#one of my former english professors was showing it in her class and making everyone watch it

[eternal-night-owl]

Sometimes you wake up from a dream and think "huh, that was weird lol," and other times you wake up and think What The Actual Fuck is Wrong With Me

[oh-hush-its-perfect]

Alex Fierro's Introduction Full Breakdown

Okokok so. This is going to go full English-professor mode, where I'm drawing conclusions that are gonna seem a little far-fetched. That's what's fun about media analysis! I can say something is a symbol, and even if I don't have enough faith in RR's competency to know if he meant for it to be a symbol, it's still true! That being said, a lot of these choices I'm sure are intentional, either at a literal or subliminal level. Page numbers are going to be used not to assert a kind of authority or whatever— this is a Tumblr post, not an essay— but to help readers find the pages I'm referencing in case they'd like to do some digging of their own. Also, this is going to be really long. Really sorry to anyone with ADHD; I might make an audiofile of this so you can get the information without having to read the whole thing. With all that, let's get into it!

To kick off, let's talk about Alex being in the form of a cheetah when she first meets Magnus. Of course, there's the obvious impact of him seeing her but only so breifly, as well as introducing the conflict between her and the rest of Hall 19. But that could have easily been accomplished by almost any animal. The choice of a cheetah being implicated implies two qualities of Alex that will be recurrent throughout the two books she's in: 1. She has a tendency to run away, as we'll later learn when she describes how she became homeless, and 2. To Magnus, she's elusive. She can't be caught or held down. The event that shows this so transparently is how Alex refuses to define their relationship at the end of the series, despite it clearly surpassing the normal bounds of friendship.

But the cheetah isn't the animal Alex is in the form of when Magnus first gets a good look at her; she's a weasel. Weasel's bring up all kinds of connotations: ferocity, slickness, a lack of charm. When we want to describe someone as an untrustworthy person, we call them a weasel. RR had Alex take this form to play up her comrades' feeling of distrust towards her. She could be a double-crosser. But paradoxically, the up-front and vicious mannerisms of a weasel also have a transperency. She does not try appealing to her Hallmate's sense of goodwill because she doesn't have anything to gain from it. So even though there is the implication that she might be an antagonist, there's also evidence from her actions and mannerisms that she isn't. The weasel's long and skinny frame also allow for a smooth transition into Alex's actual body, which is convenient.

As Alex transforms into her usual human form, Magnus describes her as "a regular human teen, long and lanky, with a swirl of dyed green hair, black at the roots, like a plug of weeds pulled out of a lawn" (pg. 50). That simile at the end is of particular interest. Let's compare it to another time Magnus describes Alex's hair, in Ship of the Dead: "Her hair had started to grow out, the black roots making her look even more imposing, like a lion with a healthy mane" (pg. 136). By contrasting these two different examples, we can see the development of Magnus and Alex's relationship. The first time he sees her, he thinks of her hair as something nasty— note the word choice "weeds." Later on, though, he becomes more affectionate towards her, more complentary. The immedient negative reaction is less his actual impression, though, and more the reaction he expected to have based on everyone else's reaction to Alex.

Her clothes are equally as interesting; as Magnus describes it, Alex wears "battered rose high-tops, skinny lime green corduroy pants, a pink-and-green argyle sweater-vest over a white tee, and another pink cashmere sweather wrapped around the waist like a kilt" (pg. 50). Aside from the obvious fact that this outfit is a) bizzare, b) fire, and c) Alex's signature colors, which add a layer of style to what can otherwise be a somewhat boring series fashion-wise (excuse me, Blitz), the outfit reveals a crucial facet of Alex's backstory in a kind of subtle way. These are expensive clothes, like the Stella McCartney dress in Alex's room. Note the mention of fabrics (corduroy, cashmere) and patterns (argyle). These indicate wealth and status. Even the high-tops; shoes like that don't come cheap. But I'd like to return to the very first word of the section: "battered." Alex's wardrobe show-cases a proximity to wealth, but also shows that that proximity has been strained and lengthened, maybe for an extended period of time. Alex dresses like a rich person, but she isn't one. Least, not anymore.

The last word of that outfit-introduction is also of interest: "kilt." At the current moment, Magnus thinks that Alex is male. No one has indicated otherwise to him. Everyone has been referring to Alex with he/him pronouns. Samirah called Alex her "brother" (pg. 29). His first thought in seeing what he at first perceives as a guy with a jacket wrapped around the waist is That looks like a kilt. This thought tells us about Magnus: despite being open and accepting, he still has some lingering notions of gender conformity from his years in wider American society.

Magnus also indicates that the outfit "reminded me of a jester's motley, or the coloration of a venomous animal warning the whole world" (pg. 50). This is rather self-explanatory, but it's still worth noting that Magnus sees the outfit as something bizzare, strange, and even perhaps comical. This places Alex at odds with the other people Magnus has met. It also reveals that Magnus has zero fashion sense. But we already knew that.

After finishing up staring at the ensemble, Magnus finally gets around to actually looking Alex in the face. First Magnus says that he "forgot how to breathe" (pg. 50), which, yeah, relatable. This is justifed by saying that Alex has the same face as Loki, but the very same sentence that asserts that that's the case also suggests an alternative reason: Alex has "the same unearthly beauty" as her father. Here we can see the beginnings of Magnus's attraction to Alex, though at this point, he still has a lot of internalized homophobia. Though there's certainly some truth in that Magnus was unnerved by Alex's resemblance to Loki, the idea that Magnus pointed out that Alex was pretty without elaborating on that thought until about a chapter later— after he was informed that Alex was presently a girl— can tell us a lot about how Magnus perceives sex and beauty.

Of course, Alex's eyes are given special attention. She has cool eyes; what can I say? But I'd like to focus in on how Magnus here depicts Alex's heterochromia as "completely unnerving" (pg. 50). Again, let's contrast this with how he describes them after getting to know Alex a little better in Ship of the Dead. In Chapter 3, Magnus describes "[Alex's] dark brown eye and his amber eye like mismatched moons cresting the horizon" (pg. 25). Once again, this shows the development of their relationship— but this time, it's in a much more personal way. Eyes are the windows to the soul; they are culturally important and biologically important in inter-personal connections. In you look into someone's eyes, you're giving them your full attention, and you're implying a kind of closeness. The way that Magnus describes Alex's eyes in the second passage is downright intimate. At this point, he is in love with Alex, and it is clear when contrasting the two descriptions.

As my last point, I'd like to discuss Alex's first words on page: "'Point that rifle somewhere else, or I will wrap it around your neck like a bow tie'" (pg. 51). First of all, Alex saying this with a "perfect white smile" (pg. 51) on his face implies that she is used to being threatened. She is not afraid of being shot; she counters the promise of an attack with a promise of her own. This pleads the question: why is Alex accustomed to violence? What events of her past or qualities of her life have brought her to this point? The threat itself reveals Alex's trauma from being genderfluid in a society with rigid gender norms, as well as her antagonistic relationship with her father. Magnus makes a comment that Alex "might actually know how to tie a bow tie, which was kind scary arcane knowledge" (pg. 51). Like Alex's wardrobe, the idea that she may have experience in high-class fashion also implies her former status as a rich kid.

I could go on. I could break apart Alex saying "'Pleased to meet you all, I guess'" (pg. 51). There is a wealth of information in this short page span that tells us things about Alex Fierro in the present moment, quietly demonstrates things about her past, and characterizes the narrator Magnus Chase. This passage is also effective in hindsight in marking the progress of Magnus and Alex's relationship.

But I'd like to take a step back and look at not the pieces, but the whole picture. Alex Fierro gets a full page of pure description— her outfit, her face— and about a chapter of introduction. This comes after several chapters of build-up. Alex Fierro is an important character you need to keep your eyes on. Alex Fierro is emotionally significant to the main character, Magnus Chase. Alex Fierro is one of the most developed and well-rounded characters that Rick Riordan has ever written— heck, she's one of the best characters in middle-grade books period. The extended emphasis on her and her alone tells us exactly what role she's going to play in this story: she's the star.

[sapphirelass]

Deal? - Remus LupinxDaughter!Reader

Hi! :)

Deal? (Part 1) | Oh, darling... (Part 2) | I’ll be by your side (Part 3) 

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Please note:

1: I don’t own any of the gifs used, nor any already established characters, so credit to the authors and original creators - You have done a phenomenal job :)

2: English is not my native language, as I was born and raised in Sweden. I have, however, studied English for almost a decade, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem, I just thought I’d let you know ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You probably already knew this, but still XD

(Y/N) - Your name

(Y/N/N) - Your nickname

(Y/H/L) - Your hair length

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I swear, my next story won’t be about Umbridge XD

Word count: ≈ 2300

Warnings: Umbridge, angst, slight swearing

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I do not wish to criticise the ways of the school, however you have been exposed to some rather irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed - not to mention” the toadlike professor threw a dark glance at a sandy haired student and smirked evilly, “extremely dangerous half breeds”.

The student in question raised her hand angrily, and glared at Professor Umbridge. “Yes?” the teacher smiled sweetly, “miss… Lupin, am I correct?”

“Yes, (Y/N)!” she began, “but that’s besides the point. Look, I know what you’re doing, but Professor Lupin was the best DADA teacher we’ve ever had, and I’d be more than happy to bet everything I own on that being quite a common opinion in this classroom!”

Most of her fellow classmates nodded furiously, and the young girl turned her head towards her professor, who immediately cleared her throat and declared: “Well, I’m afraid simply being a beloved teacher doesn’t really matter, dear.  Werewolves are still extremely dangerous creatures. They are beasts that are undeserving of respect and that should not be allowed to be part of our fine wizard community. They are uncontrollable, and highly likely to injure or possibly kill young witches and wizards, including their own children.”

She flashed a cruel, yet pleased, smirk as (Y/N) furiously stood up, despite Hermione desperately trying to force her down.

“You have NO IDEA what you’re talking about!?” she whispered angrily, her nails digging into her palms as her fists clenched. “You have probably never even met one of these so called ‘half breeds’, have you? No, you were most likely just told some bizarre stories containing more lies and made up facts than truths, and decided to put that worthless ‘knowledge’ - if you can even call it that - to use by spreading rumors and destroying the lives of innocent people.”

Umbridge looked frantic, and was about to speak up, but (Y/N) got there first. “I despise people who look down on others. People who claim to be better than everyone else. People like you. You certainly don’t deserve respect!”

She took a deep breath, and was about to continue when Umbridge’s shrill voice forced her to stay quiet. “That’s quite enough! Detention, miss Lupin. The rest of the week, five fifteen, don’t be late”.

***

A few hours later, (Y/N) made her way back to Umbridge’s office. She knew her friends had wanted to talk to her, but she had done her absolute best to avoid them all afternoon. She simply didn’t feel like explaining to them why she had done what she did. She’d gladly do it again though. Her father was the kindest, wisest, most incredible person she had ever met. He had done everything in his power to give her a good childhood, and no one had the right to insult him. She’d defend him to her last breath if that’s what it would come down to.

She knocked on the door carefully, and pushed it open when she heard a shrill, terrifying voice sing a sweet “come in”.

“Oh, miss Lupin, almost late I see!” she said arrogantly. (Y/N) didn’t have time to answer before her teacher continued. “Sit down.”

***

The detentions went on for another four days before Umbridge told her she didn’t have to come back the following evening, but that she better hold her tongue unless she longed for more. (Y/N) tried to keep that in mind, but still lost her cool a few more times before the end of the semester. However, the Christmas holidays were approaching, and though her red, swollen hand caused her to worry slightly, the idea of seeing her dad and godfather caused her enough joy to tip her mood over to “mainly happy”.

She stepped off the train with her friends, and immediately spotted her father on the platform.

“Dad!!” she shouted, and threw her scratched arms around his constantly scarred torso. “Merlin, I’ve missed you so much”. She buried her head in his shoulder, simply enjoying the feeling of love and safety that he somehow instantly gave off.

“Hello, darling!” he said gently, returning the bone-crushing hug. “I missed you too, believe me…”

(Y/N) wanted to stay like that forever, but eventually let go as she intended to at least try to keep her… problems… hidden. She had never really been able to keep secrets from her dad, and therefore didn’t want to do anything he would consider “out of the ordinary”. If she did, he’d figure it out, or persuade her to tell him everything within minutes, and she knew he’d feel guilty if he realized what she had done for him. She understood perfectly well that the scars on her hand were deep enough to be visible for the rest of her life, and that nothing she would say could convince Remus Lupin that it was not his fault. She was left with one option: He could not, under any circumstances, know. Ever.

They carried her trunk together, and walked a few feet behind the rest of the gang.

“So?”, her father inquired, “How are things? You all doing okay?”

“I suppose”, she answered, “Our new DADA teacher is quite a daft prick though.”

“(Y/N/N)!”, he muttered sternly, casually trying to hide a smile, “Are you sure that’s the right word? Sounds rather rough, doesn’t it?”

The witch shrugged. “No, I think it fits rather nicely. It’s almost as if she’s trying her very best to prevent us from learning anything helpful…”

“That’s… well, that doesn’t sound very promising, does it?”

“No, hence the slightly offensive description… But enough about her, how are you? Had any company while I was gone?”

The older wizard smiled, easily noticing the tone of his daughter’s voice switch into a far more joyful, energetic one - One he knew and loved!

“Oh yes, I’ve spent quite a bit of time at headquarters, and Sirius essentially isn’t allowed anywhere else, so we’ve done a lot of catching up. There is, believe it or not, a lot to talk about after 12 years without seeing each other, so it’s been very nice.” He turned to her, smiled even broader and added a quick “But I’ve still missed you.”, before quickening his pace to catch up with the others.

***

Later that night, (Y/N), Remus, Harry and Sirius were sat in the living room of number 12 Grimmauld Place. Harry and Sirius were playing catch with an old snitch they had found in the house, lazily throwing it back and forth. (Y/N) lay on a sofa, a thick leather bound book tightly clutched in her hands and her head resting on her fathers lap. He was deeply invested in A Guide to Medieval Sorcery, and father and daughter were simply enjoying a nice, calm evening.

All of a sudden, Sirius grabbed the snitch, sat up straight and reached out towards his godson.

“Harry, what’s that on your hand?”

The dark haired boy pulled the sleeves of his jumper further down and mumbled a quiet “nothing”.

“Sure, let me see then”

“No, it’s fine, don’t worry abo…”

Harry didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence, as Sirius had risen from his seat and forcefully grabbed his left hand. The slightly faded “I must not tell lies” was still readable, and Harry winced as the look on his godfather’s face went from composed to furious in a matter of seconds.

“Who?”

“Sirius, I…”

“WHO?!”

By this time, both Remus and (Y/N) had put their books down, and were carefully observing the “argument”.

“It’s our new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Umbridge. She’s quite generous when it comes to giving detentions. But mine’s really not that bad now. It barely hurts anymore…”

“That’s totally barbaric!? Moony, we have to…”

“Harry”, Remus interrupted his old friend with a worried look on his face, “What do you mean by ‘quite generous’?”

His heart practically skipped a beat when he felt his daughter shift uncomfortably, however it was Harry who answered.

“‘m quite sure half the Gryffindors have been to her office at least once by now. Even when you’re not really doing anything wrong, she’ll make up a ‘reasonable’ excuse…”

As Harry spoke, (Y/N) had unconsciously been pulling the sleeves of her jumper closer to her fingertips. Remus obviously noticed and made eye contact with Harry, nodding discreetly towards his daughter as if to ask if she too had… well… yeah? Harry closed his eyes, knowing full well how his friend wanted to hide her scars from her dad. It had taken hours of convincing before she had even let him, Ron and Hermione see, and he understood why she didn’t want Lupin to know. He did, however, not like the idea of lying to his former professor, and nodded slightly.

Remus closed his eyes looking simultaneously sad and angered, sat up straight and muttered “(Y/N/N)?”

The young witch took a deep breath and was about to move away from her dad, but he was faster and quickly grabbed her hand. He was very gentle, but she flinched anyways, as her last detention had taken place only a week prior.

“(Y/N/N)”, he repeated, “show me”

“Dad”, she mumbled quietly, “‘tis fine, don’t worry”

“(Y/N)!” His voice sounded far sterner now, “I’m serious. C’mere”

“No, I don’t want…”

“It’s not a question of whether or not you want to, Love”, Sirius explained before his friend could think of a response. “Show your dad.”

“But…”

“(Y/N/N)”, Harry mumbled, “Just… just do it”

“No! I can handle it! Stop making it sound like I’m too weak to do so!”

She felt a tear escape her eye, and stood up to leave the room when Remus waved his wand and locked the door.

Taking yet another deep breath, his daughter turned around, made her way across the room, pulled her left sleeve up and slammed her scarred hand down on the table for the other three to see.

“There! You happy now?!”

A flood of tears were streaming down her face, as her dad, godfather and best friend leant closer and read seven deep-red, awful, heart wrenching words:

***

I must not defend filthy half breeds

***

Remus put his head in his hands and stood up, while Sirius moved closer to his goddaughter and pulled her into a tight hug. Harry joined the embrace and comfortingly rubbed her back.

“why? Why (Y/N/N)?”, her father whispered quietly, his voice barely audible.

“I… I couldn’t…She… sorry…”

The usually calm, collected girl was completely lost for words. Shaking. She had no clue what to say, all she knew was that she had to let her dad know that she was sorry. Sorry for making him feel guilty. Sorry for causing him so much pain. Sorry for not being strong enough.

She walked over to him and noticed heavy, wet tears on his face too. Carefully she wrapped her arms around him, and together they sank down onto the cold floor. They sat there for what felt like hours before Remus finally spoke up, repeating his previous question.

“Why, darling?”

She met his sad gaze and collected her thoughts before quietly whispering “She keeps saying horrible things - pure lies - and she’s enjoying it. She’s throwing insults my way every chance she gets. If I don’t stand up and fight, everyone will think she’s right, and she’s not. Nothing will ever change unless someone works for it, and as soon as that someone backs down, they’ve lost. I’m not having that.”

He looks back at her, his eyes full of pride. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“You mean besides being the most phenomenal dad imaginable?”

He chuckled softly, ruffled her (Y/H/L) hair and held his hand out. (Y/N) slowly placed her hand on her father’s and shifted her gaze towards the floor as he examined the neatly written letters. With a worried expression on his face, he grabbed his wand and moved it back and forth over the scars while quietly muttering a few carefully chosen words. The pain immediately became more endurable, and after putting his wand away the older wizard grabbed his daughter’s shoulders gently, and looked at her in a sad, yet determined way.

