#omg what no wayyyy this bitch gay

[sparks-hallow]

omg guys I finally did it (again, ×100)

here's my art blog ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

also here's my PixilArt U ´⁠꓃⁠ ⁠`⁠ ⁠U

yeeeeaaaaaah ᕙ⁠ (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)ᕗ

[thatdeadaquarius]

Okay so-- i was reading some sagau posts and came across this one where the reader was an army vet and my brain just Did Its Thing--

So now I'm here to inflict this on to you--

Would guns be considered as catalysts. And would they only do Phys Damage.

Me reading this ask:

😶 😐 🤨 🧐 🧐 😰 🥲 😭😭😭 💀

STOP YOU'VE INFLICTED ME WITH PSYCHOLOGICAL DMG FROM THIS ASK 😭

(Also srry took so long to respond, when i didnt realize how short this was/was just sitting over here 😓)

^ For the sake of gun imagery being a lot/maybe staff might hate me for it,

we'll put this gay shit instead (i almost mispelled to "gay shot" lmao)

☆

Sun: Army Veteran Reader, Gender neutral Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: SHORT Headcanons

Stars: everybody bc i think itd be funny

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: gun stuff, mild violence, mild cursing & Trigger Warnings: Gun fun everywhere

THIS ASK HAS ME GIGGLING TO MYSELF LIKE A MANIAC

You're out here having a whole gun they let you take for off-base

And u ofc have a license so u can conceal carry

(idk how non-american gun laws work, but tbh ours are so fucked idk how they work here either, just that an army guy i knew once could have his gun when he got back home)

And ofc ur just paranoid enough (more like it just makes u feel safe)

That when u get yoinked into a portal to a silly little brightly colored gacha game fantasy world, the gun comes with 💀

Id like to add in my silly little "ur in a video game, so video game rules" AU version of genshin so:

The only other gun (ish) wielder (Mika) has unlimited bolts

Sooo I'd think your gun would be the same jfc lol

NO BC YOUD SCARE THE ACTUAL SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE IN UR VICINITY IN A BATTLE

BC GUNSHOTS ARE A DIFFERENT TYPE OF LOUD

When u first stumble into abyss monsters/hostile creatures of the realm, u nearly scare off a Lawlachurl bc every shot's like thunder to these bitches😭

So not only the monsters but the vision holders think u fucking summoned lightning

OMG THE BULLETS ARE SO FAST THEYD PROBABLY NOT SEE IT

ESP BC DISTRACTED BY GUNSHOT LOUDNESS

SO U AIM THIS LITTLE BLACK CROSSBOW (???) AND THINGS JUST DIE (OR GET RIDDLED WITH HOLES) WITH NO CLEAR ARROW STICKING OUT

STOPP- you're becoming a witchy god or smth to all of Teyvat bc it just looks like hella high level magic atp to them LMAOOO

Rumors of you get out of hand and say u just point or snap ur fingers and things get wounded/just die on the spot 💀

Oh another difference between Teyvatians seeing ur gun vs. crossbow (what they know)

Is that guns are wayyyy more destructive

Like an arrow would get shot but it'd bounce off of things like rock or wood or metal, maybe dent a little depending on how close

But a bullet goes thru that shit so easy, and leaves a whole little explosion behind, once again depending on range

(I once saw a Mythbusters episode? of them proving bullets would definitely go thru car doors, like movies lied to u, this is why drive-bys acc work like for gangs)

Lmao, the image of you in like full armor with a Teyvat made automatic gun after showing it to blacksmiths

Makes u just more convincing as a god, esp bc military training

(Ppl like Gorou and Kokomi begging for military tactics/training ur world has done)

...

....Ok.

I'll address it.

But only so u dont think im stupid later.

Yes, the Fatui have guns.

No, this not the same as having a glock LMAO

End of story.

(Also, urs runs on bullets, whereas the Fatui rely on magic/delusions to power theirs, plus they dont seem as fast or destructive as urs, more "explosions aimed at you" than real bullets)

Which,,, u leave the managing of ppl copying ur gun to ppl like the Qixing or smth, but make sure to give them advice on good gun laws if teyvat accidentally revolutionizes bc of ur advanced gun that anybody can wield (non-vision users)

Thats the best ive got abt that

Oh, also enjoy being praised as a War god now.

:)

☆

... dammit i had smth i was gonna tell u guys-

Uh what tf was it, it was important

OH

Next post is the Eldritch God Oneshot! Look out for it :) !!

