#or even him and dream sharing a bed in cancelled when he denied other things we have pics of him kissing them we literally saw him

[tinogiehd]

girl shut the fuck up nobody is outing the guy who’s been extraordinarily open about liking men 😭😭 like george is dropping hints sorru for picking them up

[oh-ranpo]

best day ever checklist.

Pairing: Owen Joyner x reader
word count: 7.6k+
an: I originally posted this on a different blog but I’m moving it here! for the sake of this, pretend he’s living in LA again lmao other than that, this is just pure cuteness that I dreamed up : ) let me know what you think!

You really should have known better. Falling in love with your best friend was a disaster waiting to happen. It was the storyline to so many romantic comedies, but honestly, in the real world, things didn’t quite work out the way they did in the movies. Sure, it was a nice thought, but experience had told you that it wasn’t real. It was like fairytales and pixie dust. Things like that just didn’t exist.

So, why would you do this to yourself? It wasn’t like you had done it on purpose, but it wasn’t like you tried to stop it either. The way you fell for him stemmed from a culmination of things. From laughing at his jokes, to laying your head in his lap while you watched movies. From late night drives around the city, to pulling pranks on your grouchy old neighbors that undoubtedly hated your guts. You and Owen were two peas in a pod, and you enjoyed his company more than anything else. However, you couldn’t have him in the way you wanted, and that point was made glaringly obvious when you saw the shared post on his Instagram story that morning.

She was pretty, you couldn’t deny that. Lush blonde hair, perfect eyebrows, and a bright smile almost as captivating as the boy in the picture with her. Almost. You couldn’t stop staring and your stomach wouldn’t stop rolling as you tried to place where you had seen her before. She didn’t look familiar, but if Owen was posting pictures with her, you had to have met her before. Unless he had been hiding her from you. But that was so very un-Owen-like that you knew that wasn’t the case. Her name on her Instagram handle didn’t ring any bells so maybe you had purposely blocked her existence out of your mind because you didn’t want to feel like you did right now. A whole lot of good that did you.

You eventually shoved your phone as far away from you as you could as you laid your head back down on your pillow in defeat. You hated this. You knew that you shouldn’t allow yourself to feel this much sadness over something that really had nothing to do with you, but you couldn’t help it. Your heart ached as you thought about the part of him that this new girl was getting to have, and you pushed your face deeper into the pillow as you let out a low groan.

After a few minutes of wallowing, you finally pulled yourself from your bed and started getting ready for the day. You originally had plans to hang out with Owen and some of his friends, but now you were wondering if that was such a good idea. Would she be there? Would you have to pretend that you were happy all day while you watched the two of them fawn all over each other? It sounded like a terrible idea, but you also knew, deep down, that you couldn’t cancel. You couldn’t let your best friend down just because you had caught feelings. No, you were better than that.

You were just finishing up with your hair when you heard Owen’s ringtone sound from the other room. You had forgotten your phone on your bed, and you hurried back to your bedroom to grab it, swiping accept on his call on the fourth ring.

“Hello?”

“Open your door, I’m outside,” Owen ordered, though you could hear the smile in his voice. You rolled your eyes, though he couldn’t see it, and turned to make your way to the front door.

“Do you have breakfast?” you asked, and Owen scoffed on the other end of the line.

“I know better than to show up at YN YLN’s house in the morning empty-handed,” he replied, and a bright smile spread across your lips as you lifted your hand to release the lock on your door, your hand then falling to the knob to pull it open.

As soon as your eyes met his, he lowered his phone from his ear and held out the brown bag in his other hand.

“For you,” he smiled, and your heart jumped in your chest. You happily took the bag from his hand and then stepped to the side so that he could enter your apartment.

He wasn’t wearing anything extravagant, but he still had a way of stealing your attention with the simplest of outfits. Today, it was a plain white crewneck sweatshirt, a pair of black jeans, and his favorite black baseball cap sitting backwards on his head covering up his soft blonde hair. It had gotten longer recently, and he had yet to cut it, which personally, you were grateful for.

You sighed happily as you peaked into the bag before shutting your front door, seeing that he remembered to get your favorite breakfast sandwich as well as an extra serving of hash browns. You turned to thank him, only to see that he had already made his way to the kitchen, and you quickly followed behind him.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” you asked, as he took a seat on one of the barstools at your counter. He looked up at you as he shrugged, his elbows leaning against the edge of the countertop.

“I figured we’d just hang out. You know, the usual,” he replied, and your brow furrowed slightly.

“I thought we were meeting with your friends?” you asked, and almost immediately, Owen’s cheeks turned pink.

“O-oh right. Yeah, they cancelled. Said they couldn’t come. But it’s alright that it’s just the two of us… right?” He sounded a little panicked, which was completely unlike him, as you quirked your head curiously.

“Of course, it is. Why wouldn’t it be?” Owen sat up a bit straighter as he shrugged again, but he didn’t say anything more.

Instead of focusing on his weirdness, you went back to unwrapping the breakfast that he had brought for you, and you moved to take the seat next to him after grabbing a glass of water. You hummed happily as you took the first bite, and when Owen looked over at you, you gave him a tight-lipped smile. He just laughed and shook his head in response.

If you were being honest, you had already forgotten about the Instagram photo. You had forgotten all about the pretty blonde girl and who she could be, because right now, it was just you and Owen. It didn’t matter if there were other people around, and a lot of the time, you liked it better this way. It was like this so often, it was second-nature at this point. It was easy.

“Actually, I was thinking that we could go for a drive,” Owen spoke as he noticed that you were almost finished with your breakfast. You nodded eagerly, excited for a day of just listening to music and driving around the city, one of your favorite ways to spend time with your best friend. In the confines of his car, it was easier to pretend like the two of you were the only ones in the world, and you didn’t have to share his attention with anyone else.

As this thought passed through your mind, you realized just how selfish that was, but you also couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

Once you were completely finished, you threw your trash away and then moved back towards your front door to grab your shoes. Owen was quick to follow you as he grabbed your keys from the table just inside the door, and you smiled gratefully at him when he handed them to you.

The two of you talked a bit as you made your way down to his car, and you were a little surprised to see some bags sitting in his backseat.

“What’s all of that?” you asked, as you pulled open the passenger’s side door and climbed into your seat. Your head turned to look over your shoulder to see what the bags could contain, but Owen had used double bags and even tied the top of them together so that you couldn’t see inside.

“Don’t worry about those,” he murmured, and when you looked over at him questioningly, he avoided your gaze. For a moment, he was back to acting weird, and you still hadn’t figured out why.

“Ooookay,” you replied dramatically before resting against the back of the seat, your eyes peering outwards across the hood of the car. You could feel that Owen was hiding something from you, and you had no good guesses as to what it could be.

But then you remembered his Instagram story.

You tried to pretend like you were just quietly looking out the window, but when Owen started to pull out of the parking lot to your complex, he noticed your sudden silence.

“Are you alright?” he asked, his gazing fixing on you for a minute before pulling out onto the main street. “You’ve been weirdly quiet this morning.”

You should have known that Owen would notice. Owen noticed pretty much everything when it came to you. Well, aside from you being hopelessly in love with him, anyways. While you thought he was acting strange, he was thinking the same thing about you. The irony almost made you laugh.

“And you keep dodging my questions,” you retorted sassily, and you saw his face flush once again. This was not the drive that you had been expecting or hoping for, and you couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed as you turned back to stare out the window. The music that was playing through the stereo of Owen’s car was the only sound that could be heard as a heavy silence fell over the two of you.

“I swear the bags will make sense later,” Owen offered a few minutes later, finally breaking the tension that had filled the air. It wasn’t like the two of you to argue, and you knew that if you hadn’t seen his story earlier that day, you wouldn’t be reacting to his passive response in this way.

You looked over at him, and when he felt your eyes on him, he glanced over again as he flashed you a small smile.

“I promise.”

You knew that you were being silly getting so worked up over it all, and you took a deep breath as you were ready to expel it away. You didn’t want your day to be ruined just because you couldn’t contain your feelings, and with one last shake of your head in attempt to loosen the grip of the thought from your mind, you smiled back at your best friend.

“I’m sorry, you don’t… you don’t have to explain it,” you sighed, and Owen glanced over at you again as he came to a stop at a red light.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, seemingly sensing that there was something else that you weren’t saying. If you weren’t upset with him about his avoidance of wanting to talk about the materials in the back of the car, he wasn’t sure what could have been causing your rapid shift in mood.

“No,” you answered quickly, maybe a little too quickly, before reaching for the volume control of the radio. “Besides, this is my favorite song. I can’t feel bad during my favorite song.” Owen didn’t miss the way that you admitted to feeling bad in the first place, but he knew that this was indeed your favorite song, and he wasn’t about to ruin it for you.

The two of you sang together for a little while, and by the end of the fifth song, you had caught on to the direction that he was driving. At first, you thought that he had just been aimlessly driving through the streets of L.A., but then you realized that he was indeed heading in a particular direction.

“Are we going to the beach?” you asked excitedly, turning the radio volume down once again just as Owen was in the middle of belting out the bridge to the song that was playing.

“Excuse me, you threw off my rhythm,” he huffed playfully, and you rolled your eyes.

“You didn’t tell me we were going to the beach! I didn’t bring anything with me!” you cried indignantly, though you weren’t really that upset. The beach was your favorite place, and despite whether you were dressed appropriately or not, you knew that you were going to have a good time.

“If I told you it would ruin the surprise,” he murmured under his breath, and when you asked him to repeat himself, he just shook his head. It was just another strange behavior from him to add to the day, but now you were too happy about your ending destination to even think about being upset.

You fell into a comfortable silence as you tapped your feet to the rhythm of the songs on the radio, your eyes watching as the familiar scenery leading up to your favorite place passed by outside of the car window. Owen didn’t seem to feel the need to fill the silence, but that wasn’t uncommon either. You were so comfortable with one another, you didn’t have to be talking the entire time to enjoy the time you spent together.

About fifteen minutes later, Owen was pulling into a parking spot, and you were just about to jump out when he reached over to stop you.

“I need you to stay in the car,” he said as his bright blue eyes met yours. Confusion washed over you as your hand that had just reached for the door handle fell back into your lap.

“But… why?” you asked, as you searched his face for any kind of expression giveaways that you might find there. You were sure, once again, that he was hiding something from you, but you didn’t really know how to feel about it.

“Just trust me, please? I just… you have to promise that you won’t leave this car until I come back for you.” His words were earnest, and you could see the pleading in his expression as he spoke them. He looked nervous for a guy that was just hanging out with his best friend, and you were dying to know why.

“Owen, what-“ you started, but his hand gently squeezed your arm, and the rest of your words died on your lips.

“Promise me.”

You felt your heart sink to your stomach as you tried to put two-and-two together. He had brought you to the beach but hadn’t even given you a heads up about it so that you could prepare. Were you actually going to be staying at the beach or was this just the first stop of the day? And why didn’t he want you to get out with him? Was he meeting someone else here? Was he meeting her?

Regardless of how nauseous the thought made you, you knew that you had to do as he asked. No matter what, he was still your best friend and you trusted him until he gave you a logical reason not to. So, instead of protesting more, you slowly nodded, and Owen flashed you a smile before quickly turning away to open his own car door. You watched as he stepped towards the backseat, and then pulled its door open so that he could grab one of the bags. There were three of them, and you were a bit surprised that he only took one, but then again, you had no idea what they were for anyways. Maybe he was making deliveries.

He moved quickly as he shut the backdoor and then hurried in the direction of the beach. He disappeared around the corner of one of the buildings that housed bathrooms and outdoor showers so that you could no longer see what he was doing. Somehow, this made the sinking feeling in your chest even worse.

You tried to push away the thoughts of the pretty blonde girl, but you couldn’t help it. While you waited, you pulled out your phone, and while you knew that you shouldn’t, you pulled up Owen’s Instagram story again. The picture was still there, and you let out a heavy sigh as you clicked on the picture to take you to her profile. If you were going to hurt yourself, you figured that you might as well go all the way.

Your breath caught in your throat when you saw that the picture in Owen’s story was the most recent picture she had posted. You clicked on the picture to see the caption, and you were a little disappointed to see that it was just a simple sun emoji. There was no giveaway to what kind of relationship they had, and as far as you could tell, it was the only picture she had of the two of them together. So, what were they?

By the time you closed the app, there was a sizable pit that had formed in your stomach and you leaned your head back against the headrest of the passenger’s seat. It had been about ten minutes now since Owen had disappeared and you were starting to grow concerned on when he might return. The longer he was gone, the more your doubts started to build. He had said when he was in your apartment that it was just going to be the two of you, so what was taking so long?

It was another ten minutes before you saw him round the corner again, heading back in your direction. He had his hands shoved in his pockets, and his eyes were focused on the ground in front of him. Your heart stuttered in your chest, much like it always did when you saw him, and when he lifted his gaze to meet yours through the windshield of his car, butterflies erupted in your stomach. He stuck his tongue out at you teasingly, and much to your surprise, instead of walking over to his side of the car, he came to a stop outside of your door before pulling it open.

“Let’s go.” It wasn’t a question, and while you had previously convinced yourself that this wasn’t a stop you were meant to get out at, you jumped at the opportunity. You quickly unbuckled your seatbelt, and Owen held out his hand for you to take as he helped you to your feet.

“Seriously, what is going on?” you asked as Owen dropped your hand and closed the car door behind you. There was an odd look on his face now, though he was trying to hide it with a smile.

“I’m going to show you, calm down,” he teased, as he shoved his hands back into his pockets and led you in the direction that he had just come from. You bumped his shoulder as you walked, and he pulled his hand out of his pocket so that he could wrap his arm around you, pulling you into his side. He ruffled your hair slightly, causing you to protest through a fit of giggles, but you didn’t move to pull away. Once again, you had your easy-going best friend back in a position that was so common it was second-nature.

You were so caught up in the sudden playfulness, that you almost didn’t see the set up in front of you. You didn’t see the white volleyball sitting next to one of the beach’s sand volleyball courts, and you didn’t see the basket with a small blanket laid out underneath. It wasn’t until Owen pulled you to a stop and finally dropped his arm back to his side, that you seemed to notice what was going on outside of him.

“What… what is this?” you asked, as you looked from the little set-up and then back to your best friend. He was rubbing the back of his neck nervously, but then gestured towards the paper that was sitting on the small blanket- something that you hadn’t noticed was there just a moment ago.

“If you read that, it might explain it.”

You didn’t completely understand why he couldn’t just tell you, but you were curious enough that you did what he said. When you leaned down next to the basket, you saw two of yours and Owen’s favorite sports drinks and a change of clothes for you. You looked up at him briefly, but he nodded for you to read the letter, and you sighed as you picked up the piece of paper.

Welcome to the best day ever! It read. The first stop on our adventure today is partaking in one of our favorite beach activities: volleyball! While this is stop number one, there will be a total of three stops that will take place throughout the day. If at any point you want to stop and go home… well too bad! Ha, just kidding : ) but seriously… change into the volleyball clothes I brought and prepare yourself for a wild and crazy day.

You didn’t understand. You had no idea why he was doing this. It wasn’t your birthday and you were sure that it wasn’t any kind of special day regarding your friendship. When you looked up at him again, he had slipped off his hat so that he could remove his crewneck to show that he was wearing a tank top underneath it. You swallowed hard as you tried your hardest to keep your gaze fixed above his neck, and when he looked back at you, you raised the paper questioningly.

“This doesn’t explain anything,” you said, and Owen laughed as he leaned down next to you.

“Sure it does. It tells you exactly what we’re doing, and what you need to do. So, take those clothes, head over to those bathrooms over there, and let’s get this day started!”

You gave him another pointed look before looking down at the clothes that he was talking about. They definitely weren’t yours, and for a second, your heart stopped. Did these belong to the other girl? Surely he wasn’t crazy enough to borrow something from her for you to wear… would he? He could be kind of clueless sometimes, and if you really thought about it, you might have believed it. But then, you went to pick them up and saw that they still had tags on them, and you knew that they had been recently purchased.

“How did you know my size?” You asked, as you looked over the tank top and the shorts. You were going to poke fun at him over the fact that the tank top said ‘Julie and the Phantoms’ across the front of it, but you had bigger questions that you needed answers to in that moment.

“You’ve been my best friend forever, YN. You think I haven’t caught on to something like that?” He teased, and you rolled your eyes. Then, another thought occurred to you.

“Not all of this stuff should have fit in that bag from earlier. How… how did you get this stuff here?” Your eyes met Owen’s, and there was a soft look in his eye despite another faint blush flowing across his cheeks.

“You sure ask a lot of questions when I’m just trying to do something nice for you. Could you just go change so that I can beat you at volleyball like I always do?” You scoffed this time as you grabbed the new outfit and rose to your feet.

“You wish, Joyner,” you huffed, and Owen laughed as you turned to head to the nearest bathroom building. You weren’t overly fond of the idea of changing in a public bathroom like this one, but you were also eager to get back to him, so you didn’t waste any more time.

The clothes fit perfectly, and as soon as you stepped back out onto the beach, your mind started working itself into overdrive again. Owen had arranged ‘the best day ever’ for you, and you still had no idea why. By all accounts, you felt like you weren’t the person this should have been meant for, considering the social media post in the past 24 hours. You had no idea what was going on, and you wanted to ask him about it, but he seemed prepared to derail the conversation at a moment’s notice and you weren’t sure that you would get the answer you were looking for.

When you returned to him, he was sitting on the edge of the blanket, his phone in his hand as he looked up at you. A bright smile spread across his lips as you threw your previous outfit on the blanket next to the basket, and you bent over to grab the volleyball.

“Well, shall we battle?” You asked, a teasing lilt in your voice as Owen pulled himself to his feet.

“You’re on, YLN.”

You ended up winning 21 to 16, much to Owen’s disappointment. Or, at least you assumed he was disappointed though he never truly showed it. You knew that he was competitive, but he didn’t seem bitter in the slightest, though you made it no secret that you were happy that you had won.

“Man, if this day is filled with more activities that I can kick your butt at, this really will be the best day ever,” you laughed as you made your way back to the blanket, and when you glanced over at him, Owen rolled his eyes.

“The sun… was distracting me,” he replied weakly, and you playfully shoved his shoulder.

“Just admit it, I beat you, fair and square.”

“I would never do such a thing.”

You reached down to grab the drinks that Owen had brought out of the small basket, and handed the one that you knew he had picked out for himself before twisting the cap off of yours.

“Thanks for this, by the way. My favorite flavor and everything,” you grinned just before taking a long drink. The California sun had been beating down on your for the past hour or so, and you were parched.

“I know it is,” Owen replied gently before taking a drink of his own. It was the little comments like that that were throwing you off because he wasn’t saying them loud enough for you to think that you were meant to hear them, but he also didn’t say them quiet enough that you couldn’t make out the words. For now, you decided to ignore them in hopes that maybe something in the next two stops would help you understand.

“So, where are we off to next?” You asked, as Owen flopped down onto the blanket and you settled yourself down next to him. He looked over at you, his baseball cap now sitting next to him as he carded his fingers through his hair.

“You really don’t want any of this to be a surprise, do you?” He asked, a smile in his voice as you shrugged before taking another sip of your drink.

“I just know you aren’t good at keeping secrets, and I don’t like not knowing what’s going on in that head of yours,” you replied honestly, and you watched as another unknown look crossed his face. He was quiet for a minute, but then he turned his eyes to look back out over the sand.

“Well, whenever you get changed, if you want to, we can head out.”

Your heart jumped in your chest as you reached over to grab the clothes that you had been wearing when you arrived, and you ran back over to the changing rooms. You glanced over your shoulder as you walked, and you just about stumbled over yourself when you saw that Owen had slipped off his tank top and was just sitting on the blanket, shirtless, with his crewneck in his hands. He was looking at something in his lap, you assumed his phone, and you had to tear your gaze away from him before he caught you looking.

You really had to pull yourself together.

You changed a little bit slower this time, and you didn’t allow your thoughts to drift. This day was confusing enough, and you had overthought everything to the point that none of it made any sense. Maybe it was simple. This was just a nice day that your best friend had planned for you. He wanted to make you smile, that was it.

By the time you returned back to his side, Owen had already cleaned everything up, and had it stuffed back in the two bags that he had previously had wrapped inside of each other.

“You ready?” He asked with another bright smile, and you nodded as you followed him back to the car. It was a short trip to the beach, but it was a nice one, and you made sure to thank him as you were walking.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he replied as he glanced over at you. “It’s just something that I wanted to do.” You wanted to ask him why but once again, you refrained, and just climbed into the passenger’s seat of his car with a soft smile on your face.

Your next stop turned out to be a nice lunch at your favorite restaurant. It had been ages since you had come here, especially with Owen, and you could feel the excitement rising inside you. You had been craving it for weeks, and you were sure the only reason he had brought you here was because he had gotten sick of hearing you complain about how much you missed it.

“Before we go in,” Owen started, his hand reaching out to stop you again as you reached for the handle of the car door. Like at the beach, you looked back over at him, but he was already digging into the backseat for one of the other bags. When he finally came back to the front of the car, he handed you the bag, but started pulling some of the contents out of it.

“Owen, what are we-“ Before you could even finish the sentence, Alex was swiping his baseball cap off his head and quickly replacing it with a black top hat that he had pulled out of the bag. It was soon followed by a monocle, and he also produced the red silk that you knew was one of his bowties.

You had already started laughing, but when you saw the rest of the contents of the bag, you really couldn’t stop. There was a big, black floppy hat, a pair of oversized sunglasses, and a bright red dress that you had never seen before.

“So, you’re going to have to somehow sneak this in so you can change in the bathroom but… fancy lunch date, anyone?” Alex asked, his voice light as you finally managed to look back up at him. There were tears building in your eyes over how much you were laughing, and you couldn’t help but think that he was the most ridiculous person that you had ever met. And you were lucky enough to call him your best friend.

“You’re a crazy person,” you giggled, and Owen shrugged as he turned to flip down his rearview mirror so that he could work his bow tie. “Why didn’t you just have me put this one at the beach?” The question caused him to freeze, and you knew immediately that he hadn’t thought of that.

“It’s more fun this way,” he reasoned, and you rolled your eyes as you wrapped your hand tightly around the handles of the bag and then reached for the car door once again.

“I’ll meet you in there then?” You asked, and Owen nodded, his attention focused on the task at hand.

You felt a little nervous as you walked inside and moved past the host to head to the bathroom. When you came out, you weren’t going to look like the same person at all, and you found yourself wishing more and more that Owen had asked you to do this before you left the beach. Then again, the embarrassment was half the fun and you knew that was why he had planned this.

After doing something competitive, he wanted to do something silly. It was part of the great balance of your friendship, and you appreciated the change of pace. You loved the way your heart was pounding when you stepped back out of the bathroom, now completely unrecognizable to anyone but the person you came with, and one quick glance around, you could see the top hat through the window leading to the patio area, and you chuckled before heading in that direction.

The top hat, monocle and bow tie didn’t exactly go with his crewneck, but Owen was sporting it confidently. You saw a few people glance over at him questioningly, and when you slid into the seat across from him, you earned a few looks yourself.

“You look dashing,” Owen cooed in a fake British accent, and you laughed into your hand as you tried to keep yourself quiet.

“You look pretty dapper yourself,” you managed to get out before erupting in another fit of giggles, and Owen started laughing with you. It was ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous, but you were both having too much fun.

You took your time while you ordered, and Owen managed to keep up his fake British accent through the entire event. You were sure that the waiter didn’t believe for a second that he was from anywhere outside of America, but he was kind enough to keep his judgements to himself. You lost yourself in your little made-up world with him, and even tried out an accent of your own. It didn’t work out.

“Are there anymore random outfits to this day?” You asked a couple of hours later after Owen had paid (you had tried to pay for yourself, but he had managed to coerce the waiter to pretend like your credit card wasn’t sitting on the table next to his) and you were walking back out to his car.

“No, I promise that the clothes you had on this morning will be fine.” While Owen was waiting for the waiter to bring his card back, you had gone back to the bathroom to change back into your regular clothes. A few of the patrons were once again surprised at your change in attire, but just like you had managed to do all afternoon, you ignored them.

Once you got into the car, Owen informed you that the last event wasn’t until later in the evening, so driving around the city was the time-filler activity until then. You weren’t about to complain. After playing volleyball in the sun and then having a nice, filling lunch, you were a little tired and could use the break.

Somewhere in the first half of your day, while you were getting swept away in Owen’s activities, your stomach had started turning over itself every time Owen looked at you. It was something that had been happening more and more frequently when he was around, but now it was becoming more noticeable. His smile would cause an involuntary one to turn up your lips. His laugh would cause your heart to thunder in your chest, and sometimes his hand would brush yours as you both reached for the volume dial when a particularly good song came on, and you would have to refrain from jerking away, feeling electricity spread up your arm at the contact.

He was your best friend, but he was alarmingly more than that now. You wondered if he had any idea what kind of fire he was playing with setting up a day like this for the two of you to enjoy together.

In the midst of driving around to pass the time, Owen would stop at some of the stores he knew to be your favorites, and you would walk around for a bit. It was nice and relaxed and exactly how you would normally spend a quiet afternoon together. You knew that there was still more to this day that he had planned, but if it were to end at that moment, you would have been content.

When the sun started to set, you were informed that it was time for your next, and last, activity. By now, you didn’t really care what it was, because even without it, Owen had given you the best day imaginable. You didn’t even stare out the window to try to figure out where you were going. Instead, you turned up the music and sang One Direction songs to Owen while he sang them back to you. It was perfect.

It had been a long time since you had been to a movie under the stars, but when Owen finally put the car in park, you realized that was exactly what his final plan was. When you saw the sign and realized that it was for your all time favorite movie, the first thought you had was why you didn’t know that it was playing here. The second thought was how sweet and amazing your best friend was for bringing you here so that you could see it.

He didn’t try to stop you now as he quickly got out of the car and then moved to the backseat to grab the last bag. When you moved to join him, he took your hand without immediately dropping it - something that he hadn’t purposely done all day, though he had many times before - before leading you over to an empty patch of grass that was right in the middle of the viewing area. You had a perfect view of the screen, but you weren’t paying as much attention to that now. No, you were too busy watching the boy that you were with.

Owen eventually dropped your hand as he started going through the contents of the new, and last bag. There was a rolled up blanket, a hoody that you recognized as his, some snacks, and a couple bottles of water. Everything you needed for a night like this. You could feel the emotion start to overwhelm you.

He didn’t say a word as he laid out the blanket and then handed you the spare hoody.

“In case you get cold,” he murmured when you gave him a questioning look. Your heart stuttered in response, but you didn’t offer him a verbal one. You watched as he slipped his baseball hat off again, his hands pushing nervously through his hair before he finally looked back over at you.

“Seriously, Owen, what’s going on?” The lightness your voice was gone, and it was replaced with concern. Your best friend was nice and wonderful and all great things, but he didn’t do things like this without a reason. Was he sick? Was he leaving? All negative thoughts filled your mind and you immediately felt like you could cry.

“YN, there isn’t anything-“

“Is it because of her?” You cut off before you could stop the words from flying out of your mouth. You hated that you brought it up. You had managed to push her out of your mind for the last few hours, but now that you were faced with such uncertainty, it was the first place your mind went. Owen only looked confused.

“Her? Her who?” He asked as his hand dropped back down to his side, and your gaze fell to the blanket on the ground. You knew now that you had brought her up, you were going to have to face the truth of it all.

“I saw your Instagram story this morning with Serena. She’s… she’s really pretty, but I just had no idea-“

“No idea?” Owen asked, his voice still heavy with confusion. “No idea about what, YN?”

You squeezed your eyes shut as you felt tears start to build behind them. You wished that the night had ended after your Target run an hour ago. You wished that you didn’t have to deal with this on your ‘best day ever’.

“I had no idea that you were seeing someone.”

Despite being outside and surrounded by people, an eery silence fell over you. Owen wasn’t quick to reply, and the more seconds that ticked by, the more heartbroken you became. Maybe you would need to call an Uber to save you from this night.

“Y-you think… YN, Serena and I are not dating,” he finally managed to stutter a few seconds later. It felt like an eternity, but his words finally gave you the little bit of courage you needed to look back up at him.

In the setting sun, Owen’s eyes looked bluer than you had ever seen them, and your breath caught in your throat. Whatever shock he had been feeling from your words seemed to be fading as panic started to settle on his features.

“Oh my god, you really thought… oh, no, YN. No, no, no, that’s not what you were supposed to think at all!” Your brows furrowed as you stared up at him, but he had started to pace a bit in front of you, making you feel even more on edge. “Have you been feeling that way all day?” You nodded in response to the question, and Owen groaned as he slid his fingers through his hair.

“Owen, please explain to me what the hell is happening,” you insisted, and while you had hoped that he would stop moving, he didn’t.

“Serena- she’s a friend. She’s someone that I met while filming and we… I’ll admit, I guess when I shared it, I was hoping that it would make you a little jealous, but I didn’t think-“

Another wave of confusion flowed over you at his words. He was trying to make you jealous?

“Wait, what do you mean, ‘you hoped it would make me jealous’?” You cut him off, a hardness forming in your voice that you hadn’t known was going to appear. Owen immediately stopped his pacing at the sound, and his wide eyes stared worried back at you.

