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braunbakery · 4 months

Note

oohh can it be like ‘are we still friends?’ a modern au? that’s one of my favs ❤️

don't delete the kisses

☞ jean kirstein x fem reader [ one-shot word count: 4.2k]

☞ sfw, angst with fluff at the end i promiseeeee, modern college au

☞ plot: 'rewriting old excuses, delete the kisses at the end' - even after you break up - jean kirstein seems to occupy a lot more space in your head than you'd care to admit.

☞ inspired by don't delete the kisses - wolf alice

☞ don't delete the kisses

when you and jean first broke up it was more so a scramble to make sure everything was okay for everybody around you. that everything could resolve to being as close to normal as before without anyone feeling in anyway inconvenienced, awkward, or disappointed due to the rift now between the two of you.

at least, that was what it was like for you.

of course people wanted to make sure you were okay, they were your friends and they cared about you. but they were both of your friends, and despite how much everyone wanted to pretend that that made no difference, it made it all the more difficult to even imagine talking about how you felt. (how you actually felt – which was more than disappointed or frustrated or a little upset – as you had been basically rattling off like a mantra to whoever asked.)

so you adapted.

you made friends outside of this mutual friend group, you adopted new hobbies, you had a means of escape when you no longer wanted to watch everyone laugh over jean’s antics like he was such a breath of joy. when you felt this bitter pessimism sink in at the wrong time, you adapted.

because it definitely wasn’t a dramatic break up. it was perfectly amicable.

(“i’m so sorry,” jean practically sobs into your shoulder as you both sit in his dark car, shrouded by the trees outside and only accompanied by crickets and the occasional distant car horn.

“it’s okay, it’s okay,” you’re repeating over and over, swallowing your own tears, “i’ll be fine.”

“i just can’t do it–” jean hiccups and slightly leans back to hold your face in his palms and nudge his nose against yours, “ i don’t know why...i just can’t. and i’m trying, i swear.”

“i believe you,” you whisper, grasping onto his shirt, “i know you are.”

“i- i’ve never felt this way about anyone else. i’m just not ready.”

you can’t bring yourself to say anything back to that. you don’t want him to see you break and you don’t know if it’s because you don’t want him to tear himself apart with the guilt of what he’s doing to you or from some twisted sense of pride – some desire to make sure he doesn’t think he has as much of an effect on you as he really does.

it seems worse that he can tearfully speak of how much he feels for you yet he’s still unable to actually be with you.

you know that the truth is you probably won’t be fine. that in your heart, in your soul, you would’ve stayed with him for as long as possible. there was no thought in your head of when this would potentially end, no plan in the future that didn’t somehow automatically account for him.

this obviously wasn’t the case for him.

he hugs you tighter than he ever has before and you feel like your heart is about to lurch out of your body and try batter its way into his. why must it be that when you are completely and utterly committed to him, he is hindered by some unexplainable force in his mind to do the same for you? why can’t it be another girl? why can’t it be that he’s moving away? why does it have to be just…him?

“i’m sorry,” he says a final time after he drives you to your doorstep. he holds your hand and gazes at you one last time and you can’t help but offer him a smile to try ease his pain. it is too difficult for you to feel in anyway betrayed, at least in this moment, because you are too busy thinking of how he feels. you want to hold him for the rest of the night as he sobs and sobs about hurting you.

you feel utterly pathetic.

that night, when you are finally in your bed, you let the first feeling that isn’t in some way catering to him through. it is the sensation of your heart caving in. )

eventually it gets easier. the concerned glances go from sparse to none and you follow almost a routine. when you pass each other on campus it’s a friendly smile, when you’re seated next to each other you act as if it is anyone else, and when you’re at the same parties and he kisses someone you turn away and hold your breath and hope no one can tell.

you pretend that it was never you on the receiving end, that it was never you laughing away with him or swaying to whatever stupid song is playing, or holding his hand as you weave through the crowd, or occupying one single corner of the room for the majority of the night or–

you just pretend.

