#or how unsafe one can feel in certain communities or pockets of the world

[urne-buriall]

https://at.tumblr.com/kingcasanuva/what-if-i-dont-want-to-leave-texas-the-only/fqnsirguz2h4

Is this not dean from spirit of the west. Sawry I’m obsessed

no it is! in reference to this post about wanting the south to be safe for LGBT+ folks and not just shuffling us all off into the liberal cities

this is a HUGE part of "spirit of the west" and I'm really glad you shared it because it's on purpose that it's there. because there's this narrative of "oh you poor country queer who isn't like your peers, one day you will go to The City and maybe they won't hate you there?"

but you love your fields and animals and 200 acres between you and your neighbours. and yes the city has drag nights and spacetime lectures, but you don't actually Belong there more

and there are good people in the country. there are queer people in the country. and you don't have to give up your queer identity to be here and you don't have to give up your rural identity to be queer because neither of those things is ALL of you anyways

in "spirit of the west," this was really important to me. it's a coming-of-age story where Dean learns a lot and loses a lot. there are some things he has to let go of, even if they aren't easy, but it's all so that he can be MORE himself than he was before. when he's talking to Cesar about it, there's an undercurrent of fear in him that if he's gay, he'll have to change who he is to fit this stereotypical mould of metropolitan queerness. but he doesn't! he's gay and he's who he always was

this came up in "our lights in ashes" as well because, again, this topic is kind of important to me. when I was writing about Morgan and Loretta, a trans couple living in small-town Tennessee, it was important to reflect that "the South" isn't one monolithic cesspool of bigotry. it was also important to me that these are older trans people, both into their fifties or sixties, because being trans wasn't invented by today's young people

like, Morgan literally says: “Some people asked why she didn’t leave and go to a city where she wouldn’t be so noticed, wouldn’t get talked about. But I think she was like me. I never could leave the small towns behind; the quietness, the country. Couldn’t help wanting a little bit of farm to look after.”

what I'm saying is that I have Many Feelings on this topic so thank you for the ask, my friend

[kingstylesdaily]

For Black Pop Stans, the Bare Minimum Is No Longer Enough

Black superfans have been erased from the story of pop for decades. Now, in looking for visibility and change, they’ve found each other.

By Brittany Spanos

Angela H. was marching in a Black Lives Matter protest in Hollywood on June 2nd when her friends pointed out something surprising. They’d spotted a man in black gloves, sunglasses, and a hoodie nearby in the crowd — and he looked just like Harry Styles, a pop star Angela has been stanning since 2011.

She wasn’t convinced at first. “Every part of me didn’t want to believe it for some reason,” Angela, 22, recalls. It wasn’t until she got a glimpse of one of his familiar tattoos that her mind began racing.

“I had seen figures like him at the Women’s March and protests against Trump four years ago, but this is specifically for black lives,” Angela says. “This is specifically for my life, for my community. Harry Styles is at a Black Lives Matter protest. This is something I wouldn’t have believed if someone had told me this two years ago.”

For Angela, being a black pop stan for more than a decade has been trying. Growing up half black and half Filipino, with a predominantly white community in her neighborhood and mostly white or white-passing friends, she sometimes felt like her connection to black culture wasn’t enough. As a pre-teen, she loved Justin Bieber’s music, which led her to stan Twitter — the constantly growing corner of social media where superfans build their online identity around the performers, shows, or films they love.

When she encountered another black Belieber’s quest to become the “One Less Lonely Girl” that Justin Bieber would pull on stage during every concert, she began to notice dividing lines in the fanbase. Why, she wondered, was it so rare to see him bring a black fan onstage for one of those onstage moments?

Eventually, in 2012, the owner of the “Black OLLG” account got her moment of being serenaded by Bieber. “I was like ‘Dang, somebody that looks like me and has my same skin color actually gets to be recognized in our stan culture,’” Angela recalls.

When Angela’s fandom pivoted to 1D in 2011, she began to feel overwhelmed by the online and in-person whiteness of the community surrounding her favorite group. She attended 17 One Direction concerts during the band’s tenure and often felt “unsafe,” in her words, in stadiums with few black or POC faces. At the handful of solo Styles and Niall Horan shows she has been to, she’s felt a familiar loneliness.

Online, where the identities of stans aren’t immediately legible, Angela could still sense an overbearing whiteness that allowed little space for black and POC stans. Through anonymous question sites like CuriousCat, she says, non-white Directioners would receive vile, racist remarks constantly.

“I didn’t grow up around a black community, so it was hard for me to understand how to respond to things,” she says. “I would just block it out. I genuinely didn’t know how to react.”

The group that Angela looked to for solace and a place in the world wasn’t always helpful. Young pop stars through the years have often stayed apolitical so as to not offend different factions of their fanbase, and One Direction weren’t an exception. Since going solo, Styles has remained a private pop star, with very limited social media use. When he began to pick up rainbow flags thrown on stage during his concerts, LGBTQ fans felt seen. When similar Black Lives Matter flags seemed like they were being ignored during his debut solo tour in 2017, black stans felt erased.

“I remember being angry,” Angela says, adding that Styles eventually posted an image of BLM posters that fans held up during one of his shows. “It was so bare minimum. It felt like he felt guilty.”

Angela remained on board as a fan of Styles, but as the protests seeking justice after George Floyd’s death began to spread across the country this spring, many fans like her demanded more from the stars they have supported. When Styles initially shared a petition on May 29th for the resignation and arrest of Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin, who suffocated Floyd with his knee, Styles fans begged for more. A day later, the singer wrote a longer post about his own privilege and his desire to educate himself, promising to donate to bail funds for arrested organizers.

On that early June afternoon in Hollywood, Angela marched alongside Styles until she began to see him exit the crowd. Her friends encouraged her to say something, and one of Styles’ friends helped wave him down. When they were face to face, she told him about her experience at his and One Direction’s shows: the sea of white faces, her own developing sense of black identity, and the way she never felt certain that the inclusivity he preached was truly meant to include people who look like her. The masked Styles listened intently and gave Angela a hug before they parted ways.

“To see him out there….it was just great to feel seen,” Angela says.

For black pop stans like Angela, that encounter with Styles was a rare moment of visibility in a genre with a loaded history of erasure. “Pop” has long been a restrictive term that the music industry uses to exclude the black artists who have built its base, while those same black artists’ contributions are appropriated every step of the way. For decades, the overwhelming cultural image of what a fan of pop music looks like has remained the screaming white teen girl, an image based almost entirely on the de facto segregation of the early days of rock & roll. It adds up to a limiting and untrue representation of music consumption, perpetuated in part by differences in who gets access to expensive concerts and even more expensive artist meet-and-greets.

Black pop fans have fought to be seen for decades — by the artists they love, and by the rest of their fan community. The public’s expectations for white pop stars to be politically active, let alone to speak out on racial injustice, have always been low, but their black listeners have always pushed harder for accountability and action. In the process, many have found each other, creating pockets of supportive communities those fans can turn to in order to feel seen, and sometimes to feel affirmed in their own blackness.

Read the rest of the article here.

--

Source: Billboard

[angstmonsterwrites]

I have to vent...

A post came across my dash decrying Americans as fundamentally un-empathetic, self-centered, unsafe, and untrustworthy. The author of that post gave plenty of anecdotally understandable reasons for why they felt that way. Their reasons ranged anywhere from conversations in a rather large forum defaulting to Americanized metrics or the expectation that American celebrities are recognized universally, to failures in basic human decency--a toxic, exclusionary LGBTQ culture and failures to give a damn about what goes on elsewhere in the world even if one has friends there.

My initial mental knee jerk response was to defend myself as an individual and to wonder if anyone outside the U.S. I’ve conversed with ascribes those awful traits to me, or maybe assumes they’re eventually going to rear their ugly head and therefore intentionally holds me at arms’ length. After all, most of the people I’ve wound up trying to connect with historically aren’t from my neck of the woods exactly. When disaster has struck those other countries, I have been worried. I have paid attention. I have checked for updates and maps outside of my country. If someone throws measurements in the Metric system at me, I really don’t mind. (Oh no. You’re making me conceptualize things using a system that logically goes by increments of 10? How dare.) The only thing I really stumble on is the Fahrenheit to Centigrade/ Celsius conversion, but that’s nothing that a two-second internet search won’t solve, and I’m sure as hell not going to bother the other person to do such a simple task for me. I’m a big girl--I can take care of my own blind spots and not burden others with them. I do not expect to be coddled or babied or have people spell things for me the American way. (I don’t care about celebrities at all, so I’m probably about as in the dark on American ones as I am those from anywhere else.) If anything, I hold myself to such a strict rule of “no one owes me shit” that I fail to push maybe even when I should. I’ll cower under the fear that asking an innocent question or an opinion is a terrible violation of someone’s privacy, much less make them justify why/ how they identify themselves a certain way.

