#or otis making that angry face in the movie

[grahamstoney]

My Top 10 Favourite Angry Comedians

New Post has been published on https://grahamstoney.com/anger/my-top-10-favourite-angry-comedians

My Top 10 Favourite Angry Comedians

One of the things that appeals to me about comedy is that comedians get to tell the truth. Especially about the things that piss them off. Many comedians adopt an angry schtick which gives the rest of us permission to deal with our own internalised rage vicariously.

Here are some of my favourite angry comedians:

1. Doug Mulray

I grew up listening to Uncle Doug on Triple-M in Sydney. I found him hilarious and suspect his sense of humour was forged in his youth because he had a great face for radio. His song I’m A Punk was undoubtedly unconscious inspiration for my own single Everything Is Fucked many years later:

My other favourite was Janie’s not a nun:

2. Ricky Gervais

I suspect it was Ricky’s frustration with religious beliefs that led him to write movie The Invention Of Lying. It’s one of the best commentaries of theology I’ve come across. His routines about the literal interpretation of The Bible are also pretty spot on:

3. Bill Burr

The modern brand of sexist feminism clearly pisses Bill off. He doesn’t suffer fools gladly and refuses to bow down to unreasonable demands just because the person making them is a woman. You can’t argue with his rationalisation of the gender pay gap:

Bill’s bit about radical feminist attitudes to the otherwise unfunny subject of domestic violence is also a hilarious reality check:

4. Lewis Black

Lewis voiced the inner voice of Anger in the movie Inside Out, and he was perfect for the role. He regularly reads hilarious rants supplied by the audience at the end of his gigs and broadcasts them live on his YouTube channel. His reading of this rant about Mormons is hilarious:

5. Larry David

Larry’s social awkwardness seems to be the driving force behind a lot of his comedy. Despite his huge success with Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm he says he’s still unable to walk up to attractive women and talk to them. It took me a long time to get around to watching Curb because I didn’t think an angry dude yelling at people would be funny. Turns out it’s hilarious:

6. Russell Brand

I don’t know if Russell is really angry or is just channeling his excess sexual energy now that he’s in a monogamous marriage. I like how he is using his fame as a platform for positive social change. This MSNBC interview where he turned the tables on the interviewers after they talked about him in the third person is pure gold:

7. George Carlin

Once he adopted the attitude “I don’t give a shit”, George became a fearless social critic. He was particularly critical of religion and what he saw as stupidity in authority figures. His Filthy Words routine challenged censorship all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court:

8. Jim Jefferies

Jim is a fellow Australian whose comedy is sometimes a little too depressive for me. I suspect he could use some serious therapy. However his bit on gun control in the United States absolutely nails it:

9. Rich Hall

Rich often performs as his redneck alter-ego Otis Lee Crenshaw, but it was the song expressing his disappointment with Bob Dylan had me laughing so hard when I first heard it at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival In 2016 that I could hardly breathe:

10. Bill Hicks

I suspect the rage behind Bill’s comedy was fueled by anger at his overly conservative fundamentalist Christian parents. He had little respect for his father and was greatly distrustful of authority figures. Some of his acerbic comedy seemed paradoxical; for instance he spoke positively about his experiences with drugs yet became dependent. He was a heavy smoker and died way too early of pancreatic cancer. Check out his final Letterman appearance that wasn’t broadcast until years after he died:

Bonus: Don Rickles

Don Rickles was the original insult comic. Being picked on by Mr Warmth became a badge of honour in the entertainment industry. Nobody has come close since. I think he was only pretending to be angry but I like his style so he’s here as a bonus. Here’s my favourite line:

[vincent-sinclair-deserved-better]

You won't go lonely into this fight, if you just hold me we will survive

Characters: Ghost, Doe Eyes, Baby

Words: 2321

Content warnings: Christianity, religious trauma/guilt

divider by firefly-graphics

After I had talked to Otis and seen Blinky leave, I was about to pick back up what I’d been doing when that woman had arrived, but just as I was about to start taking down the curtains, Manon came up to me. “Hey Selena, how are you doing?” 

“Oh, I’m okay,” I replied, just quickly glancing over my shoulder, “Why are you asking?” 

“You just seemed a little... out of it earlier. But I guess it makes sense if the situation overwhelmed you,” she continued, “Also... you obviously don’t have to explain yourself, but I still wanted to ask what you meant when you said you ‘roughed Blinky’s mum up a little’?” 

I shrugged. “Uhm, you know. This and that. Didn’t want to get into Otis’ way, so I mostly fell back on my own experiences. I thought it would affect me more than this, but I’m feeling okay. Seeing Blinky so upset and then hearing what their mother said just made me really angry, and I wanted to hurt her. It was a little strange, but it worked out.” 

“You... know that sometimes it can take a while for those kinds of experiences to actually start affecting you in a more negative fashion?” Manon said, and I finally turned to face her. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, some people hit a sort of low as soon as the adrenaline decreases again. After their first time killing someone, Blinky got really distant and needed some time alone for a while, but Otis kept an eye on them to make sure they were alright. Some people apparently start to feel really guilty or panic. And that kinda stuff can happen immediately, or hit some time later. It’s difficult to predict,” she explained. 

I thought about this for a moment, before responding, “I mean, right now I’m okay. And if something changes... I’ll just have to deal with it, I guess.” 

“Do you mind if I just stay around? I don’t want to hover or monitor your actions, but I’d feel better if I knew there was someone around in case you get upset,” she said, fidgeting with her rings, “And I could help with the curtains. I’m done with the other laundry anyway, and cleaning these can be quite a... chore.” 

“That is true,” I replied, smiling at what I figured had been a pun, “I think the drapes from the living room probably won’t fit the washing machine. The kitchen curtains should be fine if you put them into... a pillow case?” 

Manon nodded. “Yeah, that seems about right. We’ll have to check the materials and if they have any labels with instructions, but other than the living room everything should be fit for the washing machine.” 

“What about that... show room, with the stage? It’s got big drapes as well, doesn’t it?” 

“Oh, yeah, it does,” she said, “I’ll have to ask if it’s even possible to take those down, and then we’ll have to see how best to wash them.” 

“In the convent we only ever washed things by hand,” I commented, “But I don’t think that even together we’d manage both those and the living room ones.” 

She sighed. “Well, let’s get started then. The sooner we begin, the sooner we’ll be done.” 

Unsurprisingly, I did end up “hitting my low”, though it was only after all the work had been done, dinner served, and a movie. Manon had even managed to convince me to take a shower. But once I was in bed, alone with my thoughts, it was like the world came crashing down on me, guilt over what I had done and fear of what it meant for my soul like weights crushing my chest. And, completely unexpected, quiet anger and... grief? 

It wasn’t only about today’s happenings, but the past as well. Somehow all the talk had managed to let memories resurface that I had completely forgotten about. The helplessness I had felt whenever someone else had been mistreated, the anger and hurt over my parents despising me while doting on my siblings. The constant fear of doing something wrong and getting punished. Longing for a normal life, to be loved, to be different. 

I’d been told that I was bad, evil by nature, and only here had people managed to make me feel normal. Like, maybe, there was nothing wrong with me and I had been lied to. Yet, what the family was doing was wrong and bad, evil, and today I had given into those dark urges – so maybe Reverend Lael and my parents and the priest and nuns had been right all along? What if there was a heaven and hell, and I had completely doomed my soul? Then again, the Sisters had said that I was beyond salvation anyway, so did it really matter? 

A knock on my door startled me and tore me from my thoughts. 

“Ghost? You still awake?” came Baby’s voice from the hall. 

“I- yeah, I am. Come in.” 

She opened the door with unusual gentleness, normally she didn’t care much for how much noise she made, even in the middle of the night. “Doe Eyes mentioned that you had your first... outburst today, and was all concerned that you might end up feeling bad. She’d asked me to ask you to sleep in my room, buuut I kinda forgot.” 

“But just now RJ came back from apparently walking the dog, whyever he felt the need to do that in the middle of the night, and woke me up to give me more details. He didn’t right out say that he’s worried, but he also pointed out how well you’ve seemingly taken it, and we all know that’s not usually how things work.” 

I didn’t know how to respond to that, and Baby reached for the light switch before changing her mind. “You still got that candle and lighter over there?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You mind making some light? If not, I will,” she stated and I sighed, lighting the candle. 

Baby just stared at me for a moment. “Wow, you look like shit.” 

“Gee, thanks Baby, you flatter me.” 

She huffed. “No, I mean, like... you literally look like a ghost, and it’s not just the lighting. Really pale, even for your standards, and just. I don’t know. More like Ghost we met weeks ago, who was all caught in her head and unhealthy thought patterns.” 

“I’ll be fine.,” I said, trying to brush her concerns off, but she clearly wasn’t buying it. Without any further questions, she stepped into the room, closed the door, and plopped down on the bed. 

The way she looked at me was scrutinising, and I felt like she could see right through every and any wall I had built around my true thoughts and feelings.  

“Alright, out with it. What’s bothering you?” she said, though it felt more like and order than a question. “I’m not gonna judge you or anything, but if I don’t know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, I can’t help you.” 

I let myself fall back onto my pillow. “What if there is no way to help me? What if I am beyond saving?” 

“Oh no, it really is that religious shit again, isn’t it?” 

I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m trying not to... think like this, but. It’s just-” 

“I don’t understand why I am like this; I don’t really judge you or think badly of you all. I don’t worry about your souls or think you’re going to hell. It’s like, in my head, those concepts just don’t apply to you. But when it comes to me it’s just like... like everything they said is true. Like maybe I am evil.” 

Baby crawled up the bed and laid down next to me, propping her head up on her hand so she could look at me. “They really left an impression on you, huh?” 

I chuckled. “Twenty-four years of being constantly told there’s something integrally wrong with you can do that, I suppose.” 

“Aw shit, you’re right,” she said, “They've been feeding you that crap all your life.” 

“M-hm.” 

“You know, I’m not good with comforting, especially not when it comes to all this religious stuff, but here’s what I think,” she began, sounding surprisingly serious, and when I looked over her expression matched. “From what I’ve heard that woman is an absolutely disgusting piece of shit who doesn’t deserve to be called mother, and deserves everything both you and Otis have put her through so far. Like, if anything, this is justice or something. And even still you’re one of the... best people here, when it comes to ‘sins’ and stuff. Like, in comparison to everyone else you might as well be a saint.” 

“Manon hasn’t hurt or killed anyone so far though,” I added. 

“Pff, so what? She’s done other stuff that’d probably be considered sinful, while you’ve been nothing but a proper Christian girl,” she said, “At the very least she’s been doing naughty stuff with Otis while you’re a pure innocent virgin.” 

I blushed furiously at that. On the one hand because Baby talked so freely about such a shameful topic, on the other hand because I didn’t even know what she meant by “naughty stuff”, while she clearly expected me to know.  

“What about all the things I said though, and the way I treated the rosary? I’m sure a lot of it was wrong and basically lies, and I am certain all of my actions could be seen as blasphemous-” 

“So what? Who's gonna judge you? God? Cause then he better judge your nuns and all of those assholes as well,” Baby interrupted me, “You really think all of those pretentious, self-important clergy people always told the truth? Didn’t make up lies and stories just to intimidate and scare you into submission? Like that whole speech about albino people was one hundred percent made up, nothing holy or God-send in that. If he had any kind of vision he was probably on drugs.” 

She was right. I knew she was – they Sisters and priests, everyone really, had constantly lied, and I had known. They'd made up ‘facts’ and contradicted each other, changing their stories for what best fit the situation. 

“And about that rosary, didn’t you say something about just... recreating your own experiences or something?” she continued. “I know they beat and whipped you and whatnot, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there literally had been blood on that thing. If not that, then some other one. They do seem to love their symbolism after all.” 

I hadn’t even noticed that I’d started to cry until Baby reached out and wiped some tears from my cheek. “Oh shit sweetie, I’m sorry, didn’t mean to make you cry.” 

“No, no, it’s alright,” I said shakily. “It’s just- you're right. That's why I used it. It had been used as a means to inflict pain and punish, they’d give me lashing, burn me, or make me pray for hours until my knees bruised. There is nothing sacred about it. They tainted it long before I could, if using a rosary to hurt others is blasphemy, then they are much worse than I could ever be.” 

Baby pulled me against her chest and started to soothingly rub my back. 

“I was just a child,” I whispered, voice breaking on the last word. “I just wanted to be good enough, but nothing I did sufficed. The only gift I ever received was turned into an implement of torture, that’s what its intention had been from the beginning. They never wanted to fix or help me, only hurt and punish. No one was sent to the convent to find redemption; it is nothing but a prison. No one escapes.” 

“You did, though,” Baby said softly, “And though we may not be good people, no one here’s gonna hurt you. Or allow anyone else to. We protect our own, okay? And you’re family now.” 

I held onto her as if she’d just disappear if I let go for even just a second. “You mean it?” 

She huffed a laugh. “Of course, I mean it. Blinky chose you, you apparently even managed to win RJ over – and he doesn’t even like Doe Eyes or Blinky. Mama adores you too, even more so now that you’ve taken it upon yourself to clean those damn curtains. Hell knows no one else here would have wanted to.” 

“Okay then,” I said, feeling much calmer than before Baby had come by. 

“You think you’ll be able to sleep now?” she asked, pushing my hair back so she could see my face. 

“I... yeah, I guess. I’m definitely feeling better,” I replied, playing with the edge of the blanket. “I- I’m sorry, not trying to be weird or anything, but can you maybe stay for a little longer? Just till I’ve fallen asleep?” 

Baby laughed at that, but it didn’t sound mean or mocking. “’course I’ll stay, you think you’re getting rid of me that easily? Just lemme grab another blanket and pillow from my room.” 

“Okay,” I said with a relieved smile. She jumped up from the bed and ran out of the room, only to return seconds later with her own blanket and at least three pillows. 

“Scoot,” she instructed me before depositing her stuff on the bed. “Let’s get some rest now, and maybe tomorrow we can check out what Otis has done to that miserable excuse of a person if you want.” 

I grinned, “Sounds fun.” 

“See, that’s the right attitude,” she said, before turning to blow out the candle, “And Ghost? You can always come to me if something’s bothering you, okay? Don’t let those stupid thoughts mess with your head.” 

“I’ll try to keep that in mind,” I responded as the room was shrouded in darkness once again. “Thank you.” 

@immortal-velociraptor @myers-meadow

tfw the hand-holding dividers looks adorable but are hardly discernable in regular dark mode x.x

[thebookreader12345]

750 Followers Celebration - Q&A

Thank you so much for supporting me through this journey! You guys don't know how much this means to me. Every single one of you is amazing.

Below the cut are my answers to the questions that you all submitted.

Q: Do you think Jay is going to become Sergeant this season? A: There has been a lot of debate over this question because of the past few seasons and all of the "Easter eggs", like the sergeant exam poster hanging in the background of the show. In my opinion, I do not believe Jay will become Sergeant. Yet. I think it won't be until the beginning of next season because, if this is a possible storyline, I would expect that the producers and writers would make the finale of season 9 about Voight stepping down/getting promoted, etc.

Q: Did Chicago Justice deserve more episodes? A: I'm sort of split with this question. I loved the fact that there was a big episode involving Kevin, and they always included people from Med, Fire, and PD in some of the episodes. However, the whole plot of the episodes was kind of slow because it wasn't like they were police officers and could go out and chase suspects and arrest people and what not. Their job was just to gather the evidence and then present it in court. I think for many, the show fell flat because there wasn't much action, and part of me does agree with that, but the whole idea of the show itself was kind of cool.

Q: What would make you stop watching each Chicago show? A: This is a tough question because I've only ever dropped one show that I can think of, and it was only because the plotline got really dumb. Maybe if some major characters died in each show I'd stop watching it? But then again, I love the One Chicago universe so much that I don't think even that would stop me from watching. So yeah. I really don't know.

Q: Do you believe in magic? A: As much as I would love for magic to be real, I don't believe it is. But I feel like everyone thinks that way. Cause lets be honest, Harry Potter and Disney make magic look so cool. However, we all know deep down somewhere that it's almost impossible for certain things to be real, and magic just so happens to be one of them.

Q: Are you superstitious? A: I'm not the most superstitious person out there, but I do somewhat follow a few superstitions. Whenever I find a penny on the ground with heads facing up, I pick it up because I believe I'll get good luck. Doing the whole "fingers crossed" thing is something I do a lot. I believe you shouldn't open an umbrella in the house or else you'll receive bad luck. Broken mirrors are bad omens. Those are the top 4 I believe in, but other than that, I'm not really too superstitious.

