#oh Im sorry was it Steves name with daggers this time? its so hard to tell

[sp0o0kylights]

Eddie spends a week trying to make serious new years resolutions but keeps gettijg distracted and writing down things like "Figure out why the kids love Steve Harrington so much???" and "Find out if that story about Steve fighting off dogs in the junkyard with a bat is real" and "Stop THINKING about STUPID Steve Harrington!!!"

The entire Hellfire Club knows and keeps making jokes about it.

[lareinenoir]

•Its Enough• PT II

Loki × Reader

⚠ WARNING ⚠ FLUFF, MAKING OUT, SUGGESTIVE CONTENT/LANGUAGE, RARE SWEARING, MAY BE SENSITIVE TO SOME READERS

A/N: Hope you guys like this. Idk how many words. If you haven't read PT one, then go to the magnifying glass and type, loki x reader. No cap tho, I was kinda horny while writing some of this🙈. To much information? Yeah? Ok...Imma just go and let you read. Byeeee 🤗

*****

"Brother? What are you doing up?" Asks Thor walking into the kitchen.

It was rather early in the morning and Thor was always the first one awake in the tower. Loki living there was only temporary. The rest of the avengers weren't truly convinced he had changed, so he and Y/N lived in the tower. Where all eyes were on him.

"Trying to make Y/N her favorite breakfast. She likes pancakes and orange juice.

"Has she tried a delicious poptart. I care for the strawberry and shocolate milkashake."

"Thor, that seems to be the only thing you talk about. Im sorry, but Y/N will not be feasting on Tart pops." Said Loki rolling his eyes "It looks more like a dessert then breakfast."

"Poptart."

"Thats what I said. Tart pops." Loki replied rolling his eyes.

"The midgardians do love their pastries and concentrated food." He nods "Speaking of, have you seen the poptarts? At all?"

Loki wasn't going to entertain this anymore. A little part of him was stressed as he continued to make eggs. He was very focused on that. The where abouts of Thor's precious poptarts was the least of his concerns.

"I'd like to inform you all that Miss. L/N is approaching the door." Said J.A.R.V.I.S

Soon there was a knock and Loki scrambled to make sure everything was perfect. Thor was still scrounging through the cabinets, looking for pop tarts as Loki scrambled to get the door.

"Morning." She waved, but was greeted by a kiss. "Wow. That was very very pleasant." Y/N blushed "Do it again?"

Loki chuckled and spun her around, kissing her hand. "I haven't had the honor of staring at your face in a long time."

"You saw me last night. I face timed you remember?" Y/N giggles standing on her tip toes, kissing his chin.

"I remember how strange it was. That magic box was showing me your face and I could hear you almost so clearly. Like you were right in front of me." He sighed looking down at her face "And you said it wasn't sorcery."

"It isn't." Y/N laughed "That 'magic box' is called an IPhone." She replied using air quotes "Its how we communicate. The technology here is very advanced. You can face time, call, text, watch videos from all over the world. All at your fingertips."

"You know where else I wish was my fingertips were, pet?" He asks with a sly grin, making Y/N cover her mouth to hide how much her cheeks hurt from heat rising to them.

It was meant to be amusing, but Y/N was quite shy about the topic. She didn't really know what to say when Loki would talk like that. Y/N wasn't really experienced.

"Speaking of the magic box, I found a vizio on the Jue tube and have a little surprise for you."

"Oh? A surprise? And its video, Loki. YouTube, not Jue tube."

Taking his hand, Y/N was walked into the kitchen and was greeted by all the avengers. "Morning everyone!" She said

They all responded and she couldn't help but look back at Loki. He didn't look to happy. "May we join you for breakfast?"

"Yeah." Nodded Pepper who was chowing down on pancakes. "Their isn't any syrup, Tony never put it on the list."

"I will pick some up later." Tony nods "J.A.R.V.I.S, add syrup to the shopping list."

"And Orange Juice." Bruce shouts

"Am I the only one here who enjoys apple juice rather than Orange?" Asks Natasha

"Yes!" All the avengers nod

"Y/N which one do you prefer?" Asks the captain, gulping down some of the orange juice.

"I like orange juice too. Sorry, Nat." Y/N giggles "What about you, Loki?"

