#oh my god im so tired of 'i could never draw that'

[minhmynchi]

(venting in the tags ignore this lol)

[caitlinbueckers]

ok Ik you said Pazzi fic in studio but will never get the idea of Paige calling azzi mamas out of my head so just felt like I needed to share an idea for a blurb or to include in anything you write PAIGE CALLINF AZZI MAMAS

anon ur a genius but i am simply a fool who took this prompt and then ran with it and turned it into a random oneshot soooooo i apologize for the minimal use of ‘mamas’ but hope u like it anyway and will implement that in all my writing deadass

pet names.

paige bueckers/azzi fudd.

2.8K.

kinda bullshit rambling but a lil more of a structure to follow???

minimal nsfw so 18+ as fuck

Wait guys let me know how u rly feel bcuz im not suuuper happy w this one

at first, it’s a subtle change.

it’s not like paige is ever actually serious enough for her words to be taken to heart or with any ounce of meaning behind it— she’s a fucking idiot, and azzi was more than well aware of her incessant antics, and the fact that she just played too much.

so, of course it surprises her, but she can’t say it really means anything, until it does.

it’s funny to azzi, really, when recently, all of a sudden, paige will get caught up in her usual tangents that she’s started letting these random, little pet names slip from her lips, mouth moving so fast, almost as if she barely meant it, could barely even call it out herself.

it happens usually when they’re tired— or, at least when azzi’s tired, and paige is excited. sweat clinging to the back of azzi’s neck, her curls drawing up and away from the edges of her hairline, skin flushed and hot to the touch when paige is suddenly breezing past her. she’s somehow still in a jog despite the rigorous drills they’d done, oblivious to the redness of her face or the plastered strands of blonde hair against her forehead. she’s at the tail end of a conversation with KK, still grinning like a fool about whatever they must’ve been chattering about, yelling out some type of phrase or joke that only those two could conjur up.

azzi’s right eyebrow is already lifted, somehow already suspicious and unimpressed of her intentions when paige is launching straight into a new conversation, cheeks still pink and teeth on display as she skips backwards to keep her eyes on azzi.

“i think me an’ KK are ‘finna go play 2K when we get back to the dorms— i told her ass she doesn’t stand like, a single chance when I’ve been on my grind, and she don’t believe me, like, baby, you know i’ve been on that shit,” she clicks her tongue, rolls her eyes before she’s smacking azzi’s arm, giving her a sneaky grin, one that signaled whatever she was offering was really gonna be a delight, (it never was), “you should come chill. you don’t gotta play if you don’t want, you can always be my lil’ cheerleader.”

it wasn’t like her high energy, rapid movement behavior was anything unusual, but that little, barely missable word was.

baby. it rolls off her tongue like it’s been waiting around the whole time, lingering beneath the surface, waiting for the moment to strike. she says it with an ease of comfort she can’t necessarily place, and azzi doesn’t necessarily hate it, but it’s there, nonetheless.

it momentarily stunts her, but azzi still finds herself smiling— not from any type of fluster or flush miraculously, but one that she usually gives paige when she’s amused by her, eyes wide and exaggerated as she huffs out a chuckle. “that sounds… boring, honestly.” but, she’s laughing at the gape on paige’s face anywa, “i need to shower, dude, i don’t wanna watch video games.” she scoffs, before she grins at her, only because she knows it’ll piss paige off.

and it does, so, of course the walk out to the parking lot is filled with a whole lot of, ‘oh my god, bro, you’re so lame.’ or, ‘like, azzi, you can have a turn ‘forreal, like just come over for like, deadass a second.’

ultimately, and unsurprisingly enough, paige ends up getting her way. though, she’ll swear it’s only because azzi takes her shower, does some homework and is in the middle of taking out her braids when the word hits her again, and again, and again.

babybabybaby.

she can’t really blame the way she rolls her eyes despite herself. her and paige had been close for fucking ever, so there wasn’t necessarily much between them that was off limits, but it still resonated within her as something azzi couldn’t just brush off. whether that was more damaging than pretending it never happened, she didn’t have a single clue.

all she did know, was that paige bueckers got her way entirely way too much. so much so, that azzi has to let out an audible groan reserved only for paige, before she texts that she’s on her way over.

and yeah, whatever, maybe it wouldn’t matter so much if it was just a one-off, or if maybe their friendship wasn’t so fucking complicated in the first place.

but then, it does matter, because it doesn’t stop happening.

when paige is frustrated at her homework, sitting plainly with her legs at full extension in the study room with aaliyah, ice, and azzi, it leaves her lips in a huff of exasperation, “azzi, babe, this shit really makes no sense, swear.” even if she’s saying it in the voice that clearly states she hasn’t attempted it for nearly long enough to proclaim she doesn’t get it, “az, can you please just come check it out.” azzi can’t tell what’s worse; the fact that paige had said it, or the fact that nobody had even looked surprised that she did.

or when they’d gotten dressed for media day, everyone milling about as they try not to wrinkle their uniforms or crease their concealer, it’s paige (and eventually nika and aaliyah) that whoops and hollers during azzi’s solo pictures, something like, “yeaaaah princess! nation’s best, babyyyyy! work that shit!” followed by a series of whistles that sounded so off pitch it makes azzi snort, rolling her eyes as she purposely avoids the gaze that paige so obviously wants to capture, teetering at the edges of azzi’s peripheral with a grin so wide it threatens to make her blush.

and, she swears she doesn’t, and instead turns back to the photographer with cheeks only a touch pinker than they were previously, “sorry— can we do that again?”

really, the only time she’d ever allowed herself to actually enjoy it, was on the last night at the hotel after a game. it couldn’t have been later than two or three in the morning, paige and azzi having spent the majority of it whispering beneath the covers, anything to not wake up the two other girls asleep in the other double bed.

it’s not too bad, having to share beds— except that, paige is a chronic cuddler and azzi would rather sleep on the shitty futon than be subjected to paige’s unrelenting weight against her back, or her arms slung lazily over her, but it was because of that precise position that azzi could even hear the words when she says it.

“mmmh-,“ she hums tiredly first, speaking mostly out of her ass, like paige always did when got too tired and let herself start rambling “night, pretty girl.”

it’s soft, and sort of raspy— the way paige gets when she’s been screaming all night on the court, and azzi can really only tell by the amount of ibuprofen that she’d downed before bed being somewhat more than her usual, that she’s probably got a headache. it’s a voice she uses when she’s being sincere.

the quiet sentiment, however insignificant to anyone else, replays in her mind. almost like a secret. almost like the closer she keeps it to her chest, the harder it’ll be to lose it.

it makes her whole body warm all over.

her response comes a few beats later, when she’s sure paige has drifted, and nothing but her measured breath is puffing against azzi’s neck, heard only between the two of them.

“night, p.”

but then, suddenly, everything sort of changes. azzi doesn’t know when this part happened— maybe it’s between the time she kisses her at that bar, tipsy and too close, unaware of the camera that set the internet aflame, and now, where it was customary that paige did homework with her, or ate dinner with her or slept over all the time. perhaps, it’s one selective moment in the chaos between that had suddenly transformed paige’s subtle casualty of the pet names, to something more intimate. more for them, rather for anyone else.

or, maybe it was exactly where they knew they’d end up all along.

it’s after a night out, after neither of them had ever really questioned how this had became their routine. that now, it had become something unspoken, an inherent rule that was followed without it needing to be stated. that, when they got too fucked up with the team, and the ubers were being ordered, azzi and paige always went together, that the address would always end up being paige’s dorm, and that azzi would always be curling into purple sheets by the time she sobers up enough to sleep.

but, she’s not sober. she’s drunk, and her face is flushed hot, sticky with the bar atmosphere. “paige, you’re making me too hot.” azzi complains with an impatient lilt to her voice, lifting her right shoulder up to her neck as if to shrug paige off, but the girl is relentless, humming her denial as she slid a hand across azzi’s thigh, grasping it hard enough that her nails dug into the skin there.

“psh, you’re already hot, shut up.” the words are spoken clumsily, lips brushing against the bare skin of azzi’s shoulder with each word, while a sudden surge of annoyance and somehow gratitude courses through azzi for having worn a sleeveless top, “c’mere, mamas, ‘lemme lay on you.”

she’s being whiny, and it only makes azzi roll her eyes before her gaze flickers to the screen of the car, giving her another light elbow prod, only this time, a short, sneaking smile is crossing her face. “paige, ‘forreal, we’re about to be back anyway.”

this, somehow, only fuels her. “i’m wounded,” she complains, before she’s pressing a little smack of a kiss to azzi’s neck, “my girl’s so mean to me, shit.”

my girl.

what the fuck ever.

azzi should’ve demanded an explanation then, but she doesn’t.

in fact, there’s not an explanation waiting for them when they stumble into paige’s room, their hands in a tight grasp, pulling each other in so that they can both fall against the bed, and azzi really shouldn’t have been expecting one. it’s definitely not explained when they’re somehow under the blankets, and paige has an arm, long and lean, wrapped around azzi’s waist to end somewhere between her legs, fingers finding a rhythm that seems to pull the very air from azzi’s lungs.

it’s not what azzi was expecting to happen, and yet somehow they’d fallen into place like it something they’d done a million times. paige had undressed her, after azzi’s complaint of still feeling too hot, and paige— not even a singular bit sober— finds her hands along the bottom of azzi’s top, tugging it over her head before she tosses her an old basketball camp shirt that had been slung across her dresser.

“you gonna sleep in jeans?” is really what had started it, paige’s pointed tone making azzi’s face burn hot, but the smirk on her face never faltered. “you’re so annoying.”

because then, paige has her fingers hooking into azzi’s waistband, eliciting a string of giggles that escape because fuck, she’s ticklish and paige knows. “what? what am i doing?” the blonde is grinning too, snickering under her breath as azzi’s pants are yanked down her hips, kicked from her feet with minimal effort until azzi feels it. a featherlight kiss was placed to each of her scarred knees, the inside of her thigh, eyes flickering up to azzi’s hazy but steady gaze, “this okay?”

god, azzi hadn’t realized until just then how fucking okay it was.

it’s quiet, sensual even, the way that paige talks her through it— heel of her hand dragging endlessly against her swollen clit, fingers thick as they arched into her, teeth grazing the back of azzi’s shoulder with each word of encouragement.

