#only for the story and its structure to grow past (and/or drop) them and mature into something special - which i'm glad she did!

[fluffi]

SARCOLINE SUNSET I: WELCOME HOME, OUTSIDER :: SOOBIN

pairing: soobin x gn!reader, platonic!ot5 x gn!reader genre: fluff, some subjective angst, bits of humor, enemies-to-lovers, childhood friends word count: 4002 event: #summerscape for @kpopscape credit: @enha-woodzies​ for making the gfx for this series! show her some love <3 author’s note: i accidentally deleted this post so here is a rushed reupload. it might not be as good as the original because it isnt proof read as well but i still hope the algorithm picks it up, maybe this’ll be good for the post. Also, the second part will be coming out in 15 days. warnings: people disappearing, mentions of burning and fire (further warnings will be released in the next parts as the story gets darker)

THIS STORY IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION AND DOES NOT DICTATE JAY OR NI-KI’S PERSONAL LIVES AND/OR FAMILY.

part two ->

The blonde stared up at an intricately designed structure in awe, walking forward to touch the sides of it and running his calloused hands up and down its rusted carved wedges. It seemed oddly cliche and unrealistic, but he could feel its story. Every touch of the ceramic pillar provided him with emotion that he couldn’t bring himself to explain.

The sun hadn’t set yet, but he could make out the faint reflection of it settling in the background. The huge pine trees around him were making conversation with each other; their faint whispers and rustles providing peace to his veins.

So entranced in the scenery of such a mystical place, he forgot to watch out for his younger peer. Kicking back into his senses, he nervously called out, “Riki! You there?” His voice, usually strong and boisterous, laced fear today.

“Don’t worry about me Jay, I’m right behind you. Just climbing this fence..and..there!” Riki let out a grunt as he jumped onto the soft grass, looking at his older friend with an innocent grin.

At the sight of his buddy, Jay visibly loosened. It was clear that he didn’t feel safe in this environment, yet felt entranced to it in some way. Riki caught up to him in a quick jog before standing next to Jay, in awe at the magnificent view that they were spectating for the first and possibly last time.

“Is this…the place you were talking about?” Riki was out of breath from running after his peer. He pats the grassy patch below him before slumping onto it, crossing his legs afterward.

Jay took a seat next to him, setting his canvas satchel and leather jacket next to him. “According to the maps and books, this is the right spot. I just want to see if the myth is true.”

Riki clapped his hands in excitement and turned to face Jay. “We’re staying till the sun sets right? I want to see what the carousel looks like at night! This structure is so fascinating. It must be beautiful out here at night.”

“No, we’re walking back as soon as the sun goes down. I do not want to risk being out here at night. People have disappeared from staying too long and I wouldn’t want to worry your mother.”

Riki visibly slumped and turned back in time to see the last drop of orange dip. It was quiet for a while. The singing birds stopped humming their soulful tunes, yet the whispering trees grew louder, their inaudible gossip echoing in the ears of the two boys.

At nine at night, Riki’s mother would call Jay, heeding no response. She would do the same for his parents and his friends. The only piece of information they could provide was that Jay had brought Riki, in his words, to “a magical place”. With no other vital details they could draw from their son’s peers, Jay and Riki’s family agree to call the local police, reporting two missing people: two minors, one last seen in a brown leather jacket, and a taller one tailing alongside him. Both their hairs were dyed in a striking shade of blonde.

Summer’s heat-blasted onto your skin as soon as you stepped out of your sleek white Toyota. It was good to be back, you supposed. Although it was something that not many people would fawn over, you were ecstatic to be home in town.

Leaving at the mere age of sixteen wasn’t easy. After your parents decided that you were too good for a mediocre high school where people cared more about their body count than grade count, they immediately sent you off to a prestigious boarding school in the big city. You were given three days to pack and say goodbye to your friends, the rest of your family, your world. As excited as you were to study in the evolutionary epicenter of technology, you didn’t like how you had almost no say in this decision.

You didn’t return home from high school even after four years of studying at that mentally draining institution. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to come back, you were just so accustomed to life in the big city that it seemed pointless to return to square one. With the rest of the world finally in your grip (or so you thought), you enrolled in a highly expensive university and received a full-ride scholarship.

Perhaps that was your breaking point. Piles of work that could never be cleared must’ve got to your head. No one out there seemed to care about your mental health and well-being. The only reason you were allowed to take a break from the university and return was because of your constant breakdowns that your lecturers called “distracting” and “unethical”. You were hoping that this drop-by in town would give you a physical and mental cleanse.

There was no place as hot as home, from where you had been. The blazing sun scorched onto the road. Carrying baggage by itself was already hard enough, but this heat was immensely torturing. You struggled to carry your belongings while trying to close the car boot at the same time. Oh, a pity. You had just returned home and you were slowly turning into a bundle of disorganization, unlike your previous methodical attitude.

“Need a hand?” A familiar suede voice behind your shoulder sounded like music to your ears as you dropped all of your luggage and turned back to see…

“Taehyun!” Child best friend number one. You were looking at a once-innocent boy with doe eyes who had matured into a fine young man. His hair was dyed platinum blonde and, although younger than you, possessed a flair that was completely unlike his past self. His facial features were more prominent than ever and you wondered if all of your friends had developed as well as he had.

You locked your arms around his neck and embraced him as he took your baggage from you.

“You’re so tall now!” You gasped in awe and looked him up and down.

“Of course I am! A boy has to grow, doesn’t he?”

Speak of the devil(s), four people tagged behind Taehyun, waiting for you to notice their presence. All of them were just as tall (if not taller) than your blonde friend and stood out like a sore thumb. It wasn’t just the height, their hair was also in very...exciting colors.

“Can’t believe you forgot about us just for Taehyun.” Ah, that nasal voice was so recognizable. Choi Yeonjun, second-best friend. You cherished him like he was your secret weapon, a power waiting to be unleashed into your industrial world. Although older than Taehyun, they seemed to be the same height now. You couldn’t tell because his new neon pink hair was waxed slick and puffy which made him look a teensy bit taller than his younger friend. You had seen him around on social media and he was a hair-changing chameleon.

Alongside Yeonjun was Hueningkai, better known as Kai in the friend group. He was the youngest one, constantly babied and spoiled, you could say. He was probably influenced by the rest of his friends too, his hair now in a mossy shade of blonde. 

Poor Yeonjun, you completely disregarded his existence and dashed over to Kai instead, eagerly standing next to him to compare heights. The kid had grown so much, you couldn’t tell if you were contented that he was now taller than you or dejected that you had missed so much when you weren’t around.

“Hey, wait up!” Someone from behind called. With Hueningkai and Yeonjun blocking your view you couldn’t see who that one person walking next to Choi Beomgyu was.

Beomgyu, the last friend who joined the friend group. He was always a comedian and never failed to make your day. Although, he didn’t seem so smiley anymore. You figured that it was school stress and adulting getting the best of him. We all had those days; you regrettably knew them like you knew the back of your hand . Unlike the rest of his friends, Beomgyu’s hair was kept in a natural shade of ivory brown. He had never been swayed by the rest of the crowd.

There were so many things to do, so many people to see. You had missed out on most of your growing: having fun with friends, staying up late at night just to watch the stars, dancing on your balcony. You had missed the people too. The town felt different from when you had left it.

“Soobin! Don’t just stand behind, meet our friend! They just returned from the city, right?” Beomgyu ran over to you before giving you a little squeeze.

Who’s Soobin?

“Hey, I’m Choi Soobin. Twenty-one this year. I moved here a few years ago. You must have left before I showed up.” A simple and concise introduction from the blue-haired man. Maybe he was the root of this hair-dyeing trend in town (pun very much intended), as well as the height trend since he was just as tall, if not taller than the rest of the boys.

You briefly introduced yourself but that was about it. You didn’t know how to create small talk, nonetheless with someone completely unfamiliar to you.

Later that day, you wondered if he had replaced you, become another guardian in the friend group. As one of the oldest, you and Yeonjun were always known as the parents of your three “kids”, but Soobin seemed to take care of them equally well. Throughout the day, you watched his every action, how he helped Beomgyu with homework, how he styled Kai’s hair, how he treated Taehyun to his favorite meal, exactly like what you did when you were still around. For once, you felt like the outsider.

Marshmallow Night had always been a tradition here. It was a five-of-you kind of thing, well, the six-of-you now. It had always been the go-to celebration whenever one of you hit a milestone, or was just held for fun. The days of joy where the only thing you had to worry about was whether your smores were burnt.

It had changed a lot over the years, you guys would add some new events to it and remove the ones you guys outgrew, like hopscotch.

You had missed most of its evolution.

Instead of being the main catalyst for today’s event, you resorted to sitting at the side as Soobin took the lead, carrying tables back and forth as well as setting up the fire in a method that the five of you had never used.

Oh, how much you loathed him. You hated his innocent-looking face that spurred out words of authority and boastfulness. You couldn’t stand how he looked so obnoxious with his bright blue hair, his dark brown eyes that held an impeccable gleam. He looked so cheeky, so mean, and worst of all, he had made all of your friends convert to mini spawns of him. Even Yeonjun, the oldest member, no longer felt like the Choi Yeonjun you once knew.

If you could, you would throw him out of your hometown, except that you seemed to be the outsider here. Anyone who walked past would see five people sitting on a huge log, helping each other light marshmallows and biscuits. They would barely notice the one person hunched over on the other side, sitting on the ground, eyes dazed and uninterested.

Occasionally one of the boys would call out to you, either hand you a s’more or ask if you were alright, to which you responded, “I’m alright! Don’t worry about me, I’m having fun.”

Anyone could also see that you weren’t in the zone, but you didn’t want to ruin the moment and be a party pooper. You ended up spending most of the time scrolling on your phone, checking school emails, and such. It didn’t feel like you were back home, it felt like you were on a vacation, on your own.

The commotion had died down, for the most part. Everyone else was either discussing school gossip in hushed voices or making the most of use of their electronic device. You were tempted to join the little heated conversation that Soobin and Beomgyu were having, but you didn’t know who this ‘Chaeyeon’ girl was and either way, you wouldn’t want to voluntarily speak to Choi Soobin.

It wasn’t long before both of them went to do something else, the only sound prevalent being the wood crackling from the bonfire and the occasional chirp of evening birds.

It was a loud, sucked-in breath that drew the attention of everyone, eyes pinned onto the instigator.

Choi Soobin, once again disrupting the peace of this curated environment. He ducked his head in apology and you were about to return to your world when Kai’s curiosity got the best of him.

“Why did you just do that?” His booming voice resounded over everyone else.

You weren’t going to lie, you were curious too. It wasn’t every day you heard a gasp like that.

Soobin looked back up, eyes wide and awake. He was excited about something but seemed to be masking it for the sake of..suspense?

“Okay. You guys know Yongsam Park right?” He put his phone down and tapped his hands on his thighs in a state of urgency.

Now that statement got everyone’s attention. “It’s the flower place outside our town, everyone passes it when they enter. Of course we would know where the place is. Why are you so adamant about it?” Taehyun inquired.

“Well, have any of you gone inside the park? Or near the landmark in general?”

“No. Why would we? There’s nothing to do there than to take pictures of boring flower statues.” You stated.

“See. You guys don’t know anything about the place.” He smirked tilting his head upwards and proudly crossing his arms.

“Could you cut to the chase and tell us what it is already?” Thank Yeonjun for his smart, impatient mouth.

Soobin didn’t answer and merely flipped his phone so you could see whatever was on it. The only words you could make out were “Yongsam...missing...carnival” and something related to the park before he turned it back, away from your view.

“You can’t just say that we don’t know anything about this place then proceed to give us nothing about it.” You rolled your eyes, disinterested in the conversation once again.

“Fine. I’ll send it to you.” Soobin rolled his eyes back as four of the other boys snickered. They loved seeing the two of you bicker.

In courtesy of Beomgyu who gave Soobin your number (without your consent), you received a news article and skimmed through it with eager eyes:

[WHAT’S THE HYBE?]

YONGSAM PARK CURRENTLY UNDER INVESTIGATION, AUTHORITIES SAY 3 days ago

What’s the deal with Yongsam Park? Insiders say that, although bland and boring, Yongsam Park is currently under high-level investigation for the disappearance of a few citizens. The flower-decorated park is the perfect place to take Instagram-worthy pictures and is quite harmless in itself, so visitors were shocked to arrive at the park only to find it surrounded by heaps of yellow tape.

Yongsam Park was developed by Kim Yongsam, director of My Flowers, a multi-million florist franchise that has now spread to Japan and Taiwan. In a 2015 Interview with the millionaire, he mentioned that he had created the park in the inspiration of the rising ootd picture trend, also known as the outfit-of-the-day trend, which he had initially discovered from his teen daughter. 

“I wanted to create a welcoming park for people of all ages, but I couldn’t find a suitable place to do it without the budget being drastically high. In the end, my team and I found an abandoned site and decided to build a simple structure with lower costs up there. Props to my team for the discovery of this landmark. The scenery there, especially in the evening, is stunning .” He stated in the 2015 interview with Soup Magazine.

What’s the abandoned site? With the evidence that is still standing, Yongsam Park is rumored to have previously been a carnival. Said evidence is a worn-down carousel in the back of the park, along with piles of other burnt carnival decoration and equipment. With research, Yongsam Park’s site may have once been an abandoned carnival that perished from an unknown wildfire. This may have been the primary cause of the drought that ensued in the 80s, leaving only a carousel and ashes behind. When questioned, Mr. Kim said that he had decided to leave the carousel standing behind the park due because he felt ‘drawn by its alluring glow’, as quoted.

Investigators and the local police have only enclosed the flower section of Yongsam Park because that was where the victims were spotted. They believe that disappearances took place there and are currently trying to find evidence to back up their stance. Most of this new information is not known to the public, however, Kim and his team are trying to keep it that way. The current disappearance count is seven people, the most recent case being two high-schoolers.

The carousel is still open and does not require a visitor ticket, but visitors are advised to take precautions and leave before the sun sets.

RELATED

TWO MORE BOYS HAVE DISAPPEARED AT THE NOW INFAMOUS YONGSAM PARK 5 days ago

FAMILY OF TOURISTS DISAPPEAR AT YONGSAM PARK, INSIDERS SAY THIS IS THE SECOND CASE OF DISAPPEARANCE HERE 2 weeks ago

JAPANESE COUPLE DISAPPEAR AT FLOWER PARK, NETIZENS CALL THE NEWS A POLITICAL DISTRACTION 3 weeks ago

“Are you seriously...telling us...that we should visit a place where people have been kidnapped?” Yeonjun gawked. “Dude, that’s so stupid. What if we die or something?”

“Don’t say that! I was just curious if you guys wanted to go since it’s so near and since your old friend is back home.”

“It’s a dumb move. I’m not risking my life just so I can celebrate the return of my friend. Not worth it.” Beomgyu huffed.

“Hey! You’re worth it, right?” Soobin glanced at you, waiting for a response.

He was...defending you? His ulterior motives were questionable and you weren’t sure if he was protecting you because he cared about you (cue the puking) or solely because he wanted to go to Yongsam Park that bad.

You didn’t reply and chose to drown out the wailing and chaos that ensued with your friends. You clicked on a related article below, curious to learn more about this lesser-known part of the park.

[WHAT’S THE HYBE?]

TWO MORE BOYS HAVE DISAPPEARED AT THE NOW INFAMOUS YONGSAM PARK 5 days ago

Park Jongseong (20) and Nishimura Riki (15) mentioned to their friends that they would be heading to ‘a magical place’, before disappearing for around a week. They were last spotted walking through Yongsam Park, according to anonymous witnesses. This is the third case of disappearances at the park and both teens are the sixth and seventh people to go missing.

Both families reported their children missing just two days after their disappearance. With this case being the last straw, local authorities forcibly shut down Yongsam Park despite protests from staff and management.

Parents of the two minors refused to respond when called for an interview and HYBE reporters resorted to interviewing the victims’ friends instead.

“Jay’s never been a bad kid. Yeah, he might be late here and there, but he wouldn’t skip class or fly across the country for vacation during school. I just don’t understand why he’s not here with us. He wouldn’t voluntarily disappear.” Park Sunghoon (19), a friend and classmate of Jongseong (who is better known as Jay among his friends) said.

“Although I’m not close with Jay, I know Riki personally and I know for a fact that both of them wouldn’t run away like that. Why, Riki was gearing up for a dance competition that he’s been excited about all year, and now he’s just gone? Like that? Riki has always been like my little brother, and he’ll always be. I just want him back at my side.” A teary-eyed Lee Heeseung (20) says.

Netizens have been complaining about the lack of coverage on this issue.

“Maybe Mr. Kim spent all his money on covering this story up from the mainstream public. That’s why he had to build the stupid park on an abandoned sketchy site.” An anonymous netizen commented.

Regardless, we’ll be keeping our prayers for Jongseong and Riki, as well as the five other victims, to return home soon.

“...you guys are such wimps.” That was the first thing you heard Soobin say when you tuned in to the conversation again.

How dare he say that? How dare he have the courage to call you, someone who moved out on your own at 16 to live in the big, scary world, a..wimp?

“Look, Choi Soobin. I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a wimp. I didn’t say that I wasn’t interested on this trip.” You stand up and blurt out without thinking twice.

The rest of the boys are gawking at you, their mouths open wide in awe and shock. Yes, you weren’t a wimp, that was for sure, but they had known you all their life as someone who could not stand going out into the wilderness. Maybe the big city had really changed you.

“At least someone wants to go! Perfect. We can leave tomorrow at noon, bring your camping stuff!” Soobin grabbed his things and began walking away.

“Camping?” The five of you exclaimed in unison.

Taehyun, the rational member, gasped. “I, personally, wouldn’t mind going to the carousel thing..or whatever it is, but I am not staying the night. Dude, are you nuts?” The rest of you nodded your heads in agreement.

“It says in the article that we are advised to leave before the sun sets.” You point out, trying to keep your voice as steady as possible in fear of breaking this mask of false confidence, when in reality, you were terrified of this place.

Soobin turned back and eyed you down disinterestedly. “Conclusion is that we’ll bring a small backpack, or whatever you guys want to pack, and we’ll stay there until eight. Deal?”

“Seven.” Hueningkai timidly said.

“Whatever you guys want.”

You hadn’t been able to sleep last night. It wasn’t due to fear of the place you were going, rather, you weren’t too excited about having to spend half of your day around Soobin.

What were you going to say to him? You were definitely overthinking at this point.

You know, they always say that the person one hates the most is the one that they also love most. And when Soobin flipped his blue hair back or cheekily smiled, showing his endearing dimples, you couldn’t help but…

No! You loathe Choi Soobin. You couldn’t stand his smile, or his hair, or his height. That evil moonwitch.

“Hey, you ready to go?” Speak of the devil (or moonwitch), you spotted a fluff of blue hair in your peripheral vision.

You couldn’t even muster up the courage to look back at him, merely nodding your head while staring at the white wall.

“Why aren’t you looking at me? Are you...scared?” You could see him wiggle his eyebrows as he made that statement.

That was it. You turned back at him. “Yes I am. I’m absolute terrified. I can’t stand the fact that I have to forcibly spend my precious time around you. It’s like I’m about to voluntarily live a nightmare.”

Woah there, calm down. You had smoke spurting out of your ears at this point.

Soobin’s once excited face fell into one of disappointment. “Yeah, it’s a nightmare having to be around you too. Gosh, the immaturity.” He left the room in haste as your eyes shot lasers through his well-toned back.

Maybe you had gone too far with the insult. He hadn’t been mean to you at all, really.

Then again, he had been mean. He took your place when you weren’t around. Suddenly, you were determined to get it back.

“Hop on the magic school bus!”

“Shut up, Yeonjun.” You deadpanned before leaning your head on his shoulder. The two of you were finally falling back into routine and you couldn’t help but bask in this nostalgia.

