#once again i trip back onto this blog...days later.

[hyunnie04]

summary: changbin loves to spoil you, but you won’t let him.

pairing: changbin x gn! reader

word count: 1117 words

warning: small mention of financial insecurities

genre: fluff

a/n: hi! this is my first drabble/short fic on this blog, i know its a little rough around the edges but i hope you guys like it anyways! any feed back is welcomed ^^

a more recent a/n; i edited this a bit at the end just to make it more coherent!

im having binnie brainrot atm excuse me

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changbin has always been an observant person. when you and changbin first started dating, he began to notice something you did often. 

when you two would go out to run some errands together, or just simply go out on a date- it would be almost a routine that you two would just walk around, looking at clothes and or just looking at necessities for your shared apartment. changbin trails behind you, glancing and observing some of the random paraphernalia on the shelf.    

you smile at the white knit sweater that you have been eyeing since earlier this year, feeling it’s nice and soft material between your fingers. oh how you wish you could bring it home, but you knew better. your wallet and your conscience was practically yelling at you to not spend a single dime on stuff you probably don't need. you suddenly feel changbin’s gaze on your figure. 

“you like that sweater?” he tilts his head towards the article of clothing, adjusting his thick black frame resting on his nose bridge.

you knew that look, his eyebrows raising in question. he wants to buy it for you. putting the piece of fabric back in it's place, you turn to him and smile. “i-no, it’s alright.” he stares at you again, making you tilt your head at him. “but you’ve been eyeing that sweater every time we pass this place.” 

“you should get it.” he continues and smiles at you. “i’ll get it some other time. I don't… have the money right now.” you lie, voice much smaller. shaking your head and waving him off, you continue to browse the isles. he strides after you, confused. “i can get it for you, you know.”

“bin, it's okay, really.” you smile and insist. you hope that he wouldn’t press on the topic anymore. his keen eyes notice once again when you hold up a ceramic cup with a silly design that he knows you love, but after staring at it for a good minute, you quickly put it back down. changbin sighs and makes a mental note of the things you were eyeing. he’d just have to make an impromptu trip back to this shop once he has some free time.

-

now back at home, you sigh and plop down on the plush couch. your feet are just aching from the miles and miles you two have walked the entire day. changbin presses a kiss onto your forehead and beelines it to the bathroom. grumbling about how he has to pee. you laugh.

after a while, the rumbling in your stomach signals you to finally get up and make dinner for the both of you. shuffling to the kitchen, you start with opening the stove and chopping up some veggies. a strong pair of arms suddenly engulf you from behind, startling you.

“bin! i am holding a knife, don’t startle me like that.” you laugh as he starts to trail kisses on the column of your neck. he chuckles and rests his head on your shoulder for a moment. it takes a while before he starts swaying you side to side without saying anything. you've known him for so long to know when he has something on his mind.

"what's on your mind, honey?" you hum, putting the greens into the pan. "i should be asking you that." confused, you tilt your head at his answer.

"why won't you let me buy you stuff?" you glance at him, he leans on the counter and continues, "i mean- it's just that you've been holding off buying stuff for yourself for so long. you deserve a little splurging y'know."

mouth gaping like a fish out of water, you shut your mouth and continue to stir the pan.

“now, tell me why my baby doesn’t want me to spoil them?” you deflate at his words, knowing this conversation was about to happen sooner or later. 

aside from wanting to save some money on things you probably don't need part, you grew up with this feeling- having to be ashamed of people spending their money on you, you were determined not to make changbin an exception. accepting help from others growing up meant that there we're feelings of being a bother- feelings of being a waste of time.

years and years of conditioning yourself has lead you into believing whatever mental gymnastics you did inside your head was the absolute truth, no matter how absurd it sounded. maybe your strict upbringing also had a hand in it. that's the way it's always been.

so you explain to him. in all your vulnerability, all the while stirring your hot pan of stir fry.

“but i like doing this for you.” he stresses. changbin moves to rub your shoulder affectionately in an attempt to further reassure you.

biting your lip, “i just feel guilty.” you probably say for the umpteenth time. looking at him, you open your mouth to speak but is immediately cut off, “baby, please." he sighs, and turns off the stove from behind.

"why don't we come up with a compromise?" your buff boyfriend smiles at you. "like what?"

"tell you what, if you let me buy you something you want," he leans incredibly close to you, his breath fanning your face. "you'll get a kiss from me." you blush at his proximity and furrow your eyebrows at him, his grin widening by the minute.

"how is that a compromise?" you say after mulling it over.

"well," he starts, hands trailing and drawing simple shapes on your forearms. "you would get kisses and... and...." you look at him with your eyebrows raised, now very interested in his defense.

"and?"

"ah whatever!" he groans and burrows his reddening face into your neck. you chuckle and run your hands through his black hair, comforting your poor whining binnie.

"please just please let me spoil you!" he throws his hands up in defeat. changbin gives up his argument and grabs both of your hands, making his best pleading face. you can't help but laugh at your boyfriend's ridiculous sudden 180 turn. binnie continues to do his over the top aegyo at you, hoping you would crack.

"o-okay. alright! you win." you reluctantly agree with his constant pleading, his puppy eyes certainly winning you over. you turn to plate the poor neglected stir fry on the pan as he lets go of your hands and hug you from behind.

"but seriously- i'm really, really not bothered. and again, i like doing this for you- correction, i love doing this for you. so please let me?"

"...alright." you grin, already feeling lighter about the whole thing.

"thank you for putting up with me."

"anytime, honey."

[babyhatesreality]

The little one seems like a adventurous one.

What if they have placed to be and they are a little late. Bucky put you on his hip so you would run around all the time while they try to get everything ready to go.

But when Bucky wants to get the stairs down fast, maybe a little to fast, he is slipping whit you and now rushing the stairs in his behind all the way down.

And little ones reacting would be like „AGAIN?! I was flying!“ 🥺😂

While they both try to calm down

HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE

This request gave me life. And made me laugh so hard. I love it. <3

Time is a Flyin'

Pairing: Daddy!Stucky x little f!reader (featuring Bucky)

Warnings: DDLG (SSC), f! reader, reader is named but name scarcely used, language, fluffity fluff fluff fluff.

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION. THIS STORY IS SFW- THE REST OF MY BLOG IS NOT NECESSARILY SO. MINORS DNI. I DO NOT CONSENT FOR MY WORK TO BE STOLEN, COPIED, OR TRANSLATED ONTO ANY OTHER SITE BUT MY OWN. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated. 

He wouldn't look at the clock. He wouldn't look at the clock. He WOULDN'T look at the clock.

He looked at the clock.

Shit. Even later than he thought. Steve was gonna kill him.

"Baby, where are you?" Bucky hollered as he raced around the house. You suddenly popped up from the couch, the blanket slipping off your head.

"Here I yam!" you cheered. Bucky did a sudden about-face and raced back into the living room, making you giggle. You reached for him but squeaked in surprise when he hoisted you into his arms so fast the room became a blur.

"Listen up baby, Daddy's running really late to meet Papa," Bucky explained to you in a rush as he ran down the hallway, holding on to you tightly. "So I need best behaviors right now, okay?"

"Okay Daddy!"

"Good girl," Bucky muttered as he plopped you down on the bench by the front door and began quickly shoving your shoes on. He deliberately chose the ones with the velcro straps so he didn't have to waste time tying laces. He suddenly realized you weren't wearing a coat and just managed to catch the swear word before it left his lips.

"Bunny, go run and get your coat. Fast as you can, chop chop," he said, clapping his hands playfully at you. You squealed with delight at the new game and took off for your bedroom as Bucky flew back into the kitchen to refill your day bag with snacks. He cursed under his breath once he knew you were out of earshot; he just KNEW not refilling it immediately after yesterday's trip to the library was going to be a mistake.

He looked at the clock again. SHIT. He was so dead.

"Baby, got your coat?" he hollered loudly, throwing the backpack on and racing towards your room. He screeched to a halt in your doorway. You had put your jacket on, but had gotten distracted by your stuffies.

"Daddy can Jellybean come?" you asked innocently, turning to meet his eyes, but instead gave another squeak as Daddy swooped you up into his arms again.

"Not this time, Baby," he said, before giving you a long kiss on the temple to take the sting of not being able to bring your bunny along. "We gotta go meet Papa and fast, don't want Jellybean getting lost along the way." Knowing Daddy needed best behavior right now, you just sighed and waved to Jellybean as Daddy raced towards the front door.

"JARVIS, doors!" Bucky yelled as you approached. You heard the click of the locks right before Bucky practically ripped the door off its hinges, slamming it quickly. "Lock it up," Bucky ordered the AI as he ran down the hallway.

"JARVIS, PLEASE," you said deliberately, your voice jolting a bit as Bucky ran, which, in turn, made you giggle. You weren't allowed to run in the hallways- this was FUN.

"Of course, Mr. Barnes and Princess," JARVIS replied politely. You were already too far away to hear the clicking of the locks, but you knew JARVIS had it taken care of. You tried to pat Bucky on the cheek to get his attention as he huffed towards the elevator, but he was going so fast and you were bouncing so hard you accidentally smacked his forehead.

"Sorry Daddy!" you chirped when he gave you the side eye. "But did you see that I helped with the door??"

"Yeah, good job Princess," Bucky said with a quick grin, before focusing back on the path in front of him. He came to a halt right in front of the elevator. He mashed the button quickly, but it didn't light up. He pushed it again- nothing. "C'mon, c'mon," he muttered, practically putting his fist through the panel in his frustration.

"Excuse me, Mr. Barnes, but I'm sorry to inform you that the elevator is currently down for maintenance," JARVIS said apologetically.

"SHIT," Bucky hissed, then immediately held up one finger in front of your suddenly excited face. "Don't even think about it," he warned. "That's a no-no word."

"How's come all the fun words are no-no words? Dat's not fair."

"Life ain't fair, kiddo."

"Papa gonna wash your mouth out with soap, Daddy."

"I'll give you an extra cookie after dinner if you don't tell Papa what I said."

"DEAL!"

That having been settled, Bucky looked over at the stairway door. At least he managed to only think the swear word instead of saying it this time. He sighed heavily, and shoved open the door. He looked all the way down the stairwell. Your apartment was on one of the upper levels. It was going to take forever to walk down the stairs and make him even later and Steve was going to kill him even harder. He came up with a plan, but didn't have time to really think it through- except one thing.

Bucky's head snapped to you, looking you right in the eye. "Listen up, Private Baby," he said, using his Sergeant voice. You instantly paid attention, looking at him with wide eyes. "You hang on tight, you hear me? Don't let go for anything. I'm not gonna let you fall," he said firmly. "And don't you DARE try this on your own, got it?" You had no idea what he was talking about, but you were intrigued, to say the least. You had no fear of Daddy ever dropping you- he and Papa were the strongest in the whole world and you knew he would never let you go. So you did as he asked- you gripped him as hard as you could around his neck and locked your legs into place around his waist.

"Okay, Sergeant Daddy!"

The next thing you knew, you were flying through the air. Daddy was jumping over entire flights of stairs, holding on to you so tightly it took your breath away. Your focus kept snapping back and forth between the intense concentration on his face as he leaped and the whoosh of air blowing your hair back as the concrete stairs just disappeared underneath you. You were just completely at a loss for words or actions as you held on for dear life and the floors of the tower passed by in a blur.

Bucky finally made it to the ground floor where the garage was, and stopped. Super soldier or not, he needed a moment after that. Breathing hard, he craned his neck to look down at you. "Are you okay, baby?" he asked, trying to regulate his breathing as he swallowed hard. You didn't answer for a moment, you just stared at the ground, then slowly turned your head to look at him. You blinked twice, but didn't say anything. "Baby?" he asked again, starting to panic a bit. "Are you okay?"

"AGAIN!!!" you suddenly screamed joyfully, catching him completely off guard. "AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!!!! DO IT AGAIN DADDY!!!!"

Bucky's face couldn't have been more shocked if he'd tried. "Wh-what?" he said stupidly, not believing what he was hearing.

"CAN WE DO IT AGAIN????" you begged, bouncing in his arms. "That was the mostest funnest thing ever!!! We was FLYING!!!" You were wiggling so hard in your sheer delight that YOU were now shaking HIM. "Can we please do it again??? I promise to be good forever!!! Please please please again again again!!!!"

Knowing he now had TWO big problems on his hands, Bucky just started storming towards their car, which, of course, was all the way at the other end of the floor. The world was against him today. "Listen, Trouble," he said. "You remember how I said we weren't telling Papa about the no-no word?"

"Yeah, and da cookie!"

"If you don't tell Papa about flying down the stairs like we just did, I will let you pick out three new stuffies this weekend."

"WOW!! Dis many??" you asked, delightedly holding up three fingers. He couldn't help but grin.

"You are so smart," he said, kissing the side of your head as he hurried. "Yup, that many. But you CANNOT tell Papa. You tell Papa and the deal's off, got it?"

"Got it!"

"It'll be our little secret about flying, okay?"

"Okay! I am really good at secrets about flying, Daddy! Like how it's a secret when Uncle Sam is watching me and we go flying around the city with his falcon wings."