Q: Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? A: I mean, I would hope so. I appreciate my level of smarts, and whenever my friends acknowledge them or compliment me on them it makes my day. However, with that, people think that I'm always only doing things to boost my intelligence. For example, I love to read. So whenever I say that I didn't do much over the weekend, people always assume that I read a bunch, when I really didn't. Or that I always study for tests or do homework like a week before it's do. That is not the case. But for the most part, I believe my perception of myself is the same as how other people perceive me.

Q: Who is your favorite couple on each One Chicago show? A: Okay, so for Med, there aren't really any couples at the moment besides Maggie and Ben, whom I love but they aren't my favorite, so I'm gonna pick a past couple. When I first started Med, Manstead was my prime ship, so I'll choose them. Will had been pining after Natalie for so long so I was glad when they finally got together. For Fire, it's gotta be Kelly and Stella. They were literally made for each other, and they support each other with everything. Also, they are so cute together and all of Firehouse 51 ships them as well! And for PD, while I do love Burzek, Upstead is my favorite ship at the moment. I've seen the connection between Hailey and Jay since season 5. You don't understand how angry I was in season 7 when Hailey was so close to confessing her feelings. So season 8 made me very happy when Jay and Hailey finally got together.

Q: Jay and Lindsey or Jay and Hailey? A: I respect everyone's opinions on this matter, so hopefully you all respect mine. I thought that Erin was almost toxic in a way for Jay. She continuously broke his heart when all he wanted to do was help him. But what really does it for me is that she left Chicago without telling him goodbye. Hailey, on the other hand, has pushed Jay to seek out help when he needed it, like when she recommended he take seeing a therapist seriously to help with his PTSD, and she is always there for him, no matter what. That's why I believe Hailey and Jay are the better pairing.

Q: Which character death got to you the most? A: There have been too many sad deaths in the One Chicago world. But if I had to pick one, I've gotta go with Otis on Chicago Fire. Otis was always one of my favorite characters, even way back when I watched Fire with my dad when it was first coming out. He was witty and funny, and his friendship with Cruz was everything. So, when I watched the episode where he died, I was full on balling. I had to pause the episode for 10 minutes because I couldn't stop.

Q: Who is your favorite character on each show and why? A: I'm gonna do favorite male and female character because I've got too many favorites from each show. On Med, my favorites are Will and Natalie. Will has been my favorite since day one, and I like that he will go out of his way to help patients, even if it means he could get in serious trouble. Natalie, even though she's not in the show, always pushes for the best of care for her patients, and whenever she dealt with kids it was always the sweetest thing. On Fire, I like Kelly and Sylvie. Kelly is so headstrong and driven, and he will do anything to protect the other members of Squad 3. Sylvie is such a hard worker and you can tell she is passionate about her job. I feel so bad that she's had to go through so many partners. On PD I love Jay and Hailey. Jay has not always been my favorite male character. Back when I watched the show for the first time, I adored Adam. However, I love that Jay has such good morals and is always pushing to do the right thing even when Voight disagreed. Now, it took a few episodes for me to warm up to Hailey, but after seeing her be so badass, it was hard not to like her.

Q: Where do you get inspiration for your stories?/How do you get inspiration when there's not a request? A: This question is always hard to answer because I really don't know. Most of the time I'm fulfilling requests sent in by you guys and I just write what comes to the top of my mind. If there are requests that are not requested and I come up with them on my own, chances are I saw the plot somewhere else, like in a book or show or movie, and I just tweaked it a bit to fit the One Chicago universe. Either that happens, or while I'm trying to fall asleep, I make up random scenarios in my head, and if I find one that I really like, I'll make a note of it on my phone so I don't forget it, and then I'll write about it.

Q: Do you think Brett and Casey are endgame? Why or why not? A: I'm gonna go with yes on this one. Now, Brettsey is not one of my top ships in the universe. However, they are cute together, and I've been expecting them to get together for a while. The two of them, even when Gabby was around, had a great relationship and always cared for each other. Plus, Matt jumped out of a firetruck to go help Sylvie when the ambulance flipped. He was willing to risk an injury just to make sure she was okay. And now that they are officially together in Chicago Fire, you can see that they really love and care for each other.

Q: What inspired you to start writing? A: I always seem to get this question whenever I do a q&a, but that's okay because I don't mind talking about it. I first got into stuff like this as a reader. Basically, I went on to Wattpad and Tumblr to read other people's stories. I had no intention of creating my own. And then, one day, I started imagining myself in some of the fandoms I was apart of, and I thought, "If I'm imagining myself in these fandoms, chances are others are too," and I began creating stories that followed the plots of movies and shows exactly, just adding Y/n in it. However, that got tiring after a while because I wasn't able to have much freedom because I was following a set script, and that's when I remembered I had a Tumblr account I never used. So, I revamped my account just a little bit and started posting story ideas I had that I couldn't post on Wattpad because either they didn't fit with the stories or they were for someone I didn't write for on Wattpad. And now, here we are. For anyone interested, I've posted this before but I'll post it again, my Wattpad handle is @Writer_Reader05.

Q: Jay or Will Halstead? A: I'm sorry, but I really can't choose between the two of them. I love them both so much. Will and Jay are two of my favorite characters in the whole One Chicago universe. While they do have some qualities that I'm not the fondest of, at the end of the day, I adore the both of them, and I could never choose between them.

Q: Who would you rather date: Jay or Will Halstead? A: Why do you guys do this to me? I love them both so much! But, if I have to choose, I'm gonna pick Jay. The only reason is because I like the characters in PD more than Med, so if I'm dating Jay, chances are I'm friends with Hailey and Adam and all of Intelligence. Will is just as awesome as Jay though and I feel like sometimes people sleep on that.

Q: Which of the requested fics you’ve written is your favorite? A: I think I'm gonna have to go with a Jay Halstead x reader I wrote titled Two Becomes Three. Something about the plot just makes me smile. And to think of Jay being a father......So yeah, while I have so many amazing requested fics thanks to you all, that one has to be one of my favorites.

Q: What’s your favorite series you’ve written so far? A: I love all of the series I have written. Something about creating a whole story that's more than just one part is always fun. If I have to pick one series, I'm gonna pick On the Loose. It was the first series I wrote on Tumblr and the plot of it is something I'm really proud of. However, From the Big Apple to the Windy City, Identity Loss, and Difference of Opinion are all amazing! The first two are finished series and the last one still has a few chapters left to go. Go check them out if you haven't already.

Q: What's your favorite imagine you've come up with and why? A: I don't have a lot of fics that are solely my ideas. Most of my stories have plots that were sent in by you all. However, if I had to pick a favorite out of my stories, it'd be Back Home for Christmas, a Halstead Sister fic I released when I was somewhat new to the platform. Something about writing sibling fics always makes me happy because I get to express the familial side to the characters.

Q: If you had to be roommates with 5 of your mutuals/fellow writers, who would you pick and why? A: I love all of my fellow writers/mutuals so much! I know how much work we put into whatever we post, and most of us are very active on this site. As for who I would pick to be my roommates, I'd choose @hereforhalstead @fighterkimburgess @halsteadlover @resanoona @sylviebrettsey because I feel like we'd all have great conversations, mainly over One Chicago. And every Wednesday night we'd all watch the episodes live together and experience them as a group and then freak out over what happened..........Now watch me fantasize about this all day.

Q: Do you listen to music when you write? A: It depends. On some days when I plan that I'm gonna write, then yes, I do put on some music. When there are days that I have a few minutes to spare, I don't put on music just because I'm only writing for a few minutes and I don't want to waste time. But mostly when I'm writing I do play music in the background.

Q: Do you know how your fics/stories end before you finish writing it? A: This is a really interesting question. The answer is no, I do not know how I'm gonna end a fic before I finish writing it. The only story I had a set ending for was my series On the Loose, but that one wasn't even fully planned out until I got a chapter or two in. Obviously, if I get a request that includes a set ending, like two characters get together or something like that, then I know what the ending will be. Otherwise, I have no clue.

Q: Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? A: You know, I can't say that I have. Everyone is different in their own way, and that's what makes us all unique. I would imagine if I did meet someone with a similar personality we'd get along because we'd basically be a carbon copy of each other, but who knows. Maybe our similar personalities would cause us to clash.

Q: Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? A: Not really. I know myself more than anyone else so I know what my limits are and when I've reached them. With people, on the other hand, I always feel like they can be doing more with themselves and their lives. So I do not hold myself to higher standards than others.

Thank you to all of you who sent in questions! I never thought I'd reach 750 followers on this platform. The only reason I have is all thanks to you wonderful people out there!

@winterberryfox @maximeevansblog @scarletsoldierrr @i-like-sparkly-things @dreamingmanip @soph0864 @ryliegh8 @lorenakaspersen @wanniiieeee @nevertoofarfromivar @securityfriendly-jay @pinkbay-love @stephie123

[all-that-tmnt-jazz]

Hiiiii!! Hope you’re doing well! :)))

How would the boys comfort their S/O who’s having an anxiety or panic attack?

Awww They are all going to be precious.

I have had panic attacks before, one while driving- it is not fun. I’m very soft in my actions, and I had just entered the southern part of NY State, whose drivers are notorious for being reckless.

Warnings: Triggers. Panic Attacks. Anxiety Attacks.

Incarnation: Bayverse

Extra Info: The panic/anxiety attack [reader] goes through is based on my experiences with panic attacks.

Leo: (Panic attack. Based on experience)

He was nervous for you, especially when you just hung up the phone mid-conversation

He thought he said something wrong

But then he thought worst-case scenario

He thought you had been attacked by an intruder or something

So, he rushed to your apartment, not bothering to tell his brothers where he was going

When he got to your apartment, you were getting attacked, just…

Not by an intruder

You’re in your bedroom, sitting on the floor next to the door

You were holding a stuffed animal to your chest

You were sobbing loudly

You felt so helpless

Like you had lost control

Like you were detached from yourself

It was a familiar yet unwanted feeling

Leo doesn’t know what to do at first

He approaches you slowly, and only when he puts a hand on your shoulder do you realize he’s even there

You nearly scream, but only a sob leaves your throat

You hide your face in your stuffed animal, your arms wrapping around it tighter than humanly possible

He sits next to you and keeps a hand on your shoulder

You collapse into him, leaning your head into his plastron

He is frozen for a moment before he hesitantly wraps his arms around you

He rubs his hands up and down your shoulder and starts whispering words of comfort into your hair

You soon fall asleep, feeling safe with him so close to you

Raph: (Anxiety attack)

You and he were watching a movie

“Honey Boy,” Directed by Alma Har’el

You had told him you didn’t feel comfortable watching it, but he insisted you’ll be fine

And you believed it. You thought the memories were now too deep to resurface…

But you were wrong

You watched as James was getting lost in his drinking

You watched James, starting to feel restless

You watched James, in his alcoholic state, start abusing young Otis

Over and over

Distress and apprehension filled you

Mikey was in the kitchen and he dropped a plate, shattering it, but you couldn’t tell it was Mikey

You thought…

You screamed, covering your head

Raph watched you in amusement for a moment

But when you didn’t stop screaming was when he got scared for you

He paused the movie

He put a hand on your back, but you threw it aside

When you looked at him, he saw you had a dazed look in your eyes that did not cover the fear you felt

He watched you tremble as sweat started to bud on your face. He watched you grab your own throat like you couldn’t breathe, and then your heart. He heard your breath become short and scattered.

All of this he saw the moment you looked into your eyes

You had thought it was your own father, angry and drunk- just like James. The shattering plate made it worse.

Your head pounded so much you thought everyone in New York could hear it

Until it stopped. Until you stopped.

Raph caught you before you fell off the couch, and he saw you were no longer conscious

He brought you to Donnie and explained what happened, unsure of what that was

Donnie put the pieces together

“They had a trauma-induced anxiety attack…”

Raph hated himself for this. He knew it was his fault he made you relive that trauma

And yet he insisted you watch the movie…

He never left your side as you remained unconscious in Donnie’s lab. He held your hand but made sure his touch was as gentle as possible

When you woke up, fear still remained in your expression

He didn’t let go of your hand

You looked at him, you saw the guilt in his expression, but also the comfort it brought. You scooched over on the lab chair, pulling his hand with yours

He looked at you, confused and afraid he’d hurt you.

“Sit with me… Please…”

And he does. Hesitantly.

He slowly wraps an arm around your shoulders.

You put your head against his plastron and fell into a dreamless sleep, listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat.

Already, you felt much safer

Donnie: (Panic attack. Based on experience)

You and he were hanging out in the dojo of the Lair

You were watching him do some katas and testing new gadgets he had added to his Bo

He often tapped the top of your head with his Bo, which always brought out a soft chuckle from you

Now, he’s just explaining to you all of the most recent gadgets he’s added

He’s talking so fast

It makes your heart race and your head get foggy

You’re afraid you’re going to lose control of yourself

So, instead, you detach yourself from reality

He immediately notices the moment you look disconnected

It looks like your zoned out, which he finds odd

He kneels in front of you

That is when he notices sweat beading from your forehead and your neck

He notices your hands are subconsciously shaking

He notices your breath is becoming short

Your leg starts trembling subconsciously

Your blood is pounding through your veins

Your brain feels like it’s rattling in your skull like a maraca

You don’t see Donnie start to lose himself right in front of you

He asks himself: “What did I do to push them into a panic attack?”

He picks you up and brings you to his lab

He puts you on his lab chair.

He immediately gets a cool, dampened towel to put on your forehead

He also grabbed a water bottle for when you “come back”

He sits in his skateboard lab chair and patiently waits, adjusting the towel from time to time

After a few minutes, you seem to enter yourself back into reality

And you burst into tears

Donnie is quick to hold you to his plastron, whispering comforting words into your hair

He speaks slowly, which is calming to you

After a while, your cries turn into hiccups and your breathing returns to normal.

You lean away from him, rubbing the tears away from your eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“You have no need to be sorry, Y/N. Do you know what caused this attack?”

You look at him- he is handling much better than anyone else in your life has

“I- um… You… You were talking so fast… I couldn’t follow… I’m sorry…”

You hung your head

He gave you the water bottle and you hesitantly took it. You drank slowly, but a lot

“Hug me?” you ask, your voice small

He lifts you off of the chair and into his lap

“I’ll never deny that.”

Mikey: (Panic & Anxiety attack. Based on experience)

You and he are playing an online game on your laptop

Suddenly, the game crashes and your hands immediately start shaking

Mikey notices and pulls you to his plastron, but you push him away

You can’t stand the feeling of having anything more touching you

You’re overstimulated

Your breathing becomes shallow

You start curling in on yourself, turning into a ball on the couch

Mikey watches you, unsure of what to do

He slowly gets off of the couch, then rushes to Donnie

As the two of them come back to the living room, Mikey has explained what happened and you’re still curled in a ball

But now you’re making the sound of sobs, but not actually crying

“They’re having both a panic attack and an anxiety attack…” Donnie whispers

Mikey needs that explained to him

So, Donnie walks him through how to help you

“Hey, Y/N. I’m right here. Don’t worry, angelcakes. The game will reload again if you want to play. If not, that’s okay. I can get you some pizza, and we can watch those cute cat videos that we really like. Shh, Angel…”

Soon, you become quiet and your eyes are no longer squeezed shut- they’re open and looking into Mikey’s baby blue ones

You reach out for Mikey, and he hesitantly puts his hand into yours You pull him to you, wrapping your arms around his shoulders

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, Angel. I’m here to help you. I promise.”

[lightningcrown]

I’m bored and waiting for the living room TV to free up so I can play more Dead By Daylight on my XBox, so, I thought I’d share my ideas for possible chapters/killers/survivors/maps, ect. 

Spoilers for their respective franchises ahead!

SallyFace 

If this game were to be incorporated into Dead By Daylight, I think it’d be best to make it more like Bill and Ash, where you only have the survivor with no killer or map. In this case, Sal Fisher would be a great addition to the game. It could easily be worked in that the Entity picked him up after he was executed at the end of Chapter Four, like how the Entity picked up Detective Tapp and Amanda from the Saw franchise after their deaths. The reason I think this could work with just Sal is because, while popular, SallyFace is not nearly as popular as some other franchises and isn’t that well-known a game when you think about it. But Sal is already kinda recognized, as he is the main character and his appearance sticks with you. Like the Funko POPs, it just makes a bit more sense to only have Sal. 

