#okay so idk if i've talked about my current situation much

[minhoinator]

i'm getting anxious asldkjfa

[ofallthingsnasty]

tags: noncon spanking, power imbalance (boss/employee), exhibitionism, f!reader, reader wears a skirt + is implied to be chubby, this is just about being disciplined by sir crocodile pffft sorry idk what got into me with this one mini disclaimer: I haven’t been up to date with one piece since 2015 + I just finished the alabasta arc during my current re-read. this is pre-canon but please forgive me if I’ve missed anything. pairing: sir crocodile/f!reader word count: 1.4k

“Are you stupid?”

The clipboard in your hand shakes at the harsh words. You owlishly blink at the source of them - your boss, whose upturned eyebrows tell you just how  annoyed he is. Crocodile isn’t someone who you should try to talk back to, especially you - too soft compared to him and still fairly new to this job-

Yet you can’t help but bristle at his tone.

 “Excuse me, Sir?”

“I've excused you quite enough, haven't I?”

He clicks his tongue and his cigar dips with it, ignoring your indignant face.

“You don't listen, woman. I let it go yesterday but here you go again, staring off into space.”

Oh. So he noticed. 

It pains you to admit but you’re still starstruck over working for Sir Crocodile, one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea - and somewhat of a hero to your people. Helping him operate Rain Dinners might be weirdly mundane but being close to the man who has saved the people of Alabasta countless times is something you’re still not quite over. You know you’re too old to be that naive, that blue-eyed - but who can fault for wondering where he got that scar in his face from, or how he lost his hand? Working for someone like him would spice up anyone’s life in Rainbase. 

“Ah”, he sighs - heavy and exhausted as though you’re some kind of mutt, refusing to be properly trained -  and puts out his cigar. “It's no use.”

Okay, now you’re starting to sweat. Your eyes rush to the manager - who just blinks back at you, a cryptic expression on her stony face. 

“Over my knee.”

“Sir-”, you stammer out, glad that the words are even coming out despite the cold shower that is running down your spine. “This is entirely inappropriate- In front of other employees, no less-”

A wave of his hook interrupts you.

“A learning opportunity, then.”

This has to be some sort of nightmare - if it weren’t for the curious little head tilt of the other woman in the room, you’d try to pinch yourself awake. Your mouth opens and closes while you try to process this situation, try to make sense of it. You should leave, quit on the spot, tell him to fuck off-

You surprise yourself when you set down the clipboard with shaky hands. 

Maybe it’s because deep down, you don’t want to lose this job or because of the way his voice leaves no more room for discussion - but you lower yourself over his legs, feeling very much like a rotten child and not a fully grown woman. They dig into the fat of your stomach and press the waistband of your skirt uncomfortably against it but you don’t even dare to adjust yourself, you just grip the edge of the chair weakly and try to soothe the sting of humiliation by scrutinizing the texture of the floor beneath you.

You know what comes next - still you startle as your skirt is hiked up by his rough hand. He lifts up your midriff ever so slightly while he pulls the piece of clothing over your ass, the sturdy fabric holding almost all of your weight for a short second. Luckily, it stays intact - contrary to your tights. Thick fingers hook themselves underneath the band that helps them stay in place and you can only let out an indignant squeak as he digs into the thin fabric like it’s butter, ripping large holes into it. At least he leaves your panties where they belong.

“You’re going to count for me”, he says from somewhere above as though he’s telling you how he likes to take his whiskey and not about to spank his employee for a minor transgression.

You just nod with too much enthusiasm and a burning hot face.

You’re stock-still and tense over his knee - so acutely aware of the impending doom. He’s not going to be gentle with you, you have no pretense about that, you know that he’s going to make you feel his frustration, every bit of it.

He lifts his hand from your ass - you hear the fabric of his clothes shuffle, strain - and brace yourself.

It doesn’t hurt at first. You only register the smack of his palm meeting your flesh and feel the force that is behind it, that pushes you forward and shifts the content of your stomach uncomfortably over the bone of his thigh. A split second passes and then- it burns. 

You can’t suppress the shocked whimper that leaves you as you press out the count. “One.”

“One, what?”

You grit your teeth in utter shame but promptly rectify your mistake. 

"One, Sir. And thank you- Sir"

Your words are rewarded with his hand rubbing the skin beneath it - maybe it’s to alleviate the pain, maybe it’s to cop a feel - you cannot tell.

The next four hits come rather quickly. Your head is thrown down with each one and you can feel the snot building up in your nose, blood accumulating where branches of both the external and internal carotids meet, the skin hot and sticky. Still, you count each and every one of them, your voice getting wispier and wispier from the pain.

“Having trouble holding that thick head of yours up?”, he asks after the fifth one, thumb digging into now tender flesh. It’s an entirely rhetorical question.

“Let me help you. Don’t move.”

Not moving turns out to be rather difficult when his hook moves to your neck, that sharp, glinting tip too close to the soft organs of your throat. The cold metal settles right where your suprahyoid muscles connect to the bone, just above your larynx. 

It’s not enough to choke you - but the discomfort keeps your neck straining, instinctively trying to shield that small brace of bone that forms the hyoid.

Your eyes meet blue ones, just above the edge of Crocodile’s desk. You must look absolutely pathetic to her, you’re sure - but there is no judgment in her face, just a slender knuckle under her chin as her full attention is on you. Every further thought is swept away by another hit to your rear. It jerks you into his hook, crushing the fine cartilage of your voice box, forcing mucus into your mouth. Something pops among the muscles, like the jump of a tendon over bone and you balk at the noise, sure that he’ll break you before he even gets to the end of this.

 Yet you sputter out the number six, voice throaty with strain.

Seven, eight, nine and ten follow quickly - and aren’t less harsh. Every single cell of your body is focused on getting from one moment to the next, of just getting through this.

Whatever it is you do, it’s deemed to be adequate - eleven and twelve come and go - slower, but heavier - and he finally rests his hand on your prickling skin after you croak out fifteen, Sir, your throat tender and ass bruised so deeply that your left leg shakes with it. A few tense seconds pass - during which you’re not sure if he’s actually done or not, but a soft sigh confirms it. 

“Up with you.”

You’ve never moved faster in your life, beaten ass be damned. Trying to preserve the last shreds of your dignity, you tuck down your rumpled skirt with shaky fingers, fighting the urge to rub your sore neck. You can barely look at him, too scared you might find nothing but disdain in his eyes.

“Look at you now. What a nuisance.” He doesn’t sound disappointed - just tired. Like you’re a mess that needs to be cleaned up and he just came home from a long day at work. You shrink into yourself at his tone, relieved that it’s over but still tense, still afraid that there will be other consequences. “Go on. Get yourself fixed.”

You’re dismissed with a simple wave of the very hand you can still feel on your skin - that will make it hard for you to sit in the next few days. 

Robin's eyes follow you as you hurry out of the door, pantyhose ripping even further because you try to clumsily adjust it while walking, your face betraying every single emotion you feel. Hurt, humiliation, even genuine anguish - but you’re still in one piece, even if your ego (and ass) are a little beat up. She tilts her head as she watches the very last traces of you disappear.

“Hm. You've gotten soft.”

He huffs in annoyance and reaches for the untouched newspaper in front of him, not even bothering to light a new cigar. She eyes Crocodile for a second as he pulls the pages taut. Something clicks.

"You like her", she says, thoroughly amused now.

The only answer she gets is a sharp tug at the newspaper.

A/N: It's hard to decipher what non-Baroque Works employees of Rain Dinners call Robin -- but she is addressed as manager, so I stuck with that. I hope it didn't confuse you.

[honeyhotteoks]

Okay I'm 5'7 too so thank you for your detailed description of the members and I'm not surprised but kinda am at the same time about their appearance??

Low-key love seeing all the live content but also feel left out as an Aussie atiny BUT I'm seeing skz in October so I'm excited for that!!

Speaking of their appearance, the members of skz are a lot more muscular in person than how they look.

I was expecting them to be skinny and boney but they all look incredibly strong and fit-even Han and Felix-

Han actually looks slightly more buff and muscly then Felix which surprised me and Lee Know is just as defined and muscular as Changbin which no one talks about.

Anyway- yunho brain rot.

I was listening to the audiobook of haunting Adeline because I finally caved in from the TikTok influence and my friend telling me how sexy the novel is.

Idk if it's because I'm going to therapy or I'm too old but I thought it was over-hyped-

I did love how the author described the themes of fear and stalking because when I did get tense when she'd leave the room, come back and there would be a 🌹 on the counter.

