#oh also one last controversial opinion right at the bottom here

[solilakoi]

Monster High March Day 3: Toralei Dancing

Idk why, but as I drew this I imagined her dancing to I Am A Poseur by X-Ray Spex.  Has that kind of aggressive “I dont give a fuck” and abrasive-on-purpose energy that I think Toralei revels in.

[nakedmonkey]

Can you elaborate on "Melissa Schemmenti is a bottom" for me.... for reasons....

oh my goodness, this is my chance to (be pelted by fandom cause I know this is a controversial opinion) shine!

So. Here's the thing. If we want to get technical, Melissa is a switch who tops A LOT (is this gonna get NSFW? Yah. A little bit, but first let's get real angsty--also this got long, I apologize), BUT once someone manages to crack the hard shell, she is emotionally, sexually, and inherently, a bottom.

Top in the streets, bottom in the sheets BECAUSE she needs to feel emotionally supported to grant someone the absolute gift of topping her (can you imagine? The Privilege).

People like Melissa aren't born tough, they're made that way because they have to be. She gives off very Eldest Daughter vibes to me (happy to be proven wrong by canon tho, would love it if she had an older brother but I doubt it), the third parent type. She's taken care of people her entire life, has taken on great responsibilities because that's just what you do when you're the eldest (took care of grandma during her last days etc.), and this can turn an Eldest Daughter into a Parent-Partner, especially if a certain ex-husband didn't mind being the one in the relationship whose needs were always met and wasn't really expected to reciprocate.

Melissa is resourceful and tough because she's had to be, and she's never asked anyone for help cause no one's ever offered!

This kind of habit of compartmentalizing and setting aside her own needs carries over to her sex life.

It's a comfort zone as much as it is a setback. Both with women and men, but more so with women.

Women have always been Melissa's downfall, more than men. And that's because it always starts out on pretty even ground.

Because old customs and a very Catholic upbringing normalize a level of subservience to men, it allows her a certain freedom when it comes to her relationships with women. Private as she may be, she's still less guarded around women by nature and she approaches these connections without the preset notion that she's expected to take care of them.

They're like her. They take care of their own shit.

If only she wasn't such a homo for them tho.

Melissa's found that she takes great pleasure in giving women pleasure, because she knows, from personal experience, that if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself, and why would sex be any different?

Doing this for another woman, making her feel good, is a high like no other.

If Melissa's sexual history had a Yelp page, she'd have only 5 star ratings.

There are rules tho. Or she used to have rules before Barbara.

Casual flings were fine, but no one fucked her unless she knew them.

And NO ONE ate her out unless she trusted them.

She may love women, but she has boundaries--and plenty of trust issues.

(those boundaries have never applied to Barbara Howard)

Being the one who leads, the one in charge, is a way for Melissa to keep herself safe.

But that's not say she doesn't enjoy being lead just the same--it just takes a certain kind of person.

Like Jen, the personal trainer she hooked up with on a semi-regular basis during one of her breakups with Barbara who liked to blindfold her and fuck her until she was absolutely spent.

It all ended when Jen suggested maybe they should spend more time together.

Barbara is a lot like Melissa in certain ways--she's got a thick shell of her own for one, except hers requires heavy machinery to cut through.

Melissa never got a chance to think about who would top who when they got together because she realized she was in love with Barbara before she ever really recognized she wanted to fuck her.

It was easy.

Barbara takes care of Melissa in ways no one else ever has--she anticipates her needs and Melissa never has to ask

She trusted Barbara with her life before they even acknowledged their mutual attraction.

And the first time they kissed, Melissa knew that she would a) spend hours between Barbara's legs given the chance, and b) she would let Barbara do whatever she wanted to her.

Now she's still selective, but the criteria changes depending on her mood, and on how things are going with Barb.

She may spend hours replaying the way Barbara moans her name when she fucks her, but she also likes being pinned to a flat surface as much as the next girl, you know?

[king-paimon]

HnK Chapter 95 Thoughts: The cruelest chapter of all times

AKA: The chapter everyone hated

AKA: No happy ending in sight

AKA: Haruko Ichikawa is a monster

AKA: I called it again (and I wish I was wrong)

AKA: Talk about kicking someone while they’re down

Ms. Haruko Ichikawa. You’ve truly done it. You truly are a cruel, sadistic, trolling monster. You leave us with this chapter? This chapter that truly shows us that despite every hardship they faced, Phos gets nothing. This chapter shows that Phos was destined to be in constant misery, and to rub that in with literally everyone else is free and happy? And to add more salt to the wound, you’re leaving us on an hiatus for who knows how long??

This is without a doubt the cruelest chapter to leave us on and this is probably one of the cruelest things a mangaka can ever do for a series as intense as this. I wish the previous chapter was the last one for the end of this year because at least with that one, it would have given us some sense of something.

Man. I’m both horrified and amazed by you, Ms. Ichikawa. I’m not even being sarcastic, I’m truly in awe.

Ugh.

As you can see, I have several things I have to say about this and... Just wow. This chapter. In these posts, I try my best to try and write my thoughts with the most rational mindset but... I don’t know how well I’ll be able to do that with this chapter. What a way to end this horrible year. 

But with this chapter’s ending and the implication for what is yet to come... this marks as the story’s descend to it’s bitter end, and I now wish I didn’t make that prediction last month.

I know I said in another post that I was going to write this in a few days, but I changed my mind. I’m getting this out now while my thoughts are still fresh in my mind. Please don’t mind the writing errors, I’m very tired, I’m writing this at 3 in the morning and I need to sleep. I promise I will come back to this and tidy it up later.

Anyways, here we go:

Haruko Ichikawa: Manipulator of emotions

Ms. Ichikawa really toyed with us with this chapter. So many things happened in such a short amount of time and I’m trying to process it. Also, doesn’t feel like too much happened in this chapter? Especially in comparison to the previous chapters, where everything was stretched out, to then have this chapter have so many things happen all at once. This chapter, in many ways, feels very rushed... and this style of story telling has me very worried about what’ll happen from here on out. I’ll talk more about what I mean by this later, but for now, let’s focus on the story of this chapter:

So... Antarctictite is back now. Adamant is back, too. So are most of destroyed gems, both the ones we knew and the ones we never got meet. And they are all now Lunarians... Hm.

I don’t like this or anything in this chapter for many reasons. In fact, I’ll go as far to say that I don’t like where the whole story is headed for these same reasons: 

The first reason: The emotional turmoil from the previous chapters

For the past 10 or so chapters, I’d been anticipating the destruction of the gems and Adamant. I was one of the people who didn’t like the idea of it happening, though I knew they kind of deserve it. And I remember how sad I was seeing Adamant turn to nothing but dust and seeing how everything was affecting Phos after the bloodlust ceased.

But it all led up to...this. In the very next chapter, after watching those heart wrenching scenes of the gems being broken down and Adamant’s last moments with Phos...we see him and the other gems being brought back like it was nothing.  And on top of that, they are totally happy Lunarians now. Yeah. Okay.

So it feels like the emotional tole that I felt for these characters I didn’t want to see get destroyed...meant nothing. Not going to lie: I kind of wish you all stayed destroyed.

And you know what? It’s kind of funny. In my Chapter 94 post, I said I was sad that we didn’t get to see Adamant and Aechmea interact and I didn’t think there would be a way now that Adamant is dust. Well. I was wrong. It happened. I got the interaction that wanted. Wasn’t worth it. 

So to sum up this first reason: The emotional turmoil that I personally experienced watching the characters I like get destroyed... meant nothing in the end.

Now I don’t know how to feel about these characters. It sucks. I even had a post that I was starting write about on a certain controversial character that I couldn’t bring myself to hate, despite everything, but I’m now debating whether or not I should still write it. I think I will, but there will be a lot of edits.

The second reason: Negation of personal growth

One of the things that has been brought up many times by fans is about how the gems dealt with problems. Instead of trying to address the problem and talk to try to fix it, they chose to ignore it and sweep it under the rug, no matter how upsetting it is to the characters involved. All of the gems, both Earth and Moon, constantly choose to not confront the issue and stay blissfully ignorant.

And now that they’re accepting to be Lunarians, it feels like they’re just running away again. Instead of confronting the Lunarians or having the gems properly talking with each other about how things got to the point where they had to once fight each other, they are like: Oh, we can be Lunarians so we don’t have to fight with them anymore? Awesome. Let’s do it.

Everyone is once again going with the flow, just sweeping the glaring issues that they all carried for so long, and are just accepting the new reality that they are in with no problems whatsoever. No addressing of anything means no character growth for all of them. No one grew from this experience. No one learned that ignoring the problems doesn’t solve them. They aren’t solving their previous issues, they are masking it under the belief that becoming Lunarian automatically solves all of their problems. 

No talking between Diamond or Bort. No talking with Yellow about their traumas or any of the other gems in the same boat. And no talking about how everything that happened lead to Phos doing what they did. It’s even more disappointing how Antarcticite was the only one who showed any concern about Phos or even thought to bring them up in the first place.

Edit: Also to add, the other problem here is how the are conscious choosing to remove your identity. They are not only choosing to loose their identity as gems, but they are fine loosing their memories as well. Not to mention how Cairngorm is once again being given a new identity to go by, from Aechmea, and is totally fine with it. That scene was small but once again, the fact that they are fine pretty much erasing what made them who they are is...unnerving. 

So pretty much to sum up this: Once again, everything meant nothing in the end. 

Speaking of Phos...

The third reason: Phos’s miserable fate

Phos, once again, got the short end of the stick. After everything that they’ve done, from trying to save everyone but themselves, to doing what was once seen as cruel for the sake of everyone to finally do something for themselves to go back to wanting to save the others after the bloodlust was gone... to get this ending for themselves.

But wow, what a cruel twist: Phos’s old goal was fulfilled. Thanks to them, the gems don’t have to live in fear of being destroyed or taken or anything. Thanks to Phos, everyone is free. Everyone now is going to be happy for the rest of their existance...at the cost of Phos’s expense.  

Phos lost everything. 

Their body. 

Their sanity. 

Their identity. 

Everything.

What do they get in return?

10,000 years of nothing but their own miserable existence and dark, depressing thoughts.

In the end, everything that Phos experienced not only sent them crashing down to rock bottom: it sent him to the chore of the earth, back out the other side, then back into the earth, in an endless cycle of just constant misery. 

That’s a theme in buddhism, if that’s what I’m recalling right from @rinboz​‘s posts: a cycle of continuous misery. That is clearly embodied here through Phos and Phos will continue to suffer the pain of existing while everyone else got what they wanted in the end, especially Aechmea. 

Speaking of which, I also genuinely want to know if there’s still fans out there who view Aechmea as a good guy for ‘liberating’ Phos, because as far as I see, thanks to him, Phos is now stuck in an even more miserable form of existence. At least before everything, everyone was miserable together with Phos. Sort of. Still better than what we got with this chapter, in my opinion. (Please do share your thoughts, if you do. I promise, this is not an attack. I’m just interested to hear your thoughts, if you’re willing to share)

But now, there’s no there for Phos. And unlike those other instances where Phos was in a situation and someone somewhat saves them like Adamant and Padparadscha once did before, there’s no one there. So unless there’s some Admirabilis hiding around there or if the Gem/lunarians decide to come to them, which I doubt will happen, there’s no one for Phos. No one is coming to help/save them.

Phos will have to suffer all alone. For 10,000 years. Phos is the last existing gem being now...even though technically, they aren’t really a gem anymore. 

Once again, to sum up why I don’t like this chapter nor how the story has progressed: Phos’s suffering meant nothing to them in the end. That’s the other theme I’m trying to hammer in in this post: Everything meant nothing in the end.

I’ve already seen a few fans react to the chapter and I saw one state that if the Lunarians, including the gems, were to come to Phos to pray for them, the poster hopes Phos tells them to “F* off” And you know what, I hope so too. But this revelation has me fearing for what’s going to happen the series, or more specifically, how and when it’ll officially end.

No true happy ending in sight and not exactly for the reasons you think

As always, it’s hard to predict how Ms. Ichikawa is going to end this series. Us fans made many predictions and a good number of them came true, but it’s the ending that eludes us. Some hope for a happy ending for Phos, while many, including myself, predict that it’ll be anything but happy. And now, with this chapter...I think it’s set in stone now.

Last month, in response to someone asking me how I think the series might end, I made a few small predictions. Some for a good ending, a bittersweet ending, and a bad ending.... 

...and it looks like that first sad ending is where the series is heading after all:

Everyone is gone/moved on and Phos stays behind as a lonely, immortal being.

Even though this small prediction was correct, how it’s all playing out was not exactly how I’d envisioned. It’s worse. And what’s making me even more worried is that based off of where the story is headed, my gut feelings are saying that the series ending is near. And it won’t be to anyone’s satisfaction.

Whenever I get invested in a series, other than worrying about how the creators will handle their characters and story, one of my biggest worries is about how the creators handle their ending. I’m truly afraid about what Ms. Ichikawa is planning for this series because I can’t help but fear it’s not going to end well. It’s not the worry that the series will have a sad/bittersweet ending, even though that concern is still there though I’ve accepted the likelihood, but rather I’m worried that the next chapter or so will be the abrupt end to this series. This concern is because of how rushed this chapter felt and I can’t help but worry that Ms. Ichikawa is now rushing to the end of the story. And to be honest, the addition fact that Ms. Ichikawa is going on hiatus is not helping these uneasy feelings. 

I hate being the pessimistic one but what if this happens? What if Ms. Ichikawa decides to end the series here or in the next chapter? What if the next chapter is literally another time skip, with all of the characters that I once cared about just NOT progressing, and Phos continuously being stuck in this immortal and we’re expected to accept this as the ending. Because other than Phos, everyone’s story, from what it looks like, is at their end now. I really hope that doesn’t happen. I’ve seen great series end so terribly too often and I’ve loved this story for so long that I hope that doesn’t happen with this series too. I love this series a lot and it’s characters, even the ones who I don’t think I like as much as I did after this chapter. I hope the series will end nicely... but I don’t think it will.

Back to predictions on how the story will progress: I made a post a few days ago about how I hope the forgotten plot elements will come into play and the fact that Aechmea isn’t omnipresent. More than ever, part of me hopes those elements will come back and have a positive impact for Phos’s story, especially the omnipresent part. But again, I don’t think I’ll hope too much for it because looking at Ms. Ichikawa’s past works... I don’t think they will, at least not in the way I’m hoping for.

Maybe I’m too used to Western (American/European) stories, where the protagonist somehow beats the odds and wins in the end. This isn’t always the case for Eastern stories, especially stories from Japan. They usually end bittersweet and I don’t think Houseki no Kuni will be the exception. I know I’ve said this saying many times before and with each passing chapter, these words become more and more true:

Phos’s suffering is never going to end. 

And unless someone does something to change the course of the story, which I don’t think will ever happen now, Phos is never going to have a happy ending. 

If I could wish for anything, it’d be that this story ends on a satisfying note. I know, I know. It’s foolish to still hope for that it’ll happen, given everything I’ve seen from Ms. Ichikawa before...But still. I don’t want to lose all of the hope that I have left for this series. Even though that hope is nearly diminished, it’s still there.

So please, Ms. Ichikawa. Please give us a satisfying ending for Phos. Please let them go.  If anyone deserves a dignifying conclusion to their story, it’s them.  Let them rest. End their suffering. Please give them the ending they deserve after everything they went through.

You’ll likely won’t though.  

Because this is Phos.

And to be Phos is to constantly suffer.

Well, regardless, I truly hope you’re hiatus goes well, Ms. Ichikawa. Even though you are a cruel troll, your work is still amazing and I applaud you for your story telling and your love to mess with us. I hope you enjoy your time away and when you return, I hope that you’ll continue to give us amazing content and eventually give Phos the ending they deserve. Please. That’s all I want.

I hope you all a nice holiday season, too, or at least try to.

Happy Holidays. 

Can’t wait for 2020 to end.

[razorblade180]

Twin Snowflakes 26: Preparation

[part 1 of 2]

TSF pt25 here! <-

“THANK YOU, PEOPLE OF MANTLE!” Summer yelled, shredding each note of her personal favorite songs. One after another she played to her heart's fill. Each song was more aggressive and brimming with vigor than the last. Summer would’ve played till dawn if she had her way but neither her body or promise to her brother would allow that. It wasn’t time to leave yet but she needed a break.

Summer begrudgingly got herself to get off the stage to let others perform. Their music wasn’t terrible by any means but the other musicians could easily stand to have more practice. A rave audience isn’t hard to please however, so the crowd ate up the talent all the same. A little insulting to her own performance but eh, this wasn’t an actual contest. Summer was happy enough blowing off steam and listening to the beats from behind the stage. Not even she could deny the beats and tempo. Her hips couldn’t help but sway!

From the corner of her eye she could make out a familiar figure keeping an eye on her. “Did Nick tell you to keep an eye on me, Eliza?”

“Not really.” She walked over and poured herself a cup of water. “I was training in the area.”

“Are you saying he had nothing to do with you being here?”

“Oh no, that would be a lie. You know Nick, always negotiating. He really knows how to persuade a person. I wouldn’t be surprised if he could sell a heater to someone living in Vacou. Anyways, he didn’t ask me to stalk you or anything like that. He knew where I’d be and told me if I could swing by for a spell. No harm in that.”

Summer smiled. “Funny. That sounded like you were defending him. Don’t want me getting upset with my own brother?”

“Shut up. It would be a pain if I caused unnecessary controversy in a household. Need I remind you that you both have duties to the school that require your full attention? Frankly I’m glad I arrived. I don’t go to your concerts so my opinion of your performance skills was limited.” Eliza sipped her water, giving Summer’s attire and overall attitude a once over. “Where’s all this when you're getting harassed in the halls?”

“That’s...school is different.”

“Pfft, yeah okay.”

“It is!” Summer said, defensively crossing her arms.

Eliza watched the girl's face soften into the meek and reserved Summer she was used to. To think that’s all it took to shut her down. “I swear you and your brother don’t have a consistent bone in your body. Whatever the case, I don’t really care much as long as you bring your best effort to rehearsal and the live performance.”

Summer squinted. “Not the actual tournament?”

“Hey I don’t participate in the duos. You can bomb that for all I care. But you know, Nick is counting on you to pull your weight. Also it would be pretty annoying if you lost to Max and his asshole know-it-all, Darren. Gods know he’d talk about it until graduation.”

“Was the fight that happened in the school bad?”

Eliza shrugged, “Can’t say. Wasn’t there. He’s always been a thorn to me though so I don’t doubt he made things ugly. He was very rude to Veronica in the principal’s office as well. An act I find inexcusable.”

Summer couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “Look I know you admire her and all that jazz, but I’d bet she didn’t help the situation.”

“My views on her have nothing to do with it!” Eliza huffed. “I would think you off people would be sympathetic to a person like her.”

Summer leaned against a wall. “Call me jaded, but Veronica has a habit of bringing out the worst in people.”

Eliza frowned. “You know her better than I. Tell me, is she the type to lie about being harassed?”

Summer didn’t have to think long, especially after learning more about her in the forest. Then there was Veronica’s sketch journal. Summer still couldn’t make sense of all the scratched out pages. On top of that, Blake’s request made Summer even more uncertain. “No. Veronica’s a piece of work, but she isn’t a liar. She might actually be too honest if you asked me. I’ve never had to deal with Darren personally but Nick’s not a fan by any means.” Summer bit her bottom lip. She couldn’t believe it, did she just defend Veronica’s qualities!? It was only fair. Veronica did almost end up a frozen husk.

“Well it’s good to know we can all agree on at least one thing without fail. So not to rush you but how long are you planning on staying in a place like this?” Eliza asked, watching all the party animals.

“Haha, not your type of crowd?”

“The crowd is fine. I can handle a little noise and rowdiness, but it is technically a school night. I- ah! Summer!?” The girl had taken Eliza by the hand and started pulling her to the dance floor.

“If you keep bringing up assignments 24/7 then all you’re gonna look like is a stick in the mud. Live a little. School sucks!”

“School is important!” Eliza protested.

Summer grabbed Eliza’s other hand and started making them sway side to side, back and forth. The blood rushing to Eliza’s cheeks made Summer giggle. “Awww you know you dig it. I’ll make a deal. Cut loose with me for a few songs and I’ll gladly let you dance me right out the front door. Show me that colorguard rhythm!”

Eliza watched the petite girl actively laugh without reservation. Summer jokingly shimmied towards her and swayed her hips, getting lost in the music. Just how much did this girl go out to rave? She looked like she belonged here! The beat got more intense by the moment with no sign of stopping. With her pride in check, Eliza began to sway steadily, getting into the music.

Summer’s eyes lit up. “Aye!”

“Two songs and then we’re out of here.”

“Works for me! Show me what ya got!” Summer turned up the heat by dragging Eliza deeper into the chaos. She might not be as persuasive as Nick, but Eliza quickly found out Summer was definitely more pushy. Forget the tournament. Eliza was beginning to think they’ll beat her at everything!

xxxxx

“This is crazy. How did I not know about this!?” Nick said, walking down the rainy sidewalk.

Veronica smirked as she held Nick’s hand, allowing rain to pass right through them. “Why would you? I barely have any reason to use my semblance; let alone in the more complex ways.”

“You don’t use it when making clothes?”

“Haha, I’m not entirely sure how it would help. Unless I wanna get out of my clothes and into something new in an instant. Not a real trick to show others. Unless…” she blushed at her lewd teasing, refusing to finish the punchline. “Never mind.”

“Okay?” He had a feeling he knew where that was going but chose not to pull that grenade pin. “Speaking of clothes, that brings up a question. Why aren’t our clothes falling off now?”

“Control. Anything I touch can phase like me. My clothes are touching me, so are you. I can keep it strictly to myself though with control and timing. I can also start it and end it on any spot on my body; which is why we aren’t falling through the street.”

“That sounds hard.”

“Little bit. Really flexing my semblance like a muscle right now. Still, I’ve done harder, like not breaking surface tension.”

Nick did a double take. Did he hear that right? “Surface tension? Like...for water?”

Veronica nodded. “Yeah that’s the one. Well I’m not actually walking on water. It’s more of me beginning to fall through the water with my semblance, and shutting it off quick enough to push me back up just above the surface. Took a lot of practice but I got it most of the time. Waves suck.”

“Don’t you burn through your aura quickly?”

