#ok it won't be that easy but you get the gist

[spanishskulduggery]

Two questions:

I've noticed that some native speakers online (or when texting) won't use the upside down exclamation point. Is there a reason why?

I've learned that when listing the days of the week, you don't capitalise them, unlike in English. This was easy enough for me, because we also don't capitalise the first letter in the day of the week in Italian. But two of my classmates today, both who are Puerto Rican, said that they do capitalise the first letter in the day of the week. What's up with this? Is it a regional thing?

It's because the ¿ and ¡ are considered officially correct and it makes the most sense in written Spanish. Informal language doesn't often include punctuation because native speakers generally get the gist so it's considered unnecessary and informal. In terms of written Spanish though, it is standard if you're doing anything official or academic. It helps point out what clauses are questions or exclamations; which is specifically helpful for reading out loud and also because there are times when the word order does change depending on whether it's a declarative, interrogative, or exclamatory sentence. But mostly I think it just really helps with reading and reading out loud, it's honestly very considerate. But in text, there's not really a need because it's informal. You can do it if you want, but it's more informal (and incorrect in standard and academic Spanish) not to include it. In an informal setting it's like saying "k" instead of "ok/okay", or not using periods and other proper punctuation

This one I'm not sure about. In general you do not capitalize the first letter for days of the week. I think this might be regional or the influence of the US with English since we do capitalize days of the week. But I'm used to seeing el lunes / los lunes, el martes / los martes... the only time you capitalize it is if it's a special holiday like Domingo de Ramos "Palm Sunday" or Miércoles de Ceniza "Ash Wednesday", or if it's a name/capital like in Santo Domingo. I think the only time I see capital letters for days of the weeks is maybe in a calendar but in general Spanish I don't see it capitalized often.

But if anyone has any experience with #2 let me know. I think it might just be regional

And as far as #1 it's kind of like how if I'm texting sometimes I don't end my sentences with periods. The other person knows that's where my sentence ends so why include it? You can of course use the proper punctuation in texting but I would say it's best to be consistent otherwise you risk sending off the "I am being very formal because I am upset" energy

Anyway, texting is weird and there are whole undercurrents of subsets of inferred language in there it's wild

[just-jordie-things]

I’m honestly trying to find someone to give me some insight / confirmation the whole jjk fandom isn’t like this because I’m genuinely so disheartened.

So I have a friend who lives in Japan I met online who goes to lots of conventions. She told me that gojo has been confirmed straight by the creator Gege in multiple magazines and interviews in Japan. After I was told that I did toms of research and saw proof that was true.

I’m someone who likes to follow canon simply because I like facts and like to be respectful to the authors creation. Obviously he people want to headcanon that’s fine! I just like following canon.

Earlier today I made a theory post about something which I briefly brought up gojo being confirmed straight and sited my sources (it wasn’t even the MAIN point of the theory. It was a part of it but not the main focus)

IMMEDIATELY after , like 10 minutes my inbox was SWARMED. I had people calling me homophobic (when I’m in the community) a piece of shit, I disappointment. I got told to off myself. My favorite fanfiction blog with a BIG following dmed me to delete my account and to shut up.

All because I said Gege confirmed Gojo to be straight in canon with sourced proof.

I really really don’t feel well after this? For one my favorite blog dming me that was upsetting, people telling me to kill myself also upsetting.

I don’t even understand why though?

Like the proof of Gojo being confirmed straight is on Twitter with magazine translation from Japan where Gege said it. It’s been said in more than one interview with Gege.

So why are people so mad about it if it’s canon?

As I said head canons are fine feel free to make them.. but sending death threats to people like me who follow canon is just crazy?

Now I feel like leaving the fandom and tumblr. Like this is crazy.

As someone who follows canon I follow Gojo being a straight man as that is what Gege has confirmed in multiple interviews.

Gojo is straight in canon that’s what Gege confirmed that’s what I follow.

But why am I getting death threats for that? What’s wrong with canon?

