#okay rant over SORRYYY

[katasstrophy]

HOHOHO saw that idea n had some thoughts (rubs hands like im using hand sanitizer)

ok BBBUT imagine how mean sae wld be once u cum all over shidous face muehehehe he’d pretend to be disgusted n be like “u actually enjoyed that? looks like our angel here is filthier than they let on.” n then after one of them fucks u properly, he forces u to get down on ur knees n suck the cum off of their cocks bc ur just “so dirty” sae wants u to clean him n shidou up

also imagine how lewd fucking after shidou made a mess out of u wld sound . shidou pounding into you while sae shuts u up so he can properly hear the wet sounds of sex 🤭

anon!!!!!!😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 i’m SOOOO glad i instinctively knew that HOHOHO was horny in nature and didn’t open this absolute FILTH during my lecture bc the visceral whole body reaction i had to this would have outed me as a WHORE to like 200+ people who think im Kind Of Normal asksjbdbrkfkd i can’t i really can’t ITS BARELY EVEN NOON PLSSSS

sae’s so possessive but then. our angel????? 🥹🥹 im crying n not just from my eyes. s - shutting u up so they can hear how messed up u are for them and them only<3 gripping the bed frame as we speak

@r-oronoa you might want to see this bc river.exe has officially stopped performing basic brain functions HEELLLPPPPPP

also apollo pls let me know if you’d rather i not tag u!!

[loelett]

anyone can unfollow if they think it's cool to post or purposefully interact with ai art btw

[averageludwig]

tips to draw the mercs please? demo esp hes SO BEAUTIFUL

THIS IS SUCH A LATE REPLY,, sorryyy some reqs get completely buried sometimes... I can't go on a full blown tutorial for all the 9 mercs BUT I can give some tips in bullets cuz I am a lazy fuck! hope this helps :p

🕸️ For practice, Try adding guidelines to the mercs faces to get a sense of distance between and placement of every feature!

🕸️ No matter what style you draw in, You can always mostly capture the Mercs' likeness by keeping the shapes true to the models!

🕸️ I recommend using the game models as reference when it comes to the face. Its WAY more consistent and more recognizable than the comics (different artists and such!)

🕸️ Some Demo specific points are; - Color pick his skin tone from a model, avoid directly picking from where the light source lands on his face! somewhere between the light and shadow should be his exact skin tone! - His hair appears appears to be either 4c or 4b in his hats off cosmetic! Its very thick and coily so make sure not to give him wavy or curly hair. use references of 4c/4b hair!

🕸️ When it comes to simplifying the shapes in any of the Mercs' face, Use blocky shapes then smooth them out! curves and circles usually have to many details to start. stick with cuboids, you can always make them irregular :)

🕸️ Try practice-tracing over models! a fun activity that I used to do (Which I should definitely get back to) Is tracing over SFM screenshots! It will help you understand how each of their faces move with different expressions ! try to keep it blocky as well when you trace, Not just blindly trace over every curve (to understand the angles of their face)

🕸️ For bodies, Use a lot of reference. All the Mercs' have very diverse and unique body types, Take your time studying them. Practice on references of similar real bodies. (pinterest has a lot of those)

🕸️ The more you draw the mercs the more you get used to stylizing them whilst keeping them recognizable! take your time :3

Okay I will stop ranting now... hope... this helps....

[kimpossibly]

beneath the ice (peter prior)

pairing: peter prior x fem!reader

summary: sometimes following a lead can be a deadly pursuit with unforseen circumstances. especially in ennis.

wc: 4k

warnings: situations of peril (description of a near drowning), swearing, blood, hospitals, peter and kayla r separated and getting a divorce sorryyy, kissing/making out

author's note: HI SORRY I DISAPPEARED FOR FOREVER HI HELLO HOW ARE YOU. i started college last fall so i guess i just got caught up in the swing of things and really lost my game, but here i am! can't promise i won't disappear again as i still do have to finish up the semester (and i may be writing an original novel *winky face*) but i just HAD to come on here and rant because the true detective brainrot is real guys. so so real. i was literally looking for content after the first ep and i was like wait...it doesn't even exist yet which is SO CRAZY because usually i write for/obsess over characters with so much content already out there so like. i guess i gotta make the content this time??? let me know if you want more peter fics because the brainrot is REALLLL. okay, love you! hope you enjoy!

"This is a bad idea."

"Yeah, probably."

Y/N had had it up to here with Peter's complaints. They stood at the edge of the frozen lake, their flashlights beaming over the glassy surface. It was around three o'clock, the sixth day of dark. Y/N still didn't feel fully adjusted to the constant darkness, especially with the case of the Tsalal station in full force. Sleep was a rare commodity nowadays, and she usually relied on that sleep to keep her sense of night and day in check. She wasn't getting any of that now.

"We're not going to be able to see anything from here," she muttered, squinting out at the lake. She took a tentative step off the snowy edge and tested the ice, putting half her weight on it to see if it would hold.

Peter saw what she was thinking before she did it, and he was going to do his damned best not to let it happen. "You're not going out there."

Y/N looked back at him. "I used to be a dancer, remember? I'm light on my feet."

"You were a tap dancer."

"Same difference."

She put one foot on the ice, taking a step forward. There was a little creaking sound as the ice adjusted to her weight, but it held. Peter caught her arm before she could take another. "Y/N."

She pursed her lips. "You can come with me if you want, but it might only hold one of us. Your choice."

"We'll call someone. We'll call Danvers, or—"

"We're here now. We might as well get out there and start looking."

He didn't like this idea. He did not like this plan. But Y/N had, seemingly, set on it. There wasn't much he could do now to stop her. He couldn't beat her, and joining her would probably make things worse. All he could do now was watch her. "Stay close to the edge."

Y/N grinned. "I knew you'd come around."

She turned and aimed her beam of light at the glassy ice, taking a few, slow steps forward. She could see straight through the glass now, to the rocky bottom below. If her lead was right...something would be here. Awena Lake. Something was here.

She traversed farther and farther onto the frozen surface, the wind whipping her hair around her face. She was far. Too far, in Peter's opinion. He was about to call out to her when suddenly she stopped, staring down at a place in the ice.

What he didn't know was that she was staring down at a face.

She whispered something her voice quiet, terrified. Then, a scream. Y/N fell to her knees, punching at the ice, trying to break through.

"Y/N!"

She heard Peter calling her name, but she could only focus on breaking through that ice. Punched and punched and punched until her knuckles split and suddenly the ice below her was getting painted with blood every time she brought a fist down. She was almost in a trance, beating away at the solid glacial matter that just wouldn't break.

But then, of course, it did.

It happened so quick that Peter couldn't missed it if he blinked at the wrong moment. One second he was taking slow, cautious steps onto the ice, heading to get Y/N before she did something really stupid. The next second there was a sound like breaking plaster and a splash, and Y/N disappeared under the ice.

She felt hands grasping at her, trying to pull her down. And a voice—there was definitely a voice. She couldn't quite make it out. She opened her mouth to scream back, and as the cold water rushed into her lungs, her lips formed one question: what happened to you?

Her vision went black before she got an answer.

Music. The first thing she noticed when she woke up was the music. And the fact that she was warm, when the last thing she remembered being was really f-cking cold. Her eyelids stuck together as she slowly blinked open, the dim lighting of the hospital room slowly coming into focus. She tried to flex her fingers and found them stiff as ice (no pun intended). She saw the white bandage wrapped around her hands, purple bruises around her wrist and near the tips of her fingers. Jesus. She'd done some damage on that ice.

The fucking music. It was some oldie—70s, probably. It was playing softly from the corner, and she turned her stiff neck to see Peter slumped in a chair, staring down at his phone. What a loser. She cleared her throat to test her voice.

"If you're on TikTok right now, I'll fucking kill you."

Peter jumped at the sudden sound, his phone clattering to the ground. Y/N laughed, though it quickly turned into a wheezy cough. She sat up, a bandaged hand covering her mouth as she continued to choke. Peter rushed to her side, filling up a paper cup with the water pitcher on the bedside table. He handed it to her and she waited for the coughs to dissipate a bit before taking a gulp of the cold water. She sucked in a breath and found her ribs fighting back against the stretch. Everything was sore. Which, she reminded herself, was her own fault.

"Do you want me to call the doctor?" he asked, dragging the chair closer to sit beside her.

Y/N shook her head. "Nah. M'fine."

He gave her a look, and she clarified, "As fine as I can be."

Peter looked like he wanted to say something for a moment, but held it back. Y/N noticed a manila file on the other side of her and raised an eyebrow, reaching for it. Even leaning over caused her ribs to scream back in pain, but the snatched the folder anyway, flipping it open to see her own medical chart. "Hypothermia, boxer's fracture in both hands, ventricular fibrillation...Jesus. Okay, so I did some damage. My bad."

"What the fuck, Y/N?"

She looked up from her file. Peter had a look on his face she couldn't quite parse. Anger? Pity? Whatever it was, it was heightened by the fact that his under eyes were darker than she'd ever seen them. He stood up, pacing a bit. "Can you stop treating this like it's some fucking joke? You fell through the ice. I had to call Danvers and tell her you almost got yourself killed following some shit lead. You know what she said?"

Y/N stayed silent, fearing that whatever she said would make things worse.

"She asked me why the fuck I didn't stop you."

Y/N wanted to bite back, to yell that it wasn't his responsibility to tell her what to do and what not to do. But, she reminded herself, he probably knew that. It didn't matter. If Danvers said he should've stopped her, he should've stopped her. At least, that's probably how it went in his mind.

She said nothing. Eventually Peter shook his head, muttering something under his breath before going back on his phone. Y/N stared at her own hands, dragging her finger over a little spot of blood that had begun to peek through it. She tried to shift herself a bit and a pain shot through her ankle. She grimaced, hissing lightly at the sting. She pulled her blanket aside and looked down, her stomach twisting when she saw a purple bruise surrounding her right ankle. Almost like a hand.

