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xoruffitup · 4 years

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Adam Driver on SNL: 1/25 Dress Rehearsal Recap

I’m having dejavu of the best kind. I’m sitting here on the bus on my way back from NYC in hungover euphoria and overjoyed disbelief at everything I just experienced, texting new friends and old, recounting everything in my head and smiling so hard. The September 2018 weekend of Adam’s last SNL show lives in my memory in unmatched infamy, so my excitement was off the charts to do it all again. And because this show was absolutely fucking INCREDIBLE, this weekend delivered in every way all over again!! Seriously, my face aches from how I can’t stop smiling aksnksj HELP :’)

My friends and I were in the Dress Rehearsal, so below the cut are retellings of ALLLL the skits including those cut from the Live show - and no small amount of helpless emotional flailing.

I had an idea of what to expect after attending Adam’s 2018 show, but I nevertheless felt sky-high levels of anxiety when Sarah and we arrived at the NBC shop at 6:30. I knew rationally that our chances of getting into Dress were good with numbers #12 - 14, but every now and then there’s the occasional oddity of only a handful of Standby people getting in. Though even without any uncertainty in the equation, my entire being goes on Hyped/Anxious Overdrive anyway whenever I’m about to be in the same space as Adam sO really there’s nothing for it. :’)

They lined us up by numbers, I did a lot of emotional wobbling like “I can’t believe we’re here again together guys waaaah” (have I mentioned I met these girls at Adam’s last show? Full circle moment of the highest and most beautiful caliber and it had me hella verklempt), and thennnn - drumroll and hushed silence please - the main security guy comes up to the giant line and asks the first 20 people to come with him.

As they constantly remind you throughout this thoroughly nerve-wracking process, there is no guarantee you’ll actually get into the show until you’re physically in the seat. It’s a long, harrowing trip from the NBC store where the line gathers, up stairs, elevators, and through hallways to reach the studio, and you can still be cut even as far as the very last checkpoint if all seats fill up with the people ahead of you. So as you get closer, the excitement spikes higher and higher but so does the worry! We went through security, and then I clung to our new Standby line friend Catherine’s arm as they lined us up two-by-two on the first staircase, with Sarah and @reylonly right behind. I was likely extremely annoying as I couldn’t help being rambly and weird in my nerves and compulsively hugging my girls’ arms. @reylonly did her very best to calm my hot mess down, bless her.

About 45 minutes later (Maybe? I had no idea what time was, lbr) we reached the final point of the elevator and last hallway, and were held just outside the studio. THEN - the woman there instructed the next 4 to follow her in (thank GOD because we were terrified of being split up), WE WENT INTO THE STUDIO WHEW YAYAY OMFG WE WERE THERE!!! - but then oh no it happened so fast that she pointed @reylonly down to a single seat in the center and then the other 3 of us to seats towards the left side of the stage. They were all single seats, but thank GOSH they were all end seats of rows right next to each other. So Sarah was right in front of me and I could grab her shoulder (which I would do a lot in increasingly desperate excitement over the next 2 hours), and Catherine and I could reach across the aisle to cling to each other’s hands! @reylonly was on her own but in an incredible seat, and during commercial breaks we would lean forward to wave and blow kisses to each other and mime flailing or crying as one incredible sketch after another played out in front of us. I made sure to be friendly and talk to the people sitting next to me so they wouldn’t be too annoyed with me and Sarah always grabbing at each other, but LOL they probably thought I was at least a little insane. I mean, maybe for the moment alone when I saw a girl I’d made friends with in line but then lost track of in a seat not too far from me, and we started waving and dabbing at each other. Once we were seated there in the studio, all the anxiety gave way to surging excitement and I was practically bouncing in my seat, so overjoyed to be there and see my dear fandom friends there with me!

Michael Che warmed up the audience with some standup, the House band jammed, and Sarah and I momentarily got Extremely Excited when we saw them setting up the hell backdrop set for the cold open and thought at the time it was supposed to be Tattooine for a Star Wars skit, lolol. But then the actual show started, and with our Adam-eagle eyes Catherine reached out to whisper “there he is! In the blonde wig!” And, heart in my throat no matter how many times I see this man in person, I frantically squinted at all the people waiting just off to the side of the set until I saw that unmistakably Tol Broad back, and then he stepped onto the set and into the lighted camera’s view and I was cheering and clapping so hard for his first appearance that I couldn’t hear who he was supposed to be playing. xD I was just tapping Sarah’s shoulder in front of me, bouncing in my seat a little, and trying not to start levitating with the sheer force of my excitement and joy to be there.

OKAY from here I’ll break this up by skit! Anything that was different or missing from the Live show I put in bold font if you want to skip to that! Starting with...

Intro Monologue

WHAT A GOOD MONOLOGUE, ITS LIKE THEY JUST LET ADAM RUN WITH IT AND WRITE IT HIMSELF IT WAS SO HIM AND HILARIOUS AND WEIRD AND YET CHARMING IDEK I WILL NEVER COMPREHEND THE WONDER OF THIS MAN??

So when he dropped the bomb of “I’m a husband and a FATHER” I clapped Sarah’s shoulder SO HARD, then he made he joke “I’ve made it very clear to my son that he’s second in everything” and I could not bELIEVE the wonder of what I was hearing omfg. I heard the words “my son” come out of his mouth with my own ears WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED, SURE AS HELL NOT ME????

Then he went into the audience to demonstrate how “approachable” he is and was so awk/weird/hilarious I was just losing it, then took his time meandering around the stage and making weird faces into the camera and I was just LOSING IT. And AKSKSJA after that he wandered over to another camera that was lower and kind of hummed as he lifted his shirt and put it over the camera so we got a full on belly button view for 2 unbelievable glorious seconds!! He looked up at the monitors as he was doing it and went “oh you can’t see anything” so that’s probably why he sadly didn’t flash his belly in the Live show.

“Cheer” with Adam as one of the team coaches

I’m going by the skit order in Dress, and this one was first after the monologue. Best part for me was the accent reminiscent of Clyde Logan. :3 But tbh, of the 6 skits they did for the Live show, I kind of wish this one had been swapped for the one performed last in Dress that was sO Wild and would have made fandom absolutely lose its shit aksnksal more to come on that.

UNDERCOVER BOSS AKA RANDY THE INTERN

THE BEST GIFT WE COULD HAVE RECEIVED!! BLESS YOU SNL AND ADAM FOR GIVING US KYLO CONTENT TO BE HAPPY OVER AND LOVE WHOLE HEARTEDLY. T___T

Honestly, I cannot even properly describe my reaction when the Undercover Boss intro logo appeared on all the monitors oHMYLoRDDD. I nearly leapt out of my seat, like my heart nearly jumped clear out of my chest oh my fuck and I was legit holding onto Sarah so much I almost slid out of my seat - I just couldn’t believe it and I cheered SO LOUD. The entire audience erupted with this “HOLY SHIT” vibe outburst and I was SO happy to be there in that moment - knowing that our entire fandom was only hours away from this!! I honestly didn’t expect it at all - after they didn’t do one of these the second time Adam was on, I thought there was no chance. But IT HAPPENED AND IT WAS SO QUALITY HILARIOUS WE ARE SO BLESSED - THANK YOU TO RANDY’S LIL BEANIE AND VEST AND HIPSTER PANTS.

Pretty sure I like half curled up on myself laughing so hard my feet left the floor at OK BOOMER. And at the part with “will Rey take his hand?” I swear MY SOUL NEAR LEFT MY BODY I MEAN IS THIS THE REAL LIFE IS THIS JUST FANTASYYYY

..... Can someone come promise me we really didn’t just collectively hallucinate that??

SAG Awards Fashion Red Carpet

I’m not too disappointed this one was cut. Of all the amazing skits performed, I would have ranked this one lower. Adam and Kenan Thompson were fashion critics talking about celebs’ looks on the SAG red carpet. A minute in Adam says, “We should be paying more attention to the kids!” Kenan: *nervous laugh* “uh, should we??” Adam starts talking about/admiring the outfits for like Finn Wolfhard etc, with hilarious but bordering creepy descriptions like “masculine but not quite fully grown,” until Kenan is like “umm maybe we shouldn’t be talking about kids this much?”

They interview a girl who’s supposed to be Jojo Siwa and Adam’s like “you should know I think you’re beautiful. Kids need to hear more often that they’re beautiful.” Kenan panics, going “alRIGHT we’re gonna cut back to the studio now!” The skit ended with Adam: “I got a ticket to the Nickelodeon afterparty and I’m gonna swipe one of those kids in my pocket!”

“Slow” Digital Short

HONESTLY, this competes with Undercover Boss for my favorite skit of the night. I can’t even tell you - I had literal tears running down my face I was laughing SO fucking hard during this entire thing. From the first moment we heard Adam’s deep-ass voice I absolutely and entirely lost my shit oh my GOD. We’d been so pumped for Adam in some kind of rap sketch when we saw the photos of him and Kenan filming the day before, but it was SO FUCKING GOOD. I will never ever in all my days not bust out laughing at “Bring that ass here” and “In a 65 hour lane going 2” aksnskns I’m on the bus struggling to fight back laughter just thinking about it SEND HELP!!!

It’s just brilliant. The turtle next to his expensive loafers. His cheesy sunglasses. That shot of his glorious bare arms. His deep voice “Baby” when they’re at the door and “But I brought ice cream” oh my god I love it so much BLESS YOU SNL BLESS YOU. I never in all my days thought I’d get Adam rapping but it’s every single thing I never knew I needed.

Del Taco Commercial / “Aw Man I’m All Outta Cash!”

ADAM’S SLEAZY LOOKING LONG WIG LMAO. This one was a wild and funny time once you got into it and just let it go. Once Kyle, Beck, and Adam were all yelling the line and Adam went “You don’t want to kill yourself, you just want a taco, Jesus” everyone was ROLLING. I think the only difference (is this even worth color coding lol) was that after Kyle took his pants off Adam kept slapping his thigh during Dress bahaha.

“Hot Dad” Adam dealing with a clogged toilet at a teenaged girls’ sleepover

Adam and Kate McKinnon comedy together YES PLEASE. This one was all the same as far as I can remember, but I will say that a woop/cheer rose from the people sitting near the set for this one at the line about Adam being a “hot Dad.” Yep sounds about right.

(Halsey’s first song, Weekend Update)

Medieval Renaissance Fair

You can’t have Adam host SNL without giving him some ridiculous character skit ala Oil Baron Parnassus. I absolutely loved how intense and deep he was for this kind of nonsense xD We can thank this skit for giving us footage of Adam yelling “Whore!” and spitting, lmao. Also.... I’ll just say in that outfit and wig he looked even Extra Big in comparison to everyone around him.

Courtroom Trial / Sinbad on Cameo

I’m also okay with this one being cut, but I was biased to enjoy the hell out of it live because the set was right in front of where I was sitting and I had such a perfect view of him. <3

Adam was supposed to be the defendant in a case where a female coworker claims he harassed her by sending “threatening” videos. Adam goes up on the stand and the prosecutor asks “are you familiar with these videos?” Cut over to Kenan Thompson, who’s pretending to be Sinbad on the app Cameo, making videos for the woman that are like “Hey you better give Mark a chance! Otherwise he might come after you!” Adam responds with disbelief: “I have no idea who this Sinbad person is and frankly, your honor, this is pissing me off.” Kenan acts a few more videos which keep getting funnier because he keeps eating things or being in crowded public places while filming them. But in the final video he references Adam’s character’s name so it’s clear he was the one requesting the videos. Adam gets all sad on the stand: “It doesn’t matter. No one likes me anyway!” It ends with Kenan as Sinbad crashing into the courtroom in person.

This was more Kenan’s skit as he really was hilarious, but someone had to explain to me afterwards who Sinbad is and how the Cameo app works so I didn’t quite ~get it while watching. BUT more importantly - Adam looked great despite the weird brown wig he had on. During the second of Kenan’s videos when the cameras were on Kenan instead, Adam’s face definitely started quivering with suppressed laughter until he visibly locked it down like NO FOCUS ADAM. Most of my attention stayed fixed on the buttons of his shirt because hOOo boy were they straining! Without me even saying anything, Catherine reached across the aisle for me immediately afterwards and whispered, “That shirt did /not/ fit well.” OH YES I NOTICED >:33

PBS Science Show

Another one which was performed right directly in front of us!! I already knew this was going to be a good one because Adam went right over to the skeleton mannequin when he came on set and started playing with it, like making the arm and wrist wiggle around. The biggest dork cutie you’ll ever see.

He was standing right under me, which meant once he started handling the balloon I got mighty distracted watching his MASSIVE hands around that tiny-looking balloon. >:)) Then I cracked up so hard when he got exasperated and threw something back against the window. WE GOT TO SEE HIM SMASH SOMETHING IN PERSON YESSSS

Ketchup bottles

Oh my GOD EVERYTHING WAS AMAZING ABOUT THIS ONE FROM START TO FINISH. The best part though might have been the prep beforehand. Someone carried the giant Ketchup and hot sauce bottles onto the set before the actors came on and we were like wtf? (For a minute I was triggered remembering Kanye coming on in his Perrier bottle during the 2018 show) But THEN Adam and Cecily Strong came on in big red shirts and people started lifting the giant plastic bottles over them and LOL we realized where this was going. They definitely struggled for a minute getting Adam’s bottle up over his head because of his height xD People in the audience were already laughing just watching this costume set up, and once Adam got the bottle on a WOOT cheer rose which I later learned was none other than @reylonly aka my hero. It was followed by someone yelling “THATS HOT”, which akndosjan made Adam laugh and raise his arms with a hilarious little shimmy in the bottle. He really seemed to be enjoying himself during the whole show, but during this ridiculous and incredibly hilarious skit especially so.

Game Night / Movie Quote Competition

OKAY this is the skit it’s a real tragedy didn’t make it on air! There were lines in this I couldn’t beLiEvE my ears were hearing, and if we ever get a recording I’m pretty sure the fandom would basically implode.