I just don’t get it and honestly it’s really just made me not like this fandom and I wish someone would explain what I did wrong by following canon and linking sources to prove it- I’m just confused

for starters, i am so sorry for the hate that you received. it is never ok to send someone death threats/tell them to kys. it's ok to have differing opinions, it's ok to debate and argue (granted ofc you're allowed to delete/ignore messages if you want, you're not obligated to explain yourself to anyone), but if you can't do that respectfully then you must be too young to be on this app. period.

i'm sorry you had that experience. everyone's allowed their own opinions. whether it involves headcanoning or following canon, everyone's entitled to feel the way they want. at the end of the day, they're fictional characters. personally i love satosugu. i think their story is so angsty and complicated and fascinating. do i care if someone has a differing ship? no. ofc i don't. it's a fictional character. i go about my day like an adult.

obviously i'm getting one half of the situation here so i won't speak to why people were calling you homophobic, if you were just providing sources i don't see the big deal. but (i am also a member of the alphabet soup) i know how it feels to be questioned and prodded at for my (a real life person!) sexuality, and my instinct is to get defensive to protect myself and my peace. i might be making leaps there... i'm just trying to relate that in real life, it's easy for people to spread homophobic rhetoric without realizing that's what they're doing.. you know? (ie: i'm bi and my partner and i are het presenting. i get an earful from toxic family all the time. 'are you sure?' 'if you marry him, aren't you straight now?' etc etc. i'm sure you get the gist)

i'm not trying to say that's what you were doing. again, i've only got half of the picture here.

and again, you should not have received the treatment you did. it was immature and cruel.

i hope i articulated this well. feel free to ask any questions if i confused you. <3

[tiny-tigers]

✨ He's there with Dylan Hartley tonight I think so I'm sure there will be even more content than last week! *people love an ex England captain*

I'm hoping for a repeat of last autumn...!! 🍁😂🙈 i.e England win by a mile and Frederick gets man of the match again 😂😆👌🏻

Could happen too - Japan haven't looked at their best recently 😭😬

P.S Norfolk Charlie is over in France! *friendship contenttt* 😂

Oh I wish you that ♡ good content and happy Fred sorry I jinxed your post to put some thoughts out.

I had a really painful convo with my bestie yesterday and it reminded me what you said to me about jack being crutches for me..

I want to thank you because you help me daily having a more balanced way of seeing things lately...

The gist of the conversation was that I lost myself a bit into rugby and him, rugby always been a safe place but as I was starting to put him before me or my own needs she needed a bit to open my eyes. My problem being for so long I wasn't seen or acknowledged and recognized in my worth. I wasn't doing that for myself either dismissing my qualities and own value. So when Jack messaged me 2 years ago I think it started something in me and I did hold it and him as much as I could because I felt seen and visible around him or speaking about rugby here. Now it is starting to feel different for the first time and to be how it always should have been , I have more stuffs to be proud of and people loves my work and it is very hard for me to let go and put a distance between me and Jack's world including rugby and people I have met through it.

I am starting to realize I hadn't very much any limits and was breaking my own heart in the process with how much I care and feel but it is not how it should be. It cames from a place from love , I am no creepy stalker and always wanted the best for everyone but was forgetting me and lately rugby gave me less than before. Less enjoyement compared to all the stress and pressure I put myself under with the page / here / the fomo of content / him being good / me being not forgotten...

It is too much, I don't even know why I speak to you about it but since I received as much as good stuffs I received hate / stress I think it was time for me to talk about it because detachement won't happen quickly but if you all are ok to help me to do it that would be lovely.

At the end of the day I know things about him and he knows glimpse about Me. We recognize each others. I also know things no one else know about him but I will never really know the real him. That is important not to Forget.

I am not sick or in depression, I was in a dark place before him and he became my sun. I was turning around him but he blinded me a bit. I think I also recognized in him something in me with the way he cares so much about things and people so it didn't helped me being illuminated by him.

Anyways all that to say I am in a transition phase lately so sometimes I am a bit moody and complain but I need to readjust. To see more in life than only Jack. To let go and detach. It isn't easy or simple as he was for so long the only way for me to exist and be happy. I need to learn again how to walk and you are very much helping me so thank you. Crying a bit while writing it but eh :)

[digitalgate02]

10 DAISUKE CHARMING POINTS!!

10 • He's Funny

He's very funny, ok. I love all his Daisuke noises (thank you Kiuchi-san😭🥰💖) that i'm still happy his new VA (Katayama) managed to get the gist of Daisuke's personality. He's loud and makes a ton of funny pitch noises when angry, when disappointed, when happy. And it's so fun to watch any scene with him. And let's not forget his funny facial expressions too!

