#or is it that all of magic would have been fucked up if ludinus' plan fully worked and the idiot had no idea that that would be part of it

[protectorsoftheearth]

So the magic being fucked up is living in my brain and I need to try and figure it out pls help

Here's what's confirmed

Sending doesn't work

Scrying, Augury, contacting other planes, clairvoyance, communing with divine entities all don't work

Teleportation circles have all been dispelled

Curses are stronger

Permanent light enchantments have been dispelled

Specifically 'old magic' enchantments have been dispelled, those thought permanent

Magically bound prisoners escaping

Petrification releasing

Magical items have not been affected by this mass dispel

Possible consequences from that

Trent, the other Cerberus mages and Caleb are no longer bound

The prison under Xhorhas has been fucked up, as has the Vault under the Platinum Sanctum in Vasselheim which includes the horn of Orcus and other terrifying magical artifacts

Hallow and other such protective longstanding enchantments are fucked, ie most temples and the blooming grove?

Ryn is no longer petrified

The binds on ukatoa and other such entities are released or in the process of being weakened? (also the divine gate is being weakened?)

Halas is free from his gem?

The mages in Aeor that were kept in stasis are now free

The binds on Vecna are released?

Is that it? Have I missed anything

[blazingstar24]

It’s highly likely that Ludinus is Ruidusborn. Because if he truly is able to communicate with Predathos, it would make sense that is due to his connection to it through being Ruidusborn. Otherwise, why would Predathos choose him out of everyone to speak to, why choose him over say Otohan, a known powerful Ruidusborn.

If we go of the notion of him being Ruidusborn, it becomes really fucked up and interesting. Because he would be the longest living one so far that we know of which would explain his higher connection to Predathos. (This is dependent on which ending for COTN is canon as Alyxian could be the real longest living one)

All other known Ruidusborn have been human. Imogen and her mother. Otohan. Even Alyxian was human in the beginning.

Imagine being an elf and Ruidusborn? You have 750 years to hone those powers. To live with that connection. His connection to Predathos would be so much more stronger than the rest because he’s had to spend centuries with it being there. He’s also had centuries on Otohan and Imogen to figure out what the fuck is up with the God Eater.

Also Ludinus has been repeatedly described as emotionless or stoic. And considering how much emotion plays into releasing the powers from Predathos? It would make sense that over the long years, he would have perfected complete emotional control to be able to unleash the storm at will. Versus Imogen who is new to all of this and accidentally destroys city blocks when in emotional distress. (Although lol at the founding of the CA, we know the wizard duel destroyed 2 city blocks! One more than Imogen so maybe Ludinus popped off on the now interestingly named “Eve of Crimson Midnight”.)

The implications that Predathos could have been speaking to Ludinus for years, maybe decades, maybe centuries is insane. Because then it becomes how long has he been planning this? And is the goal that he is selling to his followers even true? Because Ludinus is a smart man. Arrogant and hubristic, yes. But he’s not stupid. He’s outlasted so many other shitty wizards in the CA. He knows the Divine Gate would still be up if Predathos is unleashed. Unless Predathos is going to eat that too, there’s way too many things protecting the gods currently if he unleashed it during the solstice. It would be more likely that Predathos would then wreck havoc on Exandria. Because even if you believe he only eats highly divine things, with the amount of magic that the mortal race has been able to do and create? Wouldn’t that be on par with the gods if you look at that as a whole? Or even just the land itself has been infused with divine magic! What’s stopping it from just eating the world?

Honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out Ludinus was now also a warlock with Predathos as his patron. (Is a wizard/warlock dual class even good?) But also it is interesting to wonder how speaking to an ancient eldritch being for centuries (presumably) would affect a person’s mind. Ruidusborn Ludinus just makes a lot of sense but also opens up a lot of very interesting possibilities.

(Or the even funnier alternative is Ludinus isn’t Ruidusborn and is just Predathos’s little blorbo. Otohan was like “I am the strongest Ruidusborn, choose me as your champion!” And Predathos went “hey what about that hot elf over there? He seems fun.”)

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker, #135

Each week I think “man it would have been cool if I had thought of this idea, in which I make jokes about how stressed out the wizard NPCs are, during, you know, the Vergesson heist or something when we were interacting with more than one wizard NPC instead of during a dungeon crawl with only one wizard NPC, emphasis on crawl” but you know what, I persevere, because where else am I going to put song parodies about the death of Vess Derogna that are literally only funny to me? Twitter?

Anyway while I am personally team Jester, in that the faster Lucien is simultaneously disintegrated, run through in the chest with both a vestige and a holy avenger, shot through the heart (and Veth’s to blame), beheaded with a hand axe, banished, punched in the face, and sent into a black hole the better, the party has other plans. Thanks to the long rest though it has been about 12 hours, plus the 4-ish from last week, so I guess we’ll check in with a few of our other wizard friends as well.

As a reminder Caleb Widogast is a PC and thus excluded from this list.

Currently sidelined

Presumably having a good day: Pumat Sol (blissfully unaware of all of this); Allura Vyesoren (saint-like patience and a wealth of experience with disaster adventuring parties; at least this one has a cleric at more than 0.33 FTE, a wizard, and some lesbians), Ludinus Da’leth (this miserable pile of power plays wakes up every morning and is like Isn’t it Grand to be head of the evil wizard council and no one realizes I probably destroyed the first non-drow elven civilization on the continent to arise after the calamity! Fetch me more pastries!).

No idea but here’s hoping he found the cat portion of ScryTube: Oremid Hass

Lady DeRogna, taken off the scene, sorry that your murder happened while off-screen.

Trent Ikithon: I’ve established that I think the only real things that can damage Trent emotionally are Caleb paying too much attention to him so as to destroy his standing within the empire, or else Caleb ignoring him. Honestly if Trent would not continue to torture students and spread propaganda if left unchecked I think he could be slowly murdered solely through Caleb expressing apathy. So despite the amulets of nondetection I like to imagine that somehow, somewhere, Trent felt Caleb reaffirm to Essek that his top priority is still stopping the city from returning, not Trent, and it necrotized just a little bit more of his liver.

Conclusion: 7/10. I went to the OG evil mageocracy and no one knew who you were.

Essek Thelyss: Well on the one hand he’s still flirting but on the other imagine spending a literal century being like “what if we’re wrong about how we approach the fundamental basis for our society” and he just got proved right. I have to imagine he’s got that kind of stress where suddenly everything becomes dead calm and also this explains why he unnecessarily cast a 3rd level spell, which he knows could in theory cause him to lose all his hair, to impress a boy. I didn’t even get into the conversations he had with Caleb, the bad dreams and eyeballs, Fjord teasing him, Yasha being like “ALRIGHT ALREADY”, the horrible Aeorian creatures, the fact that robots might be back(?) or his ongoing terror that the Assembly is after him!

Conclusion: 8/10 but he’s like, kind of having a good time. Essek is in all ways but physical in a Hawaiian shirt right now drinking a Mai Tai and going Nothing Matters; I presume he will have a full breakdown following the boss battle and honestly he deserves it.

Astrid Beck: Others have already established the parallels between Essek and Astrid but honestly I want to highlight it because really, on the one hand we have Essek, whose world is crashing around him because he was right all along and is in terrible immediate danger but surrounded by friends, and on the other we have Astrid, whose world is crashing around her because she was wrong all along and she’s probably not in immediate danger but Eadwulf is the only person she can trust and we don’t know all the details about that either.

Conclusion: 8/10 but in the bad way, not Essek’s kind of fun way.

Wulfpupy:

Conclusion: 3/10. You know that tiktok with the blonde woman with glasses who has a lot of highlighter on her nose who talks about how sometimes if you have guy friends they will say something deeply fucked up and you’ll be like “oh my god do we unpack this right now” and then you look over at them and the only thing in their mind are the lyrics to Kokomo? That’s Wulf. He will activate the second Caleb comes back in town or Astrid actually falls apart but until then he is on Island Time.

Yussa Errenis: I wonder if there’s a small part of Yussa that is part of the city’s awareness and, moreover, can see what Beau and Caleb at least are doing, and he’s like “I’m so simultaneously proud and impatient, also we live in a world that does not have IV fluids so like, hopefully my body still exists in some kind of functioning state when I am rescued” (note: did I google “how were coma patients kept alive in olden times” for this? Perhaps.) Anyway if he is aware he’s also just like, watching all this like “I WILL GET YOU SO MUCH PAPER OH MY GOD CAN YOU JUST KISS THE OTHER WIZARD SAVE ME FROM THE EVIL HIVEMIND CITY.”

Conclusion: I mean still infinity/10, he is still trapped in the city of madness and also if he does have a small part of his mind that is sane and able to observe the material plane he also is aware that Trent and the Volstruckers broke into his tower.