The Boy

I’d love to have Brahms in Dead By Daylight. Hell, he’s already got a title: “The Boy” He’d be a perfect candidate for the Entity’s realm. The Entity seems to love masked killers, and Brahms has racked up a bit of a body count; remember, he used to kill the nannies that failed to follow the rules or tried to leave him. Not to mention the girl he killed as a child. For the Survivor, it would have to obviously be Greta Evans, the main character and protagonist of the first movie. Perhaps, the main motivation for Brahms to listen to the Entity would be the chance to get Greta back for himself. Brahms is a stubborn brat, and would likely throw a tantrum and refuse the Entity’s offers for anything else. He likely wouldn’t be that intimidated by the Entity either. It’s hard to explain, but I just can’t see him actually being afraid, or even acknowledging the Entity’s massive power advantage. Other killers agreed either in a deal, or simply out of fear of the Entity’s power. Brahms would likely take a deal. For the map, the Heelshire estate is an obvious choice. There’s the manor grounds, the manor, and the woods around it.  Also, the manor has several hidden hallways and rooms in the walls, where Brahms lived; so it would be a great map to place in the game and put generators around. 

Thirteen Ghosts

Yeah, I know it’s not the most loved movie, but I enjoyed it, and I think it’d be fun. The killer is a bit tricky in this one, though. Cyrus just wouldn’t work as a killer. Despite being a genius, he’s not really a killer, or at least not one like the Entity would be looking for. He’s completely human, and while that itself isn’t an issue, the fact that he never really does any harm, himself, is. He, at most, beat his nephew with a cane, but he never outright murdered anyone. (Kalina technically counts as a murder, but I doubt the Entity is going to be impressed by him just using his house to kill her) It’s make more sense for one of the ghosts to be the killer the Entity would want. Out of all of them, the ghosts that I think would be considered would either be the Angry Princess, or the Jackal. The problem is that the Angry Princess is completely naked, and I doubt developers would let that fly. Also, with her being all cut up, and carrying a blade, she’d be too much like Rin. That leaves the Jackal as “The Jackal”. From what I see online, he’s the most popular ghost and the most well known from the film; he’d also work really well gameplay wise. He could be like the Nurse or the Spirit, able to go through walls, and his weapon(s) would be his nails; he used them to rip into both Kathy and Arthur. His appearance would be wicked cool in the game, too. The Survivor, I’d like to think would be Dennis Rafkin, the psychic who worked for Cyrus to help capture the 12 ghosts. He was killed by the Juggernaut in the film, but the Entity has taken dead characters before; again, with Tapp and Amanda being examples. His psychic powers could add some interesting perks, like maybe getting flashes where you could maybe see from the killer’s point of view, giving you an idea of where the killer is. The idea isn’t entirely fleshed out, but you get the point; it’d be cool to have a character similar to Cheryl, where supernatural forces aid them. The map would be interesting. Clearly, it’d have to be Cyrus’ mansion. With all the glass walls and writing on them, it’d be a hell of a map to navigate (obviously it would have windows in the walls and pallets to fit with gameplay). Something interesting that could be added is the possibility that they have about 3 different layouts for this map, and it could be a different layout each time, with windows, pallets, and doorways being moved. Basically where a window could be one time you played on the map may not be there the next time you play on that map. I hope that’s not too confusing. It would be interesting to kinda replicate how the walls would move in the movie in order to release the ghosts and guide them. Also, the claustrophobia and confusion would add to fear (at least it was pretty freaky to me in the movie).

Child’s Play

It (2017 Remake)

Jeepers Creepers

Yes, yes, everyone mentions these ones, and I agree. Just go watch Wow Such Gaming’s video series on YouTube which explains why each antagonist should be a killer in the game, it makes more sense than I could describe. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDWmmPRvjEQ&list=PL8Ts2TFQcaDbyJvPuVNNQffIC-jbECXfp

House of 1000 Corpses

Otis B Driftwood and Baby Firefly would both be great to have in the game. For both, it would be cool if it could be like Legion where you could play as either. Their name could be “The Firefly” with both being a part of the Firefly Clan. Though, in all honesty, Otis would likely be the only one taken by the Entity. He’s the most well known Firefly, most popular, and I feel like you can do more with him. This would likely be like Ghost Face or Leatherface’s release, where it’s only a killer with no survivor. His main outfit should be the one towards the end when the Fireflies are performing a ceremony on Halloween, with the long red coat and makeup. His weapon could be just about any knife. The Entity could grant him some power like he did with Danny so Otis would have more of an advantage; Otis would totally do what the Entity tells him to. Not that he would like being ordered around, but he’d be fine with the idea of nonstop killing.

Rule of Rose

Out of all the suggestions I have, this is one that I know for sure would never even be considered. But whatever, I love this game, and these are my suggestions and opinions, so I’ll just be stupid with this idea on my own. Seriously though, this game needs a remaster so badly; I have no doubt that it would be much more popular and praised if released today with newer graphics and a touched up on story line (Not that the storyline isn’t already good, but you understand what I mean). The killer for this one should be Gregory M. Wilson, also known at “The Stray Dog”. After his suicide after committing the massacre at Rose Garden Orphanage, the Entity picks him up and tells him that if he kills like the Entity tells him to, he’ll be reunited with his late son in the end (of course, with no intention of actually doing so), and takes advantage of Gregory’s shattered mental state. The survivor would be the game’s protagonist, Jennifer. After the events of the game (and her childhood, with the game’s point being Jennifer remember and coping with her childhood traumas), Jennifer plans to reopen the Rose Garden Orphanage and actually help children, but she is taken by the Entity before it opens. We’ve got characters from the 70′s, 80′s, and 90′s; and we know the Entity has been abducting people for practically centuries, so it’d be cool to see characters being taken from earlier than the 70′s; with both Jennifer and Gregory being taken from the 30′s-40′s (Jennifer is 19 around this time, so yeah, about the 40′s for her). The map could be none other than the Rose Garden Orphanage, with some elements of the airship from Jennifer’s past connected to it, like in the actual Rule of Rose game.

Well, these are some of my ideas for now; I might add more later, but I wanted to get these ideas put down :)

[anotheronechicagobog]

Ava Bekker x reader

Togther written by @anotheronechicagobog​

Warning: TRIGGER WARNINGS, attempted murder, arson, being forced out of the closet, fleeing to another country, being rejected entry, corrupt police, fear of the police, compliance for fear or violence, swearing

Hope you like it @sasssystephden

@chimerahh​

Belarus was your home, it was where you grew up, and it would always be a part of you. Unfortunately, you couldn’t be a part of it. You didn’t move to Chicago, you fled to Chicago. Being a lesbian was not something that people could ignore, so your only other option was to pretend that you were really just a spinster, it was something that they reacted violently to. You hadn’t even come out to your family, you were outed by your so-called best friend. She’d been invited to your family’s Christmas party, along with half the town, and she announced it to everyone.

It was like a scene from a horror movie, everyone turned to you in slow motion, darkness taking over their eyes. They didn’t even ask you if it was true.

You shook your head, not wanting to relive that memory. You turned back to your computer screen. You’d gotten a scholarship to the University of Dijon and gotten a degree in computer science, it made finding a job in the states much easier. You felt as though your boss, Sergeant Voight, was corrupt. He did a lot of the things the police in your home country did, and while it was clear he made you uncomfortable, no one knew why. You took your job at intelligence, not because you actually wanted to, but because Voight was interested and you thought he’d make you disappear if you said ‘no’. So you were back to living a good portion of your day in fear. The team didn’t understand why you’d never joined them at a bar afterwards and you were too scared to tell them.

You’d met Brian at your grocery store, a family-run Slavic grocery store and restaurant, you ran into each other so many times that you’d started to become friends. He was heartbroken to learn why you moved to the states, so he told you that he’d be your family. You’d been touched, and as a result, your brother-sister bond was forged. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had taken a while for Brian to convince you to go to Molly’s because the team went there frequently, but he’d managed it. You put on a nice top, jeans, flats, a jacket, and headed to Molly’s before you could lose your nerve. 

When you opened the ornate door you were met with warmth and laughter. “Y/N! Over here!” Brian was behind the bar, but there were women sitting on bar stools near him who waved at you. You sat on the seat in front of him and let out a breath. “Y/N, these are my friends, Sylvie and Emily, they’re the paramedics for 51, April, Maggie, Nat, and Ava, they all work at med. Guys, this is Y/N.” 

“Hi, it’s nice to meet all of you.” Your accent was thick, something that all of the women noticed. Brian placed a glass of vodka on the rocks in front of you, which made Maggie raise an eyebrow and say, “are you Russian?”

“Belarussian, actually. I do speak Russian though.” 

“Damn, I am not good at pegging accents. I thought that Ava was from the UK and she ended up being from South Africa.”

“I grew up in an area that had been heavily colonized, something that not many people are aware of.” You nodded, grateful that she answered your question without you having to ask. “So, how do you know Otis?” You must have looked as confused as you felt because Sylvie realized her mistake and spoke again. “Sorry, Otis is the nickname we have for Brian around the station. Sometimes I forget that’s not his name.”

“Oh, okay, well, we kept running into each other at the local market that we started talking, it was nice to speak to someone in Russian again.”

“Ah, so should we be seeing you around more?”

“I suppose so?”

“She’s insinuating that we have an emotional and/or sexual relationship.” Brian’s explanation was blunt and something you appreciated. Although you were fluent in English you didn’t understand all of the slang just yet. “Oh. OH.” You turned back to Sylvie and the other women. “Brian is a wonderful man and any woman would be lucky to be with him, but I am a lesbian, so Brian and I will not be in a romantic relationship.”

“Is that why you moved here?” Emily was closest to you and put her hand on your forearm, sympathetic smiles gracing the faces of all the women barring Ava, she had one of remembrance and understanding. “Yes. A woman I used to be friends with told my entire family and town at a party. No one reacted well.” Nat looked like she had a question to ask but Ava cut her off, “that’s terrible, Y/N. I’m sorry that happened. Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“No thank you, I don’t enjoy remembering that night.” Nat leaned back into her seat and bowed her head slightly. You let out a breath and felt grateful that Ava had intervened. The night went by smoothly after that, Nat had pulled you aside later and apologized, knowing that it was obvious she had wanted to ask an invasive question. “I would love to become friends and I’m glad that Ava stopped me from asking that question, I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I should have known not to pry, I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay Nat, you didn’t actually ask anything, and I can see that it was just a slip of judgement and that you will respect my boundaries. I would like to be friends with you as well.”

“Of course, Y/N, I-”

“Y/N? What’re you doing here? I thought you were visiting a friend tonight?” Detective Ruzek made his way towards you with the rest of your team, his tone was surprised and somewhat angry, causing Nat and your new friends around you to bristle. “I am. Brian is one of the owners and he wanted to introduce me to these lovely ladies.” You smiled, hoping to diffuse some of the tension. “What so you just hang out with him every time we’re not working?”

“Usually, yes.” Brian knew how you’d felt about your job, and had admitted to having negative run-ins with Voight in the past. He’d gone as far as introduce you to his Captain, Matt Casey, who’d gone over how he met Voight in the first place. The meeting was meant to ease your worries, but all it did was increase them. You could see your team growing angry, you knew it frustrated them that you didn’t want to get close to them, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do so.  Detective Burgess put her hand on his chest to push him back a bit, and then stepped right into your space, and since you were against the bar you couldn’t back up. “What the fuck is your problem?” 

“Detective Bur-”

“I’ve told you to call me Kim. We have all told you to call us by our first names except for Voight. So why won’t you? Why do you avoid us? What the fuck is wrong with you?” You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. This is it. They’re going to kill you. Escaping Belarus only bought you another year of life, and you didn’t accomplish anything in that time. Your hands were starting to get clammy, and your breaths were getting shallow. “Back off, Burgess.”

“Stay out of this Otis.”

“No. God, can’t any of you get your heads out of your asses? She thinks you’re going to kill her.” Everyone within earshot sobered immediately. “What?” Ruzek’s face had gone pale and Burgess stepped back. “She’s from a country that was part of the Soviet Union and is still heavily corrupt in law enforcement. She only took the damn job because she thought she’d be killed if she refused!” Everyone turned to you and you couldn’t take it. “Mne nuzhno idti.” (I have to go). You bolted out of Molly’s, ignoring those calling out your name, and that you forgot your jacket.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You broke out into sobs a few blocks from Molly’s. You startled when someone ran up behind you calling your name. You ripped a knife out from your jeans and turned ready to face whoever it was. It was Ava. “You forgot your jacket.” You didn’t respond, just breathed heavily.”Y/N, let’s get you home, okay?”

“I can’t. They know where I live.”

“How about my apartment, then?”

“... Okay. Thank you.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ava’s apartment was lovely. It was clean, classic, and homey. “Would you like something to drink? Water? Coffee?”

“Some coffee if you don’t mind.” She smiled and walked around the kitchen island to get to the coffee maker. “My mother tried to kill me.” You whipped your head away from some photos she had on the wall. “She invited me to stay at our family’s vacation house for the weekend after I came out, she had glued all of the windows shut, then locked and barricaded all of the doors so that even if I got out of my room, there was no way I’d make it to any kind of exit. She’d left a chair in my room, though, I threw it at the window and jumped out. It hurt like hell. The injuries and the knowledge that the woman I’d looked up to not only hated me so much that she tried to kill me, but that she was praised for it by the police when they found out why she set the fire.” A heavy silence hung over the room, choking you in the knowledge that you weren’t alone.

“My best friend told everyone in my town at my family’s christmas party. I didn’t even get time to deny it, even though it’s true, before my dad came at me with a knife. Everyone surged behind him and they were all grabbing weapons, anything sharp or blunt that they could get their hands on. I barely managed to make it to my room, lock and barricade the door. My parents, along with everyone where I grew up, were poor and so I didn’t have a lot. I threw my stuff in a bag and I climbed out the window. I fell on my ankle, but I just started running. I didn’t stop, I just ran to the next town, where there was a train station, I got on the first train to Minsk. I ran to the Canadian embassy first, because gay marriage was legal there when it wasn’t in the U.S., but I got denied entry. I applied to the U.S. right after and got in. It was so hard, just leaving everyone and everything I love behind... But... I had to do it. The only good thing that came out of being forced ‘out of the closet’ was that I didn’t and don’t have to hide anymore.” Ava nodded, she set down her mug and wrapped her arms around you. You wrapped your arms underneath hers, around her middle, and cried into each others shoulders. Crying over everything you’ve lost, everything you’ve had ripped or burned away from you. Encompassing each other in the knowledge that neither of you are alone.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chicago became warmer after meeting Ava. You started dating a couple months later when you’d gone skating and she’d just stopped and stared at you. Her eyes went soft and her lips parted. You skated over to her to see what was wrong. “Ava?”

“Can I kiss you?” It came out in one tangled breath. “Yes. Please yes.” She held your cheeks in her hands, you held her elbows in yours, and leaned in together.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You woke up to Ava kissing your shoulder. A smile spread across your lips. “Goodmorning, Ava.”

“Morning, love. I was called into work, so I have to go, but I left breakfast on the counter for you.”

“Thank you, I hope you have a good day.” Ava smiled, stroked your cheek softly. A feather-light kiss was placed on your lips before she gave a whispered goodbye. After the front door closed you got out of bed and padded your way to the kitchen. You smiled when you saw a plate of fried sausages and eggs on the kitchen counter. Your heart warmed at the thought of Ava making breakfast for you. 

It was the weekend so you didn’t have to work today, so you decided to spend the day baking and cooking since you knew that if Ava had been called in on her day off it was going to be crazy, and that cooking is the last thing she’d want to do. So you got dressed and headed out to the market.

Smiling you walked down the street. The day was cool and brisk, only light power on the ground, but it would snow in the afternoon if the weather forecast was to be believed. You made your way to a South African grocery store to pick up the ingredients for chakalaka, Ava’s favourite dinner. You smirked as you entered, your eyes scanning the store. 

The house smelled like warm sugar and spices. In part from the chakalaka and in part from the ginger cookie recipe you got from Nat. You and Ava both really liked it and you wanted to make sure that a wonderful meal was waiting for Ava when she got home.

The door opened just as you finished serving the chakalaka, “Ava? How was your day?”

“Wonderful, just like that smell. Is that chakalaka? Oh my goodness, love, you made all this for me?”

“Yes, I hope that this is a good end to a hard day.”

“A wonderful end. I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

“I was thinking, Y/N, you spend so much time here, and most of your stuff is here, so... I just... I think we should move in together.” You smiled and wrapped your arms around her neck. “I would love to move in together.” Your foreheads touched and your lips brushed against each other. “Together.”

“Together.”

[papermoonloveslucy]

REMINISCING

July 1, 1949

“Reminiscing” is episode #51 of the CBS Radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on July 1, 1949. 

