he can't live without me" and I think is during the Ode To Youth photoshoot he is also shown watching Mingi be interviewed and helping along... I love their bond so much

sorry this got so long hahaha Hope you are having an amazing week <3

No worries about it being long, I’m a rambler too, haha. I appreciate the time taken out of your birthday week (month)! And I got stupid long, too...

My name’s Hanya! The URL is… an unfunny joke that literally four other people get.

I collect boy groups, it’s my right as a lesbian to have as many as I want, and all of the idols I latch onto have Annoying Step Brother Vibes and I mean that as a compliment even though my actual step brother is annoying. Or have some vague vibe of lesbianism (Wonho idk what you’re doing but keep it up).

Oh thank god, I’m 29, and I was so nervous I was going to be paired with like an 18 year old and it would be weird for everyone. And you get it, siblings are built in best friends. My cousin’s also basically my second sister at this point, she moved here for college and announced that she would be, but when she met my dad’s partner’s kids, she switched it up to I don’t speak English do not even look at me I am not YOUR sibling. So even though we’re scattered now we’re still best friends and they can’t get rid of me.

Kingdom was so fun when you ignored the drama and just watched it as ten weeks of large-scale stages. Although the true winner (Queen Kraken) was robbed when she really deserved everything. I didn’t pay attention to anything off stage, and just let my friends tell me what happened. But when it was cute? Oh I loved that. This is really the only post that’s relevant with their comeback next month. (Do they ever sleep?) I know everyone's mostly over it, but will I ever be over "Rhythm Ta" or "Back Door" or "Monster"? Probably not.

I used to sing! Then my sister’s opera singing took off and she was ~the musical one~ so I kind of stepped back, and now we just sing "Africa" in the car in harmony lmao. And honestly my acting is slow, I just finished an intensive in Meisner that was amazing, but I don’t have anything booked until spring/summer. I’m excited for that project, tho -- I won’t nerd out too much, but it’s a “horror music film” and I’m playing the final girl. Even if I wasn’t excited about the music (Phrygian skate punk!), getting to kill a monster with a skateboard in my crop top and boy shorts got me on board.

Hongjoong is amazing at it, if we spoke the same language I’d love to pick his brain for his tricks, he really embodies his characters. He insists he isn’t good but I hate him for that because the idols who actually act on stage are so few and far between, just embrace it beloved! AND he produces on top of singing, dancing, and rapping, and now I guess he’s also a photographer smh the platonic ideal of a short king.

What about you? Do you do any art? Or any other hobbies? Clearly you like music and performance if you’re on kpop tumblr haha. You said you interact with gif makers, do you make gifs?

And yes, it’s better, because now you’re here! And I try my best to not interact with rpf writers, believe me, but they interacted with me, and I pulled a “fine then I don’t want to play here!” and took my ball home and convinced my kpoppie friends to watch the Fireworks comeback with me. But now it’s infinitely better because you seem infinitely cooler, although I promise my bar is higher than “doesn’t call me slurs”.

I know idol personas are performative (“even Doyoung!”) but I don’t care, I like their idol personas and that’s all that matters as a fan. I don’t watch much extra content, but thankfully the group chat keeps me updated and sends me highlight clips, and they’re always Just So Much (complimentary). That one got me, but literally any time that Wooyoung gets to cuddle his besties… when he trended on Twitter for crashing San and Mingi’s live and being the cutest on the planet snuggled up to Mingi… there’s really no point in trying to keep him out, he WILL become a favorite, whether you want him to or not. And EXCELLENT choice on Yunho and Mingi. The boys who are a normal height over these shorties. When they get on stage and open up their chests I’m like why have you ever hidden that from us. Ngl when Yunho started singing the chorus in “Leave the Door Open” I had to stop and pause and breathe because oh my GOD why do they ever have him do anything other than that chest voice. I know it’s not ~trendy~ or whatever but I’ve had enough throat call voice, let them use that insane power. I know San does, too, and he gets v chesty, and Yeosang and Seonghwa killed in "The Ring", but those extra few inches of height… And then they’re such dorks with each other while also being so caring, “he can’t live without me”, truly a superior duo.

Okay, now I was the one to ramble. My week's going great, upped my 1RM yesterday and got my helix piercings today, and I'm going to see my dad next week. If the suppliers at work can get it together, and if I can get a straight answer on if I'm actually going on this trip next month, then it will be an excellent week. I hope your week is going amazingly and full of wonderful birthday celebrations! I want to hear all about it~

[pinerbill]

Ntopng will not start

Ntopng will not start upgrade#

Ntopng will not start portable#

Ntopng will not start password#

Ntopng will not start Pc#

Ntopng will not start free#

Use the port 3000, -w=3000.įinally, create another configuration file named ntopng.start and set your local network IP and the interface we previously used. You can also add its name instead of the number.Īlso, set the web server port in which the ntopng will open the web-based interface. ntopng yes, it’s all lowercase provides a intuitive, encrypted.

Ntopng will not start portable#

ntopng is based on libpcap / PFRING and it has been written in a portable way in order to virtually run on every Unix platform, MacOS and on Windows as well. In this case, we are choosing to monitor the interface number 2. ntopng is the next generation version of the original ntop, a network traffic probe that monitors network usage.

Ntopng will not start password#

What I am not sure about is how does NTOPNG know where to find the Redis service and how does it know what the password for. To set the interface to use, add the -i=2. within the forum I deleted the Redis DB and managed to get that working :-) Now however NTOPNG refuses to start.

I-export-flows : Export the expired flows on the specified endpoint.

Ntopng will not start upgrade#

Now that you know which interfaces you have, we need to define which interface you want to monitor. The upgrade did not success as espected, however even if deinstalling and reainstalling the standard comunity pachage, I am no able anymore to start ntopng services even if the standard package installed succesfully. If not specified, no hosts are dumped to disk. It displays the available network interfaces at the bottom of the file. The next method is using the ntopng -h command. Yours may be different, so make sure to change it appropriately.

Type the command on your terminal, and it will display which interface your network is using: next in thread List: ntop Subject: Re: Ntop ntopng wont start From: Lorenzo Mangani Date: 17:12:25 Message-ID.

I did run redis-server manually from shell by using command redis-sever then I started ntopng and it stopped after a minute or so.The first configuration involves determining which network interface you are using. I did add this redis_enable=“YES” in /etc/rc.conf. I did some reading on radis from package link FreshPorts - databases/redis: Persistent key-value database with built-in net interface I have tried with and without System:Advanced:Misc do not create rules when gateway is down checked. Just like in the video I copied and pasted identical Tags (KILL) in the Lan and Floating rule.

Ntopng will not start free#

An easy fix is for you to change the port to a free one, 3050 perhaps by changing. However, I’d really like devices not in the alias list to failover to WAN, and I’d like it to be easier to restart the VPN. I did some Googling to find possible solutions, I didn’t find anything that helped fix my problem. This is a common problem, it happens when the port 3000 isnt free/open. After updating to 21.7.1 I decided I wanted to give ntopng a shot, and I ran into the same thing. For me that fixed everythingjust following the ntop-opnsense setup documentation.

