#or with external help they are able to accept

[homunculovers]

There’s a difference between the absolutely fucking useless abysmal pain they inflict upon themselves, like self glorified martyrs, and retribution for their actions.

I’m a firm believer that whatever punishment society decides for blorbo, via due process, would be a quadrillion times more bearable to them than what they do to themselves, no matter how hard they protest.

"I need to see them suffer" I say about a character who already does nothing but suffer

[thiefcatmoth]

pac: how do people around you see you?

general reading. pick a pile, listening to your intuition. if nothing resonates, leave this pac behind.

pile 1

soft and sharp, warm and cold, changeable, but combining opposites so harmoniously. you have the ability to hide secrets inside and surprise others with little unusual bits of your personality. you have an inner stability, the ability to accept the twists of fate and use them to your advantage. people think that in feelings you give yourself to the bottom, both good and bad. some people find you too authoritarian, but you have a natural ability to make (or advise) others to do what you need or want. despite the general impression, some see your fragile spiritual core, and some may even say that you give them your light. even if you do not plan to illuminate someone's life, it happens on its own. many people do not strive to see beyond the facade that you have erected and may not realize that you can hide wisdom, knowledge, depth of words behind jokes and light-mindedness, a mask that you deliberately put up for others.

pile 2

others see you as a loyal, hardworking person, although not without a hint of something… gloomy? not hostility, but something dark or gloomy. you work even when obstacles arise, your persistence is admired by others, maybe even became an example or a source of inspiration for someone. at the same time, a special feminine energy emanates from you - cool, fresh, even a little youthful. energy that attracts, like a flower in the morning dew, but not everyone likes it. in general, you give the impression of someone who is difficult to gain trust, you don't let everyone in your inner circle, some think that you are too difficult to find the keys to. I think they just do not realize that you choose people based on your emotions and your inner circle is so important to you in order to develop, learn and work on yourself.

pile 3

some people think that you are capable of doing anything with your own hands. every little bit of what you do - art, handmade, cooking, whatever - has a special uniqueness, everything is a meaningful masterpiece. people see great wisdom in you, even when your words are not liked or seem poisonous. in addition, you know how to use all your knowledge for good. some people think that you are overprotective? the energy of excessive care, maybe even an attempt to prove that your views on everyday life and the material world are the most correct. someone may think that you were greatly influenced by your ancestors, and that is why your advice, even when you talk about something modern, can be perceived as outdated, similar to ancient wisdom. they are never devoid of meaning. few will be able to understand that helping others and caring that you do is not your favorite thing or a way to show yourself. these are just intuitive actions.

pile 4

the energy of an intelligent but closed person. clearly with a mind of your own, with clear internal and external boundaries. do you like black humor or sarcasm? or maybe there are notes of healthy cynicism in you? people sense that there is a storm of energy hidden inside you, it seems to them that your inner strength and impulses are more than enough for your desires and goals. for the sake of your goals, you can be assertive, choose smart paths and apply your efforts correctly. but others think that you are too free with your time, as if you own it. and some catch too many flirting signals. there is something in your behavior that reminds them of a socialite. to someone you may even seem frivolous in those moments when you deviate from your mask and image. someone notices that you often change your habits, style, lifestyle, and not everyone will understand that this is not a burden, not forced. you are able to adapt to any physical changes, from food and apartment to clothes, workouts and weight. it's like you are changing subtly every day. just don't pay attention if someone ignorantly considers it insignificant.

thanks for the reading!

dividers by @strangergraphics-archive, all images are not mine

[plutosunshine]

What trauma can become your power? Chiron in the houses

Chiron in the 1st house

Chiron in the first house signifies a deep inner wound related to personal identity, self-esteem, and the sense of self. This may stem from trauma experienced in early life when a person felt inadequate, rejected, or misunderstood in their unique expressions. Individuals with this placement often struggle to justify their existence, prove their worth, or meet others’ expectations to earn love and recognition.

However, this wound can become a source of incredible strength. Over time, individual learns to accept themselves as they are, with all their imperfections, vulnerabilities, and unique traits. This journey of self-discovery and acceptance not only helps heal their wound but also inspires others who face similar inner conflicts. Chiron in the first house makes a person highly sensitive to issues of individuality and self-expression, and their personal struggle with these themes becomes a powerful tool for helping others.

Chiron in the 2nd house

Chiron in the second house often indicates a wound related to self-worth, self-esteem, and material security. People with this placement may experience feelings of inadequacy, inner shame, or fear from an early age, believing they are undeserving of abundance or stability. They might have faced situations where their value was questioned by others, or they struggled to identify what makes them unique and worthy.

However, this wound carries the potential for profound transformation. As individual begins to work on recognizing their true worth, they can develop a powerful sense of inner resilience and learn to view the material world as a tool for growth rather than a source of fear. By overcoming self-doubt, they can become an inspiring example for others, demonstrating that a person’s value is not determined by external circumstances but emerges from inner confidence and self-acceptance.

Chiron in the second house has the power to transform this wound into a source of strength, helping the individual not only to build their self-esteem but also to guide others in discovering their true worth. Such a person may develop a unique gift for healing issues related to money, abundance, and self-worth, both in their own life and in the lives of those around them.

Chiron in the 3rd house

Chiron’s wound in the third house is associated with themes of communication, learning, self-expression, and interactions with the immediate environment, including siblings, neighbors, and close acquaintances. This placement may point to painful experiences related to the inability to be heard or understood, fear of saying the wrong thing, feelings of intellectual inadequacy, or traumas in relationships with relatives. A person with this placement often struggles with internal conflicts around expressing their thoughts and ideas, feeling that their voice does not matter or that their words are not taken seriously.

However, this wound can become a source of strength when the individual finds ways to overcome their inner fears and begins to see their experience as a unique gift. This transformative process often involves recognizing the value of their own voice and the power of words. Such individuals are capable of developing exceptional communication skills and becoming sources of support and inspiration for others. They may excel as teachers, writers, counselors, or lecturers, helping others overcome fears and learn self-expression. Their early pain teaches them to be attentive listeners and empathetic conversationalists, sensitive to the subtleties of communication and able to create a space for meaningful dialogue.

Chiron in the 4th house

Chiron’s wound in the fourth house is associated with matters of home, family, roots, and emotional security. This can manifest as a sense of lacking warmth, acceptance, or support during childhood, feeling alienated from one’s relatives, or an inability to find a place that feels like “home.” A person with this placement may experience an internal conflict between the desire to put down roots and the fear of being rejected or emotionally vulnerable.

However, the potential for transformation arises through working with this wound. By overcoming these inner fears and learning to create a sense of home within themselves, the individual can become a source of support for others, particularly for those who face similar challenges. They learn to transform pain into strength, developing a deep understanding of emotional needs and creating a space where others feel safe and accepted.

This wound becomes a source of strength when the individual recognizes that their ability to be empathetic, caring, and supportive has grown out of their own pain. This experience helps them build strong connections with others, grounded in genuine emotional depth and sincerity. A person with Chiron in the fourth house can become a symbol of healing energy within the context of family and emotional relationships.

Chiron in the 5th house

Chiron in the fifth house is often associated with a deep wound related to self-expression, creativity, love, and inner joy. People with this placement may feel unworthy of being in the spotlight, fear rejection for their talents, or struggle with insecurity in matters of personal fulfillment. This can manifest as a sense that their creativity is not valuable enough or as painful experiences connected to romantic relationships.

However, this wound, when worked through, can become a source of incredible strength. Those with Chiron in the fifth house have the potential to gain profound insight into how to help others embrace their uniqueness, support them in finding joy, and express their creativity. They can become mentors, inspiring others to overcome their fears and be true to themselves. This transformation not only makes them stronger but also more empathetic to the suffering of others, allowing them to use their wounds as a tool for healing, both for themselves and for those around them.

Chiron in the 6th house

Chiron’s wound in the sixth house is associated with a sense of inadequacy in daily life, service to others, and care for one’s body and health. People with this placement may experience inner conflicts stemming from feelings that they are not good enough in their work, that their efforts are undervalued, or that they are unable to care for themselves or others in the way they desire. This can manifest as chronic anxiety, difficulties establishing a healthy routine, or a tendency toward perfectionism that drains their energy.

However, this wound can become a powerful source of strength. A person with Chiron in the sixth house has the ability to transform their struggles into profound wisdom and an understanding of how to navigate daily challenges. They can become excellent mentors, healers, or specialists who help others organize their lives, overcome work-related difficulties, or improve their health. This experience teaches them to embrace imperfection in themselves and others and use it as a foundation for growth.