Synopsis ~  Liz is working on her scrapbook, and she and George reminisce about when Liz learned to drive and got her license, when Liz signed an affidavit swearing never to interrupt George's stories again, and when the butcher thought that Liz had a crush on him.

REGULAR CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born as Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father's garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) had worked with Lucille Ball on “The Wonder Show” on radio in 1938. One of the front-runners to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy,” he eventually played Alvin Littlefield, owner of the Tropicana, during two episodes in 1952. After playing a Judge in an episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in 1958, he would re-team with Lucy for all of her subsequent series’: as Theodore J. Mooney in ”The Lucy Show”; as Harrison Otis Carter in “Here’s Lucy”; and as Curtis McGibbon on "Life with Lucy.” Gordon died in 1995 at the age of 89.

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) was considered the front-runner to be cast as Ethel Mertz but when “I Love Lucy” was ready to start production she was already playing a similar role on TV’s “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show” so Vivian Vance was cast instead. On “I Love Lucy” she was cast as Lucy Ricarodo’s spinster neighbor, Miss Lewis, in “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15) in early 1952. Later, she was a success in her own show, “Petticoat Junction” as Shady Rest Hotel proprietress Kate Bradley. She starred in the series until her death in 1968.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz, a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST

Frank Nelson (Motor Vehicles Clerk) was born on May 6, 1911 (three months before Lucille Ball) in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He started working as a radio announcer at the age of 15. He later appeared on such popular radio shows as “The Great Gildersleeve,” “Burns and Allen,” and “Fibber McGee & Molly”. This is one of his 11 performances on “My Favorite Husband.”  On “I Love Lucy” he holds the distinction of being the only actor to play two recurring roles: Freddie Fillmore and Ralph Ramsey, as well as six one-off characters, including the frazzled train conductor in “The Great Train Robbery” (ILL S5;E5), a character he repeated on “The Lucy Show.”  Aside from Lucille Ball, Nelson is perhaps most associated with Jack Benny and was a fifteen-year regular on his radio and television programs.  

Hans Conried (Mr. Dabney, the Butcher) first co-starred with Lucille Ball in The Big Street (1942). He then appeared on “I Love Lucy” as used furniture man Dan Jenkins in “Redecorating” (ILL S2;E8) and later that same season as Percy Livermore in “Lucy Hires an English Tutor” (ILL S2;E13) – both in 1952. The following year he began an association with Disney by voicing Captain Hook in Peter Pan. On “The Lucy Show” he played Professor Gitterman in “Lucy’s Barbershop Quartet” (TLS S1;E19) and in “Lucy Plays Cleopatra” (TLS S2;E1). He was probably best known as Uncle Tonoose on “Make Room for Daddy” starring Danny Thomas, which was filmed on the Desilu lot. He joined Thomas on a season 6 episode of “Here’s Lucy” in 1973.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. When Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George's boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benaderet was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, on air concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown. In addition to being aired on the CBS Radio Network, the episodes were heard on the Armed Forces Radio Network, where the commercials were omitted. 

This is the final episode of Season One of MY FAVORITE HUSBAND.  

An audio excerpt from this episode was included on the CD that came with the book Laughs, Luck...and Lucy by Jess Oppenheimer. 

THE EPISODE

The episode opens with Liz spread out on the living room floor scrap-booking.  George reminds her they are supposed to go to the movies and he hates to miss the first three minutes. Liz says that it doesn’t matter because:

LIZ: “It’s always the same: MGM presents... (roars like a lion).”  

Liz is referring to the Metro Goldwyn Mayer logo, a lion with his head through a celluloid ribbon that reads ‘Ars Gratia Artis’ (art for arts sake). The lion - named Leo, naturally - roared and the motion picture began. 

In 1954, Lucy and Desi began a business relationship with MGM, making several motion pictures for them and even having Ricky Ricardo work for the studio on "I Love Lucy”.  

Liz finds a picture of their car - before she got into an accident and wrecked it!  She ran it into a house!  Flashback to George teaching Liz to drive.  

The script for the reminiscence is nearly identical to the scene in “Liz Learns To Drive” aka “Driving Lessons” aka “Learning To Drive” in episode #18 on November 13, 1948, from when the characters were known as the Cugats. This is not a ‘clip’ from that episode, but a recreation of it, including guest actor Frank Nelson as the Motor Vehicles Clerk. 

Their new Hudson has a starter button - not a key.  Liz mistakes the cigarette lighter and the radio dial for the starter button. Naturally, she has difficulty with the clutch.  Everything goes smoothly - if Liz can just remember to drive on the right side of the road! A near traffic accident scares George, but only makes Liz angry at the other driver. George has Liz stop at the Motor Vehicle Department to get her license. 

On “I Love Lucy,” Ricky taught Lucy how to drive with some of the same communication problems. Most of the dramatic moments during the lesson happen off-screen. Over-confident Lucy then feels she can teach Ethel to drive, too!  

The Motor Vehicles Clerk (Frank Nelson) takes Liz’s application.

CLERK: “Race?”  LIZ: “Of course not. I don’t even have a license yet.”

On the application Liz gives her address as 321 Bundy, her age as 21 (!), her weight as 118lbs, blue eyes... 

LIZ: “And my hair is red.” CLERK: “Naturally.”  LIZ: “Well, just a henna rinse now and then.”

He then gives Liz and eye test. 

CLERK: “Read those letters on the wall over there.” LIZ: “M.E.N.”

On “Here’s Lucy” Lucy Carter took her son Craig to get his license. Mrs. Carter also faced impatient clerks and a hair-raising driver’s test. 

Back in the present, Liz finds a recipe for making Jell-O, which cues a commercial for their sponsor. Bob LeMond ties in the upcoming Independence Day holiday with a Jell-O raspberry pie recipe.  “Back to the Coopers...” Two hours later, the Coopers still haven’t left for the movie.  Still going through the scrapbook pile of photos and papers, Liz finds an affidavit. 

“I, Liz Cooper, solemnly swear I will not interrupt my husband’s stories, even if I’ve heard them a hundred times.”  

Flashback to the night George made Liz sign the affidavit. This scene is from “Old Jokes and Old Stories” episode #37 on March 25, 1949. As with the previous reminiscence, it is not a clip, but a recreation with minor textural alterations. 

The Atterburys are over for dinner, and George is once again monopolizing the conversation with his funny but familiar old stories. 

LIZ (to Katie): “One person snickers and George thinks his last name is Jessel.” 

George Albert ‘Georgie’ Jessel (1898-1981) was famous as a multi-talented entertainer widely known by his nickname, the "Toastmaster General of the United States," due to his frequent role as the master of ceremonies at political and entertainment gatherings. In 1948, he was honored by the Friars Club, of which he was’ the Abbot’ in a ceremony that was later turned into a short newsreel film. 

George launches into a story about their Honeymoon. Everyone has heard it so he tries to tell the story of a picnic, but Liz keeps interrupting and correcting his recollections. 

Some of the same dialogue will be recycled on “I Love Lucy”  in “Equal Rights” (ILL S3;E4), first aired on October 24, 1953. The rest of the TV episode was based on another episode of “My Favorite Husband” titled “Women’s Rights, Part I” aired on March 5, 1950. 

GEORGE / RICKY: “We got there about 10 o’clock.” LIZ / LUCY: “It was twelve o’clock.” GEORGE / RICKY: “What’s the difference?” RUDOLPH / FRED: “Two hours.”

Back to the present time, with Liz and George still pawing through the scrap book materials.  Liz discovers an old Valentine from George. Flashback to a Valentine’s Day past...

This final reminiscence is based on “Valentine’s Day” aka “Valentine’s Day Mischief” broadcast on February 11, 1949. As with the previous two flashbacks, this is not a clip, but a recreation of the script, including using the original cast, Hans Conried, as Mr. Dabney. 

Liz screams “I love you, George” at the top of her voice to prove her affection for him. Liz discovers that Katie has a boyfriend. She has written Mr. Dabney the butcher a romantic poem. Liz calls him “old heavy thumbs”. 

KATIE: “Some people may have better beef, but his liver’s good. And no one has oxtail and pig’s feet like him!” 

Katie is embarrassed to give the Valentine poem to him, so she asks Liz to do it. Mr. Dabney (Hans Conried) arrives with a delivery from ‘Dabney’s: The Home of Happy Ham Hocks!’  Naturally, Mr. Dabney thinks Liz is the one who has a crush on him, not Katie. 

The situation will be used again in “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15) first aired on January 21, 1952. On TV, the butcher is named Mr. Ritter and he is played by Edward Everett Horton (above). The one who has a crush on him (since the Ricardos do not have a maid) is Miss Lewis, played by (ironically) Bea Benadaret, who plays Iris Atterbury in this episode of “My Favorite Husband.”  

Katie’s Valentine is scented!  

MR. DABNEY: “And how did you know my favorite aroma - Swift Premium!” 

Mr. Dabney reads the poem aloud:

“If you be mine, then I’ll be thine And set your heart a-quiver. Say you’ll be my Valentine And bring two pounds of liver!

The poem is signed “Your bashful redhead”. We learn that Katie also has red hair! 

MR. DABNEY: “Listen, two houses may have red roofs, but you don’t pick the one with saggin' foundation!” 

Back in the living room in the present time, Liz and George realize they have missed the movie - it is two in the morning!  The Coopers hug and kiss.

LIZ: “Honey, you’re my favorite husband!”

The episode ends, but Lucille Ball returns for a Jell-O commercial with announcer Bob LeMond. They sing “Row Row Your Boat” with Jell-O lyrics!  The big finish, 

“J.E.L.L.O, now you’re on the ball. Jell-O is wonderful, sponsors are marvelous, We’ll see you next fall!”

Lucy interrupts Bob to say a special thank you to director Jess Oppenheimer, as well as thanking the entire cast and crew by name. Lucy reminds the listeners they will all be back on the second of September. Bob adds that audiences should see Lucille Ball in Sorrowful Jones with Bob Hope. 

[wizardofahz]

a prompt fill red daughter surviving after she sacrifices herself for kara in 4x22 because she has SO MUCH potential left and what the writers did was CRIMINAL. eg, mikhail, the superfam and specifically, alex, finally knowing what happened to kaznian kara: how she came about, what’s she been through. because we as the audience know rdks backstory, but alex, kara and the superfriends literally know nothing about her.

A/N: I’ve also been thinking about what-ifs, so let’s partay.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

“She’s not a bad person.”

On the live feed in front of Alex sits someone who looks like her little sister, and yet Kara’s voice comes from behind her.

It’s going to take a little getting used to.

“I know,” Alex replies, turning to face her. “She just landed in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Just like Overgirl and even Bizarro. All these alternate versions of Kara being molded into someone else’s image and desire. It makes Alex a little sad when she looks at Kara, and she hopes that at least they’ve done right by her.

Alex had watched the live feeds of Red Daughter – no, Linda, Kara said she wanted to be called Linda – telling Kara about everything that happened since she first appeared on the Kasnian-Siberian border. Even though Kara read her journal, she had wanted to hear everything again from Linda directly.

Alex had bristled when Linda said that she thought Lex was her Alex. She hates the thought that Lex was able to manipulate Linda so easily because they share a name. It is the most unfortunate of coincidences, and Alex wants to punch Lex in the face for it. He may not be responsible for his own name, but he sure is responsible for everything else. 

Alex would never do any of the things that Lex did, especially not kill a child to manipulate someone into doing her bidding. Speaking of…

“What’s wrong?” Kara asks, bringing Alex’s attention back to her.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Alex says, but judging by Kara’s reaction, she’s entirely unconvincing. 

“Then why do you have that face?” Kara contorts her face into an overly exaggerated frown.

Alex rolls her eyes. “I do not look like that.” She pulls up a file on her tablet. “Mikhail’s not dead.”

“What?”

“I assigned a team to corroborate Linda’s story. They tracked down the drone strike, but there was no body matching Mikhail’s description. We found him in a group home, turns out the strike was organized by Lex, and Otis let him go.” 

Kara’s eyes widen. “Oh, Rao, that’s huge. You need to tell her.”

“You tell her,” Alex says, turning around to put down her tablet.

But Kara doesn’t leave. “You’re avoiding her.” 

“She weirds me out,” Alex admits with a sigh as she faces Kara once again. “She has your face, but she stares at me way too intensely and for way too long. She also has a drawing of my face in her journal. Tell me that’s not weird.”

Kara shrugs. “The Harun-El split us apart, and the only memory she was left with was your name. I think it makes sense that she’s curious about you.” 

Alex sighs. Fine. Maybe it does make sense.

“Talk to her? Please?” Kara pouts, which is totally unfair in its effectiveness.

“She can be curious with less staring,” Alex grumbles. “But fine. I’ll go talk to her.”

… 

Alex is in Linda’s room for less than half a minute before she’s already annoyed. As expected, Linda’s focus latches onto her the moment she enters, and it never wavers once.

“What?” Alex says, fighting hard to keep her voice even.

“Nothing,” Lindasays.

“Right, well,” Alex says awkwardly, deciding to move on as quickly as possible. “We found Mikhail.”

For the first time, Lindalooks away from Alex, face shutting down with suppressed rage. “His body?”

“No, we found him,” Alex clarifies. “He’s alive.”

Just like that, Linda’s eyes are on her once again. She appears to go through a kaleidoscope of emotions: confusion, incredulity, fury, skepticism.“That is not possible.” 

“It is. I’m sorry. This isn’t going to be easy to hear,” Alex prefaces before explaining Lex’s connection to AmerTek and how he likely targeted Mikhail to manipulate her. 

“I was such a fool,” Lindafumes. She sounds both angry with and ashamed of herself.

“You didn’t know any better back then, but you do now,” Alex reassures her. “Besides, Mikhail’s still here, and Lex isn’t. Concentrate on that. We’ll do what we can to put you in contact with Mikhail. Maybe we can start with a video call and work our way up, okay?”

Lindanods. “Thank you.” She hesitates for a moment and then adds, “Alex.”

The unexpected emotional charge behind her name catches Alex off guard. “You’re welcome. I’ll go see what I can set up.”

And with that, Alex promptly makes her escape.

… 

“Are you okay?” Kara asks later when she comes to check on Linda.

Lindashrugs, unwilling to talk about her feelings just yet, and deflects, “Tell me about your Alex.”

Kara frowns with confusion. “What about Alex? You could’ve asked her when she was here.”

“I do not feel that I understand your Alex quite yet,” Red Daughter explains.

Kara understands that feeling. Alex can be paradoxical at times, appearing cold and distant yet caring at same time. It can make approaching Alex a daunting task. Kara certainly remembers feeling that way when she first arrived at the Danvers’.

Thinking of how much her relationship with Alex has grown, Kara smiles and says, “Alex has the biggest heart of anyone I know, even though she doesn’t always like to show it. She doesn’t have powers like we do, but she’s a hero. When someone tells her to do something she knows is wrong, she gives them hell, and she does what’s right. There have been ups and downs in our relationship, but she’s my sister. I love her, and I can’t imagine life on Earth without her.”

For a moment, Lindaremains silent. Then she says, “I have read your journal. I have watched you with your Alex. I know you believe what you say to be true, but I–” Red Daughter pauses, mulling her words. “I have never felt such a connection. I do not know what that truth feels like.”

“Oh,” Kara says as she comes to the realization that, even if Lindadoesn’t know it, this is her way of saying she wants to know what it’s like. 

And just like that, a plan is born.

… 

“What is all this?” Lindaasks as the Danvers sisters enter together.

“Food,” Kara says as she distributes the various dishes across the table. She then gestures to Alex. “And movies. We’re going to have Sister Night.”

“This is too much,” Lindaprotests. She’s still not used to this American overabundance. 

Kara waves her off. “If your appetite is anything like mine, it’s not too much. Also don’t underestimate how much Alex can eat.” 

“You lying liar who lies,” Alex shoots back with an eye roll, and Red Daughter feels a pang of jealousy at their easy banter. Then she nearly jumps with surprise as Alex turns to her. “You get to pick the movie.”

Lindalooks at the mostly unfamiliar array of titles and asks, “Which is your favorite?”

“Tonight’s not about me – or Kara,” Alex adds with a pointed look in Kara’s direction, clearly in reference to a conversation they had before arriving. 

“Hey!” Kara protests. “I was just saying that we might share the same taste in movies. We’re like two halves of the same person.”

Alex turns back to Lindawith a long-suffering look and a there-she-goes-again shrug as if they’re sharing an inside joke at Kara’s expense. It givesLindathe same warm and cozy sensation that holding a soft blanket does.

“I do not recognize most of these titles,” Lindasays.

