#or someone who actually understands who im brave enough to talk to about this.. ugh fuck.

[birthday-of-music]

ughhhhjajsjajahshdhdhdb

[catxsnow]

INTERRUPTED G.L.

Request: May i request a gar imagine where they keep trying to have their 'first time' but they keep getting interrupted by other titans. you don't have to write smut if you're not comfortable im just here for the the fluff + the titans reaction to the morning after for bonus because i feel like that would be so funny to write.

Warning: mentions of s.e.x. 

A/N: This was so cute to right! I love writing for Gar 

Word Count: 3.3k

Gar Logan was one of a kind.

He was the kind of person that could make you smile on your worst days. The only one who seemed to truly care when you needed to talk to someone. And most importantly, he was the one person in this world that you would die for. Over and over again.

You would do anything for him, repeatedly if he asked. Make him supper every night? Of course. Train with him? Every day. Fall asleep in his arms at night? You couldn't sleep without him. Have sex with him? As much as you wanted to, every time you went for it, someone got in the way.

It was frustrating how many times you got interrupted and soon you were about to do it whether or not someone in the team needed you. Each and every time you and Gar got some time alone, someone was always there to interrupt you.

Gar was a shy person, everyone knew that. He was awkward when it came to PDA and he frankly, had no idea what the hell he was doing half the time. Lucky for him, you could help along the way. He learned from you and to be honest, you learned a few things from his as well. You guys had molded into the perfect couple.

Dick wasn't happy to see the two of you dating. He knew how messy it could get to date teammates but there was also nothing that he could do to stop you. So, as he watched you from a far, he also reminded you to be careful. And you were, just maybe not in the sense that he told you to.

The first time you were interrupted was partially been your own fault. You knew that the Titans were busy with trying to take down their latest enemy and yet you still deemed it a good time to finally have your first time with Gar. It was relatively early in the evening but you couldn't stop the feeling running through your core.

You had barely gotten your shirt off when Dick came knocking at your door to say that the two of you were needed and to suit up. As disappointed as you were, you couldn't be mad at him for needing you and your boyfriend for a mission. So, reluctantly, you geared up and headed out while Gar tried to hide his rather obvious boner.

You didn't think that anyone on the team noticed that you were in the middle of something during that mission. Besides you being a little extra frustrated, it seemed that you and Gar was just hanging out. Dick didn't have an ounce of guilt in him - but he would have if he had known the truth.

By the time that you got back home, you passed out as soon as your head hit the pillow. Gar went to sleep that night dreaming of you.  

The second time that you found your night ruined was by Rachel. Gar had stupidly forgot to lock his door and Rachel found herself barging in when he didn't answer the knock on his door. Gar was hovered of you, lips attacking your neck and shirt completely off. He was better than you - nothing but your underwear and the blankets to cover you.

Rachel screeched just about as loudly as the door slammed. She wasn't expecting to walk in on that - in fact she thought you were out of the tower for the night. Rachel nearly ran down the hall trying to get the images of her two best friends out of her head. In public, the two of you never showed any PDA  to the point that she sometimes forgot you were actually dating.

Gar huffed in annoyance and rolled down beside you. His heart was racing from the experience and he couldn't help but the bright red blush that covered his face. He stared up at the ceiling and tried to get rid of his frustration at Rachel - he was really looking forward to finally having the time to have sex with you.

Never in his life was he so disappointed and embarrassed at the same time. Having his closet friend barge in on him on his almost first time didn't exactly get him riled up to keep going.

"'s a cute look for you," You teased him, poking at the redness in his cheeks and neck. He found himself blushing lots with you, and every time you couldn't help but admire him even more. Gar rolled his eyes and rummaged for two random shirt, one for himself and the other for you. "Rachel ruin the mood for you?"

"Did it not ruin it for you?" Gar jokingly scoffed at you. He watched you pull his shirt over your head and then crawl out of his bed. You knew what you were doing to him - swaying your hips as you walked by, bending down real slow as you picked up a pair of his sweats off the floor. His red face became even brighter as you pulled his pants up your legs. "I don't think that's gonna help."

"Can't say I didn't try," you winked at him. Walking by his mirror, your just barely got a glance at your neck. Faint bruises covered your skin - not dark enough to be obvious to anyone not paying attention but just enough to remind you that you were once again so close. "Never would have guessed you were a hickey kinda guy. Maybe it's the tiger in you."

"If it were the tiger in me I think you'd have a lot more damage," Gar joked. He laid flat against his bed and waited for you to join him. You flopped down on the opposite side of the bed and tilted you head to face him. "You've got pretty eyes."

"And you're a sap," You grinned, lightly smacking his chest. "Movie?"

"Sure," Gar quickly agreed. He loved movie nights with you. Warm blankets, you cuddled into his side, and nothing but happiness in his heart. "I'd say popcorn too but I'm too afraid to accidentally run into Rachel out there."

"There's my brave boyfriend I know and love."

><

The third time that you got interrupted was probably to most infuriating time. Jason, of all people had to be the one nagging at your door that he needed your help. You hoped that he would go away if you just ignored him, but he still didn't give up.

"I can hear you in there, (Y/N)," Jason knocked once more on  the door. You were straddling Gar, hands on his bare chest  and eyes squeezed shut in hopes that he would leave. It was no use. You wouldn't have been so mad if the two of you had already had sex at one point in your relationship - but it seemed like you never got the chance.

It had taken you so long to get Gar confident enough to be wanting to do it. This wasn't your first rodeo, but it was his. And as much as you wanted to make it special for him, it seemed like your time got more limited as the weeks went on. It wasn't just his first time, it was yours together - you wanted it to be romantic.

"You think he's gonna leave?" you whispered. Gar shook his head. With a sigh, you rolled off of him and plucked your clothes from the floor to halfheartedly put them back on to answer the door. Gar stumbled to do the same. Your hair was a mess and you were sure your shirt was on backwards but you honestly didn't care anymore.

You unlocked your door and whipped it open. Jason was standing with his fist raised and ready to knock again. He was taken aback by your appearance. Messy clothes, anger in your eyes - you were not pleased to see him. And you weren't. At all.

"What, Jason?" You snapped at him. This better be good for him to come knocking on your day. This time you really thought that you and Gar were going to make it through the night without anyone getting in your way. Apparently, you were mistaken. Again.

"Can I borrow your Led Zeppelin record?" Jason asked. You could swear that you felt your eye twitch with anger and steam coming out of your ears. You were beyond furious that he interrupted you and Gar just to borrow some stupid record of yours. Fucking Jason Todd.

Your hands clenched into fists at your side and the rest of your body was tense. It wasn't Jason saw Gar sheepishly sitting on the edge of your bed did he realize he made a mistake. You were ready to lost your shit at him for this, and you would have too if it wasn't for Gar.

He joined you at the door and placed a hand on your lower back under your shirt. His touch washed away your anger - at least some of it. "Hey, Jay," Gar smiled. You couldn't understand why he was able to keep his calm so easily, this affected him just as much if not more.