and when the group brings up dates jean is going on that you had no idea about, you do that very thing. you sit and you nod and when he catches your gaze as the boys are practically squawking over stupid jokes about jean and how he is somehow going to mess it up, you rip your eyes away and laugh along.

when sasha and mikasa ask how you feel about it, you pretend it makes perfect sense that he’d be going on dates. that it isn’t so utterly confusing, that you aren’t going to lay awake at night wondering why he couldn’t be with you – why he wasn’t ready for you – but he is ready to entertain the idea of someone else. you laugh and you say you wish him luck.

luck is what friends wish each other.

and when you kiss someone yourself, you bury the darkest feeling of hoping he’d see and feel a pang – feel anything more than the baseline friendliness you’ve both resorted to having for each other. that you’ve agreed to only have for each other.

(“fuck, sorry!” jean exclaims before he even realises that the person he’s just walked into and spilled half of his beer on is you.

“shit,” the sticky liquid is soaking through your shirt and is currently trailing its way down your body. you look up at him and you hate that you can tell the redness lightly painted on his cheeks is more so from his alcohol buzz and less from the embarrassment of spilling his drink down a girls shirt.

because it’s you. why would he be embarrassed around you? he knows–

he knew you inside and out.

“i didn’t see you, i swear,” he says, but the genuineness of his apology is given away by the cheeky smile adorning his face, “suits you though.”

“shut up, jean,” you quickly remark, taking off your jacket and trying to pat yourself dry.

“here,” and jean is suddenly taking off the plaid shirt he has thrown on top of his t-shirt and using it to pat you down. or more so using it for his sad attempt at helping.

“i don’t think that’s really doing anything, jean.”

“no, no. trust me,” he quickly interjects, and you can’t help but mirror the stupid smile he has on his face.

“jean, it’s fine. i’ll just get a paper tow– ”you attempt to side step him, but he’s shoved in front of you, still pushing his shirt to your top. but this time he’s a lot closer.

this time if you just reached up to your tip toes, you could brush your nose against his. and you’re suddenly hyperaware of your proximity and how there is no one else around you and how the blaring music of whatever party your group all decided to go to tonight is all but muffled in this kitchen.

jean’s eyes travel up from the stain on your top to you and you feel like you’re frozen in place. it’s been months since you broke up – a year maybe. you’ve both watched each other kiss other people, you’ve listened to him recount those stupid dates and pretend you don’t harbour some kind of bitter resentment towards him for it.

but right now it seems like no time at all has passed.

it seems like only yesterday you were leaning into each other, just like you are now. it seems like only yesterday jean’s hand slowly but instinctively went up to the side of your neck, like it is now. you’ve never realised how easy it is to fall into old habits.

“jean?” you mutter faintly, and he looks down at your lips mouthing his name and you swear you think your heart is going to stop. his eyes flick back up to you and you can see yourself through them.

“yeah?” he mindlessly responds, “are you okay?”

are you? you could kiss him now. you could let him kiss you now. just for a moment. and tomorrow you’d make yourself forget, tomorrow you’d pretend it was one big blip – something just between you and him.

when you nod your head at his question his hand slides up into the hair at your nape and it feels so familiar, so comfortable, that it is so easy to forget you have not been this close to jean in almost a year. you have not spent this much time alone with jean in almost a year. you have not heard him not speak to you in the same transactional tone you’d speak to a shop assistant with in almost a year.

“i –”

the door to the kitchen is opening behind you and you’re both practically jumping away from each other, hearts beating so fast against your chests and eyes wide and worried. jean watches whoever’s interrupted whatever weird moment you were having rummage through the cupboards and looks back at you.

“i’ll see you–” you start.