The core strength here lies in approaching oneself and others with compassion, recognizing the value of even the smallest efforts, and helping others find harmony in their everyday lives. Such individuals become a source of inspiration, demonstrating that wounds do not define us but can serve as a foundation for meaningful service that brings joy and purpose.

Chiron in the 7th house

Chiron’s wound in the seventh house is often associated with painful experiences in relationships and challenges related to finding a balance between oneself and a partner. This can manifest as feelings of rejection, disappointment in love, fear of intimacy, or a constant need to please others at the expense of one’s own needs.

However, like any Chiron wound, this trauma carries immense potential for healing and transformation. By recognizing their fears, failures, and behavioral patterns, individuals with this placement can develop deep empathy, wisdom, and the ability to support others through emotional and personal crises. This wound becomes a source of strength when they learn to harmonize with themselves, find a balance between independence and closeness, and build healthy relationships based on respect and mutual understanding. In doing so, they become an example for others, inspiring deeper and more conscious connections.

Chiron in the 8th house

Chiron in the eighth house often indicates deep emotional wounds related to themes of loss, transformation, intimacy, or matters of life and death. This can manifest through painful experiences such as betrayal, fear of losing control, or difficulties trusting others in close relationships. However, these very wounds can become a source of incredible strength and inner growth if the person is willing to recognize their significance and transform their experience.

Healing pain in the eighth house is possible through embracing vulnerability and exploring the power of transformation. This process can turn the fear of change into an ability not only to accept transitions but also to help others navigate through periods of crisis. People with Chiron in the eighth house can become remarkable mentors or healers, possessing a unique ability to understand others’ pain on a deep level and show them paths to healing. Their strength is born from the realization that true transformation begins with accepting the darker aspects of oneself, ultimately leading to inner freedom and empowerment.

Chiron in the 9th house

Chiron’s wound in the ninth house is associated with deep scars in the realms of higher education, philosophy, faith, the search for meaning, and travel. A person may feel an inner conflict or insecurity in their beliefs, doubt their own knowledge, or experience the pain of being unable to find their place within a worldview system. This wound often manifests as a sense of rejection of their ideas or beliefs or as a feeling of losing connection with something greater—be it cultural, spiritual, or intellectual belonging.

However, it is precisely through working with this wound that a person can gain immense strength. Chiron teaches us to heal our pain by sharing our experiences with others. The wound of the ninth house can become a source of wisdom if one recognizes that their unique journey, even if it has been full of doubt and searching, can inspire and guide others. They may become a teacher, philosopher, or guide, helping others find meaning in life and expand the boundaries of their worldview. By accepting their wound, the person becomes open to a diversity of perspectives, which makes them incredibly wise and tolerant. Thus, Chiron’s wound in the ninth house transforms into a source of strength, helping not only the individual but also those around them, building bridges between different cultures, religions, or philosophical systems.

Chiron in the 10th house

Chiron in the 10th house indicates wounds related to social status, career, achievements, and attitudes toward authority. This may manifest as a feeling of inability to achieve success or fear of responsibility. Such individuals often face criticism from society or loved ones, which can lead to self-doubt and uncertainty about their professional abilities. However, this vulnerability can become their strength if they recognize their fears and transform them into wisdom.

By overcoming the inner conflict tied to self-esteem and societal recognition, a person with Chiron in the tenth house can become a mentor to others, helping them overcome their own professional and personal barriers. This wound can provide a deep understanding of the nature of leadership, teach the balance between ambition and emotional needs, and show how to maintain resilience in challenging circumstances. Thus, Chiron in the tenth house has the potential to transform the pain into a source of inspiration and support for others.

Chiron in the 11th house

Chiron in the eleventh house indicates a wound related to themes of friendship, acceptance in groups, social ideals, and a sense of belonging to a community. A person with this placement may feel isolated or misunderstood within a collective, face betrayal by friends, or experience the sense that their uniqueness prevents them from being part of something larger. However, this wound can become a source of growth and strength. By working through their experiences, the individual learns to value their individuality and use it to build harmonious connections with others.

Chiron in this house grants the ability to mentor or inspire others, particularly those who feel “different” or out of place. The trauma associated with rejection can transform into the gift of creating communities where mutual understanding, respect, and support flourish. Thus, personal experiences of pain become the foundation for helping others find their place in the world.

Chiron in the 12th house

Chiron in the twelfth house often indicates a profound emotional wound connected to feelings of loneliness, separation from the world, or the suppression of emotions. This may stem from experiences of loss, hidden fears, or repressed traumas that a person carries within themselves, often without fully realizing it. The wound of Chiron here is tied to the subconscious, to what is hidden from the external world, and sometimes the person may feel lost, not understanding where their pain and anxiety originate.

However, this very wound can become an incredible source of strength and transformation. If a person becomes aware of their inner fears and wounds, they can learn to work with them, transforming them into compassion and wisdom. Chiron in the twelfth house offers the potential for deep healing—not only of oneself but also of others. Such a person can become a guide for those who are suffering, possessing a unique gift for delving into the hidden corners of the soul and helping others understand and embrace their shadows.

The key to turning the wound into strength is accepting one’s vulnerability and exploring the inner world through meditation, psychological work, or spiritual practices. Chiron in this house teaches that weakness can become a powerful resource for inner growth, and through serving and helping others, a person can find profound meaning and personal healing.

[sthilarions]

Hmm. Thinking about Edwin and Learned Helplessness

To rapidly summarize a complex psychological concept (and skipping over some nuance we’ve discovered recently), Learned Helplessness is basically when an animal internalizes the idea that they have no way to escape/control an unpleasant stimulus or situation, and stops trying to do so.

The classic example is with an electrified floor and two rats. The floor shocks the rats periodically. One of the rats has a way to escape or end the shock: by jumping over a barrier, pushing a lever, etc. The other does not. The rat that has a way to escape will keep trying to do so, even if it doesn’t always work. However, the rat that reliably has no way to avoid the shocks will stop trying. They’ll eventually stop looking for ways to get away and just lie down and let it happen.

And here’s the key part: the rat that gives up will stay given up even if you later present them with a clear way to escape. Once a rat has accepted that there’s no way to avoid the shocks, you can give them a lever, let them jump over a barrier, or just straight up open the cage, and they’ll just keep lying there.

Experiments have shown it’s possible to retrain animals who have acquired learned helplessness to believe they have control, but it requires active work from an external source. Something like physically lifting them out of the cage repeatedly to show them that they can leave and that leaving stops the shocks. If you leave them alone, the rats will keep just sitting there getting shocked right next to an open door forever.

So where does this rather depressing and fairly unethical concept relate to Edwin, you ask

Well - remarkably enough, Edwin doesn’t seem to have fully 100% acquired what one might call generalized learned helplessness. He keeps trying to escape, eventually succeeding after 73 years. But! There are two sources of nuance here

One: he clearly does canonically experience some form of learned helplessness, because that’s exactly what he expresses to Charles when huddled against the wall in Hell. There’s no use trying, I run and it catches me, over and over, you should leave without me because there is no point in me trying to escape. That’s learned helplessness in a nutshell.

How he was able to get past that to escape in 1989, I’m not sure, but it seems to fluctuate for him from moment to moment. (He has it badly in that scene, but the previous scene, when he first sees Charles before getting eaten, he seems to have hope).

Two, and this is less canonical and more me spinning off canon-compliant thoughts, he might have a more specific learned helplessness response going on, as opposed to just a generalized one. Because running, trying to escape, can delay the pain. But fighting? Fighting does nothing but make things worse.

We talk a lot about him freezing, but I’m imagining him, in the first while after Hell, when a threat gets too close, just… going limp. Because he’s had 73 years of continuous torture conditioning him that running may help delay being caught but once he’s caught, there’s nothing he can do. Flailing around just gets him more pain, gets a slower death instead of a quick one. Relaxing his muscles makes it hurt less when they’re torn off his bones. He’s just loosening into the fall, is all.

Charles figures this out pretty quickly. It’s hard to miss your partner just… flopping down on the ground every time he’s about to get injured.

He starts finding ways to accommodate it. First by keeping an eye out and jumping in whenever Edwin goes into Accept Death Mode, but then trying to pre-empt it. Keeping Edwin back, at the edge of the fight, so Edwin never gets close enough to the threat for his learned instincts to kick in, which over time turns into a fixed dynamic of “Charles as brawn”, and over more time Edwin picks up offensive magic so he can stay at the back but still fight.

Charles realizes at some point that Edwin won’t fight for himself but will, occasionally, fight for Charles, and starts trying to leverage that, putting himself in danger to make Edwin start fighting so Edwin will learn he can fight. Edwin puts a very harsh stop to that, once he figures out it’s happening, but it remains true, that Edwin will fight for Charles but not himself. (We see him try to throw a punch at Esther after Esther tosses Charles, in canon, but not, at any Post-Hell point that I can recall, when anyone tries to hurt him.)