With a huff, you stalked to the corner of your room to find the record that he was talking about. You were tempted to smash it right in front of him just to leave him without the satisfaction, however it was one of your favourites too. Instead, you smacked it onto his chest and slammed the door in his face.

That should have been a big enough hint that you were furious at him.

"UGH!" you groaned as you plopped down on your bed. Limbs spread out on your messy sheets and disappointment rolling off you like waves. You were more horny than you ever have been in your whole life and yet you couldn't bring yourself to go back to what you were doing. This was a whole new kind of sexual frustration.

"Is this god giving us a sign?" You grabbed the pillow you weren't laying on and smashed it against your face. Gar chuckled at you and removed the pillow to kiss you. "Why? I just! Ugh! I'm so angry right now I can't even decide what I want to be angry about!"

"You're adorable when you're angry," Gar flirted. You glared up at him which only enticed a laugh. Usually, the sound of his laughter always brought a smile to your face, this time it just made you more frustrated with everything going on. You snatched the pillow out of his hands and hit him across the chest with it.

Gar raised his eyebrows at your outburst. He darted for the other pillow on your bed and smacked you back. He knew that this meant for him - a full out war. If there was one thing that you took seriously it was pillow fights. You never lost a single one and Gar had been the unfortunate loser every time.

"I take it back!" He cowered away from your raised pillow. You narrowed your eyes at him but slowly lowered your weapon. "You're angry already I don't want you to release it all out on me."

"Wanna go train?" You countered.

"At midnight? No!" Gar shook his head, bewildered that you wanted to go work up a sweat this late at night. It was one way to get your frustration at Jason out. You could already imagine that the punching bag was his face. "I'm ready to go to bed. And don't you dare say you're too angry to sleep."

"I'm angry enough to kick you out."

"No, you're not."

"No, I'm not."

><

Gar knew if that if the two of you got interrupted one more time, you might literally kill someone.

So, he did what any wise boyfriend would do and warned everyone on the team that if anyone knocked on your door that night, it better be because of the end of the world and nothing less of it. Though he never stated why, he was sure that the team all understood what his plan was for the night.

It was a few days after your last incident with Kori - a completely embarrassing story that you or Gar never wanted to think about ever again. That by far, had to have been the worse experience that you ever had within the tower and you hoped that Kori would never bring it up ever.

Gar had the night planned out in his head. With no one to bother the two of you, he hoped the night would go smoothly. After all your failed tries, it had to. All he had to do was wait for you to get back to the tower.

It felt like hours that he was lounging around in your room for you to come back. He went from playing some of your records to snooping around to looking at old pictures of you and your family. Time seemed so slow and when he finally heard the creak of your door open up he couldn't hide his grin.

"Holy shit, Gar!" you grabbed onto your chest. You had no idea that he'd be in your room. You draped your coat over your chair and dropped down to your bed. It had been a long day and there was nothing more that you wanted to do than to spend time with your boyfriend. "What are you doing in here? Creeping?"

Gar never answered your question but simply strolled over to your door and turned the lock. You raised an eyebrow at the sound - the only time you ever locked your door was when clothes came off. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to be disappointed with another interruption again."

"It's not gonna happen," Gar promised you. You sat up on your bed with a weary look. It was four times now that you had gotten your night caught off, a fifth time would only mean that you were nothing but bad luck. However, Gar's confidence in the two of you being left alone sparked an excitement through you.

You reached out to snatch his hand and tugged him onto the bed with you. Without even giving him a second to adjust, your lips were on his. Gar savored this kiss with you - the gentleness of your touch being dominated by eagerness. You wanted this night more than anything.

Gar was nervous - of course he was nervous. This was his first time and he didn't want to disappoint you. He knew that you would never be upset by him, no matter how the night went on his behalf. You wanted this night to be for him, not for yourself. But after all this time, you needed his touch just as much as he needed yours.

His fingertips danced along your skin and under your shirt. He was always so gentle with you; as if you were made a glass and a single harsh touch would shatter you. You didn't waste time to tug off his shirt, breaking your kiss for only a moment before coming together again.

Gar pulled you off the bed just enough to pull of your sweater and everything underneath it. Cold air dusted across your bare chest and enticed a shiver through you.

"This is usually about the time someone comes in, you sure that it's not gonna happen?" You joked. Gar's lips trailed down your neck, nipping and sucking as he mad his way to his desired destination.

"I'm sure," Gar promised. He left a more pressured bite right against your pulse point and you couldn't help but moan at the feeling. You could feel him smile against your skin, happy that he was the one causing you this pleasure.

"Last chance, if someone walks into this room after this I'm not stopping for them."

Gar only unbuttoned your jeans in response.

><

"So, uh, fun night?"

You were never embarrassed about someone else knowing you had sex. Your friends used to harass you but they never got a reaction out of you. Even now, when your won teammates knew exactly what you and your boyfriend had done the night before, you felt no ounce of sheepishness. You couldn't say the same about Gar.

Last night had been perfect. Not a single person tried to get you for something and Gar had been amazing. You wanted to relieve that night over and over again. You didn't have a single disappointment and you were sure that Gar felt the same way.

He could see why you were so mad every time you got interrupted. He was missing out on so much all this time.

The next morning, the two of you strolled out of your room with painfully obvious signs of what had happened. Dark bruises covered your neck and you had his shirt from the previous day hanging on your shoulders. Gar's hair was a mess and no amount of brushing would tame it down.

Gar tried to sneak back to his room to shower but the second that he stepped out in the hall, Jason was passing by and ushered the two of you to breakfast. He could not wait to see the amount of teasing that you guys were about to get from everyone else. So, the two of you were seated in your normal spots as Rachel finished cooking for everyone.

Jason sat across the table from you and only smirked at your glare. Rose looked between the two of you. She opened her mouth to speak but then decided against it. It was finally Rachel that spoke up and asked about your night.

You cleared your throat before answering. "Um, yep. Just uh, chill."

"Mhmm," Dick nodded to your answer. He sat on the other side of you and stared directly at your neck while you avoided his gaze. Quickly, he raised his arm to flick one of your hickey's. "Chill night, huh?"

"Ow!" you hissed in pain. Without thinking, you kicked him from under the table, which only proved even more that you were lying - not that anyone needed more proof. "Stop being such, such a dick! I'm a grown adult too, you know."

"And the kids are suddenly all grown up," Kori joined in on the teasing. Everyone was aware of her... relationship, with Dick. She was in no position to tease you about having sex with a teammate. 

"You've literally known us for less than a year," Gar pointed out after shoving a forkful of food in his mouth. "And you're not that much older than us."

"Yeah, we'll next time go to Gar's room and bother Rachel," Jason complained. He was pretty sure he nearly busted his eardrums from how loud his headphones were last night. There was still ringing in his ears. Gar's face flushed red and the comment and Rachel had to point it out to make it worse.

"Guy's stop bugging Gar," you rolled your eyes to their teasing. Your hand searched for his under the table and as soon as you found it you interlocked fingers. The last thing you wanted was for him to feel uncomfortable and then have to wait another long time before having sex again - this wait was far too long already.