Known Gem Wizard Hotsauce Lutefisk: I know, I know, weird that I brought him up. However consider: Yussa’s wizard tower now contains two wizards in suspended animation, their consciousnesses trapped in eldritch astral sea-related spaces. This is incredibly funny to me. We’re in a real Old Lady who swallowed a fly scenario except it’s centuries-old wizards getting sucked into traps because of their own hubris. The reason why mageocracies no longer exist isn’t the lack of magical knowledge or even because power corrupts absolutely, it’s because literally just put some lightly fried forbidden knowledge under a box with a stick propping it up, add your parody of Long-Term Nuclear Waste Warnings above it, and a wizard will be like “that sign won’t stop me because I CAN read and what’s more I’m better at reading than you are!” And then they get trapped in a box.

Conclusion: what is a breakdown tracker to a man whose mind has been stuck in a gem for, from his perspective, at minimum about 35 years?

[my-least-favorite-savior]

Should we first talk about why no other Volstrucker has ever left?

First of all, a big part of Trent’s process is making sure that they have nowhere else to go. First, he isolates them from their peers at the Academy. (Caleb says that Trent was originally one of many teachers he had the Academy, and then Trent became his primary teacher. Bren had no friends aside from his fellow Volstrucker trainees.) He takes over their schedules so they’re spending all of their time with him and others who are under his thumb, and he tells them that it’s because they are special and better than their peers anyway. They’re fifteen at this time, so they believe him. Then, he makes them kill their family. It’s kind of brilliant, in a sadistic way. He subjects them to slowly escalating abuse for years, and then he hands them a match and tells them to burn their only bridge away from him.

Let’s assume that Astrid really does have an uncle, and wasn’t just playing along. Of course she hasn’t spoken to him in years. What could she possibly say to him after murdering his sister? Making them kill their immediate families is also a pretty good way of blowing up their relationships with their extended families.

It’s not like Trent stops controlling them when they reach adulthood, either. They live in houses on his estate and report to him daily for orders. Trent chooses them when they’re 14 years old, destroys everything else they have, and keeps them right under his thumb for the rest of their lives.

Then he calls them family He takes their original families from them, but he offers his own twisted mockery of a family in return. And they take it, because it hurts less than empty space where their parents used to be. Caleb called the Volstrucker locked up in Rosohna his sister without ever having met her. Trent invited Caleb over for a family dinner. What happened to their parents was an unfortunate necessity, but they don’t have to feel alone; the Volstruckers are their family now; Trent is their family now.

The second reason they don’t leave him or tell anyone is that Trent specifically chooses students who are unlikely to do that. Trent chooses his students partly for the fun of it, to see what he can sculpt out of their unique natural talents, but he’d be a fool not to consider their temperaments as well. It’s easy to imagine Bren, Eadwulf, and Astrid as teachers pets who were eager for Trent’s approval as teenagers. Even now that they’re adults, Trent is very intentional with when and how he praises them, and praise is his go-to way of love-bombing Caleb at the dinner.

Trent has access to all the students at the Soltryce Academy. This is already the pick of the litter in terms of the Empire’s magic-wielding teenagers. Anyone he chooses is going to be gifted. He has the luxury of looking at other factors, like how eager they are to please him, how susceptible they are to pro-Empire propaganda, and whether or not their families will be missed. (Is it really a coincidence that Bren, Astrid, and Eadwulf were all from the same rural town that is firmly under the capital’s thumb? Probably not.)

So, after he picks out kids are that going to respond well to his brainwashing, he brainwashes them. That’s the third reason none of them have ever left before.

He tells them they’re family. Not by blood, but by shared goals and shared suffering. I can’t prove that Trent ever actually said that, but it fits perfectly with the way the Blumendrei talk about each other and with Trent’s view of the world. The pain they endure together bonds them (and they’ve got matching tattoos to prove it).

Their pain protects the innocent of the Empire. They do their bloody work so others don’t have to. They endure this pain so others don’t have to. Someone has to hurt, because that’s how the world is, and if it’s not the Volstruckers, it will be the innocent children of the Empire.

Sometimes, sacrifices have to be made. Your innocence. Their lives. Someday, maybe your life. These sacrifices are what keep little Empire children safe and warm in their beds at night. It’s for the good of the Empire. It’s what any good Empire citizen would do. You should feel honored to have been given this opportunity.

Trent inflicts pain in on them because pain makes them stronger. Because they are smarter and stronger than their peers and they can save the Empire, if they just let him teach them. Trent hurts them because he sees the potential in them and wants to bring it out. Trent hurts them for the greater good. Trent hurts them out of love.

That’s what he tells them. That’s what he told them at dinner.

They’re spoon-fed a million excuses for their own abuse, and they have little choice but to swallow those excuses, because (reason #4) Trent made them complicit in their own abuse, and each other’s abuse, and the murders of their families. The alternative to accepting Trent’s apologism put Bren in an insane asylum. “All of that pain and suffering and death was absolutely unnecessary and you not only subjected yourself to it for no reason, you helped for no reason,” is not an easy thing to process.

Liam has done a really good job of showing how Caleb struggles with that and how it led to so much self-hatred. And Caleb had a loving support network. Most Volstruckers have one or two equally broken people from their class that they can mostly trust, if they are lucky. Most Volstruckers are only given one framework to process these feelings through, and it’s the abusive framework laid out in #3.

We can’t go without mentioning that shared guilt is one of the oldest tricks in the book to get a victim to keep quiet. It’s the classic ‘You’ll be in trouble too.’ “Do you really want to go the king and confess to the murder of innocent Empire citizens? Your own family, no less?” It wasn’t like Trent put the poison in the food or threw the fireball.

Reason #5: Lots of people already know and simply do not care. While Astrid’s comments in e131 do imply that the king doesn’t know what Trent has been doing to the children of his kingdom, the Cerberus Assembly knows and has known for a while. Every time Caleb has brought up his abuse with a member of the Cerberus Assembly, he’s gotten empty sympathy and dismissal. He hasn’t even had to explain the abuse to them. Multiple people have heard that he was a student of Trent Ikithon’s and immediately responded with sympathy... but also in ways that made it clear that they didn’t plan to do anything about it. The Cerberus Assembly knows. Ludinus would be very bad at his job if he did not know, considering that Trent recruits from the Academy. The Volstruckers are used to Trent doing what he does out in the open, in front of other high-level officials.

It’s not like Trent is hiding his abuse of them, either. Trent takes kids home for the summer and they show up for Intermediate Transmutation the next fall with fucking experimental crystals in their arms. Ludinus knew. Even Vess knew. The Volstruckers know that Ludinus and Vess know. At best, they likely believe that there is no point in talking. At worst, it reinforces everything Trent is telling them and makes them believe that they are the problem if they can’t tough it out.

Last but not least: mortal terror is the sixth reason why no one has ever gotten away from Trent before. Trent broke Bren’s brain and then made him disappear for a decade. Trent made all of their families disappear. Do you think Astrid got investigated for murder after some poor neighbor found her family’s bodies? No. Trent made that disappear. How easily could Trent make one Volstrucker disappear? Volstruckers die all the time, after all. There wouldn’t be many questions asked about a Volstrucker’s death. There might not be any questions asked at all. Who would notice a Volstrucker was missing, except for other Volstruckers (who are loyal to Trent. And terrified of Trent. And may have helped with the murder.)

So that’s why Caleb is the first to ever leave. (1) Most Volstruckers have nowhere else to go. (2) Trent gets to hand-pick students to abuse, so obviously he’s going to pick ones that are likely to respond well (by his standards) to his abuse. (3) Volstruckers are brainwashed into accepting Trent’s abuse apologism. (4) Volstruckers are made to feel morally culpable for their own abuse and are not given space to process these feels outside of the brainwashing framework Trent provides them with in #3. (5) People with power don’t care; people who care lack power; people with both are out of reach. This is a pattern embedded in their psyches well before they kill their parents. (6) Trent could literally straight up kill them have a couple of teenagers dig a shallow grave in the woods. No one would ever ask questions.

[iatethepomegranate]

A fic in which Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, becomes a professor, and learns how to be a person.

Chapter Summary: The sands of time stop for no one, and the Nein eventually go back to their separate lives. Caleb grapples with the responsibilities of his new position, invents the support group, and Astrid gives him some rather unsettling news.

Notes: Caleb and Essek's scene together is a little spicy, but not explicit. Chapter title is from In the Embers by Sleeping At Last.

*** Chapter 5: Like fireworks we pull apart the dark

Caleb was smiling when he got back home. Veth aimed her crossbow at him.

“Quick! Tell me something only Caleb would say!”

Caleb sighed and held up his hands in surrender; he should have expected this. “You almost inscribed a rune upside-down today. I lent you my spellbook.”