“c’mon, mamas, jus’ like that.” had anyone known better, they’d think paige must’ve been getting off just to this, by the way her own voice hitched and caught, her own hard swallows that reverberated in azzi’s ear, each laced with little gasps as she plunged into her wetness.

but, azzi did know better— paige was absolutely getting off to it. her voice is all breath, crackling and barely audible, murmuring incoherent mumbles that make it almost incomprehensible to decipher, yet, azzi swears she can understand.

it’s in her ear, over and over, that heat and pressure between her legs building as her hips twitched involuntarily against her knuckles, feels the way they slide deeper within her and azzi lets out a noise that even she’s too embarrassed to recount. “fuck, i wanna hear that shit, need to hear you baby, please.”

it coaxes the orgasm straight from azzi’s core, thighs involuntarily squeezing around paige’s hands, to which the blonde is silent in muted awe. she watches with bleary eyes but bated breath, sitting up only a bit to really witness it. the way azzi’s face drew up, eyebrows furrowed and lips parting, the whimper edged breaths that huffed out of her, the tight clamping of her eyes shut.

“so fucking pretty,” each word is punctuated in a kiss, “so good.”

really, it should’ve been a lot worse for them the next morning. azzi can’t help the wave of a ground shaking realization she gets when she rolls over to inspect paige’s sleeping expression, lips slightly parted, her blonde hair mussed on the pillow behind her. there should’ve been some type of lingering awkwardness that hung above them, some type of trepidation or fear, maybe even regret.

it definitely wasn’t like they talked about it, but they’d also never quite gone this far. did they need to? probably, because azzi knew that the guilt would probably hit sooner or later.

in fact, azzi waits for it to hit, all the way until paige wakes up, and her eyes are a little puffy, watery blue and clear as she blinks up blearily at azzi like she’s the finest thing she’s ever laid eyes on (because she is), and whispers with a grin, “distracted by my beauty?”

she waits even until the next away game, when her legs are propped up over paige’s lap and her fingers are drumming absently against azzi’s thigh, humming something in her headphones with her eyes shut, looking like a complete idiot, before their eyes meet by chance when paige opens them, and suddenly, they’re both grinning.

she even waits for it to hit when the buzzer goes off after the fourth quarter of that game, an easy win, and confetti is thrown. it’s chaos really, with all the girls rushing through the tunnel to get back to the lockers. that is, until, paige pulls her aside for half a second, hidden away from the hungry eyes to press a solid, sweet kiss to her lips.

but it doesn’t end there. azzi waits for it during her injury, when enough nights in linoleum covered white floors with the constant smell of antiseptic start to pierce the inside of azzi’s brain, ruins her attitude enough that paige’s texts go unanswered. and yet, everytime azzi wakes up, the pain in her leg flared and angry, it’s paige that’s sat in the corner of the room, huddled under a shitty hospital blanket, waiting for her to wake up.

it went even as far as the loss against IOWA when the roles are reversed— after the excitement of final four had became real, after the grueling, rampant preparation, and then ultimately, a loss. it’s when azzi gets permission to stick around in paige’s hotel room until she gets back from the game, and the way that the blonde, finally in the safety of the four walls, found herself crumbling to azzi, becoming nothing but a shell of what everyone perceives her to be, everything paige wishes she fucking wasn’t.

it’s only then, that azzi finds herself returning the favor— arms wrapped tight around paige’s waist with a burning, sting in her own eyes that she can feel the moment she sighs against the crown of paige’s head. she can smell the sweat, the smell of a basketball court that had just gotten waxed, but really, azzi just smells paige, and that’s enough to give her the composure she needs to whisper against her head, “don’t be so hard on yourself, baby… you guys did so good.”

and they don’t talk about it, because they don’t need to. the same way they never had to ask the other when it came to the hospital or bus rides or homework dates or hotel rooms— it was unspoken, implied but never mentioned. the same way back when they’d met at USA camp, it was never a matter of conversation for their plays to work, it was all in the matter of a look, or a slight of hand.

and when the team starts asking, giving paige shit about how she’s missing video game nights with KK or azzi’s getting shit about caroline missing her study partner, everybody already knows. when paige tells nika, voice only a little timid as she gives her a condensed version of the last few months like it was a ground shaking news, head tilted to lean on the older girls shoulder, the brunette bursts into laughter. ‘finally, took you guys long enough.’

and really, it was a wonder they hadn’t been like this the whole time.

a wonder that it had taken this long in the first place.

[jacenotjason]

OK this will be an extremely long ask i am sorry. i love radford

i havent sent an ask to people in years but i am one of the radford fans of all time and demonic possession is a fun concept to me, so the idea of gadreel possessing him specifically makes me INSANE

i just think itd work extremely well. radford doesnt take anything seriously and doesnt understand boundaries, but he always puts his concern for others first and his well-being last. he annoys father gregor and compares him to priests hes seen in the movies, and he does spray holy water + offer free candy against kevins wishes, but he also warns rick about the trouble he could get himself into when not giving the right movie tickets, and helps kevin with his job with no pay in mind. hes annoying, but his heart is in the right place

but gadreel is the Ultimate Prankster. him trying to imitate radford would backfire Hard, because gadreels idea of fun is,, More Extreme. he allows kids to enter adult films, he steals candy and says its fine since hes friends with kevin, he tells his friends and brother to break the rules and disrespect authority, etc etc. im unsure what gadreels motives are other than to ruin everyones day, but hes doing a damn good job at it. all the blame is going to radford, and honestly, its just So Easy to blame him for it

i imagine it takes a while for most people to figure out that somethings wrong with radford. he does what he wants freely, wherever and whenever, so these mistakes could be rationalized by him having an off-day. i assume rad would look extremely tired after a days long session of gadreel torturing him (because he loves pushing the human body. bill cipher behavior). but i think what makes everyone truly concerned is when "radford" starts involving Others in his antics

it isnt like rad to encourage bad behavior. he would never tell rick to swap the prices of two items at his new job, or tell robert the best blind spots to steal from stores, or forcing kevin to take his anger out on someones property. the radford everyone knows is ditzy, but kindhearted. if theres trouble, radford would be the only perpetrator

and god, imagine how much worse it gets if "radford" gets in trouble with the police. john would be frustrated seeing his own nephew be so careless and cruel all of a sudden. itd probably even make him spiral and assume the cult had something to do with it, and that john and his family arent safe like he thought. and i think gadreel relishes in that knowledge

im also so curious as to how gadreel and radford met and how long the possession lasted, maybe it was a week? in my head, he came to radford in the form of a snake before revealing his true self and attacking, leaving no time for rad to fully process it and run away. i also assume skid and pump will have some involvement, and pumps eyes turning blue will be a clear sign that "radford" is associated with a demonic entity, or Is one. either way i love gadreels character being a "twisted" version of radfords if that makes sense

so um ya sorry for the longest ask ever. heres a drawing

OPOOOHMYGOHMOSIEJHIOSRHGIUSADHRUITGHSDUIGSDB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!??!?!?!?!? FUCK OK OKAYAKOAJTYAOKATY THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS SO COOL

THANK YOU FOR THE DRAWING, EATING IT, YOUR POINTS ARE ALL CORRECT

Unlike Moloch whose possessions are more brutal and obvious, Gadreel hides and youre so right! Hes here for the long haul babey!!

yes i imagine the possession lasted about a week, week and a half. Gadreel can't feel pain (at least Radfords pain i mean, he has a higher pain tolerance, as a demon yknow) so he could very well accidentally snap a bone as Radford and not even notice. What im saying is Rad is hospitalized afterwards

AUGHHH the police thing. Gadreel sees the cops and WANTS to get caught by them, just for goofs. in a "Oh what would happen if i did this :)" way.

GOD THIS IS SO COOL YOURE LITERALLY THE BEST

OH!! AND ON THE SUBJECT OF HOW RAD AND GADREEL MET !!

Instead of possessing Patty in the morgue, Gadreel took the form of a snake and.... left lmao. or got noticed and thrown out bc oh my god a snake

he ended up near the candyclub and radford was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Gadreel saw Radford as a hiding place and a means to have fun.

I imagine Moloch doesnt care about what his vessels look like, meanwhile Gadreel won't possess someone if he thinks theyre lame. like yeah he couldve possessed patty but then he would've had to.... do stuff. eugh. This guy looked WAY more fun.

im actually vibrating yourel iterally the coolest dawg.

[hotpinkboots]

OH MY GOD I DID?????? IM SOSOSOSOS SORRY......THANK YOU FOR NOT LOOKING OMG IM SO EMBARRASSED *WAVES ARMS AROUND*

But if I could request again!!!! Once more, I'd like a FT.Foxy x Sleepy darling whom is sleepy all the time!!! They could just......lay on the ground on the floor and pass out. Right when he's preforming aswell!- *Just like me, I could sleep anywhere everywhere and im tired 24/7....*

All my love and adoration *And thank you's for not looking!!!*

Sleepytime anon!!! (Who could use a nap....)

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~𝓕𝓾𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮 𝓕𝓸𝔁𝔂 x Sleepy!Reader Headcanons~

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HELLOOO!! This is one of many requests I had a few months back before I took a break, so my apologies for getting these done so late LOL. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER I ALWAYS SAY!!

~Enjoy~

★★★★

𝓕𝓾𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮 𝓕𝓸𝔁𝔂

★★★★

~Funtime Foxy wants you to be awake to see him perform!

~If you don't make it to his show, he'll bring the show to you.

~Will walk up to you and treat you like a child who fell asleep after a long day of eating pizza and playing at a birthday party, tapping on you to wake you up when it's closing time.

~Sometimes, while he's making his rounds, he'll just greet you loudly to playfully spook you stay awake

~He doesn't want any kids to see the sleeping adult and think "hey let's draw on that person over there" or something. You know how kids are.

~So not only is it bad for kids to decide it's funny to make fun of you while you're asleep, but it definitely effects your job. You can't be sleeping on the job all the time.

~He would have an absolute meltdown if you were fired.

~So he takes things into his own hands by purposely engaging you in activities!! Even trying to make you do things that aren't your job to do, or isn't your job to help with.

~Your job definitely becomes way more fun when you become a regular who the kids see having silly interactions with Funtime Foxy. The kids love you, and Funtime Foxy loves you. Win win!

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THANK YOU FOR READING, LOVE!! I haven't written in quite a few months now, so my apologies for being juuuust a little bit rusty on writing for these characters!

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Request Guidelines!

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Join my Chat/Roleplay Server! Here, you'll get updates on my videogame/fanfiction, make friends, and meet new roleplay buddies!:

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~Love, PinkBoots

[the-grand-av3]

HIYA

IT'S ME AGAIN

*silence*

The girl that sent you the drawings of Al and Vox?

...