“It’s not… okay, yes. But it’s not like I wanted it to like, ruin your day or anything. I just… in hindsight, it was a dumb move, I’ll admit. I had this whole day planned for weeks now, and Jeremy even helped me set up the beach thing, and-“ Owen was rambling now, and all you could do was stare back at him while he worked through it. “- well he told me that I should just tell you that I liked you instead of feeling like I needed to do this big gesture, but it isn’t that easy, you know?” He had started pacing now, but you hadn’t missed his words. The blood rushed through your ears, and the world felt like it shifted a bit as they hit your eardrums.

I should just tell you that I liked you.

“You’re my best friend, and I-“

“Owen.”

“-saying something like that has the power to ruin things and I couldn’t stand-“

“Owen.”

“-I mean, I don’t even know if you feel the same way, and if this was all for nothing that’s fine, I just don’t want you to think I lied to you-“

“OWEN!”

Finally, you managed to grab his attention as he slowed to a stop and you were able to step towards him. The expression on his face was a mixture of wild panic and confusion, and you smiled a bit at how cute it was.

“Would you just shut up and kiss me already?”

It was a bold move, and it seemed to take Owen by surprise a little bit as he didn’t make a move for a solid five seconds after you spoke.

“You… I should what?” He asked dazedly, and you giggled as you raised onto your tiptoes, your hand gently cupping the back of his neck.

“Kiss me.” It turns out, he didn’t need to be asked twice.

His actions mirrored yours as one of his hands came up to rest just under your jaw as you leaned your body into his and he closed the distance between you. His lips were soft- softer than you had imagined they could be- and his thumb brushed against your cheek as gently pulled you closer. Lightning shot through your veins though he was the one grounding you so that you wouldn’t get shocked, and after a few seconds, you could feel him smiling against your lips.

“You should have stopped me sooner,” he murmured when he took a second to pull back.

“I don’t think that I could have, even if I tried,” you teased, just before he leaned in to kiss you again.

Kissing your best friend who you had feelings for was like seeing the Northern Lights for the first time. It was bright and beautiful and you swore you saw colors that you didn’t even know existed before. Owen had set out to make this the best day ever, and you weren't sure that he knew just how well he had exceeded at it. But, you kept kissing him, and eventually you sat down on the blanket for the movie and you kissed him more.

He was perfect, the day was perfect, and the pain you had felt that morning seeing the unknown girl on his story dissipated completely as you knew that the only person that had him in this way was you. He liked you back, and you didn’t have to second-guess it anymore. From the unannounced breakfast, to the beach, to lunch, to wandering around the city together, and now ending your night on a blanket in the park watching your favorite movie together… it was the perfect recipe for your own personal best day ever.

[tundrainafrica]

Note: Instead of posting a meta or a fic today, allow me to take a quick break from that because I think I really need to appreciate some people here and the fandom overall.  

February 7, 2021. 

Today, I turned 24 and my boyfriend surprised me with a gift I think I’ll be taking to heart for a very long time. 

The story behind the gift was as precious (or even more precious) as the gift itself and I thought I’d share it since it turned out some content creators were involved in this gift and I very much want to express how much this gift has defined this day for me and will place my 24th birthday as one of those birthdays I don’t think I’ll ever forget. 

Apparently, I had casually dropped both my tumblr and my ao3 account during one of our conversations and somewhere around November he had started looking through my bookmarks, my posts on tumblr and some of my interactions with people in the fandom.

I should have seen it coming. It had started with my boyfriend suddenly asking about my hyperfixation with Levihan.

Sav? Shipping? Sav? Binge reading ships and meta posts? Sav? Gushing about a fictional ship?

And I remember gushing about this with my seemingly uninterested boyfriend a long night after explaining what was oddly the most out of character thing for someone like me. 

I was sharing with him my metas and hcs and maybe, I was dropping a few of my favorite quotes along the way and it turned out he was interested. Suddenly he was asking me about my favorite fics, my favorite scenes. Suddenly, he was rereading my favorite fics with me and a few times, he was quoting those same scenes. I did find out he was looking through my blog when I got a random message from a really sketchy tumblr telling me to open my facebook. 

I suspected a few times that he could be planning something. December passed with nothing and eventually he stopped asking so I clocked that as a fevered dream or unnecessary assuming on my end and didn’t think too much of it after. 

It turned out my boyfriend had messaged my favorite authors about their fics and he commissioned one of my favorite artists (if not my favorite) to draw a few photos and bound them into a Levihan Anthology 

And it feels fucking amazing to receive something like this. To get Levihan which helped me through the worst of 2020, bound forever as a book I can just open up and read anytime. And I guess tearing up at receiving such a gift had me thinking of a lot of things at once (which were always at the back of mind) but I thought of sharing now. 

The past year wasn’t easy. Actually. don’t think it’s an understatement to say this past year was dog shit. With the covid pandemic and all plans after that cancelled, I’m sure we can all agree we had our ups and downs. 

I had a lot of my own plans completely thrown out the window for numerous reasons. I had plans of going to law school part time while building a career. And, I got a job right after college to make these plans come true. In September the law school I got accepted to (after working so damn hard the past year to get accepted) denied my appeal for night classes. I decided to drop my enrollment to focus on my career. A week later, my job laid me off. 

And for once in my life, I wasn’t going anywhere. And I lived in a house where everyone was always doing something and as soon as I lost my job I was pressured to find another one. But as we all know, searching for a job during this pandemic isn’t easy. I was still reeling after having dropped my enrollment just to focus on my job only to lose that job the week after with no prior notice. Everyone around me was busy doing their own thing. I had no one to talk to and for a while, I was falling into this pit of depression. 

My days consisted of me hiding under the covers of my bed in between the few interviews I would take day to day. Around that time, I decided to binge watch Attack on Titan as well 

I was never one to get hyper fixated in ships. In fact, this was the first ship since Royai and Victuuri which I have been so passionate. And this is a whole new level of passion. I think this is the first time I’ve ever written so much in this small amount of time. It was slow going. Just like Levi and Hange’s relationship, my fixation with this ship was a slowburn. 

Those days alone, I was reading fanfiction by the bundle, I was scrolling through the Levihan tag like a simp, leaving kudos in ao3 on a throwaway account and just scrolling through random people’s tumblr accounts. 

What happened during the one month? And when I was alone, sad, lonely and stagnant with no one to talk to, when everyone around me was living their own lives, all I had alone in the bedroom was Levi and Hange’s stories to keep me company between interviews. 

And the meta analyses and headcanons I had about their relationship were teaching me things. They were teaching me that life was never about how quickly you progress or how far you go. Maybe the real winners in life are the ones who can build good relationships, build relationships so mutually satisfying they keep each other growing and in those few moments reading, headcanoning ships, I did realize, maybe even as stagnant as I was at that moment, my life wasn’t dogshit. 

No one’s life is dogshit for a few small bumps along the way. Sometimes it just is part of the process of growing, learning to get past the worse, learning to manage relationships. And maybe it’s these relationships which make life worth living. Maybe it’s these struggles depicted in these stories and the bounce back. Maybe it’s the love, the life, the emotions so carefully described and depicted in every single story which makes life, life. 

With every single fic I read and every single fan art I scrolled through. Levihan was teaching my things about love, loss and life. 

Sometimes, these fandoms are the things which can catch people before they fall too low into something. These works and stories authors and artists shared so generously were what pulled me out of this state and are what inspired me to explore this relationship for all the potential its worth and maybe share my own stories and headcanons which people may learn a thing or two from or maybe just find some comfort and hope in.  

And these inspirations eventually evolved to writing. Writing 10,000 words in a day in between three interviews? I never was a writer but somehow, I found myself spending hours exploring the themes of love, loss and life with our favorite pairing 

I didn’t start writing out of nowhere. I didn’t start making metas out of nowhere. I needed the right inspiration, the right content to get me into this point where I could continue writing, reading, meta-ing, appreciating, headcanoning and everything in between.

And I just wanted to express my gratefulness to every single person in the fandom who had made it possible for me to pull out of that blackhole. Fandoms are underrated and I believe there are so many lessons which can be learned from the right content and from the right people. 

To the people who so willingly went along with my boyfriend’s little project: 

@faerielleart​ I saved A LOT of your art and they’re sitting in my google photos under a folder called Levihan and maybe I did share a few of your photos (the cheeks one and the beast titan one and the les miserables) ones to my boyfriend unsolicited just to show him how beautiful Levihan can be. Thank you so much for these beautiful drawings.

@lizaloveslevihan​ You were one of the first people I talked with in this fandom and dreams really was one of those stories that fucked me up a little bit, had me make a few misses on the commute on the way home one day but maybe it did have me explore the angst genre a little more, maybe it did have me explore Levi’s character a little more. 

@ariadneamare​ YELLOW. OH GOD. You know those letters? The ones which Hange left Levi at the end of the story? I ended up copying and pasting them and sending them to my boyfriend right after reading and I remember talking to him about this. We might be facing that same type of story in the future and I guess that ended up becoming a lot of foundation of our discussion and I guess, it’s just proof that there is so much to learn from fanfiction. There’s just so much to explore and fanfiction as a genre just does not get the credit it deserves.

@fanmoose12​​ I was exploring your works even before I started this tumblr up again. Maybe it was even your works which got me building my own headcanons from Levihan and writing from there. And I think I did leave a few anonymous messages telling you how I started exploring other genres because of your fics. Your works got my out of my dark place, it got me exploring a lot of other genres and for that I’m eternally grateful.

And somehow, my boyfriend picked that all up from late night discussions and one-on-one metas. Surprisingly, he wasn’t just playing along to humor his girlfriend. He was exploring the themes of love, life, loss and Levihan right along with me. (And got spoiled about Hange’s death along the way… Oops.) 

And I am eternally grateful for that and I made sure to shower him with a lot of kisses after he kept me in the loop with what has been going on these past few months with his sudden interest in Levihan.

And this huge thank you goes out to all content creators (authors, artists, gif creators, shitposters alike). Sometimes you never know who’s thinking about your work, who’s shoehorning your works and quoting them to their best friends. Sometimes, you never will find out but your work had pulled someone out of a blackhole which they’ve been stuck in and sometimes you never know that your work has been that seemingly small thing that had taught them a lesson in love, life or relationships. Sometimes, that one work turned out to be an inspiration which got them writing and sharing their own stories or making their own drawings

And I guess, the point is, keep writing. Keep drawing. Keep sharing pouring your love, passion and emotions into works of art because you never really know whose heart you touched or whose life you changed.

I have a job now. I decided to push law school a few years back and maybe take the time to work on myself now and maybe spend the next months or maybe years writing metas and fanfictions. I was pulled out of my hole. I was inspired. I have my own stories to tell and I don’t think I would have been here if I hadn’t spent the last few months reading fic after fic, meta after meta, appreciating art after art, 

So anyway, I just wanted to share some pics of my favortie fics, immortalized in one anthology, all organized by my boyfriend. And I think he made some great decisions with these.

(Bookbinding credits to @mayerwien)

[decodingellipses]

Modern Love: He Made Affection Feel Simple

[courtesy of Brian Rea]

"Dating as a transgender woman, in my experience, meant low expectations and casual sex. Then I met Jack."

This piece is part of the Modern Love column at The New York Times

by Denny

My bio on Grindr read: “Be trans friendly. Send face to chat.”

It was difficult to be on a gay hookup app as a trans woman. Most men in my feed desired to only sleep with each other. But I knew there were straight men on Grindr who hungered for a woman like me. I wanted them too.

That’s where I met Jack. At 22, he was a few months older than me, and, other than his age, his entire profile was blank, usually an indicator of a cisgender straight man who was guarded about his attraction to trans women. Typically, the messages I received would start with a vulgar sext, sometimes an unwanted nude photo.

Living in Morningside Heights, I was attending Fordham University for my master’s degree in strategic communication. One night I was up late working when I received a Grindr message from him, a selfie. Amid his light brown hair, two-day scruff and meek gaze, his lacrosse T-shirt stood out to me the most. He looked like a sporty boy I would have crushed on in high school.

He followed up his photo with “Hello.”

Messages in my Grindr inbox tended to cut to the chase: “Down for now?” “Car sesh?” Men who contacted me because they fantasized about trans women made it difficult for me to feel seen as a person in general, let alone a person worthy of respect.

Although my interest was piqued by Jack’s picture, it was his gentleness that drew me in.

Our sporadic small talk was harmless, spanning two months. I brushed him off, but as I commuted to school and spent hours in the library, he was persistent.

“My sex drive is pretty low these days,” I wrote. “Give me a bit and I’ll hit you up.”

“OK.”

When I turned back to my studies, he added, “Just so you know, we can do non-sex things and hang out too. It would be fun.”

This became our pattern: he being distant enough to show interest without pressure, and me appreciating his laxity, given my demanding schoolwork. His ease led me to trust him, so we set up a day to meet.

The first afternoon Jack came over, he admired my bathtub and drank his cup of water with two hands. His poised demeanor in a beige wool peacoat and long scarf reminded me, in a good way, of John Bender in “The Breakfast Club.” In my bedroom, he fixated on my yellow Power Ranger figurines, noticing my framed academic award next to them on the windowsill.

“You went to SUNY Oneonta?” he said. “I went to SUNY Potsdam.”

I pictured my friends who also attended Potsdam eating in the same cafeteria as Jack, getting drunk at the same frat party. Suddenly, the person I’d seen as a stranger now fit into my world.

I imagined what the deer looked like from his dorm room window, roaming the grass at dawn. Or how he spent his day when the school canceled classes because of snow. Or where he would have gone if his parents were able to afford private school.

We sat on my bed, my back leaning against the wall. He slouched his head onto my hip and wrapped his arms around my waist. “This is weird,” I thought. Aside from sexual intimacy, my hookups were typically aromantic, absent of cuddling and expressions of affection.

I kissed him and rolled on top. I took off my shirt and he hugged me tight. His face dug into my chest as he said, “I like you. I think you’re really cool.”

Unsure how I actually felt, I said, “Oh. I think you’re really cool, too.”

The next time I saw Jack, he spent the night at my place. It was then, awake in bed at 4 a.m., that I realized I had never let a guy sleep over before. His heat warmed the bed, so I crept to the bathroom to cool off. I Snapchatted a disoriented selfie to my friends, my hair messy and eyes bloodshot.

“How do you guys do this sleepover thing?” I wrote. “I can’t sleep at all.”

Customarily, my flings with strange men were brief. The men did not take note of my bathtub or my educational history before sex, and they did not linger after.

I came back into bed, disturbed by the rumble of his snoring, but his sleeping face on my pillow struck me. For the first time, the thought of sharing a bed with a man did not come from pure imagination. I now had a real image for this fantasy; I could pretend Jack was my boyfriend, reach for his face and whisper “I love you, good night,” then fall asleep and meet him somewhere in his dream as if we had done this a hundred times before.

The next day, he flew off to see his family for the holidays and the first weeks of the new year.

“merry crimmus,” I texted.

“u too, babygirl,” he replied.

After our sleepover, I didn’t hear from him unless I initiated — an unexpected change. Instead of giving in to my insecurity that the sleepover meant little to him, and therefore I meant little, I imagined other scenarios: him asking me to sleep at his place, for a change, or spontaneously calling me while I’m in line for my morning coffee. But because I had presumed a sex-only expectation from the start, I shamed myself for developing feelings.

“miss u,” he texted one random morning.

“really?”

We stayed in touch and occasionally saw each other, weeks in between. On a hot morning, he snored behind me as I sat on the floor beside my bed, working on my final thesis. He put his hand up to my face, letting me know he was awake. With my eyes on the laptop screen, I took his hand and planted kisses in his palm, wallowing in these ordinary joys — the kind of affection I slowly grew comfortable displaying.

Longing to be more than casual with him, I sought a therapist to guide me through my growing feelings.

Jack’s periodic “miss u” texts progressed with heart emojis, an unprecedented closeness. And I returned the sentiment. It felt thrilling to express my adoration so directly, until the weeks between seeing each other and texting ultimately turned into months of silence I knew to be ghosting.

I relied on Grindr as my safe dock because dating as trans is complicated. Sleeping around was easier for me. I had set the bar low, then met Jack, who saw me as more than a fantasized body, only to have his mysterious exit echo a looming insecurity I avoided for years: Being trans implies I am not real enough to deserve decency.

I broke down in therapy, mustering the courage to say out loud what was undeniably true: “He left me.”

“I don’t mean to put this on you,” my therapist said, “but could him being a cis straight man and you being a trans woman play a part?”

I didn’t want to blame Jack, who showed me a new realm of affection that made desire feel as simple as just a boy and a girl who liked each other. But he made leaving simple, too; all of this could still not be enough.

Deep down, I denied how my mere existence as a trans woman could ever cost him. Jack, in wooing me, nurtured the possibility that my romantic fantasies could come true, that I could be seen as a complex person rather than a fetishized token of someone’s imagination. After being deserted by him, I ruminated on my insecurity that being trans denied me of even a simple goodbye.

And yet I know myself to be real because my transition, as a teenager, required exceptional certainty. Doctors and psychiatrists double-checked my decision constantly.

“Yes, I’m sure,” I repeated, and I became more real each year. With Jack, I felt even realer. Not only had he seen me as a woman, but as a woman worthy of being held.

I could blame my being trans for Jack’s ghosting, but maybe it had nothing to do with that. Maybe he hated his job. Maybe his family fell apart. Maybe the pleasure we felt together contrasted whatever pain remained of our baggage.

On lonely days, I imagine myself at SUNY Potsdam. At a frat party, I drunkenly dance across from Jack, cheap blue lights grazing the curves of our cheekbones, sweat dripping like cyan fireflies. Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline” roars through the party. “Good times never seemed so good,” everyone shouts. “I’ve been inclined to believe they never would.”

I put myself in the cafeteria, where Jack and I approach the salad bar at the same time. When he sees me, he steps back and says, “You go first,” with a grin so big I would need both hands to hold it.

———

Denny is a writer, actor and musician living in New York City.

[latinahockeylady]

                             Mat Barzal x Reader

Summary: Barzy and Y/n didn’t know they wanted to be more than friends till they’re more than friends and now they need to give a name to their relationship.

A/n: it’s my first time writing here, so yeah, I’m really not used to it. Hope you like it.

Warnings: mention of use of alcohol.

                                                 To give a name.

It's been a while since you and Mathew have been hooking up. Everything started when his older sister, who was your friend from UNI, invited you for Christmas at her family's home. As a foreign student, you planned to fly back home but they're canceled and you needed to reschedule it. Once you told her, she decided to invite you to her home, at least you were not going to be home alone on a holiday.

You had never met Mathew in person before that night, course you knew him as the super hockey player and once you were a big isles fan he was one of your favorite players at NHL, but that night just changed everything. 

Mathew was not as you expected him to be, he was definitely not that “frat boy”, he was lovely and kind most of the time and made you feel at home, even though you were miles away from it. That night you woke up earlier than everyone else in the house, headed to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, and wait till Liana met you in the kitchen, but to your surprise Mat was the one that you found. He was staring deeply at his mobile and barely noticed that you were there. You two started a conversation till the sun raised that morning. You were kinda shy at first but after some of his terrible jokes, you began to trust him a little more and it's been like that since you gave him the chance to prove you wrong about him.

You two have been hooking up whenever he was in town, it was just for fun at the beginning. You knew that hockey players used to have a different girl in every city and you were okay with it, both you and Mat were grown-ups and you were too focused on your master degree to get a real boyfriend and you were sure that no one else was cute as Mat was, so you were just enjoying those incredible moments that you shared with him. 

You and Mat decided that you needed to keep your “relationship” as a secret. You loved Mat’s family and didn’t want to create expectations about you two, you knew that at some point Mat was going to get tired of you, you were not his type at all, curvier than most girls he used to hang up with and always busy. Sometimes you were so busy with your assignments that the only way he could spend time with you was when he sat on the couch at your place and played video games while you were studying, he assured you that it was not a big deal for him and he enjoyed listening to you talking so passionately about your "masterworks". 

Some months later you got yourself putting some effort to spend more time with him. You felt guilty when you realized that you missed all his phone calls and forgot to answer all his messages talking about the team's last victory. Things at university were driving you crazy and you hardly ever had time to really enjoy the games, so once you told him that, he decided that he would call you after games to keep you updated about the news, you thought that it was really kind of him and you loved it, most of the games nights you used to go to bed listening to the deepest sound of his voice talking about penalties, goals, and passes.

Mathew was way more than just a guy that you hooked up with sometimes, he turned into your confessor, that friend that you knew you could just be yourself and didn’t need to behave so politely when he was around, he wouldn’t judge you, and he was always there when you needed and he had the best compliments that a girl could ask for. 

The next morning your friend told you her brother was coming for his birthday and you realized that you forgot all the things that you and she had been planning for his birthday. She had asked you to help her with it a couple of months before you and him met each other and now that sounded so different and so much special. 

You picked the best red dress that you found at the store and put on some high heels, even though you were not a big fan of them, they would help you with the height difference between you and Mat. He was handsome that night, he was always handsome even if a big scar on his face, you always thought that scars made him a little bit sexier than normal. When he came to you he was a little bit shy and he seemed to be nervous which was really strange of him. 

Some hours later he came to you and placed his palm on your cheeks, you were shocked when he started to lean on you, he was going to kiss you in front of everyone and you just moved your body away so he could not touch your lips.

- What are you doing, Mat? - You asked as he leaned back to take a look at you. He looked confused and there was some sadness in his eyes. 

- I thought that we were a thing. - He said pouting. 

- Yes, we are friends. Just it - You said and stared at Liana who was looking at you as you moved your eyes back to him. He was looking sad and you felt really bad about him. His feet started to moving away from you and the party. You knew that he was not okay and you headed after him. 

Once you found him in his bedroom you took place by his side, he was deep breathing, and his head was down. You placed your palm on his knee so he could feel that you were trying to apologize in your way. 

- What's going on, buddy? - You asked him as you softly drew some invisible circles on his knee. 

-I don't want to be your buddy anymore. - He said.

-Why? Thought that we were cool. I know I may not be the best friend in the whole world but I'm trying hard. 

-I love you, Y/N. - He whispered. 

-Wait, what did you just say? - You giggled a little, you couldn't believe what he just said. 

-I said, I, Mathew Michael Paul Barzal, love you, Y/N. - He said it louder and you were shocked. - I'm truly, madly, and deeply in love with you. I know it wasn't supposed to happen and I'm okay if you don't feel the same. 

-Are you crazy, Mat? - You kneeled between his legs and grabbed his face in your hands and stared deeply into his eyes. By that moment his eyes were filled with tears which made you cry a bit too, you knew he was a little bit drunk but not enough to lie. 

-If by crazy you mean to be yours, so yes I'm crazy. It's my birthday and you should give me a gift. - He pouted once more.

- I knew you were trouble Mat, but I just couldn't deny the feelings that you made me feel when I first saw you, you are like a dream coming true to me, you're my friend and also my man, and I couldn't ask for more. - You told him and the sparks of joy in his eyes just appeared. 

You two finally knew that it was the right moment for you two to give a name to your relationship. You loved Barzal and now you were sure he loved you too.

[mysmegrace]

Hey! I noticed your masterlist is a bit empty, can i fix that? Haha. Maybe you could write some headcanons with Saeran (and if you do more characters), Jaehee and Jumin having a cooking date with mc? Like maybe cookies, or browniesor cake! Idk haha. Sorry for the long ask. ☺️

Hey 👋 Haha yeah my master list isn’t doing so well right now lol. I love your ask, it’s so cute, and it’s not long at all! I didn’t see this until right now so forgive me if this is late lol!

Cooking Date with Saeran/Jumin/Jaehee 🥘

Saeran (Normal Ending)🌹

Staying indoors all day wasn’t fun in the slightest. Fortunately for you and Saeran, the coronavirus hadn’t reached the island you inhabited yet

Given that didn’t mean you guys were entirely safe, so you two had to follow the safety measures just like the rest of the RFA had to do back in South Korea

That meant you had to forget about your vacation to Greece you had planned for to go explore the European country and discover it’s beauty

You two definitely weren’t happy about that as you both were incredibly excited about the trip, the cancellation of the trip caused your moods to tank this week

As if you two weren’t already down in the dumps enough, you woke up to loud rain drops banging on your window

When seeing the combination of strong rain and high winds, a sigh escaped your lips

Walking around the island and admiring the gorgeous nature combined with seas that surrounded it was the only thing bringing you two comfort in these rough times

But because of how messy the weather was today, you couldn’t even do that

Feeling upset, you accepted defeat from Mother Nature and laid back down in bed, cuddled up to Saeran

After resting another few hours, the weather had only gotten worse, contrary to what you’d hope it’d be

You could see the look of disappointment that came across Saerans face as he looked outside the window

Nature was not just a pretty sight to Saeran, but a much stronger comforting sight to him, so you understood completely how this made him feel

The entirety of your early afternoon contained of just you and Saeran laying down focused on your phones

Nearing dinner hours you got a sudden yet welcoming motivation to get up and make something out of this horrible day after seeing lots of inspiration online

After a lot of thought you came to the conclusion that a cooking date sounds like something you two could use right now

You surfed the web until you came across the perfect recipe, Moussaka for dinner and Loukoumades for dessert

Two Greek dishes served frequently around Greece, maybe trying your hand at making these dishes could lighten your moods

This sounds like a great idea not only because it’s delicious food, but also because it could give you and Saeran a feel of Greece far away from the country

With everything planned and making sure all ingredients are in stock, you approach Saeran with your plan

He isn’t too enthusiastic when hearing your idea but with the puppy face you’re giving him, he found it hard to deny your offer

So he eventually agreed and you two were off to work

You turned on some calming music while you and Saeran began cutting up the vegetables needed for the Moussaka together

As time went on, you noticed you began getting happier as you two were cooking and making conversation

Your plan seemed to be working incredibly

After all ingredients were done and assembled correctly, you two gave it all time to cook

While it was cooking, you started talking about the future and about your dreams, you could tell his mood was lifting

You grew increasingly open with each other in discussing your wants and dreams, then a sudden but very welcomed kiss from Saeran touched your lips

It was only a little kiss, but that little kiss turned into another little kiss, and eventually it wasn’t just a little kiss anymore

You thought back to the days in Mint Eye, you could never see you and Saeran coming so far, but here you were now making out on the couch you shared

His hand laid gentle on your cheek as you two sat there enjoying every piece of each other and this amazing feeling

You both snapped back to reality once the timer rang loud through the home

Getting up disappointed because you two were interrupted, you walked over to take out the dinner with Saeran following you

Once you sat it down to cool, a giggle left Saerans mouth as his eyes laid on a trace of honey he left on your cheek

You returned his chuckle as you attempted to wipe the honey off with a towel

His hand stopped you from doing so as he turned your face towards him and wiped the trace of honey off with his thumb

“Thank you” you replied to his actions accompanied with a blush

“No need to thank me, it’s my job” he responded

You gave him a loving smile as you turned around to grab plates

You served the meal blown with a kiss on top as you two got to eating

Satisfied with the creation, you both had a loveable conversation and got a little piece of Greece in your home while missing out on your trip

After dinner dessert was served and you could’ve sworn you gained 30lbs from that delicious food

You both realized as long as you two are together, there’s no excuse to be upset about something that can always hold off until a later date

Jumin💎

The front door opening got your attention as you laid on the couch waiting for Jumin to arrive home

An hour ago he had run out to the grocery store to pick up some essentials and ingredients you two would need tonight

You both had planned cooking a meal together this afternoon and enjoying it over a candle lit table

Having a dinner date inside the home to relax and spend time together was something you definitely needed

It was perfect to make you feel even more loved and great for Jumin to lift stressful things from his mind

After an exhausting week of almost working himself to death, he brought up the idea to you

You didn’t even need to think before you agreed

Knowing Jumin, he was going all out

You swore the table cloth alone costed more than your rent for your old apartment

While he was sliding off his shoes with his arms holding many bags, you walked up to him and placed a short but sweet kiss on his lips

After you both brought the bags to the kitchen and got them unpacked, you got to work

You decided on stir-fry and lava cake

With Jumin focusing on the vegetables and chicken, you got to work on the sauce

Every time he passed you to get to the fridge, his hands wrapped around your waist for a brief minute as he placed a soft kiss on your temple

A light blush always came over your cheeks whenever he did loving actions like this, even after 3 years of marriage

You both were getting into conversations about life

About Elizabeth the 3rd, the next RFA party, plans for C&R, the current political climate, and much similar

Jumin was such an interesting man, how he could talk for hours about topics regarding the economy and fail to make you bored is beyond you

But you liked that about him, along with many other attributes of his

You always felt loved and protected in his presence, a feeling you’ve never felt throughout your childhood

As your conversation slowly shifted and you two starting getting more depth with your discussions, he expressed how much love he felt for you everyday

He never thought he could love someone this much, he can’t even imagine how much more love he’ll have in his heart when/if you two create your own family

While talking, you added the stir fry sauce to his concoction of vegetables & chicken on the stove, along with adding in noodles

You stirred the mixture carefully, making sure not to spill

An unexpected hand came on top of yours and joined you in stirring the mixture

You took those few minutes when he was directly behind you to take the situation in, to just breathe out and relax in his presence

Your stir fry was cooked perfectly as you turned off the heat and let it to cool a bit

While cooking, you both got to work on the lava cake

It was a quick & simple recipe that Jumin had never attempted to make before

He usually had his chef cook for you both so this entire experience was a special occasion to him

You both continued where u left off in your conversation

The look in his eyes as he spoke passionately, the way his lips moved along with his words, god you loved this man

You still remember the days when Jumin seemed like such a cold man to you at first

But when getting closer to him and hearing him open up to you, you realize how broken he’s been from childhood

He deserved better

Your thoughts were cut off the loud timer going off

As Jumin went to take out the cake, he told you to go get dressed

You were confused but listened, he had an outfit already laid out for you on the bed you two shared

He really was over the top somethings

After getting the gorgeous dress on, you walked back out to the kitchen to meet him

You were met with a well set table already prepared and a lit candle in the centre of you two

He took your soft hand into his and led you to your seat, pulling your chair in and out for you

He joined you seated at the table and you two became to eat

The dinner tasted great, better than you both expected

It wasn’t to his chefs level, but it was great for a non-chef

The rest of your night was spent in each other’s arms drinking a glass of wine on the couch

you two may or may not have had a shower after to clean yourselves off together and did some things 👁👄👁

Jaehee 🧁

You arrived at Jaehee’s apartment around noon

You two had planned to bake some cookies and donate them to the orphanage to give to children

Jaehee had her cooking supplies ready before you even arrived, she’s incredibly good at being prepared

You both got straight to work and had decided on chocolate chip and raisin cookies

Jaehee turned on some music to listen to in the background

She did the chocolate chip, you did raisin

A song came on from her playlist that you loved, you knew the dance to it and everything

You started dancing as you mixed the batter, singing along to the songs

That earned you a quick look of confusion from Jaehee

You stopped mixing and sat down the bowl as you stretched your hand out to Jaehee, offering her to dance with you

She stared for a minute before hesitantly agreeing after you told her to let loose a little

You started off slow, making sure she got a hang of the moves

Then you began gaining pace, building up speed

You saw a smile creep onto her face as she moved along with you

The song came to a short and after a short laugh you both got back to work

Hours passed of you making cookies before you were done, covered in a mess

You wiped your finger into the flour you had on your apron

You gave Jaehee an unexpected surprise by swiping the flour on her nose

She quickly returned your action back and you were soon in a flour war zone

After coating each other in the white powder, you two decided to call it quits for the day as you removed your apron

Looking at the cookies on the counter, you both grabbed one and cheered them together, making a toast

“To us”

I hope you enjoyed! I apologize if Jaehee’s seems rushed in any way, it’s almost 3am right now and I’m not functioning properly lol. Plus I’m not the best at writing with Jaehee. Thank you for your request!