9 • He's cute

Daisuke is so cute, his smile has the power of ten sunny days with a sweet breeze and it's a warm and comfortable day. His laugh is so adorable too. He has a cute face as well! Daisuke is so adorable, it's like a tiny fluffy puppy. It wants your attention and you can't resist to his cuteness 🥰

8 • He's humble and selfless

Daisuke has this tendency to not realize how cool he is. Since he's always asking for validation, he's pretty much selfless, polite and humble towards people. I wish he could realize he's already cool and amazing… Well, maybe someday he will!

7 • He has a good control over his negative feelings

Perhaps because he has the tendency to express all his emotions at its fullest, he's able to control his fear and negative feelings better than the others in his group. Also, being able to help others about this subject.

6 • He's caring and sometimes soft

Daisuke is rough around the edges, but he has some soft heart towards people he likes. He's pretty much softer with Chibimon than you can imagine. He's nice and gets concerned about the others' well-being to the point of preventing others from doing things alone or risk their lives in something dangerous.

5 • He's supportive of his friends

He will place a hand on your shoulder and scream motivational wise advice on you. He will definitely hear you out if you're venting. He will cheer for you when you're trying your best. He's very supportive of his friends!

4 • He's simple to understand

He's being simple minded means he's not thinking too hard on stuff, having a clear mind on what he wants and what he has to do, as he's very straightforward. He won't be overthinking and panicking on futile things. Also, he does not use overly complex words to speak, being very very easy to understand.

3 • He works hard, and prefers to work together with others

There's no "I" in "Team". Daisuke works hard and encourages others too, but he prefer to work together and reach their goals. When he's not in battle, he's preferring to play soccer with his friends and soccer teammates because it's fun.

2 • He can cook and speak in English fluently

Daisuke has given some hints through 02 about him being good at English. He reveals he wants to open his own ramen shop in New York, and starts working on those skills after his friends accidentally give him tips on how he could achieve this dream. I want to eat Daisuke's ramen now 😭🍜

1 • His outfits are stylish

YES, THE FLAME STAMPED JACKET I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Also his outfits in 02 & Kizuna materials are wonderful. His forte are the stripes, vests and hoodies in his wardrobe. The iconic orange sneakers too. His jackets are pretty stylish, and the sunglasses are a perfect match for Daisuke's spirit. Ah, let's not forget the iconic goggles which carries the bonds between Taichi and him 🤭👌😊💙🧡

[gentleoverdrive]

(224/?) A new goddess emerged from the mist, she took the blade from my wrist!

Right, let's talk about Hyouka...

(this is how much of the series looks in general, because the Kyoto Animation peeps extensively plan their production cycles) ---- Hyouka is a series based on (and taking the name of) the first of a series of mystery novels called "Classic Literature Club", written by one Honobu Yonezawa, that takes place in the sleepy fictional town of Kamiyama (which is the city of Takayama in all but name). While it might easy to say "If you've played Persona 4, you get the gist of it", it's kinda not like that at all. For one, there is no murderer on the loose. What's there, though? A lot of small mysteries to uncover. ---- Whenever I see a new anime with the same old "Middle School or High School" setting, I tend to be on my guard. I've been through the same ol' song and dance too long as an anime watcher, so it's easy to want to keep your distance. Hyouka, however, manages to use the high-school setting to inject the mysteries with a surprising amount of endearing investment, especially given the "low stakes" of almost all of them. ---- The series has the stable of usual suspects when it comes to the cast for a mystery series that borrows a lot from the old canon, we have our "Sherlock Holmes"...

(yes, his social skills are as terrible as the OG; how can you tell?) ---- ...one Houtarou Oreki, a disaffected young man that lives by a very simple creed: "If I don't have to do it, I won't. If I have to do it, I'll make it quick." Unfortunately for our lazy anti-social boy du jour, he has his own Mycroft Holmes in the form of his older sister, who cajoles him into joining her old stomping grounds, the Classic Literature club, and when he gets there to submit his application, lo and behold...

