#number one husband of cybertron

[cleverthylacine]

I’m moderately surprised that Soundwave doesn’t get femme-coded more: we’re talking a character who (at least G1) carries a brood of minions around in an internal cavity. (Also, have you ever heard the Mandarin dub? They play the character as a declamatory Beijing Opera baritone,)

I see him get femme-coded often enough but it's much more interesting to me when he isn't for this exact reason.

Let Soundwave be a nurturing dude 2k23!!!

My fics were also originally based in the continuity (IDW1) where the cat and the birds are his fully sapient adult friends, and the cat, Ravage, is another neurodivergent person who helped him deal with his own neurodivergence. In my fic'verse, Ravage is Soundwave's conjunx (romantic partner/spouse) and they do fun things with his telepathy, and their complementary sensory acuities and sensory processing disorders. Not all of which are even smut!

In IDW1, the four of them were forcibly converted to host and cassettes by a Senator who had it in for them. Rumble and Frenzy, also forcibly cassettified, are Megatron's batch siblings, and actually older than Soundwave or Ravage are. They're pranksters, and often childish, because who is going to mess with one of Soundwave's team that is also Megatron's brother? XD

I have not heard the Mandarin dub but that is hilarious.

[story-weavr]

The Lion’s Sin

In the twilight of Cybertron’s Fundamentalist age, two mechs met. After a time, they bonded on Conjux Endurae. Their names were Sideways and Prowl.

Sideways was a covert operative; the closest word in English was “cyber ninja”. His assigned task was fulfilling the orders of the Cybertronian government on a grand scale, both domestic and foreign, by whatever means necessary.

Prowl was an Enforcer, or cop, whose task was to maintain and enforce peace and order among the general population according to the law. Something that was considerably difficult due to the rumbles of opposition against the oft times oppressive Fundamentalist regime.

It did not help that there were different types of political opposition: one of a more civil nature & the other calling for more violent means.

(Prowl was thankful he had a friend in his fellow officer Orion Pax, a rare function re-assignment from a dock worker.)

It eventually got to the point where the violent Decepticons earned the label of terrorists.

Prowl, Orion, Ironhide, & a number of the more civilized Autobots worked in conjunction with the higher ups to combat the Decepticon threat.

One day, however, Sideways was declared missing presumed dead. Prowl was both devastated and furious that his Conjux’s superiors would not go looking for him after they sent him off-world.

Determined, Prowl snuck into his husband’s office in Cyberninja headquarters in order to find where Sideways was sent. However, he discovered something that broke his world.

Hidden in such a way that only someone who knows him as well as Prowl did, was undeniable proof.

Sideways was double-agent and Decepticon spy.

It completely blindsided Prowl… but it also made a terrible kind of sense. Sideways always resented his function: being controlled by others who view him as a tool that should be grateful for an assigned purpose in life.

Sideways had to fight tooth and nail to keep his identity, much less love Prowl and have a family together.

Sideways wanted power and revenge.

Spark-broken by his husband’s betrayal, Prowl gave up looking for him. Out of love for Sideways and fear of retribution on their son and unborn child, Prowl destroyed the evidence.

The only one he told the truth to was Orion.

As civil unrest became war, the Autobots became the officially recognized Cybertronian authority against the tyranny of the Decepticons.

As he climbed up the Autobot ranks, Prowl made a decision that was the only one he could make.

The former Enforcer, now officer, opted to give his children to bots he could trust to be both caregivers and mentors.

Ostaros, still a baby, was given to Kup, an experienced veteran of Cybertron’s last great war. To protect & hide him from any future retribution from Prowl’s enemies, he was renamed Springer by Kup.

The newly born Side Burn, who existence his carrier carefully hid, was given to X, a relative of Prowl’s who also had served in the military.

Giving up his children was the final piece of Prowl’s metamorphosis. Once upon a time, Prowl was a skilled young cop who believed in Justice and Serving the People. A mech who dreamed of a Cybertron that would allow he and his family to travel to other worlds.

Now, Prowl was the right-hand man of Optimus Prime, the military strategist of the Autobots, and a stickler for the rules and regulations of their military.

The warm-hearted mech with a wild streak was buried under the drone-like logic and patience for which he became known. It was not until many years later, during a mission with Ironhide and Silverbolt to rescue and support the Maximals, that his other side was seen.

Little did Prowl know, Sideways had survived his disastrous mission. If by survive, his body was completely ruined and his memories utterly vanished. He was eventually found by a Decepticon scout ship that returned with the barely alive mech to their masters.

The mech with no name eventually rebuilt himself - as Tarantulas, the mad scientist of the Predacons. At times, should his Supreme Lord Megatron require it, Tarantulas dons the identity of Double Face, a con artist and associate of the Decepticons.

Tarantulas never really cared about his missing past. His life is one he made. His only regrets?

The failures from achieving his evil goals. Namely:

- destruction of the Maximals & Autobots

- Decepticon Supremacy

- doing his unethical experiments in peace

- taking over a planet with a consort (preferably Black Arachnia)

During one of their battles with the Maximals, the winning Predacons were surprised by enemy reinforcements. That blasted “hero” Silverbolt came swooping in with two strangers: a Lion-shifter and an Elephant-mech.

After being soundly beaten and driven off by MagnaBoss, the Predacons licked their wounds and swore revenge!

For Tarantulas, however, something tickled at the back of his mind. Something he couldn’t put a claw on…

It wasn’t until reviewing hacked Maximal footage that he realized the “tickling” came from that Lion-shifter, Prowl!

The relaxed way he talked, the wildness just beneath the surface of a logical, patient mind… Prowl was a confident predator whose strategy and ferocity go hand in hand.

Tarantulas, never one to release something that had his attention (whether experiment or prey), dove into his newest project.

The result - the return of his memories.

And a desperate hunger to reclaim what was HIS.

Sometime later, Prowl led a small team to investigate a possible abandoned Decepticon refinery. Their communications were jammed as soon as they entered.

What followed, as described by Sideswipe (one of the few team members who would actually talk about it), was the equivalent of a Halloween horror movie

where the least terrifying part was Prowl as a DAMSEL IN DISTRESS.

Suffice to say, Prowl’s subordinates, coworkers, allies, & few friends were concerned.

The cop car’s Amica on the other hand… well… a furious Ironhide was always scary.

But no one, and I mean absolutely no one, ever wants to exist around an enraged Optimus Prime.

[decepti-thots]

☕ prowl and chromedome?

What have I not already said about them. HMMMM.

The most interesting take on them in MTMTE for me is that as estranged as they are emotionally, Chromedome has continued to work with Prowl willingly in some capacity. It explains why Chromedome doesn't rat out Prowl's plan with Overlord even after refusing to participate, why Rewind has strong hangups around those two after so long, why Prowl would even think Chromedome would consider his plan. The whole "Prowl is purely deluding himself, and Chromedome would NEVER have helped him" take just doesn't really work with what is in the actual flashback scenes we get, and I think that puts a wholly different spin on their interactions both there and after.

One fun effect of reading the story this way is that their break when Chromedome does what he does, the mnemosurgery, is truly a break. Chromedome canonically changes his number after all that, apparently having previously been fine letting Prowl call him! Prowl finally gets really pissed at CD in Dark Cybertron and makes it clear this has been a moment where he's fallen in Prowl's estimation, it's not just a one way thing. If their dynamic before was uneasy but still some form of truce, so to speak, I think it would be great to look at what CD so definitively ending that for them actually means. Does Rewind know? (Does Chromedome tell Rewind what he did to Prowl?) Does Chromedome ever find himself unexpectedly regretting it? It would be fun to poke around in that space I think.

