#oh I might make a rant/vent tomorrow about something not so good that my school did today

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 2.10 (Working Girl)

Lizzie unintentionally breaking the fourth wall

- Have we already established the fact that Lizzie (not Hilary) is a really bad actress? She tries to butter her parents up by giving them compliments to get them to kindly raise her allowance. But of course, they are able to see right through her and give her a big fat NO. Lizzie is fuming!

Poor Miranda!

- The natural thing for Lizzie to do after this is to then vent to her friends at the Digital Bean. Miranda spots a ‘busboy wanted’ sign in the distance and tries to tell Lizzie that she could get a job to pay for her things. Lizzie is too busy in her rant to even notice what she’s trying to tell her but for some strange reason, when Gordo points it out to her instead, she suddenly pays attention and hears him out. Weird.

- Anyways, Lizzie easily gets the job and her first day is tomorrow. She thinks it’s going to be a piece of cake. Don’t jinx it Lizzie...

- The next morning, Lizzie announces her new job to her parents and they are taken aback because they didn’t expect her to get one all of a sudden. They are also worried that she’s taking on too many responsibilities and there might be too much on her plate. I think it’s safe to say they’re probably right. 

Lizzie Starts Her Job

- We skip to Lizzie on her first day working at the Digital Bean and she quickly realizes there’s a lot to do as the new busboy. And it doesn’t help that her manager seems to be a total nightmare to work for. She’s so bossy! I would hate having a manager like her. 

- And it doesn’t get better from then on because Lizzie is starting to get paranoid about her friends making even the smallest mess in the café because she has to be the one to clean up after them. But you know what, who could blame her? Especially when you have these two around: 

Can these two ever get a life?

- And unsurprisingly, Lizzie’s manager demands that she cleans up the spill when it’s so obvious that Kate and Claire were the ones who purposely caused it. Lizzie is now starting to feel regrets about taking this job.

- The next day (which I’m assuming is a Saturday?), Sam notices Lizzie looking distraught about having to go to work and tells her she can always quit if she wants to. He also lets Lizzie know that she’s just a kid and the only responsibilities she should have is being a good student, a good friend and a good daughter. Now that’s really solid advice from Sam...and Jo (because she probably told him to convince Lizzie to quit)

Lizzie Quits After....3 Days?

Lizzie’s better than me. I would’ve thrown that spoon right at his face lol

- During her shift that day, she’s dealing with a bunch of difficult customers, which, again, includes Kate and Claire. On top of that, her supervisor (whatever her name is) is just soooo not being understanding or thoughtful towards Lizzie.  

Also, if I were Lizzie, I would’ve popped Claire in her forehead and quit my job afterwards. Lizzie could’ve gotten really hurt thanks to her. 

That guy totally deserved that

- Lizzie has had enough and decides to give everyone who did her wrong a piece of her mind. I’m glad she manage to get that all out of her system but because of her rant, Lizzie gets fired from her role as busboy at the Digital Bean. But you know what? Good on her!

- After getting the pink slip, Lizzie comes home and tells her friends what just happened. She actually seems relieved that she doesn’t have to deal with the stress from her job anymore. Even just watching her work makes me feel stressed out. 

B-Plot: Miranda Doesn’t Like Breaking Young Boy’s Hearts

- Matt is currently feeling down in the dumps because he thinks that Melina doesn’t want to be friends with him anymore. Well, more like doesn’t like him anymore. He expresses this to his friend, Reggie, whom I don’t think we’ve been introduced to beforehand. 

- It’s not so much that Melina doesn’t talk to him anymore. It’s more so that she hasn’t been getting Matt into any trouble recently. I mean, we all know that this weird relationship of theirs has pretty toxic tendencies. But she’s actually now focusing her attention on this other boy named Jared.

- Reggie suggests to Matt that he ask his sister, Lizzie for some advice as to why Melina has been treating him differently these days. Matt hesitates at first but he realizes that he really has no other choice. 

This made me laugh so much. Matt literally insinuated that Jo isn’t a girl. I mean, she is a woman but I’m sure his mom more than qualifies.  

- Matt then shows up at Lizzie’s job to tell her about his problem. But their conversation is cut short by Lizzie’s manager. She’s beginning to really annoy me. 

It also doesn’t help that Lizzie can be quite clumsy sometimes...

- While Lizzie is busy being a total mess at work, Matt is lucky enough to be able to ask Miranda for advice instead since she is, indeed a girl. Miranda basically tells him that it’s Melina’s problem and how she isn’t able to realize how great of a kid Matt is. She also had to add that there are others girls who would be so lucky to go out with him. See how this is going?

Look at Matt’s face; He totally just misunderstood Miranda’s intention in everything she just told him lol

And now he’s gone full-blown stalker mode. Yikes!

- The next day, Lizzie, Miranda and Gordo come home from school to chill at Lizzie’s place but Matt uses this opportunity to give Miranda a ‘thank-you’ card:

Oh my word. Miranda better run for the hills hahahaha. Also, does the music have to be THAT dramatic when she opens his card? LOL

- It’s one thing to have crushes but Matt takes it to a whole other level. I get that he’s like 11/12 but still...

He’s also now calling her and sending her a bunch of balloons with his and her face on them. 

- On their three way call, Miranda is asking Gordo for his advice on how to gently turn Matt down. To my surprise, Miranda still doesn’t want to hurt Matt’s feelings and actually agrees to go on a bike-riding date with him. To be honest, if I were Miranda, it would also be hard for me to turn him down. I’m not exactly sure why. It must be the people pleaser in me...

By the way, is it weird that I love Miranda’s outfit here? Very Avril Lavigne circa 2002.

His smile...

- The next day, with Gordo’s support, Miranda tries to work up enough courage to reject Matt but before she could let it out, Melina marches into the living room  and confronts Miranda for ‘stealing her man’. Yikes, Miranda just got dissed by an 11 year old lmao. 

Melina just proved to all of us that she likes Matt back. That’s sweet...in a twisted kind of way.

- Oh and just like how Gordo pointed out, it’s quite embarrassing that Miranda just got dumped by Matt of all people. Again, poor Miranda...

- There’s also one last surprise for Miranda. Apparently Matt had a cake made for her that Lizzie has taken out of the fridge. And because of that, she has no other choice but to act like a pig and eat the frosting of the cake with her bare hands just to prevent Lizzie from seeing what’s written on the cake. I would have done the same thing lol.

Overall Thoughts

- I found this episode to be one the funniest Lizzie Mcguire episodes so far. I felt like almost every scene either made me slightly chuckle or laugh out loud. From Lizzie’s short stint at the Digital Bean as a busboy to Matt’s sudden crush on Miranda, I was thoroughly entertained from start to finish.

- Honestly speaking, had Matt been able to dial down the craziness in terms of ‘pursuing’ someone just like he did with Miranda, he actually knows how to be a pretty romantic kid. No wonder Melina likes controlling being around him. And seeing her confronting Miranda like that and basically telling her that she’s just a rebound was hilarious to watch. 

- Lizzie’s new job as the busboy was fascinating to watch because it’s the first time we see her working a job and taking on responsibilities outside the house and school. Even though she got fired, I can’t imagine anyone being able to put up with that bossy manager. Like if the busboy turnover rate is consistently high, surely that has something to do with the work environment and the people running the internet café, right? Or can they at least hire more busboys to spread out the workload? Solutions people!

[simplyotometrash]

Blind Dates

Gavin x MC

Warnings: None

Gavin and MC go on blind dates....just not with each other

All of my MCs are written with they/them pronouns unless otherwise asked!

Minor set him up on a blind date. Without him even consenting to it. Gavin hated the very thought of going on a date with someone who wasn’t them. It wasn’t as if they were dating, he hadn’t gotten his nerve up enough to ask. Getting shot at and stabbed and being in overall dangerous situations were way easier than asking the one person he had feelings for out on a date.

“You’re gonna like her! She’s super cool and fun and very athletic!” Minor had said when he dropped the news. 

But it wasn’t MC. He’d been head over heels for MC since high school. Since they saved him. After high school, he honestly didn’t think he would actually see MC again. Fate lead them back into his life. He intended to keep them there this time. He wasn’t going to sit back and watch them walk out of his life. He wanted to ask them out. He’d meant to the last few times they spent time together. Yet something always kept him from getting those words out. It was as if they would get trapped in his throat. They never came out. If he wanted to say something, it could never be the words he wanted to say. 

So why was Gavin going on this blind date exactly? Because Minor had already set it up with the girl and he didn’t want to be rude. Gavin would have to simply explain the misunderstanding and apologize to her for wasting her time. He just hoped she didn’t get to upset. He wasn’t good when people cried. Comforting people had never really been his strong suit.

Gavin sighed and adjusted the cuffs of his jacket.. A dinner date of all things. Why couldn’t it have been a simple lunch date? Dinner seemed so formal and fast. Lunch or maybe coffee would have been better. He was tempted to kill Minor for the blind date later on. Gavin didn’t want to be in that position. His heart belonged to MC and yet he was set up on a date with someone else entirely. It was not even fair to the poor girl he got set up with. She didn’t even have a chance.

“Gavin?” A voice, clear as a bell, interrupted him from his slightly brooding thoughts.

MC. They were waiting at the same restaurant he was. Oh. They looked stunning. Far more dressed up than he was. Their clothes accented their frame nicely, hugging their body in the right places. The bracelet he had given them dangled on the wrist and it caused his heart to skip a beat.

“Hey, MC. What’re you doing here?”

They laughed. Oh that laugh. It was so beautiful that even angels would stop to listen. “Kiki set me up on some blind date. I didn’t want to come but I couldn’t just turn it down, you know? I figured it couldn’t hurt to humor her and go on this date.”

That was a relief. They weren’t on a date willingly with someone. “Minor did the same thing to me.”

“What’re the odds! I hope you have fun tonight.” They smiled at him, tucking some hair back behind their ear. “Anyone on a date with you is lucky!”

I could say the same thing about you. He thought dismally. Even if they didn’t want to be on the date necessarily, he couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his heart. He wanted to be the one they were on a date with. Not some other guy. What if they took a liking to this other man and actually started dating him? Gavin would lose his chance before he ever got up his nerve.

“Mr. Bai? Sorry for the wait, your party is already at your table. Please, right this way.” A host led him away from you. And his heart felt like a stone in water.

He walked to his table to be greeted by a woman in a beautiful dress, her red hair chopped off short, freckles adorning her skin. 

“Hi, Gavin, right? Minor’s told me about you.” She smiled at him as he sat down. “I’m Eliza. It’s a pleasure.”

“Yeah, hello. I’m Gavin. Funny, Minor hasn’t said anything about you. He wouldn’t even tell me the name of who he set me up with.” The chuckle that left his throat sounded happy but was laced with malice. Oh he could kill Minor for this.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw MC and tall, dark haired man in a flashy suit walk to a table a little ways away.. Could you say tacky? It made him feel...angry. Just pure anger. The guy was peacocking, trying to make you like him by looking flashy. Hmph.

“So, uh, Eliza,” Gavin cleared his throat, “Minor said you play sports. What do you play?”

This was how the entire night went. Gavin and Eliza trying to make small talk, albeit awkwardly at first, while Gavin kept watch over you out of the corner of his eye. It looked like you hadn’t gotten a word in all night. You looked pained as you faked a smile. He could tell it wasn’t genuine. Your smile never once reached your eyes during your date with that guy. Gavin could relax knowing that the other guy was not doing too well. That was when things began going much better with Eliza.

“I can tell you weren’t really interested,” Eliza laughed as he escorted her out of the restaurant.

Gavin went so red that it reached the tips of his ears. “I’m so sorry. I tried to not be rude. Minor had-”

“It’s okay, man, I understand. I didn’t get much choice in saying no to him either. He thinks because I’m single that I must need help finding a guy.” She mussed up her red hair with a bit of an eye roll. “Truth is, this was never going to work out. I’m a lesbian.”

“Oh.” That was all he could think to say. It wasn’t a bad thing. Just not what he expected to hear at the end of a date. He must have sighed though because she laughed again. 

“Yeah “oh”. You’re cool, though, we should play basketball together some time.” She was waiting to hail a taxi. At least he knew should get home safe. Eliza was a nice woman. Gavin was ready to walk her home if she didn’t take a cab or have a ride. “By the way, I think you should go make your move. The girl you were eyeing all night. She’s the one whose got your heart in a knot, right? Go get her, tiger. Text me and let me know how it goes.”

Eliza got into her cab with a wink and a wave, having already handed him her number. Right. It was now or never. He needed to go to you and tell you how he felt. That whole date ordeal proved it to him. Gavin couldn’t do anything if he never confessed. He didn’t have a chance in high school, he couldn’t lose his chance this time. 

Once he’d made it down an alleyway, Gavin took off up into the sky. The less time wasted the better. Flying would get him to your place in record time. He only hoped that he had a chance. If not, maybe being told so would help him finally let go. Closure helped the heart heal after all. The wind whipped his hair and clothes as he soared, the air felt good on his skin. It had been stuffy in the restaurant. The fresh air is where he belonged. He and the wind were connected. 

Upon landing and making it up to your door, he tried to make himself look presentable. Though he didn’t think it was working. If only he knew how to calm down the racing of his heart. It was beating so hard that it felt as if it might break bones. Waiting for you to open the door felt like an eternity. He could hear your TV, he knew you weren’t asleep. Not to mention your lights were on as far as he could see.

“Gavin?” You blinked at the sight of him. “Come in, what are you doing here? It’s a bit late, you know!”

“I could ask you why you’re still awake,” he snorted, sliding his shoes off upon entering. 

“I just managed to finish a proposal for work! I’m going to have Anna review it tomorrow. It’s the first time in a while I’ve been doing before I have to present to Victor.” You pulled him to sit on your couch. 

“How did your blind date go?”

Your smile faltered and you failed to suppress a groan.

“That bad, huh?” He smiled apologetically and patted the top of your head.

“The guy wouldn’t let me speak! Every time I tried, he would cut me off to talk about himself some more. He kept flaunting his fake watch at me trying to get me to notice. I could tell it wasn’t expensive, it was some knock off store brand. He tried to order my food for me without even knowing what I wanted, saying he knew better!” You continued to vent about your awful blind date. 

Gavin felt awful that you’d had such a bad time, but he couldn’t contain his smile. You were so expressive. So cute. It was like you were in your own world while you ranted about everything the jerk had done throughout the night. It was shame he couldn’t rescue you from that. At least you were safe. He was thankful for that. 

“Enough about my god awful night. What about you? She was very beautiful.” Was that a hint of envy in your voice?

“Eliza was cool.” He gauged the look on your face. You were bad at hiding things. “But there isn’t going to be a second date. We’re going to play basketball sometime as friends, she just isn’t interested in dating.” It would be wrong for him to tell you that she was interested in women. It wasn’t exactly his place to say that to anyone after all. Not without permission from Eliza.

“I’m sorry. You two looked nice together.” 

“I wasn’t interested in her, either.” Gavin took in a breath, Now or never. “To be honest, I wished all night that I had been on a date with you instead. I...I’m in love with you. I have been for a while now and- wait! Why are you crying? Please, MC, please don’t cry.”

You wiped your eyes, laughing as more tears spilled. “I’m not upset, Gav! We both went on dates with people we didn’t want to when the person we wanted to be with was on the other side of the restaurant!”

His face went bright pink. That meant you...felt the same way? “You...you...”