Edwin stops collapsing, eventually, after a lot of work from him and Charles, starts just freezing instead, and to other people that freezing would be Bad but it’s a step up, for Edwin. Eventually he starts even being able to still move a bit, and talk - like when he puts a hand over Crystal’s mouth and mutters an explanation to her before freezing, with the Misery Wraith, and… and when he just stands there and keeps talking when the Cat King rocks up to him and puts him in a binding spell. He still doesn’t try to stop the threat, doesn’t fight or even run, once it’s already close, but he doesn’t become completely incapacitated, either.

And that’s about where he’s at, by 2024. Charles is still trying to work on him, but they’re still at a point where Edwin physically can not defend himself from a nearby threat: hence the failed boxing lesson. Charles wants him to be able to physically fight, and he may even want that himself, but he can’t, can only throw a punch to protect Charles. He can’t even properly swing at Charles with boxing gloves, because either Charles isn’t a threat, in which case Edwin doesn’t want to attack him, or he is, in which case Edwin can’t attack him. (There’s no in-between space in his head for “putting force behind a hit without either of you being in danger”.)

Anyway. Yeah. That’s my thought, I guess, is the boys developing their role-division because of Edwin’s learned helplessness, and Charles working with him to both accommodate it and try to decondition it over time, but only able to get so far, even after 35 years, because it was conditioned into him over more than twice that time and a lot more forcefully than Charles can do.

But it’s progress.

[jubileebloom]

As much as I appreciate the people defending Ford in the wake of TBOB's release, and discussing the importance of avoiding victim-blaming and being aware of a person's environment, there's something specific that rubs me the wrong way about some of the things I've read.

The thing about abuse is that takes agency away from its victims. This is actually something that broadly applies to different forms of trauma, as I've just been going over in one of my classes on Adolescent Development. My professor for that class specializes in trauma-informing and training, so she has an entire unit on trauma as part of the syllabus, and one of the things she emphasized was that giving people agency and control over their own choices is critical to helping them recover from a traumatic event.

When it comes to Bill's possession of Ford, the lack of control is even more literal. Ford literally has his body puppeted by a demon, and his mind altered as well. Others have taken agency from him to a lesser extent—Stan limiting his choices in education, Fiddleford potentially using the memory gun on him, as another analysis post I can't find did a really good job of breaking down—but it's not as all-encompassing as Bill's abuse, and Stan and Fidds both make better choices later in the series. Bill refuses to.

But I'm getting off topic. My point is, Ford's loss of agency is one of the most crucial pieces of his character arc. It's why he lashes out so strongly when he returns home, against his will, to find that his identity has been stolen. It probably factors into his need to be the "hero", to be the one to defeat Bill. And even though he ultimately isn't that "hero", and he does let the Mystery Shack continue to operate, he does ultimately get more of a choice in the matter. He chooses to go along with the plan. He chooses to go with Stan on their long-overdue adventure.

But there's something else he does too. He apologizes.

Why is that so important? Because in regaining his sense of agency, he also undertakes the accountability that goes with it. He isn't solely to blame for everything that happened to him, or even necessarily every choice he made, but he did make bad choices.

And that's the thing that bothers me about some Ford analyses and defenses. Some people go too far and say that Ford isn't to blame for anything that he's done. Not only is that untrue, but it is once again stripping him of his agency. He is an adult capable of making his own decisions, and ergo capable of making bad decisions. And we need to accept that, without infantilizing him or blaming everyone else around him.

One of the things that compels me so much about Gravity Falls is that is generally does strike this balance pretty well, of personal agency vs. external circumstances. (There's also an excellent analysis post out there somewhere about Dipper and Mabel's agency, how the show doesn't force them to fix the problems of their predecessors or burden them exclusively with saving the world, but does still let them have agency and power in the fight and in Stan's recovery.) There are so, so many things that happen to the main cast that are mostly outside of their control, and also bad decisions that a lot of them have made that cannot be excused, at least not fully, by their circumstances.

And the beautiful thing about that agency is that these characters are also able to use it to become better people, to regain control over their lives, to take back power after it was taken from them. But you have to let them, and that includes letting them be people who messed up, owned up, and worked to make it better.

In fact, I think the reason that Ford is so quick to own up to his mistakes when it comes to Bill is because that's one of the ways he's taking back his power. He's incredibly stubborn when it comes to holding other grudges, but with Bill, he readily admits to Stan and Dipper separately that he's made some "terrible mistakes", to use his words. And he isn't to blame for falling for Bill's manipulation—Bill was the one actively manipulating—but no, he should not have summoned him to begin with. That doesn't make him deserving of anything Bill did to him, but by admitting to the mistakes he did make and working on a way to defeat Bill, it's letting him take back some amount of control in the whole situation. He can't make Bill change his ways, but he can own up to and correct the things he did wrong.

He does overcorrect a bit; I do think he blames himself too much for "falling for Bill's flattery." But generally, I like how he also doesn't try to blame Bill for every single thing that went wrong with the whole portal deal, like he (initially) did with some other situations, especially everything with Stan.

Anway. Let Ford make mistakes. Let him be wrong sometimes. Let him have his agency.

[transmutationisms]

what DOES an ideal framework for processing, healing from, identifying etc trauma look like in an ideal future to u? ive never sought therapy for mine bc idk what talking about it with a stranger would do for me but im sure as shit not healing from it properly rn. it feels hard to think about what WOULD help me

sorry probably unhelpful but i don't really agree with the entire trauma framework at this point; i don't find it useful or clear & i don't think of shitty / painful / traumatising parts of my life as separate from the 'rest' of me, any more than i would for enjoyable or positive events. & i don't know wtf people mean when they talk about 'healing' or 'processing' or whatever else; these seem to me like very imprecise and wilfully obtuse ways of referring to the thing anybody actually cares about, which is how well a person is able to meet commonly accepted standards of functionality. i think what would help people is if they weren't being held to those external standards of proper functioning lol; i don't really see this as a problem that will ever be solved by application of a universal psychological method because it's a social problem of mismatch between what we demand of people & what we offer them. there are, hypothetically, lots of different ways to address situations where you're incapable of performing whatever functions you do actually need in your own life apart from questions of economic productivity (yknow, things like personal hygiene, forming interpersonal connections, eating enough, &c &c) and i don't think this is a matter of some global personality-level 'healing process,' i think it basically comes down to emotional triage & whether you have the material resources to accommodate your needs. i think this focus on 'recovering' and the promise there is some great happiness waiting for you on the other side is essentially a smokescreen that reframes your having problems as a personal therapeutic failure because it's the only way the ruling medical ontology can cope with the fact it simply does not exist to 'help people' in this particular way & it is structurally economically incapable of doing so.

[movingthisblogcelestialtarot11]

PAC—Shadow work and self discovery 🦢

Hey friends! Been a minute since I last posted anything related to a PAC. Here’s another post, dedicated to helping you understand yourself deeper :) enjoy! Feel free to like, comment and reblog it always helps this blog grow <3 thank you all to everyone who has been here.

 

ꪆৎ Pile 1: What part of yourselves do you refuse to acknowledge, but needs your attention?

9 of cups: I feel as though you guys have been aching to get some alone time to really think, and not just think about your plans and goals, but to access your inner fire again. You may have been surrounded by a lot of distractions, work responsibilities, last minute obligations is what I hear. And spirit doesn’t blame you for being unable to tend to yourself, it all happens, we’re souls having a human experience is what I heard. Im picking up on possible resentment, frustration, burnout, anxiety from your end. This feeling of: when will it get easier? I believe soon there will be an event in which a task, or a few gets taken off your shoulders. So you could have some external help, whether its from someone or spirit helping to alleviate the energies around you. I heard “work around,” so, there will be changes in which you’ll be taking less of a workload and you’ll get to relax. Putting work or responsibilities on the back burner.

As for what needs your attention, it’s this passionate, moving, and inspiring part of you that wants to make a return. You may find yourself feeling at odds though, like you’re stuck in burn out or a place of transition. You’re not lost, you’re meant to be here to come back to yourself. You’re doing what you can, surviving. Meditation can help you come back to yourself strongly and reconnect you to your roots, so maybe your ancestors if you work with them. I feel like you have strong support from their end—they’re mostly women, older, and wanting to govern you their motherly support. Im hearing south America, Morocco, India, Persian roots, Afghanistan, I know it’s vague, but maybe this will mean something for someone here. For those who don’t work with ancestors, id imagine this can be your spirit guides too! There is this motherly energy wanting to surround you, I think its a matter of accepting it and letting it enter you. They want to be here, im being told. They want to, not out of obligation. But because they wish to be.

