#but mostly by cis people

[retordedd]

I never use this blog because the eddsworld fandom is genuinely the only fandom I've been completely fucking miserable trying to engage with. It's full of trans people and yet the community is SO hostile towards non-afab or non masc aligned in some way trans people. I've had people blatantly refused to respect my pronouns after saying they would. I've been misgendered in a server full of trans people where literally no one else was misgendered because there were pronoun roles. In that same server, while I was uplifting trans people making jokes about being proud of their bodies, they made fun of me for not having breasts. I've had multiple people debate my boundaries like it's a topic of discussion because I asked not to be called dude, a GENDERED TERM. I've had people gang up on me to the point of tears because I dared to describe my experiences being raised with an unconventional relationship to gender. I've been accused of holding grudges and being aggressive for even daring to speak up when I'm tired of being treated this way

And these events don't refer to a bunch of random assholes, they refer to people well known in the fandom. People I've seen on multiple servers. People whose names you say and it gets recognized

The eddsworld fandom has a HUGE transmisogyny problem and it needs to be discussed. The way I constantly feel unsafe when in a fandom surrounded by trans people is completely unacceptable

[sharkface]

If there are supposedly hordes of trans women sniffing out shy moody androgynous goth boys and turning them into extroverted freaky raver puppygirls explain why hasn't it happened to me yet. Am I not pretty enough

[kimabutch]

Things are getting increasingly shitty in Canada for trans people and, not gonna lie, it's really stressful! Within the last month:

The Conservative Party of Canada, which is the official opposition party (AKA the party with the second most votes) and has a solid chance of forming the government in the next election, held a convention where they voted overwhelmingly in favour of creating policies to stop gender-affirming medical care for minors (link)

They also officially voted to define "woman" as "female person" and try to stop trans women from being in women's prisons, shelters, locker rooms, and washrooms

Multiple provincial governments are either enacting policies that would require parents' approval in order for trans kids to change their names or pronouns at school, or have officially said that they support forcibly outing kids (link)

A nonbinary teacher in Quebec received threats of violence for using pronoun "Mx" and other Quebec provincial parties complained about "wokeism" and said they wouldn't use the title (link)

And this doesn't include the homophobic & transphobic protests outside pride events throughout the summer or the "Save Our Children" convoy that's being planned for later this month (link), or the tons of shitty things that have happened all through this year, like tons of Ontario trans people (including me!) losing healthcare.

I'm trying to stay as optimistic as possible, knowing just how many trans people and allies there are, but sometimes! It's hard!

Anyways, if you're Canadian, please consider:

Getting involved in local, municipal politics, especially on school boards, to speak out about the need for gender-affirming policies, especially for youth

Showing up (with an organized, prepared group) to counter-protest anti-trans protesters

Keeping track of any anti- or pro-trans bills going around and contacting your MPs & MPPs to let them know what you think of them

Supporting 2SLGBTQ+ charities

Literally never ever voting conservative

And even if you're not Canadian, if you have friends who are Canadian & trans, maybe check in on them? Most Canadian trans people are pretty freaked out right now I think.

[snekdood]

notice how when you hear about all these rich white men in high positions of power doing heinous shit, none of them end up being trans men or mascs 🤔 but surely we're just as privileged as any other cis guy right?

[wwxwasright]

mdzs is about the TRAGEDY

tgcf is about the PINING

svsss is about fucking your TEACHER

[astrangerthatlovesyou]

An especially happy pride month to the trans people that aren’t transmasc, or transfem.

Happy pride month to the trans people that also aren’t transneutral

Happy pride month to people that aren’t cis or trans

Happy pride month to AMAB demiboys, neoboys, libramasculines, and helians

Happy pride month to AFAB demigirls, neogirls, librafeminines, and lunarians

Happy pride month to pomogender, quoigender, and gender apathetic people

Happy pride month to the trans AFABs that are still women and the trans AMABs that are still men

Happy pride month to agender and gendervoid people that don’t feel cis or trans, and to those that do

Happy pride month to trans people without dysphoria

Happy pride month to trans people who don’t want hormones or surgeries

Happy pride month to people who never wanted to change their names, pronouns, or otherwise socially transition

Happy pride month to everyone that wonders if they’re trans enough

Happy pride month to everyone that isn’t quite cis. You’re trans enough for the trans community, and if you don’t feel trans, we’re happy to have you here too.

I’m glad you’re here, I love you.

Happy pride month!

