#or just make one huge reply as if it was a self para?

[thehuntress-rose]

Write your RPer Resolutions for 2023! (What are some goals for yourself as a writer? Improve descriptions? Plot with more members? Etc.

I really want to work on my consistency with replies. Outside of RP life has been chaotic for most of my time here and save for this past month, I saw a huge improvement since I moved! I just want to take the new year and continue with that momentum and be more involved in my plotting and reply schedule! 

I want to write more self paras! I feel like my characters go through so much behind the scenes that only ever come out in passing dialogue or HCs but I definitely want to be able to flesh out their experiences more via one shots. 

Cause an RP wide event, or at least be the driving force behind a big plot. I love to be involved in them, it brings me joy! But I want to have a character be the cause of something or just pioneer something that everyone can be a part of and craft a story that everyone can be excited to be a part of too. No ideas yet bestie ok.

Write at least one resolution, or “goal,” that you have as an RPer for your character(s)

Rose: Make more connections outside of her huntress connections. Normal friends! San: Same as above, BUT I also want her to start looking for her mom for realsies. This could def include a lot of people! Potentially a race to find her vs Gaston?? Kill the Beast! (Save the Wolf Goddess) Susan: Get her to a spot to do something I have wanted since I got her. She needs to find a better balance and acceptance for herself tho before she will let herself be happy. Maybe even tell someone that isn’t Jess about what she is! Dian: Get better about handling his vampirism. Relapse. Get Worse. Struggle. (Sorry bby) Being a vampire isn’t easy. Laurette: More magic stuff! I loved writing her farmer’s market thread with the fortune telling! Let her use her gift more! Amy: Do more with Foul! It is such a great concept and I feel like I don’t utilize it enough. Lilith: Begin her search for Merlin’s Objects to give to Belos! Also be that Cool, but Strict™ professor. Sophie: Pull her out of her shell and let people in more! She is still new so she has room to grow, but I’d like to see her make friends and potentially tell them what is going on with her.

Write at least one resolution IN CHARACTER for your characters. What do THEY want to accomplish or change in the New Year?

Rose: Visit Henry more often. Bury the Huntsgirl. Start her soft epilogue. San: Branch out more, humans aren’t so bad. Find her mother. Susan: Follow through with her campaign promises of making Swynlake safer for everyone. Help Magicks feel safer, no matter their kind. Dian: Get back to normal. Earn his family’s forgiveness. Laurette: Get passing grades, avoid drama! Maybefindaboyfriendtoookaybye. Amy: Find her fortune, hit some listener goals for Foul! Lilith: Gather Merlin’s Objects. Get her former protege back in line so that she doesn’t bring shame upon her good name. Sophie: Break her curse and go back home? Find true love?? 

List one or more characters you have never interacted with that you would like to do so

CLAYTON: I know you have a thing with Isa rn, but I will be ur wife pls

Genevieve: She’s so cool, be worsties with Rose. I think they’d be neat

Drakken: believe it or not I have not done a thread with him, also know u are with Vixey rn but I’LL BE UR ENDGAME BBY

Talk a bit about your plotting style – what plots are you most drawn to? Do you prefer to come with a fully-formed idea and plot off that, or throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks?

I feel like I kinda suck at plotting lol. I tend to take a backseat and I really do like to fill plot calls when I see them and I feel like I have something applicable. And people tend to do the same for me! BUT! I would say I am a throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks until we can sus out the vibes of a pairing. Then I just love vibing. One of my resolutions was to get better with doing bigger plots and maybe big plots aren’t the meat of the RP, but I feel like my best characterization writing comes from the ripples of those waves. I don’t feel like I am that forward with plotting like “hey I want x, y, and z to happen! Let’s use those as anchor points for the thread” but I WANT TO BE. New year, New Kit. I will only get better and more unhinged from here folks. 

But as for plots I am drawn to, I wanna say I love a plethora. I love larger ones with lots of moving pieces, I just really like to be a player in a long game okay?!?! Like the shark week plot, the knights in elfhame, the fall of the order, Dian’s death at the Gala. Love big dramatic plotlines that make the town talk. But I also love messy relationships like with Tom and Rose and Laurette and Phineas. I think for realism, more people should break up. I love a good doomed relationship. It’s who I am.

Talk a bit about character relationships – what relationship are you most drawn to? How do you prefer to approach shipping (if at all!)? What, specifically, are you looking for right now for your character relationships? 

I love love love characters who bond over shared experiences. Whether it be a trauma or a shared affliction, I just love bonds forged by understanding. Because we all seek to be understood in some way or another and I feel like those relationships tend to last the longest. I am drawn to families and friends who my characters can really bloom around and vice versa! I love a good ship, but I think most of mine have either been plotted out via “hey I want this vibe and for this long with this ending” or purely vibes. Sometimes characters are just meant to be organically and it feels so satisfying to let them have that!! But don’t get me wrong, I like to plan a terrible end lol.

As for relationships I am seeking now, I’d love for San to dip her toes into a human emotion she hasn’t felt before for a human (love) I just think it would be a beautiful and natural part of er character growth to have her find a human that she can feel as protective and soft over as she does her pack. I would love to see Claudette pop in, just to fill the current separation Laurette feels from Paulette since being in school. A sister closer in age might have a bit more understanding than the eldest in her eyes! And maybe some coworkers for Rose (work at Interpride!!) because she needs some work hijinks! 

Talk about your dash reply style and your Discord reply style! (And if applicable, also your doc reply style). What do you like about each type of interaction? What is something you feel is difficult? 

Dash: I feel like I can be so inconsistent with my dash replies. I went from literally not tracking them at all and digging through my reblogs to find threads when I started to actually tracking them in an excel sheet. So we are making progress. I might not have them all up to date, but PROGRESS. And I am actively trying to be better with my dash consistency, especially in the new year :))

Docs: These can go two ways for me; we can bang em out super fast or I will close the tab and forget to do it for days. (I hate having 30 tabs open, it stresses me out). But that being said, I do really like them because they allow you to keep a plot secret until you are ready to drop all of it. And it’s so much easier for 3 or more muns to collaborate because I feel like 3 way threads can get so messy and cluttered on the dash! 

Discord: I love discord threads. I dunno why, but it feels like less pressure to have length or flowery prose (unless it’s an AU then I will go HARD for that shit). It’s quick and snappy and I think the event servers are always poppin and have great stuff happening in them. 

Plotting Exercise! Pick one of the resolutions/goals in #3 and plan a rough guideline to how you could accomplish it. Here’s an example.

SUSAN hears about BRUCE wanting to start a support group and chats with him about what he would like it to consist of, she suggests an AA type forum for Magicks because she has wanted to make a change for that community for a while. SUSAN talks to SIMBA about the AA aspects and how they work, and the BOARD about the arrangements while BRUCE fills out the petition (backed by SUSAN of course). 

SUSAN gives a speech at TOWN HALL about seeking community when you feel alone, how bonds are made with shared experiences and feelings, and how everyone deserves to feel that sense of community no matter who you are. She encourages Magicks to have trust in one another for this program to work. 

The petition passes, a meeting room is reserved after TOWN HALL hours for discretion, SUSAN asks BRUCE to be the point person for MA (Magicks Anonymous)! 

Step 5: Everyone prospers

[vanillahub]

Things you should know before becoming a mutual  

List 10 or more things you find to be essential for your blog. Essentially, highlight your rules! Let people know what they should be aware of and expected, from you! Then tag anyone you would like to learn more from! Feel free to steal this~

You must be at least +18 years old to even follow this blog. I’m well over the +20 years old mark, I’m uncomfortable having minors around me and my blogs (agelless blogs will be softblocked). I’m also constantly delving on subjects that just aren’t suitable for any minors, so really, there’s absolutely no reason why they should be here, period.

Your blog must have: a rules page, muse’s info, a sample of your writing (I have a preference for para/lengthier replies. I don’t like heavily formatted replies, if I find myself struggling to read your stuff then I will give it a pass) and there shouldn’t have a lot of OOC/things that are unrelated to RPing (negativity, very personal stuff, political rambles, support of call out culture, heavy on the discourse side of things, etc.).

Be mindful, english isn’t my first language! While I welcome and accept help with my grammar/writing, don’t use that to your advantage, so you can spin & twist the things I say for whatever reason. I’ve had this happen to me one too many times, and I guarantee you it’s not fun.

Mun =/= muse, fiction isn't reality. If you don’t have that concept clear, and you have a hard time separating those things. Then don’t even bother coming close to me.

Fictional kins and self-inserts aren’t welcomed here. Regardless if you're an OC, or if you hide behind a canon character. I feel IMMENSELY uncomfortable with people who heavily live through their muses, due to very bad experiences in the past. I’m not here to fulfill anyone’s fantasies in that way. Don't be dodgy about it.

Be upfront about what makes you uncomfortable, establish your boundaries and don’t ever be afraid to tell me I’ve crossed a line for you whenever we are plotting/writing something. I ALWAYS ask this to all of my partners, whenever I approach anyone to get discussions going. I always ask out of genuine care, for the other. Unless you tell me I’ve screwed up, there’s no way I’ll be able to fix it or even apologize for it.

Fandoms and communities I outright refuse to interact with: MLP, Undertale, Homestuck, FNaF, FNF, Genshim Impact, League of Legends (Arcane isn't an exception), Disney and the MCU.

Things that will make me unfollow: too much unrelated stuff to RP being constantly posted, if I feel like I’m only being used as a +1 follower to your count and lastly. If I no longer can see our muses interacting, either because their developments are clashing or plotting has taken nowhere.

I preemptively block users, that rub me in the wrong way. I also softblock users, when I don’t want them following my blogs. Take the L, don’t try to reach me out through other means. And for the love of God, don’t try sending people in an attempt to score an answer for you.

I don’t do well with people, who are CONSTANTLY moving around. Every other day making new blogs then abandoning old ones, picking up new muses and every so often changing their pen names. I’ve learned how there’s no enjoyment for me get out of those folks. I really need partners who wish to stick around, for the long run.

Just because we’re mutuals, and we’ve exchanged a few messages, it doesn’t mean we are friends. It’s nothing personal, but please let things take its natural course. I’ve been in this awkward situation, one too many times over the years.

I will not dumbify or tone down my portrayals, please, avoid muses that you know will touch on subjects that are touchy or make you uncomfortable. No hard feelings.

Shipping is FUN, but that’s not my priority. I’m definetely being a lot more chill in this blog about that, compared to my other ones. But still, I take huge enjoyment out of plotting & developing my muses. As such, shipping ends up taking the backseat most of the time.

It’s pretty easy to tell when someone is trying to befriend me, in hopes of scoring freebies from me. You guys aren’t being subtle at all...

[maria-akira]

to the rescue | team trese x reader

—♡—

summary: y/n, basilio and crispin's sister, just experienced her first break-up.

warnings: some improper shifts in tenses <\3 rlly rusty at writing already aaaa. but nonetheless this fic is very fluffy! i apologize in advance for any grammatical errors you may notice, i didn't proofread this :(

yes, i kinda made alexandra fluffy too.

—♡—

"Good Morning, guys!" Basilio turned around to see his brother, Crispin, with a huge smile plastered on his face.

Basilio rolled his eyes, "Anong 'Good Morning'? Mag tatanghali na, di ka man lang nag linis!" (What do you mean 'Good Morning'? It's almost afternoon, you didn't even clean!) He playfully hit the older's head.

"Aray ko!" (Ouch!) Crispin winced and rubbed the spot his brother hit. Alexandra walks in the room with a cup of coffee in her hand. "Basilio, Mag sorry ka sa Kuya mo." (Basilio, apologize to your brother.) Basilio scoffs, "Sorry, Kuya."

They all gathered in the dining room for lunch. Well, brunch for Crispin. "Where's Y/N?" Alexandra asks, looking at the empty chair beside her. Clearly, the chair looked like it had been empty since last night. The twins stare at each other, then both at Alexandra.

"Diba may pinuntahan siya kagabi?" (Didn't she go out last night?) Alexandra mentions.

The twins both shake their head.

"Hindi niyo alam?" (You guys don't know?)

They shake their heads again.

Without a single word, the three exchanged looks and immediately stood up from their seats, rushing upstairs to Y/N's room.

Alexandra pushed the twins aside and pushed the key into the doorknob, then revealing a dishevled, puffy-eyed Y/N. The twins panicked. It was their first time seeing their beloved sister like this.

Meanwhile, Alexandra investigated her room. Y/N's things were on the floor, messed up sheets, and a broken necklace. She then looks over to Y/N. Still in her clothes, puffy-eyed, and her makeup was smuged. Alexandra already had an idea.

The twins shook her awake, "Y/N!, Y/N!— Gising na!" (Y/N, Y/N— Wake up!) With their loud voices and aggressive shaking, their sister finally woke up.

Immediately, Y/N's head started to pound— it was the alcohol she drank last night. She opened her eyes and saw Alexandra and her brothers. Upon seeing them, she bursted into tears.

—

A few months ago, Y/N dated this guy in her class. She hid this from Alexandra, most especially her brothers because she knew that they would beat her ass.

Alexandra found out about her relationship when she was about to fetch her from school. Hank and the twins were at home, sleeping their asses off after their mission.

Parked outside of Y/N's school, Alexandra was waiting for almost 30 minutes. Usually, Y/N would come out a few minutes after her dismissal— but these past few months have been different. After a few more minutes of waiting, she finally saw Y/N— with someone else.

Y/N was holding hands with a boy around 5'10 in height. They were laughing and they looked very sweet. The boy gave her a peck and she playfully pushed him away, then waving goodbye since she spotted the car.

Hank usually fetched Y/N from school, and she knew that Hank didn't really care about her relationship, so she really didn't feel embarrased whenever she entered the car.

Upon entering the car, she expected Hank to greet her. But she was greeted with Alexandra's voice.

"Boyfriend mo?" (Your boyfriend?) Alexandra looks over to her, and Y/N froze. Her first reaction was to lie about it. "Ha? H-Hindi, Ate! Friends lang kami.." (Huh? N-No! We're just friends..) Embarrased, Y/N tried to make herself busy by pretending to fix something in her bag to keep her distracted.

"Anong friends? Hinalikan ka niya, ah." (What do you mean friends? He kissed you.) She mentions.

"Ah.. Eh.." Y/N struggles to keep her words out. It was very evident.

"Sige na, di naman ako magagalit. Di ko sasabihin sa mga Kuya mo, sikreto lang natin." (It's okay, I won't get mad. I won't tell your brothers, it'll be our secret.)

"Oo.. Boyfriend ko siya, Ate. Malapit na kami mag 6 months." (Yes.. He's my boyfriend, Ate. We've been together for almost 6 months.)

From that day on, Y/N would always tell Alexandra about how her relationship was going. And though Alexandra has never had any romantical partners, she tries her best to give Y/N advice.

—

Tiptoe-ing her way downstairs, Y/N was dressed in her clothes to leave the house, on the way to party with her friends and her boyfriend, Jerome.

She checked her phone, 12:47 AM.

Everyone was most likely asleep at this hour, or so she thought.

"Oh, san ka papunta at ganyan suot mo?" (Hey, where are you going and why are you wearing that?) Y/N jolted and turned around to see Alexandra sitting on the dining table.

"Ah.. Ate.. Kasi may p-party kaming pupuntahan nila Aira.." (Ah... There's this p-party I'm going to with Aira..)

"Sina Aira lang ba? O kasama yung boyfriend mo?" (Is it just Aira? Or your boyfriend is going too?) Alexandra tilted her head in question.

"...Kasama po si Jerome." (...Jerome is coming too.)

Alexandra nodded, signalling her that it was okay for her, as an Ate, to go. "Sige, doble ingat ka, okay? Eto, dalhin mo to." (Be extra careful, okay? Here, bring this.) Alexandra pulls out a self defense keychain from her pocket and throws it at Y/N's direction. "May alarm diyan. If you're in any danger, pindutin mo yung alarm and malalaman ko location mo, pupuntahan kita kaagad." (There's an alarm there. If you're in any danger, press that alarm and I'll be able to know your location, then I'll come and get you.)

"Thanks, Ate! Mag iingat ako. Love you!" (Thanks, Ate! I'll take care. Love you!) Y/N smiled and hugged Alexandra.

Little did she know, Y/N's smile wouldn't last very long.

That night, Y/N saw her boyfriend kissing another girl across the room. She confronted him and he admitted that he had been cheating on her for the past few months. Y/N didn't know what to feel. She didn't wanna call Alexandra because she knew that she would be asleep by now. She didn't wanna talk to her friends either, so she went home.

Once she arrived home, she didn't bother to change or shower. She was so tired. Her body fell on the bed and she instantly cried. sobbing against her pillows to muffle her tears.

—

Basilio and Crispin were clueless about as to why their sister was crying. They consoled her for a few minutes until Alexandra spoke.

"Basilio, Crispin— mag usap tayo sa labas." (Basilio, Crispin— let's talk outside.) Alexandra left the room and waited for the twins to leave as well. Once they left the room, she shut the door.

The twins looked worried— well, afraid, rather.

"May sikreto kaming itinatago ni Y/N sa inyong dalawa.." (Y/N and I have a secret we've been keeping from the both of you..) Alexandra starts off.

"Ano yun, Bossing?" (What is it, Bossing?) The twins replied, obviously curious.

Alexandra knew that if she told the twins, their reaction wouldn't be as violent if it was Y/N who would be telling it instead.

"May boyfriend si Y/N." (Y/N has a boyfriend.)

The twins both drop their jaws, "Ano?!" (What?!) Basilio slaps his hand over his mouth, while Crispin is in complete shock. "Kelan pa, Bossing?" (Since when, Bossing?) Basilio asks with a hint of anger in his voice.

"2 months ago niya sinabi sakin.. Siguro 8 months silang mag jowa." (She told me 2 months ago.. Maybe they've been together for around 8 months.)

"Tangina naman!" (Motherfucker!) Crispin throws a punch to the nearest wall. Alexandra has never seen the twins react like this, especially Crispin.

There was a moment of silence.

"Nahuli ko siyang tumatakas kaninang 12, nag paalam sakin na may pupuntahan na party, kasama boyfriend niya." (I caught her sneaking out earlier at 12, she asked my permission if she could go to a party with her boyfriend.)

"Bat di niyo kami ginising, bossing?" (Why didn't you wake us up, Bossing?) Basilio sighs, "Ayaw niya na malaman nyo na may boyfriend siya, kasi alam niya na magagalit kayo." (She didn't want you guys to find out that she had a boyfriend, because she knew that you guys would get mad.)

"Malamang, bunso namin 'yan eh! Alangan naman pabayaan namin 'yan diba? Eh hindi pa nga namin kilala boyfriend nyan!" (Of course we would get mad, she's our baby sister! Do you think we'd let her get away just like that? We haven't even met her boyfriend yet!" Crispin rambles.

"Mabait naman yung boyfriend niya." (Her boyfriend is kind.) Alexandra defends, "Bossing, 'di naman po yun sapat para ma kumbinsi nyo po kami na pwede po siya magkajowa.." (Bossing, that isn't a sufficient reason to convince us that it's okay for her to have a boyfriend..) Basilio says calmly, but deep down? He was screaming.

Alexandra ignores Basilio's statement, "Ano naman kinaiiyakan niya?" (What is she crying about?) Crispin managed to say despite the emotions he felt about the situation. Alexandra lets out a sigh, "Nag break na siguro sila." (Maybe they broke up.)