I see water. A lot of water. And im being told that some things need to be still, boundless, undefined. Like water has no shape or definition until given one. This is where you need to be right now, no judgement or limitations placed on yourself. Its more hurtful in the long run to blame yourself.

 ꪆৎ What hidden talent do you underestimate?

Connection. Not just with anyone, but I’m seeing a mirror. Its this vision where you’re holding a candle as a tribute to your past selves, and you’re face to face with all you ever were. I feel as though you have a deep connection with your past (sometimes feeling like you’re too entangled with it) but there’s this wisdom, deep inner knowing that you know who you are and who you could be. You’re able to meet yourself so deeply in ways society has shunned. This is your power and source of fuel. I also feel like your connection with spirit is only going to thrive the more you pursue yourself, they are apart of you.

 ꪆৎ An unconscious fear driving you:

Obligation. Or a feeling of obligation. This could stem from people pleasing patterns, needing to prove how good you are at work or a skill, or a social aspect of your life. Who you are, your presence to others. This could be why you picked up others slack, I’m hearing, or work. Having to constantly be “pushy,” on others or moderate other people who aren’t responsible. Or you could be in a highly competitive environment that doesn’t feel good, its generating more scarcity than inspiration. It’s also 12:12 as I write this, so a sign from spirit. I do believe its a sign from spirit to let go of these responsibilities that were never yours to begin with. Let spirit figure other people out the way the system works. The spiritual system lol. Give into spirit and let go of control. Thank you so much pile 1 for being here <3 I hope this resonated with you!

 ꪆৎ Pile 2: What part of yourselves do you refuse to acknowledge, but needs your attention?

The Fool: So for you guys I see you’re wanting to break free. Let go of some traditional values, upholding whether its family related or tied to your sexuality is what I’m hearing. Someone could have been researching puritanism and how thats been affecting societies view of women specifically, and how thats still a role today. Super specific lol but someone here definitely is working on themselves. I feel like someone here wants to let go of the ideals of a woman should be. Maybe someone wants to be alternative goth, or take inspiration from that and change. They want to embrace this, “macabre,” and moody side, so you guys might have an eye for the aesthetics and such. But its also deeper than that. Its family tradition and values, expectations, roles, constantly enforced onto you that you’re ready to break out of. Yet you feel like its holding you tightly. I think you already know you’re ready for this change. You want to try something new. It doesn’t even have to be goth related, it could be a new hobby/class, putting yourself out there socially. It could help changing your name, simple as that. It could be embracing a cultural change, a cultural identity. Maybe you found out you have a different culture identity, lineage, etc. Maybe you’re more reserved and quiet, and putting yourself out there is strange and unfamiliar. Remember, it isn’t dangerous, just unfamiliar is what spirit is saying. New and unfamiliar things doesn’t always have to be bad. I see a lot of “catastrophic” thinking or doom thinking. Intrusive thoughts about the future, and past feelings of guilt and anger coming up. Its very deep. Acknowledge this change, see what inspires you now. Maybe its better to ask yourself this: what do I feel inspired to do now in my life? Instead of: what do I want to do for the rest of my life?

 ꪆৎ What hidden talent do you underestimate?

Peace. Your ability to create this “homely,” feeling wherever you go. Even in yourself. Your ability to make friends. You’re actually better at it than you thought, its just your mind that has a way of overruling your heart. Work on your heart space and allowing it to express itself without needing to make sense (at least in logical terms) its more so about, letting your heart sing is what they call it lol. Sometimes, its okay to not fully understand everything. Including yourself. You’re beautiful like a masterpiece of art, still whole, and yet building yourself. Building yourself doesn’t mean you weren’t worthy to begin with. Im sensing this warm energy especially from your chest, and its emanating. You’re probably great at jokes, emotional depth and such, I think you criticize yourself to the point where its detrimental. Im hearing from spirit it’ll only stunt your growth on this path, so please practice mindfulness and acceptance <3 I think you also underestimate your ability to shift timelines. To evolve, change your energy, and create a completely new “world,” around you. Not gonna lie your guys energy is really cool, its giving spell caster in some kind of way 😭 but honestly? Ethereal. Witchy. I love it. Use it to your benefit. The world is filled with manipulation already, not in the way you think, but I mean this: every step, every decision we make is already influencing the future outcome. Nothing is set yet. So, some of you may have been dealing with guilt, feeling like you’re cheating for using manifestation to move forward. It isn’t, not when you’re connecting so deeply with yourself to heal. Give yourself permission to dream and create.

 ꪆৎ What unconscious fear is driving you?

Not knowing where to go. Trying to see the way completely, ensuring safety and comfortability. I hear you, its a human thing to want predictability. What if its holding you back? What if instead of helping you feel inspired for your next move, its keeping you confined in the same box you’ve been in for so long? I also heard fear of not being accepted if you do change. Either by your friends or family. This change seems drastic, but spirit says this, if they truly mean they love you, they’ll embrace you through all the seasons anyway. The moon has phases. She disappears from the sky. Sometimes we need to focus on ourselves and give ourself that time of day to heal. We need to allow ourselves to change and others to bear witness, not because its about approval, but so we can share our deepest experience. Gather support & trust. No one is perfect, you may have a perfectionism mindset. It’s a distorted lie lol, the way adults tell you to grow up and you’ll feel older, completely leaving out your inner child. It isn’t always the case. We are all the ages we ever have been. Make time and space for your inner child. You also might be a virgo, have strong mercurial placement, Capricorn/aquarius/scorpio/ saturn, in your chart. Thank you so much for being here <3

 ꪆৎ Pile 3: What part of yourselves do you refuse to acknowledge, but needs your attention?

Judgement: For you guys, I see you know things are about to go down. Either this is a cognitive distortion, anxiety, and “doom” thinking. Its like you know there’s an inner change to be had, and it scares you deeply to think of it. Which is valid—change is scary. Its unpredictable. I also feel this could be a physical change, maybe you’re moving to a new place, home, changing schools is what I heard, and its like you’re being thrown completely out of left field. Maybe you got fired, or something feels like you’re being blocked internally. You may have this habit where you see the events happening around you, and compensate for it by blaming yourself, even though these events are out of your control. I think truly, apart from all the changes externally, you want this. You need this change. You need to expand, grow, and leave this box. I feel like for some of you theres this job or hobby or something you’ve been wanting to end, and now it is. Its coming to a head. And you’re trying to look to see whats next for inspiration! Keep it up. Channel your ideas, maybe writing them can help or answering journal prompts can get you thinking deeply. Or talking to someone about what you truly see for yourself will give you answers. A friend could have great advice for you. I also feel like you know its time to get out this “club madness” is what I heard, drama filled environment, and into a tranquil one. Its time for you to switch gears. Get out of survival mode and into living mode.

 ꪆৎ What hidden talent do you underestimate?

Your emotional capacity for growth. This new and improved mindset, not perfectionism, but this idea that, “i can make mistakes and learn from it, this is teaching me something.” I also feel like you guys are animal lovers of some kind? Not only that, but sweet, caring, empathetic and loving. Maybe people mistook your kindness for weakness, you know? I feel its time to transition to your ability to set boundaries. I think you underestimate your wants and needs, and think “im cool, i dont really have much to say,” but you do. You do want to move things forward, you want change. You want realness, stability, and value commitment. So what are your values? Relationship wise, healing, etc. I also feel you guys are proactive people, when it comes to others. Others needs, wants, but what about yours? People see you as generous and kind, but perhaps you don’t see yourself as such. Work on self image & self esteem, it’ll help a lot. Also your root chakra, feeling grounded in your body is another important aspect. I think you might underestimate the way your body holds trauma too—it remembers. Your hips especially can get tight, jaw, etc. doing some stretching can help a lot, and mindful stretching! Opening your hips can release emotions too. This can feel intense. You guys have an airy floaty energy, and its cool. Its like you’re kind of there, but not really lol. But ground yourself for sure.

 ꪆৎ What unconscious fear is driving you?