ANYWAY

I have questions especially for Al and Vox because I have a weird obsession with the two because both of them technically have a technology part of them.. and these are technology questions... YEa-

SSSSOo (Sir Pentious get out this is my ask not yours)

Alastor: Can you play music through your 'biological' radio? yk. since your voice sounds like that I thought that there's a radio in ya. (Oh my god i cannot word it otherwise I'm sorry.)

Vox: Can you play movies/videos through- uh- ya head?

Vox & Al: If you can do what I asked before, then

How do you get signal?? (I hope you know what I mean)

If you do that and fall asleep, does the sound/video disappear?

HOW DO Y'ALL DRINK?? HOW.DO.YOU.DRI-

Can you watch movies/listen to podcasts through ya mind or do you have to play it aloud in Al's case...? Does Vox just stand in front of a mirror and... AHHAHAHAHAHAHAA OH MY GOD HAAA I NEED AN ARTIST TO DRAW THAT. JUST. JUST VOX IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR STANDING AWKWARDLY THERE WATCHINGA MOVIE LMFAO-

*gets murdered by Niffty*

Had so much fun reading this ask

Thus is a long one, so I'll just...

Add a read more option

Yes! I do recall you, bellacountry. Quite the amazing artist, I must say!

Oh right.. shoulda added more muscles to me now that i look back at it

are none of you capable of saying thank you

Okay, ignoring the strike through, we can answer these

Will do. The first question is for me, so move aside, dear. While I cannot produce music through my biological chords, I can produce them through my microphone. You could say my microphone is an extension of my mind, relaying my thoughts and emotions.

She made it sound really suggestive

Vox.

Sorry

Anyways yes I can. The other pricks in the tower

Velvette and Valentino.

Think its SOOOO funny to use the remote to mute m

...

LMAOAIA NEVER GETS OLD

--E that. I can play movies and stuff too, I have some downloaded when im bored

Well, I always have signal to air my show! My microphone produces that for me. However, the higher I go, the more clear and wider my broadcast is!

My antennas give me my signal. If those get hit or knocked, it makes the world sound fuzzy for a few seconds

Also makes your screen grainy, dear. My radio static noises do fade a little when I'm tired. But that means everyone across Pride knows I'm asleep, so I rarely sleep to begin with.

I charge like a phone

It's funny. He has a little Vox symbol bouncing around on his face.

Ok first of all fuck you i dont need a mirror (yes he does) second of all I've already watched all the movies in Pride

I can! They come through my microphone. Soap operas, roleplays, dramas, the likes and wonders!

I drink with my mouth. (:

We don't question that shhhhh

SEE

SEE I TOLD YOU SHES FERAL

She's such a sweetie!

[aforrestofstuff]

Chapter 173 Expert Review: The "Hey, my boyfriend saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe" Edition

The cover makes me so uncomfortable it's like I'm at a party and said something weird just as the music went quiet and everyone heard and they're all looking at me and everyone hates me and I'm so anxious and

Welcome to the Chapter 173 Expert Review! I have completely lost count of how many of these I've done. If you're coming here for a well-thought-out meta-commentary on the hit series franchise anime manga One Punch Man, then look elsewhere because I put a grand total of ten minutes of thought into this post that took me 45 minutes to write.

I hope you're all well. If you're new here from Twitter then yes, I'm really always like this and I apologize. I don't know how to segway to the actual commentary, so um......... here we gooooooo.....

I don't know what I was expecting. Could I have predicted that Murata would yassify Bofoi? Probably. Do I ever want to come to terms with the fact that he did? No.

Shut up I'm not saying anything. I'm not saying anything. I'm not. He looks like he's wearing those really oversized dentures at Party City. His head looks more like an egg than Saitama's. Why does he still look kinda.... no I'm not gonna say it. I'm not. I'M NOT. GET OUT OF MY HEAAADD RAAAAAAEERERARAAAAWW

I'D FUCK HIM!!!! I'D FUCK BOFOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING HE'S NOT AN ENDEARING SORT OF UGLY OK IM SICK OF IT!!! I'M GONNA DESTROY HIS OLD MAN CERVIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA FUCK HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How many enemies has Saitama made just by existing already. Is this number three? Sonic, God, and now Bofoi? Oh, well, I guess Saitama did fuck up his robots but that was self-defense 100% and it WILL hold up in the court of law.

Oh, okay. Now we have a better idea of the timeline since Saitama became a hero.... only two months???? Dude, I've had packages lost in the mail for longer than that.

I kinda thought he'd been a hero for at least six months. I guess what Garou said about coming back to fuck up the heroes after six months at the beginning of his arc was only a sort of red herring to make it seem like he'd be the world-ending Shibabooby prophecy, but in relation to how long Saitama's been a hero, turns out my guy only fucked shit up for like, what? One month?

Was this just obvious to everyone else except me. I really should've never learned how to read dawg.

THANK YOU Amai Mask for being the "Please explain the plot so readers with the comprehension skills of fourth graders can know what's going on" character in this because I swear to fucking god I had no clue what anyone was talking about.

Also, Ninja Leader makes an appearance as Blast's totally super platonic partner. Supposedly they were "searching for a mysterious cube" together. People these days make up such weird euphemisms for skipping work to fuck each other in a ditch, I swear. 🙄🙄🙄

A couple of things:

Is Blast wearing the Ninja Leader's glasses in the present? Oh, so they really were super platonic, huh.

You mean to tell me bro aged THIS MUCH in two years? 700 days ago he was late-twenties rager at Planet Fitness and now he's a 57-year-old salt and pepper daddy at the gay bar?

I guess it could have something to do with his powers, manipulating space-time and all that. Blast teleports through something that is basically a copy-and-pasted black hole, which could explain why time flows differently for him, but doesn't time slow down near a black hole? So he should be aging slower if anything.

So, did God age him? Is this even the same Blast that came in contact with God? Something something uuuhh time travel something something...

I don't fucking know. This could also just be a case of "Murata doesn't know how to draw people that look their age" although he's been getting better about that, at least... Just seems ODD to me that Blast has aged like an avocado in a manga where characters only seem to look younger as time goes by.

Very noble that he's fighting God alone with the Interdimensional Justice League and their Pocket Dimension Pool Table to protect everyone else. Something still feels fishy about this, though........ especially since he's a deadbeat ass dad in the webcomic. I don't trust a GODDAMN thing this boy has to say. I DONT CARE IF HE'S HOT!! And I think that is so brave of me.

Forrest has a theory and everyone's gotta hear about it a million times until he's proven otherwise.

Y'all already heard me say how God has one-sided beef with Saitama because Saitama broke the limiter God had placed on him, and I suppose that alone is still a decent reason for God to be pulled to Earth, but I still think God's full body (and power) is imprisoned in the dimensional seal Blast was screaming about as Saitama was fighting Monster Garou V2.

And Saitama's habit of fucking shit up as collateral for saving the world is further eroding God's jail cell, so he's unknowingly helping his enemy get closer to him. This fucking goober.

It makes sense because the massive body in the seal looks like a fully-formed person, whereas whenever we see God free, he's always a sort of unfinished skeletal figure. He's incomplete.

Is this another one of those things where it seems painfully obvious to everyone else except me. Y'all are free to hop in my inbox and call me a dumbass if you want.

Final thoughts because this review is already too goddamn long and I wanted to shitpost a bit more but I guess I can do that on other posts because I'm TIRED.

All in all, we really needed a good expo-debrief chapter to put everything in perspective because the Monster Association arc was a load of reveals with not a lot of resolutions. I think the ending was still very anticlimactic because, although we were introduced to a lot of shit like God and Blast and whatnot, none of that was really tied up in a satisfying way, nor left on an interesting cliffhanger. Just more and more questions. Even Garou's arc hasn't ended really, and all the development he and Saitama had gone through was forgotten (for NOW, because of Genos' core, but I digress) so it almost feels like... not much really happened at all. Nothing really ended, it was just a collection of more plot threads beginning.

I wish ONE waited a bit longer to really delve into God and Blast because I think the Monster Association arc could've been a lot more comprehensive and well-paced if it had just been (mostly) contained to what was happening between the heroes and monsters. But I can appreciate how comprehensive the plot is now after the fallout, just... the road to get here was rocky. I lost all the tires on my jeep.

I'm excited for Psychic Sisters.

In conclusion: if you were at the Whole Foods down the street and took a blue bike tied to the railing then you're a fucking bitch GIVE IT BACK!! THAT'S MY FUCKING BIKE!!

GIVE BACK MY FUCKING BIKE!!!!! YOU STOLE MY BIKE!!

p.s. -- I'm still waiting for the Zombiedad and Child Emperor Get Milkshakes Together omake. Murata, pls. Also give my bike back.

Thanks for reading. Please, I need my bike.

[cas-coding]

au where dean is a country music star who has been hiding from the world for a year due to being outed as bisexual and then having his fanbase turn on him. he finally emerges for a coffee one day and is almost unrecognizable and when cas approaches him just asking if anything is wrong dean is like oh thank god he doesn’t recognize me.

dean vaguely explains his whole situation before cas tells him that he knows who he is only because claire started listening to his music after he was outed and how she thinks its super cool that there are queer country artists out there. and dean starts sobbing and saying he doesn’t write songs anymore, he can’t, and cas just smiles at him and says it’s okay and he does enough and he can rest.

dean comes back the next week with wired earbuds and a demo for cas. i’m not at my best, i mean, my reputation has never been worse, so, you must like me for me. i can’t make any promises now can i? but maybe i’ll grab a drink. and it’s so charming and dean is strumming his guitar in the background (yes its modified lyrics to delicate by taylor swift shush dean is taylor in this au maybe) and cas just smiles and says thank you to dean.

and every week dean comes back with more samples of demos and things and most of them are angry, he’s angry about what happened, but some of them are soft and lovely. dean hands the phone to cas one week and looks away and cas is confused and then he turns on the song and it’s pretty lovey dovey, just ten second portions of lyrics before dean goes back to the drawing board. his starry eyes could spark up the darkest night, mmmmm, uh, i’ll call it what i want to, yeah, call him what i want to, woah, i’d let him put his initial on a chain for my neck, yeah, not because he owns me, just ‘cause he really knows me,

and cas is so overcome with emotion that he just grabs deans hand and pulls him into an alleyway and kisses him silly and dean is confused because “i thought i crossed a line, you were talking about claire, you have a daughter, i didn’t want to assume but-“ and cas is just breathlessly laughing that claire is his niece and he is very gay and very much smitten with dean and he’s so glad dean likes talking to him as much as he likes talking to dean.

so ofc dean drags cas back to his house and blows him and they fuck silly and of course dean freaks out that cas got what he wanted and will go to the press but in the morning cas is playing a melody on the piano and softly mumbling the call it what i want to, call him what i want to, and dean knows he found his inspiration again.

anyway theres more but im tired so. maybe ill notes app it tmr on the long drive i have.