“(Y/N/N), as honourable as your intentions are, please don’t do this for me. I’m not going to tell you to back down, but if you’re going to keep it up, don’t let it…” He paused, trying to find the right words. “I can’t stand the thought of you getting injured because of me. I’m not wo…”

“Yes, you are! Stop saying that! I’ll be a bit more selective, if that’s what you want, but don’t you dare tell me not to fight for you. You are my dad, my only family, and there is not a single person on this planet less deserving of disrespect, insults and hate. Dad, you’re amazing, and I’m not letting her fool people into thinking you’re not.”

After a moment of silence, a quiet, “I still don’t like it…”, escaped his lips.

“I know.” She sighed, “That’s why I originally didn’t plan on telling you.”

(Y/N) was fiddling with her fingers, not quite meeting her fathers warm gaze, when she suddenly sat up and said, “Let’s make a deal? I promise to choose my fights more wisely, and in return, you won’t blame yourself for the consequences of said choices? Sounds fair, doesn’t it?”

Her father sighed, but reluctantly answered, “Fine, as long as you promise me one more thing.”

“Hmm?”

“You won’t hide scars or pain from me ever again, no matter whether it’s physical or mental, okay? You’ll let me know, and let me help, always!”

She held her right hand out, her dad shook it and they shared a smile. This time, a true, pure one that actually reached their identically green eyes.

“Deal!”

~ L

Part 2 Oh, darling...

Masterlist

[shutteredislands]

REYLO MODERN AU FIC RECS

Hi!! I spent my entire winter break reading reylo fics and I feel like I’ve found some gems! I’m boring and don’t like angst, so most of these are pretty fluffy, however, always read the tags before reading. Anyways, happy reading!

Already Home -  College, Roommates, A/B/O, Soulmates AU - Complete - Rated E - 79k

“Oh stop being all Alpha-y.” She flexes her foot, rolling her ankle as if to prove a point, and he doesn’t miss the wince that crosses her expression. “You aren’t my Alpha, and you definitely aren't my soulmate,” she mutters.

He can’t help but let out a dry laugh. “Thank god for small mercies.”

Okay so this is a trope fest but it was so good! I’m not gonna explain the plot in depth because I think going in blind is best for this!

Baby, It's Just Biology - Professor/Student, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 113k

For Rey Jackson, trying to finish your degree in Biomedical Science at Harvard is difficult enough when you're one of the few Omegas on campus.

It's made even more difficult when your Professor is the one to trigger your heat. You can't help it, it's just your biology.

An Alpha Omega love story.

This is the perfect balance of angst, fluff and pure smut. This one Is a lot angstier than anything else on this list, but you can see every stage of this relationship and I loved it so much! Please read the tags on this one!

I’ve got you (under my skin) - Nanny/Single Parent AU - On Hiatus - Rated E - 81k

“Hi, I’m Rey. I’m here for the—”

“Nanny,” Ben blurts out dazedly, still trying to remember how to form coherent thoughts. “You’re the nanny.”

Her smile hitches up a little wider. “Well, I might be.”

Suddenly, Ben thinks he might be in for a whole new world of problems.

Because Rey Johnson is still most likely the only thing standing between him and disaster, that much hasn’t changed, not by a long shot.

And Ben can’t seem to stop staring at her mouth.

In which Ben hires Rey to watch his son... but he can’t seem to stop watching her.

Okay so I almost never read WIPs, but this one was left off in a pretty good place so don’t worry about cliffhangers or anything. I am a sucker for single dad!Ben so expect more of these. I loved this fic so much and get ready for a SMUTFEST.

Light My Fire - Rivals to Lovers, College, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 20k

When rivals Ben and Rey break into a professor's office together, it comes out that Rey might not be the Beta she thinks she is.

I’ve never been the biggest reader of enemies to lovers, until this. This was so so so good! I loved their banter so much, and this is another smutfest lol.

Peacock - Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, Neighbors AU - Complete - Rated E - 72k

Thanks to a series of misunderstandings, failed attempts at flirting, and loud Katy Perry music, Ben grows to hate his new neighbor.

Proposing to her wasn't the best solution to his problems.

This is, hands down, one of the funniest fics I have ever read. I cried actual tears because of how funny this is. Slowish burn, but their banter will keep you engaged the whole time. I love this so much!!

An Unexpected Vacation - Scientist, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 62k 

“You don’t care that someone, that people will watch you fuck?” He looks two seconds away from puking. “Like multiple, multiple people will be able to describe your vagina. They’ll probably analyze it in a boardroom. Someone will feel proud about a shitty PowerPoint full of annotated pictures. They will use words like ‘arousal fluid’ and consult charts and these things will never not be digitally saved. That doesn’t bother you?”

“Are you suggesting my vagina is unworthy of analysis?”

--

In which Rey attempts to bolster her bank account by volunteering to fuck an Alpha in a scientific study. Plans go pear-shaped when she accidentally triggers scientist!Ben’s first Rut.

This was a really funny smutfest and I loved that. I loved Rey and Ben so much, and Ben was the perfect “I hate everyone but you” boyfriend! I love this!

She Doesn’t Normally Bite - Single Parent/Teacher AU - WIP - Rated E - 37k

Ben Solo is a single dad to 6-year old Ellis. Her teacher isn't the old-cat lady that he expects and naturally, sparks fly when they meet. Rey helps show Ben that he is allowed to be happy and the romance is DELICIOUS. There will be the happy ending we all deserve.

Both Ben and Rey have a lot to navigate, and of course - things are never straight forward.

Tw: Bens wife died when their daughter was born - whilst it is mentioned periodically, it does not form a significant part of the story. There'll also be warnings in the notes for the particular chapters it'll be mentioned in.

THIS THE ONLY WIP I WILLL EVER READ REY AND BEN ARE SO FREAKING CUTE AND ELLIS IS SUCH A CUTE KID AHHHHHHH! That is all.

Down an Inch, Up an Inch - A/B/O, Soulmates, Gym Rats AU - Complete - Rated E - 60k

Omega instructor Rey has always been the master of her domain at Rebel Belle Barre and wouldn't dream of dating an Alpha.

When her new neighbors at Supremacy Bootcamp start ruining her classes with their terrible music, she storms over to give them a piece of her mind. She challenges the beefy ex-Marine owner Ben Solo to a plank-off and the loser has to take the other's class. When they spark an unusual connection, can Rey stay away for long?

Has she bitten off more than she can chew with the gentle giant Alpha with the warm, sad eyes?

SMUT FREAKING FESTTTTT. Okay but I loved these two so much, even though I am opposed to working out in any shape or form! I love the non-traditional soulmate part, and I really loved Rey in this. 

Tea for Two - Enemies to Lovers, University Setting AU - Complete - Rated E - 67k 

'"This is a tea house, you know." The plummy, ultra-posh voice startled Rey Kenobi from her day-dreaming, almost spilling the scalding hot coffee over her chest.'

Rey, an American former hacker, turned cyber security expert, has been commissioned by Oxford University to protect their systems from hackers. Unfortunately, she has to work closely with Professor Ben Solo, Merton Professor of English Literature who also happens to be Lord Ben Solo, member of the English peerage. And an unmitigated snob.

She drinks coffee. He drinks tea. He only reads classic literature. She reads Marvel comics. He is nobility. She is a nobody.

Things should go swimmingly, shouldn't it?

SO. MUCH. UNRESOLVED. SEXUAL. TENSION. I loved the slow burn aspect because I sat in bed because I was waiting for them to bone for so long. And after they bone its a smut and fluff-fest I loved this so much!

And They Were Roommates - Roommates, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 49k

“This isn’t going to work.” He points a finger between the two of them. “This arrangement.”

Her eyes narrow. “You didn’t put any specifications on who could apply.”

“Yeah…” He rubs the back of his neck then, the action making it look longer, making her wonder what it might feel like under her fingers. “You have to know that this isn’t a good idea.”

She knows what he means, she does—but she’s so tired of being brushed aside for her designation that she challenges him anyway. “And why not?”

His eyes bore into hers, his expression blank as he says, “Because I can tell how much scent-block you put on—and I can still smell you.”

In which Rey’s new roommate turns out to be a lot more than she bargained for.

EVEN. MORE. UNRESOLVED. SEXUAL. TENSION. Like these two would be eating cereal and I would be chanting, “bone! bone! bone!” the whole time. I loved these two, and the family aspect of this one was so good.

Imprints - A/B/O, Boss/Employee AU - Complete - Rated E - 74k

“I was happy you’ll be working with someone you know. He’ll take good care of you.”

Take good care of you.

The words send a shiver down her spine, sparking memories that flood her with embarrassment. She feels a strange itch just below her ear, her gland giving a phantom pulse as if her body remembers the incident even still.

Suddenly her triumph fades into dread, the idea of working here leaving a hollow pit in her stomach. Poe is still talking, but she doesn’t hear most of it. Her mind is firmly trapped in the vivid memories of six years ago— in a moment she wishes she could forget.

By the time she hangs up the phone— she isn’t sure anymore if she can do this.

Okay so this is pretty popular so I wont say too much, but it lives up to the hype. Smutfest, fluff and angst rolled into one beautiful fic! 

Bespoke - Enemies to Lovers, Boss/Employee (?) AU - Complete - Rated E - 38k 

When new stylist Rey Jackson receives a request to dress the hottest (and most unfashionable) new actor in Hollywood, she gets a lot more than she bargained for.

Mentally AND physically.

Because Ben Solo is freaking massive.

THIS WAS SO HOT OMG! Smutfest but also super cute. Another “I hate everyone but you” version of Ben I fell in love with. Loved this!

Incognito - Coworkers AU - Complete - Rated E - 30k

“Somehow Rey’s coworkers find out about her Daddy kink. They all kink shame her for it, except her coworker Ben. He has something else in mind.”

This was so funny! Ben and Rey were so cute, and I love Finn and Rose in this too! This was great!

A Home For Christmas - Single Parent, Sugar Daddy AU - Complete - Rated E - 109k

Rey is a struggling single mother who needs to do right by her daughter, even if it means she needs to steal. Ben is sad and lonely, recently divorced for the second time. When Rey's daughter picks him to help her find her mom, their paths cross and their Christmas becomes a little more bright.

This was so freaking cute OMG!! I know I say that a lot, but this was so adorable! I loved Ben and Rey so much, but Nova was obviously the star of the show. I cannot recommend this enough!

Unsuppressed - Office, A/B/O AU - Complete - Rated E - 49k

Rey had only ever encountered two Alphas in her entire life that had been unsuppressed. And now this third one that stunk up the entire building. Not that it stunk, his scent. In fact, it was the most delicious thing Rey had ever smelled. ///////////////////////////////////// Ben Solo closed his eyes as he rode down the elevator from the 40th floor to the lobby, trying not to reach up to his glands to scratch them. Somehow, it felt like he always caught the elevator that was dripping in the Omega’s scent. The one that wandered around the building without any suppressants. The one that smelled better than any Omega he had ever smelled before.

STRAIGHT FLUFF AND SMUT OMFG!!! I loved this so freaking much! This was whatever the opposite of unresolved sexual tension and slow burn. Like Ben and Rey tried to make this a slow burn but they could not keep their hands off of each other. I loved this!

Sunshine and Gunpowder - Hitman, Surprise Parents AU - Complete - Rated E - 48k

She’s a teacher who would do anything to protect her student. He’s a glorified hitman with a heart of black gold.

Together, they make up odd halves of a beautiful whole.

THIS WAS SO CUTE!! Like, yes, I know Ben is a hitman, but when I tell you he was the softest hit man I have ever read, Temiri was so cute in this! I loved Ben and Rey, and their UST made me love them even more. Han and Leia are also hilarious in this! 

It Takes a Village - A/B/O, Surprise Parents AU - Complete - Rated E - 40k 

Who knew that all it would take for Rey Johnson to interact with her enigmatic Alpha neighbor without wanting to melt into a puddle of hormones was a baby being abandoned at her doorstep?

Not her. That was for sure.

THIS IS THE CUTEST ONE YET! I REREAD THIS QUITE OFTEN! LIKE AHHHHHHH SO FREAKING FLUFFY! NOT EVEN A WHISPER OF ANGST AND A LOT OF SMUT I LOVED THIS SO FREAKING MUCH AHHHH! AND THE EPILOGUE MADE ME CRY!

Sensual Storytime - Office AU - Complete - Rated E - 23k

When Rey Johnson starts a new job, her initially antagonistic relationship with Ben Solo from IT turns into friendship... and maybe something more.

Little does she know he also moonlights as Kylo Ren, the creator of her favorite audio erotica. One day at the office, worlds collide, and she realizes the sweater vest-wearing nerd of her dreams is also the tattooed fantasy man she listens to while getting off every night...

THIS IS MY FAVORITE REYLO FIC EVER. I RECOMMEND THIS TO PEOPLE WHO DON’T EVEN LIKE STAR WARS! THIS IS COWORKER BANTER LIKE NO OTHER. AND THE SMUT ? UNPARALLELED. READ THIS NOW!

That is all I have time for right now, but I’ll make another list later if anyone would like that! Please take care of yourself and have a great day! 

[memorymistress]

{jeon yeo-bin, 28, cis woman, she/her} || min-ji nam is a mutant with the ability of memory manipulation they’ve been in new york for two years where they spend most of their time as mortician. when i think of them, i think of the name of a childhood friend you can’t quite remember, ink bleeding through a page, hands that don’t warm up, a long black coat with two buttons missing.

nam min-ji was the first child and only daughter to two loving parents.  she’s born in a small fishing town in korea. she’d remain an only child for four years, until her brother was born. her first seven years were unremarkable, then her parents pack everything and move to america for a work opportunity for her dad. she has an eidetic memory, which helped a lot during her schooling. she speaks two languages: korean and english, along with a small bit of french thanks to a required high school class. her life is normal, and she pursues a degree in chemistry with a minor in photography, and the former would lead to her pursuing an associate’s degree in mortuary science. after seven years of college, she’d shadow a local funeral director for a full year before going off on her own. her work has taken her all sorts of cities, even back to korea for a short stint. now, she’s back home in new york, running her own funeral parlor for the past two years. 

those are the facts. that’s her life story. 

it’s all wrong. 

nam min-ji was the first and only daughter to two loving parents. she’s born in a small fishing town in korea. she’d remain an only child for four years, until her brother was born. when she was five, she started a game that would entertain her friends and other neighborhood kids. if she touched their hand, she could tell them what they had for breakfast, what their mother had told them earlier in the day word for word, or what they’d gotten for their last birthday. the kids were amazed at min-ji’s ability, and begged for her to teach them. she’d just smile. by six, kids would come up to her in school for help remembering where their house was, what the teacher had said an hour beforehand, or other things their little minds couldn’t quite recall. but min-ji always could. 

the fun and games ended when her teacher noticed how children flitted to and from her desk. she wanted to know what was going on, as the disruptions were becoming a nuisance. min-ji, a little kid and proud of what she could do, wanted to show off to the adult. she grabbed her hand. images filled her head of a man yelling, and she could hear her teacher yelling back, something about money and cheating. min-ji frowned at her teacher, and repeated the exact words the man had used at her. the adult flinched and looked at her in horror. 

it was the beginning of the end. 

she’s sent to the headmaster’s office. neither them or the teacher could decide what was there to do about her. was she spying on the teacher? had her parent’s heard and told her? any rational conclusion couldn’t fit as how had the girl been able to say exactly what the teacher’s husband had? at the mention of touch causing it, they came to one solution: min-ji could no longer have skin to skin contact at school. she was to come everyday in gloves.

little min-ji became a pariah in a matter of days. there were whispers of what caused her new daily accessory, why the teacher wouldn’t even look in her direction anymore, if her ability to look in the past was actually a curse. her parents took her to different doctors, all of which had no clue what caused min-ji’s abilities. 

a year after her incident at school, a group of kids a grade older than her cornered min-ji in alley. they grabbed her hand and yanked a glove off. 

“show us your magic trick, freak.” 

min-ji, in tears and scared as the other kids pushed and smacked her head, discovered a new skill she had. as her hand was placed in one of bully’s, she saw a blur of memories and shut her eyes tight. she wanted it all to stop. stop. stop. STOP. and then it did. she was back in her own mind, and a sense of calmness washed over her. the other kid wasn’t so lucky. he dropped her hand and looked around. 

“where am i?” their group’s eyes widened. “who are you?” he questioned. unable to understand what was going on, the children screeched, one pulling on their now confused friend away from her. 

“get away from her! get away!” they yelled to each other. 

word was spread around. the boys’ parents are furious, claimed min-ji cursed their son. the entire town was aware of min-ji’s...quirk now, and they were furious. nothing her parents said could soothe the angry mob. a sympathetic doctor had contacted them, and let them know of a school that taught children like her in new york. her parents had no other choice, as they were just as worried about their daughter as much as their neighbors were scared of her. 

within the next few months, her family were moved to a two bedroom apartment in new york. in another week, min-ji was enrolled in the xavier institute. the harassment from their town, move, and overall culture shock of a new place had shaken min-ji. she didn’t understand what made her so different, made her so hated. 

slowly, she became to understand it. as she met the other kids, she could see their various talents and how hers weren’t just an everyday oddity. for awhile, things improved. she still wore her gloves, but with one on one teacher instructions, she learned to control and sharpen her abilities. there were still bumps and dives in the road, but nothing too bad. 

then, she took off her gloves one day. she’d met someone she’d wanted to hold hands with, to touch without fabric as a barrier. it was a mistake. she wasn’t ready. 

her excitement caused her to push her own memories onto her current crush, so much so they felt like they were experiencing it. for the first time in more than half a decade, she saw the emotion she saw in those kids’ eyes in the alley. fear. 

the other students started to avoid her. they’d flinch if she even brushed past. they were all different, but now people realized fully what min-ji could, the extent of it. how do you know if your memories are your own? is she messing with us right now? i feel like i’m forgetting everytime i’m in a room with her. min-ji realized even mutants couldn’t resist acting on their panic. 

still, there were a couple of people who stayed by her side, were friends with her. it didn’t ease the sting of people being scared of her entirely, but it helped her cope. as soon as she graduated, she was out of there. professor xavier had been kind enough to pay for her schooling to a university. she flourished there as no one knew she was any different. her parents were proud, happy that she’d grown up to be the woman she was. they found her choice of career a bit funny, but were glad she knew what she wanted to do. 

it’s during her year shadowing a funeral director things are thrown awry. the president confirms the existence of mutants. people will find out. they always want to know why she wore the gloves. 

with mutants coming out of the shadows, she panicked even moreso. she left the city, wanting as much distance between her and the school as possible. then, she couldn’t run anymore. she was in charge of someone who turned out to be a mutant, as well as their friends who attended the service. one had the ability to see other people’s mutation. he pulled her aside, began peppering her with questions. her repeated denial was met with an invitation. they had a group of mutants, people to test their powers with. if you don’t let it out once in awhile, you’ll explode. that conversation kept her up for weeks, until she finally gave in. it was uncomfortable at first, as she was resistant to revealing her abilities. when she did, it wasn’t fright that met her. it was amazement. 

she’s thriving again, but this time as herself. her true self. everything was going well, she was happier than ever. her powers weren’t a curse. they could make people happy, make her happy, like they had as a child.  

but she started to use it too much. she overexerted herself. she began having ideas, ways to speed up mutant acceptance. as she discovered she didn’t even need to touch people to look into their memories, to change it. why couldn’t i just meet the president, rewrite his history so he comes up with stronger mandates for mutant protection? some were for it, most were wary. you’re going off the deep end. take a step back. she didn’t care, she had a gift and wanted to use it. the amount of bodies coming into the parlor that were mutants had skyrocketed over the years. something had to be done.

the group agreed, just not with her. a plan was made with the other telepath among them as the main player. with their abilities, as min-ji slept one night, they put a stop to min-ji’s fantastical plans by erasing her knowledge she was a mutant at all. it took some time, to fill such a large part of her life enough that she wouldn’t be suspicious. 

it worked. min-ji started over without knowing it, and has been living that way for the past eight months. she wore gloves because her hands were always cold. i was born to be a mortician, huh? she’d joke to people once she told them her line of work. it’s normal. she’s normal. nothing could change that. right? 

okay so hi! i would love to plot with everyone and write with everyone! i’m izzy aka bells (i answer to either!) my discord is gaytendo#6961 or you can im me on here!! i can’t wait to write and talk with all of you!!