Three couples are sitting around a living room having a game night. Adam is sitting with Kate McKinnon with his arm around her. After they finish playing Settlers of Catan, Heidi Gardner suggests they play a movie quote game where one of them says a line from a movie and the rest have to guess the movie. She is clearly very into it, and the others reluctantly agree. It quickly becomes clear that Adam is just as good at the game as she is, and they immediately start becoming competitive. They reach the point where they quote three lines from Captain Phillips in a row, trying to trick each other. As the game gets more heated, they exchange aggressive flirty banter such as:

Heidi: You really know your movie quotes, huh? Adam: Yeah I do. Heidi: And with some BDE over there. Adam: Yeah, I got that too.

AND !!!!!!!!!!

Heidi: You’re quite the movie flick daddy. Adam: I’m the world’s biggest flick daddy.

!!!!!!!!! HE CALLED HIMSELF A DADDY HELP CALL 911 EMERGENCY !!!!!!!!!!

The game keeps escalating until Kate tries to calm Adam down and he brushes her off. Everyone else tries to tell Heidi to relax, and she responds “What?! I’m supposed to lie back and let (Kate’s character’s name)’s hot husband rail me??”

I WAS FLOATING ON THE CEILING BY THIS POINT, I literally couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing alsdfjsldafjlsdkfj!

It gets to the point where they’re both standing, shouting completely vague snippets of lines at each other while the other continues to guess correctly. Until finally Adam exclaims, “I got a good one!” He grabs her and fULL ON kisses her.

(Pictures from The Adam Driver Files twitter.)

Immediately afterwards she goes, “I know! That was the kiss from (Movie X - I can’t remember the exact title).” Adam: “HOW DID YOU KNOW?!” Heidi: “From how you moved your tongue!”

I’m still reeling from this one. Adam calling himself a daddy, talk of “getting railed” by him, and intense kissing?! Oh my lORDDDD. I’m still trying to keep it playing on a loop in my ears. I’m not sure if we as a fandom could collectively survive a full video of this, but GOD I hope we get the chance to test ourselves. RELEASE THE UNAIRED VIDEO, YOU NBC COWARDS!!!

FLICK DADDY INDEED

...Aaaaaaand that was a wrap! After 10 skits and nearly 2.5 hours, it literally felt like I had run a marathon at a full sprint. I was just trying to process everything I’d just witnessed, while trying to focus on committing every single thing to memory. I just couldn’t believe the range of amazing and hilarious things I’d just seen Adam doing: Play a talking ketchup bottle, call himself a daddy, awkwardly talk about feminine products clogging his toilet, yell “WHORE” then spit and swing a medieval mace around, rap hilariously, and yell about umami?? It was all almost TOO MUCH.

For full-circle and emotional fulfillment reasons, I wore my Save Ben Solo shirt to the show just like I did at the 2018 show. I had debated beforehand whether it would be too bittersweet to wear it after TROS, but now I’m so glad I did. All these hilarious and zany skits were just what we all needed to continue the cycle of fandom excitement and positivity despite the last month. I’m so incredibly grateful to SNL for such great material for Adam to work with and us to laugh at, and for giving us the perfect reminder that there’s still so much to whole-heartedly appreciate and love. Most of all, Adam himself. <3

THANK YOU SNL AND ADAM FOR ANOTHER LIFE-HIGHLIGHT WEEKEND! <3

#Adam Driver #Saturday Night Live #SNL #driverdaily

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reysexualkylo · 4 years

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1/? Rey lives with her alcoholic parents who can’t seem to decide if they do or don’t care what she does with her life. The best thing in her life is her boyfriend Ben, who’s a successful businessman. How she, a college student making minimum wage, managed to get him she has no idea, but they make each other feel whole. She knows he wants her to move in with him, but she can’t let go of her parents for reasons she can’t even figure out herself. One day, Rey isn’t feeling well. She decides to

2/? try a pregnancy test and it’s positive. She’s carrying her and Bens baby. When her parents find out, they throw her out. That’s when Rey finally realizes that they don’t care about her. Ben is out of town on a business trip so she has nowhere else to go but her friends Finn & Rose’s place. She calls Ben. Ben says “Hey sweetheart. I’ve only got a minute before I have to...” He stops when he hears what sounds like Rey sobbing. “Rey? What’s wrong?” Rey responds “My parents. They kicked me out.”

3/? Ben is shocked. He knew they were awful but this? “What?! What happened?!” Rey stutters and sniffles “I... I’m pregnant Ben! They found the test I took and threw me out immediately!” Ben cant believe it. He has so many conflicting emotions at the moment. “... okay. Rey. Everything’s gonna be ok. Where are you now?” Rey says “I’m at Rose and Finns.” Ben replies “Ok. Ok good. I’ll be back as soon as I can sweetheart. I promise. I’ll get on the next flight back.” Rey sniffles again and says ok

4/? and asks “So um... how... what do you...” She can’t even finish. Ben says “Rey, we’ll talk more later. You should get some rest. I’ll be back as soon as possible.” Rey replies “Ok. I’ll see you soon.” Ben tells her he loves her and hangs up. He sits down so he can collect his thoughts. Rey, the love of his life, is pregnant with his child. On top of the conflicting feelings of fear and joy about the baby, he also has a lot of anger over what her parents did. How could anyone do that? His

5/? parents sent him away when he was young, but at least they sent him to his uncle to try and work out his anger issues. That in turn makes him realize that they did it because they were worried about him. They were scared for him, not of him. Yet he resented them for it. Before buying a ticket home, he calls them. He doesn’t want his child to not have a relationship with their grandparents. They don’t pick up so he leaves a message. “Hey Mom. Hey Dad. Yeah. It’s me. I know it’s been a while

6/? but I wanted... needed to talk to you. Something big just happened and um, just call me back. Please. Bye.” Ben heads to the airport immediately. Ben later arrives at Rose & Finns. They tell her she’s asleep in the guest room. He walks quietly into the guest room. She looks exhausted and he can tell she’s been crying. He kisses her forehead and says “Rey. Wake up. I’m here.” Her eyes flutter open and she immediately wraps her arms around his neck. She starts sobbing into his shirt. He starts

7/? stroking her hair. “Shh. It’s ok. I’m here. I’m here. I’ll always be here for you.” Rey says “Take me home.” After thanking Rose and Finn for looking after her, he takes her back to his condo. He hugs her tight again. “I hate that this is how you’re moving in with me. I wanted you to choose it when you felt ready. Not like...” he is on the brink of tears. Rey replies “Maybe it’s for the best it’s like this. If it wasn’t, I’d still be with people who never loved me.” He kisses her softly and

8/? says “Hey. Look at the bright side. You’re pregnant. I know you’re scared and I am too, but this is still the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Well, next to when you came into my life.” She chuckles. He kisses her, picks her up and takes her to bed to make love to her. After theyre done, they lay in bed just cuddling & kissing softly. Rey strokes his cheek & he says “I dont deserve you.” Rey says “Yes you do. What you did before doesn’t matter. Youre better now. If anything, you

9/? deserved better.” He sighs. “I called my parents. They didn’t pick up but, hopefully they’ll call back. It’s about time I made things right. For my sake & you twos. No child should have a life without grandparents. I...” He’s interrupted by his phone ringing. It’s his parents calling back. “Guess here’s your chance.” He answers & they start talking things out, often times bringing him to tears & Rey their to comfort him. Their baby girl is born just in time for Christmas, at which point

10/? everything is great. Ben has patched things up with his parents & uncle, & Rey feels she’s finally found a true family, people who care about her and want to be there for her, but most importantly, she has Ben, a gentle, understanding & tall lover & she knows will be a loving father to Baby Hanna. Rey feels whole. Leia says “You are part of our family now Rey. I can’t thank you enough for healing my sons heart & giving me a grandchild.” Rey says “Thank you for letting me join your family.”

11/11 Christmas morning, Rey has one last gift to open among the many she received from Ben & his family. The last one is from Ben. It’s a ring. Before Ben can say anything, she jumps into his arms whispering “Yes. Yes!” They get married on New Years Eve. Sorry this took so long. I got held up by some things & I had some trouble figuring out a few parts. But anyway, I hope my fluffy ramblings make you feel better. It was almost therapeutic to write this out. Merry Christmas.

***

This is perfect and so fluffy! It’s just what I needed. Thank you so much ❤️

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dadsolo · 4 years

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Maybe it’s because I had almost zero expectations for it bc of all the reviews, but you know what???? I really liked TROS

Ok I gotta talk about it real quick, so spoilers under the cut

*SPOILERS*

this is a very tired rambling, so I apologize

Ok things I liked

I am going to paint a mural of that trio hug on my wall, and on the side of my house even though I just rent the basement suite and I can’t do that, I’m going to get it framed, I’m going to get it on a shirt, I’m gonna

The fact that the trio interacted and were great together (and should have been since the beginning)

trio hand holding

FINN FORCE SENSITIVITY BABEEEEEY

also just Finn in general, I love him sfm

and Poe <333

Oh my god Rey’s got her own story and it focused on her (I will get to other stuff.... in the not so good things) and I wanted to give her a hug so bad

I know there’s really not a lot they could do with Leia, but you could really feel her there throughout the entire thing and I loved how much Rey looks up to her, and how much she loves her three children Rey Poe and Finn (abouta change my url to momleia)

That Finn and Jannah scene where they discussed what happened to them

Palpatine was really creepy, although some stuff didn’t really land

Lando was great

so was Chewie

3PO WAS SO GOOD

HAN

THAT’S MY DAD

luke giving rey a pep talk for 45 seconds was, imo, better than almost every scene they had in tlj

the rey flip was pure sex

I’M ALL JEDI or whatever she said

rey’s bicep when she put the lightsaber behind her during the final fight

Finn being a general Poe being a general

I don’t know if it was intended, but I’m like pretty sure Poe and Finn are in love and Rey and Finn too, so like

ok but also rey and zorii............................. that one scene got me

and zorii

and jannah

rey piloting luke’s x wing

BYE KYLE LOL

Ok stuff I didn’t like

not enough rose, jannah, and zorii tbh (especially rose and jannah)

man people weren’t kidding when they said this movie was like a 3 in one, like I understand when people say it was messy

also it was so quick holy shit lol (although I liked that it didn’t feel 2 and a half hours)

could have used some expanded character arcs

and on the topic of quick, kyle ron’s whole situation was breakneck and did not work for me at all, I don’t really think that “”””redemption”””” was... anything, really

when I read that there was gonna be a rey/lo kiss in this I was not happy- I don’t talk about it much, but I’m pretty against rey/lo. while i still loathe the fact that it happened (because rey deserves better than a guy who manipulated her and called her nothing and copious amounts of other bullshit), I think in a broader context of the movie, it was nonsensical and pretty tacked on, so it’s kind of hard for me to take it seriously in that respect, especially since he dies and then Rey’s like “....oh ok” and then she just leaves lol (and lets not act like any rey/lo scene was for the benefit of any other character than kyle)

really any romantic rey/lo mentions were a no from me

palpatine’s plan was absolutely bonkers (also who did sheev procreate with, or is he like a plant and asexually reproduced or something)

wished they actually did something with the knights of ren

“““““‘gay representation”““““““““, come on guys wth was that

Middle Stuff

ever since TFA, when I decided that the fictional character of Rey was going to be the love of my life, I actually haven’t really cared what her last name is, and I do think the whole palpatine thing was incredibly hamfisted, I do like that she decided to go with skywalker because of the influence leia and luke had so that works for me, and bc with tlj, they kind of set up that she probably wasn’t biologically a skywalker (I’m sure absolutely no one at all will hold strong opinions of this)

Whole wayfinder thing/dagger, was just... there

thought the lightsaber fights were cool, but nothing spectacular

I liked the ending, but it was way too rushed

But I think for me, the best thing, is that I felt really happy when I walked out.

Anyway I need to see that hug scene again in 4k

#tros #tros spoilers #and with that #I have a couple weeks off between semesters and I really don't feel like watching the sw fandom rip themselves apart over this #so I'm just gonna make myself even more scarce on here #happy holidays y'all

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lightandwinged · 4 years

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Alright, it’s review time, and it’s going to be spoilery and rambly because I’m still parsing my thoughts on everything SO.

Sans spoilers: a solid and fitting conclusion, if a bit faster paced than I would’ve liked, but it adhered to the overarching themes of the Skywalker saga probably better than anything in the new trilogy has before, and I don’t know how, considering everything (namely that Space Mom is gone), they could have or would have done things differently. Not my absolute favorite (that will forever be RotJ), but still very good.

Spoilers below, be ye warned.

I found it utterly hilarious that the plot started with Kyle Ron finding the Macguffin and chillin out with Papa Palpatine while the Good Guys had to go on this entire huge quest to FIND the Macguffin to begin with, and the only reason he didn’t just fuck off and finish some dastardly plan while they were scurrying about and trying to find the Pyramid Of Doom was because he’s got a lot to work out in his feelings about Rey. Like shit, no wonder Papa Palpatine decided to just stick with his own bloodline for galactic domination, Skywalkers are useless.

(except Leia, who is awesome)

The inclusion of Carrie Fisher in this film was VERY well done, but it also hurt a lot because you could tell that her scenes were cobbled together from old material and not made of anything new. It was good and necessary, but it also just hurt, like a constant reminder that she’s gone and nobody could replace her ever. And I’ll get more to that in a minute.

The Macguffin questing honestly felt a lot like the first half of RotJ, where we have to go rescue Han right quick because Harrison Ford was pretty sure he didn’t want to Star Wars anymore, so here’s a sidequest for half the movie, with the only difference here being that the questline had to do with the actual Plot. I’ve been following the Star Wars leaks subreddit for a while (don’t read the comments, it’s a wretched hive of scum and villainy and bitterness), and I know that at one point, it was supposed to be this race between Team Dark Side and Team Light Side to get the Pyramid of Destiny and then they’d find out that oh shit, Sheev’s here, but that was scrapped... and I kind of wish it hadn’t been? It would’ve made the first half of frolicking through this planet... no this planet... no, no, it’s on this planet... feel a lot less distracting.

The dynamic between Finn, Poe, and Rey was fantastic, because those three actors just have amazing chemistry on so many levels. They immediately fell into the dynamic of “we’re a polyamorous triad who’ve been living together for a while, and we really love each other, but we’re also a LITTLE BIT STRESSED RIGHT NOW OK” and that’s fair. I was glad to see all of it, and I just wish that we’d had more of it in both TFA and TLJ. It reminded me a LOT of how the best parts of the OT were always when Luke, Han, and Leia were together.