"Young love," Rachel sighed.

"Well, thanks for breakfast Rach, I gotta shower," You stood up from your chair and looked around at everyone. The hickies that Dick had just made fun of reflected perfectly in the sunlight for everyone to see. Gar sat at the table with his head in his hands as everyone stared at him. 

As much as you hated that everyone interrupted you at least once, being with Gar was well worth the wait. He was nothing but perfect with you, and that’s all that mattered. 

"And I also just want to say I fucking hate you all, if you ever knock on my door again expect a punch to the face."

[nerdybookworm25]

Rambling about Katara and Zutara

Ok so I’m going to kind of just put my two cents out there on this stuff. I joined the ATLA fandom this past summer and just started watching TLOK (my brother and I just finished Book 2 yesterday). This is a hot debate and I just want to ramble on about my opinions on this stuff. A lot of this will focus on Katara’s perspective because I can understand her better than Zuko or Aang due to personal experience. Im just... gonna... get into it now...

I’ll give you some background on me so you guys can understand where I’m coming from. I’m a 15 year old girl with abandonment issues caused by multiple deaths of close friends and family at a young age (my uncle when I was 4, a grandmother like figure when I was 7, my dad’s mum when I was 9 or 10, my great grandma when I was 11, a close friend of my dad’s when I was 13 and many others). I also am the Mum Friend (my friends literally call me “Mum”). I’m the caregiver of the group- the glue, the harmonizer, the therapist, the teacher, the good advice giver etc. (This stuff actually hot me in trouble as a kid and it kind of messed me up). My friends who have seen Avatar have compared me to Katara on multiple occasions and say I’ve got the temperament of a waterbender. You can kind of see where I’d relate, you know?

I do ship Zutara. My brother turned to me during the Book 1: Water- Episode 9~ The Waterbending Scroll and asked, “What if Zuko becomes a good guy and ends up with Katara?” From then on I was on the Zutara hill and I’ll probably die there. It limited ships that I loved from childhood and I thought it would hav been really cool- it would have fit the themes of the show, it would have been a cool thing to see grow and blossom, etc. It had nothing to do with Katara and Zuko being attractive at all- not in the slightest. It also wasn’t me projecting onto Katara. I didn’t really care to notice any major similarities between us until Book Three: Fire- Episode 7~ The Runaway. It was this exchange that changed Katara from my favorite character to someone I could heavily relate to.

Toph: [Sarcasically.] Oh really, Mom? Or what are you gonna do? Send me to my room?

Katara: I wish I could!

Toph: well you can’t! Because you’re not my mom, and you’re not their mom! [Extends her arm at Aang and Sokka, who are sitting on a ledge.]

Katara: I never said I was!

Toph: No, but you act like it! You think it’s your job to boss everyone around, but it’s not! You’re just a regular kid like the rest of us! Stop acting like you can tell me what to do! I can do whatever I want!

I remember bursting out laughing when I heard this. My brother asked me what was up and I paused it and explained that that was a lecture I revived so regularly when I was younger. It really really ended up messing me up. It’s not like I tried to mother anyone- it just happened. I wasn’t controlling it. I didn’t notice I was doing it and I got in trouble. Now things are different and I’ve embraced the fact that I am the designated Mum Freind. Still working on getting over being told off about it in therapy though. Anyway, I think you now can understand where I’m coming from with this “analysis.” Now I’m going to get into it (for real this time lol).

I think I’m going to start with the caregiver stuff. Katara’s mother died when she was very young. It was a very traumatic death. We can infer that Katara blamed herself for this death because the Southern Raiders were looking for the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe- her. That’s a lot for an 8 year old to try to process. Here’s the kicker: I don’t think she ever fully processed it until after Book 3: Fire- Episode 16~ The Southern Raiders. She almost immediately helped her grandmother take up the roll as the woman of the house. She probably didn’t feel like she had anyone to talk to about what she was feeling however true or false that’s what she most likely perceived this to be. When Hakoda leaves for war with all of the men of the tribe, Kanna might be the matriarch and help raise Sokka and Katara but even Sokka admits that Katara became a pseudo-mother for him. Taking care of others doesn’t leave a lot of time to deal with your own issues. Sometimes it feels easier to help others face their demons than face your own.

We continue to see Katara become the glue of the Gaang as the series progresses. She keeps them together in the Si Wong desert after Aang leaves her, Sokka, Toph, and Momo. She’s always the one cooking, cleaning, and mending not because she wants to, but because she knows no one else will do it and it needs to be done. We see her try to coax Toph into helping out around camp when she firsts joins the Gaang. It doesn’t work and this conflict continues for most of Book 2 and the beginning of Book 3. All of this time, she’s making it a point to take care of everyone. When the adults show up after the Boiling Rock, she’s still the one making the dinner and probably does a lot of the other chores as well (except for tea making- this will come into play later).

There’s a running joke about Katara being “Momtara” within the ATLA fandom (more the Zutaraians in the fandom than anything else but it’s a pretty well known concept). We continue to see this when the Gaang is on Ember Island. She brings them all drink during training sessions, watches said training sessions in case someone gets hurt and they need her, wrangles Sokka to the best of her ability, and just generally looks out for everyone regardless of age gap. It’s her natural instinct to be motherly. She retains this quality even after she finds Yon Rha. (Getting closure on her mother’s death doesn’t mean losing what had become a major personality trait).

Let’s unpack that now, shall we? Kya dies and Katara thinks it’s her fault. She doesn’t really talk to anyone about it. A few years later, Hakoda leaves to fight in the war. The Southern Water Tribe recives no letters or news about what happened to their warriors at all. Katara felt like she lost another parent. She nearly says as much during Book 3: Fire- Episode 1~ The Awakening.

Hakoda: You’re taking about me too, aren’t you?

Katara: How could you leave us, Dad? [She attempts to wipe away the tears.] I mean, I know we had Gran-Gran, and she loved us, but we were just so lost without you.

Hakoda moves to comfort her as she turns away.

Hakoda: I’m so sorry, Katara.

Katara: [Embraces Hakoda.] I understand why you left. I really do, and I know that you had to go, so why do I still feel this way? I’m so sad and angry and hurt!

The thing that sets off this exchange is Aang running away for the third time since Katara has known him (the fourth time in Aang’s lifetime). The other times he ran were when confronted by the rude fisherman in Book 1: Water- Episode 12~ The Storm, then again during Book 2: Earth- Episode 11~ The Desert. Aang has a, for lack of a better word, chronic running away problem. I’m not mad at him for it. It makes him an interesting character and shows that he too has flaws (even if they aren’t always addressed but that’s an issue with Bryke). When Aang flys away after waking up during 3.1, Katara is distraught.

Katara: He left.

Hakoda: What?

Katara: Aang. He just took his glider and disappeared. He has this ridiculous notion that he has to save the world alone, that it’s all his responsibility.

Hakoda: Maybe that’s his way of being brave.

Katara: Its not brave, it’s selfish and stupid! We could be helping him and I know the world needs him, but doesn’t he know how much we need him, too? How can he just leave us behind?