But he was angry. The tight line on his lips, his eyebrows sewn together made everyone look very surprised. "You imbeciles!" He shouts "This was breakfast made for Y/N. Not you!"

"Loki-"

"I made breakfast for Y/N! You savages are stuffing your face, and wonder why you have such a big gut!"

"Just to let you know, I didn't eat anything. I'm looking for the poptarts." Thor says "Keep your anger towards them."

"Enough! One more time I have to hear about those ghastly pastries, Tart Pops I'll drive my dagger through your chest!" He finishes shouting, then knocking over a vase and storming out.

"Loki! Wait-"

The avengers, one by one, stood up. They felt a little bad but the captain made his way over to her. "I am sorry about the breakfast."

"I'll go talk to him. Maybe calm him down a bit." She answers back going after Loki.

Y/N hadn't really seen Loki get angry, but there hasn't really been anything to get angry over. Calling his name again, Y/N sees him pouting.

Pouting.

What an odd sight...

It was kind of amusing to see the god of mischief pouting like a child.

"I can't believe you made breakfast for me." She cooes sitting down on the edge of his bed. Taking a hold of his pale hands, Y/N laced them with hers and kissed them softly. "It was really sweet of you."

Loki felt her head lean on his shoulder and he sighed. "You didn't even get to eat it." He replied "I should go back there and turn them all into rats."

"But you won't." Giggled Y/N "Its the thought that counts."

"Maybe I could have the chance to make you breakfast again, pet."

"Sure. If that will flip that silly frown upside down." She says laying kisses on his cheek.

"I'm sorry what? Upside down frown?" He questions "I must sound really incompetent. Do explain."

Rolling her eyes, Y/N looked at him. "A frown upside down is a smile. I think I'll keep the metaphors to a minimum."

"Right." He nods bringing her forehead to his. "You're absolutely ravishing." Loki mutters, putting his lips on her nose. "I've been stuck in this place all weekend. I think Monday is my favorite day."

"Is that so?" She giggles pushing him onto the bed, straddling his waste.

"Quite." He nods as she lays kisses along his neck. A soft moan, leaves his throat. "Stark complains about Monday all the time. Besides, It's the only day you don't have to work and I have you all to my self."

"Then. I. Am. A. Lucky. Girl." She winked in between kisses, pulling his shirt from over his head, throwing it to the side. "You actually look really good in our clothes." Y/N commented, pulling off her own, top. "Very...sexy."

"I like that word." He chuckled, rubbing his lips together. "It's another way to say-" Y/N didn't let him finish. She crushes her lips to his, slipping her tongue into his mouth. Of course Loki knew of this kiss, putting it into practice was the best part.

The two liked to battle as there tongues grazed each others mouths, searching for something and how tight Loki's grip got around her body, made it even better.

Moaning into each others mouths made Loki pull back to see her swollen lips. He pecked it a bit and felt her run her fingers through his jet black hair, with sly little smirks smeared equally upon their faces.

"You my dear pet," says Loki, reaching for the back of her bra to unhook it. "are positively the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on." He whispers in her ear, giving Y/N chills down her back, as Loki tosses her bra to the side of the bed.

"Tell me more." She said back, not just the cool air making her nipples perk up and get hard, along with the man just below her pants.

Loki loved whispering things to Y/N. He loved how the little goosebumps trailed up her arms, neck, back made her moan his name beggingly.

"Hey Loki!" Said Bruce barging in "Have you seen the toaster? J.A.R.V.I.S said you were having trouble with-"

"OH MY GOSH!" Y/N screamed getting off Loki to grab a pillow to cover herself. "WHAT THE HELL! DON'T YOU KNOCK!"

"What's going on in here?" Asks Steve walking in too

Soon everyone was in the room shouting at each other. Everyone very confused about what was happening.

"HOLD ON A SEC!" Tony shouts, louder than everyone and that grabs their attention. "What the hell is going on."

"I was just asking about the toaster for Thor's poptarts. Clint thought it'd be a good idea to introduce him to the heated version."

"And that gave you the right to just barge in?" Asks Y/N still a bit upset, but laughing at the same time. "Unbelievable."