(this is her at her most physically threatening) ---- ...he meets one Eru Chitanda, a girl with a kind personality, many incredible talents, and the curiosity of someone around half her age. She's like the one client that will always come back to ask for help. Rounding out the main cast we have our John Watson.

(the faces this posh boy pulls absolutely make this show) ---- ...the foppish Satoshi Fukube, a boy looking for some exciting shenanigans and the predisposition for facilitating the involvement of the club in said shenanigans if Miss Chitanda up there isn't able to budge our lazyboi out of his self-imposed stupor. And whenever there's a Holmes and a Watson, a Lestrade is not far be--wait...

(I'm mostly playing this up for the post; she's awesome too) ---- ...really? Ok, well there you have it: Rounding out the main quartet, this tiny firecracker here is Mayaka Ibara, a hot-blooded gal that also brings to the club's attention all sorts of mysteries and curiosities that they can sink their collective teeth into. ---- And while I mentioned a bunch of names and how they serve as spins of sorts on old characters from the Sherlockian canon, the series itself is a weird mix between the aforementioned low-stakes mysteries and the sort of slice-of-life occurrences that could liven things up for high-school aged kids in what has historically been one of (if not the one) the most isolated places in the Japanese mainland. ---- Quiz Contests involving a huge chunk of the school?

You got it! ---- Eating toast with jam on a lazy weekend morning, bedhead included?

You betcha! ---- Angry emotional outbursts for reasons that I highly recommend you to go watch the show and not make yourself a disservice?

Abso-fucking-lutely. ---- The series goes out of its way to treat the audience with enough respect that the solutions to the mysteries never feel insulting, the framework necessitating the stakes to remain "low" also ends up adding a lot of strength you wouldn't expect, and the emotional scenes will get your old ticker wondering what's going on. ---- All of this courtesy of Kyoto Animation at the absolute top of their game in all aspects, with scripts adapted to near-perfection and the direction always leaving that sensation of just wanting to see a little more. I amply recommend it! See ya' later, alligator!

[sasquapossum]

I'm hating Big Tech a lot right now.

Threads won't stop bugging me about "suspicious activity" and forcing me to re-verify my account. Every time I switch devices. Every time I refresh on the web app. And now it doesn't even work because they never actually send the promised SMS message. Then again, I'm not missing much. Apparently muting all the vapid "influencer" types has put me into a mode where it won't recommend anything at all except people I already follow, and most of those have already dropped off. It's a wasteland. Fuck you, Meta.

Google Search has been useless for a while. Google Maps fucked up uncountable times during my two decent road trips. They're now admitting that they let their ML bullshit scrape your emails (which they were almost certainly doing before anyway). Fuck you, Google.

Amazon is going to put ads in Prime Video, unless you pay another $3/month. Fuck you, Amazon.

Apple's account recovery is absolute crap if you're not on an Apple device. I just want to watch some episodes of Silo, but it will take a week for account recovery to complete, Ridiculous. Nominally this is to prevent hostile account takeovers, but the way they're doing it (e.g. sending the notification to the same email I already used to initiate recovery) has absolutely no such effect. If they really cared, they wouldn't make such takeovers ridiculously easy if you do have someone else's Apple device. Fuck you, Apple.

These are all examples of what Cory Doctorow has called "enshittification"

I highly recommend reading that. The gist is that enshittification proceeds in three stages: do things to benefit users (so you get some), screw them so you can benefit advertisers (ditto), screw them so you can benefit only yourself. All of these companies are in Stage Three now. (OK, one could argue that Apple skipped stage two and thus doesn't fit the model, but that doesn't change much.) These companies are, quite simply, all run by assholes.

[ezdotjpg]

If this is ok to ask do you have any tips on coloring art? Yours is amazing :)

thank u!! it's always okay to ask me abt art stuff!! I'm gonna assume that by coloring u also mean shading and rendering too. i have a post here explaining some color theory stuff i utilize a lot, so I won't talk abt that on this post. This, uh, got long......

first thing i’ll say is, if you struggle with color, don’t get too down on yourself. it's a deceptively complicated subject. It's easy to look at other people's art and get discouraged by how effortless they make it look, but chances are there was a considerable amount of effort involved. I still struggle with color, constantly. That being said, some stuff that helps me out is:

1. check your value structure. if your piece is turning out muddy or lacking depth, sometimes the problem is not necessarily the hues you've chosen, but that there's not enough contrast between lights and darks. I'll usually check this by throwing a black and white gradient map over everything just to see (this isn't a perfectly accurate way to do it, but it at least gives me the gist).