“I don’t know, man,” said Beauregard, lounging across Yasha on the couch and completely fucking with them. “An imposter could’ve interrogated Caleb and forced him to recount his day. Caleb is pretty squishy.” Caleb almost reminded her he had been taught to withstand torture, which he’d first told explictly her while compiling his testimony for Trent’s trial, but he didn’t want to ruin her fun.

“Oh, that’s very smart,” Yasha said.

“Thanks, babe.”

“Say something else,” Veth demanded. “Something not from today. How did we meet?”

“In prison. You stole a bottle of cherry wine. I had Frumpkin retrieve a piece of wire so you could pick the lock and then I set the jail on fire and screamed for help. The guards ran away and we walked out. We have been best friends ever since. You were also a goblin at the time.”

“But wouldn’t an imposter have asked about Caleb’s known associates?” Fjord supplied.

“Fjord, I can and will burn your hair off. And, unlike Aeor, it will not grow back overnight.”

“Ha!” Veth put her crossbow away. “Welcome back. Sit down. Cad’s making tea again.” She dragged him over to the blanket nest that no one had bothered to put away, and shoved him in it.

Essek poked his head out of the kitchen. “How was your meeting?”

Caleb didn’t want to get into it. “I took the job.”

“Woo!” Jester yelled from the kitchen. She poked her head out, just next to Essek. “Did Astrid like the cookies?”

“Ja. She says thank you.” Caleb felt fine, except from the fact he was fucking exhausted. He tipped his head back, landing on Beau’s shin, and closed his eyes. “Uh, Beauregard? She says to look into Headmaster Zivan Margolin, who is also the Archmage of Conscription. He’s a link to Trent. A weak one. Apparently he has been running his mouth about how he saw my potential from the beginning. Ludinus is uncomfortable with the implication and may throw him to the wolves to save his own neck.”

“I’ll pass it onto Yudala tomorrow. Take a nap while we wait for dinner.”

“The head of your school is also in charge of conscription?” said Fjord. “Wait. You’ve said this before.”

“A long time ago, ja.”

“Look, I’m only a few months old,” said Kingsley, who had been sprawled behind the couch the whole time, apparently. “And even I know that’s kinda fucked up.”

“No shit.” Caleb was half-sleep already, eyes closed. A small body curled up against him. Veth.

“Caleb, that’s really awful,” said Jester. “I’m so sorry.”

“Jester, I appreciate that, and I love you very much, but I am exhausted and cannot talk about this anymore.”

Caduceus saved him by bringing a tea tray into the room. “Let’s all unwind for a bit. Dinner will be ready soon.”

Caleb drank half his tea and fell asleep on Beauregard, who had to kick him awake for dinner. Well had to was a strong way to put it. Regardless, he shoved some food in his face and then went to bed with Essek.

****

Astrid sent him tidbits of information as more details of his professorship were finalised. He would assist Professor Weber with the beginner and intermediate Transmutation classes. He would also assist Professor Winterheart with the beginner Evocation class, due to his experience. He would also be on call to assist with other classes as necessary.

What really shook Caleb, however, were Bettina’s plans for Advanced Transmutation. She told him herself over coffee in the ex-smut shop.

“Astrid has assured me of your capabilities,” she said, stirring sugar into her mug. “And she’s of the mind that the Advanced students may need your guidance the most. You may end up with a few former Volstrucker students, if we can get them back in class.”

“That is a big if.”

“Ja. Would you talk to Astrid about it? I don’t want to overstep.”

“It has been on my mind. I will talk to her.” If Caleb hadn’t been dead on his feet last time they had spoken, he probably would have brought it up. It would take time to track all of them down, and Caleb had not been in the right headspace to handle that kind of work previously. But things were more stable now, even if he cried at the drop of a hat these days.

“Danke. Now, Advanced Transmutation. The advanced students start on the third week of term, so you will have had some time to find your feet. I want you to take the lead with them.”

“Bitte?” Caleb wasn’t sure he understood what she was telling him.

“I want you to teach the advanced students,” Bettina clarified. “I will be on hand if you need, but I think you can handle it once you have a few classes under your belt.”

“Bettina, I have no experience.” Caleb was about three wrong words from hyperventilating. This was ridiculous. And irresponsible.

“I know that’s not true, Mr Widogast. Sorry, Professor Widogast.” The slip was deliberate. Bettina used his first name most of the time. She was making a point of his new title. “Astrid has spoken to your expositor friend, who said you have been teaching magic to one of your friends for over a year, and that you helped her run a summer camp for adventurers in Nicodranas. Expositor Lionett also insists you are very good with children.”

“My friend’s young son, specifically. He is not a difficult child.” Well, Luc was a handful for his parents, but Caleb didn’t have to worry about controlling him like they did. “And… advanced students are teenagers, not toddlers.”

“I understand this is a lot to ask,” Bettina said evenly. “I am asking because some of these children have been through a lot. My inaction, whatever the truth of it, will not instill confidence. You put Trent in prison. You were an adventurer. You can relate to them. Not only can you be a safe person for them, but you are interesting. Teenagers respond best to people who are genuine, and genuinely interesting. Even the children who have not been pulled into Trent’s web have just been through a war. Some of them may have lost family.”

“Bettina, I appreciate you are trying to explain your reasons, but it is not helping.”

“I will be there in class for as long as you need my help,” Bettina promised. “I will only leave when you are ready. I promise. You can ask for help at any time. I will help you with your lesson plans and give you all the advice I can. You will be fine. I would not suggest this if I thought you couldn’t handle it.”

****

Caleb went back home after his meeting with Bettina. He was still worried, but he was having a decent day overall, so it wasn’t overwhelming him at the moment. He stepped inside Beau and Yasha’s side of the house, the scent of freshly baked bread filling his nostrils. It was almost lunchtime.

Most of the Nein had gone home by now, except Essek and Caduceus. They were in the kitchen with Yasha, inspecting a fresh loaf of bread on the counter. The top of it was sprinkled with rolled oats.

“I think it worked,” Caduceus said. “Ah, Caleb. Rye bread? Does it look right to you?”

It smelled like the Vollkornbrot Caleb remembered from his childhood. “Ja. This looks close to what my mother used to make.”

Yasha and Caduceus high-fived over Essek’s head. Essek’s nose wrinkled a little bit in a moment of endearing, petty irritation. Yasha cut the bread into slices and constructed a sandwich to take to Beau, who was at the Archive. She buttered a slice and shoved it into her mouth before she rushed out the door.

Caleb sat with Essek and Caduceus. The latter finished serving up the bread with a generous spread of butter.

“Did you start this last night?” Caleb asked. It was chewy as intended and tasted like home, maybe a tiny bit saltier, but that was fine.

“Yeah,” replied Caduceus. “You were pretty out of it. We looped Essek in once you were out of the house this morning. This one seems doable for Yasha to make without us. You might have to help her.”

“I can do that.” He used to help his mother with the bread whenever he was home. The memories were not too painful today, just an ache.

“How was your meeting?” Essek asked. He had been hesitant to leave Rexxentrum until Caleb was a bit more settled, but the hourglass was almost drained of sand.

“Good, I think.” Caleb chewed, mulling the whole thing over. “Professor Weber is giving me her advanced transmutation students.”

“You look worried,” said Caduceus.

“I am. It’s a lot of responsibility. She thinks the older students need me the most. As a safe person. I was their age when I… when everything went to shit. She thinks we may have a few survivors of the program in the class, and other students will have lost family in the war.”

Essek’s shoulders slumped. He ate quietly.

“And the Professor doesn't think she can be that person?”

“She insists she didn’t know what Trent was doing, but she expects the survivors will only see the face of someone who didn’t help them.”

“That is very self-aware of her. Do you feel that way?”

“No. But I’m not seventeen years old.”

“True. Well, I think you have the tools to help the kids, if you feel up to it.”

“I… maybe. Bettina said she’ll help me in class until I don’t need her anymore.”

Caduceus nodded slowly, with a smile. “You’ll be great.”

****

Essek and Caduceus had dinner at the house, and intended to spend a few more hours there before teleporting to the Blooming Grove, where Essek would trance before heading off in the morning, only short of one big spell instead of two. Caleb almost wanted to ask him to burn a second spell to trance here instead, but he knew Essek found the Grove calming. And one of the few places he didn’t have to worry about the Dynasty or the Empire. Caleb wouldn’t take that from him.

But they had a bit of time, which Caleb and Essek spent in their room together. Caleb let a few of his dancing lights float around the space, so he could see Essek for the last time in who knew how long.

“You were better today,” Essek said softly, slowly unbuttoning Caleb’s shirt.

Caleb watched him concentrate on the buttons, memorising his tiny frown that also graced his face when focusing on intricate spellwork. “Being here is getting easier. Thank you for the bread.”

Essek chuckled softly. “I did very little.” He pushed Caleb’s shirt off his shoulders. “But I’m glad it made you happy.”