"Wait- WHAT?!"

[zeroeightzeroone]

in this lifetime and the next - seo changbin

genre: angst? hurt/comfort? idk two exes are talking about their past relationship

pairing: ex-boyfriend, non-idol!seo changbin x ex-girlfriend!femreader

notes: if this looks familiar, my secondary blog 'zerothreetwentyfive ' was deleted by tumblr (idk why) so i'm republishing everything here on my main blog.

wc ~2.5k | moodboard

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:

"how…" he clears his throat, "how have you been?"

his eyes are fixed on the night sky. even with the knowledge that he isn't looking in your direction, you still shrug before replying, "i've been… okay."

if someone told you three years ago you'd be lying under the millions of stars sparkling up within the dark night sky, next to your ex-boyfriend, you would've been convinced that person was out of their mind. especially, if that person told you that throughout the trip you would find yourselves alone together coincidentally, eventually finding yourselves sober and in the comfort of your ex-partner laid next to you. a cool breeze drifting by once in a while and everyone else who came onto the trip were either drunk or passed out inside the cottage. 

you really would've called an intervention. convinced that they were far too delusional for their own good.

then again, you from three years ago would have never believed there'd come a day when your boyfriend would become your ex. where he would become someone of your past. you from three years ago could not even fathom, nor entertain the possibility of being away from the man, of living without the man. the man you loved more than anything or anyone. a statement that holds true to this day.

truthfully, you believed that he would be the one you would love and be loved by for eternity. believing that you waited your whole life, for everything in the universe to align, paving the path to meet the man you were fated for, the man you would call the one:

seo changbin.

"work's been good? school? life?" changbin's voice is quite soft and his tone is a bit awkward. 

he's tiptoeing around his words, trying to figure out how you feel about him. weighing out what you could and couldn't speak about or if you should be speaking at all. the thought of overstepping and potentially making you uncomfortable sits in the back of his mind.

"they've been… more or less the same," you answer.

it's different without you, you think to yourself. 

his absence was something you could never get used to after the breakup. three years later and that sense of emptiness looms over your head.  

"i got promoted last year," you add.

"oh really? that's great to hear!" changbin's tone is excited but at the same time it's uneasy.

of course, he's excited, and he's proud of you but he still doesn't know how you feel about him right now. what if he makes you uncomfortable with too much excitement? or a lack of excitement? changbin's treading lightly.

"… uh… sorry–"

"—how about you? how have you been?" you're quick to cut him off. 

if you didn't, changbin would go on rambling and apologizing; something you picked up on very early into your relationship. the man lying next to you apologizes for everything, regardless of if he is at fault or not. even if there is no fault, he finds himself apologizing anyway.

"last i remember you were working a big project."

changbin blinks, taken aback by the sudden interruption but he composes himself quickly, "o-oh! i've been doing good as well. happy that it's done."

"how'd it go?" you wonder.

"it was... definitely a lot more than we expected to take on. the clients decided they wanted to expand more on their vision. change up a lot of pre-made plans."

"ah, i see... i can't tell if that's good or bad?"

"i'd say it's both," you can hear the slight smile in his tone, "a lot of work done being scrapped which, y'know, isn't exactly ideal. but they agreed to pay us more which is good. i'd say we were rewarded adequately for the work we put in."

you hum, "well, then, i'm happy for you."

silence looms in the air between the two of you. neither of you knows what to say to the other, how to continue a conversation. 

the both of you stare up at the stars overhead; most of which you aren't able to see on a daily due to the light pollution in the city. while there is a silence that has fallen between you two, it's not an uncomfortable one. neither of you are itching to escape an awkward atmosphere, to escape being around your ex. instead you find yourselves in a comfortable space in the presence of the one lying next to you.

basking in a presence neither of you has had the opportunity to be comforted by, let alone be around, in the past three years.

you find yourself instinctively fiddling with the ends of your hoodie sleeves, pulling them over your hands and hiding them inside. beside you, changbin adjusts his arm to rest behind his head while the other one rests on his stomach.

"y'know what this reminds me of?" he says suddenly, in a hushed tone, "reminds me of our two-year anniversary."

tearing your eyes off the sky, you turn your head to changbin's direction. 

you let your eyes linger on him for a moment. entranced by how the stars and the moon illuminate his features in such a soft and gentle manner. it's been three years since you've been this physically close to changbin, let alone seen the man, you can't help but analyze his features like it's the first time. looking over the features you fell in love with way back when.

changbin looks just as amazing as ever, maybe even more attractive. he still sports those soft, dark curls in his shaggy hair that falls right under his eyes. he's more buff in comparison to when you last saw him three years ago.

the longer you let your eyes look over him, the more you're taken back, that sense of nostalgia washing over you. he's right, this moment is reminiscent of your two-year anniversary. 

you remember the months leading up to that day as if it were yesterday.

you remember repeatedly asking your boyfriend how you two should celebrate the milestone that was coming just around the corner. in response, he would always say he would be the one to take care of everything and that all you needed to do was sit back and relax. 

the boy was clad in light blue denim jeans, a navy varsity-styled jacket with a white shirt underneath, his hair tousled as it fell in front of his black-rimmed glasses when he knocked at your door. greeting your family before whisking you away for a night you will never forget.

changbin quite literally drove you off into the sunset, one hand gripping the wheel whilst his other held your hand in his. the both of you belting out to the playlist you created together, one that grew as each day passed. 

by the time you arrived at your destination, the sun had set behind the skyline as the dark sky loomed over the city. you remember the way your jaw slacked in awe at the breathtaking sight of all the stars. 

"i've never been this close to the stars! they're so much closer from up here!" 

you stood there gaping at the stars for what felt like eternity, while changbin stood beside you, his eyes full of affection as he stared at you. oh, his eyes. you would think he captured the stars in his eyes with the way they sparkled at the sight of you. that night on the hill, you and changbin were laid next to each other on the hood of his car, cuddled in each other's arms as you talked about anything and everything that came into your minds.

there you were in the arms of your lover, alone together in your own starry heaven. everything seized to exist other than you and your intertwined hearts.

you and changbin, together against the world.

nothing will ever come close to that level of perfection. that ethereal moment you've etched into your brain, you'd much rather be damned than to have that moment wiped from your memory.

"yeah… it does. the sky, the stars… just... everything brings me back."

"it was definitely not as chilly that night," changbin smiles.

half of his statement refers to the weather and the other half refers to how you were huddled up next to him that night. as opposed to now, where the space between your bodies lets in a cool draft.

you chuckle and shake your head, "the weather was great, not too hot and not too cold. just perfect."

lying next to him, reminiscing on your two-year anniversary as a couple has a question popping up in your minds.

if given the chance, would you go back? would you choose each other again?

the question is nothing new. a recurring thought over the past three years. 

over the past three years, you've collected a pool of unanswered questions regarding your relationship with changbin: the how's, what's, when's and why's. how could you not wonder? nothing in the world could surpass your love for seo changbin.

three years later and you have never loved as deeply as you have for the man beside you.

you're both listening to the steady breaths of the one lying next you as both your minds run a mile a minute. allowing a brief silence to settle before changbin is the one to break the silence.

"i'm sorry."

"sorry? ...for what?"

"just… everything."

when you turn to look in changbin's direction, your eyes meet for the first time that night. god, it feels as if your heart stopped at that exact moment. the delay was so long you could have dropped dead right there.

but you lived off the way your eyes locked with changbin's. finding your breath again with each twinkle of the stars reflecting off his black-rimmed glasses. finding your pulse starting up again, this time beating out of your chest as his deep brown eyes bore into your own. breathing the life back into you.

your gazes soften, a wave of nostalgia washing over the both of you; a memory of what you once had together.

a breath of the life you shared three years ago.

you stare at each other wordlessly. soaking in a feeling of comfort neither of you has felt in three years, one you only received from the one lying next to you.

"i'm sorry too. for everything."

"it's not your fault," he shakes his head, "i fell short in the end and i wasn't the boyfriend you deserved."

you're shaking your own head, "i was a terrible girlfriend. i wouldn't have stayed with me either."

"you were–are– amazing," changbin states, "you've always been."

"that's not true. don't say that, i know i hurt you with the things i said."

somewhere along the line of your relationship with changbin, things started to go awry. your lives began to clash; school and work priorities building and creating distance between you two. it felt like your relationship was slowly slipping away, schedules ran tight and pressures ran high. 

you remember petty arguments, the back-and-forth bickering between the both of you when you were able to see each other. 

"and i hurt you. i was never there when you needed me, i promised you that you could trust me, depend on me but i broke that in the end."

"that's not your fault. i couldn't be there when you needed me either."

"and that wasn't your fault either, our schedules didn't line up anymore."

"but… i could've tried har—"

"there was only so much we could do and you tried your absolute hardest," changbin interrupts you, "time just... wasn't on our side."

you hate to admit that even without the petty, groundless arguments, the end was inevitable. 

your relationship no longer fit into the other's increasingly hectic schedule, any and all the attempts came with sacrifices with school or work, and in the end, there was no healthy way to incorporate that time for each other. all the time you did spend together was plagued by stress and high tensions, only pushing you two further apart. 

no matter how hard you tried to salvage your relationship, everything else tried even harder to ruin it.  

the anger and dejection only grew stronger as time passed. the both of you wondering why things weren't going your way no matter how hard you worked for it. you felt dejected that your efforts came without fruition. upset that the time you did have together was limited, fleeting and full of the pressures your individual lives were weighing on you. 

"can i ask something?" your voice is almost inaudible but changbin hums in response, "why did you leave when you did?"

changbin blinks slowly as he processes your words.

"i didn't want things to get worse."

"what do you mean?"

"i didn't want to end things between us on a bad note. for us to part ways hating each other."

"i could never hate you."

"maybe, but we'd grow to resent each other even if we didn't mean to. wondering if our efforts were in vain, that no matter how hard we tried the universe worked harder against us."

"did you… resent me in the end?"

"i would've rather died instead of growing to hate or resent you."

your head snaps in his direction and his to yours. your eyes wide with shock at how he said that without hesitation.

"what we had between us, i didn't want it to be overshadowed by months of arguing."

changbin has never loved anyone the way he loves you. 

early on in your relationship, changbin wholeheartedly believed you were the best thing to ever happen to him. no one cared for him, accepted him and understood him in the way you did. no one made him as happy as you did.

when he realized that your relationship became a source of stress in your increasingly hectic lives, he made the difficult decision to leave.

the people that come in and out of your life come either as a blessing or a lesson; changbin believes you are a blessing in his life.

people slip in and out of your life, fuck around and make you rethink everything. the memories of them are associated with the phrases: "i should have known better" or "you learn from your mistakes".

and he would rather be damned than to be a lesson.

he knew that with the direction both your lives were headed into at the time, the end was inevitable and if things between you two had to end then, in your out-of-control lives, he wanted the last semblance of control here.

"the thought of losing you scared me shitless," changbin continues, "but what scared me even more was that you could one day regret all of this, everything we had. that you would leave regretting ever loving me."

"… i didn't know you were thinking that way," your voice trails off at the end, thoughts still delayed as you process the words of your ex-boyfriend lying next to you.

you take a moment before you continue.

"at one point, i wasn't even mad or upset with you anymore... i was mad at the universe. the circumstances."

when you and changbin broke up, you often wondered what the universe had in store for you after such excruciating heartbreak. but the pain didn't even stop with changbin; it seemed like the universe had it against you as else in your life began to downward spiral. 

you struggled to adjust to the growing hustle and bustle of your life while also struggling to adapt without your person.

oftentimes, you imagined taking a trek up to climb the tallest mountain in the world. exerting all that blood, sweat and tears for the opportunity to let everything out into the void. you imagined standing on the highest point on earth would be as physically close as you could get to the universe. 

maybe from up there, the universe would be able to hear the desperation, the pain that came from wondering what you did to deserve this; to have loved so passionately and to have lost, to experience such excruciating pain.

if the universe didn't align for a life with changbin, you laid awake wondering what it did align for. if it would be worth it. 

what could be more worth it than him? 

with a bittersweet smile on your lips you say, "nothing aligned for us in this lifetime. maybe, in the next lifetime."

you're trying your hardest to control and suppress your emotions as your eyes gloss over, tears threatening to fall. changbin's eyes stay fixed on you as he, much like you did earlier, analyzes your features all over again as if it was the first time.

changbin pays close attention to every detail, etching it into his mind.

"whose to say that?" changbin's eyes meet your own once again, a glint present in his chocolate brown orbs, "this lifetime isn't over yet."

your eyes, still blown wide with surprise, meet changbin's. you would think he captured the stars in his eyes with the way they sparkled at the sight of you.

"in this lifetime and the next, i'll love you."

"does that mean you'll love me for eternity?"

"our love is so strong it transcends lifetimes. we'll always find our way back to each other."

main masterlist

[tip-top-cloud-surfer]

The Love of a Princess (Part 2) - Rooster

Pairing: Rooster / Simpson!OC (Princess Alexandra)

Word Count: 3.2k

This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only

Series Warnings: (Modern-ish) Royal AU; Meant to Be Set in 1920s/1930s; AU Country/World; Inspired by History; Bodyguard AU; Implied Very Much Legal Age Gap; Sexism; Angst

Summary: Princess Alexandra confronts her father about his decision. Rooster struggles to adapt to royal protocol.