That whole post was just completely jarring to me because the behavior it described came off as ticking down a list of one violation of my own values after another...and I’m an American. I’m a very self-isolating person, and I’ve encountered plenty of other Americans who would say the behavior described by that post is simply abhorrent; who cringe at that level of self-centeredness with severe second-hand embarrassment. To be honest, I make a point of keeping myself well away from people who feel the need to act like that in any capacity. I just don’t have the spoons...

**Deep breath**

I don’t think the author of that post was wrong, but they are not right either. They are certainly right that the Americans they have encountered have the negative traits they describe. But I cannot stress enough that America is not a monolith. The one thing that cooled me off just enough to type this out was when I considered that I have at times had similar thoughts about certain states within the union. Does America have a seedy sub-culture or pockets of rudeness and narcissism? Well...yes, yes we do. My country wouldn’t be in the troublesome place we find ourselves in 2020 if not for that bloviating, hyper-partisan sect of Americans, including some of the socially ‘liberal’ ones. And they are very, very loud in online spaces. However, and for instance, the LGBTQ folks I’ve encountered IRL have almost always been far more inclusive, compassionate, and welcoming than most of the nit-picking, soul-shredding hell-scapes online.

Talking to my younger sister, who is far less socially broken then myself, and maintains friendships in various places around the world--Lithuania, Singapore, Japan, Spain, Portugal, Italy, Greek, Ukraine, etc. etc.--she says that her friends’ most repeated perspective on Americans is that you can’t truly understand who they are if you haven’t been here, and it probably helps to have visited more than one region. (Most of these friends, she met when she was attending art school in Chicago, so they’ve had the opportunity to see for themselves.) Their take was similar to the pattern I’d noticed with LGBTQ communities--the rude, invasive, judgemental American asshats are loud and all over the place online, but on the ground, it’s another matter altogether; a mixed bag where the good is very good and kindness is common enough, while the bad ranges anywhere from slightly annoying to outright putrid but are no means representative of the character of the nation as a whole.

(Another small note: The American sociopolitical sphere has also been under online assault by Russian bots and trolls posing as Americans, seeking to divide and inflame for several years now. “Is that really an American or--?” is not an unfair question to ask. Not saying that there aren’t more than enough true-blue shit heads, but their numbers are literally being exaggerated and the toxicity of their discourse beefed up from without.)

[sunshine-idiots]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Satoshi | Ash Ketchum/Gou Characters: Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Gou (Pokemon) Additional Tags: Fluff, Kisses, Established Relationship, they’ve been dating two weeks, Enthusiastic Consent, self doubt but they get there in the end, communication is hard for two dumbass teenagers Summary:

Gou has been acting suspiciously, and Ash wants to get to the bottom of it.

Read below:

Gou was acting strange.

Yes, they had become boyfriends two weeks ago, officially. Unofficially, they had been getting rather close for a long time coming. Ash had to admit his part in always seeking out Gou’s touch with increasing gestures. Arms around Gou’s shoulder, ruffling his hair, resting his head on his shoulder.

But he could always feel Gou was a little awkward with touch, almost like he wasn’t used to it. So when they started their relationship, Ash didn’t want to rush him into anything.

They were walking down the street on their third official date (though they had done this a million times before) by the riverside when Ash first noticed the odd behaviour.

“Gou, do you want anything?” Ash said, stopping in his tracks and turning his head to face Gou. It hit him how close their faces were. He could see all of Gou’s eyelashes like this. How lucky was he to have such a pretty boyfriend?

Gou started looking flustered, blush creeping up to his ears, stuttering something undecipherable. His gaze hovered, almost expectantly.

Then his eyes moved to Ash’s hand pointing towards the store.

“Oh…oh. Ice cream, of course,” he said, then muttered something else under his breath. “No, I’m fine, I’m not hungry.” He sounded disappointed for some reason.

Ash thought it was strange, but he let it go. Maybe Gou was just having trouble fighting his inner desires for sugar. Or he was feeling happy too.

“Well I want some!” Ash said. “After those fluffy things last time, I’ve really gotten a liking for Galar food!”

Gou shook his head affectionately. “You’ll eat anything as long as there’s sugar in it.”

“You know me well,” Ash said, already taking his ice cream from the window counter, and taking a slurping bite so ice cream got all around his mouth. “Want some?”

“Ash…” Gou said, mouth hanging slightly open for a moment as he seemed to compose himself. “D-don’t speak with your mouth full!”

Huh, again. That strange feeling. Ash was used to Gou getting embarrassed over silly things, it was part of his charm. But there wasn’t really anything special either of these times.

Nothing else strange happened during that date. Just silly memories that Ash filed away happily into his mental bank. Gou, with chocolate ice cream smeared all over his cheek after missing the ice cream with his mouth entirely. Gou, staring out at the ocean with a faraway expression, eyes twinkling like he could see something Ash couldn’t. Gou, laughing wholeheartedly at Ash’s stupid joke, so hard his eyes started tearing up.

Wow, it was all Gou, wasn’t it?

It was in those kinds of moments Ash really wanted to kiss him. He found his eyes lingering a second too long on his lips, found himself thinking how easy it would be to just close the distance and let them be one.

But he had already decided he’d take this at Gou’s pace. Even if affection came naturally to Ash, he had reason to believe Gou wasn’t so free. Ash had memories of a time, even if it was months ago, when Gou had woken up from a nightmare and Ash had hugged him to try comfort him. Gou had pushed him away almost as if it was instinct.

“I’m sorry Ash…I just have a hard time being touched sometimes.”

Ash wasn’t an idiot, he knew there must be some reason behind it. So he backed off. “That’s fine,” he said. “But can I sit with you here?”

“Y-yeah,” Gou said. “I’d like that.”

He’d never do anything Gou didn’t want him to do. He had decided that long ago, and he held to that now.

“Gah…” Ash groaned into his pillow. As good of a person he tried to be, he was still a teenage boy, and that came with certain desires. Gou was so attractive too, with his pretty sky blue eyes and fluffy hair and cute smile. Gou, why won’t you just…muah!

But wait, those times that Gou had been acting weird…those were also moments were Ash felt like he could kiss him. He could almost feel the anxious energy surrounding him at those times.

Was Gou uncomfortable? He didn’t want to make him feel unsafe around him in any way…

“Ash?” Gou appeared, having opened the door slowly without Ash noticing. His hair was wet and dripping onto the towel around his neck, and he was already changed into his pyjamas. Ash tried not to think about how huggable and kissable that made him look.

“Oh, hey! Done already?”

“Yeah,” Gou said. Ash could have sworn he blushed again. It was a surprise he didn’t pass out with all the blood being diverted to blushing.

“What’s up with you?”

The question slipped out before Ash knew it. Although he knew it was better to let things work themselves out naturally sometimes, he hated letting this sit unresolved for even a week. They were partners, so it was only natural for him to get involved.

“What do you mean?”

“You keep acting…I can’t put my finger on it, but at certain times, you get flustered for no reason, and then you start muttering to yourself.”

“So what?” Gou crossed his arms with an expression daring Ash to challenge him. “That’s all perfectly normal behaviour.”

“Hey, you know I’ll never win in a battle of evidence,” Ash said. “I just had a feeling, that’s all. If there’s anything you want to talk about, or anything you’re not happy about, please tell me. I’ll change, or help you, or even just listen.”

He left a silence for Gou to process, and answer if he wanted to. Gou stared at the ground, looking as though he was solving the world’s hardest maths problem in his head, but after a few minutes he spoke.

“It’s nothing big,” he said, slowly. To Ash’s surprise, Gou’s lips quirked up in a half smile. Ash saw a glint of determination flicker in his eyes. “Actually, it’s not really a problem at all, I think.”

“Hmm?” He was genuinely perplexed, and felt like Gou had somehow gotten the upper hand without him knowing what was going on.

“You can’t take a hint,” Gou said. “It’s frustrating.”

“I told you before! Just tell me if you want something!”