“I’m in love with you, too, silly!” You smacked his arm with a throw pillow, making him fake wince with a grin on his face. “I wanted to tell you but you’re so handsome. You have beautiful girls throwing themselves at you. I didn’t think I stood a chance.”

“Come here,” he gently urged you to move into his side. He planted a kiss on the top of your head. “No more stupid blind dates. Next time, I’m taking you out.”

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[skzsauce01]

3.14

Description: March 14 is both White Day and Pi Day. You're a sucker for puns, so obviously Felix has to make you a pie.

Warning: none

Word Count: 2,116

Pairing: fem!reader x Felix

Contrary to what his friends thought, Felix is not a complete idiot. Sure, he might be failing calculus, but he knows your handwriting like he knows the Pythagorean Theorem.

He knows it very well.

The note attached to the box of chocolates is not signed, but the sharp curves of your characters are a dead giveaway. He can't lie; seeing the store-bought box makes his heart sink. He hoped you had some semblance of romantic feelings for him, but he never saw an inkling. However, when he pulls off the white ribbon, he is ecstatic to see that his previous assumptions were wrong: the heart-shaped chocolate inside is hand decorated with lines of icing and carefully dotted with pink sprinkles, which means you are actually into him. He is smiling so much. He yells down the hallway filled with tired teenagers who couldn't care less about how he has a Valentine.

“My crush likes me back!” he shouts, earning him a few grossed-out looks.

He leaves the chocolate in his locker, but he tucks the note-- Happy Valentine's Day, Felix <3-- into his calculus textbook and thinks of less than 3's all the way to class.

However, last month's delight is now this month's dilemma. He almost forgets about White Day until Chan asks him what he is going to give you in return. His nervous laugh gets a sympathetic look and a well-intended but not helpful suggestion to buy an expensive box of chocolate. The two main problems with Chan's idea is that Felix has limited funds and anything store-bought just doesn’t show off what a great boyfriend he can potentially be.

Never mind that he doesn't even know when White Day is exactly.

Google tells him that it's on March 14. Felix has been stuck doing math for multiple hours per day, so his first thought is That's Pi Day.

Then it hits him.

He'll make you a pie. A pie so beautiful and delicious that it will make the relationship official. Instagram official.

He's jittery during the entire day. He has only a couple days to make sure his plan goes smoothly. The pie has to be perfect.

After school, Felix takes the bus to the grocery store and searches up apple pie recipes on the way there. His eyes grow wide as soon as he realizes how much work he has to do. To motivate himself, he opens the front cover of his calculus textbook and rereads your handwritten note from last month. This will all be worth it, he tells himself.

When he arrives at the grocery store, he heads straight to the produce section. Each recipe recommended different kinds of apples, so screw it; you are going to get an everything apple pie. Like an everything bagel, but apple pie.

Back at home, he has Chan in a Discord call with him as he dices up apples and cuts strips of pie dough. Chan's not doing much, just reading aloud pie making tips that Felix has seen over thirty times while looking up recipes. Felix tunes him out at what has to be the fifth mention of squeezing lemon juice on top of the chopped apples to prevent browning.

"I know already. I know what I'm doing," Felix says. "Why are you so worried anyway?"

Chan's voice is shrill and tinny as he practically screeches out, "Because you've never made a pie before, and you only have until tomorrow to get it done!"

"High risk, high reward?"

"That's not how it works!" There's a sigh from Chan's end. "Why did you choose pie? Chocolate would have been fine, too."

He considered just melting down and molding chocolate for your White Day gift. However, the homemade chocolate you gave him on Valentine's Day was so elegant and elaborate, a normal gift wouldn't suffice.

White Day also happens to be on Pi Day, and Felix knows how much you love a good math pun and a good apple pie. Hence why he is spending the night before White Day baking.

He tosses the diced fruit with the apple pie spice he picked up at the grocery store.The apple-and-spice mixture goes into the store-bought pie crust soon after, and then Felix searches up how to make a lattice.

Actually, why doesn't he put Chan to work?

"Chan, how do I make a lattice?" he asks, using the same tone he would when talking to Siri.

Chan grumbles, protesting that he's not his personal AI assistant, but Felix can hear him typing away. While Chan reads off a list of instructions and sends him video links, Felix wipes his flour-dusted fingers on his no-longer-white apron and checks his phone for messages from you. There's nothing new; the latest message in the chat between the two of you is still a picture of question 19 of his calc book with a big question mark drawn on. He sees that you haven't even seen the message yet, so you must be busy.

Felix picks up the strips of dough and follows Chan's instructions. It's easier than he expected, but the design still looks off.

Oh well. It's not too late to start over without ruining the entire design.

"Did it turn out okay?" Chan asks, breaking Felix out of his thoughts.

"It's… not bad," is the best answer he can give. He takes a picture and sends it to his friend.

Chan laughs at the crooked placements and the less-than-stellar job Felix has done at cutting the strips. "I can tell it's a lattice at least. Is it baking yet?"

"You're more anxious than I am," he remarks as he sticks the pie into the preheated oven.

"Well, someone has to be! It's your first White Day together! It has to go well."

"Which is why I'm making an apple pie for her!" Felix shouts. He realizes how loud it was and apologizes. "I didn't mean to yell at you."

"It's fine. I was being annoying, wasn't I?"

He says, "Yes," with no hesitation, and Chan laughs.

"She's your first girlfriend, and you're pretty much my little brother. I have good reason to be stressed out for you," he explains. Felix hears him typing again, and he has a feeling he's about to receive more unsolicited advice. "Anyway, did you put an egg wash on it? All these recipes are saying something about an egg wash."

"Chan."

"Right," he sighs. "I'll stop."

They switch topics to something not pie related. Felix complains about not understanding calculus, while Chan groans about how long his statistics problems take him. After a heated debate on whether calculus or statistics is harder, Felix phone buzzes with a message from you.

When he checks it, he sees a picture of your notes with a bright red circle drawn around a section labeled, "Partial Sum Decomp. When the Denominator's Power is Greater than 2."

His phone buzzes again, and a new message from you reads, "I gotchu babe."

He is so grateful that you pay attention in class. He sends back a heart emoji as Chan calls out, "You still there?"

"Sorry. Y/N texted me," he says as he reads another message from you.

Y/N <3: Wanna do homework together?

Me: Sure

Felix puts his phone on the counter and tells Chan the news. "I'm going to do homework with Y/N now. See you tomorrow?"

He can hear Chan smiling. "Have fun. Don't spoil the surprise."

"Stop projecting your worries onto me."

Before Chan can defend himself, Felix ends the call and starts a new one with you. He quickly gets a chat message that just reads, "Don't call me out like this >:(."

You answer the Discord call. "Hey."

Your voice is clear and sweet, a stark contrast to Chan's anxious ramblings. Felix smiles. The lilting in your voice is soothing, and he can tell you just woke up from a power nap based off of your soft tone.

"Hi," he says back. "Sleep well?"

There's a brief pause as you wake your brain up to formulate an answer. You reply, "I slept for three hours straight, but I also dreamt that I got a 47 on yesterday’s test."

He laughs because your dream is going to be his reality. "You'll be alright. You know what's going on."

"But the last question!" The sleepiness is replaced by fiery passion, and he hears the unmistakable sound of you slamming a palm against a table.

He lets you vent again and checks the pie in the oven. He thinks it's turning out well? The apples are bubbling a bit, and the crust looks more brown. He's never made one before; how can he tell? There's only a few more minutes left to bake it for.

With you still talking and oblivious to the world, he rushes to his room and grabs his textbook with his homework tucked inside. Just as he's back at the counter, you finish ranting.

"... I checked three times! Seungmin said he got something completely different! I think I got it wrong," you say.

"You'll be alright," he repeats. He knows he sounds like he doesn't care, but you truly will be alright. The last quiz you got a 92 with only half an hour of studying. He's also very worried about the pie because it is bubbling over now. "You studied for five hours."

"Seungmin has the highest grade!" Before he can retort that Seungmin isn't that smart, you let out a frustrated sigh. "Never mind that. Let's just do homework. I finished up to 25."

"Uh, okay." The apple pie won't stop bubbling, and he grabs a pair of oven mitts. He cracks open the oven door, and a blast of steam hits his face. "I'll catch up, and you can…" He trails off, trying to come up with an idea while taking out the pie. At the very least, it smells good.

"I can give you all the answers?" you joke.

"That will be great," Felix replies. He sets the pie down on the counter with a heavy thud. He then starts furiously typing into Google, "bubbling pie."

"What happened?" you ask, your voice laced with concern. "Did something happen?"

He's scanning blocks of text, so he carelessly answers, "I don't know if I messed up your pie or not since it's spilling over."

"My pie?"

His mouth drops open after realizing what came out of it. He now has two options: admit defeat and tell you the truth or lie to you and potentially make things worse.

He decides to go with the former. He presses a small section of the lattice with his index finger and watches it sink into the filling. Goodbye, hard work. He managed to screw up just like Chan predicted with a single sentence. He doesn't want to lie to you about something as silly as this. You know when he's lying anyway.

"It was supposed to be a secret," he quietly says. "It was your White Day present."

There's a moment of silence and then a burst of laughter from you. "Felix, you made me a pie? But you never baked before!" There's a softer laugh, and you sigh, "That's so sweet of you. Thank you."

His face feels as hot as the oven. The lattice section starts breaking off. "I wanted to do something special. And I know you like your puns."

"Pun?"

So, you forgot. With a grin, he says, "It's Pi Day tomorrow, too."

"Felix Lee, you're an amazing boyfriend," you declare. "I will gladly accept your pie."

He quickly yanks his finger out. "Really? Chan said it looked kind of bad though."

"You made it! Of course I'm going to take it. Felix, I will take whatever you make, no matter how horrible it looks."

He is so proud. And a little offended that you actually think his baking is hideous. He snaps a picture of the finished pie, which has cooled down a bit and stopped bubbling like a witch cauldron, and sends it to you.

He hears the notification sound from your end of the call and your nails clicking against the screen of your phone not long after. After a few seconds of waiting for the picture to load, he hears you laugh.

He loves your laugh so much, but maybe not in this scenario.

"Oh my goodness. Chan was not kidding when he said it looked bad!"

"It's not that bad!" he protests. "You said you would take it no matter what!"

The laughter dies down, but there's still a playfulness to your words. "I know, I know. You're the best, babe."

"Mmmnh. Anyway, question 19?” he asks cheekily.

~ ad.gray

[myownworldstayout]

New Friends Ch. 9

Ch.1 / Ch.8 / Ch.10

(It’s here! Are you ready to be thoroughly annoyed with Agreste???)

Chat Noir managed to recharge rather quickly, but when he got back into the fight, Ladybug was nowhere to be found.

“Where could she be?” he thought aloud, scouring the rooftops for his Lady.

“Chat Noir!” Ladybug suddenly called from behind him. He turned around to see not one, but two heroes. Ladybug, of course, and a familiar, bee-like heroine. Except..

“That’s not Queen Bee?” He said in confusion. This new hero had two ponytails instead of one, and they were longer. Not to mention, she had black fuzz lining her waist and.. Were those shoulder pads?

Ladybug smiled, gesturing to their new friend. “Chat Noir, this is Bumblebee. She’s gonna help us out.” 

Bumblebee gave an excited wave and a bright grin. 

Chat squinted, putting his hands to his hips as he scrutinized the new hero. Then he smirked. 

“Any friend of My Lady is a friend of mine.” He extended his hand, which Bumblebee gladly took. 

Unfortunately, the introduction was interrupted by another loud crash. 

“Bumblebee, you know the plan.” Ladybug nodded to new recruit, who returned her nod before leaping onto another rooftop. 

“Chat Noir, help me distract Nocturne a little longer.” She then ordered next, glancing at him and jumping off the roof towards the crash. Chat followed without question, using his baton for momentum.

-

It didn’t take long to overlap Nocturne once again. To Ladybug’s dismay, there were even more people asleep now. Nocturne cackled as she flew through the streets, touching anyone she could with her staff.

“Hey, Sandman! Looking for us?” Chat Noir called out to her, causing the akuma to pause. 

“As a matter of fact, I was! Hawkmoth still needs those pretty jewels of yours that he’s so obsessed with!” She shouted, bolting in their direction. Ladybug and Chat Noir scattered, basically starting a game of cat and mouse. 

Nocturne raced after them, tapping anyone else she came in contact with along the way. She was so focused on the two main heroes, she didn’t notice the yellow blur following close behind her. 

“So, what’s the plan again?” Chat whispered, peeking around a chimney. Nocturne was currently searching the rooftops for them. They didn’t have much time till she found their hiding spots.

“You’ll see.” Ladybug smirked, landing next to him.

“Ah! There you are!” The akuma grinned, causing Chat to jump. She raised her staff, and Chat went to dodge, but Ladybug just stood there with a smile. 

He almost called out to her when the akuma suddenly sucked in a breathe, going completely still. That’s when he saw Bumblebee standing proudly behind her, clipping her top back to her side.

“Great Work!” Ladybug praised, pulling out the akumatized item, which was a balled up piece of paper.

“Thanks, it went better than I expected.” Aurore smiled appreciatively. 

Ladybug broke the akumatized item, then purified it. That was when Bumblebee’s miraculous beeped. 

“It was nice meeting you, Bumblebee. Maybe we can see each other under better circumstances next time.” Chat Noir joked, leaning on his baton with a cheshire grin.

“Not likely, kitty.” Ladybug smiled, giving a small wave. Bumblebee waved as well, before leaving with Ladybug to give back her miraculous.

~~~~

The two managed to sneak back into the gym without a problem. Thankfully, everyone was still groggy from waking up, so no one was there yet. Aurore detransformed, handing Ladybug the miraculous.

“If there’s anything else I can do to help, just let me know!” She said sincerely.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for your help today.” 

Aurore nodded, then ran off to find her other classmates and make sure they were alright. Ladybug did something similar, except she ran to the girl’s bathroom first to detransform.

 -

When she emerged, she found more students roaming the school halls to go back to their classes. Specifically, a blonde boy dressed in grey determinedly searching the school rooms. It was only when his silvery grey eyes met hers that he faltered.

“Cheng!” Felix called out to her, immediately walking in her direction.

“O-oh, hey Felix!” Marinette smiled.

“Where have you been??” He almost yelled once he caught up to her. “You’re not supposed to run off when there’s an akuma! What were you thinking!?” He continued in a scolding manner, nearly grabbing her by the shoulders to shake some sense into her or something. 

Marinette blinked at him, not used to this kind of behavior from Felix. 

“Ah, sorry. I- uhm, I got stuck in the bathroom.” she chuckled nervously, scratching the back of her head. 

Felix squinted at her, crossing his arms. How do you get stuck in a bathroom?? 

Nevertheless, he blew out a sigh, lightly touching his forehead. 

“Whatever. Just don’t run off again, alright? It’s both dangerous and reckless.” 

Marinette nodded, though she felt guilty knowing she couldn’t keep that promise to him. She was Ladybug, after all. She had her own duty to protect Paris. 

Even so.. Felix’s response to her sudden disappearance was strange. Was he- no. she was probably just imagining it, right? He couldn’t possibly be.. Worried?

“Let’s go. Class is bound to start back up in a few minutes.” Felix suggested, taking Marinette from her thoughts as he turned around to head back to the classroom. She followed behind him, trying not to replay his words too much in her mind.

~~~~~~

“What do you wanna do now, Marinette?” Tikki asked from the safety of Marinette’s purse. 

