#dishwasher fucking betrayed us

[maliciouslove]

when the dishwasher breaks so you have to do dishes by hand at work for over 40minutes

[ashetherando]

“…I Love you…” FizzOzzie x Idol! Reader

Warning: death, angst, and blood

pronouns: They/Them/Theirs

3rd Pov

It was the last morning of your Tour before you can spend your December and half of January home with your lovers Fizzarolli, a jester that recently quite from Mammons crazy ass self, it’s completely understandable when you had your first show at the Mammon stage! And Asmodeus, the King of Lust and a very big rooster that everyone is aware of both Fizz and Ozzie’s relationship, but you never told anyone about your relationship or never told anyone about your personal life at all. You opened the door to the Kitchen to see them eating their breakfast, you grab a cup and start making yourself a cup of coffee “so, (Y/N) last day, am I right!” Fizz perks up with a smile “yup! Freedom for two and a half months!” You sat down across from them “so, what ring is this taken place?” Ozzie asked and took a big bite of his fried eggs “Greed. Greed, NotaScam too be exact” you take a swig of your coffee “ahhh, I heard a lot of bad things there. You better be careful” “don’t be, Fizzy-Frog. Guards will be there to take to and from, and you’ll be there, right, Fizzy?” “Yurp!” He finishes his plate and place in the dishwasher and left the room to get ready for the day. You sit down in the limo next to Fizz “do you have to bring the Queves?” You asked him as at least 15 of them sit on your lap and in between the two of you “yes, yes I do!” You scratch one of the nearest queve next to you behind its ears. As the car drive slowly turns Bluish-Purple to green, you send out a tweet on Wrathier saying how excited you are with this show. You drove passed the dome your concert is taken place, little people in the regular line and so much people in the VIP line “holy shit, (Y/N) that’s a lot of people to meet you” “yeah, holy fuck!” You start to feel uneasy, Fizz saw your expression change from happy to nervous and held your hand “don’t worry, babes. I’m here if anything happens!” He pecks you on the cheek and the limo parks in the back of the building, next to the exit, you open the door and left, then the family of Queves left and Fizz zooms across you and into the building. You found your dressing/warmup and gotten comfortable with it, your manager throws you around from helping the VIP merch table and warmup and so on and so forth. The VIP doors open and a wave of people comes it, people crowding the merch table and people getting into the front of the pit and since there’s so much people, you have to talk and take pictures with the barriers, so you won’t be grabbed, touched, or something bad happening to you. You sing a sneak peek of your next song as an acoustic and waved them goodbye as you left into your dressing room with Fizz as he held you close. Until Fizz got hungry “honey, I’m gonna pick up some food near the building, love you!” He pecks you and speeds off and you entered your room.

45 minutes later, you finished up warming up your voice and instrument warmups. The door knocked, Fizz is back! “I’m coming!” You opened the door, it wasn’t Fizz, it was someone with a grey hoodie with so many stains and pit sweat stains with the hood up along with really baggy pants, he had a bouquet of Chrysanthemums “hello, (y/n) (l/n), how is your boyfriends in the lust ring?” You were stunned and you panicked internally ‘how did he know? Did you get drunk and brag about it on your Instagram live? How the hell did he-!’ All the memories you shared with FizzOzzie, from the first Christmas and winter together, dates, and when you fall asleep together one time when you were sick and they both got sick, when you felt a puncture on your chest and sharp pain worse than any anxiety attack feeling, “DOES THAT HURT? I WAS HURT WORSE! You went and get knocked up but two sleeze-bags even though you’re an idol, You fan-betraying slut! You lured us in with your constant “I love you! I love you!” Crap! It was all lies!” blood fell spread from costume to the ground, you pushed away and held where the wound is at,all the members stood up and comes to your aid, while the crazy mysterious imp runs away “(y/n)! I’m back!” Fizz comes back with the food held high “the line was so long I was considering going back to lust for foo-!” He blinks when he saw you on the ground fighting for your life “(y/n)…(Y/N)!” He drops the bags and runs towards you and quick calls Ozzie “Ozzie! OZZIE! SOMETHING HAPPENED TO (Y/N)!” Tears fell “DO SOMETHING, RANDOM ASS BAND MEMBER!” “It’s Bob” “I DONT CARE!DO SOMETHING!” Fizz yells at him and Bob ran out “(y/n)! Please stay with me, it’ll be okay! Just stay with me!” He held you close to him as other members went separately to help in any way, from hunting down to that crazy fan, announcing to the fans that something happened and it is been cancelled and keep an eye on the stalker and apologize to the inconvenience and also calling the ambulance and police. It doesn’t take long when your heart beat slowly dying down and slowly getting heavier “fizz…” “sh!sh! Safe your strength, (y/n) don’t leave me! We have to spend this Christmas together! Please!” You held up your bloody hand and placed it on his cheek “I’m sorry. This is probably…it for me. You’re not hurt, are you fizz? I wonder…what you both be in the future be…As the two of you love each other when I’m gone… I want to be there to see it.” Tears start to swell up and Fizz shook his head in denial of you dying “no, no, (y/n)! Don’t say that!” “Ozzie…Fizz…I love you. Those words definitely weren’t a lie” you smiled when your heart stop and let your hand drop “(y/n)! (Y/n)! Wake up! Please!” He dropped his phone when Ozzie was on the phone. “Fizzy? (N/n)! Pick up, please!” “(Y/n)!” The paramedics came in and took you, leaving Fizz on the ground crying his eyes out and not picking up the phone while Ozzie is freaking out.

[lazaruspiss]

recently realized that dick had a relationships with all three of his rapists beyond one incident, like he lived with liu and eddie for a while, mirage posed as kori for an extended period of time and we really have no way of knowing how long he was with catalina, this creates a pattern of people that he knows betraying him and using him for their own gratification

which makes me think of his relationships with his family and friends rn, if one of them started crossing boundaries would he accept it? would he even have expected it? if babs didn’t hear him say wait one night would he know that it’s a mistake or would he think “ah, you too?”

like he loves his family and trusts them with his life but I don’t think he can trust them not to hurt him and that includes sexually, part of it is the constant paranoia that comes with being a vigilante for almost two decades and part of it is unprocessed trama but thinking anyone could start to abuse him probably isn’t good for his health or for his relationships lmao

oh for sure for sure!! im also fairly convinced dick would struggle seeing any of those incidents as rape. the liu incident doesn't meet the proper legal qualifications, he was at times blamed by his own team for what happened with mirage, and so much plays into the situation with catalina that im not sure he'd even be able to process it at all. the murder takes priority, and he'd see it more through a lense of him failing to save cat than him being assaulted.

dick wouldn't /want/ to have been assaulted, so i don't think he'd categorize any of that as rape. if others cross boundaries, he might justify/minimize it out of habit. less that he thinks anyone could/would abuse him, and more that he would never recognize harm done to him as abuse.

(some notes for those without context on some of the stuff being referred to!)

liu and eddie: there's a storyline in which dick runs away at 16 (or as he puts it, one month short of 17) and lives on his own. by which i mean, most likely homeless. he works as a dishwasher iirc. one day, his coworker recommends these people who take in teenaged runaways and offers them a place to stay. it's functionally a gang that uses cult recruitment tactics to manipulate teenagers into doing their bidding. the /they/ being liu and eddie. dick is just another kid, and doesnt realize what they're doing until he's already pretty deep in it. there's a fair amount of bonding and attachment, with liu and eddie showing him favoritism and singling him out in a way that makes them his primary support network. eventually this all leads to a sexual encounter between dick and liu. something worth noting: the age of consent in new jersey (where gotham is and where this story is set) is 16, and as it was a technically consensual encounter it is incredibly unlikely for it to be legally classified as rape/sexual assault.

mirage: ok imma be real u gotta ask someone else for this one. or maybe read the actual comics bc tumblr is a mess when looking for actually useful info.

catalina: ok!! ok... from my understanding there was originally going to be a full plotline about dick being in an abusive relationship with catalina, but it was rushed/cut short so that DC could put nightwing in a batman crossover event. classic. but dick had already been trying to mentor catalina for a decent while before she started abusing him. tried to /mentor/ her. her hurting him? to dick, it would likely feel like a reflection on him. that /he/ must have fucked up for her to end up doing something like that. it's left somewhat vague, but we don't have any reason to not believe cat continued to sexually abuse dick off page. we see her get him drunk and try to get him to sign marriage documents, she wants to /possess/ him. dick is incredibly dissociative throughout the aftermath, up until DC needed to force him out of his own story arc to hold daddy bat's hand. sorry lol

[delicategardenervoid]

Take My Hand It’ll be Alright

chapter 2

Jon sat on the couch, the mindless thrum of the television show played in the background. Seth laid across the couch, his head in Jon’s lap, and his feet in Roman’s.

Jon couldn’t deny how beautiful Seth was. He had a slight tan, his hair now longer than when he had seen him last. He had gotten bigger, his arms especially; Jon could tell he had been hitting the weights more. Jon couldn’t think Seth could be any more attractive than he already was. But then again, considering Roman, Jon would say that he has a thing for muscular guys. He supposed that both Seth and Roman thought the same thing about him when he bulked up.

‘More to grab.’ Seth had said to him once in passing while Jon cleaned his stomach off with a towel after fucking him into the bed.

Roman had told him to not worry about what happened. He said that Seth understood. Because Seth knew that he hadto understand. Because it wasn’t fair to any of them if he acted like he didn’t.

“You said you understood Uce.” Jon mumbled to him while the two of them were doing the dishes after the promised barbecue, Seth idly playing with Blue on the porch.

Roman nodded his head, scrubbing his plate clean in the sink before setting it in the dishwasher. “I do.”

Jon glanced over at him. “You have nightmares-” He paused, leaning closely into Roman. “about him?” His voice was a whisper.

Roman’s eyes flicked over to him before nodding once more. “I don’t have them as much any more.” He grabbed another plate and went back to scrubbing. “The fact that he’s there helps. But, also, the fact that he’s there doesn’t help.”

Jon shook his head. “Why do we do this to ourselves?”

Roman shrugged, a small smile forming on his face. “Hell if I know.” He looked back at Seth, Jon following suit. Seth was tugging on a rope that Blue had decided was his own, and by god he wasn’t gonna let anybody have that rope. “When you look at him, like this, it’s hard to believe half the shit he’s done to us.” Roman sighed. “It’s unbelievable how he can switch on a dime.”

Jon nodded in agreement. “Sweet Seth can quickly turn to Slimy Seth.”

Roman shot him a confused look. “Slimy Seth?” Amusement filling his voice.

Jon nodded, “yeah, ya know, the son of a bitch who hits you in the back with a chair, puts your head through cinder blocks, steals a championship from you on the biggest night of your career, and generally does asshole shit.”

Roman chuckled. “That is pretty slimy of him, now that you mention it.”

Jon wiped his hands off with a towel as he fully turned to see Seth, laying on his back, allowing Blue to attack him with a flurry of kisses to his face, a big grin evident under the barrage of licks. “He told me he trusted me.” Jon mumbled, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. “It’s not that easy, is it?” He turned to look at Roman, who silently nodded. “It’ll always be hard to trust him, no matter if me and him settled our shit.” Roman grunted in agreement. There was a pause, both men shifting back and forth on their feet as they sat back and watched Seth still playing around with the dog.

“I know you want to say something else, so go ahead and say it.” Roman raised an eyebrow, looking at Jon.

Jon turned towards Roman, sighing and running a hand over his face, pausing as he thought of the right words to say. “I-I know him betraying us affected you as much as it affected me.” He put a hand on Roman’s shoulder. “I know he’s apologized to you for not letting you two fight it out. But I just want you to know that I’m sorry too.”

Roman cocked his head to the side. “For what?”

“For not letting you work through it. For just throwing all of my grief in your face without ever taking into account your suffering.” Jon turned towards him, placing a hand on Roman’s head. “I love you.”

Roman smiled, placing his hand on Jon’s cheek, rubbing it gently with his thumb. “I love you too.”

Jon smirked, leaning in and giving Roman a small peck. “What was it you said? You’re mine, I’m yours?” He tapped Roman’s chin with his finger. “Did I get that right?”

Roman laughed and swatted his hand away. “Smart ass.”

Jon hummed, wrapping an arm around Roman’s neck. “What’s up with the sayings though?”

“They keep the both of us grounded. Ya know, when he does ‘slimy Seth’ shit, and I do…things he doesn’t agree with-it helps remind us that we belong to each other.” He kissed Jon. “No matter what.”

Jon kissed him back, a smile forming on his lips. “No matter what, huh?”

“No matter what.” Roman confirmed.

“Well you’re a much better man than me, Roman Reigns.” Jon deepened the kiss. “Because I would leave his ass on the side of the road to teach him a lesson if he ever did the shit he’s done to you in the past year to me.”

Roman laughed, pressing against Jon. “He has done this shit to you.” He nipped at Jon’s earlobe. “Or did you just suddenly forget about the whole year of 2015?”

Jon groaned, putting his forehead against Roman’s shoulder. “Ugh, don’t remind me.”

“You’ve done plenty of bad shit to him. And I’ve done some pretty bad shit to him.” Roman pet Jon’s head. “I guess we’re all awful to each other. So it evens out to a nice level playing field.”

Jon raised his eyebrows. “I heard you’re mean with him?”

Roman jutted out his bottom lip, nonchalantly waving his hand. “Not as hard as you. Only when he asks though.”

Jon shook his head, kissing him hard and bruising as he pressed his leg in between Roman’s thighs. “You think I could see you be mean to him? I wanna see how good he is for you.” Jon slowly moved his leg up and down Roman’s crotch. “Lord knows he’s never good for me, the bitch just whines and complains.” He scoffed.

“You like it.” Roman growled.

Jon huffed a laugh. “Fuck yeah I do.”

There was a loud gasp from behind them. “Woah wait! Are we kissing?” Seth called out, rushing to the two men from the porch, Blue angrily chasing after Seth who still had the rope in his hand.

Jon scoffed, rolling his eyes. “No, that would be gay.”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” Roman added, shooting Jon a look, the heated moment gone in favor of light ribs and goofy comments and smiles.

And that’s what got them here, laying on the couch peacefully content as Jon’s mind raced through the events of earlier in the evening.

As well as the nightmare that had him killing Seth. The nightmare where he held onto Seth’s throat until the life drained from his eyes and-

“Asshole!” Seth flicked his nose. “I was talking to you!” He griped.

Jon flinched and held his nose in pain, looking down at Seth in annoyance before growling. “What? What do you want?”

He gave Jon a big smile and pointed to the bowl of popcorn sitting on the table beside the couch. “I want some.”

If Jon’s eyes could’ve rolled all the way back in his head, he’s pretty sure they would’ve. “Oh fuck you!” Jon mumbled before scooping his hand into the bowl and holding out the popcorn for Seth to peck out of his hand. Seth smiled contently as he picked several pieces up and plopped them into his mouth, Jon’s hand now being stuck just below Seth’s chin while Seth used it as a makeshift bowl. Roman chuckled at the two and went back to watching whatever movie he had put on.