Anyway, I want to see them have a terribly, terribly awkward post-canon conversation sooo badly. I generally ignore MTMTE's weird ending with Prowl in charge of stuff still, so I'm talking like, Prowl on Earth in quasi-disgrace in total contrast to where Chromedome is at having gone on a big important character arc with his husband over the past few years. I think that would be fascinating.

[tarklesbehindthescenes]

For the ask game: Hot Rod/Rodimus (any continuity) 1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

23. Favorite picture of this character?

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Character Ask Game

I'm such a simp for him in general. Here we go.

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

I love Roddy because he is so funny and flawed! Some versions of him I love more than others, but that all boils down to how the little details of each version of him are written. Most, if not all, versions of him are so full of passion, sarcasm, and stubbornness, and that is something I resonate with!

My number one favorite version of him is G1 (shocker, I know). G1 Roddy starts out as enthusiastic, optimistic, and potentially carefree. He's confident in his abilities and if he falls on his face, he just gets back up and hops back on the saddle of his metaphorical horse. And then he unceremoniously inherits the Matrix of Leadership and is forced to grow up. He becomes bitter, frustrated, and angsty. The falls hit him harder and he needs help getting back on that saddle.

But despite the change in his demeanor, the thing that doesn't change about him is that he sticks to his guns. If something he believes in is challenged, he's going to argue for it, even if he's wrong. That said, when he comes to realize that he's wrong, he does back down and own up to it. Which is refreshing to see. I loved watching him go through his soul-searching in Season 3, and I'm kinda bummed out that the writing for it seemed... a little rushed? Or not quite resolved?

Still, as a fic writer, I guess I should be grateful that the canon allows me to play around with how he grows as a character and resolves his inner conflicts. He is full of potential.

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

I haven't really come across any ships of him that I don't like, but I envision that he's paired with Optimus by someone, and that's really just not my thing.

When pairing characters together nowadays, I not only look at how canon has them interact, but also how their personalities would potentially mesh with each other. It's how I come up with so many rarepairs, such as Misfire/Grapple. No canon interaction whatsoever, but their personalities would balance each other out and make for some fun times.

Disregarding the fact that canon shows Optimus being a sort of hero-figure Roddy looks up to and strives to be, I just don't see Optimus and Roddy's personalities meshing well. They're too similar. And I'm well aware that like-minded people can be attracted to each other. My husband and I are in that pool. But I mean there wouldn't be much balance in the relationship. It's about the give-and-take system.

Talking about this ship from the G1 side of things, they have similar views and core beliefs, they have similar methods of handling problems, and they have similar ways of thinking. Roddy is just a younger Optimus. And I'm sure that they have a great platonic relationship.

But I think that Roddy's energy and lack of experience would make Optimus tired. And while the older mech can be patient, one can only handle so much. He's the leader of an entire army and if he was alive to win the war, he would have had to take up the mantel of getting Cybertron back on its feet. He would need someone experienced and a little lower-maintenanced to help him keep from burning himself out.

Roddy tends to be higher-maintenance and runs into trouble more often than he keeps away from it. I do think that he can benefit from having a low-maintenance and patient partner, but I can't see it being Optimus because he doesn't get much out of the relationship in return.

So that's the method behind my madness. ...But also for simplicity's sake, I just don't see Roddy being romantically interested in the hero he looks up to.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

I have so many~ But I will reduce it to two.

Top pic just looks like Galvatron is struggling with ballroom dancing.

Bottom pic is so wholesome and precious and I just melt~

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Glad you asked~ Recently I've been having a lot of fun comparing Genshin Impact characters to Transformers characters, and the one that matches Roddy the most is Navia. Both have hidden guns, both are stylish, both are determined, energetic, and have conviction, they're both extroverted, and a bunch of other small details that I have fun going through.

[13urningstars]

SLEEP HEADCANONS.

NAME:  Ivory Cherrybomb of iacon.

RESIDENCE: New iacon on cybertron

TYPE OF BED:  Whatever she can get her hands on, but she's gotten attached to her modified berth (it has a mattress. extra padding for her old joints/j)

NUMBER OF BLANKETS:  Its depends on the outside temperature. Normally one of two, but if it gets cold she's getting her hands on as many as possible.

NUMBER OF PILLOWS:  An arm full, as many as she can have. They help her feel... safe. With how many she adds (both blankets and pillows), someone once joked about it resembling a nest, and they're not... wrong

TYPE OF CLOTHING: None, but she definitely owns one of those mourning widow "i definitely didn't kill my husband" robes in pink

DO THEY SLEEP WITH COMPANY?: Often no, unless its after a hook up. Most don't stay either way

DO THEY SLEEP BETTER WITH COMPANY?:  Somewhat, but the presence of someone else laying down with her does make it easier to fall asleep in general. She'll take what she can get It makes her feel safer

DOES IT MATTER WHERE THEY SLEEP?: Not at all

WHAT DO THEY DO IF THEY CANNOT FALL ASLEEP?: Another day it seems. She hardly sleep, and she prefers not to. Takes time for herself

FREQUENT DREAMS,  NIGHTMARES:  Yes. No matter how much its helped in the past, she has a vivid imagination, and that makes its way into her dreaming state as well. Plagued by nightmares, either replayed moments of their past of twisted scenarios her mind had conjured up, its rare for cherry to sleep peacefully

DEEP SLUMBER OR NAPS: While she prefers naps, she doesn't usually have enough time for them. And if she does, they tend to be more accidental then on purpose

WHEN DO THEY SLEEP:  When she has no other choice

WHAT COULD WAKE THEM UP: If she hasn't woken up herself, they're actually a pretty heavy sleeper, so one might to to shove/yell at her to wake her up.

tagged by: @blackwldcw

tagging: @aircommndr, @almost-nearly-perfect & you!

[cognitohazardous]

Psst, I rarely do this but I saw your post about how there should be a Transformer that’s a bucket wheel excavator then I went on your blog and saw your post about how LGBT Rep in most media is so corny. So I wanted to recommend something!

If you have ever had a passing interest in giant robots I suggest you read More Than Meets The Eye written by James Roberts. It’s a Transformers comic where half the main cast is gay. Like, not in the hinted at way (well there are some only hinted at relationships) but actually gets into a gay relationship way. There’s not a single bit of “coming out” text besides one of the side characters who is trans, the characters just have queer attraction without explanation.

Chromedome and Rewind are a gay couple that start off as married in the beginning and have an interesting storyline that involves their relationship but not in a way where it’s about queerness, it’s only about their dark pasts, Chromedome who used to brainwash people for war and Rewind whose first husband mysteriously went missing in the war. It’s super good.

I don’t wanna spoil any of the others because they are cute to watch develop over the course of the comic and happen in very real and natural ways. But let’s just say out of the main cast of around 14, 7 of them get into/are in a gay relationship and even more have queer attraction/gender expression. Not even including the side characters which would probably double that number. In comparison there’s really 1 main straight relationship, which is pretty funny.

It’s a very good story, and takes a slight learning curve if you’re coming into it without knowing anything about Transformers, but it is entirely self contained so you can start with just it and see if you like it!

A synopsis for the story itself would be that it starts after the great Cybertronian War, Autobots and Decepticons have both lost as their planet has been destroyed by their fighting. Rodimus, an ex-Prime trying to redeem himself, leads a crew of ex-Autobots and ex-Decepticons on a space journey in a ship called the Lost Light to try and find the Knights of Cybertron to restore their planet. Trying to get everyone to cooperate goes about as well as you’d expect after a millennia of fighting and hatred. But as they soon discover, with the interstellar forces they are about to be messing with, their grudges are the least of their worries.