REQUESTS: OPEN

[tsrookie]

Alright, so today’s the three-year anniversary of Reputation a.k.a the greatest album of all time, my baby, the light of my life, the album that deserved a Grammy (trying desperately not to think about the scene from Miss Americana😭), the album that introduced us to the most beautiful couple ever, the album that shut Kimye up, and I better stop now, or else I’m not gonna shut up.

So in honour of this momentous occasion (and the fact that I reached 200+ followers! Thank you so much you guys!🥺 Love you all 3000💙), here’s a loooooong post on why Reputation is the Ethan and MC album.

1. ...Ready For It?

No one has to know

Throwback to MC saying the exact same words back in Miami.

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

You should see the things we do, baby, mmm

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

I know I'm gonna be with you

So I take my time

Remember back when MC asked for Ethan to get into bed right away during their first time? Ethan told them that he had dreamt about the moment for months, so he wasn’t going to rush it.

2. End Game

Big reputation, big reputation

Ooh you and me would be a big conversation

These two dating would be the talk of the hospital, and they know it.

Even when we'd argue, we don't do it for long

And you understand the good and bad, end up in the song

For all your beautiful traits, and the way you do it with ease

For all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities

Think these lines are pretty self-explanatory😌

I hit you like bang

We tried to forget it, but we just couldn't

*gets war flashbacks of the ‘reset’ phase*😭 They tried to make it work, but we all know how Ch 8 of book 2 went😌

I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me

Perfect for our chaotic MC😌

3. Don’t Blame Me

Do I... really have to explain this one?

For you, I would cross the line

I would waste my time

I would lose my mind

They say she's gone too far this time

Do we need a recap of our rule-breaking MC?

And baby, for you, I would fall from grace

Just to touch your face

If you walk away

I'd beg you on my knees to stay

He was willing to risk his (mostly) rule-abiding reputation for being with MC. And there’s no way he wouldn’t beg for MC not to leave him if he ever screwed up🤷‍♀️

4. Delicate

This ain't for the best

My reputation's never been worse, so

You must like me for me

Ethan stood by MC’s side throughout the Ethics hearing, when her reputation was completely smeared, and people only saw her as a patient murderer. He didn’t know about the sabotages, but he would’ve definitely supported her if he had known.

We can't make

Any promises now, can we, babe?

Commitment-phobia🙃

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep

Are you ever dreaming of me?

Sometimes when I look into your eyes

I pretend you're mine, all the damn time

They spent so much of time apart, not able to be with each other, so the least they could do was dream of being with each other all the time.

5. So It Goes (an underrated af bop)

What can I say... it’s a sex song, okay? Don’t make me go into the details😂 Just listen to the lyrics, and all will be clear.

6. Gorgeous (Tumblr won’t let me put any more links)

MC’s eternal anthem to Ethan.

Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine

You've ruined my life, by not being mine

We all know Ethan loves Whiskey, and the second line? C’mon!

You're so gorgeous

I can't say anything to your face

'Cause look at your face

And I'm so furious

At you for making me feel this way

But, what can I say?

You're gorgeous

Ethan Ramsey is famous for two reasons. One: his smart brain, I guess😒 Two: HIS LOOKS!!! HE’S GORGEOUS, AND DON’T DENY IT.

And you should think about the consequence

Of you touching my hand in the darkened room (dark room, dark room)

Ah, the olden days of hand holding in the diagnostics office🥺

Ocean blue eyes looking in mine

I feel like I might sink and drown and die

No explanation required.

You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah

There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have

You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad

The wonderful will-they-won’t-they saga. The frustrating hot-and-cold behaviour. The ‘We can’t’, ‘It’s unethical’ and ‘It’s complicated’. MC deserves an award for her patience😓

7. King Of My Heart

I'm perfectly fine, I live on my own

I made up on my mind, I'm better off bein' alone

Ethan ‘I don’t believe in soulmates and nobody’s waiting at home’ Ramsey.

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

This could be from both Ethan and MC’s perspectives. The love they share isn’t something that you get easily. It’s something that MC has waited for her whole life, and something Ethan never knew he needed, but now can’t live without🥺

Late in the night, the city's asleep

Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep

Change my priorities

The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury

This was definitely Ethan throughout book 2, after he finally gave in. He let go of his previous rules and regulations, especially during the time of the attack. He was clearly affected, and once MC was alright, his main priority was her, and her alone.

Is the end of all the endings?

My broken bones are mending

With all these nights we're spending

Ethan’s been burnt a lot in the past. But all those wounds are now healing thanks to MC.

Up on the roof with a school girl crush

Drinking beer out of plastic cups

They act like lovesick teenagers around each other, like, that’s literally their description if you choose to kiss Ethan for the first time in Chapter 14 of book 2!😅

Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff

Baby, all at once, this is enough

We all know about his initial fear of his mother reaching out to him for the sake of his money. To him, MC not talking advantage of him is a pretty big deal, even though it’s never mentioned. You just know, you know?🥺

8. Dancing With Our Hands Tied

My, my love had been frozen

Deep blue, but you painted me golden

Again, Ethan doesn’t have the best experience with love. But MC changed that.

I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted

This could go both ways, cause they’re both piping hot messes😬 (but love each other anyway🥺)

The rest of this song could have made so much more sense for them if we had gotten some sort of a secret relationship storyline. But oh well, I’m definitely not complaining about the gala😌 (and definitely not believing any of the supposed cancelled storylines)

9. Dress

Our secret moments

In a crowded room

They got no idea

About me and you

I mean... pretty obvious😌

Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

This is practically Ethan’s train of thought, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

As for the rest of the steamier lyrics... I’ll um... let you guys listen to it yourselves😁

10. Call It What You Want

I wrote an entire fic inspired by this song, so excuse me for the shameless self-promo, but go give it a read?🥺👉👈(totally fine if you don’t! I’ve probably made so many posts about this song that y’all know the meaning anyway😅)

11. New Years Day

Don't read the last page

But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away

I want your midnights

But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

MC has always stayed by Ethan’s side, even when he’s pushed her away. These lines perfectly explain how she wants his worst times, and his best, the midnights they spend staying up together, and the moments where it’s just the two of them, when everyone else has left, like the aftermath of a New Years party (still mad at the fact that we didn’t get to see the gang celebrate New Year together😭)

I'll be there if you're the toast of the town babe

Or if you strike out and you're crawling home

The above explanation for these lines as well.

Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

Becoming strangers to each other would be their worst nightmares. Knowing that the other was out there in the world somewhere, but not being in their lives would kill them.

You and me forevermore

These two are each other’s soulmate, they know it, even if they haven’t said it yet. Forever wouldn’t be enough for them to shower each other with they love they hold for each other. But it’s a good start.

——————————

If you guys made it this far, then I honestly love you more than words can ever express🥺💙 Thanks for putting up with my Swiftie-Directioner-Ethan stan ass, cause I dunno if I’d ever be able to handle someone like myself. And if you read all the above stuff, then I hope you wanna know why this album means so much to me.

Reputation is perceived as a dark album, when in reality it’s truly about finding love amongst all the noise. This album, and Taylor and Joe’s story, taught me what true love actually is, and Ethan and MC cemented that. This album and these two couples (quite literally) saved my life.

The most beautiful part about both these relationships is that even though they never showed it openly, for the sake of their relationships, both Ethan(in the story) and Joe stood by the side of the one’s they loved, despite half of the people who they knew hating on them, or betraying them. And I think that’s what’s truly important. Forming a true relationship like that, be it platonic or romantic, is long lasting, and I hope everyone finds those kind of people to fill their hearts with. Sending much love, and sorry for being a huge sap😅💙

Tagging a couple of my Swiftie homies: @swiftlydarcy @nikki-2406 @dxnicaramsey @kaavyaethanramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @drariellevalentine @justanotherrookie

[juncottonluvbot]

Close isn't close enough

Baekhyun x reader

fluffy

A/N: Hello!! Thank you for liking my last writing, your feedback it’s what motivated me to write this! (though due to internet issues it took longer than needed…)

Baekhyun is a naturally cuddly person and that’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with a little cuddling between friends right? That is if it weren’t for the butterflies in your stomach every time your best friend decides to cling to you like a koala for the next few hours. Everyone you’d told of your cuddling sessions to had told you that that’s not how friends usually act, “especially not friends of opposite genders”, but what do they know? You held hands with and hugged other friends too, not as much as with Baekhyun of course, but that’s just because he is your best friend. Of course, you had come to think there was something more to your relationship with Baekhyun some time ago, there was just something about how he had carefully taken off your shoes and socks, then your outer layers of clothing one day after you had a particularly tough week and couldn’t even think for yourself, you can still remember his gentle nudging towards the bathroom and the sound of his light giggles as he said that the door was as far as he’d get you, the two of you also cuddled that day, though it was far more intimate than usual, but maybe it was just the setting of you both in your bed and your wet hair against the pillow that made it different for you. There was also Baekhyuns slight protective nature towards you, usually disguised as a joke on your tiny age difference but sometimes with a more serious tone and calls for you to take care of yourself better, along with some heart filling commentary of things like “no one can hurt my (y/n), ok? Not even you, so you need to stop being so naive, I can’t protect you all the time”. A while ago you had managed to convince yourself that he liked you back, there seemed to be enough evidence so maybe he was just afraid you didn’t feel the same, right? So you decided to do the confessing yourself, nothing wrong with that, Baekhyun was known for crushing on more confident women anyways, so why not? But when you finished revising your speech, just to discard it completely and choose to speak from your heart, seeing as the speech you’d written was cheesy at best and demanding Baekhyuns liking at worse, you decided to pick up your phone to mess around a little bit before going to bed, planning on confessing the day after. The first post you saw as you opened Instagram was enough to delude you completely, the picture was of Baekhyun and a girl faces close together and a cute caption, “Just out and about with the girlfriend”. Girlfriend? People who are dating most certainly don’t have crushes on their best friends and so you were back to square one, even worse, it was like you were in the negative numbers now. Before he was dating you and Baekhyun saw each other every day, you hung out alone at least once a week, you cuddled and occasionally walked on the streets close to each other relishing in the heat it brought you. Now you’d stopped hanging out alone, you only saw each other in passing, hung out only when other friends were there and even then, your were now keeps at a distance, Baekhyun no longer sat beside you and helped you pick out what to eat, “Christ (y/n), how do you choose what to wear every morning, you just can’t make decisions”, or walk in the back of your friend group complaining about how slow you walk as you attempt to explain to him how not everything needs to be fast in life, “you’re full of excuses, it’s okay to admit you just never step foot in a gym, y’ know?”, you also didn’t get cuddles anymore. Truthfully none of that really bothered you per se, what bothered you was the implication that Baekhyun didn’t see you the way you see him, obviously he’d stop being so close to you when he got a girlfriend, but you’d just hoped things would have played out differently, that may be the girlfriend would be you. You were not the type of person to be let down for long though so you just adjusted yourself to the situation, started hanging out more with your other friends. Still, it was not the same as with you and Baekhyuns friendship, and pretty much moved on with your life, but it wouldn’t be a lie to say the cuddles were missed. Baekhyun and his girlfriend soon broke up though, the relationship had lasted only two months. Though he never truly told you the reason, he did show up at your door the day it happened, breathing heavily as if he ran to get there, looking not sad but just confused, spending the rest of the night cuddling you on the couch as you watched several movies. That day had felt so right in your head it hurt, the way Baekhyuns body felt so close to yours, the soft breath he let out when your fingers first ran through his hair, it was as if the habit had never died in the first place. None of what you felt was real though, no matter how loved you felt in his arms or how much your heart raced, Baekhyun didn’t feel the same. It was a couple of weeks after you and he had returned to your normal state of friendship that you realized you had to move on, it’s just silly to continue to cling on to hope that Baekhyun will start liking you at some point when very clearly he had no problem dating other people. That’s why last week you went on a date with someone and today you’d be going to the second date with the same someone, granted you couldn’t say you had feelings for the guy yet but you were sure they would develop soon. The guy was nice, kind, funny and, most importantly, clearly had an interest for you, that’s exactly what you need right now. You were just putting on a necklace when your doorbell rang, thinking your date was already here, a surprise since the man was late for the first one, you were in a hurry to finish up and get the door. But in opening the door you saw the person in front of you was Baekhyun, not your date. “Baek I’m sorry but I can’t hang out right now, I have a date and he will be here any moment now" He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, looking at you with determination flooding his eyes. “That’s why I’m here, don´t go on a date with him, go out with me instead” “Baekhyun we can hang out another time, come on! What will my date think if you’re here when he comes to pick me up?” “(Y/n)! I’m not here to hang out with you, I’m suggesting we go on a date!” It was almost like your head had started spinning, you felt light-headed at his words, Byun Baekhyun doesn’t like you, right? Then why is he at your door asking you out on a date… “Look, it’s not like I was stalking you or something… See I even brought some chocolates for you, well I was hoping we’d end up sharing them but I don’t think that will happen considering you look like you’re about to reject me…” He scratches the back of his head awkwardly, his other arm holding out a heart-shaped box of chocolates to you. “How long?” You shake your head in disbelief, “How long have you liked me?” “I guess when we met I had a huge crush on you, you had no idea…” He looks at his feet, thoughtful, “But at some point, I resigned to being just a friend, but now I realized how I never once told you about it, my crush that turned into liking…” He meets eyes with you for a moment, eyebrows tensed in question, “You never asked me how my last relationship ended…” “How?” You say in a tiny voice, almost afraid speaking loudly will ruin the moment, wake you up from this dream. “I had been feeling sad, not like myself for a while, I didn’t know why, but my ex did” He lets out a breath, “When she asked if it was because of you since I distanced myself out of respect for her and I couldn’t deny it” He now moved weirdly in his feet, looking at both sides of the door to your place. “So… Do you feel the same? I don’t think things will go great for us if your date catches me at your door…holding a heart-shaped chocolate box…” “Well then, good thing he won’t be coming anymore. I have a feeling I found a better date” You say as you begin typing out a quick sorry message, only to realize you had already received a message canceling the date. You didn’t feel sad about the missed date though, looking at Baekhyun you could only think about the number of cuddles that you have to look forward to in the future.

[goth-girlfriend]

Heyy could I get a matchup please? I’m a pansexual non binary person excepting and loving to all, I have short black hair and I am 5’1. Tbh I’m more interested in the 1A boys but I do love all the pro hero’s and the villains too. I can be shy at first but once you get to know me I can be very chaotic and alt. I’m very open minded and understanding no matter what your situation is and I am very patient, I rarely get angry. I also do a lot of art from pairing to potter and photography, I love to try new things. I also love your work so much and I hope your doing well 💕

Thank you! 🥰 It means a lot! I hope your doing week in this time ☺️💙 sorry it took over a month 😅 but! I’ll make it up to you! And! The other four waiting....and the few in my inbox! Well! I hope you like it!

✨✨✨✨🤍✨✨✨✨🤍✨✨✨✨

✨Denki✨

Kaminari, you wouldn’t think five inches is enough for him to look down and bully you about your height. But...honestly? You couldn’t be mad at it considering it’s what made your friendship with the blonde bloom.

Then again, when you first met him you were kind of a wreck and didn’t have the guts to tell him, “I’m not an arm rest stop leaning on my shoulder.” Instead you let it be, fidgeting fingers and looking ahead until her smiled brightly at you, “SHORT FRIENDS ARE GREAT!” he looked down at you eyes closed, “I should keep you around more.”

Well, after that you were adopted by, THE BAKUSQUAD! Bakugo not really caring, but when Kirishima and Denki followed him around he always made sure to grab you and drag you with them, because “I WAS SCARED AND PANICKED! I DIDN’T WANNA BE ALONE!”

So, for the first and second week he treated you like a quiet kid, mostly starting conversation until you got into a comfortable groove, and he almost died seeing how you really turned out. YOU started to bully him, when he entered his short circuit, the jokes you made, but still, you took care of him making sure he didn’t get into trouble or hurt. At times you’d become a bit impulsive and your chaotic side came out.

“MOVE! IM GONNA DO IT!” You screamed “Y/n! NO! I LIKE YOU BETTER ALIVE!” He screamed. Silence, you moved your head, trying to pull back, but no luck, your eyes moved in panic looking at Denki, his own eyes wide before he started laughing. You tried to move your head regretting it instantly. Your right hand came up, forefinger and thumb pulling at your tongue that was now stuck to the pole you had made victim to your weird antics. “mm thuck.”

you have great goofy moments together, but the moment he hears Bakugo screaming and silence, and then he hears you screaming? Hah, no. All relations are canceled/expired/rejected/blocked/denied/gone. He likes being alive, and right now, you were a threat to his life, so “Oh, uh yeah I got a thing to do in the other ro-“ RUN

he’s more than great full to have you around, your patient with him when he just can’t do something but he’s determined to. Like the month he dragged you of the dorms every night, because “IM GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS HAUNTED HOUSE WITHOUT SCREAMING.” The haunted house opened the first of October, and ended on Halloween, it was terrible, at one point he passed out, another frothed at the mouth, his screams were priceless, he clung to you more than a few times crying about being scared. Decked a few jump scare people, and at least twice went into Pikachu self defense mode and electrocuted the groups of workers around the two of you at least twice. Honestly, you were surprised they let you both keep coming back. But the last day, he managed to only let out squeaks and squeeze your arm and hands but he did it. Thirty one long nights of walking the same halls, jump scares, and voids, mesmerizing the right way of the maze, you mad wit out fine, he was only slightly shook.

Art? Denki doesn’t get it, claimed he can’t draw to save his life and when you watched him try you believed him, BUT THE COMPLETE AND UTTER SHOCK WHEN YOU FOUND OUT HE WAS BASICALLY AN ART MAJOR WHEN HE SHORT CIRCUITED..... you started saving his drawings and sketches, and then you’d show him and he’d be impressed, but completely denies that he ever did it. “Nope, you got the wrong guy, you’ve seen me, I can’t draw a circle.” But he loves to watch you paint, and take photos, but don’t take him to wildlife sets with you. He will get hired of waiting for birds and throw himself on the grass and start sighing loudly and rolling around, “Nothings coming y/n!” “MAYBE IF YOU SHUT UP THE BIRDS WOULDNT FLY AWAY LIKE ITS THE END OF THE WORLD!” Silence, you can definitely feel him staring you, “Well that’s just rude.... you scared off the only bird that was actually here.” Pottery? He watched you, and he wanted to try, the first time he ended up slinging clay everywhere, second he can’t keep his hands still enough, the third time you took pity and ended up like the cheesiest movie scene, but, you were behind him guiding his hands, he became a flustered mess and crushed the almost pot when you spoke to him and he felt your breath on his shoulder. He was blushing and flustered and then started apologizing for ruining the pot... in the end you both together did make a lopsided pot, it now sits in your room, home to your shared black prince succulent. When you brought it home he made anyone who would listen come see his first pot and new child.

⚡️✨✨⚡️⚡️✨⚡️⚡️⚡️✨⚡️⚡️✨✨⚡️

“Y/n?” You heard knocking and groaned getting up off your bed to open your door.

“I brought someone else to meet prince...” the look you gave him was one of ‘Are you sERIOUS?’

You closed your door a bit to look at the digital clock that was hanging just above your desk, 1:37 in the morning...

“It couldn’t wait till sun up?” You asked eyes kinda squinty as the hall light started to flood into your room now that you opened the door wider to let whoever in.

“It’s important everyone knows my new son!” He stepped in and you moved and plopped onto your desk chair.

“Alright, but be careful, you bruised one of his petals last time.” You stretched and looked at your abandoned school work, you looked at it reading the question you had struggled on, and by some miracle, being half groggy and half awake, you read it and the answer came to you. You started to write it down before you forgot. And you were so proud of yourself, until you heard the feminine voice.

“Kaminari, you’re an idiot.” And then a slightly muffled laugh.

You didn’t have a problem with Jiro, in fact you liked her as a friend, she was nice, had good taste in music, bullied Denki with you sometimes, friendly and you’ve never seen her angry or get snobbish with anyone. She was laid back and cool.

But, one thing you didn’t like, was the fact she was slowly becoming the center of Denki’s flirting. Jealous? Nahh....well....no.... maybe a little? Nope, nah that’s not it.......okay yeah.

“Y/n Chan! Jiro is bullying me.” He came and shook you by your shoulders pulling you from staring at your school work.

You turned your head to look up at him. “What?” You asked.

“She called me an idiot.” He pouted and closed his eyes.

You laughed and dropped a hand onto his head, after he kneeled to plead you defend him, “Oh Denki, if you want me to disagree it’s gonna be a long night.”

He pouted at your words but sighed in defeat, until the next words came, “So (y/n), if Denki’s son is in your room does that make you the mother of his son?”

You looked at Jiro a faint blush tinting your cheeks as you registered what she said. You gave a few quiet laughs but before you could say anything Denki became a stuttering flustered mess. Catching both of you and pulling you both out of the conversation that almost started.

“Well! (Y/n)! Well go! A Princess does need her beauty sleep!” He winked at you as he left in a hurry, Jiro just quirked a brow before she told you good night and you returned it as she left. You yawned and got back into bed, before your phone buzzed and you cursed, but the blush on your cheeks wirsned at the flirty text you’d gotten from Denki, you’d think you’d gotten used to it already, but maybe the feelings you thought you’d pushed away never really left the surface.

‘Good night princess 😉 Don’t forget to dream about me 💛’

Cringe yes, but that’s literally the best flirting line he has. Apparently getting comfortable with Denki meant he was comfortable flirting with you 24/7, no hesitation. And you enjoyed the attention and flirted back with him, but things kinda changed when Jiro started to give him attention too.

******

“Mornin’ babe,” you yawned at Denki’s greeting and gave a wave and small smile as you walked to a table and plopped down. You didn’t get much sleep, you finished your homework so now you had the weekend free, but what were you going to do? You stared at the empty table in front of you thinking about nothing, head empty, until Mina came and sat across from you, “So babe huh? Is it official!” She whisper screamed.

“Pfft, just about as official as me being All Might.” You had a small smile, small but genuine. “Boooooooo.” She pouted, “I have my own theories but I really want to tell you this one, soooo! Bakusquad girls day! But... just you and I. Get ready let’s go!”

So, after deciding you’d buy something to eat instead of cooking you got ready and then both you and Mina set off to talk theories and what’s really going on in her head. “So, I think he wants something serious but since you guys joke so much I think he thinks he’s in the friend zone and don’t even deny it I know you like him, I’ve seen the way you smile at all his stupid jokes even I don’t laugh at all of them and I try to be nice. Plus the way you loook a Jiro is enough to show your jealous but he doesn’t see that, I’m pretty sure he thinks you just don’t like her humor or something, but from what I’ve seen your good friends with her when Denki isn’t around so that lets me believe your jealous of his attention going to someone else. Soooo, what do you say? What do you think? And I think he’s trying with Jiro because you guys kinda have similar personalities and hair cuts? Well not really but you know? When your in love you call broccoli Midoriya and a grenade Bakugo but that’s a different story, so? What do you think?” You just stared at her, the takoyaki had with your toothpick just to far from your lips as you wondered if she was right. A shot smile pulled at your lips as you looked down and closed your eyes to let out a sigh, “Well, I won’t say your wrong, I’ve done lot of things but being in denial has never been one of them. I’m not going to confess or anything but I do have one question.” You looked at Mina through the corner of your eyes while your face was still pointed to the ground. “Yes!” She cheered and nodded looking at you with a big smile, “If this is about a plan I’ve got it all figured out so don’t worry!”

You shook your head and faced her completely, “Nope! Keep the plan well use it later but, if I do something about this Denki thing you have to so something about tape boy.” Mina became flustered at your words but nodded, “well, your first lady she smacked you back causing you to slightly choke on the Takoyaki you’d finally started to eat, after catching your breath and wondering around for a bit you both talked it out and it’s go time.

****

The next morning you started the plan (titled by Mina) “Seducing Pikachu” Taking a deep breath you readied yourself to take your flirting next level, he called you babe you had to call him daddy, he gave you a hug you pulled his face down to peck his cheek, he draped an arm over your shoulders you had snuggle closer and hug his waist, he tried to tease you by taking your hand you can’t pull away, in stead you interlock fingers and squeeze, if he leaned into your ear to whisper something you can’t push him away. And we’re you ready? No, in fact you felt queasy, and like you had to bathroom, but with a shove from Mina you entered the kitchen and like usual “Good morning babe!” And the usual flirty wink, but this time instead of getting flustered or yawing you locked eye contact and with everything you had, “Mornin Daddy.” You smiled at him and walked to the fridge to try and occupy yourself. In the background you heard Mineta screaming about the name daddy. You looked at Denki with the same smile after grabbing a juice and he was flustered, red cheeks and it looked like his hair had fluffed up a bit. It’s working! You waved at him and walked to the common room and sat down on one edge and looked at the tv, it was playing some show about volleyball. Jiro came and sat across from you on the other sofa joining you and a few others in watching this show, right now, the only empty seats are the spot next to you on the love seat, or the two seats beside Jiro. He sat by you and was strangely quiet, oh gave him a smile when he turned to look a you, he smiled and looked at the tv, after an hour or two your hands began fiddling with the juice in your lap and you felt a tug at your hand, you felt Denki place his hand on yours usually you’d pull away and punch his shoulder, but this time. You didn’t take your eyes of the tv when your intertwined your fingers and squeezed his hand. You brought your other hand and squeezed his hand between both of yours and snuggled closer to his side and laid your head against his shoulder, he tensed a bit then relaxed quickly. He laid his head on yours and you eyed Mina real quick, you gave you a thumbs up and you motioned to Sero with your eyes and she stopped and pouted. After another hour you started to get up and pull away from Denki. You felt a hand pull at yours and you looked at Denki, “Where are you going?” You titled your head, “Gonna go buy lunch maybe.” He looked up at you still holding your hand, “Don’t leave me.” He said, “Come with me then.” You gave his arm a tug and without second thought he jumped up outside you were cool, but inside, you were going ballistic, inside you were nothing like usual, you were honestly so surprised that this plan was working, with your attention he didn’t even pay attention to Jiro,,,, were you really jealous?

Getting to a ramen place you both sat down and filled our sheets with your orders, casually sitting in silence your phone dinged, “So.... did he confess? Or do women really have to do all the work, 🙄, Sero didn’t understand what I meant until I- never mind, how’s it going?”

You smiled at the message and shook your head.

Denki being curious why you were smiling tried to peek, “Mina is trying to confess to Sero and she says he’s an idiot.” You smiled and turned to Denki explaining before he could see.

“Yeah, I didn’t wanna say anything sometimes Sero isn’t the smartest.”

You felt a smile pulling at your lips, “Yeah, I know someone else who is just the same.” You propped your elbows on the table and placed your chin on your palms. He did the same and pushed his cheeks so they looked chubby against his palms.

“Kaminari,” you called his name in a chirpy tune with a smile, he closed his eyes and smiled before he said your name in the same way.

****

“How good are you at noticing small things?” I asked and tilted my head. “Hmmm, did you grow out your hair?” His head tilted, and he smiled.

“No? It’s been this short for a while.” I dropped my arms flat against the table palms up, “try again.”

“Yooouuuu,,,, are wearing contacts?” He asked. “I’m not blind.”

“Yoouuuuu.....are trying a different Boba?” “No... well yes, but not what I’m talking about......try one more time and I’ll give you a hint if you can’t guess.”