“I hope so.” Seth said, haphazardly popping more kernels in his mouth.

Roman snorted and patted Seth’s ass, “So you likin the movie Jon?” Seth looked up at him, expectant. Jon’s eyes shot from Seth’s to Roman’s who was staring at him with an amused expression, a grin plastered on his face.

“Well…I…” Jon stumbled.

“Because Seth was the one who recommended it.” Roman continued, smiling at Jon’s flustered expression. His eyes were wide and his face was red as he tried to find any way of getting out of answering the question Roman had decided to torture him with.

Seth stared up at Jon, still munching away on popcorn. “I like it.” He quickly stated before turning his gaze to the television to try and catch what little context he could before another round of questions came.

“Yeah?” Seth replied, his mouth full. “What’s your favorite part?” Jon stumbled, mindlessly waving his hand in front of the tv while trying to mumble his way through an explanation. Suddenly, Roman and Seth burst out laughing, some popcorn flying out of Seth’s mouth and onto the floor. “It’s okay babe, we were fucking with you.” Seth sighed, grabbing Jon’s hand that held the long eaten popcorn and cuddling it close to him.

Jon growled, “you guys suck.” under his breath before settling back into the quiet, the only sound being those of the actors on the television.

Jon was happy.

The feeling of Seth’s weight in his lap reminded him of simpler times, when they spent every waking moment together. Looking back, he can see why Renee could tell they were together. Maybe women just have a secret sense for sniffing out relationships that men are none the wiser to.

As his hand gently ran through Seth’s hair, playing with it, he gave a tug that was a little too hard. Seth hissed and pulled back a bit, but didn’t look up at Jon to pout like he normally would’ve. “I’m sorry!” He quickly said, rubbing his scalp tenderly to make up for the pain. Seth just settled back down, hiding his face a bit in Jon’s thigh. He shrugged it off and went back to playing with his dark locks, twisting them around his finger and gently brushing them. Jon felt Seth start to squirm in his lap, his face digging deeper into Jon’s thigh. “You good?” He asked quietly, petting Seth’s head.

“Y-yeah.” Seth replied, his voice shaky.

Jon nodded before going back to watching the movie, which he had to admit, was pretty interesting. Seth’s nails dug into Jon’s wrist that he had a death grip on, and it made Jon hiss at the sudden rush of pain. “Okay, dude, are you sure you’re okay?” Jon asked, irritated, his face a mixture of irritation and concern. Seth moaned and it made Jon freeze. He looked over to Roman, who was slowly stroking Seth through his shorts, and who was still watching the movie like he wasn’t jerking their baby brother off. “Oh.” Jon breathed. He felt Seth shake as Roman sped his hand up. “Roman?” His voice was deeper than he intended it to be. Roman raised his head, showing Jon he was listening. “You wanna turn up the volume? It’s getting kinda hard to hear with this bitch moaning in my lap.” Jon wrapped a hand around Seth’s hair, threatening to pull it.

Roman nodded, “Yeah, no problem man.” He replied, reaching for the remote and clicking the volume up.

“Thanks.” Jon flashed him a small smile. Roman gave him one back, his hand on Seth’s dick never wavering. He went back to watching the movie, Tom Cruise doing something or another on top of a plane. Jon couldn’t focus anymore, he was too busy focusing on the man writhing and moaning in his lap. “Hey, can you keep it down? You’re making it hard to watch the movie.” He whispered at Seth, fake anger in his voice.

Seth nodded quickly, taking a deep breath and moving his head from Jon’s thigh. “Sorry.” He mumbled, placing Jon’s hand to his lips before biting it in surprise as Roman twisted his hand at Seth’s tip. It didn’t hurt, at least, not enough to elicit a reaction. But he pulled Seth’s hair anyway, as a warning. Seth settled down once more and fully turned so he was looking up at Jon. It took everything in him not to stare down at the man and give him every bit of attention he wanted, and was so blankly asking for. But Jon held strong. He stared straight ahead and kept playing with Seth’s hair as best he could with the new angle of the man’s head.

“Jon-“ Seth started, getting cut off by a moan. “Jon…” he whispered, reaching a hand up and tapping his chest.

Jon looked down at Seth. “Hmm?”

Seth’s eyes were half lidded, glossy, and his pupils were blown. His lips were parted and he slowly licked them. And he was looking at Jon like he was his savior. “I-I need-“

Jon shook his head, feigning confusion. “What?” He gripped Seth’s wrist, running his finger over his Iowa tattoo. “What do you need?”

Seth’s back arched a bit and closed his eyes before quickly opening them again. “I need you to-to kiss me.” He whispered, like he was trying to keep it a secret from Roman.

Jon leaned in close to Seth, hovering his ear over Seth’s mouth. “You what?” He whispered back.

Seth gave a quiet moan, no doubt trying to save Jon’s eardrum. “Please-kiss me.” Seth pleaded, a small whine in his voice.

Jon pulled away. “Oh! You said kiss you!” Seth whined as Jon raised his voice loud enough for Roman to hear, which made the bigger man snarl. Jon turned to Roman. “I don’t know Ro, he wants me to kiss him, should I?”

Roman’s lips quirked up and he looked at Jon, his own pupils blown as he started twisting his hand at Seth’s tip with every stroke. “You think he’s been good enough?” Roman asked.

Jon’s eyes once again went to meet Seth’s, who was writhing on the couch, his fist flexing in Jon’s grip while the other squeezed Jon’s own wrist tighter. “Please.” Seth whispered, giving Jon big doe eyes.

“If I kiss you, are you gonna cum?” Jon hummed. Seth froze for a moment, thinking through his answer. “Uh uh, you gonna cum if I kiss you?” He repeated.

Seth bit his lip. “Can I cum?”

Jon laughed. “Yeah, he’s been a good boy.” He spoke to Roman who gave a small chuckle back. Seth had started to tremble as his release grew closer and closer. “I wanna watch for a second, then I’ll kiss you.” He promised. Seth nodded and lifted his head to watch Roman with Jon. The latter of the two was still watching the movie.

Jon was surprised that Roman legitimately laughed at a joke that was told. “Yo, Seth, good job at picking a movie man!” Roman laughed, his other hand squeezing Seth’s thigh. Seth moaned loudly when he did so. Roman paused for a moment and looked over at the two of them. “Are you enjoying the movie?” He asked Jon, who smirked and shrugged.

“Eh, it’s alright.” His voice nonchalant as he studied Roman’s face, which was a slight shade of red from arousal. “I can tell you’re enjoying it.”

Roman chuckled and squeezed Seth’s thigh once more, which was shaking uncontrollably as he fought back an orgasm. “I really am.” Roman looked at Seth, who was watching Roman stroke him intently, his breathing quickening along with Roman’s wrist which was going at an almost superhuman pace. The sound of Roman stroking Seth filled the room, the movie’s volume having lowered enough for all three men to hear it. “Shit man, he’s fucking dripping.” Roman mumbled, watching the precum stain Seth’s shorts.

Jon growled before quickly gripping Seth’s chin and forcing a kiss on the man. Seth froze for a moment before arching his back and letting out little moans in quick succession of each other as he humped Roman’s hands through his orgasm. “Good boy.” Jon said against his lips, kissing him softly now. When Seth finally collapsed, Roman brought his hand to Jon who then pulled away and placed it in Seth’s mouth who licked it up eagerly. Jon sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. “I forget he does that.” He mumbled, staring at Seth with fire in his eyes.

Seth sighed, contently melting into the couch, a large smile on his face. “I needed that.” He hummed.

Jon laughed, loudly, and lightly slapped Seth’s chest. “You’re such a dick.”

Roman snorted and rolled his eyes. “Imagine having to put up with it everyday.”

“God that would be a nightmare!” Seth huffed, swatting Jon’s chest and kicking Roman’s thigh before crossing his arms.

“You all are assholes.” Seth grumbled, swinging his legs over the couch and standing up quickly. “I’m gonna change my shorts.” When there was no reply from the two men, who had gone back to the movie. “Meaning I will be naked.” He clarified. “All alone.”

Jon and Roman shot each other a look before simultaneously leaning over the back of the couch to stare at Seth. “We doin’ this?” Jon asked, his eyes shifting between Seth and Roman, his eyebrows raised.

“Roman?” Seth asked, holding his hand out in anticipation of his answer.

Roman nodded furiously, standing up and looking at Jon, eagerly waiting for his response. “Of course I’m in, I’m not fucking crazy.” Jon scoffed before jumping over the back of the couch and stalking behind Seth, who had a gigantic grin on his face.

“It’s been too damn long.” Roman said to Jon as they entered the bedroom.

Jon nodded, smirking. “It really has.”

[avtracker]

friday, march 29, 2024

woke up at 9:30 am

shower at 9:45

i have work at 12, so im leaving around 11

10:08 in starting to get dressed and i’m thinking about what i want to do with my life, what i wanna create. i have a couple ideas (and one is in progress!) but all i know for sure is i feel like im born to be some kind of entertainer, in one way or another. thinking about the people i look (or looked) up to and recognizing that they’re like digital renaissance men; music, comedy, sketches, even podcasts or talk shows. i feel like i have a lot to say, but idk how to start or what to start with, which sounds weird to say but it’s how i feel. i should probably finish getting dressed now, i have work today.

i skipped class once again—it started at 10:10, lol. just no energy with the whole “school thing” ig. c’est la vie

(i just don’t like traditional school or traditional jobs; i wanna do something new and exciting and unique. i want to MAKE something of myself)

10:32 i just cleaned the kitchen and took out the trash. turns out the dish soap dispenser got knocked over and spilled all over the counter so i cleaned that. currently running the dishwasher and the dryer, too. there’s still some dishes in/next to the sink, so i hope my dad isn’t too upset. it’s just a couple cutting boards and knives (from all the cheese i’ve been eating) and a pan i haven’t washed yet lol

5:47p just got on discord with em, summarizing work rn: i felt very faint and almost passed out many times, due to not eating and only consuming a monster in the morning. but i had a lemon loaf and then got Cookout with my tip money otw home. chicken strips there are D-tier on god. i listened to Ride’s new album 2x already, going for listen #3 while we play civ v lol. it’s awesome

8:25p played some civ v with em and liam. i’m actually kinda sweating (from fear). liam’s trad/lib strat is going surprisingly well and im afraid he’ll nuke me lol. i think em has been playing strong too, overall im p worried. i did war liam briefly (didn’t kill anything) bc he converted Wittenberg to taoism (the fuck 😡 /j), so i hope he doesn’t harbor any resentment in this game. victory isn’t quite as close as id have hoped and there’s a lot of opposition (em and liam are genuinely good and capable players). i feel way better now that ive eaten; i have to remember to make breakfast tomorrow morning!!!

i have work tomorrow morning (9am). i’m gonna try to go to bed at a reasonable time (10p).

overall today has felt kinda good, apart from almost blacking out a bunch due to no food (lol). i didn’t feel very much sadness, just stress/dread about classes that i’m avoiding (which ik makes things worse but i can’t help it 😭). i’ll see my dad after work tomorrow so that’ll be refreshing; it’s been 2.5 weeks since he went abroad. having good food will be nice too, since he cooks at lot and i don’t cook well (cooking is stressful! i do like baking tho :D) i think i’m gonna try to track what i eat, too, in the new month

tomorrow i’m probably gonna play some terraria after spending time with my dad and then i want to work on some projects: my semi-secret infomercial-based project and maybe some music. i wanna finish the demo for this song about justin, and im gonna go visit my friend sam this summer and hopefully record a split with him and he’s gonna help me with the instrumentals for this song. i’ve been thinking about justin a lot,,, i miss him, or at least who he used to be. it sucks having a friend that totally betrays you and everything you are, yk? oh well, ig. cest la vie lol

i’d also like to do some reading this year. i wanna read Scythe (Neil Shusterman), Interesting Facts About Space (Emily Austin) i’ve been really wanting to read, as well as the classic Fallout: Equestria (Kkat)

- 8:40pm

[sgtjbbhasmyheart]

Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter Three

Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1740

Warnings: Nosy (and well-meaning) friends acting like nosy siblings, angst, bad language words

A/N: After I originally posted this chapter on AO3, I got some comments that exacerbated the beginnings of a year long depression. Please be kind. I intended this chapter to come across as the gang being like siblings...always being in each other’s business. Is there a breach of privacy? Yes, but without the ill-intent. 

DO NOT copy or replicate without permission

Bucky clutched his phone in his flesh hand as he made his way down a long hallway to the communal kitchen and eating area. A soft, crooked smile rested at his lips as he entered the space. Natasha and Sam were sitting at opposite ends of the rectangular table separating the kitchen from the lounge, enjoying a late breakfast. Steve was at a kitchen counter fiddling with the Keurig machine. He pulled another mug from the cupboard when he saw Bucky approach. “Mornin’, Buck. Sleep well?”

Bucky’s grin broadened as he leaned his backside against the countertop. “I did, actually. Thanks for asking,” he answered, looking to his phone at the incoming text.

(Y/N) Would you rather have skin that changes color based on your emotions or tattoos appear all over your body, depicting what you did the day before?

He missed the way Sam and Nat looked at each other in suspicion at his answer to Steve. He was too busy pressing the keys on his touch-screen.

Bucky The tattoos would be awkward, speaking from a male’s perspective, so I think color changing would be better. Not by much, though.

Bucky Would you rather have edible spaghetti hair that regrows every night or sweat maple syrup?

Bucky saw Steve slide the new mug, now filled with coffee, across the granite-top toward him from the corner of his eye. He glanced up quickly from the screen and nodded. “Thanks, buddy.” Steve answered with a smile.

“What, no grunted thanks or mumbled acknowledgment?” Natasha quipped, standing from her seat to place her plate in the dishwasher.

“Yeah, man. You have been using way too many words lately. I miss the grumpy dude that would brood in the corner,” Sam added, crossing his arms at his chest. “Are we even sure this is the right Bucky?”

Bucky’s phone vibrated again.

(Y/N) I love me some spaghetti! Can you imagine sweating sticky, gooey maple syrup during a humid New York summer?? Your clothes would be toast.

(Y/N) Mmmm, french toast.

Bucky chuckled at the reply, drawing the attention of three sets of eyes.

Sam wasn’t wrong; he wasn’t the same Bucky.

It had been five days since (Y/N)’s first drunken texts. Five days. He couldn’t believe so little time had passed. Somehow, (Y/N) had wiggled her way under his skin.

He had noticed after only a day or two; he was smiling more, less volatile. He felt lighter, happier. He wasn’t skulking about the compound like usual, trying to avoid the rest of the team. Some might go as far as to say he was friendlier than usual.

It felt good to have someone, a friend, learning about the real James Buchanan Barnes, for once, without the threat of The Soldier clouding their perception of him.