[bizlybebo]

oh my god im not your girlfriend but i NEED your normal album analysis omg (im normal about will wood btw)

HI OH MY GOD I TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS I AM. S ORRY

AUGHH this is definitely an excuse to ramble and i am TAKING it thank you so much for this

im fucking obsessed with the normal album. like sosoos much. it's such a subversive and creative and just. sort of album that you've never seen before, i think it seriously doesn't get the credit it deserves augh

first off here's a link to a 3-hour long analysis of the normal album that i haven't actually watched yet

here's where im cutting the post off before i start incoherently rambling about every song so that i don't curse people's dashes with having to Scroll for a million miles

THIS IS. A LONG ASS POST. LIKE 2.3K WORDS. SO IF YOU CLICK ON THIS BE WARNED LMAO.

i don't expect this to get more than like 2-3 notes this is literally just an open ramble about the normal album cause i got an excuse to.

Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary-Bell Township / Vampire Culture is SUCHH a good intro to the album. like. not even going into the lyricism it's fucking so insanely well-composed in a musical sense, I LOVE the samples and the immediate, like, doorbell sound at the very beginning because it just. introduces the ENTIRE album so well.

and the way it introduces will wood's motif of "Everybody's all up in my goddamn business" is SOSOO good.

The first half or so of the song is very illustrative of the typical, like, nuclear family, with these sounds inspired by a very upbeat, like... almost 60s-70s kind of music? It's a very creative song but it's tune and melody are also somewhat restrictive for a decent part of it, expressing perfectly what will wood's saying about this kind of lifestyle. If that makes sense?

and THEN the sudden switch into vampire culture is INSANE. im fucking AUGHGHGH over it.

It draws back on this stereotypical, happy lifestyle where something just seems a bit off and leans ENTIRELY into the uncanny-ness of it all. it's a sudden jump into random tempo switches, fucking just making all the noise he wants, and screaming "fuck your culture".

like the symbolism is so clear yet so subtle. I fucking love it.

and I am

OBSESSED. with this outro.

and THEN the little 'love me, normally' melody at the end is fucking INSANEEE augh. there was literally no better way to start this album off.

2econd 2ight 2eer (that was fun, goodbye) is EASILY one of my fucking favorites on this album. like. god.

IMMEDIATELY starting off with "take it with a pillar of salt, H.A.L.T., it's not my fault", illustrates the point of this song so well.

HALT is the acronym Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. It encourages you to "halt" and think before making an important decision and evaluate-- are you any of these four things?

And it's often been suggested by psychiatrists to a lot of people dealing with mental health issues.

The reason why I'm so obsessed with this lyric is because this entire song is basically accepting, "hey. i'm mentally ill. like i am. FUCKED in the head. this isn't something i can't escape, not really. i'm learning to be okay with this instead of searching my whole life for a cure. i'm never going to be able to assimilate fully into normal society."

and it's mixed with this very, like. Rudimentary view of how society views mentally ill people / those struggling with more severe psychological conditions. The chorus is literally "I'm just a psycho babe; come and go out my mind"

It's almost like this expression of mania, what with the upbeat tempo and the dark lyrics.

"I didn't lose it, I set it free" is another lyric in this song i just. augh. love. love love lvoe vloevleo this whole album. this is DEFINITELY the song i could say the MOST about. but i feel like i'd almost have to save that for another, more organized post.

Laplace's Angel / Hurt People? (Hurt People!)

AUGGGHHHHH.

god.

The title Laplace's Angel comes from the idea of Laplace's Demon, which concerns the whole idea of determinism, etc. It's essentially the idea that if a demon knew the position of everything, everywhere, the laws of physics would allow it to predict and understand the future.

it. doesn't make a lot of sense to me tbh.

BUT.

i understand determinism in a sense, and it's basically the idea that free will doesn't exist and that we and our actions are. products of the things that have already happened to us.

That's the best way I can explain it.

And I think that all of this, tied together with how the song is discussing important topics of morality, etc. is just. So cool and artistic and. God.

It references this guttural, primal sort of fear and this sort of "predictability" of the human psyche with the lyric that throws the entire song into it's first chorus-- said lyric being:

"Run your diagnostic tests, it's posited; nobody dies agnostic, though we still dial 9-1-1."

AND THEEENNNN. the chorus itself. augh.

You could go on all day about the main voice, "Could you take a look at me?" but i'm more in love with the backing chorus--

"It's the norm for animals, it's the norm for chemicals -- It's the norm for particles, eye for eye, for tooth"

and you can see a lot of references to other philosophies such as "an eye for an eye".

AND THEN the bridge being "wash your hands of where you been until you flood the second floor - neatly fold your skeletons but still can't shut the closet door"

essentially just being this greater commentary on morals as a whole, and how, in a sense, morality is just. subjective. Like I don't think I have the skill to illustrate just how insightful this song is on the topic of morality. god.

I / Me / Myself !

so obviously i / me / myself is a remaster of sorts of i / me / myself by Will Wood and the Tapeworms (versus just solo Will Wood)

BUT I LVOE THIS SONG. SO MUCH.

Will Wood wrote this song, essentially, about wishing he could express his femininity properly, right? how he felt like people refused to accept his identity as cisgender and heterosexual because he was a crossdresser, and very proud of it?

i fucking love that. he just puts absolutely everyone on blast for that. he's a cis dude who's also fucking with gender and fashion and art and he's letting people understand that.

but here's where i get personal because i ADORE the song as a lesbian who doesn't consider himself cisgender in the slightest.

I've spent my whole life wishing I could "be a girl" despite being born and raised female-- I simply just didn't fit into the mold of traditional femininity and, growing up in a religious background, that just made it even more difficult to fit in.

So I LOVE the lyric "i wish i were a girl".

AND THE BRIDGE IM JUST OBSESSED WITH TOO

"Eating your prosthetic, meet your anesthetic criteria, pathetic seeing you become acetic -- Say my name like a slur, but I've been called worse; I've heard it all before, no this isn't a first -- Let me be the void you fill with taxidermy fingerprints, taxonomize our differences -- I am quantum physics, my witness brings me to existence"

I think I just. need to leave that there. Cause it says more than I ever could. rahgaghag

and then closing out with the repeated line "all identities are equally invalid; don't you think that there's a chance that you could live without it?" is such cool like. food for thought yk?

idk i love the view Will Wood gave here, honestly. Especially knowing that he's very accepting of the lgbt+ community.

...well, better than the alternative

HOLY SHIT I AM. AUGH. UNWELL OVER THIS SONG.

see, the way I view it, is this attempt to just. Play into a normal, quiet life, despite EVERYTHING mentioned previously in the album. It's about trying to shove beside everything else for a normal existence.

It ties into suburbia overture, i / me / myself, and 2econd 2ight 2eer soso well. it's the perfect "halfway point of the entire album".

another lyric that i just HAVE to throw in here "This isn't my first kiss, it's better to be lost than loved, now isn't it?"

i'm mainly just. obsessed with that because of how aromantic it sounds. even though i know that's not how it was intended.

but i LOVE. THIS SONG. AUGH i love them all obviously but this one has such a special place in my heart.

It's asking somebody to "play along with" you (referring to the normal life thing) and THEN the whole "I just wanna do what's right by you"

it's just. tying together all the previous songs and like. expressing, essentially. "I'm fucked up. Are you willing to put up with me?"

or maybe im just yapping about absolutely nothing on this one idk

--

I don't know much more about the second half of this album, but I feel like diving into the lyrics of Outliars and Hyppocrates : a fun fact about apples is something i definitely need to do soon. i love this song's musical composition and.

"Don't wanna be human, anyways -- who pilots all these crude machines" ?? BANGER FUCKING LYRIC.

It's essentially just-- "the things that make you special are the things that make you strange"

meaning. get weirder with it. get fucking weirder with your art.

BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA is probably my favorite song on this album in terms of, musical composition and noise. I've pored over these lyrics soosososo many times and a lot of it goes over my head but over time I've started to understand a LOT of it and i just. augh.

also this song has such strong animatic vibes?? this is the one that makes me think SO much about my current writing project and i adore it for that.

I wish i was like. able to coherently express my thoughts on the lyrics of this song but they're just so complicated and. wow. it's. I think Will Wood totally outdid himself with this one because this is the most. Perfectly tied-together song on this entire album.

HOLY SHITTT

MARSHA, THANKK YOU FOR THE DIALETICS, BUT I NEED YOU TO LEAVE

OKAY I LIED I CAN TALK ABOUT THIS ONE ALL FUCKING DAY.

GOD.

I'M AUTISTIC. IN THE DIAGNOSIS PROCESS. AND LET ME TELL YOU I AM FUCKING OBSESED WITH THIS ONE SO MUCH.

Essentially, under our current system, any inability to perfectly execute a grueling 9-5, 5 days a week, on top of the mental labor of schooling and debt etc. is considered a disability. "Actual" diagnosed people are just the canaries in the coal mines, we're struggling soso much daily and it's just.

It's expanding upon this idea of microlabels and how Will Wood feels about them, and i honestly do think that, even though it's not the intent of this song, it can open up a conversation about how autism is not a "silly" thing. yk how the jokes have essentially become "I have (normal personality trait), is this... 'the tism'?" or the obsession with the fucking. god. "Neurospicy" thing.

^and how this improper culture/misunderstanding of neurodivergency and the need to make it more sanitized/palatable feeds into consumerism. but i can. go on a rant about that some other day.

But basically, with the lyric that "Dr., what's my prognosis if the study shows that: disease is in the eye of the beholder?" it expresses this sort of disdain, almost, with greater society's view on psychiatric abnormalities. if that. makes sense.

and then it's this constant repetition of "Back in my day ; ; ; we just drank ourselves to death. And we fucking liked it". It's also jabbing at this idea of how, in previous generations, you were generally just told to suck it up or you were left behind/ostracized entirely. It's about older generations not understanding the surge of mental health issues as of late. Closing with "We just bled out in the bed".

I love this song. So much. But I feel like this is all I'm gonna say about it because honestly this sort of discourse. Tires me out so much.

AAA OKAY

MY FUCKING LOVE MY DEARIE MY SHINING STAR I LOVE THIS NEXT SONG MORE THAN I LOVE ANYTHING ELSE ON THIS FUCKING PLANET

Love, me Normally

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THIS IS THE ONE. THIS IS THETHE THE THE THEHT EH *THE* ONE.