“Well it’s like flicking a switch on and off. Also I’m quick about it; not to mention not fighting anything in the water. I’m bound to fuck up them.”

“Still sounds like an extremely large amount of work and multitasking. You got real talent. I’d get a headache.”

“Says the king of multitasking.” Veronica chuckled, “It’s less thinking and more of reaction; knowing how to feel the shifts to the things connecting you.”

Her explanation was interesting. Veronica had an understanding of her semblance to a complex level though she didn’t fight. And here was Nick, struggling with a candle exercise for a semblance that didn’t interact with physics or molecules. “A reaction huh? Maybe I should try that more often? It might help with-”

“Valerie.”

“What? No my-” His hand was squeezed a little before being brought up to point towards the Schnee gate. Nick’s eyes went wide. Valerie stood by it with her mother’s car, staring just as surprised. “Oh…” Nick said.

The three stood quietly, not prepared in the slightest. Valerie was the most shocked. She was prepared for an awkward conversation with Nick by the door. Not catching him outside in a suit; next to Veronica. Nora, who was in the car, wanted to take initiative but found her lips tucking themselves in.

“Oh boy. Maybe convincing Val to see him was a bad move on my part.” She thought. Ren was gonna have a field day whenever Nora got back home.

Done with the shock, Veronica finally spoke. “Umm I can give you two a minute, if you need it?” All the events that happened tonight made her feel very pleased. Veronica did not want to taint those moments and knew it would be for the best to remove herself from this before she said anything...emotional. She turned to Nick and smiled awkwardly. “I’ll see you inside?”

Nick could only blink while he thought about it. Veronica was a bit quicker to the draw though. “No, no, it’s...clearly you two are in the middle of something. I was just leaving anyways” Val said, a hint of irritation and even a bit of sarcasm crept into her voice. It might not have been that big of a deal but for some reason it made Nick tense up.

“This is only happening because of you.” He said instinctively, catching everyone off guard. “I don’t see how you can be upset about a thing you caused. I did invite you originally.”

“Don’t see how that has to do with anything.” Valerie lied, clearly offended. “You can do what you want.I only came here to-”

“It’s always your terms.” He interjected, grumbling a bit. “You tell me you want space and we’ll see each other at the tournament, but then show when you feel like talking. If I did that you’d be pissed.”

“Hey! I came here to try and smooth things over.”

“Yeah well maybe I don’t want things smoothed over right now? I...I have nothing to say to you right now. We’ll talk at the tournament.”

Valerie let out a subtle gasp. Her brows furrowed and she bit down on her lip harder than she meant to. “Forget it. If you wanna be made then be made. Tournament it is.” Valerie didn’t waste another breath, getting back into the car so it can drive off.”

Veronica was in disbelief. Did that really just happen? In now way did she think the conversation was going to be good, but she at least thought there was going to be one. She might’ve thought this best if it wasn’t for Nick visibly sulking next to her as he started walking her up to the manor. The solemn look on his face did nothing but make her feel bad. Not to mention a little guilty.

“Hey...I know this is a dumb question but are you okay? If I influenced that in any way during dinner, that wasn’t really...what I mean is...”

“I know, and don’t worry. That wasn’t me being caught up in my emotions. I just really want to think about all of this for at least a couple days. Besides, I made a deal with Eliza. I might not keep it if Valerie tries patching things up.”

“You’re plotting on her? That’s...wow. Now I know for sure that you’re pissed.”

Nick rubber the back of neck. “For once I think I’ll get greedy, act the way I want. Does that make sense?”

“Make sense? It’s my language. Fair warning, your best quality is that heart of yours.” She poked his chest. “Keep it safe, or I’ll be the one getting greedy by knocking the optimism back into ya.”

“Oh is that right? Haha, maybe try praying to me first, then I really know you must mean business!” He teases.

Veronica gave a playful shove. “Like I’d know how to start one? I think I’ll stick with the tough love approach.”

“Tough love huh?” Nick opened the front door. His eyes never left the girl as she walked in, seemingly content. Veronica eventually looked back at him and gave a head tilt.

She blinked, “What?”

“Nothing.” He chuckled. Nick was starting to think that just maybe, he understood Veronica’s choices and beliefs a little more than he used to. If he learned anything from tonight it was just how differently they saw the world around them. “Well I guess this is the end of our date. Didn’t go as planned but I’ll admit it, I really liked spending alone time with you.” He said, rubbing the back of his head.

Veronica couldn’t stop herself from letting out an anxious chuckle.“Hehehe, what’s with the sweet talk all of a sudden? Trying to butter me up?”

“No, just being honest with myself. A date should end as well as possible.” Nick stepped towards Veronica and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Eager to not let this moment linger, Nick swiftly left for Summer’s room to see if she was back. Without thinking about it tonight, Nick had left two girls red and speechless. One of them standing in the main hall with a smile growing wide; while the other watched the rain fall during a quiet ride home, frustrated and jaw clenched.

Nora took care to drive slowly. Getting home quickly would only mean Valerie would march to her room. Nora let out a sigh. “Whether it’s me or your father, one of us is gonna make you talk about this. So-”

“What’s there to talk about? I’m upset and he’s upset, because we want different things. So we’re taking a break. Simple as that.” Valerie leaned against the cold glass.

“And what is it exactly that you want?” Nora asked. She was given no answer. Not that she was expecting one. “I love you, but if you don’t know the answer yourself then how can you expect Nick to not upset you? Life is like any sport you play. Gotta know the rules if you wanna do well. Only way to figure that out is knowing yourself.”

“I know myself pretty well.” Valerie huffed.

“Really?” Nora dragged out. “So tell me, do you like Nick, romantically?”

“No.” She said instinctively.

If Val could see Nora’s face then she would’ve been upset that she was rolling her eyes, not believing her daughter. “Okay, but just so you know, taking a break is not what most friends say about another.”

Valerie’s eyes widened. She turned to her mother to see her focused on the road like she hadn’t said a word. Val went back to looking at the window. “Good to know.” Valerie controlled the urge to huff. Talking to Ren might’ve been less painful.

xxxx

Nick walked into Summer’s room to find it sisterless and a little cold. “Guess she’s not home yet.” He closed the door behind him as he went further in. Nick made sure to keep the light off but turned on the heater. A cold room was the last thing this night needed. His chill hadn’t kicked in all this time so Nick had no real reason to worry about Shiva, yet his nerves would feel better actually seeing Summer come home safely. Pulling up a chair to sit in may have been a bit much but he did it anyway. Overbearing or not, Shiva would never be a subject he’d take lightly. Not like he had in the past when he was younger, naive of the danger that thing had. He could his body ache at the thought of it. Pain fades and the body heals, but it also remembers. Not like he needed a reminder. Not when the memories rear their ugliness often in his dreams.

A scroll rang loudly, bringing Nick out of the dark thoughts. He reached in his pocket to see it was in fact Summer who was calling.He wasted no time answering. “Where are you? I thought you’d be back by now?”

“That didn’t sound like hello.” Summer grumbled. “Relax, I'm close by. I actually called to ask for a favor. You’re home right?”

“Yes?”

“Cool. Can you open my window?

Nick walked over to her window and opened it. In the distance he could spot his sister and Eliza outside the gate from the right side. “Done. What-”

“How’d you do that so fast? Were you already in my room!? You aren’t snooping are you!?” She yelled.

“Quiet before you get caught. No, I wasn’t snooping. Pretty sure whatever secrets this room holds is one that would scar me. Though I’m curious about your journal, wherever you hid this time. Perhap under your nightstand?”

“Do you really want to rummage around a young woman's nightstand?” Summer could hear her brother let out an overtop gagging noise. “Grow up.”

“Say it to my face. You better hurry before I decide to close this and watch you hit the glass like a pigeon.”

“Fine, ya baby.” Summer hung up. “Thanks for walking me home, as well as helping me stay dry.” She looked up to see the small dome of water floating over her from Eliza’s magic.

“Exactly what was the plan if I had said no or not shown up at all?”

“Glyphs aren’t just for platforming and dust ya know? Not that it matters. I knew I’d see you tonight.”

Eliza scoffed, “Tah! That confident in your predictions about your brother?”

“Well yes, but that’s not it. It’s not a secret you practice at the pier. It’s also terrible luck on your part you almost shot a captain with a bolt of lightning. One time.”

“W-What!? B-but how would-”

“Is it a Marigold thing to be attracted to my family like a magnet? That captain is my cousin. He says your aim could use work. Bye!” Summer made glyphs to trampoline over the gate and platform through the air and through her window.”

Eliza couldn’t believe it. Why was this her life!? It had to be a joke. Atlas or Mantle, you’re bound to be in Schnee territory. It would’ve been fine if she wasn’t practicing moves to fight one! Now she needed a new training spot. Who knows what they might now. “Damnit, now Nick’s offer is even more to my best interest!”

“Sup bro. How was your date?” The rock n’ roll twin kicked off her shoes and took the black wig off before falling backwards onto her bed.

“Well Valerie was at the front awhile ago.”

Summer sat up. “Okay, that’s not what I expected. Did I miss a fight? No wait, I’m pretty sure I’d hear Veronica scream bloody murder because there’s no way her dress would stay flaw-” her rambling was cut short when Nick suddenly sat beside her and fell on her lap. “Woah. Hey, are you still sick!?”

“No, just tired. The past week has been a little...draining. To be honest I don’t think I even have the energy to shower right now.”

“Well you probably smell better than me right now so I’m not complaining.”

“How was the rave?”

“Fun. Got Eliza to dance a little. The crowd worshipped my performance.” She chuckled.

“What did you sing?”

“Nothing special. A few Linkin Park songs; an experimental original. Oscar thought it would be a good idea to take a few of my journal entries and vent it out through music.”

“Hmm, anything you’ll share to your actual fan base, or me?”

Summer looked at her ceiling to let out a composed sigh. “I don’t think I’m quite ready, or the song for that matter. It and myself are...a work in progress. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just know your fans think you can’t do wrong and there’s no world where I won’t support you. Family and all that.”

“Love you too.” Summer patted his head. “Sorry if I’ve been causing you trouble. Well, more than usual. Tomorrow is a new day.”

“That’s the spirit. Push yourself but not too hard. That’s my territory. Speaking of which, I’ve been racking my brain with ideas. You can talk to Shiva in that headspace whenever you like right?” He felt her hand stop. Nick looked up to see Summer look apprehensive.

“I can...but it’s not a thing I look to do. Plus tonight has been good. I really don’t want that to-”

“Summer, do you trust me?”

Nick’s words were calm and real. Summer didn’t know what he had in mind. It wasn’t like Nick to invite danger. Her eyes looked to the floor to the orange glow of her heater. Like usual it appeared that her brother had already taken strides for her and everyone’s sake. Just how far would he go, ever making herself feel like she’s at a stand still? Maybe tomorrow could start today. Just a little bit.

“What’s this idea of yours?” She said cautiously.

“Nothing too crazy. You’re just gonna take a page out of Veronica’s playbook.”

xxxxx

You would think a person would know what goes on in their head. Unfortunately, that’s hardly ever the case. Summer never got a full understanding of what went on upstairs in her mind. Then again that would only make sense. She was in therapy after all. Though no amount of emotional talking could explain why her headspace imagery was inconsistent at times. A void of nothingness, her own room, those were the usual shapes that took place. However, this time she found herself back at the frozen lake. Going back and triggering an episode must’ve left a lasting impression. At least her trauma brought variety. The only separation from the real place was the ice ceiling and a distinct lack of cold nipping at her skin. Her psyche though, it was definitely feeling something.

She began walking through the white hell of her own making until she found her target, Shiva. The being was skating across the lake like how Summer once did. “Shiva.” Summer called out.

The woman of ice and snow looked over, surprised. She stopped right in the middle of the lake. “Well, well, well, come to properly thank me? You’d be in a grimm’s stomach by now if it wasn’t for me. You and that idiot girl. Tell me, is she in pain from our encounter?”

“I’m not here to thank you or chitchat.” Summer bluntly stated. “This is an in and out thing.”

“I’ll take that as a no then? Pity. I wouldn’t mind seeing her cry and despair. I bet her tears are uglier than yours. Though I'll say that this look you have going on isn’t gross. Honestly it helps to see you better in this place. You’re always so pale when you’re talking to me. Afraid I might hurt you?” A smirk spread across her face. “Oh I do hate you so.”

“Feeling is mutual. I came here to tell you that from this point on things are gonna change.”

“Pfft, heard that before. You’re all talk.”

“Am I?” Summer reached her hand out. Right before her eyes, the shape of a shovel formed. Hiding her surprise, she focused on Shiva’s own shock. “My mind, my rules. If I can subconsciously make this hell then I can shape it to an extent. Summer tossed the shovel at Shiva for her to catch. “Keep that safe for me.” Summer’s body began to slowly fade from this space.

“And what exactly is this for?”

“Your grave. Feel free to dig it yourself.” Her final words before disappearing completely while witnessing a smug smirk vanish before her eyes. Right as she faded, Summer could hear one last remark.

“We’ll see who buries who.”

Summer opened her eyes to find herself back in her room. Good, she hadn’t moved an inch. “Well I’ve thoroughly pissed her off, but it actually felt good to be the one harassing her. Thank Ni- huh?” Summer failed to realize she’s been talking to herself. Nick was fast asleep already! “Unbelievable. What if I would’ve messed up?”

“Zzzzzz.”

“Quite the convincing answer.” Summer returned to rubbing his head. He felt a little warm but nothing serious. Taking breaks needed to be at the top of his list from now on. Only way that would happen is if things weren’t hectic. It was time to step up. “I’ll do right by you. I promise. Just...give me a little more time.”

Her eyes became heavy. It appears the day’s events weighed on her more than she realized. Both twins fell into slumber there for the entire night, finally getting some rest.

[okurrroye]

Ok all I wanted was to laugh about John getting curb stomped but the Ayo tag is a fucking nightmare like wow

Disclaimer I have shit memory so if I say something that doesn’t add up fact wise let me know. But I’m pissed off so here we go-

(FYI all of your opinions should be kept to yourself, so don’t comment if you fail to read my entire post so thanks)

I know this has been discussed, but there are things that have been left out of the argument, or hasn’t even been considered when it comes to the big I speak no I see no I hear no evil scene y’all making it out to be of Ayo disarming Bucky. So gather around here’s the part where you hear me out without scrolling off regardless of your stance on the situation, because I’m here for all opinions afterwards.

First off I can’t even understand why this is controversial at all considering the history that led to this moment. Oh wait I lied it’s literally because either you have your head to far up Bucky’s ass or because he’s a man or because he’s white, or because *ding ding ding * all of the above. And now you’re mad because how dare this black bitch have the nerve-the audacity to do that to poor little old Bucky (now insert the part where you either scroll off, or put your two unwanted cents in before I finish). And this is where you all want to use the empty ass belief that ThE aRm Is A gIfT, or empty ass excuse tHaT’s HiS aRm. Also someone else pointed out well if they didn’t trust him than they shouldn’t have given it to him in the first place. Which yes all are true, but also not at the same time. *Gasp* yes somethings can not be one or other, because ✨ grey area ✨.

Now I don’t know what world you’re living in where you think a gift can not be taken back, and I use the term gift loosely because you can’t even call it that honestly. Because in reality the whole reason he has the arm in the first place is because he needed a new one for infinity war like duh, why have crap heap that’s easily damageable when they can make an indestructible one, to live or not to live like it’s not a hard choice. Then he disappeared for five years so it would be kinda difficult to get an arm back that doesn’t exist anymore. But by the time everyone came back I think an arm was at the bottom of their to do list, or not to mention the fact well it’s already been made, and you probably don’t know how to properly function without both arms yet and can’t afford a normal one yourself so why not just keep it instead of wasting all the time, effort, and resources of making it, but idk I guess that’s a stretch. But since people likes using the gift excuse guess what, a gift is just something you couldn’t afford to do yourself so someone else was kind enough to do it for you (^^^), but in every other since of the word it really belongs to them not you. So let’s give an example shall we, now your parent(s) gave you something you wanted (shit someone else may have bought it for you) but you fucked around and got in trouble and now you’re grounded. Now depending on your parent(s) you’ll either get your ass beat or your shit will get confiscated, or both if you fuck up enough. Now do you think you have any right to say what they can or can’t do? -Yeah I didn’t think so and if you thought otherwise well here comes round two of another ass whopping or the first one if you’re lucky. Or on rare occasions some (white) kids don’t get physically disciplined, but you’re still going to pay the price regardless.

So same situation (yes I know I can’t compare an amputees arm to an object, but I only say that because Bucky is more than that, more than just a arm) but also very much not because in Bucky’s and Ayo’s situation it is much-MUCH worse obviously, but apparently it’s not obvious considering that there’s a debate in the first place. Or in other words you think Bucky’s feelings-FEELINGS are more important then Ayo’s and Wakanda the truth. Which is you’re lucky that it was only his feelings that got hurt, because she (and Yama) could have killed him and everyone else in that room easily so let’s all thank Ayo (and Yama) for her kindness and mercy first and foremost, also for not taking back both the arm and the shield completely. Because that arm and shield is Wakandan property ok so let’s get that straight, so she had every right to take it if she wanted to-whenever or wherever (which also falls into the part where the Dora does has jurisdiction there, and almost anywhere else since most likely every country wants or have vibranium now, and because Wakanda could literally flatten the whole world so yeah they’re going to have a legal pass because who’s gonna want to fuck with them) but she didn’t key word didn’t which should’ve been a clue they would never take the arm or shield back because he is disabled considering even after what Bucky (& John) did.

Not only is it the property of Wakanda but it’s from the only place that was willing, and did help Bucky in every way a person could be helped literally saving this man physically, mentally, and emotionally- like please. Specifically the royal family themselves firsthand which need I remind you is related to the former King that was killed by the man that Bucky escaped from prison without discussing it with them first. That same King, family, and country that Ayo is from, loves, and is to serve and protect. That she will-IS sacrificing and dedicates her life to...she failed them all-failed herself when T’Chaka was murdered like bruh- like that should speak for it self like that is the ultimate betrayal like he literally spat in their fucking face, especially Ayo’s considering she’s the one who gave Bucky back his mind, his freedom and after all that after everything they did for him they still didn’t trust him, and betrayed him by not telling him he had a fail safe in his arm?! Yeah-no big sike, anyone with a brain knows prosthetics because here’s the real kicker ITS NOT HIS ARM thus it’s O M G...removable. Yes you read that correctly r-e-m-o-v-a-b-l-e. Now put that together with the fact that Ayo is highly skilled and an overall badass I don’t think it would be that hard for her to fucking figure out how to dislocate it with a few pressure points considering that’s literally the whole point of striking a pressure point (if he still had his arm then that hit would’ve stopped it from working, but since it’s fake that mf popped right off). Pressure points are used to disable someone, thus Ayo disabling a disabled by disarming his arm to deescalate the situation go figure. It wasn’t a fail safe it’s just skill and common sense that everyone failed to have in the moment and used as a last resort because oh no Bucky’s face, like boo fucking hoo he did it to himself by breaking their trust first, and defending that bitch. Instead of him waiting for the Dora to have Zemo in custody first, what did Bucky do instead? He had the fucking audacity (and that’s how you use the word) to use that same arm against Ayo, against Wakanda. That speaks volumes considering out of respect as a friend or whatever close bond they have (because they definitely have a connection after what they went through together) Ayo still gave him a warning, and time to do what he had to do before they came for Zemo’s ass. Let it be known she didn’t have to do that at all because her loyalty is to and should be to her country first but in those eight hours it wasn’t, it was in the trust of their friendship so therefore she literally was endangering her well being by giving Bucky just that courtesy, and I don’t think you all consider her position in that predicament and thanks to Bucky she could’ve gotten her status revoked, thrown in jail, or worse killed for disobeying orders because let’s not forget Chadwick unfortunately has passed away, and thus it’s a fact that T’Challa is no longer in charge since Marvel will respect that with tampering with his character, so I don’t want to hear she would’ve been just fine because we’ve seen how the royal counsel has a big say on what goes and doesn’t go considering they did not give a single fuck about their own next of kin, Erik who has every right as them, but would have easily killed him just because he was an ‘outsider’ if T’Challa didn’t speak up for him (I mean they abandoned him while leaving him to fend for himself, killed his father and covered it up so wouldn’t put it past them). So if you think when Ayo fucked up again about retrieving Zemo because she trusted, and helped this outsider over her own kind she definitely would’ve been considered a traitor and be punished for her actions.

Can you imagine the hurt, and betrayal they felt? No apparently not, because it’s all about how he’s disabled and how could she take his arm (like uh she literally left it, and the shield for them to keep, and it’s not like he would’ve died without it to begin with unlike Bucky who was willing to sacrifice Ayo’s entire livelihood) when the fact that disabled people say constantly for others to stop putting their disabilities before them, and how they’re just as capable as everyone else. “They are a someone with a disability, not someone who is disabled,” which is absolutely true, because they’re more than that but everyone seems to forget that all of sudden when Ayo detaches Bucky’s arm (I wonder why) and all of sudden he doesn’t have control of his own body like what- he literally used his entire body nonbrainwashed to stab them in the back like miss me with that bs. Him spending five seconds without his arm doesn’t compare especially since they forgave him without even at least an apology at that.

Detaching his arm was a warning that he needed to learn, because they were letting him know, and I emphasize that that arm does not belong to him so how he dare try to use it against the people who gave it to him after they fed, housed, and freed him when no one else could, or would when he’s done nothing in return while as a repayment was being a fucking ingrate. All the while facing no consequences, not even the need for a fucking bandaid *mic drop*.

[minghaocouture]

Pairing: Templar!Kim Mingyu x Elf Mage!Reader Genre: Dragon Age AU, enemies (?) to lovers, angst, established universe WC: 5k+ Warning: magical lobotomy (through branding), language

A/N: So this is for @merakiiverse job au collab! I’ve been wanting to write a Dragon Age au for like...ever, and this just gave me the push I needed. So there are some terms from the game used in the fic but I did my best to explain them without taking away from the story. Also really glad i finished this before i got sick lol. 

“Come on wake up!” You groaned, slapping away the hands of your best friend as he tried to shake you awake. You had gotten to sleep pretty late last night, having snuck into the circle library to do a bit more reading after hours so you were trying to bask in the last few minutes of sleep before your lessons today. 