And now I’m going to take a sulk break to think about what we could’ve had with that amazing dynamic.

I’m back.

The new characters were some of the weaker parts of the film, I felt, save for Lando (because Billy Deeeeeeee). Dominic Monaghan, whom I love, could’ve had his role taken entirely by Rose, or Billie Lourde, and nobody would’ve noticed. And I don’t mind the addition of extra women to the cast, but Zorii and Jannah felt like they were just there to be like “Poe fucks women! Finn might too!” And... yanno, cool? But the OT3 stands.

And then General Pryde, aptly named, should’ve been a bigger part in all three films because it was like... here’s this yahoo out of nowhere who’s apparently a really big Sheev fan and just... like... what? I mean, I’m a huge Sheev fan, too, but I wish he’d been more of a Piett, where we could’ve seen him worming his way up the ranks, which would’ve made his downfall more satisfying. Instead, it was just kind of like... eh? Cool, I guess? With Piett, you felt like “yeah, we’ve seen this guy fucking things up for our heroes for two entire movies now, and here he is, getting destroyed because of his pride, hahaha!” but with Pryde, it was like “wait, who are you? Oh you’re dead now? Okay, cool, I guess?”

And in conjunction with THAT, Hux was just wasted in this film. I fully accept the idea that he rose through the ranks because of nepotism or something, and I also fully accept that he’s an absolutely useless twink who can’t do anything without having Phasma top him weekly (she used to top both him and Ren, which is why they’re such disasters in this movie), but man, couldn’t we have like... taken him with us? Imagine the comedy potential as he’s brought back as a prisoner and Domhnall Gleeson gets even more screen time with Oscar Isaac. I don’t mind that he died a worthless death because he was basically a useless wretch, but I do feel like if the movie had given itself more breathing room, he could’ve been a lot of fun.

RELATED, the pacing. So in the beginning of the movie, the idea of a light skip (basically, just sort of using the hyperdrive without planning or anything) is brought up, and everyone involved in this action bounces from world to world to world in rapid fire fashion to get rid of a bunch of TIE fighters following them, and that’s roughly the pace of this film. There are a few moments of quiet and contemplation, but they’re so rare that they seem to last a lot longer than they actually do, and I think it’s mostly because this movie really feels like a Lord of the Rings style epic packed into a MCU time frame. And I’m not complaining about the time, because by the time the credits rolled, I had to pee so fucking badly, but I feel like also if we’d trimmed out a couple of things (like maybe we can get rid of Kijimi, I think it is? The snow planet? or just merge Kijimi and Pasaana?), we’d have had more time to breathe and that would’ve helped the pacing a lot.

The slow moments in the film belonged almost exclusively to Rey and Kyle Ron, and honestly, Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver both deserve some sort of award recognition for their acting, the latter particularly. Without going into wild details about the plot, Kyle Ron does change his mind and go back to being Ben Solo, and god bless you so much Adam Driver because the change is instantaneous and delightful. If we’d seen significantly more Ben Solo than Kyle Ron, I’d totally be on board with the r.3y.10.z because this child omg. As it stands, the kiiiiissssss made me do like

in real life. It felt... mm, unearned, we’ll say. Maybe as a moment of “oh fuck that was intense and now we’re both alive” I could’ve bought it, but it wasn’t that, it was supposed to be this “my looooove” moment and just... sorry, but no.

BUT that said, while I think his death was the only way this series could’ve ended for him because a redemption arc would’ve required a LOT more time and energy, and that just... wasn’t going to happen. The time to have him make the turn if we were going to see a redemption arc was during TLJ, and since he didn’t make that change, we don’t get a Zuko arc. And that’s FINE because that’s a lot of work for a three movie series. And I don’t want a TV series devoted to Ben Solo learning to not be a dick to people. That’s exhausting.

But I do wish we’d gotten more time with him. The brief time we had, the bit of Han Solo snark that came out (”ow”), that was all delightful and made me understand what people see in the character (who I hate because he’s a great character to hate).

(omg while I was writing this, someone was saying that they were in a theater with someone talking about how the movie should’ve ended with Kyle Ron giving Rey a Force baby, and Y’ALL THERE IS NOT ENOUGH NOPE IN THE WORLD)

Anyway, bullets now, for the times I cried:

Literally everything with Leia, but especially that her last word was “Ben” and her using every last bit of her energy to save her son because I GET THAT FEEL, and honestly, the only reason she wasn’t there raining death and destruction on Sheev by herself for grooming her baby was because Carrie Fisher died. But anyway, from the moment she dropped her headset on, I was a blubbering mess.

And then Han, just a memory, but looking more at peace than he ever has. He convinces his son to come home, and Ben now says, “Dad?” and Han just says, “I know,” and FUFUUFUFALSKJDLAKSJDF: SOBBING

And then CHEWIE reacting to Leia’s death just... UGH. I am destroyed utterly, still.

Luke finally managing to Force lift the X-Wing out of the water made me cry as well, weirdly enough.

And then whatever emotion I felt when Rey heard all the Jedi, and it was LITERALLY EVERYONE WHO HAS PLAYED A JEDI EVER COMING IN AND SAYING A LINE like not just the familiar ones but the ones you wouldn’t know unless you’d watched all the TV series and extra material... it was so much more than tears. I couldn’t cry because it wouldn’t have been enough to encompass everything that made me feel. Very sincerely well done.

All-in-all, yeah, it was really good. I don’t get what everyone is so fussed over with it... it ties up the themes of the entire nine-movie arc pretty neatly and does basically the best it can with what it has.

But a bigger point in its favor, for me, was seeing Sam’s reaction to it: jumping up and down in his seat, gasping, grabbing my hand, whispering, “Mommy, they’re going to be okay, right?” and then cheering at the end. Star Wars, as a thing, isn’t for just one person or one group of people, but I consider how people who were kids when the PT came out say without a hint of irony that it’s not that bad, because to them, that’s what Star Wars is and always has been. The joy of it isn’t just the OT but those three movies that were “meh” to those of us who cut our teeth on the OT only. And in a similar vein, the ST is full of that joy for kids now. Like holy moley, Sam and his best friend geeking out over seeing each other in Star Wars costumes at Halloween was just worth everything.

So in the end, like I concluded at the end of TLJ, the message here is that it’s for them. And also that there’s always hope, that ultimately, even when it seems the odds are against light, there’s more of us than there are of them.

#star wars #the rise of skywalker #the rise of skywalker spoilers #I dehydrated myself crying at this movie

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pluwuto · 5 years

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i dunno if my ramblings end up in the actual tag or anything but im gonna talk about my farmer under readmore and it’s a big disorganized ramble so god, ignore if you want (but also i love talking about farmer ocs so hit me up if you wanna yell about your stuff!)

ok so first off: i didn’t think i was gonna get this into sdv, and my sister was over my shoulder, so to make her leave i named my farmer UwU so the townsfolk are just always saying uwu now and thats a big regret

also, i reblogged something before abt her favorite thing being trash bc i wasn’t taking the thing seriously so i really just thought that the stardrop just tasted like complete garbage

ANYWAY

her actual name is reyna lipki, she’s from another smaller town in stardew valley. she grew up like halfway across the valley tho so she never really met anyone from pelican town when she was younger, even when she visited her grandpa. she goes by rey a lot!

her mom and dad are divorced. her dad’s in zuzu city, while her mom is still in her hometown. her mom runs the local museum while her dad is a hair stylist. her parents still can be alright around each other, and they divorced on alright terms. sometimes they meet over the feast of the winter star

rey worked as a cultural advisor of some sort for joja before eventually quitting and moving to pelican town because she realized that she doesn’t want to be working for a corporation for the rest of her life, and also just in general she doesn’t like joja that much due to various work policies and such

now see, i’m a huge fucking dumbass and instead of being like “oh rey is cute with this available bachelor/ette!” you know what i did??? i made another character because im stupit. her name’s aelin, aka ale, and she’s rey’s best friend, because im a sucker for the childhood friends->lovers trope. ale traveled around a lot with her younger brother while rey was in college/working with joja, but she always made sure to send her letters, trinkets, and drop in to check with her from time to time. ale actually suggested she come travelling with them at first which made rey remember the letter from her grandpa

it’s very awkward when a solid amount of ppl are crushing on u but u just wanna kiss ur best friend that you see maybe 5 times a year. more on that whole mess at 5

anyway i’ll probly scream more about aelin and burne (her little brother) in a different post, and same with aelin and rey’s relationship kasjkfsksjekkskkskjsf

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv farmer #stardew valley farmer #ocs #:)

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bakedpieceofchicken · 5 years

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5am long personal vent

dont interact with this

note: this post mentions endeavor a lot.

context (very important!): I pretty much binge-read an entire tumblr user’s meta posts and I found them interesting and very informative.

I also read through their salt tag and now I’m compelled to gather my thoughts together considering the literal title I’ve held for months now is “Hawks is a lov member already”. I’m extremely socially awkward, even on this online platform, so I’m not going to mention the aforementioned tumblr user’s name because I’m too anxiety-ridden to try to contact them. This is in no way shape or form an attack on the person’s opinions nor their character. It’s me... rambling about my thoughts about their opinions at 4 am.

Is it defending myself? Well, not really, because I don’t feel personally attacked. Just because we have a difference of opinion doesn’t mean we have to resort to attacking each other. I found their opinions thought-provoking and wanted to pick my own brain... I picked this time purposely so nobody would see this post :eyes: so like uhm yeah

note 2: “you” refers to unnamed tumblr user. sorry about weird point of view...

anyways let’s get into the meat

villain hawks

yay or... nay...?

Well, in fanon it would be such a fun idea to play around with. Personally I think there’s potential for League of Villain interactions with Hawks. I would LOVE to see Hawks interacting with the other pro heroes, but the only pro-to-pro interaction we get with Hawks is between Hawks and Endeavor. Because the atmosphere between the pro-heroes feels... disconnected.

Now, hear me out.

Let’s contrast it with the idealized version of hero society provided in future fics. Or hell, comparing the top ten pro heroes to Class 1-A itself. We want to think all the heroes are friendly with each other and have some sort of camaraderie with each other

But Horikoshi doesn’t present it like that.

The closest thing to that we get is Endeavor and Hawks. Other than that, the atmosphere between hawks and the other heroes seem more strained or tense (the whole miruko hawks thing is fanon). And even then, it’s... well... Endeavor and Hawks don’t truly know each other. Hawks only knows the public perception and image of Endeavor, which is the only thing he’s been given while Endeavor doesn’t truly knows Hawks either. I’m not saying the interactions are fake, but... would Hawks be acting the way he was if he knew about Endeavor’s past?

No. I don’t have any predictor to how differently Hawks would act, but I definitely sense there’d be a lot of disappointment and loss of respect for the man he was rooting for. To what extent? Would Hawks just be in complete disbelief? Or would he react with immediate anger? There are parallels to Hawks and Todoroki Rei--both were picked from the crowd and had their lives controlled because of their “value” determined by Endeavor/The Hero Commission respectively.

But honestly from an objective standpoint, I have nothing to go off of other than the fact that Hawks deeply respects and idolizes Endeavor the most out of anyone in the manga we’ve seen and the fallout of that would be of an equally shattering magnitude...

Ahh i went off on a tangent. the point is... do we really know Hawks? Does Hawks ever get a chance to just.. be himself? Maybe we see a bit of that shine when he’s alone with Endeavor, but as we saw clearly in chapter 186 he puts on a care-free facade for his fans. But in reality... he’s always working because he’s one of the hero commission’s greatest assets.

and... here’s where our opinions clash. I truly, in the depths of my heart, believe that Hawks is building a reality where heroes have more free time comes from a more selfish desire for himself. Don’t get me wrong--I don’t want to disservice what Hawks has done for society. But also it feels like he’s the type who overworks himself because he feels moral obligation to society when... technically he doesn’t owe anything to society.

Yes, in superhero shows and whatnot, it’s usually a positive trait that “hey this person’s been born with an amazing power and they’ve chosen to use it for the greater good! Look what they’re sacrificing!!!” But let’s say theoretically that person decides “hey i don’t want to be a hero i just want to be a writer!” Are they morally wrong for deciding not to be a hero even though they would theoretically be good at it? Even though it’s not something they want for themselves?

Because I don’t think Hawks wants to be a hero. But he also doesn’t want people to die. He’s tied himself with these moral obligations to the point where he can’t leave now because he feels it would be selfish of him to. And that is speculation, but Horikoshi isn’t exactly spelling it out for us! So, that’s how I interpret Hawks’ character. Yes, he is a true hero in that he wants to save as many people as he can, even at the cost of his pride his dignity his fucking freedom...

but also, he never wished for that. he never asked to be one who has to deal with all of this. But now that he is, what choice does he have?

So, yes, we agree on that. But I also feel that his personal desire plays as big of a part. Because we, as humans, naturally want things for ourselves. Our personal desire for ourselves shouldn’t be downplayed at all! That’s why I believe his inner thoughts are worded “more free time” rather than “make society more safe”. Because he has his priorities! He wants the best of both worlds-- it’s a form of negotiation. He can still play the hero and less lives would be taken but he can also having some breathing room for himself like he’s always wanted.

To free himself just a little bit from the stressful life of being a hero.

There is nothing wrong with being motivated by personal desires. Hawks is one of the most grounded heroes we’ve seen--I think he’s cynical enough that he’s self aware of this selfish desire for a freer life. And it’s selfish to him only because he knows that it would never happen without the expense of a few lives-- lives that he knew he would never forgive himself for letting slip.

I think it’s a toxic mindset.

Because as heroic as placing others above yourself... that attitude is completely unhealthy and I don’t think it should be celebrated. What I want to see from Hawks’ natural progression as a character is recognizing that it’s okay to prioritize yourself. Hell, Midoriya learned this during the summer training arc and failed to retain that lesson during the Overhaul arc! THESE HEROES DON’T TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES!!! (ok i get midoriya’s trying).

And if it’s selfish to desire more free time for yourself off from work, is it really that wrong of someone to do so? To want more control over your life? To want to do things you want to do rather than what others want you to do?

What does this have to do with villain Hawks? Well, I think a large desire for villain hawks is because it shows the departure of that mindset! Hawks doesn’t need to be confined to his hero persona anymore, he can finally do things he wants to do and be the free bird he’s always wanted to be.