“How was I supposed to know the ice cream would look so good when you got it!”

“I was going to get you one…”

Gou was getting more and more wound up. “And then I couldn’t even eat it properly! I made it drop on the ground and ruined it for both of us!”

“I didn’t know you had such a taste for sweets,” Ash said, not able to resist the urge to tease despite Gou’s rising tension.

Gou grabbed his own head, shaking it. “I just want you to know what I want! But I don’t! Because it’s so embarrassing and you’ll make fun of me!”

“There’s nothing wrong with liking sweets,” Ash said, thinking Gou’s reaction was way out of proportion to the actual scenario. Were they even having the same conversation? “I’ll never make fun of you. It’s only normal to make mistakes like that. I didn’t know you were so bothered by it.”

Gou gave him a long, searching stare, then seemed to run out of steam. His head drooped like a doll.

This was going nowhere.

“Hey, come on,” Ash piped up. “What is it they told us in school? Oh! Just use your words!”

Gou looked unimpressed. “Right…”

“You were going to blurt something out before right? You looked so determined! Do it now!” Ash stared right into Gou’s eyes, trying to infuse him with the energy and guts he needed. “Guts! Guts! Guts!”

Gou burst out laughing. “You are an interesting person indeed…let’s see just how much you need before it gets through your thick skull.”

He started to lean in, eyelashes fluttering shut, his hand hesitantly cupping the back of Ash’s neck. It started registering in Ash’s head what he was intending to do when their lips were mere centimetres apart, because the only thing that was in his mind was oh god oh god oh god.

He put his hand up between them, blocking the kiss just before it happened.

“Woah woah woah! Wait!”

Gou opened his eyes, and noticed he was kissing Ash’s hand. His lips were moving quite enthusiastically too. He leapt back in shock.

“I can explain,” Ash said, trying not to laugh.

Gou’s face flickered through a range of emotions, from embarrassed to confused to disappointed to intensely frustrated.

“Don’t you want to kiss me!?”

“Huh?”

Gou looked down shyly. “T-that took guts. I thought you’d accept it at least…I guess you never did want to.”

“No, no, you’ve got it wrong,” Ash said. “What gave you that idea?”

“What, apart from never showing any sign of wanting to kiss me?” Gou said. His voice wasn’t even bitter, just sad. “I thought, well, since you didn’t do anything…you didn’t really want me. And well, I read that most couples kiss by the second date, so-”

“No, you’re wrong!” He said it with all the conviction in the world, hoping it would get through to Gou just how sincere he was. “I want to kiss you so badly it hurts!”

“You’re just saying that,” Gou said. Though he did look like he was considering his words.

“I’ve been super super wanting to kiss you!” Ash said. “I didn’t want to make you distressed! Since you always get so anxious and worked up when it comes to things like this! But you can ask absolutely anything, and I will always provide!”

“Don’t make it sound dodgy…” Gou said, laughing. “But I think you should ask, and I’ll give you my permission.” He smiled. “Or maybe we could agree that kisses are simply on the table, permanently.”

“You sure?” Ash asked seriously.

“It is true I have some trouble with some intimate things, but that’s something that I want to work through together, not avoid,” Gou said. “Or else, why would I even want to be your boyfriend?”

“Privileges of being attached to a world famous Pokemon trainer?”

Gou flicked him over the forehead. “In your dreams.”

They stared at each other. So, all that anxious energy Ash had been detecting was anticipation? Excitement? Frustration? Or maybe Gou was worried, but he wanted to do this with him.

“Tell me if you ever don’t want to do anything,” Ash whispered.

“Oh my god,” Gou said, looking like he wanted to hide his face but unable to when they were this close. “Just do it.”

Their lips met. Well, more accurately, their noses bumped violently into each other, both of them having sacrificed coordination for speed in their keenness, and they adjusted themselves into a more favourable position.

This time, the sensation of Gou’s hand around his neck, pulling him in, made him feel tingly all over. He threaded his own hands through Gou’s hair. Gou’s scent filled his senses, the strawberry shampoo he used mixed in with a smell that Ash could only describe as Gou. It made him feel at ease, pleasant, mixed with the sensation of Gou’s lips moving on his.

He felt a bit of pressure, like the first one to move away was the one who had the weaker conviction. But he really needed to breath.

“Fuwah!” Ash said. “Don’t know how those people in the world record did it!”

“You were holding your breath? You know you have a nose right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Ash said, rubbing said nose sheepishly.

“I’m not really sure what to do after this…” Gou said.

“I’ve never…well, not properly,” Ash said. He pretended to look thoughtful for a few seconds, before blurting out his most obvious thought. “Want to keep kissing?”

Gou smirked. “I’m that good, huh?”

“Nah, could use a little more practice,” Ash said, grinning as he leaned in again. And again. And again.

He could get used to this.

[skeletorific]

Underfell and Swapfell Meta (aka the longest fucking post)

*You hear a distant sound of knuckles cracking. There is a shuffle, like someone sitting down and then a sound of rapid typing.

Let’s begin.

So. To start broadly:

What does it mean to “Fell” a timeline?

The original Underfell began as a simple concept: an alternative universe where “kill or be killed” was not simply Flowey’s bleak outlook, but the law of the land.

What I’m interested in dissecting here is how that law is enforced in both Fell and Swapfell, and how the societies these different enforcements styles influence the characters that populate it.

I’m going to start off with a similar origin story for the “kill or be killed” law, referring to characters by their roles rather than their names to avoid Asgore/Toriel, Frisk/Chara, etc confusion.

Essentially, both Fell and Swapfell already had worlds that were naturally more inclined to certain levels of brutality and violence, but these took a decided turn for the worst when the First Human and the Royal Heir made an attempt to break the barrier and were slaughtered by the humans living at the foot of Ebott. In a fit of grief and anger the Ruler Goat declared not only all-out war on humanity, but that until they were free of the barrier, the weak would be winnowed out of their society to ensure that when they Barrier collapsed humanity would be facing the strongest fighting force monsterkind could muster. This is the world that the Pacifist Child will eventually fall into.

This is where the timelines diverge.

I’ll start with Fell, for.....

reasons.

Asgore, regardless of universe, is inclined to make impulsive decisions, especially when under emotional duress. His Fell counterpart is no different in this. In his grief and anger he enacted the harshest forms of martial law, promising to his subjects that unless they were prepared to fight for their lives, they would not be allowed to keep them. Monsters as a society have a strong sense of communal emotion. They felt his anger as their own, and in the end, enough of them were incensed enough against humans that they were ready to follow his lead even down this darkest of paths. The few dissenting voices were soon too busy fighting off the others to rebel, and eventually were either wiped out or had adjusted to the new world order.

The first few years were pure anarchy. Monsters barely stirred outside their door, expecting to be preyed upon at any moment. Certain, more friendly and trusting subsets of monsters, like Whimsuns and Vulkins, were completely wiped out. Others, like Tems and Froggits, had their numbers severely reduced and were forced to become far more brutal. It was during this period that Toriel decided she had had enough and left for the Ruins. At first, she tried to create a safe space for monsters to retreat to, but the violence found its way into the Ruins until she eventually sealed herself off. She is disillusioned and cold, and can in fact be one of the most frightening characters in the Underground if you get on her bad side.

The anarchy wasn’t sustainable. Even if you are the biggest and the strongest monster in the area, you eventually get tired of looking over your shoulder for attackers hoping to get lucky. Anarchy transformed into Kratocracy, rule of the strong.  Eventual pockets of relative order started to form around the Underground. As mentioned, Toriel held sway over the Ruins, and though she cared little what her subjects did amongst themselves, she made certain she and any of her children would be able to walk freely.

In Snowdin, Grillby was the major power player. His bar was a strictly no-weapons zone: customers feeling unsafe was bad for business. The fireman became landlord/ defacto mayor (of sorts) over the area. He was strong enough to protect clients that paid his rent (excessive though it was), and eventually, troublemakers were either killed off or contented themselves with picking off the occasional straggler in the forest. Disappearances are not looked into but a tenuous order is kept. When the skeleton brothers moved in for a while it looked like there might be a bit of turf war between Edge and Fellby. However, Red saw to it that an uneasy truce was negotiated between them. Red ensures the Grillby’s shadier activities are ignored while Edge uses his influence over the local chapter of the Royal Guard to punish troublemakers.