“You’re freaking me out, man. Straight outta Invasion of the Body Snatchers or some shit,” Sam declared, rising from his chair.

“Hold on, Sam,” Steve placated, lifting a hand to the advancing man. “I’m sure there’s a logical explanation to Bucky’s good mood lately.”

Bucky set his jaw in frustration, the muscles ticking. He wasn’t a Pod Person. He was just happy, for the first time in seventy-five years.

His phone went off again.

(Y/N) Would you rather sneeze once every hour, on the hour, or burp every time you saw an attractive girl?

A wide smile split his mouth as he scanned the screen.

Bucky Am I sneezing in my sleep or just when I’m awake?

When Bucky brought his gaze back up to his teammates, he noticed Natasha’s own eyes flick down to his phone. The slightest smirk curved the corner of her lips.

“It’s curious,” she said, a perfect eyebrow inched higher to her hairline. “All the people you text are in this room, yet, you haven’t been able to pull yourself away from your phone.” Her eye contact never wavered from Bucky’s face. “Don’t ya think that’s odd, fellas?”

“Natalia,” Bucky warned, his voice gruff. He knew she was fishing.

Sam laughed boisterously. “Yeah, I noticed that the other day. It’s glued to your hip nowadays.”

“It could be anyone from the team, guys,” Steve reasoned. “I bet it’s Tony.”

Bucky became increasingly agitated as the redhead slinked closer, passing his phone back and forth between his hands.

Natasha shook her head in the negative. “Nuh-uh,” she said, leaning against the counter directly beside Bucky. A hair’s breadth of space separated their shoulders from one another. Tipping back, with her elbows propped against the hard surface, she kicked her legs out casually and crossed her feet at the ankle. “Those two have barely said two words to each other since the good Sergeant here was welcomed back into the fold. It’s not Tony.”

“That still doesn’t prove anything,” Steve replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“I bet it’s a girl,” Sam said in a sing-song voice. “But, where would Ice Man here meet a girl?”

Natasha smiled while looking at Sam as he stepped closer to the trio. “Let’s find out, shall we?” She nodded to Sam and, without batting an eye, lunged at Bucky.

She tapped the underside of the hand holding the phone, causing the device to flip up into the air.

Though he hadn’t seen the attack coming, Bucky’s reflexes were cat-like, and he easily caught the phone in his opposite hand.

Unfortunately, Natasha was just as quick and knocked the phone from his hand again. She effortlessly swatted it out of the air and into her hand. As Bucky clamored to retrieve the cell phone, she swung her arm behind her back and tossed it into the waiting hands of Sam.

By looking at Sam’s broad smile, Bucky knew he was having a field day at his expense. He pounced on his teammate, grappling for possession of the device. He wasn’t sorry for elbowing the other man harder than he ever would if they were sparring each other. He needed his fucking phone back!

Sam managed to flick the phone over his other shoulder in the process of Bucky grabbing ahold of Sam’s wrist and twisting the same arm behind his body. It clattered to the ground at Steve’s feet.

As everyone stared at the cell phone lying prone on the tile floor, Sam backed Bucky into the cabinets, trapping him with his body. “Let me go, Bird Brain!” Bucky huffed.

Steve bent to pick the phone up, holding it in his hand. Bucky could see the war playing within Steve’s blue eyes as he struggled against Sam. Steve was just as curious as the other two but didn’t want to betray his friend.

Natasha quickly snatched the device from Steve and started thumbing at the screen.

“Maybe we shouldn’t,” Steve protested.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you to put a passcode on your phone, Barnes?” Natasha tsked as she navigated to the messaging app.

Bucky knew the exact second she found what she was looking for because her eyes became comically wide. A feral, shit-eating grin crossed her mouth as she raised a brow again.

“Tell me about (Y/N).”

“What?” Steve questioned, crowding the red head. “Lemme see.”

Bucky felt his cheeks go aflame as Natasha angled the screen so Steve could see the message thread. They burned hotter as Steve looked up with his own shit-eating smirk.

“Well, well…” Sam piped up. “If your faces are anything to go by, Vanilla Ice’s still got game.” Bucky twisted his arm back further in retaliation causing Sam to grunt in discomfort.

Bucky watched as Natasha’s thumb skimmed along the screen to delve deeper into past messages. Her thumb stopped as she read a passage; her green eyes rapidly followed the lines of text.

“I always kinda figured you’d be into someone that would call you out on your BS. She sounds fun,” Natasha said as she continued to scroll.

“No one’s into anyone. We’re just friends,” Bucky murmured.

Steve’s head shot up to stare at his best friend, sorrow painting his features. He edged away from Natasha. “Does she know who you are?” he asked.

Bucky shook his head no. “And she never will.”

“Aww, but you guys sound so cute together,” Natasha pouted. Bucky frowned at the insinuation. It couldn’t ever happen.

“There aren’t any rules saying we can’t date,” Natasha mentioned. “Hell, you know how many times I tried to set up this big lug?” She motioned to Steve with her thumb.

“That’s different,” Bucky said after a few moments. He eased up slightly on Sam’s arm.

“How so?”

Bucky rubbed a hand across the back of his neck, the blush starting again. “He’s Captain America, and well, I’m not. Not exactly everyone’s favorite.” He downcast his eyes to the floor.

“Buck, you know that’s not true,” Steve said woefully. “It’ll just take some time.”

“I know, Stevie. Until then, though, I’m still a pariah.”

The super soldier serum couldn’t have been given to a better person, but Bucky always felt like he would be trapped in Steve’s shadow, no matter the amount of good he did. He would still feel weak for what Hydra did to him, or not good enough to be labeled Captain America’s best friend.

Feeling the room take a considerable turn toward somber, Natasha called out, “Holy shit, Barnes! You used Wilson’s toothbrush to clean your toilet?”

“What?!” all three male voices cried out.

Sam rushed forward, trying to see the proof for himself. “You’re a dead man!”

Freed from the weight of Sam’s body, Bucky leaped forward toward Natasha and Sam. Slamming into Sam’s back, he snaked an arm around the other man, reaching frantically for his phone. He was done with them spying on his non-existent personal life.

Bucky smacked against Sam’s hands and arms, trying to dislodge the device.

“Stop!” Sam bellowed. “You’re hitting me like an eleven-year-old girl!”

“Gimme back my phone!” Bucky shouted.

Suddenly, the sound of ringing filled the small space of the kitchen. The scuffling stopped in an instant as everyone tried to figure out where the noise was coming from. Sam glimpsed down at his hands and jumped apart from Bucky as if he’d been burned. He looked horrified!

“Oh, shit!” Sam exclaimed, shoving the phone back at Bucky.

“What did you do?!” Bucky screeched when he realized the ringing was coming from his phone on speaker.

The sound ended abruptly, only to be replaced with the gentle tinkle of a woman’s voice.

“James?”

Chapter Two | Chapter Four

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[bourbon-ontherocks]

(Previously, on Season 4 (re)watch....)

This is the penultimate rewatch post that I’ll ever make of this show. Can you feel the smurfing nostagia poking already?

I do not care at all about Vance's life, and people do whatever they want, but last ep Vance said that his wife was on IVF stuff and now it’s never mentioned again, and they have an 11-or-something year old? Like, I know that these are technically not incompatible projects, but it feels like the writers didn't even re-read themselves from one ep to another. UNLESS it's supposed to imply that Vance lied to Dean about the IVF to justify his wife bullying him, in which case I take it back, this is an hilarious writing choice.

Wait, Vance has a corporate job ? In addition to teaching boyscouts, selling moisturizer, biking and having MRA meetings?? Is there anything that this guy does NOT do?

Hold on. Dean and Stan have known each other for 30 years??? While it's only been 26 for Beth and Ruby since the show established that season 1 to 3 happened in the span of a year?? So what, I'm supposed to understand that Ruby met Stan through Dean once he started dating Beth? This is getting ridiculous.

Funny that Beth hates red while it's literally the only colour Rio fucked her in tbh

Honestly this season is about the evolution of Dave, from rather boring in-the-closet boss to straw-slurping quirky and broke ambulant disaster. I'd watch a show based off his character, really.

Can relate with Stan, no-one wants to have dinner with the Bolands, they're terrible!

Very disappointed that when Kevin explains how to manipulate people into dating you to Annie she jumps to doing the same with Nick's assistant instead of realizing that Kevin’s been doing it to her.

Am I the only one who'd run after a stranger I’m having a date with if they suddenly left with my jacket on??????

OMG Nick has a paper clips magnet shaped as a giant fly?? I TOLD YOU he's got an insect fetish lol

Honestly this Vance-knows-everything-and-pops-in-the-backseat twist is a wasted opportunity for the show to have Beth murder him and finally achieve her season 2 goal.

That being said, the fact that Vance repeatedly tries to get out and struggles with the children safety means that RIO DID TOO and the fact that this scene exists somewhere in implied canon fills me with joy

"EVERYONE IN LAW ENFORCEMENT'S GAY" this is so meta I just ajfioejofehioh

Ooooooh. Right. I'm 35 minutes into the episode, and I just remembered that Rio's in the show. Yes it's his first scene.

I'm so sad that the girls' plan will probably cost nice-gay-assistant his job though. Poor boy didn't ask for so much, although it IS stupid to let a stranger take off with your jacket on

Wait wait wait, how did Nick figure it was Annie on the picture? I thought Rio just laughed at him but didn't reveal who it was, right? I could definitely see him doing that just to rub it in Nick’s face though, but that would be so fucking stupid and dangerous for Beth it just makes no sense.

I just LOVE that Beth downgraded from “Elizabeth” to “Beth” in Nick's mouth ever since he found out she betrayed him. It's like the antithesis of Rio's way of calling her and adore that

The way the emotional music abruptly stops when Dean pulls Stan into a hug out of nowhere is genuinely comedic

Why does it seem like Beth always has a mountain of dirty dishes in the sink? With four kids, they never thought it could be useful to buy a dishwasher?

HE KNOCKED. I'm sorry but this is coming straight out from a fanfiction

Also Rio asking for an apology because Beth fooled around with Nick while NOBODY EVER DISCUSSED THE SHOOTING is just. Ugh. So frustrating.

HE'S IN OUR WAY. As opposed to WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT. I'll leave you on that, mhhkay?

Bonus: is that an NBC Smurf jacket????? Definitely the one Annie stole though...

Bonus2 : I’m never gonna make it, am I????

[ladycatofwinterfell]

Dealing with the consequences, part 1

Here it is, the long awaited sequel to “Consequences”. It’s been a while since I was last this excited to post something and I hope you share this feeling. I usually write happy married nedlyn, so just digging into the more complicated and messy relationship that is nedlyn in this little modern AU I created last year is quite fun. And if you were with me when I was writing “Consequences” you might remember that I posted a chapter every other day, it WON’T be like that this time

Summary: One day, six months after they move into their new house, Ned and Cat wake up to an unfortunate surprise. This small and seemingly insignificant event sets things into motion, and they try their best to repair what they can despite that they have messed up before. Because maybe, just maybe, they can do things a little bit better that time around. And you know what they say, third time’s the charm.

The baby had made her an incredibly light sleeper. So she was fully awake in a second when it knocked on her door. She looked at Sansa’s crib to make sure of that she was still sleeping. Waking her before she woke on her own was just a very bad idea. She had also already been awake once that night. So Catelyn wasn’t too happy about being woken for a reason that wasn’t to feed her daughter. Whatever it was that Ned had on his mind. She knew that it was Ned, Robb wouldn’t have knocked and Jon always avoided her as best as he could on the weeks when he was with them.

She wrapped a robe around herself and tiptoed through the room. Ned definitely had something on his mind. And he didn’t look happy about it.

“Who died?” she whispered.

He did not appreciate the joke. Had someone actually died?

“The dishwasher is broken” he said. “And there is a lot water in our kitchen.”

“Seven fucking hells.”

She wished so badly that it would have been a lie. Damnit. She had to close her eyes for a moment, take three calming breaths. And then she walked down the stairs, crossed the living room and found that Ned had not been lying. It had been very much true. There was water. A lot of it. On their floor.

She heard him come up behind her. She didn’t really know what to do. What could she do? There was so much water. What were they supposed to do with all the water?

“What time is it?” she asked, because that was all she could come up with.

“Around half past three, I think” Ned replied.

Half past three in the morning. What could they do? What the hell could they do when it was the middle of the night?

“We’ll have to do this ourselves, then” she sighed. “We need to turn off the water.”

“I already did that.”

“Of course you did. Now what?”

“We need to get the water away.”

“And how do we do that?”

She had never dealt with a flooded kitchen before. She had never dealt with any kind of flooded room before. And from the look of despair on Ned’s face she guessed he hadn’t either.

Right then Sansa seemed to have woken only to notice that she was alone. And she was screaming bloody murder.

“I’ll go get her.”

She half ran back up to her room, had some small hope of that if she was quick enough maybe there was a chance of that Robb and Jon would sleep through it. They wouldn’t be of any help, it was better if they slept until their alarms rang. But of course they didn’t.

She had just picked Sansa up and was bouncing the baby in her arms when Robb poked his sleepy little head into her room.

“Has something happened?” he asked, quite loudly so that she would be able to hear him over the screaming baby.

“No” she told him. “Everything is as it should be. Go back to bed.”

She could take that with him later. When things were a bit calmer.

“Are you hungry? Is that the problem?” she mumbled to Sansa. “Robb, please, go to bed.”

He muttered something and went back to the room that he shared with Jon. They got along quite well. Well enough to share a room, at least. Jon was still a bit shy around Robb though. Ned said that it would pass, but she was unsure. He was probably confused about the weird situation, the poor child. And that she was around didn’t make anything better for him.

She walked downstairs again once Sansa was done. Tried to hold onto what remained of her sanity. It wasn’t much. She couldn’t do much either. She didn’t know what to do. It was in moments like those she wondered how anyone managed to be an adult because it was very hard.

“Just why?”

Ned sounded very miserable. And Catelyn couldn’t even be some sort of moral support because she was just as miserable.

“I bet it’s because I’m living with a divorced man” she said. “This is the gods’ punishment. That is what my father would say.”

“Can your father tell the gods that we are parents and nothing more?” Ned muttered.

Her father did absolutely not believe that they only lived together to take care of the kids. In truth, it seemed like no one believed it. Especially Edmure. He wouldn’t shut up about it. But it was true. They had lived together for almost six months, and they had done very well. They had made it work. It had been a bit strained in the beginning, but as time passed it had gotten better and better. And there had been no relapses. Not even a kiss. She was proud of herself. If they had managed to see each other every day for so long without acting on a single little thought they could probably manage it all the way through. It would be empty though, when the kids were older and they could part again.

”Could you get some towels from upstairs?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you, darling.”

She stopped and turned to look at him. He looked back at her, didn’t seem to realize what he had just said.

“Darling?” she asked, chuckling.

He sighed very deeply and ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m very tired, I’m sorry.”

