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pigeonstab · 2 days

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these are just sketches but I NEED to get these out, so! It is indeed going to be a college AU (is that surprising)

I finally got to draw my skinny jeans flannel Cross lol, I planned on doing a whole brainstorming thing to get an idea of where I wanted to go with it but what actually happened is that I picked up my stylus and blacked out

Basic premise is like, Cross and Killer go to the same college, and they meet and it's cute and stuff. Killer lives with his coven: Nightmare, Dust and Horror

Nightmare is a European (probably english?) vampire who's like 500 yo (easy that was already his age)

Dust would be like a traditional Korean vampire (I'll have to do research on dates and the inner workings of Korean society a long time ago cause I also want to give him accurate old clothing from that place and period) idk about age but definitely younger than Nightmare by at least a few centuries

And Horror is actually a wolf shifter. (Not to be confused with werewolves I will explain) but basically!! I'm hoping he can act as a sort of mentor for Cross later on? Like "holy shit that is a pup and he is very weird and does not know how to be a werewolf I need to fix him"

Killer is like a twenty year old (hence why he's going to college) and he is the youngest! All the others in the coven just stay at the manor while Killer goes out and stuff

Cross... Is an anxious mess. Who is also very big and bumps into everything and says sorry to chairs. The mark under his eye is the scratch mark that made him a werewolf.

And! perfect time for me to explain the difference between a wolf shifter and a werewolf. Wolf shifters are basically just 'werewolves' that were born that way. They are akin to nature spirits, werewolves on the other hand are normal people who either have been cursed (or maybe a wolf shifter that's forsaken or smth I need to choose between the two) or someone who's been bitten/scratched by an already infected werewolf. Most wolf shifters don't want to interact with werewolves.

Meaning. Cross was a normal kid. Got hurt by a werewolf at a very young age but wasn't integrated into a pack leaving him with no bond with anyone so no family. Cool. Bro's life sucks.

Killer clocks Cross' lycanthropy before Cross clocks Killer's vampirism, actually Cross would have to be told I think lol

#idk if I missed anything #my art #undertale au #utmv #pigeon's art stuff #killersans #killer sans #killer!sans #Vampire Killer Sans #Werewolf Cross Sans #college au

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wawek · 1 year

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I havent spoken to anyone in 5 days...

#barking #always funny to realise #i just went grocery shopping and i only said sorry to one lady who wouldnt move from in front of broccoli #and then she stared at me like i was HAUNTED. which idk why generally ppl were staring at me today but i think i look normal #or maybe not going out made me anxious idk #summer is always weird bc i dont leave my house and my house is empty bc my moms working in the mountains #and i dont have a job or anything to do really #well ive been cleaning but thats going terribly #i should find a jobbb but i dont want to and im busy cleaning

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mushroom-through-the-stargate · 1 month

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me, a wheelchair user, seeing a "in case of fire use stairs" sign : so just fuck me then, right?

#exactly one (1) time there was a fire DRILL in the hospital during one of my doctors appointments #keep in mind this was a RESEARCH HOSPITAL. somewhere guaranteed to have several wheelchair users #and we just sat in one of the stairwells and the fire alarm went straight through my head and made me cry #and the firefighter was like 'if this was real we'd figure out how to carry you down. but its a drill so we're just gonna chill here'#or something along those lines idk it was precovid so long time ago #and while i was too focused on being extremely anxious and overstimulated mum was PISSED there wasnt a better plan in place #also there are people not in wheelchairs who cant go down 20 flights of stairs wtf #maybe we should idk make fireproof elevators or other accessible fire escape plans #disability #fire escape plans

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sherlock-is-ace · 7 months

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the imposter syndrome i feel every time i even slightly think i might be autistic is insane, specially for a person who highly relates to the lived experiences of people who are professionally diagnosed.