THIS IS THE SONG THAT I UNDERSTAND THE MOST. THIS SONG IS LITERALLY ME. ME ME EM EM ME EAUGGHGH

HOLY SHIT.

I feel like so much has already been said on this song. I want to highlight, specifically, the bridge.

This is. my favorite piece of lyricism Will Wood has EVER put out and i fucking mean that.

---

"Now this is the part of the song where I like to talk to my audience

I like to tell 'em there's something I want from you hep cats tonight

I want you to look to your left, look to your right

Your 12 o'clock, three o'clock, six o'clock, nine o'clock, rock around the clock tonight

And I want you to find those points of no return, those singularities

Those burning rings of fire in the beautiful pupils of the beautiful eyes of the beautiful

Boy, girl, neither, both, or in-between that you brought with you tonight

And I want you to tell 'em how you really feel

I want you to tell 'em that you love the way they so seamlessly, like-a-dream-fully

So beautifully, oh so dutifully

Jam that square peg in the round hole in their heart

I want you to tell 'em that you love the way

That they don't stick out like sore middle fingers

That they crawl their way up the side of the bell curve

Stick their flag in the peak, and slide their way back down

I want you to tell them that you love the way that they're not maladaptive

Not malcontent, not malignant or maleficent, but rather that you love them

Exactly the way that everybody else is!"

---

now is it. unnecessary. to paste it all in here? certainly. but i just. love this so much.

the constant motif of mentioning the bell curve is amazing, too. I love this album because of it's essential... just. Being so outside of the normal bounds of society that all you can do is sit back and observe it all like "huh".

this is another ramble that i'd have to save for another post because this is the one that i understand the most.

I personally like to view this one through the lens of aromanticism. cause i can.

Now I'm not gonna go too much into detail on Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world cause BOY is it existential.

but i do think it's a beautiful way of tying this entire album together.

this entire album is almost like a note to humanity in general, this whole "you may not listen to me ever again, but give me these 45 minutes of your life to change your outlook on all of it".

Despite this album being subjective and subversive? Deviating so strongly from the norm that the average person, hell, even most avid fans, could never begin to relate to most of it?

It has this sort of... span of the human existence, in a sense. It understands it on such a small level, and it speaks bast the barriers that we usually don't try to cross. It just says shit that nobody else has said before.

I <3 this album. So insanely much.

I think that it's honestly one of the better pieces of music period that have been put out in these last few years. nothing else is as lyrically, linguistically, or musically different. aughgg

thank you for the ask if you read to the end youre fucking insane.

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

I posted 1,977 times in 2022

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#teen wolf - 845 posts

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#peter hale. stiles appreciation

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hiii

do you know about any looong slowburn sterek fics preferably with smut? optional magic stiles👀

hehe thank you❤️

Hi anon. @kevaaronday made this list for you.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words by isthatbloodonhisshirt (25/25 | 434,625 | Explicit | Sterek) “I apologize.” The cop finally looked back up at his face, seeming thrilled. “It’s just—it’s been so long. And we finally have you.” 

That was a bad word. Not found. 

Have. 

Stiles wrenched his hand free and took a step back, but before he could even think up a gameplan, he felt a prick in his neck and jerked away, reaching up to slap one hand against it and twisting in the same moment. 

One of the others had come up behind him while he hadn’t been paying attention, and his vision began to swim even as his eyes caught sight of the half-empty syringe the guy was holding.

Put Down in Words by paintedrecs (31/31 | 203,776 | Mature | Sterek) “Oh,” Stiles said, his voice coming out low and breathy, “fuck me.”

“I don’t think that’s on the syllabus, but we can check to see if there’s a spot open in any of his classes,” Scott said, grinning.

“This isn’t an actual professor, though,” Stiles insisted, unable to resist brushing his thumb over the sharp line of the man’s bearded jaw. He was laughing at something off-camera, the shot taken in three-quarters view, his coat collar casually rumpled and opened to reveal a sliver of a simple grey t-shirt. The whole thing was deliberately calculated to lend him a more accessible feel, and god help him, Stiles was falling for it.

*

When Stiles signed up for Dr. Hale’s intro to history class, he had two goals: knock out the credits his advisor was bugging him to complete before he graduated, and spend a few hours a week daydreaming about his sexy professor’s salt and pepper beard.

Derek, a few months away from turning forty and not sure when his life had started feeling so damn lonely, had never encountered someone like Stiles before. Bright-eyed, sharp-tongued, determined to throw Derek’s carefully cultivated world into disarray…and absolutely the last person Derek should be falling in love with.

Most (Im)Proper Proposal by Welsh_Woman (72/72 | 200,136 | Explicit | Sterek) Stiles Stilinski has not seen his childhood friend for going on ten years when Derek Hale insists on meeting him in a barely reputable inn to make a rather startling proposal…

The Hollow Moon by thepsychicclam (10/10 | 180,079 | Explicit | Sterek) It's the summer after Stiles' first year of college, and he's working a crappy job and dealing with nightmares and anxiety - but he's okay, he swears. He makes it through most days without too much trouble. Then, a certain werewolf comes back into town. Which Stiles doesn't care about, nope, not at all. 

After two and a half years, Derek returns to Beacon Hills with his small Pack. Though he tried to move on, something just kept drawing him back to Beacon Hills, he's just not sure what. Now, he figures he can start building something like a life - but he keeps getting distracted by Stiles Stilinski of all people.

Teenage Love Song by HaleHathNoFury (26/26 | 155,834 | Explicit | Sterek) Stiles is sick and tired of how much he fucks up. His dad is disappointed, his step-mom judges and his step-brother can do no wrong. It's not that he doesn't love them, he just gets so tired of being different. Now he's being moved lock, stock and barrel to Beacon Hills aka the town his mom grew up in so they can go live in his grandma's house and his father can get him back on the straight and narrow. 

It's going to suck.

B.E.A.C.O.N. by Mythological_Compendium (43/43 | 140,691 | Explicit | Sterek) "What better situation could there possibly be? We'll be pretty much stuck together, we can talk, drink and maybe later even…”

A scoff. “What? Have reunion sex?”

He shrugs. “It's been four years.”

Same Old Song and Dance by Halevetica (91/91 | 125,721 | Explicit | Sterek) Raised in the hunter life after his father was killed, Stiles hates werewolves. So when he lands a contract to kill the alpha of the pack that killed his father, he's elated. Until he runs into complications. The alpha is smart and strong and playing a game Stiles can't figure out. When secrets are revealed and new enemies made, Stiles must decide for himself what side he's on and who he can trust.

Bruises and Bitemarks by orphan_account (27/27 | 121,566 | Explicit | Sterek) Biologically, Stiles is weak. When he presented as an omega, he knew that to be the truth but that never stopped him from running his mouth as a defense mechanism. However, it could only save him so many times before he ended up pissing off the wrong person. After he's attacked in the parking lot outside of school, Stiles realizes he can no longer protect himself with just pure wit and sarcasm. When the attack lands him in the hospital, his dad forces him to pick between two options, report the alphas who attacked him or join a kickboxing gym run by omega rights activist and alpha, Derek Hale, a man Stiles has been in love with for many years.

Strip by Fessst (23/23 | 117,194 | Explicit | Sterek) "Singletail whip. Your favorite, isn't it?"

Red. Stiles felt nauseated as he bent over the bench. Red. The tremble only increased when his wrists and ankles were secured with leather straps. Red. He heard the Dom behind him give a sample crack of the whip in the air. Red. This would likely pierce his skin. So fucking Red.

"What's your safeword?"

Red.

"Stiles?"

See the full post

364 notes - Posted October 23, 2022

#4

I’m in awe of this blog and the amazing people that run it!! Do you know of any Sterek fics where Scott is a bad friend to Stiles and so he spends more time with the Hale pack/Derek? I read one a long time ago on AO3 where Scott walks in on Sterek and he gets mad but I can’t remember what it was called

I sure do!

The only thing I know, came from dreaming. by gunsknivesandplaid

(1/? I 4,660 I Mature I Lydia/Jackson/Stiles)

Stiles just wants to Leave the city where ghosts of his past follow him, He walks right into his soul mate. Problem is he doesn't think he deserves this literal magical phenomenon. Wants to just ignore it, because he's not ever going to get a real break from the chaos. Will He be proven wrong? Will he let himself fall, with the chance of being hurt again?

Stop Crossing Oceans by greenleaf

(1/1 I 11,654 I Mature I Sterek)

“There are no absolutes, Scott! No hard rights or hard wrongs! The world doesn’t fucking work that way and we can’t afford to think like that, because people are going to die! We signed up for that the moment we got involved with all this!”

“We? We?” Scott hisses. “Don’t you think you? Don’t forget that you’re the one who dragged us into that forest the night it all started, Stiles. So if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s yours.”

Something inside Stiles cracks, so strong and so deep that he practically hears it.

(Actually) Magic Bullet by orphan_account

(1/1 I 2,020 I Teen I Sterek)

It wasn't like Stiles was about to saw off his own mate's arm, Jesus...

He used magic instead; of course, magic required a slightly more...hands-on approach. If Derek wanted to include a little makeout session, well. Stiles wasn't complaining.

How Derek’s Brain Works by Warlock_Nerd

(15/18 I 25,934 I Teen I Sterek)

After looking at Derek’s childhood medical file, Stiles finds out that Derek was diagnosed with Autism at the age of eight. So in Stiles Stilinski fashion, he dives into research on how to help understand Derek’s condition and also help Derek understand it himself.

Glowing eyes by 0809m

(16/? I 37,852 I Teen I Sterek)

"If you accept it, the bite will take. Someone so loyal like you, with so much will, you're born to be like this Stiles." Derek says.

Stiles stays in silence a big amount of time. He really wants this, as much as he would like to think, he can't protect himself and he can't count with Scott, not anymore. He wants this.

"Do it." He says, no trace of doubt in his voice.

stuck in reverse by crazyassmurdererwall (smartalli)

(1/1 I 65,656 I Explicit I Sterek)

Look, Derek is the worst. Everyone knows that. Their fearless leader is a total and complete failwolf.

Which means the rest of them? Are kind of the worst too. They’re a ramshackle, slap dashed, sorry excuse for a pack that’s about a half second away from getting one of them killed. And this is a problem, because Stiles would really like to survive high school. Thanks.

Still, nobody deserves what Derek has gone through. Nobody.

And it’s about time somebody told him that.

The Overlooked by HarleyJQuin

(32/32 I 108,266 I Mature I Stackson)

See the full post

386 notes - Posted March 19, 2022

#3

hii do you know any fics wgere the sheriff calls derek son or treats him like one??