“Oh, right,” Alex responds. “Introducing aliens to Earth culture, part 2. My life is 'Groundhog Day'. Hey, maybe we should watch that.”

“Yes, okay,” Lindaagrees.

“What? No, that was a joke,” Alex says. “You get to pick the movie.” 

Lindathinks to herself that she’d be perfectly content to watch whatever either Danvers wants to watch, but she lets Alex explain the various movie plots anyway.

She picks “Lilo & Stitch”, which elicits approval and some emotions of unknown origins.

”We won’t spoil it for you,” Kara says, while Alex nods with agreement.

Linda understands when they end up in a cuddle pile of emotions.

[onthepageoftears]

Little Secrets (Maeve Wiley x Reader)//Sex Education

A/N: I kind of combined requests for this one because it just kind of happened that way lol but it was really fun to write!! This one is pretty long too so ill leave you to it ;)))

(title from the song of the same name by Passion Pit)

Requests:

can i request a maeve fic where her and the reader pretend to hate each other but are secretly friends with benefits? they both have deeper feelings for the other but neither want to admit it, and the reader goes to Otis for advice

Hey, I love your writing!! Can I request number 4,18,34 from the drabble list with Maeve x reader?

Warnings: enemies to lovers, mentions of sex, friends with benefits, language, ANGST IM GONNA CRY, but also the FlUfFiEsT FlUfF THAt eVeR FlUfFeD

Words: 2,055 yowzaa

Please Don’t Plagiarize My Work!

When you first met Maeve, you didn’t think anything but hate could come of your relationship.

The first thing she said to you was: “Fuck off.” You accidentally bumped into her in the hallway, making her drop all her books. She only snarled those very words when you tried to apologize, and from then on you managed to form your own grudge for her, one of absolute chance. Maybe, if you hadn’t met that day, you two could have hit it off right away. But that’s not how it happened.

It was safe to say that you didn’t hate her; you hated the fact that she hated you, for some reason. Just because you caught her (or, pushed her) at a bad time, the two of you had to fix your glares to each other in the hall, or in class. It was like a game of who could hate the other more: whether it be through glares, words, or middle fingers, the two of you were in a constant battle of hate.

After a while, your hate for her subsided. You actually looked forward to hearing her newest remark and couldn’t wait to see her reaction when you spit out yours. You couldn’t hide the hope in your eyes when you found her in the library, waiting for her to look up so you could reach into your pocket and pull out your middle finger. And you would be lying if you weren’t ecstatic that you were paired with her for an English project.

Once you approached her, watching her lick her lips as she turned the page of her newest read, you realized this hatred was more of a lust. Though you had thought about it before, you never fully put the pieces together.

And then you two were in your room, grudgingly trying to work on your project while also trying to keep your hands to yourselves. It was only an hour of solid work when you suddenly felt the air in the room become a thin string of sexual tension, being cut off when she finally turned to you and grabbed your face in her hands, pulling you into a desperate kiss. You tangled your hands in her hair and let her push you back on the bed, quickly ripping your clothes off and ridding yourselves of the long awaited intimacy that had been clouding in your eyes ever since you bumped into each other.

And ever since then, you had been seeing each other quite often. Friends with benefits, as people called it. Though, you weren’t friends, not yet. You were just benefits, meeting up in the breaks of class and the free time you had after school just for a solid fuck. You weren’t complaining; Maeve was hot, and you were into it, and you didn’t care if that meant sneaking around to be with her. It was just benefits, like you two agreed, and it would stay that way. At least, that’s what you thought.

Slowly, you spent more time together; after a good makeout session in the asbestos bathrooms, you would end up talking about classes, books, movies, bands. You weren’t lethal with each other anymore, not even outside of your “relationship”. You just ignored each other in the ‘real world’, or the world outside of your little secret. But when you were together, the small whispers and soft touches after the sex was what you really looked forward to. Which is when you realized you were catching feelings.

So you told Maeve that. You told her you two should probably stop, that this friends with benefits was becoming more ‘friends’ than ‘benefits’, and you knew she wouldn’t want that. But surprise overtook you when she declined your offer to stop seeing each other, and instead said: “We should see where it ends up. Like an experiment.”

An experiment. You had never been good with science, but you supposed an experiment couldn’t hurt. And it didn't, at first. It actually felt really, really good. You both had a lot more in common than you thought, and your chemistry was much more meaningful than it had been when it was all based on sex. Now, the two complimented each other, and you felt like you were in a state of euphoria.

You two still kept your relationship a secret, because you both weren’t out yet and didn’t want to hear all the gossip and drama that would undoubtably commence. Or maybe it was the thrill of the secrecy, of this little pact between the two of you.

And everything would have stayed the same if Eric hadn’t caught you two making out in the asbestos filled bathroom shortly after your lunch period. Later, you told Maeve you were lucky he didn’t find you two a little bit later, where you would’ve probably had your hand down her pants, but she just rolled her eyes.

“I won’t tell anyone, I swear,” Eric said, fearful by the way Maeve clenched her jaw and held eye contact a little too strongly.

“Maeve, it’s fine,” you said, laying a hand on her shoulder. She ripped herself away from your grasp, but didn’t see the hurt in your eyes.

“I really won’t tell,” Eric said again, this time turning to you. He hadn’t known you too well, but well enough; you had been friendly with him during Maeve’s work with the ‘clinic’, and you nodded your head at the boy with a small smile.

“It’s okay, Eric. I trust you.” You watched the boy fumble away, still shocked by Maeve’s intimidation. She hadn’t been like that with him, or you, for a long time.

“That was kind of hot,” you remarked dumbly, hoping your rash comment would crack a smile in her angry face. But she didn’t even twitch, and you nearly face palmed as you watched her grab her bag. You softened your eyes, now realizing she was upset. Really upset. “What’s wrong?” You asked calmly, already knowing she wouldn’t tell you, at least not right away.

“Nothing,” she said, pushing past you with a glint of pain in her eyes. “I’ll see you later.”

You waited for her text, for her to tell you she was pissed or at least invite you over to talk. But the text never came. It was painful, watching your phone and only seeing the background of you two flipping the bird at the camera. You turned your eyes away, trying to focus on class. But how could you? Maeve was upset, and when Maeve was upset, you were upset. You two were like that. Always connected, even though no one else knew about it.

No one else knew about it. It had started to bother you more recently; the fact that you couldn’t hold her hand in the hallways, couldn’t kiss her cheek goodbye unless it was behind closed doors. You couldn’t make out in the main hallway of school, even though you both thought that was tacky and disgusting. But the idea that you couldn’t made you want it, and you wanted her so bad. You had her, but no one else could see. And you wanted them to see.

So, you were kind of glad when Eric found you. It was like a weight lifted from your chest, and your heart filled with hope at the chance of being with Maeve, in public. But then Maeve was upset, angry, distant. And now you were too.

She couldn’t avoid you for long; at least, that’s what you told yourself as you waited at your usual meet up in the asbestos bathroom. She hadn’t texted you all night, and you had begun to feel like you lost her, or wonder if you even had her to begin with. And all day you wondered that: does she think of me as much as I think of her? Did she even want this relationship to begin with? Was this ‘experiment’ going as far for her as it was for you? Or were you really just friends with benefits?

No. You refused to believe that. But the nagging in your brain wouldn’t stop, and you decided to go to the boy who maybe, somehow, could help you.

“Just talk to her,” Otis said simply after you spilled your entire story to him.

“That’s it?” He shrugged, unbothered by the harshness of your tone. You rolled your eyes but thanked him nonetheless, and got away from him as quick as possible. Could’ve come to that conclusion myself, you thought; but the truth was, you were purposefully procrastinating the talk you needed to have with Maeve, and Otis’ advice only made you mad because you knew it was true. Which is why you found Maeve at school soon after, in the library, and stood in front of her until she looked up from her book.

“We need to talk,” you said, grabbing her hand in public- though not the way you had always wanted to - and bringing her to one of the non-asbestos infested bathrooms. You looked at her seriously, trying to catch her eyes as they looked anywhere but you. “You’re avoiding me,” you said, ignoring the crack in your voice and the tears welling up in your eyes. You thought you wouldn’t cry, but now that you saw her, in front of you but still so distant, you couldn’t help but feel your throat tighten.

She clenched her jaw and glanced at you, quick, like it pained her to even to that. “No, I haven’t.”

“Are you serious?” You watched her face through blurry, tear filled eyes. “Ever since Eric saw us, you’ve been so distant…and I want to know why.” You wiped the tears on your cheeks angrily. “Are you testing me? Is this a part of our ‘experiment’? Or…is this some reverse psychology shit to make to break up with you?”

“No!” She jumped forward, placing a hand on your arm. You nearly pulled away, but the softness of her fingers make your heart nearly burst. “I don’t want to break up with you. Not at all.”

“What is it then?”

She took a deep breath, leaning against the sink behind her. “Do you know how long people have called me cockbiter?”You didn’t bother answering, knowing she would tell you anyway. “Too long. And do you know what they would say if they knew about you? About us?”

“Of course I do.” You frowned, a dry laugh escaping your lips. “I hear what they say behind those other girls' backs. I hear what they say everyday, and even though it’s not about me, or us, I still feel lit like it is. And if hearing that shit means that I get to spend time with you and share how much I love you to the world, then so be it.”

She turned to you, eyes wide. It looked like a bit of fear and surprise swirling in her glance, but tears welled up in her eyes as well. “You love me?”

You didn’t realize you said it, but now that you had, it was so clear. Instead of responding, you took a step forward, placing your hands on her cheeks and laying a soft kiss on her lips. “If you aren’t ready, it’s okay. But I don’t want to keep us a secret forever.”

She looked at you, the anger that you two once held dissipating into the air. It was strange to think that once upon a time you hated each other, and for such a dumb reason. But now, looking into her eyes, all you could see was love - even if she didn’t say it.

“If you aren’t ready, it’s okay,” you found yourself saying again, still holding onto Maeve like she would run away any second.

She looked at you, almost suddenly, with determination in her eyes. “I’m ready.”

And the two of you walked out of the bathroom, hand in hand, not giving a fuck about the people around you; you didn’t hear the slight murmurs or see the all too obvious posting of fingers. You both just focused on each other, on what your love was and what it would become, and you smiled wide at the thought that your love was no longer a secret. 

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Clueless ~ O.M. (Part 2)

Warnings: Fluff and awkwardness LMAO, mentions of attempted rape but not really because we’re keeping this innocent and clean and not triggering HA!

Word Count: 3400+

MASTERLIST

No one was talking. Eric had completely lost his mind, dressing down and keeping his eyes away from everyone. He was talking to Y/n though only because she followed him around, worried about him, refusing to leave his side. He took comfort in her presence as she had been the only face he could look at and see anything other than the faces of the people who attacked him. Eric was avoiding Otis and ignoring Maeve. For once, Y/n was avoiding and ignoring Maeve as well, purposefully keeping away from her even though she suddenly seemed very intent on keeping away from Otis and returning to Y/n's side. Maeve and Otis weren't talking because of their 'moment' that they both felt terrible about after Y/n's words had ripped Otis a real new one. Y/n wasn't even giving Otis the time of day, even though she almost broke several times and almost forgave him. But then she'd see Maeve or would remember the look on his face while yelling at Eric or see the faces of her would be attackers or remember the way his face light up as he talked about Maeve while her and Eric stood in front of him, about ready to break down into tears in the middle of his living room. She would remember his insults and accusations and his silence and his absence and her heart would harden again and she would be gone again.

It was the second to last class. Y/n had biology with a really odd girl, Lily. Y/n knew her mostly as the crazy girl who had tried to have sex with Eric and was in Swing Band with him, but also had personal experiences with the girl after they were paired in class the first day. They'd talked a few times and had somewhat of an acquaintanceship that was kind of awkward, distant, and strange. Lily never felt hesitation to talk to Y/n though and usually Y/n would just let her talk, giving her genuine attention and the such since she was sure Lily didn't have anyone else to talk to at all. For not being friends, Y/n knew more about Lily than she did about Otis. And she didn't like it at all.

That day, Lily was especially chatty. "I'm finally going to have sex," the girl declared with a grin.

Y/n swallowed her surprise and nodded, smiling. "Who's the lucky lad?"

Lily's smile widened. "Otis Milburn. The sex boy is a virgin. You two are sort of friends, yeah?" The smile on Y/n's face dissipated and she looked about ready to be sick. "You okay?" Lily asked, her smile fading as well as an eyebrow rose.

"Are you sure Otis agreed to have sex with you?" Y/n asked in a small voice.

The other girl scoffed in smug pride. "Yeah, I'm sure. It's going to be fantastic. We're meeting after school and-"

"Please don't go," Y/n croaked out, her hand reaching out so her fingers wrapped around Lily's wrist, clinging to her. The red head didn't seem to mind or simply didn't notice. "I know we're not close friends and you owe me nothing, but woman to woman, PLEASE don't go."

The girl paused, her eyebrows coming together. "Do you like him?" She asked after a second, finally realizing what the half nauseated, half panicked look on Y/n's face meant.

Y/n sighed, letting Lily's wrist go. "I love him," she clarified. She tried to even her breathing and keep her voice down. Lily frowned. "I've just had the most Hell year. My best friend slowly ditched me and the guy I've liked forever I fell in love with, only to have him fall in love with said ex best friend. I don't even know what happened between me and Maeve, we just suddenly stopped hanging out as if the fact neither of us had anyone else was the thing keeping us together. And then Otis ditched Eric so Eric and I became friends only to go out on his birthday and get jumped by some assholes and now Eric won’t talk to me either because he's pushing everyone away. I mean he lets me sort of hover so there’s that but everything else is a mess and dear God, Lily, please don't go. I'm barely holding onto sanity with the idea that Otis still isn't with anybody...."

After a second, Lily placed a hand on Y/n's shoulder. They made eye contact. "You never talk about yourself," the red head noted. Y/n sighed, deflating a bit. "I won't go," Lily assured and Y/n's eyes filled with tears. "But you scoop that boy up, or next time I won't be so generous. Just because you can't have him doesn't mean no one else can."

Y/n nodded. "That's fair," She croaked. "Thank you, Lily. Truly." The girl waved Y/n's thanks away without assuring her. They faced forward, Y/n collecting her emotions for a second before laughing softly to herself. "He's not ready," Y/n spoke up. "He's always felt pressured, but he can't even kiss a girl let alone have sex with one. You'd probably sit on his bed and hold hands for an hour before he'd even let you hug him."

The girls made eye contact, both smiling amusedly as they laughed softly. "Suppose he's not what I'm looking for then anyway."

After class ended and then the one after that ended and school was over, Y/n found her bike and walked to the front of the school. Here, Otis turned left and she turned right as they went to their respective houses... Would she go home and chance that Lily shows up or simply sit back and let Otis be stood up, or would she face him? Call him out? Or simply keep him company and pretend she had no idea? She stood there and debated for too long, her feet shuffling as she looked back and forth. "Oh my god, MOVE!" Someone yelled.

Y/n jumped, hopping on her bike and heading where her feet took her. Where her heart was demanding to be taken. Where in her panic her body went for safety and comfort and happiness. She went towards Otis.

When she'd arrived at his house, she wasn't surprised but she was a tad disappointed in herself. She wasn't angry with him. Not as angry as Eric was. Not as angry as perhaps she should be. She wasn't as angry as she wanted to be... not at Otis. She was angry at herself. At her emotions and feelings and thoughts and wants. She was angry that she couldn't stop herself from itching for a boy who probably wasn't even thinking about her. Y/n got off her bike, leaning it against the brick wall before quickly moving down the little hill and toward the front door... Where she locked up and froze, staring at the wood of the door like it was the distorted face of a monster from a horror movie.

What was she DOING?! Otis was expecting Lily and sex, not her. He'd ask her to leave. He'd blow her off or it would be awkward as he tried to simultaneously make things up with her and also get her to leave so that he and Lily could be alone. So that she wouldn't see Lily show up or so that he didn't have to chance Lily saying something that would give him away. There was no way he'd let her in or even care. They were barely friends! And how could she hide these demanding feelings of hers after all that had happened, when her feelings were a single breath away from bursting from her and scattering all over the floor in gory detail for everyone to see? How could she hide that she was in love with Otis Milburn while she was with him while there was so much between them but nothing that she wanted or craved- simply anything and everything else?

Just as she was about to turn around and leave, the door opened. "Jean," Y/n breathed in surprise.

The white haired woman rose an eyebrow, a small smile on her face but curiosity in her eyes at the wildly bizarre look on Y/n's face. "Y/n," she greeted in return. "Are you here for Otis?"