“No need to be.”

She really didn’t mind. He could keep on slipping, she would enjoy every word. As long as it didn’t go further than that they were fine. Hopefully. She didn’t love Ned. She didn’t. She couldn’t after what had happened. But would that completely erase everything that had been before? No, it wouldn’t.

~*~

The floor was very water damaged. Gods, they had been living in that house for six months and they already had to deal with water damage in the kitchen. They would have to tear out the floor to check for further damage and replace it. And they needed a new dishwasher.

They had dried up as well as they could and carried out the table, the chairs and the carpet to the living room so that there wouldn’t be any mold. Once the time was reasonable they would have to call someone that could do the work needed in the kitchen.

But still all Ned could think of was the way she had smiled when he had accidentally called her darling. He really hadn’t meant it, it had been an honest mistake. They weren’t together, they definitely couldn’t call each other that. And still she had smiled. Damn her.

“So what are we gonna do while we can’t use the kitchen?”

Catelyn laid flat on her back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. Her hair was like a fiery cloud around her head. None of them had been eager to go back to bed after that so they had just sat in the living room. There was still more than two hours until they had to get the boys up and get them ready for school. And he had to go to work. Catelyn was on maternity leave, but they would switch in two months so that she could go back to work.

“I’ll talk to Ashara, see if she can take Jon even though it’s not her week” he said. “I think being able to properly feed a kid is bare minimum and we currently can’t check that box.”

Ashara probably wouldn’t object to that. She wasn’t too happy about that Jon lived in the same house as Catelyn every other week. She was pretty pissed about it, actually. Understandably. Rightfully. Not that she really liked that Jon was with him every other week either, but that she had to agree to.

“If I ask I think Edmure could have Robb with him until we have it fixed. And if he can’t, my parents probably can. It shouldn’t take too long, should it?”

“I guess that depends on if the floor is the only damaged part.”

Catelyn closed her eyes and sighed.

“It better be. It better fucking be.”

A tired smile appeared on her lips when she opened her eyes again. Both Robb and Sansa had her eyes. A wonderful blue shade that wasn’t like anything else.

“I guess it will be just you, me and the little lady upstairs for a while then” she said as she rolled to her side so that she could look at him where he sat in his armchair.

And what exactly did she mean by that? It was a true, and maybe that was all she meant. But she could also mean something wildly different. Or maybe he was just overthinking it. That was most likely it. There was nothing.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked, still smiling.

How breathtakingly beautiful you are, was what he wanted to say at first. That was not what he said. Because saying that was a bad idea. They lived together for the sake of the kids. Nothing else. But he could acknowledge that she was pretty, he wasn’t blind.

He had not forgotten what she had done. No, it still stung whenever he thought of it. And that was almost every time he looked at Robb. But a part of his mind was betraying him. And that part did backflips whenever she smiled at him. Did she feel the same? Was there some part of her mind that did the same? He couldn’t help but wonder. Wondering would do no harm to anyone.

“Nothing” was what he said in the end.

“Liar” she chuckled. “I know you, I could tell it wasn’t nothing.”

“Nothing of importance” Ned tried and he couldn’t keep himself from smiling.

Though it was important. Very important. But he couldn’t let her know what it was.

“Oh it looked to be incredibly important. And don’t tell me it was about the kitchen, I know it was not!”

“Terribly nosy today, are we?” he asked and rolled his eyes.

“Every time you leave like that I want to get into your head and see what you’re thinking of. But I can’t so you need to tell me.”

Ashara had said the same half a million times. 

“Do I now?”

“It would make me happy.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you.”

She sat up, looked deeply into his eyes. All he could do was look back at her, trying to keep his heart from beating so fast. It was the lack of sleep, he decided. He didn’t need much sleep, but he had slept even less than usual that night. That was why his body reacted the way it did. He did not love Catelyn Tully. He couldn’t. His feelings for her were dead.

“No, you’re not” she said after a moment.

“No, I’m not.”

She got up on her feet and stretched. He wasn’t supposed to watch her the way he did and still he couldn’t turn his eyes away. He didn’t love her, but denying that there was some attraction still left wouldn’t help anything. She was pretty. And he knew way too much about her to not think of it sometimes.

“I think I’ll go back to bed, if I’m lucky Sansa will let me sleep a bit more.”

He wouldn’t have complained if the moment had lasted longer, but he couldn’t keep her there.

“You do that” he said.

Maybe it was good if he went back to bed too. He did have a day of work ahead of him, being as well rested as possible would probably be good.

As Catelyn walked past him she leaned down and kissed the top of his head. It was a quick motion, over in a second. But Ned was so startled by it that he didn’t know what to do.

“Goodnight” she said with a smile and then she walked upstairs.

~*~

Had she overstepped? Maybe. But she had wanted to kiss him so badly after their conversation that the thought of not touching him in some small way had felt unbearable. Just earlier that night Catelyn had told herself that as long as it didn’t go any longer than an accidental affective term here and there it would be fine. And then she had immediately initiated physical contact that was more than platonic. What was she doing? She didn’t love him, she couldn’t love him. It wasn’t good for anyone. It would be better if she just stopped feeling so much.

He was most likely still angry with her for what she had done. They had not talked about it yet, but she knew. And she did deserve that and pressuring him wouldn’t make it better. And she had told herself that it wouldn’t end well if they slept together. But what was actually the worst case scenario? He wasn’t married anymore, she had no secrets, they already had kids together. And the chance of getting into a fight was there even without the sex. They were basically living like a married couple already, sleeping with him wouldn’t really change anything.

“Self control, Catelyn Tully” she muttered to herself. “You said you wouldn’t so you won’t.”

She had gone so long without those feelings. Everything had gone so well. And then they put their claws into her once more. But she would resist. She had not acted upon it and it would continue that way. For everyone’s best. Because they had not talked about anything. Even though they were living peacefully they had really not solved anything. And she would not do that to him, she would not take another step forward until she was sure of that he was fine and they had all cards on the table. They probably would never have. And that had to be okay. Because she had fucked up in gigantic proportions, and she could not expect him to be okay with it. One reaps what one sows. And unfortunately she had sown some bad seeds.

But it was hard seeing him. She would not say it wasn’t. Though she kept up a good expression. Like the good person that she was. Or at least half decent person. Maybe calling herself a good person after she had slept with a man she knew was married was taking it a bit too far.

Edmure of course found it incredibly funny when she explained the situation to him in the morning. She probably would have called him a number of things if not Robb and Jon had been in the same room. Their unusable kitchen really wasn’t funny at all.

“Could Robb stay with you and Roslin while we get the kitchen fixed?” she asked, using all her energy to keep calm. “It really would help a lot.”

“Of course” Edmure said

She breathed a sigh of relief, but that relief passed a second later when Edmure kept on talking.

“So what are you gonna do?”

“What do you mean? We’re gonna see if there’s more water damage and get the floor changed.”

“That was not what I meant.”

She could hear his smirk. Had he been there she would have smacked the back of his head, but she couldn’t do that.

“Then what did you mean?”

“Oh you know... if Robb is with me and Jon is with Ned’s ex-wife... the house will be almost empty except for you two.”

Catelyn was thoroughly tired of him and his remarks. But that one was at least partly on her, she had actually asked.

“If I murdered you no one would judge me” she hissed, in a voice that was low enough for Robb and Jon not to hear her.

“The law, sweet sister, would judge you.”

“I’d take twenty years in prison just to be rid of you.”

“Your man at home wouldn’t be very happy though, would he?”

“I’m going to hang up now.”

“I’ll pick Robb up after work. Love you.”

“Idiot.”

And then she got the boys ready for school. Jon accepted her help without complaining but in his grey eyes she saw how he disliked that it wasn’t his mother helping him. Robb seemed oblivious of it though, he talked just as much as he always did. About most everything. Ned just chose to not acknowledge it.

He felt bad for what he had done, she knew that. He probably regretted it as well, but she didn’t allow herself to think too much about that. It was as it was. And dwelling upon whether Ned regretted it or not wouldn’t take her anywhere. They had their baby. So at least something good had come out of it.

Once Ned and the boys were out the house was oddly quiet. Sansa cooperated perfectly that day so she wasn’t too much trouble. Catelyn spent the calm hours looking into what would be best for their water damaged kitchen. Once that was done she packed Robb’s things so that it would be done when Edmure came to pick him up. She glanced at Jon’s side of the room. Could she pack his things too? Or would that be overstepping? She wasn’t trying to replace Ashara. Not in the least, she knew her place. It would just be easier if she packed for him too so that he was ready when Ned was going to drive him to Ashara. Surely no one could be too angry at that? In the end she decided to do it. No one could blame her for her intentions, could they?

“Thank you, Catelyn” was what Jon said when she handed him his bag.

At least he had stopped with calling her Ms. Tully. That was always something. And he didn’t seem to feel much about it at all.

“You’re welcome.”

“Has Sansa been nice today?” he asked.

Catelyn was surprised by that question. Not that Jon didn’t care for Sansa, he was very sweet with her. And he sounded very proud over it whenever he talked about her. But he very rarely talked more than strictly necessary to Catelyn.

“Yes, today she’s been very nice.”

“Good.”

“Then maybe she’ll sleep better tonight” Ned said.

“Let’s hope so.”

For the sake of Catelyn’s well-being. After she had gone back to bed she had barely slept a second because Sansa had decided that sleeping was overrated. Just then the doorbell rang and Robb practically came flying down the stairs. He reacted to the doorbell like a dog. So even though Catelyn, Ned and Jon were in the hall they let Robb open the door. It was Edmure, as expected.

“Hello everyone!” he said as he stepped inside, grinning like an idiot.

“Edmure” Ned muttered for a greeting.

Just as Jon usually avoided Catelyn when it was possible, Ned avoided Edmure when it was possible. He got very uncomfortable around her brother. And it wasn’t strange considering Edmure didn’t have any limits. She had just learned to live with it.

“Edmure. No” Catelyn said when he opened his mouth to answer.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!”

“It’s better if you don’t say anything at all.”

“How do you stand living with her?” Edmure asked Ned.

Ned pretended not to hear that. Maybe he barely could stand living with her. It didn’t matter. As long as they were friendly for the children the rest didn’t really matter. But the thought of him disliking her felt worse than she wanted to admit.

Jon slipped past Edmure and went outside to wait for Ned while she made sure Robb had everything he needed.

“Give Uncle Edmure hell from me, will you?” she said as Robb picked up his bag.

“I promise” he smiled.

“That’s unfair!” Edmure exclaimed.

She pulled Robb into a hug.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

It wasn’t often she was separated from Robb more than a few days at a time. When she thought of it she couldn’t remember if it had ever happened. Surely it must have, but she still didn’t like it when he was with Edmure or her parents for too long. She had to keep reminding himself that he was getting big. There wouldn’t be many years until he no longer wanted to be with her. But he had been her only child for so long, it was hard.

She let go of Robb and expected him to run outside after Jon, but instead he turned to Ned.

“You take care of her” he said, serious as death. “And make sure of that she doesn’t worry so much.”

Both Catelyn and Ned stopped at that. He glanced at her for just a second, then he looked back at Robb. She wanted to say something to Robb, but nothing came out.

“I promise to do that” Ned responded, sounding just as serious as her son.

“Good.”

Then Robb walked out the door. The sweet boy.

“I shouldn’t be too long” Ned said. “And I’ll buy food on the way home.”

“Sounds good” she said. “Bye.”

And, seemingly without thinking of it, he leaned down and kissed her. It was just a peck, quick, as if it was a routine. Something they did every time one of them left the house. But it was a kiss all the same. And Catelyn didn’t know what to do.

She backed away a step, just to do something. Ned realized what he had done and she had never seen a more panicked face in her life. She didn’t really know how she felt. Mostly shocked. She had not imagined that their first kiss in over a year would be like that. She had not imagined there would be a first kiss at all. Or, well, she had imagined it more than a few times. But she hadn’t actually believed it would ever come true.

“What are you doing?” she asked, unsure of what else to say.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I don’t know what I was doing” Ned apologized.

When he had apologized for calling her “darling” he had just sounded tired. At the moment all she could hear was pure panic. And she knew that he genuinely had no idea of why he had done it. He was just as shocked as she was.

“Cat, really, I have no idea of why I just did that. And I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

“There is nothing to– oh my gods, Edmure, shut up!”

While all that had happened Edmure had been laughing hysterically in the background. But she had not really been aware of it until just then. Her attention had been directed towards Ned and the fact that he had kissed her.

“Do you really want me to believe that you two are not together?” he practically howled. “You don’t accidentally kiss someone, you do that often!

She really couldn’t deal with him at the moment.

“Get out.”

“You take good care of my sister now, Ned, give her everything you know she likes.”

“Shut your seven times damned mouth and get out!”

He actually did so, still laughing to himself, so that was a small relief.

“You know there’s nothing to forgive” she said to Ned once the door was closed. “But that was very... out of the blue. To say the least.”

She had thought of doing that about a hundred times since he came home, but she had never been even close to acting on it. And then he just kissed her out of nowhere. Was it because he wanted to kiss her?

“I know.”

~*~

He was undoubtedly the stupidest person he knew. He had not been aware of that he had done it at first. But then she had looked at him with wide eyes and asked him what he was doing. And Ned hadn’t even known what he had been doing. That was the second time that day he had done something like that. What was happening?

Despite the initial question she didn’t seem upset about it. Mostly confused. And he had to admit that he was confused as well. He had thought of kissing her before, but had never acted on it. It had only been a thought, safe deep in his mind, and never something that would be reality. Or that was what he had thought. And then he had kissed her.

“Go” Catelyn sighed. “We can talk more when you get home.”

“Are you sure it’s alright? I really didn’t mean to do that to you” he said.

He wouldn’t want her to think of him like that. And he would rather die than do something to her against her will.

That actually brought a smile to her face.

“Yes. No need to worry, it was a mistake. Let’s just pretend it never happened.”

For some reason that thought made something twist in his chest. Pretending it never happened would probably be the best. But still. It had been a mistake but he knew that he wouldn’t have objected to it happening again. But that clearly wasn’t what she wanted. And they still had not figured anything out. Building things on top of a broken base was a terrible idea. But did he really want to fix that base? He didn’t know. If they fixed it the temptation would be even bigger. And more temptation really wasn’t what they needed. They needed to move on despite that the conditions for that were bad.

“Yeah.”

“Jon is waiting for you” she said.

“And so is Edmure, most likely.”

Edmure would never let them hear the end of it. As if though the rest hadn’t been enough. He had asked Ned how he could stand living with Catelyn. Living with Catelyn was quite easy, Ned’s biggest question was how Catelyn had managed to stand out with Edmure for so long.

“No offense, but I really don’t like your brother” he said.

Catelyn laughed.

“I assure you, no one finds my brother more annoying than I do.”

“I actually might beat you on that one.”

“You definitely don’t. Now go.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She sighed and almost pushed him towards the door when he turned to leave.