BUT I did get delulu and I was reading some scenes where zade is just consumed with Adeline and I was gasping 'like omg yunho could be like this' because his natal chart indicates if he was psychotic and unhealed enough- could delve into stalking territory.

And yes okay- this shit is toxic and scary and awful in real life BUT LET ME FANTASISE FOR A SECOND!

What if yunho was that borderline toxic boyfriend that just CANT leave you alone??

Watches you from afar, sends you messages all day-

Somnophilia thought here-

You don't live with yunho but have given him a key and go to bed with no panties on b/c it's a common occurrence he'll drive over in the middle of the night b/c it's been too long since he's felt you under him and he has to ravish you.

You wake up to his tongue on you clit as he moans and breathes your scent in which eventually leads to you making love with him as he virtually suffocates you with his body and words?

You're mine, you're not leaving me, I'm destined to be with you, on top of you, inside you, I can't breathe w/o you.

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!!

MY FRIEND THE WAY YOU ALWAYS SERVE UP THE GREATEST IMAGERY OF ALL TIME TO RUIN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all........ love that you're seeing skz!!! i'm hoping if and when they announce tour dates for north america next year there's a chance for me to see them

as far as your yunho brainrot goes................. IM DIZZY. i love your natal chart content, and i've been so obsessed with the idea of yunho being like perfect boyfriend great guy................but................there's that part of him that just can't help being possessive and having this sense of ownership over his partner.

i was just actually reading a fic for another fandom along the lines of what you're describing and i was like YUNHO YUNHO YUNHO the whole time. i might write my own version but......... brainrot under the cut

so i think there's two yunho possibilities that i love within this like possessive/stalker/dubcon realm, and one is straight up like suuuuuper healthy relationship but they play with CNC in intense ways and do full on like roleplay OR my current favorite brainrot which aligns with your idea and the fic i was just reading which is like...... desperately obsessed desperately in love fully fixated on reader not leaving him because he just has to consume her fully at all times.

he and reader have been dating for a while and he's honestly the 10/10 perfect boyfriend (she thinks) only.... she knows he gets a little funny about certain things. when other guys talk to her he just has to have his hands on her, and when he worries about her he really worries, almost too much. he gets jealous about the funniest little things, and he's always nervous about change, he just doesn't want anything to burst their little bubble so much so that he's controlling the situation a little too much. but.... she also loves him, and he hasn't really stepped over the line of toxic.......... until she catches him stealing a pair of her panties and realizes his phone is full of pictures of her.

and it starts off like an argument, until he starts to confess his real fantasies. and he knows it might be too much, but she makes him so insane it's like he can't help himself. and the longer he talks about all of those fantasies, confessing how fucked he knows it is and how she really could do better, she just keeps getting more and more turned on. and it's shocking to her too, but she really fucking likes it. she's never had someone take care of her, really and truly take care of everything and just let her exist without having to make all the decisions or take control, and he's just offering it all to her on a platter she just has to let him take it.

and so while he thinks revealing his desires is about to break them up, and he's losing his fucking mind about it, she's ready to double down hard on the relationship and on what they do behind closed doors. so she shocks him when she not only agrees for more but asks for more.

and so that's when she gives him the key, that's when she tells him that he's allowed to come in whenever he wants. to touch her whenever he wants. she wants it all, but all she asks in exchange is that he stops hiding his desires from her, because that's what was driving the wedge between them. he's patient about using the new found control though, because he doesn't know what that will do for their relationship and she doesn't necessarily know what she's allowing him to do..... he can't smother her ALL at once.

but that changes when she falls asleep one night before texting him goodnight, she's been stressed and worn thin and he's not had the opportunity to see her let alone take care of her..... and he's feeling a little neglected too. and he waits a couple of hours for a response, but finally he decides it's time to use the key. so he drives over, slips in quietly, and finds her sound asleep, phone still clutched in her fingers and a video looping on repeat.

he's hard in a second, desperate in a second, and he has to do something about it. so he starts off slow, peeing off her clothes and gently teasing her nipples, getting a blush in her cheeks and making her perfectly hot and receptive to his tongue teasing her sweet clit.

she’s been so tired lately that she’s well and truly out, and she doesn’t really wake up until he’s teasing her wet cunt with his cock, not quite fucking her yet but everything in between. and when she wakes it’s mid-orgasm and desperate for more, and she's aware that something feels different but she just woke up and she's caught between realizing yunho is actually here and pushing himself inside her and thinking it might be a dream.

but he's whispering to her, clutching her close and begging her to just let him have this.... and of course she will, she agreed, but as she comes more and more into consciousness the feeling of him and his words start to make sense. he’s not wearing a condom for the first time ever, and that's not something they've ever agreed on going without before. she's just trying to figure out what is going on but he's fucking into her harder and deeper than before, with a whimpering need on his lips that makes her body curl up in pleasure and she knows she should stop him but truthfully she doesn't want to.

and while she clings to him, yunho's delirious. the feeling of having her completely, of knowing he's the only person who's ever been inside her fully with nothing between them, of knowing that the risk might be worth it. his mind starts to spin until he's a babbling mess, telling her he's going to leave a piece of himself behind for her, make them whole, make sure she can never ever leave.

and even though she knows it's a terrible idea, a decision only made in the middle of sex because it feels good, she finds herself clutching him closer, goading him on. no one has ever wanted her quite like he does and it makes her want to throw everything she's ever cared about right out the window if it means he'll look at her like this forever.

ANYWAYS now i have to write full lowkey toxic possessive yunho with a reader who is down to be fully consumed by him like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I sent a complaint about my upstairs neighbors to our buildings management despite never having communicated with them directly? Okay so I live in an apartment building. My upstairs neighbors regularly have loud parties (?) It doesn't always sound like it, but at least loud music playing, and sometimes that includes stomping around (assumed dancing) and loud talking/laughing or rarely fighting. This usually occurs on weekend nights, from friday to saturday or from saturday to sunday (most common I'd say), and can last for hours. Sometimes it's just during the day/afternoon, which, annoying, but sure, it's day, can deal with it while just being annoyed.

At some point, this was mainly an issue when I had sleepover guests, since they would sleep in the living room, opposite side of the flat I sleep on, and usually where all that originates (assuming they are also doing this in their living room) But I feel like it has been getting progressively worse, both in volume and times this happens at. It's currently 3.45 am on a Saturday, and they've been going since at least 3, probably earlier, but that's when I woke up/became aware enough to actively notice it. (Proofreading and it's now 4.10am, still going strong up there-) Now, I'm not one to call the police, especially when there is no actual danger or physical harm that can't be dealt with otherwise effectively, bc ACAB, but I've taken several clips with audio tonight because I'm fucking tired and am heavily considering sending the management company for our building a complaint about them. The issue I'm not clear on is mostly...that I never really talked to them directly. I know they've gotten complaints and stopped before, and I've left a note together with a guest of mine in front of their door before. Yet it remains a recurring occurrence. I've never actually knocked or rang the doorbell to directly ask them to stop. I live alone and am afab in my 20s, all I know about my upstairs neighbors is that it's two men (though there's definitely sometimes people over, as I said sometimes these occurrences are definitely parties). At most I will have one friend over who's also afab on these occasions. (We are both trans/nb but p much present as our assigned gender in current circumstances) I also have social anxiety, though I don't think it's particularly unreasonable to be worried to confront unknown men, who will know where I live as well, about literally anything considering we live in a society TM. (Obviously I don't know that it wouldn't just go over very easily however, exactly the issue that you can never rly know that- like ik most people would probably react chill or at best annoyed I'm interrupting them or whatever but there's always a chance to run into the exceptions TM)

I don't need to work on the weekends (though other people in flats around us might, idk) but I still gotta like, maintain my sleeping rhythm ideally, and you know. Generally pleasant to be able to sleep at night if you would like to- I do not know what actions they would or could take if they do consider the complaint at all, but I'm not really assuming they'd like, cause them serious issues regarding their living situation, it's more likely at most they get a letter/some shitty little flyer to not loudly party in the middle of the night get put up in the hallway/at the building doors. But again that's my assumption and not a fact I know for sure, I could be completely wrong about that, and I don't know if there's potential other complaints.

So, WIBTA if I sent clips of the loud music in the middle of the night and a complaint to our building management without knowing potential consequences, even though I have not tried to communicate with my neighbors except a singular note one time?

What are these acronyms?

[weak4skz]

Hope is For Suckers

Han Jisung x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, fluff, angst, idol au

Summary: Han and y/n have been friends since before they remember. But what happens if their friendship is severed by an unfortunate situation and Han goes off to be an idol while y/n is in college. When they connect through a mutual friend, what happens then?