Part 1

Master List

Princess Alexandra glared at her own image as her maid brushed out her hair, letting her hair fall naturally down her back. She would have to wash the product out of it later, but so long as it allowed her some freedom, then she was content enough. Wiping her makeup from her face, she snapped her compact shut with extra harshness that made her maid pause. 

“Is everything alright, miss?” Jane asked kindly. 

“No, it’s not, I’m afraid,” Alexandra stated as Jane arranged the pins that she pulled from Alexandra’s hair. “I’m sure that they’ve already given you the orders to pack my things for me. For my trip out to the countryside.”

“Yes, miss.”

“How long did they tell you to pack for?”

“A few months, miss.”

“Of course,” Alexandra sighed, looking down at her hands for a moment. Fiddling with her mother’s ring, she straightened up again. “Thank you, Jane.”

“Yes, miss. Did you need anything else?”

“Not right now, Jane, thank you.” Alexandra stood up and let Jane unzip her dress for her so that she could slip into a far less formal one. “But can you please make sure that a hot bath is waiting for me when I return from my meeting with my father? I’d prefer to wash the day away from me.”

“Certainly. Did you wish for me to be on hand, miss?”

“No, I can handle it. You get your rest. I’ll be fine,” Alexandra replied, stepping out of her state dress. Once her less formal dress was zipped up, Alexandra was slipping into flats and turning to leave the room. “If anyone comes looking for me, Jane, please tell them that I am spending time with my sisters and do not wish to be disturbed.” 

���Yes, miss, of course.” 

~~~~~

Bradley stood beside the couch that Maverick was sitting on, his hands loosely folded behind his back. After one of the most boring lunches of his life and entertaining himself out in the garden while the more senior members of the military and government conducted their meetings with the King, it was finally his turn. 

And he found himself wishing that he was out in the gardens again. 

“And what of your medical training?” the king asked him, looking down at Bradley’s profile.

“I have First Aid training, Your Majesty.”

“Anything beyond that?”

“No, sir, I leave anything beyond that to the medics and doctors.” 

“There is a nurse staying with them,” Solomon Bates, the king’s private secretary and right hand man, reminded the king gently. “And a doctor is a phone call away in the nearest town.” 

“How good are you with horses?” the king asked next, looking up at Bradley. 

“Horses, sir?” 

“Yes, you’ll find that my daughters are all avid riders. You will need to be able to keep stride with them. Or to chase after them.” 

“I can ride a horse, sir. I’m no jockey, but I can stay in the saddle.” 

“I’m sure that they will put a test to that,” the king remarked, mostly to himself, though Solomon cracked a smile as well. “DId you grow up with any sisters, Lieutenant?” 

“No, sir. I’m an only child. Always have been.” 

“Well, you will learn quickly. You will have to in order to survive.” Closing the folder, Beau placed it onto the coffee table and turned back to Bradley. “You will be given a room in the castle, of course. It will be close to the princess’s rooms, should you need to rush to their aid, but far enough away to maintain a sense of properness.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Any guests to the castle, other than the usual staff and providers, will have to be vetted through my private secretary,” the king explained, gesturing to Solomon. “And while I cannot stop you from leaving the castle for your personal needs, as it is not a prison, you are to conduct yourself with the utmost sense of properness in the surrounding town.” 

“Of course, sir. That goes without saying.” 

“Good.” Standing up from his seat, and causing everyone else to get to their feet as well. “You shall meet the princesses tomorrow before you embark by train to the countryside. I am sure that will give you more than enough time to get your affairs in order and pack.” 

“Yes, sir. It is most generous, really,” Bradley replied, not sure if he was overdoing it. 

“If you would all excuse me, I must speak with my daughters now,” the king stated, before exiting the room. 

It was only after the door closed that Bradley allowed himself to take a breath. Solomon turned to Maverick and the two nodded to each other like old friends before Solomon turned to Bradley. Walking over to him, Solomon handed Bradley a small journal.

“Here is all of the information that you will need for this assignment. Information about the princesses and all of the staff and everything else that goes on that you should be aware about. I expect a report by telephone every Friday after breakfast at 10 sharp. You can also always call me with concerns, Lieutenant.” 

“Thank you, sir.” 

“And good luck,” Solomon remarked, causing Bradley to raise an eyebrow before he walked off. 

“I believe that you’ve just found what you’ll be doing for the rest of the evening,” Maverick commented, tapping the top of the journal Bradley was handed. “But get some rest. It is not a short trip to their country estate.” 

Bradley nodded, glancing down at the journal, before he and Maverick left. 

~~~~~

“I don’t know why you’re so upset,” Princess Ellie stated, lounging on the couch. “You hate being in the city.” 

“No, I don’t,” Alexandra insisted, staring out the window and into the gardens.

“Well, then you don’t like it as much as you like the countryside,” Ellie sighed, staring at the ceiling. “But are you going to be this huffy the whole time we’re there?” 

“Ellie,” Princess Sophie sighed, hitting her older sister with a pillow. “Don’t be rude.” 

“I’m just saying,” Ellie groaned, rolling to sit up. “You’re getting a vacation and you’re throwing a fit about it?”

“I’m not throwing a fit. And it’s not a vacation, it’s a banishment,” Alexandra stated, folding her arms over her chest. “And as next in line, I have a right to be involved in these meetings. Or at least the right to stay in the same building as them. I’m not a child, but everyone insists on treating me as one.” 

“Maybe because you throw a tantrum every time someone tells you that you can’t do anything?” Ellie suggested, earning a glare from her elder sister. “What?” 

“If I’m going to be queen one day, I need a hands-on education. Not one from a thousand miles behind the first sign of action.” 

“No one’s forgotten that you’ll be queen one day, Alexandra,” Ellie sighed, leaning back in her seat. “Because you never let them forget it.” 

The sound of the door opening tore Alexandra’s glare away from Ellie and towards her father. Beau was still dressed in the uniform that he wore at the lunch, having been in meetings since its conclusion. And when he saw Alexandra’s annoyed expression, he walked straight towards the brandy he kept in the room. 

“Ellie, stop prodding your sister,” Beau stated firmly, causing Ellie to sigh. 

“Sorry, Dad.” 

“I’m not who you should be apologizing to, Ellie.” 

“Sorry, Ms. Heir to the Throne,” Ellie replied condescendingly, causing Alexandra to snap. 

“You’re such a pain in the ass, Ellie!” Alexandra roared, grabbing the nearest pillow and throwing it at Ellie with force.

“Stop it, right now!” Beau stepped in between his two eldest daughters to stop the risk of another pillow sailing across the room. “You are both acting like children! Sophie’s the youngest of you, but she’s the only one acting responsibly right now!” 

“Is that why you won’t let me stay for these meetings?” Alexandra demanded of her father, who turned to her with a tired expression that only made tears well in her eyes. For this was far from the first time that they had ever had this conversation. “How can I be heir and one day the queen, if you don’t allow me to learn my duties?” 

“You will, Alexandra. But this is a very difficult time for our nation and the world and it is not the best time for that. But it will come.” 

“When?” 

“When you are ready.” 

“Or when you and the rest of the establishment are ready?” Alexandra challenged her father. 

“That’s not fair, Alexandra.” 

“Why isn’t it fair? I have completed my academic courses with top marks. Took extra subjects. More than you did. Learned additional languages. I know the Constitution from start to finish. I’ve read thousands of pages of the history of our nation. And then reread them. I stay current on events happening in our country and around the world. I conduct myself positively at every event that I attend. All I want—all I need—is a chance!” 

“I understand that, Alexandra. But the time is not right for that chance.” 

Her face screwed into a frown, Alexandra turned on her heel and stepped away from her father, returning to the window. Beau sighed and shot his middle daughter a look that she proceeded to ignore before sharing a look with his youngest daughter. 

“All three of you should use this time away from the chaos of the city to reflect and grow on your own. The countryside will provide you with that space, with that peace. Of course, you know that you can always call me, but it might be at odd hours. There will be a lot going on in Miramar while you three are gone.” 

“Will you ever come up to visit us?” Sophie asked, causing Beau to turn to her sadly.

“I’m not sure, sweetheart.” 

“So, that means ‘no,’” Ellie remarked, causing Beau to turn to her. 

“Might I suggest that you use all of that free time, Ellie, to learn the difference between honesty and cruelty?” 

“Yes, Father,” she replied quietly, looking down. 

“And Sophie, I’m sure that you want to improve on your riding.”

“I like the piano more these days,” Sophie stated, leaning back in her seat. 

“Well, there’s at least two grand pianos there. I can have someone find some music for you before you leave.” 

“Ms. Holloway can’t come up to the countryside?”

“She’s got three young children at home, sweetheart. She should remain in Miramar with them.” 

When he heard his eldest daughter’s scoff at his words, Beau turned to face her. Alexandra kept her back to him and her posture rigid. Composing himself, Beau took a step towards Alexandra, but did not move too much closer when she was easily provoked. 

“And you, Alexandra, should take some time and learn that there are other important aspects to being a leader than just the knowledge that you carry with you. Go out riding. Find some new hobbies. Live less like an heir and more like a human. And when you return to Miramar, we can discuss your position and ongoing education.” 

Alexandra turned from the window and walked past her father, heading out of the room. No one made any move to make her stay, knowing that Alexandra required solitude and would lash out if she was not granted it.