You heard a loud groan from the younger male before everything seemed to turn upside down and your frame was sent tumbling to the stone floor of the Apprentice Quarters with a loud thud and a shriek. Your eyes snapping open to glare at your dear friend Chan with his hands still gripping the mattress that he had just thrown you from. 

Quickly you shoved your palms against the chilled stone flooring to push yourself up, as the male laughed hysterically and dropped the mattress back onto the simple wooden frame of your bottom bunk. 

“Chan, I want you to remember that we are trapped in this tower together for the rest of our lives. So I will be getting you back for this.” You muttered angrily as you brushed off your scratchy white sleeping robes that the circle had provided for you. Fueled by frustration, you quickly fixed up your bed so that the senior enchanters wouldn’t be angry with you for making a mess. 

“Hey come on, don’t be like that!” He quickly exclaimed, offering you some assistance with fixing your bed if only so he could get on your good side once again. It’s usually what he would do to try and get on your good side, things like taking your cleaning duties or distracting the templars so you can sneak into the libraries at night. “I woke you up for a reason!”

“And what would that be?”

“They brought in new templars, fresh new faces for us to make fun of!” He made a good point. During your extended stay in the circle Chan and you had taken to picking at the Templars that were assigned to ‘guard’ the tower, well the Templars that wouldn’t immediately attack or detain you for your teasings. You shuddered as you remembered being thrown into the cramped cell that was used for solitary confinement. 

“How many this time?” You questioned, pulling your daily robes from the chest at the foot of the bunk beds that you and Chan shared. You swiftly stripped yourself of the uncomfortable white material of your night robes and slipped on the navy blue skirt, once again curious as to why the skirts had such delicate embroidery on the hem if they were simply to be given to mages. Maybe it was something to make your people think they were in a higher position than they were, either that or a small ‘oh here are some pretty robes, we definitely consider mages people!’ kind of thing. You weren’t too sure. 

Chan took a seat on the bed as you tied the skirt to fit your waist, he wasn’t bothered by your disrobing at this point. After all, the two of you had been in this tower since you were children and it wasn’t like the tower offered much privacy for any of the apprentices. If you wanted that you would have to pass your harrowing, only then would you receive private quarters.

You struggled with your skirt for a moment, it being far too big for you, but it wasn’t like they made new robes for every apprentice; everything you owned was a hand me down from either a senior enchanter or...a tranquil. 

“There were four of them, they all looked like they came right from training too. No old farts this time,” He explained, lounging on your too thin mattress as you slipped the top piece on, the long sleeves and thick fabric felt just as suffocating as it did every day, and it also continued to show your status as a lower being in the eyes of these people. The small gold trim wasn’t as nice as it was on the human’s robes, and you were sure that was the point. It was something that looked nice, but not as nice as the human mages robes that Chan wore. It wasn’t enough that your mage abilities make you a lesser being but your elven blood as well, you were certain that the Maker had a sense of humor when he made you. 

With practiced ease you tied the laces of your sleeves around your wrists before working on the clasps of your belts. It was a constricting and suffocating outfit that made you feel quite claustrophobic at times. As if the robes were just as bad as the tower itself.

“Well, I guess let’s go check them out. Gotta let these newbies know that not all mages are just gonna let them walk over us.” You tried to seem optimistic but after being in this tower for almost 16 years, it was a little harder to force that smile sometimes. Which was why you were grateful you had Chan with you, the two of you looked out for each other no matter what happened.

He hopped off of your bed and took a firm grasp on your wrist before pulling you out of the shared apprentice chambers, ignoring the strange looks from the templars and other apprentices as the two of you dashed into the hallway on the first floor of your prison. 

The two of you peered around the corner into the entrance hall as you watched the initiates be inducted by Knight Commander Greagoir, the head of your captors, he was telling them all about their duty to the citizens of Ferelden and the Chantry, all that nonsense. It was basically just propoganda to make these people feel like they had the right to place themselves above you.

The new initiates weren’t too impressive, once again all humans of course, because the precious Chantry couldn’t trust elves such as yourself to become Templars. Most likely because elves would be more likely to opposed the confining of people just for circumstances of their birth, at least the ones who weren’t already brain washed into believing the Chantry’s inane teachings. That thought always reminded you that even if you weren’t trapped in this tower, you would simply be in an alienage in one of the many towns around Ferelden, another prison. Elves simply weren’t welcomed or free anywhere, at least not in a human society. There were surprisingly three women and only one male this time, which was abnormal because women seemed to stray more towards becoming Chantry sisters than Templars. So that was interesting, you’d have to figure out their names. The only interesting thing about the male was his ridiculous height. He looked almost tall enough to be a member of the Qunari, all he was missing was the horns, or at least you assumed since you had never seen a Qunari in real life. 

If only you knew what would follow this day.

***

“You know, you aren’t supposed to be in the library after lights out.” 

You almost screamed in surprise at the unfamiliar voice. You knew the schedule for the Templars and usually you were able to skirt around and hide whenever it was time for their rounds to reach the libraries. Apparently tonight was determined to be different. Glancing up from your book you flashed the Templar a sheepish smile, instantly recognizing this man as one of the new initiates whose name you had yet to learn. It wasn’t exactly...forbidden but initiates were definitely encouraged to not give their name to the mages or learn the names of the mages either, it was probably so they didn’t connect that you were real living beings and develop a conscience. 

“You wouldn’t believe me if I said I had an incurable illness that causes me to sleep walk around the tower, would you?” You were likely to be in deep shit because of this. Knowing how new recruits were, usually the super brown nosing type, they wanted to make superiors happy so that they could get promotions. Unfortunately for you, that usually meant getting mages into trouble.

Knowing this was probably why you were so shocked to hear the giant male snort, in an attempt to hold back a laugh. In all the years of living here, you hadn’t met a Templar who actually laughed at your jokes or smiled at you...like this male was doing right now. He glanced over his shoulder looking towards the opening in the shelves that hid the two of you from view. This library was almost perfect for hiding, the rows were like their own little hallways with bookshelves that almost reached the ceiling which was perfect for blocking the light of your candle when you were here at night. He must be checking to make sure that none of his co-workers had entered the library after him. 

Soon his attention was back to you, a small boyish smirk on his faces as he spoke. “Well I suppose I’d ask you to tell me about this terrible illness, is it contagious? I’m not sure the other mages would like it if I was roaming the halls in my sleep.” 

You were once again dumbfounded by this human. You wouldn’t expect him to think about what would and wouldn’t upset the mages, usually the Templars just did what they wished with no regard for those they were meant to be watching over. 

“No, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t like that. Lucky for you, I was born with it just like my hideous magic.” You didn’t truly believe that your magic was horrible. If everything was done by the Maker for a reason, then so were mages! People were just taking Andraste’s “Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him,” thing a bit too far. 

“I don’t think your magic is horrible. It’s a gift from the Maker! The Maker doesn’t give bad gifts,” He confessed, quite a controversial opinion for a Templar to have. With one more glance over his shoulder to make sure that the two of you were still alone, he pulled out the chair across from you and took a seat.

“I’m Mingyu. What’s your name?” 

***

After that fateful night in the library, Mingyu and you kept in contact but only in the dead of night and only when he was scheduled to patrol the first floor library. Tonight was one such night.

“Chan is getting suspicious, ya know?” You mentioned, laughing softly from your seat at the table the two of you frequented. He raised a brow at you and tilted his head slightly, his lips jutting out in a small pout. He honestly looked pretty adorable like that, nothing like the fearsome Templar act he had to put on during the day. 

“He thinks I’m shaking up with another apprentice and not telling him.” 

“Imagine the look on his face if he knew you were just hanging out with me.” Mingyu retorted, going to rest his cheek on his palm only to remember that he was wearing his gaudy templar armor and deciding against it. This caused him to pout more and for you to laugh, making sure to keep your volume down so you weren’t caught by anyone else patrolling the area.

A silence fell over the two of you as your laughter subsided. It was here where the two of you were illuminated only by candlelight that you felt safe. That was something you weren’t used to feeling. In the Circle, there was a constant need to watch your back and be on your guard just in case some random Templar got pissy because you ‘looked at them funny’. It was a struggle for survival.

These nights were different though. You could almost imagine that you weren’t locked inside this tower you could dream about possibly being free and in the outside world that you vaguely remembered. Hell, how long had it been since you had seen the sun?

"How long have you been in the Tower?" 

The question was innocent enough, but it definitely threw you off guard. It wasn't something you liked to think about often. It had been so many years ago and it wasn’t exactly a...pleasant memory.

"It's been...I think about 17 years almost? I developed my magic when I was around 6 years old and my mother was very devout. So she turned me into the chantry, saying that the Maker had frowned upon her and her family by giving them a Mage for a daughter." It hurt a lot thinking back on the day that your mother had abandoned you. Her pleas to the Chantry mothers, begging them to take you as she also begged for the Maker's forgiveness. Thinking she had obviously done something wrong if she had given birth to a mage. 

You watched a frown set it self onto his face, obviously not having expected to hear such a thing. Most parents went so far as to hide their children from the Chantry, making them apostates, illegal mages, so that they wouldn't lose their precious bundles of joy. Just like Chan's parents. They had fought tooth and nail to keep him when the Templars came, it even cost them their lives. Chan didn't like talking about it but you knew that he still had frequent nightmares about that horrible day.

"What about you?" You questioned, diverting the attention from your situation and onto Mingyu. "Why did you become a Templar? I'm sure being a regular knight would have been just as nice, if not easier. At least knights aren’t also stuck inside the Circle tower." It may not have been a prison to the Templars, but they were still trapped inside these halls as well. Most weren’t really able to leave either unless they were going to visit their families, and even then that was rare.

He chuckled dryly at your words and shook his head.

"Something we have in common, I suppose. My family is also very devout, very deep into the teachings of the Chantry. All the men end up becoming Templars if they can. It's in our blood. So of course, as soon as I was old enough to hold a sword I was sent off to training to try and become the best Templar the Kim line had ever seen." The look on his face was one of melancholy, one that you recognized as a look that you had seen on other mages. The look of someone trapped in their own fate.

"Guess we're...kinda in the same boat, huh?" You gently nudged his arm that rested on the table with one of your fist. It was a small gesture, but one with meaning for both of you. Reaching out he gently, or as gently as he could while wearing full plate mail, took your extended hand in his own. The cold metal was a stark contrast against your heated skin, causing you to shiver lightly. He gave a small squeeze and a tiny smile made it’s way onto his face, as if he had been comforted by your words. 

You felt your heart stutter for a moment, watching the features of his face in the candle light. It was still for a moment before he released you hand and stood from his chair. 

"I should get back to my patrols before any other the others get suspicious. I'll leave a note in our spot when we can meet up again."

You were moments away from responding but stopped short as he leaned down and pressed his lips softly against your forehead. You were stunned still and silent as you watched him pull away, smiling at you once again, before slipping off into the night. 

Your heart pounded in your chest as you stared after him in shock. Your face flushed with heat, and you knew that Kim Mingyu would be the death of you at this rate.

***

"I hope this doesn't offend you but...what is so bad about being made Tranquil?" 

You winced slightly at his words, the thoughts of the Tranquil always frightened you. Of course, being a Chantry boy, he had been told from a young age that being made Tranquil was a mercy for mages. Because if you were Tranquil then at least you were alive. It was all a lode of rubbish. Instead of just answering his question, you decided to ask one of your own.

"Do you know Owain? The Tranquil who runs the Circle stock room?" He nodded slowly, unsure of where exactly you were going. "I arrived at the tower before he was turned. He was a kind man who took me under his wing and helped me adjust to life at the tower. I was very young and so very scared, but Owain had basically turned into a father figure for me. I cared for him so much." You felt tears prick at your eyes, threatening to spill over as you recalled the man you once knew. 

"One morning, a few years after Chan had been sent here. I had to have been around 11, well we woke to find Owain standing in front of the stock room just like he does now. Only he was no longer the kind, father figure I had grown to love. He was so cold, lifeless. Being made Tranquil isn't a mercy to mages, it's taking every part of them that makes them who they are and ripping it away." You tried to keep quiet, but the more you spoke the more anger and fear bubbled in your guts. You had barely even registered that you had begun crying.

"You become a lifeless husk that holds the shape of who you used to be."

You couldn't bring yourself to look up from the table, to watch the emotions that were surely playing out on his face as he watched you cry. You were surprised at how silently he had moved, because you were soon pulled to stand and held tightly against his armored chest. It wasn't too comfortable because of the plate mail he constantly wore, the metal poking into your skin and it reminded you that while this embrace was comforting...it was also dangerous. Against your better judgement, your arms quickly wrapped around him and pulled him closer as you tried your best to keep your cries quiet. As you sobbed you heard him whisper soft nothings to you, but one stood out from the rest.

A promise that he would never let you be made Tranquil.

***

It wasn't long before those soft forehead kisses from before became kisses of passion. Soon you didn't need the candle light as your guide as you followed the curves of his body under his armor. Things changed quickly, and before you knew it two years had passed and you were hopelessly in love with Kim Mingyu. Something that should have never come to pass.

You were certain that at least First Enchanter Irving knew, he somehow knew everything that happened in the Circle Tower, and while you weren't a very religious woman, you found yourself praying to the Maker that Knight Commander Greagoir was still clueless. Unfortunately the one person you wanted to talk to about this was the person you were most determined to keep in the dark. 

Lee Chan, your best friend.

"You should tell him." Mingyu, gently caressed your cheek, his gloves had been taken off long ago as the two of you lounged in your usual spot in the library. Your meetings had gotten farther and fewer between as he rose in the ranks of the knights and you stayed a simple apprentice. 

If you were being honest you were a bit worried about that as well, but Mingyu assured you that it was nothing to be concerned about. 

“Oh sure, that’ll go well. I can picture it now. ‘Hey Chan, you know the Templars who watch our every move and are sometimes ordered to strip us of our entire sense of self, yeah I’m in love with one of them. The tall lanky one that has been trying to joke with you, yeah the one you complain about all the time that’s him’.” You chuckled to yourself as you thought about his reaction to that, and not really realizing what you had just admitted. Not until you glanced over at Mingyu and found him staring at you dumbfounded. 

“You love me?”

You froze, like a A million thoughts raced through your head, all of the best and worst possible outcomes. What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if this was just fooling around? What if he said he could never love an elf and he had just been using you? What if, what if?! Your heart thudded loudly inside your chest as you stared at him, unable to enunciate the way he made you feel.

Luckily for you all of those what ifs were cut off as his hand grasped the back of your neck and pulled you into a kiss filled with such fire that you could almost feel yourself being burned. Everything he wanted to say was trapped inside this kiss, you weren’t alone with your feelings and this kiss told you all you needed to know and more. 

After a string of long, intense kisses that you were almost certain would lead to another round of light touches and soft moans, he pulled away. His forehead pressed against your own and a large almost blinding smile was plastered on his face.

“I love you too.”

***

You stared at the small flame of your candle in silence, he was late. Usually he was exactly on time, never early and definitely never late. It was too dangerous otherwise. Your stomach was in knots at the thought of what could possibly be keeping him. That’s when you heard the sound of armor clanking against the stone flooring, almost like the person was running. Since you weren’t entirely sure it was him, you quickly blew out your candle and slid under the table to hide. 

The footsteps got closer and your heartbeat seemed to be almost as loud as the steps themselves. You only relaxed at the small call of your name. The familiar voice had you out from under the table in record time.

“You scared the daylights out of me Mingyu, I was worried something had happened.” You confessed, using a small bit of your magic to light the candle’s flame once again. The light gave way to the terrified look on his face, streaks of tears stained his cheeks, and you found yourself running to his side to wipe away the fresh batch that was threatening to spill out.

“Mingyu, baby what’s wrong?” You whispered, doing your best to comfort him by taking his hand in your free one and using the other to gently caress his cheek.

“We need to go. The Phylactery chamber, we need to find yours. I need to get you out of here.” His deep voice cracked as he tried his best to control his tears. He looked so frightened and pale even, despite his tanned skin. Your heart sunk as you thought of your Phalactery, the vial of blood that had been taken from you when you arrived and was stored inside a chamber with all of the other apprentice’s. It was the templar’s way of tracking you if you had ever escaped, and was the biggest reason you had never attempted to escape the circle.

What he was suggesting was crazy though, there was no way the two of you would be able to storm the Phalactery chamber, there were two locks and it required a fully realized enchanter to unlock one of them and you...had yet to be called for your Harrowing. So you tried to console him. 

“Baby, what are you talking about? You know we can’t do something that crazy. If we get caught you’ll be kicked out of the order or worse, sent somewhere like Aeonar. Why are you ev-”

“They want to make you tranquil.” 

Your heart stopped at his confession, eyes going wide as your blood chilled within your veins. Subconsciously you took a step away from him in disbelief, you didn’t question the legitimacy of his words because you knew for certain that he wouldn’t lie to you like that. Not when he knew your fear of being made Tranquil. You watched as he stared helplessly at you and began speaking once more.

“Knight Commander Greagoir thinks that...he thinks that you might be a blood mage. Even suggesting that you- that what we have is because of a demon’s influence.” He took a step forward to close the distance between the two of you, taking your hand back into his own. He liked holding your hand, he had said in the past, it made him feel loved so very loved.

“I know it’s not. I tried to talk to him but he...he wants me to perform the rite. Which is why we have to get you out of here!” 

Your mind seemed to be going a million miles per hour but also seemed to stop all at once. Your limbs had gone numb as you stared blankly at the floor in terror, you weren’t sure what to do. If you ran on your own then they would just send Templars to find you and with your phylactery, it would be quick work and both you and Mingyu would end up dead. If you followed Mingyu’s plan, you would most likely be caught and turned Tranquil anyway only with this route he would also be punished for his crimes. Lastly, If you stayed, you would be made tranquil at the hands of the man you loved. There was no winning in this situation, there was never a winning choice for a mage.

You pulled your hand from his grasp, causing a small pained sound to leave his lips, breaking your heart as it did so. 

“You have to do it…”

“Y/N no! We talked about this I won-”

“We don’t have any other choice!” You cursed yourself after your outburst, though at this point you weren’t sure you could get into anymore trouble. “If you got caught you would never be able to see Minseo or your parents again!” You had spoken of his family in great detail before, and you couldn’t bear to know that he would never see them again just because of his attachment to you. 

You didn’t want to be made Tranquil, but you also didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. This was the only option where at least one of you would be able to keep living freely.

Thinking about the fact that your days were now numbered scared you, the numb feeling from before seemed to linger but you couldn’t find it in yourself to cry. Not now, not when you had to seem like you were certain of your decision. He needed that from you.

So you swallowed your terror and gently cupped his cheeks in your hands.

“You have to do this Mingyu. There isn’t any way of getting out of this. Not that will actually work.” You muttered, voice soft as you kept eye contact with the male. You felt his hands reach up and rest over your own, and took solace in the fact that what the two of you felt was real. At least for a little while longer. 

“If it’s you...it’s okay.”

You had never lied to Mingyu before, but...this seemed like a good time to start.

***

The grip on your forearms was sure to form bruises, but at least after this you wouldn’t feel them. 

You stared before you as the branding rod held in Mingyu’s tight grip lingered over the open flame, making sure that the metal would be hot enough to etch itself into your skin. 

You couldn’t stop the tears that fell from your eyes, and you had sure tried. You knew that seeing you cry could cause Mingyu to hesitate, falter or even flat out refuse the order which would make this all for naught. At that moment, you felt so hopeless. Everything you had worked for, everything you had lived for would be coming to an end. All because of that simple, unassuming brand that your lover held. 

At the command of Greagoir, he moved the brand away from the flame and stepped towards you. Reciting the Chant of Light as he did so. It was supposed to bring comfort to the mages and remind them that this was the Maker’s will, you found the words mocking even coming from Mingyu’s lips.

“Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him.” His voice strained as he spoke the Chant of Light, it broke your heart to hear him in such pain. His grip on the haft was so tight that you were almost certain that the metal of the rod would break.

“Foul and corrupt are they who have taken his gift, and turned it against his children.” His armored footsteps echoed against the stone flooring. Tears threatening to spill as he stepped closer to you. You felt the grip on your arms tighten as his fellow templars held you in place. 

“Remember, that...that this is a mercy.” 

With those last broken words escaping him, he lifted the sunburst brand and held it above your forehead. You saw the heartbreak burning in his eyes, and he hesitated refusing to move the brand any closer to your forehead. 

Your eyes met his and watched as he desperately tried to keep his composure. You forced a small pained smile onto your face, and that seemed to be the only thing he needed. Not a second later, the metal pressed against your forehead and sparks of blue lyrium seemed to burst forth as the sunburst brand stripped away every bit of emotion you had to replace you with a husk that could no longer connect to the fade, to magic. A husk with free will but a husk nonetheless. 

“I’m sorry.”

[arkus-rhapsode]

MHA 280 Discussion: Did Kirishima Steal Mina’s Spotlight?

So, as you can all tell from this title, chapter 280 of My Hero Academia has debuted and has had some “mixed” feedback. Most of it revolving around the instance of Mina seemingly being set up as the person who was going to deliver the final dosage of anesthetic to Gigantomachia, but was instead saved by Kirishima, who actually finished the beast off.

Now as I said, this moment has been mixed, many people like it and see it as a great character opportunity for Kirishima as he finally comes full circle from the first time he froze up meeting Gigantomachia. While others see this as Horikoshi taking a potentially cool female character finally get a spotlight moment but then undermined.

Personally had to sit on this for awhile and think about how I felt about this. Mainly because I thought that this was good, but not sure how to feel about Mina being literally pushed aside. However after sometime I sorta found myself more okay with this.

Now if you want my most raw opinion, I do believe the idea of it at least being Mina’s vial used to put Giganto to sleep by Kirishima was the best possible way to handle this situation Hori wanted to tell. As it doesn’t totally erase Mina as a contributor. However upon revisiting chapter 280 and chapter 279, I believe I came up with a conclusion to my feelings on this moment.

But before I elaborate, I’d like to revisit the end of chapter 279, which built these expectations of Mina getting the big damn spotlight.

If you look at chapter 279′s ending page, it does set up Mina as being important and will likely be the to carry us into the next chapter. However, there is no defining text that indicates that she is the central hope. Mt Lady’s dialogue could apply to any able-bodied UA student at the time. As well as the structure of the page pushes Mina into the bottom.