Feeling afraid to say the truth. To speak up, to face your inner demons. Your fear of going inward is taking the front seat right now, and causing you to struggle to face situations head on. You feel confused, unsure, and flighty. Your feelings are valid, and I think spirit is saying dancing around topics can only work for so long in the short term. It comes to a point where you want more. You expect more. You expect better from yourself mostly. So what behavior is contributing to these feelings? It could be, stopping yourself from putting down a boundary, saying no, quitting that job instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop, etc. i also think being surrounded by people who are irresponsible, immature and selfish don’t help as well. Its a leechy kind of energy and it doesn’t feel good. Its promoting an unhealthy environment, so do what feels right to you. Spirit is saying to cut those people off, if it is reaching that point. These people could be “party” friends and when it comes to emotional stuff, they’re just NPCs basically. Lol. You value emotional truth and connection, so, speak up to the universe about what you desire and take yourself out of those relationships that dont serve you. Thank you pile 3 for being here <3 i sincerely hope this helped ya out!

Thank you guys for being here! Pls dont be afraid to like comment and reblog <3 love you all!

Extra

Paid readings 🤍

[ghostlyferrettarot]

🐰Pick a Picture:𖦹 ׂ 𓈒🐇 ೀFacts you need to know about your spiritual family𖦹 ׂ 𓈒🐇 ೀ

☆Dolls and Pics by: esoteric.dolls on ig

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) (Open)!

🫧Join my Patreon for exclusive content!🫧

🪻If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!🪻

🩶Masterlist🩶

🐭Pile 1:

🍡They are always aware of your emotions, even when you don't express them. They know when you are feeling sad, insecure, or exhausted, and they send you signs of support without you having to ask for it.

🍡When things get tough, your spirit family infuses you with a quiet strength. They don't push you, but they hold you up, like an invisible pillar that helps you stay on your feet.

🍡They feel so calm and relaxed, but they have a quiet strength that is felt in times of despair or exhaustion. It's as if they are telling you, “You've got this, you've always had this inside you.”

🍡Many of them feel a strong connection to natural elements, such as air, water, or earth. Sometimes they send you signs through nature, such as a flower that appears unexpectedly or a bird singing.

🍡In times when you need direction, they send you subtle signs, like intuitions or small flashes of clarity, to guide you toward your true path. Rabbits can be important <3 if you see these or love this animals its probably a sign of them. Extended reading on Patreon: Channeled Letter from your spiritual family⋆.˚🦋༘⋆

🐹Pile 2:

🎂 They are like invisible guardians, always watching from the background, watching your steps without interfering. Sometimes this can manifest as a feeling of being “watched over” without you being able to pinpoint where it is coming from.

🎂 While they don’t always give you direct answers, their way of guiding you is through little synchronicities and signs. Sometimes it’s a repeating number, a song you hear, or a dream that leaves you with a sense of peace. I see them manifesting a lot in dreams, you may be someone who has lived dreams.

🎂They always make you feel like you’re at home, even if you’re in a place that feels strange or unfamiliar to you. They have the ability to make you feel loved and safe no matter the external circumstances.

🎂 They are incredibly proud of your accomplishments, both big and small. Every step you take towards your purpose is a reason for celebration for them <3, they are honestly so sweet :") also, Short and Sweet from Sabrina Carpenter may be something important.

🎂 When you are sad or lonely, it is common to feel a loving presence close to you, like an invisible hug. That is their way of being there without invading your space, but giving you comfort. Extended reading on Patreon: Channeled Letter from your spiritual family⋆.˚🦋༘⋆

🐙Pile 3:

🥫 They see the beauty in your vulnerability, and instead of expecting you to be perfect, they encourage you to be yourself and embrace your imperfections, they want you to not be so hard on yourself.

🥫 No matter what you do or how you feel, their love for you never changes. They always accept you as you are, with all your ups and downs.

🥫 They manifest a lot in your creative enrgy, for example when you get a random idea or when you are doing your hobby, those are the moments in which you will feel their presence closer.

🥫 They prefer harmony. When they realize that you are surrounded by negative energy or conflicts, they try to calm the situation or give you space so you can find your inner peace.

🥫 They bring a sense of calm to your life, especially when things are out of control. Although they don't intervene directly, you can feel the stillness they leave in the air when you're surrounded by their energy. Extended reading on Patreon: Channeled Letter from your spiritual family⋆.˚🦋༘⋆

𖦹 ׂ 𓈒🐇 ೀThanks for reading and tell me if it resonated𖦹 ׂ 𓈒🐇 ೀ

[kibblbread]

AK!Jason doesn’t really like anything.. but he really likes spending time with you.

There isn’t much joy in his life, and when he does experience it, it’s pretty hard to tell. Very hard in fact. When Jason is his absolute happiest it’s truly rare that he’s fully conscious or not coming down from a state of extreme distress and panic.

More recent anecdotes of him happily existing involve him waking up or falling asleep alongside you, preventing a loved one from being fatally hurt, or brutalizing soneone that hurts you. Pretty scary, but these aren’t things he wants to acknowledge in the slightest or ever make known to you. External validation is necessary for him to truly feel good at this point in his life, which is something you’re privy to— just not the extent obviously.

When JT is hardly awake or really beginning to fall into what’ll be a comfortable dreamless sleep, he feels safe and secure enough to relax properly. He’s being held, allowed to be perceivably weak in a way that he deems acceptable. He can bury himself deep into the warmth and softness of your body to be protected from the nipping cold of Gotham.

It’s such a special time for him, a sacred moment that he cherishes.

You are his one precious piece of bliss.

Jason doesn’t acknowledge your gentle scalp rubs and lip balm coated kisses outside of a slight tightening of his grasp on your t-shirt. Greedily and lazily claiming his lover and her kind gestures of affection.

This is the most common and most easily detectable example of happiness from Jason. It’s somewhat complex without any explanation but still worth noting to an observant s/o of JT. I think that Jason himself though wouldn’t identify this experience (or lack of) is actually happening beyond him being happy to snuggle every once in a while. Being able to be excited to be touched instead of anxious or irrationally annoyed, it doesn’t occur to himself how often he’s in a nasty mood.

Preventing a loved one from being hurt only gives a small sense of joy that’s usually overshadowed by guilt and anger. The fact that the situation happened in the first place is somehow his own fault in the mind of Jason. But there are times where you’re able to thank him immediately after the fact, those are the times he can feel ego. That pat on the back is always a major surprise to him! Any gratitude he receives in moments so stressful boost his confidence a lot. When you do that he doesn’t have to much time to think about every specific way he fucked up, instead he’s concentrated on rationalizing why you’re complimenting something that in his head could’ve been somehow avoided.

You give him a quick hug and smile up at his faceless red helmet, telling him things could’ve ended terribly if he hadn’t been there. There is a small ping of joy radiate from within his chest. The positive reinforcement of your small affirming touches and verbal encouragement give pause to the harsh self criticisms. While the ultimate core emotions attached to this moment would be some initial surprise and frustration, there will always be a lingering feeling of pride that he got to be your hero.

As for getting a lick-back for your sake, lol, he’s pretty fucked up about it. Whether it be a lowly henchman/gang member or a notorious villain, he doesn’t know when to let up— or if he wants to. Deep down Jason derives a sick sense of joy from maiming people. It’s not his fault, but it’s his responsibility to face this dark and crooked part of himself. He knows it spooks you, it spooks all his loved ones, but he can’t help it can he? He can’t help being the twisted mangled thing Joker forced him to become.

Jason just wants you to feel safe.

He almost never feels safe so this is a favor from him to you of course..

For you to feel safe around a psycho like him.

[fjordfolk]

Utilization: By his anatomical peculiarities this dog is predestinated to puffin-hunting on the steep rocks around the fjords and along the shore.

The standard:

Neck: Clean-cut, of medium length, quite strong with a relatively well furnished collar.

Compendium comment:

The head is carried relatively low. The two last vertebrae (atlas/apsis) are shaped so that the dog can bend backwards so that the head touches the back. To do so is vital when turning in the narrow burrows. NB! This should NEVER be demonstrated the ring!

The standard:

Ears: Triangular ears of medium size, broad at the base, carried erect and very mobile. The cartilage of the ear lobe has the faculty of being able to retract itself so that the ear folds itself and flops in a specific manner, either backwards or in right angle upwards, so as to close the auditory passage.

Compendium addition:

The ears of the Lundehund have a unique muscle that enables them to fold and close the ears when entering the burrows, thus protecting them against dirt and moisture. The turning and folding of the ears probably also is help in locating the birds.

The standard:

Forelimbs: Moderately angulated. Forearm: Straight.

Forefeet: Oval shaped, turning slightly outwards, with at least six toes of which five must rest on the ground. Eight pads on each foot. The two inner toes, formed respectively by 3 and 2 phalanges and endowed with a ligamentary and muscular system, make the foot look solid.

Compendium addition:

Very flexible and elastic shoulder muscles. The Lundehund has joints that allow the forelimbs to extend at nearly 90 degrees from the body, but this must NEVER be demonstrated in the ring! The forefeet turn slightly outwards to give room for the extra toes.

