#other people not in my position can't afford to leave but I can which is why I'm putting myself through this torture

[questionablespecies]

God, I feel like crying and nothing has happened...yet. The amount of stress that I'm carrying is the worst it's ever been in my entire life and I'm an orphan.

It's another semester down and yet, I'm not free. I have prelims to study for, which I don't even feel prepared for because we've spent 8 months not being prepped for the material, so everything being learned is essentially on the fly, but hey, at least it's multiple-choice! I fucking hate this school.

And then I have my dissertation proposal. Honestly, that is the one I'm the least concerned about. I'm really reaching levels of IDGAF anymore, pass fail whatever. Every time I talk about grad school, it's about how much I would love to quit - like the door is right there!

And it's not because it's hard, let's be real. The work is immensely easy - if anything, the same as undergrad. But the expectations are different and the school doesn't prepare you at ALL for those expectations. They just tell you hey things are happening that you gotta do, no we're not gonna tell you how to do it even though you've been in class for this long and should've had professors say something about it, that's funny, anywaaaaayyysssssss....

Like I can't even make up how disorganized this program is. They're not building us to be professionals; they're building us to be administration. I shouldn't have to constantly keep double checking admin about when this will be cleared on my grade when I've already sent xyz documentation months ago. They act like they just started yesterday, yet the tea is that all grad school is disorganized like this. When if you ask my old boomer aunt, she'll categorize it as "breeding out the weak."

It's ridiculous that the people who work here don't even know what's going on either, and you can feel the lack of support permeating the air. But they'll do events to act like they give a shit about us while essentially robbing us blind because idk where my tuition is going because it certainly isn't going into adequate professors or administration.

I pray to GOD that I better pass everything in one neat bow because I could soooooo easily see myself doing something else. So fucking easily. This isn't a dream job for me, this is something I like and one thing about ME is that I AM A QUITTER. I will leave due to a slight inconvenience, IRDGAF.

I don't have anyone to disappoint other than myself, and I know I'll get over it.

[tyrantisterror]

For whatever reason, I found myself thinking about the theme of heritage/inheritance in Harry Potter and how it's, like, catastrophically broken in the text.

The villains in Harry Potter are almost unanimously racist and classist - they believe they are entitled to behave however they wish and live at the top of the social hierarchy because they were born to rich, pureblooded families, and anyone who wasn't is filth to be exploited and/or purged. That's the philosophy of evil in the book - "I deserve everything because I was born in the right family with the right genes and the right social standing. My heritage makes me better than you."

All the injustice and evil in the books is rooted in this belief in entitlement by way of heritage. People are abused and die because of it. Inherited wealth and status, and more specifically the unfair priveleges it affords, is the root of evil in Harry Potter.

So you'd think the protagonist would present some sort of strong contrast to it, right? That they'd be born poor, or mixed race, etc. But no, Harry is from a rich pureblood family, with the vast wealth and social status that affords.

Well, that's OK, we can still make a contrast. Maybe Harry differs in how he acts with wealth - perhaps, realizing his inheritance is an unfair privilege, he gives it away? Maybe he works to give the underprivileged their due? Again, no, not really. He sometimes buys stuff for his poor friend Ron, and defends his "mudblood" friend Hermione from racist criticism, but he sees no reason to change the system that dehumanizes them in the first place, and by the end of the tale is pleased to exploit his privilege for his own gain.

The whole house elf subplot illustrates this failing well - we have a race of slaves who are frequently shown to suffer from abuse. One of them, the property of a rich racist, risks his life to save Harry, and Harry frees him in return. Oh, nice, finally fighting the system, eh? Except no, not really - while Harry frees that specific slave, he's content to leave the others in bondage, especially when he inherits a slave of his own.

The contrast Harry Potter puts up against its rich, racist, privileged villains is "Hey, being rich and higher in the hierarchy is awesome and just, but you can't be a dick about it." That slaves belong in the dirt, but masters should be polite while putting them in their place.