But him becoming a complete villain is... far-fetched. This myself I recognize. I’ve only written villain!hawks once and that was because he snapped after the hero commission executed shigaraki and dabi as a show of power rather than going through the effort of trying to re-integrate the men back into hero society. I don’t want to go too deep because this isn’t the point I’m trying to make, but Hawks realizes how power-obsessed society is to the point where he doubts the legitimacy of the hero commission itself and what they do for society and its people.

But, again, that’s not going to ever happen in canon so I won’t bring it up another time. The point I was trying to make is yeah, you’re right that Hawks would never become a villain. He wouldn’t become a murderer- if he does, he definitely needs more incentive than what we can go off from canon.

And ohhh boy here we go, reaching the erm elephant in the room.

(These are the points made in the salt tag btw)

Is Villain!Hawks just an excuse to write hotwings? And what is the plausibility of Hawks turning to villainy? Would Endeavor being exposed as a child abuser be the trigger if Hawks were to turn villain at some point in the story?

Eh...

I don’t know if I even want to go into the whole “this is just an excuse to make hawks and dabi evil boyfriends” because I’ve never used villain!hawks as justification for that personally. And I’m actually not as attached to hotwings as I am to something like shigahawks... I don��t have any points to counteract this other than my desire to see Hawks interact with the entire league. Because it would be fun to see him interact in an environment he’s not wholly familiar with. With Endeavor or the other heroes or even the hero commission, he has some semblance of control or understanding so he thinks/acts like he knows what’s going on.

Meanwhile, the League is a huge mess and they don’t have their shit together and wouldn’t it be funny to see Hawks as a part of their crew suffering with them!!! Well, that’s bias. My bias. For fanon. And for the jokes. So sad :(

So... I don’t just want to see more Dabi and Hawks interaction. I want to see more Hawks and League interaction. or just more hawks and anyone interactions overall. maybe thats all i crave

Actually going through the points one by one, let’s talk plausibility.

I already talked about villain!hawks being a... departure from Hawks’ faults in his own character. But it is pretty extreme, I’ll admit. If Hawks were ever to join the League of Villains, he’d probably never use killing as first resort. As we’ve seen in chapter 220, it’s not like the League targets only heroes... but i get the salt tag was made like 5 months ago so it’s not like new information hasn’t been released at the time of posting.

Reminds me of domestichobgoblins’ shigadabihawks fic where shigaraki even acknowledges “Whatever bullshit you’ve been telling Dabi, you aren’t a killer either, are you? So what, exactly, am I supposed to do with you?” And you know? The both are you are right. Hawks isn’t a killer and he wouldn’t become a killer willingly... unless he was pushed by some other greater force but I’m not here to address any of that. He could still provide support to the league in other ways, arguably, or just joining the league could be some kind of message to the heroes or supporters of hero society.

You are right to a degree. Hawks’ sole motivator to become a villain wouldn’t be because “OH ENDEAVOR IS AN ABUSER GUESS I GOTTA TURN EVIL NOW”.

Okay pushing past that, so why would Hawks be motivated to become a villain? In canon? I’ve already warped a lot of this post with my own fanon but I’m trying to keep within the realm of canon for this point specifically since you could take a second to push Hawks over the edge in fanon and be done with it. But why would Horikoshi specificially do it?

The fact is hero society sucks. A lot. And I think Hawks recognizes that fact being the most “grounded” and cynical of the bunch. His views and visions of hero society aren’t warped by fantasies and such (which is probably why he doesn’t like All Might...) so he understands what’s happening around him. He understands the mechanisms of hero society and how “valuable” quirks are viewed as in their capitalist society.

But also, he doesn’t have that much of an option other than trying to lessen the burden placed upon him. Because he’s a single man, and even with his influence, he can’t change society. He’s powerless to do so, even considering who he is. He’s seen as a role model to those in society, but it’s because of his ranking that ironically fuels why people even look up to him: denouncing that would be kind of silly considering it’s the reason why people would listen in the first place.

And this is the point where I say... Shigaraki had a point. Hero society is flawed. It shouldn’t be so reliant on one person to carry it all.

But also hero society itself is bullshit. The ranking system? Horrible. The fact that the hero commission views them as tools for their own disposal? Horrible. The mere fact they basically bribe Hawks into becoming a hero? Like? “Hey kid you’re the best at being a hero so that’s what you should do. we’re only going to give you financial support if you become a hero so you might as well” like what is Hawks supposed to do in that sort of situation? Of course he’s going to succumb to the pressure.

I don’t believe in this whole “sacrifice for the greater good” bullshit. If Hawks wants to be a hero, that’s a whole another story, but if Hawks doesn’t, then he shouldn’t have been forced into that role. It’s about agency--it’s about letting him decide for himself if it’s what he wants to do. And it’s... a gray area for morality. “It’d be selfish for him to let people die!” Who is in the right to say whether or not he should use his “powers” for others’ sake? Me? You? The Hero commission?

So if Horikoshi goes down the path of “hey hero society is extremely bad and needs to change” and Hawks recognizes the League as a proponent for that change, then with a lot of development, it’s plausible in the future. I understand that Hawks, as of what we currently see, is too upheld by his own morals to ever even think about crossing that line, but people change. Hell, you recognized how the High End arc changed Endeavor and made miles of metas about it.

So, is it really far-fetched to say villain!Hawks is just a dream?

Maybe I’m a fool or an optimist, but I’d love to see Horikoshi take that path. Not because I’m horny for evil boyfriends, but it’d be a nice change of pace and we’d get to see a complete contrast of Hawks’ experiences. And it wouldn’t be easy-it’d had to be done right. Just like Endeavor’s redemption arc--if Horikoshi is still planning it. (Let’s be honest: High End Arc was not a formal redemption. I think it was Horikoshi letting the readers know “there might be something worth saving in Endeavor!” but i digress because i don’t care enough about endeavor (his character and redemption has 0 appeal to me and thats FINE. YOU DO YOU AND I DO ME, I only talk about him when it’s essential to talk about the influence he has on characters I DO care about).

As to why people like to characterize the moment Hawks decides to quit being a villain being attributed to Hawks learning Endeavor is an abuser...

The fallout, as mentioned earlier, could vary. A lot. Hawks really looked up to Endeavor when he was young. Again, shattering to find out something so nasty about the one you idolized.

To know that the one Hawks looked up used his wife just like how the hero commission used Hawks. Like an object or tool at their disposal.

Would he be vengeful or spiteful towards Endeavor personally? To others, probably yes. To me? I’m kind of in the “eh” skeptical ballpark so I guess we somewhat agree on that. To me, Endeavor being exposed as an abuser would crush that small slither of childish hope that hero society represents something bigger than themselves. Did Hawks ever get to have the childhood Deku had where he was still cheering on the heroes from behind the screen, or did it get crushed just as quickly when he realized how hero society truly works?

Because hero society isn’t bigger than themselves. It shouldn’t be idolized so heavily as it is presented in BNHA.

At least, not in its current state. And people who don’t fit in that group or agree with its ideals suffer the consequences. Like Shigaraki. Like Twice and Spinner. Like Gentle.

These are all villains that are products of society that promised to stamp out villains. And when Hawks realizes that it’s just a never ending cycle where the people left in between the cracks are the ones who perpetuate the system itself...

Like you said, Hawks sees the bigger picture. And his goal is to lessen the burden of the workload for heroes. There will never be a shortage of everyday criminals using their quirks for petty crimes but what about the bigger picture organizations? How are they going to be stopped? What about examining the root core of the problem and going from there? No more short-term solutions to problems... What can Hawks, mighty number two hero, do even at the expense of himself? Hmm...

I don’t know, just some food for thought. Something I’ve seen done for villain!hawks is the hero commission throwing Hawks under the bus for some reason and Hawks either a) joins the league to gleam more information but finds himself willing to stay or b) has nowhere else to go and it’s more of a push for Hawks to orbit towards the League.

I am really thankful for your thoughts! Even though we don’t agree on things, I think discussion is still possible (whenever my anxiety stops bashing me in the head) and I’m always willing to accept I may be wrong about something. At this point in time (3/27/2019), we have less than 10 chapters released that centers around Hawks, but he’s certainly intrigued a lot of people considering he’s already #4 in popularity from so little chapters released! I think he and his introduction to BNHA represent the more cynical side of hero society that we haven’t been able to properly see from Deku’s perspective!

And I’m interested in what direction Horikoshi is going to take Hawks’ character in! The one thing I’m truly against is Hawks staying the “good little hero” in the end--whether he dies, becomes a villain, or hell even just stops being a hero is good enough for me. Free the bird or kill him off is what I’d want to see. That’d be enough of a character arc for me. Characters change, and it’d be silly to expect Hawks to stay the same especially since he has a lot of baggage on his shoulders and his current situation as a double agent for the League is precarious--despite him stating that he was willing to sacrifice his own reputation for the good of everyone, there’s no guarantee that he wouldn’t feel at least some degree of hurt over losing the respect of everyone and his colleagues.

My thoughts are pretty clunky but maybe someone was able to gleam something from my stupid 5 am vent...

I love Dabihawks, even though I’m not as invested in it as say Shigahawks or ShigaDabiHawks (which I’m sure you’d definitely have objections to considering your other salt posts... but not something I want to address here), and I still think DabiHawks is a great ship more so because of the dynamic than the aesthetic. But hey, you ship what you ship, you are allowed to express your disdain for the ship--I’ve certainly expressed my own disdain for the your ship in the past--and your salt posts which probably took like 10 minutes to type out provoked me to type out my own thoughts which took like 2 hours to fully process. Like I said earlier: you do you, I do me.

And again-- I’m not trying to “defend” here nor am I trying to “attack”. I just had things I wanted to say and I hope I DON’T have the attitude of someone looking down on you, because I think you have very valid opinions and thoughts and sometimes discourse can just be healthy discussions about how we interpret different characters. We are literally squeezing everything we can out of one character we love and there’s enough room for different interpretations of the same character ^^ If anything, I actually look up to you, which is why I’m too much of a coward to send this to you because oh my god i am so embarrassed about a lot of the shit that comes out of my mouth and i constantly worry about if im saying wrong things even though im open to people telling me why im wrong about said things.

tdlr; villains hawks very good. has nothing to do with dabihawks. villain hawks very good on its own. I agree with tumblr user on a lot of things, yet we see differently on other things. The world keeps spinning--I think it’s more interesting to address differences in opinions rather than ignore them.

(the person this post was meant for will probably never see this unless i send it to them to whcih im like oh my god what if they roast me to hell and back despite me claiming yes i amn ot trying to destroy them or their reputation i just want to talk about this because i had fun trying to think about why i love villain hawks so much aaaaa maybe i am just a delusional fangirl but im also a delusional fangirl who wrote multiple paragraphs about this so... /shrug)

end. again please dont interact. if you want to talk to me about it, inbox/dm me but i dont want this post to get notes. thank you. hides what have I done...

this has been sorta meta but not really just chicken fucking around at 6 am and good night. maybe sometime in the next... month... ill have the courage to send this to the tumblr user. maybe when i have confidence... or maybe when i make mel look this over. that was a joke- she couldnt even finish my other meta piece which was shorter than this. :)

#dont rb #i dont think anyone was going to #but i put it in case #indirect discourse #but this is actually an 18 year old idiot rambling on about fictional characters and ships and sounding like a crazy person by the end

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bow-wow-wark-wark · 3 years

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Hiii happy 4th hypmic anniversary, I know it's been like 3 days since the actual anniversary but *shrugs* anyways I wanted to answer the questions from this post to celebrate!! (This is going to be a long post lol, this just brings a ramble instinct in me)

1. How and when did you get into HyplMic?

I got into hypmic during the end of September/ start of October of last year, it feels like a lot of time and very little at the same time lol... so many people in the fandom have liked this for super long!! I got into it bc of someone I followed on twitter, they would talk about it sometimes and I was getting a bit sick of the music I listened too so I thought "why not expand my music taste?" Little that I know It was going to become the only thing I listened too lol. I also saw this like "a hypmic characther once said" video and I thought it was soooo funny I just had to get into it. I'm honestly surprised hypmic started in 2017 bc I was going through a god awful musical phase and knowing I could have liked it earlier in life amuses me (tho back then I thought anime was silly so it wouldn'thave happened either).

2. First impressions of the characters? Who stuck out the most?

(Another long one soz) I'm going to do most of them btw.

Buster bros: ichiro was the 1st chara I knew before I got into it, for a bit I had him mixed up with jyushi tho lmao. Tbh I didnt have a very strong opinion on him, I wasn't super into BB at the start 😅 same with jiro, I liked him the most, thought he was really cute. At the start I disliked saburo a bit lol, like he was just soooo mean and I didn't like that, also I wasnt a huge fan of new star at the start so I didnt like him bc of that either.

MTC: I had to fight a lot to openly like mtc, I felt a bit bad liking them at the start bc they're all like criminals and stuff lol. I have to be honest I think that at the start I didnt think about them like at all... the strongest impression here was Rio, he was my favorite also I thought jyuto was hilarious bc of the start of bayside smoking blues, I really liked his voice too.

Fling posse: ok so the moment I saw Ramuda I was like "this guy is evil as balls isnt he?" I was pretty right lol, I thought he was a child like saburo at the start bc hes so small, man fooled me there. I liked dice the most at the start, my 1st fanart is of him lol. I didnt have very strong opinions on Gentaro, I was surprised to find out his VA also voiced yamaguchi since I was a haikyuu fan if anything.

Matenro: Lol matenro was my favorite (still is), idk what was it but I saw all of them and I was like: great :D I dont remeber specific impressions tho.... It was almost like love at first sight lol. I remeber I really liked the fact that both hifumi and doppo had tips, I thought it was super cool.

BAT: ok so I also knew who kuuko was before I got into hypmic my actual actual 1st fanart was of him (I did it before I even knew what hypmic was like at all). I really liked him, I remember listening to gyara bam and being like "this guy rules so much", I really liked jyushi, as mentioned before I had him mixed with ichiro (they look nothing a like I dont even know how) I was super shocked to find out he was also a teen lol I was pretty happy. Not gonna lie I had no idea who hitoya was at the start (rip) I knew kuuko I knew jyushi but I didnt know him, I dont remeber being very big on him till like the dramas and getting more into hypmic bc before nothing nada.