[edwardslostalchemy]

I’ve been writing this modern au and I’ve fallen in love with it, so I wanted to share. This isn’t even part of the main story line, it’s just my head going in different directions, but it adds to the world building and lore I guess. 

Fakir is an English literature professor at his former university and he quickly developed a reputation of being a hardass and a tough grader with high expectations, but his classes aren’t impossible. The brave students that have gone to talk to him have discovered that he is actually not such a bad guy and he helped them understand the material better and they got a better picture of what he actually wants. He does care about his students, it’s just he has high standards and he knows they can do better if they dig a little deeper. 

One day, he brings his little sister, Uzura, to lecture. Their father, Charon, wasn’t able to pick her up from school because he was still busy at work. So Fakir, who had a chance, went to pick her up and brought her back with him. Students start to file into their seats, and they notice this little girl at the front of the lecture hall drawing on the board and she’s covering it with flowers and sparkles while Fakir is setting up his stuff on the computer. The little girl is hard at work drawing and then she talks. And she’s LOUD. Like ‘get your attention’ loud. And the students thought that, for some reason, Fakir would mind. But instead, he’s being a great guy about it. 

“Inside voice, Uzura,” he says before he goes to see what she wanted to show him. 

She apologizes but never drops her smile and steps aside so he can see the bottom part of the board decorated with her drawings. The students are listening with baited breaths. Does this little girl not fear anyone on this earth? Not even Fakir? Not even God himself? 

And what does Fakir do? He pats her head and compliments her work! Says the flowers could use a little more color over here, and Uzura immediately colors in the flowers. 

Fakir starts his lecture and introduces Uzura, and she waves at everyone. The students think she may be distracting and this class is already hard to follow at times, but it’s just for today. 

Uzura takes a seat on the swivel chair meant for professors, and is surprisingly quiet during the lecture Fakir gives, reading the book she had in her backpack to pass the time. Meanwhile, Fakir, who is giving his lecture, writes things on the board, but never erases Uzura’s drawings. And if he needed more space, he erases the first things he wrote. 

The students think it’s cute that he keeps Uzura’s art on the board. And it stays on the board for a few more lectures until some other professor erases it. (The students are actually kinda miffed about it, too.)

He brings Uzura to lecture a few more times during the semester. She’s in the lecture hall by herself one day (Fakir went out real quick to get something from his office), and as students walk in to take their seats, she waves at them, that same smile on her face. She talks to them, too, and the students start to feel a little more relaxed in that lecture hall. After lecture, she waves at them again, and the students feel a little more comfortable, wave back, and even tell her to come to class more often. 

“They like me, zura,” she smiles. 

Fakir ruffles her hair, messes it up a little bit. “Maybe you should teach the class.”

What really seals it for the students is when they walk in for class and they see Fakir is playing hangman with Uzura, and she’s squealing and clapping her hands because she’s guessing the word correctly. And Fakir? He’s chuckling. He’s amused. He’s still snarky, but he’s playful about it. And Uzura sasses him back. What is going on??? She’s a little kid, but she really isn’t afraid of anyone in this world, huh?

The students are confused, so so confused, because this professor who is known for being a jerk is entertaining his little sister. It’s a very sweet image. Later on, word gets out that the toughest professor has a soft spot, if only because his kid sister is there to make him soft. And hell if Fakir doesn’t hear about these rumors, too. He does. He hasn’t really cared about what’s been said about him, but if people are going to know that he can be nice, then it’s good that this involves Uzura. 

In this AU, Uzura is a little older. She’s around 12 or 13, so she’s still a kid and she’s adorable and sassy. Fakir is older, around 26 or 27, a bit young to be a professor, especially with a reputation, but I have had professors who were this young and they were pretty chill and pretty cool, and they themselves had reputations, too so wooo. With Fakir’s strong personality and resting bitch face, it’s hard to not be a little intimidated by him. But imagine this grumpy professor being super soft with his kid sister who is all smiles and rainbows. I think it’s cute when professors bring their kids to lecture, so I imagine Fakir would bring his sister at times, too. And because he’s a good big brother, he takes her to get nuggets afterwards. 

[wedreamedlove]

Not Too Much, Not Too Little, Juuuust Right [Xu Mo Character Study]

Reddit archived.

I got a weekly chat recently from Xu Mo that made me appreciate all over again just how much of a wordsmith he is and his massive EQ (emotional quotient intelligence).

So, I wanted to explore that in more depth here and then slide into how love is a poison that worked its way into Xu Mo and is disrupting all his plans LOL.

Spoilers goes up to Chapter 9 but mentions Chapter 13. I'm also going to be doing direct comparisons to the English version because Elex did Xu Mo so dirty at the beginning.

First, I always need to give credit to @sharinluna and their comment in my Speech Quirks post (which I'm still updating to bring over) because I can never stop thinking about it whenever it comes to Xu Mo vs. the ENG server and how his social class is present in the game but difficult to convey to an English audience due to cultural differences.

I mentioned this in my Character Study on him but TL;DR Xu Mo being a distinguished neuroscientist and professor is sort of like meeting a doctor who cured cancer or something. You'd feel like you need to be extra presentable and it'd be understandable if they wanted you to call them Dr. because they studied 8 years for that Ph.D. There's a sense of awe and respect, right?

Xu Mo: I'll participate. Good luck, classmate.

Xu Mo: The next time we meet, you can just call me Xu Mo.

Here at [Main Story 1-9] you see that Xu Mo immediately gets rid of the distance between him and MC. I won't comment on the English version here, because it's a tough cultural one here. But Xu Mo calling her a classmate puts them on the same social level.

He takes that further by giving her permission to directly use his name. This is notable because it's normal to call people by their last names or titles in Asian countries. You don't assume closeness unless you're around the same age, permission is given, the time is judged to be right, etc.

Xu Mo: I'm laughing at how every time you let me help you, you'll always say reservedly at the end, "Thank you Xu Mo, it's all because of you."

Xu Mo: (Raises an eyebrow) What, am I that scary?

Here at [Footage 1-7] he points out how reserved she still is with him and then, again, makes another request for her not to be so reserved or scared around him.

The rest is close enough to English so I didn't show it, but I did show the above because in Chinese he imitates her voice and it's another instance where he's working to soothe her nerves. He's lightening the situation and making himself come off as silly and cute. He also structures his question in a way where he's not emphasizing whether or not SHE'S scared but if HE'S scary.

Now, in this next section, I want to point out that Xu Mo knows deepening a relationship quicker requires some stimulus and he's a master of introducing and relieving tension.

If you constantly flustered the other person and left them feeling embarrassed, then you'd be known as an aggressive flirt and you'd risk scaring them away. But if you fluster them and then give them some space by stepping back and smoothing the conversation over, then you're a charmer.

Xu Mo: In conventional terms, I believe it's called a "date".

Xu Mo: Mm, you don't have to think too much on it. We're just searching for interesting things together.

This is Xu Mo's first call which comes after [Main Story 1-14] and he asks MC how she's going to thank for his help on Miracle Finder. That's the introduction of tension. He's clearly flirting and MC is flustered as she racks her brain for something. He relieves the tension by taking over and asking if he can make a request. Then he introduces it again by hinting at having a date. But then he relieves it again by telling her that she doesn't need to think too much about it.

The reason I brought up a direct comparison is because of the nuance in "Don't read too much into it" vs. "Don't think too much on it". The former implies that she's not supposed to put importance on it being a date, because it's not true. The latter sneakily gives her the option of not needing to put importance on it, but it can still be a date and he's just not admitting it.

WORDSMITH!

To be honest, I wanted to avoid mentioning voice direction because that's a murky zone with personal preferences everywhere. However, I cannot resist this one part because it's the epitome of Xu Mo's scholarly demeanor letting him get away with things like this.

In [Main Story 2-11] Xu Mo calls MC to talk about folding light and then it leads to this teasing:

Today, a director from Miracle Finder came to discuss plans for the next show with me. Originally, I thought about having them leave [...] I thought you would come [...] More important than me? [...] Is it only for fresh ideas for your shows? [...] Haha, I'm feeling better now. I can talk with your director about the show's contents now.

He keeps his voice light throughout the whole conversation, and there's modal particles in there to soften his words. I also love the slight laugh he directs at himself and at the end. Again, he brings tension to the conversation by putting her on the spot but relaxes it by keeping things light.

In [Main Story 9-7] Xu Mo drops MC off at home after her hospital trip and teases her by asking if she's just going to thank him by saying "thank you". Tension is injected here! MC is flustered! Then he relieves the tension by saying there's many ways to show gratitude and she can take time thinking about it. He doesn't stay on this topic and instead leaves her alone.

Now, in this section, we acknowledge that all humans are unique and people have different levels of what they can tolerate. The same goes for our MC and we can see instances of Xu Mo adjusting his behavior according to her reactions.

Or, most notably, in [Main Story 5-6] Xu Mo asks MC:

Xu Mo: Then, could you change me if we continued to get along like this?

Um, there's a difference between "could" and "would" but I won't get into the semantics of that because I'm not a master in Chinese. However, I will note that the word he's using 能讓 means something like "can let, allow, can make" so it's an inherently soft verb.

Anyway, after this conversation, we end up at [Main Story 5-14] where MC criticizes the way Xu Mo treats girls because he's pleasant to everyone. He corrects her misunderstanding and explains the reasons behind his interactions with all the other girls.

However, he does take MC's words into account and adjusts his attitude accordingly. Hereon, he draws clear lines between him and other girls, although by nature he's still polite to everyone. It's another reflection of his emotional intelligence at how his attitude can't be judged wrong by anyone, and yet he can still convey his rejection and distance.

By the way, this is mentioned in his [CN Character Profile]:

Although he is gentle towards people, he makes people feel that there is a sense of distance, and it is difficult to really enter his inner world.

For example, in [Afternoon Date], Xu Mo politely answers the girl's questions about getting better sleep and then rejects her cake to him like so:

Xu Mo: I didn't help with anything, you're too polite.

Xu Mo: But I don't eat sweets. Thank you for your kind intentions.

Seriously, he leaves no room to be criticized. He was unfailingly polite, acknowledged her intentions, said he received them, but still rejected her cake. LOL.

In [Main Story 9-2] the nurse who is supposed to give MC an IV is super flustered in Xu Mo's presence and she misses the vein because MC unconsciously moves. Xu Mo tells her to try again and take it slow, because MC is going to be even more nervous now.

His words were seemingly casual, carrying his usual gentleness, but I could hear a hint of disaffection.

Translation? He's pissed. Haha, just kidding, but he's probably unimpressed with the nurse's incompetence and her attention on him, only he's too polite to let it show overly much.

Meanwhile, Xu Mo is also observing MC's reaction to him and adjusting his responses in consideration of her feelings (whenever he's not playing the flirting game).

In [True Love Date] everyone plays spin the bottle and answer questions, or get penalized with drinking shots. Xu Mo admits that he has someone he likes, but when they ask him to say who it is, he responds like this:

My heart beat even quicker as I buried my head deeper and my hand, which was held by Xu Mo, tightened unconsciously.

Xu Mo seemed to have realized something and, with a small smile, he raised his drink and drained shot after shot.

Are the translators only getting paid per scene and so they're dropping the latter half of every sentence? LOL...

Anyway, it's much clearer in Chinese that he feels her reaction, immediately understands, and just accepts the penalty with his usual elegance and smile. Or it could have been a chuckle. Oh god, Chinese and Japanese with their 笑.

Next, going back to [Main Story 9-2], Xu Mo is teasing MC and then gets called out. This is an interesting one because it doubles both as him restraining himself after her words, but also because he realizes that love is eating into him and he's reacting unconsciously and genuinely now.

He seemed to be deliberately imitating my earlier words, and the last syllable even rose up a little.

MC: Xu Mo, I haven't seen you in so long and yet you're getting better and better at making fun of me...

Hearing my words, Xu Mo was taken aback, and the smile in his eyes disappeared somewhat.

Xu Mo: Is that so?

Those three words were so light it was as if they had never slipped out of Xu Mo's mouth.

He quickly raised the corners of his mouth again, but the curve of his smile was more restrained.

Am I ever going to get over the translations for the hospital scene in Chapter 8 and 9? NO. NEVER. I hate it so much because it's two different worlds.

Changing gears to [Main Story 5-16] we get this observation from MC.

He's definitely a dangerous man! I need to stay farther away from him!

I'm sorry, but call me the fun police because I hate this translation too. I get it. The context allows for this after all his teasing, but you can get the same thing with the word dangerous. He's dangerous for your heart, he's dangerous for your hormones, etc.

The reason I'm being a stickler here is because MC isn't oblivious to Xu Mo's actions.

In [CN Archery Date] she thinks:

I tried to check Xu Mo's reaction, but he was just smiling. However, in those curved eyes, I felt like there were still hidden sides to him that I didn't know about.

From the day I met him, he concealed his inner thoughts and treated me with a calm, beautiful, and gentle smile.

That's why, up until now, I never thought he had a side like this to him.

MC knows Xu Mo wears a polite mask, but you don't just call people out on that LOL. Like any other relationship, you hope the other person will slowly open up to you. But, well, the reveal in Chapter 13 was probably not something she could have ever expected.

This is why I think the "dangerous" description up there should have been kept. It's some delicious foreshadowing that still lets you play around with innuendo.

Incidentally, the chat that made me write this post was:

MC: Xu Mo, have you ever had a time where you were furious?

Xu Mo: Not really. Living as a human means we need to control our emotions.

Xu Mo: There's even less of a need to be furious at something that's already happened.

First, he states his position and it's a mature one. Second, he then softens his superior position by generalizing how you and him both need to control emotions as humans. Third, he provides general logical advice without sounding like he's singling you out.

In comparison, I can easily see Kiro and Gavin sympathizing with your emotions and letting you vent. That's totally cool and that's their style because they're not the mentor-type. Meanwhile, Victor would probably point out how dumb you are for wasting time and energy getting angry instead of just going straight to fixing the problem. That's cool too, since he's the tough love type.

But you see how this sets Xu Mo apart? He's so skilled with his words. WORDSMITH!! I have a massive interest in social engineering and inherited my mother's social manipulation genes LOL so I love scholar archetypes and their word games.

If you're not doing it out of any malicious intent though then it's just a very considerate way of speaking and it's nice.

Conclusion. So, anyway, this was me wanting to admire Xu Mo's massive EQ. I'd say the only other person on par with him is Kiro, but Kiro has the natural kind and is more genuine because you can see him react truly to things.

Xu Mo is, much like his profession, a scientist who has probably studied how people interact with each other and perfected that. But this perfection in and of itself is what leads to a sense of discomfort with him because no one can be THAT gentle and placid all the time.

I always mention how disarming he sounds, because he's so good at social engineering, and it's only after the conversation is over and I take a few seconds to go over what was said that I'm like "Hey, wait a minute, that was actually alarming!?".

One of my favorite quotes is from the DUNE series by Frank Herbert and it goes: "To know a thing well, know its limits; Only when pushed beyond its tolerance will its true nature be seen."

This applies to Xu Mo. Knowing someone's bottom line helps you know them as a person and so we go into the next section where he shows genuine emotions.

LOVE IS A SLOW, SWEET POISON

Eyes are the window to the soul! EYES ARE THE WINDOW TO THE SOUL!! If I took a drink for every time there's a description about the ripples in Xu Mo's eyes (not even eye symbolism in general), I would be dead before even getting out of Chapters 1-10.

But, anyway, whenever there's flickering, surging, roiling, seething, welling, or shifting light in his eyes then it means he's feeling some heavy emotions.

Returning back to [True Love Date]:

Xu Mo stilled for a moment, light surging and roiling in his eyes, before I saw his Adam's apple bob.

For those with clever eyes, yes, the adjectives for the light in his eyes is supposed to draw references to water. Turbulent waves. Rolling waves. Surging waves.

I'm not going to show [Main Story 9-11] because the English was close enough with "Xu Mo's eyes welled with shifting emotions". They got the eye symbolism there at least! Chinese just went further by linking it directly to water again with how his emotions were like "swelling ocean tides at night".

Then, once these emotions hit their peak, they explode and deliciously unmake Xu Mo. He loses his calm and the contrast between the incidents I've shown above where he's been nothing but grace, elegance, and courtesy vs. this loss of control is fantastic.

In [True Love Date] we see Xu Mo corner the MC outside the washrooms because he misunderstands and thinks she's complimenting another man. Uh, no comment on the yelling in English vs. the quiet melancholic tone in the other versions. But the fact that he forgets his physical strength is a clear sign of a loss of control!

In [Midnight Date] he's trying to order himself to forget about MC and feeling a rope of thorns squeeze his heart. Uh, pretty clear sign of him losing control over his feelings again.

I would argue this all culminates in Chapter 9 when he realizes he loves her. In [Main Story 9-14] we get to see Xu Mo at his most human, where he lets himself feel, before he gets caught up in his plans again and sees them go awry at the end of Chapter 9.

Like the prophetic dream MC had in [Main Story 9-14], the ground has fallen beneath them and they're sinking into a deep ocean. The red spider lilies describe them well because the flowers and leaves can never touch and these two are separated with sadness and mutual longing... (or are they?).