"You all grown more irritating by the second." Loki says between his teeth

"Why don't we give them their privacy." Wanda suggests. Natasha nodding her head agreeing.

"What about the toaster?" Asks Thor "I'd very much like to try-"

"Forget about it, buddy." Clint answered back, ushering everyone out.

"Finally." Sighed Y/N, hearing the door shut. Her sneaky smirk returning.

"I thought they'd never leave." He yanks her arms, back onto the bed. A littls squeal escapes and they just laugh, kissing each other inbetween. Loki now settled, somewhat, inbetween her legs.

"Hey guys." The door swings open again.

"DAMNIT TONY!" Yelled Y/N getting more annoyed. He had his hands over his eyes.

"I'm not a peeker." He says reaching into his pocket. With a swift motion, he tossed a little package their way.

"Really Tony!" She sighed but also laughing at it, and Loki couldn't help but do it too. "A condom?"

"Stay safe kids." He then exits the room

"Don't worry, we'll put this to some good use." Whispers Loki into Y/N ear

[areyoureadyforsomemeatballz]

You’ve Got Mail (4)

Summary: You find yourself falling for stranger on an anonymous messenger app created for students at your college. What happens when you discover that they’re not a stranger after all?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 1900

Warnings: Some swearing. Two dumb asses in love.

A/N: We’re coming to a head my friends! I’m so excited to share this next part with you. Please, please, please let me know what you think! Talking with you guys and hearing your thoughts makes me ridiculously happy. This is part of my entry for @spideywhiteys 1000 follower challenge, go check Jem out.

Natasha leads you into a booth at the diner across from your apartment building. After the waiter drops your drinks off at the table she gives you an expectant look. You stir the straw around in your glass absentmindedly and take a deep breath. Your hands drop to the sticky table, avoiding her eyes.

“I want what you and Clint have.” You look up from your clasped hands. “Hell, I want what Bucky and Sam have. I want someone who knows me inside and out and loves me for it-”

Natasha reaches across the table for your hand and cuts you off. “Honey-”

“Nat, its fine. I’m fine. It’s just hard not to think about it when I’m surrounded by happy couples.”

She squeezes your hand softly. “We’re not always happy.”

“I know that,” you say. “No relationship is going to be perfect. But, in the end, you make it work and you can’t deny that you’re not happier with Clint in your life.”

Her eyes soften, and she nods her head. “He’s my everything.”

You smile at her. “I kinda met someone.”

Her eyes go wide, and she grips your hand again, tighter this time. “What? When? Are they hot? Have you slept together?” She pauses briefly, and her eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. “Oh my god, was it Tony’s app?”

Your cheeks heat up and you busy yourself with the menu in front of you. “Yeah, it was the fucking app,” you whisper. “God, I feel so stupid.”

She tugs the menu away from your face. “One, you get the same thing every time we come here. Two, why do you feel stupid? Who cares how you met someone?”

“We’ve never actually met,” you mumble.

“Come again?”

“I’ve never actually met him. I don’t even know his name.”

Natasha’s jaw drops and her brows furrow. “How long has this been going on?”

“Since the night of the release party.”

“That was weeks ago,” she shouts, much to the annoyance of the couple in the booth behind yours. The old woman whips her head around to glare daggers at the two of you.

You clap your hand over her mouth with wide eyes. “Natty shh. I know!”

You drop your hand from her face when you’re sure she won’t yell again. “I didn’t even know you were still using it! I figured you stopped as soon as I talked to Clint. I mean that was the deal, right?”

You nod your head and pull out your phone. “Yeah, but I got attached.” Your head drops onto the table with a quiet bang. “I really like him, Natasha.”

“I’m not seeing the issue? Besides you not telling me ‘till now.”

“I don’t even know him! What if he’s a serial killer? What if he’s a terrible frat guy?”

She rolls her eyes at you and presses against your forehead, forcing you to sit up. “You’ve been talking for over a month, I think you’re a pretty good judge of character. So, when are you meeting him?”

“Do you think I should?”

“Do you think you shouldn’t?”

“You’re not being helpful,” you whine.

“You’re the only one that can decide if you should meet this guy,” she says. “Does he make you happy?”