"Geez. What, did you drag me out by my ankles?" she said to Peter.

"What?" he replied, not looking up, "no, I grabbed your hand."

"Then what the hell is that?"

She pointed, and Peter's eyes followed where she was indicating. "Maybe you kicked something," he offered, "you were trying to swim back up to the surface."

Y/N frowned, something nagging in the back of her mind. "No I wasn't."

"Yes, you did. I saw you."

"No, I was dragged."

Peter shook his head, as if trying to make the words coming out of her mouth form a logical sentence. "What?"

The memory came flooding back to Y/N. The moment just before she started punching at the ice. The face. "I saw her."

"Saw who?"

"Annie."

Peter stilled, his jaw loosening ever so slightly. He looked at Y/N, and for a moment he wondered if the hypothermia had gotten to her brain. "What?"

"Annie K. I saw her under the ice, so I tried to go down and get her."

"Y/N, Annie's-"

"She's fucking dead, I know," she snapped. "But I saw her, alright? I wouldn't start punching solid ice for nothing."

And now Peter was left in a conundrum. On the one hand, Y/N wouldn't lie about something like this. He trusted her that far at the very least. But what she was saying she saw...that went beyond reasonable explanation. He looked at her hands, remembering how they looked just after he pulled her out of the ice. Raw and bloody and bruised. He saw the way she was punching at that ice. It was desperate. No logical person would fuck up their hands like that for a lie. She was really reaching for something. For someone, if that's what she says.

There was still one issue: Danvers wouldn't hear it. They saw how far Trooper Navarro got when she tried to bring Annie's name into the equation. Zero tolerance. They couldn't expect any more grace from the chief.

"You don't have to believe me-"

"I do, Y/N. I do."

She was a little surprised at that. She'd expected Peter to tell her she was crazy. Nevertheless, she could take his belief and run with it. "Then help me," she said, her voice stern. "Follow this lead with me as far as it can go. We don't have to tell Danvers, and if it leads nowhere it leads nowhere. Just don't make me do it on my own."

Conundrum #2: Does he stay on the sidelines or jump through that ice with her?

Fuck it. It's gonna be cold either way.

"Fine."

Y/N's lips turned up into a small smile. Before she could respond, though, one of their co-workers, Lissy, popped her head in the door. "Hey, Prior. You're relieved of L/N duty."

Y/N sat up in bed, giving Peter a look. "L/N duty?"

He gave a sheepish shrug. "Would it help if I said I volunteered?"

"Get out of here. Smartass."

Danvers came eventually to swear at her and ask what the hell she'd been thinking. She gave Danvers the real, honest answer, which was that she wasn't. She'd probably take that better than a lie.

But eventually, of course, she had to.

"And what the hell made you start punchin' that ice?"

Y/N paused. "I thought I saw something, but it was—it wasn't—"

"Well, what?" Danvers snapped. "What was it? Wasn't it?"

"It was nothing, okay? It was a false lead."

That was hard to say, even if it wasn't true.

The highlight of the whole situation was that, at the very least, Y/N's circadian rhythm had gone back to somewhat normal. She looked over files until around eleven o'clock at night when she couldn't keep her eyes open for more than ten seconds at a time. Trying to sleep was a battle for a moment, what with the sore everything and the hands that could barely grasp at the blankets to pull them up to her chin. But eventually exhaustion won out, and she fell asleep to the gentle hum of the hospital's heating system.

And though she never really had in her life, she dreamed.

She dreamed that she was back under the ice, the rocks beneath her feet, crystal clear water swallowing her hole. And there was Annie, beckoning her further and further out. She swam for her until her muscles burned. The further out Annie took her, the darker the water got, and the colder and colder she felt. It got so dark and so cold that she couldn't see Annie at all. It was only when she squinted that she could see her hands in front of her face, and she watched in horror as frost crept over her skin and nipped at her blood.

When Y/N jolted awake, it took her embarrassingly long to realize she was standing on the roof of the hospital. Her bare feet were buried in the snow, the tips of her toes hanging over the edge, five stories above Ennis. A yelp tore out of her mouth before she could stop it, her balance wavering for a single, terrifying moment.

She stepped down from the ledge as soon as she got her bearings, the wind blowing right through her hospital gown and stinging her skin. She stumbled back into the hospital, arms wrapped around herself as she tried to recover from the intense cold, all the while wondering how the hell she got up there.

There was seemingly only one answer: she brought me there.

Peter's kitchen table was littered with crime scene photos. Darwin toddled on the floor, playing with his stuffed elephant, while Peter brewed a fresh pot of coffee. Y/N was so focused that she didn’t notice as Darwin stood and reached his little hand up, grasping for the photos. His fingertips found purchase and he started to pull a particularly bloody photo off the table. Y/N snatched it out of his grasp just before he could be scarred for life and Darwin let out a little giggle.

“Close call, little man,” she said, “that would’ve taken a lot of therapy to unsee.”

Darwin stuck his tongue out at her. She stuck hers out back.

“Kayla should be on her way to come get him. She's trying to beat the storm,” Peter said, scooping Darwin up and carrying him safely away from the photos. They sat down between the couch and the fireplace, and Y/N, suddenly craving a break from the blood and gore, got up to go meet them.

"You guys doing okay?" she asked as she sat cross-legged beside Darwin. "You and Kayla?"

She could tell immediately that she hit a nerve. Peter's eyes darted away from Darwin instantly, his gaze instead setting on the fire. He didn't answer for a moment, and for a moment Y/N thought maybe he was acting like he didn't hear her. "We, uh...we separated."

Y/N frowned. "What?"

"Two months ago. Maybe two and a half."

He picked up the fire poker and stoked the flames—not because they needed to be, but because if he didn't have something to do with his hands he'd go crazy.

Y/N didn't quite know what to say. She remembered when her parents separated, but she was too little to do much about it. Too young to think about comforting them.

"I'm sorry," she said.

Peter just shook his head and shrugged like it was no big deal. "It was coming eventually. We just finally owned up to it."

"Still. It sucks."

"Yeah."

They sat in silence for a moment. Darwin handed the elephant over to Y/N to make way for his sudden interest in picking out the fuzzies in the carpet.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm becoming increasingly concerned that my ice plunge gave me walking pneumonia."

That didn't make it better, but it did get him to laugh.

They played with Darwin and generally avoided the topic of work until there was a knock at the door. A hush seemed to fall over them, reality setting back in. Peter got up, taking Darwin with him, and Y/N went back to the kitchen table. She made herself busy (or, at the very least, she made herself look busy) with files.

Peter opened the door with Darwin in one arm, Darwin's weekend backpack in the other. Kayla stood there on the other side. She grinned and cooed as she took Darwin, but the grin faded when it became clear that she had to interact with Peter.

Look at the files, Y/N. What's happening at the door is none of your business.

Ugh, but eavesdropping would be so fun.

"What's she doing here?" she heard Kayla say. Both she and Peter looked over to where Y/N was sitting.

Well, at least I don't have to eavesdrop.

Y/N looked up, raising an awkward hand in greeting. "Hi Kayla."

"Hi Y/N," Kayla replied. She wasn't cold, but it was clear that Y/N wasn't her favorite person in the world.

Peter said something about work, but Y/N couldn't decipher it. She went back to work, trying to block out the distant sounds of what seemed to be a heated conversation. Eventually the door closed (not slammed, luckily) and Y/N looked up. Peter stared at the wooden door for a few seconds after it had closed, like he thought it might open again. Y/N rushed to look away as he finally turned and headed in her direction. She tried not to shift as he took a seat on the side of the table closest to her, taking his own stack of files and beginning to sort through them.

After a moment, she spoke. "Aaaaare we gonna talk about that?"

"No we are not."

"Got it, got it."

They studied crime scenes. They looked at the facts. They asked a lot of wrong questions and maybe a few right ones. They got so deep into the case of the Tsalal men that they didn't realize when the clock struck three in the morning just as Peter was about to brew a new pot of coffee.

"Huh," was all Y/N could manage to say when she saw the time.

"Huh," Peter agreed.

She looked outside, which at this time of night was a greyish blur of falling snow moving at too many miles per hour. This was the type of storm Y/N's mother told her to watch out for. People who drove out in these either ended up wrecked or freezing to death before they made it home. "Mind if I stay the night?"

Peter nodded. "'Course."

Ten minutes later, Y/N was curled on the couch with a down comforter draped over her to block out the chill (with the help of three layers of clothes and another blanket on top). The lights were out and all she could hear was the sound of whistling wind as she drifted off to sleep.

And for the second time in years, she dreamed.

She was back under that water, cold seeping into her bones. She saw the surface just a few feet above her head, close enough to touch. She reached up, but before her frozen fingers could make contact with the frozen sheet of ice she could use to pull herself up, a hand seized her ankle and dragged her down. She screamed, but only bubbles escaped her mouth, the sound absorbed by the freezing waters that enveloped her. She rushed to suck in a breath and the water flooded in to meet her screaming lungs.

She was dying.

She looked down at the one who was dragging her, and saw someone she knew to be dead.

"Y/N..."

"Annie?" Y/N said. More bubbles. Annie just looked at her, and somehow she knew: Death was coming.

"Y/N!"

Peter's hand landed roughly on her shoulder, enough to shake her out of the dream and make her realize that she was standing outside in the swirling snow, which was getting worse by the second. She turned, and their faces were so close that their matching frozen, red noses were inches away from touching. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

Y/N made no reply, trekking back towards the house as quickly as her bare feet could take her. Annie’s eyes were still flashing across her mind every few seconds, as if trying to come back to the surface and consume her again. She wouldn’t let that happen.

As soon as the door shut behind her, the wind howling and doing its best to pry it back open again, she collapsed against it, trying to stave off cold and paranoid visions. She vaguely heard Peter mutter No, come here, as he pulled her up from the floor and guided her to the fireplace, which he promptly lit. He draped a blanket around her, then two, then three. She must’ve looked like a floating head with all the fabric covering her from the shoulders down as she curled on the floor, knees drawn up to her chest. He sat down beside her after he was satisfied she had enough to warm her up. She was shivering slightly, but the horrified look in her eyes made him wonder if that was totally from the cold. He didn’t ask. He sat, staring straight at the fire with her. That was all he could do.