The same driving, basic need for Otis that had brought her here in the first place pointed out that there was really no smooth way to go from here. She was at their house and she had been caught. Perhaps she could simply say never mind and hope Jean would simply understand. Not even that was allowed, though, as Otis would hear his mother open the door and begin to talk to the new arrival and race down the stairs to interrupt her finding anything out from Lily, who he expected to be there. "Mum that's for me!" The teenager declared, looking over her shoulder as his eyes landed on Y/n, pausing in surprise. "Y/n?"

"Not who you were expecting?" The girl asked softly, smiling sheepishly.

Jean nudged Otis, not wanting the boy to mess up when it was obvious that, yes, he was, but Y/n was here and that proved an opportunity to make up with her which would lead to making up with Eric since she was the only one who could get even remotely close to the angry post birthday boy without getting somehow attacked.

Otis cleared his throat. "It's fine. Come in, do you need to talk?"

Y/n hesitated, her eyes turning back to her bike. She wished she could simply disappear and reappear next to her bike, hopping on and riding it to freedom, away from here. Otis would probably be relieved even when he was confused and disappointed when Lily wouldn't show up. She couldn't get out of it now though, so she turned back to Otis. "Sure." And Jean and Otis moved aside, allowing her a clear path into the house where she followed Otis quietly to his room. Once they were inside, Otis closed the door and clicked over the lock. Silence fell as Otis waited for Y/n, who sat on his bed for barely a full second before shaking her head, thinking of what Lily had planned for herself and Otis in this room - on that bed - and shooting to her feet again, crossing her arms over her chest and clearing her throat. A thick silence fell as Otis looked at Y/n and Y/n tried to look anywhere else, her restless body refusing to let her eyes stay on anything long. "I know about Lily."

Well that was smooth. Y/n flinched, looking at Otis with guilt and awkwardness. Otis looked panic, frozen solid. "She told you?" He asked quietly, breathlessly.

The girl nodded. "We're lab partners in biology. I'm the closest thing she has to a friend. She... has a lot to say and only I ever listen, so she tells me everything." She looked at him pointedly. "Everything."

Otis looked away. "Oh god," he whispered.

"I'm not here to judge you," Y/n spoke up firmly, finally finding her voice and confidence even though both were still fragile. Otis looked at her. "I won't tell anyone, and neither will Lily because she doesn't talk to anyone but me. I swear it. But... I'm worried about you?" Otis turned his back to her. "I'm not going to push or prod or pry, but as your-" she cut off, not sure how to title her position in his life. "I know that you're young. We're really just kids. And you're smarter and more awkward than any of the rest of us, but you don't have all of the answers. You're not supposed to. You're not supposed to be unbreakable or unwavering. You help everyone and I thought it might be nice to be the one offered the help for once."

Slowly, Otis turned back to Y/n, making eye contact with her. "Friend," he croaked. She rose an eyebrow. "As my friend."

She smiled softly. "Well then as your friend, I implore you to let this go." He sighed. "I'm serious, Otis. You're not one night stands and rushed acquaintances sloppily made for sex. You're... bright colors and pale skin and a full six feet of awkward and well meaning. You're aware and caring and protective. You're yelling at Jackson about Maeve not being a sex object, you're dressing up like a woman to go with your best friend to a revolutionary movie about finding yourself and conquering the bullshit life and what the people in it throw at you. You're pure and good and amazing- don't let the expectations of others taint and ruin that. Please."

Otis looked amazed as he watched Y/n passionately speech to him in a way that he had only seen himself do before. She had snapped in the purest way and he couldn't help but think it was- cute. The way she was protecting him from himself. How she had gone out of her way to help him even when she was struggling with so much herself. It was startling, as he had never considered her as such before. Maeve was always by her side, distracting him. Or Eric was by his side, keeping his attention. Now that they were alone with nothing else to look at or listen to, he couldn't help but see her in her full glory. And admire her, wondering how he could have missed her at all. "Y/n," he began.

"You owe me nothing," the girl whispered. "But- you can't even bring yourself to kiss a girl, Otis, this is rushed."

She was desperate now and he rose an eyebrow at her accusation, temporarily putting aside the sudden, new feelings he had while looking at her in a different light. "You think so?" He challenged.

Y/n sassily rose an eyebrow. "I KNOW so." Otis blushed and rolled his eyes and she sighed. "Fine. Kiss me then." He looked at her sharply and she felt her breath catch in her throat. "If you can kiss me, then I'll totally back off and leave you be. If you can't, then you admit that I'm right and that this is ridiculous. Because if you can't even kiss me, there's no way you'll have sex with someone you're-"

Otis moved toward Y/n suddenly, determined. Her hands fell to her side in shock as he took her face in his hands, their noses inches apart as they simply breathed. He froze, unable to close the distance as suddenly his body surged with new emotions he wasn't quite expecting. Over time, his tenderness towards Y/n had grown of course, but as Maeve made it obvious that he had no chance, taking any time to point Y/n out and push the idea of her being pretty that day or single or bored or lonely... well, Otis suspected, she was trying to set them up. It was obvious, looking back.

Now that he thought of it, Eric did a lot of the same things. Pointing her out, throwing her and Otis together. It felt so painfully obvious that it took his breath away. The comments and implications- could he really have been so totally clueless?

Her eyes were beautiful. Her parted lips were waiting for him and as she looked up at him, he noticed that he wanted to kiss her. Her skin was warm against his hand and as he looked, her lips looked incredibly soft. He wondered if they were as soft as they looked. How they would feel against his...

He panicked. Reeling back, he turned away from her as his breath came fast and hard, his eyes wide as his heart raced and rammed as if demanding to turn all of his insides out onto the floor. “I told you,” Y/n squeaked, her own heart racing as she had doubted, just for a split second, her rock hard resolve that had solidified to stone. After she had wondered, just for a split moment, if he was going to kiss her. If he wanted to her kiss her. Kiss HER, not just kiss someone... But, obviously, that wasn’t the case. She quickly realized something was wrong when Otis suddenly fell to his knees, forehead on the edge of his bed as he blinked rapidly. “Otis?” She called, moving closer and placing a hand on his shoulder. “Otis are you alright?”

“Get my mum,” he gasped. “I... I can’t breathe.”

Y/n’s eyes widened. Panic attack. Had she done that? Damnit! “Right, sorry,” she whispered, standing up to leave.

Otis suddenly grabbed her wrist. “Wait no,” he gasped out. “No I think I’ve got it just, don’t- don’t leave me. Please don’t leave.”

Sitting down softly and placing her free hand on his back, she eased, “I’m right here Otis. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” They sat there for a while, until Otis looked at her hand in his lap, his fingers mindlessly finding themselves moving, tracing patterns on her skin without his thought or intention. Her skin was still warm, but her touch was soothing and her proximity was comforting. He didn’t want her to leave, ever. He wanted the world to continue to turn around them as they stayed there forever, close and touching and never letting go of each other. Y/n had an air about her that was just so nice. Another thing that he had failed to really take notice of but had always known in the back of his mind, too distracted by everything else to really take a good look at it like he should have.

As the sun began to fall, Jean knocked on the door. “Are you alright in there?”

“Yeah,” Y/n called back for Otis’ sake. “Just talking.”

After a second, Jean responded, “Okay.” Both teenagers could hear the smile in her voice and she blushed. They could hear her footsteps taking her away, leaving them completely alone again.

Eventually, Y/n stood. “I should go. Will you be alright?”

Otis looked up at her, nodding. “Thanks to you.”

“Oh it’s nothing,” she brushed off.

“No it’s not,” he insisted, moving to his feet as well. “You stepped in with Lily and knocked some real sense into me. You were there for me when I needed you...” His face grew sad. “Ever since we’ve been running in the same group, you’re there for every one of us. Me, Maeve, Eric. I- I’m sorry I wasn’t there for YOU, that night. Truly.”

Y/n smiled softly. “I know. I’m not mad. I should be, but you’re hard to hate, Milburn.” Otis chuckled. “I’ll see you at school.” He nodded, putting his hands in his pocket as she turned around to leave.

“Wait,” he suddenly rushed, moving close to her. She turned to face him. “Your phone, may I see it? I want to give you my number. I don’t think I ever have, all this time.” She grinned, unlocking her phone and then handing it to him. He put in his name and number then handed it back. When she got it, she hit the save button. “Text me?” He asked gently.

Nodding, she stepped back another step. “Expect me to. I’ll see you at school.”

“See you at school,” Otis followed up. He watched her go out the front door, running a hand through his hair as he wished she would come back and bring that warm comfort with her again. He wished he’d hugged her goodbye, but knew that even if he had the chance again he wouldn’t. He was too awkward.

That night he waited and waited as Y/n sat at home, deliberating far too long on what to say, unsure how to even begin a conversation with the boy she was in love with. The boy who had just started to really, singularly notice her and who she was becoming friends with. What do you say to a person that means all that to you?

When Otis’ phone went off, he snatched it up so fast that his wrist popped, but he only winced and read the text.

Hello.

He smiled and his fingers began to move in response.

[princessnijireiki]

RE: @syndisarus's reply on this post:

As a Native American, who enjoyed Aquaman, and who also lived in Maine (ya know, where his father’s lighthouse is) I’ve not known Maine to be a)cultrally diverse, and b)to have Polynesian heritages. (i am not saying that no pacific islanders live in Maine, but want to add this pov as a possibility) wouldnt it make more sense to assume that as a POC in this movie, Arthur would’ve been Native American- Particularly of either Penobscot or Passamaquody descent since those are the brown people that live there? As a Penobscot myself, thats where my mind was led to wander.

Well, Temuera Morrison is Māori & Momoa is Kānaka; both their characters have tattoos copying motifs in Momoa's actual ink celebrating his family's shark 'aumākua (the repeating triangle pattern); and both characters performed a honi / hongi at one point.

It was subtle if you weren't looking for it, and I wish it had been made explicit in the script or dialogue itself that they were specifically Pasifika— and not to sound like a broken record, but god knows there was plenty enough "half-breed mongrel mutt" bullshit thrown around by white characters to be uncomfortable & aware that Arthur Curry isn't "pure" enough for his white (Atlantean) side of the family, but the script never even has him defend himself or his father from that.

My point being that narratively, there's very little to go off of there in determining Arthur's human ethnic background in writing, because the script treats race as a bludgeon for ham-fisted awkward "morals" about mixed kids saving the world* or ending racism or whatever without ever going far enough beyond that superficiality to get into what that interspecies and racial mixedness even is or entails…

* (Bonus with the Atlanteans being white & their war against the surface world being awkwardly entwined with arguments against pollution & a violent colonial presence in the seas— an almost stock Angry Indian plot— vs. Arthur Curry as the face of both "mixed kids bringing harmony to a segregated world" / "needing to see Both Points Of View racism" and, like, the representation of those colonizers… complete with Disney John Smith-esque exposition about "Not All Humans" or whatever… the script forces you to empathize with humanity without ever addressing the pollution angles or, like, that there are absolutely way too many warships, etc., and negate that label of colonizer because Momoa is brown and the Atlanteans are lily-white. The story tried to remix jargon from real-life indigenous political issues and ham-fisted racial analogies that barely work as-is while flipping those racial scripts, and the end effect is just baffling. Because that's not how any of this actually works in the real world.)

And while Momoa has some mainlander Native heritage from his mom's side of the family irl, he's obviously not from the Northeast nor does he have tribal affiliations in the region (iirc he's expressed concerns over his BQ, but his mother's mixed white & Pawnee a few generations back or something?)… and between the seven actors portraying Arthur Curry throughout his life— Tainui & Tamor Kirkwood, Denzel Quirke, Kaan Guldur, Otis Dhanji, and Kekoa Kekumano, plus Momoa— emphasis really seemed to be on casting local Polynesian kids on-location in Australia. Between that, Morrison, and those context clues I mentioned above, on top of generally not assuming an actor is playing outside their race until or unless directly informed otherwise, I wouldn't peg those characters & certainly not those performers as anything but Pasifika.

I get it, I'm from Massachusetts, and seeing the lighthouse and Boston Aquarium scenes gave me pause, because New England can be a… weird place, demographically and in general. Like, story-wise, I had a lot of unresolved questions about Aquaman's parents. But I'm also Osage, Creek-Seminole, and Wayúu (among other stuff), which isn't your typical New England stock, either. I wouldn't assume he's local (in a mainlander "local as in from the area" sense— not, like, kama'aina local-local) as the path of least resistance here, and tbh, I wouldn't give the writers credit for the indigenous imagery that made it to the film as it is, let alone assume they did enough research to make the indigenous rep & film setting make sense or work together.

[somethingsohappily]

1-100, beautifullll! 😂😘😎

1. When, where, and how did you meet?We met on tumblrdotcom on August 6th (babe, is it the 6th?) I sent her a message and complimented her blog, she then followed me, and I sent her another message apologizing for all the One Direction because I thought she was cooler than me. Then basically we started talking a lot/daily and here we are!

2. What did you first notice about each other?I’m gonna be real honest, i thirst followed my girlfriend, and thought she was hot. Also I liked how she thought about things, felt like I really connected with her personal posts on here. But like, I thought she was hot y’all. 

3. Who first asked the other out?She asked me out officially, but I was the one to admit I had feelings for her first. (with prompting from Sammy) Which I did when she was sleeping and then I didn’t sleep because i was panicking that I sent it in a text. 

4. Where was your first date?Babe, real question, what do we count as a date? Are we talking Skyping? Are we talking when you took me out to dinner when I visited? 

5. Who was first to verbally say “I love you”?Morgannnn, because I had basically told her before we were even together that I’d be scared to say it first ever again after a previous relationship. Which she said on October 7th btws. 

6. How did your first kiss happen? Who initiated it?Ummmm our first kiss was in her car in the airport parking lot, Morgan asked so I think that means she initiated it :) 

7. When is your anniversary?November 7th 

8. How long have you been together?Officially 6 months, though we basically were dating in September

9. What made you realize you were in love with her?It’s sounds silly to say you ‘just know’ but I guess I just kind of knew. It was just this very intense connection and very safe feeling, it was different than how I’d ever felt towards a person. Like realizing this was the person I wanted to see everyday, and share everything with, and really couldn’t picture not having in my life. I don’t know if there was an exact moment, at least for me. 

10. Where you friends before you became a couple?Yes, though we’d only been friends for like a month before feelings got admitted. But we talked a lot/shared a ton before we got together. 

11. Were either of you out before becoming a couple?Both of us were already out!

12. Have either of you dated a girl before?We both have! 

13. How does your girlfriend define her sexuality?Gayyyyyyyy, she is a lesbian

14. When is your girlfriend’s birthday (month/day/year)? Who is older?Morgan is older by five years (she’s a little old lady), her birthday is April 15th 1987 

15. Do you live together?We do not, we didn’t actually lesbian uhaul… yet

16. Have you met your girlfriend’s parents? If so, what was that like?Over Skype I met her mom! She’s very sweet, very southern, she was teaching Morgan to cook and making sure she was eating enough. I was very nervous, but I look forward to meeting her and the rest of Morgan’s family in person. 

17. How many people are in your girlfriend’s family?Immediate, 4 including her. Though I think her grandma, aunt, brother in law, and niece get to be included. (Especially Brantley :) )

18. Whose family do you hang out with more?Neither really because of that whole distance thing! Though my parents always want to Skype her and want to pass along things, so I think mine would like to ‘hangout’ more if they could. 

19. Are you friends with any other same sex couples?Sammy and Bailey! But sadley, I don’t think I have that many other gay friends in same sex relationships. 

20. What is a typical date night like for you two?Considering the distance, it’s usually watching movies. But if we’re together and I’m not dying of the plague we have a lot more plans and stuff we’d go do. 

21. How do you usually spend your time together?Usually just hanging out on Skype, talking, watching movies, doing separate activities while having Skype on (coloring/drawing, playing guitar, cooking, chores, etc) 

22. Have you ever been mistaken for sisters?YES by people at her church!

23. Have you ever experienced any discrimination or prejudice becasue you are a same sex couple?So far no thankfully! 

24. Does anyone you know disapprove of your relationship?Not because we’re gay, but I’ve had some people get weird about the distance. I think a lot of people have very little faith in long distance so i’ve felt judged for it by some/or like they didn’t view it as ‘real’. 

25, How much PDA do you do?Again, long distance means not a lot. And I think we keep it pretty low-key, we aren’t like making out in your local park or anything! 

