#open day so we were understaffed and busy all day

[maliciouslove]

when the dishwasher breaks so you have to do dishes by hand at work for over 40minutes

[caimitos]

thinking abt quitting my job 🤗

[beejunos]

UNKNOWN TO ME AND YOU | Alastor x reader

Summary: As Alastor's shadow starts to act strangely, hidden feelings are brought to light.

This wonderful story was written from @lustylita's wonderful idea! The story is completely theirs; I just had the pleasure of putting it into words. Their original post can be found here.

Tags: Alastor x gn.reader, hidden feelings, angst

The last couple of weeks have been very strange to you. 

Well, stranger than the hotel usually was. 

Over the past few weeks, you have helped your best friend, Charlie, with her little passion project. The Hazbin Hotel - your only chance at redemption! 

While you couldn't say that you inherently believed in her dream, you would have been a poor friend if you hadn't tried to help her—emphasis on tried. Growing up within Hell's elite, where someone always handed you everything on gold platters, didn't foster any usable skills that could help run a severely understaffed hotel. The very thought of having to clean your own room had almost immobilised you.

Did you really need to vacuum the walls and the ceilings every week? How did the cleaning staff back at your parents' manor even do it? The manor was huge! 

Thankfully, you had not been forced to clean for long because shortly after Charlie had opened the hotel for business, an unwanted guest had come knocking at the door. Alastor and his somewhat reluctant companies, except for Niffty, who seemed to thrive in the chaos, quickly made themselves at home in the hotel. 

The same night they arrived, you and Vaggie had sat Charlie down in their room and begged the princess not to let the radio demon stay. After all, the tales of his deeds had even reached your family's manor in the Envy ring of Hell. But Charlie had been persistent, saying that maybe by staying in the hotel, she could change his ways. You loved your friend; you really did, but sometimes you wanted to shake some sense into her violently. 

There was nothing you could do about the radio demon and how he just took over many of the work duties you had at the hotel. Waltzing in as if he owned the hotel, he had taken one look at your work and deemed it unsatisfactory. 

"No, no, let me do it, doll!" he would say condescendingly, making rage lick up your spine, "We would want this to be done well for Charlie, now, wouldn't we?" 

You had lost count of all the times you fantasised about grabbing a chair and introducing it to his face. 

He made you feel incompetent, and worst of all, he was right. Most of the work you had done that he had redone was of better quality, more detailed, and better planned. If you had been a weaker demon, you would have given up, apologised to Charlie and gone home to your parents, but so, if the heavens would be your witnesses, you were going to crush that smug little bastard of a sinner! 

And so began your imaginary battle with Alastor about who could be the best executive producer. If you had asked Alastor, he would not have had any clues about what you were doing, only that it finally seemed like you were taking your job seriously. That said, he still did not like you. You were a spoiled little demon brat who had never worked a hard day in your life, and worst of all, you were sloppy with your work. 

But time kept ticking. The days passed, the hotel was filled with new residents, and somehow, you and Alastor were able to work together. Nevertheless, you only managed to do it by never being near each other, which worked wonderfully for you because the man could actually be quite okay when he was silent and on the other side of the room.  

You could have continued to live like this for as long as Alastor decided to live in the hotel. There was just this teeny tiny thing that perplexed you. 

Alastor's shadow liked to be around you. 

It had begun quite innocently with the shadow coming over to you one night when you were sitting in one of the armchairs by the fireplace with yesterday's newspaper in your lap since you had started to do the crossword puzzle on the back of the paper. You had been staring at the same clue for what felt like an hour, and you just couldn't figure it out. Out of nowhere, a shadowy finger had tapped on the clue to get your attention, and when you looked up, two empty holes for eyes had looked back at you with the biggest twisted grin full of teeth you had ever seen. 

"Fuck! Don't do that!" you whispered forcefully, not wanting to disturb the peace and quiet that finally had fallen over the hotel lobby. "What do you want?" 

Prepared to be bothered any second now by the radio demon, you got even more confused when the shadow started doing pantomimes. Why in the seven Hells was it swimming across the wall?

You looked on as the shadow began to swim back to you, tapped on the clue and started to swim again.

"Swimming? But it has nothing to do with activities! It is something about effort," you said as the shadow returned to you. Since it could not speak, the shadow just started to nod its head and tapped on the clue again. 

"Is it a word derived from the word swimming?" you asked hesitantly as the shadow continued to nod. 

You turned back to the clue before you—a word for no effort needed and swimming.

"Swimmingly?" you asked the shadow, who gave you an even bigger sinister smile and nodded again before it disappeared up the stairs. Again, you were left in the lobby with only the crackling fire as a company, looking over at the stairs after the strange entity that was Alastor's shadow.

The next couple of weeks just grew more and more strange with every day. Out of nowhere, Alastor's shadow started to just interact with you. It began as innocent waves to you behind Alastors back, and at first, you wouldn't wave back, but when you saw how sad the shadow got if you didn't return its greeting, you started to wave back to it. On a few occasions, Alastor had caught you in the act, which quickly prompted you to swat the air around you as if you were trying to get rid of a fly.

When the waves weren't enough for the shadow, it started to appear around you, helping you in various ways. Once, it even helped you find some important paper you needed for your job that you were convinced Alastor had hidden from you. 

It turned out that Alastor's shadow was much more pleasant company than its physical part, and you often welcomed the shadow's help with your crosswords during the evenings.

However, you were again thrown for a loop when the shadowed behaviour started to change. It began to interact with you even more, seeking you out during the day and staying for long periods at a time, just hanging around you or observing what you were doing. 

One day, it had even brought you a blueberry muffin from the bakery you liked across town. You had no idea how it had even done that. For all you knew, shadows were not physical things and could not interact with the physical world. However, you were promptly proven wrong when Alastor's shadow took your own shadow's hand and pulled you down the hallway to show you the roses that had started to bloom outside of the hotel. 

It was a paradox, a mystery that intrigued you. Alastor's shadow, a creature of darkness, was surprisingly sweet, charming, and, at times, downright romantic. How could such a lovely thing be attached to such a vile being?

It had been like any other day. Alastor's shadow had found you in your office early in the morning, going through all the paperwork that needed to get done that day. In its shadowy hand, it held one blueberry muffin and your favourite coffee mug with a sleepy bear on it, along with the text Bearly Awaken written underneath. 

The coffee had been divine because, somewhere, the shadow had learned to make a cup of coffee exactly how you wanted it.

You continued with your day in the presence of Alastor's shadow, walking together down the corridor, through the lobby, and out the front door as you chatted with the shadow. You had gotten quite good at interpreting its pantomimes and overexaggerated emotions and often found yourself laughing at any antics the shadow pulled. 

It followed you all day as you walked around the city, picking up the materials Charlie needed for her next exercise with the hotel residents. The shadow even helped you pick out the colours for the ribbons and paints. 

At one point, the shadow's long finger had brushed against yours. It had been a cold sensation, almost like being touched by mist, but that had not mattered to you as you blushed before looking away. Missing how the shadow practically folded in on itself when it saw your reaction. 

Was it possible to date a shadow and not the being it was attached to? 

The sun was setting when you and Alastor's shadow got back to the hotel. The lobby was almost empty except for Husk, who was polishing martini glasses by the bar. As soon as he saw the two of you enter the hotel, Husk leapt over the bar and rushed over to you. 

"I don't know where the fuck the two of you have been, but you need to leave now before he finds out that your back," Husk whispered to you as he gripped your arm to turn you around towards the door. 

"And you!" he said towards the shadow, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"  

The shadow made a high-pitched whine as it stepped closer to you. You were about to ask Husk what he had meant when a loud voice boomed inside the hotel.

"Where are you?"

Husk's hand tightened around your arm as he started to pull you towards the door. You followed after him, paralysed by action, as a stone of fear got stuck in your throat. The shadow looked at you, then back at the stairs and then back at you again with anxious eyes. 

Loud steps could be heard from the hallway above the staircase, and Alastor's shadow began to be dragged towards the stairs as if by an invincible force. It desperately dug its claws into the ground, and the shadow let out a wailing scream as it looked at you with big, pleading eyes. 

Alastor was calling his shadow back to him. 

The shadow continued to fight the force of its master's call, leaving deep claw marks on the floor, and, as if a gunshot had been fired at the room, the force wholly let go of the shadow. The shadow rushed back to you, where it clung to your body like a second skin. 

"Get back here, you disgraceful thing!" Alastor could be heard shouting as a massive hand gripped the hallway doorframe and pulled itself forward. It was the hand of Alastor's most demonic form. 

Beside you, Husk had begun to shake as his claws dug into your skin.

"You need to run. Now!" he tried to push you towards the door, but it was too late. From around the corner, Alastor stepped from the dark into the light, but as he stepped forward, he shrank in size. Still, he looked terrifying. 

His eyes were a deep red with volume controllers as irises, hiding any emotions he may have had. His antlers had grown in size, sharp and imposing, making the sinner look almost regal as he sauntered down the stairs. 

"Thank you, Husker." he said, his voice dripping in venom, "I can take over now." 

Husk was about to protest loudly when he disappeared in a puff of red smoke, and you were left alone with the enraged sinner. 

"What do you think you are doing?" Alastor snarled as you started to shake where you were standing. A small whine could be heard beside your neck as the shadow clung closer to you.  

"I don't know..."

"I'm not talking to you!" Alastor's look silenced you but confused you for a second before you saw his eyes drop down to your neck, where the shadow hid. 

"Come back here and stop resisting," Alastor snarled again and stepped towards you. The shadow gave away a low whine as it clung closer to your body, and you realised it didn't want to return. In a fit of temporary insanity, you placed a protective hand over the arms of the shadow around you and stepped away from the sinner.

"No!"  

"What do you mean no? It's my shadow," asked Alastor as he looked back at you in confused rage.

"He doesn't want to be with you anymore," you snapped and turned your nose up. You stepped to the side to walk around the sinner, effectively walking away with his shadow, but as you walked past Alastor, his hand shot out, and he tried to grab your arm. But you were faster; with your other hand, you slept Alastors hand away from you and the shadow.

"Will you stop it! Don't you understand that we want nothing to do with you, so just leave us alone!" 

With determined steps, you started walking over to the staircase to get as far away from the deer demon as possible. However, you didn't get far until you felt the shadow clung even more to you as it let out a pitiful sob. Its head had fallen over your shoulder as it looked up at you with longing eyes—a gaze it shouldn't be giving you since you had just saved it from its cruel master.

"What's the matter?" you asked it as you tried to caress its cheek, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw something that you never thought you would see. 

Without a smile and ears hanging low against his head, Alastor looked at you with the same miserable longing that the shadow looked at you with. And that's when you remember something your mother used to say to you when you were a child, a long time ago. 

Our deepest desires, our most precious wishes and longings, hide in our shadows. Everything we want follows us within our shadows as the weights of our souls.  

You wanted to kick yourself for being so foolish, for not understanding until now. Maybe a small part of you had always known, but it had been easy to ignore in your imaginary rivalry with the sinner. But a shadow never lies. Even the ones who can think and act on their own. They will always mirror their owner's heart's wishes and act upon them when the host won't take charge of getting what they desire. 

"You're in love with me," you whispered. It was not a question but a statement—a statement that seemed to hang in the air for an eternity but not long enough. 

“How? What? When?” you asked, desperate for answers.

Alastor walked hesitantly towards you, looked you deep into your eyes and did something you never thought he would do. He kissed your cheek. 

Your breath hitched in your throat as his warm lips softly touched your cheek, and when he pulled away, you could still feel their presence against your skin. As if you were branded by their sweet touch. 

"Come now," was the last thing he said to his shadow as he walked around you and back up the stairs. Alastor's shadow made a melancholic chirping noise before it let go of you and followed its master.

You were left alone in the big hotel lobby. Wishing that it was your lips Alastor had kissed and not your cheek.

PART 2.

I really hope it lived up to the expectations, but I loved writing it! It got a lot more angsty than I first intended...

[mydarlingem]

ever since we met

guys we are SO BACK i bring gifts <3 didnt realize how much i would miss writing on here. currently working on rewriting old work and new stuff so i can get back to posting on a weekly basis. hope you have been well and enjoy!!

cw. sakusa kiyoomi eats pussy, what more could you need

wc. 1800

you met sakusa kiyoomi two years ago when he took over his father’s business. every monday and saturday at 4 pm, he knocked on the back door of your flower shop. big boxes filled with one the best flowers for you. it was also two years ago when you first opened the door for him that you realized you loved him. he was so sweet and kind, always taking time to ask about you and following up on events in your life. you figured he did this with everyone on his route. little did you know that your sweet kiyoomi did not ask questions about any of his other deliveries.

he was determined to get to know you, however long it took him. he knew the movies you saw, the terrible dates you went on, your favorite flowers and your least favorite customers. no detail was too small for him, because he did care about it all. he liked your passion for your work and your love for the people around you. ever since he knocked on that door monday at 4 pm two years ago he has loved you. he knows it crazy, and he can't rationalize it for the life of him but he knows it's the truth. he knows you probably don't reciprocate but god he can't help it.

“hey kiyoomi what did you bring for me today?” you say with a smiled as you prop open the door for him. the way you say his name makes him weak in the knees, he loves how comfortable you are around him. “besides my beautiful face, everything you had on your list and an extra case of snapdragons because i know you always run out by thursday.” he smiles at you and sets down the boxes. “you really are the best thank you” you say as you walk back over to the counter to continue cleaning roses. “how are you today my favorite florist?” he asks as he sets down the last three boxes in their designated spot. “busy and understaffed” you sigh. “glad to know things always stay the same around here” he smiles and hands you a clipboard for a signature.

he likes the way you sign your name, he can't explain it but it suits you. “you know you are the last delivery of the day, so is there anything i can do to help out?” he takes the clipboard back from you as you hold back from speaking for a moment. “i have so much to do are you sure?” you ask hoping it's not just pity. “i'm here for whatever you need” he says as he takes his hoodie off and sets his things down. you never realized how many tattoos he has, or how big his biceps were. maybe him staying was good for morale. “would mind cleaning some mums for me?” he nods and steps to the counter to start.

its quiet for a little, the silence isn't awkward though. you look over at him, he's so efficient. his hands are so perfect, how is he so perfect? his voice snaps you out of your trance. “how was that date you had last week?” he asks, not looking up from the flowers in his hands. “lets just say i won’t be seeing him again” you exhale softly, mentally pleading that the very attractive man across from you will not ask you to embarrass yourself further. kiyoomi laughs softly before speaking again, “i can't believe we have never hung out outside of work” he says as he continues to clean flowers. his heart was racing at this point, you made him so nervous he was hoping you couldn’t tell.