“Go home. Luka has band practice. Kagami has sword training, and Aurore has to figure out her presentation for the weather cast tomorrow. I think Wayhem is just gonna study at home.” Marinette explained, glancing down at her kwami.

“And Felix?”

Marinette flushed, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. “Well, he’s-”

“Marinette, wait up!” She was interrupted by Adrien, who was running up to catch her. 

Panic flashed across Marinette’s features, but she forced a smile.

“Oh, Adrien..” 

“Hey! I tried to catch you yesterday, but you’ve- uh- you’ve been busy.” Adrien chuckled, scratching the back of his head.

“Have I? I guess I have. There hasn’t really-”

“I wanted to apologize.” 

Marinette stalled. He wanted.. To apologize?

“I should have noticed earlier why you were so upset about Lila.” Adrien continued. “You were hurting over this and I didn’t notice.” he placed a hand on her shoulder with a soft smile. 

Marinette sucked in a breath. Was Adrien really agreeing to finally do something about Lila? 

“So, what are you saying?” She asked anyway, just to make sure.

“I’m saying,” Adrien sighed. “That I’m here for you. We’re in this together. I know it hurts to see Nino and the others get their hopes up like that, but when Lila finally sees what her lies are doing, everything will go back to normal. Until then, you can talk to me about anything when you need to.”

Marinette scoffed. He had single-handedly built up and shattered her hopes in a matter of seconds. 

“Wait, wait, wait.” she interrupted, taking a step back. “So we’re..not exposing Lila?”

“What? No, I thought we agreed not to?” he furrowed his eyebrows, clearly confused. 

Marinette didn’t know what to say. She had thought.. Well, it didn’t matter what she thought now. It was obvious her and Adrien weren’t going to see eye to eye.

“I’m gonna go home. I have homework. Thanks for the talk, though.” Marinette gave a tight smile. 

She could tell Adrien was hesitant to let her leave, but a honk from Gorilla persuaded him to let it go.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“See you.” 

~~~~~~

Adrien stared idly out the car window as they drove back to the estate. That conversation could have gone better, but at least Marinette knew he understood where she was coming from now, right?

From her reaction, he assumes she still wants to expose Lila. Adrien was sure she would come around though. Just like Lila needed to see that her lies were bad, Marinette needed to see that Lila could be good! It was only normal to get frustrated sometimes. And he knew Marinette well enough to know when she calmed down, she would see reason and agree with him. She might even apologize for her rash behavior.

As long as we stick together, what could go wrong?

Adrien smiled at the thought. He had a feeling everything was gonna be just fine.

~~~~~~

Marinette plopped into her rolling chair, spinning into the middle of the room.

“I can’t believe him!” she growled, resisting the urge to pull her hair out.

“At least he apologized?” Tikki pointed out, trying to find the bright side.

“Yes, Tikki. He apologized…. Then he turned around and threw that right in my face!”

Did he even care? Did he even mean the words he said? Or was he just trying to keep her quiet as always?

Tikki went silent, obviously trying to find another good thing about the situation. The fact that she couldn’t only made Marinette angrier.

She was about to go into another rant when a light knock on the trap door interrupted her.

“Marinette? Are you up there?” 

Marinette blinked. “Aurore?” 

She quickly got up and opened the trap door.

“Hey!” Aurore beamed, stepping up into Marinette’s room.

“I thought you were at the weather station.”

“Oh, I was! But I found one of my go-to presentations in my dressing rooms. So I came to see you! I was thinking we could-” Aurore suddenly paused, her bright smile fading into a concerned expression.

“Are you alright?” She then asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. You seem upset. Did something happen?”

Seeing her genuine concern, Marinette considered telling her. 

It wouldn’t hurt right? I don’t have anyone else to talk to right now.. Marinette pondered, glancing back at one of Adrien’s photos she had on the wall. He didn’t appreciate her venting to the group last time.

“Is it Adrien?” Aurore frowned, noticing Marinette’s gaze.

Marinette pulled a sheepish smile in response. It didn’t count if Aurore was the one who brought it up, right? On that note, why should it matter what Adrien thinks? He hasn’t really cared for what she’s thought recently.

“Yeah.” she finally answered.

Aurore closed the trap door behind her and took Marinette’s hands into hers.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” 

The fact Aurore was even concerned for her well being at all made Marinette feel better. It showed at least someone cared.

“No.” Marinette smiled.

“No?” Aurore furrowed her eyebrows, confused.

“Nope. I don’t wanna talk about Adrien anymore right now.” Marinette decided. She didn’t want to dwell on all of these negative thoughts, lest she be akumatized. 

So what’s the next best thing? Hanging out with your friends of course.

Aurore blinked, taking in her response. “O-Oh. alright, yeah! What do you wanna do?” 

Aurore was hesitant at first, but once she accepted Marinette’s response, she was back to her bright, cheery self.

Marinette hummed in thought, looking up at her window.

It was in the afternoon, but there was still daylight out. They probably had a few hours until sunset.

Marinette smiled. “Do you think the others are free by now?” 

tag list: @unabashedbookworm @bluerosette23 @minightrose@kuroko26@im-here-for-the-content @angstyrastuff @clumsy-owl-4178 @fanboy7794@choaticneturcl @bigcheeseyboi @burntnugget-tae @ayuchan07@honorisfortheweak @knightrose15 @mjisntme@rhub4rb @simplythebestbug@wilhelmares@zebrabaker@dargeon-lissa @kristycocopop @alumneia @kaydenth3gayden @thornangelic727 @flirtshobi @whatamessofwords

[calpalirwin]

You’ll Always Have Me

Summary: Alyssa and Ashton have been best friends ever since Alyssa moved in across the street the summer before second grade. Together, they were tackling the stereotype that boys and girls can’t just be friends. That is, until they almost kissed right before their junior year of high school. Can their friendship survive the jealousy that stems from their newfound feelings? And what happens when they realize these “newfound feelings” really aren’t all that new?

A/N: Only a few more chapters left!

Recap: So, in yesterday’s chapter, we learned that Aly was in love with our boy Cal! Wanna see what Ash thinks of this? Keep reading to find out!

Chapter 13

~Ashton~

As I hung up, I flopped down onto my bed feeling a wave of deja vu wash over me. I wasn’t sure if I was more upset over the fact that I felt her slipping through my fingers all over again, or if that in ten years of friendship she had never once invited me to her grandparents for the summer. Either way, both realizations sucked, and they sucked hard.

Hoping for a distraction from a girl I knew loved me, I dialed Kayla.

“Hey, handsome,” her voice sounded over the line, picking up on the first ring.

I breathed deeply, admiring the sound of her voice. It was bubbly and sweet, much like her. “Hey, babe,” I responded.

“Ashton, what’s wrong? You sound upset.”

“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head. “Just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Aw, Ashton. You’re too sweet.”

“I’m really not.”

“Shush. You’re the sweetest boy in the whole world and I love you very much.”

“I love you too, Kay.”

“So, will you tell me what’s wrong?”

“It’s stupid,” I brushed off, both wanting to vent, but wary of how she would respond. I should’ve just called Luke

“Nothing you ever say will be stupid,” she coaxed.

“Aly just called saying she’s excited that Calum’s coming to see her at her grandparents. I mean, I get that like he’s her boyfriend and shit. But like… I’ve been her best friend for years and she’s never invited me over. Just feeling a little jealous, I guess,” I told her, bending the truth a smidge.

“Aw, I’m sorry baby. But, maybe Lyssa didn’t invite Calum. Maybe he invited himself.”

“Hmm, I didn’t think about it that way.” If Calum had invited himself rather than the other way around, maybe she wasn’t too far gone. But, a nagging thought said, she did say she was in love with him.

“I’m still sorry, though. Either way, that’s gotta suck. We can hang out tomorrow and I can help take your mind off it?” she suggested.

“Yeah, that’d be great.”

“Okay,” she yawned. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Love you, Ashton.”

“Love you, Kay.” I ended the call, then called Luke. 

“Talking with Lys that long, huh?” he joked once he answered.

“No… well, we did talk. But, I called Kay after.”

“Ouch, I’m heavily offended,” were the words, but the tone was flat.

“Shut up,” I rolled my eyes.

“So, how are you taking it?” he asked, switching to the reason he knew I called.

“Not good. I’m angry, and jealous, and…”

“Absolutely crushed?” he offered.

“Yeah,” I sighed, feeling a lump rise in my throat.

“I mean… she’s never invited Si either. And they’re about as close as you two are.”

“That’s only half of it. Kay said that it was possible Calum invited himself over, not Aly inviting him.”

“Oh… yeah, there’s a possibility. So, what’s the other half then?”

“It started with her saying she didn’t realize how much she missed him. Then, I asked if they’ve said that they’ve loved each other yet. She said no.”

“That’s good, though, isn’t it? Like, for you?”

“Until I stupidly followed it by asking if she does.”

“And?”

“She’s in love with him. Not just regular love. In love. In.”

I heard him suck air in through his teeth. “That fuckin blows, man.”

“How can I compete with that?”

“You don’t-”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“No, you idiot. I wasn’t done. You don’t have to compete with him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look, you didn’t hear it from me. And if you say I told you, I’ll deny it. And, I’m not sure how it changes things now that… well…”

“What are you talking about?”

“Aly’s in love with you. She told Si right after that almost kiss or whatever. Same night you told me.”

“And you’ve been sitting on this information for a year?!” I screeched. How could he keep this from me, especially after I told him I liked her?

“Okay, 1.) Si only told me after the talent show, so I’ve only been sitting on this for 4 months. 2.) You said you wanted to grow up first because that you didn’t wanna risk fucking up the friendship. 3.) You guys were and are still in different relationships. And 4.) you’re both in love with those different people now.”

“So, I had my chance and I blew it by being with Kayla.”

“You didn’t blow anything, dude. Or if you did, she blew it first by telling you no. You both did what anyone facing rejection would do, get with someone who didn’t reject you.”

“I didn’t reject her, though.”

“Look, the end of high school is a year away and most high school relationships will end with it. Just wait it out. You waited this long, what’s a little longer?”

“So, I just suffer through another year, praying her relationship crumbles and she comes crying to me?”

“Well, you don’t have to suffer. Live it up with Kayla. She’s a sweet girl, and you guys do love each other, right?”

“We do, and she is.”

“See? So just hang in there a bit longer. You going to the Navy instead of college after graduation will end your relationship with Kayla for you, so you don’t have to worry about that. And being at separate colleges will take care of Calum dating Lyssa.”

“And why in the hell would Aly get with me after ending things with Calum if they break up because of distance? Separate colleges is one thing, but I’ll literally be in different countries from time to time.”

“Because you and Aly have already proven you guys can love each other without being with each other. And no one said to get with her right after the break up. You gotta give yourselves time to get over Calum and Kayla.”

I rolled my eyes. He made it sound so easy. “If you say so.”

“I know so, bro. Just hang in there, and enjoy the ride.”

After we hung up, I laid there for a long while, just staring up at the ceiling. So my feelings for Aly were reciprocated and we had just been too young and dumb to do anything about it. And by doing so, we had fallen in love with other people. But that didn’t mean that we had missed our chance. It just meant our timing was off. And the next time the time was right, I wouldn’t back down. I wouldn’t run scared like I did last year. The next time I had my chance, I was gonna take it.

I took Luke’s advice and bided my time. Through every class, lunch break, band practice, soccer game, and everything in between, I waited. Through every kiss they shared and rant she spewed to me about him, I watched, listened, and clung a little tighter to Kayla to drown out my feelings.

The only time I could breathe without feeling like there was a weight on my chest was when I thought about my plans for after graduation. I had been set on joining the Navy after graduation since I was a kid and that never changed as I grew older. The rest were going off to various colleges for various reasons: Aly to study music, Calum off to play soccer with a hope of going pro, Kayla, Luke, and Sierra off to become regular hard working professionals. It was the only time when conversations got individualistic, which gave me hope that I stood a chance. 

When Prom rolled around, I put on my best face and tried not to look too much at Aly and Calum. “Go dance with her,” Kayla whispered to me after she caught me looking at them again.

I shook my head as I processed her words. “What? No. Baby, I’m here with you. I want to dance with you.”

She gently cupped my face in her hands. “I know you, Ashton. You might not think I do, but I do. Go dance with her. You know you’ll regret it if you don’t.”

I kissed her softly. God, this girl was so great and deserved so much better than a guy like me who was only half in it most of the time. She was an idiot for loving me, and I was an asshole for not letting her go. “Thank you,” I said before crossing the dance floor to Aly. I tapped her shoulder, clearing my throat.

“Ash!” she laughed, throwing her arms around me. “Isn’t this night great?!”

I smiled at her. She was loud and unafraid to live each moment as she felt it. And as much as I truly did love the softer spoken girl on the other side of the room, I was and would always be absolutely in love with a girl who hugged me too tight. “It’s definitely one worth remembering,” I answered, still smiling.

“So, what’s up?” she asked, releasing me with a frown. “Why aren’t you dancing with Kayla?”

“I… uh… I wanted to dance with you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Just one, y’know. You are my best friend after all, and it’d be a waste if we didn’t share at least one dance,” I justified.

“Okay,” she nodded before reaching up to whisper something to Calum.

He raised his eyebrows at whatever she told him. When he looked over at me, I was expecting a glare, but instead he offered a smile and a quick “She won’t admit it, but she’s been waiting for you to ask all night,” as he clapped my shoulder and stepped aside. 

When she reached for my hand, I took it and pulled her close, noticing how delicate this loudmouth girl I’d known for practically my whole life actually was. I started to sway her back and forth as the music changed. When the first few notes rang out, she tilted her head back and giggled, “It’s our song!”

I listened a little harder and chuckled with her as the song began to sing the words I had sung with her last year at the talent show. “So, it is.”

“Now, this night is perfect,” she said, her voice soft as she gently laid her head against my shoulder.

“I thought it was already perfect.”

She shook her head, then peered up at me, her hair hiding her face from mine. I unconsciously brushed her hair back out of her face, and noticed her blush as I did so. “I said it was great. Dancing with you makes it perfect. No offense to Cal. I mean, he’s great and I love him. But I always wanted to dance with you at Prom. Like it’d still be a great night and all, but it wouldn’t be complete without dancing with my best friend. Y’know?”

I smiled at her words as I kissed the top of her head, the closest to kissing her that I could get without crossing any major lines. Her words were as close to a confession as I was likely to get for the time being, and just the type of assurance I secretly needed to keep waiting. Then again, I’d probably wait forever for this girl if I had to. “I know just what you mean,” I told her as I continued to hold her close to me. This was a moment I knew I’d never forget as long as I lived.

A month later, a week after graduation, I was packing up a few of my things at my mom’s before heading off to summer training with the Navy. “Ashton?” a soft voice called from the doorway, combined with an equally soft knock on the open door.

“Hey, Kay,” I said, dusting my hands off on my shorts. “Give me like one minute to clean up a bit?” I wanted to enjoy one last dinner with her before I left, but I didn’t want to be covered in dust and sweat.

“Um, actually, can we talk?” she asked, moving to sit on the edge of my bed, fiddling with her fingers, not making eye contact with me.

“Yeah, sure,” I said, sitting in my desk chair and scooting over to her. “What’s up?”

She looked up at me for a brief second before dropping her gaze. “Um… I… we…”

With one hand I grabbed both of hers to still them, and with my other, I cupped her chin, gently raising her head to look at me. “Kay, what’s wrong, baby? Tell me,” I coaxed.