“The best bread is the kind made by someone I love.” He shivered a little in the cold. Essek pressed his lips to Caleb’s shoulder, remaining there as the seconds ticked away. Caleb got to work on Essek’s shirt, finding the strings on the back through sheer muscle memory. He picked the bow apart and slowly unravelled the lacing. He pulled Essek’s shirt over his head and kissed his collarbone.

They had a few more hours. Caleb intended to treasure every second Essek could give him.

Essek pulled Caleb’s ponytail free and ran his fingers through the braids he had made that morning until they twisted apart. He cradled Caleb’s head as they kissed. Vulnerability between them had been hard won, and now it was as easy as breathing. Easier, sometimes.

They separated, and Essek slowly dragged his thumb across Caleb’s lower lip. “I will message you every day I can.”

“You better. Or I will hunt you down.”

Essek smirked, and it did things to Caleb. “And if I misbehave? Will you give me detention, Professor?”

“Essek, I love you, but never say that again.” Caleb shut him up with another kiss. “I do not want one of my last memories of you to be… that.”

“Not so adventurous after all,” Essek teased.

“We are not bringing our professions into the bedroom. That will not go well for either of us.”

“Hmm.” Essek’s eyes were distant for a moment. “You are… not wrong. Whenever I hear the word Shadowhand, I think of my mother.”

“Could be worse,” Caleb said dryly.

Essek wrinkled his nose. “Yes. Well. That has killed the mood.”

“I can fix that. May I?”

Essek sat back on his hands, raising an eyebrow. “Do your worst.”

“Challenge accepted,” Caleb murmured. He shoved Essek onto his back, straddling his hips. Essek was a lot smaller than Caleb, though the force of his personality and his floating cantrip had once hidden that reality. Now, however… Caleb could keep Essek in place with his weight alone. And Essek liked it when he used that objective fact to their benefit.

Essek’s lips parted, and it took him ten seconds of shallow breaths to find his voice. “Challenge completed,” he said breathlessly.

“It’s one of my many skills, Liebchen.” Caleb knew his voice became extra husky when aroused, and he knew how much it broke Essek’s brain.

Essek opened his mouth again, but nothing came out except a soft, breathy laugh. He reached up and pulled Caleb’s hair until Caleb leaned down and kissed him hard. The throaty mmph noise from Essek was satisfying as fuck. It was very easy to get Essek aroused at the right moment. The harder part was finding that moment. He was sensitive to Caleb’s emotions, and it was hard for him to get in the mood if he had even the slightest inkling Caleb was not having a good day. For now, at least, it meant what sex they did have only happened under the best circumstances. It was a far cry from the last relationship Caleb had been in, where most of the sex had been after a bad day, all three of them on the brink of falling apart.

Caleb pulled back a little bit to lightly brush his fingernails across the sensitive skin of Essek’s lower abdomen, just above his remaining clothing. Essek’s breath hitched.

“Caleb. Please.” Essek was flushing red beneath the purple of his skin, turning it a lovely plum tone. Caleb kissed his stomach, and slowly undressed him like a long-anticipated present he was afraid to break. Essek squirmed beneath him, no matter how hard he tried to hold still to make the job easier.

“What do you want, Kätzchen?” Caleb said quietly, stroking the inside of Essek’s bare thigh. Caleb never used terms of endearment like this in casual conversation. He liked to save it for special moments, specifically because he knew it broke Essek’s brain very badly to be called things like kitten or sweetheart in Caleb’s own tongue.

Essek let out a shaky breath; his violet-blue eyes were half-lidded and he was out of his fucking mind. “I want… anything. Everything. You. I can’t think.”

“I know,” Caleb said, sliding off the bed, just out of Essek’s reach. “I like it that way.” He slowly unfastened his pants, watching Essek twitch in a half-aborted attempt to move closer to him. “Stay right there.” He let them drop, kicked them aside, finished undressing. He lingered out of reach until Essek bit his lip, gazing up at him with a silent plea. Only then did Caleb climb back onto the bed, settling between Essek’s shaking legs. “Let me take care of you, ja?”

Caleb caught Essek’s lips in a messy, breathless kiss as their bodies fit together at long last.

Later, they lay together under the covers. Caleb had extinguished his lights. Essek could see him perfectly well. Caleb had almost left the lights on so he could drink in Essek’s features for a little while longer, but he was sluggish and borderline mindless from his most recent orgasm. He would rather spend what little concentration he had on running his fingers across Essek’s features so he had a few more memories to keep him warm until they could meet again.

“I will stay until you fall asleep,” Essek said softly. “Then, I will message you tomorrow after I leave the Grove.”

Caleb hummed quietly, not trusting his voice beyond that. This goodbye was hard every time.

“I’m proud of you, Caleb.” Essek kissed him, and then pressed their foreheads together. “You will be an incredible teacher. You already are.” Caleb swallowed against a lump in his throat. He was not going to cry. He was not going to make this harder for Essek than it needed to be.

Somehow, he managed to find his voice. “I finally had a good example.”

Essek chuckled softly. “That may be the one thing in my life I did right.”

“It’s an important thing you did right, but not the only one.” Caleb found his hand, twining their fingers together. His grip would slacken in sleep, letting Essek extract himself without too much difficulty.

“I try to remember that. Thank you. Get some sleep.”

Caleb didn’t want to close his eyes, knowing Essek wouldn’t be there in the morning. But Essek had to leave sometime, and he was giving Caleb every moment he could spare. So Caleb closed his eyes and relaxed into the pillow.

“I love you, Essek.”

“I love you, Caleb.”

Sometimes they didn’t need to say it. It was always true, whether or not they put it into words. Tonight, however, they both felt just a little more fragile, a little more vulnerable, and the words helped.

And then Caleb slept. The last thing he remembered was Essek’s fingers dancing sweetly in his hair.

****

Waking alone, Caleb tried not to be too dour in the morning, but given Yasha kept trying to find things around the house to keep him busy, he was clearly not doing a good job. He had to meet with Astrid (and probably Wulf) later in the day to discuss work some more, and he needed to bring up the Volstrucker survivors. Maybe Astrid had already been working on contacting them, but it wasn’t clear. It needed to be.

For now, however, he let Yasha drag him out to the garden. He liked having his hands in the soil, coaxing life out of the earth. After dealing so much death in this world, it was nice to put life back into it. He knew Yasha felt the same. It also let him reminisce about some of his less painful memories of home. Planting green beans with his mother.

It was also a little easier to bask in the afterglow of last night out here in the sun.

“Did you have a good time last night?” Yasha asked. Caleb was glad Beauregard was already at work. She wouldn’t tease him, but he knew she would have to restrain herself.

“Ja,” Caleb said quietly.

“He’s soft with you. It’s lovely.” She watched him, and she saw a little too well. “You miss him.”

“A lot, ja.”

“You’re good for each other,” she said. “I’m glad you have him, even if it’s not all the time.”

Caleb knew his smile was incredibly sad, but it was a smile nonetheless. “Me too.”

Essek’s Sending reached him in that moment. “Hello, love. I have arrived at my destination in one piece. A little further away than intended, but unharmed. How’s your morning?” A slight pause. “I love you.” Ah, he’d realised he had three words left.

Full of warmth from the sun and Essek’s word economy, Caleb responded, “Hallo, Essek. Glad you are safe. I am gardening with Yasha.” She waved. “She says hi. We had leftover bread for breakfast. Talk soon. Love you, too.”

“That’s very sweet, Caleb.”

He chuckled, and it sounded a little more fragile than he would’ve liked. “Careful. I will start crying again.”

“Hey, that’s okay. I’ve been crying a lot, too. I think it’s a good thing.”

Maybe. Caleb found it too unsettling to have that view on it. He stood up from the ground, knees damp with morning dew, and dusted the grass off his trousers. Establishing a garden here, and actually putting his own hands in the dirt this time, felt permanent. Unless something went very wrong, they were going to be here for a long time.

Yasha hadn’t had a stable home for years, either. And she also had awful violence and loss baked into her past, and terrifying blank patches in her memory. It was easy to spend quiet time with her, because they understood each other in a way the others sometimes couldn’t.

They enjoyed a quiet cup of tea on the steps linking the back door to the garden. Yasha was partway through repairing the fence back here, and she insisted on working with it alone; magic would end the project too quickly.

The sun reflected in her whitening hair, glowing like the radiance inside her. She deserved all the gentle mornings; she wore them well. Yasha gazed out at the barest beginnings of their garden, and she smiled.

“This suits you,” Caleb said.

“I’m getting used to it,” she replied softly. “After so long, I get to just be a…” She caught herself. “Well. I’m not a wife.”

“For now.”

She chuckled. “For now. It’s nice here. I get to bake bread, and grow a little garden, and welcome the people I love when they come home. And I get to love whoever I want. That’s all I ever wanted.”

