#or perhaps binary trans people that dont respect nonbinary people

[retordedd]

I never use this blog because the eddsworld fandom is genuinely the only fandom I've been completely fucking miserable trying to engage with. It's full of trans people and yet the community is SO hostile towards non-afab or non masc aligned in some way trans people. I've had people blatantly refused to respect my pronouns after saying they would. I've been misgendered in a server full of trans people where literally no one else was misgendered because there were pronoun roles. In that same server, while I was uplifting trans people making jokes about being proud of their bodies, they made fun of me for not having breasts. I've had multiple people debate my boundaries like it's a topic of discussion because I asked not to be called dude, a GENDERED TERM. I've had people gang up on me to the point of tears because I dared to describe my experiences being raised with an unconventional relationship to gender. I've been accused of holding grudges and being aggressive for even daring to speak up when I'm tired of being treated this way

And these events don't refer to a bunch of random assholes, they refer to people well known in the fandom. People I've seen on multiple servers. People whose names you say and it gets recognized

The eddsworld fandom has a HUGE transmisogyny problem and it needs to be discussed. The way I constantly feel unsafe when in a fandom surrounded by trans people is completely unacceptable

[milesisaworm]

This isn't really aimed specifically at anyone but?? Maybe don't make fun of someone's pronouns??

Hey if you use neopronouns I! Support!! You!!! One again, if someone is mean to you tell me and I will kick! Them!! In!!! The!!! Teeth!!!! :)

[kindestegg]

i was thinking of making a post like this since this seems to be a fairly shared experience between nonbinary trans people so...

it feels like. if you are transgender, specifically in the sense of being transmasculine or transfeminine, but you identify also as nonbinary, it often feels like the latter usually gets overlooked in favor of you just being either ‘a trans man’ or a ‘trans woman’. and theres nothing wrong with being trans without having any other experiences that make you feel disconnected from the binary but... people will usually erase that anyway?

it happens in little ways. for people who use she or he pronouns, but also ‘they/them’ as well, they almost never get called ‘they’, even by people close to their group. they are expected to refer to themselves and be referred to by others as solely a trans man or a trans woman, and forget about mentioning their disconnect with binary gender. perhaps it is somehow fear that, by acknowledging that disconnect, their experiences with being trans will be somehow less valid, when that could not be less true.

i am a nonbinary transgender man. im not just a transgender man, and i am not just nonbinary. every single part of my identity has meaning to me and has origin within my psychological perception of myself. i am non binary because i do not feel like i have to hold on to one idea of manhood, neither to the most commonly accepted idea of manhood, and to me, i am a man and everything that lies beyond that, and everything in between, and i am flexible to present as such. denying that part of me would be denying the truth of my identity. i am also a man, because i still know that i am one, just not a man like many would expect me to be, but within all of the ways i present, being a man in the purest form of the word is also there.

i dont want any parts of my identity to be erased. i dont want to always only ever be referred to as ‘he’. those are my pronouns, yes, but not ALL of them. i am also a ‘they’, i also am not just a man, i also feel unbound to the idea of a ‘solid’ version of my gender, that never changes. i want to be a they, i want to be referred as such. i want my non binaryness, my disconnect with gender, to be acknowledged. and i have often had talks with other nonbinary people who still have some connect with the infamous ‘two genders’ who feel the exact same, who are happy their identity is respected, sure, but it is still often times erased. yes it is there. people know of it. but they seem to make no effort to make that part of us feel included.

i guess where i’m going with this is that i wish people talked a bit more about what it is to be non binary while also being transgender in the sense of, actively identifying as a trans man or a trans woman. because we have a very specific set of experiences and suffer a very specific form of erasure and judgement, even within our community. and i guess the best you can do, if you do not identify as we do, is just be available to hear our experiences, make us feel included, and refer to us as we truly are.

[enbypanposi]

i have a problem with pronouns depending on the language. eg: i feel comfortable with they but i do not feel comfortable with the neutral pronoun in my native language. i don't know if it is because my family and most people i know make fun of the second one while the only place i see/use they is here on tumblr where people are supportive of it. but it just not feel the same

I think this is a very common situation, although not once I personally grok as a monolingual english speaker. Whether it be across the language barrier or just in certain situations, there are plenty of people whose comfort with their pronouns change depending on the situation. (side tangent--this is why i dislike that the term ‘preferred pronouns’ gets so much hate. from cis people, sure, but many people use multiple pronouns and prefer to use different ones in different situations or at different times. they always have pronouns, but they prefer different ones differently, so the preferred pronoun changes. i think theres lots of nuance there thats been stripped because of misuse of it, but thats not really what this is about after all.) 

If you like ‘they’ in english, that doesnt mean you always have to use its direct analogue in your native language, or any language! My honest recommendation is try out new pronouns in your native language, whether they be binary ones or neopronouns or even if you have to coin some yourself. There are, after all, many languages which do not have options for nonbinary folks--at all. Its not shameful to be a pioneer in that right, though it may be awkward at first. Since you did not mention the language, I dont know if there are any options in it, but I recommend you do a little research into it! It sounds like there is a singular gender neutral they analog in it, but perhaps there are more pronouns coined in it that would make you more comfortable then they in that language. 

On a serious note, this is the problem with treating ‘they’ as the be-all-end-all option for ALL people who want to be referred to gender neutrally, nonbinary or not. Pronouns are important aspects of how we treat the people around us, and forcing ‘they’ on everyone is counterproductive to achieving respectful treatment of GNC and trans folks, who are not and never have been monolithic. A monolithic pronoun is not a solution, its just another uncomfortable box to force people into. And this is coming from a nonbinary person who uses they--its not the only solution and its sad that its often treated that way. Anon, no one can tell you what you are comfortable with other than yourself. No one who cares about your feelings would force you to use a pronoun you are uncomfortable with, especially when it comes from being mocked by those close to you--its just wrong. You are fully within your right to use different pronouns in different situations for your own comfort, because ANY pronoun you use is for your comfort. Thats why we use them, and why we change them, and why we invent more. I hope you are able to find a pronoun in your native language that makes you comfortable.