Like I was just watching this one youtuber, and she was talking about very specific examples in her life and childhood where she saw autistic traits that made her realize she was autistic and then seek a diagnosis and then get one, and everything she was saying was like she was describing my life! But yeah no, I can't be autistic tho

#and one thing that has been filling me with dread (as if it was relevant lol) is the idea of seeking a diagnosis and #either not geting it because it's already so hard to find a diagnosis for '''''''women''''''' (afabs)#and that will make me doubt myself even more! but most importantly those around me who already don't believe me #but also i'm very scared about this one thing in particular which is the talking to your parents portion of the diagnosis #where the therapist will want to talk to people who knew me as a child... and that person will have to be my mom #and i'm pretty sure she will dismiss most signs. like she would either not bring them up because ''they're normal''#or play them as less important than they were #or maybe she didn't even notice them! because most of my struggles are internal!#things like being bullied or having no friends or liking a routine #idk if she'll be able to talk about all those #because my bullying wasn't violent it was mostly dismissive #my ''friends'' weren't really friends like i didn't CARE for them as maybe someone would have #and also they would leave me for no reason at all out of the blue... so i don't think even THEY considered ME a friend #and liking routine i guess she could say i prefered it but she doesn't know to the extent i hated going off it #i'm sure she forgot about the time i cried (as a 10 year old so not THAT young) because they made us change classroom #and i didn't know that was gonna happen... it was added to the anxiety that i thought my mother wouldn't be able to find me #but like the unknown classroom traumatized me (to this day i get anxious just thinking about that)#like... all those things i don't think she would bring up (if she could even) and i fear that will make me not get a diagnosis #not that this is a thing that's gonna happen cause as i established i cannot afford a therapist nor i'll ever get a diagnosis i don't think #so like it's not relevant #but i am anxious about it nonetheless #angel talks #personal #idk what's my point with this post btw i'm just venting and creaming to the void #dkfjhgdfg

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bunnihearted · 3 months

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🍰🥛

#i've been so good not complaining about this... so im gonna do it now :3 #early this week during my walk... a point in my shoulder / collarbone / neck started hurting so bad #it was at that level where your saliva production increases and you start feelings slightly nauseous #idk if it was bc it was so painful OR if the pain is at a point that puts pressure on certain nerves #and during the week i've felt it on and off but at a much lowe intensity #but this morning i woke up at 6am and couldnt fall asleep bc it hurt too much 🥴#i've googled sm but i just cant figure out at all what it could be... this doesnt fit any description #it isnt focused in my shoulder joint bc i can move my arm in all directions and degrees and it doesnt make it worse #anyway i read and read but i cant figure out at all what it is and that annoys me bc now idk what to do T-T #it could maybeeeee be that im so fkn tense and always have muscle tension in my neck throat and shoulders #it is possible that it now hit a specific pressure point and now i have a pinched nerve type of situation where my muscles are tensed up #or it is bc i could have done certain exercises wrong at the gym #im always so anxious and cautious abt exercising wrong but i still cant ever be sure if i do it correctly :(((#i might have used one of the machines for shoulders/biceps/back incorrectly #like maybe the seat has been too high or low :/// and now i've strained smth???#it made me so sad tho bc when i was at the gym this week i skipped all upperbody exercises bc im too scared 😔#i want it to pass bc like it actually hurts in such a weird and uncomfortable way like it makes me wanna puke and it comes in waves #but nothing makes it better like not heat not painkillers not stretches ... so im just not doing too much #and hope it will go away :'))) but also now im scared of exercising bc what if im doing it wrong and damage my body?!? 😭#i hate my body bc i have so many random unexplainable pains and it is so annoying >.<#ok now i've complained so i feel better ^-^

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butnotbubblegum · 2 months

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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, don’t read them if you’re having a bad day, they’ll probably not help in the slightest.