“Good night,” was all Alexandra offered before she shut the door behind her. 

~~~~~

Bradley was dressed in a civilian suit and without a single hair out of place while he waited in the courtyard to meet the princesses. Their luggage was already being loaded into a car, but there was no sign of the princesses themselves. His singular bag, which looked so ratty next to their luggage, was loaded in last. 

“Are they always late?” he asked one of the attendants.

“They are not late, Mr. Bradshaw. You are simply early,” the attendant replied, a bit snootily, before walking off as if he had been personally offended. 

“Christ,” Bradley sighed, throwing his head back for a moment. 

He let out another breath and straightened up, staring straight in front of him. But soon enough, he heard the sound of footsteps. Standing at attention, Bradley spotted the youngest of the three princesses first. 

“You’re the Navy man that’s joining us?” she asked, walking straight to him. 

She could not have been very far at all into her teens and yet she had enough mischief in her smile that Bradley suddenly understood why everyone told him to get his rest while he could. Pausing for a moment, Bradley offered her a small smile. 

“What makes you say that?” he questioned, looking down at her. 

“You’re the only man today that I’ve never seen before at the palace,” she pointed out, folding her hands in front of her. “Alexandra said that your name is Bradley.” 

“Yes, it is, Your Highness. Lieutenant Bradley Bradshaw, at your service,” he stated, bowing his head to her and earning an amused grin from her in return. 

“You can stop all the stuffy stuff when we get away. We all hate it,” she added with a whisper, causing Bradley to smile. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“All I’m saying is that I don’t understand why we have to leave so early,” Ellie sighed, walking out of the palace next. 

“Because it’s never a bad idea to get an early start. Another lesson that you could learn,” the king replied, before the two of them turned to Bradley. “Ah, Lieutenant Bradshaw. I hope that we did not keep you waiting for too long.” 

“Not at all, Your Majesty,” Bradley stated, bowing to the king. 

“You’re the man who’s accompanying us?” Ellie asked, smiling flirtatiously up at Bradley. 

“Car. Now,” Beau stated firmly, pointing at the vehicle. 

Ellie huffed and sent Bradley one last smile before getting into the first car that pulled up. Sophie got in behind her and the door was shut behind them. Bradley turned to the king and was about to stammer out some kind of apology, but the king held up a hand. 

“You do not have to apologize, Lieutenant Bradshaw. I must, in fact, apologize to you. My middle daughter simply tries to get a reaction that she would find amusing out of you with comments like that. You shouldn’t take it any other way. And you should ensure that no other young men who she might come into contact with take it that way as well.” 

“Yes, sir. I understand, sir.” 

Princess Alexandra stepped out of the palace last, talking with Solomon Bates as she walked. She gave Solomon a squeeze on his shoulder in goodbye before moving on to say goodbye to her father. Though they had a spat the night before, Alexandra still accepted her father’s hug and kiss on the top of her head. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too,” Alexandra replied quietly before releasing her father. “I’ll call myself when we arrive, if that would put you at ease.” 

“I’d appreciate it.” 

Alexandra nodded before walking around her father and to the second car. The attendant opened the door for her, and she slipped inside. With one last bow to the king, Bradley moved to sit beside her. As the heir apparent to the throne, she was entitled to more protection than her sisters. 

“Lieutenant Bradshaw,” she greeted him as she set her purse on her lap. He nodded back to her before the door shut and the car started towards the station. “I hope that the luncheon wasn’t too horrible for you yesterday.” 

“I’m not used to such events,” Bradley remarked before hastily adding, “Your Royal Highness.” 

“I’d prefer for you to just call me Alexandra if we’re not at a formal event,” Alexandra replied, looking out the window. 

“Your sister said the same, actually.” 

“Sophie?” 

“Yes. Does she prefer for everyone to call her Sophie?” 

“We’ve called her Sophie since the day that she was born,” Alexandra explained, turning back to Bradley. “And anyone who calls Ellie ‘Eleanor’ is at risk of severe personal injury. So, if you hear me call her that, it’s best to duck for cover.” 

“And do you have any nicknames that I should be aware of?” Bradley asked, staring her down for a moment and causing Alexandra’s cheeks to warm. 

“No. It’s just Alexandra.” 

“Alright,” Bradley replied, nodding slowly, “Alexandra.” 

She offered him a small smile and nod before looking out of the window, watching the streets of Miramar pass them by. Bradley looked around the car, running his hands over the tops of his thighs, before turning back to Alexandra. She sat calmly in the seat beside him, looking like the picture of poise that everyone knew her as. 

“Have you spent a lot of time in the countryside?” he asked after a time of silence. 

“Yes, but not so much recently. Over the last few years, we’ve really only gone out there a few weeks out of the year,” Alexandra admitted, still staring out the window. “But Sophie was actually born out there.” 

“Was that why your father asked me if I had any medical training?”

“Oh God,” she sighed, holding a hand to her head. “We have a nurse who lives with us while we’re there. He appointed her himself. And the doctor is ten minutes down the road.”

“That’s what your father’s private secretary said.”

“Don’t let anything that he said worry you too much. You wouldn’t have been appointed to the position if there was a sizable doubt in his head about you. He doesn’t let anyone around us that hasn’t been heavily vetted,” she added with a note of attitude.

“I’m supposed to check in with Mr. Bates every Friday morning, after breakfast,” Bradley told her, causing her to raise an eyebrow. 

“Only once a week? That’s a note of high praise.”

“Is it?”

“He made some in a similar position to yours check in every day. Of course, that was when Prime Minister Cain was in charge. My father trusts Tom Kazansky’s opinion with his life. And his daughters.”

“Many do, I would think.”

“How do you know the Prime Minister?” Alexandra asked Bradley, who shifted in his seat. 

“My uncle knows him. Peter Mitchell. Though I grew up calling him ‘Mav’ and the Prime Minister ‘Ice.’ Those were nicknames that they received in the war. They were very close and so I sort of grew up around the Prime Minister.”

“It helps that you’re in the Navy too. My father goes on and on about his Navy days to us. He misses it terribly, though not the war. The comradery of it.” Alexandra looked away from Bradley and stared ahead. “It’s very lonely at the top.”

“I can only imagine,” he replied softly. 

Alexandra turned back to him and the two locked eyes for a moment. There seemed to be a measure of curiosity on both sides before the driver broke the moment and announced that they arrived at the station. 

[dollarbin]

Sandy Saturdays #22:

Fairport Convention's Who Knows Where the Time Goes

When questing after undiscovered delights we can forget to slow down and appreciate familiar perfections.

I'm currently reading a terrible Tarantinoesque cowboy novel instead of rereading Middlemarch. The cowboy keeps shooting people in the face but they don't die; George Eliot's hapless Fred Vincy never shoots anyone in the face: rather he gambles on the wrong horse and ardently loves a girl. Why aren't I reading about him instead?

And while we are at it, I just ate furry anchovies on cold polenta for lunch. Why didn't I just have good old peanut butter on toast?

The same goes for the Dollar Bin. Robin Williamson's Merry (but somewhat crappy) Band has been spinning on my turntable of late in place of Paul Simon; I've been listening to Dylan and The Dead and American Dream instead of Blonde on Blonde and On The Beach.

All these decisions are wrong and in need of correction.

So let's get ourselves back on track: let's listen to Fairport Convention's version of Sandy Denny's best known song, Who Knows Where The Time Goes.

Like the wonder that is peanut butter, I take this wondrous version of the song for granted and struggle to taste/hear it anew: 31 years after first buying the record every note seems familiar and already considered.

But if I, and if we, put our minds to it, the track can once again become a thing of wonder. When Sandy joined the band in 68 she'd already recorded the song several times at home and with her former band, The Strawbs. It was her calling card: when Judy Collins latched onto the song and named an entire album based on it a year later I doubt anyone in Sandy's circle was shocked; rather I bet they all said she and the song deserved it.

Who Knows Where the Time Goes is a M.F. of a song; here in our chaste blog that stands for Mother Figure, not what your coarse minds assumed. And mothers are like Sandy's signature song: they are among the best, most admirable things on earth.

As I listen to the song with fresh ears here in the summer of 2024 what I love most about this version is Sandy's generosity. It's her song, but she does not dominate in volume or gesture; rather she lets the band's other genius, Richard Thompson, sing along with her - though he does his calling out through six subtle strings rather than with his voice.

Listen to the two of them patiently and generously make room for one another; the empty spaces between their efforts are as musical as the notes they make. They do not count the time; over more than five generous (and therefore unmarketable as a single) minutes they allow that time to unfold with care, sensitivity and warmth. The drumming, from Martin Lamble, who'd die tragically within a few sort weeks of this recording in an auto accident involving the whole band that would forever change them all, is also pretty damn great.

I remember ditching a portion of my senior year in high school to drive with my college-age girlfriend (now my sainted wife) up to Santa Cruz; we slept in open fields on campus and then stayed with a woman we knew who handed me a sandwich and said "eat this." I'd spent my childhood eating countless dollops of Laura Scudders on squashy, grocery store wheat. They tasted like nothing and got the job done: doughy filler for normal days.

But in Santa Cruz in 1993 I ate handmade, sprouted, whole wheat bread with seeds all over it for the first time in my life; I finally tasted freshly ground organic peanuts. Together they were basically the best things I'd ever eaten.

It was on that same trip that I bought Liege and Lief for $3 and discovered Sandy Denny. And so I encountered the sublime in music and food all at once. I was falling in love with life at the same time I was falling in love with a girl.

I'm blessed to say that all those ingredients remain in my daily life 30 plus years later. I just need to put down my terrible cowboy book, greet my wife, drop the needle and spread the peanut butter.

[justanotherstory]

Bollywood Blog!!?

I'm sure you must have heard the famous dialogue by SRK , “Haar ke jeetne wale ko baazigar kehte hai, baazigar ”. Well, I have lived that moment .

Well, I am one of those who go to school every day but attend only 70-80% of classes. No, I don't bunk or get punished for standing outside, but I am always involved in one or the other activity/competition. This is the story of such competitions only.

Okay, so during this session I took part in a debate competition which I 've already said that I won, so this is not about that. This story is about another competition i.e. Declamation Competition where we had to give a speech(I don't know why they give such fancy names to a speech recital competition).  

Straight up to the story, D-DAY of Declamation Competition . As soon as I reached school that day, I went to my teacher who was mentoring me after reaching school and started giving up my speech, but I stammered once or twice and then when I gave the speech again she pointed out my 'pronunciation', which made me kinda nervous (FYI, we only had 2days to prepare for the competition). I went to the auditorium (competition location) and the participants were sitting with the audience. I was the third to go up the stage, so I constantly kept revising my speech again and again and again.

And finally it was my turn, I went onto the stage and started giving up my speech, and a few moments later I completely blanked out!! Like seriously, I guess if someone asked me my name at that moment, then I wouldn't even be able to answer that. I started over again but still blanked out . So I tried making up stuff. Whatever came to my mind, I just spoke it out loud and there was this line which I said that day which I guess became one of the highlights because everyone knew I was just throwing up random stuff and that line gave me a good laugh from the audience and applauds too. The line was , and I quote,“You know why I am not able to give my speech today because yesterday, instead of learning my speech, I was scrolling through social media and that's the problem of our generation .” Although the only thing I have been doing for the past 2 days was cramming up that stuff.

That day when I got off the stage, I felt so downcast and let down that I can't even describe. It wasn't like that I haven't had any bad stage experiences.Once I tripped on the stage and even forgot the steps while I was in the front position of a dance performance, but this time the feeling was worse.

The judges and other teachers did praise me that day for my spontaneity and courage and  that I didn't get off the stage (I guess that's what teachers do)and that's another thing I have learnt from my past experiences, that never lose hope and give your best.

Anyways, after the competition, I went back to my class where one of my teachers who were mentoring me for the competition was teaching. She saw me and guessed the story or maybe my fellow classmate who was a part of the competition, who had already reached the classroom with a medal, told her the story . I told her my part of the story and she even grew angry at me for my negligence and scolded me and I was literally about to just burst out with my emotions, but I went back to my seat and tried to calm myself up. That day I even wrote a poem which, when read by my friends, became quite popular .

That day I learnt that sometimes we don't always need to put in that extra effort and get stressed, but rather take it easy. We don't always have to try to be the best and things don't always go as planned, so we must be wise enough to change the plan anytime!!

Well for this blog I think the poem I wrote that day is more appropriate that a mere poster .

So here's the poem titled, PHRASES:-

But wait, what's the “Baazigar thing ” in all this ? So I just realised that this story is already pretty elaborated, so instead of adding more to it, I will write up the second part in the next blog! Yeah , a sequel just like any other B-wood movie!! ;⁠)

Hope you enjoyed reading this blog and the poem too!! This was 'Just Another Story'.

This is me,

Signing off!!!<<33

[plentyoffrogstokiss]

welcome to my journal where I look back on past loves and hopefully release any final strings I'm still holding onto while I continue to search for my other half or my 'media naranja' as my Mum would say.

There won't be a timeline to this, I'll just write as I remember the trials and tribulations. Names may be changed or stay the same, I don't think anyone will find this blog.

Tom, I was in my early twenties when I met him. I had moved to a foreign country for a couple years to 'find myself.' I found him instead. A sarcastic, lanky, ginger man with a similar taste in music. We worked together, he was a PHD student and I was a lab worker who he shared a space with. We spent our mornings having breakfast together before the shifts would start, lunch breaks having sushi on Mondays. We took the bus home together once as he lived on the same side of town as me.

We walked home from one side of the city to the other, during one of my last weeks in the city, it took about two hours. We never dated, but he knew I had feelings for him. It was obvious. Tom met his girlfriend a few months before I moved away and I saw myself out of the situation but running away. I cut my trip short because I was so heartbroken to see him with someone else. They broke up shortly before I moved back, but it was too late, I was on a plane home before anything could happen. He joked about marrying me so I could stay, I secretly wished he would.