26. What nationality is your girlfriend?Does this mean if she’s from the US? We both live in the US. 

27. What is your girlfriend’s middle name?Ashley! (babe I hope it’s cool im telling the internet this!) 

28. Who usually pays when you go out to eat?We both would like to be the one that usually pays when the other visits, however we’re both stubborn and won’t let the other one do that! 

29. What is your girlfriend’s number labeled as in your cell phone?💙 Morgan💙

30. Do you have any pet names for each other?Just the typical: babe, baby, my love, sweetheart stuff. We’re gross! 

31. Does your girlfriend have any pets?She does not, though she almost stole a cat from the parking lot the other day, and I think we’ve mutually adopted a dumpster cat that i’ve named otis. 

32. Have you ever worn your girlfriend’s clothes?Yeah, I stole her flannel and wore her shirts when I was visiting. 

33. Who is more likely to cook a meal?Definitely me! 

34. What is your girlfriend’s favorite food? Least favorite food?Favorite food is meatloaf, least favorite food is mushrooms 

35. Who is more likely to cry for no reason?I mean, usually there’s a ‘reason’ for someone crying, and we both are pretty emotional. But I cry all the time, so probs me! 

36. Can your girlfriend play any musical instruments?I almost said no and was like, ‘no wait guitars are an instrument’ so yes, she plays guitar! 

37. Who is your girlfriend’s favorite musical artist?So I’m terrible and forgot even though she’s told me. I think Mumford and Sons is one of them, though I know there are more! 

38. What is your girlfriend’s current favorite song?I don’t know. I hope it’s “Strip That Down” by Liam Payne though

39. Do you have a couple song?When she asked me out she learned that song “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran on her guitar for me. So that one reminds me of her, even though its being severely overplayed on the radio right now. But I don’t know if that would be ‘our song”?

40. Do you have a couple name?Like… a ship name… ? No, thank god. 

41. What is your girlfriend’s best physical feature?Her eyes, and smile, and freckles 😘

42. Who is more likely to forget where they put things?I think we’re both forgetful, but I think that’s probably me. She’s always reminding me to put my debit card back in my wallet so i don’t lose it. 

43. Which side of the bed do you each sleep on?I sleep on the left (if you’re facing the bed) and I think right now she’s more on the right? I’m basing this off where the laptop is. 

44. Who hogs the blankets/sheets more when sleeping together?I don’t think either of this did this, but it’s likely me because i like being a blanket burrito

45. What do you argue/fight about the most?What I’ve considered arguments/fights are not things she views as arguments/fights. But this is one of those things I don’t feel cool getting into over the internet! 

46. How do you usually get over a argument/fight?We talk about it!

47. Does your girlfriend have an angry/annoyed/you’re in trouble stare? If so, show it!Ummmm I’d call it more a ‘mom look’ and it usually happens more over me saying I’m not tired or that nothing is wrong. It’s more like a ‘are you serious?’ look vs angry/annoyed. ALSO. Time to quote my favorite video of all time, “you’re not in trouble, you’re my wife’ is basically how I feel about that statement in general when it comes to partners! 

48. How good is your girlfriend at communicating through facial expressions?She’s pretty good at it, I can usually read her mood without her verbalizing too much! 

49. Who is more likely to refuse sex?Okay, so I dont like how this is worded, because anyone in a relationship is allowed to say no to sex at anytime and that isn’t a negative thing. However, I don’t think either of us really would 😂

50. Does your girlfriend play any sports?She used to do Karate, and she runs if that counts! 

51. Does your girlfriend root for any sports teams?Babe, do you? I vaguely remember you wanting to get a new t-shirt for Football or something but I don’t remember the team or how serious that was 😂

52. Who takes longer getting ready to go somewhere?Probably meeeee just based on who takes longer to shower in the morning! 

53. Who is more likely to remember an important date (i.e. birthday, anniversary, etc.)?I have a good memory, but I think she’s still better at this than I am! 

54. What is your girlfriend’s eye color?Blue! Her eyes are prettyyy

55. What is your girlfriend’s shoe size?I believe 7? Or maybe 6.5? 

56. What is your girlfriend’s dress size?If you think my girlfriend owns a dress.. 

57. What is your girlfriend’s favorite TV show?SVU, which she just finished!

58. What is your girlfriend’s favorite movie?Okay so I’m the worst, I think Dead Poets Society is on there, but I can’t rememberrrrrrr. 

59. Who is the bigger neat freak?We are both a mess, I think I am more organized with some things though

60. What is one item on your girlfriend’s bucket list?Graduate from college! Which she’s going to do! 

61. Who is more likely to utter a curse word?AHAHAHAHA MORGAN. She says the fuck word a lot 😂😂

62. Does your girlfriend prefer coffee or tea?Coffee, but she also likes tea, especially sweet tea

63. Is your girlfriend a morning or a night person?I think she’s more of a night person, however she’s still more of a morning person than I am! 

64. Is your girlfriend more likely to save or spend money?She doesn’t spend her money on a lot honestly, but she’s not as organized with saving as I am (hi i have three saving accounts) 

65. Who squashes the bugs?Morgan, she’s very good at it! Though we live separately, so I also have to squash the bugs! 

66. Who’s better at accurately telling when the other is lying?I think we both know when something’s up, though to clarify we don’t lie to each other, the most we do is try and pretend we’re fine when we’re not. 

67. What is your girlfriend’s favorite color?Blue! 

68. Does your girlfriend collect anything?Morgan keeps basically all the sentimental things she’s ever been given, like she has every letter, and/or camp items in her possession. 

69. Who is more likely to randomly burst out into a song?100% Morgan

70. Who is more likely to randomly start dancing?I think Morgan, usually it’s accompanied by her singing along to something!

71. Have you ever taken a vacation together? If so, where to?So far it’s just been when we visit each other, though when that isn’t a thing anymore, I think we definitely will! 

72. How tall is your girlfriend?5 Foot, she makes me feel tall 

73. Is your girlfriend religious at all?She is, she’s lutheran and an aspiring pastor 😘

74. Who is more likely to spontaneously be romantic?That’s Morgan, me being spontaneous would still be me making a very intense organized plan. 

75. Who’s laugh is cuter?MORGANS

76. Who is the better driver?We both are gays that know how to drive and have good driving records, I’d like to say me just because I drive more than she does. But I also got pulled over for traveling in the passing lane the other day, so I might not be.. though I didn’t get a ticket! 

77. Who is the better singer?Morgan likes to say me, but she and my mother are biased. 

78. Who is the better dancer?Morgan used to tap dance and i don’t dance (this isn’t a high school musical moment though) so probably her

79. Who is better at math?Don’t ask us to do math 

80. Whose handwriting is better?I think hers is!

81. Who has a better sense of humor?I think Morgan is hilarious, even her puns, so her!

82. Has your girlfriend ever given you a honey-do list?What is this straight nonsense?? I make lists all the time, but they aren’t like ‘chore lists’ that she has to get done. 

83. Does your girlfriend smoke?Nope, cigarettes or pot, thank goodness! 

84. Does your girlfriend drink alcohol at all? If so, what is her drink of choice?She sometimes drinks, and usually it’s Cider or a Mike’s if that’s all she can find. I know she sometimes drinks whiskey, but I can’t remember what she mixes it with. 

85. Does your girlfriend have a job?Yes indeed!

86. Who is more physically strong?Probably Morgan, she’s always lifting stuff at work! 

87. From 1-10, how health conscious is your girlfriend?AHAHAHAHA ummmm considering sometimes she just consists of popsicles and cheerwine… definitely lower on that scale

88. Have you ever shared a toothbrush? Nooooo, I get that we technically share spit, but that’s too far for me. 

89.. Can your girlfriend speak more than one language? If so, which one(s)?No she cant

90. Who is your girlfriend’s biggest celebrity crush?Anna Kendrick or Anne Hathaway, I feel like there was a third that I’m completely forgetting! 

91. Does your girlfriend have any quirky habits?She has to be early to everything, and by early, I mean like an hour early! 

92. What is the most romantic thing your girlfriend has ever done for you?Ummmm probably how she asked me out, she dressed up and wore a tie and everything, and then played a song on her guitar. She also wrote out something to go with it, which I now have. It was very very sweet. Also her Christmas gift was a lot, and she gave me a picture album for us to start and wrote out sticky notes to fill this jar of things she loves about me 🙈

93. Who reads more?Definitely Morgan! 

94. From 1-10, how feminine is your girlfriend?She’s more androgynous, so like a 1 probs!

95. Have you ever discussed marriage?Yes we have! 

96. Have you ever discussed having children?Yes, we also have!

97. Be honest: What is one thing your girlfriend does that you don’t like?SHE THINKS SHE NEEDS A FEDORA BUT SHE DOES NOT

98. Is there anything about your girlfriend you think most people don’t know?I’m sure there’s a lot, but something like that would be up to her disclosure vs mine! 

99. Beauty terms aside, choose one word to describe your girlfriend. Why that word?Loveofmylife (I made it oneeee)

100. Pass on one piece of relationship adviceAlways communicate and be honest, honestly I think the reason that we are able to manage this big of a distance is because we always communicate and trust each other completely. Also make time for each other, we love spending time with each other and make sure to set aside time for that everyday. 

[esperwatchesfilms]

National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978)

I can’t believe in 31 years, I still haven’t seen all of Animal House. I was never into the college party scene, so the concept never interested me. It was the film college frat boys worshipped, so I just kept putting it off.

So, here we go.

“Knowledge is good.” - Emil Faber. Indubitably.

THEY BETTER NOT HURT THIS HORSE. I’LL BE SO MAD.

-20. -20 FOR SCARING THE HORSE TO DEATH. IT SHOULD BE MORE THAN THAT, AND IF IT WAS ON PURPOSE, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN.

This is why I think I never watched this. I like all types of humor. I like all types of film. What I don’t like is humor that feels like it makes cheap jokes that aren’t funny to begin with. I don’t think a guy creeping in college girls’ windows is funny, for example. I don’t think the abuse of animals is funny. 

I can’t believe I’m only halfway through this movie. Can it please be over?

“Took a few liberties with our female party guests.” I’m sorry. What the fuck?

And racist. COOL! I hate this movie.

Katy should dump Boon. He’s a fucking moron.

Or cheat on him. Cool. I know I’m supposed to hate her for it? But like... Boon sucks, and I just can’t care.

Oh no! Did Otter get the shit beat out of him? XD I’m not sorry for him in the least. Fuck Otter. And fuck all of these dickheads, honestly.

“I’m only 13.” ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. NO. IF YOU LOVE ANIMAL HOUSE, PLEASE ESCORT YOURSELF SO FAR OUT OF MY FACE THAT YOU END UP SOAKING IN MOLTEN LAVA OR FLOATING OFF INTO THE ATMOSPHERE BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE YOU BELONG.

AND WHAT DOES THIS MEAN EVEN!?!?!?! I HATE YOU, ANIMAL HOUSE

There's a lot of argument for this movie being satire, but it's not framed that way enough for it to be (a) funny, (b) obvious, or (c) even remotely amusing. The problem is the people that glorify this movie do not take away "satire" and realize that these things are not meant to be glorified. If this was meant to be satire? It failed miserably and succeeded in perpetuating shitty stereotypes and horrible messages. I am the angry.

I’m supposed to be on their side while they endanger lives at a parade because they got kicked out of school whilst DESERVING TO BE KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL!?!?

No surprise here, probably but --

ESE: -39/100

50 +2 for Kent’s beanie -5 for “a wimp and a blimp” comment +6 for Kevin Bacon +5 for Otter’s butt +6 for drunken “Louis, Louis” +4 for “Thank you, sir. May I have another?” spanking for Kevin Bacon +2 for corduroy suit +3 for smoking pot with a professor -15 for Neidermeyer’s weird relationship with his horse -20 for scaring the poor horse to death +2 for being a zit -5 for giving a handjob with latex gloves on +10 for titties -15 for peeping Bluto -2 for destroying a perfectly good guitar +6 for Otis Day and the Knights -20 for Confederate flag -20 for “taking liberties with our female party guests” and a wink +5 for cow -10 for Otter being a disgusting human -5 for drinking and driving -3 for “fat, drunk, and stupid” comment +10 for Otter getting the shit kicked out of him -20 for “I’m only 13.” -10 for F-slur multiple times

Sorry, not sorry.

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Clueless ~ Otis Milburn (Part one)

A/n: My goodnes WHY AM I LIKE THIS I AM SO SORRY!!! I’ll try to keep updates regular so I don’t ditch series. I’m so sorry...

Word Count: 3000+

Warnings: violence, attempted rape (not too graphic, I tried), yelling/arguing, hateful people. I tried to not be discriptive because I didn’t want that to be the focus of this. If this upsets you, I did warn you and I’m very sorry.

MASTERLIST

School was already complete hell without Adam Geoff as your brother and Headmaster Groff as your father and Maeve Wiley as your public best friend. Even before Maeve got involved with Otis Milburn and became his partner in Real Sex Education for Pay, Y/n Groff was seen as a complete weirdo. Y/n was known for her complete lack of sexual and relationship knowledge and experience. She had never been in a relationship and had never had sex and everyone knew it. The Perfect Virgin with the Renowned Slut was the most hilarious duo that no one let anyone forget it.

Then Maeve got involved with Otis and Eric and Adam lost his shit completely, making Y/n's life even WORSE considering her brother with the massive dick had dropped his drawers in front of the school. School went from hell to awkward hell to complete Hell.

Through Maeve, Y/n had been brought to form a sort of acquaintenship with Otis, but it was Eric who she really connected with as Maeve and Otis got closer, leaving their original two best friends behind.

Months passed and the four teenagers formed a new dynamic. The same day that Otis finalized that he was completely in love with Maeve, finally giving into all of Eric’s insisting, Y/n pulled Eric aside to tell him that - in a sort of plot twist of events - Y/n was in love with Otis.

“You WHAT?” Eric screeched.

“HUSH!” Y/n hissed, panic on her face. “I’ve had a crush on him forever, really. You can ask Maeve. She never understood until she got to know him, used to tease me relentlessly when I’d talk about the little moments and secret things I noticed simply because I was incredibly hyper aware of him at all times. I don’t know when it started, really, but as I’ve gotten to know him my feelings have only gotten stronger. It’s grown from a crush and hearing him declare his love for my best friend when I know that Maeve is in love with Jackson I feel like- like the whole world was flipped upside down and someone pulled out all my guts and then put them back in the wrong place. Like someone rammed me with a bowling ball, straight to my ribs and broke every single bone. I don’t know what I’ll do Eric... he can’t ever be with her and I can’t ever be with him.” She plopped down on the ground, fingers twisted in her hair as she tried to breathe.

Eric could see the building anxiety attack and kneeled down in front of her. “We’re going to figure this out, okay? For now, just breathe and let it go. If you’re right, then my boy will help Jackson get the girl like he can never stop himself from doing, and then Jackson and Maeve will be together just long enough for him to move on or realize he was wrong as you help him get over her. Or... look we’ll figure it out, okay? Breathe.”

She had managed to calm down but had not managed to get rid of her anxiety. “The closest I’ve gotten to being friends with him was picking you up from the clinic with him because I don’t have a car,” Y/n complained to Maeve one day. “I can’t get him to be friends with me, least of all fall for me.”

Eric and Maeve seemed to agree on one thing. “Stop worrying, let it happen. Get close to him and be there for him and... let nature take its course.”

Then Maeve and Jackson for together and it was a month of Maeve completely forgetting about Y/n and Otis, Y/n, and Eric becoming really good friends. A month of Otis convincing the two that he wasn’t in love with Maeve- he had barely even liked her, he swore it now. A month of Y/n and Otis actually forming a friendship and falling even more in love with him. A whole months that all the pressure and tension and emotion built up for one disasterous night where everything would go from bad to worse.

“I got us three tickets to Hedwig and the Angry Inch,” Otis declared with a grin.

After Eric lost his shit and the two boys had a moment of pure joy, Y/n asked, “Who and the angry what?”

Both boys turned to her with wide eyes. “You’ve never seen Hedwig and the Angry Inch?” Eric asked with horror. Y/n shrugged, smiling sheepishly as she crossed her arms over her chest. “God bless Otis getting an extra ticket so we can all go together,” the boy groaned. “It’s usually a tradition with just us but you’re apart of us now. We dress up and rock out and it’s honestly the best sort of fun.”

Y/n smiled. “Only is you do my make over,” she agreed, pointing not so seriously at Eric.

The boy grinned. “It would be my honor.”