Yeah!

Denial by thejoyfulfox for CurlzAbound

(1/1 I 4,924 I General I Sterek)

Scott thinks they're flirting. Isaac's betting on Derek sniffing him. The Sheriff thinks they're dating. Erica and Boyd are rooting for them. Derek's waiting for him to figure it out.

Stiles is the only one in denial.

light returning by lilysaid

(1/1 I 32,993 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek skips town just after the Nogitsune. When he realizes his mistake, he sets off to find Stiles, make amends, and keep his feelings for Stiles hidden. Two out of three isn't bad.

Pining, bed sharing, highly-suspect platonic touching, and shameless adoration of Derek's beard.

Love Don't Die by Finduilas

(1/1 I 33,459 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek is nine years old when he discovers the gift that he's been given. A gift that he didn't necessarily ask for. Derek can touch dead things and bring them back to life. But not without consequences and conditions, many of which are heartbreaking.

Many years later, his path crosses that of his childhood sweetheart, Stiles, in very unfortunate circumstances. But now, Derek's gift gives him the power to save Stiles. And damned be the consequences.

The New Normal by midnightcas

(27/27 I 63,392 I Teen I Sterek)

After Stiles gets hurt...again, Derek puts him on the metaphorical supernatural bench. Meanwhile, Stiles tries to have a normal life and make normal friends. But when a new pack comes to town and the Hales start getting threats, things start to get a little....not normal.

AND

@npgirardog and @hokee101 suggested this one!

Sharing Food by aussiebee

(2/2 I 9,564 I Explicit I Sterek)

"Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly." ― M.F.K. Fisher

Or

Derek is pretty much absorbed into the Stilinski family, one meal at a time.

404 notes - Posted March 21, 2022

#2

Do you guys have any stories where Derek is the alpha of the pack, but stiles is really the one in charge, like he's the alpha mate, or the emissary and every one listens to him.

Yeah.

To Find Your Home by adara

(1/1 I 14,905 I Teen)

The wind shifts just as he is is about to lay into the trespassers for disturbing this place, this private property, the place where Laura took her last breaths. Alone. The place he had come to look for his own clues in the daylight, to say goodbye to the only family he really had left. His breath catches for an altogether different reason when the shifted breeze reaches him. He stops thinking about Laura for a moment as his brain simply shuts down, taking in the sight of his mate before him.

The More That I Know You (the more I want to) by LadySlytherin 

(1/1 I 43,656 I Mature)

When death, in the form of hunters, comes for a family of Kelpies seeking refuge in the Preserve - in Hale territory - the Hale Pack is too late to save them. Before he dies, the male Kelpie presses a precious bundle into Stiles’ arms and begs the Emissary to take responsibility for it, which an initially reluctant Stiles does. When he agreed, Stiles had no idea what the sight of him with a baby would do to his esteemed Alpha, Derek. If he’d known, he might not have been so reluctant to agree.

Came For The Spark, Stayed For The Flame by orphan_account

(15/15 I 54,091 I Mature)

Derek felt the panic build up in his chest as Jezebel held out a hand. He smelled it before he saw it, because who could forget the scent of what destroyed your life? Fire and spark and smoke curled from Jezebel's hands, and the wood stacked at Stiles' feet flared up.

When Stiles and Derek get bonded as Emissary-and-Alpha, hidden attractions become a lot harder to hide, secrets are kept and secrets are surfaced, and an evil teenage girl is planning even more ritualistic sacrifice.

558 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Must Read Fics

I asked, ya'll answered. Here's the list. More under the cut cause it's long. Enjoy.

@lovesouthernsweettea

Play Crack the Sky by WeAreTheCyclones

(23/23 I 122,787 I Mature I Sterek)

Excerpt from “Hale Pulls the Plug on the Future of Rock,” Rolling Stone, Issue 1203 – Oct. 2014 “Fans and music industry vets alike are left reeling in the wake of bassist Derek Hale’s sudden departure from Smokes for Harris. At a time when the foursome from Beacon Hills, California seems to be on the cusp of rock superstardom after just one double platinum record, Smokes has everything to lose.”

Excerpt from “Smokes for Harris: Gladiator,” SPIN.com – Feb. 2015 “Smokes for Harris gives in a little to the pop punk of yesteryear in their sophomore effort, but rather than pandering to fans of a lost era they elevate the genre in a way that hasn’t been seen in quite some time. Frontman Stiles Stilinski works double duty as singer and primary songwriter and proves that he can handle the task even without former bassist Derek Hale."

@dereles

Safety in Silence by Survivah

(5/5 I 66,901 I Mature I Sterek)

It's perfectly understandable. Even Derek wouldn't want to be Derek's soulmate.

@ceriat

The Moon's Gonna Follow Me Home by turningterrific

(2/2 I 82,866 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek doesn’t want to call the window repair guy. He doesn’t want to sweep up the glass. He’ll inevitably miss a few shards and pull them out of the bottom of his bare feet for weeks.

He doesn’t want to try to make this place feel like home when it isn’t.

Derek stayed in Beacon Hills and tried to make it work because he wanted pack, wanted purpose. He gave his best effort and found himself back where he started: alone, with a few begrudging allies. He’s tired, and even though his werewolf body heals quickly, he feels the weary ache down to his center.

He packs his car with the few things he cares about enough to drag them from place to place. He locks the loft and calls a realtor about listing the building he’d bought in a misguided attempt to secure a future.

And then he leaves.

@kitchenisking

A Desperate Arrangement by mikkimouse

(29/29 I 115,506 I Explicit I Sterek)

"I'm sorry, I believe there's something wrong with my hearing," Stiles said. "Because I could have sworn you just told me you set up a betrothal agreement with the Hales. A betrothal agreement involving me. Me."

Scott smiled his easygoing smile and nodded, which told Stiles no, he hadn't misheard a damn thing.

After seven years of lengthy negotiations, the treaty between the Hales and the Argents has fallen apart and the two countries fell into war.

Months later, there's an uneasy truce, thanks to the intervention of King Scott McCall, but it won't last. In a desperate attempt to maintain the peace, the Hales sign a treaty with the McCalls to marry Prince Derek to Prince Stiles Stilinski, King Scott's brother.

In the history of the world, there have been many better ideas.

@minmu

It's Insanity, but... by rosepetals42

(12/12 I 79,678 I Mature I Sterek)

See the full post

593 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[iilmunchkiin]

STRAWPAGE DOODLES!! + asks

Oh hello Ceroba! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) (Sorry for replying to this late HAJKAHDHSDDASHDK)

WHOAA!! He looks so pointy I love it!

GAHH!! Thank you for the warning that was so scary (＃°Д°)!! I don't really draw Chujin do I? I can probably make him a good design or two..

Awww cutie! Hello!! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) You look familiar...

kys maki i hate you (Jk thanks man 'ppreciate it (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) you should fucking kys tho) /lh

MANAGER I SWEAR TO GOD DONT SPOIL THE FUCKING DECAY AU IM GOING TO CLOG YOUR FUCKING TOILET

ME ACTUALLY I can never see corn the same ever again all I think about is barney's vampire sona and a nerdy starfish.

dude what i'd love to have someone like u in whiteboard wtf

OHHH THATS A GOOD IDEA, I could make a throwaway account...

You're right about it being inaccurate why tf are his ears part of his skull huh also hi Bernard :3

WAAHHAHHAHASDASDJKADJSAD????? ALRIGHT THEN. I envy how much time you have to draw, oh my goddddddd.....

She said :P

Omg.... it's sans rattertale...

Hi normal about rats, nice to meet you I'm LM! *My eyes sparkle and I offer you my hand for a handshake ( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧*

DALV SPOTTED OMG DALV LSAKSD DLAV LDALV DALV DALVVVVVV HE HEHEHEHJASDJASDASDJASKJKAD HELLO HELLOOOO HELLOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POOKIE WOOKIE CUTIE PATOOTIE BEARRRR :3

...holy shit. new headcanon. NEW HEADCANON. N E W H E A D C A N O N .

THAT EXPLAINS WHY HE ATTACKED FIRST OMG I WANNA DO A CHARACTER ANALYSIS ON DALV NOW OMGOGMGMGOGMOMGOMGOGGM GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Thank you! You too!! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) ____________________________

Sorry if my responses sound tired, I am, just finished adding to my Starlo character analysis thingg,eefv,,,,,,,, mmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,,,,,

[coconox]

honestly been going back and forth w myself on a lot of things lately attaching a read more for the sake of ik i'll be rambling like theres no tmr

a part of me wants to drop pnc but i havent really gotten everyone i wanted yet + im broke so i need to build my stash up *looks at clotho and eos* oddly enough pnc has been a game ive been pretty happy on playing still hate how i missed a login day tho tbf ive rarely borderline never interacted w the fandom so me just being in the dark w what goes on there has kinda been a blessing and a curse in a sense that i can enjoy the game in peace but it feels like im alone doing so

pgr im really REALLY tempted on dropping my glb acc, once nocti comes around which will prob be around the end of the school yr for me thats where i'd be like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ welp ig im done and drop that acc after playing around w nocti and whatev. tw im still not too sure abt?? prob when i get around to lvling up my main teams i can be like ok im done and drop that at any time since im just there to experience content ahead of time without being in cn directly

before dropping pgr entirely i do wanna complete a few stuff i had in mind tho

countdown for hyperreal which will prob happen bambi patch

still need to finish that nocti countdown for tw ive barely had any motivation completing that

nocti's bday countdown (similar to how lee's went)

glb nocti's countdown

draw every char up to latest one in cn

a few noctiskk comics thats been in the back of my head for MONTHS now

basically LOTS of countdowns and nocti stuff before i drop everything entirely

will i still draw pgr stuff after all that? mayyybeee???? itll moreso be towards kye's lore building rather than it being a standalone thing. i'll still collect merch and build up my shrines and make cosplay for chars but aside from that i'm pretty much gonna be moving on to other things

ive always had 50/50 feelings w being in the pgr fandom, tho being introduced to it on disc and then going to twt may have affected my views on this whole thing. esp when the side of the fandom i was first introduced to is like the lowest of the low, i dont want to go back to a place where a bunch of dudebro incels made fun of me for being afab and liking lee and me thinking that was a norm when it clearly isnt. its been 2 goddamn yrs and theyre still poking fun at that?? like my god grow up im so sick and tired of it.