“I think we should break up.”

“Oh…”

“It’s nothing you did. You’ve been great. It’s just…”

“It’s just I’m leaving and you need someone who’s gonna be around. I get it,” I said. I mean, I did love Kayla, but this was also a moment I knew was coming, even before Luke pointed it out to me last summer. As sweet as a girl as she was and as much as I enjoyed my time with her, we weren’t meant for beyond high school, and I think we both knew that.

“Well, yeah… and… did you ever really love me?” Tears were now in her eyes as she asked the question she’d no doubt been dreading asking for the entirety of our year and a half long relationship.

“What? Of course, I love you.” I moved my thumb across her cheek to catch the stray tears as they fell.

“Ashton... I think you know what I mean. You love her, don’t you?”

I sighed. Then, I nodded. “Yeah,” I eventually croaked out. “I think I always have.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“But, I love you, too. I haven’t been pretending to be with you. I’ve really liked being your boyfriend.”

She turned her hands in mine, so she was holding mine between both of hers. “I know, Ashton. And I’m not angry. High school’s really hard if you don’t have somebody, y’know?”

I nodded. “I’m so sorry, Kay. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like a second choice or that I was leading you on. But, please know that every feeling I’ve felt towards you has been real. This was real, I promise.”

“I know it was, Ashton. You were a really good boyfriend. Good luck, with everything.” She reached forward to kiss my cheek. “Lyssa’s a lucky girl.” She wiped her eyes before standing up.

I held on gently as she pulled out of my grasp. “I’m so sorry. You deserved so much better than someone who was half in it,” I told her as I let my hand drop, feeling a wetness on my own cheeks. I was the world’s biggest asshole for breaking the heart of the world’s sweetest girl.

“Oh, Ashton. If this last year and a half was you being half in, you’re still the best boyfriend by miles.”

I sat there after she left with my head in my hands. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I wasn’t expecting it to hurt this bad.

“Whoa, it’s actually clean in here,” the always louder-than-necessary laugh sounded, dragging me out of my thoughts.

“Hey, Aly,” I smiled a watery smile, already feeling better about my break up with Kayla.

“What happened?” she asked, noticing my puffy eyes and red nose. She took a seat on the edge of my bed, the blanket still slightly wrinkled from when Kayla had sat there.

I sniffed and wiped at my face. “Kay and I just broke up.”

Her face softened and she reached out to grab my hands. “Oh, Ash. I’m sorry. I know you loved her.”

I shrugged. “It’s fine. I’m leaving tomorrow and she needs someone who’s not gonna be all over the map,” I admitted half of the truth.

“I mean, yeah, the distance isn’t exactly ideal. But, she didn't even want to try? That’s fuckin blows.”

“It’s fine, Aly. Honestly, it was probably a long time coming. Every time we talked about plans beyond high school, she got this look when I’d bring up the Navy.”

“A heartbreak is still a heartbreak, Ash. Wanna go downtown and grab a bite?”

“Sure,” I said, perking up a little. Of all the people to share one of my last meals in town with, Aly would always be my top choice.

As I sat across the table from Aly, I couldn’t help but notice all the differences between her and Kayla and realized that Kayla was the soft rain and Aly was the thunderstorm. And while I was a sucker for the sound of soft rain, I would choose the storm every time.

“You sure look happy for someone who just got dumped,” Aly commented.

“No place else I’d rather be and no one else I’d rather be with,” I told her truthfully.

She snorted into her shake, causing bubbles to form in the chocolate goo. “I’m really gonna miss you, you know that?”

“You’ll be fine. You’re sharing a dorm with Si, and you got Calum.”

She shrugged. “It’s no Ashton Irwin across the street, though.”

It was my turn to snort into my drink, the carbonation from the soda tickling my nose. “Aly, I’m a loser, let’s face it. The only way I can do something worthwhile with my life is to ship myself across the world, and my own girlfriend couldn’t get rid of me quick enough. I'm a nobody.” It was half a joke and half the truth. The reality was that I only wanted to be somebody if that somebody was Alyssa Clifford’s future.

She rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath something I don’t think I was meant to hear but heard anyway. “Oh, Ash… don’t you see that you’re everything?”

[thatfairyfangirl]

True Colors Chapter 12

“Young lady you came all this way to see your family! Sit down for dinner. Those hooligans you call friends can wait.” Your mother scolded you as you and Bucky were halfway out the door for the night. Your eyes closed as you turned, you were so close...

“Mom, I was kinda planning on taking Bucky for his first authentic cheesesteak...I’ll have dinner with you guys tomorrow, I promise.” You protested as you slowly walked back inside, knowing resistance was futile.

“There’s always tomorrow, it’s alright Doll.” Bucky offered in an attempt to smooth things over as fast as possible, planting a soft kiss on your cheek for appearances that made your heart flutter just a bit. As you watched him take a seat at the table you realized that the feel of his lips against your flesh actually got a reaction out of you...what the hell is wrong with you?!

~ ~ ~ ~

“So (Y/N), how did you two even meet?” Your Nana asked, never taking her eyes off of Bucky as the two of you set the table for dinner.

“Well that’s actually the other part of the surprise.” You drew in a nervous breath as you pushed your rainbow hair back. Your mom and Nana exchanged frightened looks, wondering what new ways their little girl would find to let them down now. “I’m not just a musician anymore…”

“Oh good lord you finally started dancing at that God-awful club haven’t you?” Your mom cried out as she threw her face into her hands. “I knew it! The second I saw you on the news I knew your days of finding a decent job were over!”

“No mom.” You grumbled. “I don’t even DJ there anymore. I’m...I’m an Avenger now.” You straightened your back attempting to look as heroic as possible. The two burst into laughter at the idea.

“Oh Darling why must you always feel the need to lie to us?” Nana asked as she sat herself down. “Your little color...thing is a nice trick and all but hardly what heros are made of. Now Captain America, now there’s a hero-” and off Nana went yet again droning on and on about how much she loved him back during the war.

“No, really...What do you think they taught us at mutant school?”

“...not as if Captain America ever needed help from the Germans to be great like some people.” Nana continued her rant to herself, catching Bucky’s attention.

“Actually, ma’am,” His brow creased as the plates of his arm tensed up. “Captain Rogers’ serum was developed by Abraham Erskine, a German, and first used on Johann Schmidt. A man you might know better as the Red Skull. A man I had the honor of fighting against alongside Captain Rogers.” His eyes were like ice as he looked from one horrible woman to the other.

Nana dismissed what Sergeant Barnes had to say as she set a roast beef on the table...not exactly traditional Christmas but she’d be darned if she was going to make that twice! “(Y/N), why don’t you do your color thing to cover up Bucky’s arm for dinner so we don’t upset your Nana?” Your mom suggested lightly.

“Umm, no.” Each woman looked up to you as if you had just blasphemed, eyes wide with shock and anger. One would think this was the first time you flat out told them no. “I have been working very close with Bucky about getting over insecurities about that arm…You both are being just as ignorant and small minded with Bucky as you have been with me ever since I got my powers.” You pushed a fist into the table as the wood swirled with an angry red. “It’s fine for me. I’ve dealt with the both of you delivering me backhanded and mean comments all my life. So we’re different. So what? I’m still your daughter.” You could feel angry tears swelling up inside you, very certain you were about to burn two bridges. As you spoke a cool metal hand came to rest on your shoulder offering you comfort as his eyes looked on you as if he was truly seeing who you were for the first time. Your heart fluttered as you thought back over the past few months, about how the relationship between the two of you has gone from loathing to whatever was going on here. “And if you ever loved me, even a little, then you would at least give him a chance. Cuz the thing is,” you paused looking to him, “he makes me happy and he treats me right. And that’s all that you really should care about. That’s all Dad would have cared about. But you’re both so shallow and calloused and angry at life that you-” You pushed yourself from the table as something in you found the breaking point with these two, staring daggers into the two bitter old women. “If you can’t see that this is my life and my choices then you better start keeping an eye on the news, because it’s the only place you’ll be seeing me.” And with that you pushed yourself up, storming up the stairs to your room.

Bucky looked between the two with a look that struck fear into their hearts, a look worse than that of the Winter Soldier. Suddenly he realized why she was so upset things with Eric never worked out, and where that initial anger he once saw in her came from. He began to wonder if anyone had ever shown her real love before. “You two should be ashamed of yourselves.” As he circled the table they made sure to stay opposite him, as if a table ever stopped him before. “(Y/N) is beautiful just the way she is, and so strong! Your daughter is the new face of the mutant rights act…Quite literally THE reason Captain America is currently free to be a hero… I may not know either of you very well but I can obviously see that she didn’t get any of her amazing traits from you. All (Y/N) has ever wanted from either of you is for you to be proud of her and accept her for who she is...Though, after meeting you I don’t think I’ll ever understand why, or how something so bright and beautiful came from the two of you. But the world is better for having her.”

The two old bitter women just stood there as the assassin pushed past them, leaving them to wonder if they had lost their daughter forever as he rushed up to your room to make sure you were alright.

He opened the door to find you sitting on the bed wiping tears from your face as you clung to what used to be your favorite stuffed bear, hearing wonderful things that Bucky had said through the vent leading to the kitchen. “Hey no...none of that.” Bucky’s face softened at the sight of your tears with long rushed steps to come sit by your side. As he lowered onto the bed you flung your arms around him, loving him for always coming to your rescue. He whispered softly shhs into your ear as his strong hand stroked up and down your back.

“If I ever end up as bitter and heartless as either of them please just shoot me.” You half joked after some time of the feel of his arms around you comforting you.

“I promise.” You gave a half laugh at the response as you sat up, wiping the last of the tears away.

“Wow Buck. Didn't think you have it in you to shoot me.” You teased with a growing smile.

He shrugged. “Maybe when we first met... but I know you better than that. And I'm sure it'll never come to that.” You tried hard to ignore the pitter patter of your heart fluttering as he planted a comforting kiss to your temple.

~ ~ ~ ~

“Did you mean that Doll?” Bucky asked as he watched the sun set over the city skyline. “What you said to your mom I mean.”

You nodded a bit as you thought about the argument, though your mind seemed to want to settle on the time you both spent on the couch watching the claymation classics together and how warm he was. “Yeah...I really couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend….umm friend pretending to be my boyfriend.” Your eyes darted from the road to him, catching a glimpse of the smile dancing across his lips. “What about you? Did you mean what you said?”

“Yeah.” He answered smoothly as his smile grew, finding you even more gorgeous under the growing nightlights of the city. He reached his hand to yours, brushing his calloused thumb over your knuckles before drawing them to his lips. “Every word.” You pulled your hand away as you felt your heart skip several beats at the feel of his lips. It was bad enough he said such nice things, but to know he actually meant them…

“My friends know that we’re not really dating, that it’s all for mom and nana, so at least we don’t have to worry about keeping up appearances.” You told him as you straightened your back, trying to take back control of your head and your heart. “But the real question is can you sing?” Bucky’s brow raised at the question as you pulled up to the curb by a small building surrounded by metal picnic style tables topped with a giant glowing sign. You shot him a smirk as you got out, prompting him to quickly follow.

A small group at one of the tables rose as they spotted your keleidoscopic hair dancing in the wind as they shouted your name. With a beaming smile you greeted them by waving both your hands in the air before absentmindedly grasping Bucky’s hand, pulling him to the order window. “Yeah, two wit whiz and two cokes.” The words slid off your tongue as you fell into the old ordering habit like you were only there yesterday, free hand sliding into your pocket to pull out the money not needing to wait for a total to be given.

“Were those even words?” He asked with a chuckle as his fingers wrapped just a bit tighter around yours, finding just how comfortable they were there. “What did you even order me?” Bucky looked down to the sandwich dripping with cheese, feeling his stomach churning a bit as you both sat down with your small circle of friends. “What is this?”

“Just eat it.” You laughed as you picked up yours, reveling in the familiar taste of home. “Mmmm Pat’s I miss you more every time I leave.” You said to the sandwich before watching Bucky take his first bite of the authentic Philly classic.

“So this is the guy you’re not dating?” One of the girls asked, putting air-quotes around ‘not dating’ as she raised a suspicious brow.

“Oh! Right! Everyone, this is Bucky. Bucky this is Mary, Natalie, Cyndi, and Grace.” As you spoke the names you pointed to each of your friends, Mary being the suspicious one. “Honestly Tony was supposed to be playing the part but work happened at the last possible second so…”

The girls shared knowing glances with each other, dissecting the way you and Bucky looked at each other, finding every one of your tells as you tried your best to suppress that spark of feeling hiding deep within. “So why do you need to know if I sing?” Bucky asked as he looked over the girls, feeling much more like he was being studied then acquainted with.

After dinner the group moved from the table to a nearby bar offering karaoke and suddenly the question finally made sense. “So how long have you two been a thing?” Mary whispered with a devious smirk as you watched Bucky wander from the table to get everyone their drinks, your eyes lingering just a little too long.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You insisted as you flipped through the karaoke music selection.

“Oh please! I’ve been your best friend since we were two! The last time you looked at a guy like that was,” she paused for a moment to think of his name, “Ryan Weiss!” Your back stiffened as the name brought back memories of your middle school crush.

“You love him!” Natalie insisted as the rest of the girls nodded in agreement.

“I really don’t. He’s just a teammate.” You insisted as you watched him attempt to get the bartender's attention amid all the blue and yellow of the university students flooding the place. “And a really good friend.” The corners of your lips curled up against your will as he turned triumphant, glasses and bottles in hand. The girls shared glances, amazed that their friend could be this oblivious to what she’s feeling.

“Oh! But you really do!”

“Really do what?” Bucky asked with the absent minded grin she seemed to be giving him more and more.

“Lo-oww!” Your face pursed as you kicked Cyndi into silent submission.

“LIKE the idea of singing one of the songs from the album...A few of them are on the list already. I mean, at that point it’s not even kareoke anymore right?”

“Well, you’re always one for publicity. I’ll record it for you to put on that me tube thing” He offered as he set the drinks down.

“It’s called youtube.” You corrected as he leaned over you, his long hair brushing against your cheek as he looked over the list of songs, your scent intoxicating to him. Stubble brushed against your cheek as he shook his head, disappointed that the one he really liked wasn’t on there.

“Aww that’s a shame. They don’t have my favorite. Do you have your flashdrive on you? I could really go for hearing that slow one you do.. umm… “ He paused as he searched his mind for the hauntingly beautiful voice he heard while he was in the shower last night, digging for the words. “I understand you, we see eye to eye double rainbow...Something like that?”

The girls giggled as they watched your back stiffen and your muscles tense once more. Your eyes took on a deer in the headlights level of panic as you looked up to him. “That song wasn’t on the album. How do you know about that?”

“Umm…” He didn’t realize he wasn’t supposed to know about that! “We live across the hall from each other and you still don’t seem to understand how headphones work.” Well that was the best excuse he could come up with anyway. His bionic arm gave you a playful shove as your friends noted the nervous look in his eyes. “And I may have heard you singing it while I was in the shower last night?” The giggles continued as they spotted the hint of pink growing in your cheeks and hair.

“Oooh special song! Please (Y/N)?!” The girls began chanting ‘do it’ drawing attention from everyone around them as people finally began to realize who you were.