Ntopng will not start Pc#

The URL that is set in the address bar is 192.168.1.1:3000, I manage pfsense with Firefox through the direction of the PC pfSense is 192.168.1.1 then it seems to use ntopng need to change port and passes this. Uninstalled everything ntop related and ssh’d in to kill any ntop process and started over. Redis is running If i go to a shell and try '/usr/local/etc/rc.d/ntopng.sh start ' ntopng doesnt start ntopng without parameters starts fine. But when trying to access ntopng remains waiting and waiting until he tells me I spend too much time and the page can not be loaded. So from running ntopng from shell I am getting belowĠ6/Mar/2022 09:43:14 Setting local networks to 127.0.0.0/8,fe80::/10Ġ6/Mar/2022 09:43:14 ERROR: Connection error Ġ6/Mar/2022 09:43:30 ERROR: ntopng requires redis server to be up and runningĠ6/Mar/2022 09:43:30 ERROR: Please start it and try again or use -rĠ6/Mar/2022 09:43:30 ERROR: to specify a redis server other than the default Just updated from 2.4.2 to 2.4.3-DEVELOPMENT (amd64) built on Fri Jan 19 13:16: and ntopng is not starting. Next was to dig more and see what the issue might be, I found the ntopng service stopped, I started it and less than a minutes later it stopped. I was watching Lawrence’s video “How to Configure Traffic Monitoring with ntopng on pfsense” Things were going fine until I tried to access the interface on port 3000 and nothing was working. I want to keep my pfsense installs as close to default as possible for stability and ease of troubleshooting, but am tempted to enable this service so that it will start every time the system reboots. I was looking for a way to implement bandwidth monitoring on my pfsense. Looking further I can see that ntopng service is not enabled.

[saetoru]

i am just now realizing i’m moots with someone and we used to have each other blocked on my old blog 😭

[shingia]

How in the world did you come up with your new url and Alias????? Like???😭😭

I want to change mine but I have zero creativity in that department💀💀

Creative when it comes to drawing? Yes. Writing? Kinda yes. Nickname/usernames? NOPE!😂😭💀

WELL

tbh i didn’t rly have to rack my brain to find my new alias because giada’s the name i go by on twt, discord (+ genshin lol) + it’s not that different from my real name

shingia however was a bit more difficult i’m ngl :) i wanted something fandom neutral since i write for hq + aot now (and who knows which fandom i’ll add to the mix… i’m looking at you jjk…), and i also wanted it to have my alias in it (i wanted to keep alma in my url but couldn’t find anything that i liked ☹️)

so yeah anyways i started thinking about anime characters that i liked, and don’t ask why but i thought about kita, and i was like.. mmh, shinsuke’s a pretty name… (+ the prefix shin means new in japanese so it seemed appropriate to mark the beginning of my new era 🤪🤪) (also the ‘shing’ part made me think of shingeki no kyojin so, my url is still fandom neutral but i like the reference hehe)

[hylianremnants-a]

twelve people i’d like to get to know better.

ONE (  ALIAS  /  NAME  )     /     i go by blue in roleplaying circles !

TWO (  BIRTHDAY  )     /    november twelfth !

THREE (  ZODIAC SIGN  )     /    scorpio !  (  if i recall correctly, the full thing is scorpio sun, cancer rising, & pisces moon. yes i am constantly overwhelmed with emotion, thank you for asking !  )

FOUR (  HEIGHT  )     /    five foot five on the button !

FIVE (  HOBBIES  )     /     fuck, i’m never good at this one. roleplaying, obviously, for the first. video games, definitely, i’d be a hades multi - muse if i wasn’t a zelda one. photoshop counts as a hobby by now, i’m sure. pre - pandemic i really enjoyed playing magic: the gathering but it’s just ... not the same, doing the online versions, so it’s dropped by the wayside now. daydreaming about my characters bios & not actually writing them counts for sure.

SIX (  FAVOURITE BOOKS  )     /     i’ll always have a very soft spot for the a series of unfortunate events books, i must admit. i also love fairy - tales, but rather than list them all, i’ll say that six - gun snow white by catherynne m. valente is one of my favourites. deathless, by the same woman, is also in the top five. in the same vein, anything by emily caroll is an automatic favourite, through the woods is a masterpiece. the song of achilles is pretty great, & howl’s moving castle ! very different from the ghibli film, but still wonderful, would recommend, if only for welsh rugby playing howl. the umbrella academy is comics, but fuck it, i didn’t spent weeks on end bugging my local comic store to stock it in the early tens to not put it here, i love my fucked up kids. i must also begrudgingly admit to enjoying trashy historical fiction. i read quite a few philippa gregory books in my teenage years. i’m not proud of it, but it is what it is !

SEVEN (  LAST SONG LISTENED TO  )     /     the whole of the moon by the waterboys !

EIGHT (  LAST SHOW WATCHED  )     /     ... bluey. my niece is three, & it’s one of her favourite shows. we watched it during snacktime. the last adult show i watched, by choice, was it’s a sin.

NINE (  INSPIRATION FOR MUSE  )     /     which fucking one. trying to pin down what inspires me for what muse is like trying to catch lightning. my general overwhelming love for the legend of zelda series & all the characters within it, sure, but i spent most of my downtime in work yesterday frantically worldbuilding in my notes app for the princess zelda of 10,000 years prior to breath of the while because ... ???? i still don’t know ! i woke up early ? the wind blew in exactly the right way ? i heard a certain piece of music ? no ! not unless bruce springsteen is the soundtrack to pre - breath of the wild hyrule ! i don’t control this shit, i just wait for it to possess me, & try to get as many words out as i can in the moment !

...impa muse comes from the fact that we’re both lesbians, though. that one’s easy. every impa is a lesbian, that’s a rock fact, even the oracles impa. especially the oracles impa.

TEN (  MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL  )     /     this was intended to be a multi - muse based around breath of the wild & its characters, & considering it’s set in the ruins, the remains, of hyrule ? i expected most of my characters to be hylian too, hence hylianremnants, specifically, but no. it’s just link, it’s just all link. ( it’s just mostly link. i’ll be balancing my roster soon, promise. )

TAGGED BY       /     my darling ansem (  @dullweapons  )

TAGGING        /     if you haven’t done it yet, it’s your turn now !

[saltpepperbeard]

A Jotato’s THG Story (novel?)

So a few days ago, the lovely @everlarkedalways asked me to Weave My THG Tale™. And, in being VERY on brand in regards for my THG Story, I’m late to the party lol! Mostly because of work, partly because I was avoiding Ballad spoilers, and a tad bit because...I’m a potato. BUT, now that I am free of any large projects and finally have Ballad in my hands, I’m finally able to look past my potato roots and talk about how a certain wATER POTATO ARCHER CHANGED MY LIFE lmao.

Ara has jokes though, let me tell you. “Keep it short” l m a o; THIS IS ABOUT TO BE A NOVEL AND WE KNOW IT. ARE YOU READING BALLAD? HERE’S A NEW 500 PAGE BOOK FOR YOU TBH-

I’ve told this story a few times before, but it’s always delightful to look back on things and see all the twists and turns I’ve experienced with this franchise. The most notable being, I started out HATING Hunger Games lol!