☆

Safe Travels Kid,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

[super-rangers]

i decided to make a separate ask, as to not hijack someone else's from wayyyy back

but! 2 things on chapter 3 i've realized rereading:

first is, yes regina called janis hot because she's gay and stupid and doesn't realize it, but but but!!! she then said (and it's canon too) that she prefers to make backhanded comments EXCEPT for janis - who she aparently insults to her face? and it got me thinking, this is a classic closet case, how often has she insulted janis during those years as enemies JUST because she saw her and wanted her and didn't know what to do with those feelings? she's internalized (and externalized) homophobia 101 that girl omg

and also, about gretchen bc i do also love "mama called me beautiful, don't believe her anymore", it's the only time i've cried during that movie, and SHE HELPS REGINA! WITH THE HEAVY BOOKS! and you wrote it so casually, the girl insulted her, scared her, then backtracked and got kind again and gretchen helped her because of that! it's so good to see that when she's kind, regina gets the help she so wanted in the beginning of the scene, gretchen just helps with the textbooks without even thinking about, BECAUSE SHE'S NOT SCARED ANYMORE, SHE'S NOT A LACKEY, SHE IS A FRIEND AND THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO FOR EACH OTHER! regina, girl, you lost so much by being a bitch in the past :(

(sorry i spiraled a bit with this, had to stop reading for a bit cause it sparked SO many feelings)

Yeah, in my head like 95% of Regina’s insults to Janis are just unresolved attraction 😅

Gretchen my angel 😭😭😭

She's so good to Regina. I think they balance each other out well and really fit together. The best besties in all of North Shore (except for Damian and Janis lol). You're right, Regina missed out on a lot while she was mean, but at least she got there in the end!

[yearning-and-arson]

ur opinions r so real & so is your music taste . since i dont know what else to say obligatory blorbo infodump section here -an orange (real) :D

Omg thanks!! I have a hard time articulating words about my blorbos so I will some blorbo bingos but with characters of my choosing :) I’ll do Steve Harrington (the blorbo ever) and another Nancy Wheeler because I love her so so much, and then my two favorite Riverdale characters because they’ve been on my mind 24/7 and I gotta rant about them, this post is rather long :D

Steve Harrington (THE blorbo):

He’s just simply the guy ever, silly dude with the most gender, he’s my babygirl, girlfriend material, they get all the bitches, she should be allowed to wear a skirt, need I say more? (Sadly no bingo for Steve)

Nancy Wheeler (I love her I love her I love her I love her I lo-):

Got a bingo for Nance! *pats her head* this girl can hold so much angst, she has the brain cell, she should be allowed to go insane, someone (Robin) save her from that awful love triangle, she deserves the world, i want to put her in a blender and watch her bounce around in there, I simply don’t understand how people hate her, like I respect their opinions but they’re just wrong

Now onto my Riverdale blorbos, this show is insanely unhinged but I simply can’t get enough, and for the love of god I wish they would stop traumatizing my beloveds (also I’m going to school in Jughead cosplay today because he’s simply so gender even though I do not care for him as a character)

Archie Andrews (my son):

He is but a boy, he’s a golden retriever, he’s an absolute idiot, like so incredibly stupid and unhealthily selfless (Archie son listen to me Hiram murdering all those people IS NOT YOUR FAULT), he needs sooooo much therapy, he needs to stop finding every excuse to take his shirt off (sir your father was just shot please put your tits away), i wish his relationship with Veronica was more than just them having a short conversation then fucking (it’s seriously so annoying I have to skip through so many sex scenes, they could be so cute but they don’t do anything except for that and it pisses me off), I love him <3, He simply doesn’t know how to human, he’s trying his best, I want to hug him so fucking badly, got a bingo for my boy

Betty Cooper (the love of my life):

GET THIS GIRL SOME FUCKING THERAPY!!! REAL THERAPY NOT JUST REFILLING HER ADDERAL! This bitch is so fucked up it’s not even funny, her dad’s a serial killer, she got sent to a corrupt nunnery and drugged, all of her tuition money was given to the cult her fucking mom’s in, she is held to wayyyy too high of expectations and definitely has body issues, internalized homophobia and heteronormativity has this girl in such a tight grip (she’s lesbian and asexual), like the whole first episode of the show is her forcing herself to be in love with Archie and then she has her sexual awakening via Veronica Lodge (don’t even get me started on how gay those two are for each other), I really wish her and Jughead were just besties because I simply do not like them romantically (they are mlm/wlw solidarity and in a qpr), she is on my mind always, I really just want to hug her like she is so fucked up, I am so incredibly gay for her like I would not mind if she held a stake to my throat and threatened to murder me, her in the midnights club episode of season three is like one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen she is just so pretty

Alright that’s the end of my rant, I’m sure there’s some more thoughts up in my brain, but this is it for now! I noticed that my blorbos from both these shows are a bisexual himbo and a badass traumatized asexual lesbian who date at some point in the show but I don’t like them together. Interesting.