“i know it's so crazy! we have to do something soon” you say with a smile. “well what are you doing this weekend? there’s a new bar i want to check out and i’d love to take you.” “if i didn't know any better i would think you were asking me out on a date kiyoomi” you smile before looking up at him and making eye contact with him. “and what if i am?” he says still smiling, your cheeks were so hot, was he messing with you? “well i'd think you were joking” you say trying to control the tone of your voice. he sets his flowers down as he makes his way to the other side of the table where you stand with shaky hands.

“oh im dead serious pretty girl” he runs his hand along your jaw tilting your chin towards his face. he's smiling at you like you hung and the moon and stars just for him. hes so close all you can smell is his cologne, god did he always smell this good? you aren’t sure who leans in first but your lips touch and suddenly everything feels so right. hes holding your face in his hand but slowly becoming so desperate as he kisses you. the cold metal of his lip piercings feels so good against your lips. you can't seem to get enough of him and you wrap your arms around his neck. he taps your thighs as you wrap your legs around him, he gently sets you on the counter. he breaks away from the kiss breathless and rests his head against your shoulder “you're so perfect” he all but whimpers against the skin of your neck.

“i've wanted to kiss you for so long” you say as he kisses your neck, and you run your hands through his soft hair. he moans softly at the contact and lifts his head up to kiss you again. standing in between your thighs he wraps his hands around your waist, smiling into the kiss. he can't believe this moment is real, he can't believe he finally worked up the courage to to act on his feelings. the all too familiar jingle of the front door opening snaps the both of you out of your bliss. “fuck” you say as you hop off the counter, “hi ill be right there." you look back to kiyoomi “will you please stay i promise i'll be so quick”. he smiles “dont worry im not going anywhere sweetheart.” you smile and kiss him on the cheek before running off to the front.

this might be the happiest he’s ever been. you’re so soft and sweet and oh my god he loves how gentle you are with him. he loves the effect he has on you, in fact he may just never move from this spot in the hope that you kiss him like that again. “thank you have a great day” you chirp as your voice breaks him out of his trance. you appear into the doorway to the back of the door with a smile. “hi” you say as you make your way back over to him, “hi sweet girl” he wraps his arms around you again. “i close in about 30 minutes, will you come home with me?” you ask shocked by your own boldness. the way you are looking at him he thinks he might die. “god i'll be wherever you want me.” the effect you had on him was unreal. “let me drop off my truck and i'll be back in fifteen”, “be quick” you say as you twirl his hair with your fingers. have you always been this hot?

kiyoomi was convinced was losing his mind. he has never moved faster in his life. he doesn't even remember driving his motorcycle back to your shop. all he knew is that he was walking back into your shop with more determination than he's ever felt before. “hi handsome” you say as he drapes his body against yours. “almost done?” he asks as he kisses your cheek. “i have about fifteen minutes before i can go but i'm all done.” you turn to kiss him as he plays with the waistband of your jeans. the kiss is messy and hot, he felt weak in the knees. “i can think of a few things to pass the time” he says as he breaks away from the kiss.

you smile looking up at him, his face was flushed and you could help but be proud of the effect you had on him. “please let me eat you out” your jaw drops at his words. “here?” you ask and he grins “here” he says as he drops to his knees in front of you. you could finish from just looking at this beautiful large man on his knees in front of you. “god please” he's quick to unzip your pants and slide them down your legs. he places small kisses along your thighs as he moves to put your legs on his shoulders. he kisses you through your underwear and you whimper softly. sliding your underwear to the side he starts softly using his tongue, and puts a finger inside you as he continues.

you grip his hair and squeeze your thighs against his head as he quickened his pace. “harder” he whimpers into you and you squeeze harder. god his tongue piercing is incredible. you are getting close to finishing, and he can tell. he moans into you like this is pleasuring him just as much as it is you. “more kiyo” you moan out. he moves faster as he inserts another finger. the nickname could have made him cum in his pants. you are quickly approaching your high as you stutter out an “im close” he's moving faster than before, focused on you and only you. he's eating you out like a man starved, the cold metal of his piercing mixed with the warmth of his fingers had you seeing stars.

you moan his name as you finish and he cleans you up with his tongue. your legs were shaking as he stands up and licks the rest of you off of his slender fingers. “you're so incredible” you say as you wrap your arms around him and kiss him, the taste of you still on his tongue. “i've been dying to do that for two years” he says as he pulls away from you. “i love you kiyoomi” you say looking him in the eyes, "i've been dying to tell you that for two years" mustering the courage to confess everything to him. “god i love you” he says cupping your face in his hands as he kisses you again. “i love you i love you i love you” he says softly in between kisses. "ill spend forever making you feel it."

[propertyofyoutube]

I saw your post about wanting to write more in-depth fluff and I have this moment I have thought about for so long that I can’t wait for it to happen with a partner! So…I was thinking the reader gets home from work one day before either Sam or Colby (either works great you choose! Or both we won’t judge👀) and she’s baking in the kitchen after a somewhat stressful day and so when they come home they see her in the kitchen and watch her for a minute before getting her attention and then they come up and hug her from behind and then their song starts playing in her speaker and they start to slow dance in the kitchen together!! (I am so extremely sorry if this is too long I just think about this moment wayyyyyyy too much!)

Summary: you had just finished an almost 10 hour shift at the restaurant, that you worked at whilst you patiently waited for your music career to take off. You expected Colby to be waiting for you seen as you were 4 hours later than expected, but when you arrived home to an empty house, starving and exhausted, your sadness finally tipped over the edge.

WARNINGS: NO SMUT! just pure fluff and Colby cuteness🥺

REQUESTS OPEN!!

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It was late on a Saturday night, your feet burned and your head pulsated as you stepped out of your car. Being understaffed in a restaurant on a Saturday was truly the worst nightmare for anyone in the hospitality business. So being asked to stay until the close after your shift had ended, was something you’d much rather not be doing. But ‘money… money for my music’ was all that ran through your head.

As you made your way across the driveway to the front door, you were too tired to notice that Colby’s car was not there. You thought about his arms wrapping around you and how in a few moments, everything would feel so much better.

As you stepped into the homely decorated hallway, you called out loudly, “baby, I’m home!” You kicked off your shoes, putting them neatly on the rack as there was no reply. You looked around confused as you took off your jacket. “Colbs?” You waited, still no reply. As you walked into the main sitting room it wasn’t long before you accepted the fact that you were alone. You sighed as you felt your eyes burn and your heart pound. You knew that you needed to cry. To let it all out. But your stifling headache and exhausted muscles physically didn’t have the energy anymore. You wanted a shower, you felt disgusting but your stomach growled louder than a scared wolf, desperately in need of food.

You headed into the kitchen, and stopped still. Looking around at the moderately clean surfaces. You felt as though your thought process was damaged from the stress of that evil shift. You took a deep breath before speaking clearly, “Alexa…” the device quickly flashed blue, “play y/f/m.” As Alexa confirmed and your favourite music began to play through the small speaker, you thought it might make you feel better… as much as it helped, you still felt like you wanted to tuck into a ball and stay there forever.

your stomach rumbled one last time, snapping you out of your spinning thoughts, you quickly headed to the refrigerator taking out the ingredients to make gory favourite dinner. You even collected double the ingredients just in case Colby was hungry when he got home.

As you stood at the stove, your eyes desperately wanting to pour, your weight balance constantly shifting from one foot to the other due to the burning pain on your soles, you stirred the homemade sauce as it thickened with each turn. The front door opened but the music drowned out the sound as you became oblivious to the arrival of Colby.

He walked into the kitchen, stopping at the doorway a smile plastered across his face as he watched you nod your head to the beat, your arm clinging to the silicone spatula as it rotated around the pan. There was nothing he loved more than to see you, especially when you don’t see him, simply doing absolutely anything. You reached to side, without looking, as you picked up your wine glass taking a sip as you sighed. Colby knew you only drank wine before your dinner if you’d had a bad day. Suddenly, you reached your arm back out as you went to place the wine glass back down, but once again your eyes stayed on your sauce and as the glass touched the worktop, you let go, but as you pulled your arm away, your tired hands hadn’t released fully as you knocked it over. Your wine spilling across the worktop, catching you by surprise as you finally snapped, “oh for fuck sake!” You shouted loudly as you stepped back on the verge of tears.

“Oh baby!” Colby chuckled as he ran to the rescue. You jumped out of your skin, unaware of his presence as you spun around quickly, “fuck Colby! You scared me!” You said without a chuckle in return. Colby noticed the distress on your voice as he reached you, taking the paper towels from your hand as you tried to hold back tears. He looked at you concerned as you took a deep breath.

“Thank you.” You said softly as you continued stirs g your sauce. You wanted to explode, but knew it wouldn’t be fair on Colby to have to deal with a meltdown, and you physically didn’t think you had the energy to breakdown.

After Colby finished cleaning up the wine, he quickly grabbed the bottle without saying another word and refilled your glass. You felt guilty for snapping at him, you just felt like you couldn’t take anymore today. You couldn’t look at him as you whispered softly, your voice cracking with each word, “I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“No need to be sorry.” He said as he filled up your glass. Your eyes stayed glued to the pan as you stirred over and over again. Suddenly you felt Colby hands snake around your waist as his head appeared next to yours, his chin on your shoulder and his arms holding you tightly. For the first time tonight you shoulders relaxed slightly. You were right, being his arms did make things feel that little bit better.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Colby asked his voice riddled with concern.

You sighed as your lip quivered, your voice struggling to squeeze out afraid of opening the flood gates, “just had a stressful day.” You said. Colby’s heart broke at the sound of sadness in your voice.

“Oh baby.” Colby said as he gave you squeeze and turned his head to kiss your cheek. His warm lips and tight grip helping you calm your heart rate.

“My head hurts, my legs hurt, my feet hurt…” you whined slightly as Colby continued to kiss your neck and your cheek. Suddenly, yours and Colby’s song began to play. Colby couldn’t help but smile as he began to sway you back and forth.

“Well… do you wanna know why I weren’t home?” Colby said with a chuckle. Your body finally started to relax slightly as you both swayed to the music, your hand still stirring the sauce.

“I’m all ears baby,” you said as your lips finally curved slightly into a small smile.

“I was out shopping… I figured you’d been asked to stay late and after 2 hours and still no sign of you, I thought you might like to have a special night.” He said with so much love on his voice.

You turned you head to look at him, your eyebrows frowning confused, “what do you mean?”

Colby spun you to face him, “I got you a new bath bomb… your favourite.” Your face lit up as he spoke, “and some candles…” you bit your lip in excitement thinking of where your night was headed. Colby grabbed your arms pulling them away from your spatula.

“Baby! I need to cook!” You said with a chuckle.

“There it is!” Colby said excitedly as he began to dance with you, your eyes glued to his as you could see all of the love in his eyes, “that beautiful smile.”

You couldn’t help but smile wide. He always managed to make you feel better, without you even knowing just how he does it. You quickly leaned in, giving his a sweet kiss, your lips pressed together. “I love you.” You said honestly as you pulled back slightly. “Thank you… for everything.”

Colby smiled wider as he leaned down kissing you softly once more, “I love you more baby… you don’t have to thank me. I will forever do whatever I can to make my girl happy.” Colby suddenly spun you around as you laughed. As you landed back in his arms he quickly dipped you down, his lips quickly reconnecting with yours. As he pulled back he looked into your eyes, your leg still in this air as he held you up, “there one more surprise baby…” he said with a smirk.

He quickly stood you up as walked away, back into the hallway, leaving if you watching confused. You quickly turned back to your sauce to ensure it wasn’t burning. Your eyes still watching the door for his return. Soon enough, Colby appeared with the biggest bunch of flowers in his hand.

“Your favourite.” He said with a proud look on his face.

“How did I get so lucky?” You giggled as you couldn’t fight a yawn.

Colby laughed as he walked over to you, leaning across to kiss you on your cheek. “The real question is…” Colby said with a smirk, “is there enough of that for dinner me too? Because damn, it looks so good.”

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[free-and-to-none-accountable]

Posted on September 2, 2022 by Rybyn Z.

The meeting went off the rails when I got a text and an email from one of the early elementary teachers. The managers were lying to our faces. Everyone must have gotten the same messages, because my coworkers’ voices started to rise, their tone grew angry, and they stopped respecting management’s “meeting norms.”

Our in-person school year had ended a week before, but management insisted on a virtual “follow-up” meeting. So, everyone dutifully logged on at 9:00 am. The regional director and his crony were waiting patiently. In an act worthy of Broadway, the DMV regional director, with a too-bad-so-sad tone, announced that our principal and assistant principal had “left to pursue other opportunities.” There was no one to replace them yet.

I work at a neighborhood charter school in Washington DC. Most students come from low-income or middle-income Black and Latinx families. Just a few months before I started working there, the board that owns the school switched charter management companies to a renowned national charter “turnaround” company based on the notorious Mind Trust’s model. Often credited as creating the blueprint for privatizing urban education, it helped spawn the company that now oversees my school. Mismanagement, exploitation, and hypocrisy were in the company’s DNA. Originally founded in Indianapolis (like the Mind Trust), the company grew until it spread all the way to Washington DC, where a charter market already thrives.

Staff, students, and families were already reeling from a traumatic year. So the announcement about the administration team blindsided us. While many of us did not like the principal and assistant principal—or, like myself, believe we could do without them altogether— we all agreed that they cared for the school community.

Meanwhile, the company had nearly run the school into the ground through mismanagement and financial profiteering schemes. They fired teachers while we were desperately understaffed, revoked already-earned bonuses for changing jobs, and did shady things to raise test scores. These were only the most glaring of a whole host of issues threatening to overwhelm and destroy the school.

So, we were all a little more than suspicious. The atmosphere was tense. A few staff members pressed the regional director for firm answers about our former leadership team—and received dodgy replies. One of the workers then asked, “Were they let go, or did they choose to leave?” over and over again. Eventually, the regional director paused for a few seconds, then—finally—said, “They chose to leave.”

That’s when I, and nearly everyone else, got the text message from the early elementary teacher. It was just an image thumbnail. Inside was the principal’s termination letter, sent by the director hosting the meeting.

It was too much. Under unbearable pressure, we exploded.

One of the teachers opened with a salvo about the terrible, contradictory communication and chaos. She ended with, “The 4:30 dismissal time has got to go.”

Our “offer letters” (we don’t have contracts) specified our roles and hours. We all got paid for eight hours a day while the company enforced nine-hour days—and most teachers worked longer to barely keep up with the crushing workload. All year, the workers had expressed disgust with these policies. Several times, workers took direct action against them. Most of the time, teachers just refused to do the bullshit busy work admin gave out, and the company couldn’t do much about it. Thanks, Great Resignation.