“later.” he instinctively finishes off for you, before pausing for a moment and making his way around you and back out into the bustling party.

you don’t see him for the rest of the night.)

it does really start feel like you’re friends sometimes. and you suppose living with that just becomes a way of life. the weird lingering feeling when you first see him still remains – but it starts to feel normal. you start to simply allow it the space to live and hope that on its own accord it’ll leave.

and sometimes, with all the time that has passed and all the other flings with boys you’ve had, it feels stupid. and sometimes, you’re tired of feeling stupid so you just feel it.

you text about assignments in classes you share, you text about carpooling when jean is bringing a few of you somewhere. and, yes, it is the most surface level friendship and the conversation will never really expand from those two topics and maybe you are yet to actually spend any time together alone. maybe there is some hidden agenda between your friends to not let there be moments where you two have to be alone – but this is better than whatever the lonely alternative would be.

however, it seems whatever way your friends have been figuring out to not have you two alone for the past year and a half (disregarding the party incident – they will never know about that) is failing.

because you’re currently stranded at a bus stop for a bus that doesn’t look like it will ever come, trying to make it to connie’s house for his goodbye party before he goes away for the summer and almost an hour late. because you’re staring down at your phone trying to figure out how you feel, trying to reason with your gritted teeth and racing heart that everything will be okay.

staring down at jean’s message into the group chat you all share after you’ve explained your situation.

jean

Only leaving mine now I’ll swing by and get you

fuck.

this is not something you have a plan for. this is not a situation that you’ve dealt with before in the tribulations that have followed your break up. this doesn’t have a solution tucked away in your head. there is no adapting to this, there is no pretending, there is just you alone with jean in his car for the first time since you broke up. the last time you were in that stupid fucking car was when you broke up and oh god, what a joke.

you know he’s driving and he won’t check his phone so there’s no point in telling him not to and figuring out some alternative transport. and you know he’s not waiting for some confirmation from you because…because you know him.

cars are speeding past you and you’re trying so hard to get a handle on your thoughts but you can’t seem to just get a grip. it feels like every next car is going to be him. you turn your back to the road and try to start writing some kind of text to mikasa…but what is there to even say?

you’ve crafted the perfect unbothered-about-jean persona over the past year and a half. you’ve basically mastered a straight face whenever a crude joke is made about him and whatever girl he’s casually seeing, you’ve perfected acting completely normal when asked about him – you cannot give yourself away.

no, you refuse to give yourself away.

“hey!” a voice bellows out from behind you, and you can instinctively tell that when you turn around it’s going to be jean with his elbow hanging out his open car window. so you do – you turn around (and you’re right about his exact pose, but that’s a victory you don’t allow yourself to celebrate) and you make your way to the passenger side, get in, close the door and brace yourself.

“thanks for getting me,” you say as you put on your seat belt and jean pulls out onto the road.

“no worries.”

it’s only when you’re well on your way that you can think of something else to say – any kind of bland conversation to cut you out of your thoughts.

“how come you’re late?”

“how come you are?” jean almost instinctively says.

“no need to get defensive,” you laugh.

“what can i say,” jean smiles, “i’m quite a private person.”

“oh, really?”

“yep,” he swiftly responds, eyes darting to you before he sighs, “i fell asleep watching a movie.”

now you’re cackling, “of course you did, jean.” you try not to notice the corners of his mouth turning upwards as you laugh and he focuses on the road.

“you didn’t say why you were, i can’t be the only one revealing all here.”

“i wouldn’t say this is revealing all,” you say and jean animatedly rolls his eyes, “i was at work.”

“oh,” jean replies, “work…where’re you working now?” he asks with such hesitance, like it’s almost rude for him to want to know anything about your life beyond what he knew when he was with you and the bits and pieces he can put together from everyone else. you try not to think about how you wish you could tell him everything – everything that has changed and everything that hasn’t.

“the same shop.”

“that shop is a shithole–”

“hey!” you’re immediately interjecting and jean is chuckling at your offense.

“it is!”

jean starts swatting your hand away with one hand as you try to punch him in his arm, laughing in a way you haven’t heard him for a while. in a way you haven’t had a chance to hear.

“take it back, take it back” you’re repeating in between lunges and jean exclaiming ‘you’re gonna get us both killed’ and ‘i’m literally driving’.

“fine! i take it back!” he’s saying as the car finally comes to a standstill in a long line of traffic. he looks over to you for the first time this entire ride, turning his entire head and scanning your face. you hope your composure holds, “all i’m trying to say is that it doesn’t deserve you.”

you really hope your composure holds.