I was taught to thumbnail in 3 tones- black, white and gray. If your background is black, your midground should be gray and your foreground should be white. or any combination thereof, but the point is that they should contrast. These are general ballparks of what range of values each area should stick to. Here are some examples of ones I did in school (these have a bit more than 3 tones bc I do not follow rules lol):

I don't always thumbnail, but I do keep this concept in mind as I color. Basically, it's about making sure the eye knows where to go. In the case of that link piece, the general gist is, where the sunlight hits is the lightest value, shadows are the darkest, and link is mostly midtones where highlights don't hit. It keeps the focus on link and the flower. Even this piece is a little imperfect with the way the boots start to blend into the tree and dirt bc they're too close in both hue and value, but still.

Obviously, it's not value alone that makes the image work- Link's tunic is maybe a bit too dark in the black and white, blending with the tree, but it stands out in the color version bc it's so violently blue.

2. optical mixing!! basically, it's the way that adjacent colors blend to create a new color. It has a lot of uses in painting, but one of the best examples I can give is this Wayne Thiebaud painting:

Look closely at the edges. Look at the hints of bright red, magenta, blue, and green peeking through where they don't necessarily belong. you don't notice them at first, right? they blend in and aid in the overall light quality of the piece. they add life. they tie the palette together. that's one use of optical mixing! Wayne Thiebaud's paintings in general are great to study for this.

For a less perfect example, here are some places in my own painting where I use this. Look at where I place bright reds, blues, desaturated greens, etc. You can also achieve this effect by setting your background layer to a bright color, and letting it peek through (like an underpainting!) 

Optical mixing is also related to the concept of avoiding overblending. I struggled with this so much lol. It's okay for your shadows and highlights to have hard edges. it's desirable even, because cutting them in the correct shapes can go a long way in describing form. All of this, of course, is a stylistic choice i prefer, and you can apply it however you like

4. make limited, intentional color choices. You don't always need the entire color wheel. Like i've said before, an apple doesn't have to actually be colored true red to read as red. Decide what tone and mood you want your piece to have, pick a general range of colors that reflect that, and try to stay within that range.

Like, this is a silly example lmao, but in this piece, everything is between yellow, orange, and blue-green. saturation and value varies, but the hues generally stay in that ballpark. it keeps things harmonious! if you color picked say, wild's skin, it'd be way too aggressively orange to be a real skin tone. but it works in context, because there's not a more accurate true-to-life color in the palette to compare it to. your brain just accepts it. This lends to the sense of warmth in the piece.

5. In digital painting, don't be ashamed of using gradient maps, overlays, etc. All of the above info can help minimize a reliance on them, but they're still helpful tools! I use them all the time for final tweaks and lighting effects. my personal secret is grabbing a bright yellow or orange, getting a big giant airbrush brush, setting the layer to add/glow (i use clip studio, not sure the photoshop equivalent) and just very lightly painting it in the direction the light is coming from. i'll turn down the opacity if its still too strong even with a light hand, because the add/glow layer can just shoot things to overexposed white really quick. It creates a nice glowy lighting effect :-)

6. this is gonna sound like total garbage, but, just, look at stuff. like, seriously, put on your artist hat in every day life and observe things. take careful note in your mind of what color shadows are, what shape highlights take on different materials, how objects change color when lighting conditions change. do some studies, from real life or from photograph. studies don't have to be perfect- just try to block in basic shapes and colors, and zoom out to check whether it's creating the right overall effect.

hope some of this is helpful!!

[terubakudan]

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Nagata Kabi - Book Review and Impressions

(light reflection) Perfect :D Hoping Tumblr doesn't flag me for this xD

Ok, I'm going to start this off with 'this is probably the first and only book review I'm going to do' xD Because I rarely do read books now, and just as rarely buy them. Also, I would have preferred to buy the English version but alas they only had the Chinese version in stock ^^"

Stumbling upon this on the Internet, I was immediately compelled to buy this, as if I knew I would love it and that Nagata's story would resonate with me.