You also couldn’t help but notice how Soobin kept on looking through the rearview mirror at the both of you, pupils darting away once you locked eyes with him.

Man, this was going to be a long ride.

2021 © fluffi

[my-writings-and-musings]

Idea, a group of young human liaisons (late teen/young adult) join the lost light crew and the different crew members essentially adopts them (any bots of your choice)

That's adorable so absolutely yes! I chose the bots I thought most likely to adopt in any capacity.

Tailgate

·Being amongst the tiniest bots on the ship, and having loved human culture whilst never meeting a human, compounds his excitement at their arrival to nearly critical levels. They're so tiny! They can answer all his earth questions! They can go on missions together and he can show them around the galaxy! His first step is to learn how to tell humans apart and to memorize all their names, as well as anything they find important about themselves, so that way they'll feel welcome.

·During this introduction it's revealed these humans are on the younger side, and his reaction immediately becomes one of shock. You're all still little ones?! Not done growing even?! The explanations that human development is quite different fall on deaf audials; he knows what it's like to be small and new in the galaxy, and he won't let anything hurt these protoforms!

·The liaison team now has a permanent guardian, and they quickly learn that his size doesn't tell his full story. Of course, it doesn't hurt that he's still twice the height of the average human, so calling him "tiny" doesn't make much sense to any of them. Being so much taller is something he absolutely adores experiencing for a change, and that combined with his super strength leads to a lot of piggy back rides for the whole crew.

·If anyone, bot or con or whatever, says a mean word to even one of them he's on the warpath. Think you're a big tough guy, huh?! Picking on his little buddies?! Well, he's not gonna give you a chance to pick on somebody your own size! Unless you offer a heartfelt apology, and if the human in question accepts that, then everything is just fine! But he will punch you if he hears this is recurring!

·The various liaisons start referring to him as their "big brother" and once the meaning of that is explained he's absolutely touched. Him? A part of their family? Movie nights henceforth involve him being surrounded by a group of young humans, just chilling around their adoptive older sibling who happens to be six million years old, and should anyone glance at his visor they'll find it absolutely shining in the dim light.

Ratchet

·Having worked with and studied humans of this age group in the past, he's far less upset and far more worried by their arrival, but he pretends he's merely the former. The truth is that he knows their species is especially vulnerable at this age, and getting the rest of the crew to understand that will be an impossible task, even if he asks them to imagine a delicate protoform taking nearly two decades to mature instead of a few hours and to try and comprehend how much trouble that would be.

·His first step is to establish that he's their doctor, one fully capable of handling human medicine, and he quickly catches the rest of his team up to speed. Every medic needs to be able to meet the needs of every crewmember, and these juvenile humans are part of the crew now, as well as their responsibility for the sake of diplomatic relations... Somehow that last part doesn't stress him out in the slightest.

·These humans will quickly find his gruff to be little more than a personality trait. When he's with a patient, specifically one who's a little frightened, his demeanor rapidly softens just as his touch becomes gentle even to a being quite soft and tiny by comparison. For a species not necessarily accustomed to medical care just... whenever they need it, the young liaisons can't help but like him. His reaction to the fact that most humans can't afford medical care is... a very long sigh.

·His attention to these new patients extends well beyond appointment hours, though he does try not to be overbearing. But he just needs to be certain; are they exercising enough? Does the atmosphere of the ship upset their respiratory systems in any way? Is there any chance the modification to the lighting system was ineffective and they're not getting enough vitamin D? Are they eating all their vegetables?!

·It's impossible for the group to ignore the gigantic alien robot very obviously fretting over them like a mother hen, and thus he often gets a "Yes, mom" in response to his queries from them, but in a good natured way. He huffs at first but their genuine appreciation for his efforts is... well, he'd be lying if he said his actions weren't driven by something more than medical duty. Maybe he's the first Cybertronian with a kind of maternal instinct, who knows? What matters is that his "children" are all safe and healthy, and he certainly doesn't start smiling when "Dr. Mom" becomes what he's listed as in their communication contact list.

Ultra Magnus/Minimus Ambus

·Rodimus agreed to this diplomatic mission despite all his warnings (and pleadings) to say no and find some other way to encourage a good relationship between the species. He has experience with humans, specifically of this exact age range, and while that relationship is one he treasures he's not looking to put any humans in potential danger again. He is, of course, duly ignored and the group is brought on board.

·For the sake of fostering a welcoming and structured environment, he memorizes their names in advance and has them all come to his office for an abridged two hour orientation on the ship and its rules. Knowing they have to be on the move often for neurological development is the only reason he doesn't keep them for a proper five hour orientation. It goes relatively well, but he's less distressed by their lack of attention than he is by how intimidating they seem to find him.

·For some reason this bothers him, no matter how fine he is with bots finding him to be frightening, seeing humans flinch from his presence actually hurts him. So he endeavors to be... friendly! If he earned the nickname "Uncle Magnus" with one human, he can do it again! The best strategy he can think of isn't actually that off base; he'll try to mentor them in their individual pursuits. Dropping down in height whenever he can, typically by getting on a knee to ensure he doesn't tower over them, also proves to be a big help.

·Initially he's determined to keep his Minimus self hidden from them completely, down to the very existence of his split identity. It's less about size, as even his most base form still stands well above the tallest liason, than it is about respect. He wants to be an inspiration to these little ones, and Ultra Magnus is obviously the more impressive of the two. It's only once one particularly affectionate liaison gives him a hug, or more accurately an attempt at one around his offered hand, that he feels compelled to reconsider.

·It makes him nervous for weeks, contemplating the potential fallout of being honest with them, and how it could ruin everything... In the end he blames his own moral compass for forcing him to be honest. He gathers the liaisons together and explains the entirety of his identity in detail, taking all of their questions and praying he won't see any kind of disappointment, before finally removing his armor and "introducing" them to Minimus. The reaction is far from negative. There are exclamations of "botception" and "nesting dolls" in the wild surprise that follows, but nothing that could even be interpreted as dissapoint, and in fact the young humans are only that much more amazed by their "Uncle Minimags". It takes everything he is not to cry.

Swerve

·He knows enough about human culture to have seen that this particular age group tends to party, and is also way more likely to enjoy pop culture, so he's delighted when they join up. Of course he introduces himself, but he doesn't need to mention much more than his bar before he has their full attention and fascination. The Manhattan sized spaceship run by giant alien robots has a bar?! They're all begging to see it and he's so thrilled he forgets he can transform and runs there with them.

·Their amazement only doubles when night comes and they get to see the place in full swing, but he makes sure they're safely seated on the bar itself, to avoid squishing. As always he's able to chat endlessly to these new arrivals, and his knowledge of human culture quite surprises them. Even if there's a fair amount he doesn't know, the fact that he's aware of anything at all shocks them.

·The rush to get him caught up is a shared effort between the liaisons. Does he know what social media is? Would he like to have an account? For once he's the overwhelmed one and he has to work to keep up with everything they give him, but the attention and genuine interest these little humans have in his thoughts and experiences is... it's a good thing he's got some help around the bar to help him stay caught up. Because these little sort of protoforms have convinced him to get Twitter.

·Movie nights become so massive they actually have to consider expanding the bar. Not only are old movies watched, but all the latest releases as well, some as soon as they're in theaters because look they know it's not technically legal but it's promoting good diplomacy so... However, even when he starts serving and mixing human alcohol, he's quite firm on requiring the humans who drink it to be of age. There's still fun drinks for the younger ones though.

·The humans bond with other bots, but as their first contact on the ship and the most fun he's always got a few of them by his side. Maybe he's just better with other species? He doesn't really know or care, but somehow when there's a little moment and they all take a selfie together he just... he just feels not alone. It's something he keeps a little on the down low, but he's a bit too easy to read for the humans not to notice, and since they're good kids they pretend it's a secret that they mean the world to him. On especially rowdy nights they even help clean up, and each human develops their own little nickname for him, making it less like he adopts them and much more like they adopt him.

Whirl

·Humans come in fun size too? Neat! But he's admittedly a tad curious when their age is explained and he realizes that, in their own super weird alien way, these are still protoforms. Something almost akin to worry flashes in his spark for an instant. Still, he plays it cool when they're brought on board, pretending to be no more interested than any other bot they're introduced to.

·Before he meets them, he's told quite firmly that these humans are to be protected at all costs, and that any behavior seen as antagonizing in the slightest will be punished. He ensures the top bots he's no Decepticon and that squishies aren't on his radar. But he's admittedly a little concerned that they'll notice his... peculiarities. His own species recoils at his appearance, and while he can handle that, getting it from aliens would be unpleasant.

·But there's no such reaction. They ask him his name, share theirs, and react with the same enthusiasm they do to every bot and even ask the same questions. It's pleasantly surprising, until they all get excited upon his description of his alt mode, at which point it's freaking fantastic. It's with pride that he confirms he's the only flying bot on the crew, and when he's immediately corrected by a random passerby, he explains that he meant the only one who could fly worth a damn. He's greeted by a chorus of laughter for his amazing joke and he vows that he'd die for each and every one of these little squishies.

·All it takes is one hint of a request and he's offering to take them all for a lift through the hangar. This is just the beginning of an impossibly interesting friendship. Eventually he just carries them all around in his cockpit whenever they're walking anywhere, or on his shoulders if they won't all fit, and either way there's a row of humans sitting across him. This friendship is why he's so mortified when his identity of an Empurata is accidentally revealed and the questions begin.

·He reluctantly answers and braces for the impending disgust or revulsion to realize he's been mutilated. But it never comes. Instead, there's genuine sympathy and anger on his behalf, and their little hands reach out to comfort him. Initially he can only be awed. How are these little, fragile, and oh so very young protoforms better than so many members of his species?! Does it matter? They shall be called; "The Whirl Scouts", trademark pending. They'll all have to be trained in combat for their own safety, and he will be their mom now, because he won't just die for them he'll kill for them. They're his kids and his family.

[brutal-nemesis]

Seasoned Explorers

Uhh yeah I finally had to turn in my writing portfolio AKA I finished my phat fiction story with a whumpy ending! 

This is a VERY non-canon space pirate AU featuring Castys, Syll, and Erebus, all of whom are mortal and completely human here.

Castys Masterlist

Ingredients: character death, body horror, implied amputation, self harm to escape from danger

“Hey, Castys, I just picked up another old distress signal. And it’s close by, so we should be able to at least pop by and grab some valuables before we need to head back to base,” Syll said, glancing up from her command console.

“This better not be another planet with one of those giant evil apocalypse monsters still roaming around. The scars that fish thing gave me have not gone away yet.” Castys rolled down his sleeve as he said this, revealing a row of puncture marks that stood out on his bronze skin. He lazily examined them while still driving their spaceship. 

“The cool thing about scars is that they don’t go away.”

“Oh hey shut up look at that it’s the planet-wow it’s super white.” Castys peered out the window at the huge white sphere that had come into view once the ship had slowed down. Syll got out of her chair and joined him in front of the main window.

“Is it winter in both hemispheres? I didn’t think this one was far enough from its sun to warrant this much ice. And I can’t see any structures or oceans or anything, everything must have been completely frozen over. It could be how they all died,” Syll mused.

“Well, if we get too cold we can always just stab ourselves with our thousand degree knives.” Castys pulled out his plasma knife and held it close to his chest, which probably would have killed him if the blade had been turned on. “Big toasty~.” He put it back in his pocket. “Anyway, could you go get Erebus up while I land this thing? I’ll do it in the southern hemisphere since it’s supposed to be summer there and less cold is good.” Syll nodded and went to wake Erebus, who was sleeping on the lower deck of the ship.

Castys landed the ship in a field next to a frozen city. The three of them met near the exit hatch, and Erebus checked the outside conditions display to see if the atmosphere would be breathable. It was, thankfully, but there was something else that stood out on this supposed frozen planet. “Guys… I don’t think that’s ice out there. The temp gauge says it’s warm out there. Like above-the-melting-point-of-water warm.”

“For real?” Castys replied, shoving Erebus aside to look. “Wack. Guess I won’t need all this warmy stuff then. Especially since this planet isn’t one where the atmosphere isn’t made of toxic gas that’s going to burn my skin.” He shed his warmer layers, and the other two followed suit.

When they stepped outside, they had to shield their eyes for a moment. Everything was a blinding white as far as the eye could see. Every tree and building was covered in a layer of glittering crystals. Flowers sprouted here and there, unnaturally still in the breeze. The ground crunched as they walked on it, the only sound disturbing the unnatural silence that pressed on their ears. The dead planets they pillaged typically still had some sort of life on them, something crawling or running or flying about, but everything here was completely still. Frozen, quiet, and crystalline.

Upon entering the city, they began to find the people. Their forms had been hard to make out from far away in the stark-white environment, but there were hundreds of them throughout the streets. Each and every one was frozen in time. Running, crawling, fallen to the ground, screaming in agony, in disbelief, reaching out to one another, staring up to the sky. Perfectly still statues with every flavor of pain and fear written across their faces.

“What...happened here?” Erebus had stopped in front of the form of a woman collapsed on her knees, a look of horror on her face as she stared at her own hands.

“Yeah this is pretty messed up.” Castys nudged the arm of a person lying on the ground, but they didn’t budge. “I don’t know if it’s as bad as that one planet with all the mushrooms...well, I’m sure y’all remember, but these guys are just like, perfectly frozen in their, uh, magic crystal death.”

“What does it matter? We’re not here to play detective for a dead planet.” Syll paid the frozen people no mind, weaving past them as she continued to walk down the street, looking buildings up and down. “Besides, there’s no use getting all sad about dead people we don’t even know. We see them all the time, pillaging dead planets as much as we do, and this time’s no different.”

“I don’t think we’ve seen anything exactly like this before.” Syll shot an annoyed glare at Castys and he held his hands up in surrender, continuing, “I get what you’re saying, though, so I’m down to stop staring at dead people and try to find some valuables.” He began walking with Syll, and Erebus reluctantly followed, giving the dead woman one last glance.

The three of them usually tried to find a museum or building of the sort when pillaging planets, since works of art of precious artifacts were worth a lot more galaxywide than the planet’s local currency ever could be. Normally, street signs and maps could typically assist in their search, but their crystalline coating made them impossible to read. Erebus tried to scrape the crystals off, but his efforts yielded nothing but more crystals. Wandering around looking for a museum was all they could do.

However, once they saw the building in the distance, they knew they had found it. It was much shorter than the surrounding buildings and was flanked by impressive columns and statues. The three walked through the open doors hoping there was something of value inside. The lights no longer worked, but huge windows along the walls allowed enough light in to see, even though the glass had been turned into the strange crystals. The situation inside the museum wasn’t any different from the outside. Every single thing had been converted to crystals, from the skeletons to the works of art, a blank white scene of greatness long-gone.

“I don’t think there’s gonna be anything worthwhile in here since it’s all crystal-y. Let’s just call this one a dud and head out.” Castys began to turn back and head outside.

“Wait.” Erebus held his arm out, stopping him. “A lot of museums have, like, a room with different minerals and stuff right? Maybe if this place had one we could go and see if this planet has some weird mineral that, I don’t know, spread all over for some reason? There’s gotta be a sign with information or something.” 

“That would be a great idea except for, oh yeah,” Castys gestured to a large blank sign next to him, “words aren’t real.” There was an awkward pause. “Like reading words. Here. Because of the crystals. If there was a sign we couldn’t read it. Because everything turned into-” Erebus clamped a hand over Castys’s mouth before he could continue.

“Thank you, Castys. Shut up, Castys.” Castys responded in an even more mature manner by shoving his friend back, causing him to trip and fall on his back. “Ouch. Geez, dude. You made me bite my tongue.”

“OH NO! I’ve killed you, my dear friend.” Castys fell to his knees, his hands clasped in front of him as if in prayer. “Forgive me for this grave sin.”

“Would you two stop fooling around?!” Syll yelled from the top of the large staircase on the other side of the room. “There might still be something worthwhile in this place, even if it is made of these weird crystals. So start looking.” Castys gave her a thumbs up and helped Erebus off the ground before beginning to explore.

After about an hour, the three of them met up in one of the rooms on the upper floor. There wasn’t much of a haul since most of the things they would normally steal, like gold and gems, lost their value upon becoming crystal. They did find a few small figurines that would still be valuable since their delicate craftsmanship was preserved and a few fossils that were probably detailed enough to be worth something. As they moved to leave, Erebus motioned for the other two to wait.

“I might know what these crystals are. I stopped by what used to be the gemstone room, and being in there helped me remember some stuff from that geology class I took when I was younger.” He held up a chunk of crystal he’d picked up from somewhere. “There’s one mineral that you can lick it and you know exactly what it is. Give it a try, Castys.” He tossed him the crystal.

“Well, you know I like licking things.” Castys immediately tried it out, much to Syll’s disgust and Erebus’s amusement. He made a face. “Eugh. It’s just super salty.”

“Wait, it’s actually halite? It’s the mineral that’s just straight-up NaCl, one hundred percent salt. I was hoping it was just going to be quartz or something, here, let me try.” Erebus motioned for Castys to give him the crystal back. 

“So you just wanted me to lick a random rock for no reason? Why didn’t you just try it yourself?” Castys replied, tossing it back.

“Every scientist needs a guinea pig.” Erebus smiled. He licked the crystal and immediately winced. “Ouch, yeah that’s halite all right. Which I normally wouldn’t mind licking, but somebody made me bite my tongue.” He stuck it out for them to see the small wound, but where it should have been red, there was a patch of white. And it was growing bigger. 

“Erebus, what is that?” Syll asked, moving forward to get a closer look.

“I-” was all he could say before his tongue became completely encased in the white crystals and Erebus found he couldn’t move it anymore. The spread of the crystals didn’t stop there. The patch of flesh-turned-salt grew bigger and bigger, radiating out from his mouth. He collapsed to the ground, frantically scratching at his skin, trying to get the rapidly forming layer of salt off. Castys and Syll looked oh in horror as every gouge he made in his flesh quickly changed from red to white, drops of blood only coloring their bleached surroundings for a moment before turning completely into salt. 

“Erebus, Erebus!” Castys grabbed his hand, trying to do something, anything, to help his friend. “What the hell is happening?!” He yelled desperately.

“I-I don’t…” Syll felt rooted to the spot, like she was the one turning into a statue. All she could do was watch as Erebus’s movements became jerkier in his last act of grabbing Castys’s hand tightly with both of his own. And then he was still, completely encased in the same crystal as the entire planet, immortalizing his final moments of agony.

There was silence. Castys and Syll stayed perfectly still, as if they were waiting to see if the same fate would befall them. 

“I-” Castys looked up at Syll, tears brimming in his eyes, “Syll, this is all my fault, I-I made him bite his tongue is that what killed him oh god I-”

“We don’t know what for sure, Castys.” 

“Well then why aren’t I made of salt now too?! I licked it and nothing happened, but Erebus…”

“Hey, hey Castys, it’s okay, you didn’t know, there’s no way you could have known.” She knelt down and wrapped her arms around him, feeling him shake with sobs. She was too much in shock to cry now, it still didn’t feel real. But there was no way Castys could deny Erebus’s fate. His left hand was still tightly clasped between both of Erebus’s. He couldn’t stop staring at his face, one that was laughing and smiling a minute ago, now frozen in an expression of terror. 

They weren’t sure how much time had passed, but when the light coming in from the windows began to dim, Syll stood and offered a hand to her friend. “Come on, Castys. Let’s...let’s go home.” Castys nodded wordlessly and started to stand, but when he tried to pull his hand out from Erebus’s, it wouldn’t budge. He tugged and tugged, but he couldn’t free himself from the dead man’s grip.

“Syll, Syll, my hand is stuck. He won’t let go.” He looked up at her pleadingly, the grief in his eyes beginning to mix with fear. 

