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#now this could be about dean himself or dean could be talking about cas
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My Spn Finale Thoughts:
As the ending of a show: 7/10
As the ending of Supernatural : 2/10
Let's start with the super obvious: things that Dont Make Sense.
Dean didn't know vampires were real until some way into s1 (ep16?) and yet knew John's journal almost off by heart, but never saw the clown mime vampires written into the journal? Hm.
At the start of the episode, we have Dean saying something like "to honour their legacies all we have to do is keep living" then literally dies 20 minutes later, completely dishonouring Cas' sacrifice
Where the Hell did Miracle go???
Who was Sam's blurry wife? Why wasn't she in any of the photos on the mantelpiece? Speaking of, where were all of Sam's friends, like Charlie, Kevin maybe, Ellen and Jo etc? Jody and Donna??
Why would Bobby say Cas helped when we don't even get to see him (i will come back to this thought later on)??
Stuff I liked/tolerated:
The CONCEPT of the emotional Sam and Dean talk
OG number plate on Baby
Ellen's Roadhouse
Sam getting to have a family
Stuff I didn't like:
How the emotional talk was done. 1st off, why is the camera focusing on their hands so much, why did they touch foreheads ew? Also Sam's "you can go now" was completely uncalled for like, did he want Dean to die???
Obviously how Dean died. He could have been sent into outer space with the Mark of Cain, he could have been locked at the bottom of the ocean in a Mal'Ak box, he could have stayed in Hell forever, but no. A rusty nail on a hunt he probably didn't even want to do,, he was applying for a JOB.
Jack didn't get to have a childhood and grow up. It would have been so much better for emotional connection to have Jack de-aged to grow up as a normal kid instead of Dean Jr whom we had NO emotional connection to, and only existed to say the same like to Sam that Dam said to Dean.
No representation for the girls or any of the side characters in general.
No resolving Dean and Cas. At this point I wouldn't care what they talked about but they should NOT have only briefly mentioned him just so he wouldn't have to show up.
DEAN DIDNT GET TO LIVE A LIFE. Thats all hes ever wanted. At some points even more than Sam. He had a job application and could have made himself a life but no it was his destiny to die like that or something (more on this later too). Tbf id rather him live his life alone than with a random person we've never seen before (that or Cas but they obviously couldn't choose that one)
My idea of what Actually Happened (aka Chuck Won Theory):
They try to separate the idea of destiny and Chuck's pre-written path, but they are one and the same. 15x20 is exactly the unsatisfying, mediocre ending Chuck wants to punish them with.
Dean's heaven is designed to make him want to stay. Everyone he loves within reach, the mention of a Cas that isn't in the empty (leaving Dean with no motivation to free him of hes 'already out') and the promise Sam will eventually arrive.
Chuck's ending still happened. One of them still got killed. Chuck's still pulling the strings and they are all still in the Hamster Wheel.
Overall: it ended the show. It didn't end Supernatural.
@hostofthepersever @duomaxwellandducks
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turtles-invoked · 2 days
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I like to think that while Cas was waiting for Dean to drink his coffee in 13x6 they engaged in a bit of small talk…
“How are you, Dean,” Cas says as he sits back down in his seat and watches Sam and Jack leave.
Dean smiles into his cup and swallows another mouthful, “I’m good.”
“Are you?”
Dean breathes out, “yeah, man,” in genuine relief.
“Sam said you were… ‘going through it’,” he says using air quotes with his fingers.
Dean takes another mouthful and sits back in the couch, “well yeah… you died, Cas. Scorched wings, cold body, and all. You were dead. And mom had gone off into the alternate dimension, Crowley sacrificed himself for us, Lucifer was still alive, and Jack…” Dean rubs his eyes and pinches his nose and takes a moment before he continues, “I was the one who wrapped your body. I was the one to burn you. Of course I was going through it.”
Dean doesn’t make eye contact but he can see Castiel fidgeting in his seat. He can see how upset and uncomfortable he is, and Dean can’t watch it. So he sinks himself a little further into the couch and drinks his coffee until the mug is empty, but even then he pretends it isn’t so they don’t have to leave yet.
Out of the corner of his eyes, Dean can see Cas stand up and walk to the bench with the coffee pot and brings it over to the couch, sitting down next to Dean.
Dean feels his face flush as Cas holds out the pot, gesturing to fill his cup back up. Embarrassment floods through his cheeks as he realises Cas knew he was faking the last few sips.
“I’m sorry,” he says softly and places the empty pot on the table in front of them, “I’m sorry I left you.”
Dean shakes his head, “it’s okay.”
“I’m sorry,” Cas says again, placing a warm and heavy hand on Dean’s arm.
Blood floods to his cheeks and warms his face so Dean hides it in his mug.
“You really don’t know how you woke up?” Dean asks.
Cas shakes his head, “I heard my name. Even the empty was confused. Angry… but confused.”
Dean frowns into his next mouthful, “and there was no one else?”
“There was nothing. It was so dark, I couldn’t see my hands in front of me. All I could think about was you and Sam and what you guys might have done to bring me back…” Cas gazes to his hands clasped together and resting in his lap.
“Im sorry we didn’t try,” Dean says quietly between them, “I really didn’t think we could. I mean- you were…” he trails off.
“I know,” Cas says, “I know. I’m not mad. I’m glad you didn’t do anything stupid,” he chuckles. And Dean does too.
“I nearly broke my hand punching a door” Dean laughs breathily.
“I’m sorry,” Cas says again, guilt painting his words.
“Don’t be. You’re here now. That’s all that matters,” Dean gives Cas the most genuine smile he could muster, and the relief on Cas’s face fills his heart with gratitude.
So Dean chugs the last few mouthfuls, claps Cas’s knee, and stands, “Well, I’ll get dressed and we’ll hit the road,” he says with a huff and walks to their room with a skip in his step as he eyes their uniforms for their cover. Man does he love cowboys.
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bisaster-energy · 1 year
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okay what you have to understand is that while against the kitchen floor is a dean song...willard! has cas written all over it
#guess who really started listening to will wood 😳#like just listen to me ok hear me out...#i dont owe u my heart or my body but shit i do fuckin owe u and im so sorry that i cannot be good as u are#the irony of dean not thinking of himself as human as cas learned to be is not lost on me#and even tho he fucks up constantly he cant bring himself to want cas to end their relationship (wtv it may be)#apologizing for the way he is bc tbh if dean never figures out how he feels simply because he himself doesn't know#what he wants he probably would end up just giving cas.his body because he owes him something and#he cant figure out what he can possibly give in the face of that all consuming frankly terrifying love#ahem. onto willard#ik i said cas knows how to be human but that's in dean's eyes. cas doesn't get being human at all even tho he does (?)#like his homeless/steve arc he cant get a grasp on how humans do all the things they do and live they way they live#the beginning of the song he talks about not being able to step on ants and crying for moths#now that could be cas talking about actual insect but ALSO humans! bc he's learned to care!!#but yea if cas had some sort of animal he saw every now and then while on the street? a cat or a rat etc that's how i envision#him with this song#he himself has been stepped on so many times! it started to feel like his place! not truly part of the winchesters not truly angel#just cas now...#is there room for me in your cage whether that be earth or a real rat he feels he understands#it's confusing for him to connect! never learned what to feel from childhood like humans do!#he was thrown into the deep end#they call me crazy but their words all seem made up to me -> honeybee cas fr#also i can see steve bringing a little creature into the gas n sip his own little guy#also the peace vs freedom thing. animals are put in cages. humans locked in heaven.#and cas has achieved free will but he has to wrestle with whether it's better to be content or break chains#you might seem behind bars but friend this cage is inside out! dean and sam are trapped in this destiny#but they both say fuck it !! but heaven wasn't just a cage to humans it's a cage for angels too#yeah ur fate is fucked but at keast you had a fate to change yknow. cas didn't just change his story#he didn't have one so he literally wrote it#i can't listen to this song without thinking about cas human hungry and alone#it's AWFUL out here socrates. it's DANGEROUS out here socrates. it's lonely out here socrates 🤡🤡🤡
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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 26 days
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Chances
Sam and Dean & nephilim!reader, Cas & nephilim!reader
Requested by Anonymous
Synopsis: Gabriel messes around and ends up creating a nephilim, and Cas is tasked with keeping the kid safe.
A/N: guys I finally finished a request! Hopefully the next one won’t take me so long, you guys have been so patient as I start up college again.
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“I need you to do something for me.”
Gabriel’s appearance at the bunker a month after Angel radio went nuts over a nephilim’s creation was unexpected and unwanted, to say the least.
“From us?” Dean narrowed his eyes at the archangel. “Don’t tell me you’re the one who—“
“Not you, Winchesters. I’m talking to Castiel.”
Castiel looked up in surprise at this declaration.
“My help? And why would I—“
“The nephilim is mine. And she’s growing fast.”
“She?” Sam asked. Gabe offered him a half glance.
“Yes, she. I can feel it. And she’s going to be born any day now.”
“What does that have to do with me?” Castiel demanded.
“I can’t keep her safe,” Gabriel admitted after a moment’s hesitation, his features tightened. “If I get anywhere near her, there’s a line of enemies that will follow. I need her somewhere safe, and I can’t take her there.” Gabriel swallowed, glancing at the brothers before looking back at Castiel. “This is the safest place I could think of.” Before Dean could interrupt, Gabriel raised his voice and continued. “The warding will keep out most enemies, and it’s nearly undetectable to angels.”
“We can’t just house a nephilim!” Dean exclaimed. “Not happening. No way.”
“I have no other options, no one else to go to,” Gabriel pleaded. “She’s just a baby—“
“A baby with power,” Sam added. “And we don’t know how much power.”
“She’s innocent,” Gabriel added. “She’s just a baby, and she doesn’t deserve to get hunted down like this. There’s nowhere else she can go—it’s either the bunker, or she’s dead.”
This time, Gabriel’s argument was met with silence. Castiel was the first to break it.
“You want me to retrieve her, and bring her here.”
“It’s her only chance.” None of the boys had ever seen Gabriel look so humble—so vulnerable.
“I’ll do it.”
“Cas—“
“No, Dean,” Cas interrupted him. “I have to do this.”
“Let us come with you,” Sam spoke up.
“Sam!” Dean turned to his brother, thunderstruck.
“No,” Cas said. “I should go alone, it’s safer.”
“You shouldn’t be going at all!” Dean insisted. “We don’t know what—“
“This being deserves a chance,” Cas interrupted. “And I’m going to give it to her.”
Gabriel left quickly to go into hiding, and Cas left soon after. The address Gabriel gave him was only a few hours away, but when Cas got there he arrived to a surprise.
The mother—Cas had no idea who she was—was already dead. Cas was just beginning to panic when he heard crying, and he rounded the bed to see you—a little toddler, crying on the floor at the foot of the bed.
“Hey, hey it’s alright,” Cas soothed as he wrapped a nearby blanket around your shivering, unclothed body. “Hey, you’re safe now.” He had no idea how or why you were already a toddler, but he figured it didn’t matter—as long as he could get you safe.
You stopped crying as soon as you were in Cas’s arms, your big Y/E/C eyes blinking up at the angel.
“You’re going to be alright little one,” Cas said. “I promise.”
Considering the dead woman on the bed not three feet away, Cas felt that his promise was less than convincing, but you relaxed completely into him, your little arms wrapping around his neck and holding on tight.
Cas carried you out to his car—he wasn’t so sure about angel transportation with a newborn nephilim, so human transportation was his choice—while keeping his eyes peeled for any interference, of which there was, thankfully, none.
“I suppose I should get you some food and some clothing,” Castiel said, mostly to himself, although if you spoke up he’d be grateful. You didn’t, though; you just blinked up at him with those big eyes, and Cas felt more lost than ever.
He knew enough about humans—and you were at least half human—to know that babies only drank milk, and as they got older they gained an affinity for solid foods. But you were somewhere between a newborn and a toddler. Would milk be enough to sustain you? Would you even understand how to eat solid foods? It was all confusing for an angel who already felt out of his depth.
Castiel stopped at the first store he came across, and he carried you with him—you were still wrapped in that blanket he had grabbed from your mother’s house—as he started to grab anything he thought he’d need to take care of you, including a lot he probably didn’t need. As soon as he’d paid for everything, he carried you into the family restroom so he could get you into the clothes he’d picked up, as you still seemed too young to be capable of dressing yourself.
“Alright,” Castiel said after you were dressed, looking at you long and hard for a moment before sighing in near-defeat. “I don’t know why your father picked me for this mission, Sam or Dean would be much better at—“ a crash from somewhere outside the restroom had Castiel whipping around, prepared for a threat. But the door remain closed, and whatever had made noise was now silent.
Castiel turned back around only when he felt a tug on his arm. He looked down to see you—but he didn’t have to look as far down as he expected. Cas blinked in surprise, taking in the sight of you, now maybe six inches taller and a few years older, the clothes on you stretched and far too small.
“What…” Cas breathed, unsure what to even ask.
You just tugged at his hand again, gripping it firmly in your shaking hands.
“I’m scared.” It was the first words Cas had heard you speak, and they snapped him back into focus.
“I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. Now how did you get so big?”
You just blinked up at Cas, apparently unwilling to speak again.
“It’s ok,” Cas sighed. “It doesn’t matter, I just…let’s get you some bigger clothes and get you out of here.”
Cas led you out towards the clothing section, turning his back on you for just a second to find the right size. But once he turned around again, you were gone.