Another worker, an English Language Learner specialist, demanded to know if support staff who’d been thrown into different roles, sometimes multiple times a day, would be paid for their extra work. The director kept sidestepping our questions. He said to get paid, they needed to pull the records from the overflowing staff group chat, where people begged for classroom coverage all year. Several workers then pointed out that this group chat, owned by the former principal, was deleted. He had no answer for us, and we knew it. Even though we were on Zoom, I could feel the rage bubbling up. The school’s social worker then cut the higher-up off, “You all have come into a community dealing with immense trauma without thinking about what the community needs at all. Where is the support from this company? We only see y’all once a month!” 

This had been something that agitated everyone on the shop floor all year: the company flew a couple of rich white people into DC for two days each month, then straight back home. She laid into them for five more minutes.

As she talked, and as several teachers came off mute to support her and launch into their own tirades, I realized this was an opportunity to unite the staff and build power. I’d built up a committee in the first few months of the school year that took some direct actions. But without a proper formalized structure beyond a group chat, the committee only represented my immediate coworkers, and ultimately dissipated as understaffing at our school got worse and worse. It had felt like many workers at the school were content to take it on the chin and keep moving. That was incorrect. A deep rage extended across every grade band and role.

The task I’d struggled with was building a formal committee that met outside work hours. With the help of two external organizers from the IWW’s DC, Maryland, and Virginia Education Workers Organizing Committee and the Southern Coordinating Committee throughout the year, I accumulated the knowledge and skills I needed to do that. Here was an opportunity to apply that knowledge.

I noticed that several people had replied to the email the early elementary teacher sent, expressing anger and betrayal.

I hopped into the thread and sent a message venting my own feelings and asking if anyone wanted to form a group chat to discuss how to make a change in the workplace. Along with that, I whipped up a google form asking for contact info and platform preference—about ten people filled it out. 

Workers were still on the meeting yelling at the regional director, by the way. The meeting was supposed to end by 10:00 am. It was now 10:30. Our office assistant took the mic.

“The old logo is still on the building, the same color scheme from before, too. How is this company going to support rebranding?”

The director shifted a little bit, seemingly uncomfortable with giving us information about how the company works, “the operations team helps, but really it’s up to the school board.”

The worker shot back, “We need an action item here. You said operations, does that mean the school leadership, the board, or the company makes that decision? I’m leaving so someone else needs to connect those dots.”

She received vocal and written support from staff, and kept pressing her demand until management caved and agreed to weekly meetings with worker input.

Soon, staff members turned to berate management for abandoning us. No counselor, no substitutes, and a stream of overworked, underpaid staff members running for the door had taken their toll. Our social worker spoke out again, “We desperately need a counselor. Why do we not have a counselor?”

“It all depends on enrollment, I’m sorry to say. That’s where the funding comes from, and with the school in a deficit, we can’t afford to backfill positions.”

One of the teachers—a 20-plus-year teaching veteran not to be played around with—took her turn to criticize not just the company, but the invisible board who hired them.

“I see where they’re all coming from. We felt like the stepchild of the company, like we were never a part of it as a school community. And it feels like that with the board, too. I feel like they never see the work teachers are doing in the building. We need to let the community back into the building to see what’s going on. We need a commitment to a counselor.”

“It all depends on enrollment…”

Meanwhile, I was setting up our committee’s group chat and collaborating with coworkers to set up the infrastructure to keep ourselves together over the summer. I gathered non-work contacts. 

The same teacher responded to the director’s vague answers: “We don’t know where any of this information comes from! Why is there no money? Are we non-profit or for-profit? I know y’all probably came into DC thinking this was a hot money-making market for you with all the charter schools. But you don’t seem to realize that these other charter companies at least offer more resources. Two Rivers, DC Prep, and Friendship do that, why not y’all?”

I called the company out for doing nothing to cover the school’s deficit. Enrollment numbers had dropped over the pandemic, meaning less funding from the DC government while expenses rose. The higher-up and I got into an exchange where he tried to evade my questions, and I kept bringing up the same points. He fell back to the same “it’s up to the board, government, and enrollment,” line, so I went back on mute to allow others to speak.

Two more staff members aired grievances about being thrown into different positions with no warning. At that point, it was 11:00, and the regional director claimed he had another meeting he had to join. I wonder what he said about us afterward.

There are a couple of lessons to draw from this experience. One is that having a formal committee that represents the workplace is essential. Two, spontaneous direct actions by workers can win gains and catalyze a solid organizing committee.

During the 2021-2022 school year, my coworkers and I were able to win certain concessions from management through loosely coordinated direct actions. For example, our ex-principal imposed an attendance policy that collectively punished the staff for the late arrivals of only a few (and those workers were only late consistently because of terrible conditions). Throughout the next day, groups of workers would go down to the office to protest—spurred on by everyone else cheering them on. We won.

Even so, most of the tangible organizing only happened in my department—the 3-5th grade instructional team. Within our own circle, we were strongly critical of the principal. Eventually, one of the 3rd-grade teachers even lead us in writing up a formal complaint against them. But after consolidating a committee representing K-2, 3-5, para-educators, and food service staff, I discovered there was a significant minority of staff who loved our principal and assistant principal. The two of them being fired was what agitated them enough to take action and join the committee in the first place. Without a formal workplace-wide committee, we couldn’t see that. I had to readjust my perspective.

Our spontaneous actions made a difference. This year, we have an official eight-hour workday, more robust curriculum support, and a seemingly much more competent leadership team. Less concretely, management has tread a lot more lightly around us. It’s obvious they want to do more to control and discipline their human capital stock, but can’t because they know we might bite back, and hard.

Not only that, but the committee I formed survived the summer, has a meeting schedule, and is actively gathering contacts in preparation for one-on-one conversations as I write this. Summer whittled us down from ten to five, but I had my first one-on-one just the other day, and management has started to act like their old selves again, so I’m predicting that will change soon.

Contact the IWW today if you want to start organizing at your job. Click here to read more about Rybin Z., the author and organizer.

[chelseachilly]

THIS LOVE - chapter four | you can hear it in the silence

pairing: ben chilwell x reader

rating: T

word count: 2.2k

summary: you try to keep your distance from ben after italy, but after a terrible day, there's no one else you'd rather be with. i wonder why that is...

A/N: sorry it took longer than usual to update guys, it's been a very busy week for me! this one's a bit short as well but the next will be longer. i'm so happy the prem is back and we're getting so much good ben content though, the chelsea media team is keeping us well fed (and inspired one line of this chapter lol). title is from you are in love by taylor swift 🙈

previous chapter | view all chapters

Your plan when you got back to London seemed almost foolproof at the time.

You picked up a bunch of shifts at work, more than you would ever normally take on in one week. If you’re constantly working, then that gives you 1) an excuse not to attend any more events with Ben and 2) a good distraction from the developing feelings you’re experiencing for him.

The facts are simple.

He is your best friend in the world. He most certainly doesn’t return whatever weird feelings you’re having. Nothing is going to happen.

You’re sure it’s just a weird side-effect of this fake dating you’ve been doing, but that’s just playing pretend. 

Seeing him return to his usual ways - that perhaps he never left - of sleeping with beautiful models, firmly planted you back in the real world. 

And there’s nothing that can help you snap out of your fantasy life than a double shift in an East London emergency department. 

By the end of the week, you’re burnt out, exhausted, and you’re coming off what might be the worst shift you’ve ever had. Everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong, and it takes all your energy just to make it home on the tube and get yourself up the stairs to your flat afterward.

You don’t know whether you want to cry, scream, sleep, eat, or something else entirely when you finally make it to your couch and collapse into it. 

Some time passes - you’re not sure if it’s minutes or hours - without you moving a muscle, your face buried in a pillow as you try to forget about your nightmare day. You’re snapped out of it when there’s a knock on your door. 

You’re not expecting anyone, but you reluctantly force yourself off the couch and trudge your way over to open it. 

And there stands Ben, who you haven’t seen or really spoken to except a few texts in a week and a half. Perfect.

“Ben, what are you doing here?” 

You’re aware it’s not the most polite greeting, but you don’t really have much more than that in you. 

“Are you alright?” Ben asks as soon as he has a moment to take you in, his eyes scanning your face. “You didn’t answer my call yesterday or my texts this morning, I was worried.”

Although you missed the texts because your phone was off at work and haven’t had the energy to check your messages since, you did dodge his call. 

“I’m fine, I just had a long day at work and I-“ You pause as it dawns on you what day it is, as well as the fact that Ben is dressed a bit more smartly than usual, in black trousers and a nice leather jacket. “Oh, shit. The Nike thing. I completely forgot.”

You had agreed weeks ago to attend a big flashy party for Nike as Ben’s date tonight, but as you focused all your energy on work this week it completely slipped your mind. 

“I’m sorry, just give me a few minutes to get changed and I’ll-“

“Hey, hey,” Ben says softly, stepping into your flat and closing the door behind him. “Forget about the party, is something wrong?”

You shake your head. “I just had a rough day at work.”

Ben nods, gesturing for you to go on, and something about the sincere worry in his eyes makes it impossible for you to remain closed off from him.

“We were really understaffed, and it was just one thing after another and then I lost a patient and I just-“ 

You cut yourself off as you feel that you’re about to cry, the sheer weight of your awful day and week catching up with you, but Ben can see it in the way your lip is trembling slightly and you’re avoiding eye contact with him.

“It’s alright, come here,” he says, stepping closer and pulling you into his arms before you can insist that you don’t need to be comforted. You definitely do, and there’s no better comfort on earth than Ben’s hugs. 

He holds you close against him, letting you hide your face in his chest, and you can’t resist letting out a few sobs now that he’s opened the emotional floodgates. 

“Shh, you’re okay,” Ben says so softly that it almost makes you cry harder. “I’ve got you.”

Slowly, and never breaking contact, Ben shuffles you both backward until the back of your legs hits the couch and eases you both into a seated position. He pulls you even closer so your legs are draped over his lap and your face rests in the crook of his neck, his hands slowly rubbing your back as your sobs taper off into quiet whimpers.

You can feel everything bad and stressful about today slowly leave your body with every soothing murmur and stroke of Ben’s warm hand against your back. 

He’s like an instant cure for everything wrong with the world, and it occurs to you that a big part of your terrible mood is probably the result of not seeing him for longer than usual. 

Now that you’re back in his presence, in the strong arms that have held you when you were eight and you scraped your knee falling off a bike and when you were sixteen and a boy broke your heart for the first time, you never want to leave. 

You’re no longer crying when you finally find the strength to pull away from him and look him in the eye. 

Ben releases you but keeps his hands firmly on your arms as he examines your face with worried eyes and a creased brow. 

“Are you alright?” he asks barely above a whisper. 

You nod, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “Sorry, I guess this week was just a bit overwhelming.”

“You’ve been working a lot lately, yeah?”

“Yeah, well, have to pay the bills,” you shrug, as if that’s the only reason you’ve been drowning yourself in shifts on purpose. 

You do regret the comment slightly as Ben’s mouth opens and you know what he’s going to say before he even says it. 

“Y/N, if you ever need money, you know-“

“Ben,” you interrupt. “I don’t need money, I’m fine. It was just a stressful week, but I’ve got a few days off now.”

You’ve had this dispute before, with Ben freaking out whenever you seem overworked and insisting on covering some of your expenses. You never take him up on it, obviously. You do mostly love your job and helping people, and Ben knows that. He just worries about you. 

“Alright, fine,” Ben accepts. “Now why don’t we order some food and pick something to watch?”

You blink at him in confusion. “What? What about the Nike thing?”

Ben shrugs. “I’ll skip it. No big deal.”

“Ben-“

“Y/N, you had a shit day, you’re not going to some dumb party, and I’m not leaving you alone.”

He says it so matter-of-factly, like it’s his job to take care of you when you’re sad. Like he’s more than just your friend.

You can’t help but smile at his sincere expression, and how he’s gently rubbing your calf that’s still draped over his lap, as if you touch each other like this in private all the time. 

“I thought you said it would be a fun party?” you raise an eyebrow. “Or were you just trying to trick me into it?”

Ben laughs. “Well, it might be alright. A couple of the boys are gonna be there. But not as fun as watching a film with you.”

There it is again - that damn fluttering in your chest that is equal parts exciting and terrifying. 

Suddenly, doing anything with Ben sounds pretty good. Even a dumb party. 

“You know what, let’s go,” you say, wiping any remaining tears from your cheeks. “There’s no point in this whole fake dating thing if we don’t commit, right?”

“Are you sure?” Ben asks, frowning a bit. “We really don’t have to.”

“I’m sure. Let me go get changed.”

You get ready fairly quickly, putting on your go-to little black dress and comfiest heels, because you did just work a 12-hour day. You make your hair look presentable and apply a bit of makeup.

It’s nothing special, but the look on Ben’s face when you walk out of your bedroom says otherwise. 

The stress of your day continues to fade away to nothing as you and Ben make your way over to the party. Ben drives as they have a match Sunday so he won’t be drinking anything, and he loudly sings along to the Taylor Swift song on the radio in a clear attempt to cheer you up. It’s definitely working.

The party is a cool, lively affair at the Nike HQ. There are loads of athletes there, some that you recognize from television and some that you know through Ben. 

As you navigate the party, chatting with some Nike execs and some of Ben’s past and present teammates, Ben maintains some kind of physical touch with you. His fingers intertwined with yours as you walk in; his arm around your waist as you talk to his mates; his hand rubbing gentle circles on your lower back as you order a drink. 

You don’t know if it’s the fact that this is an event hosted by one of his biggest sponsors and he wants to play up the “man in love” thing or if he’s still trying to comfort you, but you can’t help hoping it’s the latter. 

After a while, Ben is approached by someone from Nike asking if he can do a short interview for social media. 

“Your girlfriend is welcome to join too,” the woman says nicely, flashing you a smile.

“You don’t have to,” Ben whispers in your ear, but you just shrug. 

Normally you would shy away from any press, but maybe a part of you doesn’t mind being called his girlfriend tonight.

“I’ll do it,” you say with a small smile at the interviewer. 

Ben keeps his arm protectively around your waist as the interview begins, glancing at you from time to time to make sure you’re alright.

They ask him a few questions about football before diving into the personal stuff, which you know is juicer for social media. 

“So, Ben, we see you’ve brought your lovely girlfriend Y/N here tonight,” the interviewer says. “How does she keep you grounded during the hectic football season?”

You tense a bit as you wonder what Ben is going to say, or if he’s going to be able to come up with anything on the spot, but he barely takes a second to respond.