“You deserve it. You deserve peace.”

Yasha smiled into her teacup. “Beau tells me that every day. I think I’m starting to believe it. What about you?”

A short question, with a complicated answer. “Sometimes. I do not know if I will ever feel like I deserve this without reservation. It is getting easier. Having a mission helps, I think.”

“We can do this,” Yasha told him. She said it quietly, but with every ounce of determination she had. Yasha had a lot. Caleb was struck by her soft strength, as he often was. Letting oneself be gentle after years of violence and pain was one of the hardest things to do. Caleb knew that all too well.

Caleb held out his fist, and she bumped it. “Ja, we got this.”

And he actually believed it. If only a little bit.

****

Caleb had an easier time walking into Soltryce Academy this time. Starting from a far more energised and calm place than last time carried him through the memories. Entering Astrid’s office was still a little painful, but he was strong enough to handle it.

Astrid and Wulf were seated in armchairs in front of the fireplace, reading. There was a pile on the table between them, and evident gaps on the bookshelves. They had rarely gotten to read books from Trent’s personal collection. The silent fuck you was vindicating, even vicariously.

“The old man had some interesting material,” Astrid said in Zemnian, skipping over the pleasantries. They didn’t need them at this point. She messaged him frequently enough that it felt like they were simply picking up a briefly dropped conversation. They usually spoke Zemnian when they did not have non-speakers to contend with, and Wulf followed suit. They would occasionally borrow a word or phrase from Common if the sentiment worked better.

Wulf snorted. “Pretty dry reading. You’ll like it, Bren.”

Caleb shrugged. “Once a nerd, always a nerd.”

Wulf set the book on the table, stretching; his shirt rode up a little bit and Caleb kept his eyes on his face with a great deal of effort. “If you want more colourful reading, the smut shop you were asking about is on the north side of the market.”

“Kingsley asked me.”

“Uh-huh,” Wulf said flatly.

“Listen, you cannot flirt with all my friends and then take that tone with me.”

“Just did.”

Caleb resisted the somewhat mild urge to scream. Wulf and Astrid were both very good at putting him off-balance, in very different ways. “Whatever makes you happy, Wulf. Astrid, can we talk about Advanced Transmutation? I am going to explode if I don’t talk about this in the next ten seconds.”

Astrid had been watching his exchange with a cocked eyebrow, but she smoothed out her expression and gestured towards a third armchair, closer to the fire.

He sat down, holding one hand out towards the warmth. “Astrid, I say this with all the respect in the world: what the fuck?”

“The advanced classes are in a delicate situation,” Astrid replied. “Professor Weber and I want as many of the Volstrucker program survivors back in school as possible. You are a better person to work with them than Bettina, and with any students who lost loved ones in the war. She told you her reasons, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Then what is the problem?”

“Aside from my lack of qualifications and the fact I never technically graduated from the Academy?”

“Bren, your practical experience outweighs all of that. Bettina will help you with the rest.”

“Astrid suggested you take the advanced students,” Wulf said casually, leafing through another tome as if he wasn’t throwing a bomb into the conversation.

Caleb felt an ache in his gut, and he had to close his eyes and compose himself. “Astrid. Why?”

“The Academy is about to throw those children into the world,” she replied quietly. “Whatever lessons you wish to impart, you have to impart them now. Not only that, but Bettina is not well-suited to teach survivors of the Volstrucker program. She has spent her entire life in the Academy. They will not take her seriously. Some may resent her for not doing something about the abuse happening right under her nose. She told you that.”

“How many survivors do you expect we will have?” asked Caleb.

“I am still trying to track them down,” Astrid replied, with an edge of frustration.

“I was meaning to talk to you about the Volstrucker.” Caleb had been racking his brain whenever he had the time and energy. There was no formal infrastructure to support the survivors of the program. If Caleb hadn’t met Veth, and then later the Nein, things could have gone very badly for him in so many different ways.

“Talk,” Astrid said.

“These people need help,” he said. “Unless we get that mental health support I asked for, we are effectively on our own. Even if the Assembly throws us crumbs, nobody can understand what it was like except others like us. We need to talk to each other. Regularly, if possible.”

Wulf’s eyes stopped scanning the page. “Do you really think Volstrucker will want to talk to each other about this shit?”

“Who else is there?” Caleb said plainly. “They--we deserve the chance to support each other. Regular meetings, if we can. A support group, I suppose. Low pressure. Just a group of people who understand each other going through yet another upheaval in a life filled with them.”

Astrid watched him closely, eyes narrowed in thought. “Interesting. I think I understand where this idea came from.”

“We got each other through a lot back in the day,” said Caleb. “But we weren’t equipped for it. There was no blueprint for what we were to each other, but we did our best. Until it wasn’t enough. And later, I had the Nein. I would not be here without them. I owe them everything. Not everyone has people like that.”

“I’ll find us a place and let you know,” Astrid said.

“Thank you.” Caleb had expected he would be a little emotional about it, so at least he was prepared to ward off tears. “Thank you so much.”

Astrid averted her eyes, gazing into the fire. “As for your job, most of the children in the program have been located. Some of their parents have pulled them out of school. I am… trying to talk them out of that. The last thing we need are traumatised, half-trained adolescents running around unchecked.”

Caleb was hung up on her wording. Most of the children had been found. “There are some unaccounted for?”

“Two. Felix and Nicolaus. They’re both seventeen.” Astrid didn’t need to point out why their age was a problem.

There was no time to panic; Caleb needed details. “What do we know about them?”

“I worked with them a little,” Astrid replied. “They are close, not unlike the three of us at their age. If we find one, we may find the other. They are from Blumenthal. The Crownsguard are keeping an eye out, but I do not trust them to handle this with the care this situation requires.”

“Specialisations?”

“Both Evocation.”

Caleb didn’t need to say aloud how bad this could be. Two missing Evocation wizards, on the edge of graduating the Volstrucker program, who had possibly had their memories modified and orders distributed. It had been a few months since Trent would have last had contact with them. The worst could already have happened. Then again, Caleb had been in Blumenthal not that long ago to visit his parents, and he hadn’t heard anything that would have given him pause.

“I was in Blumenthal a few weeks ago,” Caleb said. “If they followed through on an order, it was likely after that. I’d… like to think I would have noticed otherwise. Most people seem to agree that I am rather intelligent.” The dry humour probably wasn’t appropriate in this moment, but he needed to keep himself calm and sarcasm usually worked a treat. “In more recent times, I would assume word would have gotten back to you. Maybe we are not too late.”

“Optimism is a new look for you, Bren,” said Wulf.

Caleb would never call himself an optimist, but he could see why Wulf was uncomfortable, even if he hid it behind one part sarcasm and one part a veiled flirt. “Wulf, I have seen a lot of things in this past year alone that have… changed me. There was a time, not too long ago, when I did not expect to survive the week. And… look at us now. We are sitting here in Astrid’s office, reading Trent’s old books because he is stuck in a dark hole and cannot do anything to us. I spent the morning gardening with Yasha. My friends bought me a quilt because it reminded me of my mother. Things are better for me than they have been in a very long time. So, I am trying new things, like having hope sometimes.”

“Point taken,” Wulf murmured, averting his eyes. Tense. Uncomfortable.

“I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything about the boys,” Astrid said. “Whatever happens… I think you should be there.

[redjennies]

Thats a real good point about matt not setting them up for failure, I forget sometimes that would just be too risky of a tpk which would suck for them all - ur right they could probably take the TT in some creative/roundabout way (like the laughing hand)

But yeah it all leads to tharizdun.. I think the assembly folks might be so obsessed with it because of that hubris ljke you said, maybe some idea of disconnect between aeor and thazzy (like the angel of jrons, they don't realise they're working towards that?).

I REALLY like your theory it might be connected in some way to dunamancy/the luxon etc!! Maybe like the divine gate IS the luxon?? And so breaking it makes dunamancy/the beacons crazy powerful or s/t??

Woah wait

What if the thing that brought the assembly together after the mage fighting wasn't what they said - what if they all agreed that they should work towards the same end that benefits magic itself, aeor? I've seen theories that ludinus was FROM aeor and escaped before it fell, what if he has been working towards this status of nonagon for centuries, and brought the assembly together with that goal? Each ofc thinking that when the time comes THEY will be the one to benefit, but in the meantime it benefits them all to play nice and see what they can do. Maybe they believe aeor is powerful enough to stand up to ALL the gods (maybe choosing to not see how close jt is to thazzy?), and that shattering the divine gate would be worth it? Or they think they can get jt back keeping the gate intact??