“It was Annie,” Y/N said finally, her voice hoarse. “She took me out there.”

Peter didn’t respond—he was sure the explanation she would give, if she gave any, would go entirely over his head.

Y/N swallowed hard before continuing. “She’s involved in all this. I don’t know how, and I don’t know why. But something about Annie is still alive. Because what happened to her? That’s what happens when men get angry. But when women get angry? You end up out in the snow in the middle of the night with no idea how you got there.”

Silence.

“She’s angry. We just have to figure out why.”

Peter looked at her, color starting to bloom in her previously purple lips. She stared intently ahead as she talked, almost as if she were in a trance. When Peter reached out and took a lock of her hair gently between his fingers, she didn’t flinch. She glanced over at him, her eyes illuminated by the fire he’d set.

“Your hair froze,” was his only explanation.

Y/N looked down and saw that he was right. Little ice crystals had formed in patches of her hair. She wondered how long she’d been out there in the cold.

She wasn’t sure who leaned in first, or when the images of Annie disappeared from her mind, but in an instant Peter’s lips were on hers, and all visions of Annie floated away, replaced only by the feeling of his lips and hands.

It was only a moment before he pulled away, his eyes shut in a way that suggested he fucked up. For the second time in a week she’d nearly found herself in a life-threatening situation, and here he was playing with her hair and kissing her like a besotted middle schooler. She would be mad—she had to be.

“Sorry,” he said quietly.

“Don’t be,” Y/N said, pulling him back to her and kissing him again.

That was all the okay Peter needed. He pulled her to him again, this time a bit rougher, but still careful not to accidentally push any blankets off her. It was Y/N who eventually shed them, pulling him onto the couch with her. It was still too cold inside for either of them to remove any more layers they already had on (which they both found extremely unfortunate), but that didn’t stop Y/N from crawling atop him and straddling his waist to better kiss him.

After what felt like hours (but was probably only twenty minutes), they wound up that way, with Y/N laying her head on Peter’s chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her to hold him to her. Her heart rate was just starting to slow down when Peter spoke.

“You know I’ll help you see this through, right?” 

Y/N looked up at him. “Yeah.”

He ran a soft hand through her hair and she laid back down.

“This is a bad idea, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, probably.”

But, funnily enough, neither of them cared.

[visceravalentines]

26, 32, and 44 👀💞

CUTEST GUYS EVER OMG :| <3 v:

26. What’s your biggest distraction when writing?

tungle.com. adding it to my blacklist. cutting myself off. CLOSING THE TAB opening it again

44. Rant about something writing related.

gurl. u already know. but i have SO MANY WIPS I CAN'T HANDLE IT. they keep showing up on my doorstep like babies in baskets w a note pinned to their chest that says some shit like "six thousand words cannibalism as sacrament" and i'm like okay. alright. come in. close the door, turn around. doorbell rings. it's another baby again. this one's name is "guilt-riddled shower orgy" and guess what. she can stay too. i'm raising them all as my own. none of them are okay

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from?

I'M GONNA DO THREE MORE BC I THINK I'M A GENIUS SORRYYY putting them under a cut so u can ignore me if it preserves ur peace

from cane-cutter blues:

You want him to cradle you like something precious and domestic. A dog. A tool. 

but not a person. not a person. baby girl............seek help

from i'm so dirty, babe:

He lifted his head at last and scrutinized you. Dried blood flaked off the bottom half of his face and the bridge of his nose was red and swollen. His hair stood up in all directions. “You’re a mess, darlin’,” he said flatly. 

AND WHAT ARE YOU, FUCKER??? so bitchy, goddd. i think this is so funny and it makes me want to slap him and then kiss it better

and a lil sneaky peek from a fic that isn't done yet, but this line is. so much. and so good.

His showers are cold.  His dreams are wet.  He leans against the hood of his truck and blows smoke out his nose and thinks about killin’ you just to put a stop to it.  And then he’s gotta go fuck his hand ‘til he stops wonderin’ if you’d moan his name while you died.

jeeeeesus christ. we've gone around the bend. too fast. over the cliff. bye

[maemumirkaat]

WAIT YOU LIKE WC,,, ERM TIME TO RANT IN UR INBOX SORRYYY

WHY THE FUCKKK DOES BRIGHTHESRT LOOK LIKE HST IN THE MANGA WHST DID THEY DOMTO MY GIRLLLL ALL OF THE MANGA DESIGNS LOOK UGLY IN MY OPINION BUT ESP BRIGHTHEART WHAT RHE FUCJ WHYYY DOES SHE LOOK LIKE THSTTTTTTT

okay bai (yes cloudtail wrote this ask/j)

PLEASD WHEN I FIRST READ THR MANGA I WAS LIKE who the fuck is that SHE LOOKS SO WEIRD??? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT OTHER THAN SHE GOT LIKE A FISH SLAPPED OVER HER EYE AND THEY CALLED IT A DAY IT LOOKS SO OFF

[loveyouhomex]

Hold on - Chord Overstreet

[potatotrash0]

Abyss Princess Lumine my beloved

[depressing-debbie]

AOT Trio’s Annoying and Endearing Habits

Characters: Eren, Mikasa, Armin

This is my first time doing like more serious character headcanons that aren’t basically crack, so I hope you enjoy! Let me know if you want me to do more characters :)

EREN:

ANNOYING:

never washes his hair. it’s so greasy.

literally smacks his head off of things when he’s frustrated

eats really spicy food and cries every time, refuses to stop eating it

mansplainer. chronic.

tells people with anxiety to “just relax” because he genuinely does not understand what anxiety is

ENDEARING:

incredibly loyal, will not hesitate to fight anyone who insults someone he barely even knows

always has a hair tie on his wrist and will probably offer it if someone asks

always willing to talk trash about with you about people you hate

uses the fact that he’s loud to talk over everyone in a conversation and get their attention for his quiet friends

MIKASA:

ANNOYING:

tell me that scarf has been washed even one time. it hasn’t.

answers personal questions with another question towards the other person

never initiates a conversation. you guys will literally sit in silence staring at each other until you say something first.

says “this is easy” when someone is struggling, not to be mean, but because she genuinely doesn’t realize why they could be struggling

ENDEARING:

gladly listens to people complain, asks if they want advice or just want to rant

glares at anyone bothering her friends, you guys know that tiktok trend showing off your scary dog friend? that’s her.

saves snacks for her friends when she knows they’re too busy to get food

that one friend that brings up something you told them a year ago in casual conversation because they remember everything.

ARMIN:

ANNOYING:

“actually, that’s incorrect”

trips over his feet every 30 seconds, and half the time he accidentally tackles whoever is walking with him

talks sooooooo quietly sometimes

will not, NOT, lose an argument. even if you walk away thinking you won, you will be presented with written scientific evidence proving his point a month and a half later.

automatically assumes the people around him need help with anything academic (let’s be honest, though, they generally do)

ENDEARING:

can always spot the telltale signs of a panic attack beginning and asks if there’s any way he can help, remembers for next time

such a good listener! empathizes and offers advice, no judgement

shares books with his friends that remind him of them or that he thinks they would like, and they’re all annotated with little messages

keeps the conversation going with tiny little facts about his interests, and gets super excited when other people do the same

Note: Ahhhh okay I know I said I would start posting less but I just have so much in my head that I need to get outtt, so I’m very sorryyy!!

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

Let's kickstart the reopening of requests with some Levi loving moments shall we~

I decided to kind of merge both of them together, I hope it ended good~

Have a good day too~♡

I wrote this while having the newest song from E ve, Aono Waltz on repeat the whole time. It's so good

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Wave Vortex - A Leviathan x MC mini fic

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Summary

It happened so fast. Too fast.

If anyone asked Levi if he had ever been in love, he wouldn't miss a beat before replying 'yes'.

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Warning: uncensored swearing, Leviathan being anxious and insecure af.

.

It was supposed to be a fun evening, he had finally put his foot down on his insecurities and asked his best friend, THE best of friends, to go on a date with him.

And they said yes, hells, they said yes.

He was on cloud nine for the entire week, day and night, during boss fights, anime episodes, even to the point of spacing out inside his fantasies while he was trying to rant to Henry exactly about said fantasies.

He was happy, so damn happy. But he was also scared shitless.

He was just so awkward, he couldn't do anything right except for being an otaku, he was ugly and couldn't even express himself unless he was roleplaying, he just knew he would ruin this, he knew.

But he was just so excited.

And now as he sat on a bench outside the human world Aquarium you two were supposed to be having a fun evening at, he couldn't help but think that he should have cancelled the plans and walked away as soon as he started having bad feelings.

Not that it wasn't fun at the start of course.

He may have had arrived one hour earlier than promised and probably made you feel bad about having him wait though for some reason you arrived only a few minutes after.

"I was just too excited to come" they had said, he knew they had to have known he left earlier and came rushing despise it all, he really is a pain in the ass isn't he?

But even so, the moment he bumped his hands with yours and you took a hold of his pinkie, his brain was mush all over again.

He tried his best to make it fun for you, speaking to every single aquatic life swimming around and translating to you whatever they were thinking.

"Oh... Oh!" He exclaimed

"What is it?" You looked back and forth between the demon and the silver fish staring at you two from the glass "what did it say?"

"I-It likes my eyes" he didn't know how to feel about being complimented by a fish, though Henry did cheer him up whenever he needed.

He could hear you chuckle from besides him and turned his head to look at you (he got a bit startled when he met your gaze, were you looking at him all this time?) "I like them too" you smiled, his eyes widened "your eyes kind of remind me of a sunset".

He was spluttering incoherent noises for a good five minutes after.