“She’s such a calming presence in my life, really,” Ben says, squeezing your waist slightly. “She’s a nurse, so her job is infinitely harder than mine, and she still supports me emotionally whenever I hit a low point with my career. She’s…just the best person I know.”

Your heart is beating so wildly that you’re worried Ben is going to be able to tell, but you don’t have much time to stop being flustered before she’s directing a question at you.

“Y/N, I’ve heard that you two have known each other for quite some time before your relationship began,” she says. “What’s your favourite thing about Ben?”

There are a million things that come to mind right away, most of which feel too personal to share. 

You love how he takes care of the people in his life without expecting anything in return. You love how he cries every time you watch Marley and Me together, even though he’s seen it a thousand times.  You love close he is with his family and how he calls his mum every Sunday night just to chat. 

You love…

“I love how positive he is,” you say after a moment when you realize it’s taking you too long to answer. “He’s overcome a lot of adversity in his career, but he always has a smile on his face and makes everyone around him feel better by being in his presence.”

While you try to keep your answer somewhat football-related, since this is a work function, it’s also completely true.

And when Ben looks at you with that same bright smile, you think he knows that.

“Well, it seems love is in the air at Nike HQ tonight,” the interviewer swoons. “I hope you both have a nice evening, and we wish you all the best this season, Ben.”

As she leaves you standing there alone with Ben, trying to process the weight of your feelings, he turns to smile at you and tightens his grip on your waist.

When you meet his gaze and your stomach churns, you know two things for certain.

The first is that you’re in love with your best friend. It’s absolutely terrifying, due in part to the fact that you think you may have been in love with him without realizing it for a long time, but there’s no disputing it anymore.

The second is that you’re going to have to end this fake relationship before someone gets hurt. 

You just hope it’s not too late.

a/n: let me know what you thought, predictions, etc!! love chatting with all of you and your comments/asks make my day! <3 tag list: @lunamelona @kathb59 @captainwans​ @amandaaa1025 @bbygrlllllll @cinderellawithashoe​ @batmansb1tch​ @ncentic​ @myheartgoesvroom @chillymountsjess @babygirlbenji @delicateearthquakellama @joyfullyswimmingface @xxenia14 @chaotic-taco-collector-blog (let me know if you would like to be added or if i missed you!)

[fuck-customers]

I was going to submit a big long rant about how annoyed I am that customers keep asking for tissue paper instead of, idk, wrapping their shit at home and not making my job harder than it needs to be when it's two days before Christmas and I'm literally the only one working (my store is small, but still) but I think my real frustration is with my managers for knowing we were going to be insanely busy leading up to Christmas and still refusing to schedule more than one person to work at a time. We had over $5,000 in sales yesterday (which is a lot for us) and it was packed nearly from opening to closing, but sure, don't schedule any additional staff to help handle the rush, that's fine, one person at a time is plenty (sarcasm). Not to mention that I haven't gotten a raise in over a year despite inflation being so wild (made worse by my needing to cut back on my hours for my physical & mental health because my job is a stress-filled nightmare) and my "holiday bonus" last year was a $10 gift card to some obscure local restaurant I've never heard of, which I wound up giving away to someone who would actually use it. I'd rather have just had $10. Not sure if they're even going to do anything at all this year. I'd quit if I didn't need what money I do make.

Oh, and we don't even get holiday pay, so since I'm normally scheduled to work on Sundays and we're going to be closed for Christmas, I just completely lose out on part of my usual paycheck. Lovely. 🙃

Fuck my managers for their perpetual understaffing and fuck customers for waiting until the last goddamn minute to do their shopping. I finished my gift buying in November; what's your excuse?

[faofinn]

Day 9 - Oxygen

@mediwhumpmay

Fao’s chest had been bothering him. It definitely wasn’t right, as much as he tried to ignore it. Some virus or another had been floating round as always, the kids bringing god knows what home from school. He’d been suffering with it, the way he always did, but he was trying to push through. He didn’t particularly have a choice, he had to work. At least he wasn’t as busy as he had been in the past. Working up to clinical lead, he’d been doing more admin and taking more responsibilities that way, which meant more time at his desk. That was no bad thing, especially when he felt like shite. 

That didn’t mean he was purely non clinical, and today he’d been picking up the slack of an understaffed service. He’d rushed down the stairs to ED, called down for a consult, and his breath caught in his chest to the point he had to pause at the nurse’s station, trying to ignore the wheeze. 

The cough wasn’t great either, and Fao winced when it started, knowing just how bad he sounded. It didn’t last long, and he paused to push some hair from his face, still leaning against the nurse’s station for a moment longer to pull himself together. 

"Wolfie. Fucking finally." Harrison rounded the corner, shaking his head at Fao. "We paged you lot ages ago."

Fao cleared his throat, huffing at Harrison. “Understaffed.” He said gruffly. “Who am I seeing?”

Harrison narrowed his eyes. "How long have you been sick?"

He rolled his eyes. “I’m fine.”

"You're not. Jamie? Which room is free at the moment?"

“Oh, don’t start, you know what my chest is like.” He said, but didn’t move. “Which patient am I seeing?”

"Yeah, fuck that. Call gensurg again for me? I'm gonna take Fao down to 6." Harrison ignored Fao. 

“Good luck trying to get someone else.” Fao said, but his voice cracked and the coughing started again, undermining him. He could feel the wheeze in his chest, the tightness across his ribs and the lingering pain under his sternum. The coughing itself made him feel dizzy, and he pressed his lips together. 

"Yeah, no.  You're not alright." Harrison moved to support Fao, his arm wrapped around the other man. "Come on, before you end up collapsing."

Fao groaned, leaning into Harrison as the room lurched and his legs gave out from under him. 

"You fucker." Harrison swore, shifting to pick Fao up. "Someone get the doors, please! We're going to resus."

People made space for them, concerned muttering as the resus doors were opened. Jamie, who had appeared not long after Hars originally called for him, found an empty bay, calling the doctor into it. 

"Right then, we all know Fao. Just collapsed, shortness of breath, multiple previous spontaneous pneumos. He decompensates very quickly. I need full obs on him please, and if someone can get the X-ray, that would be great." Harrison called to their team, moving to listen to Fao's chest.

Fao came round quickly, batting at Harrison’s hands on him. “Piss off.” He grumbled. 

"Yeah, lovely. How long has your chest been fucked?"

“Since I was 17?” He tried, but the cough that followed didn’t help him out. 

"Faolan. Don't be a dickhead."

“Ooh, full name.” He teased weakly. “I’ve had some shitty cold since last week an’ I can’t shift the cough.”

"How long have you been wheezing for? Bringing anything up?"

“Last few days? Mostly dry.” 

"Have you bothered to take your inhaler?"

Fao shot him a look. “You have to ask?”

"If Sheila doesn't kill you, I'm going to."

He rolled his eyes, turning to cough. “It’s fine, ’m fine.”

One of the nurses huffed. “Fao, can you stop fidgeting so we can get some obs? Please?”

“I’m fine, honestly. All a fuss about nothing.” He protested. 

Harrison could have smacked him. He returned to Fao's side, face like thunder. "Fao, I swear to god. When you collapse on me again, you lose the right to complain. Lie still and let us do what we have to do. You look like shit, the obs we've got have been shit, and let me guess, you feel like shit."

“I jus’ went a little faint, it happens.” He protested. “I’ll be fine.”

He glared at him. "So your sats are supposed to be in the eighties?"

Fao hesitated. “Eighties?”

"You're sitting 89."

“Oh. Deep breaths, then.”

"And oxygen. You need some nebs."

“It’s probably jus’ postural, let me sit up and I’ll be better.”

Harrison didn't bother replying, but let the nurse by his bed adjust Fao to sit up. "Can someone get me five of salbutamol and five hundred ipratropium? We'll get a litre of normal saline running, start him on a broad spectrum abx, when we get bloods back, they can change it. Have we got the ecg done? Ah, brill."

He took a moment to read over Fao's strip. "You got any chest pain? Any palpitations? How have they been the past few days?"

Fao went to answer, but quickly changed his mind as he saw Harrison’s face. "It's been a bit tight but it’s not been awful. Nothing close to what it used to be. Thought it was just the infection. Is it that bad?"

"It doesn't look like you're having a heart attack or anything, but you've got a few runs of AF I'm not too happy with." He admitted. "Nothing I'm going to run off to cardio with you for, but enough that I want you to stay on monitoring for a little bit. Chances are, it's just the infection. We'll get that sorted, and you'll be better."

Fao nodded. “I hope I’m not having a fucking heart attack.” He grumbled. “I’ve really not felt that awful, I swear.” If Harrison was worried about his ECG, then maybe things were serious. Ely was going to kill him. 

"Can we get some IV hydrocortisone too? And a gram of IVP, help with this pain, settle the temp too, hopefully." Harrison called to his team, taking stock of his observations again. He listened to Fao's chest again, and nodded. There was a slight improvement to the wheeze, but it only highlighted the crackles. God knows how long he’d had this infection brewing.

Happy things were moving in the right direction, and that the staff were sorting the things he'd requested, he pulled the chair closer to Fao's side. "Hey, sorry for being a bit pushy."

"A bit?" He managed a laugh. “Try a lot.”

"Don't be an arse." Harrison said, reaching for Fao’s hand and giving it a squeeze. "You really aren't very well at the minute. I bet this has been going on for longer than you're gonna admit, but it's gonna get sorted. 

"I know you know the medical side of things more than most of my patients, but sometimes that makes it harder for you, too." He sighed. "Right now? I think you've got a pretty nasty infection that's more than likely this cough you've got going on. Your lactate is pretty high right now, obviously your oxygen is a fair bit lower than we want, and your heart rate is fast. Part of the rate will be the nebs we're slamming into you, but at the same time, I think you're septic. 

"We're gonna keep you here, try get this wheeze sorted first and then send you down to x-ray. You've got good air entry, I'm not too worried that you've got a pneumo or anything, but with your history, I want to be safe. We'll try and get your pain under a bit more control, get you more comfortable, but I need you to tell me. We're not mind readers, although I can tell when you're bullshitting me." He squeezed his hand again. "Is there anything you want from me? Anything you want me to do? Do you want me to call Ely? Sheila?"

“Sorry, septic?” He asked, taking a moment to take in all Harrison had told him. He felt bad, sure, but he’d been convinced it was nothing more that a chest infection he was struggling to shift, a bit of a wheeze that would go in time, a nice hangover from all of his history. He’d not been expecting Harrison to be that worried. He definitely felt crap, and Hars was right, the nebs weren’t helping his heart rate to feel any better. “It doesn’t feel like a pneumo, it just feels shitty.” He admitted. “You should call both of them. I’m not going to be able to escape without an admission, am I? Have you sorted another gensurg consult for that patient of yours? I think the bleep is still in my pocket.”

"The other patient is doing a lot better than you currently are. I'll be honest, right now, I'm doing my best to keep you from HDU." He sighed,  breaking from his doctor mode. "You've really not been well, Fao. Why didn't you tell someone? You've been running after the kids like a maniac, too. They'd have got someone in to cover you, take some of the pressure off. You need to put yourself first, or at least higher up on the chain."

“You can piss off with HDU.” He told him, digging in his pockets for the hard plastic of his bleep, which he shoved at Hars. “I honestly don’t have time to be ill. I took a couple of days off last week when I felt rotten, got some rest, but then I needed to come back in. I’ve not been sniffly, just the cough, and I can manage that. Not smoked in a week. The kids have so much on, and unsurprisingly they’ve not been well either. Been doing more non clinical hours, but we’re a surgeon down today and I had no other choice.”

"Well excuse me for giving a shit about you." He retorted. "You're my best friend, I need you to be okay."

“I’ll be fine. Supposed to be picking the kids up, though.”

"Tai's off today, he'll pick them up."

“Thanks. Ely’s on nights and she can’t get them picked up and sorted before she needs to come in.” He mumbled. “Sorry I fainted on you.”

"They can come have a sleepover. It's not a problem." He dropped his gaze. "I really can't lose you, Fao. I need you, and that means you need to put yourself first."

Fao cleared his throat, pushing at Hars gently. “Shush. You’re not getting rid of me.”

"I'm not that shit of a cons."

“Oh, course not.”

Harrison smiled. "How's everything feeling now?"

“Bit better.” He admitted. 

"Can I have a listen?"

Fao nodded. “Mm, go on.”

"Thanks." He hummed, standing with a groan. He listened to Fao's chest again, taking a moment. "Good news or bad news?"

Once Harrison had finished, Fao shuffled to get comfortable again. “Bad first.”

"The infection sounds like shit."

“And the good news?” He tried, looking hopeful.

"Your wheeze has pretty much gone, you've got really good air entry - especially for your chest, I'm surprised. And your blood pressure is doing a lot better."

Fao grinned. “So no HDU?”

"We'll move you to monitoring in a bit, too. I want to keep an eye on your lactate, but it’s looking hopeful."

“Good.” He said, and after a minute. “Thank you.”

"You're welcome." Harrison returned his grin. "Even if you do make my life difficult."

“I know it’s clinically a bad picture…” He murmured. “But I’ve felt worse than this.”

"That's not something to be proud of."

“No, it’s… I honestly didn’t think it was this bad. Almost felt worse wit’ the cold?”

"I know, it's okay."

“Didn’t know the AF was bad.”

"I've seen it worse. It's probably just because of the infection, the nebs, all of that. They're not long runs, and they're not super fast, nowhere near where they have been."

Fao nodded. “Haven’t really noticed it, an’ I usually do. Haven’t been bothered for ages, cardio told me to piss off.”

"Course they did." He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I'm not surprised you didn't. Your body was busy compensating for everything else."

He nodded again. “Yeah. Sorry. Is Finn in?”

"Should be soon. Sheila should be dropping him off, actually." He grinned. "Rock, paper, scissors for who has to call her?"

“You can. I can’t possibly. Too ill.” He said, gesturing at himself. 

"Dickhead. I'm glad you're feeling better."

He coughed, but he was grinning. “Had a good doctor.”

"I'll take the compliment. Let me go ring Sheila first, and then I'll catch Ely up, yeah?"

“Tell them both I’m fine, yeah?”

"I will."

“Hug?” He asked, trying his luck. 

"Yeah, come here." He leaned over, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before giving him a gentle squeeze. 

Awkwardly Fao lifted his arms to wrap them around Hars. “Thank you.”

"I'm always gonna be here for you."

“Here to kick my ass, more like.”

"Sometimes you need that, too."