Katara feels abandoned by Aang. This is completely understandable. She has every right to be angry at him and feel sad that he flew away. He comes back every time but I feel like if I were in her position, as much as I’d hope my friend would come back and I’d tell everyone that I knew he would, I’d still be afraid that there was an off chance that he doesn’t. This is a natural human reaction to this situation. People were seemingly constantly fading in and out of Katara’s life and that just wasn’t good for her mental health. It couldn’t have been. This also raises the question of if someone has a very serious fear of abandonment, would it be healthy to be in a romantic relationship with someone who consistently leaves? Personally I don’t think so. Be friends? Sure. Date? I don’t know. It doesn’t quite sit right with me.

Katara probably feels abandoned by Zuko too. During the Book 2 Finale: Crossroads of Destiny, Katara and Zuko bond in the crystal catacombs under Ba Sing Se. They relate over their shared fear of being abandoned by those they love (yes I think Zuko has abandonment issues too- among other issues/fears). When he turns his back on her, she doesn’t live him (obviously). She has cared about him enough up to that point to offer to use what is arguably her most powerful possession to heal his scar. She cares. Because she cares about him then, she is downright livid when he betrays her. (Of course the difference between Zuko and Aang with this is Zuko leaves once and comes back and he doesn���t leave again. Aang leaves and comes back over and over and over again).

Katara: I thought you had changed!

Zuko: I have changed!

Katara carries the weight of his betrayal on her mind until she and Zuko go on their life changing field trip to confront the man who killed Katara’s mother. This was her time to finally get closure. She had probably had these feelings bottled up for 6 years and didn’t act on them. When she finally had the chance, her best friend and brother tried to stop her. She lashed out.

Katara: We’re going to find the man who took my mother from me.

Sokka pauses and stands up, surprised.

Zuko: Sokka told me the story of what happened. I know who did it and I know how to find him.

Aang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?

Katara: [Shakes her head in dismay.] Ugh, I knew you wouldn’t understand. [Begins to walk away.]

Aang: Wait! Stop! I do understand. You’re feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?

Zuko: She needs this, Aang. This is about getting closure and justice.

Aang: I don’t think so. I think this is about getting revenge.

Katara: [Angrily.] Fine, maybe it is! Maybe it’s what he deserves!

Aang: Katara, you sound like Jet.

Katara: Its not the same! Jet attacked the innocent. This man, he’s a monster.

Sokka: Katara, she was my mother, too, but I think Aang might be right.

Katara: Then you didn’t love her the way I did!

Sokka: [Hurt.] Katara!

Katara gets a lot of flack for this interaction. She says Sokka didn’t love their mother like she did and Sokka I’d understandably hurt. It doesn’t excuse what she said, but people do lash out when they are feeling a lot of emotions and they get defensive when they feel like they’re being ganged up on or attacked (I myself am guilty of this sort of thing). What Katara said was wrong but I have no doubt in my mind that she didn’t apologize to Sokka when he and the rest of the Gaang arrive on Ember Island later in the episode. She is seen walking over to him after she hugs Zuko.

Zuko and Katara go after Yon Rha anyway. For once in her life, Katara is feeling emotions and no one is trying to get her to stop or to push them aside. She doesn’t have to be constantly taking care of someone so she can focus on herself. Katara trusts Zuko more than I think she realizes. I mean she trusts him with a lot and he follows through on a lot of unspoken/subconscious agreements and promises.

Zuko is looking out for her. Zuko has her back. Zuko is allowing her to feel all of these emotions and work them out of her own accord. Zuko isn’t telling her to feel one way or another. Zuko isn’t going to judge her for whatever she decides to do when they find Yon Rha or what she does in order for them to get to that point. Zuko ensures she gets the closure she feels she needs.

When he sees her bloodbend, he’s surprised, but he isn’t appalled. When he thinks she’s going to run Yon Rha through with a giant shard of ice, he doesn’t try to stop her. He lets her be her. He sees a dark side of her in a way that no one else in the Gaang has seen. It’s strangely intimate. Clearly it has enough of an impact to make her forgive him. She knows he isn’t going to abandon betray her and her friend again.

Once they become friends, and even before that, Zuko starts to help out with small things here and there. We see him making tea for all of the kids at dinner. He tells jokes to make them laugh. He teaches Aang firebending. He goes with Sokka to the Boiling Rock to make sure he doesn’t get himself killed or in a prison cell for the rest of his life. With all of this, “Dadko” is born.

If you strip away Zuko’s anger, he just becomes the awkward-turtleduck-first-time-father that we all know and love. There’s more balance in the Gaang with him there to help and become an “authority” figure with Katara. They become the parents of the other members of the Gaang. It’s an interesting shift in their relationship- enemies to unsteady acquaintances to enemies to frenemies to friends. They’re close enough that they show small signs of physical intimacy and they tease each other.

Also if you look close enough when the Gaang walks into the “seedy Earth Kingdom tavern,” Zuko and Katara appear to be holding hands and are near each other from then until the finale episodes. They are clearly just great friends by the end of the show. I mean Zuko also takes a bolt of lightning to the chest for her...

Zuko doesn’t leave when his life gets difficult- not after he joins the Gaang. He made that mistake once and he won’t make it again. Aang was always part of the Gaang but continued to leave (again, I’m not mad at him for it but he never seems to realize the effect it has on the people around him- especially Katara). Zuko also doesn’t all but forget Katara and continue to run around the world. When Zuko fully decides to stick around, you best believe he is sticking around.

This works really well for Zutara. They’re both each other’s rock. They support each other and help each other in times of trouble. Do they argue? Yes. Is that a normal part of a healthy relationship- romantic or otherwise? Yes. Do they take care of and look out for each other while also not smothering or suffocating each other? Yes. I don’t know about you but this sounds stable and healthy to me. They balance each other out so well (I’m not going to get too into that because if you’re reading this you probably already know with the whole Tui and La, Yin and Yang, Oma and Shu thing).

Now, this is a big deal for me and it makes me furious, but Katara is forgotten by history. She has no statue. She is reduced to a housewife and healer- things our wonderful water feminist was afraid of becoming as an adult. I mean this girl

This girl

THIS GIRL

She becomes nothing but a housewife stuck in a healing hut who gets forgotten by the world and left behind by her family just... let’s all of that happen? Yeah that’s pretty unrealistic. I think about this frequently and with starting TLOK I have formed even more opinions and have a little thingy (I don’t know what to call it) for what happened to her.

Kya II is everything Teenage Katara wanted to do and be before settling down. Old Katara is everything Teenage Katara was so afraid of become reduced to/becoming.

It’s an interesting way to think about it and I thought I’d share. Now if Katara was Fire Lady, she wouldn’t end up like that. She’d have the power to change the world and continue to fight for what she believed in. She could have helped with the trail with Yakone. Katara has so much potential to not be forgotten or brushed aside and somehow it happened. It makes me so sad. The potential Zutara had to make sure Katara had a genuine legacy was right there at their finger tips and they didn’t use it. What a shame. What a shame.