Dotsuhon: lol I slept on dotsuhon for the looongest time, I literally only liked sasara, rosho and rei were just really there for me. Sasara was my favorite bc I loved his voice and tragic transitor gace me unrivaled latino vibes so he felt very close to me in a sense. I thought rei was a scumbag the moment I laid eyes on him.

3. Who was the first character you liked?

My 1st favorites before I found out about bat and dotsuhon where jiro and hifumi!! I really liked their voices and like over all attitude and stuff.

4. Which was the first Division you liked?

My favorite was matenro, they were just so cute and I liked how they were pretty chill and just had fun most of the time. Like how they tried looking all edgy and intimidating but they were all nice guys lol.

5. How have your favorites changed?

Not much lol my favorite is still hifumi tho know I have jyushi and Otome if were ranking on like top 3. I love all the charas now tho!!! Lol these are just my bigger ones. Division wise now my favorite is mtc, followed by bat I'm still a matenro stan tho!! All divisions have done some big growing on me so I love all of them anyways.

6. What was the first song you listened to?

The 1st song I listened to was battle anthem, I was super convinced it was the 1st hypmic song so I was surprised to hear it was division rap battle lol.

7. What's your favorite solo song?

Ghhhh this is so hard to choose... I actually like basically every single hypmic song.... if we're talking only 1t set that's easier to choose. Um that would be sensenfukoku, drops and champagne gold, I like all the mtc ones so I cant choose. Second set every single one is amazing so I cant choose either, tho at the start I disliked most of them somehow...

8. What's your favorite group song?

Ok at 1st i thought it was like an all division song but I just read it and it's just group song in general.... I love all of them but one of my biggest comfort songs is papillion so I'll say papillion. If were talking all stars songs that's easier tho: in no particular order its hoodstar (just heard the + ver and it slapped), survival of the illest+, glory or dust and hang out.

9. Which songs do you think are slept on?

Mmmmm I personally have no idea which songs people like more in general but I have seen a bunch of "my favorite hypmic moments" videos so I'll base it on that. I'll personally say any mtc song lol, in those videos theres always a surprising lack of mtc so yeah.

10. Do your favorite songs come from your favorite Division?

Yes, tho it's really no problem bc I like all songs😅

11. Objectively, who do you think is the best rapper?

I had never heard a lot of rapping till hypmic so I have no idea what good rapping is lol... I personally thinks everyone does a good job, I guess someone else can school me on that.

12. Which composers for HypMic do you listen to?

None... I honestly dont like know who composes which song.... I know very little about music and I dont look into it so I cant answer this one either.

13. If you had to get someone into HypMic with one song what would it be?

Oh :0 well I'm not very sure but if anything I think the way to go would be an all stars song bc you can get the feel of each division pretty good, then if they like that introduce them to other stuff. Of course this all depends on the person lol... my brother really likes strong songs so to him battle anthem was a good hook up... I quite personally would go for survival of the illest bc it has a good feel of the divisions and it's very silly which is a series staple.

14. Do you play ARB? Drop your friend code for people reading!

Nooooo I dont 🤧😢 I really want to but I dont think I would have space on my phone, besides idk how to download it, if you have to pay for it I dont have money and if it's only in japanese I'm learning at snails speed so I wouldnt understand it *cries a little* I have seen certain events tho, I find it funny.

15. What events are you hoping to see? What character combos do you hope will show up together?

Mmmm idk I have a post about but I'll love to see a sasara jakurai interaction, I'm pretty sure one has already happened but I want this funny man to interact with jakurai more. Some people mentioned that they would like to see more interactions between kuuko and samatoki and I agree, wheres that side of the mad comic dialogue line up? I'll also like to see hitoya and samatoki bc they're both into vintage stuff ish, like fashion wise so I think it would be interesting to see. Last I want a jyushi/jiro interaction idk of there's any but there needs to be I need them to interact!!! Or maybe saburo jyushi that would also be interesting.

16. Are you into any ships?

Yes!!! I'm a little shy talking about ships not going to lie so I don't talk about it too much lol. I like samajyu a normal amount, I also like ichikuu, jiroshi, hifudo and hitojaku. I like a lot of other ships too tho, like ot3 mtc is good so is fling posse tho my favorite is ramugen. Hypmic has a bunch of cute ships so it's hard not to enjoy most.

17. Do you have a yume/self-ships? Platonic or romantic.

Not really lol, I have considered reading self insert before but I always feel a bit embarrassed. If you do you're super poggers tho.

Ok I'll keep answering in another post bc this is getting super long and the next question is one I want to say a lot about again. Umm if you happen to see this and want to answer them too fell free to!! You can tag me if you want as well, I love seeing others opinions about like hypmic and stuff so feel free too. If you want to comment on something I said you're free to do so as well

#this is so long #km not sorry tho 😈#ok maybe a bit #this questions really bring that animal instinct in me lol #brains is being replaced by hypmic sorry #im not tagging bc #long post #ramble post #you can block the ramble tag if you dont want to see this lol #also if theres mispelling in this ignore it #i cant spell or read #this really is so long im so sorry.... ill make sure to cut the next one earlier if it gets too long

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raptorginger · 6 years

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Handprints (Complete, 10k+ words) - by raptorginger

Chapter 1: Dark Souls

It was 11:00PM when he heard the tiny voice behind him. He was levelling up in Dark Souls III after a particularly grueling battle and hadn’t heard her sneak up behind his chair.

“Uncle Ben?” asked the tiny voice timidly.

He turned immediately to see the little girl that had become his whole world in a few short months. Little Cass. She stood rubbing her big brown eyes, blonde hair sleep ruffled, black jammie dress with the little aliens on them wrinkled. She was holding her favorite stuffed dog by its paw, the one that was almost as big as her. He could see tear tracks down her pink cheeks. She’d had the dream again.

“What is it, Sweetheart? Did you have the dream again?” he asked tenderly, holding his arms out.

The tiny creature clambered eagerly into his arms and lap, nodding as she did so. “Uh-huh.”

Ben readjusted her in his lap so he could hold her, the stuffed dog, and his controller. He held her tight. She’d been having the dream on and off in the several months since her parents had died. She would be with them, her mom and dad, somewhere sunny and happy, when a dark shape would take them from her, consuming them in a dark cloud. She would scream and reach out, her tiny hands grasping at nothingness. And she would fall, fall forever into a dark pit, the darkness swallowing her small body completely.

Since Cass had come to live with Ben after his sister, Padme, and her husband’s death, he had done all he could to help her adjust. He knew he was a poor substitute for her parents, but Cass had loved him all the same, even opening up and talking to him a little bit. The first time she’d come to him holding out a tea cup and asked him to play, his heart had soared, and he knew he’d do anything for this small child. It killed him that he couldn’t keep her nightmares from her sleep.

He held her tightly while the game’s music played quietly in the air around them. He sensed that there was more she wanted to say, but he didn’t push. She was starting kindergarten tomorrow. She was having a hard time socially, which was understandable, and honestly, he probably wasn’t the greatest role model in that department. She was probably terrified.

He felt guilty about that, but there honestly wasn’t a whole lot he could do. He’d done the playdate thing a few times at the behest of his mother, trying to make awkward small talk with the other parents, typically moms, but all had simply looked at him askance and with strange, slightly accusing looks, like they didn’t believe he was Cass’ legal guardian. They’d all huddle together, whispering, keeping him out. It was like high school all over again, and it pissed him off. But, he’d borne his discomfort for Cass’ sake. Cass hadn’t had an easier time. She couldn’t talk to the other children. She’d always end up playing alone. So, they stopped doing the playdate thing. Now Ben would take her to the park, and they would just play together. They’d play pirates or swing or scramble about on the fort. That’s when he’d see her old smile come out, and his heart would soar.

“Are you scared of starting school tomorrow?” he asked quietly.

Cass nodded, nuzzling into her dog. “Uh-huh.”

“Why?”

She thought awhile before answering. “What if the other kids don’t like me? Like all those kids at the park?”

Ben felt himself getting angry. He counted to ten. He sighed, “Those kids at the park were not nice. The kids in your class are going to be different. And they’d be crazy not to like you. You do have to talk to them though, Sweetheart. They won’t know you’re nice if you don’t talk to them.”

“But what if there’s like, a hundred?! That’s too many people to talk to!”

Ben felt a smile quirk his lips. “That is a lot, but I highly doubt there will be that many.” In fact, he knew that for certain. He’d picked this school specifically because of the small class size. And the teaching philosophy, but that was beside the point at the moment.

Cass made a small humming sound into the dog’s neck.

Ben continued, “And you don’t have to talk to everybody. Maybe just pick one classmate who seems nice like you and say ‘Hi.’ That would be a good start.”

“What if they don’t say hi back or say something mean?” Cass asked plaintively.

“Then they don’t say ‘hi’ back, and you’ll know not to try and be friends. If they say something mean, then tell your teacher.”

“What if the teacher is mean?”

Ben highly doubted that. The teacher, a Rey Johnson, had sent a letter to each parent about a week ago. It had been a cheery introduction, detailing her background and how committed she was to their child’s education. Ben had gotten the sense that this woman was irrepressibly cheerful and probably the nicest person in the world, perfectly suited for her job. “I don’t think your teacher is going to be mean. But if she is, come tell me, ok?”

Cass nodded, “Ok, Uncle Ben. Do I really have to talk to anybody?”

Ben sighed softly. “No, you don’t have to, but I’d like you to.” He really wanted Cass to have a friend her age. Her 30 year old surrogate parent uncle couldn’t be the only person in her life.

Cass snuggled deeper into her stuffed animal.

“I’ll make you a deal. If you talk to one of your classmates, I’ll take you out for ice cream when I pick you up. Deal?”

Cass looked at him. “Ok.” She paused, “Can we get ice cream even if I don’t?”

Ben looked into her big brown doe eyes. “Of course. But if you talk to another kid, I’ll make it a McFlurry.”

She broke out into a wide grin, making Ben break out into one of his own.

“Can I watch you play a while?”

She really shouldn’t, she had school tomorrow, but she looked like she’d fall asleep any second. “Ok, Sweetheart.” Cass snuggled deeper into Ben’s arms as he unpaused his game, making sure he didn’t fight anything too scary. She was asleep in an instant. A few minutes later, Ben saved his game, turned off the television, and carried Cass to her bed, tucking her and her dog in tight before kissing her softly on the forehead, hoping that kept the bad dreams away.

Chapter 2: Purple Cubby

Ben pulled his black Jetta TDI into a parking space near the entrance to the school. It wasn’t the designated drop off area per se, but Ben wanted to walk in with Cass. They’d arrived a bit earlier than the typical drop off time. Ben was hoping to have a word with Cass’ teacher Mrs. Johnson (Ben assumed she was married; most teachers he’d met were), and Cass wanted him to walk in with her anyway.

Ben knew he looked ridiculous, walking in to the school. He was tall and broad and even looked ridiculous in buildings with regular size furniture. He tried to shrink himself, hunching his shoulders, ducking his head sightly, one hand stuffed in the pocket of his jeans. Cass clung to his other arm. He led her to her classroom, following the cheerfully painted signs to Miss (he noticed) Johnson’s room. He looked like a giant among the child sized chairs and tables.

It was a bright and cheerful room. There was an abundance of windows letting in the natural light, what little wall there was was painted white and covered with boards that would eventually display the students’ work. A banner ran around the room near the ceiling, repeating the alphabet in bright colors. There was a little alcove off the room that held the children’s cubbies for coats and bookbags and boots. Each cubby was painted a different color of the rainbow, a prettily painted little sign with each child’s name hanging from it. Ben presumed Miss Johnson had made those herself. Ben helped Cass find her cubby and hang up her jacket and backpack. Ben saw Cass smile sweetly when she saw her cubby was painted purple, her favorite color.

“Did Miss Johnson know that’s my favorite, Uncle Ben?!” she asked incredulously, her voice barely above a whisper.

“No, but I’m glad it worked out that way,” a lovely voice answered. Ben turned and saw a young woman behind them. Miss Johnson was very young and very pretty, he realized. She was wearing a white a-line dress with an eyelet overlay under a seafoam green cardigan and black flats. It accented her natural tan skin, warm brown hair, and the smattering of freckles on her face. Her hazel eyes were full of light. Her rosy lips were smiling sweetly down at Cass. “Hi! I’m Miss Rey,” the woman said, still looking at Cass. She had knelt down to one knee to bring her eye level with her as she introduced herself. Ben tried not to look down her dress. He felt his face starting to turn red. He ran a hand through his unruly hair, mussing it further.

“I’m Cass Antilles,” Cass said softly.

“Hi Cass! I’m happy to have you in my class,” Rey replied softly. “Since you’re the first here, would you like to go pick your seat?”

Cass nodded enthusiastically and scampered off to choose a seat near one of the windows, leaving Ben alone with Rey.

Ben held a hand out to her, to help her up. She took it, his large hand dwarfing her small one. He had a good foot on her in height. Keeping a hold of her hand, he gave it a slight shake. “Hi, I’m Cass’ uncle Ben Solo.”

She smiled up at him, her hand very warm in his own. “I’m Rey Johnson.” Her voice had a lovely timbre and a British accent. He could listen to her talk all day.

“Umm, listen, could I talk to you a minute? About Cass?” Ben asked. When she glanced at the clock, he added, “I won’t take too much of your time, I just need you to know a bit about her situation.”

Rey nodded, “Alright, Mr. Solo. But other children will start arriving soon.”

“I know. I’ll be brief. I became Cass’ legal guardian when her parents died. Her mother was my sister. She and her husband died in an accident a few months ago, and Cass came to live with me. She’s been having trouble opening up to people since then. She’s very quiet and shy, even before the accident, but even more so now. But she’s a sweet girl with so much light and niceness. I just really want her to have a friend that isn’t me…” Ben realized he was starting to ramble, his hands beginning to tug at his hair. He was looking everywhere but at her.

He quieted when Rey touched his arm. Her touch was warm and gentle. “I’m so sorry for your loss Mr. Solo. For yours and Cass’. She is a sweet girl. I will do my best to help with her social development this year, you have my word.”