He nodded and squinted at me looking like he was concentrating hard.

“I know!” He took my hands in his and squeezed them, I felt my heart start to race, “You’re fingers are cold, the tips are turning reddish.”

I smiled and looked away and licked my top lip trying to not laugh, “That wasn’t it but a good guess.”

“Then what is it?” He asked pouting.

“Close your eyes.” I said and waved a hand, he nodded and then closed them, I placed my finger tips on the left side of his jaw and tried to pull him closer, after getting him halfway across the table I leaned forward and lightly pressed my lips against his cheek.

I pulled away, and moved my hand away from his jaw.

“I...so think you should try again, I didn’t get the hint.” He looked away with a bush slowly becoming prominent on his cheek.

I smiled and shook my head, silence fell over us as I shifted around, “Another hint huh?”

“Maybe just one... or two... or a few....” he still didn’t look at me hands now fiddling together.

“You know, for a flirt you sure do get nervous when someone actually makes a move on you.”

“Heh, yeah.” He was smiling but not looking at me, “Sooo, when?”

“Do you remember the day, you got sick and made me baby you for a whole week? It was that Thursday, you feel asleep on my chest, and I held you and had to pull the blanket off, I realized then, how much I cared about you, and how much I’m willing to do to make sure you’re okay. I realized how much I love your terrible jokes and cheesy pick up lines, your warm hugs and the face times late into the night, and the movie nights passing out at three in the morning and rushing to class when we woke up late. Holing your hand when you were scared, and bullying Bakugo, honestly, I wouldn’t wanna die at the hands of Bakugo with anyone else. I’m not saying I love you or anything, but if this is what falling for someone feels like...I don’t not like it, especially when it’s you.” I looked out the window we sat by and could feel his stare, I looked at him through the corner of my eye.

“I wouldn’t want to be murdered with anyone else.” He held his hand out and I tilted my head to look at him, I took placed my hand on his and he smiled, before he shifted his fingers and closed them around mine. I smiled and closed my fingers squeezing his hand.

“So? Are you going to ask?” He said.

I felt my brows furrow, “Ask?”

“Ask me to be your boyfriend.” His smile widened.

“You’re supposed to ask me!” I scolded and shook our hands.

He tucked his head between his shoulders, “okay okay, fine.... now you’re going to wait because you yelled at me.”

***

“Y/n!” I turned to look for the person who called my name, “yeah?” I asked and pulled my blanket tighter, the Christmas season was here and I was freezing on the sofa.

“Come look! The snows falling again! And the it’s pretty on the blossoms that are still around.”

“Fine.” I grumbled and stood up, I walked to the second floor windows and looked out. Sero, Denki, Kirishima and Bakugo were all outside, I could hear Katsuki screaming at them while the ran around dropping things on the floor.

They all stopped and moved away as Bakugo screamed at them and took off his gloves, it looked like he was grumbling something until Denki slung an arm I’ve this shoulders, Bakugo brought up his hand causing sparks and Denki to smile nervously before patting his shoulder and moving his arm off.

Mina tapped on the window and they looked at us, we waved when three of the four waved. Denki turned to Bakugo and with a simple blast a chain reaction started and lit up a circle, inside the circle were the words made in very sparse but still pretty blossoms, “will u be mine?” Your phone began to ring and you answered it.

“So, after two months of non official dating, will you be mine?”

You smiled, “Yes, Kaminari, yes.” You swallowed and over the phone you heard cheering and watched to em high five minus Bakugo who was pulling his gloves back on. That night, you spent under the blue keys you two piled high, his head on your chest, and you kissed his head running your fingers through his hair, “I love listening to your heart, it’s pretty, like you.” Your take his face in your hands and kiss his lips or forehead, and eventually would change spots, still cuddling to keep the warmth and love between you while the rest of the world was slipping into sleep or madness.

✨🤍🖤🤍🤍💙🤍🤍🖤🤍✨

I hope you have a good day, and remember to stay hydrated 💙

[leah-halliwell92]

Romanian Rhapsody

Summary: Almost two years before Dracula awakens, Dr. May Van Helsing is abroad gathering her own information on the legendary vampire. Years have passed since Jonathan Harker’s visit to what should be the ruins of Castle Dracula. Years since the village people have spoken or even warned anyone away from it. What will May find the deeper she digs into the Count’s home?

Previously: 

May shrugged not knowing what to think, “I don’t know and right now I don’t have time to worry I’ve to undo what she and her team have done to my domain.”

Sam and Raven shared a look but understood where she’s coming from so let her be. It had been two years so there are things that need to be put to rights.

Chapter 1 – Chapter 2 – Chapter 3 – Chapter 4

Chapter 5

A couple of days later, May found herself breathing a sigh of relief as she slumped backwards on her chair. Because she’d finally managed to get all the records and files in order, the physical files were all in their respective homes, the more sensitive ones have been put back in their locked cabinet, for these she made a note to change the locks and keep the spare key close. 

Raven and Sam had been running themselves ragged along with her when it came to not only organizing the archives room but also the area in general. Just as lunch rolled around, Sam and Raven walked in take away bags in hand. 

“I know you don’t condone eating real food in here but I’m in no mood to deal with the likes of one Dr. Jack Seward today,” Sam said as she took a seat in one of the spare chairs in May’s office.

“What did he do this time?” May asked as she picked up the containers that were respectively filled with wonton soup, white rice, stir fried vegetables and Mongolian beef. Luckily the trio likes the same Chinese food, sharing between them is no issue.

“You know that girl from accounting?” Sam asked with a hum. 

Raven and May nodded at this as they began to eat. 

“The little bugger decided to bad mouth me in front of her and now she refuses to go out with me,” Sam seethed as she too served herself a plate. 

The trio sighed heavily at this. 

Jack seemed to make it his life mission to drive them mad whenever they don’t do as he orders them to. He had Zoe around his finger, Bloxham is cow that has her own agenda, and the rest of the foundation bar a select few follow his lead as if it were the most natural thing in the world all because of what she and her friends do for and in the foundation. 

“Why the hell did I decide it was a good idea to have a crush on him?” May groaned. 

“Because at first glance he is smart, looks to be sensitive, is cute and so happens to work where you work,” Sam listed off nonchalantly. 

Raven nodded agreeing with Sam’s list before saying, “And then he let his colors show, saw an in to the archives through the crush you have for him and abused that thinking he could get away with it.”

“Which lead to me leaving for two years to move my delusional ass on from this pointless crush,” May said with a shake of her head at her own naivety. 

“Don’t,” Sam said voice firm.

“What,” May said with brows raised. 

“It’s not naive to hope,” Sam said still firm, “It’s not naive to want to have something good in your life and it’s not naive to hope to find it where you work...i.e where you spend most of your time as it is.”

May nodded numbly taking in what her friend had said. Sam’s right, to be naive is one thing and to be hopeful is another, it irked her some to see she still needed to learn the difference between the two. 

The trio continued to eat in silence enjoying the when Raven groaned nearly spilling her food as she did. 

“What?” Sam asked curiously. 

“Did you both forget what today is?” Raven asked incredulously. 

May and Sam exchanged puzzled look the latter giving their friend a shrug. 

“Its Valentines Day weekend,” she said still shocked that she’d forgotten. 

May groaned loudly as Sam looked like she at the canary. 

“Zoe’s probably not going to be here for too long,” Sam said knowingly. 

“The foundation will pretty much be empty bar the stupidly thin skeleton crew,” May added with a nod.

“And I need to get Eva something,” Raven said with a sigh. 

“Hey do you still have that coupon I gave you for that place down the street from me?” Sam asked as if she’d gotten the best idea of the year. 

Raven nodded with a blush.

“Let’s go and see what they have then,” she said with a wiggle of her brows, “You’ve been whining about not having a proper toy to have with your wife for ages. Maybe it’s time for that dream to come true.”

May laughed at the look on Raven’s face and said, “Come on Rae, you know she’s right.”

Raven huffed a laugh and nodded along with her friends. 

The day progressed with a buzz that hadn’t been there before for May. It now carried with it an energy she wished she could ignore. Alas, she’d do as she’d always done and keep moving forward. 

She was on her last break of the day when Sam sent her a text that both Jack and Zoe had been to the archive and taken with them a couple of files each to the cage floor. A welcomed and appreciated heads up from Sam May had to say. That’s how the dance went between Zoe, Jack and her. Avoidance is the best factor, or so they have said. 

She went to her office her break no over to see which files were missing. She rolled here eyes at the selection and wrote them down on a sticky note to take up with her when it was her turn to grind the midnight oil. May didn’t like working nights, she hated it, but it beat seeing the lust sick fools on the streets trying to flirt their way into her bed. No matter how many times Sam has sad a one night stand is not bad idea depending on one’s mood. 

May spend the rest of the afternoon compiling the pieces she’d gathered from her study of Castle Dracula to be added to the already existing file originally put together from what the late Mr. Harker had told the nuns at the monastery. She’d found she had to correct somethings here and there but most of the stuff already on file fit the information she’d gathered. She’d thought about giving Zoe their great-grandmother’s notes and diaries but decided against it. Because as much as she wanted to blame her death on Dracula, she felt there was more to this than what they’d been led to believe. 

Jack had been down here and there trying to charm files out of her. Having had enough she’d rejected his advances and demanded he go through the proper channels to gain access to the files he was requesting. The pinched look on his face told her enough. But like hell would she be cowed because he didn’t like it when people told him no. 

“Don’t you need a slice of humble pie,” Sam said as she sauntered in looking more than ready to leave the foundation for the night, “Zoe sent me to tell you she’s looking for you.”

Jack seemed to have an uncanny resemblance to Percy Weasley with how he glared at Sam but did as bid and left.

“You sure you want to stay?” She asked May once Jack was out of earshot. 

May nodded and said, “Better here than out there. Stupid prick wants to use my crush for him to get what he wants when Lucy is doing just that.”

“Except unlike Lucy, you won’t spread your legs for just anyone,” Sam said knowingly. 

May grinned at that and nodded. 

“Seriously though, are you sure? I could cancel and we can have a night laughing at violent slasher movies?” Sam said worried for her best friend. 

“Don’t worry about me Sam,” May reassured, “Better here where there is quiet than out there. Plus if Zoe needs me I’ll already be here so I won't have her nagging about not doing my work.”

Sam nodded not convinced but let things be. She bid May good night and made her way to the elevator to head home. She saw Zoe and Jack talking quietly to each other on her way out. 

“She needs to do as she is ordered,” she heard Jack say derogatorily, “She’s a pencil pusher there to give us the files we need and put them back.”

“She’s more than that Jack–”

“No Zoe don't give me that,” he snapped, “You don't even believe that yourself and you know it. She’s nothing but a glorified secretary.”

Sam stopped at that and turned to face the couple. 

Zoe caught the heated look Sam was sending them and at least had the decency to look ashamed. 

“She’s your sister,” Sam said voice ice cold, “You’re supposed to defender against pricks like this like she's done for you on so many other occasions. Do you really doubt her so much that you’d fail her in this manner?”

Zoe paled at this knowing Sam is right before finding a certain spot on her shoes very interesting all of the sudden. 

“And you,” she said looking to a now nervous Jack, “What’s the matter? Can’t have the one you want so you bully the one that’s had it for you since we began working here? How much more cowardly can you get?”

Turning back to Zoe she said, “You know it’s times like this when I realize that even Ted Bundy would have been a good bloke to date for your sister compared to this clown, good night.”

00//00//00

Don’t forget to leave feedback and reblog!!

Dracula Tag-List: @kaddis-world, @count-snackula  @your-pixels-are-showing​, @peachlogiic​, @the-life-and-times-of-a-nerd​, @lokiisbrucebanner​, @deny-black​, @drsherlockmoffat​, @festering-queen​, @ashashashashashie​, @hoefordarkness​,  @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​, @glamrockmonarch​, @damesteph​, @carydorse​, @allis143​, @break-free-killer-queen​, @bloodspatteredprincess​, @dracula-s-bride​, @disneymarina​ @thebeautyofdisorder​, @purvana​, @hyacinth-meadow​, @rheabalaur​, @chibicheeberson​, @camille-stark​, @hopipollahorror​, @lets-talk-about-claes-baby​

[alj4890]

A Second Chance

(Thomas Hunt x oc*Amanda)

A/N:  We are picking up directly after Thomas showed up at Amanda’s suite door and told Kathleen he was her father. The rest of this chapter shows what follows after such a revelation.

Tagging some of my fellow Mr. Hunt lovers. @lxaah11​ @alleksa16​ @penguininapinktuxedo​ @blackcoffee85​ @stopforamoment​  @hopefulmoonobject​   @krsnlove​   @annekebbphotography​ @hopelessromantic1352​ . @sunflowergirl05​  @desireepow-1986​ @greywitchyshots​ @lilyofchoices​ @moodyvalentinestories​ @emceesynonymroll​ @my-heart-beats-for-ya​ @aworldoffandoms​ @ab1901​  @flyawayboo​ @i-bloody-love-drake-walker . @trappedinfandoms  @kate-mckenzie

Catch up here with Chapter 1

Masterlist

Chapter 2

Kathleen's eyes widened. "Mommy?"

Amanda seemed to snap out of her shock. She knelt beside her. "Kathleen, you remember when I showed you the pictures of the man, I said was your father?"

She nodded. "You said he was at work. That's why he couldn't be with us."

Amanda swallowed nervously. She had hated telling her daughter that lie. "That's right. Well, he's had a chance to come see you. This is your father." She stood up and silently pleaded he be kind and not hurt Kathleen's feelings.

The little girl hid somewhat behind her mother's skirt and peeked out shyly at him.

Thomas gentled his voice to try and put her at ease. "Kathleen, you have a very pretty name."

She mumbled. "Thank you."

Thomas stood upright and stepped forward. "Amanda, why didn't you tell me?"

Her hazel eyes clouded in confusion. "Tell you what?"

He gestured silently toward their daughter.

"But you knew. Kara Bennett said you did and didn't want either..." She trailed off when she saw both sadness and anger contort his handsome features.

"I never knew." He whispered harshly. "I came to Cordonia multiple times and was refused to be told where you were by your servants. No one bothered to mention that you had given birth to my child."

Kathleen eased out from behind Amanda. She reached out and touched his hand.

Thomas paused in his denial and looked down at her. He relaxed his fingers and watched as she slipped her little hand in his.

Amanda knew this meeting was inevitable and stepped back. "Please, come in."

He allowed Kathleen to lead him over to the couch.

"Daddy?" She whispered in a tone filled with nervousness and uncertainty.

He swallowed uneasily. He had no idea how to act around this little girl. "Yes?"

Her smile reminded him of Amanda's, down to the one dimple that formed on the left corner of her lips. "You'll stay?"

He nodded, thinking she meant for the moment. "Yes, of course."

She leaned closer toward him. It was unnerving to have his own intense eyes focused on him. "I'm like my friends? I have a daddy."

Amanda chewed on her bottom lip. She hadn't realized how much Kathleen had missed having a father. She should have. She should have tried harder to make Thomas be a part of their child's life. Her stubbornness in denying they needed him had done this.

"Yes, you do." Thomas glanced up at Amanda for guidance. Was he screwing this up?

Kathleen stepped closer. Her voice still held a great deal of uncertainty. "Can I, um, have a hug?"

His arms reached out and he grunted when she threw herself into his embrace. Her little arms were wrapped tight around his neck. He rested his head against hers and held her, wishing he had known this little creature from the beginning.

Amanda lifted her eyes up, trying not to cry. How many nights had she wished Thomas had been there, having a sweet relationship with the one perfect part of their time together?

"Excuse me." She mumbled when another knock was at the door.

"Room Service." The porter pushed in a cart loaded down with covered dishes. He greeted Thomas and Kathleen while waiting on Amanda to finish signing the receipt.

"Thank you." Amanda said after adding his tip.

Kathleen wiggled out of Thomas's arms and held his hand. "Can Daddy eat with us?"

"I'm not that hungry." He stated, not wanting to put them to any trouble. He didn’t know if he could swallow a sip of water with how stunned he was by this revelation holding his hand.

"We ordered a number of dishes since neither of us could decide what we really wanted." Amanda interrupted. "Feel free to eat whatever you like."

Kathleen sat down beside him and smiled. "Do you like grilled cheese?"

Thomas nodded. "I do."

"Mommy! Daddy likes grilled cheese like we do!" Kathleen yelled out when Amanda walked into the kitchen of their suite for some extra plates.

"Is that so?" Amanda smiled at her happiness. "I know you and your father share a number of characteristics."

"We do?" She sat on her knees and pulled on Thomas's arm. She began to question him on everything from favorite holidays to his favorite kind of chocolate.

When she asked him what animal with stripes was his favorite, Amanda laughed.

"Sweetheart, why don't you eat and give your father a break? I want that tummy of yours to feel good tomorrow. We don't want to cancel our plans."

"Can Daddy come with us to the zoo?" She asked. "You want to come with us, don't you?"

Thomas met Amanda's eyes. He searched for any sign that she didn't want him to. "I would like to."

Kathleen beamed at him as she settled more against his side. She split her grilled cheese sandwich and handed him half. "Here you go."

Thomas took it and smiled at her sweetness. If he had only known of her existence, he could have had moments like this with both his daughter and Amanda.

He quietly observed mother and daughter's behaviors and words toward one another. His lips had remained in a near permanent smile at the apparent love between them.

Once dessert had been shared among the three of them, Amanda announced it was bedtime.

Kathleen pouted slightly. "But Daddy's here."

Amanda laughed. "That doesn't mean time has stopped." She picked her up and leaned her forehead against Kathleen's. Their noses rubbed, causing the little girl to giggle.

Thomas thought it was one of the sweetest sounds he had ever heard.

"Go brush your teeth and then I'll tuck you in." Amanda sat her back down and nudged her toward her room.

"Yes mam." She stopped and hugged Thomas. "You'll tuck me in too?"

"I will." He promised, smoothing her hair out of her little heart shaped face.

She hurried off leaving Amanda and Thomas alone for the first time.

He cleared his throat, breaking the tense silence. "She's amazing."

Amanda's smile turned tender. "Yes, she is." Her eyes lowered from his. "I knew you would think so if you ever met her."

Thomas stepped closer and gently caressed her cheek. "I know we have a lot to discuss." He tilted her chin up. "But there hasn't been a day that has gone by when I didn't think of you nor stopped missing you."

Amanda could feel herself drawn toward him as his lips lowered. She forced herself to step back. "I missed you for the longest time." She straightened her shoulders. "But we need to talk over everything...including that."

He dropped his hand and followed her into Kathleen's room. The little girl said her prayers and then hopped into bed. She had several stuffed animals on and under the covers.

"I can't wait to go to the zoo." Kathleen told them.

"Seems like you already have your own personal zoo right here." Thomas remarked.

She giggled again and started telling him the names of all her toys.

Amanda chuckled and shook her head. "You can introduce him to the rest tomorrow." She pressed a kiss to her cheek and covered her up. "Snug enough?"

Kathleen nodded and repeated their usual bedtime rhyme. "As a bug in a rug." She looked over at Thomas. "Goodnight Daddy."

He leaned down and gently kissed her forehead. She hugged him again before settling down.

Amanda led him out and left the door cracked open.

"We need to keep our voices down while we talk." She excused herself for a moment, leaving him on the couch as she went into the other bedroom.

Thomas couldn't sit still and began to pace while waiting on her to return. His thoughts and nerves were on edge with all he had discovered this evening. He had hoped, since it was a Cordonian hosted charity event, to find out where Amanda had been all this time. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought she had given birth alone.

He had removed his jacket earlier and had loosened his tie. He went ahead and took it off. He unbuttoned the top three buttons of his dress shirt. He knew he would need air once they began to talk.

Amanda reappeared with a black binder. She hesitated a moment and then handed it to him. "I've made certain to carry this with me whenever I travel in case I ever bumped into you." She sat down in a chair near the couch. "I began filming Kathleen from her birth. I didn't want you to miss seeing her as the months and years passed."

He opened it and read the titles of the numerous discs. Each one had a date listed. The birthdays and holidays were all there. Her first time sitting up. First crawl. First step. First word. So many things he had missed.

"You made this for me?" His voice was raspy with emotion. "You did all this though you thought I didn't want anything to do with either of you?"

Amanda nodded. "I think a part of me couldn't believe the man I had known wouldn't want to know his own child."

He set the binder to the side and focused on her. "Why didn't you try to contact me?"

"I did the night she was born. I called a few times. You never answered and the mailbox was full." She explained.

"You could have called the studio. Called Addison or Holly. Anyone! You could have come back to California and demanded to see me." He argued. "Why did you give up?"

 Her eyes narrowed. "I returned to California when I found out we were having a girl, hoping you might be willing to hear me out this time. But then I ran into your Kara that you were sending flowers to. She told me at my most vulnerable point that you didn't want me or our child. Your lack of contact seemed to back up her claims that you were glad to be rid of us." 

She straightened her shoulders and looked him in the eye. "My reasons for not pursuing you after Kathleen’s birth were simple: I was caring for an infant. I was unsure with everything and centered my every thought on raising her. During the search for Cordonia's next queen, I was asked by Liam's father to reside at my estate in the Highlands. He didn't want to take a chance on the people possibly wanting a single mother as his son's wife. Then I was ordered to remain there by Liam when the attacks from the Sons of the Earth occurred. I remained in the Highlands while Liam and Riley dealt with some other problems that struck Cordonia. I haven’t been home since shortly after Kathleen was born."

"Those were the times I was in Cordonia." Thomas admitted. "I came hoping we could have a second chance. The months apart had been agony."

She rolled her eyes, feeling very little sympathy for his plight. "Imagine them pregnant with the belief that you were unwanted."

"I am sorry you went through all that. I promise I would have been with you during every step if I had known." He reached over and took her hand. "I never gave up on finding you. Each year I attended charity events that I knew you used to support, hoping to see you there."

Amanda slowly shook her head. "As sweet as that is, I'm afraid the version of me you searched for is no longer here." She held his unwavering gaze. "I've changed since having Kathleen."

He took her hand between both of his. "I would be surprised if that experience had not brought about change." He lifted her hand to his lips. "I would like the opportunity to know who you are now."

Her fingers trembled slightly in his grasp. "I'm not sure that is such a good idea. I at one time hoped you would want both me and Kathleen. Now, I am only concerned that she has a relationship with you."

"She deserves to have a family with both her parents." He countered. "I never stopped loving you. I believe if you give me a chance, you will see that we are meant to be together."

 She chuckled. "Meant to be? Like Fate has a hand in our destiny?" Her lips twisted in a bitter smile. "After everything that happened, I don't believe in any of that anymore." She cocked an eyebrow at him. "You, yourself, used to doubt such romantic nonsense."

"Once I lost you, I realized that there was some truth in it. There is such a thing as the perfect person for everyone." He gripped her hand. "I tried to date others after that first year without you and I tried again last year. No one could hope to compare to you."

Amanda had to harden her heart to the very words she had once dreamed of hearing. She didn't know if she wanted to fall in love with Thomas again. She had done quite well on her own. Did she really want to have all the excitement and uncertainty of romance again?

Thomas watched the conflicting emotions flicker on her face. "I don't need an answer right now. I only wanted to express what my hope is. I will begin any type of relationship you want for the time being."

Amanda's eyes cut to him. She thought of now knowing he was innocent in all she had held against him. She then remembered how much she missed having him in any form in her life. "Thank you." She laced her fingers with his and squeezed his hand. With Kathleen growing up, she knew she would want his input in her upbringing. "I wouldn't mind us being friends again."

He forced a smile. It wasn't what he wanted to hear, but hopefully he could change her mind as time went on. "How long are you planning on remaining in New York?"

"A week." She smiled at him. "Kathleen's birthday is Wednesday. She loves musicals and The Wizard of Oz. I am going to surprise her by taking her to see Wicked." She tugged his hand. "Why don't you come with us?"

 "I would love to." He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. "Where are you going after New York?"

"Back to Cordonia. I have so much to catch up on after years of absence." She explained.

"I don't suppose I could come with you." He offered. "I don't have any films or such planned. This could give me an opportunity to get to know Kathleen." And try and win you, he thought.

 "She would love that." Amanda's smile was the happiest he had seen all night. "You are more than welcome to stay with us." Her lips trembled with mirth. "Goodness knows, we have plenty of guest rooms."

"Thank you." He let go of her hand and stood up. He reached for the binder she had given him. "Perhaps you and Kathleen would like to come to my suite for breakfast in the morning."

"She loves to sleep late like me." Amanda admitted with a laugh. "Why don't we say ten thirty?"

"Perfect." He gave her his room number while she wrote her cell down.

Pausing at the door, Thomas pulled her close for a hug. He felt her stiffen before relaxing in his embrace.

"I can't express how happy I am that I finally found you." He whispered.

"I…I am too." She admitted a touch breathlessly. She closed her eyes at that feeling that had long laid dormant that she had only felt when in his arms. Safety, reassurance, and cherished mixed together in a warm, soothing feeling.

His lips brushed her cheek as he let her go. She stumbled back and nervously tucked a short lock of hair behind her ear. She tried to keep her voice from shaking. "Goodnight, Thomas."

"Goodnight, Amanda."

***********

He spent the rest of his evening watching disc after disc of Kathleen from birth to a ballet recital performed a little over a week ago.

He swallowed the last of the third glass of scotch he had poured. Seeing his daughter become the little girl she was now had been eye opening. His heart was practically bursting with pride over having a hand in her creation.

It also ached with even more love for Amanda. Each disc had a sentence or more of her talking as if the two of them were standing beside one another while watching their child in wonder. 

As a baby and toddler, the camera was dropped often while she rushed after a quick Kathleen. Amanda's laughter followed their little one as she tried to stop the tiny runaway.

Birthday's and Christmases had someone else filming while Amanda held their daughter. Seeing the wide-eyed wonder on Kathleen’s face drew him in, but it was Amanda's that captivated and held him. Her joy and love couldn't be contained with their child. It was something he had only glimpsed in her before. That was what had caused him to fall in love the first time.

Watching her, he realized the truth. Amanda believed herself changed. He knew that wasn't it at all. The only changes the camera revealed were that those qualities he had admired so much in the beginning of their relationship had only become enhanced with the birth of Kathleen. Amanda was still the same, only much more desirable in every way.

That was why no one else had managed to steal his heart. Thomas wanted that type of love and affection. He knew she was the only one capable of giving that depth and quality of the emotion to him.

After years of trying to capture these honest emotions behind the camera, he caught every simple touch, every heartfelt word. The camera didn't lie. It revealed everything he so desperately wanted.

For a man that had found himself not really caring what path he took after his last film, he was now seriously focused on and planning every strategy he could use. Thomas would be the father Kathleen needed. He was going to do all he could to make Amanda fall in love with him again. He would make the three of them a family.

[shreddedparchment]

Shattered Glass Pt.02

A Taste of Heaven

07/15/2019

Pairing: Tony x Reader, Steve x Reader    Word Count: 9,198

Masterpost     Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, angst, casual sex, language

A/N: Oh, boy. I have not edited this much. The beginning is edited because I’ve been working on it for several days. Working myself up to finishing this piece because I needed it to be done because it’s...well, you’ll see. The first part was a prompt for @moonbeambucky ‘s challenge. I hope you like it. Lots of fluff in this one.

Kisses in the morning.

Soft, full-bodied cuddles at night where every curve of his body meets yours.

Tight embraces from behind while you dress and try to pull on your pants only to have Steve slip his hands down along your waist, pushing them back down until you’re laughing as you trip over your feet.

You’re forced to step out of your pants, and he bends down, hooking his hands beneath your thighs then lifts you, kisses you while you laugh and wrap your legs around his waist.

He sneaks you up to the roof and steals some food from the kitchen. He spreads a blanket and after you eat you lay your head on his shoulder and count the stars with him until you fall asleep.

Another night you clutch your blanket, knuckles straining as you fight the horror of your nightmares. Always the same. Always you killing them.

Steve wakes you with soft caresses and sweet whispers of safety. You cling to him, trembling until your lips search for his and he fucks you until you can’t remember waking up because of bad dreams.

Another day he sits between your legs as you play with his hair and he groans and moans in all the sexy ways you’ve come to know, and you laugh because he’s being so ridiculous and over the top with the pleasure your scratching gives him. He likes your laugh and he turns around and pounces. You make him groan and moan again but this time he really means it and you love the way he sounds.

He kisses you senseless until you’re melting beneath him, a puddle of ecstasy.

He sneaks into your room.

He sneaks out of your room.

He keeps you hidden and you’re not sure why, but it feels nice to keep things quiet but also sad. You’re not even sure why.

Private. Secret. It’s just you and Steve…and in the darkness of your mind…Tony. He’s the afterthought of every blissful moment, tainting it with want and a wish.

A wish for Tony. It’s there every time you look at Steve during debrief and then turn your eye on Tony to stare because you can’t go more than a few minutes without looking at him.

Steve doesn’t even betray the secret of you two with a longing look but all you can do is stare at Tony with all your want for him out on display for everyone to see.

You hate yourself for it.

If Steve sees it, he doesn’t say. Tony is forbidden in your distraction bubble. There where it’s only you and Steve, though Tony may be in your thoughts, Steve is your focus. No one but you and Steve exist in the bubble and he never disturbs the sanctity of your peace with a question about your longing.

It’s been months of beautiful moments like this but today the bed dips, a familiar sink of weight that turns you over, left hand searching for the familiar muscular forearm.

It’s half covered today, soft black long sleeves pushed up to his elbow. You run your thumb across the surprisingly smooth skin.