if by a slim chance i still want to participate in being in the pgr fandom i'll just go back to lurking like ive always done in prev fandoms, if i really wanna be active in talking abt the game i'll talk abt it in servers or dms, but publicly i felt that i could never really comfortably talk abt how i feel abt it aside from here cause this site >>>>>> bc i felt like my opinions arent valid, tho that really applies to anything i do so 💀💀

pgr has been a really nice game for me to destress and detach myself from reality for a bit, tho now i wanna move on to other games and focus more on my ocs like i did back in the day. once i properly set up everyone's lore doc maybe in the future i'll make a game around them, nothing too big since i'll pretty much be making most of it, but i kinda wanna fulfill my childhood dream that was just recently unlocked

theres also that small part of me that wants to be known for my oc stuff rather than pgr stuff, but bc im not tagging w popular art tags im kinda just existing, and thats fine by me. hitting 500+ follows on twt was like peak realization of me going like "oh shit, 😨 maybe this big of a following aint for me" and it truly isnt lol

[wishing-stones]

hii! sorry to bother, but if youre still doing the match ups i also wanted to try

im a very creative person and i enjoy crocheting, knitting and making jewelry but i especially LOVE writing and and drawing, but my biggest flaw is that i get bored easily so i never finish a project i start. it also has to do with the fear of never doing good enough and my lack of energy but my short attention span is the main problem

i can go from jumping around stimming and ranting about my day to silently listening to people talk without saying anything. there is no in between, but i tend to match with the personality of who im talking to

i also am very affectionate. obviously if my partner isn’t comfortable with it i wouldn’t be too close, but i can be very clingy and touchy with people i care about. otherwise (if the physical affection isnt on the table) i need a lot of reassurance and words of affirmation. personally i always think i can be very annoying and that scares me a bit, but when i love someone i love LOVE them so at least im a loving significant other.

im actually italian but with latino parents and my english is pretty good (at least i hope so), so it would be a surprise to find out what language im speaking when im mad/excited/tired.

oh my god i was scared i wouldn’t know what to write and i just realized how much i actually wrote SORRY FOR THE LONG

have a good day i love your writing you always make my day BYE!

Hey! Another creative heart for Ink! He knows intimately the struggles with not thinking your work is good enough, or losing steam to finish it. He hates seeing this (partially out of fear, because too much of that makes the multiverse get quiet, and if it gets abandoned, it's curtains for him) and will do whatever he can to inspire you! He believes in you! What you have done is really, really good, you should finish it! He'll even help you with ideas if you're feeling stuck, he's great at figuring out ways to inspire!

Prepare for a lot of excited chattering, but he can just as easily sit with you in the quiet while you do something either together or separately. He'll always listen to you talk about your day, and despite his terrible short-term memory, is a very good active listener.

Fortunately for you, Ink is also pretty touchy-feely, and loves hugs and snuggles. He also doesn't think you're annoying at all, because... he's very similar. He's very cuddly and likes the feeling of someone else being close to him (so that he knows he isn't alone.) The only issue you might run into is a little reluctance to put the capital L on 'love,' he can't truly feel these emotions, but he at least knows that he's happy around you, which is enough for him.

Ink speaks French as a start, but Italian and French both fall into 'romance languages,' so he could parse it pretty quick. So does Spanish. He knows some words and phrases, but he would love to learn more!

A good secondary option would be Blue for matching energy and for being close. He and Ink both have a lot of enthusiasm, but Ink is the one better suited for someone struggling with creativity. Regardless, if you're with one, you'll be friends with the other!

[bugflies00]

5. Anything you haven’t drawn yet but want to?

6. Which artists inspire you right now?

7. Favourite works of all time excluding your own?

8. What do you like most about your own work?

19. Favourite character(s) to draw?

20. What works have you drawn fanart of?

5. every day im plagued with visions i never fulfill so im just gonna unload a bunch of them onto you : finishing that clingyduo animatic, finishing the sokeefe art, maybe?? drawing roman sanders again after so long just to see??, a like proper Big dsmp tribute piece but i dont really know what, figuring out my ctechno design & drawing more c!emeraldduo and cbedrockbros, FINALLY drawing ctntduo, and a bunch of other things

ALSO specifically ANIMATIC ideas here is a list of ones that have plagued my mind for some as long as two years : burning pile (mother mother) with c!crimeboys i have had this particular one on the brain since literally early 2021 i have every frame planned out in my mind but i just cannot seem to do it, jack's lament (the nightmare before christmas) with c!wilbur THIS ONE is pretty specific but Oh it could be so cool, rasputin with c!wilbur just to have some fun, they're only human (death note the musical but specifically this version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrZolM3uCds) with c!emerald duo, money money money (ABBA) with c!beeduo this one would be very silly just antics and ctubbo being a gold digger LMAO, hang on little tomato (pink martini) with c!crimeboys OH THIS ONE LET ME TELL YOU THIS ONE HAUNTS ME IT'S SO SWEET BUT ALSO SO SAD, and finally history has its eyes on you (hamilton) with pogtopia c!crimeboys obviously because i have the illness and i never left 2020 <3

6. this is mostly mcytblr artists and some of them havent even posted since like 2021 but to name a few @/pigsteprap @/copepods @/miniaturekeytar @/wolfythewitch @/birdiebrunch @/corph1a @/somedeimi and @/winter-mornings all have really really cool art you should check out ^__^

7. my brain is fried currently so normally i would make you a list but i can only think of like. monet's nymphéas which is basic yeah but i really really like 'em. also vermeer's milkmaid . also a lot of romantic art cause its my favourite :] but im just too tired to think of examples

and also a lot of the art of the people i just listed

8. oh this is hard i dont really. mhmmm. i guess i like? my colouring? idk man

19. ill let you take a wild guess on that one

20. oh god. well obviously dsmp. otherwise sanders sides, kotlc, warrior cats, harry potter (sorryyy haven't for years though), and probably others here and there but those were the main ones

anyway keep the artist asks coming guys i really like them cause they require like proper thinking more than the other silly asks (which are also cool !! dont get me wrong)

[s1llydr3amscape]

🐰🩸, 😈❓, 🎂🫂, 🍬

sorry for multiple, i am curious!! (feel free to not answer any of em if you dont feel like it!)

🩸🐰 :

EXPLODES EXPLODES EXPLODES SPINS INTO THE SKY!!!!

Vanessa wahhh!!!!! Sometimes I feel like if put to much off myself Into her because that's what usually happens when I love a character too much. I feel like another reason Vanessa doesn't usually ask for help is because whenever she did ask for it it just ended fricking her over.

Like growing up 4 me asking for help is either a life or death sentence. Like idk probably culture shit but asking for help Is a sign of weakness and if you can't immediately do something you're a failure. Your value is how useful you are and probably why Vanessa is reluctantly obeying Glitchtrap like that shit is ingrained with you. It doesn't go away! Even after she gets to be free from their control asking for help is still to hard for her.

Vanessa after sb probably overwokrs herself because now she has things to worry about and also like mouths to feed. She has to be useful she has to. Why else would she be allowed to live and like thankfully she learns it's OK to rely on others. She learns it's ok to ask for help it's not a burden.

😈❓️ :

Imma be real Im kinda me with willy that much but that's because being autistic abt vanessa and during her early days and ppl kept shipping him w her left and right left me very very bitter. But like I do like how most ppl write him and how much off a freak he is!!!! I think he did it for immortality honestly. Sometimes, I feel like he preferred robots over humans because he wanted to be a robot. Like no hunger, no pain, no tired that kinda jazz. Also why he likes wearing the springbonnie suit a lot!!!

Also hearing summaries abt the book willy it's like damn bro wtf 😭 Gaslighting ur own kids and giving children heart attacks with the nightmare gas?!?! In this au tho I want him to care abt his kids in his own fucked up way.

So what happened was when he became Springtrap he was ecstatic yay I'm my fursona forever now but also AFGHGHH THE SPRINGLOCKS.

Also like im so glad in the graphic novel they made him bald when he was experimenting with remnant!!! LIKE YEAH BRO DECAY DECAY DECAY!!!!! Also probably why he killed more kids than adults is because he probably thought younger people would make his immortality last longer.

🎂🫂:

I like to think they did. Why because I love bittersweet endings a lot. Charlie thinking she could save them by giving them another chance at life. Yet they remained trapped in those dingy suits forced to stay there and do the same things over and over and over again. I'm sure some of them were bitter with what she did.

They're all kids after all sometimes they just see the black and white and not the grey off it all. But before their tension they were probably the closest friends ever. I think they all drew alot and even made characters roleplaying with eachother!! Projecting hehehe my irls and I would draw and self insert eachother into different media. I think they'd do the same!

🍬 :

Im in a Elizabeth mood. Sorry i love ffps a lot!!

I never really focus on the human characters in my aus besides Vanessa because I feel like I can't write ppl that well. Like idk how to describe it It's like I feel like seeing others work of the human characters is freaking more peak to me. Also just like not feeling like a person sometimes and just going oh yeah these are human activities!!!! Also i think cuz like when I joined fnaf when it first came out I liked the animal characters more like we can attach any headcanon we wanted because well heheh they barely had any personality traits

I do write them in my more serious au and me just hyper analysing the game they're from and anything that could be related to em especially with the afton kids specifically Elizabeth my fave out of em because ughhh this poor girl like I haven't read the silver eyes trilogy sadly but from the summaries. God this poor girl just gets taken over by the robot AI and its like ughhh 😭😭😭 and apparently William told Baby to kill herself LIKE WHAT WHATS GOING ON IN THOSE BOOKS? I love father daughter dynamics.

FFPS Just hurts more because she's like this is a gift you've given us before getting cut off by Henry but it hurts more becayse she's trying to be a good daughter and follow in his father footsteps!!! William doesn't even acknowledge it at all in the game. No lines nothing he's just it's like he's avoiding her embarrassed by his own mistake about letting his own creation kill his own kid again. Leaving her to rot in the basement and letting Micheal go in his place instead like why did you do that why why why she likes to play pretend.

In the end maybe she pretended to much that her father loved her so much and that's why she has to be good. He must've left her down there because she went to visit baby without his permission like ughhh 😭😭😭😭 The fact she got kicked out of Ennard too like she's still bossy and in charge and I just love that cuz we got a sick ass fnaf design. But also since the funtimes have their own AI maybe being trapped down there for so long with her believing her fantasies and trusting her to go into Micheal before being ejected out from him. They ended up hating her because they wanted to kill and kidnap kids cuz off what Willy wrote in their AI

So she's just left alone again after having the people she spent her entire childhood with leave her because unlike people they're not like her. And just wahhh her and Charlie 😭😭😭😭 I could go on about that (ended up liking em cuz of some fanart) like they know eachohter right both the daughters of their fathers who work together. Like in FFPS they hate eachother. Projecting again but my parents used to love shit talking my friends parents so I wonder if it ever happened.