You guys even found a little place selling soft ice cream cones, he was a bit excited to find what flavor you would order, maybe next time you two hung out together he could pull one of those date moves and get an ice cream for the both of you...

"...What next time?" Leviathan hunched his back over his legs, hiding his face in his arms. Would there be a next time...?

It was all going so well, even though he was a nervous wreck and couldn't even fully grasp onto his best friend's hand because he was a coward just like that. Even then, even then, he believed the two of you were having enough fun, you told him so, and you were smiling, so at least part of it had to actually be true.

But of course, his younger siblings had to come a ruin everything.

And it happened so fast, too fast.

You asked to try his ice cream, now that he looks back at it, he isn't sure why because you two had gotten the same flavor afterall.

But he didn't think of that at the time and let you take a taste.

And he was just so hipnotized by your lips covered in ice cream, he seriously pondered if this was what Beel felt like while looking at food. That little smile, the small lap of your tongue as you cleaned the skin off the cold treat, and missing a spot.

He was going insane.

And that's when it happened.

"Just kiss already dammit!" Came a loud scream from not so far behind him.

It was familiar and high pitched, Asmo, and followed by a second familiar voice, Satan, telling the other to not yell.

But it was too late. The damage was already done.

The moment the lust sibling had finished his line the ice cream cone Leviathan was holding out for you fell off his hands in a jerk motion as he jumped.

Spilling all over your chin, neck and clothes.

Clothes you had specifically told him were your favorite and you had specifically dressed with because you spe cifically told him you also wanted today to be special.

Fuck

Fuck

"Fuck!" He exclaimed right there and then.

You looked down at yourself, mouth agape.

He couldn't stay there. He had to get away, away before you got angry, away before you officially declared all his hopes for naught.

And that's how he found himself trying to not have a full blown panic attack on the pretty damn unconfortable bench he found his sorry ass seated upon outside of the hellhole his brothers and their human housemate found themselves in. Well deserved for someone like him right?

Now that he thinks about it, he should have stayed and helped you clean up right?

"Fuck" he groaned before raising his head to prevent the tears gathering around his eyes to spill out.

He really just had to make a big deal out of everything and ruin it didn't he?

Why was he always like this?

"Levi!" Oh sweet lord of shadows he almost jumped out of his skin again, it was you. And you were running towards him.

He debated to himself if he should run away or stay, deciding that he already ruined things enough by not helping you clean up, he should start apologizing, maybe that will make you less angry-

He stood up, he couldn't make his feet move towards you but he was ready to speak, he could try to do damage control, he could do it.

He opened his mouth to speak but you were faster, you always were.

"Are you okay?"

And he felt so stupid all of sudden.

You weren't angry, you were concerned.

You shirt was clean though he could see it was still wet, why weren't you angry?

Well, he already knew the answer.

Because it was you.

You understood him, you knew he was already on a peak of anxiety the moment he asked you on a date a week ago, you knew him.

You knew him.

And so he couldn't help but start crying.

But this time he didn't hide, he didn't run. This time he reached for your hand first, this time he held onto it fully, this time he really looked at you.

"It's okay! I'm not angry!" He was making you even more worried and you didn't know if you should touch him or not "you're much more important than my favorite clothes! Well, it is still going to be a pain to wash it though-" he kind of wanted to let out a defeated laugh at that.

"I knoooow" he said in between tears. "I'm sorryyy"

He heard you sigh "I know" of course you did "and I forgive you" of course you did "and the day is not over yet, we can still do something fun today!" You paused, looking down, almost skepish "and I want to spend more time with you", he held his breath.

Of course you did.

"I'm sorry I didn't stay to help you clean" he finally let out in a husky voice. He wanted to blame Asmo, be angry at him for startling him in the first place, but either way he shouldn't have left you alone "if it stains I can try to find some kind of spell to get it off"

He looked down to his feet, his hand was still holding onto yours tightly.

You were quiet for a while, he was about to look back up when you did the job for him by lifting it up by his chin with your hand gently.

And you kissed him.

Deeply yet softly, gently yet passionatelly.

He didn't know what he was expecting but it definetelly wasn't this.

You cupped one of his cheeks with your free hand, his face stunned, but at least the tears stopped coming.

"I do love you Leviathan" was all that scaped those lips he was already starting to miss.

If anyone asked Levi if he had ever been in love, he wouldn't miss a beat before replying 'yes'.

Afterall he loved a lot of things: He loved his animes, he loved his games, he loved Henry and he loved his waifus and husbandos. He loved many things but, none of those things could ever reciprocate his feelings, not really.

And he was used to it, he was used to loving without being loved, it was safer, better, free of potential rejection.

But you loved him.

Even after so many times he ranted your ear off about something you probably weren't interested in, even after not being able to fully help when you felt bad other than keeping you company and entertained, even after he has proven himself to be too much of a coward to be fully honest with his feelings but still too stubborn to fully give up on them, even after he ruined your favorite clothes and left you alone to clean it up.

He really needed to step up in his game huh?

He felt his face burn and his heart burst, he wanted to look away from your eyes but couldn't.

Leviathan really did love a lot of things.

"I... I do, I love you too"

And one of those things was definetelly you.

[purpletaecup]

6 ☾ these echoes of laughter fade into a distant memory

note: fully written chapter again this time, with social media half chapters coming later this week! this chapter is mainly Yoongi and we see a little bit of his side and how he felt in the past and how he feels in the present. not edited, wanted to post this before the concert so we can all cry together!

rlly important note: i suggest you guys listen to nineteen by hayley williams because i basically base this whole story off that song (and some chinese webnovels i read lmfao). It’s one of my favorite songs ever and it hurts a whole lot. I wish i could experience how I felt when I listened to it for the first time again. As always, feel free to vent/rant and tell me your theories about how the story is going to go! let’s cry together :’)

final note: IM SORRYYY FOR THISSSS don’t hate me pleaseee 

word count: 2,523

That night, Yoongi slept in your hospital room. The emotional weight of everything that had happened had kept him nailed to the chair beside your bed. The smell of the air after the rain permeated into the room and reminded him of the day that his lawyer delivered the divorce papers to you, who was alone at home and probably waiting for him. Looking back at it, maybe it was an impulse decision that he made due to the frustration and exhaustion that your marriage caused him. He grew weary and waking up in the morning felt like a chore. You were distant, he was distant and both of you were living lives going in different directions. But you loved each other, and for a while, he thought that could be enough. Evidently, it wasn’t. He doesn’t regret the divorce because in the end, he thought he was doing what was best for the both of you. He knew how tired you were and how you felt being around the people in his life. He felt the same way with the people in yours. Everything about your lives clashed and he thought that divorce was the best solution for both of you to become happy again. He wasn’t getting any younger, but you were still very young and you could still find someone who could love and cherish you better than he could.

He didn’t regret it.

He didn’t.

Or at least that’s what he keeps telling himself. He didn’t regret it. He couldn’t regret it. But remembering how you looked when he came home that night breaks his heart to pieces. Your pale and shivering figure crying by the front door and the way your trembling hands shook him off when he tried to help you up. It was a sight that would remain ingrained in his mind and his heart forever. When you two finally made it inside your house to sit on the couch, he fully expected you to shout and scream and throw a tantrum about the divorce papers. He did not expect the quiet sobs that wracked your figure, or the broken “why are you doing this?” and finally the resignation in your voice when you told him you’d sign it. He remembered, at that moment, that he began crying too. He walked over and sat next to you and took you in his arms like you were his whole world even though he knew he had just ruined yours. With his head buried in your damp hair and neck, he whispered a million apologies. Sorry for breaking your heart. Sorry for wasting your time. Sorry for not knowing how to love you properly. Sorry for not trying.

These apologies meant nothing to you. They were nothing compared to the pain you had endured to be with him, to love him. He didn’t know that. For the last months of your relationship, he didn’t know who you were and that’s what pushed him to get the divorce. You were a shell of the woman you were when you two first met. Your smile didn’t make butterflies appear in his stomach anymore and your laugh didn’t make his heart flutter like it used to. It wasn’t the same anymore. You were both different people, changed people.

In the midst of this change, he was introduced to Yura by Jungkook. A model he worked with a couple times and a really nice woman. Beautiful, even. Almost as beautiful as you, he had thought when he first met her. Jungkook pushed and pushed for him to hang out with them and the rest of the guys and the more he saw Yura, the more he talked to her, the more he began to like her. She reminded him of you when he first met you.

You were 19 and he was 23 and you were modeling at the same set he was supposed to shoot at an hour later. He came early to help the staff prepare for his music video shoot and hopefully talk to the director but he had ended up watching your shoot for most of the time until it was his turn for the set. The people around you liked to say that Yoongi fell in love with you at first sight. He often refuted that it wasn’t at first sight because he wasn’t the type of person to fall in love because of how someone looks. In private, he told you that he fell in love with you at first smile, first laugh. The sight of you laughing genuinely in the middle of hydrangeas and baby’s-breath enchanted him so much that he remained rooted to the floor for the remainder of your shoot.

The laughs and the smiles were Yoongi’s favorite. You were the most beautiful person he’d ever met. You are still the most beautiful he’d ever met, but perhaps it was the exhaustion of life that wore the both of you down. What had started as a beautiful, youthful romance filled with picnics in meadows had ended with divorce papers on a rainy day in September.

These are the thoughts that followed Yoongi to sleep that night.

☾

[nov. 10, 2020]

The same thoughts haunted him day in and day out ever since he left that next morning at the insistence of Jungkook and Taehyung. He spent 4 days on his own, working and living his life but only on the surface. Conservations with people, including his friends, remained minimal. He couldn’t stop thinking about your broken and bruised body laying in the hospital bed, and he was anxious for the news of you waking up but none had come. He received no calls from the hospital since he left, and Taehyung said that visiting was meaningless unless the doctor told him new information.

Yura told him, verbatim, “I understand that you’re worried about her safety, but the doctors said she would be fine. She’s your ex-wife, I get it, but she’s not your responsibility anymore.”