Word Count: 1.3k (sorry it's short I'm just trying to get this chapter out)

CHAPTER WARNINGS: eating disorder, negative self talk/thoughts, body dysorphia, a lot of feelings, panic attack

NOT PROOF READ!!!

THIS IS NOT AN ACCURATE REPRESTATION OF THE PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THE FIC

A/N: Sorry for the really late update. I've been really busy and haven't been really motivated to write. I might but HIFS on hiatus until July but idk yet. Thank you for all the support though, I really appreciate it

want2besomeoneelse lixie-jisung-stan jisuperboard mentoslol i-dont-know-me-either mooncallerautumn poisonivy21

this is my current taglist. if your name is in read it means I can't tag you. also please comment if you would like to be added

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When we pull into Chan’s designated parking spot I’m so nervous I could puke. 

“Hey,” Chan says, gently putting a hand on my knee to stop its bouncing. “They’ll all love you just as much as I do. But if you still want to go home I’ll drive you ‘kay?”

“No, I want to meet them.” I force out of my mouth. He just nods and we both get out of the car and begin to walk towards the door. When he opens it, the first thing I notice is the smell of freshly baked brownies. Then, I hear yelling and laughing coming from the living room.

“YOU landed on MY property. PAY ME THE DANG FINE.” 

Then I fear another voice scream

“YOU’RE IN JAIL! I’M NOT GIVING MONEY TO A CRIMINAL.”

“THAT’S NOT HOW YOU PLAY!!!” the first screams.

All of this over a game of monopoly? 

“Boys” I mutter with a playful roll of my eyes. “I know right” Chan responds with a small smile.

Chan leads me to the living room. “Hey guys” he greets the six men casually.

“Hey Chan hyung.” one with mid length dark hair and glasses responds. “Who’s that?” he asks, pointing to me.

“This is Y/n. She’s a good friend of mine and older than half of you so show some manners and introduce yourselves.”

“I’m Jeongin” glasses says.

“Seungmin”

“I’m Felix”

“I’m sexy king Hyunjin”

“Man shut up.” the shortest says with a small laugh, “I’m Changbin”

“I’m Minho”

Then they go around again and tell me their ages. But I thought Chan told me they’re were eight members in his group? As I finish my thought, someone bursts in through the door.

“‘Sorry I’m late guys. Oh hi… what’s your name? I’m…”

“Han?”

There is a pause, a moment of silence, and for a second I regret saying anything.

“Uh yea, I’m Han Jisung. How did you know my name?”

“Chan talks about you gusy all the time. I just assumed it was you because you were the only one missing. I’m Y/n''

oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh there is no way HAN JISUNG the man who is (partially) responsible for my villain backstory is the eighth member of Chan’s band

“I’m gonna run to the bathroom real quick” I say, trying to excuse myself from the source of my impending panic attack. I speed walk to Chan’s bathroom and lock the door behind me. Once I get the feeling that I’m safe, I slide my back down the door and sit on the floor, bringing my knees to my chest and burying my head between them. Then I try to regulate my breathing before I start hyperventilating.

Breath in, one two three, breath out. Breath in, one two three, breath out

I repeat it over anad over again until my breathing is as regulated as it is going to get. Then, I get up and fix my mascara and blot away the bits that escaped with my tears.

I walk out of the bathroom and find Chan alone in the kitchen. “Hey Chan, I’m feeling kind of sick so I think I’m going to head home.” 

“Are you okay? You were fine when we were at lunch.” he looked concerned. Great, now I feel bad for lying

“I just got really bad cramps out of nowhere. And you know I get crabby wehen I don’t feel very well.” I try to end the conversation quickly so he doesn’t catch me lying. “Oh, I didn’t know you were on your period. I would have just brought lunch to your place. Let me go get my keys so I can get you home, kay?” 

My period? Ohhhh, he thinks I’m on my period. Thank God he thought I was on my dperiod because I hadn’t thought that far into my lie. While celebrating that little victory, Han walks into the kitchen. 

“Oh hey. I saw you were looking sick and I wanted to come check up on you” he said while grabbing a soda from the fridge. “Yea I just have really bad cramps.” I lied again.

“That sucks,” he started, taking a sip of his fanta. “Hey, I was just wondering if you went to Fairview High School. You kinda look like this girl I used to hang out with.”

“Uh yeah, I went there. I thought I knew you from somewhere but I couldn’t tell.” I responded. ‘A girl I used to hang out with’ huh. Was I really the only one that was thinking about our relationship for the past seven years. Not gonna lie, that kind of hurt. Because up to a couple moments ago I thought very highly of Han, I still considered him a friend. Because he had been my only friend for so long, I sort of held hope that he would be my friend forever. But I was too naive, I should have known he would forget me. I mean, I’m not that memorable; but I thought I would at least be more than a girl he ‘used to hang out with.’

Not a moment later, Chan comes back into the kitchen with my shoes. “Oh, hey Han. The kids are waiting for you so they can start a new game of uno.”

“Ok. Nice catching up with you Y/N.” I mustered the nicest smile I could at the moment and responded with a bitter ‘you too’ before moving to hop off the counter to put on my shoes. 

Chan holds me down by my knees and kneels down to lace up my converse himself. “What were you guys talking about?” he asked after tying the first shoe. “We used to go to the same highschool.”

“Cool, were you guys friends?” Chan asks, now finished with tying both shoes. “I thought so” I mumble, mostly to myself. 

[batsplat]

i really want to hear your opinion on this. I feel like some people underestimate pecco a lot. most of the people I’ve seen on here are talking like it’s certain that marc will do better than pecco next year, but I’ll be surprised if it’ll be actually like this. pecco has way more experience on the ducati and nobody understands the ducati like pecco does. see race weekends like assen or mugello, he’s literally unstoppable and I feel like he’s even holding back. plus pecco is 26yo and he’s in his prime and probably will be for at least two more years before the decline inevitably begins, and he’s injury free! but the real advantage he has over marc, in my opinion, is that he literally lives under pressure and he already knows that marc will try to hit him on the track and above all mentally. he knows what he is getting into. when he talks about wanting to maintain harmony in ducati it’s because he’s already aware that marc will ruin it. like yeah ppl r saying a lot that marc is going to destroy pecco and all that, but right now the facts state that pecco is a 2 times wdc back to back (probably 3 by the end of this year) and right now on the ducati he’s the best rider of the grid. marc won his last wdc in 2019, it’s been years since he won, and he got his arm fucked up in the process. so yeah marc will try everything to destroy pecco but he needs to be careful to not destroy himself in the process. (this is not marc hate, I’m just tired of seeing people understanding pecco)

first of all, I'm broadly with you on a lot of this, anon, though I wouldn't quite as far as to say I'm predicting pecco to beat marc. second of all, I do think I have a bit of a problem where I have my rational sports brain - but I also have the other less rational bits of my brain. and some of those irrational bits are currently stuck in this mode where I have two different fundamentally contradictory mindsets that are kinda... mental blocks in terms of me predicting what will actually happen next year

mental block #1 is 'you've been following sports all your life and you know how this goes'. like, I've kinda been conditioned to think if you aren't a wunderkind, one of the talents of the century, already a megastar when you were in your nappies bla bla, you're basically fucked? certainly fucked when you are going up against one of those prodigies. you may get close and trick everyone into thinking it's actually possible, but... idk. this is a mindset that broadly stood me in good stead when I started watching motogp, like you just don't bet against fuck you talent. something like 2017, I never really thought marc was going to lose that title. so when I look at marc and pecco, however much I rate pecco there's a bit of my brain that automatically goes 'yeah but marc will win anyway'. it's that kind of... sometimes things that look slim differences in sports, margins that should be small aren't actually small at all, and in a way the end outcome feels like it was always kinda inevitable. I get that same sense when I'm watching 2005 last lap duels between sete and valentino - these are situations where you both parties should have a decent shot, but somehow you know that if you ran the simulation one hundred times, it'd basically always go one way. it's the illusion of competitiveness. one guy's always got something a little bit extra in the back pocket