[rextheravenous]

An Analysis of Blue Bayou and Dixie Landin

I've been SUPER fixated on this park and its issues since I went with Batz a few weeks ago, so here's a glimpse into my neurodivergence at its finest <3

Blue Bayou and Dixie Landin is a theme park located in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Opening in 1999, the park boasts 20 water rides- previously making the park known as ‘Land of the Giants’ for sporting 5 of the world’s largest waterslides-, 3 coasters (currently), and 24 more fair-style rides. Blue Bayou and Dixie Landin currently has a few major recorded incidents and I’m here to discuss those combined with the underhanded shady business practices going on behind the scenes because 🤷 what else do you do on a sunday

Blue Bayou and Dixie Landin has been a huge part of my childhood. I went there for the first time when I was 6 or 7 years old, and ever since then I have had a massive hyperfixation on theme parks. However, happy memories turned sour as I went there recently for a family vacation; the entire Dixie Landin half of the park was completely shut down, Blue Bayou was severely understaffed, and the most horrifying part of it all: the ticket prices (/hj). When you went in, it was five dollars for parking, fifty to get into the park (twice as much as full price used to be even with half the park shut down), and overpriced merchandise all throughout the waterpark. From what we could see of Dixie Landin, the rides looked worn down- like nobody had cared for them for years . We had a great time with what was open, but I couldn’t help but wonder: who or what made this once-great park end up in such a state of disrepair?

So there’s a lot to unpack here, I will be honest. I will go over the labor and pay violations last, as it still happens to this day and is getting worse each year. To start this analysis of the park’s flaws off, I will start with the thing I found the funniest in my research: a failed P!ATD concert.

In July 2015, Panic! At The Disco had a scheduled performance on the Coca-Cola concert stage. Thousands of people traveled from several hours away to see this concert, only to be met with a park that was not prepared for the overwhelming crowd of fans. The park was packed, the event gates opened an hour late, and there was no easy access to drinking water which left a multitude of folks dehydrated, some passing out, and one even having a seizure. Looking at BBDL’s reviews online, this was the start of the park’s bad reputation to the public. However, an incident in 2010 trumps this and is horribly overlooked, in my opinion. This is where we get into less-funny territory.

Around 4 PM on July 11th, Lindsay Zeno rode her last roller coaster in DIxie Landin. The 21 year old woman was riding on the ‘X-treme’ coaster with her friends when a restraint bar supposedly failed on the ride. There is no clear reason as to what happened, but stories vary from the locking mechanism not pushed in fully to her somehow tampering with the restraint. No matter how it happened though, she plummeted 30 feet to her eventual death after she was seen trying to pull the restraint down before a sharp curve. Experts were brought in and several critical investigations were performed on the ride, but no conclusion could be reached. This was the park’s first fatal incident. In 2006, there was another incident, but the victim survived and his family sued the park for it. A 2-year old (4-year old according to wikipedia) boy named Kobe Carter fell at least 25 feet on June 9th off of the ‘Over the Rainbow’ ride, breaking his arms and legs.

Surprisingly, those are the only two major injury/death related incidents. The final issue I would like to discuss is all of the financial issues surrounding Blue Bayou and Dixie Landin. This includes prices, employee payment, and how they spend their money regarding the park.

As I mentioned in the first bit of this analysis, the ticket prices are insane. Only half of the park is open, but the tickets are full price (and even higher than they used to be due to inflation). This was even more insane in early 2021-22, when they were only able to open a few of the rides at Blue Bayou, and only offered a small discount to make up for it. The staff were- and still are- being severely underpaid, causing a ton of negligence (Surprise! People don’t like to work for free!). Further research led me to one of their shady business practices: employees (who were mostly high school age just looking for summer jobs) work for minimum wage with the promise of a big bonus at the end of each season. Sounds great, right? It would be a decent payment plan, if it weren’t for the higher ups cutting the employees loose right before the bonus can be issued. (I don’t have an official source for it, but read this in a few of the park reviews and overheard it from some of the lifeguards on break).

The park owners also overcharge for everything with none of the earned money going back into the park, and will find any way to make and keep money they can. A few reviews from 2021 even said that they were in the waterpark for ten minutes maximum before a weather warning stopped the entire park for the rest of the day. This would be understandable if guests would get some sort of compensation for the $40-50 they just spent to get in, or if they would let them back in after the weather is clear, but they did nothing of the sort. No refunds, extremely rare price decreases, and cutting corners where they can manage it. The park need serious work to be done on it, such as repainting and making rides safer (some of the other guests while we were there had said they had been scratched up and injured by the waterslides as screws had come up and the sharp edges of the piping had come up in some spots.. And.. um. I can vouch for them because I too was a little beat up after some of the rides) and it has needed these repairs for a while now, but the owners want as much money as they can flowing into their pockets so they spare every expense they can.

Sad to say it, but if the park keeps raising prices with no improvements the way it has been, people will eventually just have enough and stop going, making Blue Bayou and Dixie Landin the eventual next star of a Defunctland video. If you look at the reviews online, it’s not hard to find people who have sworn to never go back. I personally hope the park gets new owners and can return back to the greatness it was when I was a kid, but I’m not sure how many more years it can hold up.

I’m tired after writing all of this (it's been like 4 hours now) so I hope it all makes sense. This isn’t a critique or a report or anything, just an analysis of what I’ve been hyperfixating on for the past few weeks because I was going to explode if I didn’t infodump about it <3

[wiredaughter]

@augustwritingchallenge : retail @aug-kissed : handkiss

crack × a laywomans take on retail × 1096 words × ao3

WIBTA if i nocall-noshowed tomorrow?

i’ll start by apologising for the long post, but I feel context is necessary to explain both my situation and my decisions - and for the mistakes, as im on mobile. TLDR at the end, all advice is appreciated, ill skip outright trolls, there’s a reason i posted here and not in TIFU.

i (M24) work as an assistant manager in this fast food restaurant out of the south west. since i understand the assumptions that come wiht that statement, ill be clear here: i enjoy my job. the chain i work for is not nationwide like say, kfc, but it’s an established popular option in my area. they have the highest standards for both food preparation and customer experience ive seen in the industry, the pay is competitive, the work environment motivating and we get full benefits. so why would i want to miss my shift tomorrow, i hear you ask, and it’s all down to my boss (M45)

my direct boss is also the chain owner. working so close to him might seem stressful on paper, but it’s not. this man has a real passion for the business and is ready to both work with you around scheduling needs and man the registers himself in the rare occasions we’re understaffed. he’s wellknown around town for his donations to education and a public supporter police force, dea specifically as you might have guessed from my general location. my boss is like a pillar of the local community, i guess is what im trying to say. he dresses neatly and is dedicated to all his projects.

now, more of the joys of being a border state, a little over a year ago there was an incident where some cartel men showed up to the restaurant wanting protection money. i was, as everyone present, alarmed at the situation and that didn’t improve when my boss dismissed all staff and asked to be left alone to deal with the men himself. of course i offered to stay, as i thought he could use the backup being the mildmannered entrepreneur he is. he declined, and i went home not knowing whether id see him alive again.

next morning he was there for opening like nothing had happened. he explained the situation, assured us he was in contact with the police in regards to the incident and offered full pay for the day before and counseling. as ive mentioned above, he believes in his business and cares for his impact in the community. ive watched narco movies so i was unsure whether that’d be it but chose to trust him. and he was right, his friendly relationship with law enforcement and faith in our system paid off and we didn’t have customer intimidation again. admitedly, this made my respect for the man take a turn for admiration. im lucky to work for him and ive been increasingly more aware of it as things went as expected for about a year

this takes us to last week, when i took a break from inventory to check the tables and saw one of the men from last year. a part of me wanted to confront him myself, but i figured my boss should be informed beforehand. i did so, worrying he’d choose to speak with the man and his companion alone again. he did, inviting them to his office, and although the exchange was outwardly pleasant i could tell he was rattled. it was not my place, so i said nothing.

last night as we were closing, one of my coworkers (M27) forgot to cover the grill. not wanting to keep him from his family (he;s got a 3yo and a baby) i said i’d do it myself. my boss was there already and this devolved into a cleaning rut on my part after he pointed out my coworker had done a subpar job. after i fixed it, he was still unsatisfied. i could tell it was a mental thing but, rather than pointing it out and asking to share the load of whatever the men wanted, i got back to it when it looked like he’d do it himself. the grill was spotless and i was already staying late, but on the other hand i get overtime and i figured it’d be the best course of action to put him at ease. seemed like the least i could do, considering whatever he’s dealing with behind the scenes.

in the end, he deemed my work acceptable, which is dry for his usual assessments, and i knew he was weighed by his troubles. like seeing i was somewaht crestfallen after slaving at the grill for the better part of an hour he offered a handshake and, this is the crux of the matter, instead of shaking i kissed his knuckles. it was awkward and i said my goodbyes on my way to the door, drove straight home and tried to work on my classwork to no avail, distracted by today’s events and dreading tomorrow. i thought of calling in sick but i don’t lie to my boss, i thought of going in pretending nothing happened but that’s unthinkable. rn all i can think of is no showing without a call until i stop feeling weird but that’s so unprofessional i don’t know what to do with myself and my boss doesn’t need to have a MIA assistant manager on top of everything going on right now. still, it’s the option that doesn’t make me lose my mind so WIBTA if i went through with it?

TLDR: i have great respect for my boss and last night i foolishly expressed it through a handkiss like i was literally kissing the ring and now i can’t show my face at work again but i can’t call in and lie to him about a personal matter coming up which leaves the no call no show option but my boss is already under considerable stress and i don’t want to leave him hanging but would that be the best option?

edit: MY BOSS IS NOT IN WITH THE CARTELS, that’s the entire issue. he’s just a man who emigrated to our country expecting to be free from that kind of corruption and has worked hard to be where he is today

edit: do not ask if i have a crush on my boss that’s unprofessional

LAST EDIT: stop trying to guess the restaurant and, i can’t believe this needs to be said,don’t show my post to your server they’re busy people.

[uselessboss]

Ente & Vivre's Story (Chapter 5)

“Are you looking forward to our outing today Vivre?”

“Yes brother!” She squealed, legs kicking up and down in barely contained excitement. It was her brother's day off after all!

“I'm glad to see you be as enthusiastic as I am" Odel chuckled as he clicked her seatbelt in place. “I was looking forward to this day too”

She adored her kind brother.

Despite being so busy with work and having to raise her all by himself after their parents' passing he never let her lack anything. He always made sure to ask about her day, listening to her speak with interest and playing with her whenever he had free time. No matter what they choose to do her brother was always attentive, patient and caring, which was why she loved spending time with him.

“Where are we going today?”

“To a place called “Planetarium””

“What is that?”

“You will see" her brother smiled.

She gasped in awe.

Hundreds of stars covered the ceiling of the bug room they were in, twinkling beautifully in contrast with dark space projected by a machine nearby.

“What do you think?” Her brother whispers.

“It's so pretty!” her eyes shine just like the stars, enraptured by its beauty.

“That's how the sky above us looks like"

“Huh? But when I look out of my window at night I don't see the sky like this"

“Well, it's hard to see stars in the city but in the countryside, where the air is cleaner it is possible. I saw it with my own eyes in my travels” Odel smiled. “And not just the starry skies. The waves of the ocean, the sounds of rainfalls in nature… There are many other beautiful sights in this world Vivre"

“Wow…”

“And one day, when you are a bit older, I will bring you with me to see all of those wonderful sights"

She remembers looking forward to growing up and of her anticipation of what would be like to see those incredible places with her own eyes. She wrote many plans in a small notebook, of her and her brother, together, laughing and having the time of their lives.

However that promise would go unfulfilled. Her brother died before that could happen and after his passing there was no room nor time for wonders in her heart. Many other lives were lost at that time, strong and brave souls just like her brother's, the best of the best in the Organization and as result they became severely understaffed to deal with the outbreaks of supernatural cases popping all over the world from enemies taking advantage of their vulnerable position.

The strongest remainining members of the Organization had to deal with those cases with almost no breaks, which meant that Matthias had to be away an awful lot during those times. Even managing to get home wasn't a guarantee of being able to spend time together as Matthias was so exhausted that more often than not he fell asleep on the hard floor of their entrance.

"I'm sorry Vivre, I lost the time again" Matthias sighs as he holds her hand while taking her to school, the first day in a good while that he managed to get a proper break. "Urgh... These constant travels are really messing with my sense of time"

"Uh... H-How was... How did the sky looked like in your travels? Was it pretty?"

"I... I'm sorry. I don't remember. I was too exhausted to pay attention"

"Oh..."

Matthias felt really bad for being a downer so he bought her a night lamp that projected colorful stars, moons and suns.

It reminded her of her time at the planetarium. It might not have been anything like what the more sofisticated projector showed that day but it was still pretty and amazing in its own way. She and Matthias would place pillows and blankets on the center of the living room and lay close to each other, watching the fakes stars moving around on the ceiling until they both feel asleep under the artificial starry sky.

She slowly opens her eyes.

“A dream?”

A pleasant and gentle memory of her past. Filled with laughter, wonders and comforting warmth.

“I wonder why… Why did I have this dream? Why now?”

Was it thanks to Ente's influence? For being made to work with children and being encouraged to remember about the kindest parts of her childhood? Bringing to life all the love and affection she once received from her loved ones?

It still didn't make any sense for her. It was as if he was trying… To… Help her.

To heal the wounds of her trauma?

“But why would he… Huh?” Vivre stopped her musings as she heard noises coming from outside. “Laughter?”

It was the sound of children's giggles and squeals, but why would…

She abruptly got up and opened the curtains.

There were children playing outside.

She looked at the clock in her room, her face going deathly pale.

She was late.

“AH! I can't believe I overslept!” She screams in panic as she quickly undresses and desperately fishes for appropriate clothing to wear.

Not even once, outside of unforeseen circumstances of course, she has ever been late for her duties. It was so mortifying!

“Why didn't Ente wake me up? Or was I so deep in my sleep that- Huh? A piece of paper under the door?”

‘Good Morning Miss Swan. I came to check on you(outside of your room of course) and seeing as you were having a pleasant dream I didn't have the heart to wake you up. You don't need to worry about being late, please take all the time you need and when you are ready you can meet me in the kitchen.’

Oh. So that's why.

“I guess I will use this time to properly take care of my appearance then, after all it won't do to look like a mess”

But as she looked at her reflection on the mirror of the wardrobe an idea popped up in her mind as she recalled the memories she was reminiscing the day prior. Maybe… Just maybe she should try to change her hairstyle a bit today?

0-0-0-0

“Good Morning Ente. I apologize for my tardiness!” Vivre opens the door of the kitchen in a hurry.

“No. It's alright. Today I… Oh?” Ente paused what he was doing when he turned to see her, his eyes widening in surprise. “Did you change your hairstyle today Miss Swan?”