“Ok! Ok!” You laughed before chugging the drink Bucky had brought you. “Just...Stop!” You sauntered to the karaoke dj and pulled out your flashdrive, explaining the situation to him, quietly begging him to say no so you could go on with your night...Too bad he was a fan and now wanted to hear it just as much as everyone else.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibl7owfLpjg Your powers were in full swing as you sang, creating a subtle yet spectacular lightshow of rainbows as the colors in your hair took on more pink hues, giving away your feelings to those who knew you well enough to notice the mood-ring-esc properties of your body. It wasn’t something Bucky had picked up on yet, but the girls certainly knew what it meant.

As you stepped down from the stage Bucky left your phone with the recorded video on the table for you to do with as you liked before wandering off once more to get you a new drink and maybe empty the tank while he’s up.

“You even wrote a song for him! That’s so cute! You are so in love!” Mary prodded at you as you sat back down.

“No! I’m not!” You searched for a drink avoiding eye contact as you gnawed at your lower lip, the redness in your cheeks growing with each second. “That wasn’t about him.”

“(Y/N) and Bucky sitting in a tree, K-I-S-”

Seeing Bucky reemerge from the crowd you jumped up, rushing the DJ booth once more. “I’ll give you $20 if you let me pick a song and sing it right now!” He was more than happy to let you sing whatever you wanted whenever you wanted to. This one looked like it would get the point across.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yl6Yyl7iZhs

As you sang you realized the mistake you made. Of all the times to slip musically this was the worst! Bucky’s crystal blue eyes sparkled as he watched you belt out the tune he recognized from that disney movie. “What going on?” He asked the girls as he sat back down, a little concerned for his rainbow’s sanity at this point. “I thought she didn’t want to sing anymore?”

“She’s failing at making a point of how-” she threw up the air quotes “not in love with you she is.”

“Oh ok.” Bucky’s eyes went wide choking on his drink as the words settled into him. “Wait what?! She…!”

“Oh my god you’re just as bad as her!”

You shot the girls a stare scarier than Bucky could have mustered even in his winter soldier days as you sat back at the table, the rest of the bar applauding your talent. “I hate all of you!” Bucky’s eyes were fixated on yours, his jaw hanging open in wonder. You raised a brow giving him a double take, confused about everything written on his face right now. “What? You’re acting like you’ve never heard me sing before…”

“Your turn! Your turn!” The girls scrambled to shake him by the shoulder, pushing him toward the small stage. His eyes darted around the room, overwhelmed by everything he had taken in tonight before rushing for the door. Maybe some fresh air would bring his heart rate back down to normal.

[writing-soldiers]

‘’Don’t get any wild ideas.’’ Ch. 3

A/N: So the scene with the quote is one of the first I wrote for this series and I’ve been very excited for it. I stumbled a bit with the first part though. I really hope you like this chapter and don’t be afraid to give me some feedback! Please note that english is not my first language so there might be grammar mistakes.

Pairings: Bucky X Reader Prompt: Bartender Au / You’re not sure what started it but one thing is for sure, Bucky Barnes is a person you can’t stand and he’s not particularly happy with you either. What do you do when your feelings towards your annoying coworker during the preparation for your best friends’ wedding suddenly shift to a different direction, leaving you terrified. Warnings: Mention of alcohol Word count: 1914

Part 1 / Part 2

‘’Are you sure these are the flowers that they had picked out?’’ Bucky sat cross-legged by the small coffee table, absentmindedly glancing though a stack of birthday cards. ‘’I didn’t take Nat for a yellow lilies at her wedding kind of girl.’’ He added monotonously, his attention somewhere far away from the small flower shop you were situated in. You drew a deep breath trying to calm yourself in this situation. 

Quickly after you’d come down to the living room and had some breakfast this morning, Clint had begged you to go pick up some things for the wedding that their cousin had been in charge of arranging but her flight had been delayed. Of course, Clint had to be his charming self and volunteer Bucky to go and help you, much to his protests. He hadn’t been much help at all that day, just moping around you and dropping annoying comments at every stop. “Maybe you could help me out a little, not just sit there and criticize everything I do.” You rolled your eyes, sighing as you struggled to hold up the large bouquet in your hands. Your eyes were practically boring into the back of his neck as you hoped for him to stand up and give you a helping hand. With a grunt, he threw the cards back on the table and reluctantly stood up. ‘’Feeling a little tense this morning, are we?’’ He teased you with that annoying smirk of his. ‘’What gave away my annoyance? The irritable glaring or the scowl?’’ You spat out, handing him the bouquet and turned back to the table to grab another one. ‘’Just help me get these flowers into the car and I won’t have to deal with your annoying ass much longer.’’ You followed him close on his heels as you headed for the door. He abruptly stopped in his tracks, almost causing you to crash right into him and he was just lucky you had your hands full or you would have smacked him right in the face. His face was dead-serious, ‘’Do you maybe..’’ You were curious regarding his hesitation and the shyness of his words. ‘’Do you maybe need another cuddle session to relive some built up frustration? It’s probably been a long time since you got some action and if you want I can probably hook you up with someone from around here.’’ His serious facial expression was quickly lost as he broke into laughter, a teasing smile plastered onto his lips. You’d be lying if you said the words didn’t sting more than they should but you kept a straight face, masking your hurt with irritation. You dramatically rolled your eyes, showing past him and headed for the door, trying your best to hold back the tears that threaten their way to the corners of your eyes. Yes, it had been a long time since you were really intimate with someone, as in lingering touches and all that. Your last relationship, if you could call it that, took a toll on you and you’d been struggling with opening up to anyone after that. All physical intimacy had been thrown of the table and the slightest little touches had made you cringe for the last year, until you had woken up this morning in his arms. You finished the missions for the day, picking up flowers and cakes for tomorrow evening with ease. A part from the constant annoyance, that was Bucky Barnes. You decided to pick up some food on the way back, knowing that none of you were in the mood for cooking before your night out. Bucky waited in the car while you ran into the Chinese take-away to pick up your order. 

Bucky was casually scrolling through his phone when he noticed movement just outside the car, thinking you were finally coming back with the food. When he glanced up, he noticed you chatting with a dark-haired man in front with take-away in your arms. He knew that man instantly, his old classmate Tony, someone he loathed even more than you. He tried not to hold grudges but Tony had made his years in high school misery, bullying him relentlessly and Bucky couldn’t wait to show him how far in life he’d made it from then. He had an uneasy feeling in his stomach as he watched you chat with him, not wanting to interrupt in fear of you putting him down in front of Tony. You had a way of doing that and he wasn’t up for it at the moment. Finally, he watched you bid your goodbyes and return to the car with a smile on your face. You apologised for taking longer than expected, handing Bucky the bag of food. ‘’What were you talking to Tony about any way?’’ Bucky inquired, his eyes nervously darting towards Tony as he got into his car. ‘’Oh, you know him? He just accidentally grabbed the wrong bag and we started chatting.’’ You explained, oblivious to Bucky’s tense reaction as you started the car. ‘’You know, if you’re interested then I could always write you an marvellous cuddling recommendation.’’ Bucky offered, ‘’I’m excellent at twisting the truth.’’ You drew a deep breath, trying to restrain from hitting him. He just couldn’t let it go by now, his comments of this mornings incident were really starting to bother you. ‘’If you want, I could also give you a crash course in cuddling during this weekend. You really seem to need the practise.’’ ‘’Just so you know, if you weren’t so arrogant there might be the slightest possibility that I, or others might stand being around you.’’ You snapped, hitting the breaks on your car and giving him a stern look. You wanted to wipe that conceited teasing little smirk of his right of his face. ‘’I know.’’ Your head was about to boil at the sight of his infamous  lopsided smirk, his tongue slightly poking out his cheek as he made a futile attempt to contain his amusement. You switched gears, not giving further attention to him as you drove in silence back to their house. 

‘’Are you all right?’’ Nat question as you stormed into the living room, with Bucky contently following close behind you. Her eyes darted between the fuming look on you and the annoyingly conceited look on Bucky’s face, as you headed for the kitchen.

‘’I am in a desperate need for a drink right now, and please tell me that Clint is taking Bucky out for drinks as soon as possible so we can finally start out girls night out.’’ Thankfully Nat was used to your word tumble of rants, so she was able to catch some of what you were saying as she followed you to the kitchen, leaving the boys in the living room. You took a gulp from the cold beverage you fished out of the refrigerator before looking her dead in the eyes and pointing to the living room, ‘’I can’t stand another minute with that annoying little -Ugh!’’. ‘’I’m sorry.’’ Nat apologised, giving you a sympathetic look. You sighed in defeat, realising that you were making your best friend feel guilty, ‘’No, I’m sorry.’’ Your voice was now calmer and you took another relaxing sip. ‘’Let’s not think about it for now, I’m just excited for our night out.’’ You gave her a reassuring smile, letting her know that you’d only needed that little moment of venting before moving on. She smiled in return, motioning you to follow her upstairs so you could help her pick an outfit for the night. 

‘’Hold on, I’m just going to grab another drink. Would you like something?’’ Clint offered over the booming music that filled the night club. Bucky raised his half full glass, pointing out that he was good for now. His eyes darted over the dimly lit dance floor as Clint paced over to the bar. An involuntary smile edged on his lips as his eyes landed on the beautiful figure in front of him, carelessly swaying their hips to the rhythm of the music with the most infectious smile. His attention was snatched and he couldn’t bare taking his eyes of the sight, he drawled out a sip of his drink while he observed the scene in front of him. His lips twitched at the restrain from smiling, feeling terrified of being caught if they’d ever lock eyes. He wasn’t sure what feeling was erupting in his stomach, it may have been arousal but it felt different, he tried blaming it on the alcohol. It terrified him but excited at the same time, he was completely and entirely captivated by this new feeling. ‘’Would you like a napkin to wipe that drool of your face?’’ A teasing voice broke Bucky’s trance and he snapped his head to be met with Clint’s amused look. Bucky cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably where he stood while his eyes darted between his brother and that mesmerising figure. ‘’What do you mean?’’ Bucky nervously fidgeted with the glass in his hands, trying to play coy about Clint’s remark. Clint raised his eyebrow, wondering wether he should torture his little brother any further or let him live, opting for the latter. ‘’I was just lost in thought, that’s all. Don’t get any wild ideas, old sport.’’ Bucky stated with a strained chuckle, trying to refrain his eyes from wandering back, without success.

Your favourite tune rang in your ears, a wide smile spread on your lips as you danced to the music. Your body was feeling hot but for a moment you didn’t have a care in the world, just letting the vibrant atmosphere drag you into the long night of cocktails and good music. Your eyes darted over the room, the strobe lights synchronising with your heartbeat as you continued dancing. Then, there he was. The person you least expected or hoped to be there, his piercing greyish eyes staring back at you. You noticed him shift on his feet, turning his gaze away from you with a look you could only interpret as disgust, replacing the euphoric feeling in your body to an utter disappointment. ‘’Hey, are you all right?’’ Nat’s detective instincts caught the change in your demeanour immediately and her eyes followed your line of vision. A small smile crept on her lips at the sight of her fiancé, of course they’d be here, it was a small town. You quickly put up a fake smile and made a futile attempt to assure her that there was nothing bothering you, trying to cover it up by telling her you were just momentarily distracted. She was hesitant to argue with you, knowing that you’d never give up so easily in fear of it affecting her night. That was one of the qualities she loved about you. ‘’Would you like to go an meet up with Clint?’’ You questioned her, giving her a teasing look for the lovestruck smile on her face. She pulled back at you and feigned shock, ‘’Absolutely not!’’ She protested, ‘’This is our girls night out, I have all my life to spend with him.’’ She beamed at you, before taking a second to blow Clint a kiss. He simply winked back, knowing her well enough to know that meant she had other business to attend to that night and he’d respect her to let her have the night out.

Thoughts? 

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[tenshiii27]