In a way, she was right. But he couldn’t help but feel sick at the thought of leaving you all alone there. He knew it was hard for Jin to come out because he was incredibly busy with work, and when he wasn’t traveling for his job, he lived too far from both of you to ever accompany you in the way that you needed. In addition to that, he had no idea what happened to you and your mom. The last he heard, which was when you were still married, you were on speaking terms with her and there wasn’t a problem between the two of you. At least not that he knew of. Namjoon was on a book tour and Jimin was constantly booked due to his dance career. In any case, you had no one here. Yoongi was all you had and that was evident in your unchanged emergency contact list.

After Yura had said that, he felt uneasy being around her so he told her that he truthfully couldn’t stand to just move on with his life while you were practically lifeless in the hospital, and if that was a problem with her then maybe they should just take a break from each other. He kept telling himself that he really liked Yura and he wanted what she could give him, but he couldn’t ignore the four years that you two spent building a life together. Especially not now that you were pregnant, a fact that he had kept hidden from Yura.

When he thought about the pregnancy, everything else seemed to melt away. Despite the circumstances, the news of your pregnancy made him happy. Extremely so, albeit a little scared as well. He wondered how long you had known, and if you were happy or scared.Or what if you didn’t know at all? As far as he could tell, you weren’t showing. There was no sign of a bump on your little belly, but the doctor’s words were irrefutable. There was a baby growing in there. A baby that was half you and half him and that thought of that made him smile like he hadn’t in a long, long time.

That night, he dreamt about a little girl with your eyes and your smile and a nose that resembled his. A laughter that reminded him of yours echoed in those dreams.

☾

[nov. 11, 2020]

Pleasant dreams faded into a pleasant morning as Yoongi woke up much earlier than he was used to and felt better than he had in ages. He spent some time by himself before his phone was bombarded by phone calls and text messages from the group chat with the boys asking him when he was coming for work.

As he saw the sun take its place in the blue skies and white clouds, he decided that the day was too beautiful to waste on a day in the company. 5 days passed since your accident and he thought it was time to go back to the hospital and see how you were doing. Of course he wasn’t expecting any changes to your condition considering he hasn’t gotten any phone calls from the hospital yet, but he thought it might make him feel more at ease to sit next to you.

On his way to the hospital, he stopped by the flower shop you often went to, the one next to the park with the yellow flowers that you liked so much. The woman at the front, whose name was Yerin by the looks of her nametag, recognizes you immediately.

“Mr. Min Yoongi? How can we help you today?” She asks, immediately standing up straight at your intimidating presence.

“Just here to get some flowers.” He replies nonchalantly.

Yerin runs around the counter to stand in front of him.

“Is there anything specific you’re looking for?”

“No, not really—wait a second, that flower right there. Give me a bouquet of those.” He says, pointing to the bunches of purple flowers hiding behind Yerin.

She turns to see what he was pointing to. “Ah, purple lilacs. Okay, I’ll put it together for you really quick!”

He saw her go around the many shelves of flowers to what he assumed was the back inventory of the shop and didn’t see her come out until a couple of minutes later. In her hands was a beautiful bouquet of the purple lilacs with white baby's-breath. His eyes softened at the sight of the white flowers. The sight was familiar to him.

“That would be 25,830 won.” Yerin handed the bouquet to him and smiled.

He handed her 35,000 won, murmured his thanks and left. Once out of the shop, he was hit by the bright sunlight and couldn’t help looking over to the park. Kids were running around while their parents watched them on picnic blankets.

Warm and sunny days like this reminded him of you. Spending your days in the sun, laying on a picnic blanket and eating fruits, was your very existence.

He spends only a few moments admiring the scenery of people enjoying the weather before he makes his way back to his car and to the hospital. When he arrives at your room, nothing has changed except for the fact that your skin has regained a bit of its color and the bruises began the healing process.

Yoongi sets the flowers down on the table beside your bed. He moves the chair from the wall to the side of the bed so he could sit right next to you. His heart almost stops when he sees your face. It seems like the nurses changed the bandage on your head as the bandaging was noticeably lighter, but he could still see a bit of blood seeping through. The bruises on your arms and everywhere alarm him but he knows that you’re okay and you’re healing and that’s enough for him. It’s enough to know that you were alive and going to be fine.

His eyes trail down to your stomach and he lets it linger on them for a long time because he takes your hand in his and takes a deep breath. Two months ago he could have never imagined that this is where he would be right now. Two months ago, both of you had walked away from your marriage and Yoongi honestly thought that you two may never have crossed paths again despite his thoughts going to you more often than it should be. Now, two months later, you were divorced and pregnant with his child. His eyes continue to stare at your stomach, still flat and showing no signs of carrying a second life, and he resists the urge to caress it. You weren’t conscious and even if you were, would you allow your ex-husband to feel your stomach like that? No, probably not.

And that’s when he felt a twitch in his hand, not coming from his own. He looks down to see your fingers moving just barely. His first reaction was shock, then anxiety. He didn’t know what to do and the shock of your movement paralyzed him. It was only when he felt another movement, stronger this time, that he felt the need to press the call button to alarm the doctors and nurses. You were moving, which meant that you might be waking up.

The moments pass quickly and slowly at the same time. The doctors barely made it in time to see you flutter your eyes open and groan with a broken voice. Yoongi looked down at you, still holding your hand. You blinked your eyes multiple times. The light was too bright to take in all at once. He squeezed your hand at the relief he felt in seeing you wake up.

“Yn, how are you feeling baby?” He couldn’t help the pet name that came out of his mouth. You looked so vulnerable and fragile that it came out on instinct.

Yoongi waited for a reply for a little bit but heard none. The doctor came around to stand next to you.

“Miss Yn? Can you see us? Hear us?” he asked.

You nodded slowly, wincing at the pain in and on your head.

“Where m’I?” You attempt to speak out, but it comes out broken and croaky.

Yoongi is glad to hear your voice, to hear you talk for the first time in so long.

“You’re in the hospital right now, you were in a car accident but you’re okay now baby. How are you feeling?” He couldn’t help but ask.

You craned your head towards him, blinking furiously with your eyebrows furrowed. Confusion marred your features. Yoongi was scared that you finally realized he was here, with you, and would kick him out at any chance. He was scared that you were going to kick him out of you life before he could ever see the baby that you had made together, but this fear of his could have never prepared him for the next words to come out of your mouth.

“Who are you?”

☾

← masterlist → 

taglist batch 1: @victoriedulce @yoongistruth @rebeccawoodrow @moon-asia @koochiekoo @sonderkook @fangirling-gallifreyan @teresaisla @veronawrites @haeilove @rjsmochii @mama-m0chi @agustd-2020 @imluckybitches @dreamer95 @coldfreakeggsexpert @rjsmochii @loveyoongles @selfproducingfanfictionauthor @mr-robot-x​

[macorni]

Talk To Me

  Ship: Moceit

Date I wrote this: 12/10/20 (December 10th, 2020.)   

  Mini-Fic                                TW: Arguing, crying, self-harm in a way, unhealthy coping, and swearing. Just Janus Angst.                                                janus angst

Word Count: 2023 

Janus felt as if the world was ending, his best and only friend broke up with him (meaning they're no longer friends) after a misuse of words during an argument, Janus covered his mouth and laid on his bed to soften any cries and to be at least comfortable The argument was silly and useless, Janus recently gotten back from another discussion with the Light Sides and Remus was there waiting for him, "You might as well be another Virgil." Remus told him, Janus raised a brow, "What is that supposed to mean?" Remus rolled his eyes, "It means you're going to friend them and leave me alone, even if you say you're not leaving, as Virgil once said, 'I will not leave.' But we all now know that was a lie. So, are you gonna leave as well?" Janus was taken back by that statement.

"What? That is prosperous! No I will not." Janus gritted through his teeth, he hated to be compared to that emo. He felt a bit of himself die when Remus said, "You're a liar, how am I supposed to know, Deceit?" Now, Remus knows Janus's name, so it hurt to be called 'Deceit' when he's not Deceit, he is Janus. He didn't want to be only seen as Deceit, just how Remus didn't want to be seen as only 'Intrusive Thoughts' but he kept his mouth shut about that statement, "I don't lie all the time, you should know that, but again, you're a monster, not logical." Janus felt the words slip through his mouth. It sounded so sour and harsh but in such a careless tone. It sounded like nothing at all. Remus's breath fastened, and Janus slapped his hand over his mouth afterwards, it was a very loud silence, "Remus, I- Uh- I-" Janus stuttered but Remus interrupted, "No no, if that's how you feel then so be it." Remus snapped, going to his brother, leaving Janus alone.

That leaves Janus here, in present, sobbing on his bed. He didn't mean any harm but he speaks too fast, and words cloud his mind like air pollution and the words fall out like a waterfall. He shouldn't be crying, he didn't get hurt, Remus did. This was so fucking selfish and stupid. He gasped for breath but it seemed as if his lungs gave up on him, eyes watering and burning. He can't lose his one and only best friend, no, not again. He can't lose anyone else- first "O"(Orange Side who left to god who knows where when they were teens), then Virgil, and now Remus? Not to mention Roman will definitely tell everyone else and everyone will hate him more.

Janus shuttered at the thought. He can't handle emotions well, he tries to hide the bad ones, but he rarely laughs at anything at all anymore. He watched an 15 minute vine compilation and laughed- more of a soft huff- three times. Janus has breakdowns pretty often but he doesn't tell anymore or wants anyone to know, so when he does, he takes the anger and confusion out on himself, example being: He hits him, sometimes the head, or stomach, or the legs. He holds his breath until he is about to pass out. He scratches at the covered scales. He also rips up old photos, to the point where he makes 2x copies of the same picture because he will rip it eventually.