Despite housing the Captain of the Royal Guard, Waterfall is a pretty much the Wild West. Tem Village and Gerson’s shop are perhaps the only areas where you can afford to sleep for a few minutes and even then its like as not your wallet will be taken in the process. Undyne has too much on her plate to be concerned with being on the clock at her own house. The area is home to some of the Underground’s most brutal and aggressive monsters, as well as a hilariously out of place snail ranch, run by the one being in the Underground who literally cannot be killed. Napstablook is not a good-tempered ghost, however, and lingering near his farm is not recommended.

The Lab is Alphys’ small kingdom, and in addition to the Amalgamates that serve as her guard dogs (brutal and twisted reminders of what she can do to monsters that cross her), she also has the Captain of the Royal Guard on a hook, and Undyne will send extra protection to her for whatever reason.

Hotland is deceptively peaceful. Muffet and Mettaton duke it out in a resource batter but open warfare is ultimately detrimental to both of them. It scares off the customers. Don’t let your guard down, though. This town is not a fist to a face, but a knife in the back. Not to mention the graphic stories of what Muffet will do to you if you don’t have money for safe passage.

The road to New Home is....surprisingly unguarded. Perhaps a silent challenge from Asgore to test his mettle. Or maybe the rumors are true. The king regrets his decision and silently prays he’ll be deposed. Angry and embittered by his countless losses, and remorseful for what he’s done to the world he once swore to protect.

Ultimately Underfell is not a society with any kind of consistent ruling class. The citizens of Snowdin are more beholden to Grillby and the brothers than whatever the royals are saying. All you need to gain and keep power is to be both strong and wary. There will always be challengers,  but the battle is in many ways honest. Schemers are few and far between.

The Underground also places a supreme amount of emphasis on the militarization of its citizens. Though the purpose has been muddied there is still a strong belief that the reason they are still doing this is to make sure humans will be facing off against the strongest fighting force imaginable. Strength, however toxic, is valuable. Brawn is also prized over brain. While a certain amount of cunning is always welcome academic types are regarded as highly suspect. Its hard to communicate to people perpetually in danger of being killed off that yes, your equations are definitely helping. Alphys’ predecessor was thrown into his own Core for not producing results in a timely manner, and she is forever paranoid of meeting the same fate. This is also why Red is even more reticent than his Tale counterpart about his background as a scientist. Ultimately its safer for him to be perceived as a thug than an engineer.

However, the primary theme of Undertale rings true through all the AUs.  There is something at the core of these people that is good. Though they can be lead by bullies and tyrants, they have a lot of respect for courage and determination. This is how a Pacifist Human can win them over. The willingness to continue to overcome obstacles while sticking to your principles is a rare trait, but one that they find fundamentally compelling. Everyone is beginning to grow weary of the war, of the loss. Suddenly the possibility of laying down their swords doesn’t seem nearly as distasteful as it once might have.

Swapfell is a very different story.

Now, buckle up kids, Toriel dissertation time.

The canon on Toriel is very....nebulous at best. Honestly this probably stems in part from the fact that most aus are built from a single character up, and this character is more often than not a Sans or a Papyrus. Its also probably a result of Toriel not being a particularly popular character for lengthy character dissertations and examination in the way Alphys or Papyrus is. Most people tend to leave it at goat mom, so the shuffle of Toriel through aus tends to be very.....flexible.

This isn’t to shit on any particular version of Toriel. We’re all making this shit up as we go along with aus and people are free to like what they like and make what they make. However, for me, what I prefer to do with aus is boil an Undertale character down to an essential flaw and an essential strength and try to preserve that across aus. For Sans, its resignation and perceptiveness. For Papyrus, its lack of self confidence and loyalty.

For Toriel, the two things I tend to preserve for her is this. Her essential flaw is stubborness, especially as relates to her stringent ethics. What she prioritizes may shift a bit. I think the Swap generally leads her to prioritize the freedom of her people over the lives of individual humans. But what is unchanging is her unwavering dedication to them. Regardless of who she has to cut out of her life, she will dedicate her all to those ethics. And her greatest strength is her maternal nature: she has a strong desire to bring out the best in people she cares about, and will tend to nurture them whether they like it or not.

Now, a Fell version would twist this a bit. No matter how I looked at it I couldn’t see any version of Toriel making the impulse choice to enact kill or be killed. No matter how brutal the world that’s quite a leap to make, and I never see Toriel as a person inclined to rashness.

So rather than a royal edict, I believe kill or be killed was less the law of the land, and more an ethos that slipped in. Swapfell Toriel is a gifted manipulator. Her maternal nature and her known attachments to everyone Underground meant she would be trusted. So when she began her work, it never occurred to anyone to distrust her.

Toriel’s resentment didn’t only fester towards humankind (though that certainly was a part of it). In a way she came to resent the world around her. How they were all chasing a dream that many of them would likely never see the end of. They grew and overtime came to forget her children as they looked towards the stars and prayed to be rejoined to them. As much as she wished the children had never gone, at least they had gotten up to do something. At least they had acted. Would any of these monsters have the courage to?

So Toriel did what any good mother would do when she saw her child sitting listless. She gave them a little push.

Rivalries were exacerbated by her playing back and forth between them. She encouraged Gaster, then Alphys to employ harsher tactics on lower criminals, arguing that consistent parasites would hurt the Underground more and more in the long run. At the same time, she pulled them back from larger conspiracies unless it was too big to ignore, creating an environment that proliferated backstabbing and theft. Her favor was never guaranteed with any of them, and she changed her minds on decisions that her courtiers feared that her mind had been taken in her grief, which earned her the moniker “The Mad Queen”. If she’s crazy, though, its like a fox.

Kill or be killed did become the law of the land, in practice if not indeed. The understanding was that anything goes, as long as you’re not stupid enough to caught. However, rather than kratocracy (rule of the strong), swapfell is more oligarchy (rule of a few). Those who already had previous access to resources and enough ruthlessness to survive quickly rose to the top.

Grillby and Napstaton continually battle for supremacy over Hotland and are the primary resource providers for the entire region. Their employees have the highest mortality rate of the entire Underground, but the pay is also unspeakably good. And given that both of them charge heavy protection fees to anyone unlucky enough to live in that area, many are willing to weather the risks.

Undyne runs her own roost in the lab but it largely content to remain unbothered by the outside world. There are rumors of her kidnapping monsters that get too close and....modifying them, but she’d argue that she’s doing them a favor by making them stronger.

Alphys’ extreme anxiety is more understandable than ever. Her job as Captain of the Royal Guard has rapidly transformed from keeper of justice to keeper of power. She has to keep those in Toriel’s favor happy, even if they’re intentions are unjust. This has lowered popular opinion of her quite a bit, and many regard her as merely a lapdog with a hammer. It gnaws at her, as she still has a profound loyalty to her people, and when she can she’ll often try to get around her orders, but in general she tends to lock herself away to hide from the shame.

Muffet is not quite the powerhouse in Snowdin as Fellby is in his version, given that she prefers to keep to herself. Still, her bar is a well known front for most of the dirty deeds done in the region. She’ll keep your secrets, for a price, and has her fingers in the pies of pretty much everything going on Underground. She’s not as cold-blooded as she’d like to appear. Ultimately if you’re down on your luck she simply sends you on your way and doesn’t bother with you. But never, EVER, cut her out of a deal. Her pet is a hungry beast.

The bros I’ve gone into lengthy detail elsewhere, so I won’t deal with it much here, but they work in alliance with Muffet and try to keep their fingers on the pulse of the town.

Asgore left Toriel once he began to understand that her newfound hobby of pitting their people against each other wasn’t going to change. He had no larger goal in mind. His mind and heart were tired, and he simply wanted to spend his days in peace, nurturing his flowers and speaking to no one as he lived with his grief. However, the monsters of the Ruins have grown wicked with their years of isolation, and he is forced to resort to brutal techniques to stay alive. His trident is never far from him, and as we all know, daffodils can be highly toxic when pushed down one’s throat. Always keep an eye on his tea.

The Swapfell monsters are hands down the hardest to redeem out of the main four aus, but like Fell they have their softer points. In a world predicated on relationships most of them are naturally inclined to quite a bit of loyalty. Friendship is a risky business, but almost all of them have a person they would sacrifice anything for without question. For the bros its each other. For Alphys, Undyne. For Grillby, Fuku. You see how it goes. Getting in good with one will ensure that the other is more likely to go easier on you. They also have an inherent respect for craftiness. Where Underfell monsters will mock and despise you for dodging attacks and running away, Swapfell monsters have an appreciation for a tactical retreat and may even praise you for avoiding getting a scratch on you the entire battle. Ultimately, they’re all tired of this long dark period, and would welcome the opportunity for peace, for no longer looking over their shoulder. The Human only has to convince them to admit that to themselves.