“Y-Yes" she flusters, for some reason feeling a bit shy and self-conscious. “…What do you think?”

It has been a long time since she last styled her hair differently, so she didn't try to do anything fancy. She simply pulled one side of her locks back and braided it to go around the back.

“It looks really pretty" Ente replies, voice breathy and in awe. “It's also the first time I have ever seen your hair down, I had no idea it was this long, it's really beautiful how it cascade in layers.”

Thump. Thump.

“I-I am glad you think it looks good enough.” She turns her gaze away, feeling herself flush down to her neck. “I learned how to style my hair when I was younger so I thought it might be something of use. For an a-activity I mean"

“Oh! That would be a great idea! I usually buy materials to use for the Kindergarten's activities on weekends so we could browse for hair ties and other accessories too.”

“Well… Thank you for thinking it's worth a shot"

“I mean it Miss Swan. The girls are always commenting how beautiful you are so I think they will be really happy to have you do their hair"

“T-That's…!”

Ah… Seriously, how was he able to easily say things like these without an ounce of embarrassment?

Growl~

Her blushing deepens.

“Ah! You must be hungry right? I am making sandwiches for today's lunch so feel free to help yourself to any filling of your liking"

“That’s… A lot of variety" She notes as she stares at the bowls covering the table. A diversity of fresh salads, sliced tomatoes, cucumbers and bell peppers as well as shredded meats and sauces. It reminded her of a breakfast selection of some fancy hotels she once stayed in. “Why sandwiches if you don't mind me asking?”

“Today was forecasted to be the hottest day of the week so I was trying to come up with a food with fresh ingredients. You can have different salads and sauces for sandwiches so I thought it would make for the perfect dish today"

“Huh, it does make a lot of sense when you put it like that" She nods as she takes a bite from the sandwich she made. It was made of shredded chicken, salad, white cheese and of a sauce of green color. “It's delicious! I never tasted a sauce like this, I like the tang and spicy flavor. The white cheese is also different from the ones I usually eat.”

“I am happy to hear you like it. I made them myself.” Ente smiles. “There's also juice in the fridge if you want. 100% made of fresh fruits too."

“Your homecooked meals really are something else"

"Thank you"

It was comfortable.

Having a homecooked meal in the company of another person, listening to the rhythmic sounds of food being prepared in the kitchen as well as the soft and gently humming filling the air... It felt cozy. Warm.

Homely.

She took another bite.

"Your appetite seems to have improved" Ente notes. "You look like you are brimming with more energy too. Did you have a good rest?"

'There are many other beautiful sights in this world Vivre.'

"Yes. I did" she admits with a soft smile.

"I'm glad to hear that"

"Ente, why are you... W-well. Anyway, what did you do with the kids today?" She diverts the topic.

She wanted to ask why he was helping her. Why he was doing so much for someone that was supposed to be his enemy. How he could be so gentle and warm towards someone he hates. She had so many questions...

And yet she couldn't utter a single one.

She didn't want to think about the reason behind that. Because she knew that if she started to question it then she would begin to have doubts and she didn't want that.

"I thought it might be better it we took it easy today so I have them play outside with water guns and bubble bottles to cool themselves off."

"Would that really be ok?"

"Don't worry. I instructed them to not run unsupervised and what part to not aim their water guns to avoid injuries. They are good kids and I taught them how to be responsible so I trust them. The floor outside is also made of non slipping foam mats so it will cushion impacts from falls." Ente assures her. "Of course, if anything were to happen the kids know to call me"

Vivre thinks back to the proactive and independent way they handled the "crises" in their team efforts.

He... Wasn't wrong.

"That said I also don't like to leave them unsupervised for too long" He winked. "I'm almost done here so after I finish storing all the ingredients in the fridge we can go see them."

"Let me help you then" She offers. "So, you know, to finish it earlier"

"I will take you up on your offer then"

0-0-0-0-0

"Miss Swan!" The children greeted when they saw her. "We thought you weren't appearing today!"

"I apologize for being late kids. I ended up oversleeping"

"Would you like to play with us?"

"Yes. Of course"

"Wait a moment Miss. Swan" Ente unties his apron and puts on her. "So you won't get your clothes soaked"

"Ah... T-Thanks" Vivre blushes as she fiddles with straps of the apron and adjust the tie behind her. "There. I'm ready now"

"Miss Swan! Miss Swan" a little girl pulls her hand with a whisper. "Can I ride your shoulders?"

"Huh? Why me and not Ente?"

"Because Mr. Ente is too tall! It's not fair! I want to hit him with my water gun too"

"Oh~I see" She smirks, crouching down so the little girl can climb her back. "Are you comfortable there?"

"Yes! Ah, and by the way I like your new hairstyle! It's really pretty!"

"Thank you sweety. Now hold tight alright?" She smiles as she turns to Ente. "Ente?"

"Yes?" Ente innocently replies, unaware of what's to come to him.

"Got you!" The little girl giggles as she soaks Ente's face with her water gun.

"Whoa!"

"Dropping your guard so soon despite my last warning aren't we Mr. Miller?" She jokingly teases.

"Hey! To my defense it's 2 against 1, I'm being outbumbered here!" Ente playfully jokes back, wipping his wet bangs aside in mock offense. "That's hardly fair!"

"Mr. Ente! Mr. Ente! Let me help you!" Another child offers, pulling Ente's leg pants.

"Now we are talking!" Ente also crouches down so the kid can climb his shoulders. "There it is. Now we are on even playing field!"

The rest of the children were quick to join the fun. Althrough the activity was supposed to be just casual play it soon enough became a mini-competition as the children formed teams around both her and Ente on their own, making rules about how the ones sitting on top of their shoulders were the leader, making a system of points and claiming that whoever made more points would be the next leader as a prize.

"Hahah~This was refreshing"

"Yes. It was." She concurs.

They decided to call a break after the sunlight got stronger so now everyone was resting under the shade of the trees.

"Wow" I got totally soaked" Ente wipped his face with the rem of his shirt, exposing the skin of his stomach.

Vivre's eyes inadvertently trailed to that area taking note of how well defined his tan muscles were.

"Is someting the matter Miss Swan? You are staring."

"A-Ah no." Vivre stutters, her face reddening as if she got a sunburn. She really was a total pervert. "I was just surprised. You are rather "fit" for someone that isn't a fighter"

"I guess It might be because I was blessed with my mom's genes" Ente jokes.

Grimoire Miller. The woman that boasted the highest amout of feats in the history of the Organization not counting its founder Euryale Miller. With many solved cases under her belt, both from terminating illicit cults' activities and ending threats that reached catastrophic levels of danger, she was touted as an unprecedent force to be reckoned with. Her spiritual power level was so abnormally high that it even surpassed her older brother's and his power was nothing to sneeze at.

"Not to mention physically as well"

She saw some photos of her. To say her physique was "Amazonian" would be an understatement. She could rival Matthias in build and power. It was undeniable how imposing she was.

Which made the lack of information over her apparent death even more odd and something that eluded her.

How did such a powerful woman like her die? What kind of threat was dangerous enough or trickery foul enough to fell her? What was the truth behind her disappearence?

"Just kidding" Ente says, cutting her thought process with that neutral voice that doesn't reveal any secrets nor feelings. "Althrough it wasn't as thoroughly as yours I also did have some training under my father's guidance so that I could at least protect myself if he wasn't around"

So that he wouldn't be a liability, he adds in a low whisper.

"What do you..."

"Aaaanyway. How about we have a match Miss Swan? I bet the kids would love if we put a show for them"

"...Ok"

Ente clearly doesn't want to talk about it so she will let it slide for now.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"I might have used it as an excuse to change topics but I guess this could be a good opportunity to assess her progress"

"You can be as "flashy" as you want Miss Swan" He tells her as they circle each other with the comically clashing neon water gun toys in hands. "We have only children as spectators so their accounts of our match would be "embellished" one way or another"

In other words, even if the children were to talk about their supernatural powered match it would come off as a child's fertile imagination coloring their retelling of the tale. They were safe to go all out.

"Very well"

Those were the last words Miss Swan uttered as well as her last warning as she got in his face in an instant.

He tried to step back in surprise but she simply grabbed one of his arms and yanked him forward as she readied her watergun to hit him pointblank.

Noticing the danger he was in he planted the heel of his feet on the ground and threw his body back as he blocked the shot with the side of his watergun, making her let go of his hand with a pirouette in the air to correct her position for a safe landing and him somersaulting back to his feet.

She was much faster than their first meeting. Her footwork was also more stable and precise as well.

"And this is the result of just a couple days with proper rest"

He might have had the upper hand in spiritual power but it felt more like he was the one at a disadvantage here. Miss Swan clearly had the experience and proper training on her side, her movements far more polished and refined than his, so to keep up with her he expended far more spiritual power to enhance his body, which could lead to his loss under a prolongued battle.

He didn't feel anything in their first encounter because she was so debilitated that she didn't register as a threat but now... He wasn't so sure.

Miss Swan probably reached a similar conclusion as she changed her attacks to quick and small feints, making use of her flexible body to attack at odd angles and only sparingly using her spiritual power for small bursts to sudden accelerate for a retreat, forcing him to be on guard as he had to guess when the real attack would come.

She was forcing him to expend his spiritual power at a higher rate than hers.

He started to grow apreheensive.

He didn't even consider the ramifications of his actions when he decided to help her but now that the possibility of Miss Swan possibly beating became apparent he started to second guess if it was a good idea.

If she suddenly decided to end their truce right there...

'Target the boy!'

He froze.

"Got you" Miss Swan announced as she finally landed a shot on him.

0-0-0-0-0

"Aah... Ahh..."

"...Ente?" Vivre asks in worry.

Ente froze for a moment and she got a shot on him. She was about to comemorate on her win when she suddenly felt something off with him.

"That was incredible! Congratulations Miss Swan!" The children cheered. "And Mr. Ente too! That was super cool!"

"Aaah..."

"...Mr. Ente?"

"I think the heat got to him" Vivre quickly puts herself in front of Ente."It might be better if you went inside children. Don't worry, I will make sure he's ok"

The children looked at each other in concern but did as she did, heading inside, leaving Vivre alone with Ente.

"Ente... Can you hear me?" She asks, placing a hand on Ente's face.

Ente's face was pale, eyes unfocused and his breath became fitful and haggard. His body trembled all over while pitiful sobbing sounds came out of his mouth.

He was having a panic attack.

She embraced his body against hers.

'People with spiritual powers are born with something called "Supernatural affinity", an ability to make us highly emphathetic to other beings' emotional state to the point of feeling them like they are our own.' She remembers Matthias teachings about supernatural affinity. 'One of the uses you could have from it is to either intimidate your foes by conveying hostility or mentaly soothe them by conveying serenity'

Maybe if she projected feelings of tranquilitity she would be able to bring him back to his senses?

"What do you think you are doing?"

"Brot... Her?"

"Why are you helping the enemy?" The distorted voice of her brother whispers

"I..."

"Are you going to lose your resolve? I raised you with so much love and care and now you are going to betray me for someone you just knew for less than a week?"

"I know that. I know but..."

She couldn't leave him like that. Not when he was agonizing this much, not when his heart was crying so loudly in despair and fear, not when...

Her thoughts were stopped to a halt as she felt hands grip her back. Ente held her desperately to her as if he was afraid of letting go, as if he would lose everything if he didn't do so, his distress, pain and terror pouring out of him like a torrent.

She tightens her own hold on him.

"Everything will be alright" She whispers, closing her eyes to focus on sending as much warmth and reassurance as she could. "I won't go anywhere. Not until you feel safe. I will be here for as long as it takes"

She rubs his back as she keeps repeating encouraging words to him. Swaying from one side to another, humming a soft melody from time to time and gently calling to him.

"Miss... Swan?" Ente weakly calls her.

"It seems you have returned to your senses" She pulls back to see his face, holding it between her hands. "How are you feeling?"

"I... Am feeling ok now"

"That's good to hear"

"About what happened I..."

"Ssh. It's ok, you don't have to tell me"

He always respected her boundaries when it came to her old wounds so it was only fair for her to repay his favor by respecting his.

"Ah! Wait! The children!" Ente looks around as he finally gather his bearings. "What about the children? What happened to them?"

"Don't worry, they didn't see your panic attack. I shielded you from view and asked them to go inside"

"I... See." Ente visibly breaths in relief. " Thank you Miss Swan. For handling everything. I'm grateful that the children didn't have to see me... Like this"

"It's alright, don't mention it"

"...We should probably go back now, if we take any longer the kids will start to worry"

"Are you sure?"

Ente nods, but as he tries to take the first step he strumbles, requiring her to catch him before he falls.

"Ah! Sorry. I guess I'm still shaking a bit"

"...Here" She grasps his hand on hers. "Hold on to my hand, I will make sure you won't fall"

"Ah... T-Thanks" Ente flusters as he shyly closes his hand around her hold.

"It might be a bit earlier but... If you don't mind Ente would it be ok for me to take charge of the next activity?"

Ente looks at her in surprise.

"Maybe it was too sudden of a request after all?"

Panic attacks took a toll on you, in body, mind and spirit. She knew that better than anyone after enduring it for so many years so she was sympathetic to his distress. It might have been an impulsive offer but she couldn't help it, seeing him like that, trembling to the core, it made her want to do something, anything, to reassure and ease his heart.

"Ok. I will trust you"

"You are? I-I mean, if you have any observation to make or any adjustments I need to watch for please tell me"

"Of course"

He finally smiled.

"Mr. Ente is feeling better but just to be on the safer side I will take charge of this activity so he can recover a bit more" Vivre clapped her hands, trying to mimic what she could recall of Ente's actions. "I will teach you how to make paper crafts today, starting with star decorations!"

She was lucky that colorful and patterned papers were part of the Kindergarten's standard materials. She could make use of her expertise at making charms to play it as a paper folding activity.

She was particularly skilled at making stars, hence choosing it as the first pick, after all it was less likely for her to mess up something if she worked with something she was well used doing.

“I wonder if it is because of my memories of my visit to the planetarium with my brother"

“I didn't know you were skilled at crafts Miss Swan"

“Fighting wasn't the only thing I was taught. Making protective charms and amulets were also part of my training.” She finishes gluing the small stars she just folded to the bookmark she crafted. “Here. Have this.”

“What is this? A bookmark?”

“And an amulet. The kind that “eases" hearts off"

Another thing Matthias taught her was that objects, mementos if you will, carried “intent” within them, so they, as people who possessed “supernatural affinity”, were capable of perceiving those emotions imprinted on them. It was a characteristic that came up more under the context of an investigation but it was also not that unheard of to have it done purposely. You could convey your soul with it, your true feelings, in ways words would be unable to express. It spoke to another's heart in a way unlike anything else.

