#on why*

[hsslilly-blog]

Thinking about HuntClaire. I like it when Hunt tells Claire he's "all in" (quest 5; First Date). I think it's an important moment to their relationship, and it's something that defines it. It's interesting especially when you take Claire's character in consideration. Here is my essay under the cut. It is very long, sorry!

Before anything: in my timeline for Hollywood U, quest 5/“First Date” takes place in Jan/15, so around 6 months have passed since “On the Hunt”.

As I've written before, Claire spent her entire life with a distorted view of love. This led her into less than ideal situations (this one included). She has deep rooted self-esteem issues she's not aware of, she just knows she thinks she's not worth... "it" ("it" = always being a self-destructive gesture, risking "something"; she destroys herself to prove herself, so the other must too). This has much to do with how she first established "love" with her parents. Attention is love! Claire believes the people she's in relationships with will, inevitably, lose interest in her; and she believes this, because she truly thinks there's something extremely off-putting about herself. And she's much better as an idealised concept than a person. People don't like her naturally, so she must make them love her.

And, see, Claire has a terrible death drive: she's stuck in a cycle that will cause her pain; she's always pursued relationships with men that will not give her what she wants, which in turn will reaffirm her beliefs about herself, which will make her look for assurance from other people. It is through these relationships that Claire tries to find this feeling of worthiness: her main deal is trying to shift the power imbalance between her and her partners (because there always is one), and most of the time it comes through the simple act of these men crossing boundaries to be with her. Giving her attention when they should not be giving her any.

So, Claire saw her therapist as something to be conquered. Would her parents' divorce lawyer muddle the waters to be with her? Would this guy mess up his campaign plans just so he can go on a few dates with her? Yes, probably. But they're not committed to her: they also see her as something to be conquered, a fling. There is not much thought put into Claire, or into the relationship as a whole. No consideration for consequences. Claire is something. For Claire, this is not empowering, this is self-destructive behaviour. And when time comes, these men leave her and blame her for their ruin.

This is all part of her characterisation as a perceived femme fatale. "Perceived" because Claire does not do this out of malice. This is not conscious behaviour; at least it's not something Claire realises she's doing when she's doing it. I will return to this later.

Okay, well. Hunt checks all the boxes, right. He's her professor and by God, he does not want to cross any boundaries. This guy literally runs away from Claire in more than one occasion. Unfortunately for him, this is a dream come true to her. This does not play like in canon; like I said, Claire doesn't do this out of malice. She just sees a man who does not esteem her, and this is outrageous to her, and she needs to prove him wrong; and she needs to show him that, actually, she's totally nice and pleasant and, like, interesting! Claire is not even pursuing him romantically, at first. She doesn't even like him as a person that much. She just feels she has to prove herself to him, somehow. She must make him love her. It simply gets entangled in the midst of it all, as it often does with Claire.

I've talked before (in tags) why I think they work together. Hunt does not give Claire attention. At least, not in the way she wants to (positive attention.) There is something about Claire that is very offensive to Hunt: she is too much like him! This relationship is not about Claire wearing down a guy until he dates her (which, honestly, that's what it feels like in canon). This is about two deeply flawed people who see conflict as a form of connection. They cannot interact sincerely with each other because they are both too deep in their own prejudices. Claire has a distorted perception of herself. People dislike her not for innate, mysterious reasons, but because she is pushy and brashy. Hunt needs to get over himself. He is not being frank, he is just being rude and unpleasant most of the time. And these are two people who love pointing fingers at others, and then they decide to point it at each other.

They're deeply attracted to each other because one constantly challenges the other. And as much as they do not like to admit this (the great flaw of pride), there is something to be admired in a person that manages to humble you. These are characters that need to be wrong every once in a while. And they found that in each other. Claire has the unconscious need to make Hunt like her, but she's unaware of what makes her unlikeable. And he will make her aware of it. And Hunt thinks of himself as the judge of everything that is good in the world. Claire tells him he's not that important, actually.

There is mutual investment in this relationship. And I think that's what levels the ground between them. Not whatever Claire was doing before.