Idk but honestly this campaign excites me in a conceptual and character way that c1 never managed to and I love it

(Sorry ive just been sending these long-ass asks rambling about my theories, I just love ur vibes and opinions and talking about meta or theory aha)

it's totally okay. I like bouncing my ideas off other people too, and while a lot of what you're throwing at me ranges from "HARD AGREE" to "part of me thinks that doesn't sound right but I don't pay enough attention to when wizards are talking to dispute it," these are earnest thoughts made with a genuine excitement for what's going on and I'm not going to discourage that.

two disclaimers tho. one: I don't have like a ton of brain power until after my mid day naps so I apologize if any of this feels like half-assed. other disclaimer: I have zero understanding of dunamancy and the Luxon. all of that to the best of my knowledge is Matt Mercer original and while I can kind of follow other lore because it's based on D&D stuff I'm familiar with, this dunamancy and Luxon stuff is so foreign but fascinating to me so I am just extremely speculating on any possible connection it might have to anything. like idk I feel like their interest in studying the beacons could be purely academic but I want it to be connected to something more because that's more fun to me.

but yeah I'm super sus of Ludinus. he's up to something and I'm convinced it's some "bring back the Age of Arcanum" wizard fuckery which I'm just straight up not big brain enough to have any actual insight into because I don't get wizards, but there's enough "shit keeps leading back to you, buddy" to make me view him as having some nefarious intent but I also view him as intelligent enough that with how reckless fucking with Tharizdun would be that he also has to have some long-term plan going to ensure that whatever wizard bullshit he's trying to accomplish goes in his favor and that makes me way more nervous. like it might be "high risk, high reward" but this guy can't have survived falls of civilizations just to throw it away without a metric shit ton of contingency plans and I don't like not knowing what those intentions and plans are. idk I feel very out of my depth during this arc but I am very interested in what's happening. it's just not really how my brain works. I'm sure once everything starts coming more together, I'll go back and watch episodes and be like "oh shit this is what Matt was getting at" but idk right now, I'm just like "fuck if I know what goes on in wizard heads, but I don't trust 'em."

[your-turn-to-role]

new opinions of the cerberus assembly (etgw spoilers!!)

somewhat inspired by the conversations the other day, bc it’s reminded me i have a lot to say about these motherfuckers

let’s start with the obvious:

Master Trent Ikithon, Archmage of Civil Influence (Chaotic Evil Human)

Book Text: [Trent is respected as the acclaimed Propagandist of the empire and the third oldest member of the assembly. Once an instructor at the Soltryce Academy, he only returns every few years to collect young students for his experiments in the mental conditioning that he calls “awakening.” Many of these students go mad and are locked away, but those who endure become zealots for the assembly and join the Volstrucker, an elite group of arcane thugs commonly known as Scourgers, who perform the assembly’s dirtiest work under Trent’s direction.]

Most of this we knew. I hate this guy. Though, as a point of interest - Caleb’s for sure not the first person this has happened to. They account for a certain number of aspiring Volstrucker never completing the program, Caleb was just another statistic. Which means somewhere in Vergessen is a lot of other people with the same backstory who never managed to escape. That’s, something worth looking into, maybe.

Martinet Ludinus Da’leth, Archmage of Domestic Protections (Lawful Evil Elf)

[Ludinus is the oldest and only original member of the assembly, as well as the master of warfare and conflict. Charged with overhauling the military structure of the Dwendalian Empire, Ludinus directed the construction of the garrisons on the Xhorhasian border and often oversees their maintenance. He was one of the mages who survived the destruction of Molaesmyr and fled to Bysaes Tyl, but he saw the opportunity to achieve greatness within the empire and left his culture behind to continue his arcane pursuits. Wise, if emotionless, he bears a deep hatred for the Kryn Dynasty and spares no effort gathering information on their weaknesses and secrets. Ludinus spends most of his time developing arcane weapons of war and shoring up the military might of the empire, while subtly challenging the leadership of Crown Marshal Damurag.]

This guy’s old. That's the scariest thing about him really. Like, this guy's been in the empire since it was half its current size. This guy saw the destruction of Molaesmyr, and knew many of its residents. But he also rejected that society, purely for his own ends. He's at least 400 years old, more likely at least 500, and for the past 3-4 centuries has been focusing entirely on magic and warfare. That's a long time to hone those skills. Ludinus may say it's hard to compare power in the Assembly, but if I had to pick one of them for an end game boss, it would be him, no question. Trent's more of a wild card, sure, but he's only like 60, 70 years old. He's a baby compared to Da'leth. Keep an eye on this dude, and under no circumstances trust him.

Lady Vess de Rogna, Archmage of Antiquity (Neutral Evil Half-Elf)

[A public recluse for most of her life, Vess is both a brilliant mage and dedicated historian. She assumed this post after replacing her criminal predecessor, Lady Delilah Briarwood. As an instructor at the Soltryce Academy for over two decades, Vess has studied and unraveled a number of historical mysteries and pre-Calamity riddles — and hoarded some of the spoils for herself. Always eager to pursue forgotten lore and artifacts of eons past, Vess has been known to quietly vanish to Xhorhas for weeks at a time, returning with fewer guards and more uncovered secrets.]

Canon confirmation that this is who took over from Delilah Briarwood, and from what we’ve seen, they’re rather similar people. They're both scientists and historians, ruthlessly efficient, far more concerned with what they can learn and what they can do than what's good or safe for those around them. Liable to be found breaking the law in the name of science and progress. At least Vess has lasted longer than her predecessor.

Headmaster Oremid Hass, Archmage of Cultivation (Lawful Neutral Earth Genasi)

[The current headmaster of the Hall of Erudition in Zadash, Oremid is tasked with watching and grooming the next generation of mages and arcane specialists outside Rexxentrum. While he himself is a gentle soul who adores animals, he puts on the façade of a strict man with no sense of humor, which is further enhanced by the elemental influence of his earth genasi blood. He teaches students that failure is not an option, and that emotion is a barrier to one’s true ability. Equally feared, respected, and privately loathed by the students (and some instructors), Oremid personally dismisses those who break under his school’s curriculum and heaps joyous praise on those who endure their training.]

So, I've had teachers like this. And they stick in your mind, because, even a decade later, I still have a hard time getting over their instilled fear of failure. I can believe that, in general terms, Oremid's not a terrible person. I think he looks the other way on a lot of things, which precludes him from ever qualifying as good in my books, but he hasn't committed any major acts of torture or murder himself. Still though. You don't teach like that if you view your students as people. You teach like that if you view your students as potential assets. So like.... not as bad as some of his colleagues. Potentially someone they could work with if they had to. But still probably someone to stay away from.

Headmaster Zivan Margolin, Archmage of Conscription (Lawful Neutral Human)

[Zivan Margolin inherited the position of headmaster from his father, the late Jorma Margolin. Zivan has been the headmaster of the Soltryce Academy in Rexxentrum for nearly twenty years. Calm, patient, and quietly imposing, Zivan walks the halls of the Academy with a keen eye for talent. He is in charge of the curriculum and also watches for any latent powers that may be worth grooming as future allies of the assembly, dangers to be monitored, or prospective minds for Ikithon to conscribe into the Volstrucker. Zivan has rarely had the opportunity to demonstrate his full power, for he is typically busied with keeping the peace between the feuding members of the assembly. Those who have witnessed his true might, however, now know that his words are backed by some of the most powerful magics within the Cerberus Assembly.]

I think @lostsometime said it best, having the archmage of conscription be in charge of your elite magic school really sums up everything wrong with the empire. Like, if that's out in the open, your problems are unfixable. Get a new government. Jeez.

Master Doolan Tversky, Archmage of Dysology (Chaotic Neutral Gnome)

[The second-oldest member of the assembly, Doolan is in charge of the study and understanding of abnormal creatures and deviants of arcane creation that might threaten the empire’s way of life. She is an absentminded yet brilliant gnome who is obsessed with all beasts, aberrations, and creatures of legend. Doolan imports creatures from around the world to study, disassemble, and use in her attempts to revolutionize magical practices. She resents the Library of the Cobalt Soul, as her reputation has caused them to bar her from their facilities. She wishes to catalog the unstudied horrors of Xhorhas and has covertly obtained the services of the Myriad to retrieve new specimens.]

Now, Doolan is fascinating to me, not because I think she's a good person, but because she's just so delightfully weird. She's probably done some evil as fuck shit but she's also a gremlin of a gnome who loves weird fucked up arcane experiments and magical meteors that created eldritch ducks and all sorts of bizarre things like that. I'd love to see more of her, because there's always room in fantasy stories for more weird morally ambiguous old ladies who are banned from libraries on the grounds of "is about as likely to eat the books as she is to read them" and "last time we let her in here she somehow combined five forbidden rituals and created a new species of demon that haunts the halls of the rexxentrum archive spreading toxic slime everywhere and we can't figure out what it wants or how to make it go away".