[howtohero]

How many times have you see this? You and your squad have gone storming fists first into a haunted castle or a rogue government laboratory. The place is big and most of the world’s heroest are off-world fighting *checks notes* three million jelly fish? Really? In space? So your team is small, so small that it will take you forever to find what you’re looking for and uch who has the time for that. So you split up. Your watches are synchronized, your communicators are charged, Mega Mouth, the loudest man to have ever lived, is there, if he calls out you can all converge. What’s the worst that can happen? The mission ends in success, you’ve recovered the nuclear flapjack or the souls of the seven warlocks of the east or you’ve brought down the criminal empire of The Mobster. In fact things went better than any of you could have ever expected. It almost seems like... No, it couldn’t be. Could it have been too easy? Have you perhaps misjudged what the bad guy’s ultimate goal here was? Are they actually closer than ever to achieving world domination? Yes, yes and maybe, depending on how competent they are. (A villain’s competence can generally be assessed by counting the number of underlings they’ve employed who are clearly waiting for a chance to stab them in the back. If the number is higher than zero they are incompetent.) You see you or one of your friends may very well have fallen victim to one of the oldest tricks in the supervillain playbook. Please join us as we embark on our 150th post where we will discuss:

Mind Control

“Mind control, because hiring willing employees is complicated!” “Mind control, because you shouldn’t have to tell them twice!” “Mind control, because free will is such an unpredictable thing!” “Mind control, because can we really trust people to have thoughts that we didn’t give them!” These are just a few of the many slogans that the mind control industry has used in an attempt to sell people on the idea of having thoughts sold to them. Supervillains have been using mind control ever since the first brains were invented, to get unwitting pawns to do their dirty work. There are many different forms mind control can take, let’s take a look at a few of them and how they’ve been used, and how we as a superhero community can fight back against them.

Brain Washing This is one of the oldest, and bluntest, forms of mind control. Brain washing is not when a brain is literally removed from a head and placed in a bathtub or dishwasher or something. Rather it refers to a metaphorical scrubbing, an erasure of everything that is contained within a brain, including memories, personalities and even emotions and feelings. The brainwashing process usually leaves a supervillain with a blank slate. The poor sap they’ve kidnapped can then be molded into whatever kind of person the villain needs them to be. A fighter, a chaufer, a professional heckler, whatever they need to fulfill their maniacal machinations. The reeducation process might include pro-crime propaganda (you know motivational posters that say things like “stabbing is cool” or “push your neighbor down a flight of stairs”) or specific anti-superhero lessons (things like “Did you know that Ultiman loves double-dipping?” or “Have you heard literally anything about Professor Paleontologist?”). In no time at all our brain-bathing baddies will have a brand new henchman all of their own. Supervillains sometimes make use of this method because- (hey, this is exactly why we hired a supervillain correspondent) We did not do that. (You’re telling me you can explain why a supervillain might brainwash somebody better than a supervillain who lives in our basement and is literally named Dr. Brainwave?) All right I see your point... <Excellent! I knew you’d come around. Ahem, brainwashed henchmen are far more reliable than those free-thinking goons we’ve discussed before. They follow orders to a tee. They have no regard for their own safety. They can’t be reasoned with or manipulated or bribed by those devious, super fools that are always trying to put a halt to your plans. But at the same time, brainwashing is only good if you have the means to build a person from the ground up. The victim will need to relearn everything. How to walk, how to talk, how to go to the bathroom on their own. They’ll be like an infant, smelly and useless. Sure, once a you’ve brainwashed a few pitiful maggots you can pretty much just have them teach and watch after each other but the first go around you’re going to have to spend a lot of time crafting the person you want. Which is why I almost never do it anymore. But you know who does? Which insignificant mad scientist wannabe is still utilizing these antiquated claptrap methods? That hack, Professor Brain-Scrambler. You’ve never met any man as pathetic as he. That absolute fo-> Yeah so that was a mistake. 

Brainwashing can also be very difficult to undo. Generally when a brain is wiped clean it’s wiped clean, that’s it. Occasionally, the bad guys who are preforming the procedure might keep the “data” they pull from the brain for safe keeping (usually in the form of a glowing sphere) in which case all you need to do is retrieve the personality sphere and reunite it with the body. Sometimes a supervillain won’t do as thorough of a job as they’d thought <ha, certainly sounds like that buffoon Brain-Scrambler to me> and the victim’s former personality and memories can resurface, usually when they’re exposed to objects or people from their past. Other times though, the most that you can do for these people is to just rescue them from the employ of the supervillains and return them to non-supervillain society. Other times a skilled enough psychic can restore a brainwashed victim’s personality with enough time. (talk about the fish!) NO! <Did you know he isn’t even a real professor? He’s been rejected from the Villain’s College 17 times! I should know, I penned the rejection letters myself after intercepting his applications and feeding them to my mutant alligators.>

Hypnosis Similar to brainwashing, hypnosis allows a villain to imprint something new onto a victim. While brainwashing is often permanent though, hypnotism is always temporary. Hypnosis is useful when a villain needs a quick, disposable henchperson or if they want to ruin somebody’s reputation or frame them for a crime, especially a superhero’s. Hypnotized people will often have no memory of their actions while they were under the spell of the hypnotist and thus a villain can cause a person a lot of grief by using this method. They can force a person to do something unsavory, wait for the hypnosis to fade, and then wait for them to realize, or be informed about, what they’ve done and watch them collapse as they’re forced to live with the guilt of what they did for the rest of their lives. 

Hypnotized people will often behave more like zombies than actual living people and so they are easy to spot and stop (and tops) before they get into any real trouble. Just make sure you don’t confuse them for an actual zombie and shoot them in the head or set them on fire or something. That would be bad. What this means though, is that breaking a hypnotist’s hold is about as easy as waking somebody up. Loud noises, vigorous shaking, true love’s kiss. Take your pick. (I recommend the vigorous shaking, especially if you’re using our new, state-of-the-art Unhypnotizeinator, which consists of what amounts to a tilt-a-whirl that we got for a steal after the amusement park it was in was shut down for having a “criminally unsafe” tilt-a-whirl.) Sometimes though, even after a hypnotized person is awakened from their trance they can lapse back into it if certain stimuli are in place. The most common one is falling into actual sleep. In cases like these the person who has been hypnotized will fall asleep, as people are wont to do, and then immediately wake up under the control of Pocket Watch or the Hypster or whomever. If someone you know has been hypnotized make sure that you always have loud music playing and just live out the rest of your days making sure that they never have a moment of sleep ever again. Or you can best the evil hypnotist in combat. That’ll usually break the spell. Either that or you’ll have to destroy the enchanted watch or pendulum that they’re using to hypnotize people.

Sleeper Agents Like hypnosis, sleeper agents can be switched back and forth between being fully-in-control and fully-under-control. But unlike sleeper agents, the victims won’t actually be asleep or in a sleep-like state. Even though the word “sleep” is right there in the name. What a broken language this is. Sleeper agents (sleepers agent?) can be activated through a series of codewords or images and once activated they become basically brainwashed victims. Except they come fully-loaded with all those nifty things humans can do. No matter potty-training dangerous assassins, these guys can go all on their own! Sleeper agents might have entire secret lives that even they themselves aren’t aware of. They could even have an entirely different skillset that is accessed only when they are activated by their handler. Right now you (yes you) could have the ability to breakdance or bake wonderful soufflés or shoot a moving target at 300 meters and you’d never know it! (Atlantis cable news rhubarb kerfuffle. Try now.) 

Sleeper agents are some of the most dangerous enemies a superhero could have. Anybody could be one. Your best friend, the guy who runs the best coffee cart in New York City, the librarian, any of them could be sleeper agents who just need to hear the right sequence of colors and Major League Baseball teams to try to rip your throat out. It is extremely difficult to remove a sleeper agent program from a person’s mind. The process requires what amounts to a lobotomy, carving away at the parts of the brain, or hopefully, the implants in the brain, that cause the neighborhood mailman to turn into a hyper-competent ninja. 