“Uh-I-I don’t…” She had an idea immediately, but she hated herself for thinking of it. She looked around checking her pockets and her bag for some other solution, but there was nothing else she could think of. Nothing else she could do besides use her plasma knife. “Hold still.” She turned the knife on, the superheated blade flickering into existence, and positioned it near one of Erebus’s wrists. “I’m sorry, Erebus.” The knife cut through the salt easily, melting it before it even came in contact with the blade. When she was done, Castys lifted his arm, hand still clasped between the disembodied salt ones. He began to try to pry them off, and Syll joined in once she had turned her knife off. One of the hands snapped with an audible crack, fingers breaking off and leaving behind jagged stumps. One of which sliced into Castys’s palm.

Red blood oozed out of the gash, but that red quickly faded to white as crystals began to replace flesh and blood. “No, no, STOP!” Castys screamed, holding his hand as far away from himself as he could, as if that would stop him from meeting the same fate as his friend. “Stop it please I don’t want to die I’m sorry Erebus I’m so so sorry!”

Syll felt like she was on autopilot as she grabbed his wrist in one hand and the knife in the other. There was no time to think, no time to hesitate. She couldn’t lose them both.

 She turned the knife on and swung. 

There were three severed hands made of salt lying on the ground. But there were two flesh and blood people. They were hurting, to be sure, but they were alive. They could escape. And escape they did, leaving the silent planet of salt behind.

[crimsonrae]

Bear and Birdie

Chapter One

Summary: AU Howard only ever had Birdie to confide in as a child and Steve only ever had Bucky. So, what happens when more than just a supersoldier serum connects these people? Told in a collection of one-shots and flashbacks, rating subject to change.

Bucky BarnesxOFC

Rating: Mature

A/N: Okay I have this posted on FF and haven’t updated it in a... long time, but I’m going to post here and hope I find inspiration to finish their story, because they live in my mind and I love them.

Chapter One

1935 Brooklyn, New York

It was quiet.

But...it wasn't the world is just silent right now quiet. It was heavy, just shy of tangible.

James Buchanan Barnes, Bucky to his friends, frowned at the silence unsure why the quiet unsettled him that morning. The sun drifted through the cloudy windows of Saint Catherine's Lost Home for Boys in a hazy laziness that only seemed to add to the heavy silence of the lobby. It was almost oppressive. He bit back a sigh as he turned his attention to the paperwork he needed to fill out, lightly twirling a pen through his fingers as he read.

Official release documents – at eighteen-years-old James Barnes could no longer and would no longer be considered a ward of the great state of New York.

Bucky had known this day would come, had known he would have to say goodbye to the only stable home he ever had. He had thought he would feel angry about this day or maybe sad. He had thought he would feel something more than a slight dread and muted indifference. Maybe it was the fact that he knew the orphanage could never be a true home, a place to come back to when life became too much as he grew older. Hell, when he had arrived he hadn't intended to stay as long as he had, it was just…it was just the world seemed to have other plans for him.

If he was being completely honest with himself, the orphanage had stopped being home over a year ago. Maybe that was why he felt so indifferent to this whole process.

The lack of funding that Saint Cat's had received in the past few years had caused Bucky to ease away from the system long before it was ready to release him. The parish fought for every penny to feed and dress the growing number of children under its care. Yet, he hadn't felt right taking those meals and clothes when he knew he could take care of himself. He had spent his spare time working odd shifts down at the docks and at various diners in the area. Whatever work he could find he would take. He probably would have dropped out of school, if not for his entirely too lecture-friendly best friend - Steve Rogers would drag him off to class whenever necessary. James smirked, he had graduate by the skin of his teeth and he knew it. School was for the smart cats like Steve, not dumb bastards like him.

Not dumb bastards like him.

The paperwork seemed to glare up at him in stark black and white confirmation of that thought. James sighed resignedly, not entirely sure where his head was at as he finally lifted his hand to scrawl messily across the bottom of the page.

It was official now – he was no longer a lost boy, only a lost man. He snorted quietly, somehow that seemed far worse.

A muffled cough disturbed the oppressive silence and made Bucky blink up from his release papers directly into the sad green eyes of Sister Madeleine. He had forgotten she had been waiting for him to finish. The old Sister seemed to fade into the framework of the lobby. Always a part of the structure, but infinitely her own. Bucky pushed a small smile to his lips as he handed her the papers. Neither seemed to want to disturb the odd silence of the lobby as they waited for the other to speak. They didn't have to – the sound of shallow steps and a light grunt caught their ears as they turned toward the hallway entrance. Bucky nearly rolled his eyes.

"Stevie, what're you doing?" James sighed tiredly as he watched his best friend trudge into the lobby of the orphanage carrying a duffel that was almost as big as him.

The shorter blonde sent James a pointed look that said he shouldn't be surprised. In truth, Bucky wasn't. He had half-expected Steve to show up at the boarding house with a room key already in hand. In their almost decade long friendship and adopted brotherhood there wasn't much that Steve Rogers could do that Bucky didn't see coming, "You didn't seriously think I would stay here with Richie Long and Herman Dutt, did you?"

Bucky didn't even blink at the mention of Steve's long time tormentors, knowing it was a smokescreen. He merely quirked a brow, "And here I thought you three had made nice."

Steve snorted, "There's making nice and then there's being friendly, Buck." He paused as he ruffled through his coat to pull out paperwork that looked suspiciously like the documents that Bucky had just signed before handing them over to Sister Madeleine, "Sides, it's not like I'd be staying here much longer."

Bucky frowned as Steve glanced at him with a sly smile and certain spark in his blue eyes. Steve had at least another ten months before his release papers would need to be signed. He pursed his lips in question when the light bulb finally went on, "You got it. You got the scholarship."

Steve nodded almost shyly and Bucky just about crowed. Somehow, Steve had managed to graduate a year early with Bucky. James hadn't questioned it. He knew how determined his best friend could be and that he was smart enough to understand all the extra work. But the scholarship to Columbia...The scholarship had been a goal of Steve's since they had started high school. Bucky knew it had to do with a promise Steve had made to his mother before she passed...but Columbia.

Suddenly, leaving Saint Cat's didn't seem as unsettling. He grinned widely at his friend as he snatched his duffel up from the ground. Once again forgetting Sister Madeleine's presence as he nudged Steve in the shoulder, "This calls for a celebration. Let's go get some breakfast down at Mel's."

"We can't afford Mel's." Steve stated dryly as he followed Bucky's lead, unable to keep his small prideful smile from his lips.

Bucky just chuckled, "I think Cassie is working this morning. She'll get us something. We're celebrating Stevie. Man, you just got into Columbia. You'll be rubbing elbows with the blue-bloods soon enough."

"God, I hope not." Steve muttered amused. He tried not to shake his head at Bucky's excitement. He hadn't even been that happy when he received his acceptance letter, but it was good to see that smile. He hadn't seen Bucky smile at much lately. Swallowing tightly as the duo stepped outside he reached into the side of his bag and pulled out an envelope, "Here."

James frowned curiously as he took the wrinkled envelope. There wasn't paper inside. The contents too bulky and hard in his grasp, "What's this?"

But even as he asked, his fingers were prying open the flap to let loose two brass keys. He knew these keys. Steve almost fidgeted in place as he met Bucky's sharp gaze, "Aunt Mabel never sold Mom's apartment... just packed up and headed home to Oklahoma after...well after. And we need a place, so."

"Stevie..." Bucky started, unsure what he wanted to say, but knowing he should say something. Sarah Rogers had died in her apartment after a long drawn out battle with a sickness that he could barely understand. He couldn't see Steve living there...not after everything, "We can find another place."

"Like where, Buck? The boarding house you've been going to?" Steve pushed stodgily, "A roof is a roof, right? I can deal."

"The boarding house ain't so bad." Bucky murmured tiredly, because he couldn't quiet see Steve living there either.

Steve shrugged, he wouldn't admit that he didn't want to live in his mom's old run down box of an apartment, but he also wasn't ready to sell it yet. He hadn't even finished going through her things and she had passed over two years ago, "The apartment ain't so bad either, jerk."

James had a few reservations about that statement, but he wouldn't fight about it with Steve. Not now, maybe not ever. Instead he rolled his eyes and slung his arm around Steve's shoulder, "So, how long have you known about the scholarship, ya punk?"

"A week."

"A week? You didn't tell me for a week? You really are a punk, you know that?"

Steve snickered, "I think you'll get over it."

"Nah, we have a week worth of celebration to do now." Bucky said boastfully as he pushed his thoughts and Steve's away from Sarah Rogers.

Steve nearly rolled his eyes as he held in a groan. He had a week of Bucky trying to drag him out to a club or with a girl now. It wasn't the worst fate in the world, but he was sure it would be the most exhausting. The two sniped at each other as they walked. Their feet automatically moving where they needed.

The duo made it halfway to Mel's Diner when Steve snorted and nudged his friend, "Hey Buck?"

"Yeah?"

"Happy Birthday."

         ●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

1935 Kingston, New York

It was an unbearably hot morning. The sun seemed to be reminding the world that it was a giant ball of burning gas. Well maybe not the world, but the heat was definitely making its presence known to the small group segregated in a cemetery just outside of Kingston. Elena Turner stifled a sigh as she tried not to tug at the sleeves of her mourning dress. The satiny material didn't breathe and was beginning to cling to her skin…she wished the preacher would talk faster, this farce of a funeral needed to be over. She felt her cousin shift uncomfortably next to her and knew that he too was becoming impatient. She couldn't help, but turn to look at him. His eyes were glazed red and glaring miserably at the wooden coffin perched before them. He had foregone any pretense at being composed and was pulling clumsily at his collar.

Elena supposed it was for the best, Howard was supposed to be playing the role of the grieving son. She doubted that anyone, but herself and a few servants, knew that his pallid complexion and bloodshot eyes were the result from a night of drinking in celebration, rather than crying in sorrow. He was beyond hungover and the strange heat was doing nothing to make him better. She only hoped that he wouldn't do something incredibly…stupid.

"Stop fidgeting." Elena warned quietly, "There are more than enough people staring at you."

"I think I'm going to throw up." Howard murmured uneasily as he continued to pull at his collar. He could care less about the people watching him. He had spent the past week in a wild state of relief, shock and horror and it was almost over. As soon as the coffin was in the ground, he could move on.

"Please don't." Elena said with a small grimace, "I told you not to drink so much last night."

He rolled his eyes and instantly regretted it as the sensation of a million needles pierced his skull, "How was I supposed to know it would be such a wretched morning? Isn't it supposed to rain at funerals?...God, I'm dying."

"You're not dying, you big baby. Besides, I think the world is rather happy that your father is no longer in it, I know I am." Elena muttered lightly as she watched the preacher finally close his bible and step back from the coffin to let the gravediggers have access.

Howard nearly cried in relief at the sight of the slightly grungy men, "Give me a break. The only person mourning daddy dearest is your mother."

As if the woman in question could hear his words from across the aisle of folding chairs, Vitoria Turner, sister of Howard Stark Senior, let out an awful screeching sob. Elena was sure the entire congregation cringed at the sound as she tried to hold back a groan of disgust. She could see her older brother, Fergus, quickly coming to her mother's aid with a handkerchief. It wasn't even eleven in the morning and already the day was too long.

"Think she'll still be crying when she finds out that father left her out of his will?" Her cousin murmured amusedly as he watched the spectacle his aunt was making.

"Yes, except then the tears will be real." Elena muttered dryly as she turned her attention back to the lowering of the casket. She honestly didn't want to think about her mother receiving that news. The woman was intolerable on a good day; on a bad day, Vitoria Turner could make Satan cry, "Can I stay with you when that happens?"

Howard sent her a sympathetic look, "Do you even have to ask, Birdie? You're always welcome in my home." He tugged at his collar again, "My God, what is with this heat? It's barely even May. I swear this is my father's doing. He's making sure I'm miserable even when he's gone."

"Don't say that!" Elena whispered harshly as she went pale at the thought of her uncle still having any influence on the world.

She sensed Howard's sharp eyes studying her and suddenly felt her stomach roll with silent shame. He hadn't been the only one to have a tumultuous week. She had been bouncing between the same emotions he had, the only difference was that Elena knew they would not be able to move on as easily as her cousin seemed to think. Her eyes drifted back towards the rectangular hole in the ground, and suddenly, her dress wasn't the only thing unable to breathe. What had she done?

As if he knew what she was thinking, Howard quickly grasped her hand and squeezed her fingers. Her blue gaze quickly snapped to him, but all Howard could do was shake his head. Don't fall apart now, he was silently trying to tell her. Not yet.

"Where's that flask you snatched this morning?" He whispered instead, no longer meeting her stare. If he had, then he would have seen the exasperated disbelief that sparked in her blue orbs.

"I'm not giving you anymore alcohol."

Howard bit back a smile as he heard the annoyance coating her voice. However, he hadn't been asking for the flask for himself to use, but for her. Elena could use a little alcohol to calm her nerves. He turned to explain this to her, but was only able to get his mouth open when another resounding screech was heard from the other side of the aisle as the mourners began to stand for final farewells.

Elena glared at him, "If I have to deal with my mother sober, then so do you."

Howard wisely kept his mouth shut and stood to receive the forming line of condolence wishes. Suddenly, he wished she had given him the flask. In a perfect world, he would not have had to arrange a funeral at the age of sixteen. His eyes drifted toward the now lowered casket that had induced Elena's minor panic moments before, but then he should not have killed his father either. His hands went clammy and the headache he had been nursing all morning seemed to become even more unbearable. He just needed to get past today. A moment later, he felt Elena come to his side. Her hand lightly tapped his elbow to let him know that she was there if he needed her. He smiled gratefully at her.

"Uncle Leo is here." Elena whispered as he began to shake hands, "He'll take us back to the house once we're done here."

Howard nodded his understanding as he spared another glance toward his father's grave. As he glanced back at the mourners, he caught Elena's gaze. A look of grim understanding passed between them.

No one could know.

Next Chapter

      ●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

If you would like to be tagged in my stories please add yourself to the taglist linked in my bio!!

General Taglist (All Writings)

@bichibibi​ @madbaddic7ed @beckster07890 @herefortherealdeal 

@foxyjwls007 @spencer-is-amazing​

[digitaldreams0801]

Digimon Frontier, Character Development, and Change

In my rewrite of Digimon Frontier, I’ve been very picky about giving each character a specific arc that can be identified if you’re looking closely enough. Digimon Frontier as a whole has a very unique philosophy when it comes to developing characters, and that’s exactly what I’m going to be talking about in this quirky little info dump from yours truly. 

How Frontier Develops Characters

Digimon Frontier takes a very mature first step by introducing the flaws of each character right off the bat. With other seasons, it takes some time to identify the negative traits of each of the children, and we get used to their strengths first. Digimon Frontier does something completely different by going the other way around and forcing us to fill in the gaps of what they can do in the future. Takuya begins as an incredibly confident young man who’s too stubborn and short-tempered to admit when he’s wrong. Tomoki is a crybaby who can’t handle what’s happening. Izumi is capable of being petty and stuck-up. Junpei is an awkward kid with no grip of how to read social situations. Koji hates interacting with the rest of the team and refuses to acknowledge strength in numbers. Even when Koichi shows up, he’s portrayed as having severe problems with bottling his emotions, stepping first with his flaws. 

Frontier has the characters unlearn these issues as the series goes on, but it’s proof of maturity for the franchise that it can trust its character writing enough to establish the cast as being incredibly flawed from a fundamental perspective. The audience has faith that the writers can shift everything by the end though, developing these characters into three-dimensional people who we can see believably existing. Digimon has always been about the characters, and Frontier takes a unique perspective for this development. 

This all comes to a head at the halfway point of the season. When Takuya returns to Earth via Dark Trailmon, he is confronted with the truth of the matter: the children have all changed significantly from the petty, short-tempered people they were before. He can’t simply undo that because of how much they’ve come to change already, and the change is incredibly noticeable when you look at it from this perspective. It’s a mature, subtle way to handle character development that I love a lot. 

So... Why the hell am I not doing that? 

Problems in Planning

I’ve always admired Frontier for the way that it starts off. You have to be patient in order to see the positive traits exhibited by each member of the cast, and I think that’s a special way to begin a character-driven series like this. However, when I sat down to go about the rewrite, I realized that this method of development simply would not work for the story that I wanted to tell. 

This problematic fact first presented itself when I got to planning the appearances of the Beast Spirits. In my rewrite of Frontier, the Beast Spirits are symbolic of the monster inside that can easily be unchained when one’s emotions spiral out of hand. At its heart, Spirit Evolution is about using one’s emotions effectively, and it was this fact that I based my character development off. 

The Beast Spirits act as a catalyst for development by forcing each of the characters to confront the darkest, ugliest parts of themselves. From the beginning, there’s a strange paradox within the cast of trusting each other with their lives and little else. The first deeply personal conversation about overcoming flaws and reaching out to one another happens in chapter seven, and even so, Tomoki’s issues regarding his consistent anxiety and trauma aren’t fully resolved until seven chapters later. In chapter eight, Izumi and Junpei discuss their envy of one another, and it’s only then that any two members of the cast actually begin to trust one another with more than simply backup on the battlefield. Before, they were sticking together out of obligation rather than friendship. 

In ‘Frontiers Unexplored’, the primary point of character development is overcoming one’s issues and using emotions in an effective, non-destructive way. If you look carefully, you can see that each season has its own way of developing characters, and it’s carefully selected for that given season. In Adventure, the kids overcome their personal flaws by exemplifying their best traits. 02 is all about relationships and connecting with others. Frontier, like I already said, focuses on starting with negative aspects and moving towards positivity. Appmon is concentrated on becoming the people each of them yearns to be (for example, Haru becoming the protagonist he always wanted to be but didn’t think he could accomplish). They’re all tailored for the story that they want to tell, and there’s only so much wiggle room you can have with a given season before that philosophy of development has to change. 

In order for ‘Frontiers Unexplored’ to work, I had to do quite a bit of changing regarding the plot and characters. Since I was going for something darker, the cast was aged up, and the arcs I planned out for them simply wouldn’t work as well if their flaws were presented first. Each character development method is incredibly specific to the story that the season is trying to tell, and as much as I love Frontier’s bold move of starting with a group of emotionally messy kids and turning them into underdog heroes, it simply wouldn’t work with the story I was trying to tell, so I didn’t try to make it fit. 

Instinct, Emotion, and Change

Instead, I shifted the point of the character arcs. Each of these characters suffer from unique problems that have shaped them into the people they are. They’re problems that many teenagers suffer from, hence why the characters have been aged up. Their past experiences have left behind damage and trauma that has been left to build into resentment and fear of being hurt once again. The character development in this rewrite is all about moving past those dark times and using the emotional aftermath in an effective way. 

The Beast Spirits are, in the beginning, incredibly destructive. Tomoki is the first to find his Beast Spirit, and it’s an awful experience for him. However, each of the group’s members grows to control their Beast Spirits when they reach out and stop bottling their emotions. Rather than allowing their feelings to drive them over the edge, they allow themselves to be helped, shifting their emotions into something that pushes them forward instead of holding them back. The Beast Spirits act as catalysts for each character for move past their issues by asking for help and using their emotions effectively. 

By nature, living creatures are driven by emotion and instinct. This is the fundamental truth Beast Spirit evolution is based around, and it remains true throughout the entire book. However, this doesn’t have to be a bad thing. ‘Frontiers Unexplored’ is about taking dark, troubled parts of ourselves and turning them into something that helps rather than hinders. It’s about communication as the kids grow to trust each other more and more with their problems. Their flaws are shown, and all of them are rooted in emotions being released in the wrong way, but salvation is found by moving past those issues and using one’s feelings as effectively as possible. 

Conclusion

I love the way Digimon Frontier develops its characters, but that simply wouldn’t work for the story I was planning on telling. Each season of Digimon has its own philosophy for developing its characters, and rather than trying to make Frontier’s structure for a story where it doesn’t belong, I changed the point of the character arcs. ‘Frontiers Unexplored’ is about moving towards the future, overcoming trauma, and using emotions in a positive way rather than allowing them to destroy. The story was too different for Frontier’s idea of character development to remain, so this change was made, and I believe that it ultimately fits better for the tale I have been weaving since late May. 