We face timed often once I was home. He would play the guitar for me, my favorite songs, and I would tell him about how depressed I was to be back home. I wanted be back on that side of the world with him, but I couldn't return. I needed to settle into my life that I returned to. It broke my heart the night he told me that I would be a total catch if I just "took up running". I was probably the smallest had even been in my life when I lived in the same city as him.

I visited again, a year later for my birthday, for Tom to introduce me to his new girlfriend. It was the worst birthday of my life, I was across the world, on my own, spending the evening in a pub with a friend and his girlfriend. I flew back a couple days later and never returned.

We would speak briefly over text or messenger, wishing one another a happy birthday or just a random meme. Communication fizzled out as the years passed. There I times I still think about him, dream about him. Look him up on google to see if he's published new papers. But I never reached out again. sometimes I wonder what my life would have been had I not flown back 5 months earlier than I should have.

[anxiouslyfred]

Discovering Red Pandas

Summary: How Remy found the red panda cafe in the imagination, and how Roman some indeterminate amount of time later found out about anxcietmusleep

Author's note: I did not want to write today, but I said I would for each day of July so meh. This is part of the Vampiceit au I have with @lostcephalopods (formerly loveceit) I swear there's more of it than I could find searching my blog today but tired brain is not digging for it.

My Idea note for today: Vampiceit - How did Remy discover the red panda cafe? What happened when Roman did? Do any of his datemates have their own unique date locations?

/\/\

Of the people who spent the most time in the imagination, Remy was probably the one to understand it best and that was still very little. If he tried to explain it, the sides often tried to correct them that they’d asked about the imagination not Remus.

Logan especially had once grown very frustrated over it, even though Roman agreed. The imagination isn’t predictable and often forms places or characters completely randomly.

For Roman and Remus, it wasn’t as unpredictable because they had some measure of control over it the other sides would struggle to manage, but that never meant they knew everything that happened within. They’d often be surprised by a new area or adventure to go on and half of Remus’s exclamations could be copied from occurrences within.

Remy didn’t get, or want, to control the imagination, but often found himself stuck there while Thomas slept or daydreamed. He could focus on the dreams of individual sides if he wanted, or be made to if they were especially loud or worried, but many nights were spent wandering Thomas’s dreams through the imagination.

It was a night like that that Remy found his cafe. He’d later learn about a planned trip to the zoo but right then he just saw the little red pandas climbing along branches and the tables scattered around.

That week had been one of disturbed nights for Remy. Janus was concerned over Virgil’s continuing love of vampires again, and Roman had been in a state of bouncing between ideas. The only thing going for Remy actually resting was that Remus hadn’t started causing any more chaos than the usual low amount.

Having coffee surrounded by the cute creatures seemed at least peaceful, if not somewhere he might just drift of to sleep themself.

/\/\

“When did we get a cat cafe?” Roman’s voice woke Remy, realising he was curled into a sofa still in the red panda area and that Thomas, along with all the sides, was awake now.

They sat up, stretching and calling over their shoulder, “Might want to look at the cuddly creatures again, Princey. Also, you’re keeping this place for me. I refuse all arguments to say otherwise.”

“I don’t know what they are then, but fine, you can keep your teddy bears picnic area. At least until I get Logan here and he explains why this is unhealthy for them.” Roman heaved a sigh, looking Remy over again. “Why haven’t you been sleeping this week?”

“Disturbances in the force. Which will be small compared to what I’ll do if you bring Logan here for that purpose.” Remy snarked. “They’re red pandas and I’ve decided this is their Cafe Extravaganza. Now I just need a date to bring here and amaze.”

Roman nodded, “Indeed, the pursuit of true love is ever emboldened by prime date locations. Very well, I shall allow your request, but you must enlighten me if ever you find true love.”

“Sure babes, Moment it happens I’ll run out to tell you.”

/\/\

Roman’s screech made them all freeze momentarily, before Remus was screeching back, unbothered by his nudity as he raced towards the other Creativity.

“I said tell me! Not let me walk in on whatever orgy this is!” Roman dodged around, pointing angrily at Remy.

Remus leapt onto his back at being ignored, also looking at the function. “Tell him what?”

“If I ever got a date, Sugar. He said that when he found my cafe.” Remy called over, snickering when that resulted in Remus now dragging Roman to the bed.

“Okay, so Remy is definitely our boyfriend, first it was just Virgil if Sleep had paid more attention to him and it was dullsville in how slow they went, so Jailbait and I joined in to kick them into hyperspeed. Just wait till I tell you all the kinks we’ve tried and have yet to try.” Remus was happily sharing, avoiding all attempts from Roman to escape.

[zacharyja]

Wednesday, May 29, 2024

I have already once written out my entire day in full detail and hit "Save to Draft" in order to save my work so I could finish up later before publishing the post. However Tumblr decided to step out of line and wipe my blog post from existence so I will do my best to write another post given my current unhappy mood of having to redo it over again.

Day Trip to Nara

Today began as it usually does with a class meeting and a mediocre bento box. After the meeting we all boarded the Kintetsu-Kyoto Limited express train line to make our way to Nara, which is about an hour out of Kyoto. This train ride was nothing special but not too bad either I sort of just relaxed for the duration of the trip. After arriving in Nara, we made our way to Nara Park, which is famous for its gatherings of semi-tame wild deer who have become friendly with humans over the years. These deer are believed to be messengers to the gods, and so they were never hunted by humans and have received really no negative interactions with people over many hundreds of years. At some point, people began feeding them Shika (deer) Senbei (rice cracker) and they began to associate this with the traditional widespread Japanese customary head bow.

Thus these deer have learned to bow back to humans as they associate the action with receiving the delicious senbei. It is pretty amazing to be able to just walk up to a random wild deer and bow at it and have it bow back to you. It is also unreal to see so many deer roaming among human civilization, as in the United States you really only see deer hiding in the woods or jumping onto incoming traffic. They are very friendly and do not mind if you pet them or touch their antlers or anything.

After hanging out with the deer for a while we made our way to the Kasuga Taisha Shrine, which is known for having over 3000 donated lanterns, which are all lit together 3 times a year. We obviously did not get to see this but they had a dark room where you could walk through and see what it would be like with simulated lit up lanterns which was decently cool. This temple was built originally in 768, and I am always amazed that they were capable of creating such massive and beautiful structures over 1000 years ago.

After leaving this shrine, we broke for lunch and some friends and I went to a place called "Happy Kitchen" which had a variety of foods and I ended up ordering a Tonkatsu (pork cutlet) Sando (sandwich). This meal was okay but I probably should have gotten the Teriyaki chicken pizza, as I have literally never heard of that before anywhere, but I would feel weird getting pizza so many times in close proximity.

After lunch we headed over to the Todaiji temple, which is one of the largest wooden buildings in the world, and at one point did hold the record. This temple was built in about 750 and has been reconstructed a few times since (as with most every ancient temple/shrine in Japan). This temple is known as the "Great Eastern Temple" and was honestly one of my favorite temples that we have visited.

This temple was also home to the Great Buddha Hall, where one of the biggest Bronze Buddha statues in Japan resides, standing at about 50 feet. This statue represents Vairocana, who is a cosmic Buddha. There is also a belief that if you can fit inside of the Buddha's nose, you will have a good life when you are reborn, and there is a small 18 inch in diameter hole inside of one of the pillars which is allegedly the same size as the nostril of the actual statue. I was able to slip through the hole pretty easily so I am looking forward to a good rebirth I suppose.

After this our group was free for the day so I decided to head over to the Manyo Botanical Garden, which was a short walk from Todaiji Temple. The garden itself was really nice though I must have gotten there just a bit too late in the season as there was not much in bloom and I was hoping to see lots of colorful flowers. The garden was still nice and I enjoyed walking around and viewing all the plants and big trees that they had. It was also pretty funny to see the koi gulping for air above the water trying to get food as people will often throw pellets in here.

After this I made my way back to the hotel to rewrite my blog post where I currently reside. After chilling at the hotel for a bit I met up with a friend to grab some dinner, though the ramen place we were going to go to was closed we decided to hit up a yakitori spot a bit of a ways down the road. This was pretty fun as you can just order whatever you want on your phone as much as you want and each item costs no more than ¥200.

Academic Reflection

After going through the readings for today and participating in the class discussion, I feel that I have strengthened my understanding of Vairocana, and Buddhism in general. Getting to learn about how Vairocana is a cosmic primordial Buddha is pretty interesting in all honesty, as I previously was under the impression that there were no gods in Buddhism, but after this study abroad trip I know now that this is not really the case. While I knew that there were monks and such who had reached enlightenment, most notably Siddhartha Guatama, but many others. I did not know that there existed Buddha's from "immeasurable" years ago, as this to me seems in more close resemblance to other monotheistic gods. It was also interesting hearing about how Kukai founded Shingon Buddhism, which is different from other forms as it is based off of information received straight from Vairocana, rather than given from a "secondary" manifestion Buddha such as Guatama. This was also interesting to hear how there are so many different types of Buddhism and each believes that they have the most accurate information, which differs from Christianity for example where the Bible does not change much usually. Being at the Great Buddha Hall and seeing the massive statue gave me a good insight into how widespread of a reach these religions can have, and how if Kukai never had a dream about the sutra, this all may not have existed.

[allyn211]

Make the left turn at . . . Loll?

Make the left turn at . . . Loll? Bugs Bunny, in many of his cartoons, winds up in weird places and then complains, "I KNEW I should have taken that left turn at Alberquerque!" (In the cartoon, Bugs Bunny In King Arthur's Court, he adds, "I will never, never take directions from Ray Bradbury ever again!) When one man had to make a left turn, he discovered something about his wife he never knew. In Coal Troll's Blog, written by John M. Williams, a native of Harlan County, Kentucky, Williams describes growing up in Harlan County and comments that "Harlan County is not on the way to anywhere." He's right. If you wind up in Harlan County, there is a 99% chance that you meant to get there. (I was born in Harlan County; my family moved away when I was four but we've made many trips back since. My last visit was in 2019, to scatter a portion of my mother's ashes on her father's grave.)  After Williams wrote the entry "The Harlan County Way" in February, 2013, he got a total of over 200 comments talking about life in Eastern Kentucky. The majority of the comments were positive memories.  One man, not born in Harlan County, told the following story, retold in my words: He'd married a woman born and raised in Harlan who'd moved to Indiana when she was a teenager. On vacation, they decided to go see the woman's sister.  They'd been driving south, so I wouldn't know if they'd turned right or left -- although I suspect it was left, if they were coming from the direction I think they were.  In any event, when they reached Pineville, Kentucky, there's only one way from Pineville to Harlan, and that is US Route 119. It's been repaved, widened, repaved, and rerouted over the years. (I remember riding over the road one time and seeing two construction machines parked on the side, one with "CAT" and the other with "Caterpillar" on the side.) When I drove it in 2019, it took about a half hour to get from Pineville to Harlan. My cousin later reminded me that it used to take about an hour and I said, "Yeah, I thought it was a long drive from Pineville!" The driver in the comment was driving on US 119, looking for the turnoff to Loll.  He was quite surprised when his wife informed him (his words were "chastised soundly") for missing the road. So, he made a U-turn and drove back down US 119, then made yet another U-turn and drove back towards Harlan, this time much more slowly.  His wife told him to take the turn at Loyall.  Why? he asked.  This is where my sister lives, she responded. In Harlan County, Loyall is not pronounced like the word "loyal." It is pronounced, "L-O-L-L." He commented, that was the day that he learned that when you turned onto US 119 at Pineville, his wife "changed languages and needed a translator." I believe it. She stopped speaking English and started speaking Appalachian.  I spent almost five years of my life in Harlan County. I still count myself as a Harlan Countian, even though I have not lived there since 1968. These days, I proofread depositions from a court reporting firm in Louisville. (Someone once asked me, "Do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky LEW-e-ville, Louis-ville, or Loo-ville?" My answer:  "You actually pronounce it Frankfort.")  Specifically, I proofread depositions for civil cases, and many of those depositions have come from Eastern Kentucky. Whenever I see the words, "Mamaw" and "Papaw" in a deposition, I just mentally nod my head and say, "Yep, they're from Kentucky." (I know there's other areas of the country that use "Mamaw" and "Papaw."  Here's one other reason I knew Loyall was pronounced "Loll".  My father graduated from high school there, from the now-closed Loyall High School. So, Bugs Bunny, next time you turn right at Alburquerque, if you wind up in Harlan County, don't be shocked if you think they speak a foreign language there.  Because they do. And for many people, that language is the language of home. Just my .04, adjusted for inflation. via Blogger https://ift.tt/Eu5NL4l January 18, 2023 at 08:31PM

[srafseeker]

bro i can’t wait for s3 mary to have a good time chillin w/ the m.ulefas in the background while everyone is just *chaos*

[finelinevogue]

HI I JUST WANTED TO SAY I FOUND UR BLOG LAST NIGHT AND IM ALREADY ADDICTED TO UR WORKS. YOURE SO TALENTED !! could u do a blurb where the reader is harry’s gf and watching him perform on stage and he invites her up on stage to dance ?

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! LOVE YOU ALREADY!!! this one is for you <33 ;

Harry was an absolute beast up on stage.

Night one of Vegas was a complete success so far and you never wanted it to end. From the moment that you woke up in your Vegas hotel room to the moment when he popped up out of the centre stage to start singing Golden, there wasn’t a moment where you didn’t feel an intimate and enormous amount of pride for him. He looked just so happy and that’s all you could ever wish for.

You were stood next to Jeff and Glenne, watching as Harry performed his beautiful heart out on stage. A lot of the fans around you had spotted you and were calling your name to grab your attention and get photos of you, but you were too shy to respond to any of them. So you kept on watching Harry perform.