He lifts his arm, making your hand slide down until he can take it. He holds it.

“What’s happened?” You ask, slightly concerned by the slump of Steve’s shoulders.

“Nothing.” Steve says, low, deep. It’s intimate, this voice that he uses with you.

He never used it before things changed. Before the two of you got together.

Now, it’s as known to you as the weight of his body over yours. You know it like you know the press of his sweaty chest against your bare back, strong thighs pounding against you from behind.

Last night had been different. Last night had felt strange.

Usually, love with Steve feels…you never wonder if he wants you because you can feel it in every thrust. Every moan. Every lurid whisper in your ear.

Last night he'd resisted. He’d hesitated.

~~~~~~~~~~

You slide your hand along the back wide spread of his shoulders.

He’s still sweaty from his work out with Sam. He smells good, all manly musk and the faint hints of his shampoo still clinging to his hair.

“Y/N…” He warns, sighing against your touch.

“Yeah, baby?” You wrap yourself around his back, curling and gyrating against him.

“Y/N.” He warns again, but the stern voice only burns you more. It heats you up making you itch for him.

“Oh, Steve…” You whisper in his ear.

He jerks you around, grabbing both of your wrists in one hand while his other rests against your back as he holds you in his lap, angled away from him so that he can look at your face.

You’re startled. There’s no denying that. Rejection from Steve is something you’re not used to.

You bite your bottom lip, all lust driven from you as you watch the careful but pained scowl on his face.

“Did I do something?” You check, thinking back the past ten minutes, the past several hours, the past few days.

Everything has been the same as always. Steve leaves, he comes to find you. You leave. You find him. You take solace in each other. You share affection and pass the time and enjoy each other then he asks as he always does if it’s still him.

You never answer. You just hold Steve tighter. You kiss him longer. You fuck him slower. You show him that your body is his even of your heart isn’t.

You hate yourself for it.

Steve’s face relaxes, turning soft and although it’s still pained, he’s reading the rejection in your eyes, the quiver in your lip.

He pulls you closer, lifting your hands up and over his head as he buries his face into your chest.

You hug him close, wrap your legs around his waist and settle onto his lap as you stroke his hair, caressing the back of his head.

“Steve…?” You probe.

“I’m sorry.” He speaks into your chest, sending hot spots of his breath against your breasts. “This last mission was tough.”

He finally looks up at you, searching your eyes for what secrets they might confess.

You know he’s lying. You can hear it, see it, taste it on him. He’s gotten good at lying to you but you’ve gotten better at reading him.

You ignore his lie, the way he ignores the way your mind wanders at times when your mind is full of Tony.

“Kiss me, doll face.” He orders, and you’re quick to obey.

You grind down on him, kissing him with fervor to appease that lie he had to tell. But something is different. Something’s changed.

Steve holds you tighter. He kisses you with breathtaking passion. He fucks you deep, slow, an ache of sorrow in each thrust.

You meet his enthusiasm and try to answer his searching agony with your own confused reassurance.

It almost feels as if he’s saying goodbye and you definitely can’t handle that.

~~~~~~~~~~

“I’ve got a date.” He says and the announcement catches you by surprise.

You let it sit and settle for only a split second because that’s all you can give Steve. Any longer and he'll see it as something more than it is. Surprise.

“That’s great, Steve.” You turn your gaze up to the ceiling because this is what his lovemaking had meant last night.

The way he'd held you and pulled you to him, almost wistfully, with an edge of regret. It was all because of this. He’s moving on.

“We knew this would happen one day, right?” The question is rhetorical, and he knows it. He doesn’t look at you and you keep your eyes averted too.

You can’t blame him. You’ve given him what you can and unfortunately that isn’t enough. You’re still hopelessly hung up on Tony.

His fingers caress the center of your palm. Trying to catch your attention, but you can’t look at him yet.

His news needs to settle. It needs to not be so painful because even if you don’t love Steve like you love Tony, for a while at least, Steve has been yours. He’s been someone who wants you.

You’ve had so little of that in your life.

“Y/N?” He checks, placing his left arm over you as he twists so that he can try and see your face a bit better, trapping you in the triangle of his arm and torso.

You turn away from him, onto your right. He adjusts, laying beside you, spooning up behind you until every bit of his body is pressed against every bit of yours.

“It’s a lot harder than we thought it would be.” He admits, his lips pressed soft against the shell of your ear.

You don’t answer him, but he tightens his arms around you, taking your hands in his own and wrapping you up tight.

“Can you give me more?” He asks, a whisper of wind, warm and wet as he presses his lips closer to your ear.

You break a little bit, shutting your eyes because you want to say yes. You want to tell him that you can give him more. That you can love him the right way. The way he deserves.

Your lips part, a sorrowful sigh passes between them.

He slowly, gently, tenderly flips you onto your back and settles himself over you—half on you, half on the bed.

It’s close and affectionate and intimate. You don’t lay like this with a friend.

His storm blue eyes search yours, eager to see what you know you can’t give him. Promise. Devotion. Commitment.

But you want to. And you can’t.

“Give me more and I’ll call right now and cancel. We can be together, Y/N. Really together. You’ll be all I want.” His words are sweet and tempting.

It’s your deepest most desperate desire, spilled from the wrong set of lips.

The drum of his heart, pressed from his chest into yours, takes your breath away. It’s beating so fast. So hard.

Does he really care about you the way he makes it sound? Can he really want you even though you are what you are? Murderer? Impetuous? Cold at times? Broken? Needy? Afraid?

You trace the curve of his sides, sliding your left hand up underneath his shirt to feel his skin. The tight shift of his muscles as he settles over you more makes you whimper.

You love this feeling. The full force of his weight on you. It’s precious now. What if you lose it? Then you’ll have nothing.

Steve deserves more than a desperate pull for something rather than nothing. He deserves to be everything.

“Choose me.” Steve urges, genuinely begging.

There’s a hint of sadness in his tone as if he knows that you can’t do as he asks but he wants to speak the words aloud anyway, just to say that he offered.

Your arms are around him. Hands splayed out on the luscious curves of his shoulder blades when the door suddenly opens flooding light into your room.

“Hey, Kid, I-Oh…” Tony’s voice shoots from easy to stunned in the matter of one syllable.

You don’t move. Tony’s voice burns you, lapping at the wounds already cleaved into your heart. They fester and burn because here’s a man pleading with you to let him love you and another who won’t.

You search Steve’s eyes. Ignoring the urge to pull out from under him and instead feel his skin with your fingers more. You relish in the soft of his touch and also the fact that Tony can see.

You’re so glad he can see. You hope it bites him, this image of Steve on top of you, pressing you into your bed. You want him to want to be Steve and you hope that it hurts.

“Oh,” He continues, “I uh…”

“We’re busy, Tony.” Steve says sternly, almost angry.

He makes sure that Tony can tell he’s intruding.

“Right. Shit. Sorry.” And he’s gone.

Steve continues to watch you. His eyes probably adjusting long before yours do to the thrust of darkness.

“You still want him.” He realizes.

“I love him.” You whisper to Steve and hate yourself for putting that pout on his beautiful lips. “I’m sorry.”

Steve gives you a small, knowing, pained smile.

“No, you’re not.” He dips down and kisses you. For a long time he kisses you.

The way his lips pull and tug at yours, gently biting and tasting. You know that it’s for the last time.

He can’t do this with you anymore. You don’t blame him.

He holds his last peck for two long seconds then he’s up and out the door in five steps, the heavy wood of your door shutting with a momentous thud.

You’re not quite sure when exactly you fell asleep, but you did. You slept and slept and slept and woke up with your room floating around you as your nightmares got the best of you.

It came crashing down around you over and over I until your room is littered with glass and broken wood and the mess of food that someone was bringing while you slept. You never ate. You drank a little water but now even those glasses are shattered around your bed.

This isn’t the first time you’ve retreated into slumber because something is too big to deal with. Maybe Steve leaving you is hitting you harder than you’d anticipated.

His loss hurts. You’ve spent months getting to know him. You’ve learned his habits and all the sweet places he likes to be kissed.

However, the yearning you’ve felt since the beginning for another pair of lips. Another set of arms.

As you sleep you see him. Pure brown eyes, boring into you. Relentless in their desire.

In your dreams, Tony doesn’t hide his love for you. It’s real. It’s vivid and perfect and all you’ve ever wanted.

Those fiery chocolate brown eyes are what pull you from sleep.

Your eyes open slowly with his name on your lips.

“Tony…” You whisper.

You lay there, staring at the black of your room, seeing nothing.

Arms weak, they feel like a thousand pounds. You push yourself up, skin clammy and burning.

The dark from your window tells you it’s late. The hush in the halls tells you it’s really late.

Only one person will be awake. The only person that matters.

It takes such effort to get out of bed that you’re exhausted by the time you find your feet. Something stings but you don’t care enough to find out what it is. You walk.

It’s like trudging through a bog as you make your way to Tony’s den. Several times you stop and lean against the wall. You grab hold of what you can and cling to keep yourself upright.

Nothing comes to mind except for your need to see those beautiful brown eyes. Nothing matters except that you tell Tony that what he saw is over.

In the moment you’d been elated that maybe he might finally realize that someone else will have you if he won’t, but now you’re terrified that he’ll shut the door on you forever.

He has to know that he’s the only one. The one you want. You feel a little guilty about it. About hurting Steve.

“Tony…” You whisper again, calling to him like some crazed lost puppy.

His door is open, and you nearly fall as you make your way inside. You lean against the sofa closest to the door and look around.

He’s always awake at this time. Where is he?

“Tony?” You call out but your voice is so weak it’s barely above a whisper.

It’s raspy and full of air and it loses strength midway.

“Mr. Stark is asleep, Y/N. Would you like me to wake him? Is this an emergency?” F.R.I.D.A.Y. asks good questions.

Is this an emergency?

You shake your head because it isn’t, however, your lips part and you speak. “I wanna see him.”

“It seems your vitals are off. Your heartrate is higher than normal, and you have a very high fever. You need medical attention. Have you not been eating?” It almost sounds like she’s chastising you for neglecting yourself, but you’d just been tired.

That and reluctant to deal with the aftermath of Steve.

“I’m fine.” You lie to her and you shut your eyes.

Maybe you drift off again because when you open your eyes once more, it feels like it’s either been several hours or at least several minutes.

You see a blurry outline. Dark silk sleep pants held up with a drawstring tied loose around thick strong hips. The soft pat of his bare feet on the dark tile floor is what wakes you.

He says your name, but you don’t really hear it. It sounds muffled, like he’s saying it through a tunnel with a pillow over his mouth.

He squats down in front of you, giving you a pleasant view of his tanned peach skin. He snaps his fingers in front of your face, but you can’t hear the snap. His hand is holding your chin, tilting your head from side to side, but you just want to look at him.

That thing! You have to tell him that thing. “I’m not with Steve anymore…”

Tony says something, quirks an eyebrow, but you don’t catch it. He shakes his head, disappointed in you again it seems but he’s moving so close. Your heart thuds more rapidly as he gets right next to you, turning to face you from the right.

Gently he leads your arm over his neck, and you try to hold on as he slides his right arm underneath your legs and then his left beneath your back.

You pass out as he lifts you, grateful that you at least go unconscious with your cheek pressed against his bare shoulder.

Your eyes open. Tony sits staring at you, resting his elbows on the edge of the hospital bed you’re sleeping in. As soon as our eyes are open, he’s talking.

“Do you always have to be so damn dramatic?” He asks, tilting his head lightly to the left before he gets up and moves to press a red button by your head. “I mean, that’s kinda my thing.”

Nothing seems important now that your head is clear. Nothing but the fact that Tony is here, in the same room with you, talking to you like he always has.

You lick your lips and open your mouth to speak, “I’m not with-”

“With Rogers, anymore. Yeah. I heard you the first time.” He reaches up to scratch at the fuzz of his goatee as a nurse moves inside.

She hurries to check your vitals and then adjust the drip of your IV.

“How long has it been since you ate? Since that day?” Tony asks, sounding only curious.

“How long has it been?” You wonder, not sure how long you slept.

“Almost a week.” He crosses his arms over his chest, now covered by a black t-shirt. “You had glass in your feet, did you know that? I went to your room. It’s a mess, by the way. That’s coming out of your salary. Blood all over the floor. All the way down to the den.

“So, what? Been pouting about Rogers?” He doesn’t let you speak, spouting off facts because he’s upset, and he seems nervous. Twitchy. More so than usual.

“No.” You lie. “And yes.”

As the nurse finishes her checkup, she takes her notes with her and shuts the door as she leaves. Tony doesn’t sit beside you again. You wish he’d come closer…but then…Pepper…

“So, what happened?” Tony asks, looking and sounding curious but that fire in his eyes from the paintball field betrays him. “Didn’t follow orders? Is Rogers bossy in bed? I always figured he’d be the type to want to be called Captain while things were going down. Seems like the type to-”

“I couldn’t give him what he wanted.” You settle into the mattress, letting it hug your form as you try not to feel the sting of Steve’s breakup.

Steve was anything but a selfish lover. You might love Tony but you don’t like hearing him talk about Steve like that, especially when it isn’t true.

You’re not heartless…just invested elsewhere.

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?” Tony asks, moving to pace towards the foot of your bed.

“He wanted me to love him.” You let that sink in for a bit. “But I told him that I couldn’t because I already love someone else.”

Will it matter if you tell him? He already knows how you feel. How can he not? Everyone knows. Everyone sees it. You don’t hide it like he does. Anyway, he’s with Pepper.

Maybe once you tell him, face to face, finally—perhaps you can move on with your life? You look away, down at your hand as you fuss with the seam of your blanket. You might be able to say it to his face but that doesn’t mean you can look.

Terror takes hold but you’ve made up your mind.

“Because I love you, Tony.” He stops pacing. “He knew it when we started whatever it was we had together. He asked me for more and I couldn’t give it to him. So, he left me.”

Tony says nothing and your heartrate is beeping wildly beside you. It fills the room, giving you away. Serves you right for confessing with a heart monitor attached.

“I know I shouldn’t.” You shrug a shoulder. “I know you’re with Pepper and you’ve made it clear that you two are forever, right?”

It’s like a reflex when you look up at him, to smile bitterly at him because you can’t be Pepper. You can only be you and you’re too needy. Too broken. You’re not expecting him to be right there in front of you but there he is all the same, inches away.

You gasp, startled by the closeness as he places his hands on the bed to either side of your hips. The heart monitor actually skips a beat. It beeps and then stops and then beeps again more rapidly.

He moves slow, leaning in close as he stares into your eyes with those perfect chocolate browns. Then he looks down at your lips, still moving towards you until he closes his lips around yours.

They’re soft and full of heat. You don’t dare shut your eyes. You don’t even blink.

Your eyes burn and you’re not sure if it’s because you refuse to close them for fear of missing this moment or if you’re really just this happy that Tony is kissing you. Your eyes water and it spills over as he pulls back, reaching up to wipe at the trail of saltwater away.

“What does-?”

“We broke up.” Tony says, no hint of sadness or regret in his voice and you don’t have to ask who he means. “It’s been coming on for a while.”

He sits himself down on your bed, tracing your arm from shoulder to wrist where he takes hold of it and rubs burning circles into your skin.

“Look, I’m tried of fighting this…this thing whatever it is between us. I care about you, kid and I’m not sure exactly what it is yet, but I want to find out. We’ll go slow. You’ve got some healing to do and I need to get my bearings. This all kinda came at me outta-”

“No.” You shake your head, frowning at him because he might lie to himself, but you won’t let him lie to you. “Don’t tell me that it came out of nowhere, Tony because you’ve been feeling this for a long time. Longer than you probably like but way before the paintball field.”

He doesn’t look at you. He gives his head a quick tilt, lips tight in a firm line as he flexes his jaw. He stares at his hand around your wrist, sliding his thumb along the bone.

“I think maybe that’s just when you started to really see it. You’ve known how I’ve felt, and you’ve felt something too. Don’t insult me by pretending like this all developed out of nowhere. Don’t make me wait.” You’re surprised at your own confidence.

Maybe it’s all because you have been waiting for a long time to have Tony give in and now that he has, taking things slow feels like such a cop out. You want him now.

“Is it because of me that you and she broke up? Is that why you don’t want to-?”

“No.” Tony sighs, relaxing a bit and maybe saddening too. “No. That’s not why.”

You’re glad but also disappointed. Not that you want to be the reason a relationship falls apart but if you had been then you’d at least know what you mean to Tony.

“Let’s just be careful.” He says, confusing you even more.

Be careful of what? Is he going to change his mind?

There’s a knock on the door and a familiar feminine voice. “Y/N? Are you awake?”

As the door opens and Nat peeks in before walking right on into the room, Tony releases you and it’s in this moment that you realize you’ve gone from one hidden relationship, to another.

A week is too long to wait but that’s how long you wait. Seven days sounds like nothing but seven days of sitting around, waiting for Tony to kiss you again is torture.

On the fourth day, Steve brings his new girlfriend to the compound and it sucks watching him hold her hand. It seems she’s been by before as everyone already knows her and she settles in between Sam and Steve during dinner and they talk and laugh and share shallow inside jokes.

It stings, watching him put his arm around her slender shoulders. He tucks her red hair back and scratches the nape of her neck the way he did to you on many occasions in the privacy of your bedroom.

“What do you do, Betsy?” You’re the only one that hasn’t made an attempt at talking to her.

You can’t afford to look jealous in front of Steve, no matter how bitter you feel about the way he’s holding her hand on the table.

“I’m in logistics with S.T.R.I.K.E. I’ve just been field certified so, next mission I get to go with Steve.” She looks up at Steve and he smiles at her, just the slightest delay in his reaction.

He’s nervous about you talking to her. Why?

“Oh. Good for you. Steve’s a good guy to have in your corner.” You nod, giving her a smile.

She giggles and leans in against his shoulder. “Yeah.”

He chuckles then kisses her head and your heart burns suddenly. The flame sears through you, filling your chest with heat and it makes your tongue sharp. It doesn’t help that Tony’s been keeping you at a distance and he hasn’t even looked at you once all night.

“You seem like a good match for him. Make sure you stay on your toes. Gotta hope you don’t fuck it up like his last girlfriend.” You spit the last part out with a bit too much venom but that toxicity in your chest is burning through you.

The shock on Betsy’s face gives you no pleasure. The steel in Steve’s eyes only hurts you more. The stunned silence of the team is so loud it buzzes in your ear like a swarm of angry bees. You’re being ridiculous.

You reach for you glass of wine and down the rest of it, slamming the glass down perhaps a little harder than you mean to. You get to your feet, pulling your napkin from your lap before dropping it onto the table with a bit too much flair from your wrist.

“Excuse me. I think I’ve had too much to drink.” You push out your chair and walk down the steps towards the kitchen.

“You didn’t tuck in your chair, Y/N.” Tony throws at you.

Seriously?! All night and that’s what he’s going to say to you?

You stop, look over your shoulder, and with more force than necessary your silver teal energy shoves your chair in for you.

Stopping by the sink, you turn on the water and squeeze your hands into fists. They shake as the heat from before continues to burn in your chest. Shutting your eyes, you try to calm yourself, but you can feel the burn of that silver teal lapping around your wrists.

You see Mrs. Meyerson peeking out through the window as you stare up at your old home at a loss and abandoned. You see your first foster parents, terrified, shoving you back through the home’s door.

You see Tony’s back, shoulders taut as he turns and calls you a drunk after your nightmare and then leaves Steve to pick up the pieces.

You see Steve always sitting himself away from you during meetings and at team get togethers but remember the way he always came to find you after, in your room where no one could see you.

Now you see him sitting with his arm around Betsy’s shoulders. Kissing her head with sweet affection.

Tony’s eyes trained on anyone but you.

The water cuts off and your eyes shoot up.

“That was rude.” Tony whispers into your ear, his chest pressed flat against your back.

He boxes you in, keeping you pressed up against the sink as he nuzzles the shell of your ear with his nose.

“Watching Rogers with his new girl make you jealous?” He asks, his voice low which means that he’s keeping it quiet for the sake of the team out in the other room.

“No.” You lie.

He laughs.

“I just…he was never open about us being together like that. I’m jealous of that.” And a little of the fact that he’s kissing Betsy and giving her what had been yours mere days ago.

They’re so close that you’re sure he’d been seeing her much longer than he led you to believe but they must have just become exclusive.

You feel Tony slump behind you. Almost as if in disappointment.

“What?” You check, making to turn to look at him but just as you do, Sam’s voice filters in from the table that’s just out of sight.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get another bottle. Calm down Red.” His nickname for Nat.

Tony pulls back, moving to the opposite counter and pops open the small wine fridge he keeps for chilling the wines he plans to use for dinner.

Your heart falls as Sam walks in and stops at the sight of you. For one moment, you think that maybe he saw but then he frowns.

“You’re not being very nice to Steve’s girl.” He moves to Tony and looks at the bottles he’s pulling out.

“Whaddya think? Another red?” Tony asks him.

“Yeah.” Sam agrees.

“I guess I’m not in the partying mood.” You tell Sam, staring at Tony’s back.

“Then go to bed. Come back out when you’re ready to play nice.” He replies and it hurts.

You keep staring at Tony and see the shift of his eyes, the glare that he gives Sam at his words, but he doesn’t say anything.

Sam reaches out for the bottle that Tony’s holding and heads back to the team without a second glance at what his words might have made you feel. This stings because Sam has always been nice but you can see that his friendship with Steve will always put him on Steve’s side…which is just as it should be.

You tear your eyes away from Tony and look down at the floor, chewing hard on your lower lip.

“Y/N…” Tony begins, but you don’t want to hear it.

“He’s right. I’m going to bed.”

You leave Tony in the kitchen and don’t dare glance at the table as you make your way towards the stairs to give the team their peace.

At exactly one week, you give in to your desire to see Tony again.

Loneliness is not your friend and you can only be with yourself for so long, especially with the memory of Tony’s lips on yours.

You find him in his den, working in his lab, as always.

Leaning up against the large doorway, you watch him wheel himself from one end of his table to the other as he picks up pieces of some gadget or other and assembles them into what looks like some sort of drone.

“That’s cute.” You say, and he turns himself around slowly, eyebrows high on his forehead with shock from your presence. “What will you call it? Iron Wing?”

He blinks, relaxing his face. “A little cheesy, don’t you think? I’m sure I can come up with something better.”

With a twist of his hips he rotates back to face his table of toys, dropping the drone to pick up a screwdriver and another curving panel of metal which he begins to screw together.

“Haven’t seen your face around lately. I started to think maybe you’d run away. You know, after all that jealous huff you left me in the kitchen with. I thought you said you didn’t love Rogers?” With his back to you, it’s hard to know what he’s thinking. Feeling. You can only guess.

You descend the three steps down into his lab, crossing your arms across your chest. “Jealous?”

Tony stops his screwing and turns towards you again. His brown eyes are fire again, shifting with whatever emotion he feels when he looks at you but won’t let himself be overcome by.

“Yes.” He admits and your stomach twists as your heart flutters.

With a kick he slides over to his desk to your right. He drops off the newly screwed panel then begins to attach it to a set of smaller panels shaped into a wonky U. There’s no way to know what that’s supposed to be. Not finished yet.

He doesn’t look up as you make your way towards him and lean against his desk beside him, staring at him as he works.

“How long are you going to ignore me?” You wonder.

“I’m not ignoring you.” He argues.

You look at what he’s fiddling with flick your head towards the other end of the table. It slides out from his hands and lands softly along the edge.

He keeps his hands floating in the position you’d just left them in, his toy now gone. He drops them dramatically, a playful smirk on his lips as he turns to look up at you.

“That’s cheating.” He complains.

You shift your body, angling it towards him as you take solid hold of his right shoulder, kick out your left leg, and very slowly lower yourself onto his lap.

With your weight on him, the chair swivels back towards his desk so that you’re trapped between him and it.

You’ve got him straddled; his eyes slightly wide but only just. He's trying to hide his surprise, but you can see the flicker of shock on his rugged, honey tanned face.

The tight set of his jaw as you wrap your hands around the back of his neck and the constrictive grip of his hands on the desk behind you tell you how off guard you’ve caught him. Why won’t he just hold you?

He’d wanted to take things slow and you just can’t do that anymore. After dinner the other night, you can’t keep waiting.

He scrunches his eyes and shakes his head once. Dark, alluring, glorious brown eyes that devour you and make your heart pound.

“Comfortable?” He asks, his quippy tone provoking a genuine smile onto your lips.

“I’ve had worse seats.” You shrug and slowly moisten your lip. Tony's eyes zero in on them, carefully painted pucker doing just as you'd hoped. “Are you?”

Tony blinks quickly still staring at your lips as you deliberately round your vowels to keep him drawn in.

“That's…not exactly the word I'd use.” He admits and you go ahead and scoot closer, a soft sigh slipping from your mouth as your wiggling hips make contact and you feel his hard bulge—still growing beneath his jeans—press against your melting core.

He twitches and your smile disappears as you wait for him to react in some sort of genuine way. You’re tired of the games.

“I can’t wait anymore.” You tell him, almost whining with the desire spilling off of you in waves. “Don’t you want me?”

You shift on him again. His cock hardens, giving you a nice mound to press yourself against. This is cheating too. You know that.

You shut your eyes and hope he likes what he sees. Your lips parted, breath heavy, chest rising and falling deeply as you thrust against him.

“Tony…” You plead.

You hear him grunt, a struggle to keep his composure. “We should wait.”

Why?! Why wait?! Damn him.

“No…” You plead. “I can’t.”

“Y/N…” He says low, a simmering boil of hesitation. You want to make him so hot he’ll spill over.

“Don’t you want me?” You beg again and this time he startles you.

He plunges his tongue into your mouth, kissing you hard as he wraps his arms around your waist and holds you to him roughly.

Just as you wanted, Tony explodes. You feel him stand, taking you with him. His hands are quick and precise as he unbuttons your jeans and forces them down followed quickly by your panties.

As he pulls his own pants down, you step out of yours and follow his guidance as he turns you around and presses your hips into the edge of his desk painfully while he leans over you, twists your head back, mouth searching to kiss you again.

You welcome it, moaning into his kiss as he lifts your right knee and in one quick thrust buries himself within you.

It makes you gasp, the abruptness of his taking you. Maybe you’d pushed him too hard for it or maybe it was so much waiting for so long that he had to have you as soon as possible. He fought it for longer than you did.

He doesn’t let you break his kiss as he squashes you into his desk, relentlessly pumping into you.

This first time is frantic, fast, and rough. He shoves himself into you, making no time for foreplay as he claims you.

“Closer.” You plead, because you need to feel him pressed against you. “Closer, Tony.”

He grunts as he thrusts into you harder but pulls out long enough to turn you around. He hikes up your right leg again, spreading your slick folds for him to dip and slide back into as you wrap that leg around his waist.

You cry out as he rams into you, hands clawing at his toned stomach and hard muscled chest. You push his shirt up but he’s too busy kissing you, sloppy and hungry to break it and let you strip him.

He pulls you closer, thrusting into you in faster but shorter thrusts. It forces your arms around him, and you scratch his back instead, body shaking and jerking as he fucks you hard.

With his pelvis grinding against your clit, your climax builds faster. Squeezing your eyes shut, you pull out of his kiss and bury your face into his neck to bite and bite hard as that beautiful pressure gathers and then with one more thrust releases into numbing waves of euphoria.

Your arms go limp, leg dangling around Tony’s waist as he continues to chase his own climax.

He grunts once, loud, wild, before he pulls you down hard and then goes still as his heat floods you.

“Shit…” He gasps. “Fuck.”

“Mmm.” Is all you can say in reply as you hold him tighter, loving the way his sweaty skin tastes on your tongue.

He slides his forehead down along your chest, gasping and breathing hard as you both ride that cloud back down to Earth.

“There’s no way that I’m letting you take that back.” You tell him, breathing hard as your hand strokes the back of his head.

“I don’t want to.” He admits into your clothed breasts before leaning up to stare into your eyes. “I’m yours.”

Your heart nearly explodes with bliss as he surrenders, finally, to this attraction between you. This inevitable pull that would have led here to this very spot at one point or another.

Tony is yours and you are his.

“No more games.” You tell him, asking too although it’s a statement that you seem to be daring him to challenge.

“No more games.” He promises and you kiss him softly.

“Mmm.” He hums and scoops you up.

As he carries you out of his lab and up to his bedroom, he hardens and by the time he’s got you laying down, he’s ready for round two.

The fact that Tony’s den is like a mini house, is a blessing. For three days neither of you leaves it.

On day one your time is relegated to the bed where Tony spends hours holding you. Talking. Confessing.

He laughs when you pout because he tells you he’s been with a lot of women. A lot of women. But then he wraps you up in his arms and sweeps over you, kissing your nose and your lips in slow burning pecks until you’re smiling, and your mind is wiped of all the nobodies he’s been with.

On day two, you find him tinkering in his lab, messing with that drone again.

“What’s it for?” You ask, sitting on his lab table, butt naked, with a yogurt cup in your hand and a spoon in your mouth.

“Oh, you know, spying, tracking, keeping tabs on people.” He replies, fiddling with one of the thrusters on the bottom as he too sits butt naked but in his own chair.

“Cool. So, I can keep an eye on you?” You tease and eat another spoonful of yogurt.

Tony chuckles. “Other way around. Gotta make sure you aren’t slipping back to Rogers when the rooster’s outta the house.”

You poke him in his side with your toe and he laughs. “Are you the rooster in this scenario?”