Past Chapter 9, we literally don't see Xu Mo with MC until we head into Chapter 13 RIP. So, at [Main Story 12-22] we just see another example of Xu Mo trying to lock his humanity away again so that he can carry out his plan utilizing the MC.

The light in his eyes was still gentle but a bit unfamiliar and there was more of a sense of ordinary humanness.

The man nodded and turned around. His face was expressionless, and even his eyes lacked any emotion.

Took liberties in this translation, as always, because it's just impossibly hard to get across how fireworks symbolize mono no aware and the fleeting fragility of the human condition. So, when Xu Mo's eyes are described as having the breath of fireworks it means being grounded in the earthly realm as an ordinary human whose life shall pass, but that's why the moment you're living in right now is beautiful.

But... but he truly does love her LOL.

In the [2nd Trailer PV] Xu Mo says "You always... throw off my judgment" which is close enough to the Chinese line that translates to something like: "You always have me make the wrong judgment."

Perhaps it's unfair to criticize the English translation at the example below because translators generally don't have the full context of everything and often work solo with single parts (b-but that's why you need a good editor...).

However, I love looking at these two conversations together. This is from [Main Story 5-19] after Xu Mo mentions he hasn't slept for three days, and then Xu Mo's first call again after [Main Story 1-14] about the date-not-date:

Xu Mo: No, I don't. I just don't want to waste time on unimportant things.

Xu Mo: Relax together, share delicious meals, waste our time away...

Everything Xu Mo holds as important 1) his judgment and 2) his time because he doesn't do useless things has been overturned by the MC. That's love, baby!

In the words of Paul Valéry, a French poet and philosopher in the 19th century, "Love is being stupid together."

And you know what? In [True Love Date]... at least the Chinese version:

Forget it, he'll just be foolish once more with this foolish girl.

[blankdblank]

Brother Dearest Pt 20

The brothers, both fixing breakfast bent to stroke Whisker’s head in his path into the kitchen timidly taking in where he might eat from only to hurry over to the bowl Victor set down with some fish they had prepped for him and cooled so it wouldn’t burn his mouth laid on top of the kibble bought for him. Coiling his tail around himself he contently got to picking at the pile mentally tasking how he would eat it as James grinned settling down his bowl of water. At the opposite counter Pepper stood with head tilting only to hurry over seeing her own larger bowl being set down she hurried over to eating rapidly at first until James distracted her with a few pets down her back adding her water bowl beside it. Eddie sat down at his seat when you were heard running then falling down the final two steps making the three guys turn to lean into view of the guys whose mouths dropped open seeing the Canadian goose angrily flying in a circle above your back while you covered your head with your hands flinching at its bites landing on your exposed fingers under the blanket you had tried to shield yourself with. “It was in the closet!”

James rushed over grabbing a pillow while Venom popped out to snarl at the bird as Teddy ate staring up at his father unfazed. Scooping his arms around the bird only making it try to flail harder trying to hurt the trio between loud honks. Grabbing its neck James kept it from biting Victor’s neck again for the pair to escort it to the door with Pepper now standing over you barking at the second goose now flying down the stairs honking angrily at its evicted mate. A carefully caught neck later and with the first tossed out the door it was locked outside and Victor stayed to gently coax you up to a seated position as James’ claws popped out and he went hunting for more invaders inside your home room by room. The hard slam of shutters over a window that was broken sometime ago had the pair unable to enter again. Stroking your cheek Victor said, “It’s ok, Jimmy will make sure it’s clear.”

“It just popped out of the sweaters. Just, it has teeth! Look at my hands!” You said showing him the back of your silver fingers and hands revealing several bite marks with formerly bleeding teeth marks matching the ones you saw healing on his neck. “It bit you.” Concern flooded into your eyes and he shook his head helping you to your feet in a kind lifting hug, “That was a Canadian Goose. Normally steer clear but they must be late to move onto their summer homes from migration. Probably got in while we were away.” To your blind pets Pepper turned to her food again glad she had defended from the intruders.

James came huffing down the steps shaking his head, “Broke a window upstairs. Fix it later today.” Brushing your hair from your face he leaned in stealing a kiss on your forehead humming out, “Let’s get you something to eat Darling.”

Victor, “Now that we’re home again they’ll steer clear. Only try that when we go away. Surprised us after the Great War after we’d missed one of the windows.”

“I don’t get how ducks can be so sweet and geese can just be so evil.”

James chuckled and replied, “Trust me, Canadians have been wondering that for centuries.”

Victor, “In my kind that’s why goose and moose are spelled nearly the same. Geese are just a compact version of their moose brethren.”

Smirking already Eddie listened as you corrected him, “Meese.”

The brothers looked at you and Eddie chuckled out, “She’s got about nine languages to back up her argument on that. Even got one of my professors to say it before we moved away.” Making them chuckle and start on the meal you had settled down for hoping it might help your silver fingers peach up a bit.

Victor hummed back stabbing his fork into his sausage, “As long as you have an argument none can change your mind, Dad always said.” Earning a grin from you in return.

One cautious exit from the house locked up behind you and to the cars you went, cupping your cheek James claimed a tender kiss and said, “Pick you up after work.” Stroking Pepper’s head on her way to hop into the back seat beside Teddy’s carrier and Whiskers lounged on the patio relaxing contently in the sun knowing he had a window cracked for him to head inside when he wished to.

Into the car with Eddie you climbed heading off the opposite way of the guys towards the diner so he could drop you, Pepper and Teddy off on his way to class. Nodding he muttered, “It’s gonna be good.” Your hand patting on his shoulder had him exhaling and repeating the mantra to calm himself.

Daisy already was outside the diner with David grinning beside her ready to guide Pepper to his office for the day. Gladly she was off and you looked to Daisy as she smiled claiming the bag Eddie passed her of supplies listing already the favored blanket and toy rattle shaped like a fish. After a glance at you restraining your giggles she asked, “I just have to ask, he, doesn’t change does he? With the teeth and the tongue I mean?”

That freed a giggle from you and Eddie chuckled in relief that for a moment calmed his nerves for his first class, “No.”

You added, “I couldn’t do anything till I hit puberty, Eddie years after his. So no flying babies we wouldn’t do that to you.”

Making her chuckle in your soft giggle while Eddie watched her lower him into the pram she’d brought from home. “Off you go, Teddy and me will have a lovely day then, starting with a nice calm walk back to my place.”

Eddie nodded and claimed a quick hug from you pecking you on the forehead realizing that he was actually for once leaving you here alone for the first time all day.

.

Pictures in organized envelopes were shuffled through and the story behind each was shared while everyone who dropped by seemed to absolutely fawn over the changes. The usual line of trucks just passing through this time every week came into view and the pictures were rounded up and put back behind the counter as you readied for the bar to fill with the strangers. Though out of the passenger seat of one of them your lips parted muttering, “Erik.”

Straight out behind the counter you walked past he nodding men who followed their usual paths to the empty stools glancing back to you as the now 5 ft 10 fifteen year old cousin of yours gave you a grin before wrapping his arms around you, “Morning.”

“Why didn’t you call?” When you pulled back his brow inched up and you patted his arm, “Oh I know we don’t have a phone but you know I mean. You could have warned us.”

In the crowd the other waitresses were looking between you two wondering who the teen was and he chuckled out, “Well it’s just over an hour ride. Wasn’t hard to find a ride.”

You sighed and said fixing the collar on his shirt, “I just want you to be safe,”

The sentiment made his smile creep out as he replied also in English, “I know Bunny.” For a moment he paused just taking in the feeling of having a whole family around him who truly did care for his safety other than just his mother. “Mother preferred to keep her shifts over the summer, thought I might enjoy some time in the country. Fresh air and all that. Still a bit scared we would lose the house and her job if she went away, even for a month. Holiday break is one thing, summer is different. Plus, I am curious about our new addition to the Pear clan.”

In a giggle you replied, “Well no signs of a tail or fangs yet, likely not till puberty. Eddie’s at class and the guys are at he mill again. Teddy should be brought back around lunch.”

“Teddy?” he asked with a widening grin, “Like the bear?”

You nodded and the cook asked, “Bunny, who’s our guest?”

“My cousin Erik.”

Dot’s cousin asked, “Well you look alike,”

“Apparently I look like my paternal grandmother. His mom’s in Alberta sent him to us for the summer.”

Dot asked, “Is that your dad or Eddie’s dad again?”

In a giggle you replied, “I know our tangled family is a bit hard to keep up with.”

The cook replied, “Either way, welcome, and we could always use another busboy if you’re up for some spare scratch.”

Erik nodded and you showed him where to leave his bags and found him an apron for another of the teens to show him the ropes as you got to pouring out coffees. Rolling up his sleeves to focus on the job shouldn’t have brought so many stares his way. Yet between tables the few former soldiers off to work after eating their breakfast made note of the clear marker for why you had been so protective of the teen who seemed so able to defend himself on size alone however much younger then you he was. The silent marker of the blue tattoo on his forearm was shuffled around while more from town added that to the common knowledge bank about you along with the pictures once again.

David’s entrance alongside Pepper had Erik smiling and greeting her after she’d caught your scent on him on her way to lay under an empty booth along the wall as David came to settle in his usual spot at the bar. “Four lovely large puppies from what I can tell. All healthy, and, bonus, the families of two of my patients have requested I pass on their interest in housing two, if you agree that is and when they are weaned and mommy is ready.”

“Thank you,”

“And how is Whiskers?”

“Good, he was sunning himself when we left this morning. Taking well to his retirement, guys even added some cooked fish to his kibble this morning. Hopefully we can get some weight back on him.”

“Excellent ideas, he did feel a bit light for my liking. And my aunt once had a cat live to twenty three, so there is ample time and lives for your dear Whiskers.”

“That’s what I thought, he just looked so miserable, the last cat all alone.”

.

David once his food had arrived dug in and after dishing out another round of trays of food to a couple of families in for a lunch out on their way to a film your eyes shifted to the mail truck pulling up and Johnny popping out and hurrying inside. Laying the trays on the counter you turned noticing he was coming your way with an anxious grin inching across his face gathering the ladies after emptying their own trays and coffee pots.

“Hey Johnny.”

“Miss Bunny, sorry to interrupt but I thought this certain parcel should be handed over personally and not left in the box.” From his bag he passed you the official looking envelope coated in Royal arms and raised edgings decorating the sides. “From King George himself.”

“Hmm,” You said turning the envelope over and sensing everyone wouldn’t let it go and he wasn’t budging you lifted a finger to break the seal and brought out the familiar stationary from the notes left in your hotel room through your visit once the war was over and you were being awarded your medals. Unfolding the page you couldn’t help but smirk saying, “Apparently King George writes to inform me that even though the Church of England no longer practices the Catholic faith the Royal Family would be honored to be present in honoring my union to James in marital bliss. Wishing that there was no mistake that they would not have agreed to attend if I had been informed otherwise by their public religious stance against Catholicism. And wished to congratulate me on my engagement with a few requests to send at least six month notice so their security might inspect the venue for precautionary measures.”

You folded the letter easing it back into the envelope in the diner’s sheer silence past food popping and sizzling on the grill. Erik however asked with a hint of a smirk growing on his lips, “Did the King of England just invite himself and his family to your wedding?”

In a giggle you replied, “It does read a lot kinder than President Truman’s daughter’s letter we received in Brooklyn. Just a list of suggestions for venues in the States that would be ‘perfect’ for the ceremony. But when I wrote back that we were having the ceremony here I got a second letter with security procedures towards the seating arrangements at the reception. Must have met up with King George somewhere or called him to brag he was already invited.”

Erik couldn’t help but laugh and Dot squeaked out, “We are having the Royal family and the President’s family in our town?”

Erik replied, “Looks like you get a nice public wedding. It’s already all over the papers wedding bell watch, your battle ground fairy tale.”

That had you rolling your eyes, “Lovely.”

Erik chuckled saying, “No escaping a big public wedding now.”

“Well I will certainly have the dress for it.”

Glancing at Dot Erik asked, “Just how big is that church of yours?”

Dot’s smile came back as her cousin answered, “Oh it’s stunning, used to be a Catholic Church so tons of tiny details.”

Dot, “Only we lost our pastor and they just never sent another one so we mainly use it for activities and of course mini pageants for the little ones and take turns for Holiday celebrations.”

David asked, “You, um, need help finding someone to officiate?”

Shaking your head you replied, “Apparently Father Thomas from Brooklyn nominated himself. Just have to give him notice and one of his trainees will be handed mass for a Sunday if he had to miss it. Gina and Ambrose keep sending clippings when they pop up about our relationship. Press keeps talking about it, with ample little mail in polls on if I will continue with my plans for Barnard or not. Really comforting.”

Erik reached over to rub your arm and at your hand laying on the counter David tapped your hand wondering at the silver teeth marks on it. “What happened to your hand?”

“There were geese in my closet this morning!”

His mouth dropped open and the cook said, “Oh that’s terrible. Thought they boarded it up when you left.”

“They did, but apparently they broke a window missed, just vicious. James actually threw one by the neck out of the house.”

David, “Well that’s the way to do it. Absurdly strong necks geese. Just grab their heads hurl them and book it.”

“Vic sort of hugged the other one to get it off me and got it out the door with James holding its head to keep it biting him.”

David, “Also a good strategy.”

Steadily once he’d eaten and Erik had cleaned up he smiled going through his own chance at the pictures from Brooklyn that in your break you shared all the details from anything he asked on. Daisy’s arrival with Teddy however had the focus shifting a bit allowing you to cradle your nephew saying, “Here you are little guy.” Kissing his forehead then laying him back to feed him from the bottle she brought granting her a lunch break as well to join in on the pictures as well.

.

His break however came and went and off from their own shift a few hours later Victor and James pulled into the parking lot instantly smirking curiously upon entering and seeing Erik there. James grinned at him, “Hello Erik, we didn’t hear you were coming so soon.”

Erik grinned saying, “Mother said I could come early. She is still uncertain on leaving for so long.”

James nodded patting his shoulder in welcome, knowing they weren’t to hugging just yet, “Understandable.”

Victor asked, “How’d you get here?”

Erik, “I rode along with a truck driver.”

Victor’s brow inched up, “You hitched-,”

James shook his head, “You shouldn’t.”

Erik, “I am quite tall for my age.”

Victor, “All the same, it is safer for you to not hitchhike.”

James, “Tried it once, but I got stabbed,”

Victor patted his brothers’ back, “See, always be safe.”

James looked at him, “You’re the one who stabbed me.” Chortles rippled through the room at the tale.

Victor smirked at him, “You never hitched again did you? I rest my case.” Making James roll his eyes and you giggle along with a few people chuckling in the diner at the odd brothers.

Erik glanced at you and said, “Bunny did show reluctance for the task. I will refrain whenever possible.” You grinned at him and the pair settled into their seats ordering just shakes to tide them over planning on taking Erik with you all to fish for supper. Changing the topic he stated after clearing a couple more tables and returning with the tips he added to the proper tip boxes for each section when the guys were decently through their shakes. “Bunny got a letter.”

Smirking at him in wiping down the counter after another customer had left you clarified to the curiously smirking brothers. “King George wrote to calm any notion that even though the Royal Family does not practice or agree with Catholicism they would not miss celebrating our union.”

James chuckled to himself as Victor let out a laugh, “Wonder how long it took Truman to start bragging he’d gotten tickets to the wedding of the century.”

“Yes, there has been questions if the church could be, grand, enough? For the occasion with a Royal Family and the First Family in tow.”

James chuckled saying, “We can head over now, give you the full tour.”

“It’s open without a Priest?”

Victor nodded and Dot said, “The quilting club is there, so the pearl room is in use, oh and there might be violin lessons upstairs, music lessons are four days a week.”

Victor, “We will not disturb them.” Joining James in downing their drinks they stood adding their change to the till and stood as Dot’s cousin brought you your tips she added to your purse you shouldered, taking hold of the pictures and your letter.

James, “Pepper, sugar?” From under her table she climbed and came over walking to his side accepting his pets.

David, “I’ll head over to Daisy’s and let her know where you are for when Eddie comes to fetch Teddy.” He stood doing the same petting Pepper as well on his way out with you all. Outside the door he turned for her home while Victor helped to lift Pepper into the back of the truck he settled in beside her with Erik beside them with bags too. Down a road through town you hadn’t ridden before you watched as a distant tower started to come into view.

James, “You alright, Darling?” Reaching over to fold his hand around yours on your lap.

Scooting over he smirked draping his arm around you in your wish to cuddle pressing a kiss to your forehead, “It’s just getting so big. All the papers, and people expecting to be invited.”

“I will give on Truman and the King, don’t you worry about anyone else. It’s all family and friends from there. You don’t have to compromise anything about the guest list. It isn’t a performance, it’s our big day, don’t you worry about anyone else and their tantrums.”

“I just don’t know how to make it big enough-,”

“Our day, it doesn’t have to be big. Might as well give them a chance to see a smaller service for a change. No doubt they are all used to the pomp and flair for their usual relatives marrying other noble lines.”

Stealing a peck on his cheek he smirked as you said, “I think you come from a very noble line.”

“Not as noble as yours, Darling. Worth every headline, and if I can brag a bit, I think the church will be plenty grand enough to satisfy any complaints from our sudden guests.”

The bell tower came into view and from the outside it seemed to be an odd jumble of features to the building with only the bell tower and front stained glass window to give away it could be a church. Shifting for him the truck parked and out you all climbed with James helping you out his door after claiming a tender calming kiss before your feet could touch the ground. Awkward musical notes carried through an open window and up the front steps you walked following Victor through the heavy wooden doors into a carpeted wooden paneled hall.

Each small room was named along the way as either baths or small classrooms that could be used for various activities, leading to steps feeding up to the more spacious music room once used for the former Father’s apartment. Across from the study for the meeting with congregants sat another room that looked to be an apartment sitting empty but recently cleaned.

Victor said, “This would be the Groom’s quarters,” you turned to look at him and he said, “To change in with his Groomsmen. Separate steps down to the chapel to keep Bride and her party out of sight, theirs is downstairs, to prevent any tripping on hems, twisted ankles and such.”

Down he led you to the other apartment also cleaned up recently with ample seating and wardrobes for clothes and whatever else needed on the big day. From the door however a familiar voice asked, “Ah, so you’ve finally come to inspect the place?”

You nodded, “Yes, probably a little later than most would like.”