“…I am an utter fool” Ente chuckles.

“Ente?”

It felt laughable silly to even let himself doubt for a moment.

She could have easily killed him right there. There were no witnesses and he was at a vulnerable position. He wouldn't have been able to react nor offer any resistance if she wished to enact her revenge right there.

Yet she held him. She shared her warmth. Her touch, both from the hands that embraced him and from her soul was gentle and protective. Her kind voice brought him back from the darkness his soul was stuck in.

‘I won't go anywhere. Not until you feel safe. I will be here for as long as it takes’

And keeping her word she did. He thought that she would let go of him as soon as he came back to his senses but then she surprised him by reaching for his hand and grasping it to make sure he wouldn't fall. She made a charm filled with the intent to reassure and comfort him. She looked for his well being.

Thump. Thump.

“I-I was just trying to repay back your help when we first met" Vivre tries to play it off.

No. That wasn't quite right. There was gratitude there of course, but it wasn't a there was to it. Something drove her to help him, something…

“I am going to check if the children need help"

She knew she was being a coward but she couldn't help it. She needed more time to thinks through. She needed more time to prepare herself… To face the ugly truths.

The rest of the day thankfully went without a hitch. After they finished their activity they had lunch and Ente seemed much better by then, he was back to his cheerful self and his smile was no longer strained. They shared a meal, side by side, in comfortable company, the food tasting as amazing as always. She also might, or might not have ate more than usual. (It was truly unfair how good of a cook Ente was)

The afternoon shift was spent leisurely with Ente making sure everyone stayed hydrated by bringing more jars of juice and the children playing cards and board games among themselves. She even got to participate in a few games, some of which brought out more of her fond memories from her childhood and the others that she didn't know being taught by the children who were delighted to teach her. It made her feel closer to them somehow, although she would attribute it to the earlier events of that day and also for being the first time she took the initiative to approach them of her own.

“And speaking of taking initiative…”

It didn't apply only for the children. She couldn't put her finger on exactly why, but she felt that something had changed between her and Ente after she extended her hand to help him. They became less wary and more comfortable around each other. There was a sense of trust between them now.

She tried to say to herself it was out of “obligation", out of a sense of gratitude, but the truth was that it was a decision she took out of her own will. She decided to help him despite her belief that her brother would disapprove of her actions, it was 100% a conscious decision from her part.

“It's something I finally came to realize after today's events" Ente smiles. “Regardless of your past and circumstances you are a gentle person at your core"

She doesn't know what to say.

“I wonder why…” He whispers wistfully. “I don't know how you will feel about what I am going to say but… As a person, I really like you.”

0-0-0-0-0

“…So all of that happened?” Matthias asks.

“Yes"

Matthias hums deep in thought.

“So? Why did you decide to help him?”

It wasn't an accusatory tone nor did he sound mad. Just inquisitive and intrigued, like he had picked on something and wanted to confirm if his hunch was correct.

"I guess... It was because he reminded me of myself."

Fear, anxiety, attachment, love and sorrow. They were the same as hers.

'...So that I wouldn't be a liability'

He knew exactly what it felt like to lose someone while being completely powerless to do anything.

An uneasy feeling bloomed inside her chest.

It had to do with that persistent and nagging sense of wrongness that kept feeling about the weird and mysterious circumstances surrounding Grimoire Miller's death.

'Were you present when it happened?'

Ente witnessed his mother's death.

"Say... Matthias" Her voice faltered. "Your family had close ties with Euryale right? Did you ever get the chance to acquaitance yourself with Grimoire Miller?"

Matthias' lineage, the Lavernes, were co-founders of the Organization and it was said that their ancestor had a close bond with Euryale as well.

According to the story that has been passed down through the Matthias' lineage their ancestor was a woman subjected to the worst of humanity's depravity, being robbed of having a story to tell besides the sins engraved in her body, lacking any ties to the world and not having a name to mourn her departure if she no longer existed in it. Her life was treated as if it was expendable, lower than livestock- All so she could be groomed into an offering for a profane ritual.

Euryale Miller saved her from that fate.

She rescued her, gave her the name "Laverne" as a proof of her being above the suffering inflicted on her and when Laverne discovered she was pregnant of her captor and decided to keep the child Euryale was there to support both of them. Her benefactor's kindness and compassion was engraved in her soul and as a result she swore an oath of loyalty and devotion towards her, a promisse that to this day her descendants still honored.

"Yes. As you can imagine we were regarded as not only close confidants to Miss Euryale, but also as a family so I had the opportunity to get to know her daughter, Grimoire Miller, as well" Matthias confirms. "...She was like a cool big sister to me. Strong, brave, honest, straightforward and wise. I really looked up to her."

"It doesn't make any sense"

Matthias was someone who could be trusted to judge a person's character so if he had nothing but praises to say about someone then it stood to reason that they couldn't be a person of foul nature. If Grimoire was a traitor to the cause or a corrupt person then it would have been stated so in the Organization's documents and yet the circumstances of her death were kept vague. If it was a case of "punishment" then, putting the fact that she was her daughter aside, Euryale would have used her infamous "petrifying gaze" to deal with the issue as she often opted for non-lethaly ways to deal her judgment. She only resorted to killing them under extreme circumstances which seemed to be far unlikely in this case.

"Unless..."

Unless her exection was done behing Euryale's back?

But that would mean...

"Let me do it"

"Huh?"

"You have your hands full already Vivre and worrying about this on top of everything else will do you no good so leave the investigation to me" Matthias explained.

"Would that really be alright?"

"I understand that there are some "grave implications" to take from what we gathered so far but I think it's still too early for you to torment yourself like that. There are still many puzzle pieces missing for a proper conclusion to be reached after all"

"I guess... You are right. Thank you Matthias, I will leave it to you then"

"No, I should be the one thanking you for putting your trust in me." Matthias smiled. "... Good night Vivre, I wish you have- no, to "keep" having good dreams."

"I wish you the same. Good night Matthias"

"To have good dreams huh?"

That was the reason she had come to this place right? To get her revenge and put to rest those demons and nightmares that have been tormenting her. To finally set herself free.

However, despite having failed to take "his life" she was... Healing. Her nightmares have been decreasing and she even managed to smile again. Because of "him".

"Was I mistaken?" she hugs herself. "Please, tell me..."

Brother...

[cavefairy]

work (and also just. everything) sucked today wough. rlly rlly long vent under cut ig

tbh we shouldnt have even been open its a fucking holiday. it wasnt even that busy all things considered, but we were wildly understaffed (there was literally 5 of us in the entire arcade. which is the minimum we need to function. so already Not Good) and i was exhausted after staying up late last night. so i get there 20mins early, stop n chat with the person on dark ride (bc hes super nice and rlly good to talk to and i like working w him. he went home when i clocked in tho), and im having a decent day at that point. we had taken down the christmas stuff in the morning and toast had been extra vicious bc ig she wanted to play w all the ornaments n shit, but anyways. i kill time, then drop my shit under the golf shack counter and clock in. i havent even been in redemption for 2 minutes when one guy is like 'hey [person at laser tag] wants to know if youll head over to laser tag' and im like 'yeah okay' and i go over there and that person is going on her break. and the other person that was on laser tag swaps to dark ride. so im by myself, which isnt allowed, we have to have 2 people on laser tag at all times. so that... wasnt great. the other person thats supposed to be at laser tag was a few minutes late, but they were there in time for me to run the game that needed to start. so we're doing fine, we're alternating games, and then im like 'hey, im gonna take over dark ride when their shift over there is up' and the person with me just looks at me. and now im getting nervous like i fucked up. and they say to me 'well whos gonna be on laser tag then' and IM CONFUSED bc they were scheduled for laser tag and i dont understand what they mean. so i responded 'arent u scheduled over here' and they say 'yeah but i was gonna go to redemption with [person who had asked for me to come to laser tag] after her break'

and at that moment. im like. oh. we're gonna play musical shifts bc you two wanna work together. got it. so i dont argue it anymore bc i have a game to run and we cant discuss it anymore at that time. after i came out of that game, the guy who was on dark ride swapped with the person who was on break, and he went to redemption. so im still at laser tag with the same person. and we go back to our alternating games and talking shit abt the schedule bc HOLY FUCK. we cant be doing this with only 5 people. anyways, we do that for a while and then the person on dark ride asks if i can close it tonight. and im like yeah okay, i hate doing it but i can if i need to. and then instead of waiting until closer to 8 so im only there an hour, the guy that had started at laser tag comes back and asks me to head to dark ride at 630. so the person at dark ride goes to redemption, that guy goes back to laser tag, and everyone is technically where they were scheduled to begin with (dark ride is a 'you sign up for a shift during whatever ur scheduled for' so with me being technically scheduled for redemption i was also kinda supposed to swap out for dark ride at some point). and i hatehatehate dark ride. its loud. i need my earplugs in order to be near it. thankfully i usually have them, so i was okay, but i was running it for 2 and a half hours. 630 to 9, and we close at 9. it didnt go awfully, everyone that came thru was rlly nice and it was fairly chill. but then closing happened. now, one of the 5 people that were in arcade was one of the leads. i love her dearly, shes awesome, but she was scheduled to get off at 9, so she didnt help w closing stuff.

so the 4 of us remaining closed the whole arcade. i did all of dark ride's stuff, and gathered all of the arcade trash. and therein lies the biggest source of holy fuck i cried. because. not only is that like, 10 trashcans, but i kept running out of trashbags. so the first trashcan, it had soda in the bottom. no big deal, i just have to go dump it out and clean it (running a bit of water w soap into it and swooshing it around, and then drying it with a rag). okay, great. i get that, get thru a few more cans, and have to wash out another. the second one, i accidentally get some of the icky cleaner-water on my jeans and one of my shoes (my favorite sunflower slip-on vans). so that rlly just. put me right on the edge of my breaking point. i get thru the rest of arcade's trash EXCEPT for laser tag, and i run out of trashbags. all of them. and im like well what the fuck do i do now. so i ask the manager thats supposed to be closing us out (i like him, hes nice), and hes like 'go see if [place over by bowling area] has some'. so i go take 3 of their 4 remaining trashbags (had to grab one for the person who was cleaning the bowling area, she needed one), and take my 2 to laser tag to get their trash. lo and behold, a third trashcan i have to clean. im fucking DONE at this point. i cant do it anymore. my eyes start watering, im stomping into the kitchen to go clean it, the manager comes in and is grabbing something and i just. id started ranting out loud and tbh i dont think he minded i think he understood why but i was just like 'im done im quitting i cant do this anymore. i cant do it. today fucking sucked im done i cant do this' and then i started crying. the first time, anyway. hes nice abt it and he just gently asks me to turn the lights off when i leave the kitchen and its FINE its GREAT i take the now-clean trashcan back to the laser tag area and go to take the trash to the compacter. and man. there is a bigass pile of bags and boxes in front of the garage door where the compacter is. so i open the door to dump the trash in, and wow. the compacter is full. and not working. so i cant do anything. i go back, ask the manager, he says to just leave the trashbags on the pile and bring the big trashcan back to where it goes. so i do. and im upset and im done and im holding it in and he comes over to dark ride while im grabbing my bag and the walkie and he asks 'are you okay ?' and i just. snapped. i wish i hadnt said it the way i did but i just went 'no !' and the tears started up again. i was full-on fucking SOBBING at work. the person id been at laser tag with, one of my favorite people, she comes up to me bc im heading into redemption to put the walkie away, and she asks whats up and walks with me and lets me vent at her for a minute, and on the way out she stopped me and told me to breathe and talked me thru most of the tears and hyperventilating enough for me to talk clearly again. she hugged me and just let me cry for a sec and then made double sure i was okay to drive, and then we parted ways at the door. i headed to walmart cos i had to get stuff for my car (gotta change my oil this weekend), and walking around helped. i got a snack and things were alright for a while.

yeah. something else had to go wrong. abt 15 mins out i got a fucking flat tire. i live an hour from work. i was 45 minutes from home. and i stop, i look at the tire, yep its flat, and get back in the car to call dad. no answer. call mom, she answers. i apologized for waking her up, told her i had a flat, and she woke dad up to come take a look. she talked to me for the whole 45 minutes it took him to get to me. i ate my snack, told her abt work, and finally dad showed up. i let mom go back to sleep, and he looked at my tire, and yeah. it was unfixable, at least in the dark. hes gonna have to go rescue my car and take it to get new tires tomorrow (technically, today. all the car shit went down at 11pm. its currently about 130am). we just got all my important stuff out and locked it, and left it where it was bc we couldnt fix my tire. he drove me home, and here we are. im exhausted, im gonna sleep in tomorrow, and im gonna try to have a chill day. i cannot take another thing going wrong right now.

[casspurrjoybell-24]

Sugar Punch - Chapter 57

*Warning Adult Content*

- Theo -

One Month Later...

I groaned awake, every muscle in my body hurting from last night.

Why did I agree to 'that'?

When I knew it was already a bad idea as soon as it came out of Aiden's mouth, but because he had asked me more than once, I caved in and finally agreed.

It's been a month since I moved in with Maddox and since then we have spent almost every day together and whilst it has been fun, I drove Maddox to and from his physical therapy and it was good, until it wasn't.

We've been dating for a month and we had our first big fight, that didn't involve him breaking up with me and because I was so damn mad and couldn't be around him without a screaming match between us, I accepted Aiden's offer.

Aiden had retired from mixed martial arts and had went into the clubbing business with one of his friends and because of how hot the club is doing right now, they were severely understaffed.

I only realised it was all made up the moment I arrived and he had only said they were understaffed to get me there.

I was very comfortable with myself and I had gotten more confident than I was back in high school, so when Aiden told me I was at his club to be a 'show fighter' I almost made it out the club before he caught me.

I had spent almost three hours fighting whilst the club hosted a 'girls night' not only did I feel dirty after each round but I made a few bucks, which made me feel all the more worse.

The guy I was fighting was good too but because the cash was too hard to ignore, he did it freely, whilst I was practically forced into it.

A knock at the door makes me stir more awake, as I pull myself up from my stomach, smelling my alcohol and smoke, a disgusting combination that made me almost gag.

"Theo, you awake? I want to talk," Maddox said, behind the door as I felt a burning sensation in my throat.

Oh, God... no.

I quickly got up off the bed and ran across the bedroom and opened the door, I pushed past Maddox and headed straight for the toilet, where I emptied everything in my stomach, which wasn't much.

The next time I see Aiden, he's dead meat.

I never drank but last night I was so mad at Maddox... dammit, I felt so pathetic, taking it all out in a stupid way, which only backfired.