"Tangina, sabi ko na nga ba eh." (I fucking knew it.) Crispin mumbles under his breath, while running his fingers through his hair out of frustration.

"Yung sirang necklace na nasa sahig kanina, bigay yun ng boyfriend niya sa kanya. Hula ko, sinira niya kasi break na sila." (The broken necklace on the floor, her boyfriend gave that to her. My guess is that she broke it because they broke up.)

"Anong gagawin natin, Bossing?" (What are we going to do, Bossing?) Basilio asks her, desperate for a solution.

Alexandra wasn't the type to arrange surprises, so she had to think fast.

"Basilio, bumili ka ng Jollibee. Tapos ikaw Crispin, bumili ka ng ice cream. Yung favorite flavor niya ah?" (Basilio, go buy some Jollibee. Then you Crispin, buy some ice cream. Her favorite flavor okay?) Alexandra commands. Even in this situation, the twins had no choice to obey. "Sige po, bossing." (Yes, bossing.) They replied with no hesitation.

—

Crispin was the first one to come back with the ice cream, since the sari-sari store was just by the corner of their street. Obviously, Basilio took the longest— he had to take a tricycle to the nearest Jollibee.

After a few minutes, Basilio arrived with 2 bags of Jollibee. "Antagal mo naman, natunaw na yung ice cream." (Took you long enough, the ice cream already melted.) Crispin complains, rolling his eyes playfully.

"Bat di mo nilagay sa freezer? Parang timang 'to eh." (Why didn't you put it in the freezer? What a dumbass.) Basilo replies, settling the food on the table. Alexandra enters the room, "Andito na pala kayo. Halika na." (You guys are already here. Let's go.)

"Ano bang gagawin natin, bossing?" (What are we going to do anyway, bossing?) Basilio scratches his head out of confusion. "Malamang isusurprise natin." (Of course we're gonna surprise her.) Crispin replies sarcastically. He was still mad about what happened.

The trio went upstairs, Basilio and Crispin carrying the ice cream and Jollibee. Alexandra knocked on Y/N's door. "Bunso?" She says in a loving voice. No reply on the other side of the room. Maybe she went back to sleep again. "Papasok kami ng mga kuya mo ah?" (Your brothers and I will enter okay?) Alexandra turns the doorknob open.

Y/N turns around to see her Ate and Kuyas enter her room quietly, "Ate Alex.." She croaks out, "May dala kami ng mga kuya mo para sayo.." (Your brothers and I brought some food for you..) Alexandra gestures to the food that the twins bought. Y/N sits up from her current position, rubbing her eyes.

Basilio frowns and sets the food on her study table, then sitting beside her on the bed. "Halika nga.." (Come here..) Basilio takes his beloved sister into his arms, caressing her back to calm her sobs. "K-Kuy-ya.." She manages to say inbetween sobs, but Basilio hushes her and rocks her softly.

Alexandra elbows Crispin, who is still standing by the door. "Alam kong galit ka sa amin, pero yakapin mo naman kapatid mo." (I know that you're mad at the both of us, but go hug your sister.) Crispin realizes this and sighs. He walks over to Y/N and Basilio, who are both still locked in an embrace. Y/N felt the other side of the bed sink, she pulls herself away from the hug and turns to face Crispin.

Crispin had a disappointed yet concerned look on his face. Without any words, he pulls her into his chest, enveloping her into a hug. Y/N was sobbing like crazy. Her brothers have never seen her like this, ever. They didn't know how to react. They tried to calm her down— Crispin was still hugging her, caressing her back, while Basilio brushed her hair.

Alexandra sat on the farther edge of the bed, giving the siblings their space. Once Y/N calmed down, Alexandra spoke. "Gusto mo ba ikwento samin yung nangyari..?" (Are you comfortable telling us about what happened..?)

Y/N wipes her tears, "Nakita ko si Jerome na may ka halikan na iba-a.. T-ta—" (I saw Jerome kissing someone else-e.. T-th—) She sobs, unable to form her sentence properly.

Basilio caresses her back to help her calm down, "Dahan-dahan lang, bunso.. Hinga ka lang.." (Slowly, bunso.. Just breathe..)

Crispin frowns, "—Tapos kinausap ko siya sa labas nung venue.. Matagal na daw siyang nag ch-cheat sa akin.." (—Then I talked to him outside.. He's been cheating on me for a long t-time..)

Crispin's eyes almost bulged out of his eye sockets out of shock, Basilio's mouth hung open, and Alexandra's eyebrows raised.

"Ha?!?" The three said.

Y/N nodded hesitantly.

"Aba tangina pala ng Jerome na yan eh! Ano ba itsura nyan?" (Well fuck that son of a bitch Jerome! What does he even look like?) Crispin retorts, Alexandra grabs Y/N's phone from the floor and hands it to her. Y/N searches for a somewhat decent picture of her now ex-boyfriend on her phone, and once she did, she showed her brothers.

Jerome wasn't too good looking, he wasn't too bad looking either. He was okay— or saks lang, some would say.

"Panget naman niyan, panget din siguro ka bonding." (He's ugly, he probably isn't fun to bond with.) Basilio jokes, "Gago oo nga, ang panget. Mas pogi pa kami ng kuya mo diyan eh! Masaya pa kami ka bonding." (Damn, he is ugly. Your brother and I are more handsome than that guy! We're fun to bond with too.) Crispin strikes a pose, which made his sister smile.

Alexandra looks at the picture, then giving a disapproving look at her. "Ang panget nga. Pumangit ba siya? Di naman ganyan itsura nyan nung nakita ko." (I agree, he is ugly. Did he get uglier? He didn't look like that when I met him.) The three siblings laugh.

"Uuuy, ngumiti na siya! Yieee!" (Ooo, she's smiling!) Basilio teases her, poking her side. Crispin joins in and starts tickling her side and neck. Y/N tried to hide her laughter, but she failed. "Kuya Crispin— Kuya Basilio! Tama na!" (Kuya Crispin— Kuya Basilio! Stop it!) She giggles, then Basilio and Crispin finally stop.

"Halika na, kain na tayo ng Jollibee! May ice cream din!" (Come, let's eat Jollibee! There's ice cream too!) Basilio stands up to get the food from her table, Crispin and Alexandra help him set up the food.

"Nood tayo ng movie!" (Let's watch a movie!) Y/N suggests, Crispin and Basilio agreeing. "Anong movie, bunso?" (What movie, bunso?) Basilio asks, "Horror nalang." (Let's watch horror.) Y/N flashes a devilish smirk, because she knew that her brothers were afraid.

Alexandra walks over to her and gives her food, then sitting beside her. "Thank you, Ate!" Y/N flashes Alexandra a smile. The twins follow after Alexandra, sitting on the farther end of the bed with their food in hand.

Y/N turns on the TV to find a horror movie to watch, then she clicks on a random one just for fun. "Ano plot neto?" (What's the plot of this movie?) Basilio says while chewing, "Ewan ko Kuya.. Kinlick ko lang yan eh." (I don't know, Kuya. I just clicked on it.) Y/N shrugs, eating a spoonful of rice.

—

The rest of the day went great. After the movie, the trio stayed in Y/N's room all day. They played games, watched weird documentaries, and karaoke.

"Happy ka na?" (Are you happy now?) Alexandra asks Y/N as they watched the twins sing a duet.

Y/N smiled. At that moment, she realized that she was more than thankful to have two crazy twin brothers, and a sister that would always be there for her.

"Yup, Happy na ako. Thank you, Ate." (Yup, I'm happy now. Thank you, Ate.)

—♡—

o diba sabi ko sa inyo cute to 😴 i apologize if my translations are somewhat inaccurate! i tried my best to translate it well :((

*for the non-filo readers:

Kuya: what you call a guy/male sibling who is typically older than you. (ex. Kuya Crispin)

Ate: what you call a girl/female sibling who is typically older than you. (ex. Ate Alex)

Bunso: used by older family members as a nickname for the younger members of the family. (Bunso means the youngest member of the family)

no tags bc i dont have filo trese moots yet <\3

—♡—

also, i'm opening my requests for trese! i'll be keeping my requests for ahs and gotham closed for the mean time.

*UPDATE AS OF JUNE 29, 2021:

hi!! i have recieved an overwhelming amount of trese reqs! i am very grateful for each one. pleasr expect more trese content! <3

[rpbetter]

I'm a novella roleplayer who writes long-term threads. Since this is very rare on tumblr, I've noticed that many muns are intimidated or put off by how much I write, how much information there is on my muse, and other things inherent to long-term roleplay. People have even told me outright, "I'm intimidated by you". But I do wonder if there's another component besides, well, just the amount of writing I do. Maybe there's a way to negate some of this by using certain techniques, wording, etc in my rules and overall presentation. Do you have any advice on how to reduce how intimidating I seem, even with the amount of writing I do? Any particular things I should avoid? And at what point should I just not worry about it, because it's out of my control?

Hello, Anon! Thank you very much for this question, I think it's a discussion many could benefit from. That should probably be head's up for everyone that this is going to get long, yes.

People have also told me, outright, that they're "intimidated," and I know that's something my writing partners have been told as well. It's also something that seems to be a common statement toward novella roleplayers in particular, and one's chance of having it said increases with factors such as being a long-term RPer, particularly good vocabulary, visible skill with writing, and indeed, having a muse you've dedicated obvious time to developing - made obvious in not only the amount of information available on your muse but also in your confidence about that muse.

I honestly do not think most people who say this any more realize that it's a little offensive than they know precisely what it is they are trying to tell you. Regardless, it makes it a bit hard to know what you're doing, if it's actually something wrong, is it something you can or should change, or is it just another case of being the minority in the RPC, therefore, having more muns out there that you're not suited to writing with? No one knows, because it's vague!

So, I’m additionally going to beg everyone out there to not say this. Please, if you find yourself categorizing another RPer as “intimidating,” do everyone a favor and consider what is making you feel this way, even if you never tell them this. Eventually, you will tell someone, and if you’ve thought on it already, you’ll be better able to express yourself in a way that is neither offensive nor vague. If you do tell someone they are “intimidating,” expand on it and be specific. Tell them whether it is the length, writing style, the mun OOC, it’ll be very helpful. You needn’t be shitty about it, just honest and polite.

Try: “I’m not confident enough to write with you, I don’t feel like I’m capable of writing that much, or that well, but I would love to keep following so I can read it!”

You’ve not been offensive at all, but have told them what your difficulty is. You’ve also kept this a you problem, not a them problem. When we tell people they are “intimidating,” that is a negative connotation that implies they are doing something wrong. We've made it a Them Problem. Maybe there is something they could work on, but your feelings over perceived limitations aren’t their problem. They can’t change the way you feel about yourself and your writing in contrast to theirs. By saying it this way, it’s still clear that you don’t think this will work out, you’ve told them why, and you’ve done it without projecting responsibility.

Alright, sorry, just in case anyone out there who says this and isn’t immediately turned off by the length of this reads it.

As I said, I've been told this as well, when it seemed like a mun that would be alright with me asking for specifics, I have. Unfortunately, they couldn't describe those specifics in any more detailed terms. I'm not saying this to shame anyone's capacity to describe their impressions or wishes, sometimes even the best writers aren't good at expressing themselves more personally. I'm just saying that a clearer description wasn't possible, and that I am taking this from what has been expressed by these people and others in limited ways, directly stated or vented about vaguely.

The length appears to be the predominating issue.

"It's just a lot," "I feel like I'd miss things in it," "intense," and "I like quicker back and forth" are some of the major points that have been made to or around me. They're the first and primary things that are mentioned, and they all deal with the length (though, the intensity thing also deals with the writing itself).

As you already know, as a novella RPer and how unpopular that is, the length is usually an issue, yes. Let me rephrase that - it is an issue that is a part of the vague descriptor of being "intimidating," I do not feel that lengthy RP itself is a problem! Just the problem that some muns are having with seeing you as a viable, approachable RP partner.

Looking at someone's writing is something I always highly advise doing while looking for new partners, but I believe that our writing as novella RPers can obscure it for some when they're not actively a writing partner yet, thus, not involved in it. I enjoy reading threads I am not a part of, and since everyone I write with is also novella, that means I'm essentially reading short stories every time I do - that's not typical. Most people just see Wall of Text in a novella thread they're not involved in.

It's kind of a seeing the individual trees in a forest situation, and might not have anything to do with the mun's potential interest or viability as a partner. I mean, I doubt you're looking to engage interest of short multi-para or one-line muns, since that isn't your preferred writing type and yours is not theirs. So, you're likely looking at the few and far between other novella and any lengthier multi-para muns. So, it's not going to be an issue of simply being novella, thus immensely overwhelming and not their thing. It's more likely to be that your novella is particularly lengthy, and again, they're not yet involved in it. They’re seeing a task, not the fun engagement of it yet.

I know that I've had several mid to lengthier multi-para muns approach me wanting to write, they're usually interested specifically in beginning to move toward doing novella. They also see the fruits of these great storylines, OOC friendships, and in-thread relationships on the dash, not the building that went into them. The expectation is different from the reality, and once they start receiving my replies, that can quickly turn overwhelming. They've now got something on their hands that has been too lengthy for other, established novella writers, and it's all at the beginning still with the muses.

This is when I tend to get that I'm intimidating from people who have begun to write with me, and I think it is telling of the Wall of Text problem with partners you've not gained yet, too. The problem of how they're viewing the writing is that they do not see things within it that are immediately, and easily, engaging to them specifically.

The people I referenced, they're having the same problem. Our muses do not know each other, there is no established connection of animosity or affection, no "dynamic" to fuel their replies. When looking at a lengthy novella reply and trying to judge interest in writing with the mun, they're naturally not going to see that either, since it doesn't exist yet.

And it might not exist at all.

I want to be clear to everyone that I am not saying one needs to write in a way that is not enjoyable to them, I'm just guessing at problems based on the majority of the RPC's interests and what I have been told over the years, a lot of years. Like, no one come at me about forcing anyone to write anything, or being acephobic or something fucking nuts, thanks!

People are really, really into the romantic ships. I do not care what the RPC says because it knows it's the right thing to say lol if it wasn't true, it wouldn't be a huge, and totally observable as true, problem that characters who are hard to ship with or do not ship are passed over. Regardless of beautiful writing, engaging muses, and incredible worldbuilding, they're passed over because they're not a ship partner in the waiting.

So, it's quite possible that if you do not have threads in which there are observable ships, muns are seeing the Wall of Text because there's nothing that grabs at their particular interests. I don't even just mean smut, either. I've found that far more muns than there used to be are willing to not write that, but they still want the ships.

You might be a RPer who does not do shipping at all, has a difficult to ship with muse, or who simply does not place this as a priority in your own interests. There is nothing wrong with either direction of this preference! It’s alright for people to have preferences, even if they can feel annoying to us because they’re leaving us out, or we genuinely just do not get the thrill. It’s totally okay for people to not be interested in shipping, or not place a particularly high value on it, and more muns than the RPC realizes feel this way. It’s as unpopular, and far more limiting, take on RP as being here openly only for them is. There’s nothing wrong with you as a writer or a person if you don’t write ships and smut, but it is the opposite of many people’s interests here. This would be something you can’t control, yeah. It’s still good to know as a part of the puzzle!

They see a lot of things they do not have any instant feelings about and/or what they perceive as interaction points. As, unfortunately, the predominant mode of writing here is reactive, and in brutal honesty, often self-interested. It's not rewarding to many muns in this RPC to build stories cooperatively together for the sake of those stories and love of the muses, they require putting their muse on display, having impassioned interactions through that muse's reactions.

So, you might be writing the most vivid scenes, the most beautiful character study, and letting your muse be a fleshed out, realistic person, but they're seeing "I can't react to this."

Which is, by the way, bullshit. Not just that it's bullshit as a way to try to write together, it's also bullshit in that you can react to anything. You can react to, literally, nothing. If you're muse has said not a word to mine for an entire reply, not physically interacted with them, they're just sitting there in a chair staring off into space (also not a great way to write, but I'm giving an extreme example) the whole time, I can react to that.

To be fair, my primary muse is really uh, busy, let's say lol it does make him both incredibly easy to interact with and very easy to generate natural reactions from. And that might also be a problem people are having...

Your muse is quiet.

They're the opposite of someone who is physically or verbally “busy.” They think more than they move or speak, they remain at emotional, verbal, and physical distances from others. The quiet, and still, type on the outside.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I love reading a muse's internal processes because I'm approaching this as a reader as much as I am a writer. It doesn't need to be something my muse can know or react to for me to enjoy it, I want to enjoy your muse, other people's muses are part of the joy of RP for me. And not just in what I might achieve having mine interact with them. There are muses mine very, very much did not work out with that I have continued to enjoy the stories of for years without writing with them!

But that's me. And I'm weird.

A lot of people are going to look at the sort of writing, particularly when not involved with it yet, and see...Words. Maybe they don't find them boring or any such thing, but they can't so easily envision themselves responding to it with the sort of vigor required to reply with length in kind. It's again the same dual issue going on that might just be making your writing difficult to approach.

It might be legitimately daunting, and might be more so if...

You're well-written.

One would think this would be a boon to written roleplay, but I haven't seen it be that in a long time. On tumblr, that has weirdly come to signify "elitism."

It's not just more legitimately intimidating for some out there because they feel they cannot write as well as you, might appear lacking or boring, end up dropped because of it. No, of course not! It's tumblr, where decent behavior as well as logic comes to die! It's because they've gotten the idea that you might be shitty to them because you posses more experience, skill, or innate talent with writing.

That's not helped when every time someone is told on any basis at all, in any manner at all, or one has any existent expectations for RPing that someone else might take issue with as though they're being forced to comply with them instead of not interacting, people freak out and call it elitism. Since most people who choose to be mutuals only and as such, are going to have to decline sometimes, are also those who are lengthier RPers...we're all categorized as Elitists.

People see what works for us as different kinds of RPers as something that is in opposition to them, and judgement of them. We can’t have scores of active partners when we write ten thousand word or more replies to everyone, it doesn’t work for us, and that doesn’t mean we think you’re an awful RPer for doing this differently than we do. We’re just exercising boundaries that are necessary for the way we enjoy it. Like how much length in return, literacy, and dedication we’re going to give and expect in return. It isn’t passing judgement, but when you want to write with a particular portrayal and they’re limited threads, mutuals only, novella and it shuts you out of the interaction, it’s easy to agree with the posts you’ve seen condemning differences of choice as elitist and hateful.

While you'd hope that people would exercise their own judgement, with the way that the RPC is so often on edge, you can't entirely blame people for being willing to believe they can identity a potential source of unpleasantness to avoid. As wild as it is, that includes people within the novella community. Your OOC is too well-spoken, your writing is too well-written? Might be an elitist. Even while they write much the same way as you do without realizing it!

I think when most people say someone here is "intimidating," it's not exactly what they mean, but for others, it's more literal than it is literary.

If you have any reason to believe this might be part of the issue, while I would never advise anyone to alter their writing to be something they personally feel is lesser than what they're capable of, you might want to consider a greater air of the casual in any OOC posts you make. Try to be as approachable there as you can - so long as that doesn't mean lying about it, of course! If we're genuinely not that gregarious or socially open, we shouldn't act like that's the case. That sets up one party with expectations that are neither true nor going to prove anything but frustrating to the other party.