Do they hate eachother too?? Is it passed down?? Are they friends here did they both realise they both went a different path in life. One bringing life the other bringing death. Do they ever get to reconcile in the fire realising that in another life they could've been friends or even more.

Like HUHHHH THAT FANART KILLED ME 😭😭😭😭 also I think k the main reason I got so attached to Vanessa is cuz off how they both lowkey parallel eachother. Like Liz dynamic with Willy and Nessie dynamic with Glitchy.

[coridallasmultipass]

Vent personal medical long post

So the shit week continues. No new painkillers, i took the last expired hydrocodone, so if im still in pain tomorrow im gonna have to cut a morphine in half and see if i can tolerate it (i took a whole 15mg one on sunday when my back pain first went out, and while it helped it was way too much painkiller and i got so nauseous. The hydrocodone is 1/3 of the morphine dose, and i dont know how to cut this tiny fucking morphine pill into 3. I dunno if its even big enough to be cut in half!!)

The specialist did get me a back xray which was normal (as expected), and physical therapy, which is good, except i can only attend if i get an appointment within 2 weeks, because after that i wont have a ride, and the distance to walk there is 2.5 miles steep downhill (fine. Ive done that walk before. It would suck because of the pain.) But coming back home after the appointment would be 2.5 miles steep uphill when im probably extremely sore and can barely walk after physical therapy (has always been the case whenever ive gone to pt) and i dont think i can fucking do 5 miles. I can hardly walk the stairs in my house. (Warned u bout the stairs dogg) The occasional 3 mile round trip that i do to go to the post office when i dont have access to a car is bad enough that it puts me out of commission, especially bc its all uneven terrain no sidewalks.

I tried calling anyway and its voicemail so theyre probably at lunch right now. But it still sucks. Im so fucking tired of this.

I hate having to rely on other people - doctors or family. I hate having to make and attend so many appointments. And im not even fucking doing everything i need to. I saw this pt place has pain management (i didnt think there was any in this area so i gave up on that) so i can try asking for that too, but again, thats more appointments i need to coordinate, and last time i did pain management they basically said "see a psychiatrist for antidepressants or try medical marijuana bc we cant do anything else for you" lmao (i did the mm despite never having tried it before. It helps but its not enough lol). My current psychiatrist has exhausted every medical option for my depression. So its either they give me painkillers or something else idk what, or i just stay home and continue to suffer.

And thats a whole nother thing the rheumatologist today was like "oh why did you stop antidepressants if youre in so much pain??" My duDE I WAS SO MISERABLE AND COULDNT DO ANYTHING AT ALL. FOR FIVE FUCKING YEARS. Once i stopped antidepressants, i was able to start exercising regularly, i started drawing and writing with more enjoyment (had not drawn with regularity since 2019!!), i am more present in life, like... doing antidepressants was the worst fucking 5 years of my life. None of them helped my depression, they only made me worse. I tried every branch of them and not a single one helped. Im still fucking depressed and anxious as shit taking methylphenidate but hard evidence points to it being a great help compared with anything else ive ever taken. God that fucking "treatment resistant depression" diagnosis was the worst fucking thing. Theres like nothing else to try except super niche experimental treatments that insurance wont cover and they dont accept secondary insurance (which is the one that i could probably get to cover a new treatment but it takes a lot of coordination on both parties, like what im doing for my tmj problems and getting aligners). Ughhh. I dont wanna fucking do experimental shit either. Unless someone wants to donate me an ayahuasca vacation or something lmao. (Joke, i dont have a passport and i dont wanna pause all my other meds)

It sucks that none of my medical problems are treatable. I got permanent depression/anxiety/ocd/whatever other things that are undiagnosed despite my requests for testing. Permanent endometriosis (no cure and my body isnt accepting the medical or sugical treatments). Lifelong teeth problems (unknown if this new treatment will help my teeth or jaw yet but like.. arthritis is also lifelong and damage is damage). Arthritis thats lifelong but Mostly managed, at least during warm seasons. Permanent untreatable fibromyalgia (the antidepressants are the only medical treatment for it and never helped with pain, maybe even made it worse, and no one wants to give me painkillers anymore since like 2015. Sucks that old people can get painkillers like candy but because im young and hide my pain really well i get treated like an addict. My mom was like 'your gramma gets painkillers all the time!!' Yeah but im not in my 70s. Theres age bias here.) I got chronic untreated gerd (well, i take otc meds, and my attempts to treat it got canceled bc thats when covid was rampant, and the doc stopped prescribing me stronger meds bc i hadnt seen him in a while, bUT I LITERALLY COULDNT GET IN BC OF COVID. I just dont eat any of my favourite acidic foods anymore. I miss tomatoes. Sometimes i gotta eat them and just triple up on 3 different antacids and deal with the sore throat the next day). Well, was gonna say i got chronic insomnia but thats probably the only thing thats fully treated by 2 meds and sometimes weed. (But like. Im a nightowl. Its just that i have to fit in with society to get up in the morning for appointments. I have that like delayed body clock issue lol. So in a way it kind of is still a chronic issue, but at least im getting a full night of sleep when the body pain isnt extreme.)

But yeah. It sucks to be me. Dunno where im going w this post. Its just so frustrating when youre telling the doctor you're in constant pain and hes like 'i know. See you in a couple months.' Rheumatologists are supposed to treat fibro. But i always get hot potatoed to the next doctor. Like i get it, i am untreatable, but someone please do something! Ugh. Like theres really no options besides painkillers or weed, and i can only use weed in the evenings bc my family doesnt approve (literally said the most vile shit when i mentioned the pain clinic recommended it), plus cant use it if im gonna drive somewhere - in theory, i dont have a license lol but the point is i shouldnt have to take an intoxicant during the day!! Painkillers at the lowest dose do not intoxicate me, and in fact, make me more lucid bc it lifts the fucking fog of pain!! Wish doctors would understand how much they helped me in the past. When i was on the combo of painkillers and the arthritis med im on now, i was literally going for jogs every fucking day. I have proof of it. I probably couldnt do that now bc im a lot heavier and a lot sicker, but the point is i can be more active if im not in pain, and being active helps both the arthritis and fibro! Ughhhh.

Online is like "painkillers have not been shown to help fibro" bull fucking shit. Maybe im an odd one out. But ive been diagnosed since i was 12 and fit the fucking symptoms. They fucking help and ive been off them for so many fucking years now while all my health has deteriorated. Do you know how miserable it is to find out you have fibromyalgia affecting the nerves around your teeth? On top of my tmj problems!! I can barely eat anything since starting the aligners because my mouth is in too much pain!!

The only thing painkillers havent helped was the fucking endometriosis, which ironically, is the only reason i even have painkillers on hand for my back injury.

And god fuck i do not want to think abt the endo. Theres no quality of life when im panicking every day about when the next flare up is gonna happen. Theres no hope there bc theres no treatment that works for me. I already had a hysto but it was probably too late since the endo spread. Idk if im gonna survive the next flare. Especially because i have to stop taking the med that was possibly helping since ive been on it too long. The doctors ive been seeing have just been like "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it" which is just causing more anxiety because the bridge is like. This next month. Whenever theres a flare up, i have to stop ALL my arthritis meds just so i can take advil since thats the only thing that provides me some relief (and thats terrifying bc advil has given me an ulcer before! Because of taking it during a period and i was in too much pain to sit up for 10 minutes after taking it. Fuck endo.) Idk what to do.

Anyway. Thats the sitch. Ill try calling for pt again since this took a while to type. If theyre still closed, well, i guess ill just go fuck myself.

[dullweapons]

" has time not worn you out , ray ? " it's a genuine question , far from demeaning or taunting - very unlike him should one have met him timelines ago being ever so loyal to demise . a sigh and he stretched as he started walking again . " let someone else deal with the burden . that little hero always does his part , doesn't he ? who are we to interrupt that arduous process ? " - @flamboycnt ( specifically bo.tw era ! )

has time not worn you out , ray ?

what a stupid question : of course he's tired . he's lived just as long as you , lord ghirahim . he's seen the execution of gods , the rains fall until oceans rise & consume all . he raised monsters in an army to fell the crown & resurrect ganon . then watch it all come together only for the calamity to rip it to shreds . he's lost thousands of men in battle . lovers come & gone like a blink of his eye . yet here he stands before you . an echo of what he once was but still standing . like the ruins of akkala he was built to last .

so yes , he's worn out . threadbare to the point of being transparent . a single touch could render him nought but dust & ash ... but he's still here .

he walks behind the other demon as he stretches out before him . ray goes to answer but ghirahim speaks once more ⸻ & ray stops following . that little hero . yes , he always does his part . the goddesses little dog that always follows his orders thinking it is his free will that guides him even after learning of his fate to fight demise's hate to protect the land & the disgusting blood of the goddess . over & over again this little tale will be told . the stage dressing might be different & the actors may have different lines but always the same .

his hands ball into fists , his leather gloves straining under the pressure of his rage . what an arduous process indeed .

❝ you know he failed , correct . when the calamity struck he died . the king died ⸻ & i led the army to akkala where they died . where i died for fifty years . zelda locked away in the castle holding back our god . biding time until that little failure gets to try again ... ❞ he looks away , trying to swallow the anger that bubbles in his chest . return to apathy . let your heart rest in nihilism . its comfortably numb there ...

❝ my apologies , my lord ... but , what makes you think we have no role in this ... you feel it don't you . we're lucky he is mindless lest we'd be ordered to kill the remaining civilians ⸻ i almost want to . ❞ his hands are shaking .

im sick with hatred for hyrule .

the demon can't contain it , it boils in his body like a sickness - a fever ! this hatred . this utter madness to sit here & allow all of this to continue ! why does the goddess pick favorites ? why does god allow this suffering to endure through the enos ? does she think it's funny ? are you amused at the suffering of your people . they worships you like a child worships their parents . but oh ⸻ he knows the pain of falling out of love with them too . he growls before pivoting at the spot to a tree ... & slams his fist into the hard bark , rendering the tree into two . with a loud thud it falls to the grounds of the woods & the mist rushes away from them . he draws his blade & hacks into the tunk over & over again , wood splitters flying . he continues until there is nothing left but pieces & scarred earth in front of him & his blade . the weapon falls from his hand as his breath is labored .

❝ ... where is your anger . why aren't you as upset as i am . being forced to watch this over & over again : i want to destroy everything in my path for cursing me with this knowledge that this ⸻ this hell will never end . ❞