“Yes.” He says, then drops his drone, pushing against the floor with his feet so that his rolling chair slides over to you.

Settling between your legs, he traces the shape of your knees then slides them up along your thighs. They open instinctively as he gets closer and closer.

“And you’re the fox.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you.

You chuckle, holding out a spoonful of yogurt for him.

He eats it and swallows but stares at you, eyes boring into yours as he dips and disappears between your legs.

You gasp, nearly empty yogurt cup abandoned as you place your hands on the table to keep yourself upright. The little cup falls to the floor, splashing yogurt on the cool cement as your spoon clatters onto the table.

You fist his hair, throw your head back, and ride the thrill of his tongue as he explores you.

Day three you actually get dressed, cook yourself and him a full meal only to be dragged back to the bedroom.

“I just cooked.” You complain as he wraps himself around your back, forcing you to walk where he leads.

“Congratulations.” He snarks.

“It’ll get cold.” You insist.

“Good. I like my whatever-you-cooked cold.” He retorts.

“Tony!” You laugh.

“Ugh, I love it when you say my name. Say it again.” He begs, sliding your shirt to the side so that he can kiss the skin of your shoulder.

“Tony…” You say, dropping your voice an octave.

“Again.”

“Tony…Tony…Tony…” You repeat over and over until you’re moaning it and writhing beneath him.

You end up having to shower again and when you get back to the kitchen, he is indeed eating the cold grilled cheese you’d made while he pours over a schematic of his drone.

“Isn’t that gross cold?” You ask, hands on your hips.

“Hm?” He asks, shaking his head. “No. I’ll have to go out for a bit. Will you wait here?”

“Oh, yeah, but…I mean, I could come with you?” You tell him, moving to hug him around the waist and kiss his cheek.

“It’ll be boring. I’m just gonna go get some parts and I’ll be back in an hour.” He looks down at you and kisses your lips quickly before dropping his cold sandwich off on a plate behind him. “I’ll be back.”

“You’re going right now?” You thought he meant maybe in a few hours or something.

“Yeah. Soon I get out to get it, sooner I get back, right?” He asks.

“Right.” You lean against the counter, an involuntary pout twisting your lips.

Tony chuckles, moving towards you with a love-sick smile on his face. “Come on, pouty. It’s just an hour. Hang out here. Play with my toys or watch a movie. I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay.” You relent and kiss him back when he smooches you.

You watch him leave, knowing full well that an hour is never an actual hour with Tony.

Things are perfect for a while. For about a month.

A month is the alone time you get with Tony because he whisks you away to some distant, remote island.

The pretense is a mission. There’s a small terror cell, only about forty members in number but their message is spreading far and wide.

This is where they’re supposed to be holed up. This is their home. This tropical paradise, polluted with drugs, guns, and violence; carefully hidden among the jade fronds, turquoise jewel waters, and picturesque white sand.

You wear soft cotton dresses, floor-length that sway in the warm humid breeze.

Tony pins you to the wall, stroking the tender muscles of your legs with searching, grabby hands. The excitement of finally having his hands on you never lessens.

Like the first time he grunts and growls and licks sloppy wet kisses up and down your neck. Suckling on the perked bud of your breast. He hums and moans and you’re in no doubt that he loves your body.

Of that you’re sure. He rails into you, mostly from behind until you beg to look at him and he gives you what you want, always. If you want it harder, he gives it to you harder. If you want him slower, he moves slower, teasing you with long tantalizing thrusts that bring him just to the edge where he might fall out of you and then he rams himself into you hard.

Sex with Steve had been great, amazing stamina, his strength never in question as he supported your weight in many difficult positions but with Tony, it’s always a frenzy. It’s always needy and you feel like he might devour you whole.

He’s kissing your spine, trailing dirty salty licks from the burning tequila and lime he’d drank after dinner. You’re both panting, breathless, sweating from the scorching wet heat of the island even now, just after midnight.

“Aren’t we…uh…supposed to be on…on mission?” You ask him, chuckling once as he grunts, the flesh of his thighs making sloppy sounds as it smacks into your ass.

He reaches down, pulls your hips up higher and pushes you forward as he climbs onto the end of the bed to kneel as he fucks you.

“This is my mission.” He gasps, leaning over you again, pushing you down into the bed. “Make you…scream.”

You nearly laugh but he picks up his pace and slides his hand forward, squeezing your breast before he trails a burning path down between your legs to flick and pinch and pull at your clit.

You gasp, “oh, Tony.”

You tremble, and the pressure builds quickly, crashing against you and sending you forward in a slump as you twitch beneath him.

He keeps shoving into you, groaning as he continues to flick your clit then pulls you close, laying almost completely on top of you as he stills, and you feel that heat of his fill you up.

The two of you lay there, breathing heavily, sweating. Grateful for the warm breeze that ruffles the sheer white curtains of your bedroom’s balcony exit. Anyone might walk by and see you trapped beneath Tony’s hard sculpted body but this side of the island—specifically requested by Tony because of its proximity to the alleged terror cell base—is nearly deserted. Tony’s money got the two of you this bungalow.

“Tony?” You probe carefully. You’ve been with him for nearly a month and it’s been the best month of your life.

“Yes, princess?” He asks, sliding onto his side but taking you with him.

He pulls you close, kissing your bare shoulder as he reaches down to pull the thing sheet over both your naked bodies.

You turn to face him, tracing the shape of his bicep, nose to nose.

“I love you.” You tell him, and for a moment he says nothing.

You pull back, wary. Staring into those beautiful brown eyes you reach up and caress his cheek, feeling the fuller scruff of his beard growing in around his carefully manicured goatee.

You don’t see fear in his eyes which is your worst fear. You don’t see confusion or sadness…wait…there is a bit of that.

“You believe me, right?” You ask him, heart pounding but not from the sex.

“Yeah.” He nods, wrapping his arm around your back to stroke the soft pads of his fingers down slowly from your shoulder to your hip. “Yeah, I believe you. Of course.”

“You don’t feel the same?” You worry.

“No, Y/N. Of course, I do. I just…” He looks down at your neck, still tracing the curve of your shoulder down to your hip then back up.

“What?” You plead, worried that this is all just a passing fancy for him.

“Nothing.” He says, meeting your eyes again. He pulls you in for a kiss, tenderly soothing your lips with his. “Of course, I love you.”

You relax, melt into his embrace, and shut your eyes.

The silence only lasts a few minutes.

“Tony?” You check, remembering the date.

You pull out of his arms and lean over to grab your phone, checking the calendar.

“Hm?” He asks, sleepy.

Strange. You’re not tense about this possibility at all. You thought you would be.

“I’m…I’m not on birth control right now.” You tell him, worried about the last time you took anything for it. You’d stopped just after your last time with Steve, right before he’d broken up with you and you hadn’t taken up any since then.

“Hmm.” He says, acknowledging your words but not really hearing you maybe?

“Tony,” You put your phone back on the nightstand and turn back into his arms.

Those arms of his wind right back around you and pull you close.

“Hey, are you listening to me?”

“Y-yeah. Listening. Yep.” He nods, not hearing you one bit.

“Tony, I’m late.” You say simply.

It takes a minute but then he pops one eye open, searching for yours.

“What?” He asks, more alert.

“I’m…I’m late. I haven’t gotten my period.” You sigh.

“Rogers?” He throws out, hopeful? Is that hope you hear in his voice?

Your heart stutters. “No. I was on it with him. When he broke up with me I just…I stopped taking it. I didn’t think to…”

“Hey, it’s okay.” He says, nodding, thinking. You can see the cogs in his brain whirring. “It’s good. We’ll go down to the mainland tomorrow and we’ll get you the morning after pill.”

“Do they even have those here?” You ask, slightly stung by his immediate jump to that pill.

“Yeah. Last time I came with Pep—”

Your breath catches in your throat and your eyes start to sting. You know that he’s been with other women. You know that there must have been other close calls but the fact that it’s Pepper…

“Y/N…” He says, seeing the shine in your eyes.

No. You’re not going to do this. You’re not going to focus on who else he’s brought here.

“Was it here? This bungalow? This bed?” You demand, your words tumbling out of your mouth without any prompting or filter from you.

So much for moving past it.

“No.” Tony says but you can see that he’s lying.

You roll your eyes and move away from him, sliding to the edge of the bed until you can sit up and put your feet on the ground.

“Y/N…” He pleads, following you.

Sliding behind you, he puts his legs on either side and wraps his arms around your torso, pulling you back against his chest.

“Alright, so it was this bungalow. It was this bed. You want me to get rid of all the places I’ve ever had someone else in?” He teases, kissing your shoulder.

“Yes.” You snap, hating the way this jealousy burns in your chest.

Tony chuckles. You are being ridiculous.

“Princess, you’re right here, in my bed, in my arms. Clearly, I want you.” He sighs.

“Only me.” You tell him over your shoulder.

“Right.” He nods, kissing your shoulder again.

“I could crush your windpipe with my mind, Stark.” You remind, him. Joking of course because the very idea of him leaving you now is like hell.

He laughs, throwing his head back in genuine amusement. “I know.”

He presses another kiss to the side of your head, nuzzling into your hair as he takes in a deep inhale, hoping he smells the coconut of your sunscreen and the brine of the sea instead of the sweat he worked you into.

You close your eyes, savoring the affection. It had been so hard to earn. Like a drifting fog, his love feels ghostlike. If you try to hold onto it, it’ll slip through your fingers.

“Would it really be so bad?” You almost hesitate to ask but you want to know.

Yes, okay. It’s been a month. Only a month. What if this is your future though? You want to be with Tony. From today and you can’t picture a day when you won’t want him in your life.

“Would what be so bad?” He asks, his voice soft and caressing, a sweet lull for you to leave you in no doubt of his love.

“If I were-”

He cuts you off, seemingly already having known what you were asking about. “Come on, Y/N. Can you really picture me as a dad? Can you imagine how I’d fuck up that kid?”

Your heart falls, a knowing sadness taking root because even as he kisses you again and again, and whispers in you ear how perfect you are and how much you mean to him…you’re fairly certain that you’d overheard him talking to Pepper about having kids at dinner only three months ago.

Support me on Ko-fi!

Forever Tag List @jessieray98 @crist1216 @rainbowkisses31 @xxloki81xx @the-wayward-robot @quokkatrash @tiffanynguyen03 @basementcafe @kind-sober-fullydressed @moli1497 @badassbaker @awkwardfangirl2014 @shield-agent78 @supernaturaldean67 @sea040561 @jewelofwinter @this-side-of-midnight5 @sebbystanlover-vk @just4muggles @death-unbecomes-you @lilulo-12 @whosmarisaaarw @hiddles-rose @pandazlazykid @alagalaska @theonelittleone @xlittlestarling @moonlessnight14 @natura1phenomenon @pineapplebooboo @spaghettirogers @dsakita @sincerelytlh @booklover2929 @lovefreylove @just-trying-to-survive-marvel @vulpecula-minor @the-real-mary-jane @babytrollgirl @wildefire @fairislesheets @mother-of-fire-snakes @xrosegoldwolfx @queenoftheunderdark @mrsdeanwinchester19 @thefridgeismybestie @mcuwillbethedeathofme @peaceinourtime82

Shattered Glass @shikin83 @the-ayo-lit @officialmarvelwhore @saturngirlz @bandsandanimefreak @vesta-ro @justmasblack

Steve Taglist @patzammit

[thejemersoninferno]

In my place.

· Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader.

· Request: “Reader is from California and she takes a solo trip to Boston to get away for a while (not a good family life) and she bumps into Chris and well even though she’s a fan, Chris starts to develop something right away” by the sweet @afictionaladventure16. You gave me those lines and it really got me hooked up since I read it! 

· A/N: I’m sorry I took too long to post (2 weeks?) but I’ve been really busy at my new job (YAYYY!) and  I couldn’t have time to post my own writing LOL. Once again, I’m beta’d by @jewels2876 who is always helping me and hyping me up all the time! Thank you, my dear!

· Word Count: 4287.

· Warnings: language, a bit of angst.

“My house, my rules!” Your mom shouts at you. You growl and throw your napkin at the table. Your big brother and his fiancé just watch amused, your dad rolls his eyes and monitions you to sit back again. You shake your head and push your chair back.

“You can’t choose my life for me,” You snarl back, “I’m old enough to choose for myself and who I want in my life!” 

Your mom stands up pushing her chair back, she tries to walk to you but your dad stops her, knowing what’s coming after.

“Let me go,” Your mom hisses.

“Love, calm down,” Your dad’s soft voice makes you want to puke, “If she really wants to inherit anything from this family, she’ll do as told,” He throws a cold look at you, his mouth shut in a line. You open your mouth slightly.

“I don’t want your money!” You spat furiously.

“Then get the hell out of my house!” Your mom shouts, your eyes burning from the tears that are forming, making you feel small and vulnerable. 

“I’m your daughter,” You murmur, your lips trembling.

“You stopped being my daughter the moment you walked away from us,” Your mom declared.

You denied upset, your hands flew up to the sky, your leg shaking slightly.

“I was studying!” You spat quickly.

“Study? You call that study?” She howled mockingly.

“See? How I’m supposed to be okay in this family if everything I love is a joke to you?” You babbled upset, “I’ve done everything to please you and yet, I’m always wrong,”

“If you’d only listen like your brother!” Your dad snarled.

“Listen? That’s obeying!” You spat, “Not even the army has to follow rules like yours,”

“Get. Out.” Your mom hissed, her features revealed a furious face.

“That’s what you want?” You asked, sobbing.

“This is not the life I choose for my daughter,” Your mom hissed.

“You’re really kicking me out just because I don’t want to date him?” You asked, shocked.

“You made this choice,” Your dad pointed out. You shook your head, grabbed your phone from your table and walked to your room. You flashed the door open, walked to your private wardrobe and grabbed a big suitcase, you threw your clothing inside and stormed downstairs to get away from once you called, family. Your brother and his fiancé were waiting outside for you.

“Uhm, not sure Dad’s gonna be fine with you taking the car,” He laughed. You glared at him deadly and threw your suitcase into the trunk. 

“You won,” You said, “You always win,”

“Lil sis,” He said, “You could have it all,”

“Not like this,” You murmured denying, “Not under their rules,”

You jumped in the car and drove away, leaving behind your life, the life you never dream of, the life you were given without needing it. The tears rolled down your face, the low music pounding from the stereo, the sun drying the non-stop tears. You drove for a while, one, two hours until you felt tired. You parked outside a hotel and booked a room for the night; you still had money, the money you have worked your ass out to gain it. 

The next morning, you sat in the closest coffee shop, listening to music from your phone. You were trying to think what were you gonna do now, now that you were finally free from any chain around your future. The waitress approached you offering more coffee, you nodded and thanked her.

“Sally!” Another waitress ran to her.

“Ann!” The waitress yelped, “You’re back!”

“You’re not going to believe it!” Ann squealed, “Boston is amazing!”

“Girlsssssssssssss,” The supervisor called out.

“Sorry Jack,” Ann giggled, “I’m happy to see you guys!” 

Sally, Ann and Jack laughed, you smiled at them, once Sally served your coffee she walked away to her friend who was happily chatting with the supervisor about her trip to Boston. You have never been to Boston, you thought. You sat there, drinking coffee and thinking about your future, you didn’t want to stay in California, you knew it will be just matter of days from every single soul around your circle, your family circle will hear what happened and they will start calling you out for leaving your family. You snap your tongue and opened the navigator site on your phone. You checked miles, flights and you decided to start over again, a new beginning in a place no one will know about you. 

You were checking your info to go to Boston when your dad texted you to give him back your car, well his, you rolled your eyes and told him to pick it up. An hour later, your family’s driver arrived to pick the car up, he gave you a sad smile and wished you a good day, you pouted and gave him a hug, you’ve grown around him and you will forever remember the days you spent helping him clean the cars or him teaching you to drive to get your driving license. You said your farewells and you walked away. The next morning you would be on your way to your new life.

You spent the night eating for the last time fast food from your favourite Chinese while you watched Avengers: Age of Ultron. You chuckled and pouted the whole movie, you loved the Avengers with your whole heart. You remembered the time you went to the San Diego Comic Con to see them, good old days you thought. You went with your brother when you were still close friends. After brushing your teeth, you fell down on the bed ready to sleep.

You’ve been four days in Boston already, your bank account’s cards cancelled, your dad called you to give you another talk and you ended up fighting again. He wanted you to rethink things and go back home, with your family. You told him you wouldn’t and he told you one day you’d go back home begging for them to accept you back. 

After a month in Boston, you’ve found a job, you were working in a bookshop and you’ve made a few friends. You were happy and felt relief at the life you’ve started for your own.

You were walking down the street around your work, earphones on, Queen blasting on loud, focused typing back to your friend Ciara to meet up that night for dinner. You didn’t see the man walking until you bumped into him. You glared up to blue baby eyes, you felt the air leave your lungs, you felt your jaw clench and you were lost into the man’s eyes until a bark drove you back to the reality.

You faced down the furry boy who at your look, jumped on you trying to lick your hands. You chuckled softly and kneeled down to pet him, still ignoring the person next to him.

“I’m sorry,” The man babbled, “I wasn’t looking,”

You ignored him completely, you pet the dog and smiled big.

“He’s Dodger,” The man said.

“I know,” You replied, and then you cussed yourself under your breath, “I mean, ugh,” You stood up and scratched your neck, something you’ve done your whole life when you were nervous.

He looked at you, confused, “I- I know who you are,” You admitted shyly, slowly showing him your Captain America SHIELD in your bracelet alongside with Bucky’s star and Tony’s helmet, your golden three-o. He opened his mouth shyly surprised and you saw a reddish colour cover his cheeks, he nodded in understatement.

“Oh,” escaped his slightly open rosy lips and you bit your lip looking at them.

“Yeah,” You muttered, playing with your fingers. He stared at your eyes, you didn’t flinch or made any other movement, you were lost looking at each others’ eyes until your phone rang off.

You looked down to your left pocket and whispered a fuck.

“I need to pick up,” You whispered.

“Yeah, sure,” He said. You answered your friend Ciara, who wondered where the hell you were instead of being at work, you gasped and looked at your watch in your hand before telling her you’d be there in a second, you looked at Chris while motioning you had to go and he nodded and whispered a low goodbye, you stormed your way and stopped your tracks, you quickly turn around and ran to them. You yelled “wait”, he turned to see you, the phone still in hand, you smiled at him big and kneeled down to pet Dodger once again, before waving him off and running down the street to your workplace. 

Two days have passed since your first encounter with Chris, you were still daydreaming about those blue piercing eyes. You told Ciara about the encounter and she nearly choked you for not staying, she told you she would have covered you if you had told her where and with who you were, you laughed and apologised, you missed your chance but you were happy you have finally seen Chris up close and Dodger, lord, you loved his dog.

Tonight, you were going out with Ciara and her friends from around town, you have met two of them, John and Vicent, and they have promised you the best party in town.

After you arrived home from work, you stormed to get a shower, Ciara knocking on the door because she wanted to shower too. You laughed and told her you were nearly ready. Once you finished, you walked to your big room, walls in white and two strips of blue and red line decoring your walls. You dried yourself while facing the big mirror, Iron Man-inspired, you still remember the face Ciara gave you when you bought it. Sharing an apartment with Ciara was the best thing about Boston you thought, you two met during job hunting and ended up sharing a home. She was looking for someone to share apartment bills and you were looking for not a too-expensive house to live. 

Ciara’s shout asking what will you wear drove you back to reality, you shouted back “black jeans and a tank top!” and you got ready. 

An hour later, the two of you arrived at the restaurant, you had dinner and then proceeded to party hard. The next morning you woke up with a headache and a big teddy bear next to you, you didn’t remember where it came from but you thanked for it.

“You’re early,” Your boss said, confused.

“Ugh, yeah,” You smiled at him.

“Why?” He wondered pilling up a few books.

“Nothing special,” You replied, putting your jacket aside.

“Where’s Ciara?” He questioned looking at the door not seeing the blonde girl following you as usual on Mondays’ morning.

“Day off,” You chuckled.

“Oh yeah,” He laughed, “Forgot about that,”

You opened doors at 9 AM and people started coming in during the morning, you walked down the street at lunchtime, you had 1-hour break and you loved eating at the restaurant down the street. You ordered something different from the menu, each day you’d try something new, tasting the different flavours the menu had to offer. You were checking your phone while waiting for your bill when you saw him walking by, your mouth fell open and you quickly stood up, leaving a fifty buck note next to your ticket and ran off the restaurant. You saw him at the end of the road and you ran towards him, luckily for you, the traffic light changed to red and he had to stop. You stopped your tracks slowly and walked slowly next to him.

You checked your phone, biting your lip trying to see if he would recognize you and trying to not scare him out. His phone chimed and you heard him chuckle, you turned your face to see him and his eyes fell on you. His mouth muttered “oh” and then he smiled.

“Hey there, stranger,” He chuckled.

“Hi,” You replied.

“Long time no see,” He added putting his phone in his pocket.

“Uh yeah.” You muttered, “How’s Dodger?” You questioned.

“He’s okay,” Chris said, “He’s with my brother right now,”

“Oh,” You nodded, “That’s good,”

“Work?” He wondered looking at you.

“Ugh, no,” You replied grinning at him, “Work?” You asked back.

“Nope,” Chris said, “Going for lunch,” He admitted.

“Good,” You answered nodding.

The traffic light changed to green and you both walked, slowly next to each other. 

“Uhm..” Chris murmured, “I was thinking..” You looked at him and faced the road again after showing him a smile, “Would you like to go for a coffee someday?”

You stopped your tracks making him turn to see your face, there he was standing in front of you, the sun on his back, his hair glowing, his hands in his pockets, his features insecure.

“Are you for real?” You questioned you felt your knees about to give out.

“Yes,” Chris replied, he ran his fingers on his hair, nervously.

“Well,” You said, “If you bring Dodger,” You smiled wide. Chris laughed hard and you chuckled with him. He shook his head.

“What about tomorrow?” Chris questioned checking his watch, “At 7 PM?”

“You don’t want to walk Dodger by yourself, right?” You chuckled. He laughed and denied.

“Maybe,” Chris giggled, “Is that fine with you?”

“Tomorrow,” You nodded, “At 7 PM,”

“At the Nobel bookshop,” Chris told you.

You opened your mouth but closed it quickly, that’s an advantage to you, right after your work shift. 

“At the Nobel bookshop,” You smiled and Chris smiled.

“Right,” He said, “I gotta go but I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” You grinned.

“See you tomorrow,” Chris whispered and he waved you off before turning to the left side of the road, you watched him walk down the street, you noticed him grab his phone from his pocket and you watched his back, damn. You stood there watching him until his shape faded in the distance. You jumped giggling and then stopped to check if anyone has seen you. You couldn’t help but smile big. 

You arrived home to Ciara listening to Andrea Bocelli, you could smell the bolognese sauce and your mouth watered, you swung to the kitchen with the cover song “La Vie En Rose” smiling wide and big. Ciara jumped at your entrance and laughed at your expression.

“What’s going on with you?” She laughed.

“Ugh,” You sighed, “I have a date,” You said sitting down on the stool.

“A date?” She asked stirring the pot, “With who?”

Your smile grew big and you let out a squeal, Ciara laughed and denied laughing.

“Who it is?” Ciara asked again.

“Chris!” You squealed, “CHRIS FUCKING EVANS!” You yelled jumping around. Ciara let out a squeal and joined your side, you two jumped and giggled for a few minutes.

“For real?” She wondered shocked.

“Yes!” You sang, “For I can’t help falling in love with you,” You sang to the song harmonising.

“When? Where?” Ciara wondered turning the heat off.

“I saw him walk down the street, I, of course, walked faster to reach him,” You admitted biting your lip, “Then we walked down the road and I asked about Dodger and we made this quick chat and he asked me out!” You both squealed excitedly.

“Oh my Lord,” Ciara yelped, “You’re a lucky son of a bitch!”

“I swear I was shocked!” You laughed.

“No wonder why,” Ciara laughed back, “When’s the date?”

“Tomorrow after my work shift,” You told her.

“Where?” She questioned taking the apron off.

“Outside Nobel,” You chuckled, Ciara, let out a snort and shook her head. You had dinner and then got ready for bedtime. 

You woke up the next morning earlier than usual, you showered and got ready. You chose some black jeans and a nice t-shirt, your vans covering your feet. You prepared breakfast singing and dancing around, Ciara joined you quickly after laughing at you. You ate your food doing a little chat before heading to work. 

The day went off rather quickly, you had lunch at the bookstore with Ciara, Japanese, Ciara’s favourite. You listened to music and chatted the whole work shift, your boss happy to see you enjoying your time and joining in a few chats. 

You were closing the shop when you noticed Chris approaching, you quickly picked up your stuff and piled out a few books ready for the following day. Ciara squealed when she noticed Chris and you covered her mouth. You turned the lights off and walked out of the shop, Chris focused on his phone raised up his head for a second and then faced up you quickly when she noticed it was you, you gave a soft smile and turned to Ciara.

“I’ll see you at home,” You told her softly.

“I’ll see you later,” She smiled big, you could see the excitement on her features and you bit your lip trying to stop the laughter escape your lips.

Ciara greeted Chris and waved you two off before heading down the street on her way home.

“Ugh,” Chris said, “Were you going to tell me you work here?” He chuckled.

“Maybe,” You chuckled back, “Hi,” 

“Hello,” He said, he approached you and kissed your cheek, “Nice top,” Chris joked. For the first time since you put it on in the morning, you checked your top and let out a snort when you saw the Avengers logo on it.

“I swear I didn’t do it on purpose,” You laughed.

“It’s okay,” Chris smiled, “I like it,” You smiled to each other and started walking down the street.

You walked for a few minutes in silence until you broke it, “Where’s Dodger?” 

Chris let out a snort, “Home,” 

“I thought we were walking him?” You wondered.

“Yeah,” Chris said, “That was the idea but I thought we could go alone?” He looked at you for a second.

“Damnation,” You let out a sigh, “I only accepted because you were supposed to bring him,” 

Chris laughed hard and you joined him, “You only have me now,”

You bit your lip and laughter escaped your lips, “I’ll see what I can do,”

You walked around the area talking about each others’ life, you, of course, asked about Marvel and he happily answered. You stopped to grab a drink and you kept talking and joking around.

Chris accompanied you home and kissed your cheek goodbye, you smiled at him and he asked for your number. You exchanged numbers and said your goodbyes.

You went to bed smiling big that night and not without wishing Chris sweet dreams.

On your fifth date, Chris kissed you and you couldn’t be happier. He has been stopping by your work to see you every day and bring some coffee for Ciara and you. Ciara who has been really happy for you, also told you, you two should take it slow. You agreed but whenever Chris was around you, everything faded away and you enjoyed the moment you were living. Chris has admitted he felt quite insecure about how needy he was to see you all the time and how he felt around you but he couldn’t stop himself, he wanted to be with you, to be around you and to share his time with you. You have met his brother Scott and had been to dinner with both of them. 

Chris invited you over to his house for dinner, it was Saturday and he thought you could have another date on his place. You’d lost count of how many dates you had had by now, it has been nearly two months since you met and you had met every single day.

Chris opened his car door for you, offering his hand for you to get out of the car. You smiled at him and tiptoed to leave a kiss on his cheek.

You sat on his big sofa while he was getting some drinks for you two. You looked everywhere, he had a beautiful house. He had shown you around and then sat down to chat.

“You alright there?” Chris's voice brought you back to his eyes. You nodded.

“Yeah,” You replied, “I like your house,”

“Thank you,” Chris said, “Dodgers’ at my brothers’,” 

“Oh,” You whispered, “You should bring him tomorrow,” You said sipping on your wine.

“You sure?” Chris questioned, sitting back on his sofa.

“Yeah!” You answered, “Ciara loves him and you know it,”

“I know,” He chuckled, “All of you do,”

“But I like his owner best,” You bit your lip and let out giggled.

Chris laughed and shook his head, “You only say that to make me feel better,” He whispered reaching your hand and stroking it slowly.

“Did it work?” You questioned low, looking at your hands together, a smile spread across your face and Chris smiled wide.

“It did,” He whispered.

Chris stroked your hand for a while until you set your glass down on the coffee table. You took his glass too and did the same. You reached for his face, cupping it and getting lost in his eyes. You let a chaste kiss on his lips before parting your lips and Chris let out a sigh, he drove his hands to your neck, crashing his lips on yours. You kissed slowly, you opened your lips slightly and Chris took it as permission, putting his tongue inside your open mouth. The kiss quickly changed to a heated one and your hands flew to his hair. He drove his left hand to your lower back, stroking slowly. You let out a moan and he growled, he grabbed you by your legs, helping you sit on his lap. You moved slightly on top of him stealing a moan from both of you. The friction caused by your parts touching while your mouths fought deliciously on a heated kiss.

Chris drove his right hand to grab your ass and squeezed, you moaned loudly on his mouth and he grunted. His mouth fell on your collarbone, kissing, nipping, biting. Your hands-on his hair pulling from time to time gently, needing more. You moved forward and backwards on his lap, needing the friction your clothed core desired. You felt Chris’s bulge grow bigger on his pants and you let out a loud moan escape your lips, Chris lips lost in your neck and chest, his left hand stroking the nearest boob gently, his finger rubbing circles in your nipple. 

“Chris,” You moaned pulling his face from your neck, kissing his cheek and rubbing the back of his neck.

“Doll,” Chris panted, stopping his movements and focusing on your eyes, then back to your slightly parted rosy lips, his pupils darkening and the urge of kissing you driving him insane.