Thanks for reading, sorry this was long! I just wish more people knew about this great comic when looking for LGBT rep! 💙✌️

ohhh that sounds neat! ive never gotten into transformers for real but this sounds cool

[ppnuggie]

TFP x reader — fluff

　『　megatron ,, starscream ,, soundwave ,, shockwave ,, steve ,, gender neutral human reader 』

　-> cons as house husbands ,, more shockwave househubby 🥴🥴

— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack

— wanted more shockwave ,, i love my big tiddy mans ,, and steve ,, these all take place after the war

megatron ::

• hes a better mech after the war ,, esp when he leaves cybertron after helping rebuild it to go back and see you

• then the wedding happens and now hes your hubby ,, but the thing is bc he’s cybertronian and the government doesnt like him ,, he stays at your house

• which leds to him becoming your house husband ,, he does an okay job at it ,, theres still a lot of room for improvement

• he really does not like your toaster ,, and you dont know why ,, he just doesnt like it ,, maybe the toaster trash talked him

• spends a lot of his free time reading poems online or from books you brought for him ,, he is very interested in the more darker ones ,, because those he feels as though he can relate to

• which leds to him picking up the hobby of writing his own poems ,, some are about his times during the war ,, others before the war and as his time of being a gladiator ,, and most are of you

• but he keeps those ones of you a secret ,, he’d get embarrassed if you did read them ,, hes shy 🥺

• he does host a book club ,, trying to get on better terms with other people ,, though he always picks out books about ponies ,, no one knows why

• which usually makes him beg you to take him to a ranch for a small vacation ,, trying to persuade you saying itll make you relaxed when he really just wants to see the ponies

• he does secretly watch my little pony on your tv ,, and buys the movies and seasons ,, so when the bill comes and mlp is on there ,, hes the reason why

• he does not cook very well ,, he can make some bomb ass cupcakes and thats it

• he loves to receive kisses ,, before you go to bed ,, after you wake up ,, before you leave for work ,, when you come home ,, kisses all the time !!

starscream ::

• he bitches every time you leave for work ,, every single time ,, which one day you had to explain that you leave so that you can make money and stay financially stable

• he still hates that you’re gone for most of the day ,, and huffs when you dont give him a kiss before you leave

• so he has plenty of time to learn about human customs and stuff of the sort ,, like traditions and holidays ,, or different shows that they like to watch

• he does binge total drama island ,, dont tell me otherwise ,, mf loves the show and only watches it when hes alone

• hes been made fun of enough in his life ,, he doesnt need you getting a laugh at him watching a child’s show

• speaking of children ,, hes not a fan ,, thinks theyre weird and gross ,, but man does he love the shows made for them

• he enjoys spongegob ,, which he somehow found on prime video ,, and even doc mcstuffin

• mans cant cook so youre left making your own meals ,, until he asks why you eat different things every day ,, bc he just drinks the same energon all the time

• when explained ,, he did take the liberty of wanting to know how to cook

• so he snatched your credit card number and bought himself cooking classes ,, so then he can cook for you and then you’d have no choice but to praise him

soundwave ::

• hes the best husband ever ?? hes good with kids ?? cleans and cooks wonderfully ?? never argues ?? jackpot ???

• usually makes you a kickass breakfast ,, and in reward he gets some kissies ,, he does love his kissies tho

• when i say hes good with children ,, its true ,, not only is good to lazerbeak (who has his own little spot in the house) but he’s also nice to the neighborhood kids

• as much as their parents are suspicious of your husband ,, their kids enjoy him when you’re gone for work ,, and he hasnt hurt them either

• when he realizes how much he enjoys being around them ,, he approaches you about the topic of children when you come home

• he wants 4 ,, 4 little screaming kids running around ,, much to your horror

• you almost choked that night ,, and had to explain to him that you wanted to take it slow and in the near future maybe a kid would be great

• because children cost $$$ ,, and to be honest ,, yaint got the money for a child ,, let alone 4 ,, so he just settles with playing with the children in the neighborhood

• also ,, like shockwave ,, tries to bring home animals ,, specifically cats

• you came home one day only to find so many cats every where ,, and in the middle of them was soundwave ,, petting one cat that was nuzzling against him

• he still needs to learn some things but married life is amazing with him

shockwave ::

• more about shockwave is that as he becomes a more open ,, hes still learning to talk about his feelings more ,, is that he tends to get shy about it ,, sometimes afraid

• which leds to some cuddling and reassurance ,, that no you wont think differently of him ,, that youre glad he wants to talk to you about his feelings

• and then he proceeds to try and persuade you to get a pet 👩‍🦯 as though the ones he tries to bring home aren’t enough

• he really did want those little ducklings ,, they were just too adorable to resist

• but you do cave in when he promises a few kisses ,, and soon you have a cat ,, a small little sphynx kitten ,, because shockwave wanted a unique one

• he does take good care of them ,, play with them and feed them and clean them when they get stinky

• one night when you worked late ,, you came home to see shockwave on the couch with the kitten all bundled up in a little soft blanky ,, and shockwave holding them gently

• new lockscreen 😏

• he has watched rick n morty more then a few times ,, whilst he doesn’t understand the need for all the dirty jokes and violence ,, he does find interest in rick’s inventions ,, most of the time

steve ::

• hes so new to this whole marriage life ,, he’s panicking ,, worried when you leave for work ,, though you do give him gifts when you come home

• he does enjoy the gifts ,, which range from different rocks you’d find for him to enjoy ,, to stuffed animals ,, to this day he still loves the baby penguin plushy you got him

• he does love to bundle up in blankets you buy for him,, theyre just soft and fluffy ,, they make him feel super secure and comfortable ,, he now knows why humans enjoy them

• does love when you have days off ,, because then that means you spend the day with him ,, doing nothing but cuddling and watching some random show he picked out on netflix

• and when vacation time comes around ,, he cant help himself from being excited about seeing different places

• during the war ,, he did travel across the earth for energon and relics ,, but never did he have the time to look around

• loves to see the big cities at night ,, reminds him of the pictures he has saved of cybertron ,, when it was all peaceful

• he also loves the hot tubs at the hotels ,, just soaking in the hot water after a cold night in the city ,, is heaven for him ,, especially when you join him

• hes happy and content with his life you’ve provided for him ,, and he’d never trade it for anything ,, hes got the luxury

• vacations every summer ,, his plushy collection and blanket basket ,, all the gems and rocks you bring for him ,, and most of all ,, you

[polyhexian]

You know prowl is an asshole and the scene where he admits chromedome changed his number so he couldn't call him anymore is objectively incredibly fucking funny. But also kind of interesting that it literally took prowl mocking his dead husband for Chromedome to finally buckle and change his number. Also kind of novel that prowl didn't know chromedome had changed his number until he got the "we are dead" message from necroworld. Like he didn't try to call him again between I suppose dark Cybertron and that and prowls first reaction to hearing a bunch of ppl on the lost light got murdered was to try and call chromedome. As big an asshole as he is I imagine that was a horrible moment for him. After all this time. Seeing Chromedome's message that he thinks are his last words, and then immediately trying to call him only to realize he changed his number so he couldn't call him anymore. The depth of loss there must have really hit hard. Prowls demeanor with chromedome sort of strikes me as him being very much like, chromedome might have all these other men but he's always going to come back to me eventually, I'm always going to be the one he falls back on, like he doesn't really consider rewind et al even like real partners to chromedome, they're just his flings that he will eventually realize aren't real and he will finally realize prowl was his true love all along and.come running back. Even after millenia. Anyway I legitimately think that when prowl heard chromedome was dead he was legitimately devastated

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #28- I Sure Hope Y’all Like Megatron

“Dark Cybertron” is finally over! Woohoo!