Ben nodded, meeting her sincere gaze. He often forgot, in caring for Cass, that he had also lost his sister, his best friend. He didn’t dwell on it too long or he might fall apart, right in front of the glowing woman before him.

“And if I may say so, you’re incredibly sweet,” Rey blushed when she paused a bit too long. “To be concerned about her well being I mean,” she added hurriedly.

“Of course I am. Who wouldn’t be concerned about their child making friends their own age?” Ben replied, trying desperately to ignore her blush.

“You’d be surprised, Mr. Solo,” Rey replied sadly. “Anyway, thank you for telling me about Cass.” She held out her hand again.

Ben reached out slowly and took it, the warmth spreading through him again. “Call me Ben. Thank you for listening, Miss Johnson.”

“Rey, if you please,” she replied, giving his hand a small shake. She released him, turning to address the other children beginning to filter into the classroom.

Ben watched her move about the children, directing them to their cubbies and helping others find their seats. She moved gracefully, a big smile on her face. She radiated happiness. Ben walked to the door, flipping a wave to Cass as he left. He saw that a small dark skinned girl had approached her and was offering her a graham cracker from her bag. Cass timidly took it and offered the girl the seat next to hers. He smiled. He had a good feeling about this year.

Chapter 3: Naptime

Rey worked quietly on her seating chart by lamplight during naptime. She had switched off the overhead light and drawn the shades over the windows. Soft classical music was playing. Soon she would switch it off, open the blinds, and start waking the kids up. For now, she worked. Until a pair of soft brown eyes began to cloud her mind, filled with warmth and sadness. Slowly the rest of Ben’s face formed in her mind, and her thoughts drifted to him. His concern for his niece was so earnest. Rey hadn’t missed the fact that he’d called her his child.

She was glad she’d get to tell Ben he didn’t need to worry. She looked over to where Cass was curled up, asleep. She was huddled together with Marlo, the daughter of her friends FInn Brahe and Rose Tico, and Killian, the son of her other close friend Poe Dameron and his wife Jessika. Marlo had offered Cass a graham cracker earlier that day, and Cass had offered her a place to sit. Killian had taken another seat at their table, since he and Marlo were inseparable. All three looked like they were becoming fast friends. Rey smiled. She couldn’t think of two nicer children to be friends with.

Her thoughts turned back to Ben. He’d looked so sweet, large shoulders hunched, shuffling awkwardly, tugging his hair as he spoke. His eyes held such a sadness. Rey sighed. She wondered if he’d had time to grieve for the sister and friend he’d lost. If he had allowed himself that time, or if he’d thrown himself completely into caring for Cass. Rey wondered if he had even wanted to be a father, what he’d had to do to adjust. He seemed young, a bit older than her to be sure, but still young to have fatherhood unexpectedly thrown at him. She wondered if he had anyone to take care of him.

Suddenly, an image popped into her mind. Her fingers running gently through his hair, soothing him while he rested his head on her shoulder, his strong arms around her waist, holding her to him. What if his plush lips ghosted along her neck? Maybe his large hands would drift slowly up her back then back down, down to grip her…

Rey shook her head. Nope, nope, she couldn’t think of that right now. Besides, she thought sadly, someone like Ben probably wouldn’t want someone like her. She was incredibly independent. Finn, Rose, Poe, and Jessika were the only people in her life who had stuck around, seeing her loneliness in spite of her independent attitude. Her parents had abandoned her, and she’d been kicked around multiple foster homes until she aged out of the system about 5 years ago. She’d made peace with her past, but it had left its mark. Most men she went out with found her difficult to deal with, and there had never been more than one date. She didn’t need to inflict that on Ben, who clearly didn’t need anything else complicated in his life.

***

The rest of the day went wonderfully for Rey. After naptime was art, music, and crafts. She was too busy to think about anything but her kids. Before she knew it, 3:00PM rolled around. The bell rang, and Rey released her kids to their cubbies to gather their things. Once the kids had everything, Rey herded them together and led them to the pick up line outside. She waved when she saw Finn and Poe waiting patiently for Marlo and Killian. The pair tugged on Cass’ arms, wanting to introduce her to their respective fathers. Both men went down on one knee to say hello to the small girl hiding her face in Marlo’s shoulder, peeking at them shyly. Rey was smiling at the group, hugging her arms to her midriff, when a shadow came up beside her.

“I can’t believe it,” she heard Ben murmur beside her. His voice sent a shiver down her spine. She held herself tighter and looked up at Ben’s bewildered but smiling face. Her stomach did a flip.

“I’ve known those two since they were born. You couldn’t find two nicer children,” Rey said.

“Rey, I...I can’t thank you enough for this,” Ben said, looking down into her eyes.

“I had nothing to do with it. Cass did it all on her own,” she replied, returning his smile with a shy one of her own.

She saw something change in Ben’s gaze that made her blush slightly. She looked away. “I’ve known their parents since I was a teenager. They’re good people.”

“Seems like it,” Ben said with a hint of caution. His expression changed when Cass ran up to them. He bent down and scooped her up in his arms, lifting her high. Rey’s stomach flipped again. She needed to get a hold of that; this really wasn’t fair.

“How was your day, Sweetheart?” Ben asked Cass.

“Great, Uncle Ben! I made two friends! Marlo and Killian!” Cass replied excitedly.

“You did?! That’s awesome!”

Cass was nodding enthusiastically. “Can I play with them at the park on Saturday? Their dads said it was ok.”

“Of course, Sweetheart. Did they say what time?”

“Lunchtime.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Cass hugged his neck tightly. “Yay!! Miss Rey, will you come too? Mr. Poe said you should come.”

Rey had been so absorbed in the conversation between the two of them that she was startled when Cass addressed her. “I would love to, if that’s alright with your Uncle Ben,” she stammered, looking at Ben.

Ben looked at her again, his brown eyes warm and inviting. Was she mistaken, or was there less sadness when he looked at her? “I’d love that.”

Chapter 4: Black Hat

Ben spent the hours Cass was at school actually in his office at First Order Web Design and Security. He and another guy named Hux handled the security part while another team handled the web design part. It was all run by this old codger named Snoke who wanted a foot in the tech world.

“Well well, the prodigal son returns,” Hux grumbled as Ben sat down at his desk. Ben had made an arrangement to work from home until Cass started school. He’s kept himself free that first day in case she needed him. From all appearances, it didn’t look like she was going to. With the help of her new friends, Cass was adjusting incredibly well. It helped that Rey was their teacher, with her serene demeanor and just general air of kindness. And she had those hazel eyes that danced when she saw him. And that warm brown hair that complimented her golden skin perfectly. And those damn adorable freckles...

“I hope you didn’t pester the NSA too much while I was out, Hux” Ben replied, shaking his head to scatter thoughts of Rey. He was in a good mood.

“No more than you do anytime you jump online, Kylo,” Hux retorted. Ben scowled at Hux. Both of them had done some black hat work in college and after, when Ben had used the hacker alias Kylo Ren. Ben had given that up the second Cass was born. Hux used the name to tease him now.

“Whatever,” Ben mumbled.

“So how is the little one? Still ridiculously precious, I assume?” Hux asked. Anyone else would have taken offense at Hux’s prissy tone, but Ben knew that’s just how Hux was. Somehow Cass had reached through Hux’s cold exterior, and he genuinely did care.

“Great, actually. She’s making friends, smiling more. It’s incredible, Hux,” Ben replied, gleaming.

“Really? Who’s the teacher?”

“She’s, umm, new this year, according to her letter. Her name’s Rey Johnson. She’s…” Ben paused, trying to think of how to adequately describe Rey to Hux.

“Oh my Gawd, you have the dopiest look on your face,” Hux snickered. “She’s that hot, huh?”

“Shut up, Hux. It’s not like that.”

“Umm, yes it is. I’ve known you since college, and I have seen that look precisely once.”

“Then you’ll remember the look that came after it,” Ben grumbled. Rejection was not a good look on Ben. He’d fallen hard for a girl in one of his classes. She did not return the feeling. He’d spent the rest of the day in his apartment, growling at Hux and stomping around. Hux had finally had enough and had dragged him to the bar that night to get drunk and hook up with a random girl. That had essentially been Ben’s only sexual encounter, and it had been shitty. He found out he wasn’t the hook up type. Ben realized a physical connection wasn’t enough. He wanted an emotional one too.

“Oh please. That was ages ago. And who knows, maybe she’s The One,” Hux said, rolling his pale blue eyes. He was Ben’s polar opposite in that department.

“Maybe…” Ben whispered to himself as he worked, seeing Rey dancing in his code.

Chapter 5: Touch

When Saturday rolled around (finally), Rey found herself staring at her closet like a deer caught in the headlights. What the hell did you wear to a playdate in the park? When you weren’t even a parent to one of the kids on said playdate. And half the reason you were going was to slyly check out the large brooding man with the soft dark hair.

Rey had found an excuse to touch his hair this week at pick up time. She’d lied and said a bit of dandelion fluff had gotten caught. Ben had obligingly bent down and allowed her to pluck the imaginary fluff from his hair. She may have lingered a bit, stroking the soft strands gently.

“Got it,” she’d whispered. The look he was giving her left her breathless.

“Thanks,” Ben had replied, holding her gaze as he rose.

Rey rifled through her shirts. Unless she was mistaken, Ben must feel the same way she did. At least a little bit. It seemed he’d found any excuse to touch her this past week. When a couple kids had bumped into her, she hadn’t really been in danger of falling over, but his long fingers had wrapped around her arms anyway, just to make sure. She’d shivered as his thumbs rubbed inside her upper arms. Another time his hand had come to rest on her lower back once when she’d tripped, just a little, on a bit of uneven pavement. His warm touch had lingered maybe a tad longer than was necessary.

Rey found herself blushing like a teenager in her closet, one hand on her cheek, the other over her stomach. She felt giddy, nervous. She shook her head. Focus, she told herself. You don’t want to be late, she thought as she grabbed a pair of dark wash skinny jeans off the shelf and a fitted light grey tunic top off the hanger. She tugged on her dark brown leather Frye riding boots to complete the ensemble. She brushed her hair, working it into her favorite three bun style and rubbed some BB cream onto her face. She grabbed a granola bar from the kitchen and threw it along with her phone and keys into her bag and headed out of her apartment.

***

It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny. Everyone was already at the park when Rey pulled up. Poe and Finn were chatting on a bench with Jessika while Rose was helping Killian cheer Marlo and Cass on as they tried to wrestle Ben to the ground.

Rey placed her hand over her heart, willing it to slow its rapid beating. If she thought Ben was attractive when he was brooding, that was nothing compared to when he was laughing with a big smile on his face, children climbing all over him like a jungle gym. And then Ben saw her. He stopped laughing, but his smile grew broader. Ben said a few words and pointed to her, the kids all turned and ran to Rey screaming, arms out. Still holding his gaze, Rey knelt down and held her arms out, little bundles of energy crashing into her.

By the time she disentangled herself, Ben had made his way over. He held his hand out to help her up. She took it gladly, giving it a slight squeeze as she let go when everyone else came over.

“Glad you made it, Rey!” Jessika exclaimed, giving Rey a hug.

“It’s been forever!” said Rose, doing the same.

“How have you been since yesterday?” Poe asked cheekily.

Rey laughed, “Fine, Poe.”

“Can we have lunch now, Daddy?” Marlo asked Finn.

Finn laughed, “Sure thing, Peanut. I’m starving.”

They all made their way over to a shady spot under some trees, Rose and Jessika spreading out blankets, Finn and Poe distributing sandwiches to everyone and bottles of cold tea to the adults, and Ben and Rey handing out sippy cups of water and bags of Cheez-its to the kids. They sat in pairs, with the kids kind of in the middle. The little ones ate and drank quickly and fell asleep just as fast.

They all talked for awhile, asking Ben about what he did for a living, Ben asking what they did, what everyone enjoyed doing on weekends. Rey watched Ben grow from cautious and guarded to warm and open as he grew more comfortable with her friends. She smiled, hugging her knees to her chest. Picnics were all well and good in theory, but sitting on the ground quickly lost its charm.

Poe nudged Finn, prompting him to turn to Ben and ask, “Hey, Ben, what was that you were saying about your friends? They’re playing some concert tonight or something? Rey you’re not busy tonight are you?”

Rey shook her head, watching as a blush crept up Ben’s cheeks as he turned to her, tugging his hair again in that adorable way he did.

“Umm, yeah, my friends Hux and Phasma are playing tonight at the brewery downtown. My parents offered to watch the kids for the night, if you’d like to come too. I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want…”

Rey smiled at him, resting her head on her knees. “I’d love to.”

Chapter 6: Beer Garden

Ben’s palms were sweaty. Why were his palms so sweaty? Wiping them on his jeans, he kept an eye out for Rey. A lot of people had turned out for the concert; that would please Hux and Phasma. He’d helped them set up a couple hours ago before going home to shower and change.

Cass and her friends were already at his parents’. Leia had been overjoyed to host a sleepover. Han was already on the phone with the pizza place, ordering stuffed crust. Ben almost wished he was staying with his parents. Almost. His mother had given him a pat on the cheek before he left, his dad gave him a wink. Apparently he hadn’t been as subtle about Rey as he thought in his conversations with them.

He’d also spent a few minutes before he left straightening up around the house, putting empty glasses and sippy cups in the dishwasher, putting his D&D 5e books back on the shelf with his video games, making his bed. Not that he thought anyone but him was going to see it tonight, just because he had some time to kill. Really, that was the only reason.

As he waited for Rey, he thought about Hux’s comments while he’d helped them set up.

“I swear to Hades, Solo, if you don’t make a move, I am going to call you out on stage,” Hux had said.

Phasma, overhearing, had come up and added, “Yeah, we’ll make you sing.” Ben scowled at Hux. He must have told Phasma about Rey during one of their practices.

“You’ve been moon-eyed over this girl all week and you won’t shut up about her. Just go for it, you moron.”

“Hux, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Just leave it alone,” Ben had snarled.

Hux sighed, his haughty facade replaced with a kinder one Ben had only seen a couple times. He put his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Ben, in all seriousness. If you care about this girl, really care about her, you need to do something about it. You can’t let fear hold you back from what could be the best thing to happen to you...ok, second best thing.”

Ben had looked at Hux dumbfounded.