[think-queer]

I've been thinking about why in so deeply bothered by people saying that afab enbies who don't look trans are less oppressed than other trans people. Part of it is just that it is either based in enbyphobia/misogyny (seeing afab enbies as women and seeing women as attention seekers with a victim complex) or it's erasing amab enbies (because if 'looking trans' is such an important part of the trans experience then why wouldn't the same apply to amab enbies who aren't visibility trans)

But I've realized that it's also because it reminds me of one of the most common acephobic arguments I saw back when asexuals were the targets of the "discourse" (aka the main target for bullies in online queer spaces) The argument was that no one can tell you're asexual unless you tell them. That mlm and wlw can be clocked in public by homophobes and thus are the targets of violence but asexuals aren't going to be holding hands with the wrong person so clearly we don't experience any type of oppression. At it's heart it's the same argument I see against afab enbies. It's this idea that going through life hiding your actual identity is a privilege, that somehow staying in the closet all the time is fun and easy, it's the idea that the only meaningful form of oppression is random violence from complete strangers, that non-violent bigotry doesn't really matter, and that violence from people you know is somehow less common or less important. It's people acting as though the only reason that someone might seek out queer spaces is to avoid that violence from strangers, and that seeking out queer spaces for emotional support or to form connections is somehow "taking up resources" or an "invasion" of a space where they don't belong. It's the same oppression olympics that I hate with every fiber of my being, that does nothing but turn us against each other and distract from our actual oppressors.

Afab enbies wanting to exist and be acknowledged no matter their gender presentation is not an act of violence against other trans people.

It took me years to come to terms with my asexuality because of the way asexuals were targeted when I was a teenager, and I hate to think that there are going to be people growing up now that struggle to come to terms with their gender identity because of the way enbies are being talked about.

[the-casbah-way]

some people are not going to like this but there is not in fact a rigid red line between cis people and trans people and acting like there is isn't helpful for anyone

[uncanny-tranny]

what do you think about the new discourse on tumblr: "trans women are responsible for making transandrophobia invisible"?

I'm going to be honest, I never know if these asks are coming from a genuine, good-faith curiosity or if it's pot-stirring, especially since I don't go out of my way to speak about current trans "discourse" or politics (partially because I don't like how it's engaged with, and partially because I don't think my voice is always needed).

As far as "made invisible" goes, I invite people to consider that as far as being made invisible goes, it will most always be cis people who engage in things that make us invisible in the first place - trans women* as a political and identity group aren't needed for this to be the case, and indeed, I have found trans women* to be a group who aren't known for maliciously doing so, whereas cis people often do.

As a trans guy, I find that invisibility is part of my experience. Trans women* as a group aren't responsible for that, and often, they are made hypervisible, which is not a privilege or a good thing in many cases. People think that visibility or invisibility are privileges, but if you're a minority, both are used as ways to subjugate you.

I'm not super keen on the idea that it's magically one trans group's fault for something wrong, and I hold that opinion regardless of what's asked or how. Trans people aren't the fault for transphobia: the systems in place and the people who have power (who will most often be cis) are the fault of transphobia.

[schadenfreudich]

I hate it when people equate amab non-binary people with masculine non-binary people and afab non-binary people with feminine non-binary people.

Like, shut up! And stop recreating the fucking gender binary or I will hit you over the head with a baseball bat.

[yoodysoup]

it's very interesting how the star wars fandom hates saw gerrera because his ideas and methods are considered "too radical" when we see luthen being praised for doing the exact same things, how quickly people jump on the mace windu hate train because apparently anakin falling to the dark side is his fault, and not, you know, anakin's. or palpatine's (the man who literally groomed anakin from day 1). and now people think that cinta was an asshole because of how she treated vel in the last few episodes? the recurring theme is that the rebellion comes first, always, and that the people in it "take what's left". besties they're literally fighting fascism but you draw the line at a character being a bit too cold for your tastes? c'mon.

by "it's very interesting" i meant "isn't it fucking racist" btw

[existencebringsonlypain]

I go by she/her because that's what I'm used to, but gender isn't really something that important or meaningful to me personally. I use they/them when referring to myself, but I have no problem with others using any other pronouns (though I'm not used to neopronouns, so perhaps not those).

this could probably be referred to as agender.

which means...

I am a 𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗨𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗔 𝗕𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗬

[ante--meridiem]

My not-entirely-serious take on the polyamory discourse that was on my dash... yesterday? The day before? Is that it would be greatly improved by people coining the concept of "monogamy+" in the same sense as "cis+".

(again please don't take this too seriously I haven't put that much thought into it, but I do think it would help make a clearer distinction between "examine your preferences (read: they are bad and you should feel bad)" vs "it's genuinely fine if the default works best for you but it might be better for both your own well being and how you treat others if you get there through deliberate choices (and in the case of relationships, clear communication) rather than simply assuming it as the only option").

[familyofpaladins]

I HAD A REVELATION

okay so I was thinking about gender. My gender. And my feelings about being a cis girl over time.