“Yeah, yeah he does.”

The waiter comes back to take your orders and after Natasha launches into a story about one of her coaches. You set your phone off to the side, not noticing the vibration signaling a new message. Once you’re home you unlock your phone, grinning at the screen when you realize you have an unread text from your mystery man.

CaptainDumbass: OH MY GOD

ActualWitch: ???

ActualWitch: Are you okay

CaptainDumbass: It took you like a year to respond

ActualWitch: I haven’t had my phone all morning

ActualWitch: Why were you freaking out?

CaptainDumbass: OH YEAH

CaptainDumbass: WAIT

CaptainDumbass: WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT

ActualWitch: you declared your undying love for me

CaptainDumbass: Yes

CaptainDumbass: Wait, no

CaptainDumbass: I…

ActualWitch: Im messing with you gramps

CaptainDumbass: I do like you though

CaptainDumbass: But I didn’t mean to spring it on you like that

CaptainDumbass: I was in kind of a weird place

ActualWitch: But you still like me?

CaptainDumbass: Yes

ActualWitch: We’re on the same page then

ActualWitch: I like you too

CaptainDumbass: I thought it was a dream that I told you

ActualWitch: Are you okay?

CaptainDumbass: Yeah

CaptainDumbass: I just had a rough night

CaptainDumbass: Is that too vague?

ActualWitch: A bit?

CaptainDumbass: I was confused about my feelings and one of my friends decided it would be a good idea to get really drunk

CaptainDumbass: but not so much

ActualWitch: I think we’ve all been there

CaptainDumbass: I don’t regret it though

CaptainDumbass: I think it would have taken me a lot longer to get the courage to tell you

ActualWitch: You don’t even regret the hangover?

CaptainDumbass: I don’t even regret the hangover…

CaptainDumbass: not if it means you know how I feel

ActualWitch: you’re a fucking sap

ActualWitch: I wish I could bring you coffee or painkillers or something...

CaptainDumbass: is that your way of saying you want to meet me?

CaptainDumbass: because I’d love nothing more

CaptainDumbass: … Please answer

CaptainDumbass: I take it back

CaptainDumbass: I’m so sorry

ActualWitch: I literally didn’t answer for thirty secods

CaptainDumbass: Are you still mocking me?

CaptainDumbass: OR DID YOU MAKE A MISTAKE?!?!?!

CaptainDumbass: GRANDMA!

ActualWitch: Why do I want to meet you again?

CaptainDumbass: You want to meet me?

ActualWitch: I was trying to say that and then you had a small meltdown

CaptainDumbass: When are you free?

ActualWitch: Tuesday night?

CaptainDumbass: I have class then

CaptainDumbass: Wednesday?

ActualWitch: Class :(

CaptainDumbass: What about tonight?

CaptainDumbass: Is that too soon??  

ActualWitch: I mean that works for me

CaptainDumbass: There’s a little coffee shop on main, does that work

ActualWitch: Are you talking about Val’s??

CaptainDumbass: Yes?

CaptainDumbass: Have you been there?

ActualWitch: I might be in love with you….

ActualWitch: VALS IS MY LIFE

CaptainDumbass: Well then

CaptainDumbass: See you tonight

ActualWitch: Look for the girl with the roses

CaptainDumbass: Oh smart. So I know its you

ActualWitch: I WAS KIDDING

ActualWitch: Oh my godddddddddddddddddd

ActualWitch: See you tonight dummy

You toss your phone down and notice a draft of one of Steve’s assignments on your desk that he must’ve left after your last study session. You squeeze your eyes closed and lean back against your bed. You’d been able to push Steve out of your thoughts all morning, but now he was at the forefront of your mind. You push yourself up off the bed and scoop his work up. You march down the hall to his door and take a breath before tapping on the door.  

Steve swings the door open and his eyes light up briefly as he takes in the sight of you. The circles under his eyes seem darker and he leans against the doorframe with a quirked brow. “I uh- I missed you at breakfast,” his voice is rough as if he hasn’t spoken all day. “You and Nat- we missed you and Nat this morning.”

You shrug your shoulders and your lips quirk up. “Sorry, Stevie. We weren’t feeling up for it.”