I've had some success with that! And, even at my most casual, I'm not the most approachable of people lol I come off as rather intense, kind of aggressive, way too salty, curses flow from me like water during a monsoon, interspersed with...well, things like "interspersed." So, if I've seen success with that, it's possible that muns who are more genuinely gregarious, chill, and verbally polite people might see it as well!

It seems to be a case of allowing other muns the opportunity to see that you, yourself, are not frightening. You're just a person like they are, and a person who isn't going to be hateful to them if they are not perfect writers or perfectly on your level of writing. When that is apparent, approaching the writing itself is more openly done - yes, this mun has a grasp on description/dialogue/vocabulary/descriptive scenes that I do not, but they don't aggressively think they're the shit for it, so, it's safe for me to try to interact.

The Wall of Words that was once a poster for how badly they might be treated is now a collection of RP replies.

Write for the partners you want to attract.

Again, I do not want anyone to stop writing in the way they enjoy! However, what we put out is also what we attract to a large degree. It could be that your writing is an attractant for only a very small portion of the RPC, and it already is, by virtue of being both novella and the sort of novella it is.

That's very easy to do anyway, but even more so if we have few partners to write with. What we have on display is minimal, it might not have the range we're actually capable of, and therefore, might not be attracting that range of muns.

This is something I have experienced as well, though it was a little different a situation. Upon first writing RP on tumblr, I couldn't find anyone writing novella. I could barely find anyone doing short multi-para. Just as I'd find it inappropriate for someone approaching me to insist that I do one-line RP because it's what they do, I didn't find it appropriate to force novella on these muns. That's what I agreed to by interacting with them, after all! It isn't what I enjoy doing, however, it's harder for me to write short replies, so, I was consistently on the lookout for novella partners.

Those novella partners couldn't exactly see decades of my lengthy RPs, though, since they didn't take place on tumblr. They could only see the current threads, which were all quite short and rather limited in range of action, tone, muse interaction, and so on. Basically, just about whatever someone was willing to give me, and those things were pretty similar. I couldn't exactly blame potential partners for looking at this "resume" and thinking that I just thought I wanted to write novella, but was capable of neither that nor the sort of stories I wished to create.

Since I couldn't find partners to organically give me these different things, I wrote them sans partners. Much of this was in headcanon form, showing that I had spent quite a long time thinking about my canon character as more than was presented in canon only, as well as showing that I could string more than a paragraph together, but it seems like you've got the muse information down, so this might not be the best direction for you.

That might be the other thing I wrote to this end: one shots.

Especially as I do not do open starters as someone who requires some plotting, these served as a way of allowing various situations to be displayed in which other muns could better see what interacting with my muse was actually like. They could see that this truly is the way I'd prefer to write, this is a better display of my muse under various conditions and emotions, and this is how interacting with my muse as this or that type of person might go.

I don't know if you have a canon, OC, or multiples of both, but it also seemed to be helpful that I took canon events people might be familiar with and wrote snippets of them from my muse's perspective - yes, even if they were already in those events, it shows your unique portrayal. People like that for the same reason they like fanfic, a dozen people can write a canon event and give you a dozen different takes on it. It meant that they'd be more likely to read it at all, too, let's be honest.

If you have an OC, you can flesh out a fandom-specific verse they have by writing such a one shot revolving around a fandom event. I'd say not to directly insert your OC into a major canon event, but if you're going to anyway, be sure you are giving realistic changes that might occur with this character's presence in that event. Not going overboard and making them the thing that saves the day, not just having them there in the midst of some great cataclysm miraculously surviving to bear witness only. It's still my advice to place them within that world and have them aware of an event.

Something like...trying to think of a fandom and event the most people would be familiar with here...your OC is in the MCU or has a verse there, they're employed as a police officer with the NYPD - tell me what they did at work the day of the invasion in New York City in the 2012 Avengers. Did they see superheroes in the distance while they and their fellow officers were engaged in a situation they were in no way equipped to handle? And how did your OC feel about that?

That sort of thing.

If it's a canon, try to think of a situation that isn't represented among your current threads, but that is also going to be of interest potential partners. If you have few threads showing your muse in friendship with another, find something in their canon that does. No threads with much action, go for that. Show an aspect of your muse that was present when they were younger, but that is downplayed in them now. Show some things that will be new information from your unique portrayal, and do all of this while displaying your range as a writer - you can be more serious or more fun, can destroy someone with angst or make them hope a ship works out well.

This way, you're showing people what all they might get, not just what you've been given to work with. That can go a long way toward negating feelings of "intimidation" if all they're seeing is you doing one thing extremely well, so well that they feel they cannot compete with it. So, yeah, write the things you feel you're not good at, too! It puts people at ease to see you're not perfect either.

As regards rules...

Oh, boy...lmao with no intent to inflame anyone's righteousness here, so long as your rules are conveying what you feel they should, they're fine. I'm not going to say that rules cannot be a turn off, that you shouldn't find a voice that is clear, polite, and when it needs to be, firm. It's simply that you do not come off as someone who needs to be told that, Anon. If you're worried about how your rules might sound, they're almost certainly fine.

However, rules are the way they are for a reason - if you feel like you're coming off as too strict, harsh, whatever, there might be a reason why that was your first inclination. If you remake them to be softer, are you going to run into the same problems that caused you to harden them before?

I know, you're trying to attract people and downplay a notion of being "intimidating," but it's important to realize that, short of either finding a way to please everyone who comes across them or telling everyone to do whatever they please, you have no opinions, expectations, or needs, you're going to put people off. I've seen people be incredibly offended by the nicest of rules simply because they were rules. They were still clearly stated boundaries that did not align with what was desired.

For example, if I were to have in my RP rules the following:

My rules are basically just have fun and don't be a dick! This is just a hobby, I'm not paying you.

That's going to turn some people off and anger them because that's, firstly, incredibly vague, secondly, the latter part has become seriously negative.

If I were to have in my RP rules this:

I have a lot of detailed rules because I want to only write with people who will be as dedicated to it as I am, I'd rather we know now than later that we're not a good match before anyone is disappointed or offended!

That's going to turn some people off and anger them because it is contrary to the way they view and partake in the hobby. To these people, it'll come off as ridiculous expectations that are aggressive despite the wording not being so.

The point is, because this is a hobby dependent upon interacting with other people, there is a lot that is out of your control.

I probably should have done a better segue to this, but hey - most of this is out of your control.

By its very nature of individuals interacting, what is "intimidating" means different things to everyone. What I find to be that, isn't going to be what you find to be so. You can't know what someone, let alone everyone who says this, means by it in order to make those changes.

Some of those changes are a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation, like the rules.

Other changes are undesirable. You, obviously, cannot RP without partners, but it's no good making changes that will see the partners you won't work with being added, or that will ruin the things you enjoy about RP. If changing your writing style is going to do that, don't do it. If opening up new types of plots is going to do so, don't do it. Anything that is going to excessively give you stress or personal disappointment isn't a change you should make. That’s the sort of shit that was meant by it being “just a hobby” in the beginning - you’re not obliged to make yourself miserable like you are at a job sometimes, and you aren’t beholden to the standards of a professional author unless you wish to be.

It's wonderful that you're addressing this problem from the perspective of what you can do! The idea of changing much of anything is a negative one to many people. They have to be carefully approached to even consider that as a possibility, and once they do, it's more often than not that the reaction is volatile. We never think we're perfect until someone so much as loosely implies we might need work on something. So, your willingness and interest in what you can do to fix something nebulous is both incredible and a credit to how approachable you probably are in all actuality.

It bodes really well, is what I'm saying lol or...it would, if this were not the environment that it is. One in which people do react with volatility to anything that does not go exactly and immediately the way they desire. Including wanting to interact with a particular muse, then seeing that the mun doesn't write in their preferred style, length, or with their desired topics.

Many times, that's really what is meant by "intimidating." It isn't truly that they're afraid of you or your writing, but rather, that they're not getting exactly what they think they want, in the way they want, on the timeline they want. But they don't want to be offensive, they're walking on eggshells like most everyone is when telling someone, "I'm sorry, but I don't think we'll work out" is tantamount to personally attacking them.

So, giving what they feel is a compliment that still shuts down the possibility of someone trying to push for interaction anyway, that becomes the best approach. They're not giving you specifics because no, they may not even know those specifics, it might just be the feeling your writing gives them, but they're also not giving them when they have them because they don't want to be unfairly taken to task for the crime of being honest with you. After all, when we don't know someone OOC yet, we don't know that they're a reasonable person. Telling someone, "I like what you're doing, I love your muse, but the tone of your writing isn't something I can reply to, it's just too different," might have them defensively putting words in your mouth.

As I said, asking someone for details didn't get me very far. I've had to try to piece together what "intimidating" means to many different people over the years by what they tell me in conversations away from the mun they said was thus more than anything. So, don't expect that you'll get much either, but next time someone tells you this, if they seem like someone who won't take as you pressing for interaction and react badly, ask them to give you specifics. Tell them you'd like to know what makes you intimidating to them so that you can work on it, that it would really help you out to know. Make it about them helping you, not declining you.

Just going off of the only writing I have from you, which is definitely not sufficient (if you'd like, you can always submit a portion of your in character writing or tumblr message me some of it so that I might be able to be more effective) since it's both short and OOC, I'd say people might feel that you're not...relaxed? Not entirely the word I am looking for, I apologize! But something in that vein!

It doesn't come off like you're frighteningly or excessively official to me, but knowing tumblr, I can see it. Because you are quite well-spoken, and even in this casual format, you are displaying good grammar and principle. Fifteen years ago, I might have also felt something like “intimidated" by you!

Like everywhere, tumblr is full of educational snobbery. Which is insane, considering it's also full of crimes against writing that make me want to rip my hair out, but anyway...the mark of being authoritative is to display one's intellect the only way we truly can here - by suddenly out writing everyone. If we're already establishing ourselves as well-spoken muns, we've laid the foundation of being capable of utterly destroying someone publicly by shaming them on a core level.

Tumblr is also full of people who are not at a point of life experience, and the writing experience accrued within it, to use what they've learned in the higher education the majority have or are presently obtaining. It's easy for younger people to feel pre-offended by someone who writes with more skill and confidence than they do. They've bought into the notion of such validations of superiority, but they can't quite lay those down upon themselves yet, or see that they’re capable of this and it doesn’t make them an elitist, so, it’s absurd to assume everyone else is on the same pretext.

Please, everyone here under, like, 25, I'm not shaming you. I've obviously long internalized it as well! When I'm angry, I don't become less articulate, I become more so. That probably says something unpleasant about how well I understand this problem. So, don't be offended. It's a societal problem, we're all impacted by it. It just takes a little bit to realize these things is what I'm saying here. Not that you're dumb and malicious because you're young and learning.

With this in mind, it's very possible that some younger muns, or muns who have otherwise been given cause to feel they are lesser than you because of your proper writing, might be intimidated by it. Part of that is also that proper writing, and verbal speech, can come off as lacking warmth. It can be impersonal, give fewer clues as to someone's tone when that's already lacking in writing that isn't descriptive, as in an RP thread itself.

Again, I always have a bit of an issue recommending someone change something vital about themselves, and one's mode of writing is that. However, you might want to consider giving way to some indicators of not being official in your OOC behavior toward others. It's something that I did, something I will admit I still struggle with as well. I'm not naturally inclined to add things like a :) or a xD because I have some problems conveying those things either correctly or organically in person. If I'm not either, literally, acting or feeling something intensely, I'm the grand master of resting bitch face no matter what I'm feeling.

As a quick on-the-safe-side interruption: people, please, I am aware that some forms of neurodivergence can exhibit in struggles with understanding and conveying tone, as can be the side effect of some medications and physical conditions. It’s possible that you have this difficulty, Anon, it’s possible that some of the people you have approached do. Advising how to work on understanding and conveying tone with these difficulties in mind is a huge post of its own, however. (Though, if people might be interested in it, I can add it to the list, of course.) All we can do is try our best, work on it, and if we know we have this issue, politely warn partners in your rules so they know you’re not coming off less emotive and warm intentionally. You’re not thinking yourself in an ivory tower above them. I so do not want to be bitched at about how advising someone in ways to be more approachable in text is ableist, just don’t. I don’t know you, Anon, so I don’t know what difficulties you may or may not have, if you do have some complication that is impacting this in your own opinion, please, just send another ask and I can work with that information more specifically!

It's also...it grates on my nerves when people text speak, I'm not going to lie. So, forcing myself to do anything too close to it feels like someone has separated the halves of my brain. I do it because it can make people more comfortable, I don't sound like a damn robot like I easily can when trying to explain something with a lot of specifics, for example.

What was easier was letting go of the inhibition of writing conversationally. That is always something that is advised against intensely, it isn't proper writing. Don't write like you speak, and all that. It's often been my inclination to write conversationally, even if I struggled to let the hell go and actually do it, and when I allowed myself to do so, people responded to it much better. It's something I get compliments on as a part of what can make my storytelling immersive, humorous, relatable, and frightening. (Just so that the last bit there isn't confounding - in addition to the professional writing that sometimes pays for my internet, I write horror lol...now y'all know! I deal in "freak shit," I'm sure.)

People responded to me much better. I still get that my writing is intimidating, but it tends to be over length and wording more than being wholly unapproachable. Too like trying to respond to a novel that most people would only listen to if it was about a character they were deeply into and read by an actor they were also deeply into. There seems to be a more natural engagement with the material for more people this way.

I'm only using this as an example of something I found that worked to some degree in making me more approachable, meant to say that there might be something that you would enjoy, unique to yourself, that would make your writing more approachable for more muns. I'm in no way recommending that you, or anyone else, try to go with what I did! That isn't going to work out for everyone, of course. It isn't everyone's solution in those specifics, just the idea that following what people have expressed they especially enjoy about your writing could be a good path.

Other things to consider:

When you have obtained a new partner who says this not in declining further interaction, but within a conversation or one of those interaction memes, especially if you are writing them a starter at this time, experiment with what you can do in your writing that makes it more approachable. I say “experiment” because this is another point of individuality, it's naturally going to vary like everything else.

Like I said above a few times, most people approach RP in terms of reaction. And, again too, that's part of RP. I didn't say it earlier because I felt like that was obvious, but after considering...how tumblr is, I probably should say it. It is necessary to have things to react to in order to build the interaction between muses and their world. I believe in the “yes, and” method and having things to react to. My meaning by saying that people approach RP in terms of reactions was that people excessively do so. Their muses have trouble existing fully in their own right sometimes, they literally require multiple points of possible reaction.

So, give it to them while you’re figuring each other’s writing out.

When you're writing your starter or replies, give them what I call Actionable Points in unexpected places. For example, when your muse is doing as I said earlier, sitting in their chair, having Deep Thoughts they're not expecting any action within, give them something in the environment itself to interact with. Perhaps there is a pet, an insect, temperature change, or sound for their muse to notice.

He was still, as though the animating force of his very soul had flown. So entrapping were his thoughts that the ladybug making its way across the floor, technically before his eyes, escaped notice. No notice, even as it briefly took flight like a tiny, skipping stone across water, headed for where his attention would truly prefer to light as well.

Which would be, of course, the other muse in the room. They can't interact with the things in your muse's mind that you're revealing to the mun, but they can have their attention jump to the insect. They can also react to your muse’s facial expressions, most people make micro-expressions even while in thought, but this isn’t as active or available.

Just small, simple possibilities that make no difference to the immediate happenings in the thread. They can become things of great difference, that's half the fun of it! How something like a bug can alter the course of a thread's trajectory is really cool to see happen.

By doing this, feeding multiple Actionable Points into the reply, you're giving someone who feels intimidated by the thread's length and weight more points to feel active within it. If they can see themselves interactively within the text of the story, it's less intimidating I've found.

Eventually, people relax and start creating these points for themselves. They're now part of this story and its direction, so they organically see things within it. While their muse is in the room with the Chair Muse, they notice a ladybug on the floor themselves because they feel comfortable and confident enough to create that sort of realistic moment.

Most of my experiments of this nature have had that objective - make my writing partner feel more confident about their writing, muse, themselves. It either works out wonderfully, or...you can spoon-feed some people actions, ideas, and confidence forever without them ever taking up the spoon themselves (some people will totally miss the spoon every time, even). At the latter point, if they're still feeling unconfident about writing with you, "intimidated," it's never going to change. It might be better that this be addressed as something that simply isn't going to work out for either of you.

Because it can become tiresome to do this. Tiresome and disheartening, and you never want to set yourself up to feel like you've wasted your effort and energy. That's a great way to experience burnout and frustration.

Another thing to make yourself, and by nature of that, your writing, more approachable and available is to put out a decent variety of memes for people to send you and engaging in tagging games. Not only do these not need to be writing memes like starters, it's better that they are not! If someone is intimidated by you/your writing, they're not going to engage with a meme meant to begin a thread.

Reblog memes that are meant to be answered OOC like headcanon asks, writing asks, and asks about the mun. Do tag games with tests in them, bolding aesthetics or other information, and those that give details about the muse...or even yourself, there are Munday versions as well!

The point of doing this is to show people you want to interact with them, neither you nor your writing is scary and removed from the vox populi of the RPC. You're not someone with so much skill that you're above such common pursuits. You're just another RPer with the same things of interest as they do - enjoying yourself whether it's something silly like a quiz that tells you what coffee your muse would be or an in-depth headcanon. Just another mun who loves their muse and wants interactions with them.

This, too, is something I tried, and it might have been the most successful thing I did. It's even easier to do these days, as more muns don't just tag people outright, but rather, offer that anyone can take it, they just want to be tagged back so they can see the results. You don't have to wait for someone who neither knows you nor knows whether you'd be alright with being tagged to tag you in them anymore!

And as an aside, this is why I encourage that. I've seen some muns out there taking issue with it, thinking it lazy and less interactive for people to be forgoing tagging others in it. Yes, it is unfortunate that you might miss such a game from a mutual or friend, but you do realize you can go to their blog anytime? You can search their tag for these kinds of dash games, or scroll what you missed while you were away, and I recommend doing that anyway with close friends because tumblr's notifs are perpetually screwed.

It's not less inclusive, it's more so. I think it could even go a distance toward lessening the illusion that all friendships in the RPC are "cliques." Instead of the same five muns, none of whom are you, being tagged every time because they occur more quickly to the mun who interacts with them often, there is an open invitation for you to do it. It allows muns to be more visible to those they haven't established friendships with yet and allows others to put themselves out there as approachable and interested.

Alright, back on topic!

Send others these sorts of interactions when you see them. Unless someone has it in the tags or their rules that memes are only for established writing partners, send them an applicable meme.

Applicable, in this case, would be those OOC-answered memes. With most muns, it would be poor form to send in memes that are too personal. Such as sending someone you've never really spoken to, plotted with, etc. a particularly raunchy headcanon ask. I was going to give an example, but for the sake of keeping this SFW lol...we all know the sort of ask I speak of.

With some muns, this isn't an issue. Any excuse to talk about their muse is a good excuse, and they'd not have reblogged the meme if they did not intend for people to send it in. I know that I'm such a mun, and unless someone only ever sends me sexually explicit questions like this, I don't mind at all. It's just an aspect of my muse to detail in a HC.

Just exercise reasonable awareness - "read the room." If a mun seems to answer those questions from anyone, then it is alright to send them in. If they have established openness on these discussions, have nothing in their rules that would imply they'd be perturbed, etc. Conversely, if they've established such opposing behavior that you have to wonder why they posted this meme at all? Don't send anything from that one. They may be trying to establish greater comfort with these topics, but whether they realize it or not yet, they may not be ready for this to sent by anyone who isn't a very established writing partner/friend.