“Hey!” Cas realized just then that he didn’t know your name. He whirled around frantically, trying to catch sight of you between the racks of clothing. He rushed down aisle after aisle, freezing when he got to the third one and saw a girl that looked suspiciously like you, but was now three inches taller, being cornered by a large man whose eyes flashed black.
Cas didn’t speak, he just took four large strides, and as soon as the demon turned to look at him, he stretched out his hand and placed it against the demon’s forehead. There was a flash of light behind the demon’s eyes, and he dropped to the floor after only a second. You looked from the dead demon to Castiel in awe.
“Why do you keep getting bigger?” Castiel sighed, bending down slightly to look you in the eye.
“I wasn’t big enough to stop him.” Your voice came out in a quiet whimper—you were shaking in fear. “It was scary, so I wanted to get bigger, and…and then I just did.” Your big eyes were gonna be the death of Cas, he just knew it; especially when they were filled with tears like now. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Hey, no, it’s ok, it’s just…not many people can do that. Most people have to say the size they are until they grow.” You still looked concerned, so Cas waved it off. “It doesn’t matter, you didn’t do anything wrong. Now let’s get you into some bigger clothes and get you safe.”
At this point, you looked like a young teenager, so Castiel went to a different clothes section to find you something. You held his hand the whole way, which Cas was grateful for—he didn’t want to lose you again.
Cas picked up a size for you and sent you off to put it on, making sure he could see you entering and leaving the bathroom. While you were gone, he grabbed about three more sizes in case you spontaneously grew again.
“I’m ready,” you said as you returned to Castiel.
“Ok…” Cas stared at you for a moment. “Do…do you know your name?”
“My name…” you pondered the question for a long moment. “Yes, I…Y/N. I remember my mother calling me that…before I was born. She named me Y/N.”
Cas smiled.
“Ok then. Y/N it is.”
Once you were ready, Cas led you out to his car and the two of you were finally on your way again. The car went along in silence for several miles, but Cas could tell you were contemplating something, and after a while you finally got up the courage to speak.
“Are you my father?”
The question shouldn’t have surprised Cas, but he froze up the moment it left your mouth.
“I…no, I’m not,” he said finally. “Your father’s name is Gabriel. He wanted to be here, really, but it was too dangerous. He…let’s just say he has a lot of enemies.”
“Is that why my mother is dead?” Your voice was more subdued this time, and the question again froze Castiel.
“No, little one,” Cas began hesitantly. How could he tell you that your mother died giving birth to you? “Your mother, she…she chose to save you, rather than herself.”
“Save me?” You prodded. “Is it because I…I can do things, like grow?”
“Kind of.” Castiel ran a hand over his face, willing the car ride to end. “Your father is an archangel, and that makes you a nephilim. But your mother, she was just a human. She…she couldn’t bring you into this world and survive, her body wasn’t strong enough.”
Your silence was starting to scare Cas more than your questions.
“So…so I killed my mom?” It was with tears in your eyes that you finally spoke again.
“No,” Castiel insisted. “No, you did not choose any of this, this isn’t your fault. Your mother and father made their choices, you’re just the result of them. But your mother’s death is not on you.”
“It still feels like it is,” you mumbled. “How…how do I miss someone I’ve never met?” You blinked up at Cas, and he swore he’d never felt more out of his depth.
“Look, I…I know that you don’t have your parents here right now, but I’m going to look after you. I’m going to take you to a safe place, and I promise that you’re going to be alright.”
“Why are you helping me?” You asked. Cas barely had to think about the answer to this.
“Because I believe that you deserve a chance, the same as anyone else. You’ve got powers, little one. Powers that might scare some people. But I think that you’re good, and I’m not scared of you just because of your strength.”
“What if I’m not good?” Your gaze faltered, falling away from Cas’s. “What if you should be scared of me?”
“Good isn’t something that you’re born as,” Cas said. “It’s something you choose. You can choose good, if you want to.”
“I do,” you insisted. “I just…I don’t think I know how.”
A hint of a smile crossed Cas’s lips.
“Well I can try to teach you. And my friends, they will too.”
The rest of the ride to the bunker passed uneventfully, but Cas began to get nervous the closer he got to the bunker. He was all but forcing this nephilim onto Sam and Dean, so how would they react when he arrived? Would they be scared of you, or force Cas to leave? Would they not want to put themselves in danger to help some non-human?
It didn’t seem like the Sam and Dean that Cas knew, but then again they’d never been presented with a nephilim before.
“Your friends.” Your words startled Cas out of his thoughts. “Are they…like you?”
“You mean angels?” Cas had explained who he was to you. “No, no they’re human. But they like to help people. I believe they’ll help you.” Cas had to believe it—he had to.
“You’re back.” Dean’s greeting seemed less then happy as he stared Cas down. “Where’s the—“
“Hello.”
Dean‘s gaze whipped around from Cas to you as you stepped up beside Cas.
“What the—I thought she was just born.” Dean looked back at Cas, questions swimming behind his eyes.
“She was, she uh…she grew up fast,” Cas offered lamely.
“Why?” Sam spoke up for the first time, eying you nervously, but he didn’t look as threatening as Dean.
“I got scared,” you said. “So I had to grow up fast.”
“What’s your name?” Sam asked before Dean could say anything else.
“I’m Y/N.” Sam noticed the way you were almost hiding behind Cas. He couldn’t tell if you were scared of him, or just shy, but either way he tried to make himself look as non threatening as possible.
“Well, I’m Sam and this is my brother, Dean. C’mon down here and we can show you where to sleep.” Sam pointedly ignored Dean’s glare. “Do you need anything to eat?”
“No, I’m not hungry,” you decided after a moment of pondering.
“Good, now you can explain to us what kind of powers you have and how you plan to use them,” Dean cut in, ignoring the glares from Sam and Cas.
“I…” the question froze you, and Cas jumped in.
“Dean, it’s been a long day. Just let her get some sleep.”
“Oh, sure, and while she’s sleeping, every demon and angel on earth is pulling out all the stops to get to her! I mean she could be working with any of them!”
“Why would she work with them?” Sam demanded. “They want her dead.”
“Yeah, or they want to use her powers! She could’ve cut a deal with them.”
“Dean, she’s just a kid,” Cas interjected.
“Yeah, a kid who was a baby a couple hours ago. She’s not normal, she’s a freak! Who knows what else she’ll do?”
“Dean, calm down—“ Sam’s attempt at keeping the peace just made Dean angrier.
“Calm down?! We have a nephilim in our house, and we don’t know what it can do!”
“She’s not an i-“ Cas’s interruption went completely unnoticed by Dean.
“And we don’t know what side it’s on! Gabriel was always switching sides, what makes you think this kid is gonna be any different?”
“Dean, she doesn’t even know Gabriel,” Cas argued.
“But he’s still the father. She could still—“
“Stop it!” Your outburst froze all three men, and it took you a prolonged minute to realize why; they couldn’t move. By just your word, you’d rendered them incapable of doing anything but stare at you—Sam and Cas in amazement, Dean in anger. “I didn’t…” your gaze focused on Cas, almost pleading with him to help you. “I-I didn’t mean to. I didn’t—I don’t know how to stop it.” You stared down at your hands, and then back up. “I didn’t mean it! Let them go!”
The three men moved simultaneously as their joints relaxed and their legs moved. Dean took a half step back from you, Sam stayed where he was, and Cas came up to stand in front of you.
“It’s ok,” he whispered as you started to shake. “I know you didn’t mean to, it’s ok.”
“I’m sorry,” you whimpered. “I don’t think I can control this.”
Cas knelt down, his blue eyes locking onto yours.
“I know you can. I’m going to help you.”
“Me too.” You hadn’t noticed Sam approaching you until his hand was on your shoulder. “I know a little bit about self control.”
Dean lingered in the corner, wariness etched onto his features, but the anger was somewhat dissipated.
“Come with me,” Sam continued—he was still ignoring Dean’s glares. “I’ll get you settled in.”
You let Sam lead you down a hallway. You could hear Dean start to yell at Castiel the moment you left the room, and Cas was yelling right back.
“Uh, this room is empty,” Sam said, stopping in front of a door. “So you can use it.”
“Ok,” you mumbled, standing in front of the door and rocking back and forth on your heels. “I’m sorry for being so much trouble,” you added, your head ducked low.
“Your dad has helped us out before,” Sam said. “So I’m glad you’re here—I want to help you.”
“Dean said my dad did bad stuff, too,” you said.
“Yeah, he…is a complicated man.” Sam shook his head, a wry smile on his face. “Well, anyway…” Sam opened up the door to your room, stepping back so you could go inside. You took a hesitant step inside before turning around and looking up at Sam, as if worried he was going to leave.
“What should I do if the demons or angels come inside?” You asked, your voice tight and high pitched.
“Hey.” Sam put a comforting hand on your shoulder. “You don’t have to worry about that, trust me. They don’t know where this place is, and it’s warded. They can’t get to you, we won’t let them.”
Your features visibly relaxed.
“Ok.” You found yourself wrapping your arms around the kind man before you’d really made the decision to do it. “Thank you.”
He was stiff for a moment, but quickly he reciprocate the hug.
“You’re gonna be ok,” he promised.
The next week passed about as Cas had expected, although even he was surprised at how eager Sam was to help you. Sam hung around the bunker the entire week, getting you used to life on earth and everything you didn’t know.
Dean however, remained fairly hostile. But things weren’t as bad as they’d been the first day, and Cas was even starting to notice Dean warm up to you in little ways; making a little extra food at breakfast, letting you join him in the Dean cave when he was watching something—things like that.
You might have gotten too comfortable around Dean based on his attitude, because when Dean announced to the general area that he had found a hunt you spoke up—
“I’ll help!”
The trio of men looked over at you with varying degrees of surprise.
“Are you sure?” Cas asked.
“No!” Dean insisted. “You’re staying here, I’m not babysitting some kid on the hunt.”
“I don’t want you to babysit me,” you argued. “I want to help.”
“Sam, help me out here,” Dean demanded. When Sam seemed reluctant, Dean groaned, “oh come on!”
“Well, maybe she can help!” Sam offered. “Give her a chance.”
Dean glanced from Sam to Cas, hoping one of them would break. When they didn’t, he huffed in annoyance, but his shoulders slumped.
“Fine.”
The long car ride was going surprisingly well. Dean’s music was your first introduction to the art, and your enthusiastic response instantly gained you brownie points with Dean.
Each and every song that came on elicited the same response from you—
“Is this the best one?”
And every time the brothers would respond at the same time, Dean with a “yes!” And Sam with a “no!” All in all, Cas couldn’t have asked for a better bonding experience.
“Alright,” Dean said after a while, turning the music down. “We’ll be there soon, so we need to talk this out. From all appearances, it’s a vampire—a nest, actually. Now as soon as we locate it, I want Sam and Cas to be ready with the dead man’s blood, and…” Dean seemed to be rethinking his plan for a moment, before he made up his mind… “and I want the kid with me.” Dean’s eyes met yours in the rearview mirror, and his voice was suddenly more firm. “You need to be careful, and you need to not be in the way. Do you understand me?”
You were trying to hide your excited smile as you replied.
“Yes sir.”
You didn’t help. Or stay out of the way. In fact, barring lost limbs or lives, the hunt couldn’t have gone much worse, and you knew it was your fault.
Your first sight of a vampire scared you so much, that some of your nephilim energy came from you without you planning on it, blasting several vamps—and unfortunately Dean—away from you. Unfortunately, that blast of power had you thinking that maybe you could take on the vamps magically. This tactic just meant that you got in Dean’s way, and your magic didn’t respond the way you wanted it to—it didn’t respond at all.
Because of this, nearly half the vampires got away, and the ones that didn’t went straight for the easy target; you.
You were on the floor with a vampire drinking from your neck before Dean was even able to start swinging. He took out the two vampires that went for him before he able to get to you. He pried the vampire away from your neck before taking care of it with a single swing.
“Are you crazy?!” You were gasping for breath, blood mingling with sweat and tears as you tried to calm down while Dean yelled at you. “I told you to be careful! I told you not to get in the way! You could’ve—“ Dean cut himself off with a huff, turning to look for any remaining vampires. “I’ve gotta go find the nest before they get to Cas and Sam. You stay here.” The look Dean gave you before he left ensured your complete obedience to his order.
You slumped down onto the floor, drained and desperate to calm down. How could you have screwed up so badly, and right when Dean was finally starting to trust you?
You were finally able to breathe normally again by the time Dean returned with Sam and Cas in tow.
“A few of them got away,” Dean grumbled. “But they’re long gone now, and without their nest I don’t think they’re coming back.
“Dean, I didn’t—“ you barely got a couple of words out before Dean cut you off.
“Don’t! No, I don’t want to hear it. You could’ve gotten killed, you could’ve gotten one of us killed!”
“Dean,” Sam interrupted. “Dean, we should go. She’s hurt, and so is Cas—he’s too weak to heal, we gotta regroup.”
Dean led the dejected group to the Impala, but as soon as the car was on the road the yelling started up again. Sam and Cas were too tired to stop Dean, so you curled up in your corner of the Impala and listened to Dean’s criticisms of all you had done wrong. Within minutes, the words seemed to blend into each other and all you could hear was the anger in his tone and the harsh beating of your heart. You could feel the adrenaline still pumping in your veins, but it only seemed to highlight your fear and the pain in your neck and the tears that were building behind your eyes. The toxic combination seemed to build up until it was all you could feel, and it felt like anything more would make you snap—
“I mean how could you be so stupid?!”
That was it.