Who’s ready for a return to hijinks and mild peril?

I know this guy is!

Hold on a second-

We start our foray into Season 2 of MTMTE with a little meta-humor-

-and then it’s right into the swing of things, as Brainstorm uses the thin, fragile wine glass of faction-based morality to hold his personal need to make instruments of violence. Nautica disapproves, but then why wouldn’t she? She’s not been steeped in the militant ideologies of the Autobots for millions of years.

It’s six months after the convoluted events of “Dark Cybertron”, and our beloved ship, the Lost Light, is back on track for the Knight Quest. Nautica’s joined the crew, which is neat, but there are far more interesting things going on.

Like Rung actually doing his fucking job for once.

Wow, look at that little creamsicle man go.

It would seem that in the last half-year (by Earth standards) Megatron’s somehow gotten himself into the esteemed position of Captain of the Lost Light. This likely means that Rodimus has been defeated in battle, or perhaps fucked off on yet another space yacht to run away from his responsibilities. I suppose the narrative will have to fill us in on just what exactly happened.

Or, at least, I hope it does. Wouldn’t be a terribly good story if I had to guess on how exactly this dude’s in charge of a whole-ass Autobot crew.

Yes, yes, I know he switched sides, but goddammit, it takes a little more than saying sorry and changing your wardrobe to excuse the murder of half of NYC.

I mean, we can do both. Both is an option. I’ll break out The Communist Manifesto right now, let’s fuckin’ gooooooooo-

Six months prior to Megatron’s therapy appointment, Rodimus is ready to high-tail it off of Cybertron yet again. This is because, as established in previous posts, Cybertron kinda sucks butt. He bursts into the meeting Optimus Prime called- even though he’s really not leader of anything anymore, Starscream is- bids everyone farewell, and is about to run back out of the room when he’s stopped.

Turns out that the populace of Cybertron want Megatron to stand trial. That makes sense, given what all he’s done. Of course, the Autobot pals we’ve got in the room want to skip due process and go straight to the part where Megatron pays through the nose for the last four million years.

Which doesn’t feel terribly heroic or good guy-ish, but I think by this point you’ve probably caught on to the fact that everyone in IDW Transformers is morally gray at BEST.

Because Megatron’s had a rough time the last few years, in relation to his bodily integrity, spark extraction- that thing that High Command lied about in relation to Overlord- isn’t an option. It would just kill him dead.

Uh, excuse me? Optimus Prime, sir? Monsieur Premier?

Guess Optimus hasn’t been keeping up with exRiD.

Anyway, yeah, since Tyrest fucked off in “The Sound of Breaking Glass” and also tried to commit a genocide, we’re gonna need someone to cast judgement.

Course, a military trial isn’t exactly ideal, but as long as it’s open to the public, it should be fine.

Probably.

Anyway, Prowl’s also going to help. Ultra Magnus has been assigned the task of representing Megatron in court, a job which he’s positively delighted to have, if his face is any indication.

The gang breaks for lunch, and Rodimus and Optimus touch base on how the Knight Quest is going.

Because Rodimus’ half of the Matrix had the map for finding the Knights of Cybertron in it, they’re gonna have to go with Plan B.

Oh fuck yes, I love Plan B!

Unfortunately, finding the ideal romantic partner for all Cybertronians is going to have to wait until after the trial, because Optimus really wants Rodimus here for this. Though perhaps there’s a way to make things move a little faster…

Back in the present, Megatron’s had just about enough of Rung being a psychiatry joke, and is about to walk out of his appointment. Ravage is here, which is neat. Rung asks Megatron about the three most important people in his life, and how he met them. One of these people is, funnily enough, Rung.

Rung, if you’ll recall, was thrown into Megatron and Impactor’s table at Maccadams waaaaaay back in The Transformers #22, the first issue of the IDW run that Roberts wrote solo. It would seem that getting arrested and subjected to police brutality ruined his once-idealistic worldview. This is just a lightning-round recap of the events of the “Chaos Theory” storyline.

Being reminded of how hard he got dunked on makes Rung break out his copy of Megatron’s autobiography, Towards Peace. Of course, Megatron has to be “that guy”, and makes it out to be far more than it actually is. My dude, you used your writing to tell all your proto-Decepticon buddies to go beat up Whirl in prison. Let’s not make things sound more grandiose than they are.

Anyway, it turns out that Rung is actually just as much a nerd as he looks, as he reveals that he’s in possession of one of the only few copies of the original version of Towards Peace. And then he takes off his glasses and the fans go bonkers, even though he’s just got that Milne Same-Face going on, just like everyone else.

There you are, you animals.

Rung discusses Revisionism, I’m reminded that the first publication of Eugenesis had a dedication to Roberts’ son of all people, and we get the question of who Terminus is to Megatron.

But alas! The X-ray vision’s been turned on, and it’s time to see… nude robots? An in-depth anatomy lesson?

Robots are confusing sometimes. Anyways, major props to Milne for drawing all that detail. Dude does the technical stuff with a ferocity that must be awe-inspiring to behold.

Megatron’s decided that it’s time for lunch, and then he’s going to do captain stuff.

Because he’s captain of the Lost Light.

I’m convinced Rodimus is dead. That’s the only way this is happening.

Six months ago, Swerve was being awful Swerve-like, with his new buddy Crosscut- guess he finally learned the guy’s name- and Riptide, who we’ll get to a little later on. These three wonderful lads are holding a sort of “crew try-outs”, and it looks like the requirements needed for entry on Megatron’s Lost Light are stiff.

Still, maybe our new friend Nautica will make the cut.

Oh, you are simply delightful!

Despite Nautica having interest in nearly every topic in the universe, on top of having impeccable taste in booze, she just misses the cut. It’s at this point that Nightbeat bursts into the room to stop this farce from going any further. The fact that nobody mentioned anything prior to this is surprising, given that portmanteaus don’t really seem the type of thing Ultra Magnus would approve of.

Back six months ago, we see what Optimus Prime’s super great idea was to expedite the judicial process- Chromedome. It’s always Chromedome. He’s gonna do that thing he promised his late husband he’d stop doing. I suppose it’s a good thing- for Rewind, anyway- that Megatron is wholly against the idea of having his memories torn out of his head. Guess we’re gonna have to do the trial the normal, non brain-pokey way.

Optimus leaves the cell, because I suppose he’s remembered that there’s a conflict of interests here, but Rodimus stays behind to let Megatron know he deserves everything that’s coming his way.

Then Megatron breaks out the puzzle-box from Hellraiser.

In the present, Chromedome isn’t so much spiraling in his depression as he is circling the drain. Nightbeat doesn’t give a shit about that though- he’s more concerned with the fact that one of the numbers on the door to Chromedome’s room is missing. But I’m sure it’s fine.

It’s fiiiiiiiiiiine.

While Nightbeat’s busy being insensitive to his fellow man’s distress, Megatron’s arrived to his room to find his door’s been vandalized by a bunch of idiots who must have just discovered what a thesaurus is. Then he gets shot in the fucking hand with an arrow.

As you do.

Whirl’s gotten ahold of a bow, and he fully intends to use it for Megatron-directed violence. And also his fists. His very pointy fists. He punches Megatron through the fucking floor into the fuel furnace, and they fall what’s probably a good 200 feet to the ground below. Whirl yells about evening the score between the two of them, and then knees Megatron in the dick.

Turns out, Megatron remembers Whirl even better than originally thought, having gone so far as to order his forces to not kill Whirl, because, in a way, he was grateful for the lesson he learned back before the war in Rodion.