You want to be attracting good attention, demonstrating that you're not someone intimidating, not giving muns any reason to be disturbed by you. Even if they openly asked for it!

This brings us back to: no, really, a lot of things are out of your control.

How people view us isn't as up to us as we'd like, on or offline. Everyone has preconceived notions, biases, and developed preferences. And everyone has had experiences that lead them to react differently to all of these things where they do and do not exist.

Unfortunately, the RPC fosters a serious environment of paranoia, hostility, and the inherent defensiveness of both. Even when that is coming across more peaceably, it can lead to things like...the multiple muns I've known in the last two years alone that seem to almost panic and block potential partners for extremely negligible things they're perceiving as a red flag portending of inevitable bad behavior.

I really do mean irrational actions that are often contrary from one move to another. One potential partner is too exuberant in response to plotting, they are designated a red flag for being too inclined to pester OOC. Another is lacking exuberance and does not easily come up with plots, they are designated as being too passive a partner who will drop. One is too nice, they won't possibly be able to tell that mun of problems in the thread, another is too aggressive, they'll do nothing but stress the mun and fight with their friends. And on and on.

It's not an unreasonable situation, as we all continue to be reminded, the RPC is far more hostile than it should be for what it is. We all (that's not entirely true, but let us pretend it is) want to avoid problems and enjoy the hobby, but in the attempt to avoid those problems, we often see them where they are not.

So, you really cannot control whether someone designates you as being too much this, too little that, an inevitable problem. Your presentation is in the eye of the beholder, just as what "intimidating" is, is in the eye of the intimidated.

You can only try to identify the things that might be putting off the most people you want to write with, work on them when and where they will not ruin your time here, and hope for the best.

It's wonderful that you care, but it's also wonderful that you seem willing to accept that there are things you just have to let go of as already being out of your hands. That's honestly the best way to approach RP, period. The only things you are fully in control of are your own creativity and your behavior. That's it, in the end.

Present yourself with honesty as to who you are as a mun, be as approachable as you truly are, and know what you're looking for in writing partners.

Personally, from what little I have seen of you, Anon, there isn't anything that glaringly needs changing. You're not possessed of a shitty attitude or unrealistic expectations. You seem like a pretty reasonable mun to me who is struggling with something any of us who concentrate on the writing do; being vaguely told we're "intimidating," and seeking other partners who are interested in the same variety of RP we are.

That's my final point to touch on, and the one most likely to piss people off: there are different varieties of RP, and the people telling you this might be in the wrong corner for you.

That doesn't make them bad RPers or anything, variety is good, it's an open hobby! We're not all compatible, though, and so many problems arise from muns not accepting this reality, but rather, taking extreme offense over it.

No one I have ever established the sort of RP I enjoy most with has told me that I am "intimidating."

The people who have said this to me have been those who would not have worked out anyway. That's not said in some bizarre bitterness lol I have the best writing partners, I could not ask for anything more! It's just said in honesty of continuing to see them on my dash and/or interacting with friends. They blog and muse hop often, prefer the genres and fandoms I do not, and so on.

Changing to be less intimidating to those RPers would put me back where I started when joining the RPC here years ago, and while it's great that a lot of people enjoy RP the way they do, I don't. I worked rather hard to get away from it.

So, you do have to consider what you want. Do you want any partners, or do you want the right ones for you?

I'm genuinely glad that people are enjoying themselves, especially when they do not have hateful things to say about those who enjoy RP differently than themselves, but it'd be nice if some of the niches in the RPC were a bit wider! It shouldn't be this difficult to find people in a writing hobby who are invested in the writing, but it is. And it is something you should keep in mind when figuring out this whole "intimidating" thing.

So, my ultimate recommendation would be to assess whether there are things you can be doing to make you, as the mun, more approachable so that your writing is less “intimidating" to people within the RP corner you’re trying to attract, but consider whether the people who have said this to you might just be looking for different things and not as viable as partners as you might have liked. There are definitely more RPers on tumblr who do not enjoy RP in this way than there that do, and while the only thing you have control over is yourself, you don’t have control over how you and what you are putting out there is perceived.

I really do think that most of the “intimidation” problem comes from different varieties of RP and what muns have been led to believe about them. You check off a lot of boxes for the false perception of “elitism,” as a literate, long-term, novella RPer. People are going to see many things that you do in a threatening or off-putting light through no fault of your own because of that. Even other, lengthier writers can fall into that because they feel overwhelmed at the volume of content you have, for example. A thing that should be promising of how well-developed your muse is and how committed you are to your interest in them can come off as overwhelming to people who are less well established or interested in being around for the long game. I certainly don’t think it’s a good idea for you to remove that material or stop writing it! I cannot encourage people enough to do what you have!

Maybe, since you expressed concern of this specifically as well, you could consider how it is presented?

Do you have approachable formatting on those posts? Do they appear to be a lot of very plain text, or do you practice adding some graphics like a header and dividers, formatting that also breaks up the text like segmenting it into clear topics with bold, bigger text, and so on? Is it the opposite and potentially difficult to read, like using font that is smaller than the default small size available, or incredibly busy with colors? It’s a difficult balance, and one that will never be 100% appealing or accessible to 100% of the RPC, to make things visually appealing, easy to read, and informative while being engaging. It could be that you have information people would love to know, but the design of how you’re putting it out there is adding to them feeling overwhelmed.

Maybe, consider how it is placed on your blog, as well? Using specific tags for organization and having a detailed navigation might help. Instead of someone pulling up every one of your many HC posts in the HC tag you have, they could choose specific topics to view at their own pace with a little more control over it. Giving people some control in their experience can go a long way to giving them comfort in it!

So, let’s say you have a headcanon that addresses how your muse portrayal diverges from strict canon, and in that HC, it’s important to address their mental health and how it impacts their relationships with others. That’s a great HC, it’s going to be informative, but it has multiple topics within it. You’d want to tag it with the overall HC tag, a tag for your “player canon” topics, muse metal health discussions, and a general tag for your muse’s relationships/interactions with others.

When you do that, in your navigation, if someone clicked your tag-based link for all information pertaining to the muse’s mental health, they’ll just get that. They’ll see this headcanon post, they’ll see all relevant, tagged posts you’ve made or reblogged, but only that pertain to this topic. They won’t also get twenty extra posts that don’t discuss this, but do discuss your muse’s personal opinion on making bread at home and why sourdough is a labor of love. Unless, of course, your muse is partaking in that labor of love as an exercise that benefits their mental health, of course lmao

Delineating topics for people to engage with at their own pace, need, or interest can prevent them from scrolling through what could be hundreds of HC posts. We all desperately want people to read every one of our posts, especially if our portrayal is different from canon or popular fanon or we have an OC whose entire existence has to be learned this way, but we have to resist the temptation to make people read them all, and all at once. Because that is how it comes across when someone pulls up a ton of HCs - they may be super interested, but it’s a lot that they may put pressure on themselves to learn immediately, back to back to back. It begins to feel like a task quickly. Most people who are genuinely interested in your muse and writing are going to end up reading all of them eventually! If they don’t shut themselves down on doing so prematurely, and this could be a way of helping them avoid doing that.

Hell, if you’re really feeling it, you can even link to closely related posts and your navigation on those HC posts! Just mention at the top of the post that this is related to the one linked here, and to find more informative posts on any topic, please visit the navigation page here. You can even remind at the bottom of the post with just the links.

While like anything, it could make people feel you’re too organized and “serious” about RP, but you probably want other “too serious” RPers to interact with, so it might be a passive way of establishing partners that won’t work out. I think, for the right partners, an organized system they can interact with easily would be appealing, and again, a lot of people in the RPC do have problems that disrupt their ability to engage with a great deal of content at once. This might make them feel less overwhelmed and frustrated by themselves, or negative about themselves that they cannot but aspire to your level of content and organization.

Willing to bet that much of “intimidation” comes from negative feelings about oneself projected outward protectively and unconsciously, honestly. So, when you see ways to combat that, take it on. Make it clear that you’re not expecting anyone to be anything other than themselves, you appreciate your partners’ unique approaches and skills. The more of them you have, the more approachable you are proving yourself, too.

Since you are interested in long-term and have so much material on your muse, I have to assume this is a case of having gone on hiatus or had partners who have left. You could be appearing as less approachable because you’ve few interactions, and that’s a problem that will start correcting itself as you have more of them. If that’s the case, it may be adding serious frustration in the slow process of getting your foot back in the door, but I believe you can do it!

I hope people haven’t made you feel too anxious or bad about yourself by telling you you’re “intimidating,” Anon. Try not to internalize it or make into a more serious matter than it is! I really do think it has less to do with the RPer being told that than it does all these other factors, poor ability to express ourselves very much included. You’re interested in what you can do, willing to accept what you can’t do, overall approaching this from a chill and reasonable place, I think you’re going to find the people you need to with this attitude!

Keep at it, keep doing what you love, and my sincerest best of luck to you! Thank you for giving me the excuse to discuss this topic, it’s an important one that I hope made some difference to others out there as well. I apologize that took me a minute to get it out, and that it is still a bit more disjointed than I’d have liked.

[youllneverknowrac]

Oscar Diaz-Lockdown

(MBS)

“Anthony, mijo you are ten years old. You should know this multiplication shit by now.” You hear Oscar say as he sits in the dining room with both school age boys and Junior who had his own work to get done. Angel sitting at the table as well as he pretends to do school work by coloring,”Do the problem again and actually show your work.”

You guys have been stuck in the house for three weeks now due to the virus, the only person that was able to leave being Oscar since he still had to go to work. Thankfully it was Friday afternoon so that meant he was at home and could take over the role of teacher. It was fun being able to teach your kids at first, but after three days you wanted to pull your hair out. Carlos and Anthony, your two sweet boys, hated anything to do with school and put little to no effort. The only good thing that came out of this virus was that your oldest son was now home, his campus closing down for the time being. Even though you were glad he was back, you couldn’t wait for things to go back to normal. You were going a bit stir crazy and needed time to yourself. But alas the mommy role was a never ending one.

“I have snacks.” You smile, coming in with a tray of finger sandwiches you made and a bowl of chips. Oscar has been at it for the last hour with them and you figured they could use a break.

“Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Give me.” Angel says and drop his crayons excitedly, Carlos and Anthony sighing in relief that you came to the rescue.

“Say please.” You remind as you set the items down

“Please mommy.” He says and holds his hand out

“Good boy.” You smile and pass him one of the smaller cut sandwiches, letting the boys eat while you go check on Alexander who sat in his pack n play in the living room.

“Hi fat boy.” You coo at him, making him giggle as he wobbles to pull him self up,”Do you want to come with mommy?” You ask, picking him up and giving him a kiss,”My happy baby, yes you are.”

“I will switch right now.” Oscar says from behind you,”I’ll take the baby, you take them.”

“Hmmm let me think.” You smile as you turn around, Alexander snuggling into you chest,”No.”

“Mami please.” Oscar begs,”I love our kids, but they are going to make me jump through the fucking window.”

“How do you think I feel? I’m here 24/7.” You say,”With ALL of them. At least I offered to watch the baby while you help them with their work.”

“Fine, but if I start yelling and shit starts getting thrown you can’t blame me.” He groans

“If you yell at any of my baby’s.” You start, setting Alex down on the floor to scoot around,”You’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.” You finish, wrapping your arms around your grumpy husband,”So you better take a few deep breaths and remember that you asked for this life. You put those kids in my stomach so you can’t get frustrated with them when times are hard.”

Oscar sighs and looks up at the ceiling in thought before meeting your gaze,”I’ll try my hardest to not go crazy.”

“Good.” You smile and pucker your lips, Oscar rolling his eyes before pressing his own against them,”Love you, now get back in there.”

“Yeah, yeah, love you too.” He mutters, turning around and heading back to the dining room. You can’t help but laugh as he sulks, sitting down on the floor with Alex while you pass the time by watching one of your shows.

~

“Mommy! I’m done with my work.” Angel says about half a hour later causing you to exit out of the program, no way you would be able to pay attention now.

“Oh yeah? Let me see.” You smile and take the page from him, the once white paper now filled with random color scribbles everywhere,”Good job baby, it’s so good. What color is this?” You ask him as you point to a green line that he drew.

“Um green. Like the grass.” He answers with a smile,”I’m a smart boy mommy.”

“The smartest.” You say and set the paper down on the coffee table, letting him sit across from you. Alexander sitting a few feet away while he plays with some toys.

“Mommy?”

“Yes?”

“Can we go to the park?”

“No, you know we can’t Angel.” You sigh,”Why don’t we go play in the backyard?”

“Backyard is boring.” He says with a shake of his head,”I wanna go to the park. Park!” He yells his mood instantly changing as he grabs one of the toys that laid near him,”Park, park, park!” He repeats angrily as he cries, the toy flying across the room.

“Go to timeout, you don’t throw things.” You say and stand up, grabbing his arm and helping him up to his feet, Angel trying to pull away with all his might,”Now.” You say more sternly

“Let me go.” He screams,”Play at the playground!”

“Angel, stop.” You sigh before your husband swoops in and picks the toddler up, holding him at arms length.

“A quien le gritas?” He asks,”Are you screaming at mommy? You are a kid and you do what she says, no questions. So go get in timeout now.” Oscar says as he sets him back down, his little feet taking off to the corner and facing the wall,”Stop crying, o te daré algo para que llores.” He warns, all noise ceasing from Angel.

“Thanks.” You say not meeting his gaze, you knew the kids needed discipline, but that was the area you failed in when it came to parenting. Oscar was usually the punisher which is why the kids never questioned his authority,”I feel like we’re all gonna snap any day now.” You admit, running your fingers through your hair messily.

“Yeah, but he still needs to listen and he can’t be popping off like that.” Oscar shrugs,”Even before all this lockdown bullshit started he always threw a fit when he couldn’t get his way. I’m tired of it, you need to stop babying him.”

“I don’t baby him.” You lie with a shake of your head. It was true, he was probably the one you babied the most out of all of the kids. Even when his brothers were his age you didn’t have to treat them like you do Angel.

“So you don’t carry him around on your hip all the time? You don’t let him sleep in our bed still? You don’t pick up every single thing after him? You don’t...” Oscar continues before you cut him off.

“Alright so maybe I do just a little.” You say, glancing back at him,”I don’t know why I do it, maybe it’s cause he has a different personality than the boys did. He lets me baby him. He can claim big boy status all he wants but he loves being my baby. I know I need to stop but it’s just so hard.” You groan, resting your head forward on Oscar’s chest, letting him embrace you.

“I like when you baby me too mami.” He chuckles softly,”But there has to be a limit.”

“You’re right.” You sigh and pull away,”Can I start tomorrow though? I just wanna cuddle him right now.” You admit, Oscar playfully rolling his eyes and not even bothering to respond before going back to the other kids.

You walk over to the sulking boy and pick him up,”I’m sorry mommy.” He sniffles and rest his head on your shoulder as you hold him,”I hate inside.”

“I know baby, me too.” You smile sadly and press a kiss to his forehead,”Are you going to be a good boy now?”

“Yes. No more timeout pwease.” He begs, even though he wasn’t even there for more than two minutes,”I’ll be a good, good, good boy.”

“Works for me...How about we build a fort? A huge one?” You ask him excitedly,”It’ll be so much fun.”

“Yeah!” He cheers,”Come on! We need to get blankies.”

“Go get the ones from my room, I’ll stay in here with Alex.”

“You got it.” He laughs before running down the hall and disappearing. You grin happily and go over to pick up the baby, heading to the dining room to ‘let school out.’

“Enough work, come help me and Angel build a fort.” You say, Anthony and Carlos darting up and racing to the living room,”You guys too.”

“Sure, why not?” Junior shrugs as he closes his laptop and goes to join his brothers.

“Come on.” You grin and hold your free hand out for your husband.

“I’m coming.” He reply’s, nonetheless taking your hand in his. The two of you joining the rest of the household for some quarantine fun.

~

“I know they are a lot to handle, but I think we would be bored if we didn’t have all of them in here with us.” You whisper to Oscar, all five of your kids spread out around you and fast asleep in the makeshift bed. After building the fort you guys spent the rest of the inside of it watching movies and eating junk food. Each kid falling asleep one by one until it was just the two of you awake.

“Yeah, I thought about that too.” He yawns,”We’re pretty lucky. Even luckier if you finally gave me my babygirl.”

“Stop.” You whine, Oscar bringing up this conversation at least twice a week,”We don’t need another kid. Are the five we have not enough?”

“They are enough, but I wouldn’t mind one more.” He chuckles

“That’s easy for you to say when you’re not the one carrying a whole human for nine months and then pushing said human out.” You remind him,”Besides what if it’s another boy? Are you still going to want to try again after?”

“If it’s a boy then it’s a boy.” He shrugs,”I know it’s going to be a girl though.”

“You said that about Alex.” You laugh,”And he’s most definitely not a girl.”

“Oh my god, just have another baby. Who cares?” Junior groans from somewhere in the fort,”I’m trying to sleep.”

“Aye, callate la boca.” Oscar says amusingly,”Don’t be listening to our conversation fool.”

“Kind of hard to do when your two feet away from me.” Junior retorts, turning on his side as he try’s to fall back asleep.

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow, but the answer is still going to be no.” You say to Oscar,”Now go to sleep, you have a class tomorrow morning Mr.Diaz.”

“Nah, I’m going to play hookie. One day isn’t going to kill them.” He chuckles,”Lets go for a drive or something, we don’t have to get out of the car. We could just drive along the beach.”

“That actually sounds fun. Let’s do it.” He agrees.

“Awesome.” You grin excitedly,”I cant wait, we all need to get out for a while.”

Oscar hums in response, lightly rubbing his eyes tiredly,”Night mi amor.” He says moments later

“Good night.” You reply, kissing his cheek before letting your eyes close. Angel’s foot digging into your back, but you didn’t care. You were too tired to move him. Each day since being in lockdown making you more and more exhausted, but it was okay. Being trapped in the house with the people you love most is way better than being stuck all alone.

[theoneryderlynn]

Self Para || One of Us

Location: Ohio State University

Date: Freshman Year of College. 

Notes: Bits of young Ryder during his freshman year in college that are relevant to his current story (aka before the Ryley era :D). Also, I have decided to pick young Vanessa Hudgens as an FC for Felicia.

Refresh.

Ryder’s eyes scrutinized his laptop’s screen as he tried to check whether his newest essay had already been graded. Nothing yet. He was feeling good about this one; the past few months in college had been decent for him. Despite being dyslexic, he’d managed to get good grades. Although Ryder was rather fond of his sessions with his tutor, he was told it wouldn’t be long till they would be necessary. He focused on the following few assignments and then rechecked his email. Seeing a familiar address, he quickly clicked on the tab.

Dear Mr. Lynn, I’m happy to inform you that your recent essay on “Social media’s influence in business” has been graded A-. Regardless of a few mistakes, your work proved excellent knowledge of the topic.

Ryder widened his eyes as he saw the message; it was hard to believe what had just happened. It was his first A in college, something he had never thought he would achieve. He grabbed his phone and sent a text to his parents and sister. Freya congratulated him, but his father seemed unbothered. “Not good enough.” He read the response out loud and sighed, leaning back. He wouldn’t let his father ruin the day. Not now.