“Please be mine,” You whispered low but confident, you had him under you, needing you the same way you needed him, his eyes lost in lust like yours, his lips pulsing red, his hands on your lower back and hips, his muscular form trying to stay still but needy.

Chris crashed his lips on yours as he stood up, you strangled your legs on his waist while he walked to his bedroom. Your lips never living the other ones’, your hands flying to every inch of his body you could touch, Chris, rubbing and stroking your ass while low moans escaped his lips.

“Mmm..” You let out rubbing small circles on Chris's chest. Still feeling the chills and the pure sensation of your first time together. 

“I’ll understand,” Chris added.

“Chris,” You tried to stop him.

“It’s just,” Chris squirmed next to you, his legs tangled with yours sending chills over your spine at his soft and warm skin.

“Chris,” Your hand flew to his chin, making him look at you.

Chris sighed, “I just need this more than just a one night stand,” He admitted, “I need the honey when you hold my hand, I know you think it’s too early to call it a romance but,” He closed his eyes shut. 

You sighed and moved on his side, your left leg on top of his hips, your skin warming his, even more, you let a chaste kiss on his chest and then on his chin, followed by one on his cheek and nose and back to his lips.

“I know you’re not ready for that,” Chris whispered so low you barely heard him.

“I just don’t know,” You replied, “What if-”

“I know,” Chris interrupted, you cupped his face, your chest on his chest, his right hand on your lower back, his left hand on your hip while your legs kept tangled underneath the sheets.

“Come back to me baby,” You said, “And I will come back to you,” looking at his eyes. You saw his eyes inspection your face and he let out a sigh, your forehead fall into his while your eyes closed. Chris rubbed your lower back calmly, you moved your head to his chest and closed your eyes.

“I want you,” You whispered low. Chris looked down at you and nodded.

“You have me,” He answered.

“No,” You replied, “I want to be with you,” You declared.

“I can’t go a single day without thinking of you,” Chris murmured, “I hope you believe me,”

“I do,” You said looking at his eyes, “Let the happiness begin,” You murmured, Chris broke the space between you two, your body on top of his body, the warmth on his hands on your back and you felt like you’ve found your place.

____

Much love from me, J x.

[smkkbert]

Mothers know best

Summary: Since they have been kids, they have been best friends. Since they have been friends, their mothers wanted them to be together. After coming back from the east coast, Felicity takes over a position at Queen Consolidated, the company her best friend will soon take over from his father. Their mothers still push for them to be together, and they seem closer to that goal than ever because wedding bells are ringing. The only problem is that they both plan to get married to someone else.

Rating: Explicit

Previous chapters: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11 12 13  14  15  16  17

Chapter 18 of 22: Neshama Sheli

= A way to tell someone you really love that they are so important to you that they are actually part of your soul (Hebrew)

Whistling the melody of the song he had listened to on the radio on his way here, Oliver locked the door of his car and headed towards the executive elevators. While the doors were closing behind him, Oliver glanced at his watch. He was still absolutely in time for the board meeting which might be the first time since he had taken up the position of Junior CEO alongside Felicity.

He knew how important this meeting today was though. There was still a lot to discuss about the last details of Robert passing over the company to Felicity and him. Their CCO had suggested that there should be a fancy party to celebrate this new area in the history of Queen Consolidated. The next generation was taking over.

Oliver couldn’t help but grin during the entire elevator ride up to the executive floor.

He had been with Felicity for two weeks now. They had spent every day and every night together. It had helped them to settled into their new normal. Getting used to being together had been a lot easier than they both had expected it to be though. They were feeling so comfortable around each other that it was just so easy to be together like that.

Although it had been going great, they still hadn’t told anyone about their relationship so far. After everything that had happened between Felicity and Carter as well as McKenna and him, they had decided that it was best to keep it for themselves for a while. They wanted the trouble around them to live down before they told anyone and became the top subject of rumors once more.

Besides, they didn’t want their families to know just yet. With their mother’s friendship in the line of fire if they missed it up, they had decided that it was better to keep this to themselves for a little longer. The more people knew, the more complicated it would be.

They spent the nights together at Felicity’s place. Her house just felt a lot more like a home than Oliver’s loft did. It was more personal, and it held the wonderful memory of their first night together. With the stabile box-spring bed he had gotten her, they had the perfect place to fall asleep after frenzy lovemaking that had almost become a daily bedtime ritual like parents singing a song for their baby.

Oliver guessed it was going to be their new bedtime ritual in a couple of months. They fact that they were having a baby still shocked him sometimes. He loved the thought and still it was so difficult to get used to it. When Oliver allowed himself to realize how lucky he was to not only have the woman of his dreams by his side but to have a baby with her too, he would never be able to come back with him. If this luck was taken from him, he wouldn’t survive. He knew that already.

Now, when they woke up in the morning, Felicity headed under the shower. In the meantime, Oliver prepared breakfast. Ginger blueberry pancakes were the only breakfast that didn’t cause her to throw up right now. They had breakfast together before Oliver headed under the shower.

Once they had both gotten ready for work, they kissed each other goodbye. Felicity drove to Queen Consolidated first. Oliver waited at least ten minutes before he followed her. That way, they always arrived separately, and they hopefully didn’t cause any suspicions.

Felicity just continued to joke about the fact that he was suspiciously in time for work since they were together. Oliver loved to be teased by her, so he had just brushed his lips against hers every time the subject had been addressed.

Working together at Queen Consolidated wasn’t exactly easy. Since his canceled engagement with McKenna, everyone was watching them. He guessed that people thought he had cheated on McKenna repeatedly with someone in the office. Gossip magazines were painting him to be a cheating playboy, who had left McKenna in front of the altar with the very reason of embarrassing her.

While Oliver would love to scream about his love for Felicity from the rooftops for everyone to hear, he knew right now wasn’t the time. They had to wait until things around them had calmed down.

That they couldn’t openly be together here at Queen Consolidated, at least they could be together after they had called it a day. They met at Felicity’s home and had dinner together. Sometimes, they watched a movie or they just climbed into bed immediately to make love before falling asleep in each other’s arms.

Being with Felicity, no matter how much or how little time he got to spend with her, just made him happy. Even here at Queen Consolidated where they couldn’t be together openly, the thought of being with her made him happy. He had never looked more forward of returning home than he was now.

With a low pling!, the doors of the elevators opened. Oliver took in a deep breath before he stepped out of the elevators and headed towards the conference room. Walking along the long glass front toward the door, Oliver took at everyone who had gathered around the conference table already.

Like so often, he was the last to join.

Oliver cleared his throat when he entered the room. A lot of gazes turned towards him, but the only pair of eyes that mattered to him was Felicity’s. Love shone through her eyes, wrapping around his heart and warming it. Their gazes stayed locked for three seconds before Felicity lowered her gaze to the tabletop. A deep blush spread on her cheeks, making him smile.

“There you are,” Robert said, glancing at his watch. “No minute too early.”

“And no minute too late,” Oliver added, sitting down in the free chair at the right side of his father and right opposite to Felicity. “I think you forgot about that part.”

Robert shook his head, slightly amused by Oliver’s point of view. He turned to Felicity, perking up his eyebrows then. She took a sip of her water and nodded her head, proving that she was ready to start the conference like it had always been. Even if any conference these past weeks would have been antedated for a week, Felicity would have been ready. She was always prepared, better than anyone else he guessed.

If Oliver had known that the conference would take long two and half hours and leave him with a terrible headache, he might have asked for more time to prepare. Before he had been able to even pour himself a mug of coffee, he was already deep into the planning of that celebration. A time phrase had to be set to decide when to give speeches, when to open the buffet and what people of the press to invite.

Oliver couldn’t deny that he hadn’t spent much time thinking about this celebration or the act of his father’s legacy being passed on. He had always divided his future in the time before his father retired and the time after it. The very moment of it, he hadn’t envisioned so far.

By the time everyone was piling up their stuff to head back to their offices and work on the new assignments they had just gotten, Oliver felt like his head was exploding. Taking over this company was just becoming real. With all the changes that had happened in his life, this shouldn’t frighten him, but it did. All his life, he had looked up at his father for leading the company and being responsible of all these people’s jobs. It wasn’t long until he would have to take on this responsibility though.

At least he could share it with Felicity.

Piling up his documents to go back to work, Oliver watched Felicity. She was piling up her own documents to get back to work. She seemed to sense his gaze though. When she lifted her gaze, her eyes locked onto his immediately. A smile ghosted over her face, but it didn’t last long. Taking in a deep breath, Felicity lowered her gaze back to her documents.

“Oliver, Felicity,” Robert said with soft voice, trying to sound casually though the tension was audible beneath it, “I’d like to talk about you for a moment please.”

Oliver’s gaze met Felicity’s briefly. Felicity, who had already gotten up to leave, hesitated briefly before she sat back down again. Her fingers fumbled nervously for a moment before she intervened her fingers and rested them on the top of her tablet. Her eyes were on Robert, the nervousness shining through the calm expression she was trying to maintain on her face.

When his father turned his head to look at him, Oliver leaned back in his chair and turned a little more towards his father. The longer he was staring at Felicity, the more suspicious his dad would be. Oliver doubted that he’d be able to look at her without all his love for her shining through the expression in his eyes.

Robert waited until the door was closed behind the last member of the board. He turned his head back over his shoulder briefly to make sure that they were really alone. When he turned back, he looked first at Felicity and then at Oliver for a long moment that felt like an eternity.

“I don’t like to ask this, but I feel like I have to,” he said with serious voice, looking back and forth between them once more. “How serious are you two with taking over the company?”

Oliver guessed he should have known that this kind of conversation was coming. These past weeks since Oliver had come back from Metropolis, Robert had only talked to him about what was going on between him and Felicity once. It had been the day that Oliver had returned to talk to his mother about why he and McKenna had decided to cancel the wedding.

Oliver had felt that his father had wanted to give him and Felicity the room they needed to find out how to deal with what had happened between them. Given that they were supposed to take over the company Robert had dedicated most of his life to, he couldn’t stay silent forever though.

Oliver’s eyes met Felicity’s briefly. He could see that she was thinking more or less the same thing he did. She had known this conversation was coming, but she was still a little surprised by it. Unlike Oliver, she hadn’t talked to Robert about anything relating their status of relationship since the night of the rehearsal when she had told Robert about their night together.

“I understand if you need more time,” Robert continued before either of them could find their voice to respond to him. “Leading a company like Queen Consolidated is a huge responsibility. You carry the responsibility for billions of dollars, inventions that can be as dangerous as world-saving and thousands of jobs. It’s not going to be an easy task.”

Since he had been a kid, his father had always made sure that he knew leading a company was not just being your own boss. Oliver had grown up in the very knowledge that he had to be extraordinary to be the right person to take over the company. His father would have never accepted anything less of the person who would take on his legacy.

“You two have been through some rough spots in your life lately.” Robert released a low sigh. “I guess that your friendship is crumbling might not be helping either. I don’t want you to make a decision that both of you will come to regret eventually.”

If he had understood his father correctly, he believed that he and Felicity had messed up during their date. Since they hadn’t shown any signs of being together and had actually avoided each other whenever they had been at Queen Consolidated these last weeks, he guessed the assumption wasn’t as far fetched for Robert. Having lived through these last two weeks with Felicity, the thought seemed utterly absurd though.

Oliver glanced at Felicity, trying to make eye contact with her. Felicity continued looking at Robert with a deep frown instead of locking eyes with him. She was almost holding her breath.

“Robert, what are you trying to say?” she asked with strangled voice.

Releasing another sigh, Oliver replied, “I was wondering if maybe we should delay all of this for a year. We announce the decision and give you two a couple of months to recover. You take this year to decide whether you two still want to take over the company together or if a clean cut and some distance will help you more.”

Although his father’s words were actually quite serious, Oliver had trouble to bite back an amused grin. As sure as he was that Robert’s suggestion came from the honest feeling that this was what they needed, Oliver didn’t doubt for a second that it was playing right into his father’s cards. For the past years, he had clawed his fingers more and more into the chair at the head of the board. Whenever someone had mentioned if he was about to pass on the company anytime soon, he had insisted that he wasn’t feeling old enough to retire. Oliver had no idea how his mother had actually convinced him at the end.

When Felicity turned her head towards Oliver, he could see the same amusement on her face. Felicity knew his dad as well as he did. He wasn’t surprised that she had come to the same conclusions about his father’s actions.

“Okay,” Robert said slowly when Oliver and Felicity just continued looking at each other. “I feel like I missed something here.”

Felicity sucked her bottom lip between her front teeth and cocked her head at Oliver slightly. Nodding his head, he agreed with her silent suggestion. If someone should know the truth about them first, it was Robert. If it hadn’t been for him, who knew if they were together now.

The smile Oliver had tried so hard to bite back so far, fought its way onto his lips now. He was sure that the love he felt for Felicity and their baby was visible in his eyes. Leaning forward, he reached out a hand for Felicity, and she put her fingers into his hand.

Oliver knew that he didn’t have to say the words for his father to know. The soft smile as he watched their enlaced fingers on the conference table was enough for Oliver to know that his father knew the truth already. Still, nothing could have stopped him from saying the words out loud now that he got the chance to.

“Felicity and I are together.”

The words filled Oliver with joy and pride. Being the woman that he loved made him incredibly happy. At the same time, being with someone as smart and as kind as Felicity just made him unbelievably proud. He doubted anyone could be as proud as he was.

Robert’s smile widened a little. He looked generously happy for them. It didn’t help to hide the glimpse of surprise that shone through though.

“These last two weeks you two barely spoke a word with each other when you were here.”

Oliver nodded. “We wanted to take our time to get used to the feeling of being together. Given our recently canceled engagements and all the rumors that are floating around since that happened, we decided to keep it a secret for now. The less people know, the better. At least for now.”

Robert perked up his eyebrows. “So, you don’t even want to tell your mothers about this?”

“Especially not them.” Oliver released a low chuckle of amusement, shaking his head. “If our mothers know, everyone else will know too in like no time. They will get on the phones and call everyone in their lives, from their friends to the mailman, to make sure that everyone knows about this. They will completely freak out, even before we tell them that-“

Oliver pressed his lips together, catching himself blurting out the one secret he and Felicity still had. After he had finally been able to talk to someone about his love for Felicity, talking about the baby had felt so incredibly natural.

Looking at Felicity, he found her eyes already on him. She pressed her lips together and rolled them into her mouth for a moment. When Oliver perked up his eyebrows slightly, asking what they should do without saying a word, she puckered her lips though. There was an almost pleading expression in her eyes, telling him that she had the same wish he had tried to suppress until now.

Slowly, Oliver nodded his head. A smile spread on Felicity’s lips. She turned her chair to face Robert, who was watching them with perked up eyebrows now.

“We are having a baby.”

If Robert hadn’t been surprised before, he definitely was surprised now. He looked at Felicity like he couldn’t believe what she had just told him. Only when he turned his gaze towards Oliver, who nodded slightly as if he needed to confirm Felicity’s statement, the news seemed to hit Robert.

“That’s amazing.”

Releasing a laughter of joy, he got up and pulled Felicity from her chair. She chuckled, letting Robert hug her tightly. He swayed her from side to side, moving his hand over her ponytail and telling her how happy he was for them.

Oliver just watched them, feeling warmth spreading in his chest. Not for the first time he was more than grateful that his father had taken Felicity in like she was his own child. He loved her the same way he loved Thea and him. He was exactly the kind of father Felicity had never had with her own father.

When Robert eventually let go of Felicity, he walked around the table towards Oliver and pulled him against his chest too.

“I am so proud of you,” he told him while he was still holding him tightly, and Oliver doubted that it had ever been more honest than in this moment. “You are going to be a great dad.”

Oliver couldn’t say why, but his father’s words touched him more than he had thought they would. His father had been a great dad. If he was going to be a great dad, it was because he had learned from his.

“Thank you, Dad,” Oliver said quietly. “I hope I will be.”

“I know you will,” Robert assured him once more and put a hand to his son’s shoulder when he pulled out of the hug. His eyes suddenly turned serious. “Don’t mess it up.”

There was no way that he would ever mess this up, Oliver thought to himself. If he messed up, he would crawl to Felicity on his knees to make her forgive him if that was what it took. He might mess up, but he would never mess this up.

“He won’t,” Felicity assured Robert before Oliver found his voice again. “I am very confident in regards to that.”

With two large steps, Felicity approached Oliver and leaned into his side. Her arms wrapped around his torso, and her head came to lean against his shoulder. Oliver smiled, putting an arm around her body and snuggling his cheek to the top of her head.

It was weird that they had only been together for two months. Holding Felicity like this felt so familiar as if it had never been different.

Seeing the expression on his father’s face, Oliver had to bite back a chuckle. He guessed that getting used to seeing them together was a lot more difficult for him than it was for Felicity or Oliver. He was sure that his dad would get used to it rather sooner than later anyway.

Chuckling, Robert finally turned his gaze away. He looked at his feet and shook his head like he still couldn’t believe it. Lifting his eyes to look at them again, he chuckled once more.

“I am so happy you chose to trust me with both of these news,” he said with an amused smile, “not just because it proves that you trust me with a precious knowledge like that, but also because it means I can forever tease my wife with knowing about this before she did.”

Oliver chuckled, tightening his arm around Felicity. In thirty years, they would tease each other with things like that too. They would probably start with that a lot sooner actually.

“Now, is there anything I can do for you?” he asked with serious voice. “Do you need some time off? Do you need any tips? Anything?”

Felicity angled her head back to shoot Oliver a questioning look. Smiling, he brushed his lips against her forehead before he looked at his father again.

“I think what we really need is trying to settle into this new normality,” Oliver explained. “The sooner we get used to our new life together, the better.”

He shot Felicity, who was still looking at him, a glance. She smiled and nodded her head in agreement. She felt the same way he did. Of course she did. They were perfectly in tune with each other.

“Alright.” Robert nodded his head. “If there is anything you can do, you will tell me though. Right?”

“Right,” Oliver and Felicity replied in chorus.

Robert smiled at them for a moment longer. He almost looked like he wanted to spread his arms and pull the both of them into his arms once more. Instead of doing so, he released a sigh and gestured back over his shoulder.

“I will give you two some room.”

Arm in arm, Oliver and Felicity watched Robert leaving the conference room and walking past the long glass walls towards his office. He shot a look back over his shoulder, still smiling about the news, before he disappeared into his office.

With a low sigh, Oliver sat back down on his chair and pulled Felicity onto her lap. She looked around nervously for a moment, afraid that they could get caught. Only when she was sure that nobody was secretly watching them, she relaxed and leaned against him. Her arm wrapped around his shoulder, and her fingernails scratched over his scalp gently.

“I am happy Robert knows,” Felicity said with a smile. “It makes it more official.”

Oliver nodded his head, leaning it into the touch of her fingers. He smiled contently at her words and rested his hand on top of Felicity’s stomach. Felicity’s hand found his there instantly.

“So am I,” he agreed. “I am sorry for slipping the baby news though. I know we agreed on not telling anyone.”

“Still feels good to have Robert know.”

Again, Oliver nodded his head in agreement. It was exactly like Felicity had said it. Telling someone about it just made it more real. These last weeks he had felt like he was living a dream. It would probably take a little longer for him to really realize that he was living his wildest dream now.

While Felicity was watching the movements of her fingers through his hair, Oliver took in her face. The content smile on her lips couldn’t betray that she was happy. Still, he wondered if there was something more that she might want or need to be really happy.

“Can I ask you something?”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows briefly before she narrowed her eyes at him. She pushed her finger against his chest.

“We are not having sex on the conference table or anywhere else in this building.”

Oliver chuckled, shaking his head. He might have indeed mentioned this little fantasy after they had spent their first day at work as secret couple. Felicity had turned down that idea immediately for all eternity. She would never have sex at her work place because it was incredibly unprofessional and a million other things she had rambled about until Oliver had shut her up with a firm kiss to her lips. He had been joking anyway. Mostly at least.

“I wasn’t thinking about that,” Oliver said and brushed a kiss against the edge of her jaw. “I was actually thinking about the offer Lena Luthor proposed to you when you were in Metropolis a couple of weeks ago.”

Felicity frowned, and Oliver got why. They had never talked about that offer again after that time in the tree house. In a lot of ways, that offer had just been part of their lives before they had found their way towards each other.

Now, Oliver wondered if that was really true though.

“What about that offer?” Felicity asked. “It feels like that has been a lifetime ago.”

“Yeah.” Smiling, Oliver stroked the knuckles of his hands over Felicity’s cheek and watched a deep blush spreading on her skin. “It’s just that talking to my father made things more real, like you said it too. I guess that made me realize that we are really building a life here, and I was wondering if maybe you have given up too much for that already.”

Felicity frowned. “What do you mean?”

Oliver leaned back in his chair with a sigh. He secretly wondered if he was making it harder for both of them by approaching this subject. If he pretended that everything was okay the way it was, neither of them had to think about the decisions they had already made and the decisions they could have made instead.

“I think that working for Lena Luthor might be a good thing for you.”

Felicity was taken aback by his statement. He could feel her body tensing and quickly rubbed his hand up and down her back. He smiled at her reassuringly, and it seemed to be everything Felicity needed. Though she was still frowning slightly, unsure where this conversation was going, she leaned back against him.

“I love you,” Oliver reassured her, knowing she needed to hear it, “and I want to be with you.”

Narrowing her eyes slightly, Felicity asked, “But?”

“No but,” Oliver assured her. “But- okay, there is a but, but it’s not the kind of but to erase what I have said before like most buts do. This but is supposed to stress how much I really meant everything said before the but and-“

“You’re rambling,” Felicity said softly and stroked her fingertips through his stubble. “I guess I have infected you.”

She had infected him in more than one way. She had affected him with her happiness and her positive perspective on life. She had affected him with her strong will to make Queen Consolidated a beacon of hope for people. She had affected him with a love that burned brighter than a shooting star in the dark of the night.

Obviously, Netflix movies had affected him with corny language.

“Back at our treehouse, you told me that you liked Lena’s offer because building something of your own felt like an even bigger accomplishment than taking over someone else’s legacy,” Oliver said softly. “If that is still the case, maybe you should take Lena’s offer and try it which leads me back to my ramble about that but. I love you, Felicity, and I want to be with you, but more than anything else, I really want you to be happy, and I know that using your skills for something good is part of what makes you happy. If Lena Luthor’s offer can give that to you, you should give it a try.”

Oliver almost couldn’t believe that he was actually saying this, knowing the consequences his words could have on both of their lives. It made his stomach tighten, but it also gave him a sense of peace. He guessed it was what love was about – offering a chance to someone you loved even though it meant that you might have to accept losing a little bit of what they had built in the last two weeks.

“And what exactly do you picture that would look like?” Felicity asked. “I am living in Metropolis, building Smoak Tech, while you are here to take Queen Consolidated to the next level? And we are raising our baby in the airplane on our way to visit each other as often as possible?”

As much as Oliver hated it, he didn’t have a solution for that. He wished he had one, but he didn’t. It was also impossible to make a compromise here because what could that possibly look like? They moved somewhere in the middle between Starling City and Metropolis, so they had the same distance towards their companies? Sounded like the worst compromise ever.

“We will find a way,” Oliver said firmly, locking his eyes with Felicity. “We have to find a way because if your reaction proves anything, it’s that you want this.”

If Felicity wouldn’t want this, she would have said it. Instead, she was just hinting at how impossible it seemed to make this work. Oliver didn’t hold it against her. If he hadn’t wanted an honest answer, he wouldn’t have asked in the first place.

With a sigh, Felicity got up from his lap and walked up and down in front of the glass front. Oliver stayed silent and just watched her. He knew that she needed a little time to process what exactly she thought about his suggestion that she should take Lena Luthor’s offer.

Five endlessly long minutes passed before Felicity put her hands onto her hips and turned around to him. She looked almost angry for a second. Soon, her facial expression softened though. She managed to even shoot him a soft smile.

“I don’t want to take Lena Luthor’s offer.”

Oliver frowned. He bit back all words that were already on his tongue. As much as he wanted to argue with Felicity on this, he knew better. Felicity was her own person, and she knew very well what she wanted and what not. He would give her the time she needed to vocalize her opinion before he asked her if she was sure.

“If had taken it, I would have done so to run away,” Felicity admitted. “I wanted to run away from my feelings for you and everything that reminded me of you, so running away from Starling City seemed like the first logical step.”

A sad smile tugged at the corners of his lips, making Oliver lower his gaze to his feet for a moment. They had been so close to missing each other and wasting even more time than they had wasted already.

“The truth is that I belong to Starling City though,” Felicity said. “When I came back here, it was the one thing I was absolutely sure of. Starling has always been and will always be my home. Here is where I found happiness back when I was a kid and now that I have returned too.”

Oliver nodded, his smile warming. Even though Felicity hadn’t said it, he just allowed himself to believe that he had helped a little to make Felicity find that happiness.

“Queen Consolidated might not carry my name, but it’s my family’s company,” she stated firmly. “Robert has been my family since the day my mom and I showed up on your doorstep all those years ago. I mean of course it’s your family’s company first and foremost and-“

“My family is your family,” Oliver interrupted her gently. “It always has been, and it always will be. In a lot of different ways.”

Smiling, Felicity rested her head against her lower stomach. She looked at her hand for a moment before she lifted her gaze to look at him once more.

“Lena’s offer was generous and appealing,” Felicity told him, “but Starling City is where I want to live and where I want our baby to live. No matter the professional chances, there is no place where I could be happier than I am in Starling City.”

Oliver gave Felicity time and room to add anything, but she stayed silent. She just looked at him with an expression of utter determination. It was all he needed to know that she was absolutely sure about this.”

Getting up from his chair, Oliver approached her. He framed his face with his hands and watched her for a long moment. When he leaned in for a kiss, Felicity closed her eyes with a low sigh. He caught the sound as it fell from her lips, swallowing it.

When their lips parted, Oliver opened his eyes and waited until Felicity opened hers too. He nodded his head then, releasing the most quiet of a sigh.

“If that is what you want, it’s what we do,” Oliver said firmly. “You just tell me when you changed your mind.”

Felicity smiled. “Thank you.”

Oliver pecked the tip of her nose and wrapped his arms around her tightly. He pulled her as close to him as possible. He pressed his nose against the top of her head and breathed in the sweet scent of her skin.

He couldn’t deny that he was relieved about her answer. If she had actually wanted to take Lena’s offer, they would have to do a long-distance relationship, and Oliver wasn’t sure if they had been very good at that. They had already had troubles with their long-distance friendship. They had maintained their friendship, but they had both been incredibly miserable.

With the way things were now, he could hold Felicity like this forever. It still wouldn’t be long enough, he thought to himself, but it was definitely a good start.

* * *

When Oliver put his warm hand onto her knee, Felicity frowned and lifted her gaze to look at him. Oliver was smiling softly despite the nervousness that was shining through his eyes. He tried to calm her down although he himself was anything but relaxed.

Only now that she put her hand onto Oliver’s on her knee, she realized that the tapping sound that had annoyed her so much these past minutes was gone. Given the way her leg was tingling with the need to move, Felicity guessed that she had tapped the tip of her foot against the floor so far, causing the noise that had annoyed her so much.

Holding Oliver’s hand between both of hers, Felicity released a long sigh. She leaned her head back against the cool wall and closed her eyes.

She really was incredibly nervous. Since she had woken up this morning, knowing this was the very day the doctor would show them their baby for the first time, she had been nervous. The closer the appointment had come through the day, the more nervous she had gotten.

Blinking through an eye, Felicity watched Oliver. As much as he tried to maintain the little bit of calm he had left, Felicity could see right through it. He was just as nervous she was. She could see it in the way his shoulders were tense and in the deep breaths he took, in through his nose and out through his mouth. It just didn’t help him calming down.

They were both incredibly nervous about their first appointment with the ob-gyn. Even though Felicity doubted that there was a lot to see on the ultrasound. She was almost ten weeks along now, so the baby was the size of an olive maybe.

Felicity guessed it was only natural for parents-to-be to see things a lot more rationally.

When Felicity had been here to have her doctor confirm the pregnancy, she had been going crazy. If it hadn’t been for her nervousness, she wouldn’t have had an appointment in the first place as the doctor had advised her to wait another two weeks. Since that would have felt like torture, especially with the date right around the corner, Felicity had made an appointment anyway.

Compared to that day, she was almost Zen now.

When Oliver leaned his head back with a sigh, mimicking Felicity’s body posture, she turned her head and smiled at him. The smile infected him, spreading on his lips too.

“We can tell people about the baby soon,” Oliver whispered. “It’s going to be exciting to stop hiding us and our little secret.”

Felicity nodded slowly. They had been together for four weeks now, and it was going even greater than Felicity had expected. They had been friends for so long already that there were just no boundaries. They could always tell each other what they were thinking though they didn’t have to a lot of times because they knew what they were thinking just from looking at the other. It was just so easy to be together. They were still best friends, just that they were lovers now too.

There really was no reason for them to hide anymore. With how eager they were to spend as much time together as possible, even when they were at Queen Consolidated, it would probably be easier. They wouldn’t feel the need to find excuses for spending so much time together.

If there was one reason for them to still keep quiet about their relationship, it was their mothers. Since Oliver’s canceled wedding, they had stopped to push about them being together. Apparently, they wanted to spare them after the trouble they had gone through lately. Felicity was sure that they would turn quite annoying once they found out that their children were actually dating and having a baby. She wasn’t sure how they could possibly top their annoying pushing during her and Oliver’s youth, but they would probably find a way.