mental block #2 is that it's actually been really fucking long since I've seen marc win and there's been a lot of false dawns on this front. I thought he'd win the title in 2020. I kinda thought he'd win the title in 2021. I was at least open to the possibility he'd win it in 2022. okay, in 2023... but you could still go 'yeah but he's finally physically fit now' (or, well, you could until the first race weekend was done). and honestly? gut feeling, I was feeling pretty bullish about 2024, partly because I didn't think the gap between the bike specs would be this noticeable. so by now it's a bit? you know, I kinda need to see him win again to believe it? which he probably does too, just a touch, and that makes it a completely different proposition from all those other titles... within this sport in particular, it's really not that easy to recover from years in the wilderness. you never really know if he can get close to handling the field like he did in his prime until he does it again. and... however impressive I've found him this season, which I really, absolutely have, I still haven't seen that from him. I also feel like currently... the magic is still there but his pace is so fragile, and that used to be the really scary thing about him - the relentlessness of his pace. this year, it's one lap pace, it's weekend to weekend, it's how sometimes he's slower in races than you thought he'd be - and yes, there are all these other explanations, but... well, again, if the bike is holding him back, if it's the ducati adaptation period, then that's all well and good. but I'm not really going to feel that's true until I actually see the next step

now obviously both of those things can't be true - and the fun thing about next year is that I don't actually feel it's a done deal. because, yes, people do underestimate pecco. and also because, yes, there's still some real question marks about the version of marc we're getting. just look at this sachsenring situation... obviously 'someone could get injured' is quite a depressing way to look at future title fight permutations, but you can't really treat it as a certainty that it won't happen, no? I feel like one element of last year that doesn't quite get the attention it deserves is that pecco was winning that title a whole lot more comfortably before a bike ran over his leg. the race right after that was misano, where pecco had won the two previous years and there's zero reason to believe he couldn't have done so again rather than take two laboured p3's. that's not a title fight anyone's primarily remembering as an injury arc (cf too the le mans crash) - but it clearly did play a big role and could easily have been decisive, without actually taking out one of those two contenders of competition. marc used to win his titles with a whole lot of throwing himself down the road to find the limit of his bike, but he can't afford to do that any more (if he ever could). we still need to see what version of marc we're getting, if we're getting a version who can just be fast anywhere come sunday - or a very good version of marc who isn't quite that. who knows exactly how much worse the gp23 is than the gp24! who knows how much more there still is to come in terms of ducati potential from marc! we have rough indications, but it's far from definitive. maybe one of them doesn't click at all with next year's bike! we'll only know when we see it play out!

and yet I still expect deep down that marc wins that. it's just kinda supreme belief in his fuck you levels of talent, the belief that he'll figure it out somehow because I've seen him do it so many times. and of course, the other big problem is we don't know what version of pecco we're getting! I have talked before about how historically unusual pecco is as a champion in many ways, which for me always makes it quite tricky to figure out what he'll do in basically any situation. like, where is his ceiling? is he still going to get better? is he going to get his act together? my problem is that I feel like I enter every single season going 'yeah I reckon this year pecco will get his act together, ugh he's going to dominate the field' and then it's just a bit? is this just who you are as a rider, or is this something you can still change?

the thing is, with my fullest respect to pecco's titles, however much I enjoyed those train wrecks, obviously you cannot do this against a version of marc marquez that is remotely up to scratch. like, you just cannot. pecco cannot do a 2022 and expect to win the title. against an even slightly serious version of marc marquez. on the same bike. pecco can't really do a 2023 either. I'll give him a pass for some of those late season results, but if you're chucking it down the road that often early on then, yeah, no

that being said... low key if you ignore all the little numbers, this year is actually a serious title fight...?

like I am always aware that acknowledging this could make them both dnf five times in a row but...? there's one sunday race one of them haven't won, and cota is its own thing. everything else...? whisper it softly but this is a good title fight? 2022-23 were sort of accidentally good because everyone's errors and runs of good forms and performance trajectories just kinda coalesced so you got late season drama, but this? consistent high level of performance from both blokes, decent wheel-to-wheel action between both title rivals at several different races (definitely more than in 2015 and everyone remembers that as a classic, also on course to be more than in 2013 and most years 2007-12). idk, at what point do we just have to acknowledge these guys are pretty good at what they do? sure they're on the strongest bike, as are the vast majorities of blokes who win titles historically. but bastianini's reasonably highly rated and he's not even gotten particularly close to winning a sunday race this year on the exact same bike - one p2 on merit snagged on the last lap and another one less on merit when vinales was highsided to the moon for mechanical reasons right ahead of him. yes, the title contenders have had some howlers... pecco's portimao and catalunya sprints were... well, y'know, and martin's jerez race and mugello sprint were also... y'know. but apart from that?

idk man... we can cry over photos of casey on his gp7 all we like, but at the end of the day these twits have come out with some class performances these last two years. and at a certain point you've just gotta hand it to them. they've become more experienced at how to manage a title fight, which is how you get a version of martin this year who is still fast but is less likely to phillip island it. some of those performances late last season were great! for every martin qatar and pecco india, you also get a martin thailand and a pecco indonesia. maybe they'll stop chucking it down the road so often, or maybe they'll keep chucking it but so will marc, because these days they have ridiculously many opportunities to do so! I also think it's worth pointing out that minus some questionable early season form from pecco, those two are basically always on the pace! they're always there or thereabouts! that's how marc used to kill his title rivals, not necessarily by winning a bunch of races but by making sure he was always picking up points - because he didn't have any truly slow weekends. these guys don't either at the minute! we are seeing them actually get better in front of our eyes, it's great

the other stuff... oof, I don't know what pecco's prime will end up being - remember, actually he's low key already edging out of title-winning age. he's now 27. this century, only two riders have won titles when they were older than 26 - valentino twice and jorge once. obviously, that's partly happenstance, and you don't suddenly get struck down by 'being washed' lightning when you turn 27... plus on the flip side, I also think the fact that pecco has only reached his prime relatively recently means he could have quite a few more years to go. who knows! who knows if marc being increasingly more breakable becomes a big factor! recovering from injuries gets tougher the older you get and the more knocks you've taken! on the other point, the ducati is a bike pecco knows very very well and has a lot of time riding... but broadly speaking I do trust marc with a year's worth of experience get as much out of that bike as he ever will. just the fuck you talent again. we don't know what that performance level looks like, but I don't think it'll be a question of familiarity any more at that stage

so where does that all leave us? do I really want to be making motogp predictions this far in advance? yeah, sure. if I had to put money on it, I'd still back marc, I think? but I really do hope we get a proper fight, and I really do think we might! I'm far from convinced in writing off pecco. basically *grabs the crystal ball, aka checks the races we've literally just watched* let's say pecco absolutely dogwalks the field at a few circuits. like maybe a mugello, an assen, a cute qatar, even a catalunya now he's faced down his demons (though maybe jorge on that aprilia goes bye bye at montmelo). then give marc his races where he laps the field twice in cota and sachsenring. and we're going to get a few classic duels, for the fans. if those duels happen at the mugello's and catalunya's of this world, pecco's might be in deep shit. if they happen at the misano's and aragon's and maybe even jerez's, we can get something going. they both have at least one silly early season crash (also kinda tradition for marc outside of his peak peak seasons lbr) and everyone gets to call pecco a bottler and crank out the good ol' crashquez. and then hopefully we can massage those numbers enough that pecco isn't crashing three times to marc's one and we actually get a proper title fight. and hopefully they don't get injured too badly. I've said this before, but I could easily see a title fight where pecco wins most of the big duels but his inconsistencies let him down. if his bad days are p3's, however, or if marc himself is a bit flaky at times, then we're suddenly having a very different conversation (also don't feel that comfortable in writing off aprilia/ktm and their respective star riders, especially in year two of the factory ducati partnership)

one thing about pecco (that you do also bring up anon)... if there's one trait in his competitive makeup that most reminds me of marc, it's his resilience. he's very good at bouncing back, he's very good at dealing with adversity, a lot of the times he's at his best when he's under ridiculous amounts of pressure... if anything, he's worse when he has reason to feel confident. it comes through both in what a class defensive rider he is and how good he is at dealing with title fight pressure. if there is ever a time where he mentally gets his act together at the very start of the season, surely it's going to be when he has the famous marc marquez in his garage. if that doesn't do it, literally nothing ever will. and listen, knowing marc will try to mess with you isn't quite the same as being able to stop him from messing with you. wanting to maintain harmony doesn't mean your chances of maintaining harmony are necessarily great. but... you know, pecco got his first ever win by defending against marc lap after lap, facing essentially the most stressful situation imaginable with the 93 on his tail. marc made him a better rider that day. marc might make him a better rider next year too... you never know

[dude-wheres-my-ankheg]

Okay so thanks to the current chapter I'm working on, I've been asked about my Sorn/Nym head canons and I didn't know where to dump that wall of text so it's going here lolol enjoy my completely made up Sorn/Nym lore

So, ignoring the very fact that Larian decided to make them maddeningly contradictory by being "Seldarine" drow and having "fled the underdark due to the mistreatment of mens" as part of their backstory, I have made up my own shit.