“right,” you say after a pause. jean’s eyes flit between yours and you feel like maybe there’s something more you’re supposed to say. maybe there’s something more he’s trying to say. or maybe the ultimately doomed remnants of your feelings towards him combined with his unwavering stare and tapping fingers on his wheel are making you think things and see things that don’t make sense.

jean only turns his head back to the road when a car horn blares behind him and he realises the light’s gone green.

“fuck,” jean raises his hand up to the driver and then glances at you as the car moves again, “sorry.”

“distracted,” you quip, and jean laughs again.

“i guess you could say that.”

“what’s on your mind?” you ask.

“huh? nothing.” his head momentarily turns to you, “beer.” and you both break out into the same smiles you used to wear around each other without noticing.

“not your familiar brigade of girls?” you’re saying without realising, and before you can even begin to regret your stupidly pointed joke, jean is guffawing so loudly you’re convinced he’s going to run the next red light.

“brigade?!” he questions, looking at you with wide eyes, “you’re making me sound like some sort of…” he loses his words and you feel maybe you really did take him by surprise with your unexpected candour.

“some sort of what?” you implore.

jean is silent, then turns to you with feigned annoyance and a twinkle in his eye, “shut up.”

and you’re both laughing and looking at each other and there it is again. that twinkle. that sparkle. you could miss it if you didn’t know exactly where to find it from so long ago.

a comfortable silence settles between the two of you and you can tell connie’s house is nearby. jean speaks first, “i can assure you there’s no such brigade.”

you snigger, “i don’t need to be assured.”

then jean is pulling into connie’s house and you can slightly make out music blaring from inside and silhouettes through the drawn curtains and the last bit of light from the late summer sun. he turns off the engine and you wait for him to take out his keys, yet he never does. you stare at the door handle, yet never go to pull it. neither one of you is making a move and when you turn your head to him, he’s already looking at you.

“i– ” “i–” you both attempt to start simultaneously, and then cut yourselves off with laughter.

“we haven’t spoken properly in so long,” jean eventually starts, “like this i mean.” (your heart is in your throat. you wonder if he can make out its outline when he looks at you.)

“yeah,” you softly say, “i know.”

“it’s nice.”

“it is.”

you’re looking at each other in silence again, and you can tell that his mind is racing with thoughts and he’s waiting to see which one catches onto his tongue and makes its way out. you think he can probably tell the same about you. it’s like some kind of competition, some game on who is going to keep this conversation going so you can stay in the car together for longer. alone.

you wonder if anyone inside has peeked through the window and noticed yet.

“you know…” jean speaks again and you are internally grateful, because you don’t think you can trust yourself to say anything right now, “you know, i notice that you avoid me, right?”

“that is not true.”

jean practically giggles at your immediate denial.

“it is,” he says, “it’s fine. i think i understand.”

“you do?”

“yeah, i–” jean trips over his own words, like they keep getting muddled in his mouth and he has to sound them out in his head before he can continue, “like… i can imagine it’s not easy. it wasn’t for me.”

your eyebrows instinctively raise, “it wasn’t?”

he laughs, and you suppose it is stupid to assume that he wasn’t in anyway upset about breaking up or stressed about having to maintain a friendship with you. you suppose it was easier to assume he didn’t care about you, like he was some kind of heartless villain.

“well, was it for you?”

you pause. a decision: how honest can you be with the person that seems to have haunted you for so long?

“no,” you shake your head, “not really. not at first.”

now jean’s eyebrows raise, “so it is now?”

“i… i don’t know,” the words practically tumble out of you, “why are you asking?”

your phone buzzes in your lap and both of your eyes instinctively dart to the lit up screen.

mikasa

You coming in?

you look back up at the house and can spot the curtain rustling. you’ve been noticed. but when you look back at jean, regardless of whatever audience might be wondering what you two are still doing in the car, you still have no desire to leave. this might be the only chance you have to finally be honest with yourself – with anyone – about how you feel.

you take a deep breath, and jean watches you carefully.