I’m currently working on rewatching all of Digimon, and I’ve made considerable progress since March of this year. I’ve already gotten through Adventure, 02, Frontier, Tri, and Appmon. I’m currently a little over halfway through Data Squad/Savers, and after I’m finished with it, I’ll be starting to rewatch Tamers, and then it’ll be time for Xros Wars. After I get through them all, I may write a meta piece about each season’s philosophy for character development since I had so much fun working on this. Of course, it’ll probably be a while until I get around to that, so in the meantime, I hope you enjoyed reading this! Chapter nineteen of ‘Frontiers Unexplored’ is dropping this Sunday! Have a nice day, everyone! 

[mizu-writes-kumo]

Its my birthday today and I was hoping you could please do more for that shance Tarzan au. That one is my favorite.

Happy belated Birthday, my dear!  Sorry this took me a few days to get back to you, so sorry I missed your birthday.  (But admittedly I was lazy and didn’t write when I should have).  I hope you enjoy this!

You can also head it here on AO3!

--

Shiro didn’t like lying to his family and friends.

But he liked seeing Lance a whole lot more.

Lance had so many interesting things to teach him.  Had so many things Shiro had never seen before.  He could do so many things Shiro never thought possible with all the things too.  And he would calmly help Shiro understand how to use them.  

It was like he had a whole other world he was showing Shiro.

And it was great.

Shiro was learning so much.

Like how to communicate better with Lance, and his group.  He learned things called words and letters, and how to do a thing called reading from a thin little book.  Something Lance had seemed excited to find one morning in his weird nesting grounds.

And he learned about their diet and how to eat certain things.

And was shown pictures and drawings and other things of Lance’s world.

And about things called stars.  He looked at the dots in the sky closer than ever with a device Lance’s friend Coran had.  While Lance told him stories about the stars and the pictures in the sky.

It was great and wonderful.

The only not so great thing, was Sendack.

Who huffed and puffed about impatiently at just about everything.

He didn’t seem to like Lance.  

Shiro really didn’t seem to understand how anyone could not like Lance.  Though Lance didn’t seem to like him back, so…

Sendack was always seeming to grow angry or frustrated whenever Shiro would find something Lance was doing more interesting.  Or glare at Lance whenever he didn’t seem to press Shiro for what he wanted to do.  Stomping away into the brush sometimes when Lance would refuse to budge on something.  The two seemed to get in a lot of arguments, and Allura and Coran seemed to favor more towards Lance in terms of what the two were fighting about. Which never seemed to help Sendack’s mood.

But it wasn’t the worst.

Shiro’s lying to his family was probably the worst.

His mother asked every morning and every evening what he was doing with his sunlight.  His brother, Keith, and friends all seemed to have an idea of what he does.  Just not the extent perhaps.  Because Keith always tells him to be careful and not to get too close.  Hunk worries about a whole array of things.  Pidge and Matt don’t seem to overly care, but Shiro knows they worry in their own ways.

But as long as Shiro returns as the sun falls away, he is fine.

No one questions him too much when he says he just went about exploring.  

He had always been a curious young one, and as long as he returned okay, there was no need to worry.  Sometimes Shiro’s wonders had led their group to newer better things. And rarely did anything bad come out of it since Shiro had grown and matured.

So it was fine.

And it gave Shiro all the time he wanted with Lance.

Who Shiro couldn’t currently find as he looked around the nest area.

Allura was standing by a table, hunched over a bit as she looked at something on it.  Occasionally drinking from the cup she had beside her.  Not once looking up from what had her attention to grab it...a skill Shiro had yet to understand how to do.  Of course he was also still learning how to hold a cup properly from Allura...but still.

Coran was fluttering around his nest structure.  Doing something with the things he wore on his feet.  Boots...Lance had called them or something.  He was using something to wipe at them with, before examining them, then repeating the processes.  Occasionally stopping to scribbling something down in a book.

And Lance….

Lance was…no where...in sight…

No!  Lance was sitting on a large fallen branch of an old tree on the edge of camp.  His back to Shiro as he slowly moved to curl up.  Moving carefully with his personal book, just so, as to not startled the bird that was settling on a branc--

“Pay attention!”  Sendack huffed sharply as he yanked Shiro’s face back to the book he had, and the large paper called a map.  “Tell me where the gorillas are.”  The larger man demanded as he pointed and a picture of an angry gorilla.  “I know you know where they are, so tell me!”

Shiro grunted as he wiggled out of Sendack’s hold.

Pushing and shoving the book and map away as well.  He slipped just out of Sendack’s reach as the larger man tried to grab both him and the papers.  And he ignored Sendack’s annoyed sounds as he hurried over to where Lance was curled around his book.  Moving with short movements and the familiar scratching sound of his pencil.

Lance turned a bit at the sounds behind him.

He smiled instantly as Shiro made his way over to him.  Almost instantly shifting for Shiro to have a space to beside him on the branch.  And he held his blank book out for Shiro to look at when he curiously tried to peek around Lance’s shoulder at it.

On the page was the bird.  

A drawing of it, as Lance had explained to him once.  It was something he could do.  Both to record the things he saw in the jungle, and just for fun or a thing called relaxation.

The drawing looked very much like the bird’s head.

But it was still missing the body.

Lance turned pulled the book to do more.  Turning away from Shiro and back to where the bird had perched themselves on the branch for a rest.  Only….

It wasn’t there any more.

“Dammit.”  Lance huffed as his shoulders drop.  Before he sighed heavily to himself as he closed his book.  “They always fly away before I’m done.” He stated as he put his cheek in his hand and turned to Shiro.  “Mostly because Sendack is a loud oaf, but I’ve seen one that close before.  I thought if I hurried...”

 Shiro tilted his head at Lance.

He half understands what the other was saying. But…

Lance sighed.  “It doesn’t matter.  I am sure there will be another...eventually.”  He looked wishfully at where the bird last was.

Shiro didn’t understand was Lance was so saddened by the bird being gone.  

Shiro saw those birds all the time in the jungle.  Countless amounts of them flying around and nesting.  He also knew which fruits and seeds they liked so they weren’t afraid of him, and trusted him as he swung about.

Suddenly an idea hit Shiro.

He quickly moved past Lance and a bit into the jungle’s open.  Turning back to look at Lance who has blinked at him in surprise, before he glanced at a device on his wrist.  It was something that kept a thing called time for Lance.  But Lance raised an eyebrow at Shiro when he looked back.

“You leaving me too?”  Lance asked with a small sign.

“No, Lance come.”  Shiro huffed in Lance’s ways, as he moved to reach out for Lance.

Lance looked at him oddly.

“Lance come with Shiro.”  Shiro stated more clearly as he bounced a bit closer to Lance.  “Shiro show.”

Lance looked back at the nesting area and the others.  

Seeming unsure of what to do.

“Just Lance come.”  Shiro said as he gently took a hold of Lance’s arm.  “Lance come with Shiro.  Shiro show just Lance.”  He added as he carefully pulled Lance along.

The other still resisted.

“Shiro show Lance the birds.”  Shiro stated confidently.  “Shiro know where.”

Slowly, Lance started to follow.

----

Shiro could feel Lance tightly gripped on to him.

It’s frightfully tight hold where Lance managed to grip him.  

And totally unnecessary, before Shiro has Lance well gripped with his legs.  He even looped his toes through some loops on Lance’s pants as well. Not to mention Lance had tied done something with one of his clothing items to insure he didn’t slip out of Shiro’s hold. Muttering something about how Allura would kill him if he died falling to his death.

But Shiro knows he won’t drop Lance.  

He had carried Keith, and Pidge in similar manners up some of the jungle vines.  And at least Keith was heavier than Lance, but Pidge could be a wiggler.  He had no problem with either.

Shiro just carried on hosting them both up the vines into the treetops.

Occasionally he would peek down at Lance. 

Just to see if he was okay.

Most of the time he just seemed rather frightened by the height.  Or maybe it was just the fact that they could just drop.  Because Shiro knew Lance could climb rather descently up a few jungle trees on his own.  And he always seemed to panic when Shiro would just jump off something.  

Yet there were other times where there was a dusting of a red color to his cheeks.

“How much longer Shiro?”  Lance asked gently.

“Close.”  Shiro answered back as he looked up.

Only a few more grasps up before they reached the branch the vine hung from.  Then Shiro could host them up onto the larger branch that would lead to where he was taking Lance.  It really wasn’t far or much longer.  

He couldn’t wait for Lance to see.

Which was probably why it took them no time to get onto the branch.

It was slower to get to the protective bush of the location.  Mostly due to Lance being slow to move along the branch with him.  He was wary of where he stepped, and his balance wasn’t as perfect as Shiro’s.

But they got there, and Shiro pulled back the brush to reveal…

Countless birds flying and existing in the green space.  Completely unbothered by Shiro’s sudden presence, and kept on with what they were doing.  Like some continued nesting, or grooming their feathers, or cuddling up to their buddies.  All chirping and chattering away.

Shiro smiled as he turned back to look at Lance.

Find the other’s eyes widening with amazement.

“Oh...wow....Shiro…”  He said slowly as he blue eyes scanned the sight before him.  “There are so many of them.  So close, I could touch them.  I’ve...I’ve...I’ve never seen anything like this.  This is amazing.”

Shiro carefully guided them in.

The birds know Shiro, but they could still be frightened by a sudden movement.

Lance just kept looking around him.  

Gasping every so often the more he looked around.

Shiro grabbed Lance’s right wrist, and holding it up in the air.  He carefully adjusted Lance’s hand to be just the way he knew the birds like for a landing point.  And instantly one flew to land right on Lance’s hand and peer at the two curiously.

“Oh...my…”  Lance whispered beside Shiro, before two more birds Lance on him.

Lance held up more of his arm to accommodate the two new birds.  And instantly a few more flocked to land on him, all the way up to his shoulder.  Lance stilled a bit, before holding out his left for the process to repeat and he was well covered in the colorful birds.  Shiro could feel the birds perching on him as well, and chirping happily.

Lance turned to Shiro with a small smile on his lips.

Before he shorted and started laughing.

“Oh this is so amazing.”  Lance stated with a joyful sounding bark of a laugh.  “I...how...Shiro, this is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.”

“My world.”  Shiro said simply as he scratched at a bird’s underbelly lightly.

He turned back to look at Lance covered in birds.

With an expression Shiro didn’t know what it meant.

“Thank you, Shiro”  Lance said softly.  “For showing this to me.”

Then he leaned forward towards Shiro and put his lips to Shiro’s cheeks for a moment before pulling away.

Shiro didn’t understand gesture.  

Not in the way Lance properly did.  

But it made Shiro feel warm inside and out,  As well as fuzzy and light, with a feeling in his stomach he couldn’t really describe.   And as he reached up to touch his cheek it was like he could still feel Lance’s lips there.  

He turned to ask Lance what he done.

Only the other’s attention had turned to laughing at a bird that had landed on his head and was curiously peering down at him.  He made a face as it chirped and squacked down at him in protest.  It was too precious, Shiro didn’t want to ruin it..

The question could wait for another time.

For the time being, Shiro just wanted to show Lance his world.

--

AN: So I did this from Shiro’s POV, since that technically like the only way to do Strangers Like Me.  And I specifically did the bird scene in that song, cause like I always think it’s so cute.  But like I give it my own little flare with Lance giving Shiro a kiss, and Shiro being excited but not understanding, cause it just seemed cuter.

To me, this is great, mostly because it’s a little rush, and I think the tone is different than the other parts...but they have also been from Lance’s POV so.  I don’t know.

Also pretty sure tumbr got rid of my italics...and I just don’t want to go back.

[probably-writing-x]