“Stop it!” Dean looked taken aback at your outburst. “I know that I screwed it all up, and I’m sorry! I’m sorry that Cas got hurt, and I’m sorry that the vampires got away. But I can’t fix that now, and I’m freaking out and I’m bleeding and I don’t want to listen to you yell anymore! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’ll say it as much as you want to hear it, just stop yelling at me!”
It was a good thing that the Impala was nearing the bunker, otherwise the four of you would’ve suffocated on the silence in the car.
“Come with me,” Dean told you as you all stepped out of the car. Cas started forwards, but Dean waved him off. “Go fix that—“ he gestured at the wound on Cas’s side—it wasn’t deep, but it was long. “I’ve got her.”
Neither Cas nor Sam argued; they just went off to their own rooms to get cleaned off. You trailed behind Dean as if you were marching to your death sentence. He noticed this about halfway down the hallway.
“I’m not going to yell at you again,” he insisted. “So relax.”
The tension in your shoulders eased, but you still didn’t speak as Dean led you to his room and instructed you to sit on his bed while he disappeared into the bathroom. He returned a moment later with a first aid kit in hand, the anger on his face all but gone.
“Let me see it.”
You pulled your hair to the side so Dean could get at the bite marks on your neck. You weren’t sure why you couldn’t heal yourself the way Cas sometimes could—maybe you were just too scared to figure out your powers now—but Dean didn’t question it; he just got to fixing the problem.
“This is gonna sting,” he warned you as he soaked a cotton ball with alcohol before pressing it to your neck. You forced yourself not to hiss in pain, but you couldn’t hold back the way your face twitched and your shoulder flinched. Dean didn’t comment, though.
“I am sorry,” you mumbled as Dean quietly continued to clean your wound.
“I know,” he replied simply. “I don’t think I can trust you on hunts anymore, but I do get that you’re sorry. And maybe I went a little too hard on you, ok? So how ‘bout we just forgive each other and move on. Maybe…maybe start over.”
“Ok,” you said, your lips twitching into a smile. “I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”
Despite himself, Dean chuckled.
“Don’t be a dork,” he insisted. But after a moment’s pause he continued— “I’m Dean. It’s nice to meet you too.”
And the two of you lapsed into a comfortable silence as Dean finished patching up your neck. His concerned features each time you hissed in pain, and his gentle touch so as not to hurt you, had you thinking one thing;
This is one heck of a second chance.
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@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl @chocorade @aestheticdaisies @inlovewhithafairytale @that-wannabe-vangoghgurl @casmustdiee @987coley @deadlymistletoe @wayward-impala83 @whump-loverz
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apocalypseornaw · 6 months
Text
It's Real
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Dean Winchester x Reader
Dean's back from Michael, everything should be ok but he's staying locked up in his room so you make it a point to find out why.
Smut with feelings
Dean was back. Michael was gone and Dean was back but it felt as if he was still gone. The moment he'd staggered in that door it'd taken everything in you to not rush straight to him. Once you were sure it was him you'd nearly dove into his arms. He'd hugged you tight, whispering in your ear “It's ok sweetheart, I'm ok”
Everything seemed ok on the ride back to the bunker, yeah Dean was a little on the quiet side but considering you could understand. When you parked and got out the impala he was even teasing Sam about his beard as the three of you walked into the bunker from the garage. The moment he walked into the war room and Sam was greeted with “Chief” and you with “Cap” you could see the wall slam into place but you weren't sure why.
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In the last week you'd seen Dean a handful of times and that was when you happened to be in the hallway when he headed for a shower or the one to make a run into town and he wanted the snacks he'd added to the list. 
Every time you tried to talk to him he shut you down and it was driving you insane. Yeah he'd been through a lot and yeah it was his default setting to not talk about his feelings but not with you. Any other time he let you in but not this time. 
—-------------
You were sparring with a few hunters from the apocalypse world and had somehow managed to draw a crowd. Ryker and Tyler towered over you in height and Vivian was fast as hell but you were holding your own against the three of them.
You took Tyler out at the knees then ducked under Rykers arm, catching it and using his own momentum to flip him on his back then nodded to Vivian.
You went blow for blow with her but she happened to misstep one time and that was all you needed to pin her. When you offered her a hand up she took it with a grin “Damn Cap who taught you to fight?” You shrugged “I've taken self defense classes mixed with sparring with Sam and Dean along with on the job learning” 
She nodded “Think Dean will join us? I'd love to see you two spar” you didn't want to tell her he was avoiding you at all cost so you just smiled “I'll ask” you turned to grab your water bottle then headed to your room so you could grab a shower.
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Dean knew he needed to integrate himself with the hunters inhabiting the bunker but he didn't know how many more times he could see you and Sam working shoulder to shoulder, sharing inside jokes with a look and leading an entire squadron of hunters together. 
He'd heard a few of the hunters talking about how “Cap” and “Chief” were always together, always worked every lead together, stayed up researching together and “Most of the time end up falling asleep together” one of the younger refugees from the apocalypse world had deemed you two a power couple and that was the straw Dean had to hear to know he needed to resign himself to his room for a while.
He'd lost you. Fifteen years of friendship, ten years of wanting you, eight years of loving you. If he'd just said something sooner, hadn't been afraid of losing you as his friend but now he'd lost you to his little brother and he couldn't even be angry, no matter the jealousy eating at him. 
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You stepped into the hall and saw Sam had just come out of Dean's room. When he shut the door behind himself he spotted you so you raised your eyebrows “How is he?” He shrugged “He's watching horror movies and has pizza and beer” 
You glanced at Dean's door then asked “Why won't he come out the room? He barely talks to me or anyone for that matter when he does” Sam's eyes softened at your words “Maybe it's time you do that thing you always do with us” 
You waved a hand, asking for an explanation and he laughed “You never let us wallow for long. He won't react to me, Cas, hell even mom. He needs you whether he admits it or not” you laughed “You mean he needs someone as stubborn as he is to out stubborn him?” He nodded “Exactly”
You looked from him to Dean's door then nodded “Wish me luck” he patted your shoulder “Good luck” then headed down the hall.
—---------------
Dean heard a knock at his door and figured it was Sam again “Sammy, I said I'm good” the door creaked open and your face popped around it “Good to know. Can I come in?” 
He tried to ignore the way his chest clenched at your smile. “Of course sweetheart. C'mon” he watched you shut the door then walk further into the room, kicking your boots off before walking over to the bed. 
You grabbed a slice of pizza from the table near the bed then climbed in the bed, laying sideways with your head on his back so you could see the TV considering he was laying on his stomach “Comfy?” He asked with a laugh once you'd taken his beer out of his hand and took a swig before turning back to the pizza “Very much so. You're a wonderful pillow”
You shouldn't be in his bed, shouldn't be laying against him. If you and Sam were…well he didn't want to think too hard about it but he wasn't the type of man to take another man's woman, especially his little brother's. He told himself it was innocent enough. The two of you had done this dozens of times over the years even if this time his mind was running a lot faster than normal.
—-------------
You lay like that through the entirety of Halloween two and halfway through Freddy versus Jason before your mouth had a mind of its own “I miss you Dean. For weeks we had no idea where you were then by some turn Michael let you go and now you're home but I still miss you. You're pulling away from me, from everyone and I don't want to lose you again. You mean too much to me”
He looked over his shoulder at you and grabbed one of your hands, giving it a light squeeze “I'm here sweetheart. I just don't want to take up too much of your time. You got a lot going on Cap” you rolled your eyes at the nickname you'd been dubbed with “I've always got enough time for you. Talk to me”
He let go of your hand then pushed himself back so he could turn to face you as he sat up.“I miss you too but this, coming home to this is a lot” “What do you mean? The hunters?” 
He nodded “The hunters, you and Sam. You two are a unit, you run this whole operation like clockwork. You've built something and I don't know where I fit now”  you smiled slightly “You fit with us Dean. You and Sam are the most important people to me”
He sighed “But you and him are more or it feels that way” you knew the confusion was clear across your face because he just shook his head “Never mind. Can we just go back to the movie?” You nodded “Yeah, sure” 
—-------‐—----------
He laid back down on his stomach and this time you laid down next to him instead of on his back. You had no clue what he meant about you and Sam being more? Had someone said something to make him feel that way? You’d been running on damn near empty for weeks, Mary had taken to hiding your car keys to force you into eating and sleeping and when that didn't work she'd bring in the big guns and threaten to call Jody.
Sam hadn't fared much better. The two of you had been doing everything you could to keep each other's heads above water.  Dean was the person who raised Sam, he'd always been the most important person to him. As for yourself, you loved the man laying next to you. He'd claimed your heart years ago whether he knew it or not. Your chest had felt hollow knowing the man you loved was being used by some dickheaded angel. 
You reached for his hand closest to you, running your fingertips over the back of his hand. He smiled slightly then it was like his mood changed and he pulled his hand away. 
“Sorry” you murmured and moved to sit up but he was already grabbing your wrist to keep you on the bed “Wait sweetheart. Fuck” you sat down in front of him and he turned to face you “Just talk to me Dean. Whatever is going on, we can fix it”
—---------------------
He shook his head, hand dropping your wrist. “I know you and Sam have gotten even closer since I've been gone”
You smiled slightly “Well yeah, leading a bunch of wayward hunters and hunting down some douchey archangel to get you back will do that to ya. Still doesn't explain the change between me and you. Dean you're my best friend, you've always talked to me and now you're shutting me out. I'm not used to it and I don't like it” 
He hated seeing the pain in your eyes and knowing he was the cause of it. He sighed “I know you're with Sam” your head tilted to the side and you stared at him for a moment before you began to laugh. After a moment you covered your mouth with your hand then took a few deep breaths. He was confused as hell but figured you'd give an explanation “Oh Dean, honey you are so smart at times but so damn dumb at others” 
“What?” You shook your head “Me and Sam have gotten closer yeah but not like that. Someone else has my heart and it ain't Sammy”  his eyes flew to your face “Then who?” You shook your head again “Doesn't matter just know it's not your little brother”
He reached forward, cupping your chin with his hand “No way are you gonna tell me some lucky bastard has your heart then not tell me who” you wouldn't meet his eyes so he used his grip on you to turn your face where you had no choice. “You honestly have no idea do you?” You sounded almost sad when you asked and he felt his heart skip. 
Did you mean him?   “You have no idea how hard it's been with you not being here Dean. How many times I cried myself to sleep laying against Sam's chest because I knew he was the only person who could come close to knowing the pain I felt. You're his brother, you've been his parent and protector his whole life and I knew he was only person here who loved you anywhere as much as I do” 
“You love me?” He damn near whispered and you nodded “How could I not?” 
—-------------------
One moment you were spilling your heart out and the next Dean was claiming your lips in a hungry kiss. You were stunned for a moment then returned the kiss fully, when you felt his tongue slip into your mouth you gasped lightly and he used that to roll his tongue against yours. The heat roaring to life against every inch of your body from just a kiss seemed damn near impossible but this was Dean.
Holy hell this was Dean. You just confessed your feelings and instead of bolting he was kissing you in a way that had the wetness between your legs growing by the moment. 
When you were finally forced apart for air he leaned his forehead against yours, both of your chests heaving. “Not what I was expecting” you teased breathlessly and he chuckled “Sweetheart, I've been locked up in this room because the thought of you with Sam…I couldn't take it. You're supposed to be mine. The jealousy has been eating me alive, imagining you with him”
You pulled back from him and grinned “You were jealous?” He nodded “Damn right I was. I've loved you for years and the thought that out of all people my little brother would be the one to take you from me? I hated it” you laughed “In that case, come here” 
“No, you come here” he grabbed you by the hips pulling you towards him and turned putting your back down on the bed. He held his weight on his forearms as he hovered over you, catching your lips in another kiss. “Dean” you spoke and he pulled back to look you in the eyes and saw the love and desire there “I want you, please” he smiled “Never beg for me baby. Just tell me what you want” “I want you. All of you”
—----------------
Dean let out a low groan at your words. Fuck, the power you held over him. “You've got me” He promised, catching your lips again. He felt your hands slip under his shirt, silently asking for more access to him. He broke away from your lips long enough to pull the henley he wore off and toss it across the room.
The way you looked at him was like nothing he'd ever experienced. You let your hands trail across his chest, nails scratching lightly “I've always loved your chest, your arms” your praise of his body unlocked something in him. Fuck he loved it. You leaned up to place a kiss at the hollow of his throat and his eyes fluttered shut at the intimacy of the moment. 
When he opened them your eyes were on him, a small smile on your face “No more running from me?” He smiled “No more running” he reached for your shirt so you arched your back off the bed to help him remove it. He tossed it behind him and looked down at you “You're so damn gorgeous”
He crashed his lips against yours and felt your hands gripping his shoulders, pulling him closer to you. He rolled his hips into yours and the moan you let out was better than anything he'd ever heard. 
—-------------
You broke away from Dean's lips your need for air winning in the moment. He kissed down your jaw and to your neck. He pushed your hair back and attacked your neck, kissing and biting the skin there. Your grip on his shoulders tightened “Fuck Dean” 
He moved down your neck, kissing across your clothed chest before looking up at you through those long lashes. He held your eyes as he rolled one breast into his mouth, grazing the sensitive bud with his teeth and enjoying when your breath caught in your throat. His hands slipped under you and you felt the bra give way before he was pulling it off of you and tossing it, giving him full access to your chest. 
“Look at you” he whispered, tongue flicking out to tease at one of your nipples while his fingers of his other hand teased the other. Your fingers slid into his hair, eyes fluttering shut at the pleasure coursing through you. 