This is not some big one full page character portrait of the one who will be central hope, but rather Mina is placed in the last panel at the bottom of the page with little narration caption that makes it seem as if she is the most important. In fact, with the way the chapter just seems to end right there, it makes it appear that Mina is more of a convenience.

Now regardless of this, there is no denying that this created an expectation by the audience to see Mina do something. Especially since the honor of a color page was devoted to Mina. Similarly, the last character centric color cover page we got was Miruko the same chapter she was the one to end on shattering Shigaraki’s tube.

And Horikoshi does follow through on this with Mina seemingly focused om as the one so close to doing throwing the vial into Gigantomachia’s mouth.

Even bothering to hone in on Mina’s own internal struggles while thinking of Midnight and then shedding her armor. Only for her to realize who Gigantomachia is and then fold because of previous trauma from the first time the met.

Now we must remember what this means for both Kirishima and Mina. As the two were both present of meeting Gigantomachia as young teens and it left an impression on both. However, if we recall the Kirishima’s flashback, it was Mina who took the initiative to protect people from Gigantomachia while Kirishima couldn’t muster himself to intervene.

But now, its the reverse, Mina is the one unable to follow through while Kirishima is the one to do this.

Now, before I cover what this means for Mina, I want to say that this is good character writing. And essentially rounds out Kirishima’s arc. The villain who was the sole root of him seconded guessing his decision to become a hero is now the person who he is standing up to.

It once again is an example of Horikoshi giving a character, no matter how minor a moment. But the root cause of the discourse on this chapter is the fact this was not a moment for Mina. Regardless if Kirishima was well written, does that make it bad writing when it comes to Mina?

Well as I observed, I think there was an expectation built by the audience, but not one that would seem like they were cheated out of the moment. I do believe we saw a “bait and switch.” People expected it to be Mina only to misdirect you and have it be Kirishima, however, outside of the color page, I can’t really say there was spotlight put on Mina beyond her conveniently being the closest person. And I think that’s where a lot of my issues come with, because I read this week to week.

Now as previously stated, chapter 279 just kind ends. And as I read that last week I was like, “that’s it?” Like it almost seemed a rather odd place to cut it off at. There was no big end cap to this chapter. It almost had felt like that chapters 279 and 280 were actually suppose to be one big chapter. but had a pause put inbetween them.

And when read the two chapters together, they actually flowed much better. Treating it as one big chapter. with the focus going from the group of young heroes to Mina. Which actually is pretty clever as Mina is the one who gives the last bit of interpersonal connection with Momo when she tells her about looking forward to ending this.

And while this definitely made me like Kirishima saving Mina in 280 more, What I mainly drew from this was Mina never really had a spotlight to steal. As melodramatic as that might sound. If this whole excursion between chapter 279 and 280 was anything, it was one big relay race. With the baton passing off to other characters as they all worked to put down Gigantomachia. Everyone contributed, it was just Kirishima who pushed it across the finish line.

Now lets face it, most tend to equate the victory with the one who did finally throw it in rather than the group effort. And from a storytelling perspective, it had to be either Kirishima or Mina, their the only kid characters who would have an emotional victory putting down Gigantomachia. If it was someone like Kaminari, it be cool he stopped the deadly force, but he doesn’t know Gigantomachia. He doesn’t he a personal stake beyond, “big bad villain that I’m obligated to stop.” Which would not be as powerful.

Especially seeing as Gigantomachia as a villain is just this massive force that you can’t just take a couple of characters to fight against him, Hori used everyone in UA. The final “punch” was just delivered by someone who would benefit from a character background standpoint to do some.

But its controversy also lies in the disproportionate amount of times it seems the female heroes don’t get to be superheroic while a bunch of the guys get super cool character driven victories. The biggest example I can think of is during the Yakuza arc where Nejire is the only big 3 to not get a character introspection of what has pushed them to be at the top of UA while most of the female cast fights a character away from most the underground action.

And as I had brought up in a previous post, characters like Momo who are consistently hyped only for them to lose to either prove the enemy stronger or the fact that they’re not ready yet.

Now those are legitimate gripes I can understand why readers would have with chapter 280, but where I disagree with that is, this was not really a singular person’s win. Afterall, this strategy of trapping Giganto was Momo’s idea. Does she get all the credit? Well, no. But she contributed, she mattered. And that is something we got from Mina, as it was still her vial used to put Giganto to sleep.

There wasn’t a “oh look, she was built up only to fail and now a man must do the work.” No there was clearly an effort put forward, just like everyone else. But then you have the fact Mina froze up, now this leaves me interested in where would go from there. As I brought up, Kirishima has essentially gone full circle, that means we could likely see him phased out more in favor of other characters. And the fact that Mina froze has opened up a new possibility to explore.

In my Momo post, I brought up how they’ve now redefined Momo more as a strategist and leader. He strength doesn’t come from her physical prowess on the battlefield like Bakugou, but rather her skill in support. This is an interesting concept that tries to show off a character’ value isn’t just by how many big bads they’ve punched out. Though I completely understand the need to see more female heroes as action girls rather than simply support.

In conclusion, I do not believe that Kirishima stole any spotlight from Mina. As there wasn’t really a spotlight to begin with. However, expectations were generated from the end of 279 and unfortunately the way a week to week format is structured allowed those expectations to grow. Which resulted in 280 having this underlying sense of disappointment for those who had expectations. However, taking both chapters together as a whole, there’s a lot stronger story here, and makes me hope we get that when we get an anime adaptation of this. It would be tough, but talented directors know what to do with multiple chapters worth of material.

This also leaves me optimistic for the future as Mina’s fumble has made something to be explored as well as the potential conclusion to one of the most beloved characters in the series. I guess all we can do is wait and see.

[mcgrillzdumpinc]

They May Yet Know Who We Were

Summary: Some relationships never known to the public. But the memory of them will not be left to die. Written for SangCheng Month day 15 - immortality!

ao3 link

Pairing: Sangcheng Rating: G Warnings: None apply Word count: 1328

09-June-20XX

Hello Readers, welcome back to the blog!  As I stated last week, we are dedicating the entirety of Pride Month to stories of historical cultivators who were known to be homosexual.  Quick disclaimer, the following will not be a comprehensive understanding of the historical or cultural context in which these cultivators lived.  I’m writing a blog post, not a history textbook. Moreover, there are still debates about the cultivators I will be covering today, so much of what you will be reading will be coming from my own beliefs and understandings of these people. However, I will be citing my resources at the bottom of the page.

Anyway, with that out of the way, today I will be talking about one of the more controversial cultivators known to history – Nie HuaiSang!  Now, hold your booing, I know not everyone likes him, but there is a lot of evidence that he was queer.  Even more interesting is who his gay paramour may have been – read on to find out.

Nie HuaiSang’s affect on the cultivation world is still felt today, in a time where cultivation has fallen out of practice. Outside of being one of the most influential Chief Cultivators, he contributed greatly to China’s art scene, with some of his pieces costing well into the millions of dollars today.  Some historical evidence also points to dealings between the Emperor and Nie HuaiSang, although nothing has been confirmed as of yet.  On top of all that, he also had an extensive bird collection, many of whom were trained as spies.  In his life, he proved to be easily one of the most dangerous men in history and, as we all know, he did not hesitate to maintain this status, especially in the later half of his reign as Chief Cultivator.  It should be noted, however, that heavy debate remains on how responsible he actually was for all those deaths.

But enough about that!  What we’re here for is the gay.  And oh boy do I have a story for you.  Drumroll please for who we believe was his partner!

Jiang WanYin!

That’s right!  Notorious grump and Wei WuXian’s shidi, Jiang WanYin!  He was a war hero in the Sunshot Campaign and leader of the Yunmeng Jiang sect.  Famously, he never married and passed on his title to a distant cousin.  The most commonly accepted theory on his bachelor status is that his requirements for a wife were…exacting, to put it lightly. He was not well-liked by women-kind in his time.  But what if the real reason for his bachelorhood was that he shared his shixiong’s procilivity for men?

I’m sure you’re shouting for the evidence now! Well, let’s start with the artwork which inspired historians’ inquiries into the nature of Jiang WanYin and Nie HuaiSang’s relationship.

[Image Attached] ID: A painted drawing of Jiang WanYin. He is depicted on Lotus Pier, looking out on the lake water with several lotuses blooming.  His hair is down with some strands falling over his shoulders and his bare feet are dipped into the lake.  His robes are detailed with floral trim and he appears to be reading a scroll in his lap.  In the background, floating on the lake, are two mandarin ducks, one male and the other female.  At the bottom right corner is Nie HuaiSang’s signature.  End ID.

This particular piece of art was found around fifty years ago when archaeologists explored Hejian for any forgotten relics from the days Qinghe Nie reigned in the area.  To the explorer’s great surprise, they found a burial site several kilometers from The Unclean Realm.  At the site were a great multitude of items belonging to Nie HuaiSang, his brother Nie MingJue, and their father.  Among these items was a large collection of Nie HuaiSang’s art, all holding his signature.  From what art historians have been able to find, none of these pieces were ever put into circulation.  In this collection were many portraits of his family and friends, including the above picture.

Now let’s dissect this painting of Jiang WanYin. It’s the not only one of him that existed in this secret collection, but this is arguably the most romantic.  Not only is Jiang WanYin depicted at his home, he is shown at his most comfortable – his hair is down and his feet are in the water.  Surely this is not a sight anyone besides family would manage to see of him.  To make matters more surprising, there is the ducks.  If you’re unfamiliar with Chinese symbolism, the mandarin duck is a symbol of romantic love. These ducks were long-believed to have mated for life, although this has since been disproven.  Moreover, the male and female ducks are very dissimilar in appearance, so their name, yuanyang, is sometimes used to refer to an unexpected couple.  And what an odd couple they could have been, Jiang WanYin and Nie HuaiSang!

Some scholars have argued the painting would have been a gift to Jiang WanYin’s future spouse, which is why it never saw public view since the man in question remained a bachelor.  But many other scholars, myself included, believe this is an artwork meant to represent Nie HuaiSang’s feelings for Jiang WanYin.  He wanted to immortalize his partner in a loving way, since their relationship was otherwise not public.

There is further evidence to back our claims. In Wei WuXian’s well-maintained diary, he made several notes on Jiang WanYin’s close relationship to Nie HuaiSang. In one of these entries, he refers to them as an odd couple, yuanyang.  It is difficult to further discern if he was being serious when he wrote these words, since any historian worth their salt knows not to take Wei WuXian’s recollections at face value.  Aside from him, there are also diary entries from Jin RuLan, who maintained a close uncle-nephew relation with Jiang WanYin until the latter’s passing.  In several of his entries, he mentions Nie HuaiSang arriving with Jiang WanYin for personal gatherings and weddings. Although Nie HuaiSang later married a woman and had several children with her, he does not stop this oddly close relationship with Jiang WanYin.  In fact, in two entries, Jin RuLan remarks on how strange it is to see Jiang WanYin, Nie HuaiSang, and Nie HuaiSang’s wife chatting in friendly terms.  He even goes so far as to accidentally(?) refer to Nie HuaiSang’s third child as his own cousin.

Although the evidence is scarce, I personally believe it speaks volumes.  There were many happy stories of homosexual couples in the cultivation world, the most famous of which being Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian, but there are twice as many stories of same-sex couples ending tragically.  I am of the opinion that Nie HuaiSang and Jiang WanYin sadly fell into this second category.  They were duty-bound to foster families and run their individual sects.  Any romance between them would have been at great risk if it was revealed to the public.  However, I am also of the opinion that they managed to their love in private, even to the point of eventually including Nie HuaiSang’s wife, if Jin RuLan’s mistake is to be believed.  I believe they loved each other until the bitter end.  As evidence and to close this blog post out, I present to you one of the last paintings in the buried collection.  We have managed to date it as occurring within the same year as Nie HuaiSang’s famous fall.

[Image Attached] ID: Depicted is Jiang Wanyin in his later years.  There are noticeable wrinkles around his mouth and eyes.  He is dressed in heavy brocade robes.  His belt displays the Nie’s motif – the head of a bull-like beast. His belt is also decorated with a Jiang purity bell and a case for writing talismans.  His hair has been done in a series of complicated braids. His right hand displays Zidian in its ring form.  He is smiling as he stares out a window.  End ID.

[qionow]

Status Quo

They had one rule: don’t offend anyone. 

Political get-togethers could easily ruin a nation’s reputation if they expressed an opinion too controversial in the eyes of those attending. Especially if said eyes held a more conservative view of the world. 

So naturally, Italy and Romana decide to bring their girlfriends along with them. 

(also happy pride y’all, enjoy some wlw content in the form of “don’t talk to me or my bottom ever again”: the fic)

There were certainly worse ways to spend a Friday night, but being forced to attend a formal party filled with old politicians and exhausted diplomats wasn’t exactly the best thing in the world for Italy either. 

If it were up to her, then she would have slept right through the evening and let the political disaster that started at seven play out on its own without her. But unfortunately, this was something she didn’t have a choice in, so Italy relegated herself to looking around for any signs of free food and smiling at whoever’s eye she happened to catch as she made her way through the crowd.

“Are you sure we should be doing this?” 

Italy paused when she caught Germany’s muttered question, glancing up to see a pair of pale blue eyes scanning the room with no hidden amount of apprehension. 

“Mhm!” Italy replied breezily, squeezing their interlocked hands lightly. “Don’t worry about it!” 

However, Germany did have a fair reason to look so concerned. 

Italy really didn’t draw much attention to herself compared to the rest of the people at the party. Someone like her bouncing around in a dress and heels wasn’t exactly the most threatening thing in the world, after all. 

But a tall German woman in a full suit was about as far on the opposite side of the spectrum you could get from that image. 

“I thought your boss specifically said to be more conservative this time around,” Germany muttered, briefly ducking her head when they passed a small group whose conversation notably silenced as soon as she was within hearing distance.

Still, Italy waved her off with her free hand for that, her relentlessly sunny attitude in full swing. “That’s what he told me to do! You can do whatever you want!” 

She made to start her brisk pace again, but her smile slowly dropped when she caught the persistent hesitation on Germany’s face. Easing Germany’s anxiety was a much more strenuous task compared to tackling her own worries, but there was no way Italy was going to let this loom over her lover’s shoulders for the rest of the night.

That thought was all she needed to change their course in order to usher them both into one of the less populated corners of the room, pulling Germany along with her until they were tucked away from the bulk of the crowd. 

“What’s wrong, cara?” 

Even when Italy tried to catch her gaze, Germany’s eyes still wandered over to the rest of the room every so often with clear caution.

“I’m just worried about you,” she finally answered, voice hushed and nearly drowned out in the chatter of the room.

Italy paused. 

That wasn’t what she had thought would be the problem.

“Me?” She pointed back to herself and received a small nod in confirmation, which did absolutely nothing to explain the situation to her. “Germany, why on earth would you be worried about me?” 

She could tell it was getting harder for Germany to fully verbalize her thoughts as she pursed her lips, visibly tensing up the longer the silence dragged on.

“Well,” she started slowly, pressing her lips together once before she managed to continue. “You’re here with me. And this isn’t a very welcoming crowd.” 

When Italy only stared back at her though, Germany let out a frustrated sigh and crossed her arms. 

“I don’t want someone to try and go after you because of me.” 

The exasperation in her voice was evident, but Italy still caught the undertone of worry that laced that simple sentence together. 

“Monika.” Italy reached out to pull at Germany’s arm, forcing them to uncross enough for her to take her hand and intertwine their fingers together. “That’s not going to happen.” 

“But-” 

“I mean it.” 

Italy made sure to cut off that train of thought as soon as Germany opened her mouth, squeezing her hand in a silent request to let her continue.

“You’re scary enough already. Nobody’s going to bother you or me,” she went on. “And if they do, then you can just beat them up!” 

Germany sighed, but Italy could have sworn she saw a flicker of amusement in her eyes and she knew she was going in the right direction as soon as she did.

“Marzia, I can’t do that here.” 

“That’s ok!” Italy channeled all of the enthusiastic determination she was known for so she could beam up at Germany with the confidence she hoped to instill in her. “I’ll just beat them up for you!” 

Germany only stared at her at first, total shock written all over her face before she dropped her head. It was hard to pick up, but Italy still managed to catch the faint chuckle she let out.

When Germany finally looked up at her, a small smile tugged the corner of her lips up and that sight alone was enough to make Italy melt on the spot. 

“That’s what you’re going to do?” she mused, a teasing curl to her words that Italy rarely heard from her. 

Italy’s cheeks hurt with the force of her grin as she nodded her head fast enough to nearly whip herself in the face with her ponytail.

“Yup! That’s why you don’t have to worry about what you’re wearing!” Italy was sure that her relief was clear as day, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to care at the moment. “Besides, you look good!”

She took a moment to eye the way the sharp lines of Germany’s dark black suit jacket framed her broad shoulders ever so nicely, tight sleeves clinging to a set of very strong arms.

“Really good.” 

Germany shook her head, but she was still much more relaxed than when the night first started and Italy was nothing short of thrilled for that accomplishment.

“Oh, it’s a pleasure to see you two here!” 

And that relaxed state was gone in a flash as a man Italy had never seen before clapped a hand on both of their shoulders. “I’m sure it was hard to make it, with all your work nowadays!” 

Italy was quick to smile back in an attempt to draw his attention to her when Germany visibly tensed up under his grip. It would be safe to assume that he was some politician looking to widen his social network and Germany’s less-than-warm response would undoubtedly send the wrong message if that was the case. 

“It’s no problem!” she replied cheerfully. “We’re just glad we get to come!” 

That was certainly the right move when the man let out a loud laugh, briefly shaking them both before he finally let go. “That’s what I like to hear!” 

He reached over to nudge Germany, a friendly curve to his grin as he beamed her with obvious delight despite her stiff posture.

“It’s good to see you out and about too, Ludwig! I’m sure our little Italy here had a hand in that though!” 

Italy's smile dropped. 

When she looked over to Germany, she caught the silent question she was asking her when her eyes flickered over to the politician before they met hers again. Italy didn’t even have to think before she gave her a nod in return.

She had never been so happy to let Germany take the lead before when she saw the way Germany drew herself back into a familiar stoic expression that was much more composed and much more intimidating. 

“My name is Monika.” 

Italy vaguely registered the fact that the man’s smile dropped in record time, especially when there were more pressing issues to concern herself with.

Germany on her own already had a commanding enough presence with her sharp blue eyes and broad stature, about as close to the embodiment of military power that one could get in a person. But now, that power was on full display as she clasped her hands behind her back and glared down at the man in front of her, practically radiating strength from every inch of her body. 

And Italy was absolutely smitten with her. 

The politician who was currently facing Germany’s silent wrath didn’t seem to share the same opinion though. 

“Ah, of course.” He cleared his throat, glancing off to the side when Germany had yet to break eye contact with him. “Right. I mean-I heard that you would be coming, but I thought you would just look a little more, you know-” 

He waved a hand towards Germany, although that hand quickly retracted itself when Germany’s expression didn’t change.

“I don’t.” Germany said slowly, voice lowering dangerously into a tone that was more suitable for addressing a soldier than a guest at a party. “Would you like to elaborate?” 

That was as clear of a challenge as Italy had ever heard from her, which the politician certainly caught onto as well if the way his face paled had anything to say about it.

“Oh no, no, I’ve taken up enough of your time already,” he fumbled out, shaking his head with a faltering attempt at a polite smile. “I’ll just, um, be on my way.” 

He was quick to excuse himself with an awkward attempt at a wave before he retreated back into the safety of the crowd, vanishing from sight in an impressively short amount of time. 

But even after he left, it took a while for the cold look on Germany’s face to completely melt away as she let out a tense sigh, closing her eyes in order to bring a hand up to her temples.

“Do I really look like Ludwig?”  

Italy couldn’t stop the bubbling laughter from escaping her chest at that point, clutching onto Germany’s arm for dear life so she could keep herself steady. 

“What?” 

“It’s nothing, it’s nothing!” 

Germany raised an eyebrow at her giggling fit, which only served to send Italy right back into a barely comprehensible mess.

“Italy.”

“I’m sorry!” Italy wheezed out. “It’s just-you were so worried about us getting hurt! Us!” 

Germany let out a quiet exhale as Italy slowly managed to pull herself back together, the last of her hiccuping laughter forced away to leave behind a broad grin. “I suppose you were right then.” 

“See?” The smile on Italy’s face was probably the most genuine one she had done all night. “There’s nothing to worry about!”

Germany let out a hum, although it wasn’t quite in full agreement. 

Luckily for her, Italy knew exactly how to change that. 

“Hey.” 

Once she had Germany’s attention, Italy pushed herself up onto the balls of her feet in order to press a kiss to her cheek, rocking back down with the hope that all of the fondness in her chest was properly translated. “You’re still my Monika, ok?” 

And oh, she knew that message was sent loud and clear when Germany’s face burst into a fiery red, quickly ducking her head in a hopeless attempt to hide her blush. 

Italy’s smile widened as she reached down to interlace their hands together once more, tugging Germany back through the crowd with pure delight.

After all, the night would only last so long and she still had a very lovely German sweetheart to show off to the rest of the guests. 

~~

Romana didn’t even know why she was here. 

Italy was more than capable of handling social events on her own, so the reason why her boss decided to loop her into this was a complete mystery to her. 

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she had cursed him out in his own office a few days ago. Maybe it didn’t. 

Like she said, a complete mystery.

“I think that’s another one for ‘close friends.’”

Romana promptly found herself snapped out of her thoughts, glancing over at Spain, who was currently typing away at her phone. “Why the hell are you keeping track?” 

“I just thought it would be funny!” Spain replied easily, shooting a broad grin down at Romana. “Do you want to see what we got so far?” 

“No.” 

Spain’s smile never faltered despite Romana’s curt answer, leaning down to hold her phone out. “Are you sure?” 

Romana's gaze flickered down once, then twice before she snatched Spain’s phone out of her hands with a few muttered insults. She chose to ignore Spain’s light laughter in favor of studying the messy notes on the screen in front of her instead. 

According to the data, three people had mistaken them for waitresses, four people had asked where their husbands were, one poor bastard thought they were sisters, and a whole twelve guests had somehow gotten the impression that they were “close friends.” 

Although, given the fact that Spain was currently decked in a dark crimson dress and a full face of makeup compared to the walking manifestation of butch fashion that was Germany, Romana really couldn’t blame them. 