So it started well. Y/b showed up to Eric’s house a bit early and he did her makeup and told her which of the clothes she brought were what she could wear, letting her borrow a jacket of his to perfect the outfit. She had refused to go as Hedwig as well, insisting she go as a man to fit into the kind of cross dressing feel. “That way I won’t be the odd one out!” So she was going as Schlatko, with a brown wig she had bought just for the occasion. The two left the house (Eric’s dad severely eased to SEE Eric leaving with another person who would be accompanying him the whole time) and headed to the bus station.

That’s when everything went wrong.

Otis didn’t come. Time stretched on and on and still he didn’t show. A phone call got Eric and Y/n on the bus before the doors closed and the bus pulled away, the pair watching out the back window as Otis was left in the kicked up dirt as they were helplessly separated. From there, Otis called again to let them know he would catch the NEXT bus because he had missed it again and at that point, Eric and Y/n ended up going without him.

Here the night got a bit better. The pair enjoyed themselves immensely, laughing and getting super into it as Y/n tried her best to fill in the large space Otis left by not being there. When it ended, they went back to the bus station, waiting for the bus. Y/n ended yo taking Eric’s hand to calm him down when he got a bit of anxiety as Otis didn’t show up STILL, the two finding the bus they had to be on as Eric and Y/n paired up to have each other’s backs and keep track of all their stuff. They managed to get back to the original bus stop and begin walking home perfectly safe. After Eric finally allowed Y/n to walk him home (“I’ll get home better as a man than you will as a woman, Eric. The world isn’t that progressed quite yet.”), the two ended up traveling back, laughing and talking about the musical and everything that had happened so Y/n could get all the little details and important momentos she might have missed.

That’s when the fragile happiness the pair were clinging to completely shattered. A car pulled along aside them, the men inside calling them and making fun of them, making them both on edge and scared. Especially when the car pulled ahead, parking to block their path as the men all got out.

Y/n put herself between the men and Eric immediately, hands out. “Whoa,” she eased. “Look, we’re just dressed up for a movie event it’s not what you think. Let’s all calm down, alright?” One of the men laughed, grabbing her arm and ripping her away from Eric, pressing her against his chest. Then his two friends hanged up on Eric and Y/n had to watch helplessly as thy beat him up. “STOP!” She screamed, thriving and riling to no use as the man hold on her locked her down. “PLEASE! PLEASE STOP YOU’RE HURTING HIM! ERIC!” She finally snapped, smashing the back of her head into the man’s mouth. As he stumbled back, letting go of her, she turned and plated her heel as hard as she could in his balls. Then she punched him as hard as she could- three times just for luck. He went limp, unconscious, and she turned to the other two guys.

Both men, just as big as the first, looked at her. She was smaller than them and didn’t have the element of surprise like she had before. She had no advantage. They were already done with Eric, though, who was beaten with his stuff strewn all over the ground, forgotten but scattered as the beaten boy spit blood and tried to catch his breath and keep quiet. Y/n’s has tightened in anticipation for a punch.

Not one came. When the two men attacked her, one pinned her against their car and the other gripped her chest. She screamed, eyes wide as her body shook with fear. They were about to-

Adrenaline like she’d never experienced before kicked in and she went wild, collecting every movie scene and play fight and lesson and piece of advice and YouTube video and ANYTHING she had ever watched or seen to try and defend herself now. She got her knee in one groin and as one man finally fell, the other finally hit her in the face, grounding her. To her surprise, the man that had hit her hit his friend, knocking the dude out in one go.

“I never liked sharing,” He rasped.

Y/n whimpered on the ground, mind racing as she tried to think of what to do to prevent what was about to happen if this man had his way. That’s when Eric stood up, face bloody and eyes wide and wild with fear and pain and dreariness. The man targeting Y/n laughed as Eric stood with Y/n behind him, as if about to offer himself to fight the man in his jean jumpsuit and lipstick, wig long gone and destroyed. “I may not be a threat,” the boy declared, slurring a bit as he held up his phone. “But I’ve called for help. Get your friends, and get lost, or you’re about to have another person to deal with, your buddies already down for the count. Leave.”

The man’s smile vanished as he looked at his friends before hauling them into the car, jumping in the driver’s seat and pulling away as Y/n curled into a ball on the ground, hiding her face as Eric stood firm in his heels. He fell to his knees the second the car pulled away and Y/n took a second before having a full blown panic attack. She cried and shook and Eric moved to her, pulling her into his arms as they clung to each other desperately. A few moments later none other than Otis’ mom pulled up, getting out and moving to collect all of Y/n and Eric’s things before moving to the teenagers. “Let’s get you two home.”

Y/n, barely calming down and still severely shaken up, shook her head. “I can’t see him right now.” She looked at Eric. “I can’t! Not after-“

She cut off but Eric nodded, understanding. “It’s safe,” he reassured with a sort of blank face as he tried to focus. “It’s safe there, I promise. We have to get somewhere. Calm down. Be safe. Please Y/n. Please, let’s go.”

The girl whimpered but nodded and Eric and her made their way into the back of Ms. Milburn’s (“Call me Jean, dear”) car. Jean asked the two questions, spread apart, quiet, gentle, and not at all pushy just to get a general idea of what happened.

When they got to the Milburn household, Eric sat in the couch with a cup of hot chocolate as Jean got Y/n changed into some of her clothes just to get the girl in something that wouldn’t feel or smell or at all remind her of the trauma she had just gone through. “I’m sorry I don’t have anything for you,” Jean apologized to Eric who just shook his head. It was quiet for a while before Otis walked in the door. The now group of four all stood in the living room as Otis asked, “Eric? Y/n? Why are you two here?” His eyes went wide. “What happened to your face?” He asked Eric. “Why are you wearing my mum’s clothes?” He directed to Y/n.

Jean frowned. “Try not to ask too many questions at once Dear,” she directed gently. “I’ll leave you three alone, to talk.” And she left.

Otis seemed to forgive the wounds and the clothes, launching into his day. “I’m sorry that I didn’t make it,” the brunette boy sighed apologetically. “It’s just, Maeve needed me when some things came up at the clinic and-“ Y/n sink slowly to the couch, knees and heart giving in as her eyes watered. While she and Eric had been getting assaulted after Otis had totally ditched them, he had been with MAEVE. “And, man we had this moment! Like, there was an actual moment between us but I totally ruined it-“

Y/n’s breath caught as her ribs caved in, crushing her heart and lungs in one go. “You were with Maeve?” Eric asked, just as betrayed as Y/n was completely heart broken. “You ditched me on my birthday to be with Maeve?” Y/n, who had gotten far too many earfuls about how little Otis was around already because he was so doe eyed and focused on Maeve, both of them expressing frustrations at Otis’ fixation on the girl when they both wanted him to lay attention to them- if, in different ways. To hear that while they had been attacked and could have used his extra hands or maybe avoided the situation altogether if there had been one more of them, Otis was with Maeve of all people... it was salt in the wound. “You left me and Y/n alone, dressed like this, to be with Maeve?”

Otis didn’t seem to sense the severity of the situation. “Well I...” he looked between them. “What happened?”

“You left us to fend for ourselves. You ditched us for Maeve. You... broke tradition. You left me for Maeve, AGAIN, on my BIRTHDAY!” Eric accused, getting heated as his voice got angrier and louder.

Otis got defensive, glaring. “I- it was about the picture going around, for Clinic stuff, I just-“

“Forgot about your best friend on his birthday! Man, we’ve been friends since we were nine and you ditched me for some girl you’ve known for a few seconds! You’re so SELFISH!”

Bristling, Otis rushed to defend Maeve. “I’m selfish? You want to accuse someone of being self absorbed, look in the mirror!” Y/n felt her chest construct even more as Eric gaped at Otis. “The only reason you’re actually mad is because you need to have yourself at the center of attention at all times, and now I’m finding a relationship outside of you and me!”

Eric made a sound halfway between a snarl and a scoff. “I have Y/n, you twat. If it was about attention, I would simply go to her and completely ignore you the same you ignore me.” He stepped back. “But sure. Sure. Yeah fuck off.” Eric turned around sharply, his last straw being picked as he rushed out of the house, leaving behind an aggravated Otis and a broken Y/n as he went home.

Otis turned around, starting as his eyes landed on Y/n. There was a moment of silence as Otis simply breathed, trying to calm down. Then Y/n spoke. “We got jumped. They held me back as they beat the living shit out of Eric.” She looked up slowly as Otis’ jaw clenched. “They tried to rape me.” Otis turned to stone, not even the sound of breath coming from him. “And you were over with Maeve, thinking about a girl who’s in love with someone else. Who’s with someone else.” Y/n stood. “I always thought you were different. Aware and caring and thoughtful and helpful. Good. But in the end, I expected too much of you and you’re going to be stuck going after a girl who you can never have and will only ruin with your affection, talking about her like having a moment with her is a victory. Did you even-“ she cut off for a second, eyes watering again a moment before continuing. “Did you even think about what SHE wanted? How in love with Jackson she is? Stay away from romance with her. Don’t encourage her to ruin this. If you do love her, step back...” A tear fell and she didn’t move to wipe it. “But maybe you’re not the Otis I thought you were. The Otis Eric raves about and claimed to know so well. I... I guess I forgot to look at your flaws too. I do that.” Then she brushed past him, leaving out the door slowly.

Otis exploded, racing to his room and crushing past his mom with burning anger and twisting guilt. He hated himself and he hated Eric and he hated Maeve and he hated Jackson. But that night, it was Y/n and Eric who hated and hurt most. After that, nothing would be the same.

[papermoonloveslucy]

LUCY AND JOAN RIVERS DO JURY DUTY

S6;E9 ~ November 5, 1973

Directed by Coby Ruskin ~ Written by Bob Carroll Jr. and Madelyn Davis

Synopsis

Lucy is called to jury duty and clashes with one of her fellow jurors (Joan Rivers). After Lucy is the sole dissenter toward a unanimous verdict, the unlikely pair must room together for the night.

Regular Cast

Lucille Ball (Lucy Carter), Gale Gordon (Harrison Otis Carter)

Lucie Arnaz (Kim Carter) does not appear in this episode, nor is she mentioned in the dialogue. The final credits do state, however, “Lucie Arnaz wardrobe by Alroe.”

Guest Cast ~The Jury

1) Joan Rivers (Joan Reynolds, Juror) was born in 1933 as Joan Alexandra Molinksy. She became stand-up comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host. She was noted for her often controversial comedic persona - heavily self-deprecating or sharply acerbic - especially toward celebrities and politicians. Rivers gained prominence in 1965 as a guest on “The Tonight Show.” Hosted by her mentor, Johnny Carson, the show established Rivers' comedic style. She also was the first female guest-host of the show interviewing Lucille Ball three times. She was nominated for a Tony on Broadway and co-wrote two plays. There seemed like nothing Rivers could not (or would not) do. She died in 2014.    

Joan Reynolds' boyfriend is named Marvin Winterbottom III. Joan thinks he is about to 'pop the question.'

2) James E. Brodhead (Mr. Miller, Jury Foreman ) previously played Tilford in “The Big Game” (S6;E2). He makes his fourth screen appearance in a career that lasted until 1995.  

3) Burt Mustin (Mr. Robertson, elderly juror) was born in 1884! He didn’t do his first film until age 67, although his stage and radio career started earlier.  He was generally cast as the stereotypical little old man. He is probably best remembered as Mr. Quigley on “All in the Family” and Mr. Lanson on “Phyllis.” He played Old Uncle Joe in two 1973 episodes of “The Lucy Show.” Mustin also played Uncle Jeff in Mame (1974). He died at age 92.

Mr. Robertson has a date with a 'heavy date with a swinging chick' after the deliberations.

4) Judd Laurance (Mr. Stalkup, Football Fan Juror) started his screen career in 1969 doing mostly crime dramas. This is his only appearance with Lucille Ball.  

Mr. Stalkup has tickets for a Rams game after the deliberations. His surname is never spoken aloud, only listed in the final credits.

5) Savannah Bentley (Miss Holmes, Juror) makes her only appearance with Lucille Ball. 

 Her surname is never spoken aloud, only listed in the final credits.

6) Alice Backes (Mrs. Barnes, Juror) made her first TV appearance as a contestant on Groucho Marx's “You Bet Your Life” in 1950, billed as a 'future actress.’ She previously appeared on the series in “Lucy, the Matchmaker” (S1;E12). By her death she accumulated nearly 100 screen credits, so her game show ambitions were more than realized.  

Mrs. Barnes is celebrating her wedding anniversary.

7) Lew Palter (Mr. Patrick, Juror) holds a PhD in Theatre and has been a well respected acting instructor for decades. This is his only appearance with Lucille Ball.

Mr. Patrick's name is never spoken in the dialogue, it is just listed in the final credits.

8) Shirley Anthony (Juror) makes the seventh of her 13 episodes of “Here’s Lucy.”  This is one of only two times where she received screen credit.

9) Bob Whitney (Juror) appeared with Lucille Ball in The Facts of Life (1960). This is the third of his five appearances on the series.

10) Sid Gould (Juror) made more than 45 appearances on “The Lucy Show,” all as background characters. This is one of his nearly 50 episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” Gould (born Sydney Greenfader) was Lucille Ball’s cousin by marriage to Gary Morton. 

11) Walter Smith (Juror) made 14 mostly uncredited appearances on the series. He also did one episode of “The Lucy Show.”  

Hank Brandt (Bailiff) was born in 1934 in New Jersey. He began his screen acting career in 1961. He previously played one of the astronauts in “Lucy and the Astronauts” (S4;E5) and Johnny Muldoon in “Lucy and the Little Old Lady” (S4;E17).  This is his final episode of the series.

When Lucille Ball died in 1989, Joan Rivers wrote:

“She was tough, smart, a brilliant comedian and a walking master class in comedy.”  

When Joan Rivers died in 2014, The Lucille Ball / Desi Arnaz Museum and Center for Comedy wrote a tribute to her on their website, remembering her visit in 2012:

“In an effort to showcase the very best in American comedy in Jamestown, Joan Rivers joined us to celebrate the 100th anniversary of Lucille Ball’s birth date in the most fitting way possible; laughter. Her presence has been a key factor in the realization of Lucille Ball’s wish for her hometown: to celebrate and honor the best in comedy. Like Lucy, Joan changed the face of comedy for women on TV. We will continue to celebrate Joan’s unique talents so that her legacy lives on for generations to come.” 

~ Journey Gunderson, Executive Director

In his DVD introduction, James E. Brodhead (Jury Foreman) recalls that the episode was filmed in fall of 1973.  

Brodhead also remembers that Lucy and Joan enjoyed making each other laugh.

As Johnny Carson’s substitute host on “The Tonight Show,” Joan Rivers interviewed Lucille Ball several times. 

This episode is a loose satire of 12 Angry Men (1957), a film starring Henry Fonda about a lone juror standing up for his principles. The movie is mentioned by Joan Rivers in the dialogue. It was based on the CBS 1954 teleplay “Twelve Angry Men” which inspired a 1955 stage play. On television, the lone hold out was played by “Lucy” alumni Bob Cummings. Henry Fonda co-starred with Ball in the 1968 film Yours, Mine and Ours.

The case is about the last will and testament of one Everett Covington, who has left his million dollar fortune to his nurse, Susan Bartlett. The will is contested by Covington's grandson, George, on the basis that his grandfather was coerced by the much-younger Bartlett to change his will.

Lucy calls elderly juror Mr. Robertson “the Burt Reynolds of Sun City.” The actor (and Playgirl centerfold) Burt Reynolds was one of the hottest male sex symbols of the 1970s.  He released three films in 1973 alone. Sun City is a gated, age-restricted community outside of Palm Springs, California. In 2008 it was renamed Desert Springs.

Harry picks up Lucy a couple of magazines to read in her hotel room confinement: Fisherman's Quarterly and The TV Log, two fictional publications. 

This is the third celebrity named Joan that has guest-starred with Lucille Ball. The other two are Joan Blondell...

and Joan Crawford.

Although they can't talk about the case, Lucy reasons they can act it out through charades. This gives Lucille Ball a chance to do pantomime, something she loved and was quite good at.  

Lucy first played charades on TV in “The Gossip” (ILL S1;E24) in 1952.  

The argument between Lucy and Joan about whether to sleep with the window open or closed was also a point of contention between Lucy and Ricky Ricardo in “Breaking the Lease” (ILL S1;E18).  

Sitcom Logic Alert!  A contested will would certainly not call for a jury trial lasting two weeks.  

“Lucy and Joan Rivers Do Jury Duty” rates 3 Paper Hearts out of 5

It is good to see Rivers in an acting role and riffing with the great Lucille Ball.  Lucy was very supportive of women in comedy, although she and Rivers were very different. For all its silly improbability, it is a watchable episode.