The funky and even more upbeat version of Canyon Moon started playing and you knew what was coming next. Harry had prompted you that he might incorporate you somehow into this next segment and you were excited at the time, now you were just completely nervous. Shaky hands, goosebumps, the lot.

“Now I know you all loved the dancing for this next one,” The fans started screaming and shouting, because they instantly knew he was on about Treat People With Kindness, “but unfortunately my dance partner Phoebe is not here tonight.” He kept pausing to let the fans scream, prolonging your nerves, “however,” he walked from the main stage down to the B-stage, “there is someone here tonight who knows the dance and how to dance with me specifically.” He smiled, fiddling with his earpiece.

Your heart stopped. You think?

“Oh my fuck.” You muttered, as Jeff nudged your shoulder playfully and people around you started screaming your name even louder.

Then the light shone on you and you were blinded, only to see what was directly behind you and to the sides. You had to squint or cover your eyes if you wanted to see Harry. You shoved your hands inside your blazer pockets, fidgeting with your fingers inside out of nerves. Harry could instantly tell how you felt.

“Now she’s slightly nervous, so please be kind to her. Y/N, my love?” He asked sweetly, making it hard to say no to him. You squinted to see he was wearing a plea full smile and you wanted to wipe it right off his cheeky face. God he was irresistible. “Come on. Please?” He begged.

“Go on!” Glenne pushed you forwards slightly, making you shuffle sing in your cream-white boots that matched Harry’s.

“What am I doing?” You asked yourself, as people began to chant your name and egg you forwards. Seriously, what were you doing?

You started to walk forwards and through the barriers where Harry would run off the stage later. You said hello to a couple of fans on the way, giving them a quick smile and wave. Harry stood at the end of the platform, holding out a hand for you. One of the security guards gave you a leg up and Harry pulled you the rest of the way, embracing you in a tight hug when he got ahold of you.

“Y’okay?” He asked into your ear, even with all the noise throughout the arena you could still hear him as clear as a new day.

“Probably.” You spoke unsure, knowing you were in the direct spotlight now. Harry chuckled and pressed a kiss to your cheek, making the fans go absolutely wild. You both laughed and walked hand in hand back to the main stage.

“Give it up for my beautiful Y/N!” Harry shouted into his mic and you had to bite your lip from grinning like an idiot. He made you feel so safe and loved and you’d have to especially thank him for that later. The fans screamed for you, many of them shouting that they loved you as you walked past them. You blew kisses to a few of them threw your mask and they pretended to catch them.

Harry dropped your hand to go and set up his electrics for TPWK, grabbing a couple of pride flags as he did so. Harry handed you one and he took the other. It was so warm up here and you understood why Harry was so sweaty and hot now, not that you were complaining at all about how he looked because fuck did he look like a God below. You placed the flag between your pink trousered legs that matched your suit jacket, only to start pulling off your jacket, teasingly slow just for Harry, and throwing it off to the side so you were now just in your cream-white bralette and pink trousers. You were excited that you matched Harry.

The fans screamed so loud when it took your jacket off and pointed their cameras towards Harry, either to film his reaction, which was him just shaking his head and looking away from you otherwise he wouldn’t be able to control himself, or to encourage him to whip off his jacket too.

“Off, off, off!” The crowd shouted, you hoped to Harry because you having your tits out fully would probably get you arrested unlike you - double fucking standards just because you were a woman…

“Oh shut up! You can already see everything!” Harry laughed into the microphone, making you and everyone else laugh too. You wrapped the pride flag around you, tying it up so it wouldn’t fall off. Harry just held onto his instead.

The song began and you stood their, kind of awkwardly, waiting for Harry to let you know what you were allowed to do and where to go. Harry came over to you, strutting like he was on a cat walk, and twirled you around with the arm holding the flag. You laughed at how messy and uncoordinated you both were, having never performed this before now. When you were up here with him though, everything else sort of disappeared as if it were just you and him. It allowed you to become more comfortable in yourself and before long you were dancing around like a maniac.

You spiralled the stage, waving to fans and dancing how they were dancing too. You blew kisses and gave air hugs to people, complimenting the fans that you could see with their epic outfits. Harry was always on the same side of the stage as you, wanting to be as near to you as possible in case something went wrong, because then it did.

When the bridge part of the song came, Harry put down his microphone and started doing the dance that he choreographed in the TPWK music video. You quite happily danced along with him, pretending it was just you and him again dancing at home with one another instead of on a stage in an arena in front of thousands. It was going well until you accidentally tripped over a cable, falling over and landing on your bum. Harry was really worried at first, the song still playing in the background, but as soon as he saw you laughing he joined in and pulled you back up to him.

“Y’alright?” He shouted and you nodded, still laughing through the embarrassment and the shock. No doubt that would be trending on twitter tonight. You were just trying to give your best performance though, that’s all.

You and Harry danced through the rest of the song together, twirling around in each others arms and dancing as if nobody else was watching you but each other. It was so fun and you couldn’t believe that you’d actually been nervous at one point. You finished the song the same way the music video ended, Harry leaning over your arms and you holding him to make sure he didn’t fall. It was such a good finish and the atmosphere felt electric. It was charged with so much positivity, you swore you could never not be happy ever again.

Harry stood back up, giving you a kiss to your lips without second thought that everyone could see. You didn’t mind though because he tasted so good and felt even better. He made you so happy and you could just feel him giving off the same energy as you. You laughed as he let you go and took your hand for a bow.

“Y/N, everyone!” Harry shouted through his microphone and everyone cheered for you. You bowed once more to the other side of the stage, before collecting your jacket and running back off stage so Harry could continue the show without you.

He didn’t let you go without telling you he loved you so much, though.

[mishasminions]

The Last Time I’ll Write a Long Post About Supernatural (15x18-15x20)

15 YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW. 11 YEARS OF RUNNING A BLOG ABOUT IT. IT’S BEEN QUITE A RIDE.

[15x20 Speculation + evidence at the bottom]

First off, I just wanna come clean and say, after all these years, I still think they should’ve ended at Season 5.

If you’re going to come at me with “Then why’d you stick around to watch it if you didn’t like it?”, your question is immature, and the answer is simple: I just want to know what happens next (I also love the main characters and their actors too). You can watch a show and still think it’s shit.

Call me a clown, but despite all the disappointment and trust issues that this show has given me, I would still look forward to the day where it might just turn itself around and bring back the quality it once had, or realize the potential of each story it was trying to tell, or at the very least, do justice by my favorite ship.

Never happened.

They’ve had a few good episodes here and there. I can’t imagine the SPN Universe without The Man Who Would Be King, The French Mistake, and Scoobynatural. Seasons 6-10 were enjoyable at times. I blocked out most of 7 & 11-15. 

If you’ve been following this blog since its heydays in 2010-2014, you’d know I’d try my best to defend Destiel and this show’s decisions regarding it no matter what.

Because you know what, as a CONCEPT, this show is good. If you take a look at all the worlds its storylines have birthed in fanfiction/fanworks, you’d see how much Supernatural has wasted its own story arcs. The writing got shittier as each season progressed, and they’ve obviously given up in production as well because the quality in the execution has noticeably gone down too, but if you take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, you’ll see that this show still tries to make sense of itself.

[If you’re still following this post, please bear with me, I know this is long, but I just want you to understand how jaded and pessimistic I am with regards to this show, so maybe you can buy into whatever hopeful thing I’m about to say later on.]

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT DESTIEL

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would give us Castiel’s “I love you” speech. To the point where, if I weren’t so desperate for it, I would argue that it was completely out of character for him to word vomit the way he did (but I’m not gonna diss on that right now because I’ll take what I can get).

I’ve valued every meaningful and obscure exchange that Dean and Cas have had in the earlier seasons, and I was willing to accept their relationship as just that--undefined, without any clear boundaries as to what they really are. And I think that was beautiful on its own.

But now, they’ve chosen to define it.

After they’ve driven every possible wedge between Dean and Castiel in seasons 11-15, to try to explain away their feelings as something they offer to a collective.

Dean can’t mourn and pray for JUST Cas, he has to mourn and pray for EVERYBODY--even Crowley, even some chick he just met, because god forbid he cries about just the guy who has given up everything for him--that would be “too homo”.

They’ve even set Cas on a path to abrupt fatherhood just so he can care about something other than Dean. Make it seem as if Dean wasn’t his purpose through and through.

And after all these years of this stupid show trying to deny it, they choose to acknowledge it at the worst possible circumstance, at a time where they’ve been so far apart, that it seems so foreign for them to suddenly come together.

But here we are. And they’ve chosen to tell us.

Chosen to tell us that everything that Castiel has done leading up to his death, he has done it because he was IN LOVE WITH DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that the ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE CAS HAPPY IS DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that BEING WITH DEAN WINCHESTER is something that CAS WANTS BUT KNOWS HE CAN’T HAVE.

And they’ve also chosen to tell us nothing about how Dean feels.

Sure, finding out your angel made a deal, the stipulations of said deal, his newfound happiness philosophy, his long-winded monologue of why he loves you and why you’re worthy of his love, and to top it all off he tells you that being in love with you is enough to make him happy while he subtly hints that he’s always wanted to be WITH you romantically, was a lot to process in the 5 minutes after you’ve just had an existential crisis.

It’s whatever, right? Let’s culminate 11 years worth of tension and feelings in 5 minutes. Let’s waste the entire episode with cringey expository dialogue, and irrelevant sequences. The whole season was a waste anyway.

You know what Supernatural? FUCK YOU FOR THAT. They deserved better. WE deserve better.

And I would love nothing more than to hurl every possible insult your way,

But for the last time, I’m going to HOPE that you’re finally going to try to make it better for the fans that stuck by you all these years.

No more baiting new viewers, no more placating casual viewers, no more excuses. 15 years. Bring it home for the people who have actually been around.

SO HERE’S HOW I THINK 15x20 IS GONNA GO

There’s two ways this series is gonna end. Horribly or Spectacularly.

First let’s all take into consideration what Andrew Dabb says about it:

So, let’s start with

ENDING HORRIBLY

In this scenario, Misha is telling the truth about his last day of filming being 15x18. His “camping trip” during the last few days of filming 15x20, was actually a camping trip. He doesn’t go to Vancouver to shoot.

Jensen wasn’t “being careful” during the zoom interviews that it was just him and Jared quarantining for the shoot, it really was just him and Jared (althought most of these were done pre 15x19) Supernatural isn’t smart enough to do misleading PR, and they’re once again oblivious to the potential of their own story.

Misha hasn’t posted a “Goodbye Castiel” tweet because he’s probably saving it for last episode or he forgot because it was overshadowed by the Destiel trend that night.

So what we get is:

Sam and Dean are on the road again, up against the monster of the week. Only their world no longer has actual Supernatural beings anymore, so the monsters they’re fighting are humans.

Humans end up killing the Winchesters (despite having gone up against literally every powerful being imaginable INCLUDING God himself). Dean and Sam end up in heaven and relive their greatest hits.

Meanwhile, Castiel rots in The Empty because he died after realizing that he was happy and gay. Jack doesn’t bother rescuing him—his surrogate dad, the guy who made this specific deal to spare him—even though it was so easy for him get Cas in and out of The Empty when he had a fraction of the power that he has now.

Dean never speaks of Castiel’s confession because despite all the hints of a profound bond in the earlier seasons, and the fact that Dean has never cared for anyone (who isn’t his actual brother) as immensely as he does Cas, Supernatural just can’t have its main macho character be “suddenly bisexual” because that would hurt the male ego or some shit.

His heaven would probably be living happily ever after with his family. “Family” meaning Mary and John Winchester--two of the shittiest parents ever (but they’re not going to include them in this episode like they were supposed to because of Covid) and Sam.

Sam also gets a dog. As usual.

I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to do this. After everything they’ve pulled, this would be right up their alley. I actually expect this ending.

Anyway, onto the next possible ending

ENDING SPECTACULARLY

In this scenario, Supernatural tries to stick the landing, and Jensen’s whole “It didn’t sit well with me at first, but then I took a step back after talking to Kripke, and realized that I had to view it from an audience perspective, I am now really excited about it” (DC Con 2019) anecdote about his thoughts on the final episodes, were actually about Dean potentially ending up with Cas. (Which would totally make sense because Jensen at first didn’t see Dean as anything but hetero, but as of late, he has been throwing in Destiel jokes of his own, so he seems to have warmed up to the idea)

Backed with Misha’s tidbit (DLConline 2020) that he and Jensen had conversations about Destiel, and that they wouldn’t have gone through with it if Jensen wasn’t onboard with it, but Jensen didn’t push back at all. (Why would they need to check with Jensen if it was just Cas going all in?)

Robert Berens (writer of 15x18) also wrote the script at the beginning of Season 15, but made Misha privy to the concept a year prior (Season 14), so they went into this season knowing about Destiel going canon.

This one’s a reach, but this scenario also supposes that Misha was lying about his whereabouts during the filming of the final episode, and him saying that 15x18 was his last episode is part of the diversion to avoid taking away from the weight of Castiel’s death.

And that Supernatural is actually self-aware of its own material (similar to how they have wrapped things up in the past—lots of expository dialogue, poor execution, but fulfills the story arc)

Since Season 15 is basically a Meta Season (Chuck/God as a writer, pretentiously calling out how he created the worlds, its characters, and basically invalidating the past 14 seasons), and 15x19 is supposedly the finale for Season 15, written by two of the worst Supernatural writers, Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming (Bob Singer’s wife), then we can assume that 15x19 is where the shitty writers kill themselves--as Chuck, of course.