Take A Step (You can’t take back) Oikawa Tooru X Reader

You were walking by the sidewalk, clutching your bag as though your life depended on it. But the truth is, you are grabbing it so hard because it is the only way you can focus on striding among the crowd without breaking down. You were barely holding it together. You want to cry and lie down while shouting profanities because God, you just got you heart broken by the man you love. "Curse them both," you whisper. It started raining, much to your dismay. Looks like you the sky is doing the crying for you. Suddenly, the cold doesn't even bother you. Truth is, it even comforts your numb being. - - - - - Oikawa Tooru is a charming guy. He smiles and everybody drops on their knees and worship him. He can throw and insult and would still sound like a compliment. But despite his smiles and good guy act, you were the first to notice that he is a very lonely guy. He was reading by the library, some girls from the other tables openly gawk at her. Honestly, you don't even know why you're taking notice of him. Sure, your twin sister has a huge crush on him and much to her dismay, it was you who was put in the same class as him. And as much as you want to get back at your sister for stealing your long-time crush back in middle school, you decided against it. You won't be like her. You look away from him. You hear some girls bidding him goodbye while leaving the lib. He smiles and waves back at them with a wink. A few minutes later, you find yourself walking up to him. "Isn't it hard?" you say. He flash that million-dollar worth smile and ask, "What is?" "Pretending to be happy and nice all the time." You retort. You notice a slight twitch in his left eyebrow but he retains the smile. "I don't know what you're talking about, (Name)-chan. We've been in the same class since last year and now that you decide to speak to me this is what you say?" "That's 'cause you never talk to me," you think, but hold back. Instead you continued to stare at the beautiful man before you. "Hmm? Do you need something from me, (Name)-chan? Perhaps a help with the lesson? Or are you finally gonna ask me out? Didn't know you like doing the first move, (Name)-chan." He teases you with a smile that will melt anyone's heart. "Ha-ha. Seriously, Oikawa-san, you can drop the act. I know you're wearing a mask. I understand. It's hard to show everyone the real you, the dark and ugly side--" "(Name)-chan." He interrupts. "I don't know what you're talking about." Oh. So he doesn't like showing people his true feelings. But he doesn't like it more when someone points it out to him. Alright. "Oh-kay. If you need someone to talk to, I might be here." "Might be? You're supposed to say you're always here." "Nah. What if I'm not? Then that would make me a liar" This talk is non-sense, you thought. But you find yourself smiling anyway. - - - - - It was exactly 2 weeks and 4 days after your first encounter when Oikawa suddenly barged in your peaceful space at the back of the old gym. It was lunch break and you are fond of going here because it's peaceful and it gives you space to think. "(Name)-chan." Oikawa approaches. "Hmm? Do you need something from me, Oikawa-san? Perhaps a help with the lesson? Or are you finally gonna ask me out? Didn't know you like doing the first move." Throwing his words back at him. You can't help but laugh a little. He smiles. But not the usual bright smile he shows his fan girls. It was a sad smile. You suddenly felt a heavy atmosphere. You turned serious. "Were you telling the truth when you said I can be myself around you?" "I said I might." Trying to lighten the mood a little. He smiles, still a sad one. "Having a rough day?" you asks. "Oh you have no idea." He says, sitting beside you. Too close for your taste but you kept silent. It was that moment when you both started talking more. Secretly though. He was a shining star and you're have a 'I don't give a f*ck" reputation to uphold. He will always find you in your secret haven whenever he needed a break from reality. You saw the real Oikawa. The sad, lonely and insecure boy that tried so hard to cover it. He would tell you stories about how strong their opponents are and how he likes volleyball so much. You liked listening to his stories. He would vent our frustrations and you would listen. But some days, it is your turn to tell him the sh*ts you're also facing. Like how you're twin sister annoys the hell out of you. She's always trying to compete with you. You always try to tell her that life is not a competition but she keeps on making it seem like one. Like the time you got higher scores on the tests, or the time when your parents praised you in front of their business partners. She got so mad, she threw your favorite books in the tub and drowned it in water. "That's what you get for being such an attention-seeking b*itch!!!!!" She yells. You just let her. You try so hard to understand that maybe she feels inferior because you effortlessly glides through life unscathed. She's like Oikawa, in a way. But unlike Oikawa, she tends to focus her energy into ruining your life instead of trying to better herself. You badly want to hit her sometimes, but you just keep quiet because meh, it's hard to deal with crazy people. You tell Oikawa these stories. He sometimes laugh. Oh, not sometimes. Always. He always seemed to take delight out of your frustrations. "You really like seeing me pissed, don't you Too-chin?" You ask. Anticipating the reprimand for calling him nicknames. It didn't come. Instead, he smiles. A rare kind of smile you only saw once or twice in the whole year you've been friend secretly with him. "You're too cute when your mad, (Name)." He dropped the honorifics a long time ago. He says it's high time you call each other by your first names. You didn't mind. You like it, even. - - - - - Weeks, months, years passed. It's your last year in highschool and you're losing your mind over what to do after graduation. You plan on going to a University and Oikawa expressed his interest in going with you. "How will you survive without me?" He says when you asked if he was sure in going with you. You laughed. No one still knows you're friends. You sometimes talk in class but people just see it as normal classmates talking to each other. He lays on your lap and closed his eyes. "It's going to be my last match this year. We're facing Karasuno, Tobio's team." He says. "You'll win." You say. He doesn't say anything but you know you've given him a boost on confidence. It's been a long time since he stopped ranting about his self-doubts and insecurities. It's just that there are some things that triggers it. Like Tobio or Ushiwaka. He said they make him feel inferior. That no matter how hard he trains, because they have talent, he will always fall short. You hated it when he doubts himself. He is awesome and talented and it's a shame he can't see that. - - - - - "(Name)-chan. Let's go watch the volleyball game tomorrow!" You're surprised that you twin asked you to join her. "Why? You can go with your friends." You say even though you really are planning to go. You wouldn't miss Oikawa's final match even if the world ends. "C'mooooon nee-chan!!! Aren't you classmates with Oikawa? I always had a crush on him. Maybe you can introduce me to him now that the season is ending." She says with a little begging. Even though you hate her sometimes, you can't deny that she is still your half and you can't say no. - - - - - They lost. It was a good game, a close match up to the end. But they lost by merely 2 points. It was devastating for them. You can see the players in the court trying to hold back tears. Oikawa is stunned, by the look he is sporting you instantly know the blow he felt when he couldn't return the last shot. It was as if whatever he felt, you felt it too. You can see how he tries so hard to get through the handshakes and bowing down to the other team. You wanna hug him and comfort him and tell him that he is still the best for you. After the match, you decided to find him but your sister is still with you and she is starting to annoy you to go to Oikawa's team and introduce her to him. She don't get it at all. They just lost and her main concern is to be noticed by Oikawa? She'd always been selfish, you thought. But there's nothing more important than finding Tooru so you ignore her annoying voice. You both go to the lockers where you see the team members slowly leaves one by one until Iwaizumi approaches you and tells you that you need to talk to 'him' as if Iwaizumi knew that you were Oikawa's confidante whenever he's upset. You simply nod despite the confused look on your sister's face. "Why does Oikawa-san needs you to talk to him?" Your sister asks but you still ignored her. You enter the room and see Oikawa sitting by the benches. Sadness evident in his eyes. You want nothing more than to run to him and offer a hug but because your sister is with you, you settled for walking towards Oikawa slowly. He raises his head and sees you. He also notices your twin behind you but he pays no attention to her. "(Name)." He utters. You hear a gasp behind you. Maybe she was shocked as to the lack of honorifics in Oikawa's words. Oikawa approaches you and hugs you. You were frozen in place. You did not expect him to show weakness, especially that there is another person in the room besides the two of you. Maybe he didn't care. Your heart sank at the thought that that is how sad he is, he doesn't even care if people see you together. "Nee-san!" Your sister uttered with hardness. When you didn't move she repeated it with more force than the former. Oikawa finally takes notice of the other person in the room. He breaks from the hug and composed himself. He smiles to the both of you, the charming one. You didn't like it. "My my, you really do look alike. Don't you?" He says. Oikawa knows that your sister liked him. But your sister isn't buying any sh*t right now. She just witnessed her crush and you hug and address each other on a first-name basis. Nothing would shift her attention from that. She sharply looks at you and then Oikawa and then back at you again. Your heart pounded. But you refused to back down because once in your life, you wanted to fight for this. Even though you and Oikawa never established the line between. You're friends. But you also know that there's a more palpable connection that you're both trying to ignore. From your point-of-view, you can almost see the veins in your sister's head. It might burst, you thought. You laughed inwardly. This isn't the time for that. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, (NAME)-CHAN!!! OIKAWA AND YOU??? YOU KNEW EACH OTHER? YOU:RE CLOSE? WHAT? WHAT!! WAIT, THIS ISN'T--" Your sister continues to ramble and shout, you wondered if what she's gonna do this time. Maybe throw everything you own into the pool. You didn't care. She grabs your arm and tries to pull you out of the room. Her grip is too tight you wonder if her nails are going to leave scratches on your arm. Oikawa stopped her but she is on the verge of hysterics. You look at him and mentally converse "Later. Please." You've been close for so long for him to be able to know what that look meant. You let your sister drag you out of the room and shouts at you but you already tuned her out. She was yelling words in the line of bitch, revenge or steal. You cannot even comprehend her sentences anymore, you're too busy thinking about Oikawa's loss. You tell your sister she can attack you later and you left her in the corridor. You go back to the lockers. Where Oikawa is. "She's mad." He says. "Oh I didn't notice. Was she? I thought she was just having a--" You were cut off by Oikawa. He gently grabbed your arm and inspected the marks your sister left. Her grip was indeed too tight. "Well, I can't really blame her. She always had a crush on you. Maybe I was wrong to keep our friendship a secret to her. I should've introduced you to each other." You said with uncertainty. Oikawa softly calls your name. You smile. "I should go talk to her. She might destroy my things or worst, my life. She's really really mad this time." You say. You're praying that your sister somehow thought things through before doing crazy things. "Alright. But can we meet later? In the cafe you really like, the one near the school. We need to talk about... something." He said. Maybe he wants to talk about the game. You know it will take a long time for him to forget about his loss today so you just nod at him. You will see him later, but you need to deal with your sister first. - - - - - You arrived home and let out a sigh of relief when you saw that your things are still intact. No missing books, or burned clothes or ripped pictures. Maybe your sister is finally growing up. You hear her door open and close. She is leaving the house and you decided to not talk to her tonight and let the angst pass. Anyway you still have to talk to Oikawa. You changed your clothes and can't find your favorite dress. You thought hard if you already used them and remembered that you used it last week when you went to the bookstore. It wasn't washed yet so you just picked another. You almost run while going to the cafe you're supposed to meet Oikawa. You imagine him sitting in the table near the window and seriously contemplating his life. You smile at the thought. But when you arrived at the Cafe, a tsunami would be an understatement to describe the emotions that washed over you. There he was. The love of your life. Funny how it is only now you admit to yourself that you love him. There he was. But not sitting in the table near the window, not quietly contemplating. And definitely not alone. He was outside the Cafe. Under the lamp post. He was kissing somebody. He was kissing your sister. You were frozen in place. You desperately wanted to run away. Or to break them apart. Or hit themm both with anything. But you just stood there, waiting for them to break the kiss. You stood there in the corner when they broke the kiss and smiled at each other. Their smiles screamed love. And adoration. And belonging. Maybe you were a fool. You asked yourself why did you believe that maybe he can fall in love with you too. Maybe all along he was in love with your sister. That he thinks your naive and immature with all the rants and frustrations you always vent out to him. Your sister saw you, she smiles triumphantly. You were awoken from you reverie. You turned your back and walked away. Away from them. Away from Oikawa. EXTENDED ENDING!!!! [Oikawa's POV] He finally told her. He told her he loves her, and that he always wanted to be together. He wanted them to be more than friends. He was so happy that she responded positively. When he told her that he loves her, he was expecting a slap or that she would laugh at him and won't believe him. He thought she'll get mad at him and yell that he's crossing the damn line. The line that always held him back even though he wanted to kiss her a long time ago. Instead she kissed him. He was happy. Even though they haven't talked about his loss today, at least now he got what he wanted more than winning that damn game. The girl of his dreams. When her lips met his, it was weird. Not that he thinks it is weird to kiss (Name) but it had no spark. No fireworks. Damn it, he thought. Just when he thought that maybe he can get the other thing he wanted, it just didn't feel right. Did he assumed too much? Was he just desperate to feel accepted that he confused comfort with love? But it's impossible. I know I love her. I do. He thinks to himself. When the kiss ended, he stares at her. It's not the same. When he saw her smile deviously to someone from his back, a light bulb popped into his head. Fuck. He confessed and kissed the wrong twin. And knowing the bad blood between (Name) and her sister, he knew deep within him she would never forgive her. Much less listen to his explanation. She won't even look at him even if he kneel and beg. Who thought he would lose the two most important things in his life in one day?

[rhymesandrhythms-blog]

