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#one more severe than the other. but again. she was RIGHT THERE.
innerfare · 24 hours
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Smutty Mihawk Headcanons
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Summary: a collection of NSFW Mihawk headcanons
Genre: pure smut (afab!reader)
CW: a little bit of knife play (cutting clothes not skin), dirty talk, low-key masochist Mihawk, exhibitionism on the down low
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Bisexual icon.
King of sexual tension.
Marine hunter? More like marine fucker. 
Is eternally bored, but has a keen interest in lingerie, and he rather likes cutting it off you. He never thought he would enjoy drawing a knife or sword during sex, but he finds the trust you put in him invigorating. 
A very passionate lover. His insistence on being the best carries over into the bedroom. As such, he’s no fan of quickies. He wants you tied up in his four poster bed, the curtains pulled back to allow moonlight to filter in from the balcony, your naked body sprawled across his silk sheets until the sun rises. 
Talks dirty but getting a moan out of this man is like pulling teeth. Also won’t tell you if you’ve pleased him. Your only indication is that he comes back for more. 
Of course, if you do want to get a moan out of him, the best way is to hurt him. Likes if you rake your nails up and down his back, yank his hair, bite him (especially the spot between his thumb and index finger after sucking his fingers), squeeze his face in your hands, maybe even slap him.
And then there's his bondage kink. If you tie him up, it better be to whip him. He'll start out goading you in that bored tone of his, accusing you of half-assing it, telling you to hit him harder. You know you've gotten to him when the comments cease and he bites his lip, his brow furrowing.
Doesn’t just fuck. He spars. 
Saying it again, cannot emphasize this enough, he loves a biter.  
Wants a partner who wants to be chased, as most people either throw themselves at his feet or run away with no hope of being caught. Will chase you down the halls of his castle and ravage you wherever he catches you. Poor Perona has a list of sofas she no longer sits on, counters she refuses to put food on, and entire staircases she avoids. There are even certain mirrors she doesn’t want to look in, even if the marks have been wiped away. Zoro doesn’t fully believe her when she gives him the rundown, thinking nobody can be that feral, particularly not his stoic teacher, who in his mind is the picture of restraint and civility, until he’s training by himself one day in the courtyard and happens to see you appear in one of the towers, only for Mihawk to appear after you and rather lewd sounds to follow. Also sees Mihawk fucking you hard in a window one time, and over a balcony another time. Zoro quickly learns not to enter the wine cellar between the hours of six and ten PM. 
Lives for dangerous sexual situations. Has fucked you in the woods at night despite the menagerie of dangerous beasts running around, has fucked you from behind in an open window several stories high, your front half hanging out, has even fucked you in his small boat on stormy, raging seas. Every duel he has ever enjoyed has been charged with sexual tension.
In addition to these trysts, he wants you in his bed every night after dinner. You either shower or bathe together, and then he works you into a sweat so you need another one.  
Worries deeply if you ever reject his advances, thinks it must be his fault. “Have I displeased you in some way? Tell me, my love, and I will make it right.” It’s times like this that any veneer of disinterest falls away and you see just how much he cares for you. 
Has certain pet names reserved for the bedroom. “My mewling kitten,” is his current favorite. 
Always does that thing where he strokes your temple with his thumb when he fucks you in missionary. It’s supposed to be a reassuring gesture when you’re struggling to take all of him, but it riles you up more than it calms you down. Uses his other hand to pull one of your legs up as far as it will go, so he’s pinning you down but comforting you about it. 
Loves to feel you up in the bath.
If he has more than one glass of wine, he will be going down on you. The more wine he has, the bigger his appetite for you. It gets worse with stronger liquor. When the Red Hair pirates come to stay and Shanks insists on breaking into the whiskey Mihawk keeps for that very occasion, you know you won’t be sleeping until they leave (and that Shanks will be going down on you, too). 
His favorite is to go down on you on his dining table. It makes you feel very exposed considering he strips you down but remains clothed (as is common with Mihawk when he's domming) and the dining room is very large with many doors that anyone could walk through. But that's what Mihawk enjoys about it.
If you go down on him, his hands will most certainly be in your hair. He loves smoothing your hair, and if it’s long, pulling it back into a makeshift ponytail to get the best possible view of your pretty face. 
Once moaned Shanks’ name in bed. Neither of you ever addressed it, but you do always flirt with Shanks when he and his crew come around because it seems to peak your lover’s interest. You haven’t proposed a threesome because you don’t want to share him with the Red-Haired drunk. 
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Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!
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stagefoureddiediaz · 3 days
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We’ve been looking at this all wrong the entire time...
So my brain is a weird place that I don’t fully understand, but sometimes it connects dots and I figure something out that has been staring us in the face the entire time! Lets just say it explains so many things - right down to the very pointed use of tommy calling Buck Evan!
This all stemmed from me looking at colour theory and costuming for Buck and Eddie (and by extension Tommy) season 7 again, because I was going to try write the buddie costume metas for episodes 9 and 10 that I never managed to get done before we started season 8 I will hopefully get to those posts, but this post - while technically about Tommy and his costumes (yes me ant Tommy person writing a post on him I know!) it does also look at the costuming for Buck and to a lesser extent Eddie more widely across the season and what the colours used actually mean - getting some distance and some time on the season has been a blessing!
Im not going to go into it in detail, but, broadly speaking the show has given each character a signature colour - this doesn’t mean they wear it all of the time - but they do wear it a lot of the time and especially in key scenes - characters can have more than one key/ signature colour, and it can change and develop over time. We can ignore season 1 because it was a pilot season and very often shows won’t choose to establish a signature colour for a character (911 s1 is all over the place from a costuming perspective - because they had several designers working across the 10 episodes but since s2 we’ve had much more continuity with Alayna Bell-Price at the helm for most of it). So for example Athena’s signature colour is mostly black with white and khaki green also in the mix. She’s moved away from that subsequently - wearing less black and more white/creams but both colours are still staples of her wardrobe.
Eddie we all know mirrors Athena from a costuming perspective - his signature colours are also black and khaki green with some white/cream as well. The khaki green was much more dominant than the black to begin with - which played into his military past -  that had evened out on the black and khaki front whilst the cream had stayed fairly steady, but now we’re also starting to see a little bit more of it as well as some darker blues. this mirrors Athenas own journey t healing - the more she heals the less Khaki we see and the more white/cream - Eddie is starting to follow the same path from a costume perspective. 
Bucks signature colour has always been blue, but he also wears a fair amount of yellow and grey, so those are his three colours. He obviously wears a lot of other colours, especially white, but white has its own specific use in Bucks costumes that sits separately from his signature colours. 
We all know about yellow/ blue and green blue colour theory - I’ve gone on about it enough (especially yellow blue colour theory and its queer coding) and others such as @lover-of-mine have as well. Well both yellow/blue and green/blue continued to play out in season 7, I’m not going to go into them in too much detail - there are posts on my pinned post that cover that much better and I want to get to the good stuff (and I know you all do too!) 
We do need to remember that Buck and Eddie very very rarely wear blue and green in scenes together - if Eddie is in green Buck won’t be in blue, and vice versa - this is because of the ties to blue/green being Buck and Eddies break up colours - the colours they wear opposite their respective girlfriends when the relationships are ending. This is a little less set for Eddie - who actually wears white/cream much more when he’s ending relationships than blue or green - but the one time he has actively done the breaking up he was in green.
As I was starting to do a bit of work on the 7x9 and 7x10 metas, I ended up going back and looking over the Buck and Eddie costumes for the season as a whole, and how Tommy fit into all of that as well - as we’ve all been billing him as Eddie lite.
While I do still think there is an element of Tommy being Eddie lite, I don’t actually think that is what the show has been doing -that concept is a bit of a red herring. I’m sorry that this is likely to get a bit convoluted and wordy - but my brain is  still reeling and incoherent so bear with me - I hope it all makes sense.
Right this post is super long so the rest is going below the cut! I hope you enjoy!
Because I was looking for Eddie and Tommy parallels in the costuming for the season, I had been looking at the choice to put Eddie in red/black for his dinner date with Kim and Buck being in green for the scene at Bucks loft, and the fact that back in 7x04 Tommy had been dressed in the same colours - a red henley which was shot with black giving it a red/black colour way. I naturally started looking at the other Eddie - Tommy costume parallels - and there are plenty - lots of the khaki green we see Eddie in - playing into Tommys own military background.
These are Tommy’s scenes - where he wasn’t in uniform of some description (which is a good chunk of his scenes to be fair) 
7x04 
at the hangar - white tee, greenish stone coloured shirt and a tan jacket with stonewash jeans
at the court - light grey marl cut off hoodie and bright blue shorts
at Bucks loft - red/black short sleeve henley and stone wash jeans
7x05
at the restaurant -dark khaki green shirt (I would also like to point out the blue green colour theory here with the addition of tommy having a blue phone case - which is relevant later I promise!)
coffee meet up - light grey henley and navy blue hoodie with mid wash jeans
7x06
karaoke club - navy blue short sleeved henley
7x10
light grey marl tee and greenish denim shirt 
So what you can see from this is that besides the use of henley’s, the only time we get actually get direct reference to Eddies costuming is through the use of khaki green and his first outfit at the hangar. There is of course the direct parallel of the red/black colour way I spoke of before, but, beyond that if you look you’ll see that Tommys outfits actually parallel Bucks far far more. I would even argue the Henley’s are more similar to Buck than Eddie - because they are short sleeved and Eddies are invariably long sleeved.
Bucks colours are blue and grey - and so are Tommy’s - particularly in scenes that are 1-1 with Buck. What I’m trying to get at and will explain is that this has never ever been about Tommy being Eddie lite - this is all about Tommy being Buck - Buck’s subconscious if you will. (I know you all this I’m completely mad at this point - but stick with me!) I have a lot to say about all of this which will explain the why of it all and how we ended up here so we’re going to go through it Tommy costume by Tommy costume!