“you…” you try to start, unsure of what you’re saying or what you’re trying to achieve, “you know you really hurt me?”

“i know,” jean nods, regret undeniably flashing in his eyes, “i will always feel so bad–”

“you made me feel…small. like i wasn’t enough–”

“you are enough,” jean looks like he’s almost pleading with you. it feels like you’re back in his car on that damned night. like you’re back walking on eggshells and waiting for one to finally pierce through your foot.

“then…then why would you go on dates when you said you weren’t ready for a relationship? that you couldn’t do it?”

your throat feels raw and tight. you cannot break in front of him again. jean seems surprised to hear his words from that night repeated back to him.

“i don’t know. it was stupid,” he breathes, “i…i was trying to forget.”

“forget what?”

“forget you.”

it feels like if the world was to collapse around you, you would not be able to bat an eyelid if you were to remain in this car with jean. it’s a terrifying thought and it feels like the rush of your blood and the pulsing of your heart is going to get too big for your body and you’re going to burst.

“and did it help?” you slowly ask – and you don’t know why. you don’t know why it matters. you’re over. you’ve been over. whatever he answers doesn’t matter, it doesn’t change anything. it won’t change anything.

right?

jean is staring at you with enough intent to make you want to melt, like he means to take in every part of your face and sear it into his memory. it makes your head foggy.

“i…” jean’s chest is rising and falling and only then do you notice that yours is as well. and you are out of breath.

“you?”

“i was scared. you’re… you’re so good and i’m–” he’s practically mumbling. but you can hear him, you always hear him, “i don’t know what i am. it just felt like i was going to ruin you.”

suddenly a tear is rolling down your cheek. and another and another and jean is leaning into you like he’s meaning to catch them.

“why didn’t you say that?” you whisper.

“because i didn’t deserve you,” he says like it is the most obvious thing, “i don’t deserve you.”

“jean…” your hand is reaching up to his jaw, and you’re cupping his cheek without even thinking, thumb swiping over stubble, “that’s not true.”

“i don’t say the right things,” jean interjects, “i don’t do the right things. i never did. it just feels like i’ve been living in…some fucking limbo around you.” he leans his head on your hand, and then slowly picks up your other one and laces his fingers through it.

his hand fits like always. like it’s meant to.

you sigh, “what do you want from me, jean?”

“for you to not hate me.”

you giggle, “unfortunately, i could never hate you.” you feel his teeth against your palm as he beams at you, eyes watering and heart pounding.

“i… i want you.”

“really this time?”

“there was never a time i didn’t.”

he peers at you, like he’s trying to see into your head and unravel your thoughts one by one to read for himself. this time when he nestles his head into your hand again, he brings his head closer and closer to you, until you feel his breath fanning your damp cheeks.

nose to nose.

“please just let me…” he murmurs, eyes unwavering and hand gripping yours.

“okay,” you say softly, and he’s slowly but surely kissing you like you’re made of glass. like any wrong move and you will crumble right in front of him. you can feel the final tears that were resting on your waterline make their way down your face and he pulls away to let go of your hand and wipe them away.

he presses his lips to the exact spot on your cheek where they once were.

“i’m not stupid anymore,” he says. you laugh quietly.

“okay.”

“and i want you.”

you nod your head and he smiles, then kisses you again.

#jean x reader #aot x reader #jean kirstein x reader #attack on titan fic #aot fic #aot angst #aot fluff #jean kirstein fluff #snk fic #snk x reader #aot college #aot moderm au #jean kirstein fic

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spelllingandthemysteryschool · 10 months

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i can be trusted with time. i know how to spend it wisely. i know how to spend it well. i don’t ever waste it. i promiseeeee okay

#me when i lie

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gingerjolover · 8 months

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will me opening up requests for valentine’s day (2/13-2/15) cheer people up?

guys we are getting solo music!! it’s okay, i promiseeeee

(ur feelings are valid and i’ll kiss everyone of u until ur not sad anymore)

(also will take any suggestions for pun-related valentine’s day names)