He bit down on your nipple and when your eyes flew open he smirked “Cmon baby I'm just starting. I want your eyes on me” “So damn bossy” you teased and he winked at you “You must like me being bossy” “I love it” you admitted watching him kiss down your stomach. 
When he got to your jeans he looked up at you “Are you sure about this? About us?” You rolled your eyes and lifted your hips off the bed as you unzipped your jeans and started to shimmy them down your hips. He laughed lightly before you felt his hands cover yours as he helped you rid your legs of your jeans then slid your panties off as well.
—-----------
“Look at my girl” he whispered in awe. “All yours Dean. What are you gonna do with me now that you've got me?” The look he gave you was enough to make your entire body feel like you were on fire. The promises there, the desire, the love.  “Devour you” his voice was somehow deeper than usual, lust driving it down. 
He started at one ankle, kissing up your leg then your thighs stopping just shy of where you wanted him. When you let out a rather pathetic sounding whine he just laughed darkly “I've waited long enough to have you like this, let me enjoy it” 
He moved to the other leg, repeating the process. This time when he got where you wanted him he glanced up at your face before lowering his mouth to you. The first lick was tentative, teasing but when your hips bucked and a moan of his name fell from your lips it was like a switch flipped. He dove in, a perfect mixture of teeth and tongue working you closer and closer to that edge. 
He slipped first one finger then added a second,easily finding that spot inside of you that made your legs begin to shake. When his lips locked around your clit  at the same time his fingers found that spot your eyes rolled back and your vision went white. The pleasure was like nothing you'd ever experienced, waves after waves of it washing over you as Dean pulled two orgasms back to back from you.
—-------------
When you weakly shoved at his shoulders he pulled back,leaving feather light kisses on your inner thighs “What's wrong sweetheart? Too much?” You wanted to glare at him but knew it wouldn't be very believable. “How the fuck did you do that?” He grinned “Guess no other man has ever made you come back to back before?” You shook your head and he laughed “Good”
You shook your head and reached for his shoulders “C'mere” he kissed his way back up to your body and when he got to your lips you could taste yourself on him.  “Your jeans are still on!” You nearly whined and he laughed “Let me fix that” 
—--------------
He stood up and when he moved to unzip his jeans and push them off his hips you stopped him from climbing back onto the bed. You sat up and reached for him. He moved closer and when your hand slipped under the material of his boxers to wrap around his hard cock he swore under his breath. You slid the boxers down his legs and he stepped out of them. 
You'd always figured Dean was well endowed but seeing it, feeling it in your hand was different. You lowered your mouth to the tip, licking around the head to collect the precum then pulling more of him into your mouth. Your hand worked what of him you couldn't fit as you swirled your tongue over the vein running up his shaft. His head fell back with a groan, his fingers went to your hair, pushing it back from your face, holding it back. 
You could feel the tension in his hips so you tapped his hips letting him know it was ok. He gave a tentative thrust of his hips and when you hollow out your cheeks to allow more of him down your throat he moaned “Fuck you're perfect” he gave a few hard thrusts into your mouth and you took it, swallowing around him and feeling him tense. 
“Fuck baby” he pulled out of your mouth with a wet pop, using his thumb to swipe the spit from your chin “That was amazing but I don't plan to come anywhere expect inside of you tonight” 
—-------------
You scooted back up the bed and he climbed between your legs settling himself there. You could feel his cock nudging at your inner thigh, he hesitated “You're sure?” You nearly growled “Dean Winchester. I fucking love you, I want this I want you! Now for the love of everything fuck me already” 
He laughed lightly and in one roll of his hips buried himself inside of you. You gasped at the fullness you felt, the stretch from how long it'd been since you were with someone else and just how big he was. He left a trail of open mouthed kisses across your jaw.
After a moment the stretch gave way so you let your legs fall apart further before hooking them around his waist. He took that as the go ahead and gave a deep roll of his hips, when the answer was your nails biting into his shoulders he placed a searing kiss against your lips before moving to press his forehead against yours. 
There was something so damn intimate about looking into his eyes while he was so damn deep inside of you. “This is real, isn't it?” He asked and you moved one hand from his shoulder to cup his jaw, understanding the underlying question “It's real Dean. You're here with me” 
He turned his head to kiss the palm of your hand “I love you” you moved your hand back to his shoulder and he kiss you, this one wasn't as hungry as others but it made down to your toes tingle and he gave a hard thrust hitting that spot inside of you with the head of his cock.
—--------------
When your back arched up, pressing your breasts into his chest his thrusts started to get harder and deeper. “Please don't stop” you begged, the pleasure building in your stomach threatening to steal your vision yet again. “Wasn't planning on it” he said, pulling your legs up to his shoulders and nearly folding you in half.
The new angle had you practically screaming his name. The knowledge that he was strong enough to manhandle you like you were nothing drove you crazy. His cock was so damn big and the angle meant he was hitting that spot with every damn thrust. The pleasure was so intense it was borderline pain but better than anything you'd ever experienced.
His hips snapped into yours and you could feel how close you were. His fingers found your clit, rubbing tight circles “Let me feel you baby. I'm so damn close but I need to feel you” 
You felt that pleasure burst as your vision went soft around the edges and a hoarse scream of his name fell from your lips. You could feel his thrusts begin to falter so you gripped his shoulders tightly “Fuck Dean, i want to feel you. Please baby” his face was buried in the bend of your neck and when he buried himself inside of you with one final thrusts the feeling of him coming made a smaller orgasm wash over you, causing your walls to clench down around his cock causing a curse of your name to fall from his lips as well.
—-----------------
He gently eased your legs down, rubbing them gently before pulling out of you. You gasped and he smiled almost shyly “Sorry” you grinned at him sleepily “That was everything Dean”
His smile deepened before he placed a tender kiss on your lips “Let me clean you up a bit” he found his shirt and cleaned you up as best as he could before tossing it at the hamper in the corner. 
—-----------
When he climbed back in bed next to you he asked “Do you need anything? Water? Bodypart massaged?” You shook your head and moved over to be laying halfway on his chest “Just need you to hold me” He wrapped his arms around you and kissed your forehead. You were almost asleep before a thought occurred to you and you started laughing. 
You looked up to see he was staring at you like you'd grown a second head “Baby are you ok?” You nodded “There's like thirty hunters here that probably heard that”
He grinned “Well at least they clearly know you're mine and I'm yours” you grinned “damn right. Now kiss your girl so we can both get some sleep” “Yes ma'am” he replied pulling you into a kiss.
Tagging those who told me to write it lol @deans-baby-momma @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @daughterofapollo-7 @littlemadamred
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Every Fucking Time
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Summary: You want to help Dean, but he knows you can't.
Warnings/Explicit 18+: Lots of angst! Smut! Unprotected PinV sex. Slightly rough sex. Dean being an asshole. Dean being a broken boy. Hurt/comfort.
Pairings: Dean x Reader (You)
Word Count: 2,737
A/N: So, I just rewatched 13x18, Bring 'Em Back Alive, and the scene at the end never fails to break my heart. I just wanna make Dean feel better! 😫 But it got me thinking about how unlikely Dean would be to accept that help, and how his anger might manifest. Anyway, this is what spilled out of my brain as a result.
A/N 2: The title is a reference to Dean's line, "Every time we get close, it all falls apart. Every frickin' time." I have changed it to the non-network TV version because we all KNOW that's actually what Dean said.
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You just wanted to help. You needed to help. You needed to make it better for him. 
Dean had slipped back home through the rift barely an hour earlier, talking about the apocalypse world Charlie and how he'd left her and Ketch behind, promising he would come back with reinforcements.
Then you, Cas and Sam had given him the bad news; no one could go back, you couldn’t send reinforcements. Gabriel was gone, taking all his archangel grace with him.
“So if it’s gone, then that means that we can’t open that door again. If we can’t open the door, then I shoulda never come back!” He'd shouted.
He'd tried to tamp down the rage and anger that simmered just behind his forced calm. Nevertheless, it exploded out of him making you all jump.
“Son of a bitch!” He'd screamed, sending books and papers crashing to the ground as he swept them from the table. “Every time!”
You could feel his frustration and pain like it was your own as his voice dropped, defeated and broken for the millionth time. “Every time we get close, it always falls apart…every fuckin’ time.”
When he walked away, looking as though the weight of the world was once again on his shoulders, you’d tried to follow after him, but Sam had grabbed your arm gently, holding you back.
“Leave him for now, Y/N. He needs time.”
You should have listened to Sam, but you could feel Dean’s pain like a lance in your side and you were desperate to heal him. So less than an hour later, you went looking for him. But he wasn’t in his room, or the Dean cave. The kitchen was empty and so was the garage. 
You finally found him in the infirmary. He was sitting on one of the beds, sewing together a nasty looking bullet wound.
“Dean!” You called out worriedly as you rushed down the steps. He glanced up at you but then went back to stitching himself up. “Why didn’t you tell us you’d been shot?” You reprimanded him.
He shrugged his unwounded shoulder. “No big deal. Ketch patched me up on the go, just didn’t have time to sew it up properly.”
You watched him silently for a moment, wincing every time the needle pierced his inflamed skin. He’d taken his shirt off so he could tend to his wound, and you couldn’t help but take an inventory of his other numerous scars. Jagged knife cuts, more round bullet holes, and a few waxy looking old burns, all marred his otherwise perfect, lightly freckled torso.
Some of the scars were very faded, barely noticeable, while others were newer; some of them were still red and angry looking. They were a patchwork of pain - a tapestry of more than thirty-five years of hunting, fighting, falling, getting up, and fighting again. 
It made you exhausted just to see it; it made your bones ache.
You stepped a little closer to him, but he kept you at arm’s length with an aura of silent, repressed anger that you could practically see pulsing off of him.
You wanted to help him so badly.
“Dean, I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head, not looking up from his work. “No, let’s not. I don’t wanna talk about it.”
You let out a small sigh. Of course you don’t. You thought with a flash of frustration.
You were quiet another minute as he finished the last few stitches. Then you smiled a little, trying a different tactic. “So, there was a Charlie over there? That’s amazing. What was she like? Was she the same as our Charlie?”
Dean didn’t answer right away. He snipped the thread he was using and tossed the small silver scissors back into the first aid kit he had open on the bed beside him. He took some rubbing alcohol and poured it onto a gauze pad, holding it to his wound and sucking in a breath through gritted teeth before answering.
“Yeah sure, she was like our Charlie.” His voice was a growl of pain. “She was a badass, determined to fight injustice, sticking up for her friends, risking her life for them. And yeah, just like our Charlie, I left her on her own to be butchered.”
Tears pricked your eyes. “Dean that’s not true…you didn’t-”
“Seriously, Y/N. Just fucking don’t.”
You were silenced again, watching him clean up and toss the bloody bandages into the trash as he stood up from the bed. He reached for his flannel and tried to put it on, slightly hampered by his newly bandaged shoulder. You stepped forward to help him with it, and when it was on, but still unbuttoned, you slid your hands inside, down over his ribs.
You kissed his chest gently, and felt him twitch slightly. 
“Y/N.” He said quietly and you could hear the warning in his tone. 
You knew he was in a bad place, and the two of you had only recently begun to move your relationship out of friendship and into something more, so sex was still new between you. But you felt the overwhelming, screaming need to help him, to hold him close and let him feel your love shine through. You’d been in love with him for a long time, but you’d never told him. You suspected he didn’t love you back, though you hoped he might someday.
For now, though, you’d settle for being a soft place to land, if he’d just let you.
“Dean.” You said softly, kissing his chest again. “Let me help you.”
He pushed you back and turned away. “I don’t need help.”
You persisted, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind. “We all need help from time to time, Dean.”
“Y/N!” He said again, louder this time, his earlier anger resurfacing. “I told you, I’m fine. Just drop it.”
But you couldn’t. You wanted to help him, whether he accepted it or not.
You moved around him, so you stood in front of him again. “Dean, you’re not fine. I just wanna help you.”
Dean scoffed. “Well you can’t fucking help me, Y/N. You can’t make it better.”
“I could try.” You cupped his cheek, but he pulled it out of your grasp, turning his head. You stood on tiptoe to try and kiss him. “Let me try, Dean. Let me try to help you.”
Dean grabbed your wrists from around his neck, glaring down at you, eyes blazing. “You fucking can’t, do you not hear me? You can’t help me, no one can help me! Because all I do is fuck up; all I do is leave my friends and family to die. And fucking you isn’t gonna change that; unless you have some kind of magical cunt that can open portals to another dimension, you can’t fucking help me!”
You felt your stomach drop, and an immediate ache started, high in your gut, clenching your insides and making you feel short of breath. You stepped back from Dean and swallowed convulsively, trying not to let go of the tears that clogged your throat. But it was a losing battle and they were soon coursing down your cheeks.
You nodded slightly. “K, yeah.” You didn’t know what else to say, turning away just as remorse began dawning in Dean’s emerald eyes. “Sam was right…I shouldn’t have come.”
You took off, bounding up the stairs as Dean called out to you. You ignored him, desperate to get away before you collapsed completely. 
You heard Dean following you, chasing you down the bunker hallway and you sprinted away. You got to your room just in time to slam the door and lock it just as Dean skidded to a halt outside.
He banged on the door, but you just moved over to your desk, dropping into the chair and swiping at your tears over and over, unable to make them stop.
“Y/N, come on! Open the door. Look, I didn’t mean that, okay? I just...just let me in.” He banged again. When you wouldn’t open it, he just kept banging. Finally he yelled at you through the wood.  “You know, I can just break down the fucking door! Let me in!”