He decided to head to the library in the mindscape, or the light mindscape. The dark sides don't have much, which includes a library which Janus hates. He waited until he was presentable, tidied up his outfit, and then started to venture to the library. He'll definitely see Logan. Janus walked into the library and sure enough, blue boy was there reading a book about philosophy during the Ancient times and up to the 1980's. Estimated 500 pages from the looks of the thick dark green book with golden text on it saying, "Philosophy Throughout The Ancients to 1980's." with a smaller text with the author.

Janus disregarded the man, Logan and him we're on neutral terms, though Logan found it frustrating when Janus would deceive the others as him, and Janus found it frustrating when Logan would constantly lie about how he felt. Logan noticed the yellow side wandering by him, "Salutations, Janus." Logan greeted and Janus gave him an awkward wave, "Hi." Janus walked to a Psychology area and grabbed the books labeled, "Understanding Emotions." "Opening up." "Life Advice." and "How to deal and help with mental illnesses."  Janus sat down at a small table, 3 tables away from Logan, and began to read the first book, "Understanding Emotions."

Janus read for about an hour before Roman and Patton entered to hangout with Logan. Roman's face twisted in disappointment when he saw Janus sitting down, Patton smiled, he didn't mind the snake after the previous Sanders Sides episode, not counting the Asides. "Salutations, Roman and Patton." Logan told the two, waving. "Hi Logan!"  Patton smiled widely and Roman responded with a simple yo. The 3 we're relatively loud but Janus liked some noise then none. Silence was sometimes so violent, it drove Janus insane, being left alone in your thoughts. Patton decided to talk to Janus, and made his way to the other side, sitting down across from him.

"Hi Janus!" Patton smiled, "Hello Patton, do you need anything?" Janus asked, not many people willingly talked to him. Most hated him, including himself. "Nah, I just wanted to chat. We never chat outside of discussions, I want to know you better." Patton explained, Janus was taken back from his kindness, even if he didn't sense it, he convinced himself it was a lie, "Oh okay, I'm not very interesting, just a fair warning." Janus smirked, Patton giggled a little, "Everyone has some sort of interesting piece of them." Janus shrugged,  "I'm kind of ordinary. Besides appearance wise." Janus continued to read, "Whatcha reading?" Patton tried to read it upside down, and failed miserably, "A book about understanding emotions better." Janus told him, "Ooooh! Neat!" Patton moved next to him, leaning over and reading along.

"You should read funner books." Patton suggested, which triggered Logan's grammar sense, "Patton, 'Funner' is not a word, it is pronounced 'More fun.'" Logan said loud enough for him to hear, which caused Janus to chuckle, "Sorryyy!" Patton said fast, "I would but I don't feel like it has a educational benefit for the next crisis." Janus said honestly, "For someone who was people to self care and do what they want- if it's not dangerous- you really don't take your own advice, do you?" Patton explained, Janus paused, "W-Well that is because I don't feel as if I need it. I need to be doing my work and learning more. I gotta help Thomas, ya know." Janus found the right words to say. "You don't feel as if you need it?" Patton said, more quietly, Janus nodded. "I actually have a question, could you help me?" Patton asked, "Uh sure." Janus shrugged, looking away from the tan pages to the freckled boy, "Could you help me choose what gift I should get Remus for Christmas?" Patton whispered, not wanting Roman to hear, Janus nodded.

The two went to Patton's room, "So, Remus would most definitely hate a more colorful makeup pallet- since he does a lot of Special Effects Makeup." Janus suggested, "Ohh, thank you!" Patton smiled, writing that down. Janus got up to leave but Patton grabbed his arm which in response, Janus flinched and pulled away a bit, "Uh, yeah?" Janus asked, "Can we talk?" Patton asked, Janus sat down, nodding. "Have you actually been taking care of yourself?" Patton asked, Janus hesitated, "Uh, of course." He lied, "Janus, I saw your books. Are you okay?" Patton asked, as if he actually cared, which was way to absurd and unrealistic in Janus's mind. The words stung, does he actually want to know? Janus has so many questions, "Hey, I won't tell anyone anything, talk to me." Patton grabbed Janus's hands in a soft manner, smiling. Janus felt tears prick, "You don't really care, do you?" Janus asked, forcing the tears back down, "Pitying me?" Janus assumed. The light blue side shook his head, "No, I really do care," Patton started and Janus looked away but Patton took one of his hands and turned his face turns him and cupped his cheek in the same hand, "just talk to me, I'll listen." he finished.

Janus felt a single tear stroll down his face, nobody ever wanted to listen, he know he shouldn't but he does anyways, "Emotions confuse me. I don't know how to help them or react. Whenever something bad happens, I get obviously sad, and I began to cry too much or too little. And when I don't know what to do, I break down. I don't know how to.. stop breaking down. I always end up hurting myself or breaking some valuable. You're probably annoyed now, I'll shu-" Patton shushed him, "No no, rant to me, I like the sound, I like your voice." he smiled, lovingly, which made Janus confused on why he cared, "If you insist.. I can't talk to anymore or be my own self because I am too scared of being even less likeable, and if I open up too much it'll scare people away, make them uncomfy, or I'll be too much and they leave me. I-I just feel so lost and I do no good, even when I try. Maybe me leaving all together would help everyone, including Thomas. Having no denial or deceit may be good, but the bad of having absolutely no self preservation could do. I feel like him on auto-pilot now." Janus couldn't stop talking but Patton didn't mind.

"Sometimes, I feel like I'd be better dead. I mean, in the long run I'd be helpful if I just went awa-" Janus got cut off by a bone- crushing hug from Patton, "Just lay down, okay?" Patton suggested and Janus did, he laid down on the bed and Patton laid down too, the two facing each other. Patton wrapped his arms around Janus's waist and pulled him closer, and Janus wrapped his arms around Patton's neck, Janus's head resting in the crook of the others neck. "..See, just stay like this.. You'll feel better soon."

Janus felt the tears just pour from his eyes, he sobbed onto Patton knowing he'll never feel this type of love again. Patton rubbed circles into his back, Janus was so vulnerable, anything could just hurt him right now, a shaking, sobbing mess. Patton never knew Janus held in so much, he didn't know one of the 2nd most serious side held so much pain within, he knows that Logan is going through it too. "P-P-Please don't t-tell anyone about t-this.." Janus said in between sobs, gripping onto Patton and his shirt, "I wont ever tell anyone, promise." Patton said softly. They stayed like this for at least 15 minutes, then Janus stopped crying, he was just shaking.

"We can stay like this for awhile.." Patton told him, noticing the boy still shaking, "S-Sure." Janus repositioned himself so he was laying on his right side and Patton cupped him, rubbing his chest. "Cute." Patton told him, "Uh-huh, ssssssso cute." Janus lightheartedly said and rolling his eyes in a playful manner, and hissed, Patton giggled at this hiss. Janus took off his hat and threw it onto Patton's desk chair. "Thank you ssssso much, Patton." Janus smiled.

"No problem."

- Minific by m.acorni

[lordseochangbin]

Do you think you could write a rich kid!reader x pool cleaner hyunjin smut?? I just thought of the idea and my legs immediately felt like jelly dndkddkdk

not the only thing that’s wet- hhj

a/n: so this came out longer than expected sksk. also i wanted to add some humor(not even sure if it’s funny) but just know anything said abt the members is fictional lmfaoo. hope you enjoy !

——

“i swear to god.. i just need some fucking hot ass man to take my virginity! like how hard is it?? im rich, im sexy, im pretty?? now how hard is it to find a guy?!” you ranted out to your friends ruby and lea.

the two girls watched you pace around the room, “y/n, how about we make a list?!” lea suggested.

you turned around in excitement, “a list?! hmm throw out some names”

lea took out her phone, the three of you left to think about some of the finest men at your school.

“bang chan” lea threw out.

“oh my god no! he’s too much, i heard he fucked this girl till she cummed 7 times” ruby said

“7 TIMES?!” you and lea exclaimed. fuck, bang chan. you could only imagine dating him, but maybe not for a first time.

“ok... kim seungmin?” lea threw out.

“you mean small dick?” ruby retorted.

“how do you know that?” you asked ruby, actually curious. you received quite the obvious laugh in response, as if ruby was taken way back to when she was once in love with one of the cutest boys in the academy.

you pushed your custom made louie vuitton purse to the side, making room to sit down and contemplate about any other guy at your school.

“how about han jisung??” lea suggested once more.

ruby covered her mouth in shock, “oh no no no, that guy is too kind to just fuck around. plus i called dibs on him awhile ago”

you and lea kept eye contact, dropping your head in disappointment as another guy was crossed off the list.

“ruby.. who do you think would best suit for me?”

ruby looked up to the roof, her mind elsewhere as it always seemed to be. you loved ruby and lea, growing up with the two girls being honestly the biggest blessing you could ask for. but ruby was of a different character. one day she’d talk about the ingredients in a mcnugget and the next she’d be rambling about how pink is a sexy color for lingerie. lea and you seemed to be the closest however, she was always there for you no matter what and you loved her more than anything.

“i say.. lets go online and find some random stranger to set you up with. boom. we’ll pay him and just hope and pray that he’s some hot 18 y/o” ruby replied, putting her hands together to “pray” to the lord(seo changbin)

“ruby...” lea pushed her a little so she could snap out of her position, “that’s a terrible idea” the three of you bursted into laughter

when the laughing died down, you got up from your seat shrugging your shoulders as your walked out to your clear glass windows. “but guys, i really don’t know. should i just wait? i am ‘daddys rich little angel’ anyways” you replied sarcastically.

lea rolled her eyes, grabbing your ray banz glasses and throwing them on you. “cheer up okay? we’re gonna make this happen i swear”

ruby popped up on your right, grabbing your hand and petting it. “don’t worry, god gave us one life, and we should live it with faith. faith that we will live to see a wet pen-”

“RUBY-” lea interrupted.

“it’s alright guys” you patted both of their shoulders, “it’s not like some attractive guy is just gonna show up out of nowhere”

you smiled at the two girls who did an amazing job of cheering you up before opening the glass doors to the patio of your mansion home. taking a few steps outside, you noticed a white truck pull into the driveway. your dad waiting by the pool as a boy wearing simply a white tee, blue ripped jeans, and sport shoes came out.