With all of the things I’ve talked about, I just feel like Zutara would have been better for Katara than Kataang was. I think that’s more Bryke not developing the relationship well enough and instead choosing to be sloppy and selfish in the way they structured the relationship. Yeah this is my rambling on about the issue. Hope it was mildly entertaining! If you want me to write something about how Zuko would have benefited from Zutara, let me know!

[freeshavacado]

My thoughts while reading Gone by Michael Grant:

* wait how old is Sam

* He do be liking Astrid doe

* Damn so Sam is a Leader

* Ew Orc is an 8th grader? 🤮

* Ok I googled it Sam is 14

* I like Quinn

* Sam thinks he’s so awkward but he’s actually really chill so far

* THE PAIN THIS GIRL IS GOING THROUGH OH MY GOD

* Poor Mary :(

* Howard’s a bitch

* Cut to Quinn being a racist motherfucker

* I love Edilio

* Sam is WHIPPED for Astrid

* Orc is such a piece of shiiiiiit

* LANAAAAA :(((

* Poor thing is in so much pain

* Patrick her dog is alive so that’s good

* She’s deadass slowly dying

* Thank god her arm is better

* I want to make this into a TV series

* If Sam and Astrid don’t kiss at some point I swear

* Hahahaha Sam do be shirtless rn

* Why isn’t Astrid happy to see Little Pete???

* MARY. IF YOU POUR HOT ASS COFFEE ON A CHILD, DONT JUST STAND THERE AND THEN RUN AWAY. PUT COLD WATER ON THE BURN

* Aw Mary has had bulimia since she was ten :(

* Ok so what she just took her Prozac and then threw up? Wouldn’t the pill go up too? I think your stomach/body needs like 30 minutes to absorb it into the blood stream...

* HELP SAM HES CHOKING

* Bruh my ass would be so exhausted

* Quinn low key an ass tho

* Lol edilio isn’t standing for this bullshit

* Lmaooo Astrid knew 💀

* Omg little Pete has it too

* Wow Quinn is an asshole pt 2

* I feel like Caine is gonna be a villain...like he’s pretty AND nice? Nah bro too good to be true

* Fucking Orc god 😒😒😒

* Caine is up to some shit 🤨

* Lmao hold up

* Diana probably whipped tho

* Sam please only be a simp for Astrid 😩

* I bet Drake is hot

* Aww computer Jack :) DONT YOU TURN ON ME SON

* “The captain is already maintaining” Bullshit 💀

* Are they really gonna call this eighth grader ‘Captain’?

* LMAOOO THE BASTARD CANT EVEN READ OR WRITE 💀💀💀

* Lol making Sam the fire chief because he was brave enough to go into a fire one time, so therefore he is the most qualified

* Bruh that’s like if I gave a kid the Heimlich maneuver bc he was choking on a gummy worm or some shit and they were like “Well because she did that, she should be the head doctor!!!”

* CAINE IS FULL OF SUCH BULLSHIT OML

* PRETENDING TO CRY N SHIT GOD

* I already know that Diana is gonna try and seduce Sam while she’s actually a spy for the private school kids

* Which, btw, of course it’s the private school kids smh

* I feel like maybe Computer Jack will be someone who eventually switches to the Good Side

* ALSO wow jack really be thinking that he’s smarter than Astrid smh 🙄

* Jack is such a smartsass

* Diana is such a fucking bitch oh my god 😒😒😒

* “You don’t look tough, Astrid” STFU SHES THE TOUGHEST OF THEM ALL

* Ok but I bet Diana and Astrid low key have sexual tension. Like obviously nothing’s gonna happen...but still

* Bruh I hate Caine

* Fuckin Diana with her ‘readings’ bullshit smh

* YESSSS LANA 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 so strong

* Literally how do they not know how to make pasta

* “I thought your people ate tortillas,” QUINN YOU RACIST PEICE OF SHIT UGH

* Poor Bette :(

* Orc is a piece of shit, I know we’ve already established this but I wanted to say it again

* I love Edilio so much

* Orc really using a slur against Edilio huh. Imma kill him

* IM SO DONE WITH QUINN. THIS BITCH REALLY JUST SAID “let him have her” LIKE TF????

* Drake is such a bastard oh my god

* If you hate Quinn and you know it clap your hands 👏🏻👏🏻

* No seriously. I fucking hate him.

* Nooooo Bette died :((

* “I can’t kiss you with your little brother watching” AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

* Did they kiss or not wtf

* What the hell is up with this cat

* Ah so they did kiss!!

* Why didn’t I get details 🤨

* No a baby died 😞

* Quinn s u c k s

* How convenient that Sam got there *right* before Emma disappeared

* Those last 6 minutes before Anna disappeared too and was calling out to her sister, and so for what she thought was her last few minutes on earth she held sams hand :(

* Lol Diana sucks

* ‘WoRDs DONT sCArE mE’ shut up Drake

* Okay Computer Jack is definitely going to betray them because they underestimate him and take him for granted

* You’re telling me Caine and Sam could be TWINS???

* Why was the kiss ‘a mistake’ ?

* Okay NOW they’re awkward

* “But it was the first time I meant it” I CANT. ITS SO CHEESY

* I HATE QUINN

* These kids are crazy violent

* Fuck Diana

* Yikes now Sam only has some of his eyebrows left 😬

* Caine is in love with Diana 👀

* Little Pete might be more powerful than Caine 😛

* THESE KIDS ARE CRAZY LIKE CHILL

* Diana: I really dislike you Astrid: of course you dislike me, I make you feel inferior

* ROASTED ^

* Mmmm Quinn is trying to redeem himself

* “Don’t call me brah. I’m not your brother” OHHHHHHHHHHH HE REALLY WENT THERE

* that’s what you get for being a backstabbing asshole

* Poor Astrid :(

* Poor Little Pete :(

* Bro I need this to be a movie

* I love that Sam just punched Quinn like we had no choice but to stan

* Ok drake would definitely shoot up a school

* Fuck Drake

* Lana is so strong. Like she’s been in so much pain physically and mentally, and she almost died. But she saved herself and now even though she thinks she might be the only person left alive on earth, she is still keeping strong.

* What happens if the boat runs out of gas?

* Bruh these coyotes don’t give up

* THE COYOTES AGAIN??

* “Go out” “You’ll kill me,” “Yes. Go out, die fast. Stay, die slow”

* Wowwwwwwwwwww^

* Lmaooo “L.P.”

* Awwww Sam: “...she was still so beautiful that sometimes he had to look away.”

* Okay he a lil’ horny

* Awe Astrid and Sam hugging I’m soft 🥺

* I’m so sick of these damn coyotes

* Bruh these coyotes 😒

* Diana is annoying

* Literally can’t remember who Andrew is, but they’re about to film his passing away like wtf

* Poor Andrew :(

* “You’re a deep sleeper, Jack. Just now, while you were sleeping? I held your pudgy little hand. Probably as close as you’ll ever get to holding hands with a girl. Assuming you even like girls.” FUCK YOU DIANA

* Okay so Diana will protect Jack as long as he ‘belongs’ to her and does what ever she wants? That’s pretty sus

* Sam and Astrid kissed again 😖☺️

* Lmaooo Albert over here running McDonald’s

* Salads disappeared quickly from the McDonald’s menu since this whole thing? Who the hell orders a salad from McDonald’s?