He slammed his hammer like fist against the door again, rattling it in its frame. You jumped up and ripped open the door just as he was about to start pounding again. So his fist was raised and his features were twisted in a snarl as you looked up at him. But you were calm, even though tears still leaked from your eyes.
“Enough.” You said quietly. “Look, I shouldn’t have kept bugging you, you made it very clear you didn’t want me there and that I couldn’t be of any help. So, it’s fine. I’ll leave you alone now, and you can please stop raging at me and trying to smash down my door.”
You swallowed tightly and then nodded at him. “Goodnight.”
You closed your door softly and walked back to slump onto the end of your bed. You dashed your tears away as quickly as they fell, trying to dash away Dean’s angry words too, but failing miserably. 
After nearly half an hour your tears finally dried up and you decided to get ready for bed, sadness and hurt making you slow and sluggish. As you pulled your big sleep shirt on over your head, however, a noise caught your attention just outside your door. 
You walked softly to the door in your bare feet, cracking it open an inch to look out into the hallway. What you saw made brand new tears cloud your vision.
Dean was sitting across from your door, his back against the wall. His knees were bent slightly with his elbows resting there and his feet planted on the floor. His eyes were shut, his head leaning back against the wall with tears streaming silently down his cheeks. Or almost silently. As you watched, his face spasmed with pain and his breath seemed to catch in his throat, making the muffled sound you’d heard; it sounded like his pain was choking him.
You opened the door wider and Dean sensed you, his eyes springing open. At first it seemed like he might bolt, but then he shook his head as he stared at you. “Baby, I’m so sorry.” His voice was a harsh whisper. “I swear to god, I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.”
He thumped his head back against the wall twice. “I just break things. Everything.” He punctuated the word by slamming his elbow back into the wall as well, hard enough that you were worried he’d break the bone.
You hurried forward to kneel on the floor in front of him, squeezing in between his knees. You pulled his hands into yours as you tried to reassure him. “Dean, that isn’t true. You don’t break everything; you fix things, save things. It’s in your DNA to try to right all the wrongs in the world, but sometimes you just can’t.”
He stared at you intently and once again you found yourself desperate to try to ease the bottomless ache you could see in his mossy green eyes.
His voice was barely a whisper as he reached out to run his thumb across your cheekbone. “Did I break us?”
You took a deep breath. “Your words hurt me.” He closed his eyes and nodded. “But…”
You were quiet a moment before deciding it was worth taking a chance, so you just said it. “But I love you, and my love doesn’t break that easily, even if my heart does.”
You took his hand from your cheek and held it against your chest, over your heart. “Not ever. No matter what the future holds, my love is unbreakable, even when you try to smash it to pieces with both hands.”
Dean’s expression was closed off, and you couldn’t see through it to his thoughts. After a moment he shook his head. “Don’t love me, sweetheart. I can’t…I can’t protect you if you love me. Something will come and take you from me - use you to hurt me somehow.” He closed his eyes again and repeated his words from earlier in the evening. 
“Every time I get close, it always falls apart.” He opened his eyes slowly and stared intently into your soul. “Every fucking time.”
He gazed at you for a long time, and you let him, hoping he could see that you weren't afraid to love him, and you weren't going to be scared away.
Suddenly he reached out to yank you into his lap and slam his mouth down on yours. You gasped into the kiss and then whimpered as he clutched you tight to him.
He pulled away from you, breathing harshly. “Am I forgiven? Because I was such a liar. I do need you.” He dipped his head to nip at your pulse point and flick his tongue against your salty skin. “I need you so fucking bad.”
You nodded, flushed and aching for his touch. “You’re forgiven.”
He crushed your lips with his once again, standing up without letting you out of his arms. He pushed you backwards through your bedroom door and closed it with a soft click, as he yanked your t-shirt off over your head, getting you naked in one quick motion.
You pushed his open flannel down his arms, being careful not to aggravate his newest injury. You fumbled with the button on his jeans for a moment, hands trembling, as he palmed your breast and squeezed, pressing his hard, blunt fingertips into your yielding flesh.
You threw your head back as he pulled your nipple into his mouth and bit it gently. You sank your hands into his short hair, tugging sharply and moaning loudly. He pulled away, just far enough that he could spin you around to face the wall. With a hand against your upper back, he bent you over slightly and lifted your arms, so that you braced them against the brick.
Then he raised your right leg, wrapping his forearm over top of it and spreading you open. You felt the knuckles of his other hand brush over your dripping wet core as he unbuttoned his jeans. Seconds later, you felt his tip pressing against your entrance and then you let out a scream of pleasure as he slammed into you hard and fast.
As he fucked up into you, he pulled you open even wider, reaching down with his free hand to rub circles into your clit with his calloused fingertips.
Eventually he dropped your leg, and pushed your feet apart while he pulled your hips back towards him. He never faltered or slowed his pace, just manhandling you into the positions he wanted.
You were bent at a ninety degree angle now, hands still braced against the wall, with your head hanging between them as Dean continued to pound into you so deep that he was almost lifting you off the floor with each thrust. 
He clamped his hand on the back of your neck, using it as leverage to piston his hips forward like a jackhammer. He tilted your pelvis forward slightly and suddenly he was perfectly, relentlessly hitting your g-spot over and over until you were screaming out his name and crashing into a hard wall of pleasure. You shook with your climax, but Dean didn’t stop, riding you through your first orgasm and into several more.
Your throat was hoarse from shouts of pleasure before Dean finally cursed loudly, shouting your name and surging into your body. With one last driving push,  you could feel him spurting into you hot and thick. He rocked his body against yours a few more times as his cock continued to twitch inside you.
Finally he stilled, both of you breathing harshly now, bodies slick with sweat. He laid his chest against your back, his arm still wrapped around your waist, keeping you close, keeping himself locked inside your slick warmth.
“Y/N.” You could hear the thick emotions even in his soft whisper. “You know, you save me. Every time I think I can’t recover, every time I think I won’t get back up. You make me think I can. You tell me I will.” 
He paused and his voice was velvety and warm as he breathed out across your skin. “You save me.” He kissed your shoulder gently. “Every fucking time.”
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Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters:
@lyarr24
@lacilou
@deans-spinster-witch
@globetrotter28
@suckitands33
@alwaystiredandconfused
@evznackles
@jackles010378
@impala67rollingthroughtown
@krazykelly
@candy-coated-misery0731
@envyaurora95
@spnwoman
@deans-baby-momma
@luvr4miya
@arcannaa
@viviwatchestv
@winharry
@ladysparkles78
@kr804573
Dean Fics Only:
@roonthelittlespoon920
@slamminmine
@zepskies
@safiyas-world
@aylacavebear
@waywardcheshire
Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom:
@kazsrm67
@slut-for-evans-stan
@sexyvixen7
@nancymcl
@hobby27
Everything Incl. Fan Edits:
@k-slla
@leigh70
@eevvvaa
@kickingitwithkirk
@foxyjwls007
@notinthislife50
@roseblue373
@mishkatelwarriorgoddess
@avanatural
@mrsjenniferwinchester
@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone
@deangirl96
@stoneyggirl2
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shallowseeker · 17 days
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I'm breaking this one out by itself because it's a little funny.
*Dean's phone rings*
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*Dean answers without looking*
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*Dean proceeds to yell at Cas*
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Ah, right. What could possible be so important?
/////
Sam goes on to tell Dean that *drumroll* Sam is Lucifer's true vessel.
WOW! Scary!
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DEAN: *sarcastically* Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in, huh Sammy? SAM: That's it? That's your response?
It's... completely lost of Sam, though, the REASON for Dean's sarcasm.
See. It's this: now that Sam's found out that HE'S a vessel, he's in his car, an absolute FIRE lit under his goddamned tail, EAGER to get back in and fight.
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Sam.
SAMMY.
🤦🤦🤦🤦
Dean throws a hint.
DEAN: *sarcastically again* I guess I'm a little numb to the earth-shattering revelations at this point. SAM: Well what are we gonna do about it?
And Sam... still doesn't get it.
Sigh.
Here's the thing. Sam wasn't panicking when they learned that Dean was a vessel. Only Cas and Bobby were panicked and stressed. They were mean, but they were at least aware of the reality of things.
But Sam.
Yes, Sam was going through things, struggling with things, and taking time to go through things is okay. But on the other hand, it definitely still hurts that Sam wasn't insisting on staying in the fight on Dean's behalf, to protect Dean from becoming a vessel.
But now that Sam's learned that he's a vessel?
Boom.
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It's not even that, though. It's this whole conversation.
Because what's missing here? Empathy for Dean's plight.
Sam doesn't realize that this is why he's perpetually at... the kids' table. This right here.
In this whole conversation, Sam is eaten up with ranting about his own feelings, about how he's sick of being a puppet, and how he's going to hunt Lucifer down and gain redemption.
Sam's all about "how he can do this," how he's "gonna prove it to you."
It makes him seem a lot younger than he is.
....
There's no acknowledgment of how helpless Dean must have been feeling all this time, knowing that he's been targeted by an archangel, about how scary this whole thing is.
Hell, even Cas acknowledged Dean's fears re: Michael.
I mean: He did it in his Cas way, but it still acknowledged the enormity of the fear.
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Cas:
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///
Meanwhile, Sam back in 5x01, right after DEAN learned about being Michael's vessel: Geez, why is everyone so cranky and stressed?
🥺Dean, what do you mean that you didn't mean your pep talk to Bobby? Whaaaat? 🥺
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///
....
And the thing is. Not "getting it"? That's understandable. But this conversation is just... devoid of support for Dean.
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And they're not. Sam's zapping all the strength for himself.
When they've been together lately, Dean is the big brother who lends support, and Sam isn't giving anything back. Sam's out to prove himself, not to support others.
And they tell older siblings and parents to be patient, to let them learn, to step back and forgive, to be "a soft place to land."
That's hard to do. And it's exhausting.
And aside// Sam's apology to (demon) Bobby was SO MUCH NICER. Sam, where is this humility and energy for other people????
SAM: No, actually. Bobby, this is all my fault. I'm sorry. Lilith did not break the final seal. Lilith was the final seal. I killed her, and I set Lucifer free. You guys warned me about Ruby, the demon blood, but I didn't listen. I brought this on. I'm sorry.
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lunajay33 · 4 months
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Secrets🕊️
Summary: You’re Sam and Deans sister and have been seeing Castiel behind their back, but what happens when you need to come clean when you find out yours and Castiels time together creates a little surprise
Pairing: Castiel x f!reader Winchester
•Masterlist•
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Holding the pregnancy test in my hand felt surreal, if someone told me a few years ago that I’d be back to hunting monsters with my family and pregnant with an angels child I’d think they were crazy, but here I am in another motel bathroom, my brothers in the other room working on a case as I’m having a whirl wind of thoughts over take me
After some time I take a deep breath and put the test in my back pocket coming to terms that this secret Cas and I have kept under wraps needs to come to light, sneaking around always made things between us more fun but we also wanted to be able to just be together without the stress of Dean trying to kill Cas or their disapproval, plus with how many enemies were after Castiel it just felt safer to keep it a secret, a year long secret
I walk out of the bathroom fiddling with my hands sitting on one of the two beds
“Hey you okay kiddo?” Dean always called me that, he always sees me as that little sister who looked up to him when dad was away, which makes me feel even more guilty
“Can I talk to you guys for a moment” they instantly got up from the small motel table in the corner and sat on the bed across from me giving me their full attention
I never thought I’d be scared to tell my brothers something, Sammy was always the sweetest little brother and Dean always tried to protect me like it was his only mission in life
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Sam asked, worry written all over his face
“I’ve been keeping a secret from you guys just please promise me you won’t be disappointed in me” my chest was heavy and my stomach is bubbles of anxiety
“What did you do” Dean groaned but I know he’s just worried
I pulled out the pregnancy test and handed it over they immediately went wide eyed
“Is this real?”
“How the hell did this happen I don’t even ever see you flirt with anyone at bars, you don’t even look to the side of anyone” Dean sighed
“I don’t just go around hooking up”
“Then what? Is this the new Jesus?”
“Yeah about that…….”
“You can’t be serious” Sam said shocked
“What no it’s not immaculate conception, we wanted to wait and ease you both into this, we wanted it to just be the two of us for a bit but now with the pregnancy I can’t not tell you both any longer”
“We? You’ve been seeing someone?” Dean asked confused
“It’s C….” Before I could confess Castiel himself popped into the room making a bee line right to me, not even acknowledging Sam and deans questions as to why he was there, and kneeled infront of me holding my hands that were in my lap
“Y/n you haven’t answer my calls for almost 2 days do you know how worried I’ve been” he stated with those puppy eyes I feel in love with
“I’m sorry I’ve had a lot on my mind, there’s something I need to tell you too” whenever I was with cas it felt like we were in our own little bubble of love, completely forgetting why I was sitting on this bed in the first place
“You can’t be serious, you and Castiel? How long has this been a thing?” Dean said standing up now
“It’s been a year Dean, she is the love of my life, it was meant to be” Cas said matter o factly as he stood
“A year? You’ve been sneaking around for a year? How the hell did we not notice this Sam?” Sam just shrugged his shoulders
“And now you’re pregnant with an angel how is this going to end?”
Of course Dean had to be the one to blurt it out, Castiel turned to me wide eyed looking at my still flat belly no sign of a bump
“You’re with child? With my child?” He asked bewildered as he held my hips
“Are you mad?”