She waved her hand, “Nonsense, one year away is way ahead of schedule for anyone here in town, though most of us grew up here around this church, so we do have a pretty good idea of the layout as it was. Now, we are all just thrilled to have your wedding here, as the Howlett family was behind the building of it. Great great grandfather’s I believe.” Her head turned and you smiled seeing Victor’s finger tap his chest in a silent claiming of the design. A woman from the quilting club came to see what had distracted her from returning with more scissors and took her back leaving you all alone again and Erik looping his arm around yours excited to see more.

James claimed your other hand and through another set of halls he said, “And the big finish.” Easing the door open to the chapel for your entrance your lips parted taking in the many arches and pillars in the vast hall with an upper balcony for the organ and other instruments to sit on the right of the section for the choir.

Victor said, “Town was bigger then, and everyone came to mass every week. Needed ample space.” Around the main sections of seating were two divided sections like a Y, aimed at the raised section for the service to be conducted. “Both of those could be used for our special guests, who no doubt would be expecting extra security. And they won’t be in the way of the others, just nice and out of the way while granting an up front view of the vows.”

James, “Usually for weddings the families use it for the closest relatives. Though since all of our family will be in the service, we won’t really need the seating anyways.” He caught Erik’s curious stare and smirked, “You didn’t think we would just have you watching, did you?”

Erik looked at you, “What will I be doing?”

James, “Well, Victor is my Best Man, so he handles the speeches, if you like you could keep hold of the ring for me?”

Erik nodded, “Of course, what about Eddie though?”

Victor, “Eddie gets to give her away, possibly along with your mother, if she wished to, that is.”

Rubbing his arm you added, “Plus she would be in my wedding party along with Eddie’s sisters Gina and Ambrose, who are both trying to work out which would be my Maid of Honor. Since it also has a speech I thought Aunt Edie might not be so open to that.”

Erik shook his head, “No, Mother does not usually enjoy public speaking among strangers.”

“Understandable, I am glad myself I don’t have to make one.” Making the guys chuckle, “And she could handle the rings for James, Gina no doubt will be crying and Ambrose has dropped three rings before from excitement.” Making Erik chuckle, “She does love to be a bridesmaid. And I think the dress for it would be lovely for the three of them.”

Erik, “No doubt she will cherish it. Will there be any certain tasks, normally our ceremonies are different.”

James, “It’s pretty straight forward, you would dress with us, we walk in, Bridal Party comes next with the music, hand off the flowers, there’s a prayer, we say our vows, trade rings, lifting of the veil, the kiss, et voila.”

Erik looked at you and you giggled, “Et voila, it’s French, for um, ‘and there it is’. Roughly.”

Erik nods, “That makes sense, people in school use it. I am trying to learn French.”

You shook your head, “Take your time. It is a difficult one to master coming from languages like Polish.”

James nodded, “Even harder to have to go to others like Japanese, terrible time of it when we lived there.”

Erik, “There is no breaking of glass?” He asked when the difference struck in his mind, “It is wrapped in cloth and you stomp on it.”

“No, I’m sorry.”

He shook his head, “Do not be.”

“I do hope you won’t be upset with the service,”

“We won’t be. You are family. It is a different faith is all. I am certain your papa would be proud of it.”

Victor, “If you do find any part you would want included let us know. We do want to know more about that side of Bunny’s family. Your faith is a big part of her dad she didn’t get to know. Hope you don’t take our digging as anything more than getting to know him.”

Erik nodded, “I understand, though I am not an expert.”

Victor, “Neither are we. Haven’t been Catholic in decades. But, her mother was Catholic, most of her town and fellow Irish immigrants in Brooklyn all are devout Catholics. Images must be upheld, Mass weekly, including Father Thomas of that church volunteering for performing the service.”

James, “Though I will say we will not be including the vow to obey. I don’t care what the Priest or even the King says.”

A whistle sounded behind you and you turned smirking seeing Eddie walk in eyeing the room with Teddy laying across his chest. “Wow,” Pepper was at his side inching up on her back feet to sniff the boy reaching for her. “Certainly incredible. Great for a show.”

Coming closer to your group he spotted Erik and grinned widely, “Erik. When’d you get here?”

Erik, “This morning,”

Eddie smiled asking, “Have you met Teddy yet?”

Erik smiled, “Yes, I have, he is quite the eater.”

Eddie chuckled, “Yes, takes after Venom I think in that front.”

James, “Just got here in time. Explaining the ceremony to Erik.”

Eddie smiled larger, “Yes, it’s going to be wonderful, and is there a back lot or something for the reception?”

Victor, “The barn, or what we call a barn, this one Jimmy designed. Should be perfect for the reception.”

Out through the back of the church you exited and let out a soft gasp seeing their glass barn, James said, “Hoped you would feel it might be homey to have it here.” Leaning in to kiss your cheek gladly smoothing his thumb over his ring re-aligning the purple heart stone from between his fingers then tracing the black and white gold woven diamond coated bands excited for the distant day of the ceremony.

In through the front doors they led you and the wooden interior with stunning crossing beams coating and supporting the ceiling between spiraled columns dividing the sections. “Bar’s over there, clearly, there’s a kitchen back there, baths are over there and under the open second floor is normally where the music crew is set up. Eating is all over here, and under these planks are checkered marble tiles for the dance floor.”

“So beautiful,” making him grin wider as you eyed the dangling vines coating the glass wall helping to make the possibly cold feature warm up to the wooden interior.”

Victor, “Last time we had strings of lights, and these big knots of chandeliers we hung out for the last wedding, really quite fancy. Some white table cloths and the good china could really do wonders.”

Pt 21

@changelingkhat, @alishlieb​, @bun-bun-the-rabbit​

[blackswaneuroparedux]

La Grande Illusion: the collapse of the old order of European civilisation

Jean Renoir’s monumental 1937 cinematic masterpiece La Grand Illusion has always been a favourite of mine ever since my grandfather - a highly decorated military veteran himself - first brought the classic war film to my attention over a family Christmas. 

It’s easy to gush about Renoir’s World War One classic. It won at the Venice Film Festival upon release and was the first foreign language film to be nominated for an Oscar - despite the novelty of seeing and hearing the British, French and German officers speaking their own native tongues. The critical reception and accolades aside, La Grand Illusion is simply an extraordinarily well-made film that makes a serious commentary on the condition of Europe and examines common values and decency under the stress of war - the ability in all of us to act with respect and warmth towards those with whom we share bonds stronger and deeper than national boundaries and political divisions.

The “grand illusion” of Jean Renoir’s great French film referred originally to the British author Norman Angell’s belief that the supposed financial advantage of war is a falsehood. For Renoir - himself a veteran of the World War One trenches - this illusion evolves into something more complex and various, and so does its tragic and ironic grandeur.

There are only two references to the title but both are pertinent. Once when a French soldier exclaims ‘what an illusion,’ when a comrade says that the war will be over before they have time to escape from military prison, and again when he describes the end of all wars as an illusion.

The legendary Eric Von Stroheim is Captain Von Rauffenstein, an aristocrat and German PoW camp commander in the first world war, ramrod-straight in a uniform with white gloves that conceal horrendous burns from when he was shot down in combat. He pursues an elaborately civilised policy of martial respect for his distinguished prisoner Captain de Boeldieu (Pierre Fresnay) - a suave French aristocrat in his own right. But Rauffenstein is archly disdainful of Boeldieu’s more plebeian comrades Rosenthal (Marcel Dalio) and the boisterous working class Maréchal, played with luminous masculinity by Jean Gabin.

What the Frenchman knows and the German won’t admit is that the new world belongs to commoners. It changed hands when the gentlemen of Europe declared war. And the “grand illusion” of Renoir’s title is the notion that the upper classes somehow stand above war. The German cannot believe that his prisoners, whom he treats almost as guests, would try to escape. After all, they have given their word not to.

"Neither you nor I can stop the march of time,” the captured French aristocrat Capt. de Boieldieu tells the German prison camp commandant, Von Rauffenstein. A little later, distracting the guards during an escape of others from the high-security German fortress, the Frenchman forces the German to shoot him, reluctantly, and they have a final deathbed exchange. `” didn’t know a bullet in the stomach hurt so much,” he tells the German. “I aimed at your legs,” says the German, near tears. And a little later he says: "For a commoner, dying in a war is a tragedy. But for you and I - it’s a good way out.”

For me one the things that hit me is how much the film underlies the separation of classes, which is the second major concern of the film. Indeed, the characters provide a microcosm of the European class system in the early twentieth century. It is interesting to note that not everyone in the film is limited by the barriers of his mother tongue. The two aristocratic officers, von Rauffenstein and de Boeldieu, as well as the scholar, Demolder, can speak or understand several languages other than their own. The Jewish officer, Rosenthal, who has relatives on both sides of the front, can speak German. With the possible exception of Rosenthal, however, the linguistic skills of these characters are ineffectual instruments of human understanding. The reasons are various and have mostly to do with class.

Demolder, the Greek professor, is the object of much ridicule. To the aristocrats he is never more than a subject of minor amusement. They ignore him, for instance, when he gawks like an undergraduate art history student at the Medieval fortress of Wintersborn, where they are being held prisoner. Even the middle class Marechal parodies him at one point, exclaiming that the castle is ``Fourteenth century,” to which Boeldieu replies wittily, “Pure Gothic.” Ironically, the scene was actually shot in a chateau built by Wilhelm II.

Demolder’s books, in which no one else is the least bit interested, disturb Boeldieu’s cards. Boeldieu remarks “coldly” that Demolder’s dictionaries are going to be in his way. Demolder is in the process of translating Pindar, whom he considers “the greatest of the Greek poets.” We are left in no doubt, however, that the undertaking will not be as momentous as Demolder would like to think. Rauffenstein’s contemptuous comment upon learning of Demolder’s activity is: “Poor old Pindar!”

Boeldieu says that Demolder has “the soul of a bird.” Although Demolder has a sentimental worship of books (he is incensed when the Russians set their books on fire) and studies a foreign language, his interests are ineffectual. The student of a “dead language,” he offers no help in bridging the language barrier between the French and Germans.

The aristocrats, Boeldieu and Rauffenstein, might effect such a bridge between the nationalities, but they are prevented from doing so by the duties and isolation of their class. They are separated from their fellow officers as much as anything by language.

Boeldieu, for instance, is isolated by a certain class dialect as well as what one might call his ideolect. Throughout the film, he speaks in a witty, formal, epigrammatic style typical of the aristocracy. At Hallbach, noticing the young German soldiers drilling while the prisoners of war prepare their play, he comments: “On one side, children playing at soldiers. On the other, soldiers playing at children.” The conversation at Wintersborn is distinguished by his witty banter with Rauffenstein. When the latter has finished showing his new prisoners around the fortress, Boeldieu remarks: “It was very pleasant of you, sir, to have shown us around your estate.” The other French officers cannot or are not allowed thus to “pull off” their attempts at wit. Marechal’s amusing joke about Maxim’s does not go over with Rauffenstein.

Boeldieu’s formal style leaves his fellows cool to him and indeed suspicious of his motives. Marechal himself, who must “explain” Boeldieu to the others, notes at one point that “he’s a good bloke, but you can’t let yourself go with him, you can’t feel free…. A different sort of education…. If ever you [Rosenthal] and I found ourselves in a bad spot, we’d just be a couple of poor down-and-outs, but him, he’d always be Monsieur de Boeldieu.”

Later in the film, when the bourgeois Marechal, aware of Boeldieu’s impending sacrifice, attempts a deeper level of friendliness, Boeldieu puts him off: “I’m not doing anything for you personally. That excuses us from the danger of getting emotional.” When Marechal questions Boeldieu’s continued use of the formal “vous” after eighteen months together, Boeldieu responds: “I say vous to my mother and my wife.”

Rauffenstein is similarly isolated from his fellow officers by class and language. His preferred languages seem to be French and English, and when he does speak German his voice takes on an unaccustomed and alien rasp. His junior officers are also of the middle class, and they consider him something of a lunatic for what is to them eccentric behavior. Rauffenstein’s careful cultivation of the geranium, “the only flower in the castle,” is ridiculed by his martinet of a junior officer, a former headmaster who claims to “know how to keep that gang of devils [the prisoners] in their place.” Interestingly, in the moving scene of Boeldieu’s death, Rauffenstein sacrifices this last “flower of the aristocracy.”

Boeldieu and Rauffenstein, isolated from their fellow officers, have the most in common with each other, but ultimately they are separated by something else they have in common: their patriotic duties as aristocratic career officers. Rauffenstein seems to regret this more than Boeldieu and is keener to maintain their priviledged intimacy. To effect this intimacy he makes continual use of the English language.

A language common to the aristocracy of Europe, English allows Rauffenstein to distinguish himself and Boeldieu from the others, in effect to talk over their heads. It becomes their special language. In the early banquet scene, Rauffenstein, recognizing Boeldieu’s name, presumes his knowledge of English. Sesonske has pointed out that “Rauffenstein switches from French to English without question or explanation, knowing that a `de Boeldieu’ will of course understand,” whereas “Marechal is surprised to find his German neighbor speaking French and seeks an explanation.”

In a later scene at Wintersborn, Rauffenstein shows off his twenty-five Maxim machine-guns to Boeldieu and the others. Marechal attempts to imitate Boeldieu’s witty style: “Why, of course, sir. Personally, I prefer the restaurant…” The response of the two aristocrats to this infringement on their stylistic territory is interesting. Boeldieu, at whose expense the joke is made, accepts it with a benign resignation, as a master does a pupil’s imitations: “Touché.”

Rauffenstein, on the other hand, will not condescend to the humor of an inferior. He shifts immediately to English, talking as he knows over the heads of the others: “I used to know a pretty girl at Maxim’s… back in 1913. Her name was Fifi.” Boeldieu responds also in English: “So did I.”

Rauffenstein’s aristocratic snub recalls, as he likes to do, a nostalgic time before the war when aristocratic career officers did not have to accept middle class “officers” such as Marechal and Rosenthal as in any sense their equals.

Both Rauffenstein and Boeldieu know, however, that the old European aristocrats, along with the peculiar form of international understanding they possessed, are a dying breed, cut off from their own lower classes and no longer in control of events. In a private conversation in Rauffenstein’s quarters, again punctuated with English phrases, they discuss this situation candidly.

Rauffenstein admits his distaste for his present position as commandant. “I was a fighting man and, now, I am a bureaucrat, a policeman. It is the only way left for me to try and serve my country.” When Boeldieu asks him why he made an exception in inviting him to his quarters, Rauffenstein responds disdainfully: “You call Marechal and Rosenthal… officers?” Whatever else the war brings, “it will be the end of the Rauffensteins and the Boeldieus.”

To Rauffenstein, such middle class soldiers are “the charming legacy of the French Revolution.” Boeldieu comments that “perhaps there is no more need for us.” Rauffenstein immediately asks: “And don’t you find that is a pity?” Boeldieu responds, less certainly: “Perhaps.” Boeldieu’s scepticism suggests that if there is to be a solution to the problem of lack of international understanding, it will not come from an international aristocracy with an exclusive language.

Indeed, this point is dramatised in the final exchange of English between the two men. When Boeldieu devises a plan of escape for Marechal and Rosenthal, he reserves for himself the role of creating a diversion. While all the prisoners except Marechal and Rosenthal assemble for a general roll call, Boeldieu climbs the watch-tower and plays the tune, “Petit Navire,” on a flute (an instrument he claimed earlier to have hated). He distracts the Germans long enough for his middle class comrades to effect their escape. When Rauffenstein learns of Boeldieu’s dangerous escapade, he makes a final personal appeal to Boeldieu to surrender. Interestingly, the appeal is in English, unintelligible to his own men and the various prisoners.

Rauffenstein in English: Boeldieu, have you really gone insane? Boeldieu in English: I’m perfectly sane. Rauffenstein in English: Boeldieu, you understand that if you do not obey at once and come down, I shall have to shoot…. I dread to do that. I beg you… man to man, come back. Boeldieu in English: It’s damn nice of you, Rauffenstein, but it’s impossible.

At this point, Rauffenstein is forced to shoot Boeldieu, and only afterward learns that Marechal and Rosenthal have escaped. To himself in English (in a language he can now use only with himself) he mutters, “so that is why,” and suddenly shifting to a harsh German, orders the dogs called out to search for the escapees. In the end, the mutual intelligibility of the aristocrats is overcome by their intense sense of divergent duties. As Boeldieu comments on his deathbed when Rauffenstein begs his forgiveness, “I would have done the same thing. French or German… duty is duty.” However moving the scenes with the two aristocrats may be, thay cannot offer a solution to the problem of human understanding that the film poses. They represent rather a dead end.

If there is to be such a solution, Renoir seems to tell us, it must come from the middle class, from the Marechals and Rosenthals and Elsas of Europe. Accordingly, these characters dominate the film’s final scenes.

La Grand Illusion’s most basic contributions to cinema include a series of well-followed tropes used in later prison escape films. Hiding their escape hole under floorboards beneath a bunk, the men tie a rope to a single mole digging the passage deeper. Air flows to him through a tube of cans, and a string attaches to a warning tin that he pulls to sound his readiness for relief. The excess earth is stored in small bags and emptied from under their pants during their faux gardening activities. Later escape-centric films such as Frank Darabont’s The Shawshank Redemption (1994), John Sturges’ The Great Escape (1963), and Le Trou (1960) by Jacques Becker (himself the assistant director on Grand Illusion) replicate aspects of the escape procedure established in Renoir’s film.

In originating tropes of a war or escape movie it was careful to avoid cliches of its own. La Grand Illusion features no “war is Hell” scenes of grisly trench warfare that convey the chaotic bloody truth of battle. Neither melodrama nor jingoism have roles in Renoir’s narrative. He even carefully resists all clichés about patriotism, as well as clichés regarding his own pacifist aims. Avoiding strong subjective illustrations, Renoir’s film remains politically impartial, even while he makes humanist indictments and remains a jealous disciple of his homeland.

It’s not then a movie about a prison escape. It dwells on the conflicts among men. The prison camps show the entire national community in a bubble. Ideas such as nationalism, class, and race create the conflict between the prisoners; however, at the same time, they bring people together.

It’s also a meditation on the collapse of the old order of European civilisation. Perhaps that was always a sentimental upper class illusion, the notion that gentlemen on both sides of the lines subscribed to the same honourable code of behaviour. Whatever it was, it died in the trenches of World War One. The idea that wars can be fought according to gentlemanly rules is an illusion – like the belief that the 1914-1918 conflict was the war to end all wars. As Plato said at the beginning of the birth pangs of European civlisation, ‘only the dead have seen the end of war’.

[loudlytransparenttrash]

Man. After reading that post about the college topics, I am SO glad I chose engineering as a major

It’s awesome you chose engineering :) But the field isn’t quite immune.