[lesbianfreyja]

ok i know u hate shameless now but thoughts on the new scenes?

i dont have thoughts since i didnt watch it but from what i’ve seen of gifs, i will be saying something super bitchy under the cut, for several paragraphs

PSA: i’m about to be a huge bitch for awhile. seriously, nothing nice is about to be said. please do not read if you like the show because live and let live but i hate the show itself.

they realllllyyy tossed their 2 gays in jail and it’s meant to be soooo progressive and iconic somehow, and romantic????? even though mickey threatens him with a shiv and theyve been straight up fucking with MAYO this entire goddamn time because we LOVE a dual yeast infection!!!!!! they never have prep and half the time theyre banging with their underwear on 😭😭😭 have the shameless writers EVER gotten laid? and specifically gay sex as well is portrayed so badly sdnflksjdlfkj it’s so weirdd please stop making me look at it

anyway enough of the fixation on the sex because i could literally go for hours but ALSO……it’s taken TEN YEARS for a mutual ‘ily’ like the bar has been buried deep, deep in the earth’s core and people are still lauding it okkkk…..not to mention that apparently theyre getting married? by HIJACKING the wedding of ian’s little sister?? thats so shitty lol and mickey has a black eye because god forbid theres any gay tenderness without the underlying violence that theyre apparently STILL playing with five years later like omg did you learn nothingggg from s4/5 it’s so done it’s so boring. having to undercut love with violence bc toxic masculinity is the most tired thing on earth, and i say that as someone who watches always sunny and yes: im SICK TO DEATH!!! of this happening with mac and dennis too oh my god, but shameless specifically is bad with it because none of the other relationships are treated this wayyyy

also apparently terry tries to burn down their wedding because why NOT….lets throw some more trauma onto this. nobody wants to see terry anymore and hes such a violent homophobe but like. and i cant say if this is still true because i havent watched in several years but last time i checked terry was an ~outlier~ he was like the only one who had a problem with gay ppl and they ratcheted it up to a ten which is soooo disingenuous to the actual gay experience but i digress….the point is why would they have him traumatize mickey at his second wedding was the y*v*g*y disaster not bad enough. i had to sit through so many fics about mickey being a dad to the product of his rape i really cannot do this againnn 

anyways clearly im digressing to problems with sh*meless overall and not just from this season so i’ll stop. and this is just the ianmickey stuff like i can’t even BEGIN to talk about the issues with fiona, debbie, frank, and lip because this post is already stupidly long. i will just say that i hate theyre bringing them back to the dugout, for no specific reason but it just feels like the writers continuing to spit in the faces of fans since we’re the ogs who made the dugout special and they treated it like trash. anyways

tldr; WHY ARE THEY THREATENING EACH OTHER IN JAIL AND HAVING IT POSED AS ROMANTIC.

[lifesucksheres20bucks]

STRANGER THINGS SEASON 3 EP 3: THE CASE OF THE MISSING LIFEGUARD REVIEW (SPOILERS BABYY)

-im loving this friendship but man i wish they hadn’t made el jealous of max last season, fkg useless

- my poor baby will just wants to play D&D. SOMEONE PLAY WITH HIM

- ok i loveeee hop but like hes a father now he cant act the way he did when he was alone. He doesnt seem mentally fit to actually parent right

- I really like el’s romper lol

- Im kinda confused to whats happening to billy bc its a lot different to will’s possesion

- Will in his costume is literally me being a fucking huge ass nerdy/fangirl and the boys are my friends like wtf is happening

- That dad bod just keeps getting daddier everytime (NOT in a sexual way i just didnt know how to explain it lol)

- Also i love the fact that david went from dad bod to like super shreaded for hellboy