“You’re such a dork, I can’t take this.”

But she was smiling. That beautiful smile that made her shine. He had been afraid that he wouldn’t see that smile for a while after that mistake. But he did. And he loved that smile.

“Bye” he said as he stepped outside.

She only shook her head and closed the door behind him. To his great relief Edmure was not waiting for him. He had never been happier about being wrong.

The ride to Ashara’s went fine. Jon talked a little bit about how school had been, what he had learned and what they were going to do on Monday. Ned treasured those moments with his son. Because he knew that once he got older he wouldn’t be as happy anymore. He would most likely hate his father for what he had done.

Ashara had stayed in their house after the divorce. And despite that he had lived there for years it felt weird when he walked up to the door with Jon. The little boy bounced forward with his bag in one hand and rang the doorbell with the other. It only took Ashara a few seconds to open.

“Hey, sweetheart!” she said and pulled Jon into a tight hug which he happily returned.

“Hi, Mom!”

“I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too!”

Before he would have been a part of that. Just a bit more than a year ago. But he wasn’t. Because of his own idiotic mistakes. Or could he really call it a mistake when he did not regret it? He had his daughter, Sansa. The most lovely little girl ever. He could not regret that. Even though he wished Ashara would not have been hurt. She deserved better than to be hurt in the way he had hurt her. But he had done it, he had gone to Catelyn knowing what it would do to his wife.

“Is Dad going to come inside?” Jon asked and looked up at his mother.

“No. Dad isn’t coming inside.”

That she could keep her face from going hard when she said that was a miracle. But no matter how much she wanted to kill him she would smile for their son. Just like he would smile for Robb no matter what his mother had done.

“You can go inside though, Jon” Ashara said and ran a hand through the boy’s hair. “I’ll be with you in a moment.”

“Okay” Jon said and turned to Ned. “Bye, Dad!”

“Bye, Jon.”

Ashara waited for Jon to get inside and then she turned to him as well.

“How is your daughter?” she asked, her tone neutral, as if they were speaking about the weather.

“She’s fine. Healthy.”

“Good. And how is her mother?”

“She’s fine as well.”

Talking about it was hard. He had created all that on his own, but still talking about it was hard. He had hurt people for Cat, including Cat, and then she had hurt him as well in the process. It was so much hurt. So much pain that had been unnecessary and avoidable. But they were human, they did stupid things for all sorts of reasons. That was the only explanation he had, because it didn’t really make sense. He had tried to make sense of it all and had realized that he understood very little. He had loved Cat, he had loved Ashara, he loved his children. Had it all been for love? No, that wasn’t it. How could it have been for love if he hurt people he loved?

Ashara looked up at the sky. There wasn’t a cloud in sight and it hadn’t rained in days.

“Catelyn” she said after a moment of silence. “I wish I could like her. She seems very likable. Maybe we could have been friends if it had not been for that she decided to go for my husband. Or maybe you’ll be her husband soon.”

He could hear the question in her words.

“No” he sighed. “And it will stay that way.”

Ashara chuckled.

“You know, that kinda pisses me off. Fine if you had left me for someone you loved more, but now you just left me.”

“I asked for a divorce because you deserve better than someone who cheats on you. I didn’t leave you, I wanted you to have better than me. Staying in the marriage would have been unfair, I couldn’t do that to you. And when my daughter came into the picture I had to do it for her as well.”

He had loved them both, and because of that he had let Ashara down. She deserved so much better. He deserved someone who wasn’t weak for some old flame, who loved her and her alone.

“Then why even sleep with her in the first place? If you couldn’t do that to me?”

He had asked himself that question a thousand times. He had known that he would ruin his relationship with Ashara, and still he had done it. Why?

“Because I’m weak” he ended up saying. “Because sometimes I’m a bad person. I have no excuses and no good reasons for doing what I did. But I’m sorry.”

He had told Catelyn that as well, even though it felt like it had been ages since then. They were weak. They had always been. But they had to put an end to it.

“As you should be.”

“I am. Truly.”

Ned wasn’t the best at expressing things, he was well aware of that flaw, but he really was sorry for putting Ashara through that. Divorce had been the only reasonable thing to do, but they had not needed to get to that point if he had not cheated in the first place. But it had been Catelyn. And Catelyn was... Catelyn. His Cat.

“That’s always something, I suppose” Ashara said. “Well, good luck with the kitchen.”

“Thank you.”

It was a relief when she followed Jon inside and closed the door. Ned had not expected to have that conversation, and it had been difficult. All of it was difficult. Oh how Ned wished it could have been different. In what way, he had no idea. Because the mess had given him his children, and he couldn’t regret that. Without Ashara he wouldn’t have had Jon, and without Cat he wouldn’t have had Sansa. And Robb.

He liked Robb. The boy was so much like his mother, there wasn’t a trace of Ned in him. And he wished he could have known Robb from the beginning, he wished he could have been a proper father to him. There probably would have been more of him in Robb if that had been the case. If Catelyn had let that happen.

He still couldn’t understand it at all. Why she had decided that keeping their son a secret was a good idea, and it made him both angry and sad. But some part of Cat had always been a mystery, some part of her he would never understand. She was human, she did illogical things all the time. And even though it was hard to accept that he had to, because what had been done had been done. Nothing could change it.

When he got back in the car he noticed that Catelyn had sent him a message.

My mom came here because Edmure told her about the kitchen

That didn’t exactly make Ned overjoyed, Cat’s family had no love for him. But her mother was probably the one he got along with best out of all of them. Her father didn’t even try to hide his dislike and her siblings either made jokes or just pursed their lips at him. Not that his family loved Catelyn particularly much, it was just Lyanna. The rest of them seemed weary.

Is she staying for dinner?

No but she’ll be here when you come home. Just thought you wanted to know

Thanks for the heads up

No problem

He sighed and leaned back in the seat, closed his eyes for a moment. It really wasn’t his day. But it couldn’t get any worse, right?

~*~

this is so much fun to write and people were so engaged in it last time, so i hope i didn’t disappoint and that i can deliver on the same level as last time this was a thing on my blog

Thanks for reading <3

[tyongpoetry]

I haven't been able to write lately, so I made this! Leave your requests anytime!

angst/ fluff/ crack. please specify!

1. “Do I look like a bad guy to you?”

2. "I'm just saying someone could make a very lucrative business by offering to call and make appointments for me."

3. "I know I can live without being in a relationship. I've been doing it for years. But that doesn't stop me from wanting one."

4. "Happy Birthday!" "Oh, wow! You're only several months off!"

5. "Your heart's too big for your body."

6. "That sounds like a you problem, so no."

7. "I haven't felt this betrayed since I found out that the cupcakes you kept making me were made with zucchini."

8. “You’re not welcome here!''

9. “Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.”

10. "You look like you haven't slept."

11. "Stay with me."

12. "I would literally pay for you to shut up."

13. “Oh, oops.” “Pretty sure, accidentally shooting someone, calls for more than an oops.”

14. You're not as annoying as you used to be.

15. “....Aren’t you a little young, to be here?”

16. “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just wish you had kept yours to yourself.”

17. "I don’t know how to tell you this, but yelling at someone to stop panicking, isn’t going to stop them from panicking.”

18. “It’s not your fault. Sometimes you can do everything right, and things will still go wrong... This just happened to be one of those times."

19. “.....I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that.”

20. “None of this seems healthy.”

21. “....Should I be concerned?”

22. “I said pass it to me, not throw it in my general direction!"

23. "Your savior is here!" "Can you not say that every time you enter the room?"

24. “I. Don’t. Lose.”

25. “You can’t save all of them.”

26. “I’m not doing anything wrong.”

27. “Your city is in ruins and it’s all your fault.”

28. “Someone isn’t walking out of here today.”

29. “You must’ve forgotten that I always win.”

30. “Do you know who you are really working for?”

31. “I’m simply doing what needs to be done.”

32. “You’ll find that it’s difficult to keep power once you have it.”

33. “I don’t play God, I am God.

34. “I’d ask if you were ok, but the answer seems a little obvious.”

35. “I wish I could say that this is the first time, someone has stabbed me with a plastic spoon.”

36. “Freeze! Or the rubber ducky gets it!”

37. “You are indeed, a terrible person, but luckily for you, I have low standards.”

38. “Ok, which one of you fuckers, put bones in the dishwasher again?”

39. “Huh... There are a lot less corpses than I was expecting. Are you sure we’re in the right place?”

40. “I’ve never seen someone pick a fight with a stuffed animal, and lose, before.”

41. “How many times do I have to tell you? Non-toxic does Not mean edible!”

42. “It’s all fun and games until someone knocks out the designated driver.”

43. “Please stop nibbling on the guests.”

44. “If you don’t shut up, I’m going to ram this entire fucking thing down your throat, and you’ll be speaking like a squeaky toy for the rest of the night.”

45. "Marry me."

xoxo, aria ♡

[mlm-writer]

Push and Pull (John Kennex x GN!Reader)

Pairing: John Kennex  x Gender Neutral Reader  Rating: PG-13 for swearing  Words: 2143 Summary: John has been distant ever since you started dating. You’ve tried to endure it in the hopes of it getting better, but, unfortunately, communication seems necessary to solve problems. John does not like to talk about his feelings tho.  Tags: Angst, relationship problems, hurt/comfort, insecurities, John’s puppy eyes, swearing, reference to violence, beta read at 2am, reader is thirsty af at one point but look at this man do we blame the reader? 

“Professor.” You looked away from the screen you have been doing data analyses at. The last of your fellow forensic scientists stood at the door with her coat on. “I cleaned up as much as I could. Please don’t forget to go home yourself.” You smiled at her and reassured her you would go home before midnight. The look in her eyes made the same inquiry as most of your colleagues had, but she did not ask why you were working so much.

At this point you did not even write down the extra hours, afraid that some MX might kick you out by five if you did. Your notes started to get sloppy, but you felt like it was worth it when you heard a knock on the door. Without waiting for an answer, it opened and your boyfriend stepped inside. “Hey, have you eaten yet?” You shook your head and frantically opened the file with your notes. 

“No, but I have some interesting findings about the samples from your case this morning.” It sent you down a rabbit hole of connecting dots and by the time you started mentally dozing off, you were so close to a breakthrough. Frustration filled your body as you tried to force your brain to have just one more useful thought. 

A kiss landed on your temple. “Let’s continue tomorrow. I am tired and hungry.” You let out a sleepy chuckle as you closed up for today. You kept a professional distance from John as you both exited the building in silence and walked towards the car. The moment you sat down, you started napping for just those few minutes you knew it took to get to John’s favourite noodle place. 

A soft shake woke you from your dreamless slumber. “Hey, you’ve been working too hard lately.” You scoffed and brushed it off. You knew, but you felt like John had been distancing himself ever since you two were officially a thing. Before that he was always more open and vulnerable around you than with other people, but now you felt like he was more open towards anyone but you. The only way to get him to let loose, was to work on a case with him, so you gave that little extra to spend more time with him as soon and as much as possible. 

“You must be really tired. Usually, you chat the ears off my head.” You looked up from your bowl of steaming noodles and forced a smile on your face. 

“Well, I guess working more makes me better company then,” you replied without thinking about it. You did not notice the shocked look on your boyfriend’s face, until he put a hand on your wrist. 

“I like it when you chat my ears off my head, so get some more rest, ok? You don’t have to do everything on your own. Just let your colleagues help you more.” You pull your hand away, pouting as you continue eating. 

The idea of someone else talking John through the evidence fuelled a jealousy that had been vestering in your chest for weeks now. “Take me home with you tomorrow.” John choked on his noodles. Heads turned towards him as he coughed and reached for his beer. He chugged half of it before looking at you again like he misheard you. “You heard me. We need to talk and I am too tired right now.” 

John was quiet for a moment. The air was tense as you two ate. Your bowl was close to empty when you heard his voice again. “If you want to break up with me, you can just say it now.” His voice was small and if you were not so overworked, tired and frustrated, you would have hugged him and reassured him that you loved him so much and that breaking up was the opposite of what you wanted. However, you were overworked, tired and frustrated, so that was not happening. 

You slammed your spoon into the bowl and stood up. “If you never wanted to be in a relationship with me in the first place, then you should just have said no when I asked you to be my boyfriend,” you gritted through your teeth to make as less of a scene as possible. “I’m gonna take a cab home.” Something inside you hoped he would come after you, like men did in movies, but your name stayed uncalled as you waited in the cold night air for a cab to pass you by. 

The next day, your head was even less in the game. You kept making typos, to the point someone gently suggested you took a break. Their tone betrayed how foul your mood had been and you caved. It was getting better, until a familiar face joined you. “There you are, professor,” he said upon arrival, putting way too much emphasis on ‘professor’, “I was hoping you could fill me on your findings on yesterday’s evidence.” You did not like his tone at all. Your eyes almost rolled out of their sockets as you stood up and walked past him. He followed you to your desk, keeping more distance than he usually would. 

“Here,” you hissed as you pushed the file folder into his hands, “your culprit is sprinkling Marigold pollen around like Hansel and Gretel. Dorian knows how to scan for it. You’ll have them by lunch.” You gave him a passive aggressive pat on the arm, before hopping off your desk and walking away. You caught a scrutinizing gaze from your boyfriend, but you pulled an uno reverse card on that. Maybe you were being immature, but you were convinced you had enough reason to. 

If you were not still angry at John, you would’ve thought him dragging the suspect into the precinct before lunch was really hot. You still thought it was hot, but you were too angry to admit that to yourself. You bit the inside of your cheek when you saw him sit the suspect down by force, before turning the glass translucent, blurring the inside. 

On the plus side, having a case finished so easily with little issues, put John in a good mood. You were calmed down as well by the time it was time to clock out. You got a message at two past five. It was from John, asking you to have Chinese take-out at his place tonight. You shot him a message back, something long enough to show him you were in a better mood than that morning. 

While getting the food, it was easy to slip into conversation about the case he solved today. Work-talk turned into reminiscing, talking about people, laughing a little. However, when the door of his apartment closed behind you, it felt so cut-off from the rest of the world and the air between you became thick with the masks you both have the tendency to put on in public. Eating the food had gotten way more awkward than getting the food. With no one to convince you were two happily dating adults, there was uncertainty of how much you had to fool yourselves everything was fine. 

Both of you knew there was need for serious talk, for heart-to-heart conversations about something other than work. “When the captain found out about us,” you started out of nowhere, because it had to start somehow, “she told me to be patient with you, because you had some bad experiences with your ex.” You could see tension growing in his shoulders. “John, we’ve been dating for three months now. Don’t you think it is time you tell me at least a little about your ex? I don’t need the details, but…”

“No.”

You had not even finished speaking. John was already standing up and gathering the dirty plates, turning his back towards you to toss them in the sink. “Why?” You put your hands on your hips, hoping for a very good answer. 

“What happened with her is none of your business,” he grunted as he aggressively started putting everything in the dishwasher, not leaving everything to solidify for once. 