The Norwegian Lundehund is a polydactyl. Instead of the normal 4 digits, the Lundehund normally has 6 digits, all fully formed, jointed and muscled, with tendons going up the inside of the leg, partly responsible for its wide front gait. Some specimen may have more, others less than 6 digits per foot, but less than 6 on front feet should lead to downgrading. The extra toes help the dog climbing up and down crevices in screes and cliffs.

The standard:

Hindfeet : Oval shaped, turned slightly outwards, with at least six toes - four of which must rest on the ground. Seven pads on each foot, the one in the middle, the most important one by its size, being attached to the inner pads corresponding to the two inner toes. When the dog is standing up on a flat surface, the weight of the body must be evenly distributed on the pads.

Compendium comment:

More than 6 digits is not a fault. 5 digits are acceptable on the hind feet. The extra toes on the hind feet are normally less developed than those on the forelegs and variations from the ideal, both regarding number and placement, should not be penalized.

The standard:

Gait/Movement: Light and elastic. An external rotary action of the forelegs and somewhat close action behind is characteristic of the breed.

Compendium comment:

In judging the movements of the Lundehund, one must consider that this dog is built to climb efficiently up and down steep cliffs and screes. The extra pads on both fore- and hind paws must then touch the surface to aid the dog in climbing. The extra toes help getting a grip, both in ascent and descent. The wide front with extra flexibility enables climbing safely up and down crevices, as the forelegs can grip at a 90 degrees angle to the body. On flat surfaces, the Lundehund will show typical rotating front movements, due to tendons and muscles from the extra digits on the inside of the legs. Hind movements are narrow.

[whetstonefires]

My personal take on how we're supposed to understand the role of Wei Wuxian's alternate cultivation method in fucking him up so bad is that:

It's deliberately ambiguous; he never actually does anything that's so utterly out of character it has to be attributed to Evil Energies. And at each stage of deterioration, he always has exciting new traumas precipitating the decline. I think we're set up to expect him to have been more explicitly Corrupted By Dark Magics than he ever turns out to have been, because that's a very standard trope that's being played with. But like, he went into Tunnel Vision Murder Mode just fine on his own, during his effort to get Jiang Cheng back right after the massacre; Wen Ning really struggled to talk him down enough to accept help, and he remained a paranoid mess all the way to Yiling. That's all trauma, no dark magic yet! Equally, a lot of stuff from the Burial Mounds on could be driven in part by direct contact with ghosts and ghouls being bad for his mental health on a spiritual pollution basis. But a lot of it is very definitely PTSD, and the isolating effects of having to keep his disability secret, especially from the person he should be most able to lean on, but can't.

A big part of why it wasn't fucking him up worse was that he'd lost his core. You know how Nie Mingjue died? How the Nie sect leaders usually die? Qi deviation, due to corruption from the resentful spirits of dead animals. Well, actually due to Jin Guangyao, but it followed the expected pattern, and resulted in him losing his mind to the point of killing anyone he could reach. This is a cultivator-specific problem, something that arises from having a cultivation base that gets warped out of true. And the stronger they are, the worse it gets; the more inevitable and extreme the dissolution. The details of the Nie problem are secret, but its underlying principles are common knowledge. Wei Wuxian was uniquely positioned as a talented, experienced cultivator who no longer had a cultivation base to fuck up. Being able to push the corpse path as far as he did without going into a fatal qi deviation or otherwise blowing himself up was due to this special circumstance--normally, anyone with the expertise to operate at that level has built up their cultivation to a high enough level to be vulnerable to corruption, and anyone without a cultivation base to send into deviation has no way to have developed the necessary skills with manipulating energy and so forth. (And probably doesn't have a sufficient background education either, and if they do have the education and yet no cultivation to speak of, they probably lack talent.) Even apart from his unique genius, no one else could have done it. He should have gone crazy and died, years earlier. A cultivator would have. Which was a big part of the reason he didn't really engage on the subject at all, and just focused on deflection and stonewalling everyone, rather than trying to make a case for himself. And why he wasn't taking outside opinions about the risk seriously, because they didn't know what they were talking about, and he couldn't afford for them to think too hard about why they were wrong.

So when he ultimately had the massive murder breakdown, everyone understood it as a purely personal thing that was happening inside of him due to his personal choice to live a self-destructive lifestyle, validating the righteousness of everyone who didn't make that choice. Rather than the result of largely-systemic external forces acting on him and his loved ones to the point that he broke. And society didn't have to assume any responsibility whatsoever.

[ghoul-butch]

i feel like a lot of people aren't ready to have a disabled partner. not even if you really really really like us, or if you think we're hot, or even if you're disabled yourself.

some of us are never going to improve, and a lot of us will get worse. you have to accept that before getting into a relationship with us because if you don't it's so easy to put us in the position of performing normalcy to not make you sad to be around us.

some of us may need you to help with the things we either have difficulty doing without injury, or cannot do at all. some of us won't remember things, or get confused easily, or have trouble hearing you. unfortunately we can't just get over our disabilities when you're having a hard day, or you're mad at us. and it would be nice if we lived in a world where all disabled people who need carers could have them to make dating (and more importantly, life) easier but very few of us have the ability to get that care.

we're also our own people, and we deserve to have boundaries, desires, and needs. a lot of able bodied people do not see us as fully realized humans with our own internal and external worlds, and you carry that into your relationships with us. this results in either you ignoring our wants out of life because we should be overjoyed we have a life with you at all, or ignoring our boundaries because we really don't know ourselves as well as someone with an outside perspective does.

and to follow the obvious segway; sex. sex can be incredibly complicated when you're disabled. either it being difficult to physically manuever without help. it can be incredibly painful if done incorrectly, or for some incredibly painful no matter what. and for a lot of us, we've faced sexual assault because our assaulters know it's hard for us to fight back, or hard for us to be believed after it happens. some of us can't have sex at all, or don't want to.

also a lot of us cost more money to survive than you do. from specific diets, to medical appointments over and over and over again, to expensive medication and replacable disability devices. hell, a good chunk of us cannot have jobs! or in a lot of places jobs will hire us and pay us a lower minimum wage because society sees us as worth less than you. and we're often under enough stress keeping out heads above water without you also expecting us to be as financially able to do things as you are. and plenty of us are kept trapped in relationships we can't leave because of our limited funds.

please, before you date us actually do even the smallest amount of studying about disability rights, disabled people's lives, and bodily autonomy in general. think of the intersections we exist at as well, disabled people can be black, gay, trans, poor, and any other marginalized group you can think of.

i can recall so many stories of disabled people abused mentally, physically, sexually and financially by people who don't think they're even doing that to us. people who really really really love us, or think we're hot, or are also disabled themselves.

for so many of us our relationships feel like ticking time bombs. we deserve better.

please be better to us.

[madisoenc]

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧?

yes, ask yourself that: "what am I waiting for?" and navigate in that, no one is going to manifest for you, no "universe" is going to give your desires to you, there is no external force, it's all YOU!!!

you have to be brave and once and for all accept your power, if you never go all in, you will never be able to live the life of your dreams.

be fr, you know the law is real, there are millions of people out there sharing success stories and being successful just by applying what you already know.

do you think all of us are lying?? nooo!!! if you're a person who need proof (i understand you i was there too) look at Ariana Grande, she talks about manifestation and look where she is, look at Taylor Tookes too, Michael Jackson... out there are people who are a living proof that the law is real!!!

i understand you, at first is a hard pillow to swallow that you create everything of your reality just by accepting it as true, but is a fact, is a LAW, it cannot fail you!!! be comfy on that.

i dare you to see how powerful you are!! as Taylor Tookes always says, manifest some random things, for example: seeing a colour car that you never see, a pink frog, hearing a specific song on the radio...

manifesting these things helps you to realise that is all YOU, everything comes within you. All you have to do is assume you view it everywhere, because you do!!!

you DO NOT even have to affirm 500000 times, you don't have to script, you don't have to listen to subliminals... but don't get me wrong!! if you're a person who feels better doing methods, is totally fine, but you have to understand that the methods are not what manifests, it is just you, ALWAYS.

when you start to fixate on your reality, you start to see that you create even the "little" things.