Much of this is very loose and subject to change

From the drow specific dialogue, it's hinted that no they actually aren't from Menzoberranzan, which I've chosen to keep because it leads to a kinda funny moment with my OC. ANYWAY here are my extremely abridged Orlith HCs

History

So in my completely made up HCs, they were both born as commoners in a Lolthite city (not Menzo or Ust Natha, not decided which one) who, both being very headstrong and troublesome, left their family to make it on their own together. They quickly found a very effective method of getting by - Sorn seducing wealthy merchants so Nym could rob them blind while they were distracted. They were very successful like this for several years, a few close calls but nothing terrible, until The Incident (which I still need to properly work out).

Following The Incident which resulted in some imprisonment and jailbreak, the two decide to get proper jobs for a while, Sorn as an accountant and Nym working security for a local merchant (lol). However working mundane jobs only accentuated how poorly Sorn was treated, and Nym said they should go to the surface together instead. Sorn was initially worried but Nym had the idea that if they worked as courtesans they'd have an easier time - she had heard that drow were seen as beautiful and exotic by many surfacers, and such a role would make them seem less threatening and less likely to draw trouble.

This is how they both came to work at Sharess' Caress in Baldur's Gate. They both found that the work was less dangerous and more fun than most else they had done, and decided to stick with it, making names for themselves as two highly sought after (and expensive) courtesans.

Sorn

In my HCs, I imagine Sorn as vain, kinda simple, very sweet, and a great lover of numbers. idk, I can just see him laying face down on his bed, kicking his feet doing a sudoku as he waits for his next client. He was an excellent accountant and sometimes helps Mamzell Amira with the books. He loves the fine things in life, like good food and clothes, but loves nothing more than his sister.

Nym

I imagine Nym, underneath her courtesan persona, being a very capable and dangerous woman. Good with a knife and a lockpick, excellent at sneaking and getting places she shouldn't, easily talking her way out of situations. Out of the two of them, she is the quiet one and enjoys listening to Sorn waffle on as he does. Despite her dangerous capabilities, she's generally a good soul who would rather resolve issues peacefully. She would, however, do anything to defend her brother.

And the pair absolutely adore gossip. They truly are living their best lives in Sharess' Caress.

[sourbombz]

So my friend made a joke about how I need to stop timelooping Yuma (because I keep replaying the game) and now I've just been thinking about timelooping him so here's a thought dump about a timeloop AU

Spoilers!!

How the timeloop itself functions/started I have two ideas for at the moment

one being: the idea that Yuma didnt leave the mystery labrynth at the end, and he's basically reliving the mystery over and over again due to his soul wandering forever (I feel mixed on this because I like the idea of everyone being Real and not just the result of a labrynth but this is also a very fun idea to think about as well? Hm)

The other being: the emergency exit.. didnt work how it was supposed to and suddenly Yumas back where he started and also stuck. Also Shinigamis not actually gone (because I don't want her to be!!)

Other than those ideas hhh I dunno forces beyond our comprehension (me I am the forces)

Okay, other fun things

Yuma: he's the center of the timeloop, so he's aware of it. He's so tired, he still doesn't have his past memories but he has future ones now! (Soooo he knows he's Number One, and everything)

Shinigami: she's also aware of it/stuck! She doesn't mind it, less boring than being trapped in a book and she gets more time with Yuma! Joyous!

Fubuki: I think it'd be so fun if Fubuki like.. was also kinda stuck with him, she's the time gal afterall! Although she's Fubuki so she's probably more so "also stuck, but also oblivious"

Vivia: I feel a need to bring him up, and I don't know if I really think he'd be really stuck since time in particular isn't his thing? But yeah udk (I've thought about making him aware because I'm a kokolight shipper and POTENTIAL but I'm on the fence)

Makoto: I guess it depends on how the timeloop itself works on if Makoto knows of it/is stuck as well here or not. So I'm gonna go with "he may or may not it's honestly hard to tell"

All other characters would probably not be aware of it. So I won't talk about them right now

Anyway yeah I imagine at first Yumas like "WHAT HUH WHY WHATS HAPPENING" and then after calming down starts assessing situation and trying to like, do what a lot of people would probably do in that circumstance and try to do things better, save people who died, all of that as ya do.. annddd the timeloop doesn't stop and its a nightmare

I dont have a SINGLE clue how stopping it would happen. All I know is loop loop loop loop

Anyway here's some of my brainstorm doodles the first page I did at 1am before I had anything really thought of, enjoy (idk of its obvious but I am also a Kaguford (Makoto x fubuki) fan, I just think they're cute)

There's so much more I want to think about like hey he knows Yakous murder plot now how would he go forward with that information, how would he go about the cases in the game in general? Augh so much to think about but those are my current thoughts YAY

[txemptress]

𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐀 - 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

character(s): Eros Vasilios (again)

manhwa(s): Your Throne

when tf did I reach over 100 followers- I don't check it often and I- thank you for 146 followers, love you all <333

was gonna make a mutuals post, but idk what to do so I'll come up with one eventually.

Before she could reply to the male's taunting response, she blacked out finding herself in a never-ending void of darkness. Until a ray of sunlight shown on her that is.

Raising her hand to shield herself from the bright beam of light, she eased herself up. The room looked unscathed for a room that had been trashed by that male last night.

A shaky breath escaped her as her fingers touched the place where his hand had been the night before. Her lips were still okay it seemed no scar emerged nor a bruise on her body from which she had last been slammed to the wall. The only thing was what happened after she blacked out.. The answer was not found on her body therefore she stood up looking around to find a simple note.

'If you are reading this, I've left. I've cleaned your room if that gives you comfort for me trespassing. I would've cared less, but I needed no trace of me left therefore cleaning the room was most necessary. No I didn't do anything to you or anyone else. Rest assured pretend as if our meeting was a dream. There is no need for stupid questions asked to the emperor.' There was no signature found on the paper just a feeling that it was the same male.

This son of a b*tch just left her with a dumb note that barely answered any question. All he did was point out the obvious. Opening the door as quietly as possible she padded her way to the garden. Perhaps there would be a place to bring her mind at ease. On her way there she heard a muffled voices from the door.

"Did you hear? Someone decided to break in last night!" She peeked through the slightly closed door to see three maids huddled together talking in hushed tones. "How frightening! I'm surprised he didn't do anything!"

The other maid nodded in agreement while the other seemed unaware of the current conversation. "Amanda?" The said girl blinked back to reality as she mumbled a halfhearted apology, barely even caring if the girls looked at her with perplexed expressions.

"I seem to have gotten carried away, I'm fine really-!" The girl babbled on about how much she was behind sleep.

That maid was a suspect for her. She'll have to talk with her later on. Taking a note of her noticeable features, she left with a note to herself that there was a needed talk with the girl and herself.

Finally reaching the gardens, she sat on one of the benches to make herself comfortable. Suddenly a hand ruffled up her already messed up hair. "Eh-?" Looking up her eyes met with the familiar sight of the prince who was smiling with such delight to see her. Ah of course he'd come to find her why wouldn't he..

"Good morning, Your Highness." She quickly got up to bow to the prince who was seemingly enjoying the view of her, to much of her annoyance it seemed he wished to dine with her for breakfast.

"I wish to eat with you if that's alright." Eros said, there was a need to ask first and not order around like how he would to every other noble who walked in this castle for this was not any other person, but the girl he wished to take as his.

"I'm sorry Your Highness but I've already eaten my fill." She had to come up with such a lie to get herself out of this situation. Dining with the prince was exciting and all, but she still had a lot of things on her mind. It was also a good thing to keep in mind of the risk that lay in lying to a royal. She shudder as she remembered what had happened to her lord husband, no, that couldn't possibly happen to her. They had no evidence of her lies plus it was a necessity if she was fighting to survive.

Eros' face held disappointment as he wavered on. "Very well. Shall tea this afternoon be suffice?" He asked. He needed to have some time with her at the very least. All this castle gossip about a visitor in the night could get in her head and that would do more harm than good.

She flinched at this notion. "I suppose so." She responded with slight ease. The air was extremely intoxicated with tension. That tension was not one she would welcome with ease.

Eros simply nodded before heading back inside. "Make sure to come back in soon. Too much sun could dehydrate you, my lady." He called back before leaving in a rush.

Name exhaled deeply as the sounds of nature continued around her. The breezy wind blew the leaves slowly, causing them to rustle softly. Birds sang their songs with joy as they gathered near the fountain to drink.

She watched with fascination as the little animals continued on with their day. Good for them. They didn't have to deal with a prisoner husband, a overly welcoming prince, and a total airhead of a stranger who didn't bother telling her who he was.