* So Albert kinda whipped for Mary 👀

* I haaaaatttteeee the private school kids

* Y’know what depending on where I was and who I was with in this situation, I might’ve just killed myself

* “Remember who owns you” ew 🤨

* Diana. I hate you

* Bro I feel bad for Andrew

* How is Lana back at the cabin?

* That IS Lana right??

* Okay things are moving fast between Sam and Astrid. Like she’s already saying “I just want you here with me. Safe” like 🤢

* Lana, about Sam: your boyfriend? Astrid: ThAts nOt WhAt iTs AbouT

* LMAOO AFTER SHE SAID THAT SHE SAID IN A LOW VOICE “kind of” WHAT

* Lol Lana be out here like “yeah shits crazy. Get with the program”

* Ew they’re eating pudding with their hands 🤮

* I don’t care how hungry you are, that’s gross

* Like get a spoon or something

* Lana just called Astrid “smart girl Barbie” 🤨

* Part of me is like “lol” but the other part of me is like “bruh stop Astrid did nothing wrong”

* I still hate Quinn but he is kind of funny

* Lana calling Astrid “the blonde” like girl 😑

* Bruh you’re stuck in a house that is literally on fire and getting hotter by the second as it fills with smoke, now is not the time to be kissing Astrid

* Finally the damn coyotes are gone.

* Sam is so angry and he’s disgusted with himself for being so angry, I relate

* Fuck you, Quinn

* Fuck drake

* I would gladly kill Drake

* OOOOOOOOO EDILIO LIKES LANA AHHHHHH

* SIMP

* omg I love it 😩

* Lmaooooo Sams speech wow

* Sam you should NOT forgive Quinn. Especially not that fast. Yikes.

* Orc should feel bad for killing Bette. I have no pity for him rn

* Yes please kill drake.

* I am so happy that his arm is on fire. 100% he deserves to feel that pain

* Aww that’s kinda nice that Albert is planning thanksgiving dinner for everyone

* DAMMIT DRAKE

* I hate drake so much like dude just shut up and leave everyone alone

* Orc oh my god I could not be rolling my eyes harder right now

* Tbh if Orc and his other friends die, I’m okay with that

* What tf is up with this DVD

* Little Pete caused all of this??? 😦

* I’m sooooo sick of this whole darkness and coyote stuff istg

* Where is Patrick?????

* If Patrick is dead imma throw hands

* Diana is such an evil person. Like Drake is a monster, but she’s horrible in a different way.

* Also ughhhhhhhhhh Drake is back 😒😒😒😒😒 so sick of that mf

* “So. When do we go take down Sam Temple?” 🙄🙄🙄 no one likes you Drake

* AHAHAHHSJAHSHSHHSHD

* SAM JUST TOLD ASTRID HE LOVED HER

* AND SHE SAID IT BACK

* IM. S O F T

* (like my brain is still saying “y’all have talked for less than two weeks and you’re 14”)

* But like whatever 😭❤️

* My eyes just rolled into the back of my skull once Diana appeared

* Taylor low key flirting with Sam tho 👀

* When I first met Dekka, I was all: ‘what the hecka?’

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* I’m crying because Quinn couldn’t kill Drake because he was scared, and now children are screaming. Ugh I really wanted him to kill Drake but I understand that killing someone is a crazy thing to have on your conscience

* Call me cold hearted, but I would’ve shot him

* This is all in theory of course ^ I bet if I was in that situation though it wouldn’t be as easy as “just shoot him”

* I don’t think I’ve ever been more annoyed with a fictional character than I am with Drake rn

* Yooo I bet Isabella has some animal powers or sumn

* Caine 🙄🙄🙄 like that emoji doesn’t even come close to describing how annoyed I am

* Wait so is Patrick back now or...?

* Caine really just. Kissed Diana. Because she “owed him”????

* THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT

* I literally hate sooooooooo many characters in this book ugh 😒😒😒

* Quinn is watching Drake kill Sam and is doing nothing. I’m so done with this piece of shit

* Ok finally he tried to shoot him

* “You know it always gets me hot when you say ‘apt analogy.’” “Why do you think I do it?”

* Y’all 🥴🥴🥴

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* Literally? Imagine being this heartless. Giving up hundreds of kids to coyotes without hesitation. The hate I have for Caine is real

* Once again, Orc feeling bad for what he did to Bette. And honestly? I’m still okay with that

* This kid is an a l c o h o l i c

* Computer Jack is so annoying like dude stop holding on to Sams leg. Literally

* Still hate Diana, but I like that she’s helping out Sam a little bit

* Ew Diana just kissed Sam on the corner of his mouth 🤢

* I TOLD YALL ^^^

* Yay Patrick is alive :)

* “I guess we won,” Sam said. “Yeah,” Edilio agreed. “I’ll get the backhoe. Got a lot of holes to dig.”

* ^im. Depressed

* I cannot for the life of me remember who Cookie is

* “Orc sat with Howard in a corner by themselves. Orc had fought Drake to a standstill. But no one-least of all Orc-had forgotten Bette.”

* ^good.

* Y’all Sam and Astrid flirting I- 🥴🥴

* We love to see it ^

* Awww “we’re going to the beach” y’all Astrid and Sam are so cute

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* FUCK. Goddamn this cliffhanger 😡

[trashforcaptainlevi101]

Misogyny in the Anime Community

I can’t even really believe that I have to type this shit but I guess life is full of surprises. Follow my trip down a fucking gigantic shithole. 

THIS IS A LOT LONGER THAN I EXPECTED AND IM SORRY. BUT PLEASE READ IT. IN MY OPINION IT IS AN IMPORTANT MATTER. DONT IGNORE DAILY HARASSMENT OF WOMEN ONLINE. 

Since I’m a very sociable girl and I love Anime and I love love love the Tumblr-Anime-Community (except for some minor things but nothing’s perfect y’know) and so I decided to join some local Facebook-Anime-Groups. 

I was happy to gain new information about Anime and I was willing to throw myself into heated discussions about my favorite characters and shows. What I got instead was a shitbunch of misogyny and hatred towards “realistic female characters” that didn’t act like the **waifuuu** these guys wanted so badly. 

From the start I haven’t been as active in this groups as I was here on Tumblr. I didn’t interact as much even though I really tried to get into it something just put me off. Firstly, this was a men dominated group - like 85% AT LEAST were guys in their late teens up to early twenties and they all loved some good smashes in Anime and some hot girls with super big tits (there were even polls about which Anime girls more dudes would like to fuck or something). That was something that I could tolerate - I mean who am I to judge right? I, myself love me some hot pics of my favorite Anime boys and girls so no problem right? 