That didn’t mean that Spain was completely modest with her choice of fashion though. 

“Excuse me, but would you two happen to be Spain and Romana, by any chance?” 

Romana glanced up from Spain’s phone to meet the service-ready smile of some woman in front of them, likely an underpaid and overworked secretary if she had to place her bets. 

“That’s us!” Spain chirped back, plucking her phone from Romana in one fluid motion. “Is there something you needed?”

“Oh no, I just wanted to drop by and say hi.” The woman’s smile softened into something more genuine. “You two look wonderful tonight.” 

Spain’s bubbly enthusiasm riled itself back up in full force at that.

“Thank you!” she replied easily. “You look great too! I love your dress!”

When the secretary looked over to her, Romana jerked her head in a quick nod of agreement, which thankfully seemed to be enough to avoid coming off as a complete brat. 

“It’s not anything special, just something I picked up a while ago,” the woman laughed, waving her off with polite modesty. However, once her eyes trailed down to Spain’s right hand, her smile quickly morphed into a concerned frown. “Oh! Um, I think you broke your nails there.” 

“Hmm?” Spain peered down at her hand with faux curiosity and Romana had to physically resist the urge to groan when she held her fingers up. “Do you mean these?” 

Romana didn’t know when Spain had gotten her nails done or who had even agreed to do them for her with the stunt she pulled off because really, having your index and middle fingers painted and clipped strikingly short compared to the length of the rest of your nails was a bold move for a formal party.

It was stupid and it was embarassing and it was exactly the kind of thing that Spain would try to get away with.

“Don’t worry, these were on purpose! They do come in pretty handy after all!” 

The woman tilted her head to the side with obvious confusion and Romana was tempted to beg for her to leave before the full force of Spain’s dramatics could be unveiled. 

“On purpose?” she repeated, the connection obviously miles away from being formed in her head at that point. “What would you need them that short for?” 

Spain only flipped her hand over so her palm was to the ceiling, curling her index and middle fingers towards her in a come hither motion with a completely innocent and wildly inappropriate smile. 

Romana had seen a wide variety of reactions that night ranging from complete obliviousness to awkward discomfort and some kind of emotion within that range was what she was expecting, especially with how nice the secretary had been thus far.

But seeing her face twist with pure disgust was the one reaction that Romana had yet to see and that was where she was going to draw the line.

“You got a fucking problem with that?” Romana snapped, crossing her arms with a scowl. 

“Do I-” The woman quickly met Romana’s glare with a disapproving frown that made Romana’s blood boil. “Of course not! There’s just no reason for you two to be putting this in everyone’s face is all.”

Romana would swear to this day that her temper had never jumped up so quickly before in her life.

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” 

“I mean that this is a formal event and there are certain rules to abide by,” she replied firmly, passive hostility dripping from every word that came out of her mouth. “I assumed you would have a little more modesty. It does bring up questions about your integrity as a nation.”

The secretary’s critical gaze drifted down to where the hem of Romana’s dress rested against her thighs.

“And as a woman.”

Oh, did Romana have some thoughts about that little comment.

“You fucking-”

The only thing that stopped Romana from reaching over and strangling the woman herself was the fact that Spain had shot her arm out to stop her from stepping forward, the friendly look on her face looking decidedly more strained than before.

“Roma, why don’t you go look around for a minute?” Spain’s tone seemed to offer less of an offer and more of a command at that point. “I’ll come find you later.” 

She really just wanted to argue and have at the secretary herself, but her mouth snapped itself shut once she caught the hard glint in Spain’s eyes. 

“Fine,” she spat out, glaring at the woman who seemed to be under the impression that she had somehow won here.

Romana didn’t say a word to correct her as she marched right back off into the crowd, glancing back just in time to see Spain’s smile drop into a cold glare. 

Sure, she wanted to chew that excuse of a guest out herself, but she knew that Spain would have that handled without her and that was enough of a victory in her opinion.

~~

Romana turned when she heard the faint clicking of heels against the floor, looking up just in time to see Spain heading right towards her with a bright smile. 

“I’m back!” Spain called out cheerfully, leaning down to press a messy kiss to the top of her head. “Sorry that took a while!” 

“Whatever.” Romana rolled her eyes when Spain wrapped an arm around her waist. “I can handle that shit on my own, you know.”

“I know, I know,” Spain cooed back. “I just got a little carried away. She shouldn’t have said that about you.”

“Right.” Romana’s attention was already fixed on the hand that was currently pressing her body right next to Spain’s. “Are you going to do this for the rest of the night?” 

“Yup!” 

Romana glanced up, ready to find the familiar sight of a teasing grin on Spain’s face only to find complete determination. 

She let out a groan, slapping her hands up to cover her face. Of course, she had forgotten exactly how hard it was to shake Spain’s protective mood off once she really got into it. “No.” 

Spain frowned, mouth already open to protest. “But-” 

“No.” 

“How about ten minutes?” she finally bartered, already quirking her lip out in a rather impressive attempt at looking like a kicked puppy. “Please?” 

Romana’s first instinct was to give her a hard no, but now that she thought about it, it really wasn’t so bad, being this close to Spain. With her mood, she would definitely be more than safe from anyone else who decided to make a scene. And while she would never admit it out loud, it did feel nice to have Spain dote on her so much. 

But Spain didn’t need to know that.

“Fine.” 

The speed with which Spain brightened up as soon as Romana muttered that word was honestly astonishing to see in person. 

“Yes! Thank you!” Spain chirped, leaning down again to press a messy kiss to her cheek, even if she was grinning too widely in order to do it properly. 

Despite the less than ideal attempt, Romana still didn’t move to push Spain’s head away. “Shut up.”

But now that the hectic moment had died down, Romana found that she still had a question that had remained unanswered.

“What the hell did you even say?”

Spain paused, glancing at Romana quizzically. “To her?” 

When Romana nodded, Spain laughed, but she still caught a glimpse of that lingering irritation behind her smile as her grip tightened ever so slightly.

“You don’t need to worry about that, Roma.” 

[naturaldisasterfanfiction]

9.

A day later and I feel like everything that happened was just a dream, like the Diamond Ball didn’t happen, but it did and it went well but that is to my face of course, but now the question on everyone’s lips is who is the father. I don’t have my mobile on me, I gave it Dennis and told him to keep it to him because I don’t want to see what is being said about me, I am not stupid. I know they all are being nice to me because they are at my event, speaking to Cardi she was happy for me but then it kind of slid out on who is the dad and I felt so defensive about it so I need to just step back and not be so uptight about something any person would ask, I would ask. I am nosey like that but no, I was there like dog with a bone when someone insinuated about who the dad is, I need to just calm down with how I react but it’s done now and I know Jen is out there waiting for me to get out, she has been coming to my bedroom door asking constantly when I am coming out, I know they will have a lot of things to tell me which I have been ignoring, I just feel a little weird that people know and are now judging me but who cares. I think I am a little too overprotective and I felt myself slip and I didn’t like people touching my stomach too, when I say people I know these people, but they aren’t family, the excitement got the better of them. I had photographers near falling over each other to get a picture, they shouted many things, they didn’t want my family on the carpet, they were in the way. Let’s just say I made the right decision to release the information myself before I went on the carpet, I still find it slightly funny that the video does look like I am releasing skin care so I can only imagine how my fans felt.

I have left my slumber, I told everyone to leave me alone for a full day after the ball, so this is kind of like the first day seeing my family since. I just needed peace, but I can only imagine the messages I am getting, I told Dennis to answer them unless it’s important then leave them and I will answer them but I have been given space so now it is time to face the music “if it isn’t the lazy bitch herself, she shouted at me twice. Shouting ever so loudly saying don’t come and wake up, I am ok. Leave me alone, you lucky Monica is here, and she said let you rest, cause chile. We been working” they all look busy “well I am here for the talk; I am guessing everyone is being dramatic?” pulling the chair out “you want some food baby?” my mom asked, I huffed out as I sat down “not right now no, I am ok. You got Noella working too? Look at her” I am impressed “do you know how many messages you are getting; Dennis couldn’t deal. Your fans are using your email address for your business ventures to either complain or say how happy they are, so I am helping out, it’s fun to read and delete. But I am glad you are all rested up, after a long night and a lot of controversy it was a needed rest for you” smiling at my cousin “thank you, someone agrees. I know y’all was bugging” I chuckled “well we needed to ask for help on some shit” Jen said side eyeing me.

I can tell they are working hard, they are incredibly quiet “so tell me, what is being said? Give me the negatives, some positives also. Thank you” I am prepared for the negatives, I mean the main one is the father of the child, I know that will be o. people’ mind rent free, it’s annoying but of course it will be the main subject “interesting night, you are still trending on twitter. Rihanna pregnant is trending still. Along with Drake, Hassan Jameel and Chris Brown. Any takers on who they think the baby father is? There is an actual poll on this, I just voted for it to see if I was right” Jen is not shit, shaking my head at her “oh let me vote!” Ja shouted across “I think Hassan won, hear me out. It is because you was quiet and mysterious with him and they will all think it is him, I think he won anyways” look at these assholes predicting shit “I say Drake” Noella put her hand up “one hundred percent Drake” shaking my head at the people I call friends “I expected better from you Melissa, Dennis you might as well add your fucking opinion too” poor guy wants to say it but he is stopping himself “I uh, no it’s ok” Jen hit his arm “she won’t fire you, Ja is still living and breathing” Dennis looked at me and I am just done with them, they can do what they like “I think it is between Hassan and Drake” nodding my head “what about you Jen?” Jen giggled, she is not shit “well I voted Drake also and the winner in this poll is” Jen smirked at me “your favourite go to man and it is Drake” I laughed shaking my head “this is what is fuelling the rumours, listen to this. Drake has been seen partying with Rihanna in London and as yet, hear this. He had yet to confirm if the rumours are true. He has not posted anything since the announcement” shaking my head sighing out “wow ok, so I am ok to be a step mom with Drake but if it were Chris it’s hell, so nobody voted for Chris?” I am curious to know “he is actually last on the list, crazy” that is interesting to know, they really think it’s Drake’ baby and he is just not posting just to fuel that.

Chewing on my bottom lip thinking, it’s jus mind blowing to me to think people would want me to be with Drake or even Hassan then Chris, when Chris out of them both is the sweetest, he is very misjudged in so many ways. Drake is actually a dickhead and Hassan wanted things I couldn’t give him, he did make me happy but I am not willing to change me in any way where I had to leave my religion and he wasn’t either, but he was manipulative in some ways too, I just never win with men. With Chris he likes to be real, not everyone can handle real “Jay wants to speak to you” Dennis said “tell him I don’t want to speak to him, he didn’t want to come to my event but wants to tell me about myself? I know that nigga want to come at me because I lied, I didn’t tell him. Text him back right now, you tell him. When I am ready to speak to you I will, this is my journey without your chains. Bye” I spat, I knew he was coming out of the woodwork “I have a lot of messages about who the father is, what should I say?” Jen asked “I don’t want no interviews, magazine or whatever I don’t care. The father is” I dragged out, what do I say. I need to think “I am not saying it is Chris, just put that the father does not want to be disclosed and that I need time of privacy, something along those lines. Next?” I mean they obviously been waiting for me to come out of my slumber “nothing really, we just wanted to see you. But the dress you wore, it sold out already.  You have been praised with how elegant you looked; how beautiful you look. I mean look at this picture” Ja turned the laptop to me, my smile grew “I look good you know” I am taken aback by how happy I look, I was stressing so much in the SUV and then look at that, my happiness “lots of compliments, the compliments is more then the hate anyways. But we just wanted to see you and baby Fenty, see you are both ok” I cooed out “how cute of you all, I feel a weight has been lifted. Just have another to go” I am going to have to tell Chris, I think it is time “I need to speak to you Robyn” Mel said “shall we go somewhere” nodding my head ad I got up.

Mel touched my stomach “it’s so nice to see you pregnant, I can’t wait to meet baby Fenty. It’s going to be so exciting” smiling down at my stomach “same” I said in a whisper “how are you feeling? Truthfully, with everything that had come you now. Do you feel like a weight has been lifted?” I shrugged “I think the weight will be lifted once I see Chris, once I tell him and explain to him. At the end of the day I have kept a child he don’t know about and as a father to this child he has every right to know, so I feel like I have done bad and makes me no different from any other girl, he may not have wanted that. But I will be truthful to him and say if you don’t want to know then it’s fine, I won’t be upset about it because then I will just have to work harder with loving my child, but I know Chris. I mean I am just, yeah. I think I need this talk, I am ready for him to get me angry” Mel laughed “you seem so relieved to know Chris is the dad then Drake or Hassan” I breathed out “oh my god, they are unbearable and it makes it worse when you don’t love the person, you don’t care them. This baby, it’s just my mom is right. It was meant to come; I mean I know we used a condom. I would have been a young mother really if we let what happened in the past happen, but I am ok with it being Chris, but his reaction will be interesting” Mel laughed nervously “same, well I have to admit something to you. Don’t bark at me, let me just say it” letting out an oh, I should have known she done something dumb “so I text Chris because I really wanted him to come to the Ball, I feel like he needs to be told sooner rather then later. That is just me. I messaged him that himself and Mijo can come, I will be there. I just think you know it would be good, he is family now but he replied back that he loves me and that Rihanna is foul, she knows what she did and that you need to take your drunken sex with talks somewhere else, and I was like oh shit he mad, mad and now I am like you got issues, but I did that” staring at my Mel with my mouth hung open.

I am shocked he is angry at me telling him to go “now he is being petty, fuck that” I said laughing “what did you do to him?” Mel asked, but I didn’t do anything and that’s the funny part “we had sex, we literally got drunk, we made out and had sex. I woke up like fuck, he is here still and told him to go unless he was expecting me to hug him after that? You are kidding me?” I didn’t do anything to him, he can’t be real “but you don’t know what he was feeling, in his mind he was probably wanting all that lovey dovey shit, I mean when I was looking at you both. You looked so happy; he was smiling. Maybe he did want that? He does love you; I mean plenty of men do but the love between you both is different, he was probably on a different page, you was on a I need sex page and he was probably on a I just want to love this woman. But he is hurt, so I am guessing he is going to be butt hurt about the fact I invited him and then found out you pregnant?” I groaned out “it’s kind of worse now, but either way I need to get this done before I leave California so since you want to be so fucking confident in messaging him behind my back, I said no because I wasn’t going to tell him before. You can now get him to come here, find a way” getting up from the couch.

That makes me laugh so much, he is such an asshole. He was the same nigga having me and Kae at the same time and I lowered myself to that fucking level and he wants to be butt hurt over telling him to go, I swear to god. I feel angry at it, how can he be angry when he had me and didn’t treat me right then, I am pissed. Mel told me that now I am just irritated, I feel anger towards him, and I feel like now I want to argue with him, but I won’t, because this has to be a grown talk. I can’t even comprehend the foolish man being hurt by what I did, what about me. We didn’t end on mutual fucking terms, I walked away from him and had the fucking nerve to be upset when he had Kae on the low, he went back to that and how the fuck did he think I felt and then he still had the fucking nerve to turn up to New York acting brand new, I tried of his ass and now I am angry at him “are you arguing with yourself?” Jen said, shaking my head in annoyance, I am annoyed “nothing” I just said “are you all going out tonight? I need the place to myself and don’t come back till late” Jen raised an eyebrow “Chris should be here, it’s about time we have that conversation, you know” Jen let out an oh “oh I see, ok I get it. I will make sure to clear the home then, wish I could be here. It’s always drama with you both” I sniggered; she is right.

Mel waved me over “I don’t want to move though” I whined out “please” she eye balled me, she has been missing for a while now so let me see what is up “I will be back mom” getting up from the couch, making my way to Mel “I am just tired” Mel announced, she is tired but yet she caused her own mess because I said for her to not invite him “I guess it’s not working out huh” we went into the spare living room “well” Mel dragged out, sitting down on the couch and watching Mel. She looks so sad right now, I think Chris may have annoyed her “so, I messaged him. I said to come to the home we are in currently. Robyn needs to speak to you. He messaged back pretty quick and he said we are playing a games, we wanted to shame him in front of every one, this was all a ploy to make him look a fool. He said he can’t believe that you are having a baby by a bitch ass nigga, he doesn’t want to see you. That you used him, you are foul, I am foul. We are bad people for him. I then said, it’s not how you think it was, she can explain but you need to come here, he said no. Robyn is playing a game and he is done, he doesn’t want to see you, and at this point I am annoyed so I said, you don’t want to see her pregnant and happy? You want her to be bitter or something. He messaged back saying don’t get involved Mel, Robyn is a bitch. So yeah, that happened” he is so fucking lost, he is so fucked in the mind that he likes to hear himself “the only bitch ass nigga is him, I am not going to chase him about this. If he don’t want to care and play ball with the fact I want to see him then I am done, I will message him myself, but if he doesn’t then so be it” unlocking my phone “he may change his attitude if you do it, he think we played a game and now he’s hurt you’re pregnant by what I assume Drake” I will try this with him but I hate that I am having to do this through Instagram, tapping on his name to message him ‘I really need to speak to you, I think you will regret this moment if you don’t. Leave your ego at the door and listen to me when I say this, you either come tonight or you don’t’ pressing send on the message.

Chris and I have been going back and forth on messages, like I am doing this with him through Instagram. Reading his last message ‘You are just jealous that I am not sprung on you so STOP acting like I am! Now you want me to come there to fuck with me’ he is still stuck on the tiresome conversation “I am losing the will to live” I said to myself as I typed back to him ‘Nigga, you are so fucking sprung on me that is why you are fucking crying in my messages about one night! I am not answering any messages to you any more, you either come or don’t!!!!!’ pressing send, I am fucking annoyed. He is being so butt hurt and also vile that I left him hung, I am just not going to continue this over messages “you think you can handle him if he does come?” Mel asked, good question “there will be an argument before we even speak properly. I will be ok, he is the biggest stress I got right now” it will be interesting to see if he does arrive but knowing him he will come, I believe he will anyways.

[crystalelemental]

Oh man.  GamePress apparently updated the offensive tier list to be AR exclusive, and boy have there been some changes.  You know I have opinions on this one.

Okay let’s start with the obvious part: how in the hell is any Legendary hero considered above Tier 2?  Like, are we not factoring in score?  Or are we only accounting for if they score well?  Because realistically, half the time, a legendary hero is an active detriment to the scoring.  Also it turns out this isn’t just offense, but both offense AND defense, since Mirabilis is Tier 1.  So that’s gonna be...honestly, a bit confusing.  I’m sure some people can tell which is which, but I’m willing to bet others aren’t clear.

Let’s start with the biggest changes at the top.  Eliwood and Brave Roy are now Tier 1, likely because Galeforce.  Nothing else is different that I can tell.  Maybe some demotion?  But nothing substantial.  Lysithea is finally recognized as Tier 1, and I’m certain it’s because of her power on AR-D.  Girl is obscene.  Otherwise, Fallen Julia is the only other T1 Red Mage, and damn good on her.  Idunn demoted, but honestly, fair.  AR is not for her.  Armor units are not hard to handle, and are pretty bad on offense.  Especially with Thrasir existing, armor dragons just have a rough go.  Spring Idunn and Tibarn alone are T1.  What I do find interesting is that Dancer Micaiah didn’t maintain.  I guess the Hardy Bearing effect isn’t as impressive anymore.  Also Karla stayed T2, that’s...astonishing, actually.  Duo Byleth is also T2, which kinda makes sense.  Defense can’t make use of her Duo skill, and her bulk is pathetic, so any typical ranged defense unit can handle her.  On offense, it’s going to be tough.  Desperation effect is good, but conditional on having a fast team, not to mention Galeforce sets can require the foe to retaliate, like with Eliwood/Brave Roy.  So I can’t say I’m surprised she’s not on top.

Lance seems to just be B!Lucina, Duo Ephraim, and Trio Palla.  Which is fair.  Blue mages, though?  Damn is this crowded.  L!Azura and Peony, because obscene dancers.  Ophelia, because bitch.  Duo Alphonse, because immortality.  Brunnya, because honestly Fimbulvetr is perfect for this game mode, and she’s got the infantry status and abilities to do whatever she wants.  And L!Julia.  I’m willing to bet she’s more AR-D focused.  Rafiel and L!Chrom are also T1, of course.  I think what really surprises me is that Reinhardt is T2.  Is anyone else surprised about this?  I guess he’s not the most threatening thing in the world anymore, but still.  Actually wait, what’s REALLY neat is that Naga is T3.  So clearly scoring considerations are not paramount.

Axes have V!Duo Alm, Annette, L!Edelgard, and B!Ike.  Because of course.  All of them are ridiculous.  Mages have L!Celica, Thrasir, and Fallen Lyon, with beasts/dragons having Reyson.  Which, again, makes sense.  I’m glad Surtr demoted to T2.  I really don’t think of him as the most threatening aspect of AR anymore, even on dedicated stall, so this feels overdue.  Yune’s also T2, which..okay, fair.  While I think she’s great, she’s a ranged flying unit who plays defense, and her debuff game is crippled severely by Eir’s bonuses.  It’s super weird that F!Kana demoted, though.  She was T1 before, and that was entirely based on AR potential, so...okay.  Guess the meta has shifted hard enough against her.  Also, big shoutouts to Julia for maintaining T2 status.  That’s my girl.

Bows have L!Alm, L!Leif, V!Faye, and Duo Marth.  I can’t speak for Duo Marth, I don’t have him, but I feel like the fact I’ve never faced one means he’s at least not good on AR-D.  I can vouch for V!Faye, though, holy shit.  In fact can we establish Tier 0 for the primordial beings that break the world over their knees?  Anyway, Bernadetta and B!Lyn are T2, and I’m betting that’s for hit-and-run offense teams.  Also Norne’s T2 now, which is super correct.  I’ve felt this for a while, and the forum backs me up pretty hard on it: Norne’s the best common archer by a mile.  But of course, you all know what I’m going to say.  There is no way Faye is T3.  I have played her ranged defense game long enough to know that she is really strong at it.  While some threats like Lysithea can blow past her, and Thrasir isn’t always one-shot with my current supports, she is very capable of performing better than T3.  Also, poor Clarisse.  Finally gets a kickass refine that’s just not particularly great for AR, and instead of climbing the ranks of the offensive tier list, they change the conditions on her.  Girl can’t catch a break.