Four professors from different schools published an article arguing the engineering field has to rid itself of toxic “masculine social norms” such as the desire to win, emotional regulation, a need for high performance and risk-taking as it prevents women from succeeding in engineering. The professors frame these traits as hurtful to women, saying that masculinity ultimately legitimizes “men’s dominant position and the subordination of women” and reinforces “white male heterosexual privilege.”

Attendees of an annual engineering conference at Louisiana State were made to spend a full hour learning about “implicit bias” and “microaggressions” in engineering. The audience were asked to write examples of microaggressions on sticky notes and post them to a bulletin board to highlight the issue. The professors who presented the training said those who aren’t aware of their microaggressions continue the discrimination and discouragement of women and minorities in STEM. “When implicit biases result in entire groups being underpaid or being subjected to higher standards, we have a problem.” Emory University professor Scott Lilienfeld however wrote a research paper disputing microaggression training, stating microaggression theory is not close to being ready for real-world application and could actually exacerbate racial tensions by encouraging students to perceive offenses in everything.

Three Iowa State University professors were given a quarter of a million dollars to study race and gender microaggressions in engineering, claiming that the research will ultimately help students feel more safe in their classroom. “The project will contribute to diversifying engineering programs through increased awareness of subtle behaviors, creating an environment where minority students feel safe, which will ultimately positively impact our society. Using an intersectional perspective that considers race and gender identities as unique identities, this research proposes to address gender and race microaggressions experienced by engineering students and compare gender and race microaggressions between predominantly white institutions and historically black colleges.”

The dean of Purdue University’s School of Engineering Education declared that academic “rigor” reinforces “white male heterosexual privilege.” Defining rigor as “the aspirational quality academics apply to disciplinary standards of quality,” the professor asserts that “rigor is used to exclude marginalized groups and marginalized ways of knowing.” She claims that rigor reinforces white male privilege and makes men and women of color, LGBTQ+ people and first-generation students invisible, adding that “decades of ethnographic research document a climate of microaggressions and cultures of whiteness and masculinity in engineering.” She evens contends that “scientific knowledge itself is gendered, raced, and colonizing,” asserting that in the field of engineering, there is an “inherent masculinist, white, and global North bias, all under a guise of neutrality.” On her faculty page, it says her aim is to “revise engineering curricula to be relevant to a fuller range of student experiences and focusing on de-centering Western civilization and uncovering contributions of women and other underrepresented groups.”

Cornell University dropped its Graduate Record Examination requirement for one of its graduate programs in order to increase diversity and inclusivity. While other universities have scrapped the GRE requirement for science and English programs, Cornell is one of the first schools to drop its requirement for the engineering program. They scrapped it after studies showed women tend to perform worse on the exam than men and minority groups tend to perform worse than white and Asian students. “Removing the GRE scores from consideration is expected to reduce barriers to graduate education and contribute to a fairer and more holistic review process. We anticipate that others will join this vision.”

Faculty at Harvard’s School of Engineering and Applied Sciences are now required to submit reports detailing their involvement in “promoting diversity and inclusion.” Unsatisfactory performance in diversity efforts could affect faculty bonuses. “When we think about bonuses or rewarding faculty, we look at the full complement of expectations, we think about questions around how this person contributes to our institutional commitment to advance equity and diversity.” In addition, applicants for engineering teaching positions at the school must be ready to submit a “diversity, inclusion, and belonging statement” before even being considered for the job.

The University of San Diego hosted an engineering conference with a focus on social justice that included a trip to the U.S.-Mexico border to allow participants a chance to discuss the topics of social justice and immigration. The event welcomed those who want “to help deconstruct our historical and current engineering practices” and “bring social justice to their engineering classes.“ Attendees were hosted by the Border Angels, a group that helps migrants and illegal immigrants, “to discuss social justice and engineering in relation to engineers ‘building a border wall.” There were also workshops which included “Engineering and Peace,” “Identities and Social Justice” and “Revolutionizing Engineering Education to Create Changemaking Engineers.”

The chair of the Department of Engineering Education at Ohio State University told the campus community in a letter that her relationship with her colleagues is adversely impacted simply because they’re mostly white and male. Monica Cox emphasizes that “it was important for me to work with my male students, my white male students, people who have never engaged with a female professor of color.” She added that the lack of diversity in the department “represents some of the real issues in our society when it comes to socioeconomic differences and disadvantages to minority populations.” Both Cox and Ohio State are currently being sued after an engineering director was allegedly fired unfairly. In the lawsuit, the former director stated when Cox first became her supervisor, she told her “I want you to hear how my background shaped me in to the person I am today. White people have put up barriers to my career success and I have worked against disadvantages in my workplace put up by you people.”

The American Society for Engineering Education spent $300,000 on “diversity research” with the goal to change “campus culture” by providing resources to train engineering professors in advancing and promoting LGBTQ causes in their departments. The principal investigator for the study is a member of a group who keeps track of which faculty and staff have completed "Safe Zone training" at the university and have "pledged to stand against heterosexism, homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia.” The ASEE also granted Worcester Polytechnic Institute $150,000 to study how to make LGBT students “feel comfortable” in their engineering classes because “engineering schools are notoriously inhospitable to LGBTQ people” and “engineering programs full of straight students are less creative.“

A mechanical engineering professor from Michigan State University published an essay condemning the social justice corruption in the field. “Instead of calculating engine horsepower or microchip power/size ratios or aerodynamic lift and drag, the engineering educationists focus on group representation, hurt feelings, and microaggressions in the profession.” He states that engineering education schools increasingly focus on concepts that are incompatible with the actual discipline. “They have sought out the soft underbelly of engineering, where phrases such as ‘diversity’ and ‘racial gaps’ and ‘unfairness’ and ‘unequal outcomes’ make up the daily vocabulary. Their purpose seems not to be how best to train new engineers but to let everyone know how bad engineers have been. The door to engineering is open to everyone, the question then is, are you good enough?”

[stephenmccull]

To Free Doctors From Computers, Far-Flung Scribes Are Now Taking Notes For Them

Podiatrist Dr. Mark Lewis greets his first patient of the morning in his suburban Seattle exam room and points to a tiny video camera mounted on the right rim of his glasses. “This is my scribe, Jacqueline,” he says. “She can see us and hear us.”

Jacqueline is watching the appointment on her computer screen after the sun has set, 8,000 miles away in Mysore, a southern Indian city known for its palaces and jasmine flowers. She copiously documents the details of each visit and enters them into the patient’s electronic health record, or EHR.

Jacqueline (her real first name, according to her employer), works for San Francisco-based Augmedix, a startup with 1,000 medical scribes in South Asia and the U.S. The company is part of a growing industry that profits from a confluence of health care trends — including, now, the pandemic — that are dispersing patient care around the globe.

Medical scribes first appeared in the 1970s as note takers for emergency room physicians. But the practice took off after 2009, when the federal HITECH Act incentivized health care providers to adopt EHRs. These were supposed to simplify patient record-keeping, but instead they generated a need for scribes. Doctors find entering notes and data into poorly designed EHR software cumbersome and time-consuming. So scribing is a fast-growing field in the U.S., with the workforce expanding from 15,000 in 2015 to an estimated 100,000 this year.

A 2016 study found that doctors spent 37% of a patient visit on a computer and an average of two extra hours after work on EHR tasks. EHR use contributes to physician burnout, increasingly considered a public health crisis in itself.

Before COVID-19, most scribes — typically young, aspiring health professionals — worked in the exam room a few paces away from the doctor and patient. This year, as the pandemic led patients to shun clinics and hospitals, many scribes were laid off or furloughed. Many have returned, but scribes are increasingly working online — even from the other side of the world.

Remote scribes are patched into the exam room’s sound via a tablet or speaker, or through a video connection. Some create doctors’ notes in real time; others annotate after visits. And some have help from speech-recognition software programs that grow more accurate with use.

While many remote scribes are based in the United States, others are abroad, primarily in India. Chanchal Toor was a dental school graduate facing limited job opportunities in India when a subcontractor to Augmedix hired her in 2015. Some of her scribe colleagues also trained or aspired to become dentists or other health professionals, she said. Now a manager for Augmedix in San Francisco, Toor said scribing, even remotely, made her feel like part of a health care team.

Augmedix recruits people who have a bachelor’s degree or the equivalent, and screens for proficiency in English reading, listening comprehension and writing, the company said. Once on board, scribes undergo about three months of training. The curriculum includes medical terminology, anatomy, physiology and mock visits.

Revenue has grown this year, and his sales team has grown from four to 14 members, Augmedix CEO Manny Krakaris said. Sachin Gupta, CEO of IKS Health, which employs Indian doctors as remote scribes for their U.S. counterparts, projects 50% revenue growth this year for its scribing business. He said the company employs 4,000 people but declined to share how many are scribes.

Remote scribe “Edwin” gives internist Dr. Susan Fesmire more time, freeing her from having to finish 20 charts at the end of every day. “It was like constantly having homework that you don’t finish,” she said. With the help of “Edwin” — Fesmire said he declines to use his real name — she had the time and energy to become chief operating officer of her small Dallas practice. Edwin works for Physicians Angels, which employs 500 remote scribes in India. Fesmire pays $14 an hour for his services.

Doctors with foreign scribes say notes may need minor editing for dialectal differences and scribes may be unfamiliar with local vocabulary. “I had a patient from Louisiana,” said Fesmire, “and Edwin said afterward, ‘What is chicory, doctor?’” But she also praised his notes as more accurate and complete than her own.

Kevin Brady, president of Physicians Angels, said their scribes start at $500 to $600 per month, plus health care and retirement benefits, while senior scribes make $1,000 to $1,500 — middle-class family incomes in India. Employers are required to provide employees with health insurance, although many scribes are contractors, and the job site Indeed.com says the average salary for a scribe in India is $500 a month. Scribes in the U.S. get about $2,500.

Remote scribing is still a small part of the market. Craig Newman, chief strategy officer of HealthChannels, parent to ScribeAmerica, the largest scribing company in the U.S., said that the firm’s remote scribing business has increased threefold since the pandemic’s outset but that “a large majority” of the company’s 26,000 U.S. scribes still work in person.

It’s a highly unregulated industry for which training and certification aren’t required. The service typically costs physicians $12 to $25 an hour, and studies show scribe use is linked to less time on patient documentation, higher job satisfaction and seeing more patients — which can mean more revenue.

For patients, studies suggest scribes have a positive or neutral effect on satisfaction. Some have privacy concerns, though, and state laws vary on whether a patient must be notified that someone is watching and listening many miles away.

Only 1% of patients refuse a remote scribe when asked by physicians at Massachusetts General Physicians Organization, said Dr. David Ting, the practice’s chief medical information officer. His group, an IKS Health client, always seeks patient consent, Ting said.

Scribes aren’t for everyone, though. Janis Ulevich, a retiree in Palo Alto, California, declines her primary care doctor’s remote scribe. “Conversations with your doctor can be intimate,” said Ulevich. “I don’t like other people listening in.”

Some patients may not have the opportunity to decline. With limited exceptions, federal laws like HIPAA, the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996, don’t require doctors to seek a patient’s consent before sharing their health information with a company that supports the practice’s work (like a scribe firm), as long as that company signed a contract agreeing to protect the patient’s data, said Chris Apgar, a former HIPAA compliance officer.

About one-quarter of U.S. states require all parties in a conversation to agree to be recorded, meaning they require a patient’s permission. Some states also have special privacy protections for certain groups, like people with HIV/AIDS, or very strict informed-consent or privacy laws, said Matt Fisher, a partner at Massachusetts law firm Mirick O’Connell.

Remote scribing also raises cybersecurity concerns. Reported data breaches are rare, but some scribe companies have lax security, said Cliff Baker, CEO of the health care cybersecurity firm Corl Technologies.

The next step in the trend could be no human scribes at all. Tech giants like Google, EHR companies and venture-backed startups are developing or already marketing artificial intelligence tools aimed at reducing or eliminating the need for humans to document visits.

AI and scribes won’t eliminate physician burnout that stems from the nature of the health care system, said Dr. Rebekah Gardner, an associate professor of medicine at Brown University who researches the issue. Neither can take on burnout-driving EHR tasks like submitting requests for insurance company approval of procedures, drugs and tests, she said.

This KHN story first published on California Healthline, a service of the California Health Care Foundation.

Kaiser Health News (KHN) is a national health policy news service. It is an editorially independent program of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation which is not affiliated with Kaiser Permanente.

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[sapphirelass]

Deal? - Remus LupinxDaughter

Hi! :)

Deal? (Part 1) | Oh, darling... (Part 2) | I’ll be by your side (Part 3) 

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Please note:

1: I don’t own any of the gifs used, nor any already established characters, so credit to the authors and original creators - You have done a phenomenal job :)

2: English is not my native language, as I was born and raised in Sweden. I have, however, studied English for almost a decade, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem, I just thought I’d let you know ;)

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I swear, my next story won’t be about Umbridge XD

Word count: ≈ 2300

Warnings: Umbridge, angst, slight swearing

Enjoy!

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“I do not wish to criticise the ways of the school, however you have been exposed to some rather irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed - not to mention” the toadlike professor threw a dark glance at a sandy haired student and smirked evilly, “extremely dangerous half breeds”. 

The student in question raised her hand angrily, and glared at Professor Umbridge. “Yes?” the teacher smiled sweetly, “miss… Lupin, am I correct?”

“Yes, Breanna!” she began, “but that’s besides the point. Look, I know what you’re doing, but Professor Lupin was the best DADA teacher we’ve ever had, and I’d be more than happy to bet everything I own on that being quite a common opinion in this classroom!”

Most of her fellow classmates nodded furiously, and the young girl turned her head towards her professor, who immediately cleared her throat and declared: “Well, I’m afraid simply being a beloved teacher doesn’t really matter, dear.  Werewolves are still extremely dangerous creatures. They are beasts that are undeserving of respect and that should not be allowed to be part of our fine wizard community. They are uncontrollable, and highly likely to injure or possibly kill young witches and wizards, including their own children.” 

She flashed a cruel, yet pleased, smirk as Breanna furiously stood up, despite Hermione desperately trying to force her down. 

“You have NO IDEA what you’re talking about!?” she whispered angrily, her nails digging into her palms as her fists clenched. “You have probably never even met one of these so called ‘half breeds’, have you? No, you were most likely just told some bizarre stories containing more lies and made up facts than truths, and decided to put that worthless ‘knowledge’ - if you can even call it that - to use by spreading rumors and destroying the lives of innocent people.”

Umbridge looked frantic, and was about to speak up, but Breanna got there first. “I despise people who look down on others. People who claim to be better than everyone else. People like you. You certainly don’t deserve respect!”

She took a deep breath, and was about to continue when Umbridge’s shrill voice forced her to stay quiet. “That’s quite enough! Detention, miss Lupin. The rest of the week, five fifteen, don’t be late”. 

***

A few hours later, Breanna made her way back to Umbridge’s office. She knew her friends had wanted to talk to her, but she had done her absolute best to avoid them all afternoon. She simply didn’t feel like explaining to them why she had done what she did. She’d gladly do it again though. Her father was the kindest, wisest, most incredible person she had ever met. He had done everything in his power to give her a good childhood, and no one had the right to insult him. She’d defend him to her last breath if that’s what it would come down to.

She knocked on the door carefully, and pushed it open when she heard a shrill, terrifying voice sing a sweet “come in”. 

“Oh, miss Lupin, almost late I see!” she said arrogantly. Breanna didn’t have time to answer before her teacher continued. “Sit down.” 

***

The detentions went on for another four days before Umbridge told her she didn’t have to come back the following evening, but that she better hold her tongue unless she longed for more. Breanna tried to keep that in mind, but still lost her cool a few more times before the end of the semester. However, the Christmas holidays were approaching, and though her red, swollen hand caused her to worry slightly, the idea of seeing her dad and godfather caused her enough joy to tip her mood over to “mainly happy”. 

She stepped off the train with her friends, and immediately spotted her father on the platform.

“Dad!!” she shouted, and threw her scratched arms around his constantly scarred torso. “Merlin, I’ve missed you so much”. She buried her head in his shoulder, simply enjoying the feeling of love and safety that he somehow instantly gave off. 

“Hello, darling!” he said gently, returning the bone-crushing hug. “I missed you too, believe me…”

Breanna wanted to stay like that forever, but eventually let go as she intended to at least try to keep her… problems… hidden. She had never really been able to keep secrets from her dad, and therefore didn’t want to do anything he would consider “out of the ordinary”. If she did, he’d figure it out, or persuade her to tell him everything within minutes, and she knew he’d feel guilty if he realized what she had done for him. She understood perfectly well that the scars on her hand were deep enough to be visible for the rest of her life, and that nothing she would say could convince Remus Lupin that it was not his fault. She was left with one option: He could not, under any circumstances, know. Ever. 

They carried her trunk together, and walked a few feet behind the rest of the gang.

“So?”, her father inquired, “How are things? You all doing okay?”

“I suppose”, she answered, “Our new DADA teacher is quite a daft prick though.”

“Bree!”, he muttered sternly, casually trying to hide a smile, “Are you sure that’s the right word? Sounds rather rough, doesn’t it?”

The witch shrugged. “No, I think it fits rather nicely. It’s almost as if she’s trying her very best to prevent us from learning anything helpful…”

“That’s… well, that doesn’t sound very promising, does it?”

“No, hence the slightly offensive description… But enough about her, how are you? Had any company while I was gone?”

The older wizard smiled, easily noticing the tone of his daughter’s voice switch into a far more joyful, energetic one - One he knew and loved! 

“Oh yes, I’ve spent quite a bit of time at headquarters, and Sirius essentially isn’t allowed anywhere else, so we’ve done a lot of catching up. There is, believe it or not, a lot to talk about after 12 years without seeing each other, so it’s been very nice.” He turned to her, smiled even broader and added a quick “But I’ve still missed you.”, before quickening his pace to catch up with the others.

***

Later that night, Breanna, Remus, Harry and Sirius were sat in the living room of number 12 Grimmauld Place. Harry and Sirius were playing catch with an old snitch they had found in the house, lazily throwing it back and forth. Breanna lay on a sofa, a thick leather bound book tightly clutched in her hands and her head resting on her fathers lap. He was deeply invested in A Guide to Medieval Sorcery, and father and daughter were simply enjoying a nice, calm evening.

All of a sudden, Sirius grabbed the snitch, sat up straight and reached out towards his godson. 

“Harry, what’s that on your hand?”

The dark haired boy pulled the sleeves of his jumper further down and mumbled a quiet “nothing”.

“Sure, let me see then”

“No, it’s fine, don’t worry abo…”

Harry didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence, as Sirius had risen from his seat and forcefully grabbed his left hand. The slightly faded “I must not tell lies” was still readable, and Harry winced as the look on his godfather’s face went from composed to furious in a matter of seconds.