#muna x reader #boygenius x reader #only asking because i made a plan i can actually stick to!#and better to get ahead of the curve #julien baker x reader #lucy dacus x reader #naomi mcpherson x reader #phoebe bridgers x reader #katie gavin x reader #josette maskin x reader

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fairytoge · 1 year

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dating headcanons ; i.toge, o.yuuta

notes!!

the third part of my "dating headcanons" series! ages ago, i got an ask for me to do more, but i kind of lost it :( i hope you like it though!!

other parts ; n.kento, g.satoru, g.suguruㅤi.yuuji, f.megumiㅤk.choso, z.naoya

m.list

i.toge

so, it's no secret that i highly favour toge out of every character in jjk, but i promiseeeee it's (kind of) for good reason

like, he just seems so sweet, can you really blame me?? and him as your boYFRIEND??? sign me up 🤭

in terms of how you would treat each other, i feel like all of your classmates would be sick of just how much you love each other lol

like, they'll be sitting outside or training and look over to you and toge when neither of you have said anything for a while, only to see the two of you cuddling and sharing your food

however!!!! you both know the time and place to do such things, and often only engage in that sort of pda when you want to purposefully annoy the others (mainly maki) or when either of you is tired

the others won't admit it but they do sometimes find you two cute

you probably sneak away from your group of friends when you're all watching a film to just go to one of your rooms and relax (maybe do skin care or just chat about your days)

you both are a sort of therapy to each other, but in a healthy way where you can joke about it whilst being supportive of each other's struggles

sometimes, when toge is insecure about his cursed speech or how communication in general is sometimes a trouble for him, he'll come to you for cuddles (which you obvs give cos who wouldn't??) and just confirmation that he is enough

those times are when you both adore each other more than you thought was possible <33

apart from that,, i feel like you would organise, at least once a week, to go out together

whether that's just walking, or visiting a cafe, or getting lunch at a store, it's the day that you both have together and one where you get to actually act like your ages!!!

even though you both think it's a secret, the other students are more than aware that you go out but also don't care enough to tell anyone or stalk you two

they secretly think it's sweet

but yeah, the two of you are a really wholesome couple?? but you're both way more chaotic when you're around the others lol

o.yuuta

so, regarding your relationship with yuuta, it starts off a bit rocky??

like, with the whole thing with rika and her as his first love and her curse, yuuta is more than cautious when he recognises that he likes you

you'd probably have to make the first move: reassuring him that no, he wasn't going to curse you with his love and that you were more than okay with entering a relationship with him

he's still scared, but is also aware that if not now, when?

there's quite a few hurdles in your relationship to begin with

like,,, yuuta was basically isolated and bullied for a good part of his childhood and now?? it was a sudden leap (but obvs not unwelcome)

but once you two have overcome those problems and you're both more comfortable and secure when speaking to each other, your relationship really begins to blossom!! <33

you probably both spar and train together regularly

at first it was so that you could help yuuta quickly improve his combat skills, but it soon turned into you both helping each other out in certain aspects

another reason why you trained together so often was obviously so that you could hang out without the others questioning or being nosy about your relationship

with toge and panda, along with their curiosity, i could envision them trying to find out where you both were going and lowkey interrogating and cornering yuuta when he's getting ready (but in a joking way!!)

they often end up being chased away by maki who just wants both you and yuuta to be more confident in dating each other already

no matter her cause, both you and yuuta are thankful towards her lolol

when you do go out, i feel like you'd just go for walks in the local park and feel ducks, or something quite peaceful

with your lifestyles, i mean... you wouldn't complain if you both do something quite relaxing and calm for once

also watching sunsets and sunrises together has become a hobby for you!!!

idk,, you and yuuta have a very normal relationship?? but in a way that just makes you love each other more and appreciate the smaller things in your lives <333

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melobin · 6 months

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meloooo honestly just take your time with the next chapter, i don't think i can handle it 😭😭

i can promiseeeee it’ll be okay !!!!!!