So we get a badly written episode that produces a bad ending, or as Becky put it, “All action, and no Cas”

So we get the bad writers season ending at 15x19.

And 15x20 is where Sam and Dean write their own stories, and where the cast had a hand in pitching ideas for it.

Dabb has mentioned that 15x20 (Act Two) is a SERIES finale, where they try to resolve the characters’ journeys.

Because as everyone has acknowledged, Supernatural isn’t about the story, it’s about the characters.

So here’s what we can get out of it:

With no more Supernatural beings left to fight, Sam and Dean are in a stalemate. They’ve resigned themselves to fighting to the bitter end, but the “end” has passed, and they’re still standing.

So they try to figure out who they are now, and what they want out of the life they still have.

Sam still wants a normal apple pie life. Before Dean dragged him out of college to go hunting with him, he had a whole life planned out for him. Become a lawyer, settle down with a nice girl, and get a dog. He gave all that up because they had work to do, but now the work is finished, he can finally go back to wanting that for himself again.

Dean finally realizes his self-worth after Cas saves him again. His prayer to Cas in purgatory may have helped him come to terms with his anger, but the whole “you’ve done everything you did for love” speech finally put him in his place, and he learns not to hate himself anymore.

But of course, he cannot fully reconcile with himself if he doesn’t get Cas back, and tell him how he feels.

Because Dean actually wants something for himself this time. Something he knows he can finally have if he can just salvage it.

So maybe this time around, with the help of Jack (off-screen), Dean saves Cas. Grips him tight and raises him from perdition.

They bypass The Empty deal by turning Cas human, and he lives the rest of his days with Dean.

Dean and Cas know they deserve to be saved, and they know that they deserve to be happy.

(Wishful thinking, maybe they kiss a little)

Anyway...

I’m just saying, there’s NO WAY that they’d have Cas go through that whole rushed speech, if they weren’t going to do anything about it later on.

But again, after 10 years of disappointment, I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to pat themselves on the back and say, “Okay, we sort of gave them what they wanted. We’re good now”

If that’s the case, Supernatural, I’m sorry I wasted my time on you.

Here’s to hoping 🤡

[acourtofidiots]

Heartbreak Weather [part three]

⇨ wc: 2.2k

⇨ warnings: angst, smut (car sex, semi-public (?) sex, fingering, a bit of dirty talk), Gar being a pure bean

⇨ a/n: :)

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PLEASE HAVE YOUR AGE IN YOUR BLOG IN ORDER TO INTERACT / MINORS AND THOSE W/O THEIR AGE IN THEIR BLOG WILL BE BLOCKED

Tick, tick, tick.

The sound of the grandfather clock outside of your room was driving you insane. It was just another reminder of your mistakes, that you were stuck here until Conner, Gar, and Dick figured out how to turn off the bomb. You hated it. 

You were about to telepathically lift a chair across from you and throw it at the clock when Gar peaked his head around the corner, two controllers in his hands. 

“Thought you might want some company,” giving you a crooked smile before sitting down next to you and handing you a controller. You returned his grin, turning on the TV and flicking the source button to the counsel. 

“Mario Kart?” You ask, cursor hovering over the square image of Mario and his friends racing down a track. 

“Only if you let me kick your ass,” Gar challenges. You laugh and hit the button.

Gar’s distraction was nice. After several rounds, you had almost forgotten why he was there in the first place. 

“Fuck you, Gar!” You exclaim, watching your character spin on a banana peel that was dropped by Gar. He cackled, tilting his controller to maneuver his character to turn the corner on the track, the sight of the finish line dead ahead. 

You hit a question mark box, waiting for it to stop spinning before you grinned. A red shell, perfect. You maneuvered your way behind Gar’s character, throwing the shell at him and watching his character fly backward. 

“No!” He exclaimed, watching your kart cross the finish line. “I was so close!”

You toss the controller onto the floor and grinned at him. “Better luck next time.” He sticks his tongue out at you before you fall into a comfortable silence. 

“Conner’s working on a way to fix this,” says Gar. You tilt your head in question. “We discovered that the patent for the bomb was developed by Wayne Enterprises. It’s a surgical EKG detonation implant.” You furrowed your brows.

“So, Bruce was making weapons to kill people?” Gar shrugs.

“Apparently. Even Dick didn’t know about that.” So Bruce was keeping secrets. What else was new?

“So now what?” You ask. Surely since they discovered the patent, they could find out how to disable it. 

“Conner read up on the specs and is working on building a detonator for the device since the bomb you have was the first prototype.” A breath of relief leaves your mouth. There was hope that you weren’t gonna die. 

You sink back into the mountain of pillows. “That’s good,” you say, turning your head towards the Titan. “Hey, Gar?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for distracting me.”

Gar leaves soon after your conversation after Conner requested his help, leaving you with the ticking clock once again. You were getting antsy, wanting to move around and stretch your legs but that would only increase your heart rate. You could only stare at the ceiling, letting your thoughts drift back to the last time you saw him before he died. 

You were visiting him on a weekend trip to Gotham. After the fallout he had with the Titans, you knew he needed to go back home to Bruce, but you were unable to bear the thought of being so far away from him. So, you pleaded with Dick to let you go, needing to get away from the death and chaos of San Francisco while you grieved over Donna’s death. He agreed, letting you fly to visit him every other weekend, and you were eternally grateful for him. 

That day, he took you to a lake that was about an hour or so outside of Gotham. He didn’t tell you where you were going, only telling you to pack a swimsuit and a towel with you before you left the manor. A 2 mile hike later and you reached the lake, sunlight filtering through the light and making the whole area look like it came straight out of a fantasy film. 

“Jason!” You laugh, splashing water at him. He gives you a toothy grin, splashing you back which in turn evolved into a full-scale splashing war, trying to get the other the wettest. 

“Give it up, Y/N!” He calls, pushing his hands toward you and sending water towards your chest. 

“Never!” You splash him back even harder at that, causing him to turn away to avoid getting water in his eyes. 

“Oh you little-” He starts before diving under the water. You squeal as you try to swim away, heading towards the shore of the lake. He captures your ankle and you gasp. He breaks the surface moments later, moving his hands towards your waist. His thumbs trace your hip bones, head dipping down to press delicate kisses on the smooth skin of your neck.

“I love you, Jason,” you hummed. He trails his lips up to yours, pressing them against you in a searing kiss. You stood like this for a while, the lake lapping at your skin while your tongues battled for dominance. Hands roamed each other's bodies, familiar with the dips and curves of each other through countless hours tangled in the bedsheets.

He bites your lip as he pulls back, one hand dipping underneath your swim bottoms while the other twists your right nipple. “Fuck, I love you, too,” he says, slipping a finger in your hole. Your nails dig into his skin, body heating up as he slowly pumped the finger in and out. 

“Jason,” you whine and grins, his green eyes almost black from the lust of the moment. He loves how whiney you get when he works your body like this. 

“What do you want, princess?” He murmurs. Your squealed as he pinches your nipple, the sharp shoot of pain mixing together with the pleasure of his digit dragging against your sensitive walls. 

“More,” your words slur together, your brain a jumbled mess as he inserts another finger into you. You tug at his curls, eliciting a hiss from your boyfriend before he pulls back altogether. Your hips chase his hand, water slapping against his chest from your movements. He takes your hand in his, giving you a peck on your lips before heading towards the car. 

“Okay, baby, I can give you more,” he coos. He reaches the sandy shore, tossing your towel at you before he takes his own, rubbing the fabric across his body. You stared at him, transfixed on the way the afternoon sun reflected against the water droplets that were racing down his skin. You were so fucking lucky. 

The sound of the car door opening pulls you from your thoughts and you quickly dry yourself off before hopping into the back seat, Jason following soon after. He practically pounces on you as soon as the door shuts, lips attacking yours. Hands scramble to remove the fabric on your bodies, not caring if they were accidentally torn from how eager you were for each other. 

Eventually, his cock was freed, slipping between your drenched folds and rubbing against you. Your hips bucked up into his, wanting to get the tip into you, but he wasn’t having it. Jason pressed his hands into your hips, effectively stopping your hips from moving. 

“Beg for it,” he says. 

You pout. “Please, Jason, please give me your cock.” You flutter your eyelashes, hoping the added dramatics would convince him to satisfy the ache between your legs. 

He doesn't budge. “C’mon, Y/N I know you can do better.” 

“Please, Jason, I need your cock so fucking badly. I want your cock so deep inside my pussy that I’ll feel it for days. Please, Jay, please?” Your answer seemed to be satisfactory because the next moment, he was burying his throbbing length inside you. 

You gasped as his thick cock stretched out your tight walls, legs automatically wrapping around his waist to pull him in closer.  Pulling him into a kiss, you moaned as he fully bottomed out, the tip resting against your cervix. 

“Fuck, baby, you’re so tight,” your boyfriend muttered, tongue swiping against your lips as he pulled his hips back before sliding forward again. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the car, his dick picking up speed. 

“You like that?” Jason pulled away from your intoxicating lips, lust-blown eyes boring into yours. You nodded, holding back a whimper as his thumb came down to rub at your clit. Your legs spasmed as he pressed down on your sensitive button, heels digging into his skin as you felt the knot in your stomach start to tighten. 

“F-fuck baby, I-I’m gonna cum,” you moaned. He quickened his pace, eager to join you as you feel his cock start to twitch inside you. 

“Please, baby girl, cum all over my cock.” His words sent you over the edge, falling down from your peak as you felt Jason reach his own. He pulls out, hand wrapping around his dick and stroking a few times before thick, white ropes cover your stomach and breasts. You scoop a glob that landed just below your breasts, popping the finger into your mouth as he looked at you with glazed eyes. 

“Oh, you’re really asking for it now,” he growls, pulling on his swimsuit again before clambering into the front seat. “You’re so getting it when we get back.”

You giggle as he starts the car, pulling on your garments before joining him in the front seat. “I’m looking forward to it, baby.”

You yearned for those moments again. You missed holding him in your arms after he has a nightmare, playing with his curls as he lays his head on your chest. You missed how competitive he got when you played Monopoly with Gar and Rachel, arguing if him forming an alliance with you was allowed. 

You wanted to be in his arms again. But you knew that would never happen ever again. 

Several hours passed and you grew increasingly more anxious. Just under an hour left and Conner still hadn’t finished the detonator (something about having to match the electrical charge for the lock on the bomb) but Gar assured you that he was almost finished, with just under a 20% failure rate. 

As you awaited for the completed detonator, Kory and Dawn came to check in on you, and you were grateful for their presence. Their calming auroras settled the anxious butterflies in your stomach as they checked over your vitals. But once they left, the creaks of Wayne Manor filled the silence. 

Fuck, you were so angry. Angry at Jason, yes, but also at yourself. You should have known better. Jason wasn’t the same boy you knew. He became sharper, lethal, dangerous. That right there should have stopped you. But for some reason, a deep part of you believed that he still loved you, despite him putting a fucking bomb on you. 

Your phone buzzed next to you, Dick Grayson popping up on the screen signaling a text message from your teammate. 

Found out who got Jason to the pit. Name is Cyrus Beake. I’m heading over to his apartment to find him. Thought I should let you know. 

Hope swelled in your chest. So close to be saved. You typed back a quick reply.

Thank you Dick. Good luck.

You set your phone down as Gar came rushing into the room, panting as he leaned against the doorway. “Conner’s almost got it! 5% chance of failure now!”

“Fucking finally!” You exclaimed as you looked over at the heart rate monitor. 

Just under 2000 beats left. You turn back to Gar.

“Go! I’ll be fine!” You urge, and he takes off again, almost crashing into Hank who appeared behind him. 

He stood awkwardly in the doorway, hands stuffed in his jean pockets as he shifted his weight between his feet. “Look, Y/N, I just want to apologize for earlier. I shouldn’t have yelled at you--”

“Hank, it’s fine. You’re just looking out for me.” You gave him a small smile. “Honestly, I don’t blame you for your reaction. I was an idiot who almost got herself killed.” A beep sounded from his watch, the vigilante looking down at it and frowning. 

I hope Dick isn’t in trouble, you thought. “What’s wrong?”

“Dick’s vitals are coming through. He and Jason must be facing off. I gotta go to the Cave to make sure he’s alright.” And with that, he takes off for the Cave. 

Fuck. You were about to call down to the Cave to make sure that the detonator was almost read when Conner came shooting into the room. He rushes over to your bed, attaching the device to the bomb and standing back. Beep.

You glance down at your chest, the countdown frozen in place. You were saved. 

You ran out of bed, throwing your arms around your best friend. He hugs you back, buff arms wrapped tightly around you. The pit of anxiety released its grip on you, your body practically melting in his embrace. 

A cough echoed from the hallway, causing you and Conner to pull away. Dick, clad in his Nightwing costume, frowned at the two of you. 

“What happened, Dick?” You took a hesitant step forward. 

“Meeting in the Cave in 5 minutes.” And with that, he disappeared towards his room. 

Fuck, that couldn’t be good.

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[fredshufflepuff]

hiii can i request fred enemies to lovers with short hufflepuff reader where he just tease her endlessly abt her height and usually the reader ignores it but overtime it just becomes one of her biggest insecurities. other students began to bully the reader for the same reason and she just feel so unfair that they are doing that for something she cannot control. she became extremely quiet and avoid large crowd overall and fred noticed that. he saw what the other students are doing and saying abt the reader and got angry at them. he confronts reader and apologizes for everything he had done and tells her that she was perfect in her own way. sorry if it’s so long and detailed or confusing 😅 thank uuu i love your blog smmm

out of my control || f.w ✧˖*°࿐

summary: fred makes fun of your height relentlessly but doesn’t realize how it’s slowly breaking you.

a/n: did i not know how to head it? yes. are you going to bully me for it? NO >:(

warnings: enemies to lovers, fem!reader, language, teasing, draco being a bully >:/, asshole fred

word count: 1,982

“hey shortstack” a familiar voice taunted, the feeling of a sudden presence forming behind you.

you were on your tip toes trying to grab a potions book for your upcoming exam, obviously failing since it was placed on the second highest shelf.