“Of course not, I love you and I’ll love this baby, you’re all my family now” I laid my head against his chest letting his warmth calm me down as he held me
“It’s going to be crazy to get use to but congrats guys” Sam said patting my back
“You better watch over them Cas or I swear to god” Dean groaned as he took a sip of his beer
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After 8 and a half months it was time to pop, laying in a hospital bed with Sam and Dean sitting on the couch by my bed anxiously, of all the monsters we’ve fought this seemed to trump them all
“DEAN WHERES CAS?” I scream as another painful contraction courses through me
“I don’t know honey, I’ve been calling and praying” he says panicked as he gets up and dabs a cool cloth against my face
“I’m scared, what if the baby is an angel and it rips me apart, what if Cas can’t save me and I don’t get to say goodbye”
“Hey don’t talk like that you’re going to get through this, you’re a Winchester” Sam said trying to be supportive
A wosh of wings sounds through the room and Castiel is there by my side
“I’m sorry some demons had me I got here as fast as I could”
“It hurts so much, make it stop” I whimper as he presses two of his fingers to my forehead immediately easing my pain
“The child is already stronger than I had hoped”
“What does that mean? Will she be okay?” Dean asked his eye brows pinching together
“I will have to dull its powers until she has given birth” he worked his magic and the pressure lessened before I felt the urge to push
Everything happened so fast, the doctor came rushing in helping guide me as cas kept dulling my senses to get rid of the pain when a cry brought me back to reality
“Congratulations on a beautiful baby girl” the doctor said laying her in my chest before giving us space
Sam Dean and Castiel surrounded my bed all looking at this little bundle of bright life, she opened her eyes and all that emitted was bright white and blue light, like when cas would go supernova
“She’s beautiful, she looks just like you”
“Except for the glowing orbs” Dean stated
“Yes well that will fade over time as she grows but she will still have powers”
“What’s should we name her cas?”
“She looks like a Pam” I couldn’t help but laugh at such a name for a baby
“How about Samantha, and maybe the next one could be after Dean” I smile up at my two brothers who had tears in their eyes
“I think it’s perfect, you’re perfect”
“You did good sis, we’re proud of you”
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Text
Imagine...Demon Dean Hunting You (Part 1)
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Pairing: Demon!Dean x reader
A/N: Wrote this 7 years ago and forgot about it. Whoops
_______
“Y/N, where are you sweetheart?” you heard Dean taunt from somewhere in the bunker. Of course you had to be alone, Sam and Cas just had to go out together to get some more blood. You were going to kill Sam if you ever saw him again, forgetting the last bag you’d needed to turn Dean all the way back...he should be praying you didn’t get a hold of him.
A door slamming shut nearby made you shudder. Dean was getting closer to your hiding spot and you knew beating him when he wasn’t some super strong version of himself was difficult enough. 
“I just want to talk to my, Y/N. I know you’ve missed me,” he said, voice only a hall away. You could risk running from the closet you were in, try to conceal yourself in some dark corner. It’d be pointless though, Dean was too good right now and he’d hear.
You titled your head up, holding in a groan as you heard Dean find your hall. Your eyes widened as you got an idea. You wasted no time, not caring about the noise you were making as Dean chuckled and you saw the light under the door be blocked out.
“Found you,” he sang, trying the handle at first but finding it locked. You nearly fell as you felt Dean ram his shoulder once and then twice into the door as it flung open. “Now where...” he trailed off as he didn’t see you in the small space.
“Up here,” you said, staring down from where you’d managed to pull yourself up into the air vent. It was gross and dark but for the first time since Dean escaped, you felt safe. He’d never fit, no matter what traces of demon he had left in him.
“Just when I thought we were done playing,” he said darkly. “Smart, I’ll give you that. But I’ll see you in a few minutes sweetheart,” you heard him say as he disappeared with a wink. You crawled further into the vents, toward the other side of the bunker, aiming for the garage when you started to feel warm, very warm.
“Did he...” you trailed off as you pushed on towards the garage, ignoring the heat. When you got there, you found the vent blocked, a heavy tool chest in front of it that you’d never move. And so it went, every vent you tried, Dean had put something in front of it or bolted right over it, all the while the heat got so bad the metal was beginning to hurt your hands. He’d turned the furnace to the max, the air barely breathable as you made your way back to the vent you came up in. 
You hid out of view as long as you could stand it, until your lungs burned for cool air and your skin was begging for any kind of relief. You debated staying there but knew Sam and Cas would be home soon. You could handle Demon Dean for fifteen minutes. You had to.
Ungracefully, you slipped out of the vent, falling back to the closet floor, knees smacking hard as you let out a whine, the cold floor a nice reprieve. Until you saw a pair of boots step into view.
“Hi, Y/N,” said Dean, a hand in the back of your shirt pulling you up. “You’re coming with me.”
_______
A/N: Read Part 2 here!
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transchesters · 1 month
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inspired by this post. couldn’t stop thinking about it so i had to write this <3 ends abruptly but i could be persuaded into writing more 🫢
sam winchester was cursed to be an abomination before he was even born. the fates, or perhaps god himself, decided long ago that the youngest winchester brother would be lucifer's perfect vessel. sure, it was mary who made the deal with azazel — her youngest for john's life — but azazel would have wound up in little sammy's nursery, dripping his rancid blood into the baby's mouth.
somewhere down the line, sam accepted this about himself. he was an abomination, only a slight step away from the demons he hunted. when he drank from ruby, he believed it was worth it, that it was the right thing to do. he was saving lives here! but then, ruby was dead, and lilith was dead, and lucifer rose from hell. all because of *him*. he had let himself grow blind enough to be manipulated by the lowest of the low, all because she told him it would make him powerful. and if he was powerful, then he could do anything, save anyone.
how stupid he had been. he had let everyone down. dean, bobby... castiel. castiel, who should have killed him the moment they met. who forgave him each time he fell. who picked him back up, rescued him from the cage, and took on the burden of his memories. like sam was something worth saving, or protecting.
it's well past midnight when sam wanders into the main room of the bunker, rubbing at his dark-circled eyes, unaware of the angel sitting at the table who is leafing through old men of letter's records.
"sam. you look unwell."
sam blinks, though he isn't startled by castiel's presence. if anything, he is grateful for it. grateful and undeserving.
"shouldn't you be sleeping?" comes castiel's voice again, his brow furrowed as it usually is. his blue eyes are sharp and curious as sam walks his way, soon sitting down in the chair across from his.
"probably. doesn't mean i can," sam replies, peeking over to see what castiel is reading, but the angel closes the book before he gets a chance to. when sam looks up with a raised brow, the expression on castiel's face is unreadable. "what?"
"why is it that you still torture yourself, sam?" castiel questions suddenly, leaning forward as he rests his arms on the table, lacing his fingers together in front of him. when the only response he gets is a confused look from sam, he tilts his head and continues. "you have such a low opinion of yourself. even after all the good you have done, all the lives you have saved, you still think of yourself as the boy with the demon blood."
sam's face falls flat, and he stiffens in his chair. why did castiel have to be so perceptive, and so straightforward? "i dunno, man. we don't need to get into that right now," he mumbles eventually, averting his eyes from the blue ones that see right through him. he runs a hand through his hair, trying not to think about the last time his insomnia kept him up for so long.
"yes, we do. if it will ease your troubles and allow you to heal, then yes. we do."
sam thinks about that response for several seconds before he finally looks at castiel again, heaving a sigh. "why do you even care, cas? you said it yourself, the day we met. i'm the boy with the demon blood. that's what i am, above being a hunter, above being dean's brother, above everything." something about castiel's eyes urge him to spill his guts, and he suddenly can't stop talking. "i'm unclean. unholy. even after all this time, i still feel it in me. every time i kill a demon, i think about how good it would feel to drink it's blood, and then i hate myself a little more. i'm a monster, cas. i'm no better than them."
their eye contact is unwavering, and as sam falls silent, they are both still. castiel, who has become as precious to sam as dean, stares at him with a profound sadness in his eyes. sam deserves none of it.
"you could fix me," sam says suddenly, the idea hardly formed in his mind before he's latching on to it, leaning forward suddenly so he's closer to castiel. "you, you're the opposite of me. you're pure and just and perfect."
castiel blinks owlishly, his head cocked to the side in a way that makes sam want to weep. how can an angel sit before him like this and not feel anything but revulsion?
"sam, if i could heal you, i would. but there is nothing to heal. there is nothing wrong with you." castiel frowns as sam scoffs at his words, almost pouting. "there isn't. the demon blood within you is just a part of you. there is nothing to be done about it. you can fight your urges, and you can do the right thing. that's all that matters, in the end."
perhaps he means to sound reassuring, but sam just feels sick. he's shaking his head before castiel even finishes his sentence. "you're wrong. i’m wrong, on a molecular level. but you can help me!" without thinking, sam reaches out, grapsing castiel's hand in his own. he's surprised to find that castiel's skin is much cooler than that of a normal human. he's also surprised that castiel doesn't recoil from the touch. instead, their hands twine together like they have done this before. like their hands belong together.
"i want to help you," castiel says in a quiet tone, briefly looking down at their hands, feeling an unusual flutter in his chest. "what can i do for you, sam? i will do anything in my power." devotion is clear in his tone, but sam doesn't notice. he's too far gone into hating himself and trying to fix himself.
"it's angel blood. it's your blood — don't you see? you're the only one who can save me and make me right. because, despite everything, you're still here. you let me hold your hand and you heal me after hunts, even though i'm... me. but if you let me have your blood... it would cleanse me." sam isn't sure, really, where the idea came from. if he's been thinking about it for awhile, or if it all just clicked rather suddenly. but he is without a doubt that it will work. that castiel can save him.
castiel looks up from their joined hands and meets sam's eyes again. he takes in the human before him, tainted but lovely, cursed yet trying his hardest. perhaps he is right. demon blood is what ruined sam in the first place, so why shouldn't angel blood be the antidote? and even though castiel tries to rationalize it in his mind, he knows there is no point. because either way, he would say yes.
"of course, sam," he agrees quietly, an angel blade suddenly appearing in his hand.
"wait — not here. i don't want dean to..." sam trails off, because the thought of his brother walking in on this is simply too terrible to speak.
with a ruffle of invisible feathers, they are suddenly seated on sam's bed, in his simple room, devoid of personal touches that would make it truly his. castiel casts his eyes around, noting the differences between this room and dean's, who filled his with memories and mementos the moment they claimed this as their home. he returns his gaze to sam, sitting beside him so their shoulders brush. "it'll be okay, sam," he promises as he begins rolling up the sleeve of his trenchcoat, and then his white shirt, exposing his pale forearm.
sam stares at the soft flesh — unmarked unlike his own which is covered with scars — with a strange feeling in his stomach. he watches with apt interest as castiel drags the silver blade across his skin, a red line of blood following. the angel and the boy with the demon blood lock eyes again for a lingering glance, before sam takes castiel's arm in his hands and pulls it up to his lips.
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dotthings · 4 months
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Some tea from Richard Speight, Jr. about filming Cas’s testament scene has surfaced from DLC6. [x]
nothing cut from script to screen but they added things, such as Cas having to paint the sigil on the door and leaving the bloody hand print on Dean’s shoulder [my note: wbk about the additions during filming. There's still the matter of the spanish dub because the latam dubbing team felt a verbal I love you from Dean, made sense. And a few other lingering questions that have not actually been resolved and we may never know, but I'll go along. If Rich is happy with what was filmed and got to screen in the US, I'm glad. I love 15.18 either way. Rich's comments also goes to show how collaborative making tv is and how fluid the process can be.]
Rich said the scene wasn’t intended to be about Dean’s reciprocation, it was to give Cas his moment to speak his truth, to speak his love for Dean, and Cas didn’t expect an answer back, he just wanted to be heard, wanting Dean to know. [my note: makes sense to me, and it’s what I’ve thought about Cas pov. Cas pov not being the same as audience pov and what the story might need next and what Dean’s needs are. But for that scene, Cas feels complete. It also very much means the emotional story from Dean's side is not resolved. Dean wasn't given his chance yet, by creative design, perhaps because the only way they could get this greenlit at all is if it was only Cas who got to speak. We'll see what happens next.]
Rich saying because they did many takes of the scene with Dean’s emotional reactions, there are shots where Dean is crying more, or crying less. Editing put together different angles from different takes. [my note: the irony that naysayers are already trying to weaponize this to shut down the idea that anything got cut when per Rich himself, the facts on the ground are that the full range of Jensen’s acting for Dean’s response got reduced. No shade on Rich. But let's not erase or deny what was going on with Jensen's acting and how Jensen gave 110% and what wound up on screen was about 80% of whatever work Jensen did. Dean wept more than we saw, even before Dean was on the dungeon floor sobbing. Jensen’s performance as it stands is beautiful and powerful and full of emotion. It has taken an inordinate amount of hate and erasure, which is 100% cynical concern trolling to deny Dean’s feelings for Cas. More shots of Dean crying openly wouldn’t stop it, there’s no excuse for those responses. What’s there is loud enough. Only the most willfully cynical gaze could deny the love and anguish Dean showed.]
Rich said the parallel for John and Mary’s confession in TW 1x07 to 15x18 is a “coincidence” yet went on to talk about the trope of confessing love in a life or death situation and cited Leia and Han Solo among others [my note: it was also used again by an ep Rich recently directed in another piece of media I won’t say so I don’t spoil it. Also I’m laughing about how it seems he answered this. Total coincidence!! And spn 15.18 is like TW 1x07 is like Han and Leia and love confessions in dire situations is a common (romantic) trope. Pls, if anybody is taking away from this some kind of shutdown on creative recognition of the Destiel implications of it all, I don’t even want to know, I’ve had my fill of poor comprehension skills, poor critical thinking, and poor media literacy, oh my god]
Rich saying he was glad Cas’s words meant a lot to queer fans and that he feels it was important and a “bold” move that Bobo and Misha fought for. <3
So that's confirmation from director now, to add to writer intention, both actors, and an EP who greenlight Bobo's pitch for Cas’s testament as romantic. That is canon. That is a lock.