madi <3

[mythalism]

i think what people need to understand is that no amount of essays assuring me of veilguard's strengths, of which i agree there are plenty, is going to change the fact that the emotional experience veilguard prompted within me (and for many others) while i played it was a deeply negative one. discomfort at best, painful at worst. im talking stomach aches. visceral, somatic creeping disappointment and dread that i tried to fight for hours and hours but eventually had no choice but to accept. i stopped wanting to play entirely around 30 hours. i felt vaguely ill. i felt anxious. i could not sleep for a few days. and im not saying i felt sick because it was so bad, but that i felt sick because of the sinking realization that i was about to be terribly, horribly disappointed after so, so long. you could call me dramatic and im sure someone will. idk what to tell you. my emotions manifest physically long before they become decipherable or understandable to me mentally, especially when they're 10 years in the making. probably an autism symptom. regardless, it was genuinely pretty awful, especially because i had immense good faith for this game. i was so hopeful and optimistic and generally thrilled and literally anyone who followed me before october 31 would know that. the emotional whiplash and crash was intense and devastating, and i was reeling for days. you cannot tell me that this experience was "wrong" or "toxic" due to it's negative nature. it was entirely involuntary and outside of my control, as i would expect many people's joy was. emotional reactions are not beholden to fandom discourse.

any post i have made criticizing the game since is attempt to make sense of the emotional roller-coaster of the past 10 years, this summer, and finally this game's release. i do not come on here and write out my criticisms of veilguard because i want YOU to dislike it too. the nature of my essays are not persuasive. if they do persuade you its just because i am a well-trained essayist. sorry. if they dont, great! that wasnt the point. i have no desire to change anyone's mind on the game, in fact i actually would not wish the disappointment i felt on anyone. the fact that i have a lot of followers who agree with what i say and who spread the thoughts i express across tumblr is literally out of my control. when i write out my long-winded criticisms, it is out of a need to express and externalize that sinking, cold feeling i had while playing, in pursuit of understanding exactly why playing that game felt that way to me. identifying, analyzing and verbalizing is the only way i have been able to process my experience. its confessional and therapeutic more than anything. it helps other people understand their own difficult emotional process with the game. its not an attempt to ruin your fun. my negative experience with veilguard does not invalidate anyone else's positive one.

i see so many posts acting like all criticism is an intentional, targeted hate campaign and i dont understand that assumption. to what ends? what would that achieve? why would i bother with such a thing? maybe that is some people's intention in the deep hater corners of this website, and im blissfully unaware. if it is, fuck them. its certainly the intention of annoying grifters, but i feel the distinction between transphobe grifters and devastated fans is pretty clear, so im not sure why the lines are deliberately blurred as if those groups are remotely similar. some of my criticisms come from a more objective place. the writing comes to mind, and it's a consistent criticism from thousands of players. but just because i consider it to be poorly executed, does not make it unlovable. and when i say that i think its poorly done, i am not saying that you cannot or should not love it, or that you are stupid for loving it. maybe someone out there is saying that!!! but i am not. things do not have to be perfect to be enjoyable. they dont even have to be well executed to be enjoyable. "i think x aspect of veilguard is poorly done for yz reasons" is a completely different sentence than "you should not like x aspect of veilguard for yz reasons". these are not the same statements. i see so many posts that are so vitriolic and acting like two experiences of this game cannot coexist, that one has to win and be objectively right, moralizing them on a false axis of positivity = good and negativity = bad, and acting like the existence of one negates the experience of the other. and why? why would that be true? i literally love so many things that other people think are absolute ass. i also love plenty of things that i myself think are actual ass. i love them anyway. this is allowed and really fun. i am not sure who told you that it is not.

however, i have just as much of a right to express my disappointment as you have to express your excitement. i am genuinely happy for everyone who loves the game, i am glad it resonated, or that you saw yourself in its characters, or that it just scratched your hyperfixation itch. but whatever je ne se quoi it had for you, it did not have for me. i have written out so much criticism about so many aspects of the game, but fundamentally what it comes down to and what i cannot express in words is that while i played after waiting 10 years for that moment, it felt wrong. it wasn't that i had specific expectations for game story that were not met, in fact, it exceeded my expectations in a lot of ways. i mean that in terms of how i felt, something was off. it did not resonate. it did not land. it did not hit the right cord with me. i did not have enough moments of joy to outweigh the feeling of emptiness. i did not walk away from it feeling the way that the previous games made me feel. and ive been trying to figure out exactly why that is for three months now by talking about it with people who feel similarly. i am not sure that i will ever be able to analyze my way into figuring it out. it might just have to simply be that it left me bereft.

and so my posts are not anti-veilguard hater propaganda to make you feel like shit for loving the game. rather, they are me verbally processing exactly why i feel like shit so i can hopefully stop feeling like shit. to assume that people who are trying to process these negative feelings are toxic and intentionally malicious is a projection made in bad faith. i love dragon age, and it is because i love it so much that it disappointed me, and it is because disappointed me that i have to verbally process it on tumblr.com so that i dont go absolutely insane. i tag my posts properly. i do not go into tags where i do not belong. i do not rage-bait. i am participating in post-partum dragon age therapy between me and my followers. if it ends up on your dash, sorry. my therapy is popular i guess. so please for the love of god enjoy the game, freely and enthusiastically. i am happy for you. i will sit here and be jealous that it spoke to something in your soul that it unfortunately did not speak to in mine, and nothing i say can take that away from you. please stop interpreting it as an attempt to.

[apple-onigiri]

hi can you talk more about your reading of siffrin and loop's relationship please. I'm so curious 👀

(omg hii i love your analyses)

well i guess now i gotta huh!! the demons (the people on my computer) are telling me to do it, do it, do it, so here it is!! most of it below a cut! because this ended up being really really long!

so! self-love and self-hatred play a big role in isat in general. the whole story is kind of about accepting that you are capable of being loved, and not, in fact, inherently repulsive so maybe you should open up, siffrin. imagine that. and i'd argue these themes crystallize into their final form with sif and loop and how they interact :) my ants. my mentally ill ants

(this sidesteps the curious meta element of how both the narration of siffrin to himself and loop addressing siffrin as they talk uses second person. it's very interesting but this is already gonna be long enough)

looking at all their interactions, especially through the lens of knowing who loop actually is, gives a pretty good idea of loop's attitude towards another version of themselves, and, by extension, their own self (this is a bit confusing because there are Too Many Siffrins Here)

the long and short is the resentment they feel towards themselves - because loop never went through the realization they're not unlovable - is externalized and often taken out on siffrin.

they are very condescending with how they interact with him. he's just a silly little stardust! so stupid, so naive! knows so little about literally everything. awww, let me help you out, stardust, before you hurt yourself.

on my first playthrough i actually initially distrusted loop a lot because of this. i saw it as the last thing siffrin would need when they already put themselves down so heavily; how they call themselves "stupid" multiple times for any and all mistakes they make and how unforgiving they are to themselves (especially the key hidden in the classroom exemplifies this). but with the knowledge of siffrin and loop starting out as the same person, it makes a stark amount of sense. when you have a mindset similar to siffrin's and loop's, no one will ever be more critical of you than you yourself.

it sometimes feels like loop's forgetting they're not talking to themselves internally and that this is a whole separate being they're talking to that they can't just externalize their own self-hatred onto, enough that they have to backtrack and apologize because hurting yourself in a way that resembles hurting someone else makes you think twice about what you're doing to yourself. there's a healthy dose of regret there, and guilt that they said something you can't easily erase from the mind of the person you said it to.

there is still care in loop's behavior. conversely to the previous statement, nothing will make you more sympathetic to your own plight than literally seeing it from an outsider's perspective and being able to acknowledge that you need help (sidenote, but kinda twisted of the universe to grant loop's wish in the most roundabout way possible. you want someone to help you? okay! help yourself! your other self, but hey, it counts, right?)