------------------

He was lost in his thoughts for a moment as he was preparing two cups of coffee, still a little bit sleepy after an eventful Saturday night. He blinked when he realized that the warm liquid had been ready for a couple of minutes and that he was staring at the cups without doing anything. Finally, Ryder cleared his throat and moved towards the table.

“If you need sugar, I can bring…” He mumbled, placing one of the cups in front of Felicia, a brown-haired girl from his faculty. When she declined, he took a seat opposite her and took one of the forks. He was starving; luckily, she cooked a bunch of good omelets for the two of them.

“I had a really good time last night.” Ryder lifted his head when he heard Felicia’s voice, realizing that he’d just dropped his fork. He crouched down to look under the table and murmured a ‘sorry’, realizing that he was acting like an idiot. A hot girl was telling him that she had fun, and he was acting like a total fool, “You’re cute.” She added, causing him to smile. Okay, okay. Things weren’t that bad.

“I had a good time too.” He responded, a shy, lopsided grin present on his face. Somehow, these things didn’t come easily, “I should probably say, you’re cute too, but you’re like more…” He rambled on, gesticulating awkwardly. Ryder bit on his lip, blushing for a moment and realizing that he was once again doing the wrong thing. He took a small bite of his food.

There was an awkward silence for a moment.

“So, I wanted to ask...you know, this thing has been going on for a while, and I was wondering if maybe you’d like to take it further. I would like to know where I stand, if we’re just a fling or something else.” She spoke up, looking Ryder in the eye, something he hadn’t expected last night when they had met up at a restaurant, and ended up in his apartment later on.

Truthfully, Ryder hadn’t been in a relationship for a long time. Indeed, he’d dated in high school, but things had never been serious. However, college dating seemed slightly different, so maybe it was a chance for him to change. Nevertheless, he remained quiet for a second, unable to speak. He wasn’t sure if there was a good answer to Felicia’s question.

“I’d like that. We could give it a try.” He finally spoke up with a shy smile on his face. She was lovely and gorgeous, it wouldn’t hurt, right?

She took a small sip of her coffee and shuffled a bit closer, “That’s good to hear…” Ryder felt their eyes meeting and blushed again. He wasn’t used to the serious conversations, “One more question before we can get back to business…” She started with a cheeky grin, “Look, I wanna know...What’s up with you and the Marley girl? I don’t wanna be second best, so I have to ask.”

Ryder sighed, hearing the question. People kept on asking him about one of his best friends, and he had no idea why. It’s not like there were any chances for them to get together, “Well, nothing’s happening.” The brunette shrugged, “We met in high school; I liked her a lot, cause you know, she’s crazy talented, but erm...she kinda picked someone else. I let it go. We were best friends in high school, attended Glee club together, nothing else. We changed schools after our Sophomore year. I met her again a couple of months ago here. Now we’re friends again. She’s very talented, and I like listening to her music, that’s it. Friendship, nothing more.” He explained, hoping that she would see how genuine he was being. Seconds later, he felt their hands intertwine, and he leaned forward to kiss the brunette.

So far, so good.

--------------------------

The gyms at Ohio State weren’t that bad; Ryder immensely enjoyed them. They even had a sauna room which seemed incredible, especially after a long workout. Exercising with one of his best friends was a good idea for an afternoon and a nice replacement for canceled football practice.

“So, if this NFL trial goes well, I might be leaving at the end of the year. Not a big deal.” Nathan, Ryder’s college best friend, smiled at the brunette when they finished running on the treadmills. Both of them rushed towards the dumbbells.

“I’m super happy for you, bro. I think you’ll crush it!” Ryder was genuinely happy for his buddy succeeding; he was a killer player, so he deserved it more than anyone.

“What about you?” 

“What about me…” Ryder repeated, grabbing two of the middle dumbbells, he wasn’t going to start with the heaviest ones to avoid injury. He did a few lifts before answering, “I don’t think I’ll ever be a pro player. I mean, I’m not even in the main squad. I wanna graduate, and find a nice job, whether it’s here or somewhere else.” He shrugged and kept on exercising. They both spoke about the games a little bit when Nathan said,

“Oh I forgot to tell you. Felicia had lunch with Mary last night. She saw you and Marley this week, and she wasn’t happy about it.”

Ryder frowned, “Yeah, she texted me about it. I don’t see her problem, we had brunch and talked about school. Nothing too special.” He added, placing the dumbbells where they belonged, and then started doing stretches. Nathan joined him.

“Look, I’m not saying she’s right, but you two.” He pointed at Ryder, “You and the blue-eyed lady have this kind of vibe.” He exaggerated the last word, looking Ryder in the eye.

“We’re friends. I’m allowed to have friends. I’m not going to give up my friendship with Marley because Felicia seems insecure. I’ll explain that it was nothing serious; it will be fine.” Ryder lifted himself and headed towards the other room. He wasn’t planning on dwelling on the topic for too long, the issue wasn’t worth it. 

Nathan seemed not convinced but remained quiet.

----------------------

Ryder kept staring at his phone as he checked if he’d borrowed all the necessary books from the library; the notes option was a lifesaver. Sophomore year had just started, and he was ready to learn more. He’d managed to finish the first one with a B grade which was a huge success. Even if his tutoring sessions were still set, they happened less often as his teacher was delighted with his achievements. When he was leaving the library, he almost bumped into someone. Damn, he shouldn’t be so focused on his phone, “Uh sorry…” He mumbled and lifted his eyes to see a familiar face, “Uh...hey...hey, Felicia. Hi.” He gave her an awkward nod before adjusting his backpack’s strap.

“Hey, Ryder. How was your summer?” She asked with a slight smile on his face.

Summer. Right. They hadn’t spoken for a few months. He’d spent the past summer with Marley and helped her mom at the bakery. While he’d been away from the university, he’d completely forgotten about the past year’s problems.

“Uh, it was alright. I was resting...and all that stuffs. How was yours? Everything alright?” He knew he sounded awkward, but it couldn’t be helped. Ryder wasn’t an expert when it came to these situations.

Luckily for him, his ex-girlfriend was way better at them, “It was great. I spent a month in France with my friends.” She responded with a small nod.

Ryder flashed her an awkward smile and was ready to move before she spoke again, “I saw you two yesterday. You looked very happy.” She told him, a genuine tone in her voice.

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, staring at his feet.  He wasn’t sure if he was even supposed to answer, “Yeah…” He replied quietly.

“For the record, I think you’re great together. You deserve it, Ry; you’re a good guy.” She touched his shoulder, causing him to smile. Okay, so this was going way better than he’d expected. Of course, they hadn’t ended up on good terms, but maybe there was a chance to fix this. They’d see each other in class for the next few years, after all.

“Thanks. I hope you’ll find someone that makes you happy.” Ryder responded, a smile still present on his face. The past few weeks felt like a dream come true, so maybe it was apparent how ecstatic he was.

“Oh, don’t worry. I got this.” She winked at him before moving past his shoulder, “I’ll see you around.”

Ryder gave her an awkward wave and started walking towards the exit. He pulled out his phone and typed a quick message to Marley  “Lunch on me :) Let’s hang out!! Can’t wait to see you again :)”.

It was quite a decent start to their Sophomore year.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia, I hope you’re well. Please feel free to ignore this if it’s too personal... but how do you deal with death as a concept when you have the chronic illnesses that you do? Are you afraid to die, and if you are, how do you keep from constantly thinking about how you could die early (so to speak) if your health takes a turn? I’ve had a lot of health scares recently and it’s getting harder and harder to just live without feeling constantly afraid. Thank you for everything you do.

Hi anon!

Firstly, I am very sorry to hear about your health scares. They suuuuuck. They really suck. I’m replying partly out of solidarity, but I don’t know if I have anything that will really work for you, because sometimes I really struggle to find things that work for me, but I’m happy to share what I’ve picked up along the way. <3 And I hope in the meantime that things pick up for you.

The timing of this is pretty spot on, in that I’m going through pretty serious scanxiety at the moment (what we call ‘anxiety around getting scans for cancer’ in my cancer support group that I’m a member of). I had a full body PET scan two weeks ago (no results yet), and I have a head/neck MRI on Friday, for which I can hopefully get the results Mon/Tuesday. But I don’t have my follow up with my Endocrinologist until late July, so I won’t know for about 6 weeks if I have any new tumours in my abdomen.

I definitely don’t want to die from this disease, and it will probably be the thing that kills me. Not any time soon, that’s less likely, but it’s just...likely overall. A lot of the statistics are stacked against me, I have three primary tumours in my head/neck, and there’s no indication that my body is going to stop growing them, and there’s no cure and likely to be no cure in my lifetime.

So yeah, I get anxious. I am afraid to die (I mean in general, unless I’m suicidal, but also specifically the way this disease is likely to kill me: progressively taking my hearing, my ability to swallow and talk, my ability to move my arms and my head and my neck, my sense of balance and ability to walk upright without collapsing, and more - which doesn’t even count metastatic disease - is a horrible way to die). And I live with the knowledge that like, it literally takes one scan result to change my entire life all over again (hence, scanxiety).

BUT, living in constant fear is just...not helpful. It’s understandable, it is an understandable emotional response, but it’s not a helpful response. Because what matters most in these scenarios is quality of life; and you get quality of life (in chronic illness and acute disease) by managing emotional outcomes as vigilantly and with as much self-compassion (and patience) as possible. So these are the things that work for me, if they don’t work for you, that’s fine, some might even feel completely wrong for you, that’s also fine and normal. The things we tell ourselves to cope in this are deeply personal. I hate the phrase ‘fuck cancer’ for example, other people who have cancer use it as a battle cry and feel strong because of it.

***

* ‘Can I literally do anything more than I’m doing to change the outcomes of my illness without hurting myself? No? Then admit you have no control over this and let it go.’ This is something I tell myself when I start panicking. ‘But what if I get this result what if this happens what if this tumour starts growing again what if.’ I just look at myself sternly and say: ‘HOW is this helpful?’ It’s NOT. Knowing the answers to any of those what ifs changes nothing in the moment except my anxiety, distress and fear levels. And then I say ‘so WHAT would be helpful? What do you have control over?’ And then I might wait and think... ‘well...I really like that Youtube channel One Meal A Day I might watch one of those videos’ or ‘well...I might journal about my feelings and give them some space (see further down) and then try and let them go because just cycling around them isn’t productive.’ Sometimes we hang onto anxiety because our brain convinces us it will somehow be helpful. With this stuff it rarely is.

* WORRY TIME. Yay worry time! Set aside 5-20 minutes a day (or every three days, or once a week, but you might need to start with once a day when things are really bad) to write down ALL of your worries about your illnesses. All the irrational things, the logical things, ALL of it, no matter how embarrassing. And omg, chase those worries down. Really sit and be with your worry. Give it space. Let it speak! But do it with the intention that once those 5-20 minutes are over, that’s it. You’re done. If your worries start up again, say gently to yourself: ‘You told me all of this during Worry Time, but if this is new, please save it for tomorrow, I will give you space to share with me then!’ Treat your worry like a little animal that doesn’t know any better, and has to be taught some boundaries. Worry Time becomes the boundary. That doesn’t mean you won’t feel anxious the rest of the time, just if you do, it’s easier to step back mindfully and go ‘huh, I’m anxious right now, that’s really interesting, but I’m going to do something about that tomorrow, and so for now I’m just going to acknowledge it but I’m going to try not to let it ruin my day.’

* ‘Everything right now, this moment, this second is exactly the way it should be.’ This is Taoism, and some people hate it. I use this most often when I’m in excruciating pain, or terrified, or literally in a panic attack. I don’t know why it helps so much, but it does. And I think it’s because it works like this: ‘Everything right now, this moment, this second is exactly the way it should be. Terrible things are happening all over the world. Other people are feeling pain like I am. Animals and plants go on living and dying. Right now everything in this moment is perfect messy imperfection and I am a part of that, a small cog in a huge ecosystem. I am a part of something, I belong in this, and I hate it - I really hate it - but even that is part of that messy imperfection. It just is. And therefore, I can release any attachment or urgency to change the things that I cannot change.’ And then...I will still be in pain, or having a panic attack, or terrified, but it will feel integrated and connected to me. It will feel like it’s a part of something. Still, ultimately, sometimes useless but...even useless excesses of terror are a part of the messy imperfection of life.

This leads onto the second:

* ‘In this moment, I am okay.’ Not like, literally 100% healthy. I’ll never be that. But I’m okay. I’m okay as a person and a human being who deserves love and comfort, and I’m okay to just grab another minute to feel okay. You can pair this with mindfulness meditation, and Smiling Mind has a great free app, and most of the meditations are between 5-8 minutes long. Sometimes ‘I’m okay’ doesn’t mean ‘I feel okay’ - and that’s okay too! I’m not trying to erase my emotions, I’m not trying to make myself never feel afraid of dying, that is an appropriate response to something that literally threatens my life but isn’t doing it urgently right this second. And because it’s not doing it right this second, well, right this second, I’m okay.

* Goals that have nothing to do with your health. For me, probably pretty obviously, it’s my writing and my art and similar. I have responsibilities towards my loved ones and my animal companions. Sometimes just...putting my head down and getting stuff done helps take my mind off things, and that also makes me feel productive and like I’m more than my illnesses. Socialising is a part of this. You are so much more than your illnesses, but you have to live that way too, that’s your responsibility to yourself, to remember that you are more, and then to embrace that in your actions (I mean, keeping in mind spoons/energy levels), even when you’re not always feeling it.

* Look at the things you can control and shore them up where you can. Like, consider writing a will. One of the things I’ve had to do is consider what I’ll do if I get sick so quickly I can never finish Fae Tales or never write anything again. These practical steps can be distressing, but sometimes they can answer background anxieties you didn’t know you had, and put them to bed. ‘I don’t need to worry about this, I’ve already done this part.’ Sometimes it’s just knowing that every time you see a specialist, you’re going to write down your questions, so you no longer need to worry about forgetting them. Things like that seem little, but they add up as background anxieties we do have control over.

* If you can afford it; Therapy. Depending on your illness/es, there may be support groups. Some are dodgy as shit (Fibromyalgia groups have categorically been the worst spaces I’ve ever encountered for genuine support), but generally speaking for serious illnesses, there are support groups. They can be an incredible resource. I help moderate the Australian/New Zealand Para/Pheo Support Group (there’s only one, lol), and like sometimes it’s depressing (people I care about do, on occasion, die), but knowing I’m not alone, knowing I can get advice about what to ask my surgeons or my Endocrinologists or Oncologists, especially for a rare disease? Fuck that’s so invaluable. And being able to help other people advocate for themselves has been really empowering for me.

* Don’t expect to get rid of your fear or anxiety entirely. If you’re alive and you’re human and you like life, you just can’t do that. So remember that when you’re feeling those things, you’re being a normal human being, and you are not alone (even when you feel like the loneliest person in the world, even that’s a part of it). It won’t fix those things, sometimes you can’t. Some days I just give as like, shit days, it happens. June I’ve given up as kind of a shit month honestly. Am I having good moments? Yes. Am I stressed every day about this disease? YES! Fun times. (I won’t be stressed every day if the scan results show that everything is the same tbh, like, then I’ll go back to ‘normal’ where I rarely think about it).

* Don’t write off the day until the day is over. I used to have this habit (and still can sometimes) of writing off the day as being ‘a bad day’ because of a terrible morning. I actually started this habit as a child, because of trauma and abuse, and it was something I kept doing because of mental illness. So this is something I was doing long before cancer came along and additionally kicked my ass. These days, even though I feel so bad sometimes I feel like hell, my entire life is a write off, I try and keep in mind that one thing can change the tone of the day and make it better. And that ‘thing’ can be me and my choices. And the fact is, even if I try some Youtube videos, or to pet my cats, or talk to friends, or whatever and it doesn’t work, at least I can look back and reassure myself: ‘You’re trying so hard, you’re really trying your best’ and also ‘you know this never lasts, it never has, you still have moments where you feel good, which means you’ll have a moment where you’ll feel good again. It’s okay. I’m okay.’

* Dark humour can be a saviour. Oh boy, can it ever. But be careful who you share it with.

* Gratitude for what you have now, and not what you might not in the future, because the future is an illusion, it’s not here now. But you are. I have a journal where I write down something I’m grateful for every day. Even if I’m feeling cynical and hateful and anxious and bitter. And then I might just say ‘I’m grateful for chips’ or ‘I’m grateful for that nice leaf I saw but nothing else’ lol. Just something. I’m grateful I can still hear, I might not hear one day, but I’m listening to a song right now. That matters. I’m grateful I can walk. I’m grateful I can read this post. I’m grateful I can still write my books despite the mild cognitive brain damage I got from radiation. My gratitude doesn’t always feel warm or nice, but I am still, somewhere, deep down, glad I haven’t lost those things.

***

It’s hard, and many of these things take time to learn, and repetition, and getting back on the wagon when you forget. Some days they won’t help, and some days you’ll be so glad of one 5 minute mindfulness meditation it saves the whole rest of the day for you. Sometimes sleeping is a really good reset tool for the brain.

Some people find Buddhism helpful (all life is suffering can become pretty zen when you’re suffering), I found the philosophy of Taoism helpful on top of my regular paganism.

ANYWAY this post is now...2,200 words long fuck that’s longer than some of my university essays I’M SO SORRY so I’m going to stop. Just, please anon, from the bottom of my heart, be gentle with yourself. It’s hard. This stuff is hard. It requires an unfair amount of effort to make it less hard, but that’s all life gives us, because life never promised to be fair or just or compassionate to us. So we must be fair and just and compassionate to ourselves. And that, in its messy imperfection, is all we can do to be a perfect part of this world. <3

[storieswrittcnarc]

ALRIGHT SINCE SOME OF Y’ALL CAN’T READ RULES, I’M PINNING THIS TO THE TOP OF MY BLOG SO U GOT NO CHOICE.

Hello. My name is Ares (formerly known as snow - please do not call me Snow). He/him pronouns please. 21+ and prefer to interact with those 18+. This blog is mutuals only and semi selective. I’m autistic, so i will be blunt, to the point where it may seem mean. i’m sorry in advance, i don’t mean it in any bad way, it’s just who i am.

Before we get started, I don’t write on discord. I do have it for ooc purposes though

I have had a callout on me in the past, people are STILL obsessed with me. I make no apologies for the things I’ve written as it has been FICTION. I will say one thing though - I have never ever written pedophilia, no matter what the callout says are “proves”. It was an aged up verse and it was written nearly a year ago anyway. Believe me, don’t believe me, I don’t give a fuck. If you don’t like me - block me. I will not apologize for fiction nor will I blame you for keeping yourself safe. I’m sorry if this seems harsh but I’m sick and tired of the bullshit. And since I know the people who are still obsessed with me will be reading this - call me out 100 times, I don’t care. You’re literally accomplishing nothing.

Call out culture: I want no part of it. Unless someone is being actively harmful and predatory, I want no part of it. Even then, I will not reblog it, and will block and go on my way. Call-out culture does more harm than good and I do not wish to be a part of it, leave me out of it.

Anon hate will be blocked and deleted, don’t even bother.

All muses within ships or involved in smut are 18+. Aged up verses may happen. I’m not writing pedophilia by aging people up and if you think I am, kindly get off my blog.

DO NOT USE ME AS A MEME RESOURCE.