The Power of Suggestion This kind of mind control is usually superpower based. Instead of rewriting a person’s entire personality or taking control of them indefinitely, villains with this power will simply issue a command to some poor sap and use their powers to force them to carry it out. People who under this kind of mind control will usually be fully aware of what’s happening, but they are completely unable to stop it. Usually this type of control will fade either after a set amount of time or after the victim has carried out the command. 

Generally, the only way to prevent a victim of this kind of mind control from carrying out their dastardly directives is to physically prevent them from doing so until the time-limit has passed. This could mean you have to physically restrain the person or simply knock them unconscious. (By throwing a brick at their head.) Be careful though, usually villains with these powers will be crafty sons of mothers. They’ll often have a couple of people under their control at the same time. These people will sometimes be redundancies, meaning if you stop one of them there will be another to carry out the same task. Other times they’ll be used to appeal to your sense of preserving-innocent-livesism and the sly suggestive supervillain will have ordered them to cause themselves or others bodily harm should the one who you’re trying to stop be stopped. With villains like these you need to outsmart them, or somehow find a way of disabling their powers. Otherwise, every moment they can speak is a moment they can place another person under their control. Remember, their powers are speech related so if they can’t speak they can’t use them. Try taking them out for a raging night of karaoke and screaming at pigeons, their voice will definitely be gone by the next morning and you can lock them up in a power neutralizing cell or like a deserted island where they can’t speak to anybody.

Mind control is one of the most dangerous techniques supervillains use in their never ending quest to take over some body of land. Which makes sense, not only are they evil but they have a strong enough will to get out of bed every morning and clomp around town in a ridiculous psychedelic battle suit, they’re not going to be very interested in allowing other people to keep their substantially weaker wills are they? Fortunately mind control can be combatted, not only with all of the ways we just mentioned, but also with a regular old sheet of tinfoil. That’s right! None of these mind controlling methods can get through regular, off-the-shelf, aluminum foil. So unwrap that sandwich you’ve been saving and make yourself a gosh darn hat out of tinfoil. If you need help making said hat, Hatman actually runs hat-making seminars every Friday night. (So hey, I guess everybody’s free to do crime in Hatsburg on Friday nights.) <Good to know!> Wait, no!

Thanks to all of my fans and supporters (that’s you guys!) and death by a thousand bolts of lightning to all my enemies (that might be you guys too!) [Wait,what?] {Oh you still work here?} [Of course I still work here!] Here’s to another 150 posts, stay tuned for a master post and a few small announcements later today! 

[somewhereapart]

Strays (Baker’s Dozen verse)

For OQ Prompt Party Day 7: 118. Roland finds two kittens, they love Regina the most.

They’ve been trying to wear her down for weeks – months, even. Ever since Lydia turned two, Henry and Roland have been lobbying for a pet.

She’d forbidden a puppy point-blank. She doesn’t have the time, or the energy, to deal with an apartment full of chewed shoes and puddles of pee. Lydia is enough of a destroyer as it is, she doesn’t need an accomplice.

And kittens, well… She’s never really been a fan. They just seem too… prissy, too aloof. Self-sufficient, yes, that’s great, but… She’s just not a pet person.

In the end, though, the decision is made for her, on a muggy night in late August. They’ve left the baby to the capable hands of Belle and August, opting to take the boys to a dinner that doesn’t involve high chairs or Cheerios. Something more grown up as a final send-off to summer before school starts.

It was Henry’s turn to choose, and there hadn’t been a moment of hesitation: he wanted “Chinatown dumplings” – what he calls the pork soup dumplings that he and Emma often go stuff themselves with on their regular playdates. She always takes him to the same place—a little cash-only hole-in-the-wall down below Canal Street—and it’s apparently serious business.

They sit around a communal table, and Henry instructs them very carefully in the right way to eat their dumplings without spilling the soup or burning their tongues (Roland does both, but he doesn’t seem to mind), and by the time they leave, they’re all happy and packed to the gills with dumplings, and rice, and beef with string beans, and orange shrimp, and chicken lo mein.

They stroll down darkened streets together, Robin’s arm slung over her shoulder, the boys several paces ahead chattering away – close enough that it doesn’t feel unsafe but far enough that they feel like they have their freedom.

It’s been a good night. A wonderful night.

So when the boys stop near a small mountain of trash piled up by the curb, she doesn’t think much of it. She notices, sure, and grimaces, and says a prayer of thanks that she’d thrown a fresh bottle of hand sanitizer in her purse just yesterday. But she doesn’t call out to them until they’re bending down and reaching toward the pile.

Even then, it’s only a stern (but mild), “Stay out of the trash!”

Henry glances up and waves a hand fervently at them, beckoning them forward, but Roland’s attention is rapt.

When she and Robin catch up, it becomes immediately clear why.

One of the garbage bags has a hole in it, little bits of fish and sour liquid spilled out on the sidewalk, and there, making a meal of it, is a pair of calico kittens.

“Daddy, look!” Roland exclaims, reaching out and scooping up one of the mangy little things before Regina can stop him. It meows loudly, twisting in his grasp, and all Regina can think about is fleas. Fleas, and maybe rabies.

“I see, my boy,” Robin says, crouching down near the piles and saying, “But we should probably put him back where we found him, so his mummy and daddy can find him.”

“He doesn’t have a mummy and daddy,” Roland insists. “They’re all alone, and they’re hungry!” Regina is entirely unsurprised that he turns those big, dark eyes on her and pleads, “Can we take them home, Regina?”

She’s loath to break his tender heart, but still, “Absolutely not.”

She says it kindly, but she says it all the same.

“Mom, please.” It’s Henry this time. It’s not-so-little boy’s pleading eyes, and he’s scooping up the other kitten as she winces, cupping his scrawny body carefully, and saying, “Look how skinny they are! They’re starving, they’re eating garbage.”

“They’re covered in fleas,” Regina reasons gently. “And we don’t have anything for them – no food, no litter box, no—”

“We can get them!” Roland argues, cradling his yowling little dirtball against his shirt, and now he’s got fleas, too, hasn’t he?

“Yeah, Mom, it’s not that late,” Henry encourages. “We could get all that stuff. And we could give them a bath to get rid of any bugs. I don’t think they even have any!”

Regina narrows her eyes, bending close to get a good look at the little critters. They’re grubby, their white patches grayed with dirt; she can’t tell if the little black flecks she sees are more dirt or the dreaded fleas.

She glances toward Robin, and points out, “You’ve been suspiciously quiet over there.”

He just shrugs, stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans, and says, “I’m hearing out their arguments.”

“We can’t leave them,” Roland insists, petting the top of one little head. “What if they die out here? They wouldn’t die at our house, please, Regina? We need to save them. They’re only babies!”

He’s starting to get worked up, holding that squirming ball of fluff closer as his eyes start to well up with tears.

She’s going to regret it, she’s certain of it, but she knows that Roland is right. The kittens seem to be abandoned, they’re all skin and bones and dingy fur, and they’ll certainly suffer out here on their own. Suffer, and maybe die.

So she sighs, deeply, and relents, “Okay, we can bring them home,” earning a twin chorus of Yes! from the boys, and a dimpled grin from her husband.

And just like that, their family is two kittens larger.

They just barely make it to the pet store before closing, and make quick work of stocking up on “the essentials.” Which apparently include not only a bed (she insists on just one, it’s large enough for both kittens), a flea dip, a litter box, some kitten food, but also a pair of itty bitty collars with jingling bells, two packets of felt mice, a handful of catnip treats, a dangling feather…

They leave laden, the boys cradling the most precious cargo, Robin and Regina hefting all the rest, and as they make their way home, she asks, “So what will we name them?”

“I suppose we need to find out if they’re boy kittens or girl kittens first,” Robin reasons, but the boys heartily disagree.

“We can give them names that work for both!” Henry insists, and it’s decided that he and Roland get to name a kitten each.

Henry decides to give his kitten the apt moniker of Dumpling, in honor of when and where they were found.

“I’m gonna name mine after our dinner, too!” Roland insists, and Regina wonders if they’re going to end up with Shrimpy, or Orange. But in the end, kitten number two is christened Noodles.

“Not Noodle?” Regina asks, but Roland is adamant.

“Nope. Noodles.”

And so they are, Dumpling and Noodles.

Their first bath reveals that, yes, they most definitely have fleas, and a strong aversion to water. But they manage to get them cleaned up, and flea-dipped, and get their little bellies full of soggy kibble.