Dagger/Mage combos have, of course, Bramimond, Leila, Eir, and Duo Micaiah.  Absolutely no surprises here.  What is surprising, maybe just to me, is that Winter Cecilia is down to T3.  She was considered T2 for a long while, and I’d guessed that was based on AR potential.  I guess Duo Micaiah is causing substantial problems for armors across the board?  But man, Larum is T2.  LARUM.  Larum sucks, what could she possibly be doing that’s useful?

Dragons/Beasts have Fallen Female Corrin, Leanne, Mila, and Velouria.  I love everything about this.  Leanne makes sense for Defense teams, Velouria is a great Galeforcer, Mila is probably the best Light mythic for supertank strategies, and Fallen Female Corrin makes me happy because Fallen Male Corrin is only T2.  Get fucked, loser.  Your higher BST does nothing for your shit ass.  I do think there’s an argument for Caineghis in T1 for an offensive supertank, but honestly, he struggles.  To a degree I’d say he’s worse than Faye.  We don’t have any beast Mythics, and the only offensive dragon is Mila.  His DC is conditional on transforming, and he’s an armor unit.  He can’t run Null C-Disrupt, or Null Follow-Up like she can, so there are defense teams that can beat him by exploiting this.  I feel like Faye’s a lot better, but hey, what do I know.

And finally, staves.  Bridal Fjorm is the only one in T1.  Brave Veronica actually dropped, which is funny because she was T1 before solely on AR.  She doesn’t place in Arena.  I guess the meta has shifted away from Brave Veronica lately.  I haven’t been scared of one in a long time.  And hey, Maribelle is T2 as well, and Forrest got pushed up to T3!  Unfortunately, Brave Camilla was reduced to T3, so she’s still below B!Veronica.  Which in this game mode I guess is fair.

Now for the opposite end of the spectrum.  There are now 6 tiers, which I like.  I feel the subdivisions are appropriate, we have enough units that categorization was tough.  T4 for lances and swords was like 60 units before, I’m glad it got cleaned up a bit.  For red stuff, Alfonse remains at the bottom, but is no longer alone.  NY!Camilla, Chrom, V!Conrad, Beach Fiora, Hinata, and NY!Hrid are also down there.  Haha, Hrid, get fucked you loser.  That’s for January 2019, you fuck.  Mages here include Canas, Julius (ouch), Leo, Beach Leo, Raigh, and Beach Lorenz.  No surprises.  There are no dragons, daggers, or bows for red down here, the lowest they go is T4.  Hysterically, every form of red Tiki is in T4.  Also, maybe this is me not understanding something, but NY!Anna and NY!Eir in T4 surprises me.  I thought their weapons were considered great team support.  Are their stats just not optimized for it? 

T6 lances are many.  Too many, I’m not listing all of that.  What I will say is, tell my Forma Finn running on the double cav Galeforce defense team that he’s T6.  Considering I only lost two matches at all last season, and only 38 Lift, I’d say he’s doing alright.  But there are probably better options out there, I’m just working with what I have.  Mages are just Oliver and M!Robin.  Man, I hope M!Robin goes up with the resplendent.  Leave Oliver to die.  No dragons, bows, or daggers, they’re all up in T4 where...where...no.  No, there’s no way.  Lilith has warp abilities from anywhere.  NAESALA is considered T4, despite being paired with Tibarn for some of the nastiest offensive AR-D strategies out there.  Mordecai has the Smite thing.  I don’t agree with this at all.  And Ninian is T3?  Even though she’s one of the top picks for Infantry Pulse AR-D dancers?  I know Nils exists and is better in every way pretty much, but that’s a bit much to me.  I think the blue dragon/beast section is the most ridiculous by far.

There are also a lot of axes down in T6, but I agree with all of them.  The green mages make me sad, though.  Picnic Leo, Cecilia, and Female Robin.  I do think F!Robin has a lot of utility within the game, but...honestly they’re super right, she cannot possibly compete in AR.  Defense teams have no use for her, and offensive teams using her as a support are a bad idea with Panic Manor around.  Mostly Cecilia makes my heart hurt.  Come on, IS.  Null C-Disrupt Raven Tome when?  As with the other tiers, all dragons, bows, and daggers of this color are higher ranked.  That said, L!Lyn in T5.  Get fucked.  There’s also...absolutely nothing controversial about their T4 picks.  Green’s pretty well sorted, good job team.

The only colorless option with units in T6 are healers, where we have Azama, Mist, Wrys, Sakura, and Lissa.  Nothing controversial here.  In fact, nothing controversial in T5, either.  What is sad but super true, is that F!Grima’s here.  All the other colorless beasts and dragons are clustered in T1 and T2, but she’s down in T5.  Expiration refine when?  Felicia and Jaffar are the lowest ranked daggers, to no one’s surprise.  None of the bows are shocking either, except I’m kinda surprised Niles isn’t at least a little higher.  I feel like his massive Res must account for something when attempting to tank out the many ranged magic threats on AR-D, right?

Overall, I...actually agree with the majority of this.  It’s a solid tierlist for Aether Raids.  There are some things I don’t entirely agree with, but would have trouble arguing in their favor in the current meta.  Like Micaiah.  As we move entirely away from armor units, Micaiah becomes less and less significant.  I do think the blue dragon/beast section could take some revisiting, given that goddamn Naesala is down in T4, but one area that seems off isn’t bad when you have so much to organize.  I like it.  Definitely a lot better than the previous list, because at least now we’re specialized.  Before, there was always an argument that a certain unit was better or worse based on performance in a specific area.  But here, it’s more stable.  I’m not sure if there’s intent to make an Arena one, or if that’s even necessary since scoring is a lot more specific for Arena, but we’ll see.

[fan-pie]

The Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2014 Part 1

Hello everyone I am sorry for being gone for a while my personal life just caught up and yeah but I am back and with some opinions to share. I don't wanna go on too long of a rant so here are my rules: It must have been on the US, UK, or Canadian year end in 2014 and any song from a previous year end is not allowed, that's it lets recap some shit

Number 10

So a lot of people know by now that 2014 was a bad year I am one of the few people who actually liked it for reasons I don't know but the one thing about all the bad 2014 songs is there is barely anything to say about them.

10. Best Day of My Life - American Authors

Take my number 10 for example yeah its shit but I have nothing to say but I am here and I will try my damn best. So American Authors how bout those guys well they were fine, they never had a song that annoyed me of course besides this one witch will not leave my fucking radio and die, and thats all I have to say sure I could say its bland but about 7 others people have tho. I do have something to say about number 9 tho.

Number 9

9. My Love - Route 94 ft. Jess Glynne

Who the hell turned Jess into a gargoyle. Okay so I want you all to know this with the lyrics: My is said 41 times, Love is said 30 times, and the rest are said multiple times some what lower in the same vain so that makes 10 unique words making the lyrics fucking pointless. You already know how I feel about the vocals now lets talk about production holy shit this is bland, moving on.

Number 8

8. Amnesia - 5 Seconds of Summer

Okay let me something strait Looks So Perfect is decent. Its not amazing but I like it, now Amnesia is something I do hate but for reasons I know most of you will probably understand, this song was fuckin' everywhere and I hate how it was. So if you know me I listen to the radio a lot and back in 2014 and even sometimes now I here it everywhere and if I only heard it occasionally it would be meh sure the lyrics are bad but I actually like the production but the fact I have to here it everywhere drives me nuts, in conclusion stream Teeth so it can be a 2020 hit.

Number 7

Time for controversial take number 53

7. Habits (Stay High) - Tove Lo

I mean I don't know why this pick is controversial but for some reason it is, oh right the song. Yeah this one is bad for more stupid reasons like if you gotta stay high and your having fun why does this production sound so downer and bland. Also the vocals are the worst of 2014 besides 1 song witch will be in part 2, the vocals sound pitchy in some parts and Tove Lo sounds like she could not give two fucks witch would be good but this song is not the time for it, and thats it god damn this years worst song were so boring and lame.

Number 6

Not even gonna do anything lets just dive in.

6. All About That Bass - Meghan Trainor

So lets just analyse the lyrics cause that is what everyone really cares about with this song: "Because you know I'm all about that bass" stop calling your ass a bass, "Yeah, it's pretty clear, I ain't no size two But I can shake it, shake it, like I'm supposed to do" telling people you have to shake your ass for people and its what your supposed to do that is a level of fucked up I am not ready to touch, "Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase" don't call your ass that boom boom that is just stupid, and the worst offender "I'm bringing booty back Go 'head and tell them skinny bitches that No, I'm just playing, I know you think you're fat But I'm here to tell you... Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top" so you choose to call the girls skinny bitches and your bringing booty back then go "HA HA I am just joking lol" well that is probably the worst lyric of the 2010's. I hate this song so much I am so dumbfounded there were 5 worst song but at last there was.

----

Hey everyone thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed part 2 will be out soon, I am very sorry this is my latest post in a month a lot came up and yeah. Well I will see you next time bye.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep 43: Tea Can Just Knock Over Joey Wheeler With Her Index Finger

Guys guys guys, my favorite Character is back. That’s right--the storyboarder!

So this episode looked helllla nice for a Yugioh episode (again, this is Yugioh, it will win no awards.) It wasn’t as nice and fluid as the episode where they temporarily killed off Joey Wheeler, but I give it a good 2nd place.

You can tell we’re getting to the climax of the season because they’re throwing down their most entertaining art people onto the screen, giving us about 5 zillion dutch angle fashion close-ups of Marik’s cabbage face, and a whole lot of zany and hard to very hard to draw fish-eye lens angles of Pharaoh.

Also, everyone wears flared bell-bottom pants now. New stylistic decision, as decided just now. Everyone in pants now has flares. Even if their pants are cargo pants. How very 00′s. (my pants were flares from like birth until 2006, it was a good trend, super comfy, bring it back.)

(read more under the cut)

First off, Evil Marik decided to rewrite Marik history a little bit with some hilarious retconning that only the most evil Marik would think is legit.

I mean I was there when Marik was introduced and was a complete asshole all of S2. I remember when Odion considered murdering the hell out of his little brother because this Marik guy was such freakin tool and his Dad was an evil cultist bastard. I...I’m gonna go on a limb and assume that calling Marik a “loyal servant” is a freakin stretch. Marik made his choices. Yes, his bad side killed his Dad, but they have made sure to indicate that yes, this is the evil inside of Marik, something that he himself caused--but most of the things that Marik has done (with the exception of killing his own Dad) is still Marik. He did that.

The fact that his evil side can’t quite connect that his good side and evil side are at all the same however, is fitting for an evil Marik to think. More and more, Marik and Marik are becoming 2 different people, and this game is the deciding factor to finally give this guy full autonomy of his other half.

We’ve seen this type of contrast before with Bakura and Ryou--where Ryou and Bakura don’t really get along but have always been clearly different people, so the culpability of what they do tends to fall on Bakura. (which is a pretty GRAND assumption, I still think Ryou is a precious but absolutely still shady little bastard) So, it’s a little different that Marik considers himself two completely different people when it’s just...not the same. Marik’s alter ego is just an ego. More like how Yami was in Season Zero but a little bit more evil. Both Marik’s have the same upbringing and the same source.

It’s been kind of an interesting progression now I can look back on it, where slowly the two have been clashing to the point that they are in fact different, disparate people now. The fact that Marik points out how his situation similar to Yugi and Pharaoh being a host is almost like “well yeah, it would have been nice to see how the whole Season Zero Yami evolved into more of a separate person over time, I’m glad you inferred that, and I’ll never get to see it, thanks” But again, all that is inferred. Whether Yami Yugi eventually became Pharaoh over time or whether Pharaoh is a big retcon of Yami Yugi for the new series in order to keep the culpability for what he does off of Yugi Muto was never directly spoken in the show so it’ll be left to your fanfictions.

Meanwhile, Yugi has decided that they’re going to try and purify the Marik situation and save the good side. This is sort of the Yugioh thing, to dispel the bad forces from people and leave behind hollow husks, so yeah...it tracks. I mean...there’s very little Marik left to save, but it’s better than a husk, amiright? Better than what happened to freakin PaniK, RIP. I’m sure erasing over half of your identity will go over real well for Marik and be absolutely painless.

And then we had a lovely scene that, for those people doing scene redraws from anime, as has been a popular trend on art blogs lately--this is your episode for Yugioh. This episode’s got moody lighting, we’ve subdued all our weird ass colors into one concrete palate (remember how green the carpet used to be?) we got interesting elements of Marik being here despite being chopped into pieces. We got so many ellipses drawn in perspective (y’all I could write an entire posts just about ellipses but I’ll spare you). It’s like Yugioh gave itself a redraw.

I can’t believe this shot came out of freakin Yugioh.

Also, this guy was an ASSHOLE for the past 2 seasons but the show was like “time to make him likeable” and so they dropped some good ass cinematography and sung that sad backstory tune on the trumpet and you know what? It works.

+++++++++++++++RANT ABOUT REDEMPTION ARCS FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS MASSIVE WALL OF TEXT++++++++++++++++++++++++

Now I think the arc of Marik is pretty simple and people are pretty chill with it. But, I’m gonna talk about villain redemption arcs just in general--gonna sidetrack a little from Yugioh for a moment. Partly because I watched 6 seasons of Once Upon a Time, which is basically Villain Redemption Arc Controversy: The Show.

It bothers a hell ton of people when TV shows have to make a villain redeemable, but there’s only one episode left so they put their hands up and say “but I swear the good side of him was always good” But, does that mean Marik’s going to make up for all the murder and sending people to the shadow realm? No. He never will. Even if Marik was completely his bad half the whole time, it still wouldn’t make up for the damage done. Dead people are...DEAD.

Marik can’t actually make any choices right now to redeem his character. All he’s doing is accepting he will never be a full person ever again. Hence why he is in slices and pieces, and in several shots is trapped either in an empty glass or a window. The choice to redeem him is entirely on other people.

And that’s the thing about redemption arcs that I want to bring up--how much of a character’s redemption relies on what the villains do to “Make up for what they did”, and how much relies on everyone else to redeem them. I think the tendency is for people to assume that the villains should be doing 90-100% of the redeeming, but unless they have a time machine--they can’t do any. Even if they freakin die to sacrifice themselves it’s still like “that character was basically little Stalin, right?

I’ve seen like a million ways to write a redemption arc, but none of them, not a single one that I can think of, can ever truly make up for the things the villian has done. There’s no way that Darth Vadar was suddenly going to become a good Dad, no matter how many Palpatines he can toss into a...whatever that was at the end of that movie. That’s the riddle behind what makes redemption arcs so engaging--By all cultural standards these villains should always be tagged a “bad guy” but, we, the audience, are being challenged to ignore those standards.

And I know a lot of people see redemption arcs as a quasi-religious sort of adventure into atonement, where we’re supposed to see ourselves as the villain searching for some type of forgiveness from a higher, most-likely-a-reference-to-Jesus-power, but I don’t really see them that way. Maybe it’s because, I dunno, I haven’t killed anyone recently or possessed other people’s minds or strung them up to anchors and dropped them into the ocean. But if you see yourself as a Marik, then go for it, I won’t stop you.

But, to me, a redemption arc is more of a question posed for us as viewers. Since it is impossible for the writers to ever fully redeem a character, the only ones doing the redeeming are the people watching it, who’s reaction will differ wildly from person to person, and that’s what makes it fascinating.

And like, that’s my thesis here at the very last paragraph of this long meandering rant. Redemption arcs aren’t about “hey is this person good enough to be redeemed (because that will never happen)” it’s “are you too good to redeem that person?” It’s a large scale experiment on the viewers watching and that’s why it makes people so freakin pissed and uncomfortable. Every redemption arc calls them out directly, and for some people it’s just like--the world ends or something. I have seen actual internet mobs develop over...a villain redemption arc. Which is weird.

And so I’ll leave it with my other spicy take that...you don’t have to redeem every villain when the question is asked. I mean these aren’t real people. The questions of “would you redeem this person” is asked entirely hypothetically. And that’s what makes up stories, not just the interaction of the people inside the stories, but when it affects the moral structure of the readers directly, and seeing how for some people, that can be a very intense and deep reflection. (which usually leads to a hell ton of either retconning fanfiction or a hell ton of really, really angry posts)

bro’s just told me that Yugioh is just a redemption arc for season 0 Yami Yugi. Bro and his spicy headcanons. This one holds some water though, lol.

++++++++++++END OF A SUPER LONG RANT ABOUT VILLAINS THAT I HELD IN FOR THE ENTIRE 6 SEASONS OF ONCE UPON A TIME, WOW A LOT OF PEOPLE HAD OPINIONS ABOUT CERTAIN CHARACTERS THAT THEY JUST EXPECTED EVERYONE ELSE TO HAVE, AMIRIGHT????+++++++++++

Anyway, back to jokes.

Again, Storyboarder just...nailing these weird ass shoes that are somewhere between a dress shoe and a boot. Shoes are hard to draw, y’all. This storyboarder. And they even made sure that the shoes looked very small and precious the way Yugi shoes would be. Little Cinderella size 5 Yugi shoes.

Oh finally.

So it was only a matter of time before the people who actually care about being possessed noticed this situation, it just took like...a season longer than I thought it would. I’ll be honest it was quite cathartic for them to actually address for the first time in what feels like a long time “SHOOT, GHOSTS!?!?”

Although it was kind of funny that the biggest reaction to all of this came straight from Joey. Yugi still doesn’t care, Tristan’s decided to just accept this, and Duke is just slowly backing away. But Joey’s going to try and do the work that Yugi should have done last episode.

HOT DAMN.

So, lets go over the Yugioh power chart here. Tristan can punch out Bakura. Tristan can also defeat Seto Kaiba with a broomstick. Joey can kick Tristan, even when Tristan is armed with a broomstick, so hard that Tristan flew through a metal door and bent it completely over backwards. Tea, however, can knock Joey completely over with one single index finger.

How has this girl ever been abducted? Was she just bored?

Bro wants to bring up that she once incapacitated a man with her butt. Just falling on top of a guy and hitting him with her butt of steel. Was she even in danger from the shipping container when she could just bat it away? She once choked out Season 0 Yugi Muto. She was always fine.

Credit to Joey, he keeps trying, and it gives us, for the first time, a sneak peek into what it must be like for Yugi and Joey to hang out on the offtimes that Yugi switches over and Pharaoh hasn’t quite gotten the memo.

This is in fact, the second time that she’s done this.

(meanwhile, sitting next to Odion, is one single cargo pocket floating in the air, gently smoking a purple haze like incense)

Welcome back Odion! I only now just realized how freakin jacked your neck is.

Like y’all his neck is wider than his head, hot damn.

Anyway, this show is secretly all about the power of big brothers, so I assume he’s going to start the mile long crawl to the top of the tower and then just...walk in...just walk right into a shadow game...?

...no one thought to stay with Odion? Like not even Serenity? Or at least leave him a weelchair? what the hell?

Odion always gets the worst wrap, this poor guy.

Anyway if you just got here, this is a link to read these recaps in chrono order from the beginning and watch my progression of knowing nothing about Yugioh to knowing a lot about random facts about Yugioh but still knowing absolutely nothing at all just like Socrates.

And here’s that shot of Marik for y’alls anime scene redraws, knock yourself out.

[chopperpirate]

MCU Retrospective

I've decided to, in honor of Avengers Endgame, write about my thoughts on the MCU as a whole. Well, obviously I love it, but am cautiously optimistic about its future. It's easily one of my favorite film franchises, and though I don't think it ever really reaches the highs of The Dark Knight, it's better than any other Superhero related thing in the realm of Live-Action film, with the only things like Logan and The Dark Knight surpassing it in my heart. I still think DC animated films can sometimes be better, but it shouldn't be a competition.

I've been seeing people participating in this "One Marvelous Scene" thing lately, so I'll do that as well after ranking every MCU film I've seen from best to worst. I won't bore you with too much writing, though because I know I'll get flack, I'll try to justify my top and bottom 5 with some comments. With that said, here's Chopperpirate Mun's MCU film ranking!

Guardians of the Galaxy  Vol. 2 - Anyone who knows me knows how much I love things that value the connections between ragtag "nakama" who aren't related by blood, but were brought together by circumstance and are now the closest thing each member has to family. Not to mention that this film has emotional payoffs for Nebula and Gamora's heartfelt rivalry, Rocket's tsundere hangups, and Peter's heritage that I'd say are all easily the most emotional resonant things out of the MCU. The comedy in the film is probably only rivaled by Thor: Ragnarok. My two personal favorite jokes being the Mary Poppins bit, and Drax shouting "MANTIS! LOOK OUT!" mere seconds after Mantis was already hit and knocked unconscious.

The highlight for comedy is easily Drax, but his speech to Mantis about why her perceived ugliness is a good thing because if someone loves you despite your ugliness, they love you for who you are, really might be one of my favorite moments in the film. Same with Yondu's speech to Rocket about how they're the same. Believe it or not, I cried more during Yondu's death than I did for Tony Stark's in Endgame. I can't really tell you why. Something about his last line just reminded me of Whitebeard from One Piece.

Yondu's death scene aside, my favorite scene in the film is easily when he, Groot, and Rocket are slaughtering the traitor Ravengers to the tune of "Come a Little Bit Closer."

On that note, the villains of this film are some of the best. They aren't bland, generic evil points of contention for the film to have a climax! Taser Face is hilarious, The Sovereign are hilariously arrogant and I find the fact that they only engage in combat through arcade simulations to be perfect for their personalities, and Ego might be the best Marvel Villain besides Loki up until that point in the MCU. The reveal that he killed Meredith was shocking, and might very well be the best "Wham Line" in the MCU to this date. His death scene showed a lot of depth to Peter, and like a good villain, he had a lot of parallels and contrasts to the protagonist instead of just having a clone of their abilities for the sake of a final boss fight.

The Winter Soldier - Captain America at his finest. Bucky was awesome, Black Widow was finally given a lot of vulnerabilities and depth as she bonded with Steve, Falcon was alright, HYDRA as a collective is an amazing source of paranoia fuel, and this movie might have the best action out of any MCU film, or at least my personal favorite brand of action. Instead of CG magic and shit, we get to see visceral knife fights, punches, kicks, and close-quarters martial arts. It's surprisingly brutal for a PG-13 film. I recall one point where Bucky kicks a SHIELD agent into a helicopter propeller.