Steve runs his hand over the back of his head and his cheeks dusted with a blush. “Oh, did you end up going out last night?”

Your nose crinkles and you shake your head. “I would’ve texted.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what forget I said anything.” You thrust the stack of papers in your hand into his chest. “You left these at my place.”

You spin on your heel to leave, but Steve’s hand closes around your wrist. “What are we doing?”

“Well, I was trying to go back to my apartment.”

Steve groans and drops your hand. “You know that’s not what I meant!”

“I don’t know what to say, Steve.”

“You don’t have to say anything, I just miss my best friend.”

Your eyes dart down to your feet. “I miss you too.”

He tugs you toward his chest and you breathe in deeply as you settle against him. Steve nuzzles his nose into your hair, making you laugh. The two of you stay wrapped in each other’s arms until you hear approaching footsteps. You are torn as you step away from him.

“Are you busy right now?

You look down at your phone and notice that you need to head to Val’s soon. You look back up and can’t deny Steve’s pleading eyes. “I uh- No. No, I’m not busy. Why?”

Steve nods his head toward his door with a small smile. “Do you want to come watch movies with me? I’ll even get Chinese food from that shit-hole down the street.”

“Excuse you, that ‘shit-hole’ is so much better than the place you like.”

Steve’s smile grows and leads you into his place, grabbing your favorite blanket and getting you settled on the couch. “I’m going to go order the food. Pick whatever you want to watch, okay?”

Steve retreats to the kitchen and you glance behind you quickly. You open up the Campus Chat app to cancel your plans for the evening.

ActualWitch: Please don’t hate me

CaptainDumbass: I could never?

CaptainDumbass: Oh shit….

CaptainDumbass: Something came up can we reschedule?

ActualWitch: Yes!

ActualWitch: That’s why I texted you

Actual Witch: My friend is having a crisis

CaptainDumbass: Same here.

ActualWitch: When do you want to switch to

CaptainDumbass: What about this time next week?

ActualWitch: 5 next Saturday?

CaptainDumbass: works for me

ActualWitch: okay

ActualWitch: That’s a long time to wait…

You hear Steve puttering around the kitchen and turn back to your phone waiting for a response. Steve’s voice fills the apartment as he calls in your order and you snatch up the remote to find a movie before he gets back. He flops on the couch next to you, resting his head on your thigh.

“What took you so long in there?”

A blush dusts his cheeks as he looks up at you. “I had to send a quick text.”

Your smile falls for a split second, but you school your features before Steve sees. “Oh, to that girl you’ve been talking to?”

He nods his head in your lap and you decide to drop the conversation. As you continue the search for a movie you can feel Steve’s eyes on you. He sits up to help you look and you pass him the remote.

“I have to go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” You stand quickly and retreat, hoping that a break will let the tension out of the room.

Steve watches as you rush to the bathroom with a small frown on his face. He pulls his phone out and his frown drops when he notices a new message on Campus Chat.

CaptainDumbass: Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Your phone buzzes on the coffee table right after he sends the message. Steve’s eyes widen, and he reaches for your phone. He drops his hand, rethinking his action, and instead unlocks his phone again.

CaptainDumbass: …

Another buzz sounds from the table.

CaptainDumbass: Hey

Another buzz.

Steve plucks your phone off the table and his eyes dart down the hallway. He unlocks your phone and his heart stops when he sees a very familiar text thread. Steve drops your phone as if it had bitten him and all the color drains from his face. He was fucked. 

Part 3

Part 5

[scarlette-joel-writing]

Erased Pt. 4

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Requested by: Me. 

Warnings: Yall already know. 

A/N I think im just gonna give up with telling you how long this thing is gonna be. It will be done when I think its ready to be done LOL 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5  Part 6  Part 7 Part 8  Part 9 Part 10  Part 11  Part 12 Part 13

~

The mind is a complex and vast place.

Filled to the brim with all of the conscious and subconscious things that you remember or know. Every fact that you have ever learned, every word that you have ever spoken, every memory that you have ever had is stored within your head. Memories that you don’t believe you have or believe that you might have forgotten are there as well. Every single moment of a person’s life Is stored within their mind.

It is just a matter of retrieving the information that you want. It’s a matter of sifting through the data to find what you need.