Lord Athesias Uludan, Archmage of Diplomatic Union (Neutral Good Human)

[Athesias’s charm and bombastic personality serve him well as a diplomat. His duty is to foster a positive relationship with people of power both within and beyond the borders of the empire. He was originally one of the most effective instructors at the Soltryce Academy, but his penchant for spectacle and his rampant narcissism made him a difficult ally to trust with state secrets. When the office of Diplomatic Union opened, he was quickly and quietly reassigned. Athesias finds great pleasure in ruining or usurping the plans of his counterpart in the Crown’s employ, Emissary Lord Zeddan Graf.]

We’ve talked a bit about Uludan already - the Gilderoy Lockhart of the group for sure. Though I’m sure he has layers to him, so I’d be interested to find out what exactly they are.

And, saving the most interesting for last,

Baroness Jenna Iresor, Archmage of Industry (True Neutral Doppelganger)

[One of the younger members of the assembly, Jenna is known for her business acumen and her extravagant lifestyle. By hiding her nature as a doppelganger and using memory-altering magics at a young age to fabricate a false past, Jenna constructed her human persona from the ground up, leveraging her powers of deception to essentially write herself into history as a Clovis Concord expatriate. She helps oversee central guild business in Rexxentrum under Guildmaster Kai Arness, and helps Exchequer Aethia Drooze organize the collection of tithes through starostas across the empire.]

I am, insanely curious about how a doppelganger ended up in the Cerberus Assembly. She’s definitely ambitious for sure, doppelgangers already have a fair bit of innate magic - they’re natural shapeshifters and have a fair amount of psychic powers (like reading minds of anyone who happens to be near them), but to get here she had to be extremely committed. Which means she probably has plans for this position, or had plans that she’s already put into motion. Very interested what those are, especially for the archmage of industry.

[aaand-you-float-really-good]

just doing my duty as the captain of the s.s jessek. with this entirely platonic piece of fanfiction..

It’s also on AO3. Have fun!

-

 “E- Thain! So good to see you again! I missed you!”

 Oh no.

 Essek quickly swallowed his mouthful of wine, and feigned surprise at Jester’s approach, as if he hadn’t kept his eye on the Nein the entire evening.

 Surely she hadn’t seen through his disguise?

 No, a quick look at his hands confirmed that the illusion was still active, and while maybe he hadn’t been the most convincing back at the docks, she would have no reason to suspect Essek of all people. Surely.

 No, this was just Jester being Jester and befriending anything and anyone that didn’t get away quickly enough.

 Which meant that it now was time for Essek to be Dezran Thain, who didn’t have too big of a stake in current goings on, and who didn’t have a reason to be hyper aware of this random group of adventurers.

 “Hm? Ah, yes… uhm… from the Mighty Nein, yes? But we only met a couple hours ago?”

 “Oh, yeah, I guess. But a couple hours is enough to miss someone, don’tcha think?”

 “I suppose…” Maybe if he gave short enough answers she would go away?

 Oh, who was he kidding?

 She pulled up a chair and sat down with their knees almost touching. “You know who I wish was here though?”

 He would be here for a while. “Hm?” But short answers still saved him from having to come up with lies.

 She leaned in, with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. “Our friend Essek!”

 That. Was a truly unfortunate turn of events.

 But at least it meant she didn’t suspect him.

 “I… don’t think I’m familiar?”

 Why did it have to be Jester of all people? Why did he have to feel this need to be gentle with her? He could have just been callous. He could have said that he didn’t care, and left.

 But no.

 It had to be Jester.

 “He’s great! He’s, like, a really powerful wizard! And I think he’s, like, a spymaster or something? I don’t know, actually. He’s never explained that. I guess I’ll have to ask him the next time I see him. What do you think a shadowhand does?”

 “Uhm… Well…” Actually that one was hard to explain, so it didn’t take too much acting talent to flounder over the answer.

 “He’s really cool though!” Jester went on. “He floats everywhere! And he’s super nice, too! He’s been helping us teleport around, even though Fjord’s been a bit of an asshole that one time, but Essek still helped us out, because he’s cool like that and I think he loves us? He’s been teaching Caleb some magic too, so Caleb’s been doing all kinds of cool magic recently!”

 “Caleb?”

 Wait, why did he ask that? He should leave now, not elongate the conversation by asking questions.

 “Yeah! He’s over there!” She pointed off to the side of the room, before giving a wave in the same direction. “Hi, Caleb!”

 “Hallo!”

 Essek glanced over to where Caleb had been standing for the last twenty minutes - because of course Essek had been keeping tabs - and saw the zemnian wizard give a quick little wave back in their direction.

 Right, back in character, he’d never talked to the man before. “Ah.”

 “Ooh, I wonder if he could teach Caleb how to teleport as well, then we wouldn’t have to ask Essek for favors all the time!”

 Why hadn’t Essek thought of that? He’d have to keep that one in mind, in the event that it would come up again.

 “Although, honestly, for the longest time that was the only reason why we were hanging out with Essek at all, and I do like sending him messages all the time! I don’t think he liked us or my messages very much at the beginning, but that’s okay, because I know that he likes us so much now!”

 She wasn’t wrong, and that was part of why this was so hard. He hadn’t cared much for anyone, but especially not for the people who went and      undid all his hard work    . But he had warmed up to them, and now he did like them… so much.

 He almost wished they hadn’t gotten involved, so they wouldn’t be in harm’s way now. Except for that very big and very selfish part of his heart that was so glad that he now had them in his life and wouldn’t give them up for the world.

 Of course, he couldn’t tell her any of that.

 “Ah, yes, that…”

 “And we love him a lot, too, of course!”

 Oh.

 That had been both unexpected and painful.

 He bit the inside of his cheek to keep tears from welling up.

 They couldn’t know. There was absolutely no way he was ever going to let them know what he had done. Because if they knew then there would be absolutely no way they would still… love him.

 “He’s always been so nice to us! He got us a house, you know! Well, his family did, but he was the one who showed it to us, so we kinda just associate that with him. But he’s really lovely though, and we love him so much!”

 Essek couldn’t even think of a mumbled answer, because he was busy choking down his emotions, so he took a sip of wine, to hide his lack of a reaction.

 “He’s hot, too,” Jester added as an afterthought.

 Essek almost choked on the wine.

 “Lord Thain! Are you okay?!”

 “Yes, yes, I’m fine.” He coughed a bit more until he stopped being in immediate danger of drowning.

 He needed to get out of this situation. And quick.

 But how?

 “Ah… this… friend of yours? He sounds like… a good person?”

 Well, that wasn’t the way.

 “Weeell… Yes and no…” She leaned in conspiratorially and quietly whispered in his ear. “Actually we recently discovered that he is a traitor!”

 Oh.

 “Oh.”

 Oh no.

 “Yes!” She glanced over her shoulders and continued even more quietly, “He traded away some sacred artifacts.”

 Oh shit.

 “Oh my! How- how have you come across this information? Have you- uhm- have you informed the appropriate authorities?”

 She leaned back and smiled at him, and that was a weird thing to do, right? “We’re not gonna rat out our friend! What do you take us for?!”

 Did she- Oh fuck, she knew. Why else would she be telling a random stranger who just so happened to be Essek in disguise? This entire conversation made no sense if she didn’t know-

 No, no. He had to assume she didn’t know. And if she had a hunch, then he had to do his damnedest to make sure he didn’t confirm it.

 “And you’re telling me? Why?” It wasn’t possible that they knew. Right? He was the shadowhand, for fuck’s sake! Not getting caught was his entire shtick!

 Jester winked at him playfully. “How do you think we found out?”

 “Ah.” So they did know.

 Unless they weren’t entirely sure and she was fishing for a reaction.

 “I- And what does that mean exactly?”

 Why was it so hard to lie to this little tiefling? If it had been anyone else, he would have been fine-

 And, well… Okay, no, that was a lie. Caduceus was too perceptive for his own good, Caleb had spent enough time with him to recognize his tells, Beau… was Beau, and the rest of them… He considered them his friends, and as he had only recently learned, it didn’t feel good to lie to friends.

 “Frumpkin was on the boat, watching, when you talked to Ludinus, and Caduceus did some magic to Beau that lets her see through illusions. Did you know that that guy over there is actually a dragonborn!?”

 “I- can’t say I did. Uhm…” She hadn’t said it outright. There was still room for doubt. She could still be lying.

 He needed to get out before he gave himself away. “I need to-”

 “Essek,” she whispered, and took one of his hands in hers. “We know. We need to talk about this. We’re not trying to get you into trouble or anything! We want to help! Well… we probably want to help. Kinda depends on how evil your motives were, I guess. Although we did some pretty messed up stuff as well…” She trailed off, looking off into space with a furrowed brow.

 “If…” There was no hiding it, was there? And if they were his friends… She said they wouldn’t sell him out. He trusted them. He needed to trust them. “If you knew then why did you say all of that?”