Take A Step (You can’t take back) Oikawa X Reader

You were walking by the sidewalk, clutching your bag as though your life depended on it. But the truth is, you are grabbing it so hard because it is the only way you can focus on striding among the crowd without breaking down. You were barely holding it together. You want to cry and lie down while shouting profanities because God, you just got you heart broken by the man you love. "Curse them both," you whisper. It started raining, much to your dismay. Looks like you the sky is doing the crying for you. Suddenly, the cold doesn't even bother you. Truth is, it even comforts your numb being. - - - - - Oikawa Tooru is a charming guy. He smiles and everybody drops on their knees and worship him. He can throw and insult and would still sound like a compliment. But despite his smiles and good guy act, you were the first to notice that he is a very lonely guy. He was reading by the library, some girls from the other tables openly gawk at her. Honestly, you don't even know why you're taking notice of him. Sure, your twin sister has a huge crush on him and much to her dismay, it was you who was put in the same class as him. And as much as you want to get back at your sister for stealing your long-time crush back in middle school, you decided against it. You won't be like her. You look away from him. You hear some girls bidding him goodbye while leaving the lib. He smiles and waves back at them with a wink. A few minutes later, you find yourself walking up to him. "Isn't it hard?" you say. He flash that million-dollar worth smile and ask, "What is?" "Pretending to be happy and nice all the time." You retort. You notice a slight twitch in his left eyebrow but he retains the smile. "I don't know what you're talking about, (Name)-chan. We've been in the same class since last year and now that you decide to speak to me this is what you say?" "That's 'cause you never talk to me," you think, but hold back. Instead you continued to stare at the beautiful man before you. "Hmm? Do you need something from me, (Name)-chan? Perhaps a help with the lesson? Or are you finally gonna ask me out? Didn't know you like doing the first move, (Name)-chan." He teases you with a smile that will melt anyone's heart. "Ha-ha. Seriously, Oikawa-san, you can drop the act. I know you're wearing a mask. I understand. It's hard to show everyone the real you, the dark and ugly side--" "(Name)-chan." He interrupts. "I don't know what you're talking about." Oh. So he doesn't like showing people his true feelings. But he doesn't like it more when someone points it out to him. Alright. "Oh-kay. If you need someone to talk to, I might be here." "Might be? You're supposed to say you're always here." "Nah. What if I'm not? Then that would make me a liar" This talk is non-sense, you thought. But you find yourself smiling anyway. - - - - - It was exactly 2 weeks and 4 days after your first encounter when Oikawa suddenly barged in your peaceful space at the back of the old gym. It was lunch break and you are fond of going here because it's peaceful and it gives you space to think. "(Name)-chan." Oikawa approaches. "Hmm? Do you need something from me, Oikawa-san? Perhaps a help with the lesson? Or are you finally gonna ask me out? Didn't know you like doing the first move." Throwing his words back at him. You can't help but laugh a little. He smiles. But not the usual bright smile he shows his fan girls. It was a sad smile. You suddenly felt a heavy atmosphere. You turned serious. "Were you telling the truth when you said I can be myself around you?" "I said I might." Trying to lighten the mood a little. He smiles, still a sad one. "Having a rough day?" you asks. "Oh you have no idea." He says, sitting beside you. Too close for your taste but you kept silent. It was that moment when you both started talking more. Secretly though. He was a shining star and you're have a 'I don't give a f*ck" reputation to uphold. He will always find you in your secret haven whenever he needed a break from reality. You saw the real Oikawa. The sad, lonely and insecure boy that tried so hard to cover it. He would tell you stories about how strong their opponents are and how he likes volleyball so much. You liked listening to his stories. He would vent our frustrations and you would listen. But some days, it is your turn to tell him the sh*ts you're also facing. Like how you're twin sister annoys the hell out of you. She's always trying to compete with you. You always try to tell her that life is not a competition but she keeps on making it seem like one. Like the time you got higher scores on the tests, or the time when your parents praised you in front of their business partners. She got so mad, she threw your favorite books in the tub and drowned it in water. "That's what you get for being such an attention-seeking b*itch!!!!!" She yells. You just let her. You try so hard to understand that maybe she feels inferior because you effortlessly glides through life unscathed. She's like Oikawa, in a way. But unlike Oikawa, she tends to focus her energy into ruining your life instead of trying to better herself. You badly want to hit her sometimes, but you just keep quiet because meh, it's hard to deal with crazy people. You tell Oikawa these stories. He sometimes laugh. Oh, not sometimes. Always. He always seemed to take delight out of your frustrations. "You really like seeing me pissed, don't you Too-chin?" You ask. Anticipating the reprimand for calling him nicknames. It didn't come. Instead, he smiles. A rare kind of smile you only saw once or twice in the whole year you've been friend secretly with him. "You're too cute when your mad, (Name)." He dropped the honorifics a long time ago. He says it's high time you call each other by your first names. You didn't mind. You like it, even. - - - - - Weeks, months, years passed. It's your last year in highschool and you're losing your mind over what to do after graduation. You plan on going to a University and Oikawa expressed his interest in going with you. "How will you survive without me?" He says when you asked if he was sure in going with you. You laughed. No one still knows you're friends. You sometimes talk in class but people just see it as normal classmates talking to each other. He lays on your lap and closed his eyes. "It's going to be my last match this year. We're facing Karasuno, Tobio's team." He says. "You'll win." You say. He doesn't say anything but you know you've given him a boost on confidence. It's been a long time since he stopped ranting about his self-doubts and insecurities. It's just that there are some things that triggers it. Like Tobio or Ushiwaka. He said they make him feel inferior. That no matter how hard he trains, because they have talent, he will always fall short. You hated it when he doubts himself. He is awesome and talented and it's a shame he can't see that. - - - - - "(Name)-chan. Let's go watch the volleyball game tomorrow!" You're surprised that you twin asked you to join her. "Why? You can go with your friends." You say even though you really are planning to go. You wouldn't miss Oikawa's final match even if the world ends. "C'mooooon nee-chan!!! Aren't you classmates with Oikawa? I always had a crush on him. Maybe you can introduce me to him now that the season is ending." She says with a little begging. Even though you hate her sometimes, you can't deny that she is still your half and you can't say no. - - - - - They lost. It was a good game, a close match up to the end. But they lost by merely 2 points. It was devastating for them. You can see the players in the court trying to hold back tears. Oikawa is stunned, by the look he is sporting you instantly know the blow he felt when he couldn't return the last shot. It was as if whatever he felt, you felt it too. You can see how he tries so hard to get through the handshakes and bowing down to the other team. You wanna hug him and comfort him and tell him that he is still the best for you. After the match, you decided to find him but your sister is still with you and she is starting to annoy you to go to Oikawa's team and introduce her to him. She don't get it at all. They just lost and her main concern is to be noticed by Oikawa? She'd always been selfish, you thought. But there's nothing more important than finding Tooru so you ignore her annoying voice. You both go to the lockers where you see the team members slowly leaves one by one until Iwaizumi approaches you and tells you that you need to talk to 'him' as if Iwaizumi knew that you were Oikawa's confidante whenever he's upset. You simply nod despite the confused look on your sister's face. "Why does Oikawa-san needs you to talk to him?" Your sister asks but you still ignored her. You enter the room and see Oikawa sitting by the benches. Sadness evident in his eyes. You want nothing more than to run to him and offer a hug but because your sister is with you, you settled for walking towards Oikawa slowly. He raises his head and sees you. He also notices your twin behind you but he pays no attention to her. "(Name)." He utters. You hear a gasp behind you. Maybe she was shocked as to the lack of honorifics in Oikawa's words. Oikawa approaches you and hugs you. You were frozen in place. You did not expect him to show weakness, especially that there is another person in the room besides the two of you. Maybe he didn't care. Your heart sank at the thought that that is how sad he is, he doesn't even care if people see you together. "Nee-san!" Your sister uttered with hardness. When you didn't move she repeated it with more force than the former. Oikawa finally takes notice of the other person in the room. He breaks from the hug and composed himself. He smiles to the both of you, the charming one. You didn't like it. "My my, you really do look alike. Don't you?" He says. Oikawa knows that your sister liked him. But your sister isn't buying any sh*t right now. She just witnessed her crush and you hug and address each other on a first-name basis. Nothing would shift her attention from that. She sharply looks at you and then Oikawa and then back at you again. Your heart pounded. But you refused to back down because once in your life, you wanted to fight for this. Even though you and Oikawa never established the line between. You're friends. But you also know that there's a more palpable connection that you're both trying to ignore. From your point-of-view, you can almost see the veins in your sister's head. It might burst, you thought. You laughed inwardly. This isn't the time for that. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, (NAME)-CHAN!!! OIKAWA AND YOU??? YOU KNEW EACH OTHER? YOU:RE CLOSE? WHAT? WHAT!! WAIT, THIS ISN'T--" Your sister continues to ramble and shout, you wondered if what she's gonna do this time. Maybe throw everything you own into the pool. You didn't care. She grabs your arm and tries to pull you out of the room. Her grip is too tight you wonder if her nails are going to leave scratches on your arm. Oikawa stopped her but she is on the verge of hysterics. You look at him and mentally converse "Later. Please." You've been close for so long for him to be able to know what that look meant. You let your sister drag you out of the room and shouts at you but you already tuned her out. She was yelling words in the line of bitch, revenge or steal. You cannot even comprehend her sentences anymore, you're too busy thinking about Oikawa's loss. You tell your sister she can attack you later and you left her in the corridor. You go back to the lockers. Where Oikawa is. "She's mad." He says. "Oh I didn't notice. Was she? I thought she was just having a--" You were cut off by Oikawa. He gently grabbed your arm and inspected the marks your sister left. Her grip was indeed too tight. "Well, I can't really blame her. She always had a crush on you. Maybe I was wrong to keep our friendship a secret to her. I should've introduced you to each other." You said with uncertainty. Oikawa softly calls your name. You smile. "I should go talk to her. She might destroy my things or worst, my life. She's really really mad this time." You say. You're praying that your sister somehow thought things through before doing crazy things. "Alright. But can we meet later? In the cafe you really like, the one near the school. We need to talk about... something." He said. Maybe he wants to talk about the game. You know it will take a long time for him to forget about his loss today so you just nod at him. You will see him later, but you need to deal with your sister first. - - - - - You arrived home and let out a sigh of relief when you saw that your things are still intact. No missing books, or burned clothes or ripped pictures. Maybe your sister is finally growing up. You hear her door open and close. She is leaving the house and you decided to not talk to her tonight and let the angst pass. Anyway you still have to talk to Oikawa. You changed your clothes and can't find your favorite dress. You thought hard if you already used them and remembered that you used it last week when you went to the bookstore. It wasn't washed yet so you just picked another. You almost run while going to the cafe you're supposed to meet Oikawa. You imagine him sitting in the table near the window and seriously contemplating his life. You smile at the thought. But when you arrived at the Cafe, a tsunami would be an understatement to describe the emotions that washed over you. There he was. The love of your life. Funny how it is only now you admit to yourself that you love him. There he was. But not sitting in the table near the window, not quietly contemplating. And definitely not alone. He was outside the Cafe. Under the lamp post. He was kissing somebody. He was kissing your sister. You were frozen in place. You desperately wanted to run away. Or to break them apart. Or hit themm both with anything. But you just stood there, waiting for them to break the kiss. You stood there in the corner when they broke the kiss and smiled at each other. Their smiles screamed love. And adoration. And belonging. Maybe you were a fool. You asked yourself why did you believe that maybe he can fall in love with you too. Maybe all along he was in love with your sister. That he thinks your naive and immature with all the rants and frustrations you always vent out to him. Your sister saw you, she smiles triumphantly. You were awoken from you reverie. You turned your back and walked away. Away from them. Away from Oikawa. EXTENDED ENDING!!!! [Oikawa's POV] He finally told her. He told her he loves her, and that he always wanted to be together. He wanted them to be more than friends. He was so happy that she responded positively. When he told her that he loves her, he was expecting a slap or that she would laugh at him and won't believe him. He thought she'll get mad at him and yell that he's crossing the damn line. The line that always held him back even though he wanted to kiss her a long time ago. Instead she kissed him. He was happy. Even though they haven't talked about his loss today, at least now he got what he wanted more than winning that damn game. The girl of his dreams. When her lips met his, it was weird. Not that he thinks it is weird to kiss (Name) but it had no spark. No fireworks. Damn it, he thought. Just when he thought that maybe he can get the other thing he wanted, it just didn't feel right. Did he assumed too much? Was he just desperate to feel accepted that he confused comfort with love? But it's impossible. I know I love her. I do. He thinks to himself. When the kiss ended, he stares at her. It's not the same. When he saw her smile deviously to someone from his back, a light bulb popped into his head. Fuck. He confessed and kissed the wrong twin. And knowing the bad blood between (Name) and her sister, he knew deep within him she would never forgive her. Much less listen to his explanation. She won't even look at him even if he kneel and beg. Who thought he would lose the two most important things in his life in one day?

[canaryatlaw]

Okay, well today wasn't bad. Still kind of overall stressed, but dealing with it. I have time at least, to get all this shit done, get it spaced out over and all that, so that helps. Alarm went off at 7 and I got out of bed and made it to work and made it through the rest of the file for the permanency hearing, which was more of the parents being like "we're not alcoholics we don't need treatment fuck you" all the way to getting their damn kid removed, so I write up some normal permanency hearing questions and took that and the file over to the lawyer who gave it to me to talk to him about it. I ask if they ever made a paternity finding, because there was a whole big thing about it because apparently her "dad" her whole life isn't technically her legally-presumed dad because her mother was married to someone else when she was born, but I never found a finding, and then the lawyers like "oh yeah, well dad passed away in November, something related to his alcoholism." Oh. Well. And he goes on to add the mom is basically on her death bed in the same situation. Don't need treatment my ass. This poor child. She seems like a good kid though, so hopefully we can get her get into some post-high school training if not actual college. I'll get to meet her and interview her Monday. At that point I went back to my office and created a template for permanency hearing questions that I could just tweak for individual cases since the status based questions are largely the same. Somewhere in all of this my eyes were drooping way too much again so I took another 15 minute head on desk session, I might've actually passed out for a few minutes, but when the alarm went off I freaked out for a minute because I was expecting the wrong time for some reason and thought I accidentally passed out for like two hours lol. So I was fairly glad that didn't happen. Somewhere in here I also tried to call my psychiatrist about the whole Xanax thing I was discussing last night, only to be told he's on vacation till the end of the month.....I mean, the guy definitely deserves it, he's partially retired already and probably in his 70's, and I don't want to disturb him or anything, but like, I know him and I know he would want to hear two sentences from me on this issue but I didn't want to say it was an emergency because it wasn't, and if I did they probably would've put me on with one of the other psychiatrists that are filling in for him, and I'm sorry but there's no way I'm trusting anyone else with this shit. I think I'm gonna increase it to 3 mg a day for now at least, which is still within the normal range he said I could try so it's not a big deal. Hopefully that will make finals a bit more manageable. So that was less than ideal, but oh well. All of my events are really out of order for today so idk if any of this happened in this order, but around lunchtime I went to go see my across the hall friend who's now my across the building friend, to see if she was feeling better and if she wanted to get lunch because I, like a kindergartener, left my lunch box in the fridge yesterday (I had actually packed dinner in a brown paper bag for later but I didn't want to pack two of those). So we went to the "bakery" that has super awesome pizza an I got some of their pizza with the seriously biggest slices and ate like, half a slice lol. So good though. It was nice to talk to her though, we traded crazy stories from our courthouse and the DV one, and I was just like man, I'm so glad I have people I can share these things with without them being immediately horrified and me being like "yes I know those are terribly tragic circumstances but if you hang in there for a moment the court moment was really funny!!" Lol, it's gallows humor for sure but I mean gotten let it out somehow. I vent to my brother about crazy cases too, that's helpful since talking about the law is one of the few things we can talk about and actually have a lengthy productive discussion on without it somehow devolving into him being an asshole (mostly, anyway). So there's that at least. He appreciates my stories. So back from lunch and I spent a while organizing orders into alphabetized folders for two different lawyers haha who both apologized for the shitty work but I'm like hey whatever it's all good I know I'm the intern and I'll deal with your shitty jobs if it gets me a good in here. And then I had to show my supervisor how to send in the mid-semester evaluation my field placement supervisor wanted from him (oh, and he apparently knew my FP supervisor like 15 years ago and he was her boss in this office??? I swear he was everyone's boss at some point) because he was getting so lost in computer forms and retrieving files and saving them and electronically signing forms, so I'm just sitting there showing him how to do it and he's like "ohmygosh Rachel, you're so smart!!!" and I'm like trying not to laugh because he's just so adorably funny. And then of course I got to read more of the nice things he said about me which made my heart melt once again because he's literally so nice I can't handle it and his words are always really genuine too so it's nice. And yeah. So I didn't have anywhere to rush to right after leaving the juvenile courthouse today for the first time I can remember since, the summer, since I decided no kickboxing this week because I simply don't have the emotional or physical energy for it, so I was just gonna find a Starbucks to chill in and work on my appellate brief until small group time. So I got to like, take my time leaving and my supervisor is like "Rachel what are you still doing here, you're gonna be late to class!!" and it's like 5:01 haha so funny. So then waiting for the bus I saw the PD that was on the panel we did yesterday so we of course talked about delinquency stuff, like the spring break project from last year and of course eventually got into the whole transferring to adult court thing and I mentioned the slenderman case because that's just the most horrific case of misjudgment by the system and she'd heard of it of course but didn't know the details and she was beyond horrified to hear that they're trying two severely mentally ill 12 year old children as adults and having them face 35 years in prison. Like, we literally have an entire juvenile justice system FOR PRECISELY THESE REASONS. Bypassing it ignores all the science and research and not to mention the recidivism rate which skyrockets when you try children as adults. I'll cap it there though, not gonna go into a full rant at the moment (I know I've already done it on here). I got off the one bus to catch another and had to watch it stop and drive off while I was stuck on the other side of the crosswalk which SUCKS and it was just chilly enough to be annoying out today, but then thankfully another bus came like 2 minutes later which isn't typical but I was very grateful for. So I took that to the Starbucks area, then popped into Walgreens to buy more of their caramel chocolates that Lyft driver got me hooked on (lol) except they didn't have those exact ones, so I got what's basically the same but with toffee pieces and I tried a little and they're pretty amazing. So then I went to Starbucks and got an iced white tea lemonade and tried to surreptitiously eat my sandwiches (I mean I was facing the window so I didn't have to be all that secretive about it) and start the behemoth that is gonna be finishing my appellate brief, and I pretty much immediately felt lost, but always over like the stupid stuff I could find like whether saying "don't use the party names" meant the given names or the terms plaintiff/defendant....(it's the prior, I think anyway) but I figured as some sort of game plan I would work on fixing the argument section based on the feedback I got from our prof, since that still is the substance of the brief, and then work on adding all the extra parts. Half of the edits she gave me though we're like about ordering the arguments and shit and it just pissed me off because I like the way I order my arguments, dammit, because IT MAKES SENSE, and I'm sorry if it doesn't fit your blue book standard but my boss at my actual job where I submit actual motions to actual court seems to be quite impressed with it so you can take your argument order and shove it.....(note please that that wasn't actually directed at my prof, cuz I kind of like her, and I know it's the curriculum and not her setting the standards). But that just annoyed me cuz like, real life isn't legal writing fact patterns. You're not always gonna have an analogous case and a distinguishable case, and you're gonna have to make it work. I just....I get too worked up about all of it. But I at least made some progress on preliminary efforts, so maybe, 5% done? It's a start, at least. I walked from the Starbucks to church which is like a ten minute walk and even though it was still a little chilly I haven't done any walking for the past two days and I haven't had any chance to work out this week (I likely won't go to the gym tomorrow because I have no reason to be downtown) so it's something at least, to go with my push ups (which I think may be hurting a muscle in my side, because trying any new physical activity is basically let's see how I can piss my body off this time for me). But yeah, small group was good. This was something I meant to mention quickly on my last week's recap of it, but I think I might have a teeny tiny crush on one of the guys? Like it was in my head last week but it was barely anything, then I get in there today and we start talking about the marvel tv shows and you know I can talk above superheroes all damn day haha so that was enjoyable, and then he was being like "yeah it was cool being at my cousins wedding this weekend but it's also so weird being single at a wedding" and I'm like alright, that might have been a subtle hint, lol, and of course as soon as the idea even entered my head I spent the rest of the night pretty much planning our wedding when I haven't really decided if I even like the guy yet, lol. Physically he's not like drop dead gorgeous, but he's definitely not ugly and has a certain charming quality to his appearance, so I can work with that. The rest of small group (I almost just wrote Smallville) was good too, we talked about a passage in 1 Corinthians I was familiar with about love and of course I got to opine about my deep theories on the issue about how basically the passage is indicative of the entire problem of "religion" and what the church is facing today- that is, they have all the rules, all the right answers, but without love following through all of it it's basically useless, and I feel like that's so on point for what the church is dealing with right now. Like, no. Love meets you were you are. Love is right in there with your mess. Love doesn't require you to clean up your act before you're welcomed into our church. Jesus certainly didn't require it to be let into his presence, so how dare we even try to do it? And yeah, other random deep shit like that, lol, you get the picture. Took the train to the bus as my normal and AGAIN had to run to make the bus (this was a different stop, but same bus route) and again had to bang on the door to get let in while the driver was looking so put out by it and I'm just like....calm your tits lady we're giving your company money but being here, lol. But I got home, didn't almost get run over by a car but had the weird experience of a car stopping fully at a red light, and I started crossing, and then they suddenly started driving again and blew the light by like, a mile. They didn't even come close to wear I was crossing so I was never in danger or anything, but I was like seriously, wtf man? Who does that?!? Idiots. For home and watched Powerless, which was cute of course, then Riverdale which just left me with the comment that this is the one teen drama where all the high schoolers have it together for the most part and all their parents are going batshit crazy, lol. But I enjoyed both, and that pretty much wrapped up my night. And it's late, and I get to sleep in which I'm very glad about, but still I'm tired and want to go to sleep now, so that's what I will do. Goodnight mis amigos. Happy Friday.