I was in ninth grade when THG started to become like, a global phenomenon. Everyone was reading it, everyone was talking about it, and it was everywhere. And for whatever reason, instead of actually sitting down and, idk, GIVING IT A TRY LMAO, my reaction instead was to DESPISE IT. Guess it was that edgy, irate, “I’m ABOVE the general masses ha look at me,” fresh-out-of-middle-school mentality. And also, my justification for hating it so much was along the lines of, “Wow it’s just a series about kids killing each other? WHAT’S THE APPEAL???”

Which like fjlksjdksds...If I could look back on my early 2012 self?

She had no idea what was in store for her lmao.

Anyway, the premiere of the movie came and went, and I was still hard set in my ways. THAT WAS, until that same summer. I can’t exactly remember which clips I stumbled upon first? But I know I came across the Joshifer+Liz Banks interview, and also a ton of Perfectly Legal Movie Clips™ on YouTube. Both of which silently chained my soul without me realizing LMAO. I remember thinking that the main actors were so cute and played off each other well (AGAIN LMAO, GIRL, BIG STORM COMING), and also remember being totally intrigued by all the clips I watched. It was mainly clips of Katniss in the arena, and I think it made me realize that wow hey, there’s an ACTUAL STORY HERE, WITH A FEMALE PROTAGONIST NO LESS.

The story gets a tad fuzzy for me here, but I do believe I got the books and quickly read through them shortly after I essentially watched the entire movie on YouTube through clips jdksljdks. I can’t really recall what I thought about the books really? Because, I think I BREEZED through them. I was so excited that I just ZOOMED TF THROUGH. I inhaled the series in one GIANT GULP. I think I even read THG in a single day jdlsjklaads. It definitely wasn’t a cautious read through to get a better sense of the detail and literary devices. 

BUT, despite my excitement, I still hadn’t reached the God Tier “OBSESSIVE” stage yet. The light bulb hadn’t fully come on yet. It wasn’t until late 2013 when Catching Fire came out that I REALLY STARTED TO GO BALLISTIC LMAO. Actually, one of my fondest THG memories comes from this time, because I think it was really like, the OFFICIAL starting block for my obsession.

I was riding on a bus to a Theatre Competition, and my best friend had just gotten the CF Soundtrack for us to listen to. I remember being absolutely enamored with it- Mirrors, We Remain, and Lean in particular. And idk, something at that point just kind of told me that Catching Fire was going to be my anchor. Sure enough, after the competition was over, said friend and I went to go see the movie together.

And I astral projected lmao. I ACHIEVED HUNGER GAMES ENLIGHTENMENT. THE LIGHT BULB SWITCHED TF ON.

I was quick to see it again the following day, and I think saw it another two times in theaters after that. I also started drawing fanart of it, and looking for more pictures/interviews. And the want for more content, the DESIRE to go crazy about it, is what eventually lead me to finding the fandom here on Tumblr. I had had a Tumblr since 2012, but never really used it with a purpose. But when I realized there were people posting all sorts of stuff about THG? Boom- another light bulb. I followed tons of people, and officially changed my url to what it is today. “Star’s” for my internet alias at the time, and “Mahogany” for my love of Effie/that Iconic Line.

HOWEVER LOL, Tumblr would lead me towards a different side, something I didn’t expect to get pulled into so hard at all. Because, I distinctly remember coming on one night in December of 2013, and seeing @joshmopolitan and a few others posting about Josh going to the UK game. And that of course, lead me down the Celebrity Rabbit Hole, and lead me towards the Chaotic, Wonderful, Crazy-

JOSHIFER FANDOM.

((Also, before you crinkle your nose, *raises cane* BACK IN MY DAY, EVERYONE SHIPPED JOSHIFER LOL. *Snow voice* DON’T LIE. Like, everyone thought they were cute to some sort of degree, or believed they were going to get together. Shoutout to the Joshifer Golden Days, man.))

And thank goodness for it tbh. Because it was JUST when I was itching to write fanfiction with everyone else, and just when I was struggling HARDCORE with writing Everlark. @joshmopolitan and @youarebeingridiculous were sort of my introductions into RPF, with @youarebeingridiculous giving me nudges towards my first Everlark fic, before also nudging me towards my first Joshifer fic. And when my first Joshifer fic garnered attention/when I had a blast writing it? ANOTHER. LIGHT. BULB LOL.

So I was dead af from that point on. I was absolutely drawn in. Even though I was still invested in THG, Joshifer was definitely my main focus from 2014-2016ish. I was there for the typical ship wars, there to read and write all the fanfiction, there to read all the theories, and there to partake in all the crazy moments. Shoutout to Cannes 2014 in particular lmao; I was in the car and my phone started going off like CRAZY, with many of my friends SCREAMING at me about the events/articles that had transpired.

Being attached to Joshifer also allowed me to write my first, and so far only, full length, These Words are a Lie. It started out as just a four part series, two parts of which I actually published. Befffooorrre getting to the third part and realizing I had WAY too much to deal with/explain/write, which consequently lead to me pulling them down and expanding upon them! And thus my messy, lovely, 25 chapter peanut journey started lmao. Though I look back on it now and realize how disjointed it was, I’m so thankful I was able to see that story completely through. I’m also very thankful for the SUPPORT and following it got. Wouldn’t have gotten through without y’all! 

ANYWAY LMAO, because this is my THG story and not my Joshifer story, let’s get back to that. 2014 was WHACK because...LG was utterly tripping with its promotional material. And to think, it was just the START of odd/lacking promo, seeing as they were SOMEHOW WORSE WITH MJ2 LMAO. But even though I was incredibly salty at the time, it was so fun to be mad and chomping at the bit with everyone else lol. The SUFFERING OF NOT HAVING ANY NEW CONTENT BROUGHT US CLOSER TOGETHER. Also, going to Best Buy to watch the teaser trailer under Heavy Guard??? Was an EXPERIENCE LOL??? But man was I so stoked to get my poster and pin, because that was some of the first merch I got!

ALSO, MJ1 was the time where I got the idea to create a small YouTube series called “Tributes React.” I really really wish I could have been in the fandom earlier, because it would have been, dare I say, FIRE LOL to react to more than just the MJ1 and MJ2 trailers. But it was so so fun regardless, and everyone’s participation was incredible! And now all of our early, embarrassing, INTENSE fangirling is stuck here/memorialized forever PFFFF.

And, not to mention, Fran Solo himself watched one of them. Someone tweeted the video at him, and he tweeted back that it made all the hard times worth it. MY GREATEST FANDOM ACCOMPLISHMENT RIGHT THERE???

And finally getting to watch MJ1 in theaters lmao omg. I went with my friend before, and also one of my guy friends. And the entire time, he was HARD STARING AT ME WAITING FOR ME TO CRY LOL. SO HE COULD TEASE ME. AND HE GOT HIS WISH BECAUSE OF COURSE THE LAST 30 MINUTES OR SO UTTERLY RUINED ME. I remember shivering so so SO bad when the rescue mission for Peeta started, and having to hold my friends’ hands when they were creeping through the Tribute Center, and utterly SOBBING when Peeta attacked Katniss. Because...hello...I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again...WAY WAY MORE INTENSE THAN THE BOOK LMAO??