“I mean, I’m obviously the best,” Hux had added in an exaggerated haughty manner.

Phasma laughed and threw in her two cents. “If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. But you won’t know until you DO something. And from what Hux has told me, it sounds like this girl is warm for your form dude. Go for it.”

And there she was, walking in with Finn, Poe, Rose, and Jessika. She was laughing and smiling at something one of them had said. When their eyes met, her smile grew a little broader, her eyes a little brighter. She had let her hair down, the warm brown tresses curling slightly. The afternoon sunshine had brought her freckles out a bit more. Why was she always glowing? Ben felt his palms get sweaty again. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

The group made their way over to him, Rey coming to stand beside him. “Hey guys, glad you could make it,” Ben said sheepishly, trying very hard not to stare at Rey. “Umm, they’ve set up a bar out in the beer garden where the concert’ll be. They pulled some limited stuff out of the cellar, high octane so I’d be careful. I can be the DD, if you want.”

He pulled some cards out of his pocket, handing one to each of them. “Hux and Phas gave me these as a thank you for helping them set up. These’ll get you 15% off your drinks when you show them to the bartender.”

“Thanks, Ben! That’s awfully nice of you!” Rose chirped.

“Yeah, that’s awesome of you to offer, but we can just get a cab or something if you want to partake,” Poe said.

“No big deal. I have room in my car, and I don’t really drink.” He’d made sure to borrow his dad’s SUV, since there was no way he could get everyone in his Jetta. Han had been almost too happy, shoving the keys in Ben’s hand and nearly shoving him out the door, telling him to have a good time with his friends.

“Well alrighty then! Make a path, Finn is cutting loose!” Finn had cried, making a beeline for the bar.

Rose laughed, trailing after him. “If I don’t keep an eye on him, I’ll lose him!” she shouted behind her.

Poe and Jessika followed after them, leaving Rey and Ben alone.

“Can I, umm, get you something?” Ben asked, running his hand through his hair as they walked out into the beer garden.

“Sure. What do they have?” Rey asked as they approached the bar. She was toying with her fingers nervously.

The bartender helped them both pick a beer, a session ale for Ben since it was low ABV and a chocolate mint stout for Rey. As they were about to turn to leave the bartender called out, “Hey Miss! Wait you forgot your cookie!”

Rey turned around confused, and the bartender handed her a Thin Mint. “Your beer comes with a Thin Mint. It highlights the chocolate and mint notes in the beer.”

Rey thanked him and went back to Ben, nibbling her cookie. “I got a cookie,” she said bemused.

“I can see that,” Ben replied, laughing. He held his hand up when she offered him half.

They found the rest of their friends standing off to the side of the crowd and joined them.

***

A ways into the concert, Rey had lost herself in the music, and she failed to notice they’d lost Finn and Poe. Rose came up to her, a bit drunk and frazzled. “I lost Finn,” she wailed.

“Oh dear, he can’t have gone far,” Rey said, trying not to laugh. She saw that Ben was still beside her, staring off into middle distance.

“Will you help me find him? You know how he and Poe get sometimes,” Rose asked.

“Sure. Ben, will you help me find Finn? Ben?” Rey touched Ben’s arm lightly.

“Huh? Oh! Sure thing. Come on, I think I saw one of them go this way,” Ben replied, shaking himself out of his reverie. He grabbed Rey’s hand, pulling her into the crowd.

“Thank you!” Rose called out as she headed a different direction.

Ben and Rey moved through the sea of bodies until they reached the middle of the crowd. Ben was so tall, he was hoping he’d be able to spot one of them from the middle. He scanned the crowd, but couldn’t see either of them. He looked down and saw that Rey was wrapped up in the music again, moving slightly to the beat. He stopped looking and watched her out of the corner of his eye.

Ben saw Phas catch Hux’s eye and jerk her chin in his direction. Hux seemed to look him square in the eye. Surely they couldn’t pick him out of the crowd.

Or maybe they could. Phasma stepped up to her microphone and said, “Alright folks, we’re gonna slow things down a notch. Take a chance...to catch your breath.” She and Hux started in on a slow romantic melody. They had seen him. Ben’s palms got sweaty again. He wiped them on his jeans again.

As the song played on stage, Ben felt a surge of...something...flow through him. Something bright and shining. His hand sought Rey’s beside him. Wrapping his long fingers around her hand, he pulled her closer. She was looking up at him, her hazel eyes meeting his brown ones, her lips parted slightly.

“Rey,” Ben swallowed. He bent down to whisper in her ear, “Can I...can I kiss you?”

Rey’s free hand came up and stroked his cheek gently. “Yes,” she whispered back.

Ben’s heart sang as he turned his head slightly, capturing her lips with his own. He kissed her gently, bringing his hand up to the nape of her neck, his thumb stroking behind her ear along her hairline.

Rey returned his kiss shyly, having never been kissed like this before, or really ever. He was being so gentle, almost like he knew. When she felt his tongue brush her lower lip, a bolt of feeling went straight to her lower abdomen. She opened her lips a bit, letting him in. He deepened the kiss, increasing the pressure on her lips slightly as his tongue explored her mouth. Her hand slipped into his hair, the soft locks like silk beneath her fingers. She felt a hum vibrate in his throat. Encouraged, she let her tongue slip across his. His grip tightened on her neck and hand.

Ben ended the kiss as gently as he began it when the song came to an end. Resting his forehead against hers, he whispered, “I wanted to do that the second I met you.”

“Really?” Rey asked quietly, almost unable to believe it.

Ben nodded.

“Can I tell you something, Ben?”

“Anything.”

“That was, umm, my first kiss,” Rey stammered, looking down.

Ben pulled away from her slightly, a look of incredulity on his face as something almost primal roared through him. Placing his fingers beneath her chin, he urged her to look back up at him. When she complied, looking up at him through her lashes, Ben held her face between his hands, bringing his lips to hers again. This kiss was deeper, almost insistent. Another bolt of feeling shot through Rey, straight to the place between her thighs as Ben’s tongue stroked inside her mouth.

“We’d like to remind the audience that while PDA is fine, please keep it PG,” Ben heard Hux’s amused voice over the clamor of the crowd. He and Rey jumped apart almost instinctually, both of them blushing deeply.

“And to the two guys doing push ups in front of the stage, thank you for the entertainment,” Phasma added.

Ben cocked an eyebrow at Rey. “You don’t think…”

Rey held a hand up to her mouth, stifling her laughter. “I absolutely do.”

Rey grabbed Ben’s hand and led him towards the front of the crowd. There they found Poe and Finn, on the ground, doing push ups while Rose and Jessika tried in vain to get them to leave with them. Apparently they had really enjoyed the bar’s high octane offerings. With Ben and Rey’s help, Jessika and Rose managed to get Finn and Poe off to the side of the stage. Both were incredibly inebriated.

Rose turned to Ben saying, “I think it’s time to go.”

Rey smiled shyly when Ben looked at her and said, “I think so too.”

Chapter 7: New

Rey stood on Ben’s stoop as he unlocked the front door of his house, hands clasped together, nervously chewing her lip. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a little bit scared. She was a virgin, and while the concept held no meaning for her, the physical implications intimidated her a little bit. She’d experimented a bit with her fingers in the past, read novels and stories online, but this was guaranteed to be something else entirely. Ben was just so large; there was no way the parts she couldn’t see weren’t proportional. And what about Ben? Was he going to expect things from her? Was she supposed to do something for him?

Ben pushed the door open and turned to her, holding his hand out to her. “Come in,” the faintest hint of a question in his words. Rey took his hand tentatively, walking in. Ben’s thumb brushed across her knuckles, trying to reassure her.

“Rey, I can take you home if you want. You don’t have to stay. With me,” Ben said gently.

“No, Ben. I want to stay. I...want it...to be you,” Rey replied haltingly, not quite sure how to convey that she wanted her first time to be with him. Without sounding like a teenager anyway. She pulled off her boots, a sign she intended to stay.

Ben wrapped her in his arms, holding her close. “To be honest, Rey, you aren’t the only inexperienced one here,” Ben murmured into her hair.

Rey looked up at him. “What?”

“I...I’ve only been with one other person. It was a drunk hook up thing in college. I learned that wasn’t for me. Since then, there was never anyone that I...cared about enough to want to sleep with.”

Rey could only stare at him. How could someone as attractive and caring as him have only slept with one person? And did he say he cared for her?

“I mean, I’ve read and...stuff, so I’m pretty sure I know what I’m doing,” he said with a lopsided grin.

Rey reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, saying softly, “I trust you.” She rose on her toes, “Make me yours, Ben” she whispered in his ear, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

That primal instinct roared through Ben again- the need to claim and possess. Where the hell had that come from? He’d examine that later. Right now, he bent and scooped Rey up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom. He set her gently on top of the king size bed, cradling the side of her face in his hand. Rey turned and nuzzled into his palm, pressing a kiss there.

Rey sat on the edge of the mattress, watching him intently. His fingers trailed from her cheek down her neck, ghosting over her breast, causing her to shiver. Ben leaned forward, capturing her lips in a deep kiss and his hands crept to her waist, grabbing handfuls of her shirt and pulling it up and over her head. Rey blushed as he regarded her with eyes blown wide by lust.

“Stand up for me, Rey,” Ben said, his voice rougher and deeper.

Rey stood, shaking slightly, but trying to hold herself still. Ben reached and unbuttoned her jeans, sliding them slowly over her hips and down to to the floor and off, kneeling before her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, Ben looked up at Rey.

“So beautiful,” Ben whispered as he began to press kisses onto her stomach and hips. His large hands began caressing her back, down over the curve of her ass and back up. He could smell her arousal through the grey silk. Shit that was hot. Ben felt his erection straining against his jeans. Rey’s hands threaded through his hair, gently scratching his scalp. He rose and began to undress, Rey watching him with wide eyes.

When Ben stood before her, Rey reached out and touched his chest, trailing her fingers lightly down his abdomen. His skin was pale, bearing moles and scars. She felt him shudder as her touch reached his hip. Rey could see now that she had been right; everything was proportional. She swallowed thickly, but she trusted Ben not to hurt her.

He wrapped her in his arms again, kissing her more urgently as he pushed her back against the bed. Tangled together, Rey felt Ben’s hands roaming slowly all over her body as his mouth moved from her lips to her neck, sucking gently at the sensitive place where it met her shoulder. She raked her nails softly down his back as soft moans escaped her.

He moved lower kissing her sternum, stroking her breast over the lace of her bra. Reaching behind her, Ben deftly undid the hooks and pulled it off her, throwing it to the side. He raised himself up, taking in her flushed skin and the dusky rose of her nipples. He reached out and stroked each with the backs of his fingers, watching the delicate skin harden and pebble beneath his touch. Rey gasped when he lowered his head suddenly, taking one in his mouth, licking and nipping at the sensitive skin while he kneaded the other. He reached out with his other hand and interlaced their fingers, holding her tight.

Rey had been so wrapped up in the sensation of his mouth on her breast that she jumped as she felt his fingers slipping beneath the band of her underwear.

Ben released her breast, coming back up to look in her pleasure glazed eyes. “I’m going to touch you, Rey,” he said, panting. “Are you wet for me, Love?”

“Yes, Ben. I’m so wet for you. Only you,” Rey replied breathlessly. “Please, Ben. Please.”

He felt himself throbbing painfully at her words. Only you. Please. He ground his hips into the mattress, hoping to relieve the pressure on his cock somewhat. They were the most beautiful words he’d ever heard. Obligingly, he reached beneath the thin silk and stroked her slit gently. He pressed his lips to her ear, purring, “So wet.”

Rey moaned and cried beneath Ben’s careful ministrations. He took his time with her, finding out what made her moan and what made her scream. When her cries became whimpers and her body started writhing, he slid one finger inside her, causing Rey to arch. Ben began stroking inside her, revelling in how tight she was around him.

“Oh, Ben,” Rey sighed, drunk on pleasure.

“Hmm,” Ben hummed in her ear. “Am I hurting you, Love?”

“Oh God, no,” Rey moaned as Ben continued to stroke her, finding a patch that felt different than the others. Rubbing it, he smiled as that caused Rey to cry out loudly. He continued to stroke her, using his thumb to rub at her tight bundle of nerves. Adding another finger, Ben began stretching her as he stroked, her pleading cries music to his ears.

Rey’s insides felt strange, like there was a spring in her middle, coiled tight. She writhed and squirmed beside Ben as he touched her, breathy moans and loud cries escaping her. She threw a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle herself, but Ben grabbed her wrist and pulled it away.

“I want to hear you, Rey. I want to hear you when you come for me,” he murmured, holding her gaze.

Rey nodded. The look in Ben’s velvet brown eyes made Rey’s stomach flutter. She held his gaze as she arched up. “Fuck, Ben. I’m so close. Please make me come,” she moaned as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Ben growled as he kissed that delicate spot between her neck and shoulder again, grazing his teeth over it. He added a third finger into her wet heat, causing Rey to keen. He pumped them into her, over and over, continuing to rub her clit as he did. He nipped at her neck gently. He could feel how close she was.

Rey’s climax hit her hard. All at once it felt like the spring inside her let loose, and she was vaguely aware she screamed Ben’s name. Everything went dark then came back, sharper than before. She felt her intimate walls clamp down around Ben’s fingers, trying to pull him deeper into her.

Ben rode out Rey’s climax with her, bringing her back down to him. When her breaths turned deep and slow, Ben pulled his fingers from her, marvelling at how slick they were. Looking back into Rey’s eyes, he licked his fingers clean, causing her eyes to widen.

“Next time, I’m going to taste you Rey. I’ll make you come on my tongue,” Ben hummed. She tasted amazing.

Rey could barely focus, so she simply watched Ben as he reached over her to the drawer of his nightstand. On impulse, she grabbed his wrist, stopping him. When he looked at her with one eyebrow raised, she shook her head.

“IUD. Please don’t. I want…” Rey bit her lip. Ben’s pupils dilated further. “I want you to come inside me, Ben. Please.”

“Are you sure?” Ben asked, his voice low and rough. Mine.

Rey nodded, pulling off her underwear.

Ben moaned in appreciation as he settled himself over Rey, reaching down and pushing her legs apart. Rey wrapped them around his waist instinctively as he lowered his hips, his rigid cock pushing at her wet entrance. He heard Rey’s sharp intake of breath as he pushed into her.