As for my favorite scene in this film, I'd have to say it's the Elevator sequence. The build up was perfectly suspenseful, and the payoff of the line "Before we get started, does anyone want to get off?" felt badass and perfect for the character of Captain America, who, instead of being snide or arrogant, shows that he's ready to fight, while willing to let his enemies back out if they so choose.

This film might also be Nick Fury's finest. I was very disappointed that Captain Marvel didn't enhance the character more than this film did, but oh well. The way Fury communicated words with Steve while showing him what he really meant through writing was clever while also perfectly exemplifying his character. Fury is very secretive, never showing vulnerability or letting himself get attached to others, yet we can tell from his actions and concerns that he is a good person, even if he isn't a nice person. The way he says one meaningless thing while displaying another more pressing thought really shows that the Russos understood the character.

Infinity War - The Empire Strikes Back of the MCU. Thanos is an amazing villain protagonist, and arguably the only character with a full arc in this film, Gamora is probably at her most interesting here, and a lot of the interactions between characters who never got to interact before this film are some of my favorites. I'm especially fond of the chemistry between Doctor Strange and Tony Stark.

Despite how dark and serious this film is, it understands how to keep up dramatic tension while never losing its sense of humor. The same film with Vision dying willingly and pointlessly at the hands of his lover is the film with lines like "Why is Gamora" and "I am Steve Rogers." It's probably the most perfect film in the MCU in terms of story structure and emotional stakes. It's just lower than the ot hers because it lacks the personal love from me that the above films had.

Avengers: Endgame - Now that I've had time to stew on it, this film isn't as good as Infinity War, but it's still great. To clarify, Infinity War was a better structured film and a more entertaining one for the most part. I'd say the first two acts of Endgame were somewhat weak by comparison, but the final 1/3 was so perfect that it almost tempted me to rank it above Infinity War, even if Captain Marvel's presence ruins a lot of things.

I want to remain positive for the most part here, so I won't talk about too many of my gripes, but because I know I'll get asked why I think Captain Marvel ruins the stakes, let me explain. In the MCU, Captain Marvel can canonically move at Lightspeed, and probably faster too. So... when she got the Infinity Gauntlet in the final act's little "Hot Potato" portion, why didn't she just fly to another galaxy and hide the gauntlet away with some trusted civilization, come back to help defeat Thanos' army, then bring the gauntlet back to return the stones to their timelines? Remember, because of this plot hole of MCU Carol Danvers being so overpowered and fast, yet not doing anything to help, Tony Stark is dead. � We know the meta reason is because RDJ and most of the Phase 1 actors are done, but you guys can now totally blame Captain Marvel for it In-Universe.

Positives though! This film made me genuinely love Nebula. She fits so well with The Avengers (arguably better than with the GotG), and the small details of her pity and attachment to Thanos during his early death adds a lot of pathos to her character. Thor's "Big Lebowski" phase was hilarious, Tony and Thor getting closure with their dad/mom respectively was sweet, and the final battle was one of the greatest spectacles to behold. I don't know if it's controversial or not, but I personally loved that Captain America got his happy ending (even if it creates a huge plot hole with this movie's time travel rules). It just lacked the oomph of Infinity War.

Thor Ragnarok - This film saved Thor, made him entertaining and interesting, and gave us yet another great villain in the form of The Grandmaster! It has a similar issue, villain-wise, in my opinion, to Black Panther, in that the secondary villain is far more entertaining than the main villain. Great comedy, Loki's redemption is emotionally fulfilling, and Korg is my MCU waifu. My only issue is that Hela is kind of boring, and the stuff on Sakaar is far more engaging than the "important" plot.

Guardians of the Galaxy The Avengers Spider-Man: Homecoming Iron Man Doctor Strange Captain America: Civil War Iron Man 3 Ant-Man Ant-Man and the Wasp Captain America: The First Avenger Iron Man 2 Black Panther - Very overrated. T'Challa is far less interesting here than he was in Civil War, Wakanda is far better in Infinity War... Really, it's not a "bad" movie. It's just not that special. It's more comparable to the Phase 1 films between Iron Man and Avengers than it is to, say, Wolverine Origins. Glad I saw it. Wouldn't see it again. Didn't care of Killmonger either. Sue me.

Avengers: Age of Ultron - This gets... better on rewatch, but it still sucks. It's a garbage standalone movie, but if you look at it as an in-between film that's setting up things for the Thanos arc, it's actually not so bad. Could've used more scenes like the "Trying to lift Mjolnir," or "chilling at Hawkeye's house" scenes. Just The Avengers hanging out and interacting in low-stakes environments. Instead we get empty, loud, almost Michael Bay-esque action scenes.

Thor: The Dark World - On rewatch, it was surprisingly more entertaining than Thor 1 in a lot of ways. Mostly involving Loki. The human characters, especially Jane and her friend, are horribly boring, and I think we should be thankful that Natalie Portman left the MCU out of frustration for her character being an empty love-interest! She made the right call. Thor isn't really interesting yet, but at least the death of his mother gives him and Loki some legitimate character arcs.

Thor - Eh... it's just kinda bland. Not much to comment on. Loki isn't really fun yet, the human characters are boring, and Thor is probably the least interesting Phase One Avenger aside from Edward Norton's Bruce Banner. It has its moments, but on my most recent MCU rewatch, we were most bored with this one.

Captain Marvel - The most insulting installment of the MCU. Captain Marvel insults people for having those evil Y chromosomes. It's the story of a strong, brave, powerful, beautiful, flawless, overpowered woman who just wants to... umm... be an Air Force Pilot, I guess. She's apparently never met a supportive male in her whole 30+ years of living, because all of her memories are of cartoonish archetypes of men with 1940s values telling her that she can't become a pilot. After all "You know why it's called the cockpit, right?" Ugh...

Not only is the feminist message forced, but it's one of those negative feminist messages that I hate so much. Instead of preaching equality between the two genders, women being just as good as men, it preaches that women are amazing, brave, beautiful, powerful creatures and men are pathetic morons who underestimate women at all times. There's even a scene where her father is yelling at her for crashing a Go-Kart in pure anger and disdain instead of, I dunno... calling a doctor and worrying about his injured child? This movie is... ugh...

Carol herself is either boring and unremarkable or irritatingly condescending depending on the scene's writer. If I recall there were like... 4 or 5 different writers and it really shows. But anyway, she's annoying. She constantly "Womansplains" things to Nick Fury, and her tone is just so smug that it makes me want to slap her. Listen to the way she says "I'm here to stop the shapeshifters that are infiltrating your planet. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you?" It's so demeaning to have Nick Fury, the coolest character whose presence is so demanding and badass that even god-tiers like Thor and a war veteran like Cap shut up and listen when he speaks, be talked to by an unproven character just so Kevin Feige can get some feminist brownie points.

This carries into Endgame where she basically calls Rocket "furrball" and retorts his complaint by harshly explaining why she's not around. In response to this, Rocket, who is characterized in the first film by getting so angry at being called names for his oddities that he almost attempted to murder Drax for it in the bar, simply nods, lowers his head, and says "that's a good point" in a defeated tone. WOW! YOU GO GIRL! CAPTAIN MARVE IS SO TOUGH THAT SHE CAN TALK DOWN TO NICK FURY AND ROCKET AND THEY KNOW BETTER THAN TO COMPLAIN! WOOOOW!

Speaking of feminism, the movie skims over the whole "Air Force discrimination" subplot within under a minute, so we can't really connect to that. As such, one would expect the fact that she's "the most powerful hero in the MCU" to be the big feminist selling point, but she didn't work for that power at all. She got it through sheer coincidence by standing too close to the Tesseract powered engine before it exploded. As such, I suppose the moral is, "Girls! If you wanna be a strong, brave hero, go stand next to an exploding engine!" If so, I caution all viewers to not do that.

Nick Fury is mostly okay in this movie, but he feels underutilized. The retcon of his eye being scratched out by Goose is embarrassing and infuriating. It makes the line from Winter Soldier "Last time I trusted someone, I lost an eye," meaningless and if you were to count this movie as non-canon because of it, I'd be right there with you. He just keeps getting demeaned and treated as a joke, and strangely, the eye retcon isn't even the worst part. I groaned even harder when Carol's friend's daughter says she might build a space ship some day, Fury doesn't know. And Carol replies by saying "You're right, he doesn't know." Pushing the feminist message by knocking Fury down a peg instead of by preaching equality. :\ It wasn't like he said anything misogynistic throughout this film, so I have no idea why he's often the film's punching bag.

Oh, and just a side-note. You wanna know something hilarious? That friend's daughter shows Carol some photos of them together from six years ago. Literally the same actress. Literally the same age in the photo. This child hasn't aged a day in 6 years, so I welcome you to reply with some crack theories so that we can call the writers geniuses instead of incompetence? Is the kid a watcher? A time lord?

Incredible Hulk - Boring, boring, boring. Edward Norton was always a terrible Bruce Banner, the plot is as generic a hulk story as you can imagine, and the character of "Bruce Banner" is almost nonexistent aside from turning into The Hulk when stressed. This Bruce Banner is a handsome, tall, athletic martial artist. If I had to praise it anywhere, the fight between Hulk and Abomination toward the end is actually pretty decent, but aside from that, this film is an embarrassment. It's very telling that the MCU and all its executives swept this one under the rug. It's difficult to find in your Best Buy's "Marvel Studios" section.

There. Proceed to insult my opinions. :D

[bewaremylove]

In Novermber (?) 1974, John Lennon interviewed himself for Andy Warhol’s Interview Magazine. The interview, as the title in the pictures say, is conducted by/on John Lennon, and/or Dr Winston O’boogie. For those who don’t know, Dr Winston O’boogie is a pseudonym John used to use. 

Here, John talks about Walls And Bridges, seeing UFO’s in New York, producing other artists’ albums, Klein and how “he was unfaithful”,the other beatles, and sex with men... Of course Paul and Brian were brought into this... *snort*

The interview is rather long. You can enlarge the pictures above, or read the transcript that I will add below. 

Disclaimer: The pictures aren’t mine. Credit goes by whoever originally released them on the internet. 

INTERVIEW:

Q. Well, er, John it's been a long time no speak....

A. Has it been that long?

Q. Probably, anyway, what have you been doing since we last talked?

A. Oh, the usual.......

Q. I see, well, weren't you supposed to be making an oldies album with Phil (for is it he) Spector?

A. Yes, we started in '73, but it never ended, even Alex beeinhisbonnet Bennett noticed that.

Q. Then suddenly, as it were, you were working with that great radio star, Harry (Buckminster) Nilsson.

A. Quite right! I produced his album, "Pussycats" out now, at a reasonable discount, then went on to make my own reasonably wonderful album, "Walls And Bridges" out now, which includes the fast rising single, "Whatever Gets You Thru The Night" featuring my close friend and fiancee, Elton John, on piano and vocal harmony.

Q. Do you feel that you new album, "Walls And Bridges" is a step forward in your never ending search for artistic fulfillment, the struggle of the lonely........

A. I went to party in L.A., just to look at Liz Taylor, was I thrilled to meet her, and on top of everything, who, but who, do you think was all over her armpit? None other than the great, great show, David The Bowie! Wow! Was I thrilled to see that they were both smaller than me!

Q. The track I liked best was that miserable one about "Nobody loves you when......."

A. And Brian Wilson was there too and Ringo and Elton, and it was somebody's 21st.......

Q. Do you mean smaller physically?

A. I feel quite happy about the album. "Walls And Bridges" out now, the tittle of which, was sent from above in the guise of a public service announcement.

Q. How How! I was meaning to ask you, John, what you thought of the Bealtefest, and why you didn't go, and are you getting back together again, how's your immigration, and is it true about you and.......

A. Great. Nervous. You never know. Very appealing. If you want to help, write your congressperson, or some such similar.....

Q. About those dreadful stories that came out of L.A. with you and Harry, etc.....

A. Mostly fiction, with a grain of alcohol....

Q. I mean you don't have to answer, but did you rape a waitress in the Rainbow.....?

A. I never actually laid a hand on anyone, in fact, it was impossible, I was carried out...

Q. But.... But.... Todd Rudgren said that you.......

A. That's what you get for reading fanzines.

Q. Do you like glitter?

A. Yes.

Q. Talking of the Beatlefest, didn't you find it strange that David Peel and Alex Beeinhisbennet were both there playing 5th Beatle?

A. Yes! Considering that the day before I'd seen Peel on cable TV screaming about the Beatles ripping people off etc. etc... Alex? Well, he's sooo controversial! He's just getting into Andy Warhol you know, he's very deep.

Q. Didn't you produce an album of Peel's for Apple?

A. Yes, one of the highlights of my career!

Q. Who else have you produced records for in you astonishing but sometimes perfectly ordinary life?

A. Elephant's Memory, Yoko, Harry... myself.

Q. Now that you've been living in N.Y. 3 years, do you still....

A. If you look closely at the wonderful "Walls And Bridges", out now, album package, you will notice a little notice saying, "I saw a U.F.O..." why don't you ask me about that?

Q. Oh, I hadn't noticed, did you really... where you drunk? high? having a primal?

A. No. Actually I was very straight. I was lying naked on my bed, when I had this urge...

Q. Don't we all...?

A. So I went to the window, just dreaming around in my usual poetic frame of mind, to cut a long short story, there, as I turned my head, hovering over the next building, no more than a hundred feet away was this thing... with ordinary electric light bulbs flashing on and off round the bottom, one non blinking red light on top.... what the Nixon is that! I says to myself (for no one else was there)... Is it a helicopter? No! It makes no noise... ah then, it must be a ballon! (Frantically trying to rationalize it, in all my too human way) but no!! Balloons don't look like that, nor do they fly so low, yes folks, it was flying (very slow, about 30 m.p.h.,) below.... I repeat, below most roof tops (i.e. higher than the 'old building' lower than the 'new'.) all the time it was there, I never took my eyes off it, but I did scream to a friend who was in another room "Come and look at this" etc. etc. My friend came running and bore witness with me. Nobody else was around. We tried to take pictures (shit on my polaroid, it was bust) with a straight camera. We gave the film to Bob Gruen to develop, he brought back a blank film.... said it looked like it had been thru the radar at customs.... well, it stayed around for a bit, then sailed off.......

Q. Did you check to see.......

A. Yeh, yeh, the next day Bob (is it in focus) Gruen rang the Daily News, Times, police to see if any one else reported any thing. Two other people and or groups of/ said they too saw something..... anyway I know what I saw.......

Q. Aren't you afraid of people won't believe you.... crazy Lennon/Maharishi/etc....

A. That's just one of the many burdens I will have to bear in this day of waterbabies, inflation, generation crap, highly influential but not untidy....

Q. That's very brave of you, John, talking of Marharishi, what is the concept behind your new album, "Walls And Bridges," out now?

A. It's an unconcept album....

Q. But it has to have one.......

A. No it doesn't

Q. Yes it does.. take the first track for instance "Going Down On Love," that seems to be saying something....

A. Next you'll be asking me who "Steel And Glass" is about (3rd track side 2..).. I can tell you who it isn't about, for instance, it's not about Jackie Kennedy, Mort Sahl, Sammy Davis, Better Midler... Eartha Kitt, it's not about her either....

Q. It's not Paul again... is it? I mean you two are like... I mean grow up...

A. Wrong again.

Q. Everyone's saying this is your best album since Imagine... how do you feel?

A. I prefer the "Mother/Working Class Hero" then "Imagine" album myself.. Anyway, I suppose anything you do is either better or worse than something or other, I mean, that's how we seem to categorize things..... it's probably the way we remember.... it helps us remember... "this fish tastes as good as the fish we had in St. Tropez, but not as nice as the one Arthur caught off Long Island, do you remember that fish and chip shop in Blackpool..."

Q. I'm supposed to keep this up for a few more pages... when actually I'd finished the whole thing on "do you like glitter?"

A. Yes.

Q. It's so hard to think of questions to ask you, I mean, you must have been asked nearly everything over that last few year... is there anything you'd like to say, you know, instead of just answering these dumb... I mean you can say ANTYTHING YOU WANT.... I'm sure you mus have something to say that you haven't said already.......

A. Not really.......

Q. Oh.......

A. I'll ask you one. Why does Roman Polansky always wear the same suit?

Q. I'm stumped.

A. To get to the other side! Silly!

Q. My turn... What happened between you and Klein?

A. He was unfaithful.......

Q. I mean, you always seem to get in so DEEP, with things, then the next minute...

A. To get to the other side! Silly!

Q. That's deep... do you see much of the other ex Beatles? Or is it a sore point?

A. I love my little Beatles... I've seen a lot of Ringo... cause he comes to America a lot, as you know, I can't leave here or they'd do a Charlie Chaplin on me and I don't want an award at sixty, telling me how wonderful I used to be, but not quite wonderful enough to be allowed to live here now.... Paul, Ringo and I spent some nice afternoons in L.A. He (Paul and Linda) also came to visit in New York recently, and we had a great evening reminiscing.. in fact, it was two great evenings... which reminds me... only yesterday... to coin a phrase.... he and lovely Linda sent me a heartwarming telegram about my new album, "Walls And Bridges," out now...

Q. Don't you ever stop name dropping and plugging your album, "Walls And Bridges," out now?

A. Not if I can help it!

Q. It is rather gross, John....

A. 20% in fact....

Q. How cute! I see you never mentioned George... is there something....

A. No it's just that he hasn't been here in such a long time.

Q. Is it true you and Ringo are going to appear with him on his upcoming tour?

A. Not on your nelly! Just another rumour Dr.....

Q. Why not? It sounds like fun...

A. No one ever asked... and he probably wants all the loot for himself...

Q. That's a little bitter sounding, John, people might get the wrong idea....

A. No, it's just a pleasant reality, my dear, nothing more nothing less..

Q. Todd Rundgren said you were a "fucking idiot" in an english rock paper, what do you have to say to that?

A. I appreciate his concern...

Q. Is that all you're going to say.. I mean aren't you going to be bitingly witty or something?

A. Well.. I did write a little something... I sent it to the Melody Maker.. the trouble it.... I quite like the little rabbit....

Q. Have you any plans to go on tour? Like it's a long time since... what was it... Geraldo?..

A. I haven't got a band. It's not that easy without a band, I mean, you've got to start from scratch... I get a lot of offers to do benefits.. it makes me guilty to refuse... trouble is... the people that ask, don't understand the business...

Q. That sounds like a copout, John, if you don't mind me saying so...

A. Well, you're entitled to your opinion... I also get BIG MONEY offers too... but that doesn't make the job easier... slightly more interesting but...

Q. I HEAR YOU'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF RADIO.......

A. In connection with my new album, "Walls And Bridges," out now...

Q. How do you like being a d.j.?

A. Actually... I really enjoy it.. I was brought up on it... Radio, I mean,.. I've been thinking of doing something regular... for a few years now...I don't mean just playing records... but like, making tapes and... I wouldn't like to get stuck in there, you know, with formats and such... I thought the best thing to do would be to, you know, just make tapes and put them on W.B.A.I., Pacifica or whatever, they could have any money etc.. and I'd have fun... maybe I will.... I just never seem to get around to it.... tho I was talking to an old ex radio friend, Elliot (after dinner) Mintz, on the west coast, he said he'd love to help.... you know... well who knows....

Q. I'm sure a lot of people would love to....

A. Yes, yes quite.

Q. Talking of radio, I heard that you and... of all people... Howard Cosell... were going to do something together...

A. On radio, yes, I only heard about it today myself... hmmmm.. interesting..

Q. It's your birthday soon and you will be 34.. doesn't that worry you... you know 'aging pacifist, rock star crinkles before our eyes'.. that kind of thing..

A. 9th of October... send presents to Lennon Music, 1370 Ave. of the Americas, 6th floor... I quite like feeling the way I do, since thirty etc., in fact, it feels better than say 24... it's the sound of it, it SOUNDS sort of scary... you know.. life simply flashing by... and me still trying to get in the top ten and all... but it feels ok.

Q. Do you think you'll make any more movies, I mean, appear in them, like that Dick LEster thing... "How I Won The War?"

A. The main thing I learned from that... when was it 66/67? was that it's BORING, sitting 'round waiting for the director.. he has all the fun... not that I'm actually inundated with offers... but the things that do come my way are sort of... I think shit is the word I'm looking for.

Q. How about writing music for movies?

A. Well obviously I get offered more of that kind of thing, but it would have to really interest me.

Q. Why are you typing this as if someone was here with you, asking all these things?

Q. It makes a change... anyway, I enjoy typing... I only learned it last year... but my neck IS beginning to hurt and it's getting a bit boring..

Q. I'm sorry. Just a few more questions MR. LENNON, I'm sure you understand I have a deadline... my editor... etc..

A. Alright then, GET ON WITH IT!

Q. Have you ever fucked a guy?

A. Not yet, I thought I'd save it til I was 40, life begins at 40 you know, tho I never noticed it.

Q. It is trendy to be bisexual and you're usually 'keeping up with the Jones', haven't you ever... there was talk about you and PAUL...

A. Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein... anyway I'm saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc.. etc..

Q. It seems like you're saving quite a lot for when you're 40..

A. Yes, there might be nothing better to do, tho I don't believe it.

Q. Your life must be so Glamorous being a superstar and meeting people like Howard Cosell and Mayor Beame...

A. I havent met either of them...

Q. Well, you know what I mean... because of my association with you, people are always asking me 'What's he really like,' how can I them you're just a beautiful, shy, modest, amazingly creative, paranoid pop star?

A. Shucks! You dont have to do that, just listen to my new album, "Walls And Bridges," out now..!

Q. Of course, on the other hand, you're a fucking ego maniac...

A. Of course, but who isn't?

Q. Off hand I can't name one...

A. Well, if you find one let's go and interview him/her/it...

Q. What a jolly idea. Perhaps we could get a commission.. you know a sort of wandering Jill Johnston.

A. I bought her a pair of shoes once, she's never forgiven me! Didn't somebody buy the Village Voice? It seems to have changed a litte, mainly in the way they squash the front page up... does Jan Wenner own it or what?

Q. No, it's just keeping up...

A. With the Times... we all know that one... I don't care what Lori Sebastian says, I've had enough of this... anyway it's not as if I'm on the cover or anything, I mean jeeze, I love Andy and everything, but this is it!

With that Mr. Lennon showed me the door, which was white. He was wearing jeans and a Mick Jagger tee-shirt. I wore a certain look.