Voldemort posits himself as the heir of Slytherin - claiming his inheritance is vital to his rise to power and villainy. And Harry opposes him by... also claiming inheritance from a rich old dead guy. Hell, the final battle comes down to who rightfully inherits a specific rare Wand!

The fact that Harry and Voldemort have shit in common is not a flaw on its own - villains and heroes are often foils for each other. But in this specific tale, the relationship the villain has with inherited power is so central to the conflict that the hero having the exact same relationship is a major failing. The story is just shy of saying "Voldemort was basically right, but he shouldn't have been rude about it." It's bad from both a moral and a writing skill perspective.

(The only inheritance Harry fully rejects is parseltongue, i.e. the ability to talk to snakes, which was accidentally given to him by Voldemort, and could be argued to be a symbol of trauma rather than inherited wealth. Also I'm still salty about how that series turned on snakes so cruelly, but that's a whole other rant.)

[tawaifeddiediaz]

you know, after watching day 3 of the democratic national convention, i need to say something, especially to other muslims like me.

most of the muslim communities that i'm a part of have chosen to vote uncommitted, or independent, or sometimes, even trump. they refuse to give their vote to kamala harris and tim walz, because of the way the us has handled the war in gaza, and how they have been careless with acknowledging palestinian lives lost, how it was american bombs and american tax money that went towards funding this genocide. it's fucked up, and it's wrong, and there shouldn't be any debate on that.

and i am 100% in support of that anger. i am 100% in support of forcing america to stop funding this genocide. no one wants to keep seeing palestinian lives suffer. no one is free until we're all free, and i believe that to my very core.

my only concern is that where this anger is being placed, from 1 year to 11 weeks before the presidential election, is so scary. because the reality of the situation is that america has a bipartisan outlook. whoever gets the presidency is either democrat or republican. and every vote that doesn't go towards democracy (i.e. voting for kamala harris) inadvertently goes towards trump's big plan of project 2025, which is basically dictatorship. Even voting uncommitted, even voting independent. we cannot afford to elect trump for a second term, and voting anything other than democrat draws that line way too close, especially in swing states like michigan, pennsylvania, wisconsin, georgia.

yes, there are many issues that we wish joe biden would handle better. there are many ways that the democratic party has fucked up beyond repair. there are many ways the democratic party has refused to acknowledge the pain of people affected by their military people throughout the years, and we've been seeing it for years. this is not a new thing. this did not start on october 7th. we see it during pretty much every administration.

however, voting for your candidate should never be based on a singular issue. no political candidate is ever going to check every single box. and its so unfortunate that we have to always take the "lesser of two evils" approach when nominating our president, but that's the reality of the situation at this very moment. there are many other rights to be considered that are at stake this election, all of which trump is trying to remove. abortion bans, women's rights, healthcare, social security, climate change, to name a few.

(and, somehow, there's a belief that trump will lead to a ceasefire deal where biden-harris didn't? let me tell you that is never going to happen.)

does this mean we just stop protesting or pressuring? absolutely not. you NEVER stop, because if our votes are the ones that put the candidate in their position of power, then we expect results. we expect them to work towards what they promised. and we can't let up on reaching out to our local county offices and our state governors and escalating these issues further until someone takes notice and does something about them. we don't elect them and just leave them to do what they want. we keep them accountable. use that anger i was talking about.

but it also means not having tunnel vision. the election in november could very well mean the end of democracy if kamala harris doesn't win. this post is not me all giggly-happy over the democratic party, because trust me, i have my fair share of issues with them as well. this post isn't to tell you what to do, because i can't force you to vote blue. i can't force the community i'm in to change their minds about toss-up votes. but what i can do is put down plainly what's at stake this election. and that is, very simply, our right to choose everything.

so if you are eligible to vote and haven't registered, please do. if you haven't voted before because "what's the point", please see above what the point is. a handful of votes is enough to flip the outcome of an election, especially with the electoral college.

and if you're still on the fence on whether to vote for kamala or trump, hopefully this post gives a little bit more perspective in the most streamlined way i could manage without bogging you down with statistics and numbers.

the choice is yours.