Oh man, I hope Rung’s somehow listening in on this. Like, eavesdropping is obviously bad medicine, but we’ve already established that he sucks as a professional, and he needs what few advantages he can get.

Whirl, enraged by the implication that he’s been fighting fixed battles for the last four million years, punches Megatron in the gut… and his arm gets swallowed up by an errant portal leftover from all of Shockwave’s tampering. Since you can’t really fight with only one arm, Megatron wanders off to do captainy things.

Walking back the timeline slightly, we revisit Megatron leaving Rung’s office, and the idea of personal revisionism, the conversation becoming parallel with the strange happenings going on within the ship, as Rewind’s final message is altered so as not to end with “I love you” but instead a blood-curdling scream. Chromedome is, understandably, upset by this turn of events.

Over with Whirl, it’s revealed that the little fight we saw was intentionally set up. For what purpose, or by whom, is left a mystery.

Please see a doctor.

One last flashback to the trial, as Prowl lists off everything that’s standing in the way of our Sympathetic Megatron Redemption Arc.

Good fuckin’ luck, James.

Back in the present, Megatron’s slapped a bandaid on the hole in his torso, as he checks to see what’s happening on the bridge. It would appear there’s a coffin floating around in space.

Pretty fucked up.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Hell ya am I in shipping mood! And since I can't spare the money for more fanfic commissions, how about MegaBlade headcanons??? I got the impressions you do those for free xD

I do in fact! Especially for you, Bae! Let’s give it a go! (heads up, follow a bitch, she pretty much made this ship)

Megatron is a house husband. Yes we been knew, but I’m including this because it REALLY suits the rather winded Windblade, who not only has ZERO time to clean, but just hates doing it.

Megatron, having so much time at home, handles pretty much EVERY domestic opportunity. He makes dinner, desserts, tea, cleans the house, and even tends to flowers for Windblade (he makes potpourri out of it. Pink roses tend to be his go to) As such, the house is not only clean and neat, but comfortable for both involved.

Windblade is the breadwinner of the house, and as such, is out for sometimes days at a time. Megatron is alright with this, but he does in fact, get rather lonely.

Megatron is a tea drinker, Windblade is a coffee gal. they’d both drink either or, but they have preferences. 

Megatron does in fact, get up early in the morning with Windblade. He does this to make sure she doesn't need anything before she goes. However, he always preps the night before, so he’s really only up for like, five minutes, then he crashes out.

Windblade gets invited to more parties due to her status (and that Megatron isn't exactly...popular), but Megatron is the better gift giver. 

Windblade is mature, and poised, but Megatron sees naive habits from her, particularly when they frag. Windblade wants to try so many things, it’s a little overwhelming for the poor mech.

As such, Megatron often ends up being the bottom. Windblade likes to experiment, and Megatron enjoys letting someone else have control.

Windblade’s face paint has not ONCE been done by herself. Before, it was Chromia, now it's Megatron. Megatron has a delicate touch, while Windblade really doesn't. Seriously, any detailed work should be done by Megatron, not Windblade. 

Megatron and Windblade have favorite desserts (Windblade being a pie from Caminus, and Megatron’s being rock candy, funny enough), but they also have favorite food. Megatron’s favorite is fried mushrooms (or whatever Cybertronian equivalent, canon cybertron food is limited), and Windblade’s is mushroom risotto. Tbh I just see them both liking mushrooms, just differently?

Windblade may be poised and calm, but she’s inappropriate. There’s a mark on Megatron’s aft from the number of times she's smacked that mega ass.

Windblade can't cook. If it's anything past a sandwich, you’re doomed. 

They like to give each other back rubs. Only, Megatron is the only one good at it. Windblade goes hard into his shoulders. It hurts like hell after, but Megatron’s a freak like that.

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

In honor of the end of Lost Light today, I’m posting an essay that I wrote for one of my writing courses last fall, where the assignment was to write a persuasive review about something we feel passionately about. I’m always trying to sell these giant robot comics to everyone, so if nothing else, I made all my peer reviewers read about Transformers - but if you’re at all ever wondering what More than Meets the Eye and Lost Light are about, more than just “canon gays”, like “what’s the plot even?” or “how much do I need to know about Transformers if I wanted to read this”, take a gander.

(This review contains spoilers for several plot arcs throughout these comic series.)

Mentioning the Transformers franchise usually elicits one of a few common reactions: an eye roll, a sardonic remark about children’s action figures, or an admittedly-deserved rip on the Michael Bay films (“Have you seen the Rotten Tomatoes score?”). And while nerd culture and mainstream culture overlap more and more, to announce interest in reading comic books is still a mark of fringe-level geekery, never mind the big-budget blockbusters that much of the general public flock to at each new release. So to say that one of the most engaging pieces of media I have engaged with in the past several years is the currently-ongoing comic book series Transformers: Lost Light, I find myself bracing for any of the expected reactions with qualifiers: “It’s good, for Transformers!” or “It’s a good comic book!”

But really, it’s just good.

The publishing company, IDW Publishing, is not the big two of Marvel or DC Comics, but it is sizeable, with several current Transformers series and many more past, creating the labyrinthine continuity that plagues most comics besides small independent creators and publishers or brand new properties. Transformers and IDW Publishing are neither of these; the Transformers comics continuity of today began in 2005, and I have not read a majority of the comics published since then. Lost Light provides just enough backstory and context to understand the necessary, major points (sometimes assisted by footnotes “*See Issue #X of Series: Y”), and from its beginning spins a new plot that stands firmly on its own.

Transformers: Lost Light’s tenth issue just released in October [2017] but it exists as a direct continuation of Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye, which contains 55 [correction: 58? it’s complicated, and even in his end note for the final issue, the author acknowledges officially 55, but several more un-sequenced] issues from 2012 to the end of 2016, and it was rebranded as part of a publication company-pushed effort to provide new readers with a good starting point. (While I understand that seeing “Issue 55” may scare some readers away, I admit to being disappointed with the rebranding, having wanted to see how high of a number the series could reach. Most of the “Big Two” (Marvel and DC) series that I have followed only reach around 20 before being cancelled, wrapped up, and the characters passed off two new writers.)

This kind of executive meddling in the course of the books is common in comics and IDW is no different. They have pushed “crossover events” where all of the ongoing Transformers books come together for the same story, using all of the characters, with writing alternating between the writers of each series from one issue to the next, and they have insisted on inclusion or seeing more of a certain character; Transformers is, at its heart, a toy line, and if the parent companies want to see more of Megatron in this particular comic to push a new toy that is being released, then Megatron will be placed in a main role in that comic.

In spite of the whims of IDW and Hasbro (the toy company which ultimately owns the Transformers license), the writer of More Than Meets the Eye (MtMtE) and Lost Light, James Roberts, who maintained his position across the rebranding, has plots which have a remarkable coherency and cohesion. Mysteries from the first issue of MtMtE come into play in a big way in the mid-30s, the 50s, or even finally culminate in Lost Light. If my memory serves me correctly, all but one of the questions posed in the first issue have finally been answered, but if experience serves me correctly, I will again find myself flipping back through the very first pages to follow a new trail that Roberts will next reveal in the narrative. The one question not answered is the driving force behind the plot, a simple enough question: “Where are the Knights of Cybertron?”, the mythical founders of the Transformers’ home planet who the crew of the ship the Lost Light hope to find and gain their assistance in rebuilding Cybertron after its destructive civil war. Along the way, the crew find themselves waylaid and misdirected by wartime tensions that have followed them on their quest away from the ruins of Cybertron into space, interpersonal relationships of the friends, rivals, and nemeses who are all part of the crew, and by the individual histories, goals, and machinations of characters with their own agendas.