[writingsofawanderingwonderer]

Katy's Everything Wrong With Bob's "Everything Wrong With CinemaSin's 'Everything Wrong With Sherlock Holmes'"

vvv Read more line here. vvv

Alternate title: Why CinemaSins shouldn't be destroyed.

Another alternate title: That One Controversial Essay That's Finally Going to Lead to Me Getting Eaten Alive by People on Twitter. Maybe.

Okay, so to get you old corks up to speed: Recently, there's been a surge, and absolute pandemic, of YouTube videos cropping up titled something along the lines of, "Everything Wrong With CinemaSin's Everything Wrong With _______", wherein the video nitpicks (their words, not mine) CinemaSins' nitpicks of a film. There have also been a bunch of comments on Twitter and YouTube saying that CinemaSins should pack up their things and hop it. To stop making their videos.

This is where I come in. And you reading this comes in.

It's hard for me to explain why I'm making this essay. Maybe it's because I want to play the Devil's Advocate in a contained, spaced environment. Maybe I want to give everyone reading this a different perspective on the matter; something to mull over and consider and take away before we decide to write something off as "bad" or "useless" or of low quality. Maybe I consider CinemaSins an old friend and I'd like to speak up for them, even though it's hard because I'm not used to voicing an unpopular opinion out loud, and I'm super-nervous about this. Maybe it's because I want to give a meta statement about how you can nitpick a nitpicker who nitpicks another nitpicker, and that continually nitpicking the next nitpicker will either create a wondrous nitpickception that we can all learn from, or spiral out of control into a lesson that nickpicking nitpickers nitpicking is a futile effort...

But for some reason, I've been overcome with a fierce desire to write this.

So, there you go. I'm making this now.

To structure this academic essay, I'm going to use an "Everything Wrong With CinemaSin's Everything Wrong With _______" video to make several counter-arguments. I'll be using Everything Wrong With "Everything Wrong With Sherlock Holmes" by Bobvids. (Thank you, Bobvids, for letting me use your video as an example. You're quite a trooper and a good sport! And I love your editing style!).

To add upon Bobvid's video's goal, this essay's goal is to nitpick a video nitpicking another video.

Nitpickception?

*cricket chirps*

Ahem. This essay's goal is also, like all my essays here, for educational purposes. Albeit, in a roundabout way.

To keep track of things, I'll add timestamps and quotes from Bobvid's video as I comment on them. I will skip over some parts of the video to prevent this essay from being over a hundred years long.

0:49 Bob: Why call them "movie sins"? One of the CinemaSins guys said it was "[...] because it's a more flexible & nebulous definition." But I guess they never realized "sins" has an extremely negative connotation. Of all the words they could've used, "sins" is the least flexible or nebulous.

Me: They're called "sins" because "no movie is without sin," as their slogan goes (the implication being that any film, no matter how beautiful, wonderful, and perfect it is, has flaws and should be discussed and acknowledged on some level. Because that's how future films grow as an art form. By learning from the past's mistakes). The word "sins" is nebulous because we all contain it, no matter how good or bad we are. He sins. You sin a little. They sin a lot. And I'm sinning right now. So it really is a flexible and nebulous definition.

1:14 Bob: Why have a movie sin timer when YouTube tells you exactly how long a video is?

Me: Because it's a reference/homage to the "gate" used in filmmaking. The "gate" is a black border placed around a piece of film or storyboard that lists the time, scene number, and name of the person who submitted the shot. When I'm animating professionally, I'm given a gate that lists these things, and every time I hand in a shot, I have to "check the gate" as the old filmmaker's term puts it, to make sure everything's in order. The gate even times the frame number (like the CinemaSins' timer and unlike YouTube's video timer), which is super important to include, because it makes it easier for a supervisor to give feedback ("Katy, could you please fix the foot-clipping issue that appears on frame 298? Thanks!"). So YouTube actually doesn't tell you exactly how long a video is (which is very, very frustrating if, like me, you like using YouTube videos as animation reference and want to scrub between individual frames without using an app like Reeview.it Player or Anilyzer)

Me: Here's an example of a film gate:

1:24 Bob: Why is the text of what's being said showing up at the bottom of the screen? Not only is it redundant, but YouTube lets you upload subtitles which is easier to do than premiere titles, lets viewers disable it if they don't need it, and also lets you edit text after the video's uploaded.

Me: Because, 1) the average YouTuber genuinely doesn't know all of YouTube's features, including toggling closed captions (seriously, I've seen several YouTube commenters complain that a person in a video was talking too fast, not realising that you can turn on subtitles and/or adjust the speed of the video. Youtube kinda makes it a wee bit tricky to find all its hidden features. Did you know that you can change the sub's font typeface, colour, and size? Did you know you can scrub through video frames using "," and "." but only sometimes? Well, now you know. You're welcome.)

Me: And, 2) Because YouTube's subtitles do not properly time (nor fit) all of its text onto the screen in full sentences if the speaker is talking fast or saying a lot, making the subtitles cut off midsentence. It is this for exact reason why it was so challenging and annoying for me to transcribe what you were saying throughout this video! And why is was MUCH EASIER for me to transcribe CinemaSins' subtitles in comparison (my typing fingers hurt soooo much right now). CinemaSins' method lets the viewer read subtitles in full and complete sentences, taking things in in a easier-to-digest way. They've also used it for gags where they change the font typeface or size midsentence to add emphasis.

Me: First image: Bobvids subtitles for CinemaSins (note how it's cut off midsentence). Second image: CinemaSins' subtitles (see how they're easier to read?).

Me: Also, why the Dickens did you subtitle CinemaSins if their subtitles are already in their part of the video? Isn't that hypocritically-and-ironically-redundant?!

1:37 CinemaSins: This film production logo is so ballsy I straight up have no idea what company it's for. But good job on being ballsy enough to NOT include your name, mystery production company.

Bob: That's Silver Pictures. You may know them from producing Weird Science, Lethal Weapon, Predator, Die Hard, Road House, Demolition Man, and The Matrix. They're allowed to have some balls.

Me: In all fairness, I literally haven't seen any of those movies you've mentioned (Weird Science looks interesting, I'll check that one out. I've now added it to my library list.) except for The Matrix, which I didn't really like due to its lack of humour and its tonal issues. So using a nameless logo really doesn't help you get more people to know about your company if they're unfamiliar with it or have forgotten what your logo looks like. So why do it? Pointless! Mad as a hatter!

2:25 CinemaSins: Robert Downey, Jr. is a handsome, fun, charismatic lead actor... who cannot do an English accent to save his life. Is it too much to ask that SHERLOCK HOLMES actually be British?

Me: I think CinemaSins is making note on "cultural appropriation," a prevalent thing in Hollywood (an American actor playing an English character), rather than literally how well an actor can do an accent. I mean, when oh when are we going to see a film where Simon Pegg plays Sherlock Holmes?! We're waiting!

2:58 CinemaSins: I don't know how good at deductive reasoning he is, but he wouldn't have been able to guess that that guy had a floating rib.

Bob: It's easy to guess considering floating ribs are the last two sets of ribs on your rib cage and are a natural part of human anatomy, which Sherlock is proficient in.

Me: It's NOT easy to deduce, considering the GUY IS WEARING CLOTHES, THEREBY COVERING HIS RIBS SO YOU CAN'T TELL IF HE HAS FLOATING RIB SYNDROME. Also, SHERLOCK IS CURRENTLY ENGAGING IN A FIGHT WITH SAID GUY. Have you ever tried to assess the state of a guy's ribs while having a fisticuff with him?

Me: Also, you used like the third Google image result that appears when you search "floating ribs," and I don't know how to feel about that, because I think you should have used the fourth Google image result instead, as that diagram illustrates things more clearly in my opinion (it shows the ribcage from the front, which was how Sherlock was viewing the man, rather than from the back).

3:21 CinemaSins: This guy seems to be late to the ceremony. He also didn't get the memo that they all didn't have to wear the hooded robes.

Bob: It's explained later that this is Lord Coward, who is using a robe to hide his identity.

Me: Yes, but WE, the audience, don't know that at this point in the film. So as we watch this for the first time, we're all thinking to ourselves, "Why aren't all the people wearing dark robes?!" Confusion that's resolved through later context is still confusion.

Me: Also, that joke made me laugh and reminded me of that absolutely ridiculous "robes scene" from the movie Dungeons and Dragons.

Me: And let's address the elephant in the room. No one like to be the one to yell "The Emperor has no clothes!" so please let me be the one to do it for you (and get eaten alive for it). The reason why so many people are jumping on CinemaSins right now in particular is because they did a Wonder Woman video. It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to see that the timelines add up.

Me: For those people who are like me who don't really watch American superhero films* (because we're too tangled up waiting with baited breath for The Adventures of Tintin sequel, because that's the comic book hero we grew up reading), Wonder Woman was a film that was well-received after what one reviewer described as "a long line of waiting apologies."

*Me: Footnote: I've watched The Incredibles and Batman 66, and I really liked those.

Me: Because Wonder Woman was a film that's popular, CinemaSins got in a lot of trouble because... apparently, people can't handle other people poking fun at something they like.

Me: Really, people. I'm disappointed in you. You're better than this.

Me: I hope I'm wrong about this, and people are just upset over CinemaSins' fact-checking. But one has to wonder why all the nitpick comments/videos started appearing now at the same time.

Me: Maybe I'm just weird, but I love it when people poke fun at stuff I like. Even my own work. I like watch LPs of my game played by others who are making cracks at it. I've been waiting for CinemaSins to do a video on one of my favourite films, The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn, but to no avail. Even CinemaSins pokes fun at itself before other people did. But many people don't seem to be able to handle neither criticism of a work that is near perfect, nor laugh at a joke at the expense of a film they like.

Me: And, not to put too fine a point on it, Bertie, but that's part of a bigger problem.

Me: CinemaSins has a right to exist. Critiquing a video game creator's work is fine, I love getting criticism, in fact. It helps artists grow. But please, stop making posts and videos saying that CinemaSins should die. It isn't decent. And stop making comments like, "CinemaSins doesn't watch the films they cover." They would have to watch the films at some stage to edit the video together.

Me: Now, Bobvid also points out some flaws that are genuinely flaws in CinemaSins' videos (to the best of my knowledge), and that's something that CinemaSins can work on to improve and grow their repertoire. It is not, however, a good reason to have CinemaSins wiped off the face of the Earth.

Me: Just because I don't like something doesn't mean it shouldn't exist. I don't like something doesn't mean it should exist. I don't like strategy games, but I'm happy others enjoy them. I'm happy strategy games are becoming successful again.

Me: And yet, some people think that visual novel games shouldn't exist. Why? Because they don't like them.

4:46 Watson: How did you see that? Sherlock: Because I was looking for it.

CinemaSins: Sherlock doesn't say, "because even though it's clear, it reflects light and is still visible to the naked eye."

Bob: Yes, you and I can see it, but that doesn't mean Watson was able to see it from his perspective. Watson was rushing Blackwood and wasn't paying attention.

Me: Due to the Kuleshov Effect, and because Watson and Sherlock are standing next to each other by the end of the sequence, we can assume that Watson can see what Sherlock sees in this shot. Crumbs, due to the magic of Prevalent Film Language, we conclude to this thought without even registering it on a conscious because of the way the sequence is shot (shot of object, followed by shot of Watson and Sherlock looking offscreen in the same direction = they are looking at said object).

Me: Also, I noticed you labelled Sherlock and Watson as "Sherlock" and "Watson," respectively, in the subtitles. For proper design unity, shouldn't you have labelled them both by their first names (Sherlock and John) or their last names (Holmes and Watson)? I'm nitpicking, but that's the point.

5:44 CinemaSins: Yeah sure. You're totally under arrest, but you can walk around without anyone holding on to you to make sure you don't try to escape.

Bob: This is showing that even police fear Lord Blackwood. Though I guess it could be a setup for one of your sh**ty jokeyjokes too.

Me: *Still sniggering from CinemaSins' gag.* *Pauses.* *Put hands on hips.* What's wrong with jokey jokes?! Even if they're afraid, they're the police. It's their job to apprehend this guy, so it looks ridiculous when they don't. It's reaching Thompson and Thomson-levels of police bumbling in an otherwise darkish action film.

Me: Details add up. If a film has a ton of tiny details that don't work, they can add up and wreck the enjoyment of the film (see videos that analyse shot-for-shot remakes, like Psycho and Beauty and the Beast to see what I mean). I know artists who have worked on Rick and Morty and have talked about meetings discussing the design of a paper cup that a character has to hold. A paper cup.

Me: I've seen Twitter people make the argument that films are not meant to be totally logical, and instead are meant to hit you on a metaphorical level (that's why Disney's Snow White works). And that CinemaSins uses logic and literalisms too much. But (at the risk of explaining a joke, which I don't like doing) remember that we as creators often pose a statement that we don't agree with to make our viewers both laugh and self-reflect on whether we are telling a truth or not. I hope this makes sense.

Me: Also of note: Bob doesn't censor swear words in the audio nor the subtitles of this video. I had to do that myself. Even though CinemaSins censors swear words. And both CinemaSins and myself have stated publicly that we're fine with swearing used in videos. We just censor them in videos/essays respectively out of consideration for others who may not like hearing them.

Me: It's also sometimes important to censor video essays in case someone wants to use the video in an academic environment, such as being shown in a film school class that has strict profanity regulations (for example, Games As Literature's YouTube videos have been known to be showcased in academic courses on Video Game Theory, which is why he tries to exclude any swearing or gore in his videos).

Me: While we're on the subject of nitpick-jokes, I'd like to take a moment here to point out that that bit where CinemaSins points out that in one of the background areas of a two-second scene in Kingsman has a paper towel roll is hung the wrong way is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. Seriously, I was howling when that popped up!

Me: Several people on Twitter were asking why CinemaSins was funny. While I'm highly, highly against explaining jokes ("comedy dies quickly under the microscope"), I can try to maybe go point-to-point and explain why their jokes touch the funnybone. I'll bring Powerpoint slides.

8:12 CinemaSins: While I appreciate the way this movie uses boxing to show off Holmes' superior mind, the idea that a reclusive, agoraphobic investigator would regularly participate in chaotic grimy street fights. Is beyond what my suspension of disbelief can bear.

Bob: Holmes' penchant for boxing comes straight out of Arthur Conan Doyle's original stories, so suspend that disbelief because people have been doing it since 1890.

Me: While Sherlock being a skilled boxer is indeed canon in the novels, many Doyle fans (including myself, screenwriter Max Landis, and co-creator of BBC Sherlock, Mark Gatiss) consider this to be a flaw in the Sherlock novels, as it often totally imbalances the foil relationship between Holmes and Watson. Watson is meant to be more of the brawn than Sherlock because Sherlock is more of the brains than Watson. Making Sherlock a skilled fighter makes Watson less useful. Because of this, it's perfectly accepted (and often considered an improvement) among many Sherlock fans to re-write Sherlock as being flawed at fighting (in BBC Sherlock, Sherlock is terrible at using a gun on numerous occasions, and fails miserably at trying to box the Golem in season 1, episode 3.) and even works that are heavily-inspired by Sherlock Holmes use this dynamic (Max Landis is the creator of BBCA's Dirk Gently, where Dirk can be taken down in a fight very quickly and is surrounded by friends who are physically stronger than him; and I am working on The Butler Detective, which has the detective character Mel Ambrose being physically weak in a fight, and Tuski Brown being surprisingly strong from buttle-ing).

Me: The following images are from Max Landis' Twitter account:

9:59 Preacher: You are sentenced to death for the practice of black magic.

CinemaSins: Victorian London was pretty backwards, but not that backwards. Were they? Were they?

Bob: Considering a [demonic ritual abuse] panic of our own happened in the 1980s, it's not that strange at all.

Me: Yes, but Reality is Unrealistic. There have been written accounts of farmers seeing cows spontaneously exploding, but if I had put a scene in my slice of life farming video game (The Journey of Ignorance) where a cow explodes, no one playing the game would say, "That's improbable, but realistic." They'd say it was unbelievable. As the saying goes, "Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense." If you want the audience to believe something that's improbable, you either have to create a fictionalised world where it seems less improbable, or you have to do what Fargo does and write a disclaimer at the beginning saying that the events are based on a true story... Even when that's not true.

Me: Also, ritual panic isn’t strange? What?

10:58 Bob: It's pronounced "sh*t," not "[BEEP]."

Me: -_- And you say CinemaSins does jokeyjokes?

Me: I feel like I need to add a swear counter or something to this video at this point. 0_o

13:27 CinemaSins: Pretty sure there would be a separate woman's jail. Right? Right?

Bob: Up until 1902, men and women were held in the same prisons in London. Quit asking rhetorical questions. And. Do. Research.

Me: What, am I supposed to crack open a bally history book every time I finish watching a bally episode of Jeeves & Wooster?

Me: Look, critiques come in all shapes and sizes. Some write in an academic style (Roger Egbert), some candidly (Jeremy Jahns), some scathingly (Ebert again), some focus on the editing side of things (Folding Ideas), the animation side (AniMat Reviews), and others write like they're a modernised version of a PG Wodehouse character from the 1930s (me).

Me: My point is, some critics, like CinemaSins, critique films as they are, as the film is playing, in the moment.

Me: You know. Like the way an average audience member watches a movie?

Me: Let them. And let CinemaSins. It's a valid method to judge a film. "It takes all sorts to build a world." There's room for critics who review films by how they captured people emotionally, but there's also room for critics who observe films on a more literal level.

Me: I feel bad about critics like who critically assess both good and bad films. They make me laugh the most with their snarky with, yet they get a lot of flak for it. One independent gave development team (we dare not speak its name, unless in hushed whispers by candlelight on a full moon) even went as far as to try and sue several critics for negatively reviewing their games. This attempt to silence the critics all led to... well... Let's just say that the Streisand Effect amuses me to no end.

Me: I know there's this dislike towards negativity and "caustic critics," but it's actually healthy to have a good whinge.

Me: If you honestly can't stand CinemaSins' negative tone, then check out their sibling channel, CinemaWins. It takes good and bad films and points out the good or awesome elements in those films.

13:50 CinemaSins: You might be thinking "Amazing sense of smell doesn't make a good superhero," and I would respond by saying, "Remember Hawkeye? He gets to be a top tier avenger and all he can do is shoot a [BEEP]ing bow and arrow."

Bob: Hawkeye has a hoverbike, f**k you!

Me: Having a hoverboard is not a skill. Shooting with a bow and arrow IS a skill. I actually have to state this? I mean, he could give that hoverbike to anyone with a compatible drivers license and they could fly it in Hawkeye's place.

Me: Or was that another one of your jokeyjokes? *Wiggles eyebrows.*

Me: Also, WHO THE HECK IS HAWKEYE?!

14:23 CinemaSins: Movie repurposes "old-timey" footage from Les Mis and Shanghai Knights.

Bob: Les Mis, Shanghai Knights and Sherloch Holmes all filmed in Greenwich. I guess it's a sin to shoot in the same location. Is this just a sh**ty jokeyjoke or a legit piece of criticism? I honestly can't tell.

Me: It's a reference/homage to Hollywood constantly filming in certain locations to do film shoots (especially Canada, due to its tax differences). You see camera crews filming stuff all the time and even handing out notices that give info on what film/show they're working on and how long they'll be there. I'm probably in the background of 257 different films and television shows simply because I'm Canadian.

Me: Canadians have very, very mixed, passionate feelings about being used to film American movies that are virtually never set in actual Canada, so I'd count this as a movie sin, yes.

14:48 Bob: Why are jokes about ejaculating allowed in these videos but cursing isn't?

Me: For the same reason double entendre jokes were allowed in 1971's "The Two Ronnies," but cursing wasn't: Because double entendre has a layer of subtext that hides its taboo nature from younger audiences (making it often "go above their heads"), but swearing doesn't. Unless you censor it in some way.

Me: The Two Ronnies' comedy sketch "Crossed Lines" literally has every other line a sex-related joke and it's considered to be a masterpiece of English double entendre. Check it out.

17:46: CinemaSins: The three main characters take down all-20-plus henchmen without the slightest injury.

Bob: By "20-plus henchmen" do you really mean six dudes?

Me: Hey, we're all allowed to hyperbole. I've been doing it like 50 times in this essay alone. :D

17:53 Adler: Moriarty. Please don't underestimate him.

CinemaSins: Irene is just saying "and we need a plot for the next movie."

Bob: Would you prefer the sequel to have a villain that comes out of nowhere, or is teased a little bit? Do all those Marvel post-credits scenes with Thanos make you really mad?

Me: I would prefer a film to be restrained enough to not sequel bait and allow itself to be its own, self-contained story.

Me: Also, sequel-baiting is slowly growing to be a hugely frowned-upon trend in films. It can smack of the creators being over-confident that they'll get enough money to warrant a sequel (The Last Airbender film anyone?) and well as manipulating the audience in an underhanded way. People are getting upset over sequel hooks, especially this year (2017) with films like King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (which was revealed to be a setup to six more films. I kid you not.), The Snowman (which was planned on being possibly a franchise. Which is ironic, since the film is literally incomplete but was released anyway), The Dark Tower (which was meant to lead to a television series), and Murder on the Orient Express (which ends with a sequel hook that, if you've read Agatha's Christie's Death on the Nile, creates a staggering plotting issue that I honestly have no idea how the writers will get around if the sequel does get made).

Me: I don't watch Marvel movies, so I don't know if Thanos makes me mad. Would he make me mad? Probably.

18:55 Bob: (Final Tally) Closing remarks: I have never seen someone simultaneously watch and not watch a film before. So thanks for that I guess.

Me: I've never had to type so much nitpicking-related stuff about a nitpicker before. Not since last Tuesday. So thanks for that I guess.

Me: No, really, thanks for that, Bob. This was cathartic. Genuinely.

Me: If people want to nitpick my nitpick of nitpicking and nitpicker who is nitpicking another nitpicker who's nitpicking a movie, please fell free to. Whatever you title it is bound to be hilarious, and I could do with a jolly good laugh.

-Katy

Also, here's Bobvid's YouTube Channel. *cough*Shameless plug he didn't ask for but I'm adding it anyway.*cough*

Bob, you've been a sweetheart. Keep making your videos.

"I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."- From Roger Ebert's review of North (1994)

Gee, I hope I don’t come off as too narky in this essay. This is such a big experiment. I’m so nervous about this ahhhhhhh--