There is rather dark topics present here. I will be handling these as delicately as possible but I will not be censoring myself from anything I wish to write. Just because I write them does not mean I condone them or am forcing them upon anyone/promoting them in any way, ya’ll pls don’t be gross in rl. This includes, self harm, implications of sexual assualt and dealing with the trauma that comes with it, incest, suicidal ideations, toxic ships, among various other things.  Please understand this. Tags will be provided for you to blacklist and no one is forcing you to follow me.

Shipping - I’m a multishipper and yes I ship toxic and incest pairings. If you want to ship an pairing like that, let me know or like the shipping call for that character. I’m not opposed to it but I also will NEVER force anyone into it.

I’m mutuals only. Do not message me if we’re not mutuals, do not send me memes, you will be blocked for disrespecting both me and my rules. However, you ARE welcome to send me headcanon prompts.

No drama. I’m not here to have drama on my blog. This is a stress-free, drama-free blog. Anon hate will be deleted. Callouts will get you blocked. It’s different if it’s a callout over actual predators but call out over things like fiction aren’t okay. Drama gives me anxiety, no one wants that.

I do not believe in policing people. If I see you policing people's blogs whether it's their portrayal, the things they write, etc, or you try to police me, you will be blocked.

Please specify a muse when sending something in.

Multiple threads with one person is okay!

Triggering material will be present. They will be tagged in the format of (trigger here) tw. I will write dark subject matter if I want to. I will write whatever I want, whenever I want. If I get hate about anything I write, it will be blocked and so will you. The few things that I will NOT write is pedophilia

My triggers are visuals of sharks and the c*nt word, please tag and avoid this word with me, thank you

NSFW is allowed and tagged simple as nsfw. I’m not really comfortable writing the dominant party in smut. So that probably won’t be a thing i do unless it’s like with m/f ships and even then i’m not sure if i can. If you don’t like that, you don’t have to smut with me.

I write all my muses as bi/pan/demi unless they are canonically gay because we’re not erasing that yo. Huge multi-shipper, I can probably ship just about anything (except for adult/minor ships) so feel free to ask to ship!

I don’t mind ooc talk, feel free to talk to me, I don’t bite.

Feel free to send as many memes as you want. Just specify muse when sending in. 

Writing: i prefer longer detailed threads such as multi-para and novella.short threads - as in one-liners to one paragraph threads - will probably be dropped

I’m not a fast rper. Some replies may wait months, if you can’t handle that, do not write with me

If I block/soft block/unfollow you please do not come to me asking why. Please respect that I’m mutuals only or that will get you blocked too.

Rules are subject to change.

[disaster-fruit]

Ahhhhhh, I just read your recent urupara post and hngh....I ship now. Not from South America but I had read briefly about the Paraguayan War and how it was one of the most devastating wars in that about ~50-75% of Paraguay's population died because of the war, but I didn't know that Uruguay was involved, especially to such an extent which definitely sounds impactful from the perspective of nation-tans. I'd love to hear more about them and about your thoughts regarding the Paraguayan War.

This ask made me SO HAPPY when I got it and now that I finished the bigger part of my research I can finally answer it! But since this could easily turn into 10 pages of non-sense, I’m gonna do my best to be concise and focus on Uruguay and Paraguay and not go on thousands of different tangent BUT if you or anyone else wants me to go deeper into my hcs about the war, just send another ask! This time I promise I won’t take this long to reply ahsduas 

The Paraguayan War was indeed horribly devastating to Paraguay, and it did seem that after it the country would disappear from the map, with so many people dead, from battles, diseases and internal persecution by the Lopez government. And it was a trauma for Paraguay the nation-tan as well that is even hard to speak of. Before the war, he was a glowing optimistic country, opening up after decades of isolation, and had somewhat good diplomatic relationships with all his neighbors - even though there was tension regarding territorial disputes and river navigation. He wanted to establish his place as a power in the region, against the influence of Brazil and Argentina, there was a growing military industry, illiteracy was almost eradicated, he was doing well. He was still a poor agrarian nation under a dictatorship centered on the Lopez family, but he was in general optimistic and ambitious. The war destroyed all he was building and left him with nothing.

It was clear that the war would be won by the allies very soon - the plans collapsed within the first months, and he was soon fighting defensively in his own territory - but no one could have predicted the scale of the tragedy. After a point, Para was sure he would disappear after the war, he had no reason to believe Argentina and Brazil had any intention but to divide the territory between them. And even if they didn’t, which was not a possibility he considered, the nation is its people too, and what happened in the war as a demographic catastrophe. By the end of it, there were almost no men left, and the population was mostly made of women - mostly girls. I think through the war that constant loss manifested in him in a lot of ways, like him slowly realizing his wounds weren’t healing as easy and fast as they should, and leaving behind scars, he was constantly exhausted, his body was weak, sickly-ish, and it continued to be for many years after the war. Still, he found a strength he didn’t know he had, both in how brave his people were in the war (and that is considered one of the factors of the war taking so long, there’s a lot of letters from ally soldiers describing how fearsome the Paraguayans were in battle, despite being outnumbered and outnumbered almost every time), and how somehow he managed to rebuild himself, even if permanently scarred. That was somewhat a surprise to him - he was so sure he was gonna die. In a way, maybe, he might feel like he did, but then realized he didn’t. After witnessing such cruelty and pain, he became a more caring and humble person, more conscious of his own limits and of his strengths, something his neighbors failed to do. 

Uruguay is an interesting case in the war - it was its internal problems that triggered it (though it was clear that a war would eventually happen in the region because of those territorial disputes and river navigation), but it was the country least involved in it. Uruguay sent only 5000 men to fight ( though it had the highest rate of death in the alliance - 62% of those Uruguayan soldiers fought in the war). The war was also very beneficial to Montevideo, which made money and developed from being the main port used by the allies. Uruguay and Paraguay were allies since both were being constantly threatened by Brazil and Argentina. Uruguay right before the war was in the middle of a civil war between the two main parties, the blancos, who were in power and had an alliance with Lopez, and the Colorados, supported by Brazilian troops. I don’t see Uru being in favor of either party, since all he had ever seen was the two fighting and not giving him a day of peace, but he especially didn’t like Brazil and Argentina interfering in his business - he knew both would gladly have him as their province if they had the chance. But he liked Paraguay a lot and was hopeful that with Paraguay’s growing military power, he’d be able to help the blancos against Brazil. But the Paraguayan army never reached Uruguay. Instead, Brazil quickly won and put the colorados in power, suddenly forcing Uruguay against his one ally. 

If Brazil and Argentina both had their own interests and ambitions in the war, Uruguay had nothing to gain from it, and I don’t think he at any moment wished for anything but for it to be over. I think one thing that he especially hated at the start of it is that there was actually a considerable number of Uruguayans fighting in the Paraguayan side, and when the allies captured those Uruguayans, they were all executed. So Uru was pushed into war with a gun on his head (Brazil’s) and had to kill his own people, fighting with his former ally, who was involved in the war because he honored their alliance and risked himself to help Uruguay. He hated every minute of it. It was still 1866 when almost all Uruguayan troops left the war, which was always being fought for Brazil and Argentina’s interests only, but he remained their ally. Once the war was over though, he was the first to try to make amends with Paraguay. As a person, he could see clearly the injustice and absurd that had happened, and feel the soul-eating guilt of letting that happen. He could never fix it, couldn’t go back and stop himself from ever asking Paraguay for help or from not rejecting the Triple Alliance, all he could do was pardon the war debts and give Paraguay back objects stolen from the war. But I think because of this, Paraguay doesn’t hold far as much grudge against him as he does with Brazil and Argentina. 

This was very……. not coherent auhsduiashd But there are honestly so many ways I could answer this question and so many things I could talk about, I tried my best to have some self-restraint (yes this huge text is me being retrained), but if there’s anything I didn’t cover or if you want me to go deeper into any point, just send another ask!! After all, writing these things forces me to somewhat organize y thoughts and consider new perspectives and that is all valuable for my fic, so thank you for this ask!

Also knowing someone started to ship urupara because of me makes me just asdhuas SO HAPPY. That is my legacy, spreading this ship in 2020.

[iristhechocolatier]

Hello, Nice To Meet You || Self-Para

So far in all the time they've been together, Iris has yet to visit Breeze’s place, most dates otherwise consisting of meeting in town or ordering takeout at hers after a hard day’s work. So, at Breeze’s invitation she jumped at the chance to accept and tonight wasn't just any date, tonight Iris was meeting her girlfriend's pride and joy - her nine-year-old son, Gabriel.

She’d been looking forward to this all day, confusing the nervous butterflies in her stomach with excitement as to how it might go. Thinking it would be kinder to give her a heads up, Iris sent her a short ‘On my way over. 😘’ text before leaving. She spent the drive in a flashback to when Breeze had told her about him, or rather blurted it out as if he was some kind of secret. The two had been together for over a year and by now Iris knew the woman's mannerisms pretty well so could tell there was something playing on her mind. She'd never seen her quite like how she'd been acting that night. Breeze kept insisting she was fine, just tired, but Iris wasn't convinced so eventually out came the big reveal. Iris also guessed that Breeze hadn't told many other previous partners about him so she knew bringing him up was a huge deal for her, for them because it meant she thought they were going somewhere. Why else would she have said anything?

Yes it was unexpected but Iris' one regret, perhaps the only notable one in her life up to now, was how she reacted. No she didn't run away like Breeze had feared after rambling about how she would get it if Iris wanted to pump on the breaks or call it quits because adding a child into their dynamic was a lot, but she had (understandably) needed space and time to think things through, figure out what she wanted and adjust. It took a few weeks longer than she would've liked and that's the longest they've ever gone without talking. That is until the day Iris asked when she could meet him.

To this day Iris still feels a twinge of guilt about it but there's no time for overthinking now as she pulls into a space on the street outside. Getting out of the car, flattening down her clothes and fluffing up her hair a little, she headed towards the entrance of the building and pressed the corresponding buzzer, waiting to be let in by Breeze.

“Hey you,” she smiled as soon as she saw her open her front door and leaned in to give her a peck on the cheek. Breeze didn't often get nervous but tonight's an exception and once again Iris could tell.

"Hi," she greeted quietly, noticeably not exactly returning the kiss but Iris brushed it off. Breeze looked like she'd been rushing around trying to make sure everything was perfect. "It's… really good to see you," she breathed out.

“You too,” Iris replied softly. She was also nervous, naturally. It had been a long time since she’d been in this position: in a somewhat serious relationship and visiting her girlfriend’s home for the first time, but meeting said girlfriend’s son whilst there was a new experience. Yet somehow seeing Breeze helped calm her too. One of them had to be chill about this otherwise the kid would find the whole night weird and kids are very good at picking up on things. “Hey it’s gonna be fine,” she whispered reassuringly but also to try and reassure herself.

Breeze nodded, a small smile upturning on her lips. "The pasta's cooking. Pasta's quick and easy and I didn't have a lot of time to prepare. You like pasta, right? Stupid question, I know you do." She was beginning to ramble again. It's kind of cute seeing her flustered for once. "Gabe's in there-" she gestured towards the living room, "playing some video game or something. I tried to get him to greet you with me but you know… kids,” she shrugged. “You can go say hi if you want."

"I think I will," Iris smiled, "and then I'll come help you with dinner." She walked down the narrow hallway to the living room, taking in the house. It's nothing more than your average home for two people, a small but homely apartment. On the walls hang a selection of framed family photos of mother and son and some other people Iris doesn't recognize. They look close. She wonders if one day she'll end up meeting them too.

Poking her head around the door she looked at Gabe for a second, content in playing his game, and spotted parts of Breeze in him almost instantly. Iris smiled kindly as she slowly joined him in the room. “Hi, Gabe-” she began, unsure of how to introduce herself. She didn’t want to seem too formal or overstep her boundaries. She decided to keep it simple; “it’s great to finally meet you. Your mom loves telling me about you.”

He turned around and noticed her. Suddenly shy, the way children often are when interacting with anyone new. Iris has seen it before whenever kids visit her chocolate shop. So, she gets down on his level, literally sitting crossed-legged on the carpet floor. It helps because he mutters a shy hello and looks at her.

"Don't worry, nothing embarrassing. Hi," she said again. She's not going to force conversation on him or rush it, it will take as long as it takes to get past a two-letter word. "So what game are you playing? Are you winning?"

Gabe mumbles something that sounds like Super Mario. "Awesome. Love it," Iris tells him, watching his character on-screen before spying a second controller lying on the floor near him and being struck with an idea. "But you know... it's been a while since I played any video game and I don't think I've played this one. You seem pretty good; would you mind teaching me how to play?"

There's a brief moment's silence whilst Gabe thinks this offer over. Then slowly, very slowly, he begins to loosen up. He nudges the free controller in her direction and grins.

[diepower]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Kaiman     AGE: 27       CONTACT: IM, ask, discord

CHARACTER(S): Meninas McAllon, Orihime Inoue, Retsu Unohana, Mashiro Kuna, Tier Harribel, Charlotte Chuuhlhourne

CURRENT FANDOM(S): That I write in? It’s gonna be Bleach, OVW (super selectively im just here for one person), ASOIAF (barely- literally when the mood strikes and that one is private also). I have a lot of current interests in general though.

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: While I don’t have anything fully established... I’ve been working with an ASOIAF au (for Harribel & Unohana specifically, though I’m considering it with other characters too), A Dorohedoro AU (for Unohana and Orihime), as well as a Persona AU (more specifically 2&3) for Orihime. I’ve also got a number of post-canon AUs or continuities for all my characters as well!

MY LANGUAGE(S): English, super basic Spanish, barest ASL, fairly good French

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / SCIENCE FICTION / HORROR / WESTERN / ROMANCE / THRILLER / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / EROTIC / CRIME / MYTHOLOGY / CLASSIC / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / ANCIENT / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / SPORT / MUSIC / SCIENCE / FIGHTS / ANGST / SMUT / DRAMA

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: ONE-LINER / 1 PARA / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA (2para is a sweet spot but it really doesn’t matter to me)

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?:   YES / NO    ONLY BY MUTUALS?:  YES / NO

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / CASUAL NOTHING TOO DEEP / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK.

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO.

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. (i let them build up too often but some of yall are too quick to reply jkglfjdgsd)

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / MONTHS / YEARS / DEPENDS ON MOOD AND INSPIRATION, AND IF I’M BUSY

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / A RELATIVE OF MY CHARACTER (AN OC) / DUPLICATES / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / SELF-INSERTS / PEOPLE WITH NO AU VERSE FOR MY FANDOM / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS (italicized are okay, but under really specific circumstances)

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS  

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING:  I’m pretty anal about plotting in that I often refuse to RP unless it’s been plotted or I liked a starter call. And in the case of the latter, I’ll still hop into DMs to plot further depending on where the thread takes us. That said, the best way to reach me is through IMs or Discord (available on request). The only time I turn down plots is if I feel like it would put my character in an OOC situation, and I especially dislike my character being one-sidedly used as a tool to further another character’s development without anything being reciprocated (this happens often especially wrt my healer characters)

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: Communication is really important to me, especially with regards to comfort regarding certain plot elements, and approaching other in-character situations that might have multiple different solutions. I think it’s important that both characters involved get the same amount of development out of writing a thread, and I really hate the idea of being imbalanced as far as that goes (more on that below). That said, I’m always perfectly down to spitball plot ideas and tweak/refine other concepts because I really do enjoy plotting, it’s just super important to me that things are communicated clearly. I get extremely distressed and frustrated IRL if people just kinda throw stuff at me, and it often kills my muse.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: I make an active effort to come up with plots that are engaging and beneficial fairly equally to both parties. I mentioned this above, but especially in the case of writing my healer characters, I have a huge disdain for characters being used as tools to further development while getting nothing substantial in return. That said, I try to be very aware of this in terms of a potential writing partner being on the receiving end. IMO it feels like shit, but I definitely don’t want to make someone else feel that way either. That said, so long as stuff is plotted out clearly and me and the writer are both okay with it, then it’s fine. COMMUNICATION IS KEY, BASICALLY.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  I kinda just like to throw spaghetti at the wall and whatever sticks, I’m down to fly with. I have a lot of ideas, but again, I like to give my partners the option of doing whatever they’re comfortable with, and h aving equal contribution opportunities.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

- AND WHY?: Everyone has their own circumstances, I really don’t mind. If it’s one I’ve been especially looking forward to, I might be bummed, but it’s no skin off my nose really.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: I don’t typically drop threads or abandon them during their writing. The only thing that would make me do so is offensive content, or huge plot elements being introduced that makes my character ooc and wasn’t previously discussed during plotting.

WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

-AND WHY?: I already feel like I need to take a lot of extra steps to understand others and be understood, and that isn’t something often reciprocated. In my experience, just honest communication is the quickest solution to issues that crop up during writing. For those who HAVE actually had me reach out to them in this way, I really do try to be polite and respectful while being straightforward so the situation can be resolved without any hurt feelings.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: As long as it’s constructive, and not merely negativity, I welcome it. After all, I can’t fix a huge flaw in my writing without having an alternative solution. I’m open to accepting feedback and critique, especially wrt Meninas since my portrayal is quite a large departure from popular fanon perception (from those who choose to pay attention to her, lol), but I also thrive on suggested remedies and solutions to issues in my writing.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: I like to tell stories, and I like to tell narratives that take root in emotional expression and how those feelings can act as a vehicle to the storytelling. I want to move people through feeling, because it can be a powerful experience. I use a lot of inspiration from themes in my other favorite series, as well as inspiration from my own personal experiences as well. I tend to pick characters who have one or two traits in common with myself, whether those be negative or positive. I’m very excited to share all the things I have planned for Meninas, as she’s certainly my most ambitious project to date.

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  For Meninas specifically, I want to interact with Squad 11 and Squad 9 during the CFYOW verse I have planned. Hisagi specifically would be interesting because of the clash of ideals, in addition to being the only other living person to be able to relate to the horror of being under Pepe’s thrall. I’d also like to steal Ikkaku’s bankai, and have more fight scenes. Lastly, Meninas doesn’t do much of anything in CFYOW, so more interactions with Mayuri and Squad 12 would be cool.

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: I don’t mind briefly referencing darker themes in my writing, especially wrt my own personal experiences, but I want to be very clear that I refuse to write at length or romanticize these themes. I refuse to write anything involving rape, homophobia, transphobia, racism, pedophilia, etc, with this in mind.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: Unless previously discussed, I struggle with starters that have a character pushing mine away. If the situation is super OOC for my character to be in, or frankly too mundane. In Meninas’ case, most domestic stuff is a snoozefest for me (but I LOVE this for other characters).

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  *saoirse ronan voice* Women. UHHH but no, for real... I like fleshing out female characters quite a bit. Personality types are varied, but I like characters who have some level of nuance to their emotional expression whether it’s an internal or external struggle. I like powerful women too, and the exploration of “strength” as a theme (esp at the intersection of the theme of “femininity” and its expressions) whether this is external strength or internal fortitude. I think I play a wide variety of characters who have vastly different thoughts, beliefs, and forms of expression, but I try to find something in common with who I portray to act as a touch stone. I also like characters who have themes of “justice” and nuanced morality.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: 99% of male characters. And I also hate tsunderes gjklsdjfd

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I really like my writing style especially wrt using emotion to set a cinematic scene and overall tone. I think I’m really strong with conveying emotion, especially with things that are often unspoken. I try to communicate with partners clearly and establish rapports. I love writing headcanons and have a TON of plot ideas as well.