【Short Version】 I can't recommend this book enough, it doesn't matter what sexuality you are or from what culture are you. Nagata makes sure to tell an honest and 'naked' (without embellishments) portrait of her own personal experiences. How she herself is a college drop-out (having only graduated from high school), pushed herself to live/work while struggling with depression and eating disorders, not being sure of what she wants and feeling that she doesn't 'deserve' things, realizing her own sexuality in that she likes girls, and just not feeling 'good enough'...all through her cutesy and unassuming art style.

I will say again though, cutesy art style aside, the book deals with some very heavy topics. Nagata is very honest and doesn't shy away from the gritty details, and I admire her all the more for doing so. Many yaoi and yuri comics often portray an unrealistic and fetishistic view of the LGBTQ+ community whereas Nagata's story is much more grounded and sincere. This is not an easy read, but it's not an overly depressive one either. Nagata literally struggled for years with her mental health, but ultimately found light on the other side. Not mainly through the help of others, but through her own choice to forgive and love herself.

5/5⭐ Definitely recommend and would read again. And if I could, I'd give Nagata a big hug and a heartfelt 'thank you' for sharing her story.

【Long Version】 While it's written primarily from an Asian (particularly Japanese) perspective, Nagata's experiences are ones that should resonate with anyone who has been through the same or similar things, regardless of one's personal background. And I myself, while being fortunate enough to not have gone through eating disorders or self harm, am no exception.

I grew up in an Asian (Taiwanese/Chinese Filipino) household, while my parents weren't Tiger Parents (no offense but fuck Amy Chua for thinking that's a proper way of raising your children), they still had certain expectations on their children: to find a good husband/wife, have a good education, have a 'stable' career, etc. And while I love my parents very much, I'd be lying if I said there weren't any times where I felt they were smothering me, there weren't any times where they kept on nagging and bugging me for very trivial details. My biggest pet peeve: guilt-tripping me just for wanting to spend time alone.

"For me, my parents' opinion of me is absolute." (NOTE: While I won't be providing exact translations of the excerpts I used here, I'll do my best to summarize the gist of them.)

At the same time, I cared very much about their opinion of me. I made it a point to do well in school, to do things according to their wishes, and just like Nagata, I didn't know what I wanted. This even extended to caring about others' opinion of me, more than my own. In my freshman year of college, I 'went along' with being friends with someone, who while was nice to me, turned out to be a manipulative bitch skilled in passive-aggressiveness xD Being half-Taiwanese/half-Filipino, it was hard to fit in since people always treated me differently, it didn't occur to me I could be choosy with friends, I thought as long as they were 'nice' to me, that would do.

Asian culture is largely a collective one, where we define ourselves by our relationships with others, compared with Western culture (primarily America, I'll be using America as a reference point) where individualism is absolute, where you define yourself as you like. In Asia, it's also normal for children to still live in the same house as their parents well into adulthood, compared with Americans who are expected to move out the house once they finish high school or start college, and they're quite literally 'on their own', having to pay their own tuition, rent, etc. Where I live (Taiwan), it's normal for adults to continue relying on their parents financially well until college. Nagata for instance, while saying her parents really make her feel so pressured, is grateful that she still had a home to stay in (and she's 28!).

If you ask me though, neither a collectivist culture or an individualist culture is absolutely good nor bad. Each have their own pros and cons, and both Asian culture and Western culture could learn a thing or two from each other.

After going through quite a few job applications, one of the interviewers tells her "Ganbatte!" (You can do it!) after Nagata tells her what she really wants is to be a manga artist.

And sometimes that's all we need really, a small gesture or kind remark can do wonders. Even if there's no base or reason for it, it's something worth believing in.

I often have doubts if I'm doing what I really want, if I chose the right major for college, if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm 'good enough'. I didn't grow up with much self-esteem as a kid, and often derived my value from others. But even at my lowest times, a 'you're doing ok' was very reassuring to me, be it from family, strangers, or people I care about. Sometimes that's exactly what we need, it may be small but it could be the difference between continuing to wallow in depression or re-evaluating and choosing to be better to oneself.

I find it's really important to know, that however alone you may feel sometimes, there are other people out there going through the exact same thing. It's something universal, and while a lot of things are really unfair in life, each person has their own lot or burden to deal with. I have a Taiwanese friend who, while being more financially well-off than me, has terrible parents. And I mean parents who are quite so literally toxic, unsupportive of her, and would outright say the worst things to their own daughter.