“Well I think it is,” you replied, wanting for him to turn around, but you were not going to beg to see his face. 

“And I think not. What does she have to do with you?”

You walked around the table and stood next to him. Your proximate forced him to at least give you a short glance. Your face was hard, but your voice was fraying at the edges. “Well maybe it will help me understand why you have been such a lousy boyfriend.” You did not mean that, but you felt like you did. 

“I told you yesterday to not keep fucking around if you just want to break up with me,” he replied, not giving in to telling you anything. 

“I do not want to break up with you, but if you’re just gonna prefer talking to anyone but me, what is the point of being in a relationship with you?” You tilted your head, trying to get a look at his face, but you flinched away as he tossed a glass back into the sink with unnecessary force. It was a surprisingly sturdy glass that did not shatter. You backed away, survival instinct winning. John never gave the vibe of someone who would hurt you. He may have been rough in the bedroom, but never angry and to be honest, angry John scared you. 

You swallowed thickly, hoping he would say something, but instead he just tossed the towel lying on the counter across the room. You backed away further, tensing up at the frustrated growl he let out. You never had seen him like this. He was scarier now than when he was yelling at an MX, scarier than when he shot a suspect that returned to the crime scene, scarier than when he came back from the field with bruises and a suspect in a worse state than him. 

“Just say it already,” he roared, “there is no point of being with me, so just end it!” Your heart hammered in your chest, but you heard his desperation. He seemed angry, but his voice betrayed the direction of his anger was not you, but himself. 

“End it yourself if you want us to break up so bad,” you replied, sounding more angry than you meant to, voice raised in defence.

“I don’t want to!”

“Then what the fuck is your problem?”

“I’m scared!”

He looked up with horror on his face, seemingly shocked by his own words. “Goddammit, I’m a mess,” he nearly inaudibly muttered as he walked over to the couch with limp limbs. You crossed your arms, looking at him as you stayed in place. John was never keen on talking, but your silence forced him to. “My ex… she stabbed me in the back,” he admitted, but the sentence did not sound like it was finished. 

“And now you’re scared I will too, so the moment we get together you get cold feet about how much you can trust me?” He did not nod or hum, but the defensive posture was confirmation enough. “Well… I passed the background check when I joined the force.” He let out a bitter chuckle, before looking at you. He held his hand out for you with puppy eyes you could not resist. You sighed and walked over. “I assume it was more than cheating?” You asked, trying to be direct without being overly specific. Your fingers touched his rough hand and he took a firm grasp of yours. He pulled, but let you sit down next to him on your own terms. 

“Oh I wish she cheated,” he tried to joke, but his tone lacked humor. John’s thumb rubbed over your hands as you sat next to each other, distance between you, bridged by your intertwined hands. “It’s not easy to explain,” he said as his eyes stayed on the connection between you two, “but I will, someday.” He looked up to you with those same puppy eyes. “Just give me time, yeah?”

You sighed, hating yourself for being such a sucker for those eyes. “Just stop avoiding me at work. I’ve been working on your cases so you would talk to me.” 

He laughed. “For real?” You felt a little stupid, but nodded anyway. “Oh.” He swallowed down another laugh. “Then I’ll try to talk to you more often, so go home earlier, sleep more and eat well.” He patted your head, a soft smile on his face. 

“Hey, those are three things in exchange for one thing. I don’t think that’s fair.” You saw the edges of his mouth tug up against his will. 

“Ok fine, what other demands do you have?” He questioned, humor returning.

[shyvioletcat]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WRITE A PART 3 FOR STUPID REGRETS!!!!!!!!!!!! Love your work by the way!

Actually Part 5... but using asks is easier formatting on my ipad.

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

EDIT: MASTERLIST

~~~~~

Aelin sat at the table setting on her back porch, a glass of lemonade in front of her. It had lost her focus a while ago, she was too busy watching the adventures of her son in the backyard. He was armed with a stick, Rowan with another as he taught Dylan some sword fighting moves. Dylan took it all fairly seriously as Rowan tapped his foot with his stick to make sure he was standing right. Then Rowan lifted his ‘sword’ and Dylan went for him. The clacking sound of wood on wood rang throughout the backyard and Aelin smiled as Rowan narrowly dodged a hard jab to the ribs.

“He’s so good with him. I haven’t seen Dylan smile like that in a very long time,” Aelin’s mother said quietly from beside her.

Since his father died, is what Evalin left unsaid.

Rowan laughed as Dylan managed to poke him in the ribs. The sweet boy apologised profusely but Rowan assured him he was fine. Then they were raising their pretend swords again.

“I didn’t know Rowan knew fencing,” Evalin commented.

Aelin held in her snort. “He doesn’t. He’s just watched a lot of Star Wars.”

Evalin chuckled softly and Aelin smiled.

Aelin took a sip of her lemonade. “Dylan really loves him. Rowan has been great for him.”

“What about you?”

Aelin looked at her mother and her loaded question. “What do you mean ‘what about me’?”

Evalin just gave her a long look. Aelin sighed and looked back out to where Rowan and Dylan played. It was 2 years since Rowan had walked her home that evening when they had finally bridged that gap between them. He’d become her best friend again, and he’d been a godsend with Dylan, being there for both of them as they found their way out of the darkness of grief. Rowan had never asked for more than she was willing to give. And gods, Aelin wasn’t even sure if Rowan would still want her in that way after everything. But for a few months now Aelin had been tempted to ask him, but something held her back.

Her mother reached out and gripped her hand. “I think Sam would want you to be happy.”

Aelin looked up to the blue sky as tears began to sting at the corner of her eyes. “I don’t want it to feel like I’m betraying him.” Aelin said, her voice thick as she desperately tried to hold back her tears.

“Fireheart, no. You loved him, you grieved for him, you honour him everyday with how much you love your son. If you’re ready to love again I have no doubt in my mind that Sam would be happy for you,” Evalin said.

Aelin felt a tear fall from her eye and quickly wiped it away before Dylan or Rowan could see. “You really think so?”

Evalin stood and pressed a kiss to Aelin’s head. “I do.”

~~~~~

After their little chat, Aelin’s mother had left to get dinner ready at her own home leaving Aelin to think about everything she had said. Aelin had watched Rowan and Dylan play for a bit longer before she went inside herself and put their dinner of mac and cheese in the oven.

Then she had gone to her bedroom, and stood in front of her dresser. She looked at her wedding rings in the box, ran her fingers over them. She hadn’t worn them in years, she had stopped almost as soon as Sam had died, the weight too heavy on her finger. She looked up at the photo she kept by them, it was one of her favourites from their wedding reception. Sam had just announced to their guests that she was pregnant and his smile was unrestrained. That moment was probably one of the times she’d seen him at his happiest.

So gently she ran her fingers over his face. “You’ll always be a part of me Sam, a part of our lives. I’ll miss you, everyday I’ll wish you were here. There will always be a part of my heart that belongs to you.” Aelin didn’t say anything more as she closed the lid on her rings and left the room.

That had been a few hours ago. Rowan had stayed for dinner on Dylan’s insistence and then for a movie as well. They had put on one of the Star Wars movies and Dylan had tucked himself into Rowan’s side. The way Rowan had let him, not even batting an eye, had Aelin’s chest aching at the sight. The 6 year old had lasted until about half way through before he fell asleep and that had Rowan smiling down at the boy as he kept watching.

Aelin gathered up the empty popcorn bowls from the living room and took them to the kitchen and started to back the dishwasher. She was almost done when she heard Rowan come in.

“Can I help?” He offered.

Aelin shook her head. “No, I’m just about done.”

Rowan crossed his arms and lent on the bench. “I thought he’d wake up when I moved, but he is out.”

Aelin laughed. “That was some serious sword fighting this afternoon. I’m not surprised.”

Rowan’s chuckle made her look up. His harsh, handsome face held a gentleness and a softness to it that she had missed all those years they had been apart.

“Aelin what is it?” Rowan asked quietly.

He must have noticed her stare, and now Aelin didn’t know what to do. She felt tears in her eyes again, exactly why she didn’t know. Rowan stepped up to her, his finger gently pushing her chin up so she looked into his face.

“What is it?”

“Do you love me, Rowan?” Aelin whispered.

Rowan looked at her, his eyes reading everything she couldn’t say. “I never stopped.”

Aelin didn’t think. Her arms went around his neck and she pressed her lips to his. It took him a moment to react, Aelin’s heart stuttered in that moment of hesitation, but then he was kissing her back. His hand rested on her hips as hers found their way to his shoulders.

“Mum!”

Aelin broke the kiss as her son called for her. “Coming, Dylan!”

Rowan smiled down at her, and Aelin couldn’t help but smile back.

“Are you sure about this?” Aelin asked.