Reunion

~A Noah Centineo Imagine~

Gif is not my own

Inspiration: Reunion by Betty Who

Warnings: Mentions of a past break-up, lil bit of fluffy angst (it's a thing)

~~~Enjoy lovelies! Thank you for reading and please send me requests/questions/comments that you have!~~~

His face looked like an aged mirror of what you had left years ago. There was still that dark shadow to his warm eyes, the defined cupid's bow that graced his lips, the scar that touched across his cheek. Everything was the boy that you had parted ways from at the end of high school; just more mature.

He saw it too. The dimple in your right cheek that shone every time you smiled, the freckle underneath your eye, the beauty of your features. It felt like a bittersweet sight. You were everything he'd loved and everything he'd lost. And you were walking towards him.

"Noah," You start, not really sure how to follow on from that.

"(Y/N)," He responds, his lips curling up with a boyish charm, "It's been like..."

"Feels like forever," You finish for him, suddenly feeling a flood of that childish crush emotion. How you felt when you first loved him.

"Yeah," He looks down, scratching the back of his neck, "Why are you here? I thought this was just a press event?"

You nod, "I actually did it. I became a reporter, I've started working for this really great magazine and they invited me here to start my first story for them,"

"Wow that's-" He shakes his head in a disbelieving pride, "Just what you always wanted. That's amazing, babe."

Noah stops himself after he's said it and you see the blush that grows onto his sun-kissed cheeks.

The silence that hangs between you is far too odd. Normally, your meetings would have been filled with a constant chatter or a million stolen kisses. But today, all of that was gone. Because your love had divided.

"Would you maybe want to get out of here?" You suggest, "I was thinking of leaving anyway and my place isn't too far,"

His eyes light up with a surprise glee, "Sure,"

To add some context, you and Noah dated in high school- all the way to senior year. For the majority of your time together, it had been great. You had a connection that went beyond any childish relationship that people expected you to have. But...that changed when he decided to go to LA to pursue his acting career. You were all for it, you knew that LA would be great for him and you'd even looked into a few courses over there that looked perfect for journalism. But that wasn't in his plans. He had some sort of complex about 'doing it on his own' and wanted to call this a fresh start. And a fresh start meant taking you out of the equation. The break-up was awful. You've never cried so much, and you hadn't since then.

He hurt you. There was no denying it. But you couldn't help but still fall in love with him whenever you saw him. So here you were, unlocking the door to your apartment with another weird silence between the pair of you.

"This is your place?" He asks, curiously peering into the different rooms.

"Yeah, the job I had as a PA for an editor definitely paid well," You chuckle, walking through to the kitchen and throwing your keys and bag down onto the counter, "Can I get you a drink?"

"Water will be fine," He responds, following you and standing at the counter.

The silence is deafening once more but you take the moment to properly look at him. Noah was more muscular than his teenage self, he had defined arms and a more structured face than you had known. He was still a beautiful man in every way he possibly could be- nobody could deny that.

"Do you maybe have a top or something I could change into? I must've left some with you," He cuts through, "This suit is ridiculously uncomfortable,"

"I-" You start and break eye contact as you set the glass down on the surface, "I threw those out Noah,"

He stops, "Oh, yeah, of course. Sorry,"

"I had to find some way of getting over you," You admit.

It was true. You got yourself into such a dark place when Noah left that you had to find any way of clawing yourself out.

"I tried to call you, more times than I care to admit, I rang like a thousand times," He shakes his head, "I even sent you some letters,"

"I know," You nod, "I got them, but I didn't read anything. They're in a box upstairs,"

Noah glances down with a solemn regret present in his piercing eyes.

"Like I said, I needed to do anything I could to try to fall out of love with you. And that meant that any attempts you made just felt like something I was going to regret when I was alone," You sigh, dragging a hand through your hair and pulling it out of your face, "And when I heard you'd got a new girlfriend I-"

"I haven't been with anyone else," He cuts in quickly, "I've never even thought about it,"

You look down with perhaps a smile of relief.

"(Y/N)," Noah begins once more, coming close to you and taking your hand, "I was an absolute idiot to leave you because I thought I should go out on my own to LA. I can't tell you how much I hated it, movies and success felt so hopeless without you beside me to celebrate and keep me grounded. And I'm telling you that I've grown and I'm willing to spend a million and one days proving to you that I deserve a second chance. And I think in some weird way, it was fate that we were both at that event tonight, that happened to be extremely boring!"

You can't help but blush at his words, he still made your heart melt and part of you hated that, "When you left, I thought I'd never get over you. I took every single photo I had of you and put it in a box out of sight. I thought it would give me some sort of closure that whatever 'forever' I thought we had was gone," You look into his eyes because its the only way you think you can get through what you're saying, "But then I see photos of you and I see your movies and I see you tonight and... I realise that my heart never really broke that forever. And I thought tonight might be my way of getting away from you once and for all because I could finally say goodbye. But I ended up realising that I didn't want to say goodbye at all and I think it's really the reunion I've been waiting for ever since senior year, "

"So what does this mean?" He questions with that childish hopefulness that would never leave his maturing mind.

His thoughts are lost as soon as he sees the tears building in your eyes. Noah drops your hand and instantly moves his hands to your waist, searching until your eyes meet his.

"Hey, hey, hey," He shakes his head, "Don't cry. You know I always cry when you cry,"

"I can't get hurt again Noah," You whisper, a blush creeping back onto your cheeks.

"I'm not going to hurt you again," He assures you, lifting his hands to cradle your face as his thumbs swipe across your cheeks to rid you of any escaping tears, "I was an idiot in high school to do what I did, but that was a long time ago and, if being away from you was good for anything, it was for proving that I can't imagine the rest of my life without you."

"And I don't want to leave you again," You sigh and his smile blossoms.

Noah tips his head down so his lips are centimetres from yours, "Never,"

(Asks and requests are open!!)

[rachelkaser]

Catch-Up Critic: Assassin’s Creed Origins

This review was originally set to come out shortly after the game was released. But life happened, and things generally conspired that I couldn’t publish it for ages. Originally the nuts-and-bolts part of the review was more extensive, but I basically decided to keep that part short because my deeply critical inner fangirl demanded I spend the most time on the story part.

This will come in handy when I publish my series critique of Assassin’s Creed next week. Stay tuned!

When I first heard the whispers about the Egyptian Assassin’s Creed back in what feels like the late Cretaceous, I had my doubts as to how it would make the story work. This would be the first time the series set a game in the period before the historical Hashashin and Knights Templar existed, so I was skeptical of how it could tie it to the existing narrative without feeling contrived.

For the most part, that worry was assuaged. The game’s narrative is probably better for not being tied so closely to the tangled mess that is Anno Domini-era Assassin’s Creed. That said, it suffers from a few pitfalls that keep me from really loving the story, for all I do like the main characters.

First, the Basics

It’s the age of Cleopatra, and Bayek of Siwa, a member of a now-defunct order of warriors, is on the warpath. The death of his son Khemu has sent him on a murderous rampage, looking for those responsible. Assisting him in the quest is his wife Aya, and the two eventually realize they may have stumbled on something bigger and more sinister than either of them ever realized. By the end of the game they realize they must expand their purpose beyond avenging one crime if they’re truly to help the people of Egypt -- effectively becoming the first Assassins.

The (somewhat literal) sandbox in Origins is the biggest I've ever seen in an AC game [this was written before I played AC Odyssey], encompassing what feels like the entire Egyptian empire. The terrain is varied, from rocky and swampy to sandy to forested. The scenery is by far the best thing about the game, at once arrestingly beautiful and rather forlorn.

Bayek is generally a likable protagonist, far more world-weary and intelligent than the last couple of AC leads have been. His and Aya’s relationship is a refreshing new spin on the series’ usual take on romantic relationships, being an established, loving marriage that strains under weight of grief and anger. That said, there are some points where their characterization strains credibility...but we’ll get to that.

The open-world traversal is serviceable, if a little boring. The combat is also much more fun than the vast majority of the games in the series. If there’s one good thing I can say about Ubisoft’s efforts, it’s that they have managed to finally evolve away from 1 & 2′s atrocious “one opponent at a time” combat, even if the evolution came in painfully slow fashion over about five games.

The animation quality is generally of a much higher quality than in the last couple of games, and everyone in the game. That said, I question the need to hunt and kill the Egyptian wildlife. It’s not really in-character for Bayek -- in fact, it hasn’t really been in character for any of the Assassins except for Connor and Edward.

Also, speaking as someone who’s actually ridden similar animals in the real world -- what the fuck is with the horses in the game? I’m not just talking about how they behave (though it’s nice to see the ancestors of Geralt’s Roach teleporting all over the sands), but more about how they look and move. I realize the horses of Roman Egypt would be quite different animals to the Quarter Horses of my time, but still ... who is responsible for these swan-necked beasts and their incredible uncomfortable-looking gallops? How is it, when horses have been in the games and reasonably well-animated for ten fucking years, they’ve suddenly become something out of one of those girly Barbie PC games from the nineties?

Quest-ion for you

Now we’ve got to get to the problems I have with this game’s story, and what it means for the series in general.

It feels like, as the Assassin’s Creed series goes on, the story structure loses more and more of its load-bearing beats. To be clear, AC has had basically the same story since the beginning: Personal misfortune forces the main character to claw up to Master Assassin status and find personal fulfillment in the Creed. I challenge you to give me a game in the series where that’s not the basic structure, other than Rogue and the sequels to AC2, of course. And as we get into ever-higher franchise numbers, every game seems to be in a bit more of a hurry to get that pesky initial development out of the way so it can get to work handing the player tasks to complete.

Let me break it down even further: Altair, in AC1, starts the game as a cocky little shit who thinks he can get away with everything, and it takes a long, drawn-out sequence of having his hooded head smacked around to bring him down to earth. When you start the meat of the game, he’s been stripped of his rank and has to work his way back up. Along the way, he must grow his mind and devote himself to the spirit of the Creed in order to match himself against a conspiracy that’s miles over his head. That’s the character arc.

In AC2, Ezio has an extended sequence roaming Florence, making friends, and getting into trouble. He’s established as a sweet, if reckless boy who really loves his family. When that family is torn apart for reasons young Ezio doesn’t really understand, he goes on the attack. Over the course of about twenty years, he takes the Creed to heart and sets about dismantling the entire operation that led to his father’s and brothers’ deaths in the first place, for the good of society more than for his own personal gratification. That’s the arc.

AC3: Connor grows from being a kid with a narrow sense of justice, to a man who takes the teachings of the Creed to understand moral grey areas, gaining a more nuanced reason why he opposes the Templars, and also how he can steer the course of the society around him in a better direction.

AC Liberation: Aveline hunts Templars initially because her Assassin Mentor tells her to, and only after she rescues her mother does she come to a greater understanding of what the Assassin/Templar conflict is actually like and decides for herself why she wants to be an Assassin.

AC Unity: Arno is accused of a crime he didn’t commit, and has to grow from a silly kid to a serious, politically-savvy adult in the space of a few months, finding the internal strength to oppose the people he loves like family (in theory, anyway; I don’t think it quite managed to sell that story, but the thought was evidently there).

But recently, the games have seemed to steamroll past these essential bits of early character development, as if they are incidental to the arc. They aren’t, and it’s starting to look more and more like the devs don’t realize that.

In Syndicate, for example, the Frye twins’ personal misfortune that prompts them to act out is the death of their father Ethan. While the central conflict of the story that prompts most of their character growth comes from their differing viewpoints, the death of the Frye pater familias is still intermittently treated as serious business for them. Since we never see or know much about Ethan or what he felt for his kids, it doesn’t mean much and ends up stunting the likeability of the characters.

Similarly, in AC: Chronicles, we’re dropped headlong into the stories of the three protagonists and never really given insight into what they feel about the conflict with the Templars and why they’ve come down on the side they have. In that case, it’s mostly because all three are novel/comic characters who have already undergone their essential growth in other media, but their stories still feel as though they’re missing crucial elements.

So it goes with Bayek of Siwa. We’re supposed to be attached to him (and to a lesser extent, his wife Aya) and invested in his quest to avenge the death of his son. However, literally the only time we spend with him pre-revenge quest is a five-second lingering close-up intercut with acid trip memories of the incident that prompted the quest. Then we smash cut to him killing the first of his targets, screaming about how he wants his revenge, when we haven’t even been gifted with his name yet. It’s as abrupt as it sounds.

Why Are We Here Again?

Speaking of said revenge quest: For something that’s so important to Bayek, and crucial to the plot of the game, it’s treated with almost startling flippancy by everyone else. Aside from one kind comment from Cleopatra, almost no one seems the least bit sensitive to the issue. Keep in mind, we’re talking about the on-screen murder of a child.

For example, Bayek’s relationship with his wife Aya slowly sours over the course of the game. If this had happened because their relationship simply couldn’t bear the strain of their mutual tragedy, I’d understand, and call that a mature depiction of a relationship, even. After all, you’d think, if anyone would be on Bayek’s side when he’s working through his grief, it’d be the mother of his murdered child.

Instead, Aya seems far more concerned with ingratiating herself with Cleopatra then she does with avenging the death of her son -- and it’s hard for me to see a good reason for that. Cleopatra is telegraphed as someone with good intentions who might fold under power, and any series devotee already knows she’ll be killed by an Assassin later in life, so it’s pretty clear she’s not above becoming a tyrant. There’s a good reason, gameplay-wise for Aya to be so besotted -- it’s to make sure an increasingly-cynical Bayek has to associate with the most known figure from the time period, someone he otherwise wouldn’t approach with a ten-foot pole. But story-wise, it’s just a little baffling.

For example, when she’s telling Bayek she has no intention of returning to their hometown towards the end of the game, she asks him what higher calling he answers to. When he responds their calling is that they’re parents, she responds, almost casually, “We were parents.” Her child was murdered in cold blood a short time ago, I’ll remind you. No mother would say that. Nobody would say that.

Bayek, for his part, is single-minded in his focus to bring his son’s killer to justice, and it effects every aspect of his character. He’s portrayed as being incredibly kind and friendly to children, relating to them and bringing his parenting skills to bear during investigations, and distraught when his actions indirectly harm them.

That said, even he’s not immune to rocky inconsistencies in tone and character. Late in the game, he approaches Cleopatra, having murdered several members of the Order on her command. When she commends him and offers him a new set of targets, he complains that he feels like a glorified hitman and none of the people he killed were involved with his son’s death. She brushes him off and tells him about the enemy she wants him to kill. Less than five minutes after complaining that Cleopatra’s using his quest for vengeance to further her own political agenda ... Bayek seemingly forgets this and, with no further reassurances from Cleo, excitedly wonders if this latest Order target is the one who killed his son.

Now What?

As much as I want to adore this game, there are certain problems with the story and the need to fit Bayek in to the role of Assassin as other characters have played it in the past undercut its meaning and emotion.

I’m going to be looking at the series’ overall story as it currently stands, and Origins marks a watershed moment for the current generation of AC games. Where it delivers on crunchy combat and open-world gameplay, it fails in character growth and consistency.

[kosmicdream]

Hi I’m Kosmic. I draw webcomics and my webcomics are really long sprawling huge cast ones that will go on for years and they’re non linear and all this stuff that makes ppls heads spin when they try to explain wtf they’re about. I ask myself this question a lot: How the fuck do I maintain this motivation for continuing projects that are honestly, probably bigger than i can possibly feasibly create??? How do i avoid swallowed up by anxiety of my own creations???? is that energy going to run out at any time? should i be worried?? Well! For some reason I... don’t? like i get winded sometimes but in the end, I actually quite like what i do and I don’t care that it takes literally years to make my stories. but when I step back and look at it objectively it does make me scratch my head and wonder how i came to be in this situation. So, sometimes i  try and write a few things that help me with understanding my own process, for whatever reason. Or at least I’ll TRY to articulate some of the things i seem to tell myself again and again that help me feel very comfortable with my writing/creating process. So if you want an insight into tips that i give myself.. this is that! 

TIP #1 - Everything you Plan will take longer than you planned, but you can make it easier by unexpectedly including information you might have otherwise withheld.

Secrets are cool in your stories. I have so many of them, but I also understand that they’re much more fun to share than to always keep locked up and out of knowledge. I often overshare to the point where ‘info dumping’ happens which is often considered an unattractive quality in comics. But IDM it so much because my comics just need to be drawn and you can’t glorify and hold every flaw over your shoulders when in the end its not going to be that big of a deal. I think its better to give out more information than finding reasons to bend around a story to avoid revealing things. I feel it might even be more obvious if you attempt to do that.

Also, I feel that everything planned in a story can happen quite quickly, and feel much shorter than actually drawing it. Even with the experience ive gained, i still am surprised just by how much i must throw out to make my long scenes shorter and snappier. even then, they are still really long scenes. I don’t mind doing this, I like to make my stories this way- but ive also designed my comic to serve this pace by making my pages less intensive physically to make. I’m not going to go in depth about this as ive already discussed this many times before, but I do think its important to understand that generally, a commitment to a comic is going to be bigger and longer than it appears in your mind or even on paper as a script or thumbnails.

(my comic eggshells, for example, was originally going to be 340ish pages long. but back then, my pacing was much different-- and my pages were generally twice as wide with around 15 panels per page..sometimes more. but i would over-render and make them hard to read, and now i draw very few panels per page and my comics are much ‘longer’ in page count.)

TIP #2

-Accept that your ideas are bigger than what you can draw and enjoy the private context and history of your work without feeling like its less accomplished for not being all out there. Validate yourself but also understand that your readers are not going to understand the depth from your perspective and they will be engaging with the view they’ve been exposed to.

This is kind of a complicated one but I think that its both humbling to accept your work as this multi layered experiences of contradicting perspectives.. theres the planning and your engagement with the goals, the work of translating your creation to others and the vulnerable exposure of these ideas to the audience. As the creator, you get to see things in a very unique way that no one else can but... the one feeling you will never get to see is the audience who has no idea what will happen next. You can anticipate it, but in the end its so vast and unpredictable that it will be impossible to judge what they ALL will FEEL and sometimes? their perceptions can alter your own enjoyment of your work. I guarantee it will change it in SOME way.. that’s part of the sacrifice.

TIP #3

-Allowing change, flexibility and growth into your series- and letting go of control over all facets of it.

As time goes on things just change. Its hard to accommodate or prepare for that kind of investment in your work when you feel like you havent even gotten through the starting gates of your story. Comics are particularly difficult for that because once you draw a thing, it takes time to edit and you cant really undo and go back. Each panel informs and builds on the next. You have to use what’s there and figure out how it can be a structure for the future.

Accepting the past that has helped create the situation and platform of your comic in the present, which will lead into the future. Personally, i’m not a fan of retconing* certain decisions that have been already made into the canon-- however, i think if a new conclusion or idea is discovered in the process of writing and it works to include because it creates a new and alive energy in the work that will help push it to the next stage.. i think that’s very helpful and useful for sustaining the growth and motivation in a story. Making choices like this can be tricky, however, but even small ones can give a lot of natural growth and flexibility in the comic. The problem can often come with letting go of that unseen, unrealized version we had intended. I know for myself, i can get very nostalgically attached to old ideas but-- if i think of something better that works or makes more sense, I’m always thankful to let go and let my stories grow into a better thing. I try to remember where it came from, however. Because that helps inform me where to go.

(*generally my definition for this is altering events of the past, certain core plans of the comic, character motivations, or facts that are connected to the worldbuilding. im kind of a hoarder so once its in the story aka on a specific page-- its not going anywhere. until then things can be up in the air. for example, the characters knife and spoon were not originally intended to be mutually in love and it was more of a one sided idol worship, but as i fleshed their characters out i realized that it was mutual and it changed and altered the story because of that. now it cannot/will not be “undone” for whatever reason bc this is.. an established fact in the story. but at one point, it was not! i hope that makes sense.)

SO TO SUMMARIZE... plans will always be “”bigger”” in the ever expansive space of your mind so also dont be afraid to get to the point sometimes even if it feels a little, like. less exciting than you thought? accept your story is going to be different for YOU vrs your audience and make peace with that disconnect even tho its disorienting + upsetting sometimes & accommodate the ~natural personal and artistic growth~ you will experience and let go of things that might be holding you or your work back from improving with you. but also dont try to cut out too much of the past because.. it is what helped you get to where you are right now? focus on the present & allow growth for the future, dont try to alter the past and pretend it didnt happen. bc that will be confusing as fuck for everyone involved and also probably hurt the story more than help it. esp if its a long one. ur building a tower dont pull out too many foundational blocks and try to make it too much of something else unless its growing there on its own.. u kno? 

When I try to write these tips these are just things I find myself doing in a cycle as i create that seem to keep re igniting my passion for my story again and again. It makes me curious because it also is a very instinctual thing so I thought I might try and write it out!!!!!!!!!! ENJOY.

ALSO some bonus thoughts!!!!!!!!!! I will say that I’ve never completed a long format comic series, so take it w/ a grain of salt imo. HOWEVER...I probably will, eventually. Even if I don’t, I do enjoy writing really big ones and I feel very happy with the work i do on them! and still feel no inclination to move onto other things. Or even when I work on other things, I don’t have a feeling of dropping a story entirely. (for example, i still intend to work on my older series eggshells and don’t really feel a desire to ‘quit’ that story even when i have matured as an author/artist since starting it.)