- Hop is being super fucking selfish this season and idk how i feel about that

- Hes doing it with el and with the people around him

- Like love him but step off your high horse buddy

- Joyce wouldnt just bullshit you like that and you know it

- Love me some cute ass jancy

- Wow i hate seeing nancy being torn appart like that

- Lmao steve: the worlds most subtle spy

- Poor will i just want to give him a hug

- Bylers feels ugh idk what to think about this argument

- So is that how they are going to adress will being gay or is mike saying will isnt interested in girl at the moment

- I really fkg wish i was as cool as these kids, seriously props to all the actors yall are fkg amazing

- Does it show i really want to be in the show

- Poor el she deserves a break too

- We all talk about will’s trauma bc it was the most visible but like el through a lot of shit too

- Bob :(

- The “russian” dude they were following looked a lot more like a cali surfer dude then russian

- WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GOGO YASSSSSSS WHAM! BITCHES

- robin is the only one super invested in the russian thing and she doesnt even “care”

- Robin: a goddamm genius

- Okay actually EVERYONE has trauma and no one is really dealing with it in a healthy way

- The byers cant leave, i will cry

- Wow cool gun shot (as in scene)

- OMG TINY BABIES THE FEEEEELS

- also i want my own castle byers

- Im relating wayyyy too much to Will this season. This like happened to me.

- Also wow noah you’re so fkg talented im so mad you havent won anything yet you deserve so many awards for this

- Noooooo castle byers. Oh will sweetie pls just hug someone

- Once again steve and dustin the most subtle spies ever

- Man i didnt know panda express was that valuable

- Ouff hopper needs a refresher in hand to hand combat

- I want billy’s curls

- We love some matching trench coats

- Bye bye miss american pie, man im loving these bangers

- You know what they say a couple that murders together stays together

- Hi i still want to be on the show lol im going to be saying this until i make it on!

[xhaotixaesthetica]

College! Jaebum x Kinda Mad Genius! Reader

Starlink Intergalactic Navigator 

You are in: a genetic mutation of Gaia, the dwarf planet 

look at this cute ass idiot ugh my heart

so WE’RE GONNA SPICE HIS AU UP A BIT totally not because I’m already sick of the same reader inserts, just enjoy this as a story and don’t complain pls

in this au you’re an astrophysics and computer programming major, minoring in bioengineering

in other words, you’re smart af

like you’re one of those child prodigy kids

Graduated high school early and took a bunch of AP's and CLEP tests so you’re way ahead and somewhere in between a junior and a senior but since you’re so young, you just say you’re a junior

you literally have the IQ of a genius and a bunch of Ivy league schools got in a fight over you but you were like nah nah i want something fUn so you came to SEOUL WOO HOO

you get A's in everything without even trying but that's OK because it leaves more room for you to do more SCIENCE

currently in a polyamorous relationship between you, Math, and Science

you’re really fascinated by the complexity of the universe but at the same time really into physics and math so when you found out that astrophysics existed when you were like 12, you knew that was it for you

you barely have time to eat, much less be fashionable, so you wear pretty nothing but jeans, huge hoodies, Converse, and a super hero t-shirt underneath (same but just because i’m too broke to dress nice)

with good brains comes bad everything else and you’re a hot fucking mess

clumsy, notes scattered all over the place, writing astrophysics shit in the margins of all your papers and doodling constellations on them while the professor lectures, it’s bad

you’re actually kind of extroverted and hyper but you just focus all that energy into astrophysics so everyone thinks you’re a hermit

you’re not obsessed with video games and comic books specifically, you’re just obsessed with space

like Star Wars, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Ender's Game, Prey, Alien, Dead Space, and even Halo, you love em all, cause fuCkinGH spACE MAN same i’m a space gay

you aLwAyS pLaYS THE FUCKIN SPACE OVERTURE ON YOUR PHONE AND WALK IN SLOW MO INTO YOUR APARTMENT AND YOUR ROOMMATE IS LIKE I HAD TO WATCH THAT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES

always writing reminders on yourself but they only help 60% of the time because you’re a hot mess

you can play the harp and the sitar?? the most random ass instruments, you literally have your harp in your bedroom and your sitar in your lab and like they were gifts from one of your cousins and you’re really protective over them

whenever you have a mental block you sit cross-legged and start playing your harp/sitar and chanting OM or the lyrics to We Will Rock You and your roommates are like omg they really are a mad scientist