Lets start with the hangar scene - the most Eddie like Tommy looks throughout the entire season. this is very much intentional - this is about the red herring of it all, but it is also about Eddie (I’m not discrediting anything we’ve talked about regarding Tommy being Eddie lite etc - it is all relevant - but that’s what makes it such a good red herring!) and about Buck being an unreliable narrator. This is in part why we also still see Buck in his too short trousers and his white sneakers. This is his journey (the sneakers), but he’s still trapped in his old self at this moment in time - but aware that he doesn’t fit his skin anymore (as an aside I will be writing a post about Bucks trousers and their changing fit throughout the seasons at some point soon!)
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Script wise the key lines are plentiful - the entire scene is full of double meaning. We get Buck stating that he is ‘happy where he’s at’ and Tommy’s response of ‘you’re thinking of changing things up’. viewed through the idea that Tommy is a version of Buck, this then plays out as an internal conflict - a battle about wanting what you already have - being happy with what you have, but also wanting to change things.
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Eddie saying ‘you aren’t thinking of leaving us are you’ and Bucks response ‘I’m keeping my options fluid.’ Eddie needing reassurance that what they have isn’t going to change, while Bucks reply is about him not really being sure of himself - of who he is - keeping his options open because he’s figuring out if he wants to change - the line is said to and directed at Eddie so its about Buck keeping his options open about possibly changing their dynamic - becoming something more, even in the face of Eddie not wanting things to be different.  Tommy stating in this scene that Buck doesn’t need to leave the 118 to get certified to fly - that its something he could do for fun on his days off - becomes even more loaded through the internal monologue lens - Buck considering how he can stay at the 118 and have the joy, fun and benefits of ‘flying’ when he isn’t at work - that he could fly with Eddie (Eddie going flying with Tommy to do something fun and date like is a very literal visual metaphor for Bucks internal monologue - showing him what it could be like if he changed things up). There not being three tickets - only two is also important - its again a metaphor this time about how if Buck and Eddies relationship changes - it would only change for the two of them - it would become a relationship that doesn’t have room for another in it. When I say that’s about Chris not being involved it sounds really harsh, but the reality is Chris cannot be a a part of Buddie - he cannot be a part of something romantic. it isn’t saying Chris isn’t important or central to Buck and Eddie - simply that he cannot be a factor in a romantic relationship - that has to be just between Buck and Eddie alone - its kind of about Eddie (and also to a certain extent the same is true for Buck) not being able to hide behind Chris anymore when it comes to Buck.
Fundamentally its all tied back to his death in season 6 (we even get the being struck by lightening reference from Buck just to bring that aspect home) and subsequent resurrection and rebirth  (post linked on my pinned post if anyone wants to read it!). we have to keep at the front of our minds that Buck has died and that is still playing on his mind - its still influencing who he is and who he is becoming and it was all throughout season 7 - even if it wasn’t obvious or stated.
The basketball costume is actually the one that has always stood out for me - Its the most Buck outfit of all Tommys outfits. The bright blue shorts especially. 
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So in that scene, which we know is supposed to read as being from Bucks view point, not only are we getting golden haloed super happy bouncy Eddie - Eddie the way Buck sees him -  but Buck is also projecting and seeing Tommy in the place he (Buck) has always existed in. It’s a visual representation of what Buck talked about with Maddie and Tommy replacing him in Eddies life.  Its unreliable narrator buck in visuals he’s seeing Eddie replacing him with Tommy - occupying the same places Buck has and more - from the calendar to the basketball court.
But that’s actually wonderful, because not only does it give us information on how Buck views himself (as expendable/replaceable) and how he thinks others view him - because if he thinks he’s similar to Tommy (which for a purely visual stand point he is - Lou looks more like Oliver than Ryan) but it also gives us information about the reality of how much Buck is actually intwined in Eddies (and Christophers) life - its telling us that Buck is in fact on Eddies calendar (and therefore fridge - fridge magnet theory for the win!) and how much space and conversation he occupies in the Diaz’s everyday life.
So he isn’t actually seeing Eddie in Tommy at all - he’s actually seeing the version of himself he doesn’t think he is but wants to be in Tommy. The version of himself that takes Eddie to vegas etc - that’s the Buck that Buck wants to be - the one openly flirting with Eddie and taking him on dates etc. That’s why the vegas fight is so seemingly ott (especially when you think about the fact Tommy and Eddie have known each other a week or so at most by this point) its the grand gesture Buck wishes he could be making.
All of this also makes Bucks ‘attack on Eddie’ more telling (it’s still the boy pulling the girl he likes pig tails in the playground concept) because Eddie is being receptive to all of these advances by Tommy - adding further weight to the Buck being jealous of and threatened by Tommy. 
Tommy is this version of Buck swooping in and doing all this stuff that Buck wants to be doing (subconsciously still at this point - willful ignorance be winning) but either didn’t know how to or didn’t know Eddie if would be receptive to. Remembering that this is all Bucks viewpoint of things its essentially Bucks brain showing him what dating Eddie would be like and Buck being Buck misunderstands what his brain is telling him (forever misunderstanding the assignment).
There is a second aspect to this and it ties into Tim’s comments about the hamster wheel Buck has a been stuck on and it being time he got off it - the hamster wheel is actually multifaceted and has more than one meaning. The most important is that the hamster wheel hasn’t ever been about his relationships or about the women he’s dating (or men now). The hamster wheel he’s stuck on is actually the fact that he’s built this strong relationship and family with Eddie and Chris - (you don’t find it son you make it) and its something safe and stable and predictable in his life. Getting off that hamster wheel is about being brave and moving that relationship - that family dynamic onto the next level - removing the platonic aspect of their family and making it a fully formed family for real - romantic love and all - so the ‘platonic’ family is the hamster wheel he actually needs to get off of. 
The other aspect of Tommy actually being Buck and the hamster wheel of it all is that hamster wheels are solitary pursuits - the implication is that Buck is the one standing in his own way - and coming back to the basketball game we see that played out in the moment where Buck tries to literally run through Tommy - only you can’t act out at yourself, and Tommy is a literal solid unmoving barrier and Buck won’t get past himself by just trying to bulldoze his way through.
This all then plays into the final Buck and Tommy scene of the episode - in bucks loft. I already spoke above about the red/black of it all, but now with the added concept of Tommy being A version of Buck things start to become more interesting. The red/black of it all is a warning (and the poker date red/black velvet suit and eddies red and black suit from s6 actually play into this as well!) - its dark romance - ‘forbidden’ dangerous romance or love. So for Eddie and his date with Kim that meaning is very self explanatory. The two season 6 suits are also fairly self explanatory - for Eddie again its the dangers of looking for romance that isn’t on your own terms and for Buck at the poker game its about the danger of falling in love with the person you are when you aren’t being truly yourself. Tommy being a version of Buck and this concept is a little more murky - essentially is about a similar thing to his poker suit - with a twist - its about the danger of seeing more value and loving a version of yourself that ‘used to exist’ as well as a version of yourself that you think will make you more attractive to others.
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We do also need to Talk about Bucks costume here as well - the fact that it fits him almost perfectly - he’s in well fitted if slightly loose jeans and a navy shirt that isn’t tight with buttons not clinging on for dear life (to the same extent). The colouring is still on the dark side - so its not entirely positive - much in the same way that other scenes with buck in a dark navy shirt are moments where things go a bit askew for Buck (think the  taylor ‘I kinda love you for it’ scene from s5 as an example). The implication is that - before Tommy comes along Buck is at his most content with who he is - he’s fitting into his skin better than he has in a long while but it’s not perfect. This is key, firstly because of how the scene unfolds and secondly, because of how he is then costumed from here on out for the rest of the season.
I do also want to mention the yellow blue colour coding in this scene and that is mostly done through the lighting - Buck is in blue and the light behind him is always yellow - he is surrounded by yellow light. In contrast - Tommy is barely touched by the yellow light - not until Buck starts to figure things out - then we get him briefly touched by the yellow light - the rest of the time he is lit very cooly - which is in contrast to the warmth of the loft - and further plays into the idea of Tommy being a stand in for Evan - Evan who isn't loved and accepted in the same way Buck is - Evan who Buck needs to learn to love.
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If we look at the script for this scene, it also fits in perfectly with the idea of Bucks internal monologue.  Tommy and Eddie being ‘buddie’s’ making perfect sense is a literal aside to the audience telling them that Buddie makes perfect sense - but it is more than that. This is where I have to bring up the ‘Evan’ of it all. I know a lot of us shudder with horror because of the fact Tommy only ever calls Buck ‘Evan’ and how both jarring and rude it is. How it shows how little Tommy knows Buck. We’ve always known it was being done intentionally. Well, if we view the use of Evan through the lens of Tommy being a version of Buck and things become clearer.  Because Tommy is basically the old version of Buck - the Buck who existed before he knew Eddie - before he joined the 118. And this is where the choice to bring back Tommy specifically for this role becomes a really smart one - because ‘Evan call me Buck Buckley’ was Tommys replacement at the 118. Tommy who has a problematic past that has never been dealt with on screen. This isn’t about the nature of the problematic past. This is the show playing on the idea of Buck’s software upgrades - before Buck 1.0 there was Evan, and using who Buck replaced at the 118 as a plot device to actually dig into Evan more so that Buck can deal with, accept and move on from Evan and become who Buck is meant to be.
Tommy saying he couldn’t replace Buck furthers this - because Buck cannot go back to being Evan - Evan can never replace Buck. invoking Christopher adds weight to this - because Chris never knew Evan - he’s only ever known Buck and Buck is ‘his Buck’ and irreplaceable. Tommy then stating his jealousy is about Evan feeling the lack of family that he grew up with - the recognition that as Buck he has made a family for himself - Bucks assertion that Tommy (Evan) was a part of it is valid - because without Evan Buck couldn’t build the family he has. The entirety of this conversation is about Buck choosing to ‘get to know’ his past (remember this is coming of the back of Buck crossing out the ‘LEY’ on his nameplate in s6 and his struggles with his parents acceptance in that season before the lightening strike), choosing to learn about Evan and embrace him as a part of Buck.  