"How much did you drink last night?" Maddox asked, as I saw him hand me a glass full of water, from the corner of my eyes as I sat down beside the toilet.

I accepted the drink and drank it greedily, as I looked up and stared at Maddox, his arms crossed and looking sexy... but disappointed as he stared down at me pitifully.

"Not that much..." I pulled my eyes from him. "I'll feel better after a shower."

It was so awkward and I didn't want to argue anymore with him over something just because we didn't agree on what we fought about.

My head was hurting and the way Maddox was glaring daggers into me, made me feel even more worse.

"Are you going to fuck off with Aiden every time you don't agree with me?" he sighed heavily, leaning against the bathroom wall. "I asked you something last night and you vanished on me, do you know how sick to my stomach I was when you didn't pick up your phone?"

Ugh... I felt like throwing up again.

Asked... that was a strange way of putting it, Maddox didn't ask me anything, he suggested, then started making plans, like I had already agreed to it, all because he's getting frustrated with being cooped up in the penthouse.

"I already t-told you how I felt about it Maddox... it's... it's too soon," I swallowed hard, as my hands started to sweat once his sigh fills the silence.

"I asked you to marry me, what's so soon about that? We love each other," he added, as I raised my head and looked at him.

I didn't want to talk about this again, although last night wasn't such a great night, it was a night where I was free from the spotlight I was currently under, ever since Maddox came out that he was dating and living with another man.

Maddox had announced online that he had a boyfriend and since then it has been nothing but hell for me, I couldn't go outside without being noticed by someone who knew or heard of Maddox, which was every single person on this planet, it seemed.

At first, people were happy for him... and then the threats came my way once they found out my name, my age, where I went to high school and where I worked, it was complete hell for me and whilst Maddox tried to make it stop, it only got worse.

I had to quit my job and with Maddox now supporting me, it made it more worse, I'm now just 'some guy' whose using Maddox Zane for money, along with someone who was ruining his life.

The threats and hounding had gotten better this past week,but I still couldn't live my life how I used to before I started dating Maddox, which was a big change and something I didn't think would be so hard.

"Theo, what's the real reason?" Maddox softly voiced, as he came to kneel in front of me, his eyes filled with hurt and longing.

The real reason... the reason...

"Alright then, don't marry me but don't sit there and tell me it's too hard."

I stared at him as he stood up, his hard and intimidating eyes on mine.

"You're afraid. And it's not because of the press or the strangers who don't know anything about us, I thought the threats had stopped, so what is so terrible about marrying me?" 

He sighed out heavily, before getting impatient from my lack of speaking.

"Theo..."

"I-I'm scared, alright?" I snapped out, feeling my face grow warm as I pulled myself up from the ground. "I don't want everything in our life to be published online, it's tough to be y-your boyfriend in public... but to be your husband? You don't understand how scary that is for me," I forced out, my throat going dry as I watched his face.

Maddox, whose face was stoic, suddenly smiled, leaving me confused as he took a step forward and wrapped his arms around me, his amazing body smell hitting my nose as his strong arms held me close to his chest.

"Theo... I'm scared too, fuck..." He chuckled out, before sighing. "I don't give a fuck about what anything thinks, and I wish you didn't, because right now you're letting people who don't fucking matter control how happy you should or shouldn't be."

He pulled back enough to kiss me on the forehead.

"Hah... I get it, I really do but sometimes you just need to say 'fuck you' to people Theo, you're too nice."

I knew what he was saying and I hated that I ran away when he popped the question, I was a coward and listening to Maddox now, speak the truth, I couldn't help but feel like I overreacted.

Marrying Maddox... I honestly didn't expect him to ask me this soon,or at all, things have been good, but marriage? 

Was I ready for something like that?

Was Maddox?

Maddox moved away and started the shower.

"Shower, and I'll cook you up some food."

"We'll talk about this later..."

"No," I swallowed hard and grabbed hold of his hand, stopping him from moving away. "Ask me," I said more confidently, looking into his eyes. "Ask me to marry you again."

Maddox stilled for a moment before he grabbed hold of my hand and dragged me out of the bathroom and into the living room, where he let go of my hand and disappeared down the hall, until he came back, moments later.

He stood in front of me and then got down on his knee, a black box in his hand being opened and displaying two gold engagement bands, one for me and one for Maddox.

They were identical bands and they were perfect, I loved them the moment I laid my eyes on them.

"It's just me and you Theo, nothing else even comes close to mattering, I want to be with you for the rest of my life and if you feel the same as I want..."

"Yes?" he repeated, a skeptical look on his face, despite smiling as I nodded my head.

"I.. I want to marry you too," I breathed out, as Maddox took the ring from the box. "S-So yes, I will marry y-you."

When Maddox started to slide the ring onto my finger, my hands had started to sweat as my heart pounded against my chest, feeling as though any second now it was going to leap out and knock me on my ass.

Once the ring was on my finger, I shakenly took the ring for Maddox out of the box as Maddox stood up in front of me, I reached out and held his hand as I slid the ring onto his finger.

They were both a perfect fit.

Maddox had really thought of everything and put so much effort into choosing the band, it wasn't anything flashy that stood out, it was just a simple gold band, nothing more, nothing less.

"You can't run away from me now Theo, you do know that right..?"

"J-Just shut up and kiss me," I laughed, as Maddox grinned and leaned forward, wrapping his arm around my waist and bringing me into his chest.

When Maddox's lips connected with mine, it was gentle, slow and passionate, he was always a great kisser but this kiss meant so much more to me now, it was our first kiss as an engaged gay couple.

We were engaged... 

I was engaged to Maddox Zane.

I was happy, so freaking happy but I was also extremely scared but as scared as I was for what was to come, I was going to face it with Maddox, even now he made me feel safe and protected, just like he always did and without that I'd surely have fallen apart by now.

We had both went through so much together, I had lost count of the times where I felt like I should just give up, let the world swallow me whole and give up but I never did and neither did Maddox, after everything he also went through.

Maddox was so strong that sometimes I forgot that he was also just as vulnerable as I was, he was also scared but he not once let it control him when it came to what he wanted.

I was incredibly thankful that I had Maddox in my life and that no matter what was going to happen next in our lives together, we would surely face it together and come out smiling in the end.

"Sorry," Maddox said between kisses, laughing huskily. "You really need a shower, you have glitter in your hair and it's fucking distracting."

I put my hand in my hair and blushed as I stepped away from Maddox, grinning sexily at me as I groaned out, turning around, my feet feeling as though they would collapse any moment from how lightheaded Maddox made me feel.

"I thought you liked it when I looked pretty," I shouted out, as I walked into the bathroom and started the shower again, as Maddox stayed in the kitchen to make some food.

I could hear his laugh as I stepped into shower, missing his touch already as I stood under the force of the water, relaxing my tense and tired muscles.

Despite how we got here, I was glad that Maddox never once gave up on me or left me alone and that he kept pushing me, if he didn't, I don't think I'd every feel the way I felt right now.

Tears filled my eyes as I washed my face, so fucking happy that all I could do was laugh at myself because ever since I first met Maddox Zane, it was like my life got flipped upside down but in the best way possible.

I was proud of myself, I didn't feel the need to change anymore, I was who I was always meant to be, I had come so far, and from a dark place, there was nothing I needed to run from anymore, I was right where I needed to be in my life.

If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't change a damn thing.

I was ready to take control of my life, and for whatever comes next, with Maddox, we'd face it together.

[crispyfryenperu]

Normal Midnight Chaos

It’s 12: 16 am. I am sitting in my dusty bed under my dusty mosquito net in my dusty town which I at once adore and is the bain of my existence. I am listening to my host mom softly snore from across the hallway (our bedrooms have windows to the inside of the house so you can always hear everyone). I am surfing youtube and happily settle on 1989 the album. Taylor’s Version was announced today to come out in October. I am excited, I can remember so clearly blaring every song with Julia and Antonia, we had just graduated high school and thought we were so cool.

This race in Newhall was awesome- it was so rainy and so many varsity girls fell down the hill. Everyone was covered in mud and soaked to the bone. Then they cut out the muddy/hilly part for the varsity boys race which was afterwards. (losers)

Today was a strange day, although not unusual. All in all a typical Peace Corps day. Unlike most midnights, I am enjoying my 25 gigabytes a month to listen to 1989 and type up a hopefully-quality-blogpost. I can’t sleep. Possibly because of the brownies I made today with Ryan. Usually sugar doesn’t affect my body but I guess I ate too many (just 5?) brownies. I’ll blame the “chocolate-flavored chips” that we use for their cheap price. Who knows what those are made of. Or maybe it’s because I drank one teaspoon of instant coffee today. Or maybe it’s because there are so many striking, beautiful moments in my days, and also so many startling, uncomfortable moments. In addition recently we had a tragedy over here in Peru.

First I’ll tell you about my day. I woke up took out my retainers and opened my door… there was my 5-month old teenage kitten meowing at me right away. Michicucho followed me as I drank some boiled water - there was no milk :/ and ate a piece of french bread with REAL BUTTER!! I made my bed (wow!) and got out some baking items. Ryan Reynolds (I recently turned in a report and didn’t realize I referred to my site partner as Ryan Reynolds in it. His last name in Lenhart.) Ryan Reynolds showed up at 9:45 am to bake some brownies - despite being in Calango almost a full year this is probably only the second time we hang out just the two of us outside of work. So we talked about Peru and Peace Corps and our expectations vs reality. We are both happy to be growing as people and learning new perspectives and ways of life. I hadn’t wanted a site mate but in the end I’m grateful that Ryan is here!

Now Peruvian ovens are tricky - they usually don’t reach as high temperatures so you need to bake your goods for a long time. Once they were finally done it was lunch time! After I ate 5 brownies and Ryan licked the bowl, he left with most of the brownies. My host mom came home with rice, mashed potatoes, and chicken soup from the comedor popular (like a soup kitchen). I made a lemonade - I can never get the lemon to sugar ratio perfect enough for my host brother! At this point I just try my best, there isn’t more I can do. And my host mom made me a fried egg to eat with the rice and potatoes. I’ve changed in a year because I did enjoy this lunch.

 Throughout the morning I was also checking in with my host mom and counterparts, because I had a meeting with the mayor at 12, but he was at a reservoir inauguration so i had to wait for him and my counterparts to return. After lunch (2 pm) I went to the municipality to wait for them. Finally I was able to present my community project at about 4 or 4:30 pm. Unfortunately, they are stressed, busy, and understaffed, so I was rushed through my presentation. My counterparts weren’t able to come because they had other work to do, in the room nextdoor, as well as because the timing was so impromptu. But the project was accepted. I mean, I’ll be applying to a Peace Corps grant, so who wouldn’t accept free outside money.  Then I tried to have a small meeting with my counterparts to assign some responsibilities in the project and agree on a timeline. But it’s pretty much iMPOSSIBLE to get even 3 of them in the same room for more than 7 minutes. Then I walked 30 seconds to one of my friends house’s to bs about work and life. We walked up towards a bakery by my house to drown my sorrows in some warm french bread. Then I came home, managed to open my front door with the key - We recently changed the lock and I haven’t been able to open it all week. I shared brownies with my host mom and brother, held my crazy cat, and watched my favorite tv show Al Fondo Hay Sitio. But in Al Fondo Hay Sitio there are some really idiotic characters, and today showcased characters who were racist or classist. So it was making me angry. Then I spoke with my creative and lovely friends Alex and Carmen on googlemeet (weird), and finally to my parents. Even though family can be so frustrating sometimes, FaceTiming my parents always brings me joy.

I put my laptop and myself under my thick blankets in case my typing is bothering my host mom. It’s now 12:41 am. Fortunately most people in Peru are very used to loud noise all over the place. So I’m probably fine. Actually the acceptable public loudness in Peru is one thing that I … hate. 

Everything I did today was pretty trivial, so why did I bother sharing it? Well, it just had so many moments of joy and hope. and so many moments of frustration, sadness, or anger. I think it all felt exaggerated in my mind due to the fake-chocolate-drugged brownies (am I old or allergic?)  Regardless, I finally felt today that my community project makes sense. All of the puzzle pieces came together. But there is also so little support for it. The people I am looking for don’t have a lot of time to give me. I can’t blame them for not wanting to do extra work which isn’t even in their job description. 

I was going to talk about TRAGEDY in this post but it’s already a post on it’s own! Looks like that’ll be coming up. Don’t worry, I’m perfectly okay. And so is everyone I love. 

12:57 am. Hopefully now I can sleep deeply.

[skruffie]

the first disaster monday for the rest of my career at the eye place was today :)

Most of the day was not actually a disaster, but what’s happening right now is a lot of “labor restructuring” in which stores that are not doing well are being encouraged to trim hours and transfer employees to stores that are understaffed. We recently just lost our full time clinical tech so our part-time tech is moving into her position, but because my boss wasn’t willing to cut my hours from 40 to 30 the next option was going after our other part timer. He was given the option to transfer to one of the other stores, therefore adding like a 2 hour commute each way for him or he could take a severance of 2 weeks’ pay. He opted for the severance.

Mondays we don’t have a doctor so typically it’s been me and one of the part time employees basically there to dispense glasses, ring up orders, etc. Since now we no longer have any part time employees, the option on Mondays are now I work alone or my boss works 6 days a week. Both are unfair. Right now, the plan is to see if our assistant manager has any flexibility with his kid’s daycare needs so we could work together Mondays but I told him not to try to force flexibility if there is none. The kid comes first.

For the majority of the day today it really wasn’t so bad, but naturally 30 minutes before close and right when my coworker is about to clock out for the last time we had like five people in the store come in all at once while I was busy working on a 2 pair glasses order for a patient and trying to get price quotes, and though we were sitting directly in front of our luxury wall, I knew that at least one of the folks behind us was taking frames. There might’ve been a 2nd person helping him but she also wanted to schedule an appointment (???) so she might’ve just been idly browsing. Three frames ended up missing. The patient I was helping was like “I’m delaying a bit because I really don’t want to leave you alone in here with him” (and the two other people that were now waiting).

However, because I knew this was going to be A Problem, I already had a plan. The second I clocked on I spent about 10 minutes making a 6 x 11 table and writing down every single model number on the luxury wall where each frame was located in it’s corresponding square. I know exactly which frames were taken. I couldn’t really get a description of the guy unfortunately because the dudes that came in had the exact same haircut and also I was busy working alone with a patient. This is going to be every Monday for me now from open to close.

I do love my job, but this is also the exact reason why I’ve been trying to take my time to see if I’m really passionate about it. I don’t want to invest a lot of hope and confidence into something that’s just going to burn me because I already put myself through that working at the state government job. Right now, they’re setting the stores up to fail so let’s let them fucking fail.