Once they get together, the issue with Claire and worthiness does not go away (and it won't for a long while); but this is a different relationship than any other she has had, because Hunt is a different person from all the men she's dated before. He is not a person who does things haphazardly, unplanned, not thought through. Most importantly: once he chooses something, he commits to it. So, when he decides to date Claire he's not doing it in precipitation. He has given thought to it, he has given thought to the consequences and he has given thought to Claire. Thence, when he tells her he's "all in", he means it and he is willing to risk it all for her (which does happen; he loses his job) because he thinks she, as a person, adds more to him.

This is probably when Claire realises that she's falling for him (and truly!). I think hearing that from him means a lot to her. It touches a wound in her. Oh, so there are people who are willing to do... things for her. And, of course, not implying this is healthy. This is not fixing anything, because that is not the point. Claire will not mature in this aspect through a relationship... and this all kinda reaffirms her worldview. As for Hunt: he literally throws his career away for her, so maybe he should visit an analyst as well. The point is that this is an important moment to Claire and Hunt's relationship; and this is why this, out of all the relationships Claire has had, lasts. There is a commitment from him in a way that enables her complex, but there's also being seen as a person in a way that she'd never experienced before.

I also like how this subverts Claire's archetype of a perceived femme fatale, slightly. Hunt does lose his job so, in a way, she would have "lead him to ruin". The difference here is that Hunt is fully aware of the consequences, he has given thought to the situation, and he still chose her. She has not "deceived him" (and I'd say she never deceived any man; they knew what they were getting into). The point here is that Hunt does not shift the blame to Claire at any moment: if he lost his job, then that's his doing. Claire is only a person! She has no way of coercing him into anything. He could've said no. And he chose not to.

I need to postface this with: Claire is a complexed person. And as all people with complexes, not everything fits neatly. People are not A to B to C! And neither is she, and there will be contradictions most often than not. I do think most aspects of her personality makes sense in relation to one another, but it's hard to break down a person in parts when they're a totality. This is just a general overview! Lastly, Hunt and Claire will always have a weird dynamic going on between them; they work well, but it's very easy for them to not work well. And maybe that’s what keeps them together.

[louisegluckpdf]

they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"

[powdermelonkeg]

Reblog to give a trans person a fresh and perfectly ripe mango wait huh

It's the wikipedia image??? How big could it be

What

Huh???

[pangur-and-grim]

.......I fucked up so bad.

I've been teaching Belphie not to jump on Pangur, cause she's old and arthritic and doesn't like it. and as part of my "training", I've been giving him a treat every times he stops his evil actions and trots over to me.

I thought I was training him to come when called. in actuality, I've been training him to bite Pangur. so now he'll jump on her, chew her ear, and then make bird-of-prey eye contact with me from across the room. and the worst thing is I'VE ALSO BEEN GIVING PANGUR A TREAT EACH TIME (so she doesn't feel left out). which means that she'll whimper pathetically from Belphie biting her, and then also make intense eye contact with me, because she's been conditioned to expect treats afterward.

I have accidentally made the most fucked up dynamic possible with both of these cats.

[bloodbending]

can’t believe tiktok is actually getting banned, twitter is infested with bots and brainworm-infested musk bootlickers, facebook is king of QAnon, instagram caught the plague from facebook and is dying a slow death in real time… and as the dust settles… only Miss Tumblr is left standing… failing upwards once again

[hauntingrabbits]

comic

[great-and-small]

Trends on other social media sites:

Try this new dance challenge! Post your glow-up! Get Ready With Me!

Trends on Tumblr:

[insomniac-arrest]

over-psychoanalyzing blorbos is healthy and needed enrichment for the girlies in order to avoid over-psychoanalyzing themselves. like giving a dog a chew toy in order to redirect chewing on its hind legs

[stillgotscars]

this part of stevie nicks’ interview with rolling stone is taking me out

[sadclowncentral]

i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.

this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.

anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:

[monophobix]

the real MVPs of arcane

[stormsbourne]

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

[undergroundwubwubmaster]

Pelican Town got a new farmer ... she's bit of a cryptid but the people appreciates her efforts.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Love it when Rolling Stone puts out an article about the 25 most influential internet creators and I've only heard of 7 of them

[livingthedragonlife]

laios is perhaps the only character not to get the "they mentioned their favorite food once and the fandom makes it their whole personality" treatment. his favorite food is cheesecake and absolutely nobody cares