(cut here because this is getting out of control and i can't let it appear in unabridged form on anyone's dash, especially on mobile)

as acts go on and quests progress, loop gets these moments of honesty and empathy for siffrin more often. they obviously have been helping before but you know what i mean, don't you. those moments where loop's facade drops and we get a feeling that this isn't them acting, this is their true... shades, lol. examples!!

aftermath of touch therapy! of course they'd know what the root problem here is and how to best help. this is something acutely familiar to them and they're able to tell what siffrin needs to stop spiraling. and!! siffrin reciprocates this! haven't talked ab him and his attitude towards loop specifically a lot but this too is important. i'm rapidly becoming ill btw

forgetting the party's names upon waking up on the meadow and calling loop! it happened to loop before so seeing it happen to another version of you must make one feel... complicated. they patiently remind siffrin each name and make sure they're fine.

honestly, throughout the entirety of the story, but especially by the end of act 4, they find it very crucial to make sure they reassure siffrin they're there for him, that he's not alone in this. they know where feeling completely alone leads.

okay i can't take it anymore i gotta talk about this.

loop so doesn't want siffrin to use the dagger on themselves. it's genuinely heartbreaking to see their distress about the idea

they even try to dissuade siffrin from it later on, when you first attempt to use it, and are very very upset still afterwards

they care about siffrin!! they don't want to see him hurt! they don't want siffrin to befall the same awful fate they met where self-destruction melts into the natural state of being and you just spiral spiral spiral! they don't hate him, and seeing them fall so far from okay that they're fine with stabbing themselves to save time in a time loop where literally no time is wasted because it loops back anyway is awful for them.

this is where loop transforms from the voice in your head pointing out your deepest flaws to one that can tell what you're doing is self-destructive and bad for you and you really, really should stop. the, pardon my wording, tug on your stomach, like the one you get when you're standing over the ledge and looking down. and when you get the stupid thought how easy it would be to fall, your brain reacts by jolting you away. loop is the jolt.

loop is the inner instincts of siffrin personified at many points of the story. sometimes they're hurtful towards him as instincts of a self-destructive person are wont to do, which is justified with them just wanting that other version of themselves to Be Better, Get Better. and sometimes, it's self-preservation they depict; feeling at home with your self and expressing empathy towards yourself and your own awful situation.

when act 5 comes, loop is clearly crushed about not being able to help siffrin out, about not being able to get them out of their despair.

then, just like he's done with everyone else, siffrin rejects loop too. when siffrin shuns loop here, it's out of anger for being kept in the dark, yes, but it's also a rejection of any positive thoughts they might have about themselves.

siffrin's rejection of loop isn't only rejecting one last person they're close to like they did with their family members. it's a rejection of any and all instincts to care for himself and his well-being. it's the same thing that allows him to use crafts with no cooldowns. it's the same thing as memory of emptiness that lets him loop to the point where he died and just keep going. it's what lets mal du pays take form.

this refusal of loop's help is, in my opinion, the ultimate act of self-hatred in isat.

okay depression time over act6 twohats happy times yayy!!!

after a little bit because loop is - kinda justifiably - upset at how their suffering amounted to nothing and now this siffrin gets their happy ending. and they don't!! how is that fair? we have to keep in mind a lot of what we've learned was news to loop too. they spent so long in the loops, not knowing why, to the point where they begged the universe to get them out and help them.

their roles from act 5 essentially swap here. here loop is the one self-destructing and rejecting any help at all, and projecting the hell out of themselves onto siffrin, just like siffrin did in the "friendquests" in act 5.

so i haven't talked a lot about siffrin's outlook on loop before now (when his psyche is not literally split into tiny pieces, that is) but my little pet theory is that, just like they really hate repeating their lines, being all fake, and only do so because they feel they have to, they're often annoyed by loop because they can kind of sense the front they put out. if you hate the way you pretend, these feelings are most likely gonna transpose to another version of you doing the same thing.

but in this fight, the siffrin in it is not the one still trapped in the time loops. this is a siffrin tentatively learning that maybe it's okay to not hate yourself. so, just like act 5 is the greatest act of self-hatred, the ending of this fight is the ultimate act of self-love and self-acceptance, regardless of how it ends but with some caveats to both outcomes.

if siffrin wins, he refuses to hurt loop, stating outright that they don't hate themselves enough to do so. he won't do it even if loop is literally begging for it.

if loop wins, they cannot bring themselves to hurt siffrin. they feel too much empathy towards them. it's impossible to hate him - and themselves - the same after seeing the struggle from outwards.

regardless, they both exhibit the kind of care only you yourself can give yourself after fighting tooth and nail to prove to your own self-esteem that you're worth it. siffrin wouldn't be satisfied with killing loop because it would mean a rejection of some fragment of themselves.

siffrin went through a capital-C Change due to the loops (the theme of change in isat is another thing i could write on and on about), and part of that Change was having a version of you, your past self, still stuck in how they used to be and the situation that made them so. a healthy type of growth means changing for the better, yes, but also learning to love and respect who you used to be. if you met your younger self, would you resent them? or would you want them to know that all their struggles weren't for nothing? Change means leaving something behind but not forsaking it, letting it rot and fester unacknowledged

(insert rant about how isa's Change was actually kind of partial because he decided to completely sever ties with who he used to be instead of being appreciative of the aspects of himself he seems to still like, like being smart, and him resorting to hiding it instead WE DON'T HAVE THE TIME RIGHT NOW ASK ME LATER IF U WANNA but tl;dr actshually isa Change doesn't need to be full-on destruction because the eggshell is still there the Change God told me okay enough of this)

this. this is love. self-love given form. to me.

"you matter. your suffering mattered. it helped me become who i am right now. nothing was in vain. it hurt, and might still hurt for a long time - but it was never for nothing." that's what i got from this scene.

anywayyyyy i warned you!!! that this would be long!! if you let me yap! it's yap central over here. if you got all the way down here, thank you for enduring. have a cupcake :)🧁

[personastrologyhub]

How to Interpret Persona Charts for yourself.

Persona horoscopes help us explore specific life questions by bringing our inner archetypes into focus.

If I want to know how much strength the "warrior" in me has, how I channel my willpower into the outside world, how I release my aggression, how I fight, whether I am cowardly or brave, why I fight, and what tools I use in battle—then I prepare my Mars persona. What tools, both physical and psychological, do I wield to fight for what I want? Mars also illuminates the energy you bring to pursuits of passion, ambition, and physical vitality. Understanding this chart helps you align your actions with your deeper motivations, ensuring that your warrior spirit serves your highest aspirations.

If I want to know what role safety, insecurity, sensuality, and sexuality play in my life, and whether I am capable of enjoying what life has given me—then I prepare my Venus persona. Venus helps me understand my capacity for pleasure, love, and the pursuit of harmony. It also shows how I attract and build relationships with others. The Venus persona chart speaks to your relationship with love, pleasure, and beauty. By understanding your Venus persona, you can cultivate meaningful relationships and a deeper appreciation for life’s pleasures.

If I want to know how flexible I am, how well I can express my thoughts through language and gestures, how practical I am, what communication skills I possess, what my level of intelligence is, and how I present myself to the outside world—then I prepare my Mercury persona. Mercury reflects my adaptability, reasoning, and ability to connect ideas and people.

If I want to know what role femininity plays in my life, how I relate to emotions and the inner "child" in me, how much I long for security, and how I connect to the emotional (yin) side—then I prepare my Moon persona. With the help of the Moon persona and my natal chart, I can uncover the most important information about a person's inner world. The Moon persona is key to understanding emotional patterns and the instinctive ways I seek comfort and safety.

If I want to know how I face challenges and constraints in life, which pressures and forces I need to adapt to, what I need to accept without being able to change, and how I overcome fear—then I prepare my Saturn persona. Saturn represents discipline, structure, and the lessons we learn through perseverance and responsibility.

If I want to understand what conflicts I might face with the "demons" of the underworld, the forces of destruction, and the rejection of life—how dependent I am on different ideologies, beliefs, and visions—then I prepare my Pluto persona. Along with the Moon persona, Pluto frequently influences the deepest layers of a person's inner world. It reveals the transformative forces that shape my psyche and my relationship with power, control, and rebirth.

If I want to understand the meaning of life, how the inner "therapist" manifests in me, how I reflect on the past, and the role religion plays in my life—then I prepare my Jupiter persona. Jupiter speaks to my aspirations, spiritual growth, and the wisdom I gather through exploration and understanding.

If I want to know in which areas of life I need to free myself from the obligations that hold me back and explore how I can embrace the themes of freedom and independence—then I prepare my Uranus persona. Uranus reveals how I break free from societal norms, traditional values, and conventional boundaries. It shows where I desire independence, how I innovate, and how I pursue freedom in my life. This persona reflects the areas in which I experience rebellion or sudden changes, both imposed by external forces and initiated by myself.

If I want to explore my dreams, illusions, inspirations, and the spiritual aspects of my life—how I connect to the divine, the infinite, or the intangible—I prepare my Neptune persona. This persona also shows where I might struggle with confusion, disillusionment, or escapism. Neptune invites me to explore the subtle and ethereal dimensions of existence, asking questions such as: "Where do I experience transcendence?" and "What is my relationship with the unseen forces of the universe?" It encourages me to embrace imagination and creativity, while also warning me against losing myself in illusions or unrealistic fantasies.

Finally, if I wish to understand how I connect to the collective, how I navigate social structures, and what role I play in the greater whole, I prepare my Ascendant persona. The Ascendant represents the mask I wear in public, the first impression I make on others, and the way I engage with the world. It is the outward expression of my inner self, showing how I bridge the gap between the personal and the collective. By exploring my Ascendant persona, I can learn how I come across to others, how I handle social interactions, and how I adapt to the demands of society.