And Regina has to admit that they’re actually pretty cute. Those white patches are properly white, and their scrubbed fur is soft and surprisingly fluffy when it dries. They sleep curled up in that little bed together, purring happily, and Roland watches them adoringly, telling Regina again and again how happy they look, how they saved them, isn’t she glad they saved them.

And yes, she has to admit, she is.

She’s not thrilled at the prospect of their furniture (or their toddler) getting scratched all to hell, but she thinks that she’d have had a hard time not thinking about those little, purring bundles wandering the streets eating trash.

Lydia, as it turns out, loves the kittens. Loves them. Adores them – in an Elmira from Tiny Toons sort of way. Robin and Regina are constantly reminding her Gentle, gentle… We pet, we don’t squeeze…

They’re also constantly reminding the kittens (they’re a boy and a girl, it turns out) to scratch on their new post and not the kitchen chairs. To gnaw on, well, anything but Henry’s fingers or Regina’s hair. To not frolic all over Regina’s legs as she naps on the couch after dinner. They’re lively – damn near manic – when they descend upon their catnip toys.

But Regina has to admit, it’s nice to have company in the wee hours of the morning when she drags herself out of bed to shower and dress. She finds their insistent little mews as she fills their food bowls a cheerful welcome to the world of the waking, enjoys the soft brush of their furry bodies around her ankles as she readies herself for the day post-shower.

And okay, yes, they do make lovely, warm space heaters when they curl themselves into the bend of her knee at night, or crawl up and settle down on her chest, their steady rumbling echoing against her heart.

She catches Robin smiling at her one night, while she scratches Noodles behind his ears, Dumpling’s fluffy form stretched over her thigh.

“What?” she asks him, and Robin’s grin just widens.

“Not a pet person,” he mutters, a hint of mocking in his voice, and she realizes she’s somehow become a veritable cat lady, despite her hesitance to take in these silly little ruffians.

Regina just rolls her eyes, gives Noodles’ ears a little tug, and tells Robin through her grin, “Shut up.”

(FFnet/Ao3)

[stimtoybox]

Stimming, Access and Consent

This is something I’ve mentioned a lot at various times, but it’s popped up this week through conversations with my doctor, researching migraine triggers, yesterday’s post on the Version 2 Fidget Cube knock-off and this post on clashing access needs in which @stimful-gifts mentioned this blog.

Since I’ve been wanting to write a proper post on this for a very long time now, I’m taking this as a sign from the universe to let the inbox wait a while longer.

My thesis is this: stim toys change our immediate environment. To direct our movement, provide distraction or enable focus, they offer up something we can touch, feel, smell, move, taste, chew, manipulate, watch or hear, often in varying combinations. Some toys only impact our immediate environment; some toys impact a much larger space, including the space occupied by other people.

Stim toys wouldn’t work if they didn’t change our environment in some way.

Abled, neurotypical culture works on the idea that certain types of environmental change are acceptable, based on ableist assumptions of what humans can tolerate. Playing pop music, for example, is generally assumed acceptable in supermarkets and shopping centres. Perfume is also considered acceptable when one is out in public.

We have this idea that if something fits that unquestioned category of acceptable environmental change, we don’t need to ask permission to make that change in a shared space. The problem comes when people have needs that don’t match that category of “acceptable” - both the environmental access needs of ND and disabled people but also the needs of people who just don’t want to hear pop music while buying a loaf of bread. Even for able-bodied NTs, this system of assumption over seeking consent is unfair and needs to be dismantled.

It is natural to not question the changes stim toys make on the environment around us. Even we, folks who most often have significant environmental access needs (including the need to stim), are quick to disregard needs we don’t have if it falls into that intuitive, unquestioned, ableist category of “acceptable environmental change”. We’re trained from birth to evaluate everything this way, so of course we don’t think about it.

I’m autistic with the SPD fun package deal. This week my doctor gave me the additional word “migraine” in an effort to explain why I react so badly to so many things: chemicals, petrol, perfume, varnishes, movement, flickering, bright lights, loud noises, sharp noises, the glow of the computer screen. I get headaches, dizziness, vertigo, partial seizures. Your hands tapping on your phone screen will distress me. Your perfume and flashing lights will put me to bed. Your clicking will make me scream and snap. Clicking toys, noisy toys, rattling toys, toys with flashing lights, LED spinners, toys scented with artificial fragrance/perfume, toys with chemical odours, toys that have a lot of flickering movements - these will make me distressed, uncomfortable, ill or unable to stand. If these things happen in a space where I am already compromised (on a train where I’m dealing with motion sickness, or in a noisy/crowded space) it’s even more disabling.

There are a great many stim toys and bodily stims that will make me unable to be a comfortable participant in any given shared environment. (There’s even more objects that aren’t stim toys or bodily stims that do the same, although I’d argue that many of these are pretty stimmy, just more culturally acceptable. Perfume, for example.) There are a great many of my own stim toys and bodily stims that will make someone else an uncomfortable participant in any given shared environment.

As stimmers, we need to be aware of the changes our toys make to any given space and have active communication with other folks in that space. We need to seek their permission to change it. There is a very big difference between a person not wanting to go outside with someone using a chewable because they’re chewing (ableism) and a person who can’t bear the slurping sounds made by the chewer (conflicting access needs), and we need to be conscious of that difference and be willing to discuss alternatives.

(Sometimes there are no alternatives. Sometimes the only option is for the people impacted to be in two or more different spaces. That’s frustrating and unfair, but it’s also the reality of disability and conflicting access needs.)

If your toy changes the environment, you should get the consent of all the other people who occupy that environment before using that toy in a shared space. (Remember that your own private space is great for all these toys, and you have every right to use them when there is nobody else impacted by them.) We must start a culture of being aware of the changes our toys make and having discussions about using them. We need to empower ourselves with a broad stim kit so that we have options if one toy bothers someone in a space we’re sharing.

I actively encourage everyone to have as many different sorts of toys as is possible (aside from it being good practice for physical injury concerns) and even different variations of the same types of toy, as that increases the likelihood of finding something people around you can tolerate and decreases your frustration at having to take up a toy that doesn’t fill your needs of that moment. A chewable that makes fewer or quieter slurping sounds, for example, to swap for the one that bothers someone else, even if it isn’t your favourite chew pendant.

Safety and access requirements we need to consider in our toys include:

Is it made from something that might provoke an allergic response, like rubber or latex?

Does it contain a fragrance? Is that fragrance artificial (perfume) or natural (essential oils)? Does it have a chemical odour or contain chemicals that can be inhaled or smelt? Does it have a flavour that causes a scent?

Does it make a noise? Is that noise quiet or loud? Is it constant, like white noise, or periodic? Does it change in volume or intensity? Is it sharp and abrupt, like a click? Does it rattle?

Does it have any movement? Is that movement flashing, flickering or quick? Can that movement be distracting? Does the toy make you move? Are your movements repetitive or subtle, flickering or flashing, slow or quick?

Does it light up? Does the light flash or change in intensity? Does it change colour? Does it change gradually or abruptly?

Does it have a texture to which someone else might be exposed?

If the answer to any of those things is yes, we need to make sure that the people around us consent to that change in the environment they’re sharing with us.

For me, toys with flashing and LED lights (fidget spinners), artificial fragrances (anything not essential oils) and loud, sharp clicks are especially unsafe. Others will find latex to be dangerous. There’ll be other things I’ve left off the above list through my own lack of experience!

I’m not saying we can’t or shouldn’t use those toys. I’m just saying that if there’s any chance they’ll impact others in a shared space, we should ask. Ask your teacher or boss if anyone has any allergies, if it isn’t safe to ask your peers. Ask the people sitting next to you if they mind the click of your Tangle. It doesn’t matter if these people are ND/disabled or NT/able-bodied. We’re acknowledging that our toys can and do change the space in which they’re used and finding out if that change is going to be a concern for anyone.

(And if we can’t ask for consent, which is true of many very public places, we seek out the most low-impact toys we have in our kits: quiet, no scent, low movement, no lights or flashing, no rubber or latex. Toys like LED-light spinners are dangerous and shouldn’t be used in a public space, ever, unless everyone in that space has consented to it - and consented freely without pressure.)