While Roberts’ attention to detail is remarkable, and his plots and mysteries compelling, his greatest strength lies in his character writing. The crew of the Lost Light is large, and while he does have a core group that the narrative most often focuses on, that group consists of around a dozen characters, all of whom he juggles smoothly enough to give compelling personalities and motivations to each, and minor characters as well are distinctive and memorable. The relationships between characters can be touching, funny, intense, and sometimes all of the above.

There are moments throughout the series that feel “comic book”-y: cliffhangers that are more misleading than not at the end of issues to carry the reader’s attention to next month, deaths that are debatably shock value, fake-out deaths, and characters brought back from the dead. Most of the time, though, even the back-to-back plots about stumbling across the dead bodies of apparent clones of most of the crew, the ship and almost all of the crew disappearing into thin air, and time travel, feel remarkably grounded. It is the characters and their reactions that sell these most outrageous plots, because in each of them there lies a heart that is deeply human. The mad scientist Brainstorm carries a briefcase everywhere, even to the funeral of his best friend’s husband (the Transformers-equivalent term for spouse is “conjux endura,” a term Roberts introduced to the franchise), and refuses to open it or tell anyone what it contains. It happens to be the key to his time machine, which he spent centuries inventing, intending to return to the past and stop the war from ever happening. Because he was created after the war began, as a disposable foot soldier, he would undo himself from existence, and this is a price he means to pay to save the life of a fellow Transformer that he loved. Ultimately, Brainstorm cannot bring himself to pull the trigger to kill the Transformer who started the war, because for all of his time spent building weapons, he has never personally taken a life.

The war is over at the onset of MtMtE, but its reverberations echo through the story as the characters try to understand for what, exactly, they destroyed their planet and nearly their entire species. In flashback, Roberts returns to the origins of the war – and not just during the crew’s time travel misadventure – and its onset because of deeply stratified social classes. An oppressive government enforced the belief that the alternate mode (vehicle, microscope, gun, USB stick) a Transformer was constructed with at their time of creation determined their life trajectory. A microscope would be part of the intellectual class; a truck, a miner; and a USB stick was what was known as one of the “Disposables,” who were built to die after the fuel they were supplied with at creation ran out. This classism and discrimination by circumstance of “birth” is made more concrete by the mechanical nature of the Transformers, but it is not an issue unfamiliar in our own lives. The Functionists are portrayed as unequivocally bad, and their religious extremism lingers in villains who the Lost Light encounter, but at what point did the revolution against them step too far into the destructive war that ruined Cybertron, and then Earth when the Transformers met humanity?

As one can follow the political thread of Roberts’ writing, the social issues highlighted are just as, perhaps even more, timely. Roberts is given freedom to build off of the continuity created by other writers before him, one aspect of which is the concept that Transformers are all only male. A prior writer of Transformers books have said this limits the kind of emotion that the Transformers can have, lacking love because they lack women, but Roberts invented the term “conjux endura” mentioned above. He first applies it to the quiet, committed romance between the characters Chromedome and Rewind, two Transformers who use male pronouns, say “I love you,” and hold hands, both as the main focus of a panel and unremarked upon in the background of other action. (Neither of them have mouths, so kissing is out of the question.) Brainstorm creates time travel in an attempt to save his crush, Quark, who is also a male robot.

Roberts is not the only current writer who has found the inability to write female characters without breaking established canon limiting. Another Transformers series, Windblade, named after its titular (female) character, published during MtMtE’s run,, introduced a number of lost colonies of Transformers who all have robots who use female pronouns. Suddenly their main planet of Cybertron and its male-only robots is no longer the norm – it is in fact an anomaly in Transformers culture – and its sole female character who has a convoluted backstory to justify her gender now has company who do not need their gender explained. Since the Windblade series, MtMtE has added several female Transformers to its core group, and many more on the sides. In one issue, at a dance party, the robot Skids is remarked to have been “flirting” with “that hothead,” a female Transformer named Firestar whose head looks as though it is on fire. Later Nautica mentions Firestar to Skids and Skids refers to her using the pronoun “he”; Nautica corrects him, telling him that Firestar is a “she.” Skids apologizes, calling his use of “he” a “force of habit,” and the fact that he assumed himself to be flirting with a male robot is not remarked upon as a big deal in the narrative; neither are Chromedome and Rewind, nor is the gender of Brainstorm’s crush (the real matter there being, of course, his nearly erasing four million years of history). Later, in the first issue of Lost Light, the characters Lug and Anode are introduced, a pair of female conjux endurae who encounter an old acquaintance who refers to them both as “he.” Anode corrects him to tell him that both she and Anode now refer to themselves as “she,” saying that after the two of them had explored the galaxy, and encountered other species with more genders than Cybertron had, that “It’s just a better fit.” [They two do have mouths, and do kiss on-panel.]

For a story about giant alien robots who can transform into planes and cars (though they rarely do transform within the pages of this comic, and a reader could be forgiven for forgetting that this is what “Transformers” refers to) and are so long-lived that they fought a war for four million years, their politics and social issues feel timely to humanity today. Interwoven with memorable characters, and plots that leave wide room for the reader to theorize where it will go next and enough clues to predict it, Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye and Lost Light always leave me eagerly awaiting the next issue.

[I would be remiss, as this is a comic book, not to acknowledge the artists who work on the book and truly bring the series and the characters to life. Comic books are not always known for having the best art, but the creative team deliver time and time again. Know that there are far more than Roberts whose presence in making the series should not be understated - Alex Milne and Jack Lawrence as the main artists; Josh Burcham, Joana Lafuente, and Josh Perez as the main colorists; and numerous guest artists. Their work is a far cry from the difficult-to-parse designs and muted colors of the Bay films, and while I’ve focused on the writing, the art cannot be taken for granted.]

Addendum: November 2018.

Today, Lost Light came to a close at issue 25, after a nearly seven-year-long run between it and More Than Meets the Eye. Earlier I spoke of the troubles of executive meddling, and this ending is no different; Roberts has spoken on Twitter, his primary platform for communicating with fans, about how he had hoped for a longer run and still had stories that he wished to tell and indeed had planned for. In the world of comics, though, MtMtE and Lost Light have had a remarkable run, and the IDW Publishing’s Transformers universe an even longer one. I can understand wanting a fresh start and a new jumping-on point for readers, but I will mourn the stories that weren’t told and hope that JRo (the fans’ affectionate nickname for Roberts) will dole out some more tidbits about what was to come.

Given this truncated length, the pacing of the plot of Lost Light overall does suffer in some places, especially towards its close. Knowing the broader context as I do, I find it hard to fully blame Roberts - he does his best with what he has, and his best is very good. At its close, Lost Light turns its focus to what made it great: even with the final mysteries solved, the heart and payoff of the series is in its characters. After so long following the crew and watching them grow and change -- sometimes for worse, often for the better -- I feel almost proud to see the end of their personal and relationship development. The real culmination of the series lies in issue 24, in a speech that Rodimus, captain of the Lost Light, makes to his crew; heartwarming and heartwrenching both, it is genuine and heartfelt and unprepared, a far cry from other speeches he has made. It shows Rodimus’ growth as much as it showcases that of the crew he has led, and it speaks to the reader as much as it does to the characters. Issue 25 is more an epilogue than anything. I cried. Of course I did. It’s hard to end the journey. It’s hard to say goodbye.

I hope that this won’t be the end of the Lost Light and its crew. I hope that the story will find itself new readers in its complete, finished form, in full collections that I hope will be compiled so that I can own about half of the run in double. And I hope that some of the final words of issue 24 rings true for the entire series as well: Don’t forget me.