Bucks assertion that he was ‘trying to get [Tommys] attention and it being exhausting’ is part of that as is the confusion Tommy expresses. The choice for Buck to use the word ‘exhausting’ - it’s Bucks subconscious trying to get his own attention - its his subconscious telling Buck that he’s exhausting himself by not listening to what his inner voice is saying. It’s of course a play on Buck being called exhausting by other people (and is perhaps why he doesn’t have the confidence to listen to that inner voice) and that also plays into the Evan of it all and how Buck views himself. Tommys confusion also plays into that - bucks own mind is confused - it was getting ready to ‘pursue’ Eddie but now we’re pivoting into what is essentially self love.
The continued bringing up of Eddie also makes sense with the contact of Tommy being alt Buck - because Eddie Eddie Eddie fills Bucks heart and mind - Both Evan and Buck recognise Eddies importance if not his full relevance in this moment. The resulting kiss then becomes less about Bucks bi awakening (I am not diminishing the importance of that in any way shape or form - its a vital aspect of Bucks journey) and more about Bucks decision to pursue loving himself - this ties into his statement ‘it wasn’t about me wanting to leave the 118 - it was about wanting to get to know you’ - its about Buck wanting to get to know himself - on the other side of his death and resurrection. It’s a continuation of his comments about Natalia ‘seeing him perhaps better than he sees himself’ - it’s about Buck starting to see himself better now he’s died and essentially been reborn and bout Buck now being in a place where he feels ready to confront that idea of being reborn and becoming someone new.
At the restaurant in 7x05 we have Tommy in an Eddie colour, but in a shirt that is much more Bucks style. There is also the green/blue colour play with Tommy stating Buck isn’t ready and Tommys ‘mismatched’ clothing bears that up - the play is on Bucks lingering confusion and uncertainty about what he wants - is it the Eddie side of things we’re pursuing the self love of Evan aspect we’re looking to explore? The entire scene is not just about Bucks first ‘date with a dude’ its also about Bucks fumbled attempts at self love - at not getting it right - its why Bucks outfit doesn’t fit him- why they’re now too big and baggy (I wrote about this in my costume meta for that episode - which like all the other costume posts can be found linked on my pinned post).  The innuendo about closets and Buck going into masculine bro mode is as much about his nervousness about being on a date with Tommy and being seen as it is about the fact that a man practicing self love is still taboo and so often met with derision - hiding that you are pursuing that is a kin to hiding queerness - at the start - until you get to a good place with it.
We side step into the Buck and Eddie loft scene briefly to look at Bucks confession to Eddie - I could write a whole thing on Eddies acceptance of Buck and its importance - but that is for a different post that isn’t already a million words long! what I want to mention in this scene is the why Buck can’t stop thinking about Tommy of it all - how it is essentially establishing the idea that Buck is starting to listen to himself.  He can’t stop thinking about Tommy because it isn’t Tommy he can’t stop thinking about it’s actually himself - Evan - in a learning to love himself and embrace who he is and was kind of way - all being done through a bi lens. it is essentially about Buck doing the thing he needs to do to be ready for a forever relationship with Eddie - which is love and accept himself - all of himself and acknowledging that to Eddie.
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Buck switches back to better fitting clothes for the coffee date - and tommy is now dressed back in Buck colours and no trace of anything resembling Eddie in sight - making it clear that Buck has chosen to pursue himself. To get himself to the place he needs and wants to be first - the line about not knowing what it is he’s ready for but being ready for something is key - its a very self love line, but it also puts a very clear time frame on things - it makes it clear that Tommy is not endgame - because Bucks choosing self love and embracing and understanding ‘Evan’ isn’t his end game but a part of his bigger journey - a part of becoming who he needs to be to achieve what he actually wants - to get him to his endgame.
Then we have the Karaoke - brief scene(s). There isn’t really a huge amount in these scenes. But I do want to point out two things - the awkwardness of Buck and Tommys hug - and how that plays into the tentative nature of Bucks self love journey - and also Eddies behaviour towards Tommy - and the way it was very very clearly a lot cooler than we saw in 7x04.
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We all jumped on the Petty Eddie train - and I agree there is an element of that. But - there is also the fact we are not seeing that scene through Bucks eyes - its through external eyes and we are therefore seeing the actual reality of Eddie and Tommys friendship - in that it isn’t this heightened date like - flirty new love type relationship - its simply two people who are loosely friends. Its remarkably normal and no threatening - only furthering the entire purpose of 7x04 being from Bucks viewpoint and Tommy being an alt Buck rather than an alt Eddie. It also therefore serves to further establish the Buddie of it all (but we all already knew that!). Tommy is still in Buck colours and the short sleeved henley is still something I would put more into the Buck costume camp than the Eddie one - especially in this season! 
The final Tommy scene and costume is the date at Bucks loft and the conversation about daddy kink. I still don’t like this scene (which has a lot more to do with execution and the script than the actual daddy kink of it all) but I am much more sanguine about it now that I understand what it is setting up.
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Bear with me here I probably won’t make sense, but with the knowledge that Tommy is actually buck lite - a less good and developed version buck (Evan and in part the version of Buck that Buck himself thinks he is) the daddy kink scene actually becomes about setting up Buck addressing his past and his actual real daddy issues - because bucks past self sees his worth in those issues and without them it means both Evan and Buck have no worth. Buck confronting and dealing with them and choosing to forgive and move on means the end of Buck and Tommy because Tommy is no longer needed - he has served his purpose and Buck would be ready to start his future - Evan stays in the past and Buck completes his rebirth and closes his lightening strike arc.
Onto Bucks season 8 journey - Bringing Gerrard in to Bucks arc rather than the others who have far more connection to Gerrard now begins to make much more sense. Tommys past under Gerrard actually echoes Bucks past - in different ways and to vastly different degrees, but the parallel is there.  S1 Buck being a play boy and sleeping around and not treating women especially well (objectifying them etc) because of his own hang ups - is a pale echo of Tommy being closeted and racist sexist and homophobic under Gerrard. Like I said before - Buck is a pale imitation to Tommy here and that’s intentional (more in a sec) because once Tommy is under the wing of Bobby when he takes over the 118 we see him begin to grow and change. Buck follows the same pattern - Bobbys guidance pulls him away from his destructive behaviours and sets him onto the right path (Bobby is arguably the birther of Buck - Look I could write a whole thing off the back of my death and resurrection of Buck post about Bobbys role as God - the heavenly father - in Bucks life and how that is the overarching theme of Bobby and the show but I don’t have the time tbh!) to ‘redemption’.
Bucks behaviour is very intentionally not as bad as Tommys behaviour, because if Tommy is the plot device meant to essentially represent Bucks subconscious and how he views himself, then the reason we haven’t been shown Tommy atoning for any of his past sins and behaviours is because Buck hasn’t forgiven himself for his own. Buck is his own worst critic and will self flagellate to a ridiculous degree - and again with him being an unreliable narrator - he views his past indiscretions as being the equivalent of Tommys - therefore in his mind he hasn’t yet done enough to deserve absolution (Buck and Bobby being father and son in this as well!). 
Which brings me to s8 and the return of Gerrard and what Bucks arc is going to be (this is slightly incoherent and not fully formed - I’m still percolating!). Gerrard being central to Bucks arc - and Bucks push back is imo going to be about Buck taking a good look at himself and recognising/ facing up to and accepting his past. And that actually does come down to the daddy issues of it all. Because if Bobby is as good as Bucks dad - and allowed him (and his subconscious in the form of Tommy) to develop and grow - then Gerrard is Phillip Buckley (obviously a heightened more terrible version of reality in the same way Tommy is a much worse version of Buck) who parented Evan through apathy and taking the easy route - we saw Evan pushing back against Phillip in Buck Begins and being rewarded for it and thus establishing Bucks self destructive and self sacrificing pattern of behaviour. Acting out and getting hurt got him attention - so Buck acting out against Gerrard is this reduced and will ultimately have the same results just in an essentially more destructive way.  This is is a good thing - because this is about Buck recognising that he is worth and acting out etc is detrimental to him progressing as a person - its going to actively prevent his self love journey to flourish (and this is why in part I maintain my belief that Tommy is going to, if not encourage Bucks behaviour, then at least tell him to go along with Gerrard demands - for an easy life and also part of why I don’t think we’ll see a huge amount of Tommy - at least to begin with - until we get to a point where Buck is really motoring on the self love journey and getting to the point where he needs to do some pre break up face to face conversations that move him forward!).  It’s about forgiving and accepting his father for how Evan was raised - Bucks arc is going to be about forgiving himself and allowing himself to be happy, and he cannot do that if he doesn’t go through the Gerrard stuff - which is essentially a type of therapy. That’s also where I think the golf comes into it - it’s a metaphor for Buck building bridges, gaining understanding and accepting his past with his father - the metaphor of the driving range being the idea of standing side by side and performing the same thing, but landing in different places. There is also the concept of improving ones self and choosing to not repeat the mistakes of the past.
It also means the thing Tim said about Buck and Tommy becoming more comfortable with one another makes much more sense, and why he’d flip the question to talk about Eddie and about Eddie feeling a bit left out in the cold but not out in the cold! Buck is becoming more comfortable with himself and while he’s doing that and learning to be happy etc as I described above. Eddie is going to feel left out - because this is about Buck not Eddie - because it’s about Buck being ready for forever with Eddie - and Eddie ultimately cannot be a part of that journey - Buck has to do it for himself in the same way that Buck cannot help or be there while Eddie goes through his reckoning with the Catholic Church, and faiths place in his life and also dealing with the ghost of Shannon and his mother issues(because he has those and they are all set up to go in s8 - Chris being in Texas really sets that up nicely!