By actively asking people ourselves, by not making people wait to request that we stop an annoying or difficult-to-experience stim, we’re building a culture where we’re all able to discuss more freely one’s sensory needs, where asking someone else will result in less frustration and aggression. By actively building a varied stim kit, we’re making it so a stimmer doesn’t feel they have to stop stimming - just change to a different toy, as it is incredibly important that we have the right to stim! By having conversations and giving ourselves choices, we’re creating a world where seeking consent for creating any kind of environmental change becomes a norm, and that can only help and empower ND and disabled people, regardless of whether we stim.

I need a world where people think to ask me before jingling pocket coins, stop playing with LED spinners in public or spraying perfume in a space I occupy. The road to building that, I think, starts by our showing people that the right thing to do is seek consent for those changes. It starts by my treating others how I wish to be treated. It starts by doing away with the idea that we can ever assume something won’t bother someone else and start instead assuming that something might.

TL;DR: many stim toys introduce change into the environment that impacts the people around us. As people who have sensory difficulties ourselves, and need that understanding from others, we need to be mindful of how others experience our stimming. We need to start a practice of seeking their consent to that change in spaces we’re sharing with others, regardless of whether they are ND/disabled or NT/able-bodied.

- Mod K.A.

[oliviapdunn]

An Ultimate Guide To A Safe Use of  Headphones

Headphones and earbuds have become a part of an accessory these days. People have got so accustomed to blocking the surrounding noise that they have headphones or earbuds on while doing even the smallest of the task. But as the headphones keep us entertained and engaged, they also have some serious health risks associated. So, let's understand how good or not-that-great headphones are for your health and how you can try to inculcate a better mode of entertainment.  

Headphones – Bad for continuous usage?  

Headphones or earbuds provide us our space to enjoy the music and keep ourselves entertained. If you are a hard-core listener, you will know what am talking about! And are there also situations where you increase the volume only to enjoy your favorite song. Probably, listening to music is not a problem however, listening to music at a higher volume is dangerous.  

According to the World Health Organization, nearly 50 percent of teenagers and adults are exposed to music in the world. And not immediately every time, the noise-induced hearing loss occurs only after a specific time or age. Specifically, when one bursts of unsafe sound enter your ears, you might get affected by hearing loss which is mostly irreversible.  

As per the data, 40 million adults under the age of 70 show signs of noise-induced hearing loss. Although it is believed that future generations would be more tolerant of louder noises and noise-induced hearing loss. However, it cannot be unforeseen that one out of five teens today is affected by hearing loss thus, increasing the percentage of affected people to 30 percent.  

But there exist certain preventable measures which can help you in keeping your ears safe even while listening to music in your own bubble.  

How loud and for how long?  

If you are a listener of music for an endless amount of time, then this paragraph is for you! It might have become a habit for you to not take the headphone away from your body anytime, but you might have to consider changing them, too.  

Research shows that listening to music above 85 decibels for more than 8 hours can lead to hearing loss. And since today’s headphones can blast up to 120 dB, 85 dB is magical! And anything beyond 120 dB leads to immediate hearing loss.  

Let me also give you some decibel knowledge of the different sounds we hear to analyze where loud music stands.  

Whisper – 30 dB  

Normal conversation – 60 dB  

Heavy traffic – 85 dB  

Lawnmower – 90 dB  

Power drill – 130 dB  

Follow the rules, whenever possible  

Following a rule when listening to music is difficult however, the more you try to be in control the better it is for your ears. If you wish to listen to music at a louder volume, try to spend less time listening to using your headphones. Follow the 60/60 rule which states that listen at 60 percent of the maximum volume for only 60 minutes a day.  

Always take breaks when you are listening to music using headphones. Keep a continuous check on the volume as not all songs will have a designated decibel of playing. Set a maximum limit of volume. Do not try to increase the volume beyond the limit. And lastly, be aware of your surroundings always. The more the crowded area, the more you tend to increase the volume. Therefore, try to keep the volume of the music with respect to the surroundings, so that you don’t exceed your maximum limit.  

You must also consider lowering the volume if you can't hear anything around except the music. This might lead to a communication gap if you are lost in the music. Also, consider the presence of fellow people nearby. If the volume is loud enough that they can also listen to the music, then consider lowering down to avoid any hassle.  

After continuous listening, your ears might react differently. You might feel a ringing sensation, buzz, dull or muffle. Its time you realize that your ears need some break now. If you still wish to listen to music, lower the volume below the maximum limit for some time to get your ears some air to breathe!  

Headphones or earbuds – Which one is better?  

The quality and type of headphones or earbuds that you use, matter. In addition to keeping a track of the volume and duration of listening to music, the quality of the product also matters. It makes a difference.  

A cheap pair of headphones or earbuds will come friendly to your pockets but, it would affect your ears with the bad sound quality. This can result in increasing the volumes of a few decibels to be able to enjoy the music. It is always better to go for headphones or earbuds which are good in quality to protect your ears from unwanted circumstances.  

Let us now understand which type of headphones is best suited for you and what are their pros and cons,  

Over-the-ear headphones  

These headphones are full in size and encase the ear and not the passage. It helps to block the outside noise and comes in higher quality. It is ideal to listen to immersive music.  

Pros: 

Diffuses sound around your ear instead of sending it straight into the ear canal

Better sound quality  

Block background noise  

Cons:   

Heavy and bulky  

Costly  

Bone conduction headphones  

These are the newest type of noise-canceling headphones which are greatly in demand. They come around your head and the buds are placed over the ear. The headphone does not directly transmit the sound, instead of when placed on the bone right above our ears, the sound is transmitted.  

It uses bone conduction technology. And in this way, you can listen to music and be aware of your surrounding noise. Your ears are left open as it has an open ear design. This way you do not affect your ears and enjoy the music at the same time.  

Pros: 

Good sound quality 

No transmission of music through the ear canal  

Portable and easy compared to the over-the-ear headphones  

Apt for sports and exercise

Cons:  

Costly  

Not portable like the in-ear headphones or earbuds  

Does not block the surrounding noise  

  In-ear headphones  

Earbuds have ruled the market for decades now and are still evolving as the newer technology hits the shelves. The headphones are small and provide better sound quality. They transmit the music directly into the ear canal and gives an immersive feel, however, it is the most dangerous kind to your ears.  

Apart from the wired earbuds, there also exist wireless earbuds that can easily fit into the ear opening. Also exist wireless Bluetooth earbuds that can be connected to any smartphone to listen to music.  

Pros:  

Small and lightweight  

 Affordable  

Multiple types available and easy to buy

Cons:  

Produces 9 dB higher sound than over-the-ear headphones

Not very great in terms of noise cancellation

Sanitation is a concern

Are headphones good for people using hearing aids  

Even if you use a hearing aid or have a hearing loss, your heart and soul wish to use a headphone and enjoy the experience. However, if you are using a hearing aid, it might be difficult for you to enjoy the moment completely. Because the over-the-ear headphones and the in-ear headphones would not be a great fit. However, in cases like these, bone conduction headphones are a savior.  

The open ear bone conduction headphones have been designed keeping in mind every possible type of human being. Even if you cannot hear, you can use the bone conduction headphone. If you are using a hearing aid, you can still use a bone conduction headphone. And for the ones with hearing loss, you too can enjoy the bone conduction technology. And the simple reason is that it does not transmit the sound through the ear canal. Rather it uses the bone above your ears to transmit the music.  

Recently, a bone conduction headphone has been launched by a brand called GoVision and its product is called Vibez Bone Conduction Headphones. The headphone is taking over the news and creating some good reviews. The bone conduction headphone by GoVision comes in multiple colors and is sweat and water-resistant, too. Probably, you should try it out!  

Do I have to clean the headphones?  

Oh yes, very much. Only if you are using over-the-ear and in-ear headphones. Bone conduction headphones do not require any cleaning as it is placed over the ears and not in the ears. But if you are still using a normal headphone, then you must be aware that only noise is not a concern for your hearing loss. Dirty headphones and earbuds will increase the possibility of an ear infection.  

Therefore, follow the below cleaning steps to keep your ears safe,  

Use a soft, used toothbrush and gently take the dirt and wax out.  

Dampen cotton with rubbing alcohol or hand sanitizer and wipe down the headphone. 

If your earbuds have the silicon plugs, then remove the plugs and soak it in soapy water for 5 minutes.

Avoid sharing your headphones or earbud with others.  

Headphones are a piece of us. We cannot imagine our commute or workout sessions without them. We all know how to take our space and immerse into the tune of music. But a little care while using headphones can save our ears from permanent damage.  

And keeping this in mind, let's all pledge to use our headphones to the core but carefully!