you don't mind relationships but like no one wants to be with you cause they think you’re kind of fucking insane so you try not to think about it and just blow stuff up in the chem lab

like you’re really excited, you’ll gladly talk to people and you’re really bubbly and happy and friendly but all you talk about is astrophysics??? and you’re not on like level one, no you started reading college level astrophysics books when you were 14, you’re like wayyyy past PhD level so it's like you’re speaking another language

and no one wants to hang out with you like they think it's cute how passionate you are and how fucking just warm and open you are but still no one wants to be around you cause you’re like some sort of mad scientist and they're not interested in what you’re talking about

but you keep a smile on your face and keep to your astrophysics even though you start to think something's wrong with you and start getting kinda sad

aw bby :’(

and tHEN THEY WERE ROOMMATES that's when Jaebum came along

Jaebum is majoring in Ancient Studies and minoring in Greek and he’s Captain of the Football Team

pretty much every male-attracted person likes him but ain't no one going near that boy cause he is T E R R I F Y I N G

wears all black and never says anything and then when you talk to him he just has this resting bitch face on with no expression and everyone's like I’ll I’ljust go now and he just continues reading

he’s always reading with his earbuds in, you bother him it's your funeral

and it's weird cause like he has friends a precious few and ppl know he's not cold with them so why’s he ALWAYS COLD AND APATHETIC TO EVERYONE ELSE LIKE YOU GOOD MATE???

knows he's terrifying and uses it to his advantage

has no problem glaring down people who reach for the same thing at the supermarket or try cutting in front of him at starbuck’s and they near shit themselves

does not give two shits about all the people staring at him all the time as long as they don't talk to him or interrupt his reading

stays at home unless he's at class, practice, or a game

on the Dean’s List, and a massive teacher’s pet

but still, people just like to admire him for his looks and gush about how mysterious he is and that really irks him cause no one wants to actually spend the time to get to know him he’s not even that mysterious, he’s actually a bit of a crackhead so he's like i don't need y'all i have the Gupta Dynasty to keep me company

youngjae and yugyeom rolling their eyes, like HeRe HyUnG GOES AGAIN

knows more about ancient worlds than the current world?? like sometimes mark catches him staring at technology like it's an alien concept and he's like dude you've had a cell phone since you were like 12, when was the last time you had a break from reading that, chill out for a second and come back to modern times

and jb just scoffs like i don't need your modern times and buries his head in the book again but he just wants someone who's able to talk about the present AND the past with him without ignoring one cause he thinks both are really important

anyways one day you were late to an 8am class and you were rushing and dropped some papers and Jaebum came across it and he was like what in ThE HELL IS THIS cause first of all it was almost completely illegible and then when he did manage to read it, he couldn't understand it cause it was real complex math and science shit and he looked at the name and he knew who you were cause you’re the campus genius and the campus crazy

so he hunts you down until he comes across your lab later on in the day and you’re frantically looking through your BILLIONS OF PILES of looseleaf paper and jb's just thinking about how much of a fit jinyoung would have if he saw this tomfoolery

and he handed you your stuff and you were so grateful and friendly and you reminded him of a crazier version of youngjae

he couldn't help but be curious when he saw the really complicated math and science going on on your paper and he was like what's that, how does it work, what's the history

for a full fifteen seconds, you looked at him like he was god incarnate and you like i'M gLaD yOu AsKeD

and you were talking really fast but the way your eyes lit up when you talked about astrophysics and the way the sun from the window illuminated your features jfc

jb didn't believe in love in first sight he swore he didn't

unless it was you

like even if you weren’t conventionally pretty and most people wouldn't even notice you, bummie didn’t care, it was like you were the goddamn sun or something

he stops you in the middle of explaining and he's like look you're going a bit too fast, so could you repeat what you said but just a lil bit . . . slower

and for a long moment, you were stunned jungshook because like this boi . . . this devastatingly handsome boy who blows everyone off and makes them wet their pants in fear wants to hear me rant to him about astrophysics

and he actually wants you to slow it down so he can understand instead of just pretending to listen

and like you may be a genius but JB just broke your brain for a second

but then you jump back into it like yeah sure

and jae honestly finds you fucking adorable like how excited you get about astrophysics and he actually finds himself interested in it and then he starts talking about ancient cultures and greek and you already kinda know everything he's talking about and enjoy the conversation and he's all heart eyes

gets protective over you after like 2 days???