#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea #like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit #and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble #and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal #and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die #and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide #like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif #like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat #is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself #is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills #feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing #actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub #i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local #and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id #if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like #such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just #is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state #by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about #living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the #urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends #and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so #fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i #hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever #bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc #everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m #father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop #i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak

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vraska-theunseen · 7 months

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google how to not be sosososo anxious all the time. its not even like stress that motivates me to get things done it's just like. i make a mistake and misunderstood instructions in class and my teacher is like "you were supposed to figure out precisely where 180 was before taping the draft and punching your marks" when i like an idiot guesstimated it and after a moment of me going "oh..." bc its something i can't fix bc i've already punched in all the holes on the part he's like "i think you'll be okay" and goes back to what he's doing and then for three hours im like he's so annoyed with me i bring things to him too much and ask him too many questions and make the stupidest mistakes every day he hates me. i ask a friend something and they don't respond because they're busy or forget about it or don't see it or any number of other reasons and then a couple weeks later i send them something else and they don't respond for a few hours and its enough time for me to convince myself i said something a while ago that they took offense to without realizing and they're ignoring me and i send another message saying "are you mad at me did i do something can you tell me what i did so we can work it out" and he's like "what?". a friend posts about people treating them badly in a way that's clear they're talking about a specific phenomenon or person and im always like omg are they talking about me did i do something bad and not realize it... and its someone i talk to so infrequently and casually it obviously would not be a concern or someone i've known for so many years that they would obviously come to me if there was any conflict that arose. help

#alex talks #one time that friend from the second example had to rescind an invitation for me to come to shabbat dinner bc he said his parents were #hosting an important rabbi and didn't want their sons friends dicking around in the house and i was like ok i get it and then another friend #mentioned to me something that implied they were still going to the friend's house and i had 2 class periods to stew and get anxious and #paranoid and think like does he hate me? does he just not want to invite me specifically? do his parents not like me did they ask him not to #invite me specifically? and then in advisory we're both just sitting there and im like 'so do your parents hate me' and he's like 'what????'#and i'm like 'jakob said they were still going to your house' and he's like '????? my parents told jakobs parents they could come and stay #overnight bc their parents are out of town so jakob has to come over' and i was like 'oh. sorry' and felt so bad about it for the entire day #honestly? now that im thinking about it so many times i've been like manic in that friends dms about something they said that i've made 10 #leaps of logic over so in my head they said a completely different thing but to them i just sound insane and like i'm taking them in the #most bad faith i possibly can. which i guess really i am but i just get so worried #hm i guess manic is a specific word for a mental health symptom idk how else to describe it like i call him and leave a voicemail where ive #worked myself to tears over something i can't even remember now. maybe hysteric?#nobody reads these right

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opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months

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...

#ok. this is the fucking bullshit thing abt grad school. u go to fucking grad school bc u r a fucking tryhard nerd freak #who is either naturally very smart or ur so fucking anxious u r incapable of allowing urself to get a bad grad #and then u go to fucking grad school and everyone's like: man fuck ur classes. if youre getting streight As then u aren't focusing on ur #research. and theyre right. but u still cant fucking let go of the idea that if u get a bad grad the world is gonna fucking end and u r a #bad person. u didnt try hard enough. all this to say i have a final project that i put way too much energy into and not even in a good way #i would just open the document. start sobbing. and then close it and spiral abt how i didn't want to work on it. so its bullshit #i mean. its a good project idea ans i probably sound like i kno wtf im talking abt bc i do. i worked on that topic for 4 years but like #i could make it wayyyyy better. its bullshit. i didnt even number the citations to give more page space. i made section headers. i didnt #wrap text. i could add like 4 more lines of text if i wanted but i think im not gotta bc fuck it. ugh. i dont even. i fucking avoide #stochastic stuff altogether which i kno im gonna have to fight abt but like fuck it who cares abt randomness. i just wanna focus on the #predictably aspect of community composition. fuck u. i shouldnt have picked this topic. i mean. i had to bc its like the one microbe thing #i could do but its also like the exact topic that makes me wanna rip my hair out and start screaming. like jesus christ who tf cares? ugh.#i think id give myself a B if it was an undergrad class. but the standard is higher in an all grad class. ugh. i hate this. i should just #send it abd be done. i dont even kno when its due tomorrow. before class i guess. idk i felt like garbage today. fucking vertigo bby. i feel #ok now tho. so maybe the allergic reacting is over???? fingers r still arthritisy tho. jesus. im falling apart #ive got a pretty good sounding excuse for being lazy tho: owo i had an allergic reaction to my antidepressants 🥳 but nah no excuses we run #this body into the ground. like the good old days.#unrelated