“holy shit” lea cursed under her breath

all three of your jaws dropped as the boy walked towards your father, a hand brushing through his luscious black hair as the wind passed by him with perfect timing.

you lowered down your expensive glasses to get a better look of him, “now who may this fine fellow be”

ruby smirked, “i bet his weewee is the size of-”

“ruby, what is up with you and dicks today i swear to god” lea questioned, all attention that was once on the pretty boy now concerned for your friend

“im sorryyy” ruby sarcastically replied, “i just know a good one when i see one” she said, sending a wink your way.

“who is he?” lea asked as you watched your dad point at the pool

“how much you wanna bet he’s some rich guys son who’s complimenting his pool right now?” ruby asked

“none.. look at his hands. cleaning supplies” you replied.

“y/n!! that fine ass man... he’s your pool cleaner” lea called out to your attention.

————

your dad knocked on the door before welcoming himself in. “hey girls, im off to a meeting. do you need money for lunch?”

“no that’s alright, they were just leaving” you replied

“we were?” ruby replied. you turned around to give ruby the death stare before ruby could continue, “oh yes!! we are QUITE busy mr.y/l/n!”

“i see...” you father responded, “ well y/n if you’re home alone i just want to let you know that there’s a pool cleaner outside working. im off”

your dad closed the door before you could drop the blanket you covered yourself with. “that was close” lea responded from behind you as you threw on a robe to cover up your swimming suit.

“so close.. now should i try this out?”

“go for it, we’re upstairs if you need us” lea said, joining ruby on your bed and turning on the tv. you took a deep breath, mustering up the courage to talk to the boy and eventually finding yourself in front of him speechless.

“hey... were you planning on going in the pool?” he asked, puppy eyes almost shining under the summer sun as he looked at you apologetically, “im cleaning it right now but you can dip your feet at the least” he suggested.

you found yourself awestruck at how handsome he was.. his arms, his jet black hair, his perfect jawline, and the way his white tee stuck to his washboard abs.

“yeah.. sure” you managed to let out in a shaky voice.

the boy continued with his business despite your arrival, making your frustrated due to lack of discussion. minutes seemed to pass quickly and it made you impatient.

“so what do you find attractive in a girl?” you asked, turning to the boy

he rose his eyebrows at the sudden interrogation. “a girl.. hmm. maybe a girl who’s a tease? likes to flirt? sexy?” he laughed as he threw a towel over his shoulder

“hmm..” you hummed to yourself, kicking your feet in the water. “and what’s your name?”

“my name? i think i told your dad already, it’s hyunjin”

from there, your two friends were able to finish two films, curious about your whereabouts but scared to check outside knowing your intentions. but that wasn’t the real reason you two took so long, once the conversation started to speed up you’d learned that hyunjin was a college student trying to make extra cash to pay off his tuition by cleaning pools. he sat down as well, his jeans rolled up so his feet were kicking beside yours.

“so hyunjin... like you said. you like girls that are attractive, sexy, and flirty?” you asked

“why? you think you have all three of those? maybe you hit attractive and sexy at the least” he replied, earning a splash of water to his face.

“stop! your gonna get my hair wet” he replied, laughed at your sudden lash of anger

“im sure your hair isn’t the only thing that’s wet” you replied, placing a hand on his knee. the sudden affection made his plush lips part, a perfect situation for you to jump on his lap. and that’s exactly what you did

“y/n” he moaned as your lips clashed together with his. your legs found themselves wrapped around his, your position slowly making your robe tie loosen and revealing a pretty red swimsuit inside.

“do you find me attractive now?” you whispered into his ear as you tugged onto his hair, exposing the pretty surface of his neck to place kisses on

“so fucking sexy y/n.. please” he muttered as you left marks on his flawless skin

his hands wrapped themselves around your waist before you two could slip into the pool.

“shit- y/n im so sorry” he said as carried you to the seated area of the pool before combing his wet locks with his fingers

“its okay” you gasped in relief, catching your breath as you sat on his lap again.

hyunjin smirked as you slowly removed the robe, making him pull off his shirt to pull you closer

“now look at us babygirl, a pretty wet mess” he said, pushing a piece of stranded hair to the side before places kisses down your neck. he left marks from your jaw to your chest, throwing the swimsuit off as his fingers toyed with each nipple. your hands tugged at his wet jeans as he slowly pulled them off, leaving you both with nothing- just as you had planned.

you wrapped your hands around hyunjins neck, rolling your hips against his member as sinful moans left his lips. soon you felt his member stretch passed your wet folds making you dig your nails into his pure skin

“y/n... we just met today and you’re making me-”

you bit his bottom lip making him whimper. the friction was hard to handle even when you were underwater, the water made it easy for hyunjin to pull in and out of your pussy at rapid pace.

god, was this amazing. especially considering it was your first time and you needed it to be as easy as it could get. you blessed whatever deity up there for making such a handsome man like hyunjin and for making him a pool cleaner out of all things, sex in your pool was so much more hotter (ironically) than it seemed.

and at last, when you were ready to release you let you let go of hyunjins lips. “this feeling...” you whispered, “hyunjin i think im gonna cum” hyunjin grabbed your waists with a tight grip, making you bounce up and down on his member at an unbelievably fast pace.

“let’s cum together baby” he said, pushing you into a deep kiss

and before you knew it you were coming inside him, your first experience not ending just there as he reached his high slowly after

“hyunjin”you panted, grabbing your robe from behind him.

“thank you” you continued, placing a kiss on his forehead.

“you planned this all along huh? to prove you were sexy, i love it” hyunjin replied, grabbing your robe and throwing it somewhere far away.

your ass rested on his cock as he felt your legs wrap tighter around him “if you’re really thankful, then let’s just stay like this?” he asked

“deal” you said, resting your chin on his shoulder as you feel asleep in the lukewarm water.

[jjkwyd]

bts reacts! falling asleep on their crushes shoulder❁

ღ requested: Hi bae uwu! could ask for a reaction to bts when they fall asleep on the shoulder of their crush (they even reach the lap) and when they wake up their crush smiles uwu please? Thank you 👀❤️

➳ seokjin-

you watched as jin’s head slowly hit your shoulder as he fell asleep. namjoon was going on one of his philosophical rants, it was no wonder his lids were getting heavy and he needed to rest. you let him fall asleep on you, not caring too much. you watched as his head moved off your shoulder and as he curled up and moved his head to your lap and fell asleep. you watched him as the boys giggled and he slowly stirred. “what?” you giggled at him as he lifted his head quickly, realizing where he was sleeping. “i’m so sorry y/n,” he smiled nervously, thinking he made you uncomfortable. you giggled at him. “it’s all good jin, that’s what friends are for,” he nodded and smiled to himself. “yeah, friends are for that,”

➳ yoongi-

you were used to him falling asleep at little meetings and after dinners because of how much he was working in the studio. so it came as no surprise when you saw him falling asleep during the movie you were watching. what did surprise you was his head landing on your shoulder. you looked at him and thought about moving him over, but it only took one glance for you to see how much he needed this. you sighed then went back to the movie, you watched the credits role as the lights came on and yoongi groaned slightly and sat up, he looked over at you as you smiled at him. “how was your beauty sleep?” he smiled to himself, trying not to react too much with your smile. “pretty good, you make a good pillow” he chuckled as you shook your head and smiled.

➳ hoseok-

you smiled as you walked into the practice room, looking for jimin but stopping when you saw hoseok practicing tiredness written all over his face. you walked in “hoseokie?” he stopped as soon as he heard your voice. “hey y/n,” he answered trying to cover his complete exhaustion. you looked at him and sat against the wall. “you look so tired,” you pouted at him as he shrugged and smiled softly. “don’t worry i’m fine, want to watch what i’m working on?” you thought about it, you of course wanted to see what he created but also for him to sleep. you smiled at him. “sure, but can you take a nap after?” he nodded and smiled. “for you, i will” you smiled as he showed you his dance and you smiled then patted the spot on the floor next to you and held his water bottle. he fell asleep slowly, his head reached your shoulder and you fixed his hair and smiled to yourself as he slept. he started to wake up when the door opened with the loud noise of jungkook, taehyung, and jimin. you smiled and looked at hoseok. “you slept okay?” he nodded and rubbed his eyes. “thank you y/n, sorry i fell asleep on you.” you shook your head. “don’t be sorry, i was here for that.”

➳ namjoon-

you looked at him and took his hair out of the ponytail it was in. he smiled at you, “what are you doing y/n?” you shrugged, “i just feel bad, we’re all having fun and you’ve been working this whole time.” he smiled to himself. “ah don’t worry about me, i like to work by myself, i’m fine, don’t worry,” he smiled to himself as you nodded and sighed. “i saved you some food, i would eat it before the boys eat it.” those few words made him leave the studio to eat his food. soon enough he was on the couch as the boys did some karaoke, choosing dramatic slow, love songs. you looked at joon and watched as his head moved a little, like it was too heavy for him as he fell asleep. you smiled at him and watched as he leaned forward, his head landing on your lap as he curled up and continued to sleep. it wasn’t long before the boys started to be obnoxious, waking up joon. you smiled down at him as he blushed softly, realizing where he fell asleep. “sorryyy” you giggled and shook your head. “why are you sorry, you were tired?”

➳ jimin-

you smiled as you hung out with the boys, trying to help them with preparing for their v live. they all looked tired, jimin’s exhaustion stood out the most to you when you walked in to their dorm earlier. he still didn’t rest as he insisted to hang up decorations. you watched him and sighed as you sat him on the couch. “please rest, even for a second,” he looked at you as you pouted and gave him a sad look, “okay,” he nodded and looked at all the boys. “all of you should rest too,” they shrugged as jimin fell asleep, his head on the back of the couch until it hit your shoulder. you looked at him to see if he woke up and smiled to yourself as he slept, until the manager came in and told him to get up. you looked at jimin and patted his shoulder carefully with a smile. he smiled then blushed, realizing he fell asleep on you. “sorry about that. but thank you for letting me sleep” you nodded and fixed his hair.