How depression and anxiety can feel sometimes, we can literally feel like it's impossible to breathe and be in a state of disconnection from the world.

"The sounds that invaded my ears occupied my empty brain, making me unable to think at all."

If you only did what your parents asked you to do, wouldn't days like those be very painful? In the end, only you can understand what you really want.

Nagata's art style is one I would describe as simple, cute, and effective. I personally think had her story been drawn in a more serious style, it would have been even harder to read, much less finish. It's also a choice that has artistic appeal to me, serious subject matter juxtaposed with a 'kawaii' art style.

Nagata also depicts very well her mental state and thoughts throughout her struggle and journey to self-actualization. Depression is a really tough thing to deal with, and sometimes we don't even realize that we have it or if we do, refuse to acknowledge it. In Asian cultures especially, mental health has always been something of a taboo subject and there is a very heavy social stigma associated with it. Nagata herself even said that her parents seemingly refused to acknowledge that their daughter's mental health was in a state of distress. In Japan, there is a concept called gaman (我慢), which is described as 'enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity', and while it is portrayed as an ideal virtue that inspires perseverance, it can be a source of heavy pressure for others. Gaman also means that you are expected to suppress whatever emotion or negative feelings you have, often for the sake of others and no matter how tough the situation becomes for you. And while I agree that through gaman you can become more selfless for others, it shouldn't have to come at the expense of your own well-being.

I was quite fortunate to have grown up in a more liberal Asian household, but even when it came to mental health, our family also adopted the same kind of attitude towards it, by carrying on as if nothing was wrong, or just not talking about it. And to be honest, there were numerous times I wished we had been more open about what was bothering ourselves at that time. Talking and being open about your feelings is not a 'weakness' but something incredibly brave to do, and it's my wish for that to slowly become more acceptable in Asian cultures, which I know is kind of a stretch, but it doesn't hurt to hope.

Nagata makes the decision to clean herself up, by taking a bath everyday, habitually exercising, and no longer wearing worn-out clothes.

Depression especially can be a bitch. It deprives you even of your physiological needs, like your need for food. Nagata had to struggle with that on top of eating disorders for a long ten years. She ate so little and even felt that she didn't 'deserve' to eat, and at one point, anorexia became hyperphagia, and she would feel so guilty for eating almost expired/expired food. Things that would otherwise be simple to do also end up becoming difficult/impossible to do, like taking care of your personal hygiene, getting up from bed, doing simple tasks etc.

Thankfully, after Nagata realizes that she never truly 'valued herself', she starts to turn over a new leaf. Even just starting with cleaning herself up, she takes this as a form of 'valuing oneself' and her mood starts to improve, which her family also points out. In the end, taking care of yourself is not a selfish thing to do, it can even make you a better person who is there for others.

Nagata meets up with the female escort she hired, as a means to experience human sexuality, which she had always repressed her curiosity for and treated as a taboo subject. (NOTE: And I'm glad that she met a really nice girl for her first time too!)

Sex and sexuality is also a subject that I feel is hard to talk about sometimes, which I think also owes itself to most Asian cultures being relatively conservative about it. I myself have only recently identified as bisexual, which I attribute to internalized homophobia, not wanting to admit I was into girls too. And to be honest, 'coming out' is something I'm still uncomfortable about, because I don't want to risk my relationship with my family and it's still something I would choose to be selective about with colleagues and friends. I'm grateful though that as crazy the Internet can be sometimes, it can be quite accepting and tolerant towards things that we wouldn't otherwise discuss with even the closest people in our circle. Nagata's memoir ended up capturing the hearts of many readers ever since she first published it on Pixiv.

Exploring your sexuality doesn't have to be scary, it should be something exciting and liberating. Nagata decided to take matters into her own hands, and while the days leading up to the encounter made her really nervous and she even considered not going through with it at all, she willed herself to continue, because she wanted to do this for herself, it would be pointless if she gave up after coming so far in her decision to value herself.

And it's these series of actions that she decided to do that ultimately led to her life turning out for the better, it gave her the courage to do what she always wanted: to be a manga artist, which lead to the publishing of this autobiographical memoir, something she wanted to create that would 'make people want to buy this book' and from her own preference for reading stories that 'speak of secrets people wouldn't want to tell others'.