And then came the beginning of the end. I remember that promo time was even DRYER for MJ2 lmao, and that we were all DYING. Like, I think the big trailer didn’t release until like, SEPTEMBER??? WHICH...LG WHAT THE ACTUAL-

And we were also back to watching trailers in Best Buys jfkssdkdlsk. My Best Buy was also DUMB and didn’t have any posters, but @infinitegraces​ was awesome enough to send me numerous copies! Bless you, thank you; I had them on my wall all through college lol! DESPITE THEM BEING A HAUNTING REMINDER OF HOW HARD LG SMACKED US LMAO.

Despite my salt towards the INITIAL promo though, the premieres and what not definitely lead to MJ2 having a special place in my heart. I had just gone off to college, and was a timid, lonely little freshman with nowhere to turn. But the fandom was there for me, and MJ2 promos/premieres gave me something to be excited for. It all kept me going through that ROUGH first semester, and was there for me before I met my best friends. So thank you MJ2, and thank you all for sharing that excitement with me! <3

Also, I’d like to mention that I was SO desperate to continue the tradition of seeing the premiere with my friend thaaaaatttt...I left for Thanksgiving break two or three days early/skipped class JUST to make it back home in time to see it with her lol! I WASN’T HERE TO PLAY GAMES, Y’ALL. THG > ACADEMICS APPARENTLY PFFFF.

After that though, things kind of quieted down. I found friends and activities in college, the movies were done, and Joshifer was dying out. It lead me to use Tumblr sporadically, not posting AS much as I had before. I still had tons of love for everything, and still enjoyed coming on whenever I did!

Then I sort of stumbled upon our “renaissance,” like the lovely @everlarkedalways​ posting re-reads and re-watches. It tugged me in again, and made me excited to post content! I also branched out and began to write Everlark, and began talking about them/the books/meta more than I did in my earlier years. 

And of course, said renaissance lead me to attending TOASTCON LMAO. Which I somehow managed to name. On accident. *Dabs unironically*

That of course, was such an amazing experience. Going to movie filming sites has always been on my bucket list, so getting to go to HUNGER GAMES SITES??? WITH FANDOM PEOPLE???? GOD TIER??????

I was also suffering from major panic/anxiety problems that summer, having just graduated college and being thrown out in the Real World™. So once again, THG and its fandom were there for me when nothing else could be. And despite me feeling off mentally, despite me feeling plagued by fatigue, I still thoroughly enjoyed meeting everyone/having such a once in a lifetime experience. Also, getting to FLEX on my friends when we watch the movies and go like “I WAS THERE! I WAS THERE!! I WAS THERE!!!” is...A Time PFFFF.

Then of course, I started working a full time job, and shifted a bit away from Tumblr/the fandom. Not DELIBERATELY; more like, I was too Mentally Tired to really do much after work. But now that Ballad is here, and now that we have new content once more? I feel like I’m waking back up. Hell, I even went to Atlanta to see MORE film sites right before the virus started to make its rounds.

And so here I am lol! A SEASONED THG VET WITH SEVEN YEARS AND COUNTING UNDER MY BELT. I would very much love to tag everyone who had an impact on me, and/or who I’ve interacted with and shared fun times with over the years. But A. Everyone really out here CONSTANTLY CHANGING THEIR URL’s, and B. The number would be Too Great and I would inevitably forget someone on accident.

SO THEN, if you’re reading this, and we’ve ever shared some kind of THG experience together, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. THG has been such a wondrous experience for me, and it’s lead me to meet all sorts of amazing, talented individuals. It’s also been there for me during darker times, and has supported me in every way possible.

I love you all, I love being here, and HERE’S TO MANY MORE TAGS/RAMBLES IN THE FUTURE LOL! Like lmao, a new movie, you guys??? WHAT??? TRIBUTES REACT ANYONE???

-Jotato Out <3

[thecreaturecrossroads]

Eight People I’d Like to Know Better

𝟎𝟏 ALIAS/NAME: Fred, KJ, KJSupernova, MamaRadFred

𝟎𝟐 BIRTHDAY: December 20th.

𝟎𝟑 ZODIAC SIGN: Sagittarius.

𝟎𝟒 HEIGHT: 5’2’’ and a quarter. I’VE SHRUNK! 8u

𝟎𝟓 HOBBIES: Writing, drawing, cooking, crocheting, reading, painting, singing, watching movies, and DnD.

𝟎𝟔 FAVORITE COLOR: Anything in the Aqua/Turquoise family.

𝟎𝟕 FAVORITE BOOK: Ware’ Hawk & Flight in Yiktor & Dare to go A Hunting by Andre Norton, The Belgariad series, Blood Red by Mercedes Lackey, Talking to Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede

𝟎𝟖 LAST SONG: Demons by Imagine Dragons

𝟎𝟗 LAST FILM/SHOW: Hotel Transylvania 3, and Josh Gates Expedition Unknown. I like this guy. He genuinely loves his job and history and is a goof ball.

𝟏𝟎 INSPIRATION: I like mythology from around the world, I like cryptids, and I’ve always loved movies and books where monsters and things live in the normal world alongside humans.

𝟏𝟏 STORY BEHIND URL: I originally was part of a group that started from a Monster High School premise. It was wild and fun and it let me explore my love for monsters in a modern setting. Andressa and her Brother where they. Then it ended and many of the participants wanted to continue interacting with each other in a college/adult setting and I was down for that. And I added some more characters. Kang, Cairi, Puck, and a few others. I had to abandon that second account because I couldn’t keep up with two accounts. That group ran it’s course but I didn’t want to abandon this side-blog and my characters so I added more characters, and just made it a Multimuse. The name is simple, Creature because I didn’t want to use ‘Monster’ because now I had Faeries and Alien angels and such and for some reason I don’t consider them monsters? XD And Crossroads because there are many characters. Like a crossroad has different pathways for a person to take I have many characters and little worlds for them to move in that people can choose from. Modern or not.  

Tagged By: @distoretion

Tagging: @blatantlyclique (I don’t know that many people anymore sadly)

[moonexile]

𝟶𝟶𝟷.  ( ALIAS / NAME )  :   cj

𝟶𝟶𝟸.  ( BIRTHDAY ) :   if i was born a day later,  luther and i would share <3  (not the same year though, tragically)

𝟶𝟶𝟹. ( ZODIAC SIGN ) :   libra.

𝟶𝟶𝟺. ( HEIGHT )  :  5′4 maybe,  i don’t know,  i don’t remember the last time i was measured.  luther from 6′8: hello down there...

𝟶𝟶𝟻. ( HOBBIES ) :  all i do is work and write anymore,  +  listen to music / binge things.  i used to go to concerts a lot,  but that’s also part of my job + obviously not something i’m doing a lot of right now. 

𝟶𝟶𝟼.  ( FAVOURITE COLOUR )  :   teal

𝟶𝟶𝟽.  ( FAVOURITE BOOKS )  :  i wish i could train my brain to allow me to read books so badly

𝟶𝟶𝟾.  ( LAST SONG LISTENED TO ) :   tightrope by lp.