When I was little I used to wear all kinds of dresses and wore nail polish and even occasionally makeup (but like. Sloppily as a 7 year old would lol) and how overtime I stopped wearing nail polish and stopped wearing dresses and despised make up. I dont really remeber why I stopped with nail polish. Maybe because it flaked off too easily or maybe I was sick of the few colors we had idk. I know I gradually stopped wearing dresses and night gowns because I was sick of being told I couldnt "put my legs up [up against the wall or just straight up in the air] or that I had to sit a certain way while wearing one. So I wore more and more pants.

I think about how i used to stand in the toys aisles while my mom did grocery shopping and look at "The Boys" section and think how much cooler it was than the girls section.

And I think about how my music teacher told us one day we'd hit puberty and we'd grow and us girls would be like "[in a high pitched voice] OH MY GOSH I LOVE BOYS AND DID YOU HEAR ABOUT SO AND SO" and I looked over at my classmates and friends to see if they were also terrified of becoming annoying teenage boy-obsessed girls.

And i think about how when I was at my friend's house and we were building "tree forts" in the woods i would wish I had a penis for the convenience of being able to just go pee behind a tree, because squatting near the ground was Not Fun and I hated walking all the way back to the house. And I think about how I hated that I'd have to wear a bra once my boobs started to come in

Now you might be thinking. Friend I think you want[ed] to be a boy. But the thing is, i dont.

I may have hated being restricted in dresses but I dont actually hate them. I've gotten a couple dresses in the last 10 years (for prom and graduation and a [not my] wedding) and how I actually did like how I looked in them and enjoyed wearing them for that time.

I think about how I was jealous of the boys selection of toys, but also how I had a ton of barbies that I massively enjoyed and how if I'd been a boy I probably wouldnt have been able to enjoy them (thanks to pressure from society) as well as a bunch of other "girly" items and shows and movies. I think about how I'm actually Asexual and that I wasnt scared of becoming "a young woman", I just didnt understand the obsession with sex/romance/boyfriend&girlfriend stuff.

And while having a penis is more convenient for peeing I also remeber thinking that it would suck to get kicked in the balls and/or that trope of falling on soemthign between your legs that happens in so many movies (not that it feels any better with a vagina honestly). And that if I had been born a boy I'd most likely have to deal with all the toxic masculinity forced on me, and I'm glad I dont have to deal with that.

And while me and my boobs dont always get along, I remember that after getting my first cute bra, I thought. Oh well maybe this isnt so bad. And I mostly wear sports bras now because I do wish they were smaller and I HATE that so many bras (EVEN THE SPORTS BRAS) are already padded into cup shapes, and while I don't mind Having Boobs, i Do Not want to show them off. And sometimes i think that maybe i wouldn't mind chopping them off, but then i think how my figure/outline/silhouette would look with out them, and that seems worse.

And i think about the times I've accidentally been called "Sir" from tired fast food employees when wearing gender nonspecific clothing and felt happy about it. But not "oh it feels right to be called sir/he/him" , but more of "hehe I fooled you! You thought this was a dress but its pants!"

And really this is all to say. I was born a girl and grew up that way so it's what I'm used to. If I'd been born with a dick then I guess I'd be a guy. If you magically stuck me in a male body right now, would I feel like a Guy or feel like a girl in a guys body? I honestly dont know. So am I non binary? Maybe that that doesnt quite feel right either.

Being a girl is what I've grown up as and into, and it's what I'm used to and going by anything else is… odd. Maybe itd be better and maybe it wouldnt. It's like an old blanket. You've had it forever and maybe its frayed and patched maybe a little too small and it's not what people expect you to have for a blanket, and maybe you could do with a new one. But nothing feels right with out it. No other blanket feels the same. It's what you're used to and its familar. It's a comfort blanket.

And that's why being a [cis] girl is my comfort gender.

[varpusvaras]

Had a talk with wife last night about the fact that neither of us really wants to be called "mom" in the future, and instead we wish for our kids to call us by our first names. I'm curious now:

[owlbelly]

i have some very nice, full-length, in my opinion not-super-femme skirts that i usually wear in the summer mostly for comfort reasons, though i haven't worn any of them this year at all because of being unusually gender exhausted

but today i was like fuck it. it's very hot out. i'm just running errands. cis people probably won't even talk to me

so of course the very first thing that happens is a woman in the store says "MISS? oh i'm sorry, is that your pronoun?" :') & i go "sure, whatever" (miss/misses/missself) & wave it off because again, exhausted, & she then proceeds to pitch me her entire female empowerment scented candle business plan & ask what i think of it like i'm a one-person lady focus group

& this is not even a one-off kind of thing. i am so glaringly GNC that when i do wear anything even remotely feminine-coded it's like there's suddenly a flashing neon sign above my head saying "GIVE ME SOME REINFORCEMENT, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING!?"

like...my day-to-day look is so unnoticeable, people go "oh another ugly dyke" & their eyes just slide right off me, and then i put on a skirt & women are falling over each other to tell me how brave i am for shaving my head or how they want to make sure their she-candles speak to my unusual but valid goddess spirit