"My lady?" A frantic shriek from a maid woke her from her trance.

"What is it?" She asked, trying her hardest to keep in focus. The maid's face betrayed her thoughts easy. Something horrid had happened. She felt it.

"It's your husband!" Her vision slowly disoriented as she toppled over with panic and fright. Something had happened to her beloved? What could pos... No.

"Show me." She ordered trying her best to keep calm and not go frantic over everything though this failed. By the time they got there, a swarm of guards hurried around to make haste. "What happened here?" Her voice wavered, mind wishing over and over that it wasn't what she thought it was.

Then it came. The words she had dreaded. "Your lord husband has been brutally murdered, my lady." The impact knocked her out completely as she collapsed on the floor, her maid shrieking at the sight of her lady but she did not care.

Her husband was dead..

Her eyes filled as her vision blurred, sobs coming out of her. She was breaking down in a public sight of servants but she could barely care. The only man who could ever love her died and it wasn't even a good and peaceful death like he wished. Brutally murdered.. Her heart hurt as she reeled. Who would be sick enough to brutally murder one of the empire's most respected?

She couldn't keep herself from crying as she continued breaking down. A sudden movement came forth around her. She could not see through her blurry vision. Rubbing the tears away, vision finally fixing back she saw the crowned prince. His face was solemn as he pulled her up. "It's a saddening truth, my lady." He whispered, wrapping his arms around the girl. "I will make sure to do everything so that your husband may have the best funeral possible." He leaned and kissed her forehead. "For know please retire to your room and try to cheer up. It hurts to see you cry." Name nodded meekly, completely blinded by his words to notice the male's satisfied look.

Watching her retreat in silence, he went into the dungeons where the crime had happened. This so-called murder had been no ordinary murder. Nor this victim was no ordinary victim. This was a necessary move for his game. The king was down. Now he will move forth to the queen.

"If only you had given her to me at will, old friend." He chuckled. "Maybe you would've kept your valuable life."

[cilil]

I've seen many posts about people missing how common asks used to be so I have been trying to send about an ask a week. Now I send this ask first anytime I follow someone as I really don't want to bother anyone, so I'd love to know if you enjoy receiving asks and if so what kind of asks. Not having energy for asks or being comfortable with them is perfectly okay.

The categories I have in my ask notebook that I file under are in colour. Please feel free to make your response as long as you want or private (the asker cannot directly respond to private responses).

Self, Job/Work: please let me know what you are comfortable with from eh idk just ask it to nothing personal at all.

Baggishield/Tolkien, Dragon Age, Johnlock/Sherlock, ineffable spouses, other fandom: Please let me know what fandoms. I think my main fandoms and ships are Bagginshield/The Hobbit, Sherlock/Johnlock, Dragon Age Inquisition, {Pippin/Faramir Merry/Eowyn}/The Lord of the Rings and I dip my toes in a few that I currently can't remember but ships I don't engage with the canon of at all are: Good Omens but only for Crowley/Azirapheal, Stranger Things but only for Steve/Eddie , The Witcher but only for Geralt/Jaskier.

OC's, art/drawing, their writing, blog specific only

Story snippets ideas and prompts: Do you like receiving them?

Pets: I'd love to know all about them

Garden and Hobbies: What type of gardening and/or hobbies?

Like being tagged in things: If so what kinds of things?

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer.

Oh thank you so much for this, what a lovely idea! And I hope you don't mind that I did indeed lack the energy during the last few days... was out seeing friends and now I'm sick too x) anyway!

Job/work/about myself: Sure thing, ask away, I won't have many interesting things to talk about since I'm currently finishing up my degree and going into exams for the next few months so it's basically same old every day (-> desk and books). I may also choose not answer certain questions if I feel like they're too personal in the sense that me answering would reveal too much about my real life self, like location, identity etc, but that's on me, I'll decide that in the moment and there are absolutely no hard feelings. I do appreciate people's interest and as long as nobody is overly pushy or prying that's all completely fine :)

Fandom: Tolkien, mainly Silmarillion. Happy to chat about Hobbit and LotR too of course, just may have less to contribute. I do love Bagginshield and Aziraphale/Crowley, but don't really talk about the latter as I keep this blog Tolkien-focused

OCs: I have a few and enjoy talking about them every once in a while. They're all Maiar though so it might not be of interest to everyone and that too is very okay :)

Writing: I write and talk about writing all the time so... always love that :D

Art: I make art very occasionally. I don't mind talking about it or answering questions, it's just that I don't have much to show or be proud of or new developments happening x)

Snippets, ideas & prompts: LOVE THEM! Just a dangerous business because I get tempted easily...

Pets: While I love pets, my dog has recently passed away so it sadly remains a bit of a triggering topic for me. I sometimes share old stories about him when I have the mental and emotional capacity for it, but would prefer not to be asked about it for the foreseeable future as it can catch me off-guard and put me in a dark place🤍

Garden/hobbies: Due to my current living situation, my gardening is pretty much just maintaining my cacti collection. Also writing is currently my only hobby due to aforementioned circumstances

Tagging: Everyone, tag me in cute seal and bird pics! I also love doing tag games and ask games and the like, even if it sometimes takes me a while. In general: Never hesitate to tag me for stuff ^^

[notsogreatpotoo]

1, 7, 13 and 17 for your ask game!

hello!! thank you for the ask friendo :]

ask game link for reference

1: favorite or funniest nicknames you've gotten

I haven't gotten a ton of nicknames that I've liked, bc usually nicknames are based off of your 'real' name and I'm closeted to most people I know irl, but one of my friends nicknamed me Emsy, and some of my friends used to call me Mouse in middle school bc I was a very wide-eyed and confused child. but I do really like nicknames when I get them :]

7: an excerpt from your funniest, weirdest, or worst essay from middle school or high school

okay so freshman year of high school, we read romeo and juliet, and i had read it before but not in an academic context and so when my teacher said we were going to write an argumentative essay on which character was to blame for the whole... situation, i was like. no. that's not the point. so i very spitefully wrote an essay that i ended up getting an A on, which was cool because it very much did not fit the prompt. here's the intro:

Placing the blame for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet has been debated for centuries. Their tragic fate leaves the audience wondering: who was most at fault? Can the blame even be fairly shifted onto only one person? In the play Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare, two people become infatuated with each other, but their families have an ongoing feud that limits their relationship. Many characters have expectations set for the two, whether those expectations be that they should be enemies or that their love will fix the feud. They eventually take their lives as the result of a misunderstanding. However, it is clear that Romeo and Juliet’s deaths are ultimately caused by the toxic society and surroundings their own families helped create, and the arbitrary laws of society that their families enforced.

idk, i just think it's funny that younger me was like, i don't want to do this. i'm not gonna blame one character, that's not the point of the story. fuck society.

13: something you really want someone to ask you about

i could literally talk at you forever about my oc insert hunger games fic, the first part and the second part (wip) (i have three parts planned) are currently almost 46000 words and the main character is the closest thing i will ever have to a child. i've decided i'm gonna post the first chapter of it on ao3 in a few days and then figure out a regular update schedule after stuff gets straightened out (i'm moving), but if you ever want to get distracted send me an ask about literally any of it

17: government assigned ao3 tag (choose one you really like, one that seems accurate to your life, or find a generator)

one i really like: Mutual Pining

if i'm in the mood to read fics with ships, i'll find one of my fandoms and sort by mutual pining. i love these fics bc usually the complications are internal emotional complications instead of things like cheating. (note: i do not support censorship. just because i don't like reading about cheating does not mean i support censorship of that sort of reading material. curate your own experience, do not attempt to control others'.) i also like fics that have a little bit of emotional build up through pining or smthn bc it helps me get more invested :]

one that seems accurate to my life: Alternate Universe - College/University

mostly self explanatory (i'm in college and it feels like a different universe)

generator assigned tag: Historical Inaccuracy

as a History major that's hilarious

thank you again for the ask!!! :]

[skibasyndrome]

Darling Simon, here are some fic writing questions! Curious about 2, 7 and/or 8, and 4/37?

Wish you a fabulous Friday!

Hey there W, thank you so much for asking me all of these! :) And I'm sorry for waiting with answering until it's not even Friday anymore ahhh, but I hope you had a good one! 💜💜💜

2: Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Oh sooooooo many!!!!! I really wanna write some classic enemies to lovers sometime and OH okay, this is probably highly specific, but I cooked up this AU idea with @sillylittleflower once and like one of the things that me wanna write it the most is the fact that I could include a good old tending to the wounds of someone and getting very close to them in process scene in it. Scenes like that are 100/10 and I will not rest until I've been able to write at least one!!!!