“Just relax, Love. Let me control it,” Ben stammered. She was so tight, so warm. “Fuck, you’re amazing.”

Rey reached up and held the side of his face in her hand as he pushed slowly into her until he was buried to the hilt. He held still while he felt her adjust around him until he couldn’t bear it anymore. He ground his hips, setting a slow rhythm. Rey started panting, there was so much of him inside her.

“You take my cock so well, Love,” Ben whispered, praising her. As he began to slowly pump in and out of her.

Rey hummed in response, her hands moving to his back, fingers digging in to tense muscle. She could feel how hard he was trying not to hurt her, to control himself. She felt silly, but it brought tears to her eyes. He cared so much, and it touched her deeply. She moved her hips, matching his movements, encouraging him to thrust into her harder, faster.

It didn’t take much encouragement. Ben had been close for so long; listening to Rey moan and cry out his name had almost done it. And each thrust of his hips brought another breathy sigh from her, encouraging him to pump into her harder and faster until his hips were snapping and her sighs became screams of pleasure.

Ben began to groan, feeling his release getting closer. But he’d be damned if he left her hanging. He reached between them to where they were joined, feeling for her hard bundle of nerves. Rubbing it, he moaned as he felt her walls clench around his hard length, causing him to release inside her. Ben’s head fell to Rey’s shoulder as he thrust gently with each throb, feeling his spend coating her. Rey’s hands gently caressed his back, helping him ride out his own climax.

When his throbbing subsided, he pulled out of her, a hiss escaping his clenched teeth. He collapsed onto his back, panting. Rey curled onto her side, her small hand resting on his chest. She could feel fluid leaking from her. She shifted uncomfortably.

“Do you mind of I, umm, clean up?” Rey asked Ben timidly.

Turning his head, he looked into her bright eyes. He reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“Of course not,” Ben replied. “Bathroom’s just there. There’s washcloths in there too.”

Rey smiled as she left the bed. Ablutions completed, she returned and saw that Ben had gotten under the covers, pulling them to the side for her. She crawled in beside him, curling into his side and resting her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, throwing the covers over her and tucking them in. Rey rested her hand over Ben’s heart, feeling the strong beat beneath her fingers. His other hand came up to rest over hers, holding it tight. Rey felt Ben sighed contentedly, and she smiled. They both were asleep within seconds.

Chapter 8: Warmth

Rey’s eyelids fluttered open as diffused early morning light filtered in through the curtains at the bedroom window. She was lying on her side, facing Ben’s bedroom door. She could see their clothes strewn about the floor. His hand was resting gently on her naked hip. Rey brought her hand up to her mouth, biting down on her knuckle to hide the big silly smile that was spreading across her face. She felt giddy.

Abandoned by her parents, neglected by the uncle forced to take her in, and shunned by other children for one reason or another, Rey had spent most of her life feeling unwanted and alone. The empty feelings still haunted her even though by all accounts she’d put her past behind her, had finally found some measure of happiness. But lying here beside Ben, she felt that empty feeling replaced by something warm. She felt whole, for the first time in her life. And unless she was mistaken, Ben must feeling somewhat similar. This past week, she’d seen the sadness in his eyes replaced by something else. Something that looked just as warm as the feeling inside her.

Rey wiggled back against Ben, surprised to feel something warm and hard pressing against her lower back. Oh. Biting her lower lip, she gently pressed her backside into his hardness. Ben moaned in his sleep and ground his hips into her, the grip on her hip tightening. Rey felt a warm feeling building between her thighs, and she was overcome with the desire to touch him, to see him. She rolled over carefully, pushing Ben gently onto his back. His eyes were struggling to open, and Rey took the opportunity to pull the blankets back. She smiled sheepishly when she saw that he was now fully awake, regarding her with hungry eyes.

“I wanted to see you,” Rey whispered, leaning up on her elbow.

“Hmm,” Ben replied as one hand played with her hair and the other went to grab her other hand. He pulled it to his lower abdomen. “Do you like what you see?”

Rey, unable to muster any cheekiness when Ben was looking at her like he was, said sincerely, “I think you’re beautiful.” She briefly considered that he might think it odd to call a man beautiful, but it seemed to be the only word that applied to him. His broad body bore the marks and scars of a rough and tumble boyhood. His arms were strong, but not grossly muscled. His features were unconventional, but no less attractive to her. His hair was sinfully thick and dark. She even thought his more...sensitive...parts were beautiful, in a way. It fascinated her, watching his rigid cock twitch under her gaze.

Ben smiled at her. “So are you.” He let his hand trail to her breast, where he began to stroke and tug at her nipple, watching it harden at his touch.

Rey sighed with pleasure. “Mmm...Ben...please can I touch you?”

He almost laughed at her, but she asked so sincerely. In reply, he tugged her hand lower to his throbbing dick. He inhaled sharply as she gently stroked his hard length. Rey watched him twitch and throb and grow harder beneath her touch, unbelievably turned on that she was doing this to him. When she wrapped her hand around him, Ben moaned loudly. Rey yelped in surprise when he flipped her onto her back, pinning her to the mattress with his large hands on her hips.

“Did I hurt you?” Rey asked, concerned. She didn’t think she had, but what did she know. Ben’s eyes were so dark.

“Oh no, Love. You touch me so well. But I just remembered something,” Ben replied, a devilish glint in his eye.

“What’s that?” Rey asked breathlessly, her hands resting on either side of her face.

Ben looked down at the beautiful woman beneath him, all warm and glowing and perfect. When he spoke, his voice was low and rough, “I said that next time I’d make you come on my tongue, Rey. And I’m a man of my word.”

***

After a morning spent with Ben enthusiastically keeping his word, among other things, Rey was grateful to share Ben’s shower with him. They had both finished washing and rinsing and were simply standing under the warm spray, holding each other.

“Rey, would you… I mean, I know it’s Sunday and there’s probably other things you want to do today…” Ben stammered, “But would you like to spend the day with Cass and me?”

Ben had no idea where that had come from, what had possessed him to ask her that. Of course she’d be busy. She was a teacher. She had her own life.

Rey tilted her head up, resting her chin on his sternum, a smile on her rosy lips. “There is nothing I’d rather do today.”

Ben felt his heart flip flop from the way she was looking at him. And he felt himself grinning like an idiot when she’d agreed to spend the day with him and Cass.

“What do you normally do on Sundays?” Rey asked as Ben turned the water off.

“Have breakfast with my parents, go to the park, come home with Chinese food for dinner and play either Mario Kart or Dungeons & Dragons,” he replied, handing her a towel. Too late he realized he was essentially asking her to meet his parents, and there was no way he was going to be able to be subtle about how he felt. He had to talk to Cass anyway, and Leia was infamous for eavesdropping. He looked at her, hoping he hadn’t put her off.

“That all sounds wonderful, Ben! But isn’t D&D a bit too complicated for Cass? I mean, I barely get it and I’m 24.” Rey noticed that Ben was looking at her a bit apprehensively. She didn’t mind meeting his parents so soon. She hoped she conveyed that.

“I modify it for her. We don’t really run a campaign or anything. I helped her create her character, and I send her on missions to find unicorns and young metallic dragons and things like that. She has quite the menagerie going. Wait, do you play?!”

Rey laughed at the expression on Ben’s face. “Yeah, a bit. Finn and Poe were really into it in college when I met them. We still play with Jessika and Rose every once and awhile.”

Ben pulled her into his arms and kissed her again, the feeling of finding out she liked something he liked overwhelming him. “We’re making you a character when we get back.”

Rey laughed again. “Alright. Would you mind stopping by my apartment before we go to your parents though? I’d like to grab some clean clothes and my phone charger.”

“Sure thing.”

It wasn’t long before they pulled up beside Ben’s Jetta in Han and Leia’s driveway. Ben could see the curtain in the front window twitch, meaning Cass had been on the lookout for him. His suspicion was confirmed when the front door flew open and Cass rushed toward the car, her arms flung wide. Ben quickly exited the car and ran to her, swooping her up and spinning her around.

Leia was in the doorway, watching them. She did not fail to notice the young woman getting out of the car too. She smiled when she saw Cass squeal at the sight of the young woman. This was obviously someone Cass knew and liked.

Rey came up beside Ben and hugged Cass while Ben held her in a kind of awkward group hug.

“Well well, doesn’t that make a lovely picture!” Leia called out. “Hurry up and get in here before your father finishes the pancakes.”

Ben walked up to his mother, Cass in one arm, Rey beside the other. He bent down and kissed her cheek. “Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, Sweetie. Your friends picked up their kiddos already.” Leia turned to Rey. “And who is this lovely young woman?”

Rey held out her hand, replying, “I’m Rey Johnson, Cass’ teacher.”

“Uh-huh. Just Cass’ teacher?” Smiling at Rey’s blush, Leia took Rey’s hand and shook it firmly before pulling her in for a hug. Over Rey’s shoulder, she mouthed to Ben, “I like her.”

Ben rolled his eyes and herded everyone back into the house. He could hear his father cursing at the bacon in the kitchen. Han made a mean breakfast, but not without swearing a couple times at the bacon for spitting at him.

“I better go help your father finish cooking. You all get settled at the table,” Leia said, still smiling.

“Yeah, in a minute Mom,” Ben replied. He waited until Leia went into the kitchen before he took Cass into the living room, setting her on the floor. He knelt down on one knee to bring himself eye level with her.

“Hi Uncle Ben! Hi Miss Rey!” Cass said, bouncing up and down, looking quickly from one to the other.

Rey was standing apart from them a both, wanting to give them space. “Hi, Cass,” she murmured quietly.

“Cass, I want to ask you something,” Ben said, somewhat seriously.

Cass stopped bouncing and looked at Ben, her head cocked to the side. “Ok,” she said trying to match his serious tone.

Ben smiled, chuckling quietly. “What would you think if Miss Rey spent some time with us today? And maybe some more days.”

Cass looked quickly at Rey, then back to Ben. Leaning forward, Cass whispered in his ear, “Are you friends? Is she nice to you? Do I need to get you ice cream because you’re friends?”

Ben pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. “No, you don’t need to get me ice cream. And yes she’s nice to me.” Ben looked over at Rey and held out his hand as he said softly, “And I think she’s more than my friend, but that’s up to her too, not just me.”

Cass looked at Rey again. “What’s more than friends?”

Rey walked up and took Ben’s outstretched hand. “Partners,” said Ben.

Epilogue: Two Years Later

Cass came up quietly behind her Uncle Ben. He was writing diligently in a notebook he used for D&D. He and Miss Rey met their friends every week to play, which meant Cass got to play with her best friends Marlo and Killian. They usually ended up watching the grownups though, offering very helpful advice, in Cass’ opinion.

Right now though, she was on a mission. Miss Rey had asked her to tell Uncle Ben something. Something important.

It was late, but Cass had had a bad dream and had seen the light on in Miss Rey and Uncle Ben’s room. The door was open, so it was okay to go in. Only Miss Rey was in there, sitting on the edge of the big bed, looking off into the distance. Her hair was messy, and she wore an old rumpled shirt of Uncle Ben’s and some leggings. She looked tired, but happy.

Cass liked having Miss Rey living with them. She made Uncle Ben happy, and she was so nice. Cass clambered up onto the bed beside her. Miss Rey had smiled and pulled her into her lap.

“Hi, Sweetheart. Did you have a bad dream?” Miss Rey had asked.

Cass had actually forgotten about her dream. She always felt better when she saw Miss Rey. “Yeah, but I’m ok now. Did you have a bad dream Miss Rey?”

Rey shook her head. “No, but I have something to ask you. Can you go tell your Uncle Ben something for me?”

And then Miss Rey had told Cass what to tell Uncle Ben. Cass had jumped off the bed and more or less ran to the living room.

“Boo!” she cried at him.

Ben jumped in his chair. “Jeez, Cass! What are you trying to do? Make me fall down?”

Cass giggled. “No. But I have to tell you something. Miss Rey asked me to.”

“Hmm,” Ben murmured. He lifted Cass and plopped her onto his lap. “I have something to tell you too.”

“You first, Uncle Ben,” Cass said. Maybe Uncle Ben already knew what Miss Rey had told her.

“What do you think about calling Miss Rey Aunt Rey instead?” Ben asked quietly, in case Rey was listening from the hallway. He pulled the ring out of his pocket and showed Cass the gold band with the modest diamond.

Cass squeed and hugged him around his neck.

“I take it you’d be ok with that,” Ben said, laughing.

“Yeah!” Cass exclaimed. This was perfect! It wasn’t the same as what Miss Rey, sorry Aunt Rey, had told her.

“What did you want to tell me?”

“Miss Rey, I mean Aunt Rey, wanted me to tell you,” Cass corrected.

“I’m sorry, what did she want you to tell me?”

“That there’s a baby in her tummy,” Cass whispered, afraid to say it too loud. She didn’t think babies could hear through people’s tummies, but just in case, she didn’t want to wake it up.

Ben’s eyes widened. He hugged Cass closer. He knew Rey had opted not to get another IUD at her appointment over a year ago, but the doctor had told her that she probably wouldn’t be able to conceive without assistive technology. Her ovaries were polycystic, which meant she didn’t ovulate regularly, if at all. Her periods were never regular; her cycles often lasted months. They had opted to just kind of see what happened.

“Are you ok, Uncle Ben?” Cass asked, concerned. He was holding her really tight.

“Yeah, everything’s perfect,” Ben replied, choking back tears. Everything really was. He stood and carried Cass to his bedroom. Rey was sitting at the edge of the bed, waiting for him, her hands in her lap, her feet barely reaching the floor. She looked so nervous, a small smile on her face when she saw him approach.

Holding Cass in one arm, he reached out and cupped Rey’s cheek with his other hand, wiping a tear away with his thumb. She leaned into his touch and sighed happily.

Ben deposited Cass into Rey’s lap carefully, before crawling into the bed. He pulled them both to his chest, holding his little family close.

#reylo #reylo fanfic #modern au #reylo modern au #fluff #smut #fluffy smut #all the fluff #like it's a dandelion of fluff #kindergarten teacher rey #single dad ben solo #rey #ben solo #ben x rey #based on a true story

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