Cas's testament started out carefully padded into an “open to interpretation” zone. We have watched it be eased out of it and into the open.
I’m pleased it's openly acknowledged for what it is...and what I knew it was when the ep aired. I did expect it would be eventually, and would take some time. I’m glad it's here now.
As always, my appreciation for the work Rich, Bobo, Jensen, Misha did on 15.18 <333
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supernaturalistthings · 7 months
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Season 4 Dean Winchester Headcanons
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Lazarus Rising- Having a reunion with Dean after hell. You wouldn't believe it's him at first but after reassurance from Bobby and Sam you’d run into each other's arms. He'd be holding back tears while holding you like he needed you to breathe, and THE KISS? The kiss is magical and mixed with tears because you just can't believe you got the love of your life back. The relief you both feel is top tier. “Don't worry baby i got you” But really you'd have him and you know this is the start of a hard road of recovery for him.
Are you there God? It's me Dean Winchester- comforting and reassuring him after his fight with the ghosts of Meg and Hendrikson. Slowly running your hands through his hair and singing his praises because he deserves that. 
Monster Movie- You’d accompany the boys on this case and actually be the one to get taken by the “vampire”. Once Dean fights to get you back safe you'd laugh at the shifter together after everything is said and done and just be in awe of your lives and the things that happen.
Yellow Fever- You'd also be on this case with the boys. You'd comfort Dean about his ghost sickness and promise to keep him safe from any angsty teenagers that come your way. He really believes you and clings to you for any comfort he can get. You and Sam do the heavy lifting on the case, sharing the load of your worries about Dean together. You can't help but giggle a little when he gets scared of the cat jumping out of the storage thing. Vowing to tease him for it later, and you do when he's okay. “I had freaking ghost sickness okay?! Let that cat try it now and see how little I care…” he'd say.
Wishful Thinking- He wishes for you to be right there with him which results in the sudden urge for you to drive for hours to get to him. The downside of the curse is that you were not happy about the drive or being mind controlled by a coin so you're livid when you show up. Of course when the curse is broken you both laugh at the whole thing together and needless to say he’ll do ANYTHING to make it up to you;)
The Monster at the End of This Book- You’re shocked to learn that you and your boyfriend are full frontal in a book “youve got to be kidding me” was all you could say. You'd be even more shocked to learn that you have fans and they are “shipping” you and Dean. You'd be grossed out to find out that people also “ship” you and Sam. “Ewww” you'd both let out in unison. “Yeah it better be eww” Dean would huff out in disgust with an added eye roll.  Dean would secretly re read the chapters where it talks about your feelings towards him, he secretly loves that its written by a prophet how much you love and care for him. It's a huge reassurance.
When the Levee Breaks- You help him try to detox Sam and are there to calm him down when he's alone. He doesn't tell you that he gave himself over to the angels wanting to enjoy his last moments with you. You constantly have a hand on him and just hold him through the whole Sam demon blood detox telling him it's going to be okay no matter what happens.
Lucifer Rising- You're on Dean's side with the whole Ruby thing of course, you always saw through her and got the feeling she was just trying to manipulate Sam for some reason. You were with Bobby when Dean was teleported to the angels and you both were freaking out knowing there was nothing you guys could do. You sat with him panicked, waiting on any signs of life from either of them. Cas pops in to reassure you guys that Dean is somewhere safe which does nothing for the both of you and you freak out telling him to bring him back which then Cas just vanishes with no answers. Eventually Sam and Dean turn up pretty beat up. You're beyond pissed at Sam when you hear the whole story. You're beyond worried when you hear Dean say the devil is out and it's their problem.
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deancaspinefest · 8 months
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Take The Long Way Home
Author: sidewinder | Artist: caught-a-dragonfly (Sarah)
Posting on Monday April 15
Two months ago, the world didn’t end. But for Dean Winchester, who fully expected to sacrifice not just his life but his very soul in order to stop Amara? The celebration has been clouded by the disappearance of his best friend, Cas—the friend he’d started to realize meant more to him than he’d been willing to accept until now. The last anyone’s seen of Castiel was when he was banished from the bunker by Toni Bevell. The Brits swear they don’t have him. Neither Heaven nor Hell claim to know of his whereabouts. All of Dean’s calls, texts and prayers to the angel have gone unanswered, and Dean can’t help but worry that a "Winchester win" has once again come at a terrible price. One day hope finally arrives in a lead from an unexpected if not always trustworthy ally. However finding Cas might end up being only the first step in saving him—not simply from the forces holding him captive, but from the prison of his own mind.
Keep reading for a sneak preview!
As Dean approached the galley, he saw the light on there already, meaning he wasn’t the only early bird up and about today. His mood brightened with a momentary spark of hope—Cas rarely slept, and when he was around the bunker, he usually enjoyed hanging around in the kitchen to read or watch cat videos and shit all night on one of their laptops. But Dean’s bubble of hope burst when he saw it was just his brother, sitting there in his sweatpants and a ratty old t-shirt, chugging a disgusting-looking green smoothie. Sam was no doubt ready to head out on his morning self-imposed torture session—that is, a five-mile run looping around the bunker to Lebanon and back.
Kid seriously had to be the devil’s vessel if he found that kind of physical torment enjoyable.
“Hey,” Dean grunted at his brother.
Sam looked up from his laptop at Dean and nodded. “Hey. You’re up early.”
“You too. Couldn’t sleep?”
“Rarely do.”
Yeah, that was something they had in common. “Anything up?” Dean asked on his way to fill the coffeepot with water. 
“Not really. Just restless, I guess. I found a case, maybe. Not that I was looking for one,” Sam added quickly. “But while I was searching for any signs of Cas, or Lucifer, I came across a news story about some strange deaths in Wichita. It’s not far from here, and—”
“If you wanna go hunt whatever it is, go for it,” Dean cut him off. “Take mom. I know she’s itching to get out of here and do somethin’ other than stare at our ugly mugs all day.” 
“Dean—”
“No, Sam. I mean it. Until I know where Cas is, I just can’t. My head’s not in the game.” A distracted hunter was a dead hunter. That was the rule their father had drilled into them as soon as they each could carry a weapon, and learn about the things that went bump in the night being real. A week ago, Dean had let Sam talk him into going on a “milk run” hunt to clear out a small vampire nest near Toledo and he’d nearly lost his neck thanks to not fully concentrating on the job at hand.
“Okay, I get it.”
“Do you?” Dean snapped. “Cas has been missing for two months, Sam! We have no idea where he is, if he even—”
Dean cut himself off. He couldn’t say it. Not out loud.
If he even survived.
(continue reading on Ao3 on Monday April 15)
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luna-writes-stuff · 2 years
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The types my favourite Supernatural characters would fall for:
Includes Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury, Castiel, Gabriel, Lucifer, Jack Kline, Crowley, and Rowena Macleod
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Sam Winchester:
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Surprisingly, I don’t think Sam would go for a nerd, or a bamf. No, I think he loves the gentle people most. Those who - regardless of whether or not they know about monsters - see the good in everything. Those who share a positive mindset and manage to smile through every situation. Sam has been through hell and back, and he needs that place of solitude more than he cares to admit. Someone he can run to who he knows will make him feel better. Comforting arms, gentle words, reassuring kisses: he craves those things more than anything. And he will damn well do anything he can to keep you safe from all those things he fights against. God forbid you are the one to be faced with those evils. His face always seems to light up upon seeing you. He has this habit of walking to you and wrapping his arms around you, lifting you off the ground slightly. But when he is exhausted, or something goes wrong, he will saunter, place an arm around your waist and pull you in for a side hug, his face buried in your hair, simply grateful to be back home. With you. He needs those things and we all know it.
——
Dean Winchester:
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Now, Dean is the exact person to fall head over heels for nerds. People who can kick ass? Sure. But someone who knows a lot of things about a lot of different subjects? Very attractive. We all know Dean is somewhat of a nerd himself - we’ve seen it on multiple occasions - but he buries it deep down. But once you start rambling about a book series you love, or a game you’re really into, 90% chance he’ll give it a go behind your back. When you find out, he always plays the “so I can talk along” card, but let’s be honest: he’s genuinely curious. It sounds so stupid and nerdy, he wants to know what it is all about. Opposite of him, you love books. Unfortunately, he used to take advantage of this. He’d let you do all the reading while he sits in the chair beside you. Doing nothing. But he’s learned to love research with you. Somehow, it is very calming to him. He tends to let go of his emotions easier when it’s the two of you nose deep in books. And that’s something so delicate to you, because you know how Dean can be during these times. It is a sign he trusts you a lot.
——
Charlie Bradbury:
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Golden retriever girlfriend golden retriever girlfriend golden retriever girlfriend golden retr-. She has a lot of nerdy hobbies, if you will. But if you are willing to participate in them, she’ll do a double take. In her eyes, you had always been attractive, but she is awkward, so she pushed those feelings down. But now you are actually interested in playing a game of DnD with her? Maybe she is over analysing things, and you are just being polite. But one event turns into two, which turns into three, which turns into four. And when she announced your fifth shared event with Dean, he’s had enough. He is the one to actually encourage Charlie to ask you out. In his words “grow a pair and get it over with”. Very inspiring. So, that day, she starts stumbling over her words. Anxiety overload. And that’s when you interrupt her and ask her out for dinner. A dinner as in a dinner date. And after that, everything just happens on its own. You don’t care what Charlie comes up with, as long as she doesn’t have to do it alone. And for her to have someone to share her interests with, is all she could really ask for. It makes her so happy, it becomes difficult to contain. All in a good manner, of course.
——
Castiel:
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You guys know Folklore/Evermore (you should)? Cas would definitely be attracted to someone with those vibes. Someone calm and gentle, very laid back, bookwise, and imaginative. Perhaps an author, or a musical s/o. Someone who outs expressions and emotions through art. The look of focus and dedication on your face is simply so entrancing. Oftentimes, he’ll simply sit beside you and stare at you while you work. At first, it was very distracting and made you grow all flustered, but you got used to the feeling. Now, instead of intruding, it is soothing. He’d met you through Sam and Dean, who you knew in your youth. They kept in touch. And then one day he shows up in the middle of your bedroom, claiming he would bring you somewhere safe. And just like that, you had found yourself in the bunker. The boys had been hunting a pack of werewolves with a grudge against the Winchesters. And they had found out about you. As the pair was out, you and Cas got to know each other fairly well, and things just took off from there. He claims your works are some of the best his father ever created, and that he can spend hours looking at them, or listening to them. And he will. He actually keeps an entire journal with ideas he finds throughout his life and offers it to you, hoping to help you somehow. It’s endearing.
——
Gabriel:
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Gabriel has seen some stuff, okay. He has heard and seen stories happen throughout many lifetimes. And he’s always been a sucker for a good story. If you are an author or bookworm, he’d grow enthusiastic at the thought. Sure, he loves looks, but he has a soft spot in his heart to those who love stories as much as he does. That entire Casanova attitude drops when he’s around you. He’s gentle, careful, almost as if you are the most precious cargo in the world. You have to share your works with him, would you have them. He wants to know everything he can, and everything you are willing to share with him. Read any good books? Tell him all about it. In detail. Rant about it, he doesn’t care. Late nights are spent on either the couch or on the bed. His head is in your lap as you drown yourself in a good book, reading aloud to him as he hums occasionally, letting you know he is still reading. And in exchange, he’ll tell you the things he has seen (though, only the good things). His entire personality seems to change around you, and is something he is so grateful for.
——
Lucifer:
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Lucifer isn’t usually the type to fall in love quickly. But it’s all about playful banter with him. You dare argue back to him? You’re lucky you’re cute. Your initial meeting was after the whole Amara debacle, and - suffice to say - you were pissed when you saw him. You full-out shouted in his face, pointing accusing fingers and yelling words you probably shouldn’t. And he just smiled. He’d probably say something along the lines of “you’re adorable when you yell”. Now, that pisses you off even more. It takes some before you finally have a good conversation with him. And that’s when you realise, he might not even be that bad of a guy. If anything, you are the one who argues back and forth with him because you know he loves it. It’s that playful and loving mocking, you know? He lives for it and you know it. That satisfied smirk? Those joyful eyes? That’s all admiration, darling. He is taken with you from your first shouting match at him. “Asshole” “Minx” “Mister ‘I like to make others feel bad because it makes me feel good’” “Who am I? ‘I like to pile up all my emotions and stuff them down somewhere until I explode’” “You insufferable prick” “Your insufferable prick ;)”
——
Jack Kline:
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Jack loves a person who lives more in the present. He worries a lot. Like, an unnecessary amount. There’s a lot of things swirling in his mind constantly. He needs a significant other who will take him on walks in nature. Someone to take him shopping just for the fun of it. Spontaneous dinner dates, taking the car to a random destination, changing the rooms just because they can. Someone who is spontaneous enough to drag him with them constantly. He needs the distractions, whether he likes to admit it or not. But he goes with you willingly. Regardless of what you say or offer; his answer always seems to be ‘yes’. He has fallen for you the moment he set eyes on you. He didn’t even know what that feeling was at first. It led to a very uncomfortable conversation with Dean. He said things he probably shouldn’t have said to Jack. He feels inexplicably happy around you, as if all worries and care simply disintegrate in your presence. It’s so relaxing to him, he doesn’t find himself wanting to part with you anytime soon. He is smitten with you and everyone can see it.