#✧ melody answers #✧ anon #✧ behind the screen

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stillfrownyclownlol · 4 months

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FROWNY. I know I commented some of my thoughts already (and already gave you an ask about it) but I have more and the comments have a word limit so I’m just gonna say them here:

ADAM. ADAM. I’m sorry but I think he’s my favourite character. Like THE RITUAL WITH HIM AND PERSEPHONE?? HER SAYING “They didn’t believe me”????? EXCSUE ME??? HELLO?? GIRL?? I cannot BELIEVE the amount of happenings I’ve just read. Like WHAT. He hasn’t woken up yet but like omg my baby my boy please come here and let me HUG YOU. He’s been going through it this whole book and he genuinely needs a hug I just wanna squeeze him and keep him safe UGHHHH.

ANYWAY. SO. Gansey and Blue??? CUTE AF?? Sad her and Adam aren’t together but honestly saw it coming — I was just in denial really. Like he’s literally her TRUE LOVE. There’s NO WAY she wouldn’t fall for him. I’m happy they considered Adam’s feelings though, but like OMG THE MOUNTAIN SCENE?? It was so cute and I could picture it so well in my mind like… (if you don’t remember what scene I’m referring to it’s the one after Adam’s scrying where Blue and Gansey drive off to clear their heads and then they stop at this beautiful scenery and then feelings get blown and they are REALLY cute)

UM. KAVINSKY?? HELLO?? I thought he was just some random jerk?? HE CAN DO SHIT WITH HIS DREAMS TOO?? And what’s with all the gay jokes?? My guy is so fruity, he calls Ronan “sweetheart” and “princess” this man is NOT STRAIGHT. like at all. Also Ronan??? RONAN??? KILL ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I CANT BELIVE HE DID THAT?? WITH THE CAMARO?? GENUINELY SCREAMED WHEN THAT HAPPENED??? And HIS EUPHORIC LAUGHTER?? HE SMILED?????? PLEASE CAN I HAVE MORE OF THAT????

Gray Man is ehh still, like he and Maura are cute I guess and he figured out Greywaren was a someones instead of a something but also okay?? I mean at least he isn’t gonna kidnap them or kill them? (At least, I hope not because I’m not done with the book)

Last thing I wanna talk about before I go read again: I officially love the Lynch brothers (like maybe not Declan YET but I’m only on book 2) and the Gansey’s aren’t all that bad. I also just want Adam to find someone who’d love him because he’s been so deprived of it his whole life like UGHHH ADAM??? I wanna cry he’s such a wreck 😭

Ok rant over !

NOOOOO YOURE AT THE RITUAL SCENE? PLEASEEEE BROKE MY HEART FR 😭😭😭

Omg the mountain scene. THE MOUNTAIN SCENE. THE DRIVE- SLDHOSBDOD IT WAS SO- AUGGHHHH. anyways don't worry Adam will also get his happiness 🙂‍↕️

THE KAVINSKY PLOT TWIST WAS CRAZYYYYY LMAO. also yeah he's fruity af kshjdbfsi.

WHEN HE CRASHED THE CAMARO KAHDJHDKS RIGHT AFTER GANSEY WAS THINKING ABOUT IT 💀 KILLED ME-

Grey Man is whatever I appreciate his help but like lowkey you shouldn't have been there in the same place-

The Lynch Brothers drive me insane in the best possible way ~

ADAM WILL FIND LOVE I PROMISEEEEE <3

#trc #the raven cycle #asks #shuu asks

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tragedy-peanut-gallery · 10 months

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Yippee time for some oc headcanons because its my enrichment time <3

Vaelora!!!