𝟶𝟶𝟿.  ( LAST FILM OR SHOW WATCHED )  :  twd

𝟶𝟷𝟶.  ( INSPIRATION FOR MUSE )  :    people who know me / have written with me for a while know that my type of favorite muse is generally the character who opposes the protagonist while showing the same story  & experiences from a different perspective  --  and is generally hated by the fandom because they’re unwilling to see that their side is just as valid.  it’s a bit more complicated with luther,  obviously.  the characters in tua don’t exactly fit that mold but in a sense,  that’s him and vanya.  both he and vanya had done something destructive in very different ways,  and their experiences growing up are definitely different  ----  but their isolation is very similar on different ends of the spectrum.  all of the siblings have their flaws / do bad things --  and luther did something awful,  but it’s how he got to that point because of his experiences that i always found interesting,  especially knowing his intentions + knowing that something like what he did wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t feel like he was genuinely going to protect people  (  all in all,  doesn’t make it okay in the end,  but still absolutely interesting to dive into.  )  basically,  i love to rant about why a character is the way they are and how they got there and how they’re not actually that different from their “opponents” (  or rather, just the people they opposed that created the circumstance in which people ended up hating them for. )  a lot of people in this fandom like to dumb luther down to just someone who “whines about the moon” as if it isn’t a direct result of his trauma and i always thought his story was extremely important to tell,  which is why i always cared for him.  i’m also very intrigued by stories of isolation,  and luther’s isolation goes far beyond his time on the moon.  there’s so much to develop there.   i think i’ve also just recently been more interested in space in general in the past year because of other various muses i’ve written so i love looking at imagery regarding that and how it relates to luther. 

𝟶𝟷𝟷.  ( STORY BEHIND URL ) :   i think one of the most important parts of luther’s story is that he wasn’t sent to the moon for a mission  ---  he was sent to the moon because reginald needed to keep him around for his own benefit.  luther was getting restless and reginald was catching on;  eventually,  luther was going to follow in his siblings’ footsteps and move out and discover the world for himself,  and reginald couldn’t let that happen.  luther is a man who needs a mission;  without one,  he starts to get curious  --  so reginald gave him a mission to satisfy that urge and keep him interested.   it’s evident in the conversation that reginald has with klaus:  “i knew the world would soon need him, need all of you. and i had to do what was necessary.”  when you think about the definition of exile being “prolonged separation from one's country or home, as by force of circumstances,”  it goes beyond just being sent away from his home.  it’s being sent away from opportunity,  from the world beyond those walls.  reginald sends him on this mission to ensure that luther never has the chance to discover who he is beyond the umbrella academy,  and he does it in such a twisted manner that luther believes that it’s an honor to go,  that he’s doing something that will ultimately save the world and that his presence on the moon matters.  reginald catered this mission to him  ---  since he was a kid,  he always said he wanted to live on the moon.  reginald took what luther loved & wanted and he used it to his own advantage,  not to luther’s,  and he made him feel like his own selfish greed was for luther’s benefit  ---  even though luther was literally suffering on that moon,  physically and mentally,  but it was under the guise of doing what mattered and what was important,  so he bared it and convinced himself there was a reason  (  which is why it’s so heartbreaking to find out there was no real reason.  what was his suffering for then?  )   he will always love and care for the moon,  he will always think of it as his second home,  but he understands now that he was sent there for forced solitude,  that he was exiled from the opportunity of freedom  (”he needs to answer to me for what he did, for sending me up there. i sacrificed everything for him. my entire life.  i never left this house. i never had friends. and for what? for nothing?”).   reginald took something luther loved and turned it into a cage.  i remember associating the moon with exile after my very first watch and saving this url,  despite not having any interest to write any character at the time.  i just find it very defining to his life and important to a lot of the themes in my portrayal. 

[fineliines]

okay so before things get misconstrued, i have seen the post @pocmuzings posted and i have quite a lot to say at least to explain my side of the story. you guys can make the choice to believe me or not but everything on this post is the truth on my end. this is very long and i hope everyone takes the time to read it but it’s just a warning this is long.

first and foremost, you need to understand that i have never once in my entire life said the n word. i grew up in a household where i always knew the weight of that word and it’s heavy connotations my entire life; my mom, grandma and cousins always used the word despite being spanish because they were very racist and stereotyped the black community. i knew of that, i was young when they used the word (probably around elementary school age) and never spoke up because i was a child. however, i’ve always known it’s not the right word to say or is it my place to say it as a non-black poc. i’m unsure if the person sending the anon meant to say i was using the word or if it was my friend at the time in the post but i have never EVER said that word. i would never use that word, i’m not ignorant on it and have always known what it’s implications were.

secondly, the problematic friend in question was someone i knew in my real life. we went to high school together, we met through a mutual friend who looking back on it, that mutual friend sexually assaulted me at one point and BECAUSE of that incident and numerous other things that happened in that small friend group, i pulled away and found solace in this person. his name was cameron, he’s no longer in the rpc so i really don’t care about putting his name out there to help keep track while i write this out. to give more background on this, cameron wasn’t the kind of person i could simply “get rid of” like i could have if he’d been someone i met online. like i said, we went to high school together, we lived in the same town, we became INSEPERABLE-- i vacationed with him and his family on MULTIPLE occasions. my mom and his mom became friends, we spent holidays together, etc. this wasn’t someone i could write off. we met when i was around 15 years old and he was 17 and we stayed friends from me being 15 to around the age of me being 21... in fact, i believe our last outing together was my 21st birthday but that’s irrelevant. i am now 24. throughout the time that we were best friends, however, i got him into rping and we were in the rpc together for an extended period of time. cameron has always been extremely problematic and this was something i didn’t necessarily become aware of until later on in our friendship. we started rping together in american horror story roleplays which is where i first started and in general, those rp’s were very very problematic and dark; it was a completely different time in the rpc compared to now and i am 100% aware of that. 

cameron became notorious for causing drama wherever he went. in the ahs rp we were in, something happened between my character and someone else’s, anon hate was sent to the gossip blog or w/e about my character and it got to the point where i, myself, was being told to kill myself through anon hate because of whatever ship drama was happening. i was 15 years old and people on the internet were telling me to kill myself. cameron stepped in, defended me in the only way he knew how, started drama with the admins for not doing anything to stop the stuff being sent to me or help me and we got kicked out of the group as the solution to their problem. from that moment on, cameron simply never stopped causing problems and i often found myself getting dragged into things with him because we were friends and i stuck up for him because he usually stuck up for me. at some point as i got a little older, maybe 17/18, i can’t remember, me and him joined this subplot rp that this person who sent in the anon was running. yes, cameron and i became friends with the person, she was the admin, things were fine for a while and eventually, things in the group started getting slow so cameron wanted to leave and me, being the person i was at the time, followed him because he was my best friend. i remained somewhat friends with the anon but i always felt like things were strained between us BECAUSE cameron was always up to something; whether it was causing problems in the anon’s various groups she joined or simply leaving because he got bored or just being a general bully, befriending people and manipulating them and being ugly and problematic and racist. i can’t remember the anon ever talking to me about being uncomfortable with his actions because it was years ago and i’ll admit that at the time, it wasn’t important to me because i thought things were fine because her problems with cameron weren’t ever explicitly told TO me. i will admit that from the ages of 15-18, whenever cameron started drama or was problematic or did shitty things, i blindly followed him and never spoke up. i didn’t speak up because i felt like he helped me and defended me and PROTECTED me from my assaulter in real life and all the anon hate i got from this group that i owed him my loyalty. again, please keep in mind, i’ve been friends with him since we were both in high school, he wasn’t someone i could simply write off or get rid of at the time.