[slasherx]

Can you write a thing where the reader is meeting Thomas Hewitt's family for the first time(can be like a victim he liked and decided not to kill or like the reader was met somewhere else), please?

Gender neutral reader, please!

This might be repetitive to other fanficitions, but okay!

Content: Thomas Hewitt x gn!Reader

Warnings: None

Notes: 98% intro, 2% Thomas LMAO also I wanted the reader to actually like her friends rather than just "I hate these people why did I come here ugh"

• ───────────────── •

Cramped in a van with four other people was not how you wanted to spend your summer. Your group had driven all the way from home and planned to go to Mexico for a vacation. As poor college students, none of you could really afford plane tickets, so this was the only other option. You just couldn't wait to get out of this van and start enjoying your summer break.

You were currently driving on a long stretch of road in bumfuck nowhere, Texas. The rest of your group was asleep behind you, draped over each other. Keeping an eye on the gas gauge, you realized you were low on gas. Internally panicking, you start searching for signs about gas stations, but you quickly realize that that probably wont happen.

But, as if something answered your prayers, an establishment began to make itself known in the distance. The closer you got the more you realized it was a gas station. A really old one, but a gas station nonetheless. Pulling into it and parking next to a pump, the sudden stop of the van made your friends wake up.

One of the girls, Laura, looked around and began to speak. "Where are we, (Y/n)?"

"Somewhere in Texas. I'm just going to get us some gas and then we'll be off." You answered, moving to get out of the car.

One of the guys, Todd, moved Laura's arm off of him. "I'll go with you, this seems like a shady place."

Appreciating your friends' precaution, you waited for him to get out first before heading inside the gas station with him. It was run down, and clearly had a lot of outdated knick knacks like newspapers. It smelled entirely of cigarette smoke and old wood.

"How many snacks are left in the bag?" Todd asked you quietly.

"Enough." You answered back, just as quiet.

"Go find some candy, I'll pay for the gas." Todd offered.

"You sure?"

"Positive. Let's just get out of here asap. I have a bad feeling." Todd moved towards the counter, where you noticed an old woman smoking a cigarette behind the register.

You moved through the different shelves, deciding what Laura, Todd, Evan and Terry would want. You weren't paying attention though and bumped into something massive. It felt like a brick wall and you moved back some before looking at what - or who - you bumped into.

It was a behemoth of a man, with dark wavy hair, dark eyes, and a dark mask over the lower half of his face. His shoulders broad - no, everything about him was broad. Everything sure was bigger in Texas.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going." You spoke to the man. "I won't bump into you again, my bad."

The man, Thomas, was not used to this behavior. If it were anyone else, they would have told him to watch where he was going. As he watched you survey the shelves past him, he decided to be nice back to you. He tapped your shoulder and expected you to slap him, but you just turned and looked at him.

Even your gaze was kind, albeit a bit wary. He held out his hand, in which was a couple candy bars. They were the last ones that hadn't gone bad, but you didn't need to know that.

"Oh! Thank you." You smiled and took them from his hand. "I don't think I caught your name, kind stranger."

Thomas tapped his throat and shook his head. You were confused for a second but got the hint. "Oh...you can't speak?"

Thomas nodded, but then remembered he had a notepad in his pocket. Pulling that out, he scribbled his name and shoved it in your face. You read it, and smiled. "My name is (Y/n)."

"(Y/n), c'mon, we're leaving." Todd yelled from the register, peeking around one of the shelves. "Who is that?"

"This is Thomas, I just met him." You smiled, walking over to Todd.

"Hi Thomas." Todd waved halfheartedly. "Well, c'mon, gas is paid for. We gotta go."

"Alright." You nodded, then turned to the behemoth of a man, knowing you'd likely never see him again. "It was nice meeting you, Thomas."

The old lady behind the register, Luda Mae, was going to be damned if you weren't part of Thomas' life. She would make sure you and Thomas meet again, even if by nefarious means.