you don't care, you’re just happy there's someone who thinks you’re interesting so you don't even notice him glaring at anyone who talks to you and always hanging around you to scare other guys off

tbh bummie doesn't really comprehend why people don't like being around you cause like??? you’re so fucking pretty and cute?? you took all his uwus reader

only takes like 10 days before JB finds out you’re really affectionate and you’re hugging and cuddling all the time but he actually???likes it

and soon he's the one begging you for cuddles and you’re like ( ^_^) ofc babe lemme just finish doing these calculations right quick and JB's like asdfghjkl did they just call me what i think they just called me

but like you guys are always hanging at your lab and since JB doesn't really talk except with you and his friends and you never talk about anything but astrophysics on the off chance she gets back to the dorm in time enough to talk at all no one knows that you guys are even hanging out

it's not long after that jae asks you out and he takes you to an amusement park and you have a FiElD dAy because sooooooo much math? and pretty colors? and cotton candy? and he's made you the happiest person ever and in that moment when he sees your face he just can't help himself like pls be my s/o and you’re like ASDFGHJKL ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME RIGHT NOW JFC OFC

and he just drops a bomb on his friends like they're all going out to dinner and he brings you and he's got his arm around your waist and he's just like guys meet my s/o and everyone's choking like S/O We ThOuGhT YoU wErE aRo oR sMtHiNG and for a minute they're so confused because no one even knew jaebum was talking to someone much less the mad scientist person when did this happen

and like they can see all throughout dinner that you’re really fucking strange but it's kind of cute and it makes bummie happy so Welcome to the Family, we have cookies

lol friends? nope, say goodbye to those, everyone is so terrified of bummie and his resting bitch face and them muscles that they refuse to come near you cause you’ve basically got Jaebum stamped on your forehead but that's ok because somehow you became really good friends with his friends and like you have this group chat that jae's not in specifically so they can share embarrassing things for you to tease him about later

but bummie highkey encourages it because if he pretends to get mad, you’ll play your harp for him and he loves that shit

jaebum will knock the living daylights out of anyone who mistreats you or makes you feel bad

like one time yall were walking back after a date and this dude grabbed your ass and was about to open his mouth to say some vulgar shit but he didn’t even get the chance before jaebum LEAPED ON HIM LIKE A FUCKING INSECT AND MOWED HIS ASS D O W N

jae had like two scratches on him meanwhile the dude on the floor probably needed a goddamn ambulance and he just took your hand and continued walking like anyways, like i was saying, no one can give me a valid reason why I shouldn’t get a cat

yall will 10/10 adopt a cat together

well it was supposed to be one but yall were weak bitches, so it turned into 3 same

at first yall rotated the cats between y’all’s apartments but then you were both like let’s just fucking move in together omfg

bam bam constantly breaks into your apartment to play with your cats

you come and cheer jae on at his football games

the first time everyone was SHOOK 

for fuck’s sake, you just learned what a touchdown was when you infiltrated a superbowl party for the food sAME, why tf were you even here

but then they saw jae beam at you and they were like omfg, they’re these people

when they win, he runs up and scoops you into his arms and spins you around, pressing a bunch of kisses all over your face and calling ou his good luck charm and you’re screaming at him for hugging you while he’s sweaty and gross even though you’re laughing and kissing him back

when he loses, you and him go to McDonalds after he showers and you just sit at a table eating while he nuzzles his head in your neck and sulks

reader, i highkey advise you to get a couple tats or a body piercing and not tell him

just have your hoodie off one day so he happens to see the tat/piercing and you’ll see his eyes darken and he’s trying to keep calm like

“i didn’t know you had tattoos/piercings”

and he’s looking down at you so intensely he’s almost glaring

“i do, wanna try and find them all?”

you did it

you activated beast mode

whenever jae sees you upset or sad, he’ll just engulf you with his whole body and you can smell his aftershave and feel his warmth while he puts on calming music and tells you greek myths in that smooth, soothing voice

and when you have your head on his chest, half asleep, he’ll just kind of stop for a second because holy fuuck, you’re so gorgeous and you’re his? how did he land you?? he’s the luckiest guy in the world?

and when you look up, wondering why he stopped talking, you see him looking at you with just this really soft, mushy look of complete adoration and before you can even say anything, he’s like i fucking love you

I WAS GONNA WRITE MORE, BUT I GOTTA END IT NOW, I’M FUCKING SOFT HNNNGGH 

Gaia, the dwarf planet