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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 1 year

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Spoke to someone I don’t know over the phone, 11 dead, 32 injured

#I’m all flowery on here but in real life conversation I am the driest most uncomfortably pragmatic person alive #I’ve been scolded for being so task-focused that I forgot to say hello to the secretaries in high school when I went to do a task #or for having an “attitude” with my parents (often when I was purposefully trying to appear humble with an “idk” voice)#so I’ve amended that by fake laughing at everything and keeping my customer service voice on All The Time #0/10 it works flawlessly but I’ve also made myself into a socially anxious doormat #I’ve been the one to break it to people that their friend died on more than one occasion and I always feel bad about how I do it #I usually just blurt it out because I don’t know how to lead up to it other than saying “maybe you should sit down for this”#it would be wrong if I knew and didn’t tell them #so it has to be me… you know?#I’m so disconnected from any feelings of grief (I’ve never felt bereavement in my life) that it feels wrong for it to be me #because I’m physically incapable of sharing in their pain and emotions; I literally don’t understand it #but sometimes I’ll cry reflexively if I see someone else crying even if I don’t have any actual feelings for them or their situation #I’m more disturbed by knowing of people who are alive going through pain than I am by knowing someone died #because death is natural; suffering isn’t #unless the person is a child or otherwise very young #but if they’re old and lived a fulfilling life I recognize they’ve had a fulfilling life and hope that my life #is as fulfilling as theirs was when I go #I’m not afraid of death; I’d just like to not go before I’m good and ready #When I go away I hope that I WANT to go away; you know?

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vulpixelates · 5 months

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trying to find a balance between "module that's easy to understand and follow bc i am terrified of DMing and might cry" and "module that's not boring af especcially in the first adventure bc that might be as far as i manage to get through before losing my mind and i at least want my forever DM to have fun as a player for once" is killing me lmao

#apiewofoaiwjefaoijfew #i REALLY do not think she will find the beginning of waterdeep dragon heist compelling unless i make changes but like aoeifja #i'm so overwhelmed by the idea of making changes #i just want something i can follow from start to finish so i can MAYBE learn that DMing isn't as terrifying as i think it is 😭😭#trying to desperately not to talk myself out of this lmao #uuuugggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #she also suggested the lost mines module bc it's meant for newbies but i'm just like OIFJAEOWIFAOWIJEF #she doesn't even really use goblins in her own games she's not going to find this beginning part interesting at all 😭😭#and i'm so nervous about any other modules bc it's just going to be her playing + an npc i'm controlling who is a fighter but like aofeijao #they still might get crushed even if i have her start at like level 3 for a level 1 adventure. i have no idea how any of this works anymore #idk OIFJAOEWIFAE the last time i tried to run stuff it was all homebrew and i was so fucking bad at it #i feel like everything i did made everyone miserable lmao #any time i tried to like just go w the flow it didn't work #esp bc i get so anxious about it aofiejaoijfwe #i am so not cut out for this but my wife literally never gets an opportunity to play and she has DM'd me almost every single day for like #five to six years now faoewijfaoiwjef she deserves a chance to play and has been really sad about not having one in the past #so i have to try at least #*dykeposting

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munamania · 8 months

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best part of my day is gonna be the massive hit of pillow and blanky when i get home from work

#getting up was so painful today. and well yes it was probably made worse by going to dinner for my friends birthday last night #where EYE had to be bitchy abt service ppl bc it's the worst restaurant ever run by college students.#ok it was like two minutes of me being bitchy and saying 'go be a mean boyfriend abt it' but i was justified.#anyways. took forever to get out of there. woke up so many times during the night #maybe cause my body was anxious id miss my shift idk. and i wouldve only been sleeping for like. 5 hours max #and i cant lie some joy was restored in my heart talking to some of our buddies and i felt like a person again briefly #and im making myself do more things today even tho i barely wanna go to class. but that will be #once again after an amazing wonderful nap #just gotta make it thru this shift.. and well brother i am just sitting here #will not fall asleep #abby talks