you could’ve used your wand to wisk it down, but last time you did that you almost made the entire bookshelf come down.

which only peeved off madam pince into threatening you with a weeks worth of detention.

“what do you want, fred?” you asked, turning around and facing the dick who never seems to leave you alone.

“nothing much” he shrugged, reaching over you and grabbing the book you had been trying to get, “just wanted to see you.”

“see me?” your eyebrows raised in confusion as your head titled to the side, your fingers coming up to grab the book but fred pulled away.

“wow, short and gullible?” he laughed, tossing the book to the top of the shelf before walking off, your face heating up as you scoffed at his comment.

“bastard...”

a week went by of freds teasing only increasing, the boy commenting on your height and how small you were whenever he could, which, was a lot.

you didn’t know why he picked on you so much. you never crossed him in any way—that you knew of.

but you also didn’t want to come off as sensitive.

fred didn’t necessarily bully you per say, but his jabs and comments about how you looked—especially on things you couldn’t control, really stung.

you were currently paired with fred for a potions assignment, snape choosing the partners before telling everyone to get started.

“get the cauldron” the boy said, waving his hand at you before plopping himself down in the chair, your eyes narrowing at him in annoyance.

“you know i can’t fucking reach the cauldrons” you snapped, going to sit but fred pulled your chair away.

“that’s why i told you to go get it, it’ll be funny seeing you make a fool of yourself” he snapped, turning away from you with your chair so you couldn’t sit.

“go fuck yourself” you mumbled, storming towards the shelves of cauldrons as students started to make their way back.

you stood in front of the intimidating shelf with a heart clenching feeling in your chest. fred was right, you were destined to embarrass yourself—and no way in hell would snape let you levitate one down.

you looked around the room for a stool you could use, a frown on your face when you didn’t see one.

your hands reached up as you raised to your toes, squinting your eyes and turning your head to the side as you tried to grab the cauldron.

your fingers gripped the cool material of the pot before slowly sliding it towards you, not knowing how close it was to the edge until it dropped.

dropped on you.

it fell heavy on your foot as you yelped loudly in pain, falling to the ground as your hands tried desperately to catch yourself.

“ms.y/l/n! detention for two weeks, are you out of your mind?!” snape barked, everyone’s eyes on yours including freds.

“i-i didn’t do it on purpos—”

“zip it! longbottom-” snape snapped, the boy jumping nervously as he stuttered out a small ‘yes sir?’

“-bring her to madam pomfrey, come straight back when you’re done.”

you spent only an hour in the infirmary, pomfrey claiming you had sprained your foot, but broke your big toe in the process.

pomfrey wanted to keep you overnight, but you insisted on finishing your classes—or at least going back to rest in your dorm.

she gave you crutches and sent you on your way, reminding you that you were welcomed back to the infirmary if you changed your mind.

“crutches? really, tiny pants?”

“tiny pants?” you scoffed, adjusting your book bag that was threatening to fall, “really? how creative.”

“y’know, i was going to help you with your bag, but i think i’ll just watch you struggle” he said, making you scoff as you rolled your eyes.

“like i needed your help.”

just as those words left your mouth, your bag dropped to the ground with a thud.

you groaned mentally to yourself as you stared at the bag, fred laughing his ass off as you tried asking him to pick it up.

you felt stupid asking, but you were tired and your toe was in pain, you just wanted to get to your dorm.

“see you later, short stack.”

you countered up a quick levitation spell, struggling to cast it since you were balancing on one arm, the other leaning on your crutch.

when you finally did grab it, you hobbled your way to the hufflepuff common room while mumbling profanity’s under your breath—mostly cursing out fred for not helping and instead calling you names.

over the next few days your toe fully healed, madam pomfrey giving you a nasty but effective potion to help heal your bone quicker.

“take these three vials after breakfast, lunch, and dinner. start tomorrow morning” pomfrey said, handing you the tiny clear bottles as you nodded in response.

“thank you, i really appreciate it.”

you made your way out of the infirmary and back to your dorm, slipping past the students that hurried past you for today’s quidditch game, slytherin vs gryffindor.

“hey, short stack!” a familiar and irritating voice called, your legs moving faster as you sped walk down the corridor.

the footsteps got closer as you soon felt a heavy arm fall onto your shoulder, a small grunt leaving your lips as you shoved the boy away.

“oooh, snappy now are we?”

“fuck off.”

fred only laughed at your words, tossing his clean sweep back and forth as he followed you to the dorms.

“coming to the game?”

“no” you grumbled, praying to merlin the annoying red head would just leave you alone.

“awh what a shame, i was hoping on seeing my favorite cheerleader there,” his words were laced with sarcasm, the boy poking at your face as you shoved him once again.

he wanted a reaction,that’s what fred always wanted.

but you didn’t give him one, instead you went straight to your common room and up to your dorm, fred soon getting bored and heading off to his game.

you didn’t remember much from that night, just falling asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow.

you trudged your way to the main hall with your book bag tossed lazily over your shoulder, today being a free day for students to catch up on missing work and assignments.

you were planning on grabbing something small for breakfast before heading to the library to catch up on some studying.

you were so lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice you had ran straight into another student, your legs stumbling back as they cursed at you.

“watch it, first year!” draco malfoy scolded at you, your eyebrows furrowing together as your mouth fell open.

“i-i’m not a first year, i’m in the same year as you—”

“she’s just short” crabbe snickered, the blonde next to him chuckling as he eyed you up and down—which, made you extremely uncomfortable.

“stay out of my way, or you’ll get trampled” he said, his words sharp as they practically dug into your skin.

trampled? was he being serious?

“better yet, stay out of everyone’s way.”

later that day you stayed locked away in your dorm, deciding to just study there and snack on the treats you bought earlier on in the week.

you thought it was just fred that felt that way towards you, but apparently it wasn’t.

were you really that much of a burden to people?

you stayed locked away in your dorm till almost night fall. your eyes were burning from staring at the same wooden desk and book you had brought with you, along with your stomach rumbling since you hadn’t eaten much that day.

you decided to head back down to the main hall to grab some dinner and then come back up, wanting to make the trip as quick as possible.

but of course, knowing your luck, that didn’t happen.

you were walking down the ‘somewhat’ empty corridor when your eyes landed on fred, the red head smirking as he saw you which only made your stomach churn.

you tried turning around to take another path, but ran face first into someone who had been walking behind you.

“it’s the short hufflepuff again” the voice cackled, shoving you to the ground as your body hit the concrete with a thud, a low groan falling from your lips as your head started to spin.

“i said stay out of my way or you’ll get trampled, and guess what, i was true to my word” malfoy sneered, his friends laughing at his comment as your face reddened with embarrassment.

tears were pricking your eyes and your chest was heaving up and down, you felt so small compared to everyone else, you felt so tiny and defenseless.

“you want to see trampled, malfoy?” a voice boomed from behind you, your head snapping to the side as you watched fred approaching you from behind.

you felt intimidated by him, the way his body loomed over yours made you feel sick, especially with how he’s been treating you.

“ah, weasley! come to see the show?”

“there is no show, unless you prefer your goons here to see you receive a black eye” he said calmly, the blonde narrowing his eyes at the boy before shoving past everyone, crabbe and goyle running after him.

fred turned to see if you were okay, his eyes softening as he watched tears roll down your face.

“are you oka-”

“okay?! am i o-okay?” you asked, picking yourself up and violently rubbing your tears away, “no i’m not fred! malfoy was never the problem, it was always you!”

“but i-”

“you what?!” you spat, “you were just joking?”

“y/n, i never meant to hurt you” he mumbled, his face heating up as guilt formed in his stomach. he’s been a dick to you all this time and has just now realized what his words were really doing.

“then what was your intention?” you asked.

“i-i just” he didn’t know what to say, there was only one thing to say, “i’m sorry.”

“s-sorry?”

“sorry for picking on you every day for something you can’t control, sorry for making you struggle when you clearly needed help” he spewed out, not even stopping to think as the words he’s been meaning to say fell from his mouth, “i think you’re absolutely perfect the way you are, and i realize now how much of a jerk i was—how much i was hurting you.”

“how can you make fun of something i can’t control and then come to me saying i’m perfect the way i am? are you out of your mind?!” you asked, voice holding annoyance but mostly hurt—what was fred trying to get at?

“i just thought- it’s stupid i know but, i just thought teasing you would be easier than admitting my feelings.”

“f-feelings?”

“for you” he says, voice only just above a whisper as he let his words sink into you. he has feelings for you?

“but i understand if you don’t feel the same, i was rotten to you. i wouldn’t even help you pick up your bag when you were in crutches! i was just so blinded by my own stupidity to actually man up and do something-”

you cut fred off by pulling him into a kiss, his rambling coming to a stop as he melted into your touch. you had to stand on your tip toes to reach him, but fred helped by leaning over and cupping your face.

“i think your height is adorable” he mumbled against your lips, a blush taking over your face as you pulled him back into the kiss.

“just shut up and kiss me.”

fred weasley tag list 🏷 @90smalfoy @astoria-malfcy @whipped-for-the-weasley-twins @ang9lic @malfoysbiitch @Harrypotter_Whore @aetheralist @miraclesoflove @amourtentiaa @myloveforluna @bellatrixscurls @an2402lths @marrymetheonott @skaratjung @wh0re4blaise @dreamxnotxfound @fjorelaant @pinkandblueblurbs

[dansnaturepictures]

23/06/2022-Blog two of two: Fen Bog Nature Reserve and call into Thornton Dale

We then moved onto here today back into the North York Moors, a stone’s throw from Goathland Viewpoint car park where we came on Sunday. It seems this was the place we actually meant to come to then to look for Large Heath butterflies so we had the wrong car park. Goathland was great that day though and we didn’t manage to see any Large Heaths here as they frequent the boggy areas and we hadn’t brought any boots this holiday but we got as far as we could along the right path so did give it a try. This reserve really impressed me as it is a brilliant mix of habitats; heather moorland, glorious long grass, bog and trees all set beautifully among the moors with lots of purple heather out which was so good to see again. So we took in some lovely views here again and it was just so good to be here, I took the fourth, fifth, seventh and eighth pictures in this photoset of views here today.

Funnily enough on arrival we saw one of the volunteers from the Bempton Cliffs boat trip yesterday who recognised us straight away, and in the grassland he had seen Small Pearl-bordered Fritillaries another butterfly we had heard was at this reserve. And we saw a handful of these too, orange gems of wonder that sailed through the rich green grass in a perfect image of summer. It was a joy to take in this precious butterfly and the warmth it radiates, I love their stunning mosaic of colour on their underwings which we saw so well. I took the first two pictures in this photoset of these. We saw some further up on the walk and when back here before leaving too it was quite a luxury being able to see them from the car. This was a huge moment in my year as we have seen this species the past few years at Bentley Wood at home and had tried but not succeeded for them there twice this year already. I think we’d have been too late once home and we might have missed them anyway this year and it would have been a huge miss in my butterfly year. But we’ve seen it and got it ticked for the year so it’s nice to not have to worry about not seeing it, my butterfly year list like the last holiday in Pembrokeshire in April advances nicely whilst away and it’s great to explore butterflies in a different part of the country again and compare that to home. What a week I have had for fritillaries which I’ve had a strong year for.

It was a good walk for birds too as walking on in the heat and sunshine I spotted a Whinchat then saw another or maybe the same one, hearing it’s sharp call too. It was fantastic to see this bird with a firm eyestripe and delicious plumage. An exciting moment as they are a bird I do really admire it’s so good to secure one seen for another year it was my first of the year. It’s another smashing year tick this holiday and like the Small Pearl-bordered Fritillary it’s a massive bonus for the holiday and will help me later in the year as we would have thrown weekend time at seeing them possibly specifically before their migration outwards in the autumn so whilst I’d love to see one down south too again this year it’s very helpful.

I was delighted to see a shining gem of a male Keeled Skimmer dragonfly in the bog admiring it for a while one of my favourite species I took the sixth picture in this photoset of this. After watching a train come by along the nearby railway which it was nice to see in the valley the other day and on the way in, a few more dragonflies of the species joined it. Soon after we saw a hunter of dragonflies in the air when a Hobby flew over, a nice second sighting of this one of my favourite birds this year.

There were a strong array of flowers/plants in the mix of habitat alongside the in flower heather including beautiful long heath speedwell plants one I have enjoyed learning this year, tormentil and heath bedstraw with more tormentil than I’d ever seen at once in one patch with heath bedstraw beside, lovely spotted orchid, a nice late cuckooflower probably the last I will see of any this year a star of my spring it has been an amazing year of them for me, thyme, bird’s-foot trefoil, plantain, cotton grass, daisy seen well, I seem to recall oxeye daisy, white clover and broad-leaved clover.

Wildlife Sightings Summary: My first Small Pearl-bordered Fritillary and Whinchat of the year, two of my favourite butterflies the Large Skipper and Small Tortoiseshell, one of my favourite dragonflies the Keeled Skimmer, one of my favourite moths the Five-spot Burnet, one of my favourite birds the Hobby, Stonechat seen well too, Woodpigeon, probable Curlews flying the other side of the road seen when back at the car, Small Heath, snipefly a key part of the habitat that landed on me I’ve had a good few weeks for these and a nice moth I enjoyed seeing which I took the third picture in this photoset of.

Once again we stopped off at Thornton-le-Dale to let Missy cool off in the water and enjoyed ice cream here on a lovely day after I had a lolly earlier at Danes Dyke. I also enjoyed seeing Blackbird, Mallard, willowherb possibly broad-leaved willowherb which I took the ninth picture in this photoset of, foxgloves, more daisies and oxeye daisies and views along the water, of a waterfall and the church as shown in the tenth picture in this photoset and charming and happy vibed village here. There was smashing scenery on journeys today again too as we combined the main areas we have explored this holiday coast and the moors for another amazing day and we talked to lots of great people today too. I hope you all had a nice day.

Part 1 of today’s post is here: https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/687882096244572160/23062022-blog-one-of-two-danes-dyke-and-bits