i started realizing he wasn’t a good person when i got a little older. i decided to open up a group that was based off college kids and it was based off the college i currently attend, ucf--- genuinely i don’t remember the url of the group but @wonclerland was in it with me because we were friends. cameron joined, obviously and at the time that i was admining, he didn’t do much. people joined who i’d met through a previous rp and to be honest, that group of people and i were 100% a really stupid clique of mean people. they were really mean and petty and ugly and i never said anything to them or about what they said because i wanted to fit in and again, i admit to that. some girl joined the group who went by the name athena or it was her alias, i don’t really know but apparently, she had beef with that group of people who joined and they claimed she was racist but could never properly pull up proof to show me or whatever. as an admin, i was caught in the middle trying to hear every side of the story. cameron befriended athena and all hell broke loose.  i ended up going to playlist live for a day and mistakenly, i had asked one of the people in the little clique of mine to run the main while i was gone for the day. in the span of the 8 hours i was gone, the clique had posted athena’s unfollow despite her not wanting to quit and blah blah blah. i shut down the group because i didn’t know what to do and it make me anxious and stressed. cameron and athena formed a group of friends FROM that group and started to go on the girl who posted the unfollow’s instagram and comment hateful, bodyshaming things. they went as far as editing a picture of the girl on photoshop to look like shrek. i saw this all unfold and realized what kind of person cameron was and decided to TRY to sever ties with him. multiple times after this, i attempted to call him out on his ugly behavior on the tail end of our friendship. we would get into really violent fights in person and he’d come to target where i worked at the time to scream at me and yell at me in person. i called him out for being racist and problematic and using the n word- in return, he took down an entire roleplay we worked on together because he made all the graphics and left the page empty and blank while i was at work and couldn’t do anything about it. him and his boyfriend would call me names, made fun of me when i confided in them and came out as bisexual and told me i was just looking for attention and many other fucking instances where i was made to feel like shit. every time i called him out about stuff he did or said at all, i had to deal with abuse from in person and because i didn’t know how to approach the situation or deal with it, i let him get away with treating other people in the rpc like trash.

cameron and i grew apart after he quit the rpc. he ran out of aliases to use to destroy groups and i was working on actively trying to get out of the wake of destruction him and the friend group that yes, i followed around, left behind. i put forth the effort to work on learning about racism more in depth, i went to therapy to deal with the assaults and stuff i was going through and i used writing to cope with it and found a solid group of people that were actually decent. i admit that i was part of the problem by not saying anything to cameron, i was terrified of him and losing the only friend i had in my real life at the time. i know what he did hurt a lot of people in the rpc, including now the anon, and i realize that my silence until much later was not of any help at all. my activism now isn’t performative--- i’ve tried so hard over the last few years to learn and educate myself on the blm movement and i’m still learning every day. my intentions and heart have never been malicious and i deeply apologize to you, oksi, if you read this because i know it’s you that sent that anon. i’m sorry that my silence and lack of maturity and balls to confront cameron hurt you and i’m sorry for being a part of the problem. i’m sorry to whoever knew me back then and saw the people i surrounded myself with and that i was so focused on fitting in and belonging to a group (even a really fucking shitty one) stop me from speaking up when it mattered the most. i wish that this had been addressed to me privately so i could’ve talked to her and heard her side of the story but i understand that she probably felt uncomfortable and unsafe given our past and who she used to associate me with. i do not and will not ever stand for racism, i’m working every single fucking day to learn and spread resources and educate myself and to not overstep my boundaries or talk over the black community because it’s NOT my place. i can’t speak for the other person mentioned in this post and i hope she comes forward if she feels inclined to and tell her side of the story but this is mine. holding myself accountable for being a part of the problem. 

i’m sorry if any of this upset anyone and if this means i’m going to lose friendships or mutuals over this. i understand and it’s fine. i’m not looking to victimize myself at all and i’m admitting to the fact that i was complacent and silent and i’m really sorry. i’m not like that anymore and i’m always one of the first people to call horrible shit out, probably too much because i spent so much time NOT saying anything out of fear. and if you read any of this, thank you? i don’t know what this is going to do but i hope it helps shed light on my side of the story. again, oksi, i’m really fucking sorry- you don’t have to forgive me at all and i don’t expect you to but i hope you’ll at least hear this out and try to understand i’ve changed and i actively try every single day to be better than i used to be. thank you and sorry again.

[growingarden]

&.   𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓   𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄   𝐈’𝐃   𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄   𝐓𝐎   𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖   𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 !!  

𝟎𝟏 .   ALIAS   /   NAME : :  Hannah ! ‘tis my real name. I used to have an internet alias and I understand them!! but at some point i just went “you know what? My name is a matter of public record anyway” and just stopped using names that weren’t my own (i fully wholly enthusiastically advocate for Young People(TM) using not their real names if they’re going to be on the internet!!! Do not tell strangers your business!!!!!! Also of course anyone who wants to keep that private I just mean like. I was 12 and on the internet and people did not need to know my name when i was 12 and on the internet ya feel??)

𝟎𝟐 .   BIRTHDAY: :  26th November ! (i will be 24 this year.........weird)

𝟎𝟑 .   ZODIAC   SIGN: :  Sagittarius ! (if you’re into the deeper bits, it’s Sag Sun/Gemini Moon/Sag Rising lol)

𝟎𝟒 .     HEIGHT : :  like i think it’s 5′9″ but i don’t actually remember. I am semi-tall. I am taller than my mom and both of my older siblings >:3c

𝟎𝟓 .   HOBBIES: :  reading, writing, arting, i do a little bit of the #gaming (not a lot but a little lol), i don’t know if it counts as a hobby but i find myself increasingly fascinated by linguistics and phonology and how those relate to the way that humans relate to/differ from each other and the role that language(s) play in our social, familial, and formal relationships. Also slang is just really cool. Also accents are really heckin cool

𝟎𝟔 .     FAVOURITE   COLOUR : :  If it’s any variant of a blue-green/teal I like it

𝟎𝟕 .     FAVOURITE   BOOK : :   The Neverending Story by Michael Ende (i have the english edition translated by Ralph Manheim!) It was one of my three top favorite childhood films and then in high school I bought the book and proceeded to carry it around with me everywhere. I drew in the book! I bought a necklace that still has powerful I-feel-safer-when-I’m-wearing-it properties to it. I have tattoo plans!!!! (one day......one day.) Also it’s a really good book for like... allegorically confronting childhood(/teenaged) loss and grief and reconciling what that does to self-image and the relationships that are still to be found. I mean I say that i think it’s just good literature in general but it is ALSO family-friendly and the protagonist is very young so it is through this sort of childhood lens but I think it is rather broadly applicable. At the very least, it sure did Get Me.