Let’s see if I can put it into simpler terms. The mind is like a huge, never-ending warehouse that is filled to the brim with rows upon rows of filing cabinets. And in these filing cabinets is every action you have ever done. Every word that you have ever spoken. Every date you have been on and every test that you have ever taken. All of these memories and moments of your life are stored in your head.

And all of your conscious knowledge. All of the facts that you know and the words that you can speak. All of the memories that you can recall. Those are all located in the 10% of the brain that humans can actually use. Everything you know is located in 10%. Just imagine what things are hiding in the other 90% in your subconscious.

And there is no organization to these memories. Every person is different and that means that every person’s mind is different. In some places it is well lit and clean and stable. And in other cases there are no lights and there are spiders and cobwebs everywhere. Some might have their brain organized chronologically or by the importance of the memory. Other might have the happy memories first or vice versa.

And in my case at the moment, my mind is black. Everything is black and I cant see or hear or feel anything. But I am acutely aware that I am still in my own head. I am aware that I am thinking but there is nothing to think of.

Where my brain differs from other peoples is in the fact that I can use all 100% of my brain. Kind of like that movie that came out a while ago with the woman who looked a lot like Natasha Romanoff, but not exactly. I don’t see strings of numbers like her. But because I can use all of my brain, I know everything that has ever happened in my life. Every word I have ever read. Every answer to every test that I have ever taken. I can remember names of thousands upon thousands of people, and I can see not only my memories but the memories that I have taken from other people.

Like right now. If I was a normal person and I had passed out, I would be dreaming. Or everything would just be black and I wouldn’t even know that I was passed out, but because I am who I am, I can still sense the outside world and I can still sense that I am somewhere different from where I usually am. Usually I like the quiet and the peace, but not when I cant control it. Not when I cant turn it off and go back to reality.

When I am not in control, things start to get a little shaky.

I close my mind’s eye for a second before I allow myself to “sit down” on the floor of my dark mind and cross my legs. If I cant help the situation that I am in. If I cant fight my way out of it, then I might as well take this moment to do a bit of meditating. Try to find some good out of all of the shit that has happened.

I am sitting there for almost 2 days, TWO FREAKING DAYS, when I can feel my outside body begin to stir. See, sometimes there isn’t really a connection between my body and my brain. I have a really strong mind that I can do a lot with but I have a really weak body that really doesn’t want to follow any rules that I give it. My brain gets hurt? It bounces straight back. My body takes a beating from a genetically enhanced super soldier that was trying to kill me? Suddenly it doesn’t want to function correctly. I don’t get it.

“Fuck,” is the first thing out of my mouth as I open my eyes to the bright eyes overhead. I can feel the pain radiating throughout my body and the way that my muscles twitch every few seconds from the complete and utter beating that they took almost 46 hours ago. I don’t even attempt to move. I just stay where I am and hope that it all goes away

“Y/N” someone says and when I open my eyes again and look down, I can just see that everyone in the complex is staring at me. Looking at me like I am a lost puppy. Cap, Sam, and Vision are on one side of me, Tony and Clint in front of me and Natasha, Wanda, and Bruce on the other side of me. I am down in Med bay, laying in a bed and it makes me wanna laugh. Looks like the roles have reversed.

“Hello,” I say as I take a deep breath, immediately regretting that decision because my lungs feel like a dagger went through them.

“Thought we had lost you there for a second. You have been out almost 2 days,” Sam says to me as he hands me a cup of water. Natasha pushes a button on the side of the bed to put me in a sitting position, an action that does nothing but cause me to writhe in pain, and then I take a sip of water. It feels like a glacier running down my throat and I love it.

“Oh trust me, I know exactly how long I was out,” I take another look around the room and I see that I completely skipped over the fact that someone isn’t present at my little “youre alive” party. “Where is Barnes? Still recovering from the beating I gave him?” I laugh. But I seem to be the only one. Suddenly no one will look at me. Suddenly the floor has become the most interesting thing in the world. “Guys. Where is Bucky?”

“He hasn’t left his room since you passed out, Y/N,” Cap says and I just give him a look that tells him that I am utterly confused.