 “I needed you to know that you’re still our friend, and that we still love you, and that we’re gonna help you with this! Unless if your goal is to destroy the world or unleash the Chained Oblivion or something like that. In that case we’d have to stop you, probably.”

 She took another moment to screw up her face and think. “Also I was hoping that you’d reveal yourself. Because, you know, I was saying how great you are and how much we love you - which is all true by the way! I need you to know that! - and then you’d be all, like, overcome with guilt and also appreciation for your friends, so you’d cave in and just tell us what you did, and ask us for help, because we’re such cool friends!”

 She stopped again, and pouted. “That didn’t happen, of course, but it could have! And it’s definitely better than Nott’s- I mean, Veth’s plan of just poisoning you!”

 That sounded concerning. Maybe he should have a talk with Nott, or, apparently Veth now. Or better yet, maybe he should stay as far away from her as possible. Both options seemed reasonable right now.

 “I- yes, I do appreciate that you didn’t go with that plan. But I- You want to help me? With this?”

 “Yes!”

 “You’re aware of what I did, yes?”

 Jester looked at him with open and honest eyes. “You stole two beacons and started the war.”

 Well, if you put it like that…

 “And you’re okay with that?”

 She shot him a subdued smile and squeezed the hand that she was still holding.“What you’ve done is in the past, and can’t be changed now, right? All we can do now is try to make it better! And handing you over to the Dynasty for punishment isn’t going to actually stop the war or bring back the people that died in it! Don’t get me wrong, there'll probably be consequences, and I don’t think all of the others still trust you right now. But we will help you fix this!”

 “That- yes.” He bowed his head. “Thank you.”

 Jester took that opportunity to scoot closer and press her lips to his forehead. “You’re part of this family now. Welcome to the Mighty Nein.”

[blazingstar24]

Thinking about how FCG genuinely seemed to buy into what the Ruby Vanguard was selling. Because of course for them, a clean slate sounds fantastic. They just learned that they are actually an assassin robot. That they were the one who murder their previous party. That there could have been more people they’ve killed.

And then some guy tells you that some higher being could make that all go away. That if freed Predathos will free everyone from it all and everyone gets to start over.

To someone like FCG? That’s the best news they could have gotten. Think about their reaction to Shithead. They were convinced that the bird was a manifestation of their sins come to punish them. We thought Orym has guilt issues? FCG can rival him in that because FCG’s issue is that he can’t even remember if he did anything wrong and he can’t remember what he did wrong.

To hear that you hurt someone but you can’t remember what you did? How do you make up for that? How do you atone if you have no memory of the incident? How can you move on from trauma that you don’t know the root cause of? Getting told someone can give you a redo is the best news. It’s a shortcut to feeling better. I mean we all have been tempted by the idea of getting to redo a moment where we fucked up.

But this is the koolaid that the Ruby Vanguard is selling. And the scary part is that it seems like they truly believe it. I personally think Ludinus does not buy what he’s selling. Because this is the ultimate tactic to recruitment. He finds people like FCG, like that guy. They’ve experienced trauma, they’ve had a bad lot, they’re broken down. And he sells them the dream.

What’s scary about Ludinus is that he’s not Trent. He knows that breaking people doesn’t work. He’s seen what becomes of that with Caleb. You cannot abuse someone into following you, it only leads to a knife in your back. No, what Ludinus does is he finds the broken, the desperate and he “lifts” them up. He offers that dream of a second chance. Of power. Of being more. Because he knows that once you buy into the dream, he’s got them. Once they buy in, he can manipulate you to die for him, to kill for him.

The guy they captured was ready to die for the cause. If he wasn’t magically compelled, he wouldn’t have spilled. He’s all in. Because Ludinus has promised that Predathos will make all that religious trauma he experienced go away. It’s his revenge. And now he doesn’t even hear the insane amount of holes in the plan. Like every question the BH bring up is valid. How do you know that Predathos won’t just fuck the mortals over too?

This is Ludinus’ MO. I mean how do you think Essek went with the CA for his research. Of course Essek willingly chose to do so and probably saw through the bullshit real quick, but Ludinus definitely played the sympathetic card. The “oh of course I understand how it feels to not have your research funded and appreciated. Your talents are being wasted” card. He’s lawful evil. He knows how to play the game vs Trent’s oozing chaotic evil everywhere he goes. Jester literally thought he was an okay dude after meeting him and had to be reminded that he helped hold Nott’s family hostage.

And honestly it’s not just FCG this would appeal to. All of BH’s have that desire in them. It’s just that a good chunk of them have good detecting bs meters. Truly it’s, Fearne and FCG that could be swayed. And that’s the scary part. Because in that moment Imogen understands the guy and why he’s doing what he’s doing. And now it’s not just evil moon obsessed people. It’s people that have been manipulated and swayed under some charismatic fuck. It’s not just a cult full of faceless evils. It’s them staring down at that temptation to give into what’s easy. They need to be stopped of course but boy did it get so much more complex.

[utilitycaster]

first, middle person: yeah I am fully on board with the moons being important, beacons maybe being from the moon, and weird betrayer god stuff with the moon just not the “I like spelljammer and I don’t know how logic works” portion.

So: I’m very much on the record as saying I don’t usually like Secret Dragon theories in general, and Yussa is just the current iteration of this theory. I missed the theory for Gilmore since I watched C1 after it had completed and avoided most theories until I’d gone through it all, but I would have been equally irritated at that had I been watching C1 in real time.

Most Secret Dragon theories go like this:

-NPC is arcane caster

-NPC is interesting/cool/attractive

-NPC doesn’t reveal every single solitary detail of their life to the party

-therefore...metallic dragon?

and it’s just like, this isn’t impossible or based on false premises or anything, but there’s no reason for it, and (here’s where it gets into my opinion) it’s way less fun and interesting than “this is a humanoid person”.

It’s annoying, because I really like arcane casters and I really like stories about people, and Secret Dragon theories basically just take any powerful wizard or sorcerer who’s vaguely interesting and kind of mysterious - two traits that are pretty par for the course for powerful wizards and sorcerers - and instead of exploring what kind of person they are and how they got here is just like CLEARLY A HUMANOID COULD NOT BE SMART AND FUNNY LIKE THIS MUST BE A DRAGON.

Which makes the better story: a wealthy elven merchant who’s lived a long weird life (you know what would be cool? Yussa and Ludinus having untold history, as older elven mages on the continent), making friends with mages across the world and having some kind of petty grudge against the ruling family in Nicodranas, fucking up their plans to gentrify the Open Quay, just living his best life in a flagrantly magical tower? or something something dragon? I should point out most of these theories do not actually provide like, supporting evidence beyond “arcane caster” and “mysterious” so I don’t really know how he got to this point as a dragon. This is more a general thing; if you’re coming up with a theory to explain something that doesn’t need explaining, unless it explains it better than a more mundane explanation I’m going to automatically dislike that theory. I love fantasy and stories about magic but there’s a point where “a wizard/dragon did it” stops being a handwave on boring details we didn’t care about anyway (this is a whole other post tbh), and starts erasing real and valid plot details that could make for a richer world. I want fantasy, but I want real people in that fantasy world who just happen to be able to cast fireball, you know?

(also if he could turn into a dragon, canonically only the ability of ancient dragons, he could have used one of his multiple legendary resistances to not get caught in the happy fun ball)

(also also, ancient dragons canonically have a lower intelligence score than a humanoid wizard with max-ed out intelligence, but do typically have maxed-out or above 20 charisma and it would be outright disadvantageous for a dragon to become a wizard instead of being a sorcerer, which isn’t to say they can’t do it for fun, but like, at least you could have made that argument for Gilmore. I don’t think anyone did, because the argument was always Hey Dragons Cool and not trying to answer a question that really needed answering, but like, they could have)

(triple also, it is kind of weird, and I mean this genuinely and not in an ‘i just think it’s funny’ way that the three Dragon Theory subjects I can think of offhand in actual play, namely Gilmore, Yussa, and Angus McDonald from TAZ are all men of color. I don’t think I ever saw this theory for like, Allura, or Essek whose race doesn’t overlay normal irl human races in quite the same way which is definitely a whole other discussion, or Ludinus, or for that matter any of the Cerberus Assembly. Certainly it never got as widespread. I don’t necessarily think this is significant - three data points isn’t a lot - but it is weird.)

I should note: Critical Role has had one humanoid ancient dragon character (J’mon Sa Ord). I am not mad at this for two reasons. First, there was a genuine question: how has a humanoid ruled Ankharel for like a thousand years continuously? Why are their features hard to focus on? Second, they brought up a dragon within a day of meeting Vox Machina, like, at that point you’re connecting some actual dots with your theories vs. just pointing at arbitrary wizards and crying dragon.