Bahaha Tim I’ve finally figured out your question answering methods and how they tell us all we need to know!! 
All this to say - Tommy is actually alt Buck - not Eddie lite (I mean he is still also that but it’s a bit of a red herring) he is a plot device for the biggest thing about Buck as a character and it all means Buddie here we come!
Thank you so so much if you have read this epic piece of waffle - I hope you enjoyed and I truly look forward to hearing all your thoughts on this and to you being as insane about it as I am!
Tagging some people who asked (and some who didn’t but might be interested anyway!)
@spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @lover-of-mine @fruityfirehose @leothil
@bewitchedbewilderedbisexual @theladyyavilee @livingwherethesidewalkends @craigyxo
@izzysbeans @buddiediaz118 @inell @hotshotsxyz @winterskydragonx
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rottenpumpkin13 · 17 hours
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I was going to ask for baby Seph changing places with CC Seph because omg baby Seph and Dadgeal and Momesis but then I realised that means CC Seph will go back to the Nibelheim Mansion in the past and uh uh.
Anyway Dadgeal and Momesis for the win.
*Genesis and Angeal are caring for baby Sephiroth, Zack walks up to them and taps Angeal on the shoulder*
Genesis, bouncing Sephiroth on his hip: Can you believe three people have asked me if we've become parents already?
Angeal, shaking a baby bottle: We're just taking care of our friend until he turns back to normal.
*Zack taps Angeal's shoulder again*
Genesis, feeding Sephiroth: So now two men can't care for a child without being accused of being parents?
Angeal: You're feeding him too fast!
Genesis: I told you to make the formula thicker!
Angeal: Nothing I do is good enough for you!
Genesis: Don't spin this around on me!
*Sephiroth is crying*
Angeal, pulling out a toy: Oh no!
Genesis, hugging him close: He's upset!
*Genesis and Angeal start cooing and soothing him*
Zack: I have never been more jealous in my life.
(Meanwhile)
The first few minutes after Sephiroth wakes up in the past are visceral, as there’s only so much confusion and pondering before realization and fight or flight kick in. Several scientists, lab technicians and security guards were caught in the bloodshed, each blurred face no more guilty than the last in Sephiroth’s eyes.
The alarm was triggered, but by then, what could they do? He had already broken free from the caged crib he had woken up in, and one of the men they answered to had already been dealt with. Hojo’s scrutinizing face had been the first one peering back at Sephiroth through the bars, and the first to paint Masamune’s blade red.
He hadn’t seen Gast anywhere, but Sephiroth wasn’t looking for kind people or soothing words. Nothing could mollify or mend the nerves that spiraled out of control the moment he noticed the lab equipment and the assessment photos of his baby faced self staring back at him through the computer monitors around the room.
He had gone back in time, that much he knew. But the logistics of how such a thing could happen or where he would proceed from there would have to wait. Right now he was focused on escaping just as he had wished to do so many times before.
Except this time he was older, stronger, and had Masamune’s hilt in a tight grip in his left hand, a security measure as he kicked open door after door and looked for a way out. He held no memory of this mansion no matter how deeply he searched his addled mind for one. Nevertheless, he opened doors, flew down flights of stairs and ran down hallways all while the alarm blared behind him.
Sephiroth’s vision blurred in and out of focus, his heartbeat reverberating in his ear as a rush of blood prickled his hot skin. He needed to find an exit, a window or even a—
“Sephiroth?”
The slicing clink of Masamune being drawn followed by a woman’s gasp. Sephiroth kept the sword pressed at her neck, his vision sharp as he narrowed it at his target.
And then white noise all around him. Widened, slitted green meeting frightened soft brown. The yellow ribbon in her brown hair, the violet blouse, it was her. It was his mother—looking him up with the same alarm reserved for seeing one’s deepest horrors.
Sephiroth froze, the air caught in his throat, his grip on Masamune slackening. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, his mind fixated on the face staring back at him—a face he had always known, always feared, always yearned for.
"It really is you!" Lucrecia breathed, her voice filled with wonder, though her body remained stiff with disbelief. Her eyes moved over his form like she couldn’t reconcile the image in front of her with the baby she had seen only hours before. "But how—?"
Lucrecia’s expression shifted, her mouth clamping shut as her wonder dissipated into palpable urgency. Her hands came up slowly, one reaching for his sword arm while the other touched his chest—her touch set his skin on fire.
“We have to go. Now.” Her voice was urgent, cutting through the haze, but she didn’t wait for his answer, and didn't allow him to question her. Her fingers wrapped around his wrist as she tugged him forward.
Sephiroth stumbled after her, barely registering the doors they passed, the alarms still blaring behind them.
The elevator doors came into view, and she punched the button with urgency. Sephiroth still couldn’t speak, still couldn’t form the words that clawed at his throat, the tears in his eyes—why were there tears? Hadn’t he always wanted this?
The doubt was immediately shattered as the doors closed behind them. Lucrecia turned, grabbing his hand and pulling him into a protective hug, her fingers tracing his back as she held him close, gently, nurturing. “My son,” she whispered, “what have they done to you?”
And that was what did it for him. His choked cry came as a precedent to the soft sobs. He dropped Masamune, the hilt clattering to the ground and falling into the wall of the small elevator.
The contact was overwhelming, the senses in overdrive.
“It’s okay,” she whispered into his ear, as if one would speak to a child. “We’re going to be okay now. Trust me.”
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fae-morrigan · 2 days
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Someone put a post (where they admit they straight up dont know these characters lol, and also spell damian as 'damien' so like. yknow.) in the tags saying that if you're a fan of Jon & Jay, you shouldn't buy super son. Well, as the crowned CEO of Jay & Jon, I'm here to tell you guys that you absolutely should.
Super Son did the amazing thing of hitting several marks that I predicted while still managing to surprise me in how they hit them. Which is high praise for any story: A great narrative should be able to both meet reasonable audience expectations (i.e, staying in character, setup payoff) WHILE STILL throwing in curveballs that tell you something new.
There's a lot I want to analyze and get into, namely how I think the rooftop conversation between Jon & Nia is really brilliantly done in what it says about both characters, but mainly I've been thinking a lot about how great those last few pages were and how I think Sina absolutely nails how Jon & Jay's specific issues interact with each other.
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Jay's always been a blunt person. From their first meeting back in SOKE 2, hes said what he thinks, and rarely does he try and soften himself. More than that, his bluntness is often a shield from vulnerability, which Jay struggles with the whole scene. It makes total sense, after what hes experienced (re-traumatization at the hands of a friend) that he's displaying that trait again.
Jon, however, is immediately vulnerable. This is the most poignant confession of the issue: Not even in the amazing sequence of Nia helping him make a place in the darkness (look, its back, thanks isabel!) do we get this admission of fear.
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And Jay, like always, embraces him. Sidenote, LOVE how they got in the thing Jon does where he's constantly tucking his face in people's shoulders during hugs.
But the moment ends, and we get here. First of all, cold af. I could feel the aura before I turned the page.
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Second of all: Jay is totally valid in feeling this way. And it makes perfect sense that he would.
Sara was his everything. Getting her back was one of his main motivations in SOKE. Because of Nia's actions, she died horribly (do you know what happens to a person when they fall from that sort of height? I do. Its AWFUL.) for an unjust cause. Of course he's glad she can't hurt anyone else!
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And that's when we get to my FAVORITE PART! Oh how I love this bit. Because like. You understand why Jon's angry- Its a harsh thing for Jay to say! Nia was the one who kept him sane while he was trapped in his own mind! But Jay, like always, is RIGHT: Jon DOESN'T get it. How could he?
Jon Kent will NEVER, ever, be put in this position. Out of universe, his parents are Clark Kent and Lois Lane. They'll ALWAYS come back. Hell, the fact they'll always come back is something Ma LITERALLY says to Jon in SOKE. He will never, ever have to know this pain.
In universe, Jon's a white american. Despite being queer, despite being an alien, he'll never know what its like to be this kind of collateral, delegated as pawns in a greater war for 'freedom'. That is what killed Sara at the end of the day: imperialism.
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This next bit hurts my heart. Great job, guys!
For one: Jon claims he's not excusing the mistakes Nia made, but by downplaying it like this... yes he is. But did you catch that part? Right at the start of that bubble?
"I'm going to fight every day to make up for my own part in this."
That's where it clicked for me. Something I had been hoping for since Nicole first called them twin flames.
He's projecting.
Of COURSE he's defending Nia. Of COURSE he wants Jay to forgive her. It isn't just about the fact that she gave him support, it isn't just the dreams, its the fact that... well. If Jay can't forgive her... how could he EVER forgive HIM?
THIS is where the fact that Jon and Nia are so similar as character SINGS. They become mirrors to each other, evaluating their own self worth through the other, at the unintentional expense of the people they've hurt.
Jay's right, though. Again. Its almost like he's the embodiment of the truth or something. He doesn't HAVE to do anything.
When he starts crying though, I immediately was RUINED. This is the first time we have EVER seen him cry before during his entire existence of a character. And its not really even because his mom is dead (though yes, that) and its not even because of the argument. Its because Jay fundamentally wants to be understood, and he's not getting that.
Which is important for the next bit:
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I want to first backtrack a bit to Son of Kal El again, specifically, issue fourteen, right here.
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Hello, two-panel sequence that succinctly describes these two as characters. How convenient you are for me, a guy analyzing a work that isn't written prose.
Jon isn't good at letting go, for better or for worse. The things he cares about stay with him, and when something or someone tries to exit his life, he clings to them with all his might.
Jay however, both selflessly and selfishly, is willing to let go first if he thinks its better for the other person. To me this line so effortlessly summarizes who Jay is- he's a person who's accustomed to not having things, and will leave before it hurts and he gets too attached.
And that thought is ALL over this scene. Jay, who begins to let go, Jon, who both literally and physically CLINGS to jay, practically begging him to stay.