Unfortunately not. Most of the comments in these section were about what this men would do to this girl if they could have their way with her and I tell you what: these men are fucking disgusting. Actually using the word “rape” and “Taking advantage of” etc. in this context is in my opinion not okay. Especially when there are minors in this group (their parents probably failed to keep them under check because this group is not for minors). 

I still don’t know why I didn’t immediately leave the group (probably because there were like 5 good posts per month or because I wanted a daily reminder of how shitty men can be - of course not all men and women too!) 

Today I was refreshing my facebook page when said group popped up with a picture of one of my favorite Anime - NANA by Ai Yazawa. If you’re not familiar with it and don’t want to be spoiled then skip the next paragraph (I’ll try to not really spoil the plot only the relevant things? idk). 

NANA is a slice-of-life Anime about two girls named Nana, but one of them is frequently called Hachi and I’ll refer to her as Hachi. It’s a very mature and in my opinion realistic Anime and Manga when it comes to the plot and the actions of the characters. And the two female main characters - god forbid - have sex. Nana - presumably - has Sex with only one guy. Hachi on the other hand has sexual intercourse with a few different men. Which is okay and normal - HA! That’d what actual intelligent people would say, but not the dudes from this group. 

This one guy decided to watch NANA and I still don’t know how he even thought it would be a good idea to watch it because it’s about female empowerment and about finding your own path in this world as a girl and about even more but it always comes down to: females. 

And what happened to be popping up on my facebook page was this (I added ugly translations but so all of you understand): 

At first I had to google what “Sharmuta” even means, but at first look I knew it wouldn’t be something like “brave young woman”. I looked it up and - surprise - it means slut, skank, hoe, hooker, whatever term you prefer. You get it. 

Not only is NANA my most treasured Anime/Manga, I’m also a girl who hates being told how to live my life. Especially when I’m told by men who 1. don’t know me 2. think women should hide in the kitchen learning recipes until their unknown husband picks them up to get them pregnant. Ok that was a little over the top but you know what I mean. 

Naturally I felt attacked. I felt attacked because this is one of the works I truly admire and because the reason I love it so much is because of the complex and realistic relationships. I love that it’s not this “ugh I’m a virgin waiting for my prince”-trope. I love that there are female characters who embrace their sexuality and needs because that’s what I struggled with for so long. It portrays strong women who make mistakes (like everyone does) but they stand up for themselves and they own their mistakes and learn to live with them in the best way possible. It helped me find peace with my body and mind and showed me that it’s okay to live as you please. You don’t need to be ashamed of anything and the last thing you should be ashamed of is who and how you love and that it’s not shameful to enjoy sex or anything involved with sex. It’s okay for women to still their sexual needs. 

So - of course I had to speak up. I think I knew from the beginning that this would be useless but I just felt so infuriated that a men can openly slutshame a character that stands for female empowerment (correct me if I’m wrong, but this was my feeling?). 

FROM HERE ON I’LL POST THE TRANSLATION UNDER THE PIC BC OF SIZE REASONS AND I DONT WANT ANYONE TO THINK I MANIPULATED WHAT I OR HE SAID so whatever

Cucumber Guy: ok ...

Star Girl (me): I had to look this word up on google and the definition I found (slut) is - in my opinion - 100% not fitting. I’m sorry, but to call a girl who enjoys her sexuality and tries different things a slut is just wrong imo. What makes NANA such a masterpiece are the realistic dynamics and constellations between the characters and the lack of perfection. Hachi is not a slut and to call her that just shows your strange view of women. Of course, everyone can do as they like - but in this time and age it is so important to support girls in their decisions and to not always degrade them and question their every move. Stop slutshaming (even if it’s only a fictional character) : - ) 

Mr-Know-It-All: This text only shows me that you can identify with her as a charcter ... maybe you even feel like I was talking to you but sorry - a person like this (with such a foul character) is nothing you can make appear good 

Mr-Know-It-All: Nothing but the truth. 

Star Girl (me): to be honest I expected something like this as an answer. I think it’s horrifying how much misogyny hides behind your words and is something that’s completely unnecessary in todays society. Reality will get to you soon enough and you’ll realize that women have needs and there is no reason for you to judge that. Because I know that I can’t convince you otherwise I’ll just save my energy for something else : - ) 

Mr-Know-It-All: I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. Don’t try so hard to defend yourself or that illusion you have. That you even said “how much misogyny hides behind your statement” is ridiculous. If someone has seen the Anime and then reads your comments about it he has to pity you no matter what. Our society is damaged and that you think behavior like this is normal shows truly what you are. 

Mr-Know-It-All: For people who read “this discussion” without knowing the Anime. Just watch it (it’s a good show). But just so you understand: SPOILER: This ******** has an affair with a married an (for a long time period) ... and that’s only the beginning XD XD it only gets better. 

SO, to break this down again: 

- at first he assumes I identify with this character and that would make me a slut too so .. my opinion is not really valid right? 

- I try to reason with him one more time even though I already saw him as a lost cause and he then proceeds to tell me (put bluntly) that my point of view is what’s wrong with society. 

- he then tries to justify his opinion by slutshaming the character even further 

Maybe you don’t see a problem with this. Maybe you think I overreacted, but to be honest: I’m fed up. I’m fed up about being told that I’m only worth something if I’m “pure and innocent” - whatever that means! I’m so fed up with men like him degrading women because of their decisions and actions. Why are men allowed to make mistakes, to learn from their mistakes and to move on - but women have to be haunted by theirs for the rest of their life and through all eternity? And maybe - just maybe - someone doesn’t even see having an affair with a married man as a mistake and if they don’t IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS TO COMPLAIN. Women’s lifes do not belong to men. We are not something you can dictate however you want. We live. We feel. Sometimes we need things even though we know they are bad for us. We do things that we know can get us in trouble. We are human and it’s heartbreaking to see how many men still don’t get the idea that women can live a life on their own. That they don’t need someone to overlook their every move. 

I want the Anime Community to be open-minded, to be inclusive to everyone. I want everyone to feel welcome and safe. And even though there are often discourses - let’s handle them the classy way. I want to feel welcomed no matter what my sexuality is or how often I have sex or how much I admire a sex positive character. Sex positivity is so important, especially for young women, so let’s work hard together to make it something that’s okay. Okay to be talked about. Okay to be admired. And also okay to not be practiced since it’s not for everyone but that is also okay.