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scattered-winter · 1 year

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woe another tag vent session be upon ye

#one of the girls in my class looks just like her. oh my god.#like im not being dramatic i literally thought it was her in my peripheral vision.#literally almost burst into tears in the middle of the room lmaooooooo #and then for the rest of the day every time i saw someone with her hair color i just saw her.#this shit sucks fr y'all i have never almost cried in public this much #and then i had to drive to pick up some groceries and fuck.#ive never been an anxious driver. i quite enjoy driving actually.#but i literally almost had a panic attack when i first pulled onto the road. i was so fucking anxious the entire time i was behind the whee #someone came up behind me pretty fast and i legit had to pull over to calm down it was so bad #so uh. not gonna be driving for a while lol. gonna kill myself or someone else doing that.#idk. idk i think this has me pretty messed up and i probably will be for a while. idk #my roommates and i finally decorated our living room and it was . fun. we laughed and made jokes and it was fun #but well. predictably i am feeling guilty over having fun now. which sucks ass from every angle #should i probably maybe make an appointment for therapy ???? probably ???????????#idk. might be good to talk all this out out loud yk. but also i Know i will cry and i dont want to do that.#sigh. anyway.#also predictably i cannot sleep. couldnt last night either.#i might go paint in the living room. i dont know.#anyway if u read this whole rant ily ur earning the veteran's pass to Winter's Breakdown Sessions #winter speaks #personal #grief tag #<- once again if u need to blacklist. will not hold it against anybody i prommy #tw death #tw panic attack

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pepprs · 2 years

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also the favoritism thing is still making me so fucking mad and insane btw. im not jealous / resentful of my brother bc he deserves her love and is also burdened in his own ways by it and bc i think my drama w my mom has shaped my life in profound ways and given me friends i cherish and i would never trade any of that for the world but jesus fucking christ. why do i have to beg you to interact with me like a mother. why do i have to talk to me at all beyond asking me to do you 847439473 favors a day. why do i have to beg you to take an interest in my life and apologize when you hurt me and be nurturing and perceptive for once in your fucking life. like it hurts to hear her asking him about his classes and whatever bc she didn’t think i was stressed out w school but i had to talk to a ****** hotline last decemver when i couldn’t take it anymore and my mental health was crashing and burning and it doesn’t even fucking matter to her at all and she’s going to get him the nice gifts and throw him the nice parties and whatever because she hates me and my sister for… and let me get this straight… being complicated and anxious and depressed and also girls. lol!

#purrs #delete later #sorry i knowive been insane about momposting but this shit has me screeching like an ape. the way when my brother was born she decided me #and my sister would be okay with each other bc we were twins and meanwhile she was leaving my sister to have anxiety attacks and me to take #care of her and all of this happening at like 7 years old and she would come into my brothers room every single night and kiss him goodnight #and talk to him for a long time and she wouldn’t even come in and say goodnight to us. LOL. ok. like our room being a depression nest is not #an excuse. us not helping out much in the kitchen or around the house (which is bad but also we have reasons for it that i think are valid #and i only do it here and not elsewhere btw.) is not a good excuse. you can’t decide you love your one kid more because he helps out and #keeps his room clean and whatever. maybe he is normal because you made it very clear from the time that he was born that he was your top #priority and you gave him your attention and didn’t take it away meanwhile my sister and i have always had to share bc we’re twins and she #cast us aside when he was born and has fucking tormented both of us for years over who we like what we want where we go all of that shit and #then has the AUDACITY to call herself a good mother. being a good mother is more than feeding your kid and projecting your childhood trauma #onto them by preventing them from ever developing cancer to the point where they’re afraid fo like. go outside. you have to be patient and #nurturing and kind and like.. motherly. ans i know no one can be a perfect mother and she has been hurt so badly and she is dealing with a l #lot right now but COME ON. for gods SAKE. i am right fucking here. why don’t you care about me? why do you make it clearer every day?#ask to tag #like the way she would say when my sister and i were growing up and going through it that she wished she could book a hotel and live there f #far away from us and miss out on us growing up so she wouldn’t have to deal with us being anxious and hormonal because we were teenage girls #LOL. totally did not impact me at all. totally is not a wound that informs every breath i take and every thought i have. not at all #* like maybe he is normal because you uh… idk. just a guess here. actually gave him the motherlove people need to be functioning healthy #human beings? idk. just a silly thought. haha