[humanistauno]

Paola Marie Zuniga’s Diary

01-13-2020

Monday

Dear Diary,

Everyone in the house was in a rush early in the morning since its Monday and none of us wanted to be late for the flag ceremony in the school. Like the usual, I went to church first to start off my day with a prayer. The world is full of temptations we want to avoid and prayer is one of the weapons you must have to defeat those worldly desires lurking around the corner.

Upon reaching the school grounds, another day in school had started. Still, Sir Bayron – our adviser, is not in good terms with us. I mean, he talk to us and all but still the bond which we used to have is now missing. Maybe he’s still hurt by what the whole class did last year. We said our sorry and all but I know it’s not that easy to forgive but! I also believe that time heals every wounds.

After class, I had to go back to church to join the practice for our choir which we will perform in the conference in General Santos on January 29. Seeing the church members from other neighboring municipalities such as Tampakan, Lake Sebu, Norala, Tupi, Lutayan and Polomolok made me excited for our presentation. We are now joining our forces for a great performance of course who would not be hyped with that thought. Best of lucks to us and May God bless us!

01-14-2020

Tuesday

Dear Diary;

I am sure that I had set my alarm at exactly 3:50AM but I woke up at exactly 6 in the morning. I had to rush things out and do quick movements for me to be able to catch up since I still need to go to church to pray and clean the classroom or else, I’ll kiss my points goodbye. My cousins along with my little sister were on their way to school when I was taking a bath so obviously, I will be on my own again. I really felt independent that time.

I arrived at school not early not late. Why would I even expect for me to arrive early when in the first place I overslept pfft! The usual routine was again applied – I got to clean the assigned area for us and made sure that larroza got to see me cleaning and put that check beside my name hehehe. I know he is a fair and kind classmate but I also have to make sure about my points. After the cleaning session, proper classes already started and I won’t deny that I got sleepy listening to our teacher, Sir Johann. During creative non-fiction, Sir Jepte told us to make use of his time in writing his requirements for his class. Everyone’s busy typing and writing and thinking and all while I just watch YouTube on my phone and do nothing. He even told us that if we are allowed to go outside if we feel like we can write better outside, which I really wanted to do but I am also too tired to move my big body so I remained seated and just continued watching the video.

01-15-2020

Wednesday

Dear Diary;

So today I don’t want to write the things I did the whole day. I just want to vent out because I am not feeling well. This is not related to someone or whatever, I just wanted to express my feelings because I am having fever right now which is so unexpected. I was happy and I kept on joking around earlier but then I ended up having fever.

I just want to say that I really missed my mom. We talked over the phone earlier while she was on her way home. She kept on talking about the foreigners she kept on seeing in Cebu. About her patient who came home from Japan because the economy of the said country is now going down and all. We talked about my future and about the universities I want to attend in college. She knew how I wanted to pass MSU-SASE. She knew how I wanted to go there in MSU and live the college life and I am very thankful on how supported she was but of course, she was also worried about me failing that exam also, she told me I needed plan B and told me it’s best to choose NDMU.

Having this kind of conversation with my mother made me miss her more. I missed seeing her in person and i missed every time she pinch me on my fatty waist. I will not deny that I had thought about living on my own back when she was still here with us- I am honestly excited with the thought of having myself alone, preparing food for myself and live in a room alone. But I am taking those thoughts back because it’s really hard to live a life without a mother. A mother to guide you and listen to your rants. A mother who will scold you for doing such wreck less things and all. Ah! Miss ko na gid si mama : (

01-16-2020

Thursday

Dear diary;

Absent.

I really had the guts last night to go to school with a fever but then my body won’t allow me. I kept myself glued on the bed while I endure the fever. I cannot even speak since my throat was swelling and it hurts even swallowing water. I called my mom and told her about this and she told me this is because I stayed up late for how many nights plus I have a weak immune system and this is the result.

I was just lying in the bed the whole day while I watch some anime series. Mayang even texted me about her head cap and told me they will be having their swimming and she needed the cap. I was panicking and all inside my head, thinking of what should I do to give her the cap since I am absent and I don’t have the strength to go to school and attend classes.

Luckily! My sister whom I thought was ditching her classes told me they only have their class in the afternoon and that she’ll be going to school at lunch. And with that, I asked her to give mayang her cap, problem solved! After that, I went back to sleep and enjoyed my slumber. What a poor pig suffering fever.

01-17-2020

Friday

Dear Diary;

I am still sick at this point but my fever’s now gone. What’s left is my clogged nose due to colds and I have cough that tormented me every time I barked like a crazy dog. Last night, Megue had told me that today will be our practicum in Swimming – I was thinking about going or not because honestly, I still felt weak and I have colds, I might sneeze in the pool and you-know-what might be sticking anywhere which is totally gross. But since It was practicum and I am thinking about the score, I decided to go and attend the class.

Wearing my ahegao shirt with my rash guard underneath with matching school uniform-skirt, I went to SMRAA and was greeted by my classmates. They even asked me if I am feeling well enough for me to participate the activity. Reus even touched my forehead and told me I have still the heat due to my fever but I disregarded what he had said because I low-key want to do swimming hehe.

We learned a new lesson in our PE before our practicum took place. The trainer also was different than the last lesson and for me, the trainer for the new lesson is better than the first one. He was precise in every move he make and he was really making sure that each student was able to catch up the steps he was teaching. After learning lesson two, we had our practicum, which made me feel nervous to be very honest. We have to cross the pool using streamline which was our first lesson in swimming, luckily, I was able to cross the pool and I am hoping my score was not deducted or something hehe.

01-18-2020

Saturday

Dear Diary;

‘Twas our church picnic and water baptism which was held at Armando’s resort. I am going to join the said event originally but then since my whole body was aching because ‘nadoklong ako’ I was not able to join them. For sure everyone’s having fun there along with the foods being prepared there. Guess who’s envious.

Since I am sick and can’t even move an inch because both my arms and legs are numb which I knew the swimming lesson was the cause. I had to layer up my pillow into three just for me to have a comfortable sleep but I think I was not able to achieve that ‘comfortable sleep’ since I kept on coughing and I swear, I even spat blood because of my cough which made me nervous so I texted my mom right away.

I slept at 9AM and woke up at 3PM maybe because I was so tired plus my whole body was painful so all I did was to lay up on my bed and still, watch anime on the laptop. I watched Howl’s moving castle which made me go squeal and groan. Squeal because of how good-looking howl was every time he had his screen time and groan because of how the pain in both of my arms and legs kicked in every time I flinch because of some scenes in the movie.

I even forgot to eat my meal that time so my tita decided to buy me some soft breads just so I can eat and drink medicine. Hmm, being sick is not that bad at all, especially when you are receiving special treatments from your family hehehe.

01-19-2020

Sunday

Dear Diary;

Okay, I am not going to write what I did the whole day instead, I will vent out here because I am really emotionally hurting right now. The last time I did this was when I was sick and it turned out to be about my mom- well today’s not that different, I am hurting and this is still about my mother.

We were on our way home when my tita told my Ates in church to pray for my mom’s safety in Cebu because she was being threatened. She even cried while we were in the vehicle which made me get worried but I managed to stay calm and listened to them. My tita told us that my father, my oh-so-responsible father was threatening my mom because my mother had filed a case against him since he committed adultery and failed to sustain our needs as OUR FATHER. He was mad at her because my mom had a warrant of arrest against him and because of that, he wasn’t able to get some job. He even told my mom that he will talk to his connections to kidnap mom and do his revenge on her.

Hearing those from my tita who was crying made me feel nervous even more. I began to send text messages to my mom but she wasn’t replying even in her Facebook account- she wasn’t online and all. It made me really nervous because I was already thinking so many what ifs inside my head but instead of letting myself drown in those thoughts, I distracted myself by fixing my uniform for tomorrow. After preparing my things, I decided to open my phone and there I saw her reply on my chats and while I was about to type my reply, she called which I answered right away and began crying.

I was crying the whole time while she explained things to me. She told me to just help her by praying because she had some friends there who can help her when things come to worst. She even told me that the signal in cebu wasn’t stable earlier since it was sinulog that’s why she wasn’t able to reply or message us which was a relief for me. I let her talk to my siblings and we were all crying as we exchanged our messages to one another. This is really the time where I need to be more spiritually strong and pray for my mother’s safety while she was far away from us, doing her best to sustain our needs.

Ps: I don’t have hatred towards my father but knowing all the fuss he was making, I am starting to hate him again.

[canaryatlaw]

I need to write because I’m feeling emotional about a bunch of instagram comments that just resulted in a giant twitter rant but I think I got most of it out. Today was alright. I had my alarm set for 11:30 for my job interview at 1:30. So I started getting ready, doing my make up and all that, getting my suit on and was ready to go by 12:30. This one wasn’t far from me, one of the only offices not located downtown but rather a good bit north. This wouldn’t necessarily be an improvement though, because I’d still probably have to be at court every day in the loop, so it would just mean breaking up the travel more during the day but would still take a good bit of time. I got there just around 1, which would normally be the point I found a coffee shop or such to chill in for a bit, except now that I wasn’t downtown there wasn’t one within sight, so instead I ended up going into the sports bar across the street (which was mostly empty given it was the middle of the day on a Thursday) and told them I had a job interview across the street in half an hour and asked if it was cool if I got a soda and chilled there for a bit and they said sure, so I got a coke and chilled out there for a bit, then went to their bathroom to make sure everything was in working order. Went over a few minutes before 1:30, waited a few minutes, then got called back to the office. The first few minutes were awkward because he couldn’t find the resume I sent him which he had printed out for our phone conversation the other day and he was like “you don’t have one with you?” and I had to be like yeah no....generally if they have it in advance that’s not something I need to do. so that was kinda awkward but then he found it and it was all good. It was a pretty good interview I’d say, I could definitely tell that they liked me a lot, they were very impressed with my class rank (top 15% baby) especially the other lawyer who came in to help who was an alum of my school, so that was good. The subject matter is basically the same as my old job would be, personal injury stuff, which obviously is not my favorite, but it is what it is. Whenever I go into an interview with this stuff I end up talking about working with my dad and they’re all like “well why aren’t you just working with him?” and of course the answer is because that’s not the type of law I actually want to do but I can’t say that, so I just throw in a line about how my brother’s eventually going to take over the business and I do not want to work with him in a professional environment (they were pressing me a bit about this like “well why not?” is he just an asshole?” and I was just like “yeah he’s an asshole 😂😂😂 and that was about it). I know I do a good sell in interviews about my previous experience applying even if it’s not the same subject matter because I have experience doing all the major components of a law practice (court, motions, all that good stuff) and my main goal is to help people, and that translates of course because personal injury is still helping people, just not quite the way I’d want to, but I can make a fairly good argument for that. When they asked about where I’d like to be down the road I went with the whole well I want to be with a nonprofit and for that I need to know the civil law system, so I’m gonna get experience with that here, which was the game plan with the last job, so it makes sense. But yeah it went pretty well, they definitely liked me and told me as much, though I’m still rather conflicted over all of it. I used the bathroom before I left only to find I had a giant lipstick smear across my teeth and I was like !!! men!!! they don’t tell you these things!! lol but oh well. I was originally gonna take the bus back but then the app said the next one wasn’t coming for 17 minutes, so I went to get an uber pool but that was taking forever to load, and while that was still trying to figure that out a bus pulled up (the tracker app is wrong sometimes) so I just cancelled the uber (before it was set so I didn’t lose any money) and got on the bus, then took that down to the red line which I took north and got off at the Target because I needed to pick up prescriptions and a few random items (like lemonade, pretzels, flour, sugar, and seaweed) which I got and then did an uber pool home which was a bit of a mess because we were supposed to pick up another passenger after me and the guy didn’t know what he was doing and I was trying to help but the car was moving in the wrong direction on the app and it was a whole big mess and the other rider ended up cancelling so it was like welp just wasted 5 minutes trying to figure that out. Oh well. Dropped me off close to home and walked the rest of the way, I was starting to get cramps at this point (period started today, happy valentines day to me) so I kinda just wanted to curl into a ball and die at this point. but I put the groceries away and changed back into my pajamas and flopped in front of the tv to watch some of the Americans, which I ended up watching through the season 3 finale. I’m going through it a lot faster that I thought I would, probably because the seasons are only 13 episodes. I’ve been craving bubble tea like all week, so I finally got some of that, and then a bit later decided I was gonna get my rice ball so I ordered one and a small pizza (the delivery minimum was $15 and the rice ball was only $3 so I needed more) so I got to enjoy that (the rice ball wasn't quite as good as I was hoping, but definitely still enjoyable). I switched over to tv shortly before Brooklyn 99 started and then watched that, which was such a quality episode I loved it. when that was done I went to netflix to watch some more of Reign, but of course netflix still wasn’t cooperating and keep freezing every 3 seconds which was super annoying. At some point I called my dad to talk about the interview and everything. The thing is I’m so close with OPG on the horizon and so close to being within grasp I really don’t want to get stuck at a job I really don’t want- and tbh I really don’t want this job because it’s not at all what I’m interested in, and they also made it clear they were looking for someone who was going to stay late several days a week and work on the weekends and like.....I can’t do that, I have a life, I don’t want to be working 70 hours a week, I don't think my body could even sustain that. But I mean, if I get offered the job it would seem foolish to turn it down.....but I mean at this point if it happens I might have to do that because I don’t want to get stuck. At this point I’m definitely not going to apply for any more jobs, I talked to the temp people the other day and they said they hadn’t had an applicable projects yet but probably would soon, so the ideal situation would definitely be to work with them being very flexible until the OPG situation works itself out, so I’m just hoping that’s what I’m able to do from here on. It just stresses me out because I’m already stressed about money and I’m hesitant to book any more con plans without having some income (and there’s at least two that we want to book right now) so I’m hoping the temp stuff will get me some soon. so I vented all of that on my dad and he pretty much agreed with me that I should wait for the job I really want, so that’s encouraging at least. It was a good convo, talked to my mom a bit too before going back to netflix. so yeah, lots of feeling going on today. I watched Reign for a while longer until my roommate got out of the shower and I started getting ready for bed, then while going through the few instagram accounts I check daily I stumbled upon a conversation about a person asking if God still loved them even though they were gay, and that gave me a lot of emotion so I left a long comment there and then went on a whole twitter rant about it, which is probably influenced by me feeling extra emotional because I’m on my period, but oh well, it was good stuff and I don’t regret it. and yeah, after that I started writing this and now I am here. Tomorrow I’m free during the day and then going to the Kpop concert at night, then super early Saturday morning we’re flying out to New York for the weekend, seeing The Cursed Child parts 1 and 2 on Saturday then spending Sunday and Monday with my family, so that should be good (I’m just probably going to get very little sleep Friday night since our flight leaves at 5:50 am). But yeah, should be good, and that’s it for now, it’s almost 1:30 am so it’s definitely time for bed. Goodnight loves. Happy Friday.