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(Sidenote. This is like, the third time Jay mentions breaking up when Jon starts acting up. Good for you king, keep that white boy on his toes, let him know he ain't all that.)
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Every little detail of this four panel sequence is killing me. "My worst nightmare is not having a home with you in it." His greatest desire. The thing that kept tipping him off in every fake reality Nia constructed for him- Jay's absence. Him wiping the tear of Jay's cheek. Jay walking away from him.
But what really gets me is how on this page, Jon talks about them as 'we', while Jay is firmly stuck in 'I.'
This is what made me LOSE MY MARBLES at three in the morning. Just utterly fucking off my rocker in a straightjacket talking to myself.
Because this is what JON wants. But is it what JAY wants?
Jon never asks.
What about what Jay fears? What about the life that HE wants? What if he doesn't want San Francisco? What if the life he wants is the life he HAD before everything went wrong? Jon outright says he wants a fresh start. But Jay, Jay's someone with such deep connections to what he just lost, what he likely WANTS to get back. His country. His mother. His sense of self. But. He says yes.
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(Sidenote. FIRST I LOVE YOU WOOOOOOOOOO) To quote my buddy Dami: Oh, the drama of needing a future with someone who can't get over the past.
It is left unclear, by the end, whether or not Jay is saying yes to this because he genuinely wants to, or if he's only saying yes because he doesn't want to lose Jon, too. Jon doesn't stop to question whether or not Jay's only reaching after him because Jon's walking away. We, the audience, are left to ponder that for ourselves.
How much of Jay saying yes is him just accepting that this is the best he's going to get? That he's never going to be understood because nobody wants to understand?
He's an afterthought to Nia, an obstacle at best, and to Jon he's a particularly handsome prop in this little fantasy he has of running away and starting new. He's either not thought of at all, or when he is thought about, it's in the context of how he can emotionally fulfill the other person And you get why Jon did this. He's desperate, he's hurting, he just got tangible evidence that the time he has with the people he loves isn't ever guaranteed. He's been needing space from Clark and Lois for MONTHS because god knows they haven't been fulfilling his emotional needs. In a very real sense, Jay is who he has.
But wanting someone to stay with you so much that you'll... Not even ignore, but just not ever consider what they may want. The intentional isolation, moving halfway across the country away from all support systems. The need to cling to someone.
It reminds me of... something. Someone.
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Don't tell Jon I made this comparison. He'll kill himself. Jon and Ultraman ARE similar. They're both such deeply lonely people who cling very tightly and even though it manifests in different ways and even though they have different core thoughts about it. The effect at the end of the day is the same, isn't it?
Is loving Jay not a brutal act of destruction?
There's so many more details about this story I love. Jon & Nia's conversation being vague enough that you have no idea how Jon meant what he told her but you KNOW how NIA took it (girl you can do better hes literally ugly!). Jon breaking a pillar by bonking his head against it (LMFAO). The pretty lies vs ugly truth dichotomy of Jay vs Nia here.
But this one scene, man. This one fucking scene takes the cake. STELLAR work all around. Every panel counts.
This better lead into a full Superman & Gossamer run or SOMETHING or I'm going to have WORDS with DC's editorial staff.
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storm-angel989 · 2 days
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how would vox and the other vees react to his teenage daughter getting piercing and tattoos without them knowing?
Hi friend,
I like to think that Vox has better control of his emotions than Val- take a peek at what I came up with!
<3 Mandy
Vox could think of at least sixteen ways to handle the situation with an instantaneous result. Killing the person who dared to put a needle to the skin of his underaged daughter for one. An all girls boarding school, set in the furthest ring of hell. At minimum, screaming and yelling with he promise of infinite grounding would at least get his anger and disappointment out in the open.
When Velette called him down to her studio, he expected to be handed a file or six. Or more likely, be bitched at for some reason beyond his control. But when Velvette greeted him with little more than a command to follow her, and led him towards her office, he knew it was something much more pressing. Outside the door, Velvette paused.
“You can’t get mad, Vox,” she told him quietly. “You can’t. We need to handle it so she comes to us again. Got it? Promise me.”
“Uh, alright. I promise?” Vox replied. 
“Good. Now take a breath and keep that promise,” Velvette said as she pushed the door open. 
Inside, his daughter sat on top of Velvette’s desk. Wrapped loosely in a cotton robe and surrounded by tissues, Vox felt his heart drop. 
“Baby? Baby, what’s wrong?” He asked as he rushed towards her. He cupped her chin and tilted her head up to face him. “Talk to Daddy.” 
To his surprise, she shook her head vehemently. 
“You need to show your Dad, so we can get you to a doctor,” Velvette said gently. “Come on, he won’t be mad. Promise.”
She looked to him and to his surprise, his usually feisty teenage daughter had an expression that begged for confirmation of her words. In the back of his mind, worry began to form. A heartbeat of silence. A sharp elbow from Velvette and he winced. 
“That’s right, Reader,” he said finally. “I promise I won’t be mad.” 
With hesitation, Vox watched as Reader slowly turned away from him as she lowered her robe. Vox bit back as gasp at the sight of red inflamed skin sprawled across her lower back. Black lines rose to form an incoherent pattern and here and there he could barely make out parts of a word. Several words, perhaps. The broken up image of a butterfly. 
He felt his temper flare and Velvette’s hand tight against his shoulder. He took a deep breath and tried his best to keep his voice steady.
“What happened?” 
“I, my friends and I were at the mall and we decided to get matching tattoos,” she mumbled in response. 
“Where? How? You’re not old enough to get a tattoo, or a piercing without parental consent,” Vox said as he carefully examined her back. 
“Some guy in the back of the mall. He did my cartilage too,” Reader muttered as she lifted up her hair to reveal swollen, black and blue skin. “It’s all…it hurts, I’m sorry Daddy.” 
Vox couldn’t believe his daughter had done something so egregiously stupid. Gingerly, she pulled the robe over her back and turned to face him. 
“Daddy? I…”
“First things first. Let’s get you down to Val’s studio and have the doctor on staff take a look. You’re probably going to need a round or two of IV antibiotics and then we can go from there.” Vox said as calmly as he could. “We can talk about the rest later. For now, let's get you taken care of.”
Vox watched as his daughter broke down into tears. Instinctually, he reached out and wrapped her in his arms. 
“I know it hurts, baby, but we’ll get you some antibiotics. And probably a pain killer and you’ll feel much better,” he said as he held her. “Shush, sweetheart. Daddy will take care of you.” 
“She’s not just crying from pain, Vox,” Velvette said softly. “She’s afraid. Of disappointing you.”
Vox swallowed and carefully kissed the top of her head. “Honey, you know I love you. That won’t ever change, I promise.” He paused, “I know you’re too old to be carried, but if it hurts too much to walk.” 
To his surprise, his teenager leaned into him. As carefully as he could, he lifted her up into his arms.
“Don’t worry baby,” he said softly. “Daddy will always love you.”
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kleinblue52 · 22 hours
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Since everyone's playing, let me add my two cents about the Agatha All Along/Teen theories.
First of all, I've read several posts mentioning that Teen said his mother is dead. Unless I missed something, I don't think that's the case. When he was talking about his mom seeing Alice's mother in concert before she died, I think he meant before LORNA died. Did I interpret that wrong?
So, if I'm right, Rebecca Kaplan might be alive and well. I do want Teen to be Billy. At the same time though, as soon as Nicholas' room appeared and we saw the lock of hair, I was immediately drawn to the Nicholas Scratch theories. I DON'T want him to be Nicholas, but it would make so much sense.
Right now the biggest mystery to me is that damn rabbit. There's a strong connection between that rabbit and Teen's identity, much stronger than the rabbit simply being named after Nicholas/Agatha's dead son. In WandaVision, Billy is very attached to the rabbit, and Teen is shown petting it as well. That might be a connection between the two. BUT, at the same time, Teen is shown next to the picture of a rabbit and he's also shown hopping around when he's bound. So those might be clues that connect Teen to the name Scratch. THEN AGAIN when we see Nicholas' room, his music award is shown next to the figurine of a rabbit. Which made me think... what if Señor Scratchy is actually Nicholas? Rio is supposedly Nicholas' mother as well and she spoke to Agatha in Spanish in more than one occasion. The rabbit being called Señor might be a nod to that. Maybe when Agatha tried to sacrifice Nicholas for some selfish reason, Rio intervened and made it so that Nicholas would only be (temporarily?) transformed into Agatha's familiar? I have a feeling that Rio is being painted as a villain because Agatha doesn't exactly remember what happened, but it's probably Rio who has a good reason to hate Agatha, and not the other way around.
SO my final theory here is that the rabbit is actually Nicholas. Agatha might find a way to remember about him and maybe save him from the spell he is under at the end of the Witches' Road and with the help of Rio. Teen is Billy, he knows that he's Wanda's son for some reason and he wants to use the Witches' Road to bring Wanda back, and he'll probably end up betraying the Coven in order to do that. He already has power and he's lying about his ultimate goal.
I would LOVE that storyline, not only because I want Teen to be Billy, but also because it would create such deep and moving parallels between Agatha, who barely remembers that she has lost a son, Rio, who is grieving that loss and maybe is manipulating Agatha to get to the end of the Witches' Road to get Nick back, Teen/Billy who is manipulating everyone to get his mom back and Wanda, who manipulated the whole Multiverse to get Billy and Tommy back. A finale in which Billy manages to bring Wanda back would be the perfect lead-in to a Jac Schaeffer Wanda movie.
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atsadi-shenanigans · 2 days
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What Shall We Become 19 - Temptation
The rogue rolls an insight check.
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On AO3.
On the morning of the third day, they depart. He’s up and moving even better than before they entered the Underdark. And if he ever so much as has to think about drinking from fish again, he really is going to vomit.