“Yes, the boy seems to think that locking himself in a room and refusing meals is going to make you better,” comes Tony’s response. “Oh, and next time you decide you want to bleed all over a carpet, can you make sure that it is not my very expensive carpet? Thank you,” Tony takes a step forward, puts his hand on my leg and then gives me a wink. “But I am glad that you are okay,” and then he is gone.

Ah Tony. Always the closeted sap.

“Someone help me up. I need to go talk to bucky,” I am pulling out IV’s and tubes, trying to move the blankets.

“You are not going anywhere Y/N,” Cap says as he comes over and puts a hand on my shoulder. “You just woke up from a two day coma. Bucky can wait a bit,”

“I wasn’t asking, Captain,” I say as I shake his arm off of me.

“And neither was I. It was an order,”

“Then I guess it is a good thing that I am not really a part of your team, now isn’t it?” And with that, I pull myself up off the bed and take a few shaky steps to the elevator. My body doesn’t want to cooperate with me but I have to tell Bucky that this isn’t his fault. I hit the button and the elevator opens and then closes behind me a few seconds later. “Floor 27,” I say as we descend.

Walking is hard. And walking with bruises and cuts all over your body after not having moved for two days is even harder. I can feel the way that my shoulders sag and I hate it. I hate feeling weak. I hate feeling like I cant do anything. Even though my brain is running at top speed right now.

I get off the elevator and into the living room of Bucky’s apartment. It is clean and nice and empty. I make my way to his bedroom door, which I know is his because every floor has the same layout, and I knock.

“Go away, Steve. I am not in the mood,” I can hear his voice come from the other side and it sends a shiver down my spine. So small. So weak. So broken. All of those feelings and emotions flood through me as I stand there on the other side of the door. I have never heard him like that before. Never heard him sound so distraught. Could that really be because of me?

I knock again.

“Go away, Steve.” He doesn’t yell and he doesn’t seem angry. He just seems sad. So much sadness.

“Well, I am not Steve,” I say and then I can hear the flying of feet and the unlocking of the door before I am brought face to face with James Buchanan Barnes himself. Staring down at me with wide eyes. “And I am not going away. I am pretty hard to get rid of,”

“Oh my god, Y/N,” he whispers and then he wraps his flesh arm around my waist and pulls me to his chest. It knocks the wind out of me a bit but I let my shock overtake the pain at the fact that I am stood here, hugging Bucky Barnes. I can feel Bucky’s head nestle into the crook of my neck and it makes my heart begin to beat faster. “Oh my god, I am so sorry. I am so so so sorry. I cant believe that I did that to you. I cant believe that you almost died because of me. I am so sorry,” he keeps repeating over and over again. I just wrap my arms around his neck and rub small circles on his back.

“It isn’t your fault, Bucky. Im not mad at you, and I didnt come up here to get mad at you. I came to make sure that you were alright. The guys tell me that you haven’t been eating,” I pull him back from the hug to see the dark dark circles under his eyes. “And apparently you haven’t been sleeping well either,” he scoffs.

“How could I sleep knowing that you might not have woken up from me beating you?!” I just grab his hand and pull him back into the bedroom. Over to the bed. And then I make him sit. I go around to the other side of the bed and sit as well because my everything hurts and I am tired. “I did this to you,”

“No. Hydra did this to me. And tomorrow we will talk about a more permanent solution to the problem of you going all super soldier on us. But for tonight, I would really like to sleep,” I pat the bed next to me, and he hesitantly lays down. He keeps his distance, not that I mind too much because I don’t think that I am fully recovered from that hug earlier, but I look over at him and smile. “Ill make the memories go away,” I whisper to him with a soft smile and he looks at me with wide eyes.

“No, Y/N-“ he begins.

“I will make them go away for tonight. Just for tonight. No nightmares. No dreams. No any of that. Just a well-deserved rest that both of us need. Okay?” I look back at him with raised eyes and he nods his head and lays back against the pillow.

“Alright,” he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and I do the same. I let my mind open to allow his thoughts in and he can seem to sense my presence because all thoughts go quiet. Not that I mind too much. I just myself drift off to sleep where there is nothing but blackness.

And the warmth of a body less than 2 feet away from me.

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