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justabunchofdragons · 1 year

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hello o7

#chaos.txt #aughhh im so tired. not enough spoons to do private life updates so im just... sending it out to everyone #uhmmm im doing good! have not made as much progress on my neocities as i wanted :/ studying is going well though #still quite stressed but less so because i have Been studying #working on a few new carrds + paintings #would like to do some digital art studies .. clouds and landscapes they are calling me ..#what else. i went to go watch astv again! it felt revolutionary in a different way the second time #but i cannot economically justify going again! excited to have it on streaming because i would LOVE to do some scene redraws #listening to worlds beyond number + very much obsessed. been also squinting at a few commentary ytbers cuz some of the stuff they say is..#not. great. i don't fully like em. hm. also been organising my files etc etc. made a cute notion that im not using! as expected #thinking about writing some fic tbh . had some epic watcher ideas a while ago that i would like to explore #im going to ... schedule this. for tomorrow. not in the headspace to . speak . to people. aa. its fine #i miss u guys. i think. i am so anxious and stressed all the time !! aagh. so dramatic. so dramatic chaos. what a mess. goodbye lads #see uuu all . in maybe 10 days .nods. maybe another life update in 10 days. because my exam is in 20 #this exam is so so so important guys. idk. why it feels more important than everything else ive done for the application process but it doe #and it. stresses .me .out. ok gbye forreal now

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monsterbisexual · 2 years

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things have been scary n hard n a lot but i do feel good sometimes..theres good things too they might not seem like big things or as meaningful but it still matters n makes a difference! things might get scarier n harder etc overall n probs will at least sometimes.. even when it feels like things shld be easy theyre usually not but im trying ! n thats smth i suppose

#p #work was so bad today had to socialize w family which went ok but not ideal situation for me after #might see a friend tomorrow n walk my dog n thats makin me anxious for a few reasons but mostly cuz idk how to talk to my friends anymore #for reasons that arent even only just me being a freak #the next day im having cavities fixed n itll take hrs #i rly to set up a dr appointment n its been ages cuz even for a normal appointment its v stressful n scary n bad for me #for a variety of reasons but i also just fuckin hate it #n this is cuz i think there coulddd be smth more serious goin on that ive been trying to ignore n avoid bringing up #cuz what if it is actually smth #n i cant even go on abt that rn (tired) but ive been..thinkin abt it #aaaand i need to try n get an appointment w a psychiatrist so i can maybe get back on meds again cuz i think itd be a good idea #like i think on em i didnt think they made a big difference but i feel like im way worse now off em so #n i hope i dont have to go thru the regular dr abt that cuz i got my refills thru them but i guess ill be seein her anyway n overwhelmed!!!#oh n the friend thing is scary cuz my lil group is all broken up now n i feel like im choosing sides when i hang out w some of em now #which sucks so thats the main thing abt that. ok enough bye <3 #idk what the original post not the tags even meant im tryin to be . positive! or smth jeez :/#dlt ltr !

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confetti-critter · 15 hours

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Social interaction where I got anxious over nothing and it got resolved with nothing bad happening but I still feel like I'm dying.

#would putting my phone in airplane mode n shutting myself away for the rest of the day help or make things worse? (not rhetorical question)#my brain feels raw and getting new messages is hurting it #at times like this where i had a day of going to stores and interacting with people that made me feel EXHAUSTED after and the next morning #i feel out of sorts and anxious and my shirt with a regular non tight neckline is making me feel like im choking.#my doubts about being autistic seem a little silly lets just put it like that #cuz god. i have friends that i regularly hang out with now but its so scary and confusing and i feel like its more trouble than its worth #(and maybe im not autistic i just have terrible anxiety idk)#personable

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