His most charitable leader still hasn’t taken any potion of tongues. So she has no idea that the kuo-toa are detailing the blood sacrifices they intend to make in her absence. He ought to tell her. Then he wonders if there’s a reason she doesn’t want to know (her continued avoidance of them all when she’s normally quite murderous towards cults in general). He decides not to.
Their finned followers hail them as they make the steep ascent out of the wretched camp. He can’t know for certain the state of their lodgings, only that they reeked of fish and algae and vaguely of mold, and he feels confident in making several deductions.
But all of that after his most glorious leader requests he secure directions. Because they’re on a lake that connects to a much, much larger one, but only through a long series of completely underwater tunnels. If her theory on the wizard’s location is accurate, that lake is their best shot at finding a waypoint stone, the others, and then fixing his godsdamned eyes.
So now he’s once again roped to an infuriating puzzle of a woman. And Astarion has no proclivities at all for puzzles. He can’t even try to needle her, as she’s still keeping her potions in reserve (which yes, alright, that’s sensible). But it means he’s bored. And he gets fidgety when he’s bored.
He goes over more Chondathan with her. It’s harder without that potion for him to explain—he’s gone over all the physical items he can touch (mostly) or point at (in the general direction of). He’s even gone over spacial directions: up, forward, right, left, and all of that. She even catches onto the subtleties that mark “right here” from “near” from “over there” remarkably easily; foreigners tend to botch that up.
Until that grows tedious as well and they fall into awful silence.
That’s another strangeness (she keeps doing that to him; she has no business just…just making him…experience things). He can somewhat bury the way his neck muscles draw tight in her poor language skills. It’s not his fault he can’t currently charm her, if she can barely understand a word out of ten (it’s less than that). There’s nothing he can do to win her at the moment. He can’t be punished for something so wildly beyond his control (that has never stopped a correction ever). All he can do is follow along after her and tap around with her staff.
That she still gave to him after all that happened and all that she now (has always) knows.
His neck hurts more. The base of his skull aches. His muscles creak from the tension with every movement. And still, she ambles on, guiding him as she’s been doing.
He wants to snap at her. Shout. Curse. Bare his fangs. Make her flinch, make her crack. Force her to drop the insufferable mask he knows she’s wearing. Make her reveal the seething resentment he knows she hides. The anger and the disgust. Despite all her baffling words, she’s angry with him. She must be. The very second he thinks himself safe, she’ll turn. That’s how it always, always works.
And as he’s thinking on this, she makes a breathy sound and the barest hint of a scent reaches his nose and it’s as if he plunged his hands into a bolt of lightning. The buzz races along his skin and shivers to his bones. The beds of his fingernails ache as his fangs suddenly hurt.
Blood. Hers. She’s not injured. He didn’t smell it before. And it’s not just the scent of her blood. There’s something else mixed into it, a change in her usual scent. He pauses so long the rope almost tugs at his waist, and he belatedly realizes he’s just been scenting the air like some animal and has to hurry along to catch up.
Which draws her attention. She says something that he guesses is a form of “are you dying” or “hurry up” or “why are you sniffing after me.”
She’s bleeding. Of that he’s certain. But if it’s not an injury…
When it finally dawns, he feels an utter oaf. Dearest leader is a human. And he knows she’s got a cunt (he felt it that night in the woods) and humans have a moon blood.
And then he realizes she has a moon blood and almost trips over his own feet.
Gods. She’s not the first he’s come across in such a condition. Living in the crush of a city means being overwhelmed by the scent and, frankly, stink of thousands of other people. Some of them bleed regularly. He’s always wondered what that would be like. What it would taste like. Dalyria, Aurelia, and Violet—as undead creatures like himself—no longer bled, and all of them were forbidden from drinking from thinking creatures. But that didn’t stop them speculating. Dal in particular had theories. As did Petras, but that man was an idiot and no one gave his ramblings much weight at all.
But never has Astarion been in such close proximity to someone on their cycle and been off the leash, so to speak.
And he cannot ask for one, little taste, because she’s angry at him, and he with her, and gods. Humans bleed for days, don’t they? He’s going to have to plod along behind her, pretending he doesn’t smell that feast. Pretending he doesn’t know that she hates him.
He wishes he’d had the fortune to have landed next to the wizard.
***
They break after what must be hours. Astarion settles himself on a boulder and nearly rips his bag open in a frantic search for a blood bottle. His hands shake, and he’s practically salivating. Delectable leader makes some inquiring sound, but he doesn’t answer as he finds said bottle, rips the cork out with his teeth, and downs it in one. Still stinks of fish. But that doesn’t matter, because it’s blood, and now it’s down his throat and he doesn’t feel the urge to scream anymore.
Not loudly, anyway.
His maddening leader says something about “water” and “far over there.” Over the sound of his own internal shrieking, he catches the heavy lapping nearby—echoing strangely and he thinks they’re in something of a small, tight valley in the rocks. He waves her off. And finds the bottle of wine.
Still taste of vinegar.
He makes sure to swish it around in his mouth before swallowing.
He can’t do this. This is a form of torture that bastard would have been proud to have come up with. Oh, he’d done very similar: taunted Astarion or his siblings with animals, with guests; hells, that woman isn’t the first one to come to the palace on her cycle. But she isn’t some victim or rodent. She’s…she’s her. And she was his first. And that’s done something to him, something magical or cursed—he’s not sure which—
…humans know when this is going to happen. Or they have an estimate, anyway. He’s neither human nor a woman, but he does know there are precursors. Symptoms. She had to know it was going to happen. In the days at the fish camp, she didn’t smell like this. It started only today, the day she decided to head out again.
They could have stayed longer. They had food and water—he had plenty of nasty blood. Shelter and safety. Yet she chose today to leave.
Is…no. No, she can’t…is she doing this on purpose? Is she tempting him? Baiting him?
He thinks back on it. When he first found her down here, she’d offered herself. She said it was to help him restore his sight—and he’d agreed to follow her afterwards leashed like a dog. Then she’d offered her wrist as he lay filleted open—offering him what he craved most at his most vulnerable. Now this. Forcing him to trail along behind her as she bleeds.
…the little minx.
Oh, she’s good. She’s done this to all of them, hasn’t she? Proposes to help some disgusting beggar for what she explains is mere practicality, but always manages to work in her favor. Has made her quite the upstanding do-gooder to those in their party prone to such nonsense. Has pulled the cleric into a silent gaze conversation. Hells, she’s even won over the gith by deliberately showing her weaknesses and letting the overgrown frog devote her attentions to improving their yokel.
It’s damned clever.
It’s godsdamned underhanded.
And she’s using it on him. That’s what’s been confusing him, muddling his thoughts and making him feel strange. She’s manipulating him. Has been the entire time. She clocked what he needed and molded herself into that.
Even her little speech about, ugh, forgiveness was simply to get him to lower his defenses.
But he’s well-fed and free for the first time in centuries. He’s not the best at planning, but Astarion is no stranger to manipulation and he’s finally seen beneath her mask. Uncovered the real heart of her.
He’s almost impressed. She nearly had him.
He snorts into his wine bottle.
Nearly. But he’s onto her now. And two can play at that game. Oh, he’s not going to confront her. Let her think she’s winning. Let her lead him around. Now that he’s identified the game, he knows how to bend the rules in his favor. She’s not bad, but he’s far more practiced, and he’ll show her how this game is played.
He polishes off the last of the wine and tosses the bottle over his shoulder. Leans back and crosses his arms. It’s going to be difficult following her around when she smells like that, but he understands, now. The confusion plaguing him finally melts away. He’s got this.
And it’s then he registers two things:
The distinct lack of footsteps returning.
An odd, choking noise.
The two other heartbeats.
“Oh shit.”
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cat-vase · 1 year
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other thing similar to the bryce stuff that i think you may be interested in!
Owen was most likely interrogated by police about Liams disappearance since he was the last one to see Liam before he vanished (BOTH TIMES not counting bryce or the cashier+waiter in ep15), which means there’s the possibility of Owen being wrongly convicted… despite the fact that there may not be much evidence against him.
(same thing goes for Parker regarding Charlotte’s disappearance since he was AT HER HOUSE and had a reason to be mad at her, leading the police to believe he possibly murdered her over the money..?)
Someone pointed out to me once that it was likely Owen who REPORTED Liam missing in the first place! How else would the police know it was LIAM'S bike instead of... literally anyone else's? He probably got cleared of suspicion since there's likely outside security footage of Liam leaving the office alone (and Owen leaving alone, too!) Assumming this because... well. Everything has cameras everywhere nowadays.
But yeah!!! I'm sure he was questioned but since Liam literally disappeared into thin air, they couldn't find anything to convict him? Or anybody else, either? Or anything to use... to figure out where he was? Hence presuming him dead!!! Which sucks for Owen, especially if he finds out about the smokestack incident somehow (and that it happened BEFORE he saw Liam???), but what can you do!
But oh my god Parker. I have so many thoughts about Parker you have no idea. Not a lot of people talk about Charlotte I feel and even then, if they do they DON'T talk about Parker and that is a CRIME.
He saw her disappear in front of his eyes! Mid sentence! There was still dinner cooking in the kitchen and jazz playing on the TV! Wouldn't that send him into some sort of anxious spiral? Or psychotic break? Wouldn't he be unsure if she ever existed or not?
And his job is a brand associate! Wouldn't that make him in the public eye, at least somewhat? If he went crazy people would SEE and KNOW. He might be arrested on suspicion of murder? Or institutionalized? Or go off the grid? Maybe he starts to pay for her place and cover up her disappearance in order to try and investigate it! Maybe he searches every single forum he can online, stringing together other random disappearances of this nature whether or not they're actually connected! Maybe he takes something of hers to convince himself that yes, she WAS real! He can't tell anyone else in his friend group about this, of course. They'll think he did something to her, and he would never. He just wanted her to be okay. Is she okay, wherever she is? He hopes she's okay. He just wants her to come back. He's not mad about the money anymore. He's sorry he yelled. Please just come back. One day she has to, right? In the same manner she disappeared? He can't get rid of her place now, what if she came back and he wasn't there?