[vagabondghosts]

not that you’re ever going to read this anyway, but i remember there was a time when you once said to me that the first thing you did when you woke up was check my tumblr and facebook, so on the off chance you do, i wanted to type this up. i understand this isnt something you want to think about and that your main focus is to recover and come home and get your life back on track, but i guess i just need to get stuff off of my chest. everything i have felt for you has been real, everything i said to you and everything i had done for you back in 2015 was real, and i still feel the same. i know there are some complications, i know you’ve been going through hell for the past 2 years, and i get that i dont understand what youre going through because im not in your situation. but i just want you to know that it is all real. and maybe it was never real to you, maybe it still is and youre forcing yourself to distance it. i understand that youre trying to protect someone elses feelings, but you once told me when we started hanging out again at our friends house after we couldnt talk for two months that people caught on to his bullshit and that he was just using it as a weapon. and when we did start talking again after those two months, i asked you if we were allowed to be talking again, and you said “it’s no one elses business”. again, maybe none of it meant anything to you, or maybe because of what youre going through you feel that you need to distance yourself, i get that, but please dont tell me to not wait. i dont think you realise how much you mean to me, i once said you are my everything and i meant it, and you once told me that you didnt want me thinking that i didnt mean as much to you as you meant to me, and that i meant everything to you. you once told me something you were never meant to tell anyone, and that was such a brave thing for you to do, and also for me it was that you trusted me enough, more than a lot of other people. i remember when you’d get dropped off at home after my band practice and the first thing you would do is message me “i miss you”, we would also talk from the time we woke up until the time you would fall asleep during mid-conversation at night, and we did that every day. even when you were in college and meant to be working you would message me and send me pictures of your work that you had done. we would always try to see eachother whenever we could, because thursdays were always too far away. i even got to a point where i would walk the distance that people told me was stupid to do, but i did it because to see you was my goal. this year you even bought me a birthday present, something that now means so much to me, and you didnt have to, but you did. we had so many inside jokes and had so much that we wanted to do together. now, i dont even get an “i miss you”. we used to have so much fun together, either talking online or being together in person. we would think/say the same things at the same time. we actually went to restaraunts together, and you were the first person i was with to ever do that with. i’ll probably be forever jealous of everyone else who gets to see you and talk to you. i just want you to know that it was and still is real to me, and that you are unlike anyone else ive ever known. you inspire me to do so much, and you awoke this more confident me who can now go up to cashiers and order food or pay for stuff, things that ive never done before, things i was always too scared to do, and being with you woke up this new confident me. you managed to get me onto a bus, public transport being something ive always been scared of, and you held my hand the entire way and you made sure i was ok. you inspired me to go outside, even if its by myself, and just go for walks and be with nature. you inspired me to take that big step into meeting people who i would then form a great band with. i can now write songs and poetry and create art in an honest form and not hide behind a concept. with you i felt i could be myself, and dress the way i wanted to and not be told that ive changed and need to be who i used to and dress how i used to. and although i was already somewhat comfortable with myself in how i wanted to be, you made me feel great with how i wanted to dress and the sort of music i wanted to listen to, amongst so many other things. you didnt pressure me into being a certain thing like other people had. you helped me become me, and not someone who tried to be someone else to make other people happy. i have been selfless my entire life, and now ive decided on what/who i want to be selfish with. you do mean everything to me. you are everything to me.

this is probably a dumb bad example.. ugh

[whybotheranyway-blog]

When the going gets tough, tha tough gets goin'

It takes sometime for me to write a new blog..i miss the white background here and i miss writing too.uhm,thats a hella long title i wrote there,i may or may not change it later after i finish this i dont know what im going to write blog or is this just an additional blog of my senseless night whatevers.to begin with..ugh, i wonder why the rain didnt fall today.i miss the wet and gloomy weather..its so hot lately that i am seriously taking my usual bath from 3x to oh okay an additional 3 for me to feel okay,the truth is for me to take a good nap during daytime which i dont usually do and another truth is for my effin on and off fever that is taking my daily happy life away.if only i can do something with this in a snap, i would gracefully and gladly do,but thats too far from reality..sickly is the best concrete adjective for me to describe my self nowadays..again to begin my proper blog with..lemme take a deep breath first..(inhale the good shit/exhale the bad shit). Life for me is just being just happy..being contented with my everyday life..doing my usual stuffs like reading a good book then after i finish reading it i will think and imagine some nice and nasty feedback again just for my self,i dont know but i feel some kind of satisfaction after doing so,reading a book is really my thing..if only i can do that for the rest of my life i would really100x loooove to..books are the best companion.second is the dog..dogs are one of the best creations of God..one of dogs best traits is they know if you’re in a bad shape..its so amazing that they can sense it..im happy that i have one..chubby is the best dog that i could’ve imagined..she’s very cuddly,sweet and affectionate to me..i dont know but i feel some kind of a connection or something..i just can feel it..(while scratching chubbys fat neck down to her belly). How am i feeling lately?i dont know..but theres this one word that best describe my agony for the past couple of weeks..MISERABLE..yeah, if theres a more deeper word for miserable i think thats the one.but i cant think of any..MISERABLE is the best word to describe the whole feeling issue.i dont have to dwell on the worry thingy,it really doesnt help me.it makes me more miserable.from my eating habit down to my up and down emotions.that eating habit is very difficult to handle..how can i eat,chew,munch and eat again if the thing called appetite is not that friendly to me..especially during breakfast and dinner.i am having a great hard time eating right now..i dont know why maybe the worry word is the main reason.i am worrying because its oh so worrisome..if you know what i mean.and its getting on my nerve actually..i hate it as much as i hate a crawling snake, crawling towards me.*sighing* uhm next is my effin fever.its so abnormal,and what i hate the most is i have to deal with it normally like its a part of my everyday life..i should have known better..but i have to dwell and make things easy for me to hide the inner pains..thanks for that one box of pain relievers.it really help me a lot..especially during nightime..next is the tiny something inside of me, thank you for giving me a much more ways to worry about everything, please go away you are already causing too much pain and anxiety..thank you for the endless sleepless nights when the doctor found out about you,but please i am begging on bended knees..you have to go away for i have so many plans ahead..the last two decades of my life was in a mess and i had recently realize how important for me to live long coz theres this someone who is patiently waiting for me,my nanay is still alive and is willing to accompany me on my graduation soon,and theres my whole family waiting for that time to come,for they’re so eager to see me wearing a toga..so please tiny something inside of me, you are free to leave..i am begging..i promise that if you’ll go away,i will live and spend the rest of my life in a very good way..i know my wrongdoings before, and i regret everything that i did.so please i am begging you to leave..please..please..pretty please.. To that someone who is patiently waiting..i know we have plans..i have a strong feeling right now that something is not okay between us..but i am not closing my door..its not right to do so..i know how tiring our relationship lately..the no chats and all..i am beginning to understand evevrything..i hate to think about it..but i think i have to deal with it later when the tiny something is already cleared.but for now,i will just stay here and wait for you to talk to me,whenever you’re free..i understand and its okay..if you’re thinking that i am starting a fire right now please do think twice i am just letting you know that whatever may happen i will still be right here..i will never get tired of waiting..even if you will give up on me in real time i will still wait for you to come back.but please be brave enough to tell me if that time comes..i deserve to know..just dont leave me hanging..you know how painful that is..one thing that i can truly promise right now,whether i may make it or not always keep this in mind,“i love you,whatever it takes.” Regarding my health issue,dont worry.if i will never be okay you will still have a great life ahead and if im gonna be okay i lromise that we will have a life full of bliss and happiness,no cheating,no petty quarrels and of course more happy and intimate moments in bed or wherever we want to do the thing..please be good.mahal kita,ikaw lang. -als