Rowan kissed her again. “I have many regrets in my life Aelin, but I won’t regret this.”

~~~~~

Tags:

@fucking-winchester-trash // @literary-licorice // @galyxsy // @tangledraysofsunshine // @highqueenofelfhame // @3am-reading // @soup-that-is-too-hawt // @aelinfire-bringer // @nalgenewhore // @highladyofthesith // @http-itsrebecca // @sleep-and-books // @average-girl-at-best // @alifletcher2012 // @westofmoon // @sleeping-and-books // @ttakeitbacknoww // @armixers-unite // @mariamuses // @chocolate-eating-bitch-queen // @velarian-trash // @queenofxhearts // @heroesofterrasen // @highladyofstoriesandmusic // @empire-of-wildfire // @camerooonchiu // @crackedship // @lowhangingtreebranches // @over300books // @yourwhisperingshadows // @thesirenwashere // @tswaney17 // @impossiblescissorspeachpaper // @cat5313 // @judelovescardan // @flowerspringsea // @chaoticskyy // @the-regal-warrior // @fanfictrash3000 // @blueeyes425 // @starseternalnighttriumphant // @bamchickawowow // @thehuntressofmoon // @giorgia-the-trashpanda // @flora-and-fae // @thereaderandfangirl // @illyrian-bookworm // @chemicha // @meltalgel-ig // @gay-book-nerd // @that-odd-puzzle-piece // @i-love-all-books // @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato // @girl-who-reads-the-books // @hizqueen4life // @the-third-me // @queen-of-glass // @mynewdreamwasyou

[junghelioseok]

HAPPY THREE YEARS!!! 🥳 got an ask my muse for you/wine!yoongi because it’s literally my favorite series! I’ve read it in its entirety at least three times lmao. wine!yoongi, how’s everyone at cypher? what came next for you and yn after saccharine?

this is delightful, i’m so glad you’re still enjoying wine this much! i haven’t thought about wine!yoongi in a good long time, so it’s nice to delve into his head a bit. thank you for this, babe!

///

Lunch shifts at Cypher are swiftly becoming your favorite.

Sure, the money is nowhere near as good as the rushes you get during dinner, but it’s during afternoon lulls like this that you get to sit and chat with your boyfriend. Yoongi is unloading the little dishwasher that sits behind the counter of his bar, his nose scrunching as warm steam wafts out from the machine, and you can’t help but giggle.

“Something funny, sweetheart?”

“Nothing at all,” you reply immediately, fighting the smile that threatens to break across your face all over again. Yoongi raises a suspicious brow, and you sigh when he tosses you a soft microfiber towel. 

“Liar,” he accuses. “As punishment, you can help me dry these glasses off.”

“I like your other punishments better,” you reply coyly, grinning when he nearly drops the martini glass in his hand. 

Jungkook and Taehyung choose that moment to make themselves known, popping their heads around the corner of the short hall that leads to the kitchen and retching in unison. 

“You two are disgusting,” Jungkook declares with a frown. 

Yoongi shrugs. “No one made you eavesdrop.”

“Excuse me, we’re at work. And this isn’t a very large restaurant,” Taehyung puts in. “Are we supposed to hide in the walk-in every time you two start flirting?”

You make a face at him. “You hide in the walk-in all the time to sneak pieces of Jin’s cheesecake. What difference does it make?”

“So that’s where the cheesecake goes!”

Jin has somehow managed to sneak up on all of you without being heard, and is now staring at Taehyung with his fists on his hips. Taehyung, for his part, looks guilty, but only the tiniest bit as he turns to face Cypher’s head chef. “Uh, sorry about that?”

“You ingrate,” Jin sighs. “Don’t make me start taking the cake out of your paycheck.”

“You should deduct it from Jungkook’s paycheck too,” Taehyung says, readily betraying his friend with an accusing finger. “He goes back there all the time to eat it with me.”

“Twice!” Jungkook defends, looking thoroughly offended. “You’re thinking of Jimin. He loves cheesecake.”

Jin sighs loudly. “God, you all suck.”

“I think we need to reinstate the jar,” Yoongi says dryly. 

Confused, you frown. “The jar?”

Seokjin brightens, and Yoongi nods. “This was before you were hired. We used to keep a jar in the back for infractions. Maybe someone—and by someone, I mean Namjoon—broke something, or someone swore within earshot of a guest. A dollar went in the jar for every mistake.”

“At the end of each month, we took the money in the jar and had a nice staff dinner,” Jin continues. “That’s a great idea, Yoongi. I’m pretty sure the jar’s still in the back office somewhere. Namjoon might have planted something in it though, lemme go check...”

Jin departs with a wave, and Taehyung and Jungkook exchange disgruntled looks. “I can’t believe you’re really bringing back the damn jar,” Taehyung grumbles, plopping down on the barstool next to you. 

You pinch his arm. “Hey, no swearing! Dollar in the jar, as soon as Jin comes back.”

Taehyung opens his mouth, before wisely reconsidering and shutting it again. “You’re lucky I like you,” he tells you. “And staff dinners.”

“We won’t be having any dinner if we don’t have any glasses,” Yoongi points out, pulling two more towels from beneath the counter. “Here. Since you have time to run your mouth, you may as well help dry.”

“Goddammit,” Taehyung mutters under his breath, accepting the towels and tossing the other over to Jungkook, who curses as well. 

“Fuck.”

“Jar,” you and Yoongi say simultaneously, grins breaking across your faces. “Both of you.”

3 year anniversary asks - closed.

[partyinthemysterymachine]

Harry + betrayed (looks at a&s au stuff like :3c)

looks at you like 🔪

===

Every time the mug came out of the steaming hot dishwasher, Harry clasped it in both hands. The ceramic was always scalding, and his palms always threatened to blister. Clouds reeking of dishwasher detergent lifted and swept over his forearm, humid as a summer’s stifling rain, its pungency sickening his heart. 

He hated to wash this mug. 

Bright and early at six o’clock every morning, Harry made coffee. It steeped dark and bitter, just how they liked it. The first pour went into his mug; the second filled his own. Then both were taken to the small, round table in the corner of their kitchen. Harry set the mug down on the wood itself to the right of the round, rattan woven placemats they’d found in a bargain bin at Williams-Sonoma. Harry’s coffee went on the placemat itself, edging the rim, at his left.

How charming it was to have their mugs across from each other like that. He always liked how they seemed to be having a conversation through the coffee’s dissipating flames of white steam. As they drained their caffeine and burned their throats, the heat shocking their stomachs, they’d talk. 

Talking didn’t necessarily mean words were used. No, words weren’t his forte, though he relished every sound that rolled off his tongue. He spoke with his face and through his hands, and if Harry ever had his way, he’d spend the hours morn to midnight simply gazing at his face.

Two hours later, Harry stood and took the cold, untouched mugs to the sink. Down the drain went the wasted coffee, dumped out at the same time. A swish of water from the faucet did a quick and fine job of cleaning them out, and Harry’s went, dripping, onto the counter. Then he ran the water again to piping hot, abusing skin rough and chapped from this daily ritual of cleaning, cleaning out his ice cold coffee, cleaning, cleaning out the dots of mold he’d let grow for two weeks because he couldn’t let that go, cleaning, cleaning out that damn spot, that damn spot, that damn spot.

The mug was as hot as it was when it came out of the dishwasher, and Harry clasped it in both hands. His teeth tried to send their roots into his skull with his jaw clamped like that, and he wished his tongue, sucked hard to the roof of his mouth and tastebuds rough as sandpaper, would swell and choke him. Every time it didn’t, which was every morning, every single morning for the past three years, Harry called it betrayal.

His kiss held tender on the warm rim. It was the last place his lips had laid where Harry could kiss him, for he couldn’t kiss his own cheek. Like every morning, his eyes slipped closed and he thought of their daily coffee date at their kitchen table. Autumn was in full golden, fiery bloom. People swarmed to Vermont to lose their breath to the vast garden of nature’s heavenly, untamed wildfire that never burned. 

Every single fucking morning it was autumn again, the mug had been scorching hot, then chilly, the phantom pressure of his kiss lingered on his cheek, and Harry tried to kiss him back too on ceramic that had been the last tangible thing to experience his lips.

Today, he set the mug down on the counter alongside the one in its puddle. The water brimmed its mismatched mate immediately and would leave an incomplete circle in its wake after Harry would take it up and wrap it in a soft towel. That puddle would dry on its lonesome over the course of as many minutes; Harry wrapped up his personal mug, too.

Remaining coffee got poured and locked in a thermos. They were placed in the coveted seat beside the driver’s - shotgun! one’s supposed to yell to reserve it for themselves - tucked safely behind a plain old box. 

The ignition chittered on. Rancid boomed and rattled the Jeep’s speakers. Harry absently wiggled the shiny, custom-made Magic Eight Ball fortune teller stick shift knob. He glanced down. ‘It is decidedly so,’ promised the triangular face washed behind blue, its text pressed on the circular window. 

A draw; and exhale. The YJ Wrangler shifted into gear, easing back out of the driveway, Harry’s arm slung around the shotgun seat and head turned to watch over his shoulder as he safely maneuvered to their personal gravel road leading to and from their remote, comfortable Vermont hideaway.

It’d probably take five, six hours, give or take, to get to Maine. He was looking forward to their coffee date. Five out of the seven days of the week Harry drove to Maine to hang out on the shore of Toluca Lake. Coffee was served into their mugs; he kept his at his side, and his tucked into the sand and mud at the water’s breach. 

Sometimes he’d talk, update his husband on his books, their daughter, the latest news that did and didn’t matter. Other times he’d sit in silence, listening and watching the new face of a man he loved. Harry was there in rain, sleet, and snow. He’d all but frozen his ass off before out there and sweated buckets in the heat. But they had their spot, and that’s where he’d always sit.

Silent Hill rested to the south. They took a vacation there once. Harry hates how it looks out across Toluca. Take your fucking eyes somewhere else, he regularly thinks. Don’t fucking look at him.

It oversees. One day, Harry’s promised five days out of the seven in the week, he’s going to tear that town asunder by his own bare hands. 

Tomorrow might be that day. Harry rises to his feet. It is decidedly so. He fetches the Jeep’s constant tenant for the last three years. It is decidedly so. 

“I hope you liked your coffee, honey,” he says to the lake lapping at his boots as he wades into snapping cold. “So, I asked the eight ball if I’d see you today,” Harry Mason offhandedly tells his husband residing in the lake. “Guess what it said? ‘It is decidedly so.’ Take that as you will. I know you know what I’ve planned to do, honeylove. Don’t get up in my tits about it,” warns the older man, now appropriately submerged mid-chest. “I’m not gonna do it today. Doesn’t feel right. But I thought it’d be nice to see you, anyway.”

“So you’re wondering why I brought the box in with me? Well, I’m glad you asked! For one, I fixed it up and made it waterproof,” he smirks, cradling it in his arm and popping it open. “And two.. c’mon, now. You know I’d lose these if I didn’t keep ‘em in here.”

Two pendants, no bigger than his thumbnail, each on their own thin chain, dangled just skimming the water’s surface. Two pendants, amber and glinting, somehow even in the thick grey mist rolling in from Silent Hill. “Check these out. I got ‘em made a few months ago and I’ve just now had the balls to bring ‘em out. It’s because the eight ball said I’d see you today. So.. here. One of them’s for you. I figure you can make yours glow in there, firefly. You have a knack for lightin’ up the dark.”

Harry chuckles, wagging his head back and forth, mocking himself. “Yeah, yeah, mushy, whatever, I’m a dork. Thbhtghbh. What’re you gonna do, divorce me? Shoulda thought about that before you went fishing, babe.” He collects the chains and their sculpted fireflies into his fist. One kiss is enough for both. Then he smiled, looked into the lake, and felt comforted by the thought that that sweet, pale man with yellow wheat field hair was watching him.

Projection is a very real, very psychedelic thing, for sometimes, Harry thinks he can see his face.

The water sways around his wrist. He gazes into Toluca Lake and waits, and hopes that the magic of the eight ball is true.

Will I get to see James today?

It is decidedly so.

If he were to do it all over again from the top, do you think he’d still do it this way?

It is decidedly so.

Does he know I love him?

It is decidedly so.

Does he know I’ll never forgive him?

It is decidedly so.

When the day comes, I’ll kill that motherfucker myself. I dunno how it’s gonna happen, but it’s gonna happen. Fucking asshole. He knows that, right?

….

.. right?

“I gotta go soon, babe,” Harry murmurs to his husband, James Mason (formerly Sunderland). “I’m gonna leave one with you. I’ll be back tomorrow. If you wanna trade, we can. Fuck, I don’t wanna get a fuckin’ yeast infection out here,” he gripes, turning to wade out of the lake. “Seriously, James. Not like a yeast infection wouldn’t stop me from comin’ out here but you bet your ass you’re gonna hear all fucking about it, because it will be your fault, and I fucking hate you, so goddamn fucking much, honeylove.”

Harry makes it out to the shore. He takes the box to its honored seat in shotgun! James’s coffee gets thrown into Toluca; he pours his out where he’d sat. Then the mason with rusted tools scans his exhausted, old, heavily lined eyes across the scenic lake where an orange (rare, so rare, extremely rare and mean everything) firefly swims. He’ll never get over the betrayal. It doesn’t matter if he understands it. It doesn’t matter that he’s (and he’s) been waiting for it long before they’d met. 

After all those thousands of years of looking for each other, this is how he chooses to betray him: like Judas, with a kiss.

A kiss on a ceramic mug that is going to be washed again today, and tomorrow morning, and will scald his hands.

A kiss, a kiss, a kiss from a man whose lips promised I love you with a simple brush. Lips Harry hasn’t felt in three years; his heart can break even more.

Will I ever get to kiss him again? Harry asks his stick shift as he drives towards his six (give or take) hour journey home to Vermont.

It is decidedly so, replies the eight ball.

Will it be soon? inquires a widowed man, widowed for the second time.

It is decidedly so, soothes the inky window.

When?

Turn right off this street, guides the knob too small to say so. Fifty miles out. It won’t take long.

Huh? I can barely see with all this fog. Where am I going?

To see James. 

James? What’s he doing all the way out here?

Waiting for you.

.. waiting for me? I’ll get to see him again?! Jeez.. damn, I’ve got a splitting headache all of a sudden .. fifty miles to Silent Hill.. hrm, seems farther than I remember, but.. 

He’s waiting for you.

.. forgot to clean up the coffee at home.. m’sure it’ll be fine.. Cheryl’ll be over at some point.. heh.. can’t believe he wants to spend our anniversary in Silent Hill.. fuckin’ weirdo.. a vow renewal? And he calls me disgusting..

He’s waiting.

I’m comin’. I’ll be there soon, James. It’s gonna be alright. I can’t wait to see you. We’re gonna have a great vacation, just the two of us, aren’t we, sweetheart?  

It is decidedly so.

[softlass27]

oh man, doing a bit of a rewatch for fic-writing purposes, and some clips have just reminded me why i fucking HATE the dingles as a family and their “blood and biology over everything” mentality.

(to be clear, i do mean the dingles as a family unit, not the characters themselves. i like/love some of them individually.)

so in 2016, lisa decides she wants to go back to using her maiden name after, y’know, the man she’s married to bloody cheated on her and they’re not together anymore (a perfectly reasonable and normal thing to do). and when the dingles find out, they freak out SO MUCH and call lisa to the pub URGENTLY, pretty much ambushing her and insisting that she CAN’T change her name because she’s one of them, she’s practically the matriarch of the family. 

lisa reassures them that her having a different last name doesn’t have to change anything, she still loves them all just them same. but no no no that’s not good enough, they just can’t bear it if she drops the name of the man who – let’s say it again – CHEATED ON HER AND BROKE HER HEART. their attitude is so dramatic... why would you ever want to leave this family?? how can you BETRAY US like this??? you can’t go lisa please we need you!!!  

so lisa – partially out of the goodness of her heart and partially because she’s quite touched – keeps the name, so as not to upset them. the moral of this little moment is that the dingles see lisa as their family no matter what.

whatever. personally if my cheating ex’s family tried to make me keep his name i’d tell them thanks but no thanks. but whatever. 

now skipping forward to 2018 and the drink spiking storyline. when lisa very nearly dies after being drugged by liv and she �� quite rightly – reports it to the police. and WOW DO THE DINGLES TURN ON HER. 

suddenly, she’s betrayed the family by not covering for one of their own. which is wild considering, y’know, liv isn’t even a dingle. but she is related to one, and we all know how those dingles feel about dna and blood. blood before everything else. when lisa – again, quite rightly – refuses to back down or give into the pressure, the dingles LITERALLY SAY THEY’LL KICK HER OUT OF THE FAMILY. chas is so mean to lisa, repeatedly shouting at her, bullying and threatening her in the nastiest way. it’s so gross to watch.

but wait... what happened to... “lisa you CAN’T change your name, nooo lisa we love you, we can’t cope without you!”

apparently, the decades that lisa has been part of that family, everything she’s done for them, all the care and kindness and mothering she’s given them... suddenly counts for fuck all. because she’s done something they don’t agree with, and she’s done it to someone who may have only been around for a couple of years, but who has a biological link to the family. if it had actually been gabby who’d spiked the drink, the dingles wouldn’t have cared in the slightest if lisa reported it. they’d probably encourage it, they’d be supporting her and they’d be calling gabby all sorts of horrible things. but liv is related to aaron, she’s his blood – and therefore she is untouchable.

lisa sums it up here: “it seems as far as everyone’s concerned, liv is the victim and i’m the villain.”

but as soon as lisa gives in and does what they want, ohhh suddenly all is forgiven, they love her again. chas is flitting around wishing well cottage admiring lisa’s new dishwasher as if nothing happened. as if she hadn’t been hurling abuse at her the day before.

i swear to god, everyone who marries into that family should unionise. because if marriage is your only link to them, if you’re not a biological dingle, their love is 100% conditional. it doesn’t matter what you do for them, how much loyalty you show or how many years go by... they will turn on you at the drop of a hat.

look at lisa. look at how after the nate/moira affair, moira was cast out but nate – being cain’s son – was accepted in. look at how mandy tried to force billy and ellis out of marlon’s house after jessie left, because they weren’t his “blood” and he needed his “real” family around him. don’t get me started on how they treated robert.