“Who?” 

“Sirius, I…”

“WHO?!”

By this time, both Remus and Breanna had put their books down, and were carefully observing the “argument”.

“It’s our new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Umbridge. She’s quite generous when it comes to giving detentions. But mine’s really not that bad now. It barely hurts anymore...”

“That’s totally barbaric!? Moony, we have to…”

“Harry”, Remus interrupted his old friend with a worried look on his face, “What do you mean by ‘quite generous’?”

His heart practically skipped a beat when he felt his daughter shift uncomfortably, however it was Harry who answered.

“‘m quite sure half the Gryffindors have been to her office at least once by now. Even when you’re not really doing anything wrong, she’ll make up a ‘reasonable’ excuse…”

As Harry spoke, Breanna had unconsciously been pulling the sleeves of her jumper closer to her fingertips. Remus obviously noticed and made eye contact with Harry, nodding discreetly towards his daughter as if to ask if she too had… well… yeah? Harry closed his eyes, knowing full well how his friend wanted to hide her scars from her dad. It had taken hours of convincing before she had even let him, Ron and Hermione see, and he understood why she didn’t want Lupin to know. He did, however, not like the idea of lying to his former professor, and nodded slightly.

Remus closed his eyes looking simultaneously sad and angered, sat up straight and muttered “Bree?”

The young witch took a deep breath and was about to move away from her dad, but he was faster and quickly grabbed her hand. He was very gentle, but she flinched anyways, as her last detention had taken place only a week prior.

“Bree”, he repeated, “show me”

“Dad”, she mumbled quietly, “‘tis fine, don’t worry”

“Brianna!” His voice sounded far sterner now, “I’m serious. C’mere”

“No, I don’t want…”

“It’s not a question of whether or not you want to, Love”, Sirius explained before his friend could think of a response. “Show your dad.”

“But…”

“Bree”, Harry mumbled, “Just… just do it”

“No! I can handle it! Stop making it sound like I’m too weak to do so!”

She felt a tear escape her eye, and stood up to leave the room when Remus waved his wand and locked the door.

Taking yet another deep breath, his daughter turned around, made her way across the room, pulled her left sleeve up and slammed her scarred hand down on the table for the other three to see.

“There! You happy now?!”

A flood of tears were streaming down her face, as her dad, godfather and best friend leant closer and read seven deep-red, awful, heart wrenching words:

***

 I must not defend filthy half breeds

***

Remus put his head in his hands and stood up, while Sirius moved closer to his goddaughter and pulled her into a tight hug. Harry joined the embrace and comfortingly rubbed her back.

“why? Why Bree?”, her father whispered quietly, his voice barely audible.

“I… I couldn’t...She… sorry…” 

The usually calm, collected girl was completely lost for words. Shaking. She had no clue what to say, all she knew was that she had to let her dad know that she was sorry. Sorry for making him feel guilty. Sorry for causing him so much pain. Sorry for not being strong enough.

She walked over to him and noticed heavy, wet tears on his face too. Carefully she wrapped her arms around him, and together they sank down onto the cold floor. They sat there for what felt like hours before Remus finally spoke up, repeating his previous question.

“Why, darling?”

She met his sad gaze and collected her thoughts before quietly whispering “She keeps saying horrible things - pure lies - and she’s enjoying it. She’s throwing insults my way every chance she gets. If I don’t stand up and fight, everyone will think she’s right, and she’s not. Nothing will ever change unless someone works for it, and as soon as that someone backs down, they’ve lost. I’m not having that.”

He looks back at her, his eyes full of pride. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“You mean besides being the most phenomenal dad imaginable?”

He chuckled softly, ruffled her long hair and held his hand out. Breanna slowly placed her hand on her father’s and shifted her gaze towards the floor as he examined the neatly written letters. With a worried expression on his face, he grabbed his wand and moved it back and forth over the scars while quietly muttering a few carefully chosen words. The pain immediately became more endurable, and after putting his wand away the older wizard grabbed his daughter’s shoulders gently, and looked at her in a sad, yet determined way.

“Bree, as honourable as your intentions are, please don’t do this for me. I’m not going to tell you to back down, but if you’re going to keep it up, don’t let it…” He paused, trying to find the right words. “I can’t stand the thought of you getting injured because of me. I’m not wo…”

“Yes, you are! Stop saying that! I’ll be a bit more selective, if that’s what you want, but don’t you dare tell me not to fight for you. You are my dad, my only family, and there is not a single person on this planet less deserving of disrespect, insults and hate. Dad, you’re amazing, and I’m not letting her fool people into thinking you’re not.”

After a moment of silence, a quiet, “I still don’t like it…”, escaped his lips. 

“I know.” She sighed,  “That’s why I originally didn’t plan on telling you.”

Bree was fiddling with her fingers, not quite meeting her fathers warm gaze, when she suddenly sat up and said, “Let’s make a deal? I promise to choose my fights more wisely, and in return, you won’t blame yourself for the consequences of said choices? Sounds fair, doesn’t it?”

Her father sighed, but reluctantly answered, “Fine, as long as you promise me one more thing.”

“Hmm?”

“You won’t hide scars or pain from me ever again, no matter whether it’s physical or mental, okay? You’ll let me know, and let me help, always!”

She held her right hand out, her dad shook it and they shared a smile. This time, a true, pure one that actually reached their identically green eyes.

“Deal!”

~ L

Part 2 Oh, darling...

Masterlist

[medea10]

My Review of Little Witch Academia

Atsuko Kagari (nicknamed Akko) has always had a fascination with witches. Or should I say one particular witch! When she was a child, she saw a magic performance done by a famous witch named Shiny Chariot. After that, Akko decided then and there that she was going to become a witch just like Shiny Chariot. So when she became a teenager, she got the opportunity to enroll at Luna Nova Magical Academy. While this school has primarily been a place for witch’s only to hone on their skills, due to financial issues they opened the school up to non-magic users. And Akko has no magic in her whatsoever!

We follow the antics of Akko as she tries to survive in a witch academy. During her time she’s managed to snag a wand that was once owned by Shiny Chariot (which she plans to return to), meet friends like Lotte and Sucy, start a rival with the school star Diana Cavendish, get one-on-one training from Professor Ursula (who has her own kind of past), and learn everything there is to know about becoming a great witch. But Akko is going to have a tough time because like I said, she has no magic in her whatsoever! BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: As I mentioned at the beginning, this series is under the thumb of Netflix (in every country). I haven’t had the opportunity to check out the subtitled version. As for the dub…boy, Erica Mendez is getting the choice roles in Netflix exclusive animes. I can’t complain, the lady does fine work. Plus Netflix gives me a chance to hear other new voice actors and seiyuus. Some were big misses with me, but others (like Sucy’s voice) won me over. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from. JAPANESE CAST: *Akko is played by Megumi Han (known for Yamato on Ore Monogatari, Momiji on Fruits Basket 2019, Kagari on Steins;Gate 0, Rio on YGO Zexal, and Chie on Tokyo Ghoul) *Sucy is played by Michiyo Murase *Lotte is played by Fumiko Orikase (known for Dianthe on Pokemon XY, Kyubei on Gintama, Riza on FMA: Brotherhood, Seras Victoria on Hellsing, Shirley on Code Geass, Rukia on Bleach, and Aki on Inazuma Elven) ENGLISH CAST: *Akko is played by Erica Mendez (known for Ryuko on Kill la Kill, Haruka/Uranus on Sailor Moon redub, Emma on The Promised Neverland, Nico on Love Live, Yuuki on SAO II, Retsuko on Aggretsuko, and Tsubaki on Your Lie in April) *Sucy is played by Rachelle Heger *Lotte is played by Stephanie Sheh (known for Mikuru on Haruhi Suzumiya, Kuro on Blue Exorcist, Nui on Kill la Kill, Hinata on Naruto, Orihime on Bleach, Illiya on Fate/stay night, Yui on K-ON, and Usagi/Sailor Moon on Sailor Moon) FAVORITE CHARACTER: I know in stories like these I always root for the underdog and they end up my favorite character…buuuuuuut…

I like Sucy! Yeah, I like the little mischevious, mushroom-loving witch. And yes, I love the episode where Akko goes inside Sucy's subconscious and we see all the Sucy's inside Sucy.

DISLIKED CHARACTER: I knew I couldn’t really hate Diana! I think most of the hatred I shared at her direction for the majority of the season was because of those two cronies that hung around her. Those two were catty bitches and I just hate those kinds of characters. But nothing could compare to Diana’s bitch aunt.

God, fuck this woman! She literally tries to usurp Diana from taking over as head of the Cavendish family line. Just so she can give it to one of her bitch daughters! She’s seriously giving me Lady Tremaine vibes, it’s not even funny. You know it’s bad that I was rooting for them to die when they got into trouble. But Diana wasn’t going to let her bitch aunt and bitch cousins die so I should stop hoping for severe payback. SHIPPING: Hmm…the shipping category is going to be fun! I think it’s only because of that one episode that involves a bee sting and the person is smitten with the next person they see. And boy did Akko get her fill when not only Andrew falls for her, but Diana as well!

Actually, I have thoughts of Andrew really taking a shine to Akko. I honestly thought there would only be two interactions at the most between him and Akko during the show. But surprisingly, there were more. I’m not really a fan of this ship, but I still find it cute. Hell, even Lotte found a boy that was interested in her at one point. She turns him down, but he still holds out hope. Also a cute moment! Hmm…at the moment I’m an open multishipper for this series. If Akko ends up with Diana, cool man! If she ends up with Andrew, whatever, I can dig it! If Akko ends up with Amanda, more power to you (and I can totally see that because Amanda is giving me total lesbo-vibes). What do you expect, this is like an all-girls school!

You know what, I’m now leaning towards Akko x Amanda more than all the others. Don’t fight me on this, I just know I like it! ENDING: Up until the halfway point, a lot of the episodes are about Akko trying to make it as a witch. Did she surpass everyone’s doubts? While Akko was able to improve her magic a bit (I give it 5%), it’s not at the level as many of her classmates. I mean by episode 20, Akko still cannot fly a broom! That should tell you something. But what’s the one thing that seems to be missing from this series?

An antagonist? Yeah, in comes Professor Croix! And to many of the students, she feels like she’s able to bring witchcraft into today’s era with her technology driven methods. And Akko certainly has taken a shine to her. However, Professor Ursula can smell this woman’s bullshit a mile away. Ursula was once the classmate of Croix. But back then Ursula was known as… Oh come on, it was so bloody obvious the moment Ursula met Akko.

Ursula is really Shiny Chariot! Meanwhile, Akko ends up trying to speak these seven secret words that’ll unlock the wand she obtained in the first episode. You know, the wand that belonged to Shiny Chariot?! And Akko has managed to obtain six out of the seven secret words. She could be the one to get the seventh word, which was something Chariot was unable to do as a student. But this positivity ends with a looming war (over a soccer match) on the rise. In actuality, there’s a force around the town as well as certain moments at the school that have caused chaos. Yes, it’s Professor Croix exploiting people’s anger for her own research. Not only that, but she used Akko for her own selfish ambitions and as a result ended up injuring Shiny Chariot to a point of altering her magic (possibly permanently). That’s one thing. Then we get quite a big bombshell!

AKKO’S MAGIC: Ever wonder why Akko has like zero magic ability?! When she saw Shiny Chariot’s performance as a child, her dreams and potential magic were taken by Chariot in order to make her performances more magical (due to audience members becoming disinterested in Chariot’s magic). Akko’s magic was taken away from her before she could even realize a thing. Damn! And you can just imagine Akko’s heartache finding out that her professor was really Chariot and that Chariot did that to not just Akko, but other children! After Chariot found out what her magic shows were doing, she immediately fell off the map.

BACK TO THE CONCLUSION: One of Croix’s inventions went rogue and is officially threatening the world. And it’s up to Akko, Sucy, Lotte, Diana, Amanda, Constance, and Jasminka to catch up to this rogue missile invention. Now that Akko was able to obtain the seventh word, there’s a good chance they can take out Croix’s out of control missile. Croix thankfully realized the errors of her way and understood the pain she’s caused to her students and her former classmate. Croix and Chariot decide to give their all to help the girls as well. While five of the seven girls were able to give a big boost, it was Akko and Diana who took out the looming threat. That’s right, witches saved the world! Yeah, during the series a lot of people were kinda mean to or looked down upon Luna Nova and the witch race in general. Especially, those dickheads at Andrew’s prep school! With this act, I’m sure Luna Nova and the witches will finally get the respect they deserve. In the aftermath, yes Luna Nova is now receiving more respect from those that have been quite cruel to them throughout the series run. Croix is going away to do some research. One of her biggest plans was to restore Ursula/Chariot’s magic that was lost due to her own recklessness with Akko. The students go back to their lessons and…

Akko (after 25 episodes) was able to float a few inches off the ground using her broom. She flew…sort of. I’ll let it count as a victory! THE TWO SPECIALS: A few years prior to the television series run, Little Witch Academia had two movies air. Now this is a different telling of the story. In the first special (which is 25 minutes), it has Akko come upon Chariot’s rod during a class assignment (instead of coming upon it in a forest like the first episode).

And here’s a real kicker, while Akko is still the class screw-up and has the least amount of magic, here she actually has SOME magic. In the second special (which is 55 minutes), Akko ends up in trouble (like normal) and ends up having to do a punishment assignment. She has to help orchestrate a ritual which ends up turning into a parade. So Akko, Sucy, Lotte, Amanda, Constance, and Jasminka all end up working together to do this. But Akko wants to turn this into something for people to remember and always cherish. Like her experiences with the Shiny Chariot performances she saw as a child! But there’s always blow-back because at Luna Nova, Shiny Chariot is seen as a disgrace to traditional witches. And of course there was bound to be some disagreements when working with a big group. And despite a few hiccups, everyone was able to come together to put on a convincing parade for the crowd. Little Witch Academia was quite the enjoyable little story. Yes, it’s a root for the underdog kind of story and even though the television series seems to give Akko the short-end of the stick on the magic matter, it’s full-filling to see her accomplish quite a bit. Even if it took her until the final seconds to learn how to fly! I know it’s been about 2-3 years since the ending of the TV series and am wondering if this is it for the franchise. I know there are novels and games out for this, so maybe one day.

But I do give a recommendation for those into witches, magic, and all that good stuff! It's full of fun characters, there's no harm in that. Currently, Netflix is the only outlet for this series (in just about every country). But Netflix does carry both the sub and dub (and several other languages). Now then, what’s my next Amazon/Netflix exclusive anime? Nope. You’re watching this.

Rising of the Shield Hero? But isn’t that Crunchyroll or FUNimation? Don’t care. You’re watching this now. But I have a big list of other animes to wat… Tough shit. You’re watching this. You have no choice but to watch a modern Isekai!

[crazyperfectsense]

4/30/20/1

god April was 5 minutes long and I’m going to spend all 5 of them writing this post

this is honestly probably far too personal to put into the public of the internet, and perhaps I’ll take it down before anyone really sees it, but Tumblr is comforting because it is almost a graveyard and the people who remain (who I see in fleeting posts in passing, hi) I trust (or just will not see this because they do not care or the algorithm does not favor long text posts), whereas Facebook is horrifying and Instagram is worse, and this is likely going to be too long to hold anyone’s attention for the whole thing, but I also want to get some notes down for whenever I finally get to talk to my therapist again, so here we go

I woke up at 6:30am naturally (horrifying!), leapt out of bed because I realized how much work I had to do (hate when a nap turns into just...sleep!), and got a text from my dad 15 minutes later that my maternal grandfather was in critical condition, and somehow still managed to do work for the next six hours out of necessity

it briefly brought back flashbacks to 2012, where my dad didn’t tell me for a week that his father died because I had finals my first semester of college, but told me right after he picked me up as we were driving across campus to pick up a friend that we were taking back home, so I had about 3 minutes to compose myself before a 2 hour car ride (horrifying!)

my grandfather died around 1pm, and I had the truly unique (horrifying! ! ! !) experience of finding out via text while I was on a Zoom call as the TA, where I was the only person sharing video other than the professor (my advisor!), and I had to keep my composure while simultaneously finishing creating the homework that I was behind on making while also trying to figure out what to respond to this text notification of mortality, because I don’t know how to say any sort of condolence really in Chinese, but my dad was handling communications and just texting in English anyway — and I don’t know, it’s the kind of thing where I probably could’ve ditched the call and made excuses later, but the effort to preserve even the slightest tinge of normalcy in this moment seemed right, and I did my very best (and succeeded!) to not spontaneously burst into tears on camera, even though I did about 0.03 seconds after I hung up

an aside: thank god that my advisor was sharing screen and people were hopefully focused on him / in speaker mode or something, because my neutral face is....poor! not entirely sure because I avoided making eye contact with my virtual self aside from brief checks to make sure that I was still alive, still functioning as I flickered from screen to screen across my two monitors

I had a meeting scheduled with my advisor afterwards, and he was all ready to move into it, but was so extremely understanding the second he saw my message I had sent 50 min earlier that was effectively “can we push this back a bit because my grandfather died and I need to call my fam lol” and suggested (as any normal person with emotions would) that I take the time to formally postpone and regroup if needed (needed!) rather than just pushing back a half hour or so like I naively thought would work

I had to desperately cry for about 20 minutes (horrifying!) before I felt ready to call my family, even so 

I hate hearing my mom sad! it’s the fucking worst! but it was a relief for 2 seconds to exist over a phone line with someone who also couldn’t talk straight without needing to take a few gasping breaths

another aside: i didn’t write about this in February because, well, everything was on fire in my life already, so briefly: my mom was supposed to be in China through mid-March, having gone there in October. things obviously went to shit, given *gestures at COVID-19 and the world*, and we booked her an early return flight, given that the senior living facility my grandparents were in had already closed to visitors out of precaution. my brother, dad, and I collectively freaked the fuck out (my brother started crying in the middle of class and had to leave, I barely held it together in mine but paid negative attention) when flights back from China started getting cancelled (and for those like, terrifying few hours where Trump was going to ban foreign nationals since my mom’s not a citizen and they didn’t make it clear that immediate family of US citizens were fine), but we somehow made it happen

so, back to the phone call: I just let her talk and she had so many regrets about leaving China when she did, and it just made me feel like the shittiest person for wanting her back home in America when it deprived her of the chance to see her dad one more time. my uncle and mom luckily got to take my grandparents out of the senior home for one night to celebrate Chinese New Year the day before the facility closed to visitors, so they had one last dinner together as a family but thinking about the what ifs makes me want to cry all over again. my mom just kept saying how she wished she could’ve done more, how she wished they had gone to the hospital earlier for a check-up, and the most I could helplessly contribute was “coronavirus concerns were already rampant and it could have been even worse, given airborne contagion,” even if I said as many other things as I could, about how dialysis was painful as hell and my grandfather, the former doctor, said he didn’t even want to be in the ICU at the end years before his passing

I learned what the Chinese words were for “depression” today, when my mom said my grandfather said he had it and they had gotten him some medication for it a few months ago, and I was so stunned that it was “depression” and not some strange disease I was unfamiliar with that I couldn’t say anything for 30 seconds, and I can’t really write more on this point because I will just start crying, but perhaps I should really think about how aging research is largely focused on non-Asian populations and how perhaps, I’m uniquely equipped to contribute a bit to the field here (but, that is true for so many things, and I am tired!)

my grandfather was great. he was quiet, but stubborn as hell. he was a doctor, and he loved routine. he cared so, fucking, much about me and my brother. he always insisted on taking my brother and me on walks to the same few places that he liked to visit — I remember visiting this community center that had a ping pong table — and him going out of his way to find me internet access, since my grandparents’ apartment didn’t have it for most of the years I visited. he loved taking me and my brother to KFC, because he thought it was the height of Americanized cuisine in China, and was so proud of how much better it was than American KFC (which he hadn’t had, but he knew, and he was right. we would eat every single bite of a two-piece meal each. even the ketchup was better). he once cut out a newspaper clipping ranking UT as the #2 college on this huge list of colleges (I think it was referring to research endowments, but anyway) and saved it to show me almost a year later. he told me in 2013 that he would probably live to see me finish college, and he lived to see me two years into grad school, dying when I was halfway through year three. he was 89. I loved him so much, even if we didn’t get to talk much at all.