𝟎𝟖 .   LAST   SONG : : I have had My Immortal stuck in my head all day without the faintest notion of why

𝟎𝟗 .     LAST   FILM   /   SHOW: :  I watched the 2015 Cinderella at like 4:30 this morning at cried through the WHOLE thing, man. It’s so good. Like unpopular opinion(?) they did that one so good when they took it to live action and have no quite matched the love and sincerity and fun that went into that movie with any of the other remakes. Also Kit’s so flippin cute if I was still running my multi I’d slap him over there so fast I don’t know why I didn’t have him to begin with frick he’s so good he’s so good he’s so good

𝟏𝟎 . INSPIRATION: : You know that line in Hamilton where he says “I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory”? There’s a thing where Lin was talking about the experience of writing/performing that and he said something along the lines of ‘i felt naked but it’s the way to write the really good things that resonate with people’? That. (And that does go for all of my android kids. There was a lot I didn’t Put Out There when I was a teenager and there’s something kind of baring and (hopefully) striking the things that come from these characters as I write them and some of the things I didn’t have the courage to say then in a retrospective space now.)

𝟏𝟏 .     STORY   BEHIND   URL: :  I am bad at urls! and i tend to default to foreign language when i am struggling to think of something. In this case, “liliummalum” being latin and translatable as both “wrong lily” (a thing she thinks of herself) and “false lily” (grounding the truth of the fact that she simply isn’t lily and that, one day, that will be a point of power for her. What she is not becomes a case for what she is, which is so much more than a ghost)

for daisy’s case the original was just the model number because (again) i am bad at urls but then i was sort of digging around about her name’s origins and i already knew that daisy’s are heliotropic and also do that thing some plants do where they close their petals at night and open when the sun rises again - what i didn’t know was that that’s how they got their name, which was at once point “day’s eye” that, over the years, got sort of mushed and squushed into being daisy; there’s a  Geoffrey Chaucer poem where he refers to “the eye of the day” and I was like “chaucer u saucy bitch that’s a good one”

tagged by: @wasscared technically tagged daisy but it’s all me shh

tagging: Go forth and loot and plunder! And tag me!!

[sureinsunlight]

8 People I’d Like To Know Better

Tagged by @the-golden-ghost and it looked fun!

Name/Alias: Emi! ‘Tis a contraction of my full first name Emerson, but I think it has a slightly better ring to it

Birthday: December 1st

Zodiac: In the western one, Sagittarius sun/Virgo moon and rising. In the Chinese one I think I’m... Year of the Rabbit?

Height: 6′2″

Hobbies: Reading, listening to music, taking walks and getting lost because I’m hyperfocused on plants/this one snail I found

Favourite Color: Yellow is a big one... different shades of pink too

Favourite Book: Embassytown by China Miéville (Honorary mention goes to Kitchens of the Great Midwest by K. Ryan Stradal)

Last song I listened to: I’m actively listening to a harp cover of Merry Go Round of Life right now because I found it randomly on youtube and have been playing it on repeat

Last Movie Watched: Master & Commander, it’s an age of sail style navy movie with... russel crowe I think? Papa wanted me to watch it w him cause he really likes it

Inspiration for muse: This here’s my fursona! I’m sort of a diet furry but I love my rat girl v much anyhow

Dream Job: Oh gods... living in a firewatch tower in a national park or something would be neat. Anything that lets me cook/bake and have a garden would be great. And if it let me live near some of my friends too, ‘cause I can get mighty touch-starved

Meaning behind URL: Okay, so a story here-- my original username when I joined was “penumbrathewiccan”, because I was going through a bit of a poser phase in that I really wanted to be wiccan but hadn’t put nearly enough study into knowing what that actually meant. When I realized this and decided to put off neopaganism until I actually learned more abt it and got serious, I changed to “penumbraconfused”, because I had a real fascination with portraying myself as sorta random and perpetually confused. Recently though, I’ve tried to actually figure out things abt both myself and where I stand in the world, and that portrayal didn’t really feel right anymore, so I made my newest URL the complete opposite.

Tag people: Oh boy, let’s see if I have enough people who I think I could bother! Let’s do @the-wanderer-willow, @formytimebeing, @redactedforyoursafety, @lifeisdear, @cosmik-cosmo, @plantcakes, @mikuult, and @tempestleopard! No pressure to y’all and if anyone else wants to do it, sure, but might as well do my part anyways. 

[wethefated]

Getting to Know The Mun

𝟎𝟏. (  ALIAS  /  NAME  )  ——  Harley, but I also answer to Bells. 

 𝟎𝟐.  (  BIRTHDAY  ) ——  June 21st 

 𝟎𝟑.  ( ZODIAC  SIGN  ) ——   Gemini/Cancer cusp.

𝟎𝟒.  (  HEIGHT  )  ——   5′6″

𝟎𝟓.  ( HOBBIES ) ——  Gonna assume this means aside from RP here. I love love love D&D, I’m in five campaigns right now? One is meant to be shorter but it’s going on session four or five instead of one or two like meant lol. I also love videogames of all sorts. I also draw and write too!

𝟎𝟔.  (  FAVORITE  COLOR  )  ——    Teal, Orange or Purple.

𝟎𝟕.  (  FAVORITE  BOOKS ) ——   Mistborn, though I never finished the third because my mum spoiled the ending. I also really want to reread The Circle of Magic by Tamora Pierce because I remember it being amazing and loving it.

𝟎𝟖.  (  LAST  SONG  LISTENED  TO  )  —— You Light My Fire by Nate Ruess

𝟎𝟗.  (  LAST  FILM  OR  SHOW  WATCHED  )  ——   Lucifer

𝟏𝟎.  (  INSPIRATION  FOR  MUSE  )  ——   Lachesis - I don’t know really, she’s changed a lot over the years and the various different people I’ve rped with have influenced her and such. Minthe - Cabaret and Burlesque influenced her a ton. Sophie - Sophie honestly, was created to ship specifically with Thackery from Mad T Party the Disneyland attraction thing. On a 1x1 thread on gaiaonline. And so was made to be sweet and loveable and adorable. She’s since moved on a TON from that one thread but yeah those were her origins. And finally Sally, purely from the movie. It’s been so long since I’ve played her I can’t really speak for this quite yet.

𝟏𝟏.  (  STORY  BEHIND  URL  )  ——   Because I didn’t want to use my old indie url (weofstories) but I wanted something that would be a “we” sorta thing to indicate multimuse so, thus, wethefated since Lachesis was the first muse here.

Tagged By: @irrwicht​

Tagging: Anyone who wants!

[thenexusofsouls]

Seven People I’d Like to Know Better

ALIAS/NAME: Silence Leaflin

BIRTHDAY: 11/28/80

ZODIAC SIGN: Sagittarius

HEIGHT: 5′3″

HOBBIES: Writing, photography, jewelry making, video gaming, stickering/scrapbooking, reading, and collecting things like dolls, antiques, fossils, and movie creature/weapon replicas.

FAVORITE COLOR: Black, now. About a decade ago, blue or purple. When I was little, red.

FAVORITE BOOK: Ugh, so many. Either Wuthering Heights or  Son of Avonar (The Bridge of D'Arnath, Book 1).

LAST SONG: Vampire the Masquerade by Type O Negative (because it’s getting to be that time of year XD)

LAST FILM/SHOW: The Pet Sematary (2019) remake. 