➳ taehyung-

you smiled as his enthusiasm was still up, but you expected it as you went out drinking with the boys. you watched as taehyung ordered another glass of soju and shook your head. “don’t you think you’ve drank enough?” he shrugged. “i could drink more,” he giggled as you shook your head and smiled. namjoon walked over to you and smiled. “hey, we’re gonna be leaving soon, so tell tae to finish whatever he ordered,” you nodded and watched as tae downed the shot of soju and you smiled. “hey tae, lets go home,” he nodded and smiled as you put his arm around your shoulder as you walked to the car with him. he smiled as you sat in the seat next to him and he put his head on your shoulder. “good night,” you giggled at him. when the car parked in the driveway his head shot up and you smiled at him. “how was your sleep?” he smiled at you drunkenly. “you’re pretty,”

➳ jungkook-

jungkook rubbed his eyes, work laid out in front of him that he had yet to complete. you walked over to him and placed a bubble tea in front of him. he looked up and smiled at you. “awe thank you, you didn’t have to get this for me,” he took a sip as you shrugged. “you’ve been working hard lately and i feel bad for you,” he shrugged as you moved your chair closer to him. “anything i can help with?” he thought about it as he looked through. “nah, but can i ask something weird?” you nodded and looked at him. “go for it,” he smiled softly. “can i rest my head on you shoulder?” you nodded at him as he put his head on your shoulder. “i’m so tireddd,” he pouted as you nodded and shut his eyes, falling asleep. you let him sleep for a while, trying to carefully complete some of his work. he stirred and woke up as he looked at you and you smiled. “did you sleep okay?” he nodded and rubbed his eyes. “thank you,”

[kirstysthoughts]

10/02 -

I haven’t had time to write here unfortunately but I think we’ll talk about Ben and a girl he’s gotten close to.

He has been giving her a lift to and from work everyday for money, he’s not making a profit from it, it’s just to cover the petrol costs, it’s being done on a ‘tab’ so the money piles up until she can pay the money back on payday - although the first payday has already gone and she’s given loads of excuses why she can’t pay (worrying) but he wouldn’t give in until she does because he’s also been paying for her food/drinks etc. when they’ve been out places.

Sooo, the first day they saw eachother outside of work (Monday 30/01) was when they went out to a chinese restaurant for a meal, he told me that they went to hers so she could get changed and then went to his so he could get changed and then they went - he said it was really nice and he made her laugh by being bad with the chopsticks and he was force fed lots of different food.

The next day they saw eachother straight after work and they played pool. He said that she was less relaxed since it was as if there was something wrong - he thought it might have been because she was still in her work uniform.

On Wednesday I was talking to Ben having a general chat and then:

I asked: What have you been up to so far this week?

Him: Work, seen Shannon a bit and slept ;P and tv..

Me: You saw Shannon? :o what’d you dooo?

Him: Had dinner Monday and played pool yesterday.

My response was that I wanted to know why they saw eachother, like if it was as friends or dates, so:

I asked: Oohhh like a date?

Me: Call meee?

*I called him*

Him: Nooooo as mates

Him: Can’t talk

Me: Whyy?

Him: Sorryyy

Him: At hospital as shes had a throat thing and couldnt get up

Me: What? (I was confused)

Me: Explain?

Him: Got an issue with her throat but her parents have had drinks so she couldn’t get up to hospital

I’ll be honest, I was nervous, worried, confused - it was like ‘oh yeah I’ve spent a little time with her - y’know 2 days in a row and I’m with her right not because I’m driving her around everywhere’

So I was annoyed and worried so showed him, which I didn’t like, because I wanna be supportive. It was just all confusing.

He called me while he drove home, it was hard because the sound was a difficulty so he called me back when he got home.

On the phone he gave me the details of their not dates dates. He also told me that she’d suggested for her birthday that she wanted to go out with people from work and then suggested that he could go out for drinks with her and her parents and stay afterwards - she also said something I found weird, she suggested he could ‘bunk with her’ considering that they’d known eachother just over a week I found this strange, it continued to bother me for the rest of the week - I did rant at him a little about it when I called on Saturday.

So Ben told me more about there time and stuff on Sunday when we saw eachother.  After wednesday she was off work Thursday and Friday but they saw eachother the whole day saturday (the 4/02) - he went in the morning and then picked her brother up form his carehome took them all to the farm that her dad works at (including her mum), played pool with her, her mum and brother, then played football with her brother (Trafford) and then went rollerskating, he told me that at the place he got jealous of a guy because he had his arms around Shannon and stuff for a litle while so he spoke about that and how Trafford noticed and kept asking if he was okay. Ben isn’t very good at skating - it’s really quite funny but obviously frustrating for him because he wanted to do well to impress her and stuff. 

I said more was to come but I forgot to write more about the matter. 

So 03/03 -

We saw eachother the day after this and we spoke about her four just over an hour. 

Since then they spent more time together, on the Monday they went to his house and watched tv, I think they watched Gotham, he told me they cuddled (and then later that week said it felt kinda forced but was still nice). On the Wednesday or Thursday they went out for drinks with two other people called Jodie and (can’t remember). After drinks Shannon said she couldn’t go home because she was ‘drunk’ and said how she’d get kicked out if she went home like that, so I found out that because she didn’t wanna sleep at Ben’s he drove around with her and the two others trying to find a hotel to stay at for the night, they couldn’t find any because they were all booked up, so they ended up in Sheffield. Of course him and Shannon shared a room and a bed. 

Then on Friday he went out for drinks with her and her parents, he didn’t have alcohol (as I imagine he didn’t the night/couple of nights before) she kept storming off and acting weirdly to her parents and to Ben. It really did sound bad and wasn’t nice for him, especially since she kept treating him badly throughout the whole week. He told me that she’d offer other people lifts, with his car and would expect him to take her anywhere she wanted to go. 

The day after (Saturday the 11/02) he called me in the morning to explain about the night before and then later that day he text me, saying that him and Shannon had an argument because she was saying that she didn’t owe her that much and because he said wouldn’t give her a lift that day. What happened was she wanted to go back rollerskating to see her friends and a friend of hers was paying for her to go, she needed a lift there so wanted him to go with her but he didn’t want to go because he doesn’t enjoy rollerskating (as I said) and also didn’t want to take his whole afternoon/evening there, or on his own in the city wasting time while she was there. She couldn’t understand the fact that he wasn’t just going to do anything she asked for him so got mad. In the end he gave in and said he would take her if she payed him petrol money on hand, so he came over to my house for an hour/hour and a half to waste time because I’m the closest person he knows to the city. He gave her more time than he said he would, but when he got there she was outside smoking and asked if she could have another 5 minutes, he said yeah unwillingly but he wanted to be home for 10 because of a snow warning out for that night. He waited inside, so after 15 or so minutes (when it was 10) he tried to shout her name for them to leave but she blanked him, he said that he shouted to try and get her attention. She continued to blank him and at one point she took off her skates so he thought they were leaving but she went to the toilet (with the guy Ben got jealous of the previous week) and then came back and put her skates back on. This was after about half an hour. Ben went to wait inside his car because he was fed up and then after a while she went outside smoking with some friends. Ben said that he decided that was it, so he pulled up beside her so she got in. She didn’t talk to him in the car and then started talking to someone on the phone, after the phone call she asked Ben if he would take her and her brother somewhere (maybe rollerskating) the next weekend, he said no because he was pissed off and was busy so she asked why and he explained. When he arrived at her house he told her he wouldn’t give a lift to her to work on monday and drove off. The next day she text him saying that if she couldn’t get to work monday she would tell work it was his fault. 

That week they didn’t talk at all and he told me that people at work had taken his side regardless of the bullshit she was saying about him. People at work had previously already voiced their concern that she was using him. 

On Sunday morning (the 19/02) she text him apologising, she said she would pay for food for him and also wanted him to meet her careworkers who she wanted to visit to collect money. He spoke to me as all the messages came through and we decided it was either go to hopefully get the money he was owed back or not go because of the morals since she wasn’t nice to him and used him. He decided to go, she said she would give him half of whatever she got that day. Later that night I messaged him asking how it went, expecting him to be home (not with her). It turns out they were still together, like 5-6 hours after. He said he’d kinda forgiven her and didn’t think she was using him. That evening she explained everything, they cleared the air and everything and then on the way home they were talking - he told me that she said she did have feelings for him and thought that they could work in a relationship but she’d want to be a in ‘fwb stage’ beforehand. She then said how she hadn’t had sex in over a year (idk how they started talking about that :/) and he joked saying they could go to his and he could help her. He told me he was literally taking her home, in the right lane to take her and she moved the steering wheel to put him in the lane to go to his house. While they were at his they didn’t have sex, he fingered her and they had ‘dry sex’. He told me that she was willing for them to have sex, even though they were downstairs on the sofa, with the curtains open and his brother upstairs. He didn’t want to because he had worries about it with everything and due to the circumstances. 

So they decided they’d be in that stage for a while and see how things went. After this they saw eachother Thursday (the 23/02), even though he was meant to have football.. And he said she wasn’t sure of her emotions because of everything that had been going on so she wanted to stay friends until he was sure because she wants things to work and to not hurt him. I really respect her for wanting to be sure and everything because it shows that she does care about him. 

Me and Ben saw eachother Sunday (the 26/02) for the day and he said about his feelings and not being sure what to do. After our time he told me that he was happy to stay friends with her, or be friends with benefits but doesn’t want to get into a relationship with her because of her smoking, her job prospects, the fact he’s gonna be moving away possibly, their argumentative tendencies and stuff, I wasn’t and still not too sure if that’s how he will continue to feel because it was during our time so i worried I could have influenced those feelings during that point in time. ‘time will tell’ as I told him.