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: Oh I’m the slowest replier on the planet and I’m apparently intimidating lol

DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS (i prefer to go into detail about sensations, rather than the actual acts as it comes off stifled and weirdly technical)

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: Honestly I just do what Meninas tells me.

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: Kink stuff is weird territory for me, absolutely gotta be discussed in private and comfort levels clearly established.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO. Relationships in general rule, and while I do have a romantic ship that plays a large part in Meninas’ plot, the romance comes secondary to the plot itself. I really enjoy writing and developing romances, but more than that I like establishing connections. I love the relationships I’ve got planned with Giselle, Candice, Liltotto, and Bambietta because there are going to be a LOT of drastically different things that inform my portrayal of Meninas coming from these relationships (both positive and negative, but ultimately places of growth).

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. Like I said, plot comes first. And especially in the case of Meninas, she has a lot of self exploration and reflection to do before she can engage in a healthy relationship or address any feelings of romance. I do place a large focus on the formation of her relationships and how they shape the way she relates to other people and grows as a person, but I am extremely sensitive to making sure I’m not writing a female character who’s entire development is dependent on a romance with a male character- perish the thought lol.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU:  MULTI-SHIP / SINGLE-SHIP / DUAL-SHIP  —  MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: For Meninas, it’s a matter of her acknowledging, understanding, and accepting that she can be worth more than how useful she is to others. She had a series of traumatizing and character defining experiences regarding love, romance, and personal worth that strongly shaped the way she perceives her relationships to others and her emotional expression. Trust is another huge factor for me, Meninas needs to be around someone she believes in. Strength is another aspect. She likes someone who challenges her, keeps her on her toes, and is sturdy like physically. Because she’ll break you. THAT SAID- Meninas tends to be open wrt her body, but closed off when it comes to her heart. Hate to see it, love to write it.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. As long as the premise makes sense. I like relationships to have some matter of significance and planning, especially because of how I’ve written the way Meninas picks and chooses who to get close to in Silbern depending on what suits her interests. Genuine friendship is a weird thing for Meninas, as most of her relationships are formed out of convenience. If you aren’t useful to Meninas’ schemeing, then she has no interest in dealing with you beyond platitudes and keeping up appearances and will interact with you as such.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: WE LOVE DUPLICITOUS WOMEN! No, but at the core of my Meninas characterization, the sentiment is “Everything is not as it appears” even down to the relationships she has with others. Meninas’ entire personality is constructed as a survival tactic from an early age (in addition to being a way to make herself more useful as a tool to others, and thus seen as having more worth in general), and as a result, she hasn’t really allowed herself to live life as a fully realized person. Her plots generally offer silent rebellion, playing a role in regards to her self presentation, chaotic mean girl level bullshit, and cool fights/training. Also you get to interact with a big buff lady. That said about her personality, it depends on the verse. CFYOW Meninas will be more unhinged, while post-CFYOW Meninas will be more honest and rowdy.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  Muses who are standoffish or disengage right at the start. Meninas doesn’t interact with people without a certain purpose, so if they aren’t interested, she’s not going to be either.

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?:  Revenge, strength, redefining what “power” means in terms of how the world works. She wants to see the Shinigami dead for their role in her parents deaths, and feels the same about Yhwach.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  Ability, potential threat, perceived strength, where loyalty lies; how potentially useful you can be to her.

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?:  Strength both in a physical sense, but also in belief and convictions. Honesty, and understanding the flaws of the world they live in.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  Fighting, beauty, freedom, abolishing Quincy classism based on blood purity, music, fashion, blacksmithing.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: Blind loyalty to Yhwach, talking about the horrors of war as if it doesn’t concern them, Bambietta, Quincy supremacy,

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  Her parents were killed in the first Quincy war and she was left abandoned and grew up literally fighting for her life and living on the streets. She often likens fighting pits to the bowels of Hell (and I often play with the ironic theme of crawling out of hell to appear as an angel or something divine). She is consumed by a quest for revenge, and strongly believes her ends will justify the means taken to fulfill her ideal. As a direct result of these experiences, her emotional health and maturity is severely affected, and she doesn’t view herself as a person worthy or capable of feeling as much as a tool who, in the right hands, can be utilized to bring about the revenge she craves.

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  (1) Men who feel non-consensually entitled to her body. That said, she’s done a fairly excellent job at maintaining control and an unassuming threatening nature despite the widely known understanding of her Schrift ability and how it augments. (2) Someone touching her Quincy cross, as it’s her most precious and private item. (3) Anyone who dares get in the way of her plans that can’t be manipulated in some other useful aspect.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  Meninas hates Yhwach, and the Shinigami most predominately, but she also harbors disgust for Hollows as an instinct. That said, her young life was spent detached from Quincy culture (in addition to being a Gemischt and the inherent isolation that comes with that status), so despite her early induction into the Wandenreich ranks, Meninas does not harbor the same Quincy nationalism and loyalty that others of her race do. They’re a means to an end, and just happen to help her become stronger.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: She comes off as easy to approach, but if you want genuine Meninas I’m sorry the number you’re trying to reach has been disconnected. Goodbye!

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: Everything I’ve written about her is based in headcanon! I’ve got both a lengthy biography as well as headcanons gathered in the sidebar links on my blog.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

TAGGED BY: @bazzardburner​ TAGGING: i think this has made its rounds so steal it!

[thornewoodhospitalblog]

It can be absolutely daunting to log on and just stare blankly at an empty post. It’s quite a struggle, but have no fear! The Bee Sisters are here! There’s a light at the end of the tunnel and you will come out the other side. Okay, I’ll stop with the cheesy metaphors now. Read on for common causes relating to the loss of muse and how to revive inspiration by falling in love with your character again.

Problem 1: Stressful Personal Life One of the most common factors of lost muse is a stressful personal life. If work or home life has suddenly become unmanageable, it can cause writing to feel like a chore. 

Solution: We’ve all been through it and a brief hiatus in this circumstance can actually be pretty useful as they often give you time to take a step back and think about how you want your character to return to the RP. You know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder! Take the time to relax, write a list about what you want to bring to the overall plot of the RP and how your character can facilitate that goal and get hyped up about returning.

Problem 2: Loss of Direction Similarly, it can become very easy to lose all sense of direction with your character and get wrapped up in going with the flow with no big development occurring. 

Solution: This is a good time to take a step back, reread your character’s bio and reevaluate your character and their existing connections. Tap back into your initial inspiration for where your character came from and think about what may have gotten lost or has been on hold for too long. What were your original aspirations for your character? How does your character specifically fit into the overarching plot of Thornewood? What does this character bring that advances Thornewood’s story?

For instance, if your character’s bio states they’re a go-getter and strive for achievement but haven’t quite achieved anything since arriving at Thornewood, perhaps it’s time for your character to earn a promotion or be downgraded from the red/yellow floor to the yellow/green floor. We know going backwards isn’t intuitive, but sometimes it’s important to look back in order to go forward. Looking back can provide inspiration for a plot revolving around a new characteristic or a developing skill could result in further character development for a more exciting and adventurous route.

Problem 3: Lack of Connections  A big issue with writing in a growing group is that as new writers and characters come in, it can feel as though your character is getting lost in the crowd. It’s absolutely essential you continue to put your character out there to be heard! Solution:  Open starters (we have a post all about intriguing open starters, posted here) are the best way to do this! Read the other characters bios and if you see one that your character may gel well with (or, it might even be more exciting if they don’t get along) and you have an idea for a plot (this part is really important!! Come to the table with at least some idea!), message them privately and pitch your ideas! We are extremely lucky to have a wonderful and friendly group of writers here so please don’t be worried or afraid to build those connections!

Problem 4: Undeveloped Character Development Bear with me on this one. You applied with a bio that, at the time, felt strong and you had a lot of muse for but as you got to threading and creating connections and plots, your character still feels…the same. Unmoved. Unchanged by their environment. Don’t stress! It happens, I’ve done it! 

Solution: Now its pivotal for you to go back to your character bio and pick out one part that you know you’ve lost or would like to improve upon. Now, journal, self-para, create mood boards, take mun/muse quizzes or personality tests for your character, fill in an IC all about me, create a playlist of songs that relate to your character. Work on them from the ground up. Strip them back and find the parts that make them unique. (I will be adding some character development quizzes to the main if you find these helpful.) But, the aim here is for you to basically rebuild your muse from where it first began but with a refreshed perspective.

Problem 5: It’s Been Awhile There are many reasons why you may have taken a hiatus, and rightfully so, but now you’ve been away for so long that jumping back in sort of feels like a huge leap. The dash has moved, events have unfolded and everyone seems to be in the midst of a big plot. 

Solution: Before returning, set up a group chat with the mods and we will fill you in on everything that may have occurred in your absence. In the midst of this conversation, you can absolutely plot with us about how your character should return! We enjoy helping when we can and ensure a smooth transition back into Thornewood. Don’t let yourself suffer in silence! Communication is key!

Problem 6: Striving for Perfection  I know first hand how it feels to be in the middle of writing an important plot that you are incredibly proud of and want to be good and entertaining enough that the other writers in the group are interested in reading it, buuuuut there’s a fine line between writing well and wanting to write well that your ambition ends up scaring off your muse. Now, to be clear, we’re not saying don’t try to write the absolute best can! Please, do! Push yourself! However, we’d like to caution you that an unhealthy amount of pressure on yourself will kill muse.

Solution: If you’re staring at your reply and pulling your hair out, hit that little “save draft” button and walk away. I’m serious. Close your laptop, make yourself a drink and take a deep breath, or even move onto another thread you have. I’ll often give myself 45 minutes to an hour and then come back to the original thread. At that point, it’s like a fresh pair of eyes going over what you had before and you’ll suddenly see the mistakes and your second draft will be 100% better.

Problem 7: Insufficient Communication Okay, this one here is a biggie and I need you to know one thing before I start, when we say communication is key, we mean it. I can’t tell you the amount of times I have watched people lose all their muse because they are not communicating honestly and effectively with their RP partners. 

Solution: If the plot you created isn’t working anymore, tell them. If they’re all over the place and rarely on, meaning you can’t write with them, discuss it with them. If you feel you’re being disrespected or not listened to, talk to them openly and honestly. (If you’ve done this and are still having issues, please report such a thing to the mods as this is something we can deal with). If god-modding (you didn’t previously approve), meta-knowledge or meta-disrespect has taken place, report it to the mods immediately. This destroys all love for writing and your plots and can make for a tense and hostile environment which is not something tolerated here at Thornewood. Communication with your partners and mods is incredibly important.

Conclusion: If you got this far, wow! Thank you! Gold star for you, if there’s one thing this bee does well, it’s ramble. This guide has come from a very honest place because recently I have been struggling with a loss of muse and through writing this, I’ve used my own tips to bring it back. If you take anything away from this, let it be this:

Hiatuses are a-okay and a lot of the time, necessary. Please don’t lose sight of the fact that this is supposed to be a fun and enjoyable space and lastly, the mods are here to help, guide and support you in anyway we can. We are only a message away.

[drsilverfish]

Jung and Dean’s Journey towards Self-Integration in 14x11 Damaged Goods

I’ve posted here already about all the heavy Dean-and-the-closet metaphors in Damaged Goods:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182296360214/a-fridge-locker-an-enochian-puzzle-box-a-malak 

So, in this post, I want to talk about the continuing use the writers’ room is making this season of Jungian themes (in a micro-cosmic reflection of the larger cosmic scale on which those same themes played out in S11, in the God/ The Darkness storyline).

This extends my now developing series of Jungian-themed S14 meta:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/180906003584/the-shadow-14x08

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/181122764984/14x09-the-spear-jungian-decoder-ring-edition

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182257314199/what-the-light-and-shadow-tells-us

The two books which Dean takes from the bunker, to help him in his construction of the Ma’lak (angel) box (i.e. a huge Dean’s repression/ closet metaphor) are: 

and..

The second, Maria Prophetissima Historia Achengeli, is really interesting, because Maria Prophetissima is known as one of the first alchemists....

See her Wiki entry here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_the_Jewess 

None of her own writings survive, as far as we know, so it’s a pretty cool idea (just look at the SPN creative team’s attention to set dressing narrative detail!) that the Men of Letters would have a “lost” book of hers. 

However, some quotes attributed to her do survive in others’ writings, notably:

“Join the male and the female, and you will find what is sought.”

AND 

“Out of the One comes Two, out of Two comes Three, and from the Third comes the One as the Fourth.”

This brings us back directly to the psychoanalyst Carl Jung, whose ideas on the psychological confrontation with the internal Shadow, and (for men) additionally with the internal Anima (the “feminine archetype” in the subconscious) as part of the psyche’s journey towards self-development and integration are, as I’ve laid out in the previous meta above, driving this season thematically:

Here is an interpretation of Maria Prophetissima’s saying, about the “one, two, three” etc., from a book called Jung and the Tarot: An Archetypal Journey by Sallie Nichols (p108):

Using this Jungian framework, in relation to Dean, in S14 in general, and here in Damaged Goods specifically:

1) = Conscious (and currently repressing hard) Dean

2) = Shadow Dean (Dean’s repression, embodied by AU!Michael, who in turn is a John Winchester mirror, which includes his repression of all his trauma, as we glimpsed during the journey into his mind in 14x10 Nihilism, and his repression of his emotionally expressive softer side, the side that wants to hug Sam more when the world isn’t ending, and, finally, his repression of his queerness)

3) = Inner Mediator - this is Dean’s Anima, his internal feminine counter-part (which we could say Pamela Barnes represented in 14x10 Nihilism) - Jung considered the Anima to be a messenger between the conscious and the subconscious

I really loved @shirtlesssammy ‘s meta on Pamela as a guardian in 14x10, to which I added something on Pamela as a psychopomp, both of which link to her role as Dean’s Anima/ feminine counter-part/ mediator between his conscious and sub-conscious in Nihilism (see here);

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182196788399/pamela-the-guardian-in-14x10 

4) = Integrated Dean (i.e. eventual “endgame Dean”) 

Dean’s confronation with AU!Michael, can be seen as a metaphor for his confrontation with his Shadow:

Dean’s confrontation with Dark!Kaia, can be seen as metaphor (one among several manifestations) for his psyche’s conversation with his Shadow/ Anima:

Alchemy, was the magic/ philosophy/ early quasi-science of the attempted transformation of substances, with a history stretching from ancient Egypt (BC) through the medieval Arabic and then European worlds, into the Renaissance.

On the material plane, it perhaps most famously involved attempts to transmute lead into gold. But, on the philosophical and spiritual planes, that transmutation was a metaphor for the purification and ascendance of the soul. 

Jung was interested in alchemy because he saw the integrative work, which he believed was the goal of psychoanalysis, as a kind of “alchemy of the soul”.

Now, as well as Maria Prophetissima and the adoption of her ideas of alchemical transmutation by Jung, we have the demon Abraxas, another esoteric figure picked up by Jung in his writings, likewise appearing in Damaged Goods, contained by Mary Winchester in this Enochian puzzle box:

This box is another HUGE metaphor for Dean’s repression, which is why it’s really significant that Abraxas was locked away by Dean’s mother, Mary (apparently many years ago, before her death). Because Mary’s death was the origin point for Dean’s childhood trauma, and the beginning of hard-core repression on Dean’s part, as a coping mechanism. 

Nick (ugh) drills into the box to release the demon, and we can read this is a metaphor for the (eventual) release of AU!Michael/ Dean’s Shadow-Self from its prison of repression (given all the other metaphors about locked rooms and boxes and closets in the ep). Here is the demon-smoke (i.e. the shadow) of Abraxas released:

Jung, in very mystical terms, conceptualised Abraxas, in his book Seven Sermons to the Dead (1916) as the driving force of self-integration:

“That which is spoken by God-the-Sun is life; that which is spoken by the Devil is death; Abraxas speaketh that hallowed and accursed word, which is life and death at the same time. Abraxas begetteth truth and lying, good and evil, light and darkness in the same word and in the same act...”

“It [Abraxas] is the monster of the under-world, a thousand-armed polyp, coiled knot of winged serpents, frenzy.

It is the hermaphrodite of the earliest beginning....

It is abundance that seeketh union with emptiness.

It is holy begetting.

It is love and love’s murder.

It is the saint and his betrayer.

It is the brightest light of day and the darkest night of madness.”

Carl Jung Seven Sermons to the Dead (1916) (Sermon 3)

Yes, did I mention Jung was heavily inclined to mysticism.     

Here is a link to the Seven Sermons themselves, for the truly geeky amongst you 

http://gnosis.org/library/7Sermons.htm 

Abraxas has been linked to another mystical symbol Jung was interested in, the Ouroboros (the symbol of a serpent devouring its own tail) and we know we have an episode of that very title coming up soon (14x14 Ouroboros). The ouroboros originated in ancient Egypt and its meaning has shifted over time, space and culture (the Victorians often adorned grave-stones with the ouroboros as a symbol of resurrection):

However, for Jung, the ouroboros is a symbol for the integration of the conscious self with the Shadow:

“The alchemists, who in their own way knew more about the nature of the individuation process than we moderns do, expressed this paradox through the symbol of the Ouroboros, the snake that eats its own tail. The Ouroboros has been said to have a meaning of infinity or wholeness. In the age-old image of the Ouroboros lies the thought of devouring oneself and turning oneself into a circulatory process, for it was clear to the more astute alchemists that the prima materia of the art was man himself. The Ouroboros is a dramatic symbol for the integration and assimilation of the opposite, i.e. of the shadow. This ‘feed-back’ process is at the same time a symbol of immortality, since it is said of the Ouroboros that he slays himself and brings himself to life, fertilizes himself and gives birth to himself. He symbolizes the One, who proceeds from the clash of opposites, and he therefore constitutes the secret of the prima materia which […] unquestionably stems from man’s unconscious.”

Carl Jung, Collected Works, Vol. 14 para. 513)

http://jungcurrents.com/a-jungian-shaggy-snake-story 

This all links beautifully to the theme of S14 presaged in the S14 poster, of light and shadow - i.e. of the confrontation with the Shadow-Self on the path towards, eventual (end-game) self-integration.

Dean described himself as AU!Michael’s (i.e. his own) prison in 14x10 Nihilism  -  “I am the cage!”, and in 14x11 Damaged Goods, Sam asks him, “That’s your plan? You wanna be buried alive?” To which Dean replies desperately, “That door is giving! I can feel it giving!”

So, we can understand, in narrative metaphor, that Dean has reached a crisis point, wherein his own strategies of self-repression are no longer working - the door is giving, the mirror is cracking:

For now, Dean wants to go full pedal-to-the-metal with the repression, piling it on six layers deep. He want’s to lock AU!Michael and himself in a mystical Ma’lak box and drop it to the bottom of the ocean for eternity.

But, the harder you repress your Shadow, the more it comes for you... 

The key, according to Jung, is to turn and embrace it, and in so-doing, to discover your beautiful, hidden potential...

[isakvaltersen03]

Self para – Isak – Avalanche and the days following

Isak had really been enjoying the skiing trip. It had been just what he needed. Get out, enjoy nature and get back on skis. It had been so weird not to be on skis by October or even earlier. Isak ha wasted no time and been the first one on the slopes in the mornings and the last one back. Isak had even puckered up so much that he was starting to become excited for Christmas.