THE DINGLE FAMILY IS SO TOXIC I CANNOT STAND IT.

[you-guys--are-losers]

HI! For your kissing prompt list can you please do number 37 or 38 for Peter Parker x Michelle Jones. Thank you! ❤❤

//You got it! Thanks for the prompt! ;) We’re gonna start this morning off with some fluff. XD

37: Awkward teenage crush kiss

Lots to Learn

Summary: In the wake of a huge disappointment, Peter and MJ learn a few things about what it means to be there for each other. 

Characters: Peter Parker x Michelle Jones

Wordcount: 2,303

Warnings: Fluff, Disappointment, Cult References (As Always)

It’s been a good day for Peter since the beginning, even though it’s a hard one for her. 

Peter gets the text at 7:30 in the morning. He’s a morning person; even on a weekend, there’s no way he ever makes it past seven before he is awoken by his body. This is something MJ knows, and so his first instinct when he hears her text tone is to grin to himself. The second thought, which follows immediately after, is concern. 

She almost always stays up until 3 AM writing on the weekends… Why would she be texting him this early? As Peter fumbles for his phone where it lies on his cluttered desk, another text from MJ comes in. As soon as he sees the messages, his heart sinks. 

Hey. I didn’t get in. I’m fine. 

Then, two minutes later: 

I’m not. Come over

He was there in ten minutes.

At his insistence, the day since then has been a blur of MJ’s favorite things. Doing each other’s nails in dark colors while they watch Don’t Fuck With Cats in the dark of her room, something that they’ve been doing more and more since they returned from Europe. At first, MJ is mostly quiet, but by the time they’re half an hour in and Peter has finally finished painting her nails dark purple, there is the ghost of a smile on her face as she examines the bumpy polish. 

After that, it’s people-watching on a park bench with middle-eastern street food, placing bets on who is most likely to be a serial killer and making up outlandish backstories for the most normal-looking people. Then, Peter convinces May to let him take the car out so that they can drive to the Mysterious Book Store, MJ’s favorite spot. On the way there, they listen to MJ’s favorite conspiracy podcast (”Lizard People”); on the way back it’s MJ’s mix of music, which Peter is never opposed to, as they banter over who made the better purchase. Then, it’s back to her place, where Peter is currently in the process of cleaning up after their dinner mess. 

MJ is fiddling with her laptop, trying to illegally download the documentary she has been telling him about for weeks that he never got around to actually watching, when he finally breaches the topic. 

“So,” he mentions, his voice rising slightly in pitch as he sets the pan they used for stir fry in the dishwasher. “Are you… Y’know. Are you okay?” 

Even with her back to him, Peter can see MJ’s shoulders stiffen from the sofa. There is quiet between them for a minute as Peter puts their forks away, but it is not an uncomfortable one. It’s the kind of silence he’s grown accustomed to since he and MJ have started spending more time together: a pensive quiet. Sometimes, MJ needs a minute to put her thoughts together. Ever since she first expressed the need for it, Peter’s grown to appreciate it more and more. 

Right now, though, that appreciation is mingled with concern. 

After a second, MJ quietly exhales from on the sofa, turning her body slightly so that she is looking into the kitchen while he puts in the dish soap. The machine has started to whir softly before she finally answers, brown eyes watching him intently. 

“I mean, I’m disappointed. But I think I will be.” Her tone is quiet, measured. Still, Peter can hear the slight catch in her throat on the word ‘think,’ and his eyes met hers, holding her gaze. She quirks the corner of her lips up into a small, slightly sad smile, asking him not to mention it. He nods and lets out a breath, straightening up and heading to her little box of loose-leaf tea, which she has painted with dark foliage. 

Despite the heaviness to her gaze, a quiet, thankful gratitude sparks in those eyes as MJ follows the movement. “The middle finger mug. It’ll help me maturely manage my feelings.” 

Peter’s snort of amusement causes her little smile turn into a smirk, and her shoulders relax as he retrieves the mug and lightly scoops some of her lavender tea into it. No diffuser for her– MJ likes the texture of the wet leaves, something she has always insisted vehemently. However, Peter fills one of the tiny metal contraptions up with his cinnamon chai, and then sets his Ruth Bader-Ginsburg to steep on the counter beside the mug she requested, which is currently flipping the kitchen off. 

Peter rests his back against the counter, facing her in the quiet for a second. Her wicked smirk softens slightly as they take the moment to just look at one another across the warm light of her parents’ apartment, breathing each other in. She’s told him about how empty it feels here when her parents are gone for work (so all the time); since then, he’s made every effort to be here as often as he can. They’ve built a friendship here, learning each others’ rhythms and preferences. Sometimes, they’ve built a little more than that… Her head on his shoulder when she falls asleep to a move, her fingers tentatively stroking his hair when he collapses on the sofa beside her after a patrol night. 

Even now, in this moment of disappointment, they’re building something strong– stronger than rejection. 

“Maybe it’s good.” MJ speaks up, causing Peter to lurch out of his thoughts, out of the dark eyes he’s grown to love drowning in. 

“Huh?” 

“Berkeley,” Michelle hums, amused as she shoots him another smirk. “I mean… It’s California. Far. Bard is closer.” 

“Right, totally,” Peter says quickly to show he’s paying attention. “Besides, you know, California people… Lots of, uh, social media influencers and stuff.” He’s really just citing his stereotypical knowledge of the West Coast, but MJ seems to appreciate the effort. 

“Yeah. A ton of people pretending that everything is perfect,” MJ agrees. “I’d probably suffocate. And really hot, too.”

“But you’re always cold,” Peter finds himself saying, bemused.

MJ shoots him a look, but she seems to find the comment funny. “Not helping, Peter. Come on, at least try to slander this place with me.” 

“Right, sorry.” Peter can’t help his grin as she turns back to her laptop, responding to the ‘ping’ of its tinny speakers telling her that her piracy is complete. “Well, slander sounds good to me… With our drinks, of course. Wait, we could spill tea both literally and metaphorically.” 

“Peter…” 

Peter grins as he picks up the cups, back to her once more as he tries to balance the heated mugs so that they will neither spill nor burn his hands off. “Sorry, sorry. I know terrible puns won’t help right now. Though, I don’t really know if they would help ever-” 

“Peter.” 

There is something in her voice, which has gone deathly quiet, that causes Peter to turn a little too fast. He winces as the cinnamon-scented tears of Satan splash onto his skin, but as he quickly sets down the mug his eyes do not leave the back of her head, which is frozen above stiffened shoulders. 

“MJ, are you…” 

“Peter, I got in.” 

There is a moment of silence, and the only sound is the dripping of the tea that Peter spilled slipping over the lid of the counter-top. Peter is frozen for a moment, eyes wide as he looks to where she is sitting. After a moment, he finds his voice. 

“But, I thought-” 

“There was a mistake with my email,” MJ says, turning to face him. Her eyes are wide, and though she is clearly trying to stay calm, the speed of her tone and the smile that bursts through no matter what betray her emotions. 

“They got me mixed up with another Michelle Jones. Apparently it’s a common name, but I think it’s more likely the government was trying to suppress my voice by restricting my access to higher education-” 

“MJ.” This time it’s Peter’s turn to interrupt, a grin edging across his lips as his eyes take in her dancing eyes. “You got in.” 

A laugh bubbles from Michelle’s throat, wild and incredulous and something that sounds like a dream. “I got in.” She says the words once, testing them out on her lips, and apparently liking the way they feel. “I got in!” 

“You got in.” 

In an instant, she is tripping over herself to get off her sofa, and Peter is racing across the kitchen to meet her in the hug that she initiates. Her arms wrap around his neck as his circle her upper back, holding her tight as she laughs. For a moment, he holds her close his eyes squeezing shut as she wraps her arms tighter around her neck. 

After a few heartbeats of pure elation, Peter pulls back just slightly. MJ does the same, her eyes holding pure light in the dim glow of her living room lamp, and her arms do not leave his neck. The two stand together in the embrace, and suddenly Peter feels his heartbeat increase as he comes to a realization. 

He… Wants to kiss her. 

Peter bites his lip, catching his breath, and MJ’s eyes flicker down to his mouth before returning to his own. There is something more than just excitement now… A tentative, uncertain glimmer of something deeper, and understanding. 

The two of them haven’t kissed since returning from Europe. They’ve held hands, they’ve sat next to each other and given little touches and even snuggled a bit closer for warmth. But they’ve been taking it slow; MJ doesn’t like labels, and Peter’s happy to just explore what they are and save the kiss they’ve already shared for the moments when he feels like he can’t keep going. 

But now, he can’t seem to suppress the urges he is feeling: to bring a hand to her cheek, to brush the few wisps of hair that have fallen into her eyes away using a gentle touch. And, based on the way her hands come to rest, brushing the base of his neck, he thinks that she just might feel the same. 

“I’m happy for you,” he whispers, trying not to think about the lack of distance between them. 

“Y-yeah,” MJ breathes, lips slightly parted as she looks down at him. “You know, Scientology first started in Southern California, and the Manson Murders were in L.A. So if I get any offers to join a cult, I’ll totally make sure that they’re willing to recruit you.” 

Peter laughs softly, but his eyes don’t leave hers. Lightly, her fingers relax at the nape of his neck, cradling it gently. He catches his breath as her thumb carefully strokes the skin there, and he can tell she notices by the way she holds her own breathing. 

“MJ… Can I kiss you?” 

There is a moment of quiet between them as her finger stops caressing the back of his neck and she stares inscrutably into his eyes. Peter blinks several times, cheeks warming. 

“I mean, it’s okay if-if not. I’m happy for you either way, and I just… I’m crazy proud of you, even though they’d be stupid not to accept you really, and I-” 

Her lips come down to meet his before he can dig himself into a deeper hole. 

It’s their first kiss since the bridge in England, and as his eyes flutter closed Peter is worried that maybe he’s doing it wrong. At first, it’s not quite the right angle– she’s taller, for one, and it takes a second to bring their lips together so that they fit against one another. 

The kiss is hesitant, gentle… Experimental. Peter knows Michelle, and he knows that it takes her a moment to get comfortable in new experiences. This is new for him, too, so it’s good to take it slow. Her mouth is soft against his own, careful, and at first it’s just a gentle brushing of their lips. 

Then she kisses him again, and this time it’s more insistent. They’ve started to figure it out: where their noses need to go, how to hold themselves. One of her hands gently moves up the back of his neck, gently sliding her fingers into his curls. The other comes to cradle his cheek as his own hands lightly tug her upper back closer, offering support. 

It’s perfect. It’s new and it’s a kiss of growing, of learning each others’ angles and contours and keeping them in mind. It’s the lemon-flavored Italian soda they had with dinner, it’s MJ’s beeswax lip balm, it’s the feeling of his hoodie swallowing her slim shoulders beneath his fingers. It’s the quiet of her apartment and the soft hum of appreciation that travels from her lips to his before they gently part, foreheads resting together to take a breath. 

Peter keeps his eyes closed for a moment, and when they flutter open they find her deep, dark irises peering into his curiously. There’s a shy grin on her lips, but though both are a bit bashful, she’s not hiding. 

She’s letting him look, letting him see her in a way that no one else gets to. For all of her walls and her mystery, MJ is inviting Peter to read her story and to stand by her side as she writes it. 

She’s sharing one of the biggest moments of her life with him, and Peter has never been so grateful. 

When Peter closes the distance between them once more, her raspy laugh against his lips tastes like home. In the warmth of her apartment, free of pressure and labels and prying eyes, Peter is happy to prompt many more soft laughs, to explore the place he has found at her side for as long as she’ll let him. 

Taglist: @eniemeanie @inlovewithtoomanythings @booksarelife-stuff @AlexanderThyGreat @flawless-tlc @heynowitsafangirl @but-saving-what-we-love @haurasha @friendly-spoodermin @lundya366 @nicolewithasoul @1am9root @spiderkaren

[mtvswatches]

Wynonna Earp 3x06 If We Make It Through December

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Stray thoughts

1) This episode is starting way too merry and jolly to end up well, isn’t it?

2) I wish there was a shot of Wynonna saying “well, that’s not canon” because wouldn’t that be an A+ meme? Especially because what’s canon in this scene is the Menstru-Angel!

3) One of the boys is chasing after Santa, and are we gonna get a Santa demon? Because I’m here for it! Oh fuck, it’s just fucking Bulshar.

I’m still... not scared of Bulshar? Like, we keep being told how he’s the Big Bad but for the most part, he hasn’t done anything truly horrifying yet. And he doesn’t look menacing either. He’s this old chap with a questionable fashion style, is all. 

4) Wynonna feels weird about their mom being back home and living with them as if she’d never left, while Waverly is excited at the prospect of spending some mother-daughter time with her. I’m with Wynonna on this one. It still feels weird.

5) Um… so, Wynonna finally tells Waverly that her dad was an actual angel, and Waverly is properly freaked out, and has to force her origin story out of her mom. But… Mama Earp just tells her a story a la The Notebook without zeroing in on the fact that this Julian guy was a freaking angel. Why is she not explaining that tidbit of information?

6) OMG I died…

7) This is the sweetest bromance ever? I loved everything about this scene! Doc telling Jeremy he should get on with some gentleman, Jeremy being offended at the suggestion he can’t pass the Bechdel test, Doc being totally clueless about all the cultural references, and the hug at the end? Ugh, they’re the cutest!

8) What type of Santa Workshop of Hell is this?

It seems like at least a dozen people or so have been kidnapped and everyone is chilling and celebrating Christmas? Priorities, I guess?

9) Oh, okay, people are freaking out. And Nedley is in shock. And Wynonna is making googly eyes at this Charlie guy in the crime scene of a missing kid. At least he saved her, which earns him a couple of points.

10) Do you think Purgatory’s first families made some type of pact with Bulshar to give up their descendants or something? I mean, there must be a reason why people belonging to these families are going missing.

11) And Waverly is paying a visit to Bobo. I’m very excited about this, I’ve always enjoyed their interactions so much.

12) OMFG, Doc had no idea that his wife had always been a vampire?? This show is the best sitcom EVER.

13) So… is Waverly really an angel? Or is Bobo calling her an angel because of his belief that a woman called Waverly saved him all that time ago and told him to protect her when they met again?

14) Ay ay ay, these two break my heart every single time!

DOC: It is bad luck to refuse a kiss underneath the mistletoe. WYNONNA: Are you waiting for one or are you offering? DOC: The offer is always there. WYNONNA: Maybe you should stick to kissing your wife. DOC: I have not been with her in a century. WYNONNA: Oh, so your knife was at her place because your dishwasher was broken? It is not my jam to be the other woman. DOC: Dammit, Wynonna, you are not the other woman. You're... another woman. WYNONNA: What does that mean? DOC: It means, she was my wife. And now you're... someone I've shared something even greater with. More than just romance. We had a baby...

DOC: Isn't it time that we stopped being scared and starting being honest with one another? WYNONNA: Honestly? I don't know what to do with you. DOC: You could admit that you love me. WYNONNA: Let's just get back to work.

Yes, yes, YES, I’m a sucker for this type of relationships. He’s always wearing his heart on his sleeve and laying it all out for her, and she’s so afraid of giving herself to someone that she can’t admit she does love him. I just hope nothing happens to Doc before she gets the chance to be honest with him…

15) Nedley is having a hard time coming to terms with his responsibility in this kid’s disappearance (although it’s obvious he couldn’t have done anything to stop it.) He’s questioning his role as a sheriff, and I know this is all leading up to Nicole taking over. He’s mentioned several times he’s tired, and the idea of passing the torch to Nicole has been festering for a while. I guess if this kid dies, that will be the last drop for Nedley.

16) What is Bulshar doing with these people?

17) So, Bulshar is offing the first families’ descendants because their ancestors betrayed him and turned him in to Ward. And… how mean is it if I’d rather little Tim died instead of Jeremy’s boy toy? Oops.

18) Okay, Charlie dude wasn’t as clueless as he seemed to be, which is always appreciated. But Doc should’ve been the one by Wynonna’s side when they broke into Bulshar’s Little Workshop, kicking ass and calling names.

19)  Awww, that was sweet!

And little Tim didn’t have to die, go figure.

20) This is not a surprise, of course.

21) No no no, Doc left in the middle of Christmas dinner and Wynonna was about to go after him but her mom told her to stay, will these two ever be on the same page? Ever?!

22) That was a nice gesture…

But I’m still not on board with the Mama Earp train. 

23) There it is.

That’s the meat of the matter, and it’s nice to know Wynonna at least can admit it to herself, and to her mom. She thinks she’s broken and she thinks she doesn’t deserve good things, love, happiness, whatever version of a happy ending one could get at Purgatory. I just hope when she makes up her mind, the writers don’t find some contrived plot to keep her and Doc apart.

24) Ugh.

I guess Wynonna can get in the middle of her own happiness all by herself. I’ve got nothing against Charlie, I’ve liked what I’ve seen of him so far. But I can’t see him as anything but a distraction since that’s exactly what Wynonna is going for.

25) Oh, damn, Mama Earp, you’ve no idea what you’ve done.

26) Waverly is every lesbian’s wet dream, isn’t she?

27) Um… Nope?

Nonononono

Fuck this. Why couldn’t Wynonna be honest with him? He heard the words he needed to hear from her, but it was Kate saying them. And it was so obvious she was playing him like a fiddle. He knew it, too, and I guess it was an easy choice. But what will this mean for him? What will be the rammifications of this choice? Doc Holliday, a vampire? I don’t know if l like the sound of that. I guess I’ll have to wait and see how this plays out.

28) A fun episode that advanced a lot of the season’s arc a bit, and I can’t wait where this season takes us! I still need answers about Waverly! 

29)  Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!