When I read really long comic series I wonder a lot of internal decisions that happen out of sight, since the timeline of a comic that you read is so much different than the timeline it takes actually creating the thing. its so easy to write/plan/form ideas for lifetimes of work that will never be realized, so what is it that we actually get in the pages? What aspects of this author are we actually seeing? how much have they grown since beginning and what about the story we will never know? I know I’ll never know, because, I am only the reader! And as the creator, I will never know what the feeling of my work as the reader. or the cool and interesting things they predict will happen based on their perseptions, which are so different from mine. Yet!! we are all engaged in the same story unfolding, never fully discovering what its like on the other side but only getting little glimpses and thats fascinating how a story is almost this vast illusion of experiences maintained by so many different minds. 

Long format comics captivate me because they are just, really time consuming to make and the pacing of them are so different and less consumable than other stories. They like become.. this place you live in! Why are they my favorite to enjoy even when its natural that, when a story becomes longer, its going to end up attracting more & more issues? Why do i Not care about resolutions to long stories sometimes bc my expectations for them are different?? (also lets face it, experience writing long stories is going to be different than writing short ones because it takes time to write longer things & we are not going to have as much experienc having more than one completed super long multi-act-multi-characterplot story vrs a bunch of smaller ones. it doesnt mean its EASIER to write shorter ones, if anything id argue its probably much harder to write good short things + isolate a story down to that focused vision than making tons of long ones that avoid endings) but..yet!! here i am...

why am i constantly drawn to trying to understand long format stories when I probably could improve faster by writing shorter things??! i dont really know! but i follow my heart and my heart likes to do things this way......

anyway, this entire post is mostly inspired by the fact that many of my favorite stories started before i was even born or have been going on for decades and i wonder if we’ll ever read the endings to many of them.... would it.. matter? they’ve already inspired me so much even without a resolution because i can imagine my own endings to things.. but in the end that is not what happened in the actual story. it was only in my mind.. and yet it never happened, and was an illusion unknown to anyone but myself.....and sometimes my favorite stories are my favorites because of the things i imagined them to be, rather than what they actually were or how they actually turned out.. i dont know how this happens..... but i wonder about what this means with my OWN comics, and how my perceptions of what they could be vrs what they are is like, this weird illusion that also exists only in my mind and no one else can see it. yet we are both looking at the same thing. and i want to know what others see and i never will get to??? ....stories are......... so fucking spooky!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!! ok thats all. thx for reading

[sciencespies]

Op-ed | Japan’s Space Journey: From the Land of the Rising Sun to the Moon

https://sciencespies.com/space/op-ed-japans-space-journey-from-the-land-of-the-rising-sun-to-the-moon/

Op-ed | Japan’s Space Journey: From the Land of the Rising Sun to the Moon

On Dec. 6, 2020, a Japanese spacecraft raced back from deep space at more than 26,000 mph (11.7 km/s), dropped a capsule into Earth’s atmosphere and sped away. The payload was recovered as intended in the Australian outback, and within it were more than 5 grams of material collected from the near-Earth asteroid Ryugu. The successful Hayabusa2 sample-return mission was a first. The celestial body sampled, the technology and processes used to do it, the size and quality of what was brought back — Japan accomplished what no other nation had before it.

Hayabusa2 was just the latest in a long chain of Japan’s success in space. After more than half a century, the nation’s space ecosystem is growing in ways unlike any other. The civil missions and government efforts, the commercial and startup communities, and the drive for talent are all evolving to adapt to the country’s distinct needs and opportunities, as well as its challenges. The process is ongoing, and there is reason to think what comes next will bring back to Earth benefits not just for Japan but for the world.

  The Phases of Japan’s Space History

To appreciate how Japan’s space ecosystem functions today, consider where it started. Research and development of space technologies began in the 1950s, and when the Ohsumi research satellite launched in 1970, Japan was just the fourth country to put a domestic payload in orbit via an indigenous launch system. This period, from the 1950s until the 1990s, can be characterized as the R&D phase in Japan’s space history, according to Dr. Masami Onoda, director of the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency’s Washington office.

“When the R&D phase was mostly completed around the 1990s, there was a turning point,” she said. “Globally, the user needs, applications and commercial industry were starting to take off, and there was a worldwide change.”

For Japan, part of this change included the 2003 consolidation of the Institute of Space and Astronautical Science, the National Aerospace Laboratory, and the National Space Development Agency of Japan. Together, they became JAXA. During this phase, the iconic H-2 launch system family, and the Epsilon with it, put more experiments and satellites into orbit. The International Space Station Japanese Experiment Module (aka Kibo) was built and sent to Kennedy Space Center for launch on the NASA STS-124 Mission. The Quasi-Zenith Satellite System (an enhancement of the U.S. GPS) was conceived and entered development. And in this phase came the Basic Space Law in 2008.

“The Basic Space Law changed the structure of the Japanese space policy and programs. With the structural change, the Cabinet Office set up the Office of National Space Policy, secretary to the Strategic Headquarters for Space Policy headed by the Prime Minister, which can be seen as analogous to the U.S. National Space Council. This change makes a huge difference.”

The space ecosystem in Japan emerged into a strategic national effort that includes a focus on industry and security, which Dr. Onoda said “brought a lot of life to the ecosystem since the 2000s.”

Today, it appears that Japan is entering a third phase in its space journey. In June 2020, it released a revision to its “Basic Plan on Space Policy,” which focuses on four core areas: ensuring space security; contributing to disaster management, national resilience and resolving global issues; creating new knowledge through space science and exploration; and realizing economic growth and innovation.

These goals command a larger space budget: 449.8 billion yen ($4.17 billion) in FY2021, nearly 25% more than a year prior. The budget supplies funding for continued development of the new H3 launch system, for satellite programs, and for a planned expansion of the Space Operations Squadron, a space defense unit within the Japan Air Self-Defense Force. Perhaps most exciting, however, is the funding for JAXA’s participation in NASA’s Artemis Program and Japan’s contributions to the lunar Gateway construction.

“JAXA has approximately $500 million for exploration, including contributions to Artemis, such as the Gateway development, in the JFY2021 budget and that will be carried out toward the end of the 2020s,” said Dr. Onoda. “If everything goes as planned, by the 2030s, we might see people going to Gateway regularly. Once we have learned how to do that, then we can start thinking about going on to Mars.”

The long-term mission to Mars is paved in part with the natural successor to Hayabusa2 — JAXA’s Martian Moons eXploration (MMX) mission. Scheduled to launch in 2024, MMX seeks to explore the Martian moon Phobos, to touch down, collect a sample, and then bring it back to Earth. It is unrivaled in its ambition and a quintessentially Japanese space mission. High stakes, never attempted, difficult to execute, and if past is prologue, we will soon be studying Phobosian rocks in Earthly labs.

But that is only part of Japan’s space story. For any spacefaring nation, exploration and sustainable activity beyond Earth takes a robust network of commercial enterprises, and here too the country is charting a unique course.

  A Frontier Spirit for Earthly Benefit

The Japanese space industry is profitable. In FY2019, space industry sales were $3.29 billion, according to a report from the Society of Japanese Aerospace Companies. Sales resulted from space vehicles, ground facilities, and software, but what is most interesting is where revenue may grow in the years to come.

There are three commercial domains in the Japanese space industrial system: companies supplying materials and services for government missions; established aerospace companies providing services to commercial clients; and the new space startup community. These domains are not mutually exclusive, but they function and are funded in different ways.

Similar to other nations, government initiatives are made possible by vendors providing technology and systems manufactured according to public sector requirements. The prime contractors are large Japanese enterprises that work across numerous industries. For example, Mitsubishi Heavy Industries (MHI) is working with JAXA to produce the new H3 launch system, and separately, IHI Corp. provides JAXA’s solid-fuel Epsilon launch system. A cascading benefit from providing space technology for JAXA and other organizations is the intellectual capital and business capabilities that can be used for commercial space activities, such as selling launch services to customers around the world.

It is the third domain, the new space community, that is most compelling because these businesses are forced to solve a three-part challenge: secure funding, develop technology and services, and conduct business development, all simultaneously and on a global stage.

An analysis from the SPACETIDE Foundation showed that from 2014 to 2020, 44% of investments in Japanese space companies came from corporations, while 30% came from venture capital and virtually none came from angel investors or private equity — two sources that are significant funders of space start-ups elsewhere in the world.

“Overseas, the main investors [in space start-ups] are professional investors, angel investors and venture capital,” said Masayasu Ishida, president and CEO of SPACETIDE. “In Japan, the main investors are governmental funds and large corporations. The space business takes a long time to make money, so space start-ups need an investor who can offer a long payback period.”

Why are corporations investing? Mr. Ishida cites three reasons:

The prestige that comes with showing a “frontier spirit” and a public image of a cutting-edge corporation;

The opportunity to invest early in what is forecast to be a highly lucrative market (exceeding $1 trillion over the next two decades, according to The Space Report); and,

To access technology that can support existing business (e.g., satellite data for advanced driver assistance systems).

“While Japan has been in an economic downturn since the 1990s, many of the larger corporations have abandoned R&D to invest in sales rather than science,” said Masashi Sato, SPACETIDE director and COO. “Since they lost their R&D capability, they came up with a new idea to invest in open innovation and new venture fields. This arose at the same time as the new government space policy, and that enabled space startups to get funding from corporations and also the government. It allowed them to take on the challenging position to make something new.”

The Japanese government plays an important funding role, such as through the Innovation Network Corporation of Japan (a public-private investment fund) and the Development Bank of Japan (which is government-owned).

“The Japanese government sees the space sector as important for the nation’s future economic growth,” said Mr. Sato. “The government sees space technology as an enabler to overcome barriers to machine automation, ubiquitous connectivity, Industry 4.0 and digitalization.”

No surprise then that the Japanese government’s Space Industry Vision 2030 aspires to double the domestic space industry within 10 years. To be sure, there is the potential for the domestic market to sustain space enterprises that provide data, communications and other outputs from space-based infrastructure, but that market is not yet mature. This is in part because, as Mr. Sato said, the Japanese economy has not yet undergone a full digital transformation where such data and services are needed at scale.

By this, Japanese space companies must seek customers outside of their home market, which presents a challenge. New businesses engaging in technically demanding and expensive enterprise must compete with companies in the global market that are already established and funded by eager angel investors and other private equity. As a result, the more than 40 new space companies in Japan are targeting areas of space access and use that are somewhat less crowded in terms of new space businesses, such as on-orbit satellite servicing, mass tourism, space mining, and pure exploration. There are many examples, and a good one is ispace, Inc. In it, the full picture of Japan’s space ecosystem becomes clear.

  The Path Forward Takes Talent

The Google Lunar XPRIZE challenged privately funded groups to land on the Moon, travel 500 meters, and send back HD video of the feat. No one won. Team HAKUTO, managed by ispace, kept going after the competition was called, and in 2022, they will launch for the Moon on a SpaceX Falcon 9. The mission next year aims for a soft landing, and a second mission in 2023 aspires to deliver another lander carrying a rover, which will be deployed for surface exploration. The initial business model is to serve as the transport for customer payloads to and over the Moon’s surface, filling the essential gap between space transportation and lunar experimentation.

“We don’t know yet how big the cislunar economy could be in the best case scenario,” said ispace founder and CEO Takeshi Hakamada. “However, the figures we assume are that around the 2040s, 1,000 people are living and working on the lunar surface, and more than 10,000 people are traveling from the Earth to the Moon. That is the image we have, and according to the state of activities on the lunar surface, we can calculate what the economy could be.”

Mr. Hakamada pointed to the 2019 U.S. Air Force Space Command study predicting that the space economy will contribute at least 10% of global GDP by the 2060s and said the cislunar economy will undoubtedly play a major role in that potential. To get there requires a chain of human ingenuity and diligence, and that necessitates a global space-ready workforce that is currently too small. In Japan, the overall space workforce was 8,870 workers in 2018, according to The Space Report.

“There are not enough people,” said Mr. Hakamada. “We are struggling to hire the talent. Engineers but also the business side as well. In Japan, space engineers are not enough to support all the companies so we are competing with each other to hire the best talent. We are also hiring engineers from outside Japan.”

This is not a challenge unique to Japan. All nations and companies are striving to find the necessary talent, and increasingly, the solution is to draw professionals from other fields and from other countries.

“From the startup perspective, the key element is systems engineering,” said Mr. Ishida. “The process of systems engineering, architecture design and other areas are extremely important. Taking talented people from other industries is important for the sustainable growth of space start-ups.”

Mr. Sato added that businesses also need people to conduct sales, interact with the customer, and communicate the needs to the engineers and mission designers. Making matters more challenging, Japan has multiple industries that all require similar skill sets, and by that, the Japanese space sector is competing not just with other space enterprises but also with companies across the marketplace. And there is yet another issue.

“In the U.S., there is a lot of fluidity in the labor market,” said Dr. Onoda. “That is not yet the case in Japan, and people do not move jobs so much. So in some cases at JAXA, we provide cross-appointments or other opportunities to work at private companies. It is an exchange of talent with the commercial sector.”

For Japan and the world, the talent shortage remains an outstanding question, although one path forward is focusing on education for current students, re-skilling and upskilling the current workforce, and fostering a global culture of life-long learning. A key asset in this is that space awes every person. Everyone has looked up to the night sky and wondered about the possibilities of what might be accomplished and if they could play a part.

The Hayabusa2 spacecraft is currently more than 122 million km from Earth on a 10-year orbital path to reach asteroid 1998 KY26 in July 2031. A decade after it made history dropping Ryugu samples to Earth, it will make history again as one of the longest lived and most traveled spacecraft. Where will we be? Perhaps hundreds of people will be traveling to the Moon, and our sights will be set on an impending crewed mission to Mars. The stars need to align for that reality to emerge, but with talent development, enterprise growth and international collaboration, our trajectory is promising. If we succeed, Japan’s space ecosystem will be part of the reason why.

Shelli Brunswick is chief operating officer of the Space Foundation.

#Space

[moodboardinthecloud]

Rituals for healthy relationships at every stage

By Esther Perel and Mary Alice Miller

Routines get us through the day. Rituals guide us through life.

Routines are concrete repetitive actions that help us develop skills while creating continuity and order. They ground us and create familiarity. Rituals, on the other hand, are routines that are elevated by creativity, driven by intention, and imbued with meaning. They lift us up and create excitement. They also help us say goodbye and process loss. Through repetition, routines and rituals both help us to delineate space and time. They create predictable structures, grounding rhythms, and a calming, stabilizing effect. Routines and rituals have a lot in common, but what makes them different is the key to elevating our relationships.

Rituals function like maps, helping us navigate transitions and major life events such as first dates, weddings, births, anniversaries, heartbreaks, and loss. There isn't a culture that doesn't have rituals to transmit the protocols and meanings of those special events. But we don’t need a special occasion to engage in ceremoniousness. Inviting the concept of ritual into our daily lives converts the mundane into the significant. Jogging every morning is an exercise routine. Walking in the woods together every Sunday afternoon is a ritual for spending quality time together in nature. Setting the table each night is a routine. Decorating the table with flowers, candles, and a special china is a ritual for a perfect date night. Brushing our teeth with our partner every night is a routine. But leaving our partner with a little bit of toothpaste on their toothbrush after a big fight is a ritual that signifies that we might be ready to make up. The difference is in the details and what they symbolize for us.

The Beginning is About Bonding

In the early stages of dating, creating rituals together is about establishing a shared reality. Morning coffee, dinner out, and stopping by a party together is routine. But picking our favorite coffee spot, planning a weekly date night, and meeting each others’ friends signify that “you and me” are becoming a “we.” Exchanging house keys, offering a drawer, and meeting each others’ families means that “we” are integrating our lives more fully.

When we’re really into each other, these initial steps feel natural. Pulled in by affection and attraction, everything feels new and shiny. With so much to learn about each other, newness itself is practically routine. What elevates newness to the status of ritual is creating special vessels that allow for deeper vulnerability. Sharing a playlist of our favorite music from our teenage years, playing “Truth or Dare,” picking a country we’d like to travel to together some day and making its signature dish—each of these activities give permission to reminisce and fantasize together. In the realm of shared dreams, we find new parts of our connection. Affirming and growing that bond as time goes on and as challenges arise is supported by creating rituals that acknowledge, affirm, and grow that bond.

Rituals for Long-Term Healthy Relationships

In long-term partnerships, rituals create continuity and affirmation while highlighting the specialness of the bond. Making rituals a part of our daily lives ensures that we don’t only celebrate our love and closeness on anniversaries—though celebrating anniversaries is one of the most important long-term partnership rituals of them all.

When our lives are woven together, intentionally breaking our routines can become a ritual. Instead of eating cereal at home every morning, go out for a breakfast date. Skip date night, which can be exhausting after a long day, and take a bath together with candles. Make a private email address—a virtual destination separate from the realities of the world—and send each other love letters.

Rituals are a major part of long distance relationships or when we work opposite schedules. Always leaving something for or with the other person is a gesture that helps us feel each other’s presence even when we’re apart.

Rituals are also especially helpful in the transition from parent to partner. Changing clothes, location, light, trading the nursery rhymes for our favorite album, opening a bottle of wine together—these are rituals that signify it’s our time. We've put the kids down; we can focus on ourselves. We can switch from responsibility to play.

On social media, when we asked what rituals people have established in their relationships, you replied with great answers from building pillow forts together to having no phone date nights. You shared that you like to go through pictures together and talk about all the memories associated with each one. The constant theme was unification between two people around a shared story of specialness and meaning. All relationships are stories. Rituals help us tell them.

Rituals Help Us Have A Healthy Relationship With Ourselves

Just as there are ritualized behaviors and practices around engagement, marriage, and all important beginnings, there are rituals around endings. And oh, how well we know them: exchanging the items we once kept at each others’ places, giving the keys back, canceling the trip, unfriending, distributing loyalty among friends, untangling the web that once provided warmth and softness before it felt like a trap. How many of us have hesitated to get rid of an object that felt like the last piece of a former lover? Grief drives home the metaphorical quality of rituals—it’s not about the thing itself; it’s about what it represents.

On social media, you also shared with us rituals that have helped you through breakups. So many of those answers were about self-care and connection with friends and family who remind us that we are still lovable and worthy. Friends who come over to sage the house, take out the ex's belongings, and put new sheets on the bed help with those mourning rituals. Engaging with our closest community is an antidote to the isolation and shame we inevitably can feel after such loss. Coming together with those people and asking them to share their stories of heartbreak and resilience is a ritual that makes the experience slightly more common and normal. It provides evidence that everyone experiences love’s agonies and that love is not a scarcity.

Letting go of a past relationship is a process full of rituals, first with the former partner, then with our communities and perhaps a therapist, and finally with ourselves. Through self-love rituals—like daily journaling, trying something new each week, intentionally taking care of our mental, physical, and emotional health—the intrusive feelings of heartbreak eventually become less frequent. As time goes on, so does life, and so does love. We can never go back in time, but we can always love again—till the day we drop dead. Love matures with age, but love itself is ageless. Once we accept that, we open a door to a new beginning. And life’s most important rituals will be there, providing continuity from chapter to chapter and helping us write the next one.

https://estherperel.com/blog/rituals-for-healthy-relationships

[crossedbeams]

Transitory - Trinity Ch.10

Genre: Casefile | Fandom: The X-Files x The Fall x Sreetcar | Rating: Mature | Setting: Circa 2012. Canon compliant | Chapters: 3/6 of Part 2

Trinity Part I

Chapter 1 - Perfume || Chapter 2 - Impression || Chapter 3 - Connection Chapter 4 - Delusion || Chapter 5-  Confrontation || Chapter 6 - Post Mortem

Trinity Part I

Prologue - Purgatory || Chapter 1 - Animosity || Chapter 2 - History

This chapter is rated teen+ for a little sexual content. Also it’ angsty AF. sorry!

TRINITY: PART II CHAPTER III - TRANSITORY

Scully wakes up on hotel-crisp sheets after not nearly long enough. Her mind is racing but her body tells her it’s not morning yet. The clock is showing 11:15pm and she’s only been asleep for around four hours, the remains of a room-service salad drying out on the desk. Stella Gibson, with her brusquely dismissive, “You’ve been up at least 36 hours. Check yourself in, the Bureau will cover the bill, and we’ll discuss what happens next in the morning,” is staying two floors up.

The end of the afternoon had passed in a hurry of meetings and memorandums, an updated file  arriving from the morgue complete with forms declaring that Scully’s late night examination had been totally by-the-book defusing Stanning’s fury from apoplectic to merely seething. He was biding his time, Scully could tell; smarting because Blanche Dubois had refused to speak to him when she’d finished with the sketch artist, affronted when Stella had gone straight to AD Gilmore to request approval to involve the Miami field office in their hunt for Jane Doe, his macho bravado growing louder with every small step the women of the taskforce took forward without his input. And it wasn’t that they sought to exclude him, Scully had realised as the day wore on, it was quite simply that he wasn’t willing to listen or participate until it suited his purpose.

When the police artist had come into the situation room with an e-fit sketch from Blanche’s description, Stanning had stood right next to them as Stella listed the databases she wanted it run against, he was well within earshot of Scully’s suggestion that they also check it against hospital staff records in the cities of interest. Short of profound deafness, there was no way he could have missed Scully’s subsequent explanation that most intravenous drugs capable of killing with the required speed and subtlety are controlled substances. and that access to such drugs makes it possible their perp is a medical professional of some sort. Scully could even have sworn that Agent Stanning had nodded his approval to extend their search parameters, but by the time they reached the last meeting of the day, Scully’s reiteration of those same suggestions to the gathered taskforce had been met with a unsubtle, definitely not under-the-breath, “Would be great if your little consultant would run this stuff past me before sharing with the room,” to Gibson, standing stonily at his side.