[tfomegaquest]

I am curious about the SETI people if you want to talk about them? Also Trailbreaker?

Sure! I’d be happy to discuss SETI as it appears in TF:OQ!

In real life, SETI is literally all radios and satellites and firing prime numbers at distant stars, but you also know that if aliens showed up on Earth, they’d be the first people in there, excited to meet them and fighting for peaceful relations. In OQ, SETI are still largely radios and prime numbers, but they also go around in RV’s decked out with radio equipment to check out any reported alien sightings. They’re a bit like the ghostbusters, “we are ready to believe you”!

SETI shows up in what would be the first episode. Teletraan 1 comes back online with a huge burst of radio signals and hexadecimal, which they pick up and the nearest ‘Mobile Research Team’ shows up to check it out - all radios and beeping. The Hillarians are understandably wary of these apparently crazy conspiracy theorists in two RV’s and multiple pickups, especially when they start addressing each other with various space related code names.The main two folks of interest are Europa (Real name Sarah Jane Davies) and her husband Caelus (Real name George). Europa is of the 'radio and prime numbers’ variety, while Caelus is more 'Roswell and foil hats’ - and he wears one, he swears it’s ironic but…

Anyway, SETI show up shortly after the Autobots stop Mount Hillary from covering the town in hot rock and lava - yeah it was actually a dormant volcano - and the excited babbling begins, 'where did you come from’ and 'how long have you been here’, etc. Whatever instrument Europa is waving about keeps disrupting the bots’ comm system and beeps whenever it passes their EM fields, they’re essentially annoyingly interested and keep getting in the way. Until Sector Seven shows up and tries to arrest Optimus Prime - then the placards come out and the tin foil hats are thrown out and megaphones start producing feedback everywhere. Then SETI becomes helpful - no one’s arresting Extraterrestrials on their watch!

'Mobile Research Team 4’ ends up parking in the back of the community centre and using one of the unused buildings as a base of operations. They’re frequently around and ultimately help set up the communication between the Ark and Cybertron. Knowing about radios and hexadecimal comes in useful when you’re dealing with giant robots.

Caelus and Europa will eventually be discussed in more detail, but I’ve gotten carried away again.

Now, onto Trailbreaker.Trailbreaker is the Autobots’ quartermaster, he’s in charge of the stores and supplies available and is also in charge of distributing the available supplies to everyone who needs them. He takes a daily inventory of the stores and is usually stationed near them to serve some sort of security. He’s popular enough, but most of the Cybertron squad only really talk to him when they want something.

He has always struggled with various degrees of depression and self esteem issues, but feelings of not being wanted have caused him to slip into alcoholism as a way of coping. It doesn’t help that he’s friendly with Broadside, who doesn’t have the best relationship with drinking either. No one’s really noticed yet, but it will end up noticed at some point - which may result in drama for poor Traily.

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #21- Situations in Which it is Appropriate to Stab Your Roommate

You know what’s generally considered bad for your health?

Getting fingers stuck into your brain meat.

Tailgate reveals himself to be immune to Tyrest’s “fall down on the floor” signal, because his hearing’s gone to complete shit due to Cybercrosis. Tailgate then turns off the “fall down on the floor” signal, allowing everyone back up. Tyrest dislikes this turn of events every much- so much so, in fact, he’s turned into a Nazgûl out of sheer rage.

Rodimus, feeling a bit bolstered by the fact that he’s gotten his hands on one of the massive guns the Legislators dropped, tries to talk a big game at Tyrest, before being reminded that a lot of their party is still at risk of dying, by way of their souls cheese-wizzing out of their heads.

Tyrest, now using Tailgate as a hostage, tells everyone to back off so he can go hang out with the Guiding Hand, otherwise he’s gonna poke holes in Cyclonus’ morality pet. Tailgate screams for Rodimus to fire, finally revealing that he’s been dying this whole time. Rodimus has a weird moment where the plot overrides his knowledge of his situation as a character, as he claims shooting them both is unnecessary, as it looks like someone’s already working on it.

Not sure how he saw the gun and not the man it was being held by. And Minimus has some fucking explaining to do.

Outside, Star Saber is yelling about everyone being unworthy of God’s grace, save for himself, because Real Bastard Hours are 24-fucking-7 with him around. Cyclonus decides that he’s going to deal with the stress of not being able to find his dying roommate through violence, and agrees to a religiously-inclined sword fight.

Star Saber has a good start, sucker-punching Cyclonus in the chin, holier-than-thou as he goes. Cyclonus turns the tables however, when he uses his remaining helmet horn to gouge one of Star Saber’s eyes out, revealing his fashion statement to be a deadly weapon in its own right.

Then we get a taste of Cyclonus’ personal brand of faith.

That’s a mighty high opinion of Tailgate you got there, pal. Quite the jump from “I think you’re pathetic.”

Unfortunately, having this little character moment gives Star Saber enough time to warp the hell away from Cyclonus’ Nazgûlian wrath.

Back with Zombie Bullshit Part 3, we get some friggin’ answers.

Minimus looks super tiny here, but remember that he’s still at least ten feet tall. This is not a man you can invite inside your house for a tea party.

After Minimus’ head got crushed, he had to Alien chest-burst his tiniest self out, which allowed him to grab that gun that’s as big as he is and shoot Tyrest in half. Rodimus has to be reminded again that people are still dying, including Brainstorm, which is weird, because he made it seem like he was forged a few issues back. Perceptor runs off to try and parse the Killswitch, and Pharma offers to help, striking a weirdly sultry pose as he does. Everyone ignores him, because that’s just what happens when you become evil and cut your old coworker in half hotdog-style- you get ignored.

Off in the corner, Swerve is talking to Tailgate about the fact that he didn’t tell anyone he was dying, then makes a joke about his impending demise, because Swerve has a lot of trouble handling serious situations. No one has helped him pop his nose back into place, either. This entire team is just falling apart.

Skids stares blankly at Ratchet and First Aid as they check to make sure all the cold-constructed ‘bots are still dying- they are- then remembers that he’s supposed to be watching Pharma.

Prowl only hires the best, clearly.

Skids runs for the portal, with First Aid right on his tail because there’s a gotdang score to settle, and also Rung for some reason. They find Pharma chilling in the tunnel, completely unable to get through to the other side, not because he’s guilty, but because there’s a forcefield in place.

Of course, because Tyrest was an engineer, and you can always find a running theme with everyone’s work, Rung theorizes that the forcefield is working with Aequitas rules, and actually can sense guilt- not of the legal sense, but of the personal variety.

Which sort of implies some unfortunate things about the Aequitas trials as a whole.

Skids starts sinking through, whereas Rung is hitting a wall. Rung, the hell you got to feel guilty about? What sort of horrors have you inflicted upon the world, you skinny creamsicle of a man?

Skids, people are dying. Can your personal nirvana not wait until after this galactic-scale crisis is resolved?

While Skids fucks off into the portal, First Aid’s taking care of Pharma, as Rung watches and has a Nam flashback to issue #6 in the distance.

Sometimes I wonder if First Aid is somehow aware of how Eugenesis went for him, and that’s why he’s so aggressive all the time in MTMTE.

With his revenge exacted, First Aid finally has that breakdown that’s been a long time coming.

You know what we haven’t had in a while? Gratuitous religious imagery.

“They call it the Eugenesis Code. Has something to do with intellectual property, I dunno.”

So this move they’re about to pull might kill Rodimus, and is for-sure going to annihilate the half of the Matrix they have. Bummer. Perceptor goes to finish setting up, leaving Rodimus and Minimus alone to discuss that thing Getaway brought up about Ultra Magnus luring the Lost Light to Luna 1.