- Her favourite flowers to plant are poppies because they got that sweet sweet opium in em, but she’s also kinda fond of em just cause they’re pretty

- Has probably been gifted a few masks to hide her weird birthmark (phantom of the operacoded), usually refuses to wear them out of discomfort but sometimes caves and wears them to big events she’s required to go to

- She was given Nightshade’s egg as a baby, honestly didn’t expect it to ever hatch but surprise! It did when she was like, in her 20’s or so, she probably got to ride her dragon once before kicking the bucket

- Has gone into the cranberry bog. Only once though

- She was definitely married at some point because she has Aeryn (and ol Jae probably wouldn’t be letting her go outside ever if she had a bastard *cough* Gael *cough*), but ngl her husband is…. Kinda unimportant, to me, so I just headcanon him as being a Crabb that died when their son was a baby

- She maybe probably definitely poisoned her husband but don’t worry about that

- Loves Aeryn because he’s her sweet special little quiet boy but has very much fed him a lot of fucked up homemade versions of sweetsleep and milk of the poppy, and probably tried even more fucked up medicines whenever he got sick

- It’s okay though! He survived! Mostly

- Has probably a dozen notebooks on her plant research, some of it is definitively about the trials she did on animals and other plants cause she definitely wasn’t sharing the human tests until after she died

- She absolutely has a shitty relationship with her parents which didn’t help her godawful reputation- but Jae and Aly didn’t really like… Do anything abt her weirdness, mostly because she didn’t step out of line until the witch rumours started popping up

- Was probably a bit mad when Rhaenys got passed over for Baelon. Not because of any legitimate reason she just hates her loudass older brother and his dumbass kids

- Not normal about any of her siblings tbh. Girl’s relationships were crazyyy

- She’s half blind in one eye. Nobody really knows why cause her birthmark doesn’t really hurt or anything so that’s kinda unique ig

- Grew weed in Aegon’s garden. Totally medicinal she totally wasn’t smoking blunts guys I promiseeeee

Naera

- loveddd a lot of physical activities. horseback riding and hawking queen <3

- Was proud to be a targ to like, an obnoxious degree. Definitely wore a lot of dragon imagery on her outfits even when she got married into another house

- Honestly looks a lot like Myriah, and that’s kinda on purpose! They also have an increasingly toxic relationship with her cause I said so!

- … ngl I kinda made her a lot like Rhaenyra in terms of personality, if Rhaenyra was like, not interested in the throne and spent 100% more of her brain cells wanting to kiss more women

- Definitely a daddy’s girl, one of Daeron’s favourites aside from obvious golden child Baelor and used that status to get away with everythingggg, even if Myriah wouldn’t take any of her fuckery

- With that though, it would probably take her doing something really bad to get Daeron angry enough to send her away- so I think the probable breaking point was her coming onto one of her brothers’ betrothed/wives, ngl I kinda hc it to be Aelinor because I always love putting this queen in situations <3

- Because I give slightly more of a shit about her husband- I’m gonna name him Theo! He’s probably a Tyrell or from a minor Tyrell branch and also a second son, but Naera was allowed to choose him so she was looking less at status and more… Willingness to ignore all her possible affairs because he’s nice and also a little naive lol

- Their first kid is a girl named Thea after her dad, and continuing the bad family relationship they do not get along that much. Even less when Naera marries her off to a Tyrell cousin and basically adopts a new daughter

- Second kid is a son named Forrest. His most interesting traits is that he’s kinda sickly and also tries to claim the throne after Maekar’s death before his mama tells him to sit the fuck down and mind his dang business

- Her third unofficial kid is her handmaid/lover’s daughter Ella, who’s probably treated the best because Naera like, actually wanted to be a mom for her so she gets spoiled and taken pretty much everywhere she wants

- When it comes to the whole “cutting off your hand and throwing it at the pirate captain” thing, that was insane but like, I cannot emphasize enough that it wasn’t in a girlboss way. Animal caught in bear trap moment

- It was surprising it kinda worked tbh- it was a pure desperation moment after promising “her hand” and she played on that misunderstanding to get away… Captain absolutely kept her hand though

- Doesn’t matter tho because she got a whole new hand!! And it’s better! Kinda- it has articulating fingers and is sorta light and functional, but it’s also a pain to strap on and uncomfortable to have for long periods of time

- Absolutely becomes a worse person after her hand’s gone. Toxic queen 😌

#love making shitty lil guys. should I make em worse? guys let me know if you want them to be worse and wretched #asoiaf ocs

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