Maybe he posts incomprehensible ramblings on a website he makes in order to make sure he doesn't lose them, but also so he can stay anonymous. He goes on outings for days searching and never turns up any leads, of course. In the beginning his friends try to interact with him; they fear for his safety, he's so JUMPY, and he has an accident and falls in one of the caves they've been to a thousand times. He just gets more closed off after that. He becomes more and more like the person he's trying to find: No, he's FINE, he can find her on his OWN, he doesn't NEED help, he's perfectly fine and sane.
And maybe, if he's not locked up somewhere or done something to hurt himself, maybe he DOES see her come back someday. She's in a worse state than she left in.
But that's a whole different can of worms.
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valewritessss · 3 months
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Headcanon that Annabeth takes a long time sometimes hours to fall asleep and wakes up very easily due to being ready for combat 24/7 and Percy falls asleep right away and has nightmares almost every night(some he doesn’t remember) so he startles awake every morning
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helpimstuckinafandom · 6 months
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JUSTICE FOR DAVINA CLAIRE I'M SO FUCKING SERIOUS FUCK OFF OH MY FUCKING GOD
#CAMI AND DAVINA GONE IN ONE EPISODE??!?!!??#YOU CAN'T BE FUCKING FOR REAL#(davina perma died an episode later both they both died in one episode right before that)#also this season has been slacking on marcel and the ep post-davina's death kicked him up several notches#he said all the shit i take issue with about the always and forever family bs#he hit that shit out of the park#also camille's death being all about comforting klaus fucking pissed me off#it was until she was scared right at the end that it was more about her#and her last words COULD have beenthe immortality line. but then they had to have her bolster klaus again instead#at least we got others mourning her after#but davina????#those bitchass ancestors forced her boyfriend to kill her then nearly shredded her soul#and she could've been resurrected. but of course fucking family came first#she had to die screaming for mercy alone as the ancestors tried to carve her soul from fucking existence#(and though i'm mad at elijah and freya for it it makes sense for them to do it#(what pissed me off was them and klaus then telling marcel that they were justified and he should just suck it up and understand)#(like no take the consequences let the man mourn)#(freya claiming family to kol too like girl i don't know you. and this 'family' loves you more than it ever loved me)#(y'all only love me on my deathbed)#(if being family means we kill each other's partners [which happens time and time again] then fuck being in this family)#like i don't actually want the mikaelsons dead. but also i hope super vampire marcel kills you all#hope kol gets away from you people because you are not family to him. you aren't.#but mostly davina. poor fucking davina#her and kol are my bonnie and enzo - finally finding someone who will choose them not just use them#only for death at the hand of allies#davina clair was an abused teenager you all used and who justifiably hated y'all#and she deserved more than to die like this. die basically three fucking times over still helping in the end#truly have not seen a witch this blatantly used and mistreated since the bonnie bennet#davina claire#the originals
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born-to-lose · 1 month
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I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself
#whenever my mom asks if i have love news of my own while we're talking about my sister's newest catch and i say no#i hope she doesn't feel pity because like. this is the life that i choose. my sister's ex boyfriends were enough for ME even#and i only met a handful of them personally but heard more than enough shit about them#i just always think i'm only flirting with some guys only to never talk to them again or ghost them because it's fun#fat girl who's always been seen as ugly by other people gets to flirt with good looking people is the ultimate ego boost arc#if i ever date anyone seriously again it better be true love and end in kids and marriage until death or i'll live as a hermit#until that happens tho...... life is a party i don't wanna miss a thing break some men's heart get revenge yolo etc etc#also the thought of actively dating freaks me out. if i meet someone and we tolerate each other long term that's good#but dating apps or going on dates with several people and deciding who's the best like on the bachelorette?? death first#plus i lowkey don't like men as a concept. at least the type i've dated. i guess you could say my last ex traumatized me hahaha 👍🏻 (🔨🔨)#i think i'm too young to be in a committed relationship anyway. or even to seek getting into one. there are much more important things rn#i know former classmates my age are having kids or getting married but idgaf the one who got engaged last year has been with him for 7 year#which is a decent time tbh you change quite a bit during that time and if it feels right why not#but i can't wrap my head around searching for a relationship when you don't even have a stable job and know what else you want in life#rambling again sorryyyy but yeah proud single here and i'm not saying this out of spite because i genuinely enjoy it#all relationships i've been in were so draining (tbf they were long distance too) and got me at rock bottom and had me filled with regret#also these men can be so controlling and jealous when you just wanna go out with friends while they do whatever they want too#but when you say you don't want a jealous partner they think that's a free pass for them to cheat like what the actual fuck#do you see the difference between being unnecessarily jealous when you hang out with friends and being rightfully jealous when they cheat??#at this point idk what to say. i'm very entertained by my friends' dating journeys but that couldn't be me#all the gossip i provide for them is which people i flirted with for the ego and who i ghosted and who ghosted me#mel talks
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arolesbianism · 5 months
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Thinks oh so hard abt the spiraling upwards clan founders, especially the birchclan founders. Silly lil kitties who's pasts are drenched in blood with the primary regret of not drawing it sooner
#rat rambles#oc posting#warriors posting#spiraling upwards#long story short they had a shitty awful terrible leader who sucked absolutely ass and they tore him to shreds#I mean that literally they pinned him onto the mountain side and slashed and mauled the shit out of him so hard that his lives evaporated#and several of the cats involved in that scene are sill alive and major parts of the story and I love them#oh also the cat that pinned him through a stab through the throat was his own daughter btw everyone hated his ass so much#and for good reason get his ass#alas in the main story I dont rly get to go too deep into how he harmed everyone involved mostly just three main ones#aka bristlestar because shes murtlepaw's ghost mom dawncrackle because hes also haunting murtle and gullspot because shes bristle's kit#so basically all the flashbacks we get involve those three in some form or another#honeystar was also there and involved but Im not currently planning on having her rly talk abt that#most of her more modern angst is the fact that she was forced into leadership against her will#and shes been alive long enough that shes been leading birchclan far longer than she ever lived in her old clan#but she did go through a lot of shit before birchclan was founded and it definitely shaped her a lot#she used to be a very determined and high spirited lil kitty cat who tried to be optimistic#but her family began to slowly be picked off one by one by both the old leader and the one whod later get evicerated#some of the older cats around her hoped it make her back down from her revelutionary ideas but she noticed that and it backfired on them#instead of being worn down to submission she became absolutely Furious and began to lash out more and become more demanding#it got to the point that she really only had two friends in the entire clan and one of them was her aunt whod later also die after coming#out abt having witnessed the leader killing his own kits#that was the final fucking straw for her and she was fully on board when bristle and dawn started looking for cats to join their rebellion#she did get rly frustrated with them as they waited patiently for the right moment but her remaining bestie kept her from going apeshit#so once the big fight finally broke out she was more than eager to join the hoard of cats chasing the bastard upwards#now unlike some of the other cats involved this legitimately actually made her feel a lot better for a while#for the first time in ages she finally felt like she could be optimistic abt smth again and was excited abt the idea of leaving this place#she had lost so much in this damn place since she was an apprentice and just wanted to finally be able to rest easy#but once they got to their new territory and set up camp things went south real fast as a flood fucked everything up#and after losing the only cat she had left in her life and losing her tail and being made deputy on top of that she deteriorated quickly
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nerdie-faerie · 11 months
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I have got to get worse at my job cus no way can keep letting them rely on me like this
#work tag#got on shift on Sunday and my manager pulled me aside when i clocked in to say thank god youre here i need you on front theyre an absolute#mess over there theyve got orders waiting nearly twenty minutes i need you to figure out whats going on and whip them into shape i know you#can just get all those order out right away just put them where you want them so you can clear that screen. and i did sort it in under 5#despite there having been 3 people on front before i got there which is more than enough people to deal with just 6 orders and yet#and today several people called in sick and one of my managers asked if i wanted some extra hours i said depends when she was like just#until ten tonight which is only an extra hour later than i finish but ive already expressed im not comfortable finishing at 9 for only a#8 hour shift cus its an hour walk back and thats far to go by myself in the dark but i agreed anyway one of my other managers then asked if#i was okay to get home if i stayed that late cus obviously there must be a reason i dont usually stay that late i was like im only walking#so it doesnt really matter but it is gonna be late to be walking back but its fine manager then comes back again and asks if i could stay#til 11 ive only done an 11 once before when they were understaffed again and she did the same but i was wary to agree to the 11 cus thats#reeeally late to be doing such a long walk by myself again other manager is like you dont have to agree to anything youre not comfortable#with then argued to the manager that ive got to walk home and i shouldnt stay however im thinking it over as i make my break and approach#the actual shift runner for this evening and suggest i stay until 12 instead cus thats when my work bestie is finishing and if we finish at#the same time i can then walk back with her instead of just doing the 10 and honestly i need the hours but i shouldnt be so relied on tbh
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reasonsforhope · 10 months
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No paywall version here.
"Two and a half years ago, when I was asked to help write the most authoritative report on climate change in the United States, I hesitated...
In the end, I said yes, but reluctantly. Frankly, I was sick of admonishing people about how bad things could get. Scientists have raised the alarm over and over again, and still the temperature rises. Extreme events like heat waves, floods and droughts are becoming more severe and frequent, exactly as we predicted they would. We were proved right. It didn’t seem to matter.
Our report, which was released on Tuesday, contains more dire warnings. There are plenty of new reasons for despair. Thanks to recent scientific advances, we can now link climate change to specific extreme weather disasters, and we have a better understanding of how the feedback loops in the climate system can make warming even worse. We can also now more confidently forecast catastrophic outcomes if global emissions continue on their current trajectory.
But to me, the most surprising new finding in the Fifth National Climate Assessment is this: There has been genuine progress, too.