I’m so mad at all these fucking people who, in the land of the free and the home of the so-called brave, are being idiots in this time and not social distancing. I’m so mad at every single friend who posts a large or small gathering to their story, at everyone who is so thirsty for social connection that they’re willing to put everyone they’re in close contact with at risk to hang out with another person for just a few hours (horrifying!). humans are social creatures who need engagement and connection to live — having written 22 pages about health and social relationships across 12 hours a few weeks ago, I understand this point so saliently that it’s painful. but seeing such....levity when my mom is crying over not being able to even go back to China to properly say goodbye because they won’t admit anyone from the US (and the US has banned travel to China, like that was necessary in this xenophobic environment) makes me want to punch a wall. suck it up! call your friends over Zoom or FaceTime like the goddamn rest of us!

grief is so strange, and grief is encapsulated in every molecule of this new normal — the strangeness of missing the life that once was, even if the past wasn’t something that I thought I’d miss. I remember feeling so, so guilty for traveling twice in February because of the studying for comps that I should’ve been doing, and now I marvel at my foresight. (and have so many regrets for the people who I told “I’ll see you in April when I’m back after comps are done!!”

I’m in this weird spot where I feel like I’m screaming at the people around me to care, and all of them are too busy with different social ties, and I’m watching my connections wilt and fray because everyone thinks I’m so stable and put-together (or boring and shy?)

an example: I was left off of a reunion Zoom call with some people I worked with in college that was widely talked about on social media regarding “love having shared all this time with these strong women” and all, and it felt very, idk, selfish and whiny (horrifying) to be like “how can you call this feminism when I, a real woman, am being left out of this call”! the following exchange, about the above, happened with in a group chat with a very blunt friend:

D: “Also, how does it feel to be left out of that [organization] Women zoom call, Amy?” another aside: (this....was a stupid question. but we’ll allow it, because boys will be boys.) me: “lol it honestly hurt my feelings but it's not like they weren't cliquey from the very beginning ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ to be expected I suppose” D: “Yeah when I saw that I was like “Why didn’t include Amy, she was there at the same time as they were”” me: “LOL thanks for thinking of me 🥺 they clearly did not”

(the other friend staying quiet, because it was tangibly awkward, even if I tried to play it chill, but my feelings remain hurt) perhaps if I cared more, or wanted to try and make people feel bad, I would’ve replied to a story with “tfti”, or laughed, or heart-reacted, or something “casual” that still implicates “where was my invite”, but....is it even worth investing the hurt and care and time when I’m not even sure it would spark embarrassment on their end? because perhaps they intentionally just do not...care about me and my feelings? at all? (horrifying?)

(I already know this to be true, even if the snub was unintentional, but I needed to muse about it anyway)

another aside: I still talk with plenty of people from this organization who I am MUCH closer with, and I shouldn’t feel snubbed to be snubbed by people who I never felt too close with in the first place! (and yet! horrifying!)

sent an extremely passive aggressive message earlier and yet, K tells me that the people in the chat might not even read it as passive aggressive! (horrifying!)

god. I don’t know! I feel so much sadness and anger, and yet still have a few hours of work to do tonight. it’s wild that even today, where my heart just hurts every few seconds if I think too hard, I still have my mind centered in needing to be productive and not lazy because I’ve already spent too much time procrastinating on my work (horrifying!). but the work is about Asian American collective action / media production, and I feel good about it, and I’m working with some badass Asian women, and I really hope it lands in this flagship journal, because that would be a win, and I kind of just need one! 

oh if it’s not clear I finished comps and I don’t know if I passed yet but they’re done so...that’s something

also whoever fucking looked at Chicago style citations and thought “oh hmm, let’s make another type of Chicago style that is DIFFERENT and call it Chicago style documentation” is the literal fucking devil

ok this is enough for now bye. god this was long. (horrifying!!!!!!)

[brazil-also-loves-rwby]

To move on 5 - RWBY FANFIC

Hello everyone. This is my fanfic Para Seguir Em Frente. I translated it because I received many visits from countries with English language. MY ENGLISH IS BAD AND YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Please comment. Originaly posted here https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13256016/1/To-move-on

Late at night, Oscar finally came home, tired after a long day at work. His body and aura were spent after a whole day practicing and demonstrating different uses of magic. He crawled upstairs, noting that Aunt May was not in her room. Exhausted, he took a moment to remember that she would spend the night at her boyfriend's house, Beryl Willow. This meant there was no food waiting for him in the fridge and he would have to get his own dinner. Sighing, Oscar placed an order for a nearby restaurant through his scroll while the tub was filled. Soon he sank into the hot water of the bath and allowed himself to relax as his mind wandered.

Six months have passed since the end of the Great War. Autumn came and went, giving way to the cold of winter. Still, Remnant never stopped. Destroyed buildings were repaired and new buildings rose every day. The academys themselves and their huge campus were already more than halfway to their old glory. Houses that lost their former owners in the war now accommodated new families in the face of a strong migration from the outside into the realms.

Oscar himself settled into his position as an academic professor of Magic. His first students returned to their kingdoms, but were immediately replaced by others. Every day they wrote theses about their discoveries of magic. They wrote schoolbooks for future classes that would be compulsory in public education and preparing new teachers.

Even magic was beginning to settle in people's lives. Oscar saw few chimneys spewing smoke, for magical fire had become a common practice. Some workers, on the docks or buildings, carried large loads in the air with ease. Little by little the world adapted to the new way of life.

But accustomed did not mean comfortable. Oscar had imagined that his popularity and his friends would fall over time, but he could not be more wrong. He was often invited (almost pressed) to attend interviews and talk shows. Jaune was stamped on the packaging of a morning cereal and Yang in energy drink commercials. Weiss had become the propaganda girl of her county, being invited to be the face of informational commercials related to magic.

It was a normal life, with daily highs and lows, and yet Oscar felt himself living in a Utopia. For years he doubted that these days of peace would come. He was so sure that he would be one more of Ozma's souls, and to his surprise, he became the last. His sleepy mind wandered into those dark days, sinking into memories.

- Ozpin, how exactly our souls are going to 'combine'?

Oscar admired the view of Atlas, protected from the cold wind that roared outside through the window. It was late at night and everyone was asleep. Only he remained awake, his mind too filled with doubts and insecurities to be able to rest in peace. Then he'd descended into the living room, where he would not disturb his roommates with their mental conversations.

In those moments Oscar could almost see Ospin in his reflection in the glass. His expressions, his moods and even his mental voice became more obvious, more different from his own.

- Like I said, it's a long, exhausting process. - Ozpin said with a resigned, sad sigh.

- But how exactly does it work? - Oscar pressed. Both remained tense for a long moment, while Ozpin chose the words he wanted to say.

- The process of integration begins the moment I reincarnate. The beginning is always the same: fear, doubts, constant concern for one's own sanity. Fortunately, we did not take long in this situation. There was a person, centuries ago, that I could never convince him that he was not crazy. He was completely convinced that some grimm had possessed him. - Oscar trembled at the memories that Ozpin let slip along with those words. - It was dark times. It was believed that discipline and self-flagellation could purge the body of evil and prevent grimms from approaching. I tried to stop him several times from hurting us, but one day he went too far and I was reincarnated again.

- I'm so sorry. - Oscar murmured.

- It was a long time ago, but thank you anyway. - Ozpin made the equivalent of a mental cough to compose himself and continued. - After that, we've reached the 'recognition' phase, so to speak. That's where we are now. We learn about each other. Our desires, dreams and goals, as well as our likes, dislikes and mannerisms. At some point, we will have learned everything we could over each other and our conversations have become less and less frequent. It will not be necessary to ask, for we will already know exactly how the other feels.

- That does not sound too bad. What next? - Ozpin sighed.

- It is at that moment that the assimilation begins. Because our minds are so similar, we end up deciding the same thing without thinking. Our tastes stop colliding: if you do not like coffee, but I absolutely love coffee, over time the stronger feeling will prevail and you would feel my satisfaction in drinking coffee instead of your own distaste. Barriers begin to become thinner and we begin to find it difficult to define where one begins and another ends. - Oscar swallowed, but Ozpin kept talking. - When someone calls your name, I answer the call. The 'you' becomes 'us' in time and then 'we' becomes 'I'. Who controls the body becomes irrelevant, since both would use it in the same way.

- I understand. - Oscar leaned his head against the glass, letting the cold cool his skin. - I always imagined that I would just ... disappear. But now I understand that when you reincarnate again, part of my personality will continue to permeate you.

- Yes. - Ozpin agreed. - I have always reincarnated in similar minds, as the god of light has established, but this does not mean they are same. Like Ozma, I've been a lot more foolish. Like Oswald, I've been completely in love with Remnant's women's love, like Osborne ...

- Wait. - Oscar interrupted, physically spreading his hands so that Ozpin held the reins of the conversation. - You were a casanova?

- Oswald was VERY attached not only to the pleasures of the flesh, but to the adventure of conquering a lady and causing her to fall in love with him. I believe it was the only time I could describe one of my companions as a narcissist. - Ozpin sounded exasperated, and that made Oscar laugh. - I was no stranger to being described as 'gallant' or 'gentleman,' but that was too much. This trait of Oswald was so strong that I think it took another two reincarnations to finally be able to look at a huntress wearing a short skirt without immediately being plagued by libidinous thoughts.

Oscar even pulled the air to question what he meant, just to hear Ozpin's measured and indignant response and have fun with it. But Ozpin's indignation was enough to make his memory grow. Oscar remembered what it was like to be sitting next to a woman close enough to feel the heat of her skin. The euphoria of imagining what kind of expression that stern woman would look at him if he slid his hand under the table and squeezed the firm, soft flesh of her white thigh ...

- Were you THAT kind of guy?! - Oscar exclaimed, suddenly surprised and shamefully excited by the feelings and sensations that the memory passed to him. Adolescents, after all, are easily 'impressionable'. - Thank the gods that you could curb that kind of thinking.

- I could curb that kind of thinking in my next incarnations. Ozpin corrected. Oscar could feel that he was as uncomfortable as himself. - But Oswald was not a man that just think.

- Please do not tell me he really did it...

This time Ozpin purposely pushed the memory back to Oscar. The red and astonished face of a beautiful blonde woman, twisted in fury and outrage. The memory had a sense of satisfaction and victory to take such expression from such a cold woman.

- I hope you guys got a pretty slap for it. - Oscar shook his head.

- A punch, actually. Followed by several others, I must add. This little event gave me control over our body for several weeks, since I refused to talk to Oswald for a few days because of it.

Oscar laughed and they remained in a comfortable feeling for a few moments. But soon Oscar felt that Ozpin was restless. He waited, knowing that soon the former director would say what he had in mind.

- I was analyzing our situation. He finally said carefully. - Integration should have begun, at least in its early stages, but it is not our case. We understand each other, but our thoughts and feelings remain apart most of the time. Personal.

- And you think you know why.

- Yes. Look, never before have so many people at the same time learned of my reincarnation, and few of those who knew have done so before the integration took place. Miss Rose ... - Oscar was startled by the mention of Ruby in the matter. - became careful to refer to both of us and this habit spread to all others.

- You're right. Everyone says 'Good morning Oscar, Ozpin' in the morning. I remember one morning when she was responsible for making breakfast and she handed us a cup of coffee with milk. She said 'I know you do not like Oscar coffee, so I prepared it with milk ...'

- 'So you and Ozpin can reach a middle ground'. - Ozpin completed mentally. - That's exactly the point of my theory. We are constantly being treated as different people, so it is more difficult for our emotions to blend. For example, strong emotions such as admiration and affection would be the first to 'leak' and begin to affect me, but you are managing to keep them almost completely away from me.

- What do you mean by that? - Oscar asked, feeling his own face warm and Ozpin's low-pitched laughter echoed in his head.

"I meant, by my calculations, we do not have to worry about it in the near future.

Oscar awoke from his memories and stepped out of the cold water from the tub. In the end, they never had to worry about losing their identities. Ozpin's memories became his over the years, but even the feelings being so vivid, they never felt as belonging to him. Even if weakened, the barrier that defined the boundaries between Oscar and Ozpin never fell.

The doorbell rang downstairs as Oscar dried, so he just slipped his legs into pajama bottoms and walked downstairs with the towel over his shoulders, still thinking. There was no doubt that Ruby was responsible for remaining faithful to who he was. Whether she treated him as an individual or the fact that he himself so fiercely guarded his feelings for her against Ozpin. Those teenage feelings that had just matured over the years were the one thing Oscar would never share with anyone.

Opening the door, Oscar almost fell back in surprise. Instead of the deliverer a semi frozen Ruby Rose was standing on its mat. She had snow trapped in her hood, sad eyes and a forced smile on her face that made Oscar's heart sink into his chest.

- Hey, Oscar.

[theficpusher]

i'll take your pain by suspendrs | nr | 2212 It’s kind of romantic when Harry thinks about it, feeling all the pain of the person he’s supposed to love for the rest of his life. Sure, it’s rather inconvenient when he’s in class and his soulmate gets kicked in the balls, or when he’s sleeping and his soulmate knocks his head or his knee off something. It’d be nice if the function helped them to find each other, but Harry supposes he can live with knowing that they’re destined to run into each other someday. Or, soulmates have the ability to feel each other's pain, and Harry finds his after getting his arse waxed. (Or, the soulmate au crack fic I can't believe I actually wrote.)

Don't Talk Dirty to Me by Miadotfi | E | 2480 “So what’s wrong, Nan? Why did you call?” “Oh, I was just explaining it to Harry. Come in, darlings, let me show you my glory hole.” Louis’ entire life flashes before his eyes. He certainly didn’t hear right. His Grandmother didn’t just say “glory hole”. He steals a glance at Harry to see if he heard it too. Harry just keeps smiling. AKA The Glory Hole Fic

On the go by phdmama | T | 2734 From this post because I could not resist.

For the Love of Honey by LadyLondonderry | G | 2874 Louis looks like he's going to topple over, arms filled with planks and mesh. "What's this for?" Liam asks, rushing to take the weight away before Louis hurts himself. "The bees, Liam!" Louis motions vaguely around himself to where there are definitely no bees. Liam frowns. His large fuzzy eyebrows (good landing spots for bees) furrowing. "There are no bees here, Louis." "Not yet, there's not."

pink skin by jaerie | E | 4327 “Yes well, do you have an appointment-available-for-anal-bleaching,” he rushed the last part out, the words blending together in a nervous string. Louis paused for a moment before bursting into laughter that made tears collect at the corner of his eyes. “Is this a joke?” he asked through his laughter, “Did Niall put you up to this?” He was nearly doubled over on the couch, that certainly was original. “Um…” his laughter cut off abruptly when the voice on the other end seemed serious. “Isn’t this Adeeva spa…?” “Oh god, no, I’m sorry for laughing. I think you have the wrong number mate.” Or Harry is a camboy trying out something new and Louis ends up on the other end of the line

That's How I Know by allwaswell16 | E | 19798 Louis Tomlinson has just landed his dream job, coaching soccer at Augustus University. When he moves into a new house near campus, he meets his very fit new neighbor, English professor Harry Styles. Although their first meeting leads to an instant mutual dislike, the more Harry gets to know Louis, the more he likes what he sees. Or the one where Harry’s African grey parrot spills his dirty secrets to his very hot neighbor.

Ain't That A Kick In The Head! by lesbianharrie and wreckingtomlinson | T | 22432 “Well.” Niall unlocks his phone. “It wasn’t getting the traction I wanted on Snapchat. So…I tweeted it.” What. “You tweeted it,” Harry states, nearing a state of brain dead. “To your ten thousand followers.” Niall nods, handing Harry the phone. “You’re a meme, Harry.” “I’m a what?” “A meme. It’s like an internet—” “I know what a fucking meme is, Niall! Why did you make me into one?” Niall has the fucking balls to cackle at that while Harry looks at the mess his former friend created. Videos of him screaming at Tomlinson about Tide Pods and his ass are being quoted and combined with memes to a create a level of memeception Harry has never seen before. That isn’t even including the thousands of tweets of him falling up the stairs remixed with random Top 40 songs. ~ In which Harry’s a disaster gay who doesn’t know shit about soccer, Liam drinks too many blue raspberry Coolattas, Niall knows everyone, Zayn looks dead, and Louis is Not Happy about sharing his breakout moment with “Drunk Hawaiian Guy.”

If You Asked Me If I Love Him (I'd Lie) by allyasavedtheday | M | 26694 So Harry and Louis might have fucked up. The day of their wedding was the single most perfect moment of Louis’ life and every single day since where he’s been able to call Harry his husband has been nothing short of bliss. There’s just one teeny, tiny problem… Their families don’t know they’re married. * Or the one where Harry and Louis eloped but neglected to mention it to anyone. Meanwhile Lottie is getting married and the only way for them to not steal her thunder is by pretending they're just friends for the weekend. Featuring Harry and Louis as terrible liars who don't know the meaning of the word platonic and some Tomlinsons and Styles's who definitely don't believe them.