INSPIRATION: Hmm... different things for different muses. For Michael, it’s the combination of angel mythology, his source movie, and Paul Bettany’s performance as him. I have always been fascinated by angel/demon psychology and how they are portrayed in different religious contexts and fantasy settings. For Veridian, I am just heavily inspired every time I look at the sculpture that originally caused me to make him. His physiology is unlike most merfolk I’ve seen in movies or art and that inspired me to develop his story as to why he looks that way and how it has affected him. For Marie and Martha, it’s the deeply emotional source movies they come from and Elizabeth Olsen’s incredibly moving performances in them that inspire me, as well as the potential for changing or continuing their tragic stories into something better for them (if I can just manage to get them threads, heh). For Tony, it’s largely Iron Man 3, but we also listen to some of the same music, haha, so that always helps get me in the mood to write him. For Natasha, it’s mostly her story, her strength, and all the things she doesn’t say. In other words, I enjoy fleshing out things like downtime and between-missions things with her, the moments we don’t get to see. The Avengers movies are a huge source of inspiration but also some of Scarlett Johansson’s other movies like Under the Skin (2013) and Lucy (2014). And the movie Anna (2019) as well. Her FC wasn’t in that but the story of the protagonist in it was a total Natasha story. For Clint, it’s the Avengers movies but also his relationship with Natasha and others in the MCU world. I enjoy trying to flesh him out more while still maintaining him in within the mesh of friends and family he’s got going in that world. For Marya, it’s Noomi Rapace’s performance in Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, that’s what originally inspired me to write the character, but also the endless potential for the exclusively comic character mixing with MCU characters, as she was never in any of the movies.

STORY BEHIND URL: So the word “nexus” and the avatar I use are from a video game called Demon’s Souls, the precursor to the Dark Souls series of games. The Nexus in that game was kindof a starting point for the player because there would be portals you could go through that led you to each of the worlds or levels you had to get through to complete the game. But also, it was a lingering point for wandering, troubled, or lost souls. Whenever you would return to the Nexus, there might be the ghost of a dead knight or lady or whoever that you can talk to, just suspended there in time and thinking about their final moments or regrets they had. Sometimes things they said led to side quests or would help you in your travels. It was like a hub for souls to pass through in that regard, so it seemed like a pretty fitting name for a multimuse blog. This is what the nexus looks like... it’s covered in magical wards, some of which are in my avatar for this blog. It has a Labyrinth (1986) vibe, if you ask me, heh. This is also used as the header image for my blog:

My OOC tag “{i am the caretaker of souls}” refers to the Maiden in Black, a mysterious character never fully explained in the game but who is always there in the Nexus to guide the player and explain about the various souls one encounters in the Nexus or beyond:

She would be in a different place each time you returned to the Nexus, sometimes standing in a corner or in the center of the floor, sometimes sitting on the stairs, sometimes letting her legs dangle over the side. It always gave her a feeling in my mind of a wise and unrushed sense of time not mattering, like she had all the time in the world to linger there, or maybe that she was trapped there but didn’t mind so much. And yet she seemed to care about all the souls that passed through the Nexus. That she would move around each time you returned, be in different places, kick her dangled legs playfully, fiddle around with her staff... it evoked such a feeling of her really being alive in this world she lived in. She was blind, her eyes covered up, and yet she was wise and all-knowing as concerned the souls the player would face in the game. She was very much like a caretaker for them, not just explaining about them but also watching over them in a sometimes protective manner. She seemed like a good inspiration for the tag, heh. Aaaand that explained a lot more than just my url but that’s okay, you’re welcome. XD

tagged by: @murder-popsicle​

tagging: Anyone who wants to do this! ^_^

[sunlitjardin]

1. ( ALIAS / NAME ) ——   My irl name is Star but I also go by Gloomy for certain online stuff (like fandom stuff etc etc).:-)

2.  ( BIRTHDAY ) ——  May 18th

3.  ( ZODIAC SIGN ) ——   Taurus 

4.  ( HEIGHT ) ——    uhh tbh i’m not sure but I think I’m 5″5 xD

5.  ( HOBBIES ) —— drawing, reading, dolls/figures/garage kits, archiving, anime/manga, fashion, crafting, sometimes video games (current obsession; animal crossing), daydreaming, listening to way too much music lol, researching on vintage manga/anime/japanese art and culture/erotic art/vintage magazines/etc, collecting, shopping or just browsing/window shopping, writing, graphic design, web design, etc.

6.  ( FAVORITE COLOR ) ——   UHHHH i love all the colours i have SUCH a hard time picking. i love to wear blacks/reds/golds the most (tho lately i really like wearing anything that has fun patterns on them). But yellow is a colour that makes me happy..;0; and i love pink so much i wish all my stuff was pink LOL so i’d say rainbow is my fav colour!!8D /yes i’m just indecisive lol

7.  ( FAVORITE BOOKS ) ——  honestly, not sure cause i generally don’t read all that much books for some reason. BUT i read like.......a lot of manga lol so some of my faves would have to be; rose of versailles, devilman, cruel god reigns, otherworld barbara, deep love (the entire series), maya's funeral procession, confidential confessions, terra e..., shiroi heya no futari, kaze to ki no uta, the heart of thomas, fire! (even if i never read it i love it fight me), night flower, watashitachi no shiawase na jikan and uhhhh i can’t think of any more. 

8.  ( LAST SONG LISTENED TO ) —— Paradise by EPO

9.  ( LAST FILM OR SHOW WATCHED ) —— Currently watching Lost Song on netflix.:-)

10.  ( INSPIRATION FOR MUSE ) ——   Hmmmm well, i’ve been writing so many au’s and headcanons as well as some fics for the past couple of/several(?) years now; so it’s a bit hard to pinpoint. depending on the au or headcanon, he might act different n stuff--it would all depend on the plot and environment, etc. however, for this particular rp blog, i try to stay more on the canon side of things; except i try to write him more how i wish he acted in the series. he’s a total sweetheart but sometimes the way he’d react to something etc made me think no that isn’t andre!!>:( (like that time he found out rosalie loved oscar and he just says oh don’t worry u’ll get over her and find a man to really fall in love. NO. that is NOT the andre i know!!>:( he’d never say that he’s a big gay bi disaster too. he’d be more supportive and they’d help each other because man oscar is oblivious--i love her sm tho lol). and i guess i put stuff i like unto him like being kind to others and stuff i’m just....a sucker for cute, fluffy, sweet characters gehuiffej also my current obsession with animal crossing has made his sweetness factor go 100 times higher; especially since i put him in as a character lol but either way, i always found andre to be a very kind character. I also take insp from other characters that i like.:P but like even without all my head canons he's a very kind character and i just love him.;_;

11.  ( STORY BEHIND URL ) ——  i got inspired by the soundtrack from utena; sunlit garden.:-) i’ve always loved that particular song and have used it for inspiration for many scenes/aus/headcanons for not just andre, but for other characters and oc’s as well.:-) i felt like it’d be fitting for him; especially since he’s a bit of a country boy and i like to think he likes to garden and that him and oscar would often just lay underneath the trees n stuff.:-) unfortunately, someone beat me to the punch; i could have put a bunch of dashes in my url but...idk i’ve personally never liked putting dashes in my urls for some reason (ever since i was like, 10 when i had my first website). so i wanted to find an alternative instead. i was going to put it fully in french, but i didn’t like how it sounded; so i just put garden in french instead (jardin). not my ideal url i wanted sunlit garden very badly but i think this is also fitting; especially since andre is french!:-)

tagged by @somnium-delicata​ !!!!:-) also i felt like drawing a silly and cute doodle of andre so i put it in this reply.^0^