Nagata mentions what she calls 'honey': something that varies from person to person. It could be your reason for living, that thing that drives/pushes you, or even your sense of belonging. It may not be something permanent, but you can always find yourself a new one. (she mentions the last time she had her 'honey' was during her high school days, and while she has grown apart from the friends she made, she has found her new 'honey' in the form of being a full-time manga artist.)

Nagata stumbles and trips a lot on her way to being a better version of herself, but who doesn't? She admits to things not necessarily being smooth, but at least she's doing better than before. And it's that decision to at least try that counts. We don't have to be perfect, we're all human after all.

TL;DR My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness is a honest, down-to-earth, and ultimately hopeful memoir about the struggles of mental health and learning about one's sexuality. It's an amazing book, and very much worth the buy.

A big thank you if you read through all of this too. I know it's a mess and writing isn't exactly my strong point, but hopefully I've convinced some people out there to give this book a read! Please feel free to share your thoughts and I'd appreciate it very much too if you reblog/like this post.

[callsignbaphomet]

Low Level Builds

Kay so like I said in a previous post everybody and their dogs focus attention to endgame builds and that's ok but I never really notice people doing so for low rank and low high rank players and that kinda sucks. For a lot of us MHW was our first MonHun game and a lot of us learned things the hard way and by ourselves and good ol' Google. It wasn't fun. Like this game frustrated the fuck outta me in the beginning and I was coming from Bloodborne and Dark Souls 3. I had an easier time in those two, dammit! >:(

Anyway so with all this hype from the upcoming expansion I noticed a lot of new players and I mean a lot of very, very, new players picking up the game and I'm overjoyed to see so many new faces but info for very new players is scarce so I'm hoping to change that by helping out as much as I can. At least I hope this will prove useful. So here's the first build!

For really, really low levels we'll only focus on armor pieces that'll benefit you as much as possible. For now armors...kinda suck...big time…so we'll just focus on keeping you alive with skills and defense. As a side note we're gonna be using pieces of different armors so trust me when I say your ass is gonna probably look ridiculous, fugly and questionable. You can play fashion hunter later. Or if you're playing during a festival (like the mega festival that's currently running!) and you collect enough tickets you can totally go and trade them for layered armor sets, that way you don't look like an affront to Dalamadur.

Okay, so here's our first one:

Head: Bone Helm

Chest: Bone Mail

Arms: Kadachi Vambraces

Waist: Kulu Coil

Legs: Kulu Greaves

Total defense without upgrading brings this set to 49. It costs 1,300z to craft all 5 pieces. The elemental statuses are as follows:

Vs. Fire 4

Vs. Water -9

Vs. Thunder 7

Vs. Ice 2

Vs. Dragon 4

Now onto the skills!

It has an Attack level 1, Health Boost level 1, Critical Eye level 1, Evade Extender level 1 and Item Prolonger level 1. Why?

At this stage even a level 1 attack and crit. eye level 1 will go a long way especially if you go out there and gather God Bugs and Might Seeds to create Demon Powder which ups your attack levels. This then brings us to item prolonger which will make your demon powder last longer. Without that skill demon powder lasts exactly 3 minutes. Yes, I tested this myself. Health boost? Yeah, you'll need it. The canteen won't offer much in the way of health or stamina until you reach High Rank where you get a whopping 50 health and stamina. Yes, there are items to get your health and stamina to 150 but those are expensive to make and there are a lot of quests. So a level 1 health boost will add 15 extra health points on top of whatever amount you got from the canteen and that's a very good thing. And last on this list is evade extender. The gist of it is you get a slight extension on your evasion distance and that can mean the difference between avoiding a hard hitting attack that'll cart you or getting slapped hard in the face by an attack that'll cart you.

As a reminder please keep upgrading your armor with armor spheres. They're easy to come by and there is ZERO benefit to not upgrading it. If you feel like the monster's attacks are doing too much damage then it's time to upgrade.

*sidenote: we'll only focus on non festival armor sets. In my complete and honest opinion only craft HR festival armors. Don't waste your precious resources on LR festival armor because they will become obsolete really fast.