Scully suspects that Stanning’s hostility towards her has a lot more to do with Stella Gibson than Scully herself, but she hasn’t had a chance to ask what might be at the root of it. Things between her and the British detective have thawed as the day has worn on, the previous night’s unpleasantness put aside for now in the interest of furthering the case; Blanche’s clear preference for Scully has changed the landscape and they are both still adapting, Stella has made space for Scully’s ideas and investigative victories despite her instinct to hold all the cards. It’s imperfect but it is working.

Tomorrow will be another rebalancing, and in the honesty of midnight darkness Scully prays that she will be asked to stay, that Stella’s initial promise of partnership will be renewed and the day will carry her to the morgue to assist with processing, or to a crime scene, anywhere where she can work, help and be useful in the search for the truth. This case has burrowed its way into her mind and she feels that familiar itch of unfinished business, of injustice, her mind rejecting sleep in favour of going over the evidence. After all, the structure and strictures of investigation, of neatly typed reports and linked evidence is a much kinder and more familiar cause for insomnia than the choking misery of Mulder’s absence which has become her frequent bedfellow these last few months.

Trying not to count back the nights where she’s reached for him and found only a cold pillow, Scully flicks on the TV, hoping for some numbing background noise. Instead, she finds her own face.

The photograph is old, maybe as much as a decade. She vaguely remembers having it taken for a hospital ID on a day when her hair was at an awkward in-between stage after being on the run, and next to Stella’s pristine police portrait she looks like the scruffy younger sister. Clicking on the sound, she catches the end of a report identifying her as a possible consultant and speculating as to what could have brought two women from such wildly different backgrounds on to the suspected serial case. When they cut back to the anchor, Scully recognises one of the men from from outside the station, and she realises that, in absence of any official statement to the press, she and Stella are likely the closest thing anyone has to a story. She only hopes that- and then in a flash Mulder’s face is on screen, and it’s too late, the potted official history of their partnership laid out for the late-night news audience with the standard side order of ridicule and sensationalism. She feels a pang then, for the old days where they’d have laughed off the bad press over bad coffee, the marks on each of their bodies reassuring them that the truth they sought was valid and important, their scars an armour of proof that only the other could see or understand. It’s a fond memory, and it gives Scully the excise she has been pretending not to be waiting for. If her involvement has made the news, there is a chance it will make it to Mulder. She has to call. She pretends her heart isn’t racing at the thought of hearing his voice.

Scully calls their landline on autopilot. It’s the closest phone to Mulder’s desk and she knows that is likely where he will be. Late night calls are a staple of their relationship, or at least they had been back when they still talked, miles of telephone wire condensing to nothing under the magnetism of their connection, his voice in her ear more intimate than the touch of any man who had come before him. Even at the beginning, his sincerity, his fervour had stripped away her cynicism, if not her scepticism, and left her open and vulnerable to everything he was, everything that they became… everything they have lost.

He picks up on an inhale but says nothing, forcing her to break the silence. Again.

‘Mulder, it’s me.’

And she wishes she could see his face, because his ‘Scully?’ is a question she doesn’t know how to answer. It’s not a ‘Where the hell are you and why have you got my phone?’ It’s not a ‘Why haven’t you come home?’ It’s ‘Why are you calling me Scully?’ and she doesn’t know how to answer him.

She’d planned to tell him that she was assisting the FBI, not to worry and sorry she’d snuck out but he seemed busy. She’d thought perhaps she’d tempt him into the case, saying, ‘Please if you have any “Mulder hunches” call me because this guy is a sick fuck and I want to catch him’ and meaning, ‘I miss you. I miss us.’ But now frustration and loss and rage are fighting in her throat and, ‘Mulder I love you; why don’t you see me slipping away?’ is tangled up in, ‘Did you even notice I was gone?’ and ‘Why the hell haven’t you checked your phone in two days? I could have been dead in a ditch and you wouldn’t know, wouldn’t even care, you self-involved bastard!’

In the end, nothing comes out. And that’s what she tells him.

‘It’s nothing Mulder. I’m fine, I was just... Don’t worry.’

And he tells her goodbye and puts the phone down and Scully feels, just for a second, like she is nothing. That it has all been for nothing.

Mulder’s phone is heavy in her hand, one more thing of his he seems content to live without, and Scully lets it drop to the bed and get lost in the dark. He’d sworn they wouldn’t get lost in the dark, but it’s not the first promise he’s broken.

Determinedly swinging her legs out of bed, Scully drags workout clothes out of her luggage and pulls them on, transplanting the energy of her anger, the tension of her hurt into her muscles and as soon as her sneakers are laced she’s out of the door and headed for the health club. She skips the elevator, jogs down the ten flights of stairs and thanks God and whoever signs off Stella Gibson’s expenses for the Hilton and their 24/7 fitness centre.

The gym is empty and the music is off, but that suits Scully fine. She picks a treadmill by the window overlooking the pool for the distracting chlorine-fuelled fractals the water casts on the walls and ups the incline until she can feel her thighs start to burn. Mulder likes to run outside, to escape, but for Scully running has always been a form of punishment, penitence for that extra dinner roll, her legs pounding Hail Marys into the conveyor until her lungs burn and her mind empties. It’s not about getting anywhere or away from anything, it’s about staying the course. Tonight she will run until she forgets to feel hurt by what she’s left behind, until she forgets to be afraid of what comes next.

Ten minutes in and movement below catches the edge of her consciousness, figures intruding on the edge of her pool-rippled blank space. She keeps running, keeps gazing but they do not retreat, and Scully finds herself leaning in, observing the people below from her vantage point as if through a microscope.

There’s a familiarity to the arch of the woman’s back as she slips into the spa tub in a seal-black line. There’s a recognisable arrogance to the way she rises up on her knees and leans into her companion, to her dedication to her own pleasure as she slips the straps of her bathing suit down her shoulders in a public area, not caring who might be watching the sensuous skid of fingers down her now naked back. It’s not until the woman throws her head back, her lips tight with pleasure, that Scully realises why the stranger seems so familiar.

It’s Stella, her hair slicked back and dark from the pool. She seems as confident here, half naked and straddling someone in an empty jacuzzi, as she had in the boardroom. Scully hits the emergency stop on the treadmill, meaning to rush away, ashamed of her accidental voyeurism but as she is about to step back the scene below her changes. Stella rolls away from her partner to recline against the edge of the pool, and as she settles in a languid pose, somehow both soft and hard in one liquid pose, she looks up and notices her audience.

Scully freezes, still poised to run but now there’s a dare in Stella’s eyes, a wicked invitation to stay a little longer, to see how far things go, and Scully finds herself starting the treadmill again, a low setting, no incline, a feeble excuse to spectate Stella’s conquest.

Without relinquishing eye contact, Stella slides over to reclaim her partner, pulling them into her lap and arching her neck to give them access to the ivory swoop of her skin. A slight smile curves her lips when Scully eventually realises the body draped over her colleague is that of another woman. Scully is not surprised, there have been moments where Stella’s glance has skirted the edges of seductive, and remembering them now, wondering if she encouraged them, pins Scully more firmly in the sweet place between fight and flight. She runs harder, looking for another explanation for the heat rising in her cheeks and settling in places she will not acknowledge when Stella’s fingers dip playfully under the edges of the other woman’s bikini. She should leave. She doesn’t want this. Does she? Scully has never been a voyeur but the adrenaline coursing through her body from the exercise and the taboo of what she is watching is intoxicating. And so she keeps jogging, keeps making excuses and chalking up her shortness of breath to exertion.

A quarter mile later and the dark haired woman’s hands have vanished from view, the unfocused blue of Stella’s gaze giving Scully a pretty good idea of what they might be doing, though from her vantage point all she can see is bubbles. For a mad moment she considers going downstairs, some insidious voice in the back of her mind telling Scully that Stella wouldn’t mind, but even this much, even dragging her own lower lip into her mouth as Stella’s eyes finally snap shut and biting down to feel the corresponding tightness in her nipples and between her legs feels sinful. It’s a mix of sexy and sordid that without Stella’s gaze to hold her in place feels overwhelming, and as reason crashes in on this early hours insanity, Scully leaves. She doesn’t glance back to where deft fingers have now vanished inside bikini bottoms and definitely doesn’t acknowledge the ache between her own legs until she has reached the safety of her room.

Locking the door and dimming all the lights, as if that can hide the shameful desperation of her desire, Scully strips off and lets the shower head and her fingers finish what started ten floors down. It’s a technique she’s perfected in the months spent waiting for Mulder, a quick release so she can go to bed satisfied if not sated.

She remembers the first time, she’d put it off for weeks, unwilling to accept that yet another of their connections had failed, until her body was screaming to be touched, and then finally, desperately, Scully had crawled onto Mulder’s side of the bed, head deep in his pillow, and she’d touched herself pretending it was him. Afterwards she cried herself to sleep with loneliness of it, waking up alone with the evidence, before relocating to the shower where at least it felt more like an emotional ablution than a last resort. She tells herself the same thing now, that it’s a natural urge, a hormonal release, and has absolutely nothing to do with whatever devilish desire had kept her watching downstairs, and that the uncharacteristic act of watching has nothing to do with what is missing at home. Scully’s almost convinced herself of both lies by the time she crawls back into bed, and she drifts off to dreams of running, of following Mulder down a dark and endless tunnel, calling out for him to wait and then looking back to see Stella Gibson chasing behind, face bright with freedom and laughing as the gap begins to close.

<< Previous Chapter

[63824peace]

Tuesday, 22nd of november 2005

A friend pulled me into conversation this morning without even saying hello. "I saw a Quake-Cloud last week. It was terrible, frightful... just awful."

He claimed to have clearly seen a cloud shaped like an arrow, pointing from the sky to Roppongi Hills. He said it was obviously a Quake-Cloud... a premonition that Roppongi would suffer tremors.

The sight had shocked him so severely that he couldn't tell anyone about it until today.

"Last week?" I said. "But when? Which day?"

"I don't remember... perhaps Thursday."

"I hadn't heard any news of this."

"No, there's no mistaking it!" he insisted. "I saw a Quake-Cloud!"

He usually watches all sorts of television programs related to these matters. He's probably an expert by now.

"A Quake-Cloud, eh?"

What do Quake-Clouds even look like? Are they magnetic fields created from seismic distortions in the bedrock? I'm clueless on these matters.

I listened to him doubtfully, and he seemed to lose patience. The prophet muttered his forecast: "A huge earthquake will hit within two weeks." He appeared somehow relieved, and then he hastily tottered away.

A big earthquake, huh... maybe it'll come, and maybe it won't. If I start to worry about something as small as this, I might as well worry forever.

I should still prepare for the worst though. I have readied myself for the reality that a huge earthquake will hit someday.

I relayed the story as a joke to Matsuhanan, and he reacted with a serious expression.

"What's wrong?" I said.

Matsuhanan lowered his voice. "I'm not saying this to scare you, but--" His voice cut on the word. He leaned closely and hardened his expression. "I dreamed of an earthquake over the weekend."

"So?" I said. "What about it?"

"I had a dream, and in it we all got hit by an earthquake."

"Hmm. Well, still, that's just the sort of thing you'd expect from a dream, right?"

"However," he said. "On top of that, my wife also dreamed of an earthquake that very same morning."

Two similar events can happen, and we can still dismiss them as coincidences. Something more enormous than mere coincidence emerges when three similar events occur. How ominous....

Everyone who had not paid attention to our conversation earlier now listened intently. The air thickened, and the very atmosphere changed immediately.

Matsuhanan and I had both experienced the Kobe Earthquake. Memories from that time bubbled to the surface of my thoughts. I don't ever want to experience or see anything like that again. I decided to shut off these negative emotions as soon as possible.

"So you and your wife both dreamed of earthquakes? The answer's pretty simple here--you must have been on top of your wife without knowing it!"

"H-hey! That's not true!"

"Sexy Matsuhanan!"

"Oh, be serious."

I managed to ease the tense, nervous atmosphere with a little juvenile obscenity. We settled the matter with laughter.

We've seen some pretty scandalous problems lately regarding cover-ups of some buildings' vulnerability to earthquakes. The news broke when everyone concerned themselves with earthquake preparations. "How can we prepare for the big earthquake?" they asked. "And what will we do after the earthquake actually hits?"

I heard that some buildings can topple even under a small earthquake. If a building will collapse under just a small one, what will we do when the big one hits?

Dangers fill our world.

An earthquake will definitely hit us one day. No one knows when, of course, but Tokyo can't avoid its fate. It may hit tomorrow, within ten years, or even fifty years from now.

Still, we can't squander time worrying. We live in Tokyo, and we can't leave it. We certainly won't abandon it. We live with the possibility of disaster every day. Most importantly, we must avoid panic while also keeping ourselves prepared for our future quake.

A long time ago, Toho produced a movie called Jishin Retto (1980). Kaneto Shindo wrote the film's scenario; he's one of my favorite directors. The last scene disappointed me because it was just a rehash of the famous panic movie, Earthquake (1974).

The film's contents aside, the advertisement copy was great. It went something like this: "I knew it would hit one day... but I never thought it would hit today."

Over the past weekend I finally got to watch the bonus disc's extra footage from War of the Worlds. It lasted a total of 165 minutes.

They presented the Previsualization Method developed by Industrial Light & Magic (ILM). The method draws out the full potential of scenes that use a lot of CG and CGI.

Film-makers traditionally edited the CGI and V/A composition into the film after they had finished shooting. There's a problem with that method though. According to these traditional methods, we needed to shoot the film against a blue screen background. We could have a hard time feeling out where the non-existent objects, scenery, and atmosphere belonged in the shooting studio.

Each person's imagination differs from other people's imaginations. We have a lot of room for miscommunication and misunderstandings. The shooting studio only becomes more chaotic when everyone on the set works out of sync with the total scenario conveyed on the blue screen.

ILM invented Previsualization to solve this problem. Think of it as a storyboard transferred into 3D images.

Each person can coordinate himself with the total scenario when he examines the Previsualized images in the shooting studio. People can arrive at a consensus understanding among themselves before they shoot... the actors, the special effects team, the stuntmen, and the CG team.

We can use this to determine how all the visual elements will correlate. We'll also work more efficiently with ILM's Previsualization Method. Production costs will drop. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

James Cameron made a small model of his set while working on Terminator 2 in order to shorten his production period. He used a small camera to test various angles, and then he started to shoot. He cut back on the time needed to make his set that way.

Previsualization uses the same idea. We can decide how to adjust our special effects and our camera placement by moving character models through scenery in 3D space. We can decide how to handle our set, visual characteristics, props, and CGI usage after selecting the camera location.

This is how they produced War of the Worlds so quickly. Spielberg is known for a quick turnaround on his films, but Previsualization made this one possible.

I thought about how similar Previsualization seems to resemble our own development methods when I saw it in motion. We naturally used those methods when games became 3D in the late 1990s. We didn't pick it up from anyone... it's simply necessary to make our games.

We first construct the game using simple models and scenery. We treat the cutscenes the same way because they require cinematic effects. We test the module while minimizing all our resources, such as processing speed, MGS-defining characteristics, camera, and general operations. We must reduce everything to its bare qualities in our Previsualization Phase.

Once we fix everything using trial and error, we move on to full-scale production. The film industry's shooting phase equates to this.

Likewise, we don't use the older methods of making the game's map. Instead of drawing it directly, we structure the game according to the script team's provisional map. Once we've done that, we hand everything over to the designers. The pre-production period always lasts the longest while making a game.

The film industry could only have realized its Previsualization Method through digital technology. Film has finally evened out with the game-making process. Some aspects of game-making are behind the times. Other parts, however, are well ahead.

I ate lunch at the Nishi Azabu restaurant La Brace. I ordered spaghetti with ground chicken and Chinese cabbage. I wanted a drink of wine, but I controlled myself. Customers all around me wet their throats.

It's only on the lunch menu, but that was a big salad.

The pasta tasted delicious too. I paid a cheap price considering how much I ate.

We held our hiring interviews in the afternoon. After that we worked on our projects for MGS4 until evening, just like yesterday.

The project certainly is fun. I'd love to work on it twenty-four hours a day. I only want to create.

I'll totally shift my focus onto MGS4 once our new PSP project gets off the ground. I'll try to avoid entanglements such as interviews, clients, meetings, or lectures. I have to focus on my work during the pre-production and Previsualization periods.

At the bookstore I bought the fifth volume of Complete Cobra. I buy manga to read at a later date these days. I haven't got time to read any of them now, and the same really goes for novels. I finished reading Mr. Kurokawa's book Ansho, and I have started reading Parker's latest, Melancholy Baby.

I received my copy of NewWORDS, an entertainment magazine for mature adults. Kadokawa Publishing will release it November 25.

The cover really impacts the reader. It's a shot of Natalie Portman with her head entirely shaved! It will catch the attention of people in the bookstore. The magazine's first issue comes with a UMD Video that contains an episode of Blood+. I think it's really hip that they're not just including a regular DVD.

I wish this mature entertainment magazine great success.

I am actually helping NewWORDS by giving them an interview and writing introductions to movies. I'd like many adults to read it.

People in the past used to call Otaku a new type of subculture. Now we have all become adults. These Otaku now work as members of society, and they pay the usual taxes. They register to vote, and they participate in politics. They have married and now take care of families with children. They have become aware of their larger human community.

The Otaku's loneliness has disappeared, but his responsibilities have increased. These Otaku swore never to grow up -- yet they grew up without even noticing.

Nonetheless, games and anime still mean a lot to them.

People started calling manga "graphic novels." Manga became acceptable as dignified adult entertainment as time moved on. We also ought to have anime and games made specifically for adults.

But here's the question: will supply or demand come first?

Nothing will happen if we just wait for an answer. We're not looking at an issue of "When will it happen?" We're dealing with an issue of ‘Who will do it?’"

Who will innovate products to serve this market?

Now that I think on it, people in the last century used to call Otaku a new type of human being or an alien race. I think that Otaku should take a lesson from War of the Worlds -- they should return as adults from underground.

Our bodies retain the sturdy weight of our time's residue. As adults at last, we shall shed the filth on our own.

[toomanysinks]

Huawei sues America as SoftBank spends more money

Today, a bunch of analysis on stories we have been covering the last few weeks.

You’re reading the Extra Crunch Daily. Like this newsletter? Subscribe for free to follow all of our discussions and debates.

SoftBank wants to spend more billions

Kiyoshi Ota/Bloomberg via Getty Images

Three inter-related stories today on SoftBank and its Vision Fund. First, an analysis from my Bangkok-based colleague Jon Russell, who notes that controversies surrounding the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi hasn’t deterred the Vision Fund from its investments in the Asia-Pacific region:

The $100 billion megafund has done 21 deals over the last two quarters, that’s as more than in the other quarters of the previous year combined, according to data from Crunchbase, thanks to an uptick from Asia. Since the October 2 murder, there have been 11 investments in U.S. companies, seven in Asia, two in Europe and one in Latin America. Just this week, the fund completed a near $1.5 billion investment in Southeast Asia-based ride-hailing company Grab.

While U.S. and European firms have more options, and therefore, perhaps deserve more scrutiny, Softbank’s cash is increasingly the only game in town for startups in Asia, where there are fewer alternatives for later stage capital outside of large Chinese private equity firms or tech giants — which come with their own risks.

You should read the rest of Jon’s data analysis of where the Vision Fund is investing and why.

I want to comment though on this incessant framing of Khashoggi and SoftBank by the press. By now, we all know that Saudi Arabia and Abu Dhabi are the plurality of the Vision Fund’s capital. It’s a bit of an unfortunate circumstance, as I wrote in my year-end report on SoftBank:

There have been strong calls for Masayoshi Son to avoid Saudi Arabia in future fundraises, but that is complicated for one simple reason: there are just not that many money managers in the world who can a) invest tens of billions of dollars into firms backing risky technology investments, and b) are willing to ignore SoftBank’s massive debt stack and existential risks.

The murder of Khashoggi was heinous and wrong. Yet, there is a whole spectrum of bad LPs. Chinese government funds are among the heaviest investors in Silicon Valley as well, and of course, its record on human rights is hardly out of sync with Saudi Arabia. Many family offices with ties to unsavory industries and corruption permeate the LP lists at prominent venture capital funds.

I’d love to see less money laundering in Silicon Valley and cleaner capital sources. Until founders, VCs, and employees jointly work to make clean capital a priority though, I think the constant focus on one-off cases is shrill and mostly unhelpful.

The second major story is that SoftBank is launching another multi-billion dollar fund, this time in Latin America. The Innovation Fund, as my colleague Ingrid Lunden wrote, has $2 billion in capital to invest in the region. From the article:

This is the first time that SoftBank has created a fund of this kind focused on a single region — although it has spearheaded big bets into specific countries like India in the past — and it appears to the be first time that it has formally established a group to help other portfolio companies expand in a region, although this is likely something that SoftBank would have been doing on an informal basis before now.

We will have more on global expansion of the internet to the next billion users tomorrow, but suffice it to say, major investors are opening their checkbooks to regions outside the West as billions of consumers join the digital economy and become targets for investment. The first wave was around the seed stage in places like Latin America and Africa, but as that initial wave of startups mature, we can expect growth-stage VCs to start to intensely search for deals.

Finally, we have been tracking SoftBank’s horrifying debt situation for some time, which is complicated by the Japanese government’s goal of increasing competition among the country’s mobile service operators in a bid to lower prices.

Now, Japan’s prime minister Shinzo Abe intends to move forward with such plans. His cabinet this week approved a plan to force mobile operators to lower fees by separating service fees from device costs. Cabinet approval sends the bill to the legislature for a vote. From the Japan Times:

Two of the country’s three major carriers, SoftBank Corp. and KDDI Corp., through its au brand, say they already comply with the new rules, while NTT Docomo Inc. has said it plans to do so this spring.

SoftBank has argued that it is already in a strong position to handle these new laws, but with a new telecom entrant expected from ecommerce giant Rakuten, things are changing rapidly in the normally staid Japanese telco market, and that could put pressure on SoftBank given its debt load.

Huawei and the U.S. both have weak strategies

Photo by Jaap Arriens/NurPhoto via Getty Images

Last night, Huawei announced that it was suing the U.S. over last year’s ban on government agencies buying Huawei equipment, which was passed by Congress as part of the defense authorization bill. Legal scholars say that the lawsuit is highly unlikely to succeed, although it may delay implementation of the ban as the courts handle yesterday’s lawsuit.