7: Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

God... the way I always forget everything immediately after I post it. But hmmm, something I REALLY enjoyed writing is this in Never Letting You Go:

Him on his knees to worship Simon, to offer him everything he has. To spell his veneration out, rededicate this space, make it into a temple for them and their love. To fill the air around them with the sounds of his sweet and breathy prayer. Wilhelm nuzzles his nose along the patch of hair and smiles to himself. If anyone dares to intrude on this moment that feels so fucking holy, well, let them see.

Because listen... something about using religious imagery to write about gay stuff? Idk, that's just a personal favorite of mine. Oh and I love the entire scene that this is taken out of because it's something I hadn't planned, it just sort of came to me and I love that I was able to take this very compromising position, but then not do what's most likely expected and instead make it into this sweet little break in between the sex, idk? I love writing not-always-so-linear sex scenes in case you hadn't noticed, lol.

8: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I've recently been trying (and really enjoying!) to write more dialogue-heavy stuff, and I had soooo much fun with EVERYTHING in Lavender Haze, but especially some of the not-so-smoot flirting:

“I uh, I don’t,” he’s stumbling over the words, still not taking his eyes off Simon. “I can’t dance, really.” “Oh, don't they teach you stuff like that at… royal school?” Simon shoots back, a challenging glint in his eyes that honest to god makes Wilhelm's knee buckle. Wilhelm winces dramatically. “Don't fucking remind me… I can give you a really unsexy waltz if that's what you want.” The laughter bubbling from Simon's throat is worth all the embarrassment Wilhelm feels at the memory of tripping over his own feet at some function. “Okay, new question: is there such a thing as a sexy waltz?” Simon asks and Wilhelm snorts. “Clumsy waltz, then?” Wilhelm tries and can’t quite fight the fluttering inside his chest at the way Simon is shaking his head at him playfully.

4: How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Oh god... too many for someone that should focus on getting one thing out at a time. But it's also kinda cool, because back in October I thought I'd never be able to come up with an original fic idea (as in, not taking something from canon) ever again.

Okay, I counted about 11 that I have traces of in my Google docs, some of them already have a bunch of actual writing to them, some just have outlines, but I love all of them and hope to get to them at one point of the other <3

37: Talk about your current wips.

Oh my goooood, I could talk for HOURS about them, this is too much ahhhh. Well, my most current WIP is a Sequel to my beloved Lavender Haze, which has Wille dealing with the aftermath of his hook-up (and maaaaaaybe, love at first sight situation, but who's to say) with Simon. I'm having a lot of fun with including other characters for once, like Felice, her gf, Maddie, Rosh and just trying my hand at something AU for once :)

And well... my vampire AU....... beloved...... beautiful......... when will I do her the honors of finally writing that first chapter instead of literally everything that comes after!?!?!?

And then I have a bunch of other ideas that I bother @sillylittleflower with 24/7 because they don't wanna leave my head, one of them, very, veeeeeery beloved is a photography student AU, hopefully strangers to friends to lovers and very, very soft and! which is new for me! Simon POV!

Please ask me some fun fic writer asks <3

[mingos]

oof. so… hello.

i know i’m not obligated to explain my absences, but i figured i should anyway because this is actually a long-standing issue i've been dealing with that, god fucking willing, doesn't happen againーbut that is what i told myself three weeks ago before it happened again. basically, because it can sometimes be so common, kinda just want to give a heads up if i ever start acting weird or distant because apparently i've upset some people i didn't mean to.

that stresses me out because, as i've mentioned before, i kind of have this tendency to shut down completely during stressful situations and not speak to anybody, which eventually turns into friends dropping me for a perceived lack of interest (not their fault, my fault). i'm actively trying to break that habit & be okay with vulnerability, so i want to be honest about where i've been and where i could potentially go in the future if this shit happens againーin a few weeks, in a few months, tomorrow... it all just depends, it's not a situation i can control. i'm not trying to ignore people. i just deal with a lot sometimes.

content warnings immediately below the cut but idk maybe just don’t read this if you’re in a bad headspace, or a really good headspace that you don't want ruined. no one should read this, actually. just jump to the last two paragraphs. this is just me explaining i'll hopefully feel okay enough to be back by the weekend.

-

cw: alcoholism; cw: domestic abuse; cw: gen. bad mental health

　i currently live in a dysfunctional situation with an alcoholic & addict family member as the last person in our family yet to distance themselves/cut them off. reason being is they relapse a lot. like, “an average of at least once every 2-4 months since i was 14” a lot. this is a long-standing problem. they’ve been through quite literally every treatment plan imaginable and nothing has stuck.

i do love this person; the majority of the time they're not relapsing, they’re kind & loving. when it’s good, it’s good. but when it’s bad jesus christ… i gotta level with you and say i've feared for my life a couple times.

they become angry & spiteful when drunk and, as of the last few years, physical. mostly when i try to confiscate things i find because i'm "stealing their property" and it’s therefore, to their drunk mind, justifiable. this is a mindset i’m still trying to unlearn because of course i don’t deserve it—taking a wine bottle away from an alcoholic for their own good isn’t justification for them almost suffocating you in an attempt to get it back, or breaking the lock on your bedroom door—but it’s hard to internalize that sometimes when your brain is beaten down, y’know?

when not being guilted into silence so i don’t “ruin their life more” or get threatened with being removed from the house by police, i’ve pretty much exhausted any sympathy or help i get from the rest of my family. half of them either have my # blocked or don’t answer under the weird assumption my family member is going to… use my phone to contact them? which is something that’s never happened before. the other half kind of just shrug because i’m choosing to say here and am an adult with the ability to leave whenever i want, just like they did.

　but i can’t leave—because, like i said, it’s just me now. no one else checks on this person, no one else lives with us, and i’ve already had to call 911 for them multiple times. living with them during a relapse is hell but so is whenever i have to leave the house because if something happens to them or their dog that suddenly becomes my fault. basically, whenever these episodes happen it’s just several days (or weeks) of nonstop stress. but there's nothing else i can really do. i just have to put up with it & ride it out.

-

　things have finally calmed down again; apologies were made, talks were had, we cleaned out their stash together... i finally have some breathing room. kind of. i still have no energy to do anything because i've just been in survival mode the last week (& also sick), so hopefully i can be back to writing by this weekend but i really don't know. i'm still paranoid something bad is going to happen so maybe i'm not out of that mindset just yetーi need to decompress a little before i can feel normal again.

thank you for your patience, and for those who have checked on me & especially those who were understanding it was kind of hard for me to have the energy to talk outside of my one or two comfort people. i miss you all very many and hope nothing more for you all to be loved, warm & safe. love you all very many.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

(feel free to ignore this one b/c there's too much asexual complaining/hopelessness in this lol)

Sometimes I'm like "I'm not a real asexual" because I worked really hard not to be one.

I don't believe there's a way I can have a happy life if I don't fix myself. I tried to act like it doesn't bother me but it does. I was so sick of feeling like something was dead inside of me that was alive and well in everyone else. It was destroying me, depressing me, it was too much.

Idk how to say this but at some point I had to fix myself and grow up. I'm in my 30s and I have to compromise or become a different person or else I'm gonna get left. No kids, no ring, no nothing. And that's not the life I want. That's not the life I can afford! My friends are all getting married off and sharing expenses. Soon, I'll have no more roommates. Perpetual rejection can lead me right in to homelessness.

I worked HARD to train myself out of asexuality after 14 years of regular arousal training and making myself be in normal relationships. And when I finally feel like I'm a normal person and I can leave this behind me, someone will complain about not having sex in a few weeks and I will blue screen like a broken computer. Like what do you mean that upsets you.

My desires will never be that strong no matter what I do. I could never get MAD or pent up because I haven't..... used someone else's body for pleasure. No matter what I do, I don't feel like I need it need it need it. I'm just not built to slobber all over another person and have that be most of my personality.

The asexual in me is very okay that I don't live like that, that I don't actually have those strong desires. But real life situations I get into every day remind me I must be broken. No one I've met in the wild relates to what I feel inside. No one. Just people online that's it. And that hurts so much more soooooooo so much more. I feel like the biggest freak on the planet. I hate this shit.

And, I feel like I have to sign up for another ten years of arousal training trying to fix myself even more until I get it because I can't support myself on a single income household in ten years I just can't. I need to be partnered with someone who isn't going to cheat on me and leave me in the dust because of who I am. And I can't handle false positivity with that because it has happened to me 8 times. One of my exes suggested surgery or drugs or conversion therapy and I hate that I'm considering fixing myself medically but I feel too burnt out and hopeless to not try it.