I’m used to mind-boggling numbers, and there are many of them in this report. Human beings have put about 1.6 trillion tons of carbon in the atmosphere since the Industrial Revolution — more than the weight of every living thing on Earth combined. But as we wrote the report, I learned other, even more mind-boggling numbers. In the last decade, the cost of wind energy has declined by 70 percent and solar has declined 90 percent. Renewables now make up 80 percent of new electricity generation capacity. Our country’s greenhouse gas emissions are falling, even as our G.D.P. and population grow.
In the report, we were tasked with projecting future climate change. We showed what the United States would look like if the world warms by 2 degrees Celsius. It wasn’t a pretty picture: more heat waves, more uncomfortably hot nights, more downpours, more droughts. If greenhouse emissions continue to rise, we could reach that point in the next couple of decades. If they fall a little, maybe we can stave it off until the middle of the century. But our findings also offered a glimmer of hope: If emissions fall dramatically, as the report suggested they could, we may never reach 2 degrees Celsius at all.
For the first time in my career, I felt something strange: optimism.
And that simple realization was enough to convince me that releasing yet another climate report was worthwhile.
Something has changed in the United States, and not just the climate. State, local and tribal governments all around the country have begun to take action. Some politicians now actually campaign on climate change, instead of ignoring or lying about it. Congress passed federal climate legislation — something I’d long regarded as impossible — in 2022 as we turned in the first draft.
[Note: She's talking about the Inflation Reduction Act and the Infrastructure Act, which despite the names were the two biggest climate packages passed in US history. And their passage in mid 2022 was a big turning point: that's when, for the first time in decades, a lot of scientists started looking at the numbers - esp the ones that would come from the IRA's funding - and said "Wait, holy shit, we have an actual chance."]
And while the report stresses the urgency of limiting warming to prevent terrible risks, it has a new message, too: We can do this. We now know how to make the dramatic emissions cuts we’d need to limit warming, and it’s very possible to do this in a way that’s sustainable, healthy and fair.
The conversation has moved on, and the role of scientists has changed. We’re not just warning of danger anymore. We’re showing the way to safety.
I was wrong about those previous reports: They did matter, after all. While climate scientists were warning the world of disaster, a small army of scientists, engineers, policymakers and others were getting to work. These first responders have helped move us toward our climate goals. Our warnings did their job.
To limit global warming, we need many more people to get on board... We need to reach those who haven’t yet been moved by our warnings. I’m not talking about the fossil fuel industry here; nor do I particularly care about winning over the small but noisy group of committed climate deniers. But I believe we can reach the many people whose eyes glaze over when they hear yet another dire warning or see another report like the one we just published.
The reason is that now, we have a better story to tell. The evidence is clear: Responding to climate change will not only create a better world for our children and grandchildren, but it will also make the world better for us right now.
Eliminating the sources of greenhouse gas emissions will make our air and water cleaner, our economy stronger and our quality of life better. It could save hundreds of thousands or even millions of lives across the country through air quality benefits alone. Using land more wisely can both limit climate change and protect biodiversity. Climate change most strongly affects communities that get a raw deal in our society: people with low incomes, people of color, children and the elderly. And climate action can be an opportunity to redress legacies of racism, neglect and injustice.
I could still tell you scary stories about a future ravaged by climate change, and they’d be true, at least on the trajectory we’re currently on. But it’s also true that we have a once-in-human-history chance not only to prevent the worst effects but also to make the world better right now. It would be a shame to squander this opportunity. So I don’t just want to talk about the problems anymore. I want to talk about the solutions. Consider this your last warning from me."
-via New York Times. Opinion essay by leading climate scientist Kate Marvel. November 18, 2023.
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WIBTA for sabotaging my boyfriend's hookup with his girlfriend by filling his sex playlist with DJ Crazytimes
I (28NB, they/he) have known my boyfriend (call him C, 29M, he/him) for some 15ish years now. As long as I've known him, he has been on and off again with his girlfriend (call him T, 29NB, he/him). Respectfully, and with love, C and T are two of the worst and most annoying people I know. I want to marry them both specifically so that I can study them under a microscope like a parasitic virus.
Technically they're monogamous, but they're both hooking up with other people (myself included), usually the same people, because they have the same taste in lovers (bad). I have suggested that they give actual polyamory a try, and they reject the idea wholeheartedly. I think they get off on their dynamic, and far be it from me to try more than the bare minimum to dissuade them from it.
A couple months back, they got into a fight and broke up (again) because T (who was unemployed at the time) stole $50 from C (who works at GameStop) so that he could pay for a tank of gas (using C's car) to go hook up with another guy a couple states over. C was not upset that T was hooking up with another guy (because he was Also hooking up with that guy and knew he would not have a leg to stand on), but because of the stolen money + car.
C and I currently live together, because you can't afford an apartment on a GameStop salary, and also, like I said, he's my boyfriend. I'm making carnitas tacos next Friday, and T is coming over, because despite everything, he has nothing else to do on a Friday night. I know that C and T are going to get into a huge fight, and I know that it's probably either going to end with them getting back together out of spite or with someone's vehicle getting keyed--I'm betting on both.
Here's where I think I might be the asshole. I would really like to get inbetween them. Not in a "I don't want you to date each other" kind of way, but in a "holy shit you are both so insufferable i would like to get in on that" kind of way. I currently have my thing with C, and I've hooked up with T once in the past, but I would really like to make it official with him as well.
My plan is as follows: C and T are going to be in the same space again next Friday. They're going to fight, then hook up, then get back together again. C is one of those cybersexual "i built my own computer and run it on Linux" people, which is to say, he thinks tiktok and youtube are evil, and he he thinks spotify premium is supporting megacorporations. So, his sex playlist for T (we do not have our own sex playlist) is just an actual folder of mp3 files.
While C is at work, I'm going to log into his computer and change several of those mp3 files to DJ Crazytimes' Planet of the Bass, which I play often, and he is frequently annoyed by. My hope is that he'll realize it was me, he'll come and yell at me for ruining their hookup, T will take my side to piss him off, and the tension will get to the point where they let me join their hookup, and I can ask to date both of them after that.
To be clear, I recognize that I'm also Incredibly Toxic for enabling and encouraging this behavior. That said, I feel like I'm justified in this scenario considering C and T are both Also toxic, and furthermore, it is a known fact that I'm dating C right now, so for them to hook up, C would technically be cheating on me. I asked C's sister (a childhood friend of mine) for her take on whether it would be funny or just annoying, and she just told me that we all deserve each other, so I think I should be good. Am I being uniquely shitty here?
What are these acronyms?
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hedgehog-moss · 2 months
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Last spring my neighbour asked if I could let Pirlouit mow the grass around his barn from time to time, which Pirou was happy to do at first but if I left him there several days in a row he got pretty sad about being alone (lots of wistful, melancholy braying). So this year when my donkey was hired for this job again, I went for a different formula: for the past few weeks I've been bringing all the animals to the neighbour's barn for an hour of landscaping services now and then at apéritif time.
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The fence is extremely not Pampe-proof so I have to have my apéritif while sitting on the road in a strategic position from which I can toss a stick in her direction if she tries to escape, but other than that I've been really enjoying this peaceful evening ritual, just sitting there reading and watching the animals while feeling like I'm doing my neighbour a favour. Pirlouit doesn't get all the grass to himself anymore but I've learnt that he prefers to be rich in friends than in food.
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You'll notice that Merricat is present in every photo, looking alert. She too has been hired, but for the thankless job of Thought Police. She may look like she's just napping on the warm asphalt with not a care in the world...
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... but she is working! Keeping an eye on the llamas, always.
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I've discovered that in a specific context my three cats can act as precogs and warn me of Pampe's future crimes. My theory is that they developed this skill because of Poldine, who loves cats. Any cat who enters the pasture will soon be noticed and (lovingly) chased by Poldine, who wants kisses. Cats not only do not want llama kisses, they don't differentiate between individual llamas. They are all potential kissers. So even if it looks like she's all relaxed, Merricat is constantly monitoring where the llamas are and what they seem to be planning. If we are on the other side of a fence and Pampe approaches it a bit too slyly, Merricat will jump to her feet, ready to flee (and I will toss one of my anti-Pampe sticks, and say NON.)
Merricat and I are a very good team! We've foiled several of Pampe's plots, but we need to be on the road for Merricat to remain wary (if we were in the pen Pampe's escape attempts would involve getting away from us and the cat wouldn't care.) Cars are rare so it's okay (plus it's so quiet you can always hear them coming), and on the few occasions when someone showed up and asked why I was having apéritif on the road, I pointed at Pampe and they were like, "Ah! Didn't see her here. Good luck!"
"Hedgehog-moss, you're exaggerating. Pampe can't be that—"
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She is! She is. And she always seems to notice when Merricat is on a bathroom break and I'm absorbed in a book.
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There was one evening though, when she got distracted by a fascinating new idea. I don't claim to know what's going on in this llama's head (except when she's looking at a fence, then it's easy) but as you can see, once I brought the animals to the barn Poldine started eating flowers, Pirlouit started eating grass, and Pampe started eating the wall.
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After a moment she slowly circled the barn, then stopped and lay down right next to it, settling down in a comfortable position but with focused ears and her head still turned towards the wall. It was suspicious behaviour, but on the other hand she now looked so uninterested in the road that I decided to take a risk and run home to bring back some dinner—and she didn't move while I was away! I even brought Pandolf, who is usually banned from these soirées because he would disturb my Merricat alarm system. He was happy to be finally included.
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It's unclear if Pampe was eating the wall, talking to the wall, or carefully examining various parts of the wall as Step 1 of 27 of a complex plan only she understands, but she stuck close to the barn all evening instead of lying in wait by the fence so I was able to have a picnic in the grass rather than on the road, which felt more bucolic. I know that "Pampérigouste has a new, mysterious project" is a worrying sentence but at this early stage (feasibility study) it felt to me and Merricat like a little holiday!
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