Meanwhile, the U.S. continues to ratchet up pressure on its allies to ban Huawei, pressure that hasn’t been well-received.

Far from a nuanced battle over the future of telecommunications infrastructure, the U.S. and Huawei seem to be engaged in a muddy slugfest without a clear strategy on where this fight will lead.

The U.S. continues to demand a ban on Huawei even as it steadfastly refuses to provide evidence of backdoors or other security flaws in the company’s equipment. Given that Huawei’s competitors are almost exclusively American companies, the clear economic benefits of a ban for the U.S. increases the evidentiary standards. The U.S. has failed to provide that evidence.

As TechCrunch’s security editor Zack Whittaker wrote a few weeks ago:

The reality is that China is no more a national security threat than the U.S. is to China, which has its own burgeoning networking equipment business. Just as much as the U.S. and Canada might not want to use Huawei or ZTE equipment in their networks for fear of a surprise cyberattack ten years down the line, why should China, Russia, or any other “frenemy” state choose HPE or Cisco technologies?

Companies have an option: Is the enemy you know better than the one you don’t?

One theory of course is that the U.S. doesn’t have such evidence. Another theory that I would posit is that the U.S. does know about specific backdoors, but wants to use those backdoors for espionage rather than revealing them to the public. Whatever the reason, the continual lack of evidence but constant demands for a ban is stretching the patience for many of America’s most important allies.

Meanwhile, Huawei’s lawsuit is a weak strategy for confronting American intransigence on its cybersecurity. While its equipment has been purchased by rural American telcos due to its cost effectiveness, the U.S. is not a critical market for Huawei. Last year’s ban might have symbolic power, but no more or less than any other regulatory action against the company. If anything, the Streisand effect here is kicking in: more and more Americans (and presumably international news readers) now know about the ban.

Frankly, the U.S. and China are usually much more sophisticated than this.

Other news of companies spending (or not spending) billions

Photo from Lyft

Lyft S-1

I (finally) read through it last night, and I have to say that I have very little to say on it. Since Lyft files its S-1 through the emerging growth companies mechanism, it has to provide less disclosure about its business than a typical listing. I found the S-1 to reveal surprisingly little about the health of Lyft’s revenue model other than the obvious jaw-dropping losses. There is a little bit of cohort analysis, and some numbers around user spend, but very little in the way of city-by-city market share or changing spending and earning patterns of drivers and riders.

That said, one facet of the S-1 I found interesting is the cap table. Given Lyft’s profligate spending, it is interesting to see how much its early VC investors have been diluted over the years. Andreessen Horowitz owns 6.25%, Alphabet owns 5.33%, seed investor Floodgate owns 0.63% of the company, and most other firms are below the 5% reporting threshold. No one at Floodgate is crying at the math of 0.0063 x BIG HUGE VALUATION, but it is quite something to see how much these ownership percentages shrink on high-spending startups.

Remixing infrastructure

We’ve talked about infrastructure costs a lot around here, so it is exciting to see some great investments in the space. Remix grabbed $15 million in VC, which should help the SaaS urban transportation planning startup continue to grow.

There is a huge opportunity for new companies to enter these sorts of planning spaces — software here tends to be extremely old, as Bloomberg recently discussed. These may not be Lyft-scale businesses, but there is a serious chunk of change to made here, while improving society and the environment to boot.

Also on infrastructure, I finally got around to that Guardian article on concrete. I found it quite compelling:

After water, concrete is the most widely used substance on Earth. If the cement industry were a country, it would be the third largest carbon dioxide emitter in the world with up to 2.8bn tonnes, surpassed only by China and the US.

It’s worth the 15 minute read if you haven’t thought about the core material of most structures built on the planet today.

Obsessions

Perhaps some more challenges around data usage and algorithmic accountability

We have a bit of a theme around emerging markets, macroeconomics, and the next set of users to join the internet.

More discussion of megaprojects, infrastructure, and “why can’t we build things”

Thanks

To every member of Extra Crunch: thank you. You allow us to get off the ad-laden media churn conveyor belt and spend quality time on amazing ideas, people, and companies. If I can ever be of assistance, hit reply, or send an email to danny@techcrunch.com.

This newsletter is written with the assistance of Arman Tabatabai from New York

You’re reading the Extra Crunch Daily. Like this newsletter? Subscribe for free to follow all of our discussions and debates.

source https://techcrunch.com/2019/03/07/huawei-sues-america-as-softbank-spends-more-money/

[fmservers]

Huawei sues America as SoftBank spends more money

Today, a bunch of analysis on stories we have been covering the last few weeks.

You’re reading the Extra Crunch Daily. Like this newsletter? Subscribe for free to follow all of our discussions and debates.

SoftBank wants to spend more billions

Kiyoshi Ota/Bloomberg via Getty Images

Three inter-related stories today on SoftBank and its Vision Fund. First, an analysis from my Bangkok-based colleague Jon Russell, who notes that controversies surrounding the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi hasn’t deterred the Vision Fund from its investments in the Asia-Pacific region:

The $100 billion megafund has done 21 deals over the last two quarters, that’s as more than in the other quarters of the previous year combined, according to data from Crunchbase, thanks to an uptick from Asia. Since the October 2 murder, there have been 11 investments in U.S. companies, seven in Asia, two in Europe and one in Latin America. Just this week, the fund completed a near $1.5 billion investment in Southeast Asia-based ride-hailing company Grab.

While U.S. and European firms have more options, and therefore, perhaps deserve more scrutiny, Softbank’s cash is increasingly the only game in town for startups in Asia, where there are fewer alternatives for later stage capital outside of large Chinese private equity firms or tech giants — which come with their own risks.

You should read the rest of Jon’s data analysis of where the Vision Fund is investing and why.

I want to comment though on this incessant framing of Khashoggi and SoftBank by the press. By now, we all know that Saudi Arabia and Abu Dhabi are the plurality of the Vision Fund’s capital. It’s a bit of an unfortunate circumstance, as I wrote in my year-end report on SoftBank:

There have been strong calls for Masayoshi Son to avoid Saudi Arabia in future fundraises, but that is complicated for one simple reason: there are just not that many money managers in the world who can a) invest tens of billions of dollars into firms backing risky technology investments, and b) are willing to ignore SoftBank’s massive debt stack and existential risks.

The murder of Khashoggi was heinous and wrong. Yet, there is a whole spectrum of bad LPs. Chinese government funds are among the heaviest investors in Silicon Valley as well, and of course, its record on human rights is hardly out of sync with Saudi Arabia. Many family offices with ties to unsavory industries and corruption permeate the LP lists at prominent venture capital funds.

I’d love to see less money laundering in Silicon Valley and cleaner capital sources. Until founders, VCs, and employees jointly work to make clean capital a priority though, I think the constant focus on one-off cases is shrill and mostly unhelpful.

The second major story is that SoftBank is launching another multi-billion dollar fund, this time in Latin America. The Innovation Fund, as my colleague Ingrid Lunden wrote, has $2 billion in capital to invest in the region. From the article:

This is the first time that SoftBank has created a fund of this kind focused on a single region — although it has spearheaded big bets into specific countries like India in the past — and it appears to the be first time that it has formally established a group to help other portfolio companies expand in a region, although this is likely something that SoftBank would have been doing on an informal basis before now.

We will have more on global expansion of the internet to the next billion users tomorrow, but suffice it to say, major investors are opening their checkbooks to regions outside the West as billions of consumers join the digital economy and become targets for investment. The first wave was around the seed stage in places like Latin America and Africa, but as that initial wave of startups mature, we can expect growth-stage VCs to start to intensely search for deals.

Finally, we have been tracking SoftBank’s horrifying debt situation for some time, which is complicated by the Japanese government’s goal of increasing competition among the country’s mobile service operators in a bid to lower prices.

Now, Japan’s prime minister Shinzo Abe intends to move forward with such plans. His cabinet this week approved a plan to force mobile operators to lower fees by separating service fees from device costs. Cabinet approval sends the bill to the legislature for a vote. From the Japan Times:

Two of the country’s three major carriers, SoftBank Corp. and KDDI Corp., through its au brand, say they already comply with the new rules, while NTT Docomo Inc. has said it plans to do so this spring.

SoftBank has argued that it is already in a strong position to handle these new laws, but with a new telecom entrant expected from ecommerce giant Rakuten, things are changing rapidly in the normally staid Japanese telco market, and that could put pressure on SoftBank given its debt load.

Huawei and the U.S. both have weak strategies

Photo by Jaap Arriens/NurPhoto via Getty Images

Last night, Huawei announced that it was suing the U.S. over last year’s ban on government agencies buying Huawei equipment, which was passed by Congress as part of the defense authorization bill. Legal scholars say that the lawsuit is highly unlikely to succeed, although it may delay implementation of the ban as the courts handle yesterday’s lawsuit.

Meanwhile, the U.S. continues to ratchet up pressure on its allies to ban Huawei, pressure that hasn’t been well-received.

Far from a nuanced battle over the future of telecommunications infrastructure, the U.S. and Huawei seem to be engaged in a muddy slugfest without a clear strategy on where this fight will lead.

The U.S. continues to demand a ban on Huawei even as it steadfastly refuses to provide evidence of backdoors or other security flaws in the company’s equipment. Given that Huawei’s competitors are almost exclusively American companies, the clear economic benefits of a ban for the U.S. increases the evidentiary standards. The U.S. has failed to provide that evidence.

As TechCrunch’s security editor Zack Whittaker wrote a few weeks ago:

The reality is that China is no more a national security threat than the U.S. is to China, which has its own burgeoning networking equipment business. Just as much as the U.S. and Canada might not want to use Huawei or ZTE equipment in their networks for fear of a surprise cyberattack ten years down the line, why should China, Russia, or any other “frenemy” state choose HPE or Cisco technologies?

Companies have an option: Is the enemy you know better than the one you don’t?

One theory of course is that the U.S. doesn’t have such evidence. Another theory that I would posit is that the U.S. does know about specific backdoors, but wants to use those backdoors for espionage rather than revealing them to the public. Whatever the reason, the continual lack of evidence but constant demands for a ban is stretching the patience for many of America’s most important allies.

Meanwhile, Huawei’s lawsuit is a weak strategy for confronting American intransigence on its cybersecurity. While its equipment has been purchased by rural American telcos due to its cost effectiveness, the U.S. is not a critical market for Huawei. Last year’s ban might have symbolic power, but no more or less than any other regulatory action against the company. If anything, the Streisand effect here is kicking in: more and more Americans (and presumably international news readers) now know about the ban.

Frankly, the U.S. and China are usually much more sophisticated than this.

Other news of companies spending (or not spending) billions

Photo from Lyft

Lyft S-1

I (finally) read through it last night, and I have to say that I have very little to say on it. Since Lyft files its S-1 through the emerging growth companies mechanism, it has to provide less disclosure about its business than a typical listing. I found the S-1 to reveal surprisingly little about the health of Lyft’s revenue model other than the obvious jaw-dropping losses. There is a little bit of cohort analysis, and some numbers around user spend, but very little in the way of city-by-city market share or changing spending and earning patterns of drivers and riders.

That said, one facet of the S-1 I found interesting is the cap table. Given Lyft’s profligate spending, it is interesting to see how much its early VC investors have been diluted over the years. Andreessen Horowitz owns 6.25%, Alphabet owns 5.33%, seed investor Floodgate owns 0.63% of the company, and most other firms are below the 5% reporting threshold. No one at Floodgate is crying at the math of 0.0063 x BIG HUGE VALUATION, but it is quite something to see how much these ownership percentages shrink on high-spending startups.

Remixing infrastructure

We’ve talked about infrastructure costs a lot around here, so it is exciting to see some great investments in the space. Remix grabbed $15 million in VC, which should help the SaaS urban transportation planning startup continue to grow.

There is a huge opportunity for new companies to enter these sorts of planning spaces — software here tends to be extremely old, as Bloomberg recently discussed. These may not be Lyft-scale businesses, but there is a serious chunk of change to made here, while improving society and the environment to boot.

Also on infrastructure, I finally got around to that Guardian article on concrete. I found it quite compelling:

After water, concrete is the most widely used substance on Earth. If the cement industry were a country, it would be the third largest carbon dioxide emitter in the world with up to 2.8bn tonnes, surpassed only by China and the US.

It’s worth the 15 minute read if you haven’t thought about the core material of most structures built on the planet today.

Obsessions

Perhaps some more challenges around data usage and algorithmic accountability

We have a bit of a theme around emerging markets, macroeconomics, and the next set of users to join the internet.

More discussion of megaprojects, infrastructure, and “why can’t we build things”

Thanks

To every member of Extra Crunch: thank you. You allow us to get off the ad-laden media churn conveyor belt and spend quality time on amazing ideas, people, and companies. If I can ever be of assistance, hit reply, or send an email to danny@techcrunch.com.

This newsletter is written with the assistance of Arman Tabatabai from New York

You’re reading the Extra Crunch Daily. Like this newsletter? Subscribe for free to follow all of our discussions and debates.

Via Danny Crichton https://techcrunch.com

[kawaiitidalwavekitten]

Words are the new pixels: Why designers must become storytellers

Screens are disappearing.

There’s a delicious irony in that sentence, right? I mean, you’re probably reading this article on a screen right now, (unless you make a habit of printing out your morning reading). But look around: human-computer interactions no longer exclusively occur through the keyholes of our smartphones, smartwatches and TV screens – something that Bill Gates predicted would happen back in 2002:

“…computers themselves will gradually “disappear” into the fabric of our lives. We are still a long way from a world full of disembodied intelligent machines, but the computing experience of the coming decade will be so seamless and intuitive that–increasingly–we will barely notice it.” ~ Bill Gates, The Disappearing Computer

Granted, he guessed this transition would happen by 2010 – but he was only off by a few years, so give the guy some credit.

As voice recognition and chatbot technology improves, these “invisible” user interfaces will replace screens as the default medium of interaction. Just as many modern websites & applications today tout themselves as “Mobile-First”, it won’t be long before those same innovators are applying the “Voice-First” label to their new offerings. Indeed there’s a non-zero chance that the next killer app may launch with no visual UI at all! Thus, today’s UX designers face a stark choice – evolve beyond the pixel, or look for a new career.

In this post, I’m going to explore some of the reasons behind the sunset of visual-first design, and explain why designers must learn to wield their prose and stories as fluently as they do their imagery, in order to remain relevant in the age of invisible computing.

Let’s get to it, shall we?

Why visual-first design will soon decline

Words are the new pixels

What designers can do to keep their jobs

Why visual-first design will soon decline

If we’re to understand why designers must learn to tell stories without relying on visual aids, we must first grasp the drivers behind the decline of visual-first design.

It’s getting old

In short, predominantly visual design as a source of innovation is approaching the maturity phase of its life-cycle.

Just like any product or service, visual-first design is reaching its maturity

Take a look around – aren’t websites all starting to look kind of samey these days? This is no accident. As new design best practices have been shared, and higher conversion rates achieved, this standardized knowledge has propagated to businesses and website owners all across the web. But this wasn’t always the case. 

In its heyday in the early 2000’s, flashy web design was THE competitive differentiator for any business that wanted to make waves online. The arrival of Macromedia Flash (that’s Adobe Flash, to you kids), brought rich interactivity and visuals to the previously dull and static World Wide Web, and boutique rich media design studios like 2Advanced and Big Spaceship blew people’s minds by pushing the envelope of what we all thought was possible with web design and motion graphics. And fancy pre-loaders (ugh).

With unique and eye-catching design prioritized over everything else, it used to be a generally accepted workflow to have your web designer simply create visual “buckets”, (stuffed with Lorem Ipsum, of course), for the copywriter/client to fill with content after the fact.

We now know this is no longer an appropriate workflow for truly effective web design – in such circumstances, the actual content becomes subservient to the design, which diminishes the effectiveness of both.

It’s being commoditized by economic pressures

Visual design is cheaper, more accessible and more standardized than at any time in the history of the internet. Sites like Upwork, 99Designs and Envato have democratized (some might say commoditized) visual design, while free access to blog tutorials, website themes, and drag & drop tools like Canva, mean that anyone can invest a little time or money, and walk away with a presentable design.

Automated design is coming

Meanwhile, procedural design engines like The Grid and Act-On, can automatically generate entire layouts based solely on the content you feed them, and simultaneously A/B test like 8 gajillion different page variations to find the ultimate killer converting layout. While the output of these tools may not currently match human visual designers at the top of their game, there’s been more than enough interest around them to validate the existence of significant demand for cheaper, automated delivery of good visual design. It’s only a matter of time before the technology catches up – and it’s a problem that need only be solved successfully once to greatly reduce the need for human involvement in the visual design process.

“In 2010 only 2 per cent of Americans worked in agriculture and 20 per cent worked in industry, while 78 per cent worked as teachers, doctors, webpage designers and so forth. When mindless algorithms are able to teach, diagnose and design better than humans, what will we do?” ~ Yuval Noah Harari, Homo Deus: A Brief History of Tomorrow

Voice & text recognition technology has reached a tipping point

Following a powerhouse showing at CES2017, Amazon’s Alexa is the first application of voice interaction to have reached mainstream adoption, with almost 8 million Echo units sold since it debuted in 2015 – and more than two thirds of those sales happened last year.

One stunning stat in particular is that Echo owners have also increased their spending on Amazon by 10% in the last year. Consider all the effort that’s gone into optimizing Amazon to be the best-converting e-commerce store on the internet – and now consider that one of its biggest leaps forward came from removing the visual interface altogether!

It’s also worth noting that voice and chat interfaces are only just getting started, and haptic, gesture-driven interactions aren’t far behind.

The video above was posted in 2015, so who knows how far this technology has come since then?

Visual design is struggling to keep up with consumers’ needs

How many screens exist in the average urban-dweller’s life? Smartphone, TV, laptop, tablet, car, (maybe even the fridge, if they’re painfully early adopter). Effective visual designs today must solve for an ever-growing variety of contexts & circumstances – but the kicker is that each time there’s a new breakthrough in our display technologies and devices, we’re having to almost completely rethink our approach to creating visual interfaces that effectively capitalize on these new capabilities.

  This is becoming unsustainable – we can’t keep redesigning our entire visual methodologies with each new innovation, so there’s an immediate need for an intuitive interface medium that works in almost any context, and has enough future-proofing built into it to stick around for a while.

Words are the new pixels

So, I’m just gonna throw this out there: humans have been communicating with words for about 70,000 years. We all know how to use them and interpret them, and I’d argue that words are the only truly responsive UI element for all computing devices, past, present and future.

Words: they worked back then, and they still work now

Words work at all screen resolutions, on all devices, across all global cultures, and in almost any context. This is an indispensable trait, since your responsibility as a designer is to guide users as they hop between individual interfaces within an overall guided experience.

Words are built for sharing experiences, ideas & stories

No matter how well-designed your website & mobile app are individually, if the transition between them is disjointed, it’s still a bad experience for the user.

As a result, customer preferences are shifting from favoring individually well-designed interfaces – Brand X’s mobile app, Brand Y’s website, and so on – to expecting a seamless overall experience within a single brand, regardless of the context. Businesses are discovering that this seamlessness is essential for driving repeat purchases from customers in a recurring cycle, nicknamed the Loyalty Loop.

In short, users need compelling narratives to guide them through the entire experience – not more infinitely-reconfigurable visual interfaces.

Wall-E is a masterclass in visual storytelling – but few can reach that bar consistently

  Thing is though, unless you’re Pixar, it’s really hard to tell a compelling, understandable story without words. Thus, the shift towards designing cohesive narratives for customers across multiple channels is opening the door to competition with visual designers on their own turf. Copywriters, authors, linguists, voice actors, casting directors, screenwriters, hell even songwriters – are all about to get into the user experience game.

  These folks are already familiar with creating engaging non-visual content – and demand for their expertise is about to explode. Although voice interaction has penetrated the mainstream, there’s still a dire need to build & maintain customer engagement. Alexa’s total library of almost 7,000 Skills (that’s Amazon-lish for “Apps”) currently averages only 3% retention after 2 weeks – ouch!

What designers can do to keep their jobs

LUKE: “With the blast shield down, I can’t even see! How am I supposed to fight?” OBI WAN: “Your eyes can deceive you. Don’t trust them.”

Effective storytelling is as big a differentiator for today’s UX designers as the “unicorn” status of designers who could also code in the ‘00’s and early ‘10’s – so here’s what visual designers should be doing to prepare for this shift.

Lorem Ipsum must die – Content IS the design, so it should be factored into your workflow from the outset of the project. No more punting consideration of content down the road (although Samuel L Ipsum is always welcome entertainment

Understand the structure of a good story – There are tons of ways to do this – learn from storytelling masters like Pixar, read a “Choose your own adventure” book, study Joseph Campbell’s timeless classic “The Hero with a Thousand Faces”, or even play a text-based adventure game like Zork.

Tease apart and deconstruct these examples to learn how words alone can guide and compel users through an experience.

Learn the art of persuasive writing – Don’t fear the encroachment of writers on “your design turf” – embrace them, learn from them. They may know this new, invisible medium better than you do, but you know how to incorporate their work, and harness it to create compelling user experiences.

The legendary Zig Ziglar’s “5 obstacles to a sale”, and the Persuasive Triangle are great frameworks with which to start learning how to write persuasive, compelling copy.

In summary: Learn to use your words

Visual-first design is in decline, so designers must become familiar with telling stories via the invisible media of voice and text. There are a number of drivers behind this decline:

Good visual design is no longer a competitive advantage for online businesses – it’s expected

Economic competition & automation are making visual design cheaper and more accessible

Voice and text recognition technology are enabling viable alternatives to traditional visual interfaces

Visual design can’t keep up with the pace of innovations in consumer devices

Words are the ideal medium for accommodating this next phase of human-computer interaction. They’re universally used and understood globally, and are easily woven into stories that can fit into any user context.

Designers who embrace the power of storytelling will be better positioned to navigate the transition from visible to invisible computing – and I, for one, can’t wait to see what kinds of stories you guys start telling.