I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time, Anon. And it can legitimately be very hard to be asexual. One big thing though I'd like to point out is you keep talking about how you're wrong, but all the problems you point out are societal. Society makes it hard to thrive when you're single (both financially and socially), society makes it hard to have less conventional looking relationships. You are not the problem, Anon, the way our current society is built is the problem. It's external, not internal. And it can feel like you need to fix yourself, but you'll always be reaching because at the end of the way society will always still be the part that's actually broken.

I know you've probably heard people speak out against conversion therapy (and it is still conversion therapy when you're doing it to yourself), but one of the big issues with it that doesn't get mentioned as much is that it doesn't work. You just can't change who you are on such a fundamental level. And people go through these therapies and usually all they accomplish is becoming more traumatized and more confused. I know this is difficult, Anon, but this isn't a viable long term solution.

What I would really encourage you to do is find someone to talk to, it sounds like money is tight, but you can take advantage of free mental health services like 7 Cups, The Trevor Project, which are queer and asexual friendly. And they will help you navigate not just how to find self-acceptance, but financial planning and life planning. Even if you don't feel ready for this yet, please do keep this resource in mind.

There are other aces out there, it seems like there's not because once again we live in a society that keeps our orientation from us, and therefore keeps us from each other. I live in a city of 50k people, that means, even if we go by the most conservative estimates, there's at least 500 other aces in my city alone. Our orientation is kept from us, and a lot of aces don't even know there's a word for their experiences and a community. And this may sound like more hopelessness, but the other side of this is that asexuality is becoming more well known all the time, more local communities are starting to appear. Sometimes people can find other aces through local lgbtq+ chapters or Pride events. Sometimes there's an in-person asexual meetup group near you. Some major dating apps now let you put your orientation as asexual and filter for other aces. Even outside of dating, connecting to the asexual community can be really healing.

Sometimes it can seem like you're the only one, and because of how ingrained it is in society dating and sex go together, allosexual people who we date can sometimes act in a way that makes us feel like what we want isn't possible. If this happens multiple times in a row, our brains are pattern based, you hit this wall enough time, your brain says 'there is no going through this wall', and it will feel true whether it is or not.

Another thing you should consider looking into is what government programs exist in your city/state/province/territory/country. A lot of time there's financial resources out there that aren't very well advertised, especially if you're in a lower income. And often they depend on people seeking them out themselves. It won't hurt to do a few google searches or check what local organizations exist.

I know this is probably a lot, and I things probably feel very bleak for you right now, Anon. Unfortunately you can't flip a switch and suddenly accept yourself, you can't just fix society and wealth inequality. My advice would be though to try and take things one step at a time. And don't be afraid to reach out. And feel free to send as many asks here as you like too.

Take care, Anon!

[birdantlers]

10 for the ask game

10. The Dragon Ball series isn’t exactly known for being consistent with its story, its characters, and various other things. Which inconsistency irritates you the most?

Omg . This question.

Okay, there are a hundred million things I would change abt dragon ball if I could, but the thing that pisses me off the most is definitely inconsistency with Gohan's characterization. Namely,

[deep breath]

Gohan should have stayed/become the main character after Cell Saga what the hell.

I'm really tired rn so I can't elaborate as much as I want to but holy shit Buu saga really dropped the ball on this and it's one of the reasons I don't like that arc much. For a while before I knew what the arc was actually about, I got duped into thinking it would be largely Gohan-centric. Focusing on his relationship with humanity and his peers when he attends school / his old trauma/fears/idk.. anything negative or introspective?? Resurfacing when his dad comes back and shit inevitably hits the fan again.

(mandatory "thank for for existing, the Red Boy fic" statement. Look it up it's great I got derailed while reading the last chapter and I feel bad abt not getting back to it yet h)

But instead..... No? Gohan frustratingly gets yanked off center stage halfway through Buu saga, thanks to Toriyama's unfortunate authorship situation at the time. And after that he just....... Stays there. In the wings of Goku and Vegeta's story instead of taking the mantle of MC. It's really disappointing to me, and it's one of the reasons I still haven't watched Super lmao.

Ik I talk about piccolo for 172783736 hours at a time but Gohan's character arc is really the one that carries Z for me up to Buu saga. I consider Cell saga to be an infinitely superior end to his character arc, and I think the way it sticks the landing there is another reason why Buu saga gets on my nerves so much.

I've talked abt this with friends, but current Gohan also feels largely void of the gamut of emotions he was shown to have while younger, and that bugs the hell out of me. Obviously he's matured, but the fear and insecurity and loss he struggled with pre-buu arc feels strangely muted. Like he isn't allowed to cry now that he's an adult or something (though Goku got hit with this same problem, sigh). This doesn't help his already bad sidelining.

In Buu saga and Super, his repeated cycle of "BAMF fight where he comes out on top as strongest Z fighter→ peacetime→ complacency and domestic life→ uh oh he's weak now→ gets admonished for it and wins the day again" could be SUCH a good foundation for a compelling character arc, but they just. Don't do it! So it comes off as redundant and uncharacteristically negligent on Gohan's part. For as much as I love it, Super Hero drops the ball with this too.

I'm just gonna port my messages from discord and let y'all glean the gist

Basically Gohan feels kinda McGuffin-ized at this point and it makes me sad. He literally had a CELL clone in front of him and had no visible reaction or even an acknowledgement. He's verbally passionate about things like the saiyaman gig or entomology or his family, but the plot and writing don't allow him to actually struggle with the obligation his power gives him.

Like. He might on the surface, sure, but ultimately he just rolls over whenever someone goads him into fighting again (I have seen that part(s) of super don't @ me). I just can't help but see wasted potential and a character with somewhat weak writing. It really is like they just don't know what to do with him now. And that's a real shame because he still is my 1st/2nd favorite character and I am still interested in his arc. Way more so than Goku or Vegeta's. I just wish they would DO something with it 😭

Anyway. Can you believe this isn't even all my thoughts on the matter hdhdhdkdjdj

[pride-moth]

Preemptive Helluva Boss Season 2 Episode 2 Defense

Okay so obviously I can't tell the future, but I have the sneaking suspicion that some people might take issue with the fact that, in this episode, Blitzo and Stolas are pretty much right back to where they were before the whole date debacle.

And I get that! It can easily be seen as odd! But I have a few things to say about it! (Call copium if you want, but I stand by what I'm gonna say here)

We're still missing an episode.

Viv did say that the final episode of Season 1 isn't super plot-heavy, BUT we still haven't seen it which means that we're not currently privvy to what might have been said in there. With how this episode went, it's easy for me to imagine that Blitzo and Stolas might have spoken to each other and ended Season 1 on a "haha let's just forget about whatever that was haha" kind of thing.

2. They're kind of real for all that tbh

I feel like in my (admittedly short) adult life I've been in multiple situations where I've left things off with a person kind of awkwardly or maybe we were mad at each other or whatever. But then when circumstances forced us back together, we kind of defaulted back to our status quo? That seems to me what's likely to have happened here, too. Blitzo and Stolas haven't really talked since Ozzie's, maybe only business-wise, but then Via goes missing and Blitzo calls him up and they just... Default back to the way they usually are! Stolas is flirty, Blitzo is brash and kind of rude (though he seems to be like??? Way more flustered arund Stolas now, talk about a mood right there, that's what happens to me every time I admit to having a crush on someone to myself) because that's just... Easier than sorting out ALL THAT while also dealing with a whole other problem.

3. Well, you might still wanna have your main characters interact while saving the big confrontation/reconciliation/whatever for later

It's the second episode of the season, so obviously we're not gonna make huge headway with regards to character-development yet. I think it's smart to still have Stolas and Blitzo interact and I think if anything, this episode kind of established that even if things are awkward and lots of feelings go unspoken, they can't really stay away from each other. They can't stop being flirty with each other.

4. Unrelated miscellaneous things I liked

I love how this episode was more about Octavia and Loona (you know, I don't want you to get the impression that I didn't get that via me ranting about Stolitz for too long here, but I did get that and I enjoyed it!) I liked how they bonded over having flawed fathers who, nonetheless, care about them immensely. I thought this episode was unabashedly hilarious in a way the last 2 (S1E7 and S2E2 at the point of posting) weren't. I loved human Stolas, he was so lanky and cute! Also, I love a good massacre, too, we haven't had one of those in a while.

ANYWAY, I really liked this episode and idk maybe everyone else did too and I'm acting prematurely here, but I just thought I should get my thoughts out there okay bye