“Let’s just wait two or three weeks more,” Felicity whispered. “When the first trimester is over, we can tell people.”

“So maybe on Christmas?”

Felicity nodded slowly. “Maybe on Christmas.”

The Queens had always invited Donna and Felicity to spend Christmas Day with them, just like Donna had always invited them to spend one night of Hanukah with them. This year wouldn’t be any different. Donna had already called and told Felicity that the Queens were coming over the last night of Hanukah on December 30, so Felicity and Oliver would come there too. If their mothers knew about their relationship by then, they could even go together and didn’t have to pretend that they were coming separately.

“Felicity.” Oliver cleared his throat. “I think I have to tell you something.”

Frowning, Felicity turned her head to look at Oliver. He actually looked a little guilty though he couldn’t hide a glimpse of amusement that was shining through beneath that.

“I told John about us and the baby,” Oliver admitted, and now the smile just broke through every other expression on his face. “I couldn’t keep quiet about it any longer.”

Felicity couldn’t help but smile. “I told Tatsu too.”

Oliver chuckled, lifted Felicity’s hands to his lips and kissed them. Felicity guessed it was a good thing that they were so wonderfully alike. So far, it had kept them away from any fight.

After their confessions, it wasn’t long that they were asked into the doctor’s room. They sat down in their chairs in front of the desk, still holding their hands. While they were waiting for the doctor to come in, they shot each other excited smiles.

When the door opened, Oliver and Felicity both turned their heads back to look towards the door. Dr. Yap, a tall woman with long legs and flat chest, stepped in. She was reading in the file like she had done during the first two appointments Felicity had had with the doctor here for a check-up a couple of months ago and the appointment to confirm the pregnancy the week before her first date with Oliver.

“Ms. Smoak,” Dr. Yap said eventually and lifted her gaze. “And…?”

“Oliver Queen.” Oliver almost jumped out of his chair and held out his hand. “I am Felicity’s boyfriend and the baby’s father.”

Felicity bit back an amused smile about how excited and proud Oliver was to say this. His smile was taking over his entire face. He almost looked like he was on drugs.

“It’s nice to get to know you,” Dr. Yap replied, shaking his hand, before she turned to Felicity. “How are you doing, Felicity?”

“I am fine,” Felicity replied. “The morning sickness is quite annoying, but Oliver is trying his best to find food that I actually keep to myself.”

“Successfully?”

“Sometimes yes, sometimes no.” Felicity chuckled and squeezed Oliver’s hand. “But that is okay. I am spoilt with food now.”

“I am doing the best I can,” Oliver replied and kissed the back of her hand. “Anything for you.”

Dr. Yap smiled briefly, taking some notes in Felicity’s file. She asked another few questions, making sure Felicity was healthy and there were no abnormalities. From the polite smile on her lips, Felicity guessed that there was nothing to be nervous about. Dr. Yap at least seemed to be content with Felicity’s answers.

When Felicity was eventually asked to lie down on the med table, she felt her heart jumping into her throat. She couldn’t say when she had been this excited the last time.

Dr. Yap applied some of the gel to Felicity’s lower stomach. Felicity reached her hand out for Oliver at the meantime, shooing him a last smile. The moment she saw Dr. Yap grabbing the head of the ultrasound, Felicity quickly turned her head to look at the monitor. With held breath, she waited to see her baby.

It took the doctor maybe five seconds before she found it. The quick throbbing of their baby’s heartbeat filled the room, and Felicity felt her heart trying to catch up with the rhythm. The shadows on the monitor probably looked like a meaningless muster for most other people, but Felicity was almost sure that she could see the outline of her baby clearly. She could definitely see the head, and maybe she could even see the tiny hands and feet of that little human being growing inside of her.

All the love she had felt for her baby from the moment she had known about his or her existence seemed to multiply even more. It filled every cell of her body and made everything inside of her tingle.

Felicity needed a long time before she was able to turn her head away from the monitor to look at Oliver. His eyes were still focused on the screen. His pupils were dilated just like they were when he was looking at her. His love for her and the little family they were creating was written all over his face. There was an intensity in the expression of his eyes that would scare Felicity if she didn’t feel it just as much.

Eventually, Oliver was able to turn his gaze away from the monitor and lock eyes with Felicity.

“We are having a baby,” he whispered the words like he could only believe them now.

Unlike him, Felicity wasn’t able to speak. She had a tight lump in her throat that made it impossible. She just nodded her head, feeling tears of joy welling in his eyes.

Oliver captured her lips in a long kiss, pouring all his love for her into it. Felicity was almost sure that he’d take even better care of her now. She would be the most spoilt person until that little human being had made its way into the world. After that, she guessed she was going to be the second most spoilt person, but that was okay.

* * *

With the hem of Oliver’s hoodie lifted to her breast, Felicity turned in front of the mirror. No matter the angle of her reflection, there was just no baby bump visible yet. She wasn’t sure if that pleased or disappointed her.

Sighing, Felicity pulled the hem of the hoodie back down and slipped into a pair of her sweatpants. The more comfortable and warmer she felt, the better. Sitting on the edge of the mattress, she put on the pair of thick socks Raisa had knitted for her and sent her to Central City last Hanukah.

Next Hanukah, she might knit a pair of socks for the baby.

The thought made Felicity smile despite the thousands of questions flashing through her head. Since she and Oliver had left the doctor’s office two hours ago, a thousand thoughts had been on her mind. Seeing her baby for the first time and hearing its heartbeat had just raised so many thoughts and questions.

Was their baby going to be Jewish or Christian? How would their handle the religious education of their child given that they didn’t share the same religion?

Did they want a boy or a girl? Would that affect the way they would raise this baby?

What name did they want to give to their baby? Were they going with Smoak? Or Queen? Or a double name like Smoak-Queen or Queen-Smoak?

How would they educate this child? After all, Oliver and Felicity had grown up in completely different families that probably cherished completely different values. What values did they want to convey? What was really important to them when it came to raising a child?

There were a thousand different things she and Oliver still had to discuss, and it made her incredibly nervous. So far, their relationship had been going so incredibly easy. They had always shared an opinion on the important things, and hadn’t been interested in the details that they had disagreed on. Different opinions on parenting probably were quite the issue on a young couple that was about to become parents soon though.

Felicity closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. She recalled the memory of the expression in Oliver’s eyes whenever he looked at her. It was all she needed to know that, no matter what happened, they would work through it eventually.

Putting her hand onto her lower stomach and rubbing it slightly, Felicity got up and walked downstairs. She followed the delicious smell of food that came from the kitchen and smiled when she saw Oliver standing at the oven, searing some vegetables.

“My oven will start to think that it’s actually of use if you continue like that,” Felicity said with a smile. “Smells delicious.”

Felicity stepped behind Oliver. She wrapped her arms around his torso from behind and snuggled the side of her face against his back. Her nose pressed against his shoulder blade and she breathed him in with closed eyes. Just the scent of his skin made her feel at home.

“I thought some stir fry vegetables was exactly what you need.”

“I think that’s about right,” Felicity agreed. She kissed Oliver’s shoulder blade through his shirt before she let go of him and sat down at the kitchen island. “Sometimes, I still cannot believe that you know how to cook.”

“I do have a lot of hidden talents,” Oliver replied, winking at her back over his shoulder. “For example, I make a really great lemonade.”

He went over to the fridge and grabbed a carafe with a delicious looking drink. He poured a glass of it and placed it right in front of her. Intensely, he watched her and waited for her reaction. Felicity lifted the glass to her nose, figuring that it was a peach lemonade, before she took a sip of it.

“Wow,” she said. “That’s delicious.”

Oliver smiled proudly. “Glad to hear that.”

When the sizzling the pan got louder, he quickly turned back to the stove and stirred in it. Felicity watched him, propping up her head on her hand and taking another few sips of the lemonade.

This moment right here, as average and almost boring it looked, just felt really great to her. Having Oliver taking such good care of her and spoiling her with these little things like food and homemade lemonade felt more honest than other declarations of love had felt to her. Felicity enjoyed it more than she’d enjoy any great gestures like a sea of flowers or God knows what else.

Being with Oliver was not about great gestures. It was about spending their everyday life together, and that was why she was so sure that things between them would last. Couples that spent the first weeks of being together with those great gestures were wasting the time to really get to know each other.

Everyone could be together as long as those great gestures were there. That just wasn’t the real life, and the sooner you experienced the real life the better.

“This is really great,” she suddenly said out loud, her voice soft and low. “I can see us being here in a year or two. You cook for me. I am watching you, drinking a good glass of wine. Low music is playing in the background. Our baby is sitting on the floor, playing with its toys and making these sweet babble noises.”

Oliver turned around and leaned back against the kitchen counter. A soft smile was spreading on his lips. The expression in his eyes was almost a little unfocused as if he could see the scene playing out in front of his eyes.

“It will be our daily routine to be in the kitchen together before dinner. After dinner, we will put our baby to bed, reading him or her a bedtime story, before we do the dishes and maybe spend an hour outside in the garden with another glass of wine. Then we will go to bed, snuggle up to each other and fall asleep, listening to our baby’s breathing over the monitor.”

Felicity smiled, and she could see the scene too. She could barely grasp the idea of having a baby, no matter how much she loved this little human being already or how real having a baby had felt during the ultrasound earlier today. Being here with Oliver and enjoying a perfectly comfortable moment of their everyday life, she could really picture them being a family with a baby though.

Oliver just made it incredibly easy. She had always known that he would forever be a part of her life. Only now she was really sure what place exactly he would have there though. It felt right like it should be exactly like that and no other way.

When the daydream let go of Felicity, she regained awareness of her surroundings or Oliver at least. He was looking, almost staring at her. His eyes were narrowed slightly like he was thinking intensely about something. It made Felicity chuckle.

“Let’s just say those were the hormones speaking out of me,” she said lightly and took another sip of the lemonade. “You cannot hold it against me.”

Felicity doubted that Oliver would hold this or anything against her. She had said much more embarrassing things towards him. He might have teased her with it, but he had never held it against her.

Saying something embarrassing to your best friend was different from saying something embarrassing to your boyfriend. Since Oliver was both at the same time, Felicity just hoped that it wouldn’t make a difference.

Oliver just continued staring at her, making Felicity cock her head and frown at him eventually. When it still didn’t get her any reaction, she chuckled.

“Earth to Oliver,” she said in a singsong. “What are you thinking about?”

Oliver’s face stayed unmoving. Only the intake of breath and the way his chest rose with it told her that he had heard her.

The ongoing silence unsettled Felicity a little. Compared to her, Oliver was anything but talkative. She had never seen him like this, just looking at her so intensely without saying a word though. It made goosebumps spread on her back and a nervous tingling start in her fingertips.

Felicity couldn’t say what exactly she was nervous about though. She trusted Oliver and his feelings for her enough to know that he wasn’t going to run away scared because she had mentioned the scenario of them being together with their baby in a year or two.

“I am thinking about what my dad once said,” Oliver said eventually, “that, if you love someone and want to spend your life with them, you shouldn’t wait. You shouldn’t even wait to plan a big move. You should just grab them, go to Vegas and get married there.”

Felicity chuckled. “He did tell me the same thing, a couple of times actually. It was-“

She fell silent when she noticed that the intense expression was back in his eyes as he was just watching her. All words she could have said died in her throat, even more so as Oliver vocalized a suggestion that made even her breath get caught in her throat.

“Let’s go to Vegas.”

* * *

@fannaz @promiseyoullbepatientwithme @bytemegeekette @felicity-said-just-in-case @phanseptiic @orangeisorange @mspotatohead14 @whentheheavenfades @emmaamelia95 @smoakingskye @seaolicity @ourwritinginvein @1022bridgetp @felicityqueenforever @leagueofolicity17 @yryssss @myhauntedblacksoul @sherlock44 @sinceriouslybea @arrowsalways @olivyflavescentdeer @olicitys-castle @ofnothingcharming @vaelisamaza @smoakedandcharmed @alexisa1206 @mysaudadespt2 @florence-bubbles @addictiontelly @queens-of-arrows @memcjo @hysterical-for-joshifer @oswinelevenforever @olicitylovemaking @bandanab310 @mymusiclove101 @lynslogic @scarletqueen23 @olicityshipper19 @alex-wesley @arrows-4ever @unabashedlynerdypatrol @miriam1779 @ligiapimenta @chattyyana @charlie-leau @coal000 @samcrowleys @ishippolivia @julianegomesqueen @malafle @miriam1779 @charlinert @melaux @ontheolicityship @myshipperlife @wrightainsley @lexi9515 @ladygreenwood @multi-fandom-crazy-fangirl @morinamel @mje-thomas @kebarry @canadianheartgirl @nannett2307 @almondblossomme @paarti12 @kathrynelizabeth89 @imdfabulous @cutearrowgirl @mrt2501 @mecha1330 @arsipaci14 @mzminx @salasvia @brandis91 @cainc3 @morganmiguess @pr0fessi0nal-fangurl @iamisalima @nessafrancis-blog @jonhdiggle @niki-is-amazing @universed-posts @hopeful-warrior @senoritaswiftie @bellemmie @green-arrows-of-karamel @iheartarrow @olicityovereverything @oliverfel4 @navyaarsha @fandoms-breathe-life @simone4mcswarek @olicity-in-the-heart @fullychippedcreation @geemarie @everything-but-normal-cat @myarroworld @tjmartinez @pleasantfanandstudent @itsmagnoliagirl @j69confessional2 @scentedcolorpirate @icanica74 @javinancupil @tjmartinez98 @certainmentalityface @tatianadamaceno @ryelew @wildwillowzepplin @missafairy @letsplaymurde-r @lipizette @positivepiper @nuttymilkshakehologram @laksagirl @turnupthemusicandscream @pumpernickle93 @onceuponanolicity @1106angel @jaspertown @fadinglands @morganashimi83 @mochababychristy @omglovechrissie @mariejr88-blog @thetaufactor @onceuponanolicity @speakandseethetruth @bri206 @aglasgo @thats0klaroline @geemarie @pineprincess @nerdgirljen @peterpanslostgirl666 @eternal-olicity14 @allyouhadtodowas-stay-stay-stay @lovelycssefan @tsseract @flowerandsunshine @dcnmarvelgamergeek @blondeeoneexox @monetsmark @soaring-cities @bb-olicity @mashamarty @rulerofsilence @erika-amber @felicity087 @i-claim-only-emily @pattid1 @westallenandolicityshipper @babyolicityandwestallen @nothingmorethanmyotps @kayleenyc @tonto16 @olicityfluv @olicitea1990 @olicity5ever @haahaaa2408 @pattid1 @faegal04 @24karatgem @wrldtravler @readerkas @valery6488 @lemmyeatspeaches @olicity-beliver @greencoffeecups

(If you want to be tagged or untagged, just let me know. :))

[cinanamon]

Domestic!Jaemin

living with boyfriend!Jaemin would be.. interesting, lets say

first things first he is angel

but also a little demon

he probably popped the question about living together randomly, just chilling at the dorm with his head in your lap when he makes a side comment that it’d be nice to do that without the members around;;

and you looked at him and he smiled, saying that he wanted to live with you

you wouldn’t know but he probably thought about that for ages and asked all his hyungs for advice and permission ofc

and he just couldn’t wait to finally ask you

moving in was kind of crazy;; I mean, you had the help of 18 boys it went by pretty quick let’s be real

and Jaemin was super methodical about organizing everything right the first time, taking into consideration how you’d like to decorate.

You don’t like the white drapes? He’s already scraped them and bought three other kinds for you to look at. You want the bed against the wall and not in the middle of the room? Fine by him, he’ll just have to crawl over you to get to his side. 

Tbh you would have the prettiest home??? Bc I can see Jaemin being super organized and just having an eye for aesthetics like wow

And you’re not the only ones who think so, so be prepared for the dreamies to crash into your apartment without warning, saying ‘you came to our dorm now we get to come to yours’ (Jaemin would chase them out if you really wanted him to though)

alright now everyday;;

More often than not Jaemin would try to cook dinner for you?? Something homemade, whether something his parents made or trying something new.

If he can’t make dinner, he tries to make you breakfast or lunch. 

And if he can’t do that and you end up making a meal for him, you don’t even have to ask he’s already clearing the table and cleaning the dishes. 

he will w h i n e your ear off if you try to help him, saying he needs to do his share, my poor heart :((

If you’re not home for dinner and you didn’t tell him why, he will be worried. He trusts you ofc but he bites his lip and texts/calls you every once in a while until you respond. He can’t help but worry about your wellbeing.

And once you get home he practically tackles you in a hug, planting kisses all over your face, reminding you to tell him beforehand if you’re running behind or you’re in traffic or if you’re out with friends. 

Speaking of hanging out with friends, if you have to cancel plans with him apologetically, saying you promised another friend that you’d go out, he’d give you sass.

You remember how he mocked Renjun on dream vs dream for including Mark in his question? Yeah, he’d act like that.

‘Yeah its fine, go hang out with Brenda or whatever I’m sure our movie night wouldn’t be that fun anyways.’

And at your pout he laughs and breaks character, kissing your forehead and reassuring you that it really was fine; you’d watch the movie the next night or something.

He would also!! love to surprise you!!

Telling you to dress up out of the blue and he comes back from practice dressed nice and he takes you on a random dinner date?? Come home to some flowers or some knick-knack because it reminded him of you like the possibilities are e n d l e s s he wants to spoil you

And if you spoil him,,, there’s a good chance he’s going to turn red and giggly, trying to deny it at first but ultimately thanking you with cuddles. 

He esp loves the little things??? Like he will m e l t if you woke up before him to leave and he comes to the kitchen, a little love note written on the fridge and you’ve already made him coffee :(((

If he’s tired from practice, normally he’d try to put a smile on his face still fro you but it warms him when you understand, draw him a bath or set up a movie to watch together and massage his shoulders

Truly Jaemin would love the idea of like,,, movie night friday. he likes the idea that he even if he can’t see you all week, there’s that promise of Friday when he can hold you to his hearts content

OBVIOUSLY if you’re going to date Jaemin, you have to be fine with skinship. He’s holding your hand while eating dinner, he’s hugging you from behind while you cook breakfast, he is wrapped around you with your head on his chest while watching a movie;; he has to be touching you in some form at almost all times.

He understands when you need alone time, though, he needs it too, and that’s when you just shine soft smiles on each other from other sides of the room.

Honestly he’s fine not talking? I think he’d really enjoy the comfortableness of doing your own thing in silence but appreciating the others’ presence. 

And on sleeping arrangments, you sleep in one bed. He kept to his side at first, not sure if you’d want to spoon in your sleep, but by the end of the first week he was holding you like a koala, and by the second week, he was sprawled over you like a starfish. It’s endearing and annoying at the same time but his apologetic smile when he wakes up has you forgive him in an instant.

And you remember how Jaemin woke up Mark by saying ‘honey’ or something? Ofc he’s waking you up like that. Showering your face with kisses and he whispers pet names to you, softly rubbing your shoulder and giggling when you groan for a couple more minutes of rest. 

He would 100% carry you to bed if you fell asleep on the couch.

One of his favorite things to do with you too? Cook or bake together. It really shows how well you can work together, he calls it a “bonding experience” as you split up the work.

He likes dancing in the kitchen with you too omg hold me

You know Jaemin would be cheesy and still write you loveletters when he has to stay at the dorms for comebacks.

“you could’ve just texted me that you missed me.” 

“where’s the fun in that?”

Scratch that, he’s cheesy all the time. He probably has a journal where he writes everything about you that he loves (hint: he leaves it on his dresser so you can look in it “without him knowing”)

He knows comebacks can be hrd on him and you bc he can’t see you everyday and the threat of fans finding out or getting violent becomes stronger, so the guard is up for both of you

even the other members can tell that he gets distressed bc he can’t hold you and he stood infront of the coffee machine for 10 minutes bc he realized you weren’t there to prepare it for him to wake up to.

He tries to hide it from you (even though he stressed to you he valued honesty) bc he doesn’t want you to worry

And before promotions he swarms back into your home with a huge hug, laughing with relief and giving you hints of the song with his singing and dancing. 

Jaemin likes to go out on dates a lot, but he knows you’re limited bc he can’t be recognized;; so he gets creative

going to a cafe? haha have fun in your huge sweatshirt of his, a baseball cap and face mask, he’s obviously enjoying himself in his sunglasses, hoodie and hat. Tbh you gain more attention trying to seem natural lmao

Truly he just loves being with you and going out but he also loves it when you just veg and cuddle for 25+ hours. 

Since you’re living together ofc the older members are a little uhh suspicious, but you assure them with a laugh that you’re doing alright and being pg13. (the dreamies g a g)

And you laugh nervously with a blush when your parents bring up the topic of marriage, but Jaemin takes it in stride, smiling and saying he’d love to ask you to be his wife sometime in the future when he can really support you (take all my uwus)

I want to say that Jaemin wouldn’t argue with you much?? Like you wouldn’t get into too many fights?

Lol ofc he’s going to tease you and stuff so you’ll have lots of banter and petty squabbles.

And I have a feeling Jaemin avoids confrontation and hates fighting.

But if you were toe evr argue, it would be serious. He wouldn’t be the type of person to yell or storm out or ignore you. he tries to be civilized and settle the matter all at once; even toned and open-minded. 

If he were mad, I can see him gritting his teeth, setting his jaw, glaring off to the side bc he doesn’t want to direct his anger at you even if you were the reason. Balled fists on the table or in his pockets, but he tries to stretch them; he would actively be trying to calm himself down as he got worked up, he’s very aware of it.

And truly if you got in a fight, it would most likely be over one of your guys’ safety or health, or a matter of questioning the others’ trust/honesty/love. I don’t think he could handle the thought of you thinking he’s in-genuine or him thinking you are. 

Overall, I think Jaemin is the best boyfriend material. He will always try to make it work out, always put you first. He’s caring and kind and affection, reliable and funny and trustworthy. 

He would love you with all he has. 

And so living together with him,, would indeed be quite interesting. 

It’d be a dream. 

[queenkaneko]

Outlaws

Pairing: Colt Kaneko x MC (Anya)

Word Count: 1663

Rating: PG, mild swearing

A/N: This is my first whack at Colt or any writing for the Choices fandom. I hope y’all like it! Also, I’m sorry in advance. No one kill me please. Colt and Anya decide to run off to Miami on their own, but something isn’t quite right. Just something I got into my head and had to write down. 

“So, let’s keep driving.” Colt said, his eyes searching Anya’s face. She can see that he means it. “We can go anywhere. Just say the word and I’ll start the engine.” His voice was slightly unsteady with emotion and as Anya’s cocoa brown eyes gazed into his, all she wanted to do was run away with him. The son of a crime lord who’d pushed every button she had from the day she met him. Her mind raced as she tried to focus with his hands still running along the bare skin of her back under her shirt. How had she gotten here? If her mother was alive, this would probably kill her. But ever since they’d lost her, there’d been something missing in Anya’s life, something that even her dad couldn’t fill. She wanted to be understood. And Colt did understand her. All his faults, all the hurtful things he’d said to her in the past, they didn’t seem like such a big deal when he looked at her like that. Like she could ask him for the world, and he’d throw it at her feet, everyone else be damned. Anya had finally found someone who respected her, put her first, saw her worth.

With only a moment’s hesitation, Anya gripped the lapels of his leather jacket with a wicked grin. “Miami.” Was all she said before leaning in to kiss him hard one last time before sliding back into the passenger seat of her Panther. Colt didn’t even hesitate as he threw the car back into gear and took her hand in his, squeezing it once. Minutes later, the two of them were driving across I-10 to the other side of the country.

They settled in Miami and laid low for a few weeks, getting a cheap rundown studio apartment to sleep in and not much else. Anya made the decision to start racing for money and Colt usually rode shotgun with her instead of racing his bike so he could be her extra eyes on the road. And soon, the two had made enough for a bigger, better place. Anya was in the bedroom she shared with Colt, changing into jean shorts and a purple tank top for the race she was headed to. Arms wrapped around her from behind as she touched up her makeup in the mirror of her vanity and she smiled wide at Colt in the mirror. “Ready to raise some hell tonight?” She asked, turning to kiss his cheek before stepping out of his arms to finish getting ready.

Colt watched with a smirk as she sat on their bed to lace up her favorite boots, a pair he’d bought her shortly after moving to Miami. “I’m not the one driving your boat of a car.” He jested flopping on his back on the bed next to her. “I’m thinking we can make at least $2,500 tonight even if you barely try. Street racing in Miami is almost pathetic.” It was true, they’d done well for themselves since moving here. Shockingly well, really. Anya still felt like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. She’d been careful not to draw too much attention to them, to avoid attracting police investigations, and there had been more than a few close calls with the law for the pair.

Anya wished she could say it scared her, but ever since escaping the house party with Logan and running from the cops, she couldn’t deny the rush of adrenaline it gave her to challenge herself with such high stakes. Once her boots were tied, she turned over and laid her stomach to look at Colt, propping herself up on her elbows. Her expression turned contemplative for a moment as she looked at him. “That depends. You riding with me tonight or are you going to make me kick your motorcycle-driving ass again?” Anya smirked, her voice taking on a teasing tone and her gaze turning affectionate. One of the things she loved most about Colt was their banter. If she was honest, she’d always secretly enjoyed it, even the night they met at the sideshow back in LA. He saw her worth the day he met her, but he pushed her to see it because he knew ultimately that was what mattered. Sure, he could’ve been nicer about it, but Anya gave as good as she got. Instead of responding, Colt sat up on one elbow and placed his free hand on her neck, pulling her to him and kissing her deeply. “C’mon, let’s go show Miami who runs the streets.” He smirked at her before getting up and leading her out to the car.

Thirty minutes later, Anya was pulling her car up to the starting line next to half a dozen other drivers. The man in the car on her right leered at her until Colt looked over at him with a raised eyebrow and the man turned away. Anya smirked as she signaled to her boyfriend to start unscrewing the bottle of NOS under his seat while her finger hovered over the button. Familiar adrenaline coursed through her as she watched the coordinator wave the flag and she floored it. As soon as she had a safe lead on them, she pressed the button and launched the two of them out in front by a full car-length, then three. The laugh that bubbled out of her chest as she held the wheel steady was completely involuntary. Colt rolled his eyes at this, but he was smiling warmly at her as he braced himself with the handlebar. “You’re almost a scary kind of crazy behind the wheel, you know that Ani?” He joked, glancing at the speedometer and seeing it fall back to a more normal speed. The nearest car was now almost a quarter lap behind them as Anya drifted her car through the first turn just as the NOS fully wore off. This was going to be a cakewalk.

Or so she thought. As she and Colt rounded the last turn before reaching the finish line back in the industrial park, they saw red and blue lights flashing from a distance. “Shit. This has to be a joke.” Anya muttered in frustration. “I was about to WIN, dammit!” She hit the steering wheel once, then whipped the car into an alley, retracing a complicated path out of the maze of warehouses back to the main streets. Thankfully, it didn’t look like anyone followed them out. Probably because the other half dozen racers couldn’t turn around quick enough and had kept the police occupied. Once she was sure she’d doubled back enough to lose anyone following them, Anya headed for the coast. It was their post-race tradition to go skinny dipping in the nearest body of water. Colt stayed quiet most of the ride, which worried her. Something suddenly felt wrong, like her world was fading around the edges, then it passed, and she parked the car along the seawall. It was late and the beach was abandoned, Anya looked over at Colt as she put her hand on the door and noticed he wasn’t moving to get out with her. “Colt…?” She called to him softly, and he turned to face her with a heartbreakingly familiar expression that was equal parts affection and fear.

When he spoke, his tone was eerily familiar as well. “You’re my driver forever. You know that, right Ani?” A weight seemed to settle on Anya’s chest. Something wasn’t right. Those words, the way he looked at her, it was too familiar. Memories started rushing back as she struggled to breathe and her world suddenly went blurry, then completely black. All at once, her eyes shot open and Anya sat up clutching her chest. Instinctively, she reached out beside her for Colt only for reality to crash down on her like a tidal wave. It was a dream. She was at Riya’s. It had been two weeks since she’d seen the boy she hated to love. Since his crazy plan had blown up in every possible way. Some literally, she internally cringed as the memory of Kaneko’s death washed over her again. It broke her in more ways that she had words for that Colt was grieving everything he’d ever loved alone. That Logan was on his own again when it was so clear that he needed and wanted a real home. Anya had no idea where Mona would end up, and didn’t expect to find out, she only hoped her unlikely friend and street-fashion mentor was safe from the Brotherhood. Wherever Toby and Ximena ended up, she knew they’d most likely be okay. They were the two she worried about the least. But Colt… Colt had been the wrench in the gears of Anya’s life since she’d met him and these days it seemed he was all she could think about. Sometimes it was because she missed him and sometimes it was because she wanted to throttle him.

This wasn’t what she’d been thinking that day at the bluffs. He’d taken her idea and blown it so far out of proportion it brought him and everyone else down. Anya wasn’t angry about the kidnapping, not anymore. She was angry he’d made her feel like his partner one moment, promising her all of L.A only to keep her out of the loop on a plan that jeopardized her safety and everyone else in the crew. Prom was only days away now and Anya could already feel the dread building in her stomach. If Riya hadn’t begged and guilt tripped her for a day and a half, Anya would’ve cancelled. Dancing reminded her of Colt, even if it was cheesy prom music. With a frustrated groan, Anya shoved all those thoughts from her mind and rolled over into her pillows and somehow managed to get a few more hours of sleep despite the giant hole she felt deep inside.