It was a nice cold morning, Isak, the early bird, had woken up early and had breakfast, he got ready and before the lifts were even turned on, he had his skis on his feet and was running laps, up and down the hillside. After the lift was turned on, he just enjoyed the day going up and down the mountain side taking the most challenging hills.  The boy was only about halfway down the hill when he heard a loud noise, it seemed to come from above him and he looked behind him. It was beyond any noise he had ever heard before when skiing. It was loud and after only a few seconds he could see the huge cloud of snow above him. At first, the boy tried to beat it, to go as fast as he could and hope the avalanche was small enough to just stop before it reached him. However, after a while, he could see that it was going way faster than he could ever go and it was bigger than he expected. Isak hurried and looked around wanting to find shelter or at least something to shield him a little. There wasn’t much, he didn’t see anyone around, but he saw a big tree. Thinking quickly, he figured the tree might help, it might make the impact of the avalanche less. That was the only logical idea that came to the boys’ mind as he stood there terrified. He moved as quickly as he could towards the tree hoping this was the right move. As he was about halfway to the tree, the avalanche hit. The boy had really underestimated the speed of the avalanche” lucky him” the avalanche had brought with it stones and trees and other things that had been in its way.

Next thing Isak knows, he woke up. The big cloud that he remembered surrounding him was gone but he was buried from his chest down. It was so cold; he couldn’t feel his legs. He screamed for help, but he got no reply. He started trying to dig himself up. It was hard, every inch of his body hurt, especially his head. He felt dizzy and nauseous, but the boy did not give up. He knew he had to get out of the snow and try to get back to the resort, at least make his way closer to get help. It took him a long time and he was exhausted and cold, thankfully he had good winter gear, or he would have been too cold to move. After hours he had managed to dig himself out but as he went to get up, he felt an excruciating pain. Looking down at his bright turquoise snow pants, standing there all his wight on hi left foot, he noticed a blood stain. Right there and then he knew it was not good, not good at all. The cold did numb the pain a little, but the pain was terrible.

The boy realized he was not going far on this leg, so he had to set down camp. He sat down and pulled himself over to a tree which had been moved by the avalanche. Isak sat down his backpack which had been well secured on his back and not gone anywhere.  He got out his pocketknife which had a saw blade on it and sawed off a few branches. He then dug through his backpack finding his matches and then started a fire. He needed it for heat right now. He then got out his first aid kit. The boy removed his snow pants and managed to pull up his sweatpants and thermal pants he had underneath. It was as bad as he suspected, that was an ugly break, probably an open fracture as there was so much blood. The boy started off by putting sterile bandages on to stop the bleeding and then he got two of the strong branches he had sawed off the tree. He tied it on each side of his foot to stabilize it. Isak was a boy who was against medication. He had a high pain tolerance, but now he really felt the pain so bad and he couldn’t take it. Thankfully he had ibuprofen and paracetamol in his first aid kit, so he took one of each and swallowed it with a sip of water from his water bottle. He then hurried to get dressed again to keep heat.

Isaks next thought was shelter. Therefore, he automatically thought snow house. His next move therefore was to make himself a show house. It was hard with the foot, but he eventually managed to, in the meantime his fire had gone out so he made another one in the opening of his snow house… or more of a snow hole. He placed it there so the smoke would be able to go up for someone to spot him as well as the light to help someone find him. He also turned on his avalanche beacon. There were moments like these where Isak was glad he had spent so much time out in nature and snow.  Cross country skiing sure had taught the boy a thing or two about survival skills, especially in case of avalanches. He could not be more thankful right now.

The next hour, the boy spent laying in the show house he had made, he had a blanket in the backpack that he could use for more heat. He had a thermos with hot dogs in it and another thermos with hot chocolate. He was so happy he had gone the extra mile this morning to make sure he got that with him today, cause the heat from those 2 things were a big help. Isak did everything to keep himself awake; he knew that if he would fall asleep now this could end badly quickly.  After laying there for alittle over an hour, he heard noises and soon he heard digging and a head popped in a meter from his fire in the opening. Isak was so close to falling asleep and had never been so relieved in his life before.

The boy was taken to the hospital right away where he was examined, and x-rays were taken. The break turned out to be what is called an open fracture where his Tibia and fibula were broken in 2 places. Isak was taken straight to surgery and the boy was put under. Waking up hours later in a hospital bed, the boy was confused to start with. Waking up alone felt weird, it felt lonely. He didn’t feel much pain which was good but looking around he could see the fluids he was given. The doctor came soon after and explained Isaks situation. The boys concerns were mostly the amount of pain relievers they had him on and how long he would be in here as well as how long it would take till he could get back to handball.  It would take 4 to 6 months to heal, Isak was told. That worried the boy. Being out of mission for so long, he knew his leg muscles would be a disaster, he would really have to work to get his strength and mobility back. This was a big set back to his career for sure, or his dream career that is. He was told he would have to stay in the hospital for at least 3 to 5 days.

Isak was not what you would call an easy patient. He could not lay still, he always wanted to get up and go go go. As soon as he was able to, he was walking around the hospital on crutches. He had talked the doctor into giving him way smaller doses of pain relievers. Sure, that meant he was in pain, but Isak didn’t like being drugged. He would rather deal with the pain. The doctor wanted to hold the boy longer, seeing how he was not resting much as it was, what then when he was out of the hospital? But Isak managed to get the doctor to sign him out on the morning of his fourth day. Isak was so relieved to get out of there and get back to a semi normal life. At least out of the hospital bed. Now he just needed to get ready to celebrate Christmas on crutches without his family.

[jcylenz]

4, 11, 16, 19 (if you want) 😚⛄🌈

ask meme for muns

4. Can you tell us about your 5 favorite muses?

In alphabetical order, bc I can’t make an actual top list ranking them, but I still need some kind of order.

Alice Fortescue - The one baby I played the longest and in most situations and groups. My actual baby. She is the mother hen of Hogwarts, has a knack to become a martyr for the causes she believes in, she fiercely loves her friends and family and suffers I think one of the most tragic fates in HP altogether.

Darcy Palmer - (tw death) Translator and interpreter who traveled the world and fell in love with a woman high up in a gang (unknowing of all of that) that resulted in her witnessing the murder of the woman she loved, almost dying herself and her own sister getting killed in the process as well. Now she has to make her way through life in witness protection under a completely new name and identity, separated from the rest of her family while having to deal with her demons in the dead of the night.

Glenda Chittock - My tiny baby who started out with her nose in between the pages and who felt more comfortable around books than around people. She barely did anything, barely experienced everything. And then an illness of her little brother opens her eyes and makes her realize that she has to go out and try things. Ans slowly she opens up, can communicate with people more. She has a never-ending knowledge that she always spurs out at people whenever she is nervous. She first works for the Daily Prophet as a journalist, and then eventually realizes that while her rambling doesn’t work in writing, she can’t get her points across, in a medium where she can talk, she can be captivating and interesting, hence why she starts doing her own radio show - which is the only canon fact we know about her.

Heidi Bergen - (tw abuse) Oh boy, where do I even start. This baby went through so much shit in her life to get to where she is. Happy first few years, then being separated from her dickhead father and older brother, her mother practically abandoned her little sister and her so she had to raise her sister. All of this turned into anger that she didn’t know how to handle, isolating her from everyone except for her own sister. She was angry at the world and the world was angry right back at her. She found a release in boxing, but the attitude and the need to push most people away remained - while also clinging to any romantical partner she had with tooth and nail, desperate to find somebody who wouldn’t leave her in the end. Resulted in her being in an abusive relationship that she could barely get out of and after she ran off to halfway across the country to make sure she is really far away from the dude. She’s a kickass criminal defense lawyer and in different versions of her she was either fighting with any kind of clients or specifically protecting crime syndicates.

Isabel de la Vega - My narcissist, self-centered merm whose backstory resembles the little mermaid’s story in many ways, but is so completely different from that fictional character. She arrives to Soapberry, a town where the supernaturals can openly walk around and be themselves, running from her past mistakes and failures and tries to make a new life for herself while also having a superiority in her, a constant need to be right, be the center of attention and not share anything personal about herself.

11. Can you tell us about your favorite ship?

Uhhhh, why are you doing this to me? How am I supposed to choose just ONE? I’m going to cheat and say top 5 here too because I’m horrible and can’t be helped. In alphabetical order, bc I can’t make an actual top list ranking them, but I still need some kind of order.

Alice Fortescue/Amos Diggory (@theeriinyes) - my first Alice ship that started out as a kind of “oh we won’t go there because it’s not canon” and ended up with us absolutely going there because we couldn’t help it. They grew up together, fell in love slowly. He was a playboy, she was the mother hen. He wanted nothing more than to keep his family safe, she wanted to fight in the war beyond reason or logic. They loved each other more than anything and it’s been years and years and I’m still not over them honestly. They had a baby in the mids of the war and after Alice suffered the fateful ending of hers, Amos visits her every day, hoping that she’d wake up one day and remember him and their family. And now lemme just go and weep.

Ariel/Eli - My first ever big otp in RPing. Ariel was my OUAT indie who was struggling with having her memories back, dealing with the real world and the fairy world being so different and wanting to leave Storybrooke to explore and have adventures while not being able to because of the border-amnesia thing, while Eli was a wandered who had a shadow inhabiting his body since he was a kid, they were one and a same at this point and the two of them accidentally met and fell in love and oh boy was it beautiful. I loved them so freaking much and even though I’ve lost touch with the player of Eli since then and it took me incredibly long to even find Ariel’s old blog, I still think about them sometimes and weep over how beautiful they were.

Darcy Palmer/Diego Chavez (@diegojaimechavez) - Honestly they came as a surprise I think to both of us because we originally planned to have a completely platonic relationship between these two, but then they both went and had feelings for one another and there was no stopping them. “Enemies” to friends to lovers where they were forced to work together considering Diego was charged with keeping Darcy safe, so even though they were constantly fighting with each other, they couldn’t just stay away due to their situation, and then slowly they started opening up to one another and realizing their own errors and finding the good and lovable in the other and now they are dummies in love who refuse to admit or say it out loud but still have such huge trust and respect for each other that nobody is breaking that.

Carlota Fuentes/Gianluca Romano (@pedrazamaria​) - I mean, any of our babies could be on here, I could have really just made a list of top 5 just out of our babies but I restrained myself lol. But these two. One is the daughter of the leader of a huge gang while the other is a drug dealer in said gang. They didn’t really notice each other until one night they hook up and then they fall in love without meaning to. One never really looked for love but found it with him, the other was never considered worthy of love until she came along and they were happy. And then shit went down, torture and hatered and misunderstanding and they are pulled apart and for years they barely even interact, only for a family tragedy to bring them close again. Him hurting her on accident, without intent, and then her hurting him back in ways she knows would cause most pain because she is trying to protect her heart. It’s a mess, it’s tragical, they probably should stay away from each other, but they love each other too much to not gravitate back to each other sooner or later.

Alice Fortescue/Evan Mulciber - Unfortunately I can’t tag anyone here either, and I know this looks weird and unnatural to anyone who knows just the tiniest bit about the Marauders Era, but I swear it worked and it was beautiful. Alice was the one who would give the benefit of the doubt to anyone, Evan was the misunderstood antihero, ruthless to most but fiercely protective over those whom he considered family. They dated and were arranged to be married. And then the Mary incident happened and Alice broke things off, but the arranged marriage stayed. They were platonic, but Alice still saw the good in him and he still considered her family. He was impulsive and she tried to think through things, he was blamed for so many things he didn’t actually commit and she saw through the lies and knew he wasn’t to blame. It was complicated and simple all at the same time. And as weird and strange as this pairing sounds, I loved them so, so, so incredibly much.

16. How long have you been roleplaying?

It’s really fucking insane to write it down, but it’s been close to 10 years now. I started RPing around the end of S1 of Vampire Diaries. It was on LiveJournal, I brought Anna back from the dead and played her in a Hungarian RP. After that, I transitioned to Tumblr and did an Ariel OUAT indie for a long while before I fell into the world of groups and the rest is history.

19. What do you miss about old roleplay? (Roleplay before 2017?)

The amount of time I had to dedicate to it. I actually started working in 2017, before that I was in uni and high school and I remember having so much more time on my hand. And with that I miss the speed that I could move plots along. These days a lot of the time I can only get through my replies and then I already have to go to sleep or have other things to do, while before I could just do back and forths almost daily and that was so great. (Then again, back then my replies were mostly like one paragraph long, now I prefer long-ass paras, so that might be a contributing factor in it too.)

[theoneryderlynn]

Self Para || Two Pieces

Location: New York, NY. 

Date: June 7th, 2020

Notes: While Ryder tries to think of the best idea of how to propose to Marley, his mind goes back to the past to remember how he felt when they started seeing each other. Just a little bit of college!Ryder.

"Marley Rose, will you…"

Ryder frowned, his eyes focused on the small box he was holding in his hands. He sighed quietly, hearing the raindrops hitting the window in their bedroom, and stretched his legs a little bit, his back leaning against the bed's frame as he made himself more comfortable on the floor.

"No, this sucks." While Marley was out for a bit, Ryder decided to make the most of this time, and think of the potential proposal plan. Even though he had a brief idea, he felt like something was missing, something special. He knew it'd be a romantic picnic, possibly on a rented rooftop, with some casual food from one of the best New York's spots. It seemed like a decent plan, but he had to come up with an addition that would bring back how they'd been feeling about each other ever since the beginning. His mind was definitely playing tricks on him, his thoughts going back to the past.

[Years earlier, Ohio]

Ryder adjusted his sunglasses, before wiping the sweat off his forehead. "He's so gonna miss." He mumbled and ran towards Nathan, one of his best friends with whom he played basketball every week. It was their tradition, which is why it made him sad that this game might've been the last one.

The brunette caught the ball right after his friend missed and dribbled, moving to the other side of the court. He wasn't the best at some fancy tricks, luckily for him, the next one worked out so well that Ryder found himself scoring seconds after. He grinned; it was one of the few times when he'd actually won. Damn right.

"He shoots. He scores. HE WINS." Ryder screamed happily when he was jogging towards Nathan, and gave him a high five as he finally approached the other one, "Awesome game, bro." The brunette patted the other's back and followed his friend outside the court where they found their bags.

"First win in weeks, dude. That was fuckin' intense." Nathan commented. Both of them sat down on the ground and found bottles of water. The day was sunny, it was really perfect basketball weather, something that did not happen very often in Ohio.

"It's so insane that you're gonna play for the NFL, man. Like literally...so amazing." Ryder said with a huge grin, he felt like he'd been smiling all the time this week, which was rare for him. Freshman year of college had been tough, it felt like things had started to work out for a change.

"I know. Movin' out next week, so this was our last game."

"Wait, you’re kidding, right? That sucks, but you'll be doing great things, so I forgive you."

"Maybe you'll make it as well."

A smile remained on Ryder's face as they spoke, and he shook his head, "Nah. I don't think football's what I'm meant to do. Don't get me wrong, it's fun. I love it. I don't think I'm a pro football material. Not sure what's my calling, but this major...business stuff is cool. My grades have been pretty decent this year, so who knows what I'll end up doing." Ryder replied with a small shrug, it was crazy that his Freshman year of college was basically done.

Nathan raised his eyebrows at Ryder's comment, "You're different today."

"Me?"

"Yeah." The other man responded, "You smile all the time, it's so unlike you. You don't really do that very often. I mean, yeah, you get excited about things, but I haven't seen you smile all day for a year."

Ryder remained silent. He leaned against his backpack and closed his eyes just enjoying the sun. He wasn't planning on telling his friend that he was basically having the best week of his life.

He heard Nathan clear his throat, "So, I was planning this farewell party. You know, games, pizza, maybe D&D. A good time with the team and my best friends. You're invited, of course. It's actually tonight."

Hearing that Ryder turned his head, and took off his sunglasses, 'Tonight?" He repeated, sighing quietly, feeling suddenly nervous, "I can't. Can you postpone it? You can't just tell me about a farewell party now. Come on, dude. Unfair." He tried to look offended, but he couldn't be mad at this guy for too long, "I already have plans."

"Plans? You have nothing else to do, it is known."

"I have a date," Ryder sputtered and shuffled a little bit on the ground. He noticed that Nathan had just punched the air.

"I fucking knew it." His friend grinned, "Oh, and the party's on Friday." He added casually as they spoke, genuinely proud of himself.

Ryder pouted, lifting his body a little and taking a seat on the ground. He took a small sip of his water, "You're insufferable." He nudged his friend playfully as they spoke, he couldn't quite believe that he got tricked that easily. The other man had played too many games with him, it explained why he could see the change right through him.

"It was easy to tell. You're not exactly yourself today, it's bizarre. So not used to this version of you. Don't get me wrong, it's a very cool version, just...a little bit different. First date, huh?"

"Second."

Nathan chuckled, "I bet the whole campus will be relieved that you finally asked her out."

Ryder started stretching his arms a little bit, shaking his head in disbelief. He really didn't feel like talking about his love life with his friend; however, the smile remained on his face. He felt his muscles loosen up a little bit, a refreshing change.

"You've never been too excited about any of your dates, come on. Everyone knows she likes you too, you know?"

The brunette rubbed the back of his neck for a moment and looked over at his friend shyly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." 

"Oh come on, dude. You've been in love with Marley Rose for ages. I'm glad you have finally left the "friendzone" area and have made the first step. I want you to be happy." Nathan patted Ryder's back playfully.

Ryder couldn't help but grin again.  "Wow. Does everyone really talk about my dating life?" He asked genuinely, putting his sunglasses back on, "I'm not really a fan of attention. But uh...yeah, I asked her out." He added timidly, was it really that obvious that he was utterly, completely in love right now? He thought he wasn’t that easy to see through. 

"Did you get to kiss her? How was it? Tell me everything." Nathan shuffled slightly closer to him, causing Ryder to laugh quietly. Not a chance. 

"It was pretty great." He admitted with a smile at the memories, leaving all the details to himself, "She's great. Everything just...feels right. Like, I'm alive again. Super cheesy, I know." Ryder added trying to find the right words to describe his emotions, his cheeks were probably as red as the tank top he was wearing, and it wasn't because of the weather.

"Shit, and those eyes." His bro teased with a nudge. 

Ryder blinked, still beaming. While knew Nathan was just playing with him, he couldn’t deny that. He punched the other on the arm playfully, "I'd freakin' lie if I said I wasn't into them." The brunette pointed at his friend, "I don't know...I feel like I'm ready for something serious. I know it's college, but maybe it's the right time for a normal relationship. Even though haven’t been very lucky for the past months, this is different. It feels natural." He stated honestly, happy that things were better, probably for the first time in years.

[PRESENT DAY]

He was snapped out of his own thoughts hearing Marley's voice coming from the kitchen. Ryder almost jumped and hastily put the small box in his pocket, just in case Marley would come into their bedroom, "I'm comin', babe! Be there in a moment!" He shouted, trying to keep it calm, his head turning five times in a row to check if she wasn’t trying to check on him.

He put the box with the ring inside into his drawer. Furthermore, he tried to cover it with some of his documents and book, so Marley wouldn't be able to find it. The brunette didn't expect her to look for it, he and his girlfriend had their own spots where they kept their personal things, even if they lived together, they respected each other's privacy.

Once that was done, Ryder started walking towards the bedroom's door but stopped for a second. He knew he was doing the right thing by asking her to marry him. It was quite obvious that she’d always made him feel special, right from the start. He was planning on making their most important evening together just as wonderful.