Over on the floor, Tyrest isn’t dead, because of course he isn’t, and enacts the homophone game with Swerve and Tailgate as he relays an order to the Legislators.

Outside, all the Legislators stop whaling on Whirl with their swords and start parroting prime numbers at the sky.

Back with Rodimus and Minimus, it’s revealed that Magnus/Minimus/Miniminimus DID lure the Lost Light to the moon, but it was to have Tyrest yell at Rodimus for being a crappy captain. He didn’t know that Tyrest had gone completely bonkers.

The worst part is that Minimus doesn’t know the half of all the bullshit Rodimus has pulled since the end of the war.

No wonder Rodimus was so upset before the funeral- Overlord was partially his fault.

Prowl, prior to the Lost Light’s launch, had wormed his way into Rodimus’ brain, convincing him that an Autobot Phase Sixer was absolutely necessary for the safety of everyone. He, along with Drift, Brainstorm, the Duobots, and eventually Chromedome, assisted in what culminated in one hell of a bad day.

Rodimus would really prefer if this whole space-crucifixion didn’t kill him, because he’s feeling like he’s got a lot to make up for. Which, yeah. I’m guessing all of Tripodeca’s friends are going to be mighty sore about this whole thing once it comes to light.

And that’s a series wrap on Rodimus!

We get a brief intermission, as we find out where exactly Skids got to. It’s… somewhere. Not even he’s sure. He tries to ask for directions, but it would seem there’s a language barrier.

It really speaks volumes to Skids’ sense of self-confidence, that he’d see a giant ball of technicolor light and decide he’s gonna go try to talk to it.

Back at the current crisis at hand, Rodimus screams some more, the Matrix shatters alongside any hopes of finding the Knights of Cybertron, and Ratchet has himself a little smile, because that did the trick.

The reason we aren’t seeing Crankcase in this set of panels is because his head wound was also spewing oil, and he looks super nasty right now. Well, nastier than any of the Scavengers usually are on a day to day basis. They regularly drink corpse juice, they can’t NOT be nasty.

Unfortunately, we aren’t out of the woods yet, as that whole Legislator thing still needs to be taken care of. They pour into the room, throwing Swerve along with the steel door, as he shrieks in terror.

Back outside, Cyclonus and Whirl are having a little breather up on the edge of the smelting pool, since all the Legislators they were fighting went inside. Whirl, who is looking just awful, brings up that little deal he cooked up in issue #19, where Cyclonus would stop trying to murder him if they got through this fight. It’s important to remember that verbal contracts aren’t binding, and that Cyclonus didn’t agree to anything.

And that’s a series wrap on Whirl!

Actually, no, Cyclonus was just daydreaming. He agrees to put the past behind them, then shoots off to go find Tailgate.

Back in Legislator City, things are getting dicey, as Rung screams for Skids to come back, because if nothing else, he knows he can depend on Skids when the chips are down.

Skids, playing to Rung’s expectations, vaults over Pharma’s headless body out of the portal, and starts kicking ass. In the background, some creepy tentacle nonsense pulls Pharma through the portal. This, surely, will never come up again, nor will it be a major plot point down the road.

Because Tyrest decided he was going to play fast and loose with the law, Minimus has no idea what “one one” is meant to refer to. Tailgate decides that cram school did serve a purpose after all, and books it towards that massive computer off in the corner. After a bit of combing through the index, he finds what he’s looking for and makes a few choice edits to the Autobot Code. The Legislators freeze in place, and Tailgate reveals that he’s just completely voided a section of the law.

Just off panel, Minimus barely contains the urge to pop Tailgate’s cubic little head off of his neck. Not that he’d have much time to do it anyway.

Smash cut to the next day, where Tailgate’s laid out in a dark room, Cyclonus sitting by his side. Chromedome is also there for some reason. Rung is nowhere to be seen, despite him likely being a better fit for this situation than the guy whose husband died less than a week ago. Chromedome leaves, because this is a very intimate moment between these two guys who are roommates.

Tailgate, who has developed an honest-to-god “guy-who-is-going-to-die-by-the-end-of-the-movie” cough, tells Cyclonus that he made him something, and it’s waiting in their room for him. I’m going to guess it’s a macaroni art picture of the two of them fighting a dragon.

Tailgate has literal minutes to live, and Cyclonus just sits there, Nazgûling with grief, until Tailgate decides that NOW is the time to reveal his hand.

…Well, there’s the answer to the Babygate question.

Tailgate’s come to the conclusion that all his wanting to be important and a hero was a bit misguided, because as it turns out, it kind of sucks when it’s your final act in the world of the living. He really would have preferred to do just about anything else with his last days, even if it had been just chilling in his room with Cyclonus.

Tailgate asked Cyclonus off-panel to do him a solid and kill him before the Cybercrosis did, a plea which Cyclonus couldn’t agree to. Then he gets a call, and the tension of the scene is somewhat ruined by some goofy-ass cinematic parallels.

Where the hell is Tailgate, that Cyclonus has to book it down the hall to make it to the medibay? That isn’t clear, but what is is that Tailgate has the rottenest luck in the world; they figured out a cure for Cybercrosis, but his case is too advanced for treatment to be effective.

Cyclonus thinks that this is a major bummer, but thanks Ratchet for trying anyway. Whirl tries to talk to him, and he better watch out, before that little deal he made gets thrown out the friggin’ window.

Tailgate hits the final two minutes, as Cyclonus returns, sword in hand.

And that’s a series wrap on Tailgate!

…That was almost a sincere one, you know. Tailgate was supposed to die here, in an earlier draft of the story. He didn’t, because Roberts realized it would completely nerf Cyclonus’ character development. I can’t even begin to imagine who Cyclonus would have been if both the Rewind/Chromedome thing hadn’t gone over well, AND Tailgate got offed.

Later on, Ultra Magnus is back in action, Minimus Ambus having redonned the armor to reassume his position as S.I.C. of the Lost Light. He discusses the changes that have come about as a result of their time on Luna 1 with Rodimus, who’s pretty bummed about the whole situation. A quick rundown of all the nonsense that happened:

The mystical portal to the Guiding Hand no longer works

Hot Spot faded out and won’t come back on

Ambulon is dead

First Aid is very sad about Ambulon being dead

The ship is falling apart

The only person who seems to have had any sort of a positive experience is Brainstorm.

…James, did you put that baby inside that robot?

Anyway, so yeah. Luna 1 sucks butt. One star, would rate zero if I could, I don’t care if it has sweet rocket thrusters strapped to the back of it and is super mysterious, and might potentially be an idea pulled from the delightfully earnest Children of a Lesser Matrix.

Later on, Magnus makes his rounds, stopping by Cyclonus and Tailgate’s room to check the vibe. Turns out that stabbing sick people is considered medicine on Cybertron, at least when you’re using a Great Sword to do it.

Whirl had the awesome idea to slap Cyclonus’ weird spark energy into Tailgate’s frail body, so it could kickstart his heart and give him enough time to actually get treated for Cybercrosis.

Ultra Magnus is impressed, and perhaps a bit concerned with how easily Cyclonus was willing to risk dying so that Tailgate could potentially live. So much so, in fact, that Cyclonus gets an achivement- he’s finally collected enough good karma to be allowed to have friends!

Looking mighty fresh-faced there, Cyclonus. And is that a new horn? Someone’s got a plastic surgeon on speed-dial.

No, this is actually the gift that Tailgate made him, the one he was working on in Hoist’s workshop back in issue #15, just before the Overlord attack. The one we never got to actually see, probably because it would be very easy to tell what it was and who it was for if we had. The set up for our slowburn romance has to be just so, no shortcuts allowed.