——
Crowley:
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Crowley appreciates honesty more than he lets on. Does he lie? Yes. Does he do it on a daily basis? Yes. Would he lie to you? Only if he had to to protect you from something. But he needs a break from that constant nagging from demons, or the calling of the Winchesters. He needs a place to rant and sigh. Someone who he could explain all his irritations towards. But he wants that person to actually form a conversation with that person. Not just be heard, but also receive caring words. Honest words for when he needs it most. But, besides those moments, he needs someone with somewhat of an intimidating atmosphere around them. This already comes naturally when seeing Crowley, but you need that neutral face, set in stone, safe for when it’s just the two of you. Someone who can help him with difficult decisions or orders. But also someone compassionate enough to slow him down at times. Ironically, the Winchesters really like you. Crowley hates it.
——
Rowena Macleod:
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Rowena is a lady and she loves to be reminded of it: take her out on dates, buy her flowers, engulf her in affection and offer her compliments on the daily. She returns the gestures twice as much. I mean, she puts spells on you just to make sure you are okay. That spell she uses for herself so she cannot die easily? She will 10/10 do that on you too. Once she finds someone to settle for, someone she truly loves, she’ll do anything for that person. Your opinion and well-being comes first, always. It’s almost as poetic as swans; she can and will dedicate her life to you. The Winchesters didn’t even know about you until Lucifer got out to look for his son. Rowena hid at your place after she was burned. You were her one safe place and she did not hesitate to run to you. She is the person to put her life on the line if it meant getting you to safety. Hell, even Crowley was in it for as long as he could. And he did a great job, because - when he was still alive - the Winchesters never found out about you. Rowena is the type to be all domestic with someone: A home, a cat, cooking in kitchens - though she does love fancy restaurants. At first you wouldn’t really believe it, but she would love to get settled down somewhere. As long as it means she gets to keep her craft there as well.
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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 8 months
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One Big Family
Team Free Will 2.0 & Winchester little sister!reader, John Winchester & daughter!reader
Requested by Anonymous
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It was impossible, crazy, ridiculous.
But it was also happening. After over twelve years, the Winchesters finally got to see their father again.
It wasn’t what Dean had meant to wish for, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it, especially not now, with what was happening in front of him.
You, his twelve year old little sister, were basically meeting your father for the first time. You were mere months old when he died, so you knew him from pictures only.
After everything had been explained to John, his first request had been to re-meet you. Sam had gone to your room to explain what was going on, and when he returned Dean and John watched as you shuffled along behind Sam, his jacket gripped in your small fists as you hid behind him.
“That’s her?” John breathed, and Dean turned in surprise to see tears welling up in John’s eyes. “She…she’s so big.”
“It’s ok,” Sam whispered to you, trying to coax you out from behind him. You peeked around him to see John getting down on one knee to be less intimidating.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he greeted with a wide smile, and between his soft eyes and the way he said “sweetheart”—just the way Dean said it—you felt your shyness ebbing slightly as you stepped out from behind Sam’s legs.
“Hi,” you mumbled shyly, shuffling your feet as you approached John.
John reached his arms up slowly, hesitantly, as if waiting for your approval. You, never one to turn down a hug, gave it readily and melted into your father’s arms.
Dean had never seen his father smile like he did as he held you in his arms.
“It’s good to see you,” John said quietly as he pulled away. You didn’t seem to know what to say, so Sam spoke up.
“Honey, how about you show him your room?”
You lit up with excitement, snatching up John’s giant hand in your small one and practically dragging him towards your room.
“Ok, ok,” John laughed. “I’m coming!”
“I guess she’s warming up to him,” Sam chuckled to Dean after you disappeared with John in tow.
“We should probably join them,” Dean said. “We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”
“Wow.” John laughed. “You’ve gotta lot of toys in here.”
“Yeah,” you grinned. “Daddy bought me most of them, he’s really—“ you trailed off when you saw the look of shock on John’s face.
Sam and Dean entered your room before John could ask what you meant, and as soon as they came in you ran to Sam, suddenly shy again in John’s presence. You didn’t know how he would feel when he found out about the angel that was like a third dad to you.
“Hey, something wrong?” Sam glanced between you and John.
“Um, no,” John spoke up, recovering from his shock. “We were just catching up. Dean, can I talk to you?”
Dean nodded, and he and John stepped out of your room.
“Kid, did something happen?” Sam asked gently.
“I—um, I mentioned daddy,” you mumbled, staring at your shoes.
“Hey,” Sam coaxed, kneeling down to meet your gaze. “He’s not gonna be mad, ok? He’ll understand, you didn’t do anything.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah,” Sam said with more assurance than he felt.
“What happened?” Dean questioned.
“It’s nothing, just…” John cleared his throat, and Dean had never seen him so hesitant. “I just wanted to know…does she call you two her dads?”
The question threw Dean a little.
“I…”
“Look, I get it,” John cut in. “She hasn’t seen me since she was a baby, it makes sense. She just, she mentioned ‘daddy’ and I…I was curious.”
Dean nearly cringed, but he kept his face in check. ‘Daddy’ was your moniker for Cas, and Dean wasn’t too sure how his father would react to the knowledge of angels.
“That’s a really long story,” Dean sighed. “I think maybe we should all talk about it.”
“So…angels,” John said quietly about an hour later. “And…the apocalypse?”
“Yeah, more than one,” Dean scoffed.
“And an angel, and the son of Lucifer are living with you,” John added.
“Jack,” you corrected with a smile. “He’s my big brother,” you added proudly. With the less-than-welcome greeting Jack had gotten when he entered the world, you had taken it upon yourself to make him family, and even though you were technically eleven years older than him, he always felt like a big brother to you.
“I see,” John said, smiling softly at you. “You three have been busy.”
“That’s one way to put it,” Sam said.
The four of you spent all day together, and John did all he could to get to know you.
You hit it off well with him, rambling non-stop about everything he’d missed, and he listened with wrapt attention.
You got to experience a lot of firsts with John—he gave you a piggyback ride, you had a pillow fight, and to cap it all off, the whole family sat down for one last meal. But all too soon, it was time to say goodbye.
The moment the boys found out that John had to go, they decided that you shouldn’t be around when it happened. So, at the end of the night that had ended way too soon, John pulled you into his arms for a final goodbye.
“I’m so proud of you, kid,” he said with finality. “These three dads you got here are raising you right, so you listen to them, ok?”
“Ok,” you promised through your tears.
“Hey,” John pulled back, framing your face with his large hands and using the pads of his thumbs to brush away your tears. “It’s ok, sweetheart. We got this day to remember, yeah? That’ll have to be enough for us.”
You nodded, leaning forward for one last hug. John reciprocated, squeezing you tightly.
“I love you so much, sweetheart,” John breathed. Just as he was about to pull away, you stopped him with a tug on his arm and a gentle whisper in his ear. At your words, he smiled and picked you up, and Sam and Dean trailed behind as John carried you into your room…
Where John Winchester got to tuck his little girl into bed for the first time, kissing her head and wishing her goodnight. He closed the door with great hesitation, giving you one final, longing glance before shutting off the light and closing your door.
“You’ve got a good kid in there,” John said to his sons, no longer able to hold back the tears.
“Thanks, dad,” Dean smiled.
“You tell that angel friend of yours thanks for me, ok?”
You awoke the next morning to a quiet bunker.
“Daddy?” You began. “Are you back yet?”
With a flutter of wings, Castiel stood in front of you.
“Hello little one,” he greeted with a smile. “Yes, I got back last night after you fell asleep.” Cas grinned when you launched yourself into his arms. “I’ve heard you had quite the eventful day.”
You recounted every moment of the previous day with your father, and Castiel watched with a patient smile, glad that you got to meet John, even if just for a day.
“Well, after such an exciting day I’d say you need a lot more sleep,” Castiel said with a frown when he noticed the early hour.
“Can you tuck me in?” You asked shyly.
He smiled, “Of course little one.”
“You’re awake.”
The two of you turned at the sound of Jack’s voice in the doorway.
“I’m putting her back to sleep,” Castiel informed him.
“I wanna say hi to Jack first!” You insisted, jumping out of bed and running to hug Jack. He laughed and hugged you back tightly, before lifting you in his arms and carrying you to bed.
“Castiel is right, it’s far too early for you to be up, little sister. Get some rest.” He set you down gently and pressed a kiss to your forehead, an action mirrored by Cas.
“Sleep tight, little one.”
Taglist:
@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl
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narrynukezankielover · 3 months
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I love that in this scene (ep 9) Dean once again defends Cas to Ezekiel/Gadriel. Ezekiel/Gadriel asking Dean what he’s going to do about Cas being around them and Dean gets pissed off. He says that Cas is the one that the angels are after and yet he’s fighting. He wonders what Ezekiel/Gadriel is afraid of. Cas has been on earth for like 6 years and I’m happy to see him understanding human things. He could tell that every time Sam brought up Cas leaving the bunker Dean changed the subject and Cas waited until he was alone with Dean to ask him about that. He understands that Dean changing the subject meant there was something Dean didn’t want to talk about with Sam in the room. Back in season 4 Cas wouldn’t have understood that and probably would’ve said something at the wrong time. Then the fact that Cas knew that Dean is in a tough situation and even though he wants to be around Dean he knew he had to listen to Dean.
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I’m pretty much just adding this part because Cas looks amazing. I don’t like that he’s being tortured and that he has blood on him but I love seeing him half naked. I will say there was soooo many missed opportunities with human Cas. I would’ve loved to seen Dean teaching Cas to cook or to shave or even something stupid like tieing his shoelaces. In my opinion they didn’t think this storyline completely out. There’s a few things that happened that don’t make sense. Like how did that angel (April I think her name was) find Cas since he had the tattoo?
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In ep 9 Dean tells Cas they have to stay away from each other and at the end of that ep Cas says he should stay away from Dean and the very next ep (ep 10) Dean calls Cas for help and Cas comes right away. I would love to know what happened to Cas tie. He obviously magics up his suit and trench coat considering when he got out of purgatory he was still wearing the clothes he got from the mental hospital then when he came out of the bathroom he had his suit on so where is his tie now? I also love how Dean is looking at Cas here. He obviously loves looking at Cas in his suit (the ep where Cas gets out of purgatory proves that) and Cas is letting Dean look.
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This scene is hilarious. There’s an angel, a human and the king of hell and the human takes over. It’s Cas car (I’d love to know how Cas learned to drive) yet Dean just goes directly to the drivers side and tells Crowley to get in the back which he listens to Dean (at that point Crowley is handcuffed so he doesn’t have powers) and tells Cas to get in the back with Crowley and Cas listens to him. Cas and Dean will literally do anything the other asks them to do. Another cute thing I noticed Crowley said to Cas riddle me this boy wonder. Riddle me this is what the Riddler says and he is a villain so obviously Crowley is calling himself a villain (he’s the king of hell obviously he’s a villain) but Dean is in the scene and Jensen has voiced Batman a few times. Boy wonder is Robin which is Batmans sidekick so Crowley is calling Cas Deans sidekick.
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Dean finally apologizes to Cas for not telling him about Gadriel possessing Sam snd kicking Cas out of the bunker and I love that Cas completely understood what was going on and that Dean really thought Sams life was in danger. This scene also had my second favourite quote so far in the show Dean says we’re dumbasses and Cas says I prefer the word trusting less dumb less ass.
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This scene is interesting. Pretty much since Cas and Dean have known each other Dean says whatever he wants to to Cas without any fear that Cas will hurt him because he knows he’s the one person Cas won’t hurt. Cas gets pissed off when he finds out the angel possessing Sam is Gadriel and that Gadriel is the reason for all the bad stuff that has happened to earth and Dean clearly knows that Cas is pissed off because he puts his hands up. To me he is showing Cas that he knows that Cas is an extremely strong angel even with his stolen grace (at this point at least) and can kill anyone if he wants to and right now Cas wants to kill Gadriel but Dean knows he has to calm Cas down so they can get Gadriel out of Sam.
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To me (ep11) this shows how much Dean trusts Cas. Crowley is trying to look at the journal but Dean pulls it away from him. Back in season 8 Cas was picking through Deans stuff and looking through the journal and Dean didn’t care. Even in the scene when Naomi comes to Dean and Dean says he doesn’t trust angels which means I don’t trust you. Obviously that scene was about Dean not putting the signs on the boat so Cas would be able to come back to him but it does show Cas is the exception to that rule. Plus in the ep before this Dean was willing to let Cas possess Sam to get Gadriel out. He knows how much trouble letting Gadriel possess Sam made but Cas is the one angel he trusts would get Gadriel out and wouldn’t hurt Sam in the process.
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I love that here Cas is trying to defend Dean to Sam. I don’t think Sam understands that Dean lied to Cas too but Cas got over it.
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I love how honest Cas is. He’s always been truthful about how much he doesn’t like Sam. Cas has said that he doesn’t like the sound of Sams voice and other such things. I found it interesting that Cas said that before he became human he would’ve pushed the needle into Sams neck and killed him because the ends always justifies the means but now that he’s had human emotions he no longer feels that way. I find it interesting because even before Cas was human Cas would never do something like that to Dean. He didn’t need human emotions to feel like that for Dean. I personally don’t see Cas and Sam as friends I see them as putting up with each other for Dean. I do think that them spending that time together did help them not to become friends but to understand each other better and be able to be around each other if Deans not around.
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