• ───────────────── •

Here's my masterlist, in case you like what you see and want to request more!

[twilightarc-gm]

Why do you like jiang cheng?

At the risk of liking him for the wrong reasons, let me be verbose and annoying about it.

A short anecdote: I finished the donghua before the novel and I liked JC's aesthetic so I was happy to have that imagery in my head for the novel, but mostly I came out of the donghua like "cool story, the ending was frowny face though" and I came out of the novel like I was lost in the IKEA store "there's stuff here but it's not what I want and it's organized in a way that's hard to navigate through." Bit like giving me a puzzle to solve.

Anyway, imagine a cat bapping at a thing trying to get fandom to show me what to do with MDZS (i.e. reading fanfic) and then I come across anti-Jiang Cheng stuff.

//record scratch

I'm sorry what?

Why?

NO.

I started then on Shuangjie reconciliation fic and quickly evolved into Jiang Cheng "Apologist" ((I actually don't think he has anything to apologize for even if he would do so anyway.))

I've been in the xianxia/wuxia sphere of media consumption for a year or so before trying out MDZS and JC just fits so well as the main character of his own story; destined for a position of power through birth, friends with someone in his life that causes conflict, seemingly betrayed by said friend when needing that friend the most, losing and losing and losing as his trust in said friend proves unfounded because the friend walks a path he can't follow, and then he's left with the tragedy that befell the world because--ultimately he trusted this friend too much.

It's a classic story of love and attachment and how good intentions can have massive consequences. Two men entwined by fate and in the end there's a battle on a hill (off screen in this case) where one is forced to "kill" the other.

MDZS could have ended with the past timeline, and I would have liked it more but at least in the present timeline we get Jiujiu and a-Ling.

Anyway: Excerpts and Commentary Below about WHY I LOVE JIANG CHENG, courtesy WANYIN

Of all the clans to offend, you don’t offend the Jiang Clan, and of all the people to offend, you never offend Jiang Cheng.

We stand by a badass mf in this house. The first thing we learn is that he gets credit for killing a big baddy and the second thing we learn is how fierce the rest of his reputation is. He brooks no shit and leaves no quarter. Amazing 💜

Well, I was done for at "gaze like two streaks of cold lightning" so RIP me, I guess. Reminds me of some antis that are like "you only like him because he's hot" which isn't true but it is a nice plus. He's described as inferior to LWJ so like, if it was only about hotness then wouldn't I like LWJ???

“I am his uncle. Do you have any last words?”

At the sound of that voice, every drop of blood in Wei Wuxian’s body seemed to surge to his head but then immediately drained away again. Thankfully, his face was already a mess of ghastly white, so it didn’t look strange when he went a little paler.

A man in purple attire strode over. He was dressed in a narrow-sleeved light robe, with his hand resting on the hilt of his sword. A silver bell dangled from his waist, yet there was no sound when he walked.

This young man had fine brows and almond eyes, with a chiseled handsomeness to his features. His eyes were deep and intense with a hint of aggression, his gaze like two streaks of cold lightning. He stopped and stood three meters away from Wei Wuxian. His expression was like that of a nocked arrow on a bow, ready to shoot, and even his composure was suffused with arrogant pride.

Jiang Cheng ruled the Jiang Clan of Yunmeng alone, so it could have been said that he was in a state of isolation.

🥺 Alone?? And he could still afford 400 Immortal Binding Nets? Self-sufficient king 🤩 And like, his reputation is so fierce and he's boiling over with anger in that scene, but still he restrains himself because he did the cost-benefit analysis! And then later he takes a huge risk on WWX, like he always does for WWX, and that doesn't work out for him--like it always does.

Seeing that nothing had happened to Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng was greatly relieved. However, that relief soon turned into a furious reprimand:

Parent behavior. Enough said.

He has a twisted smile when encountering a trigger for his PTSD and then he decides to fight it instead of letting it paralyze him. He's such a doer. Like, every other moment of the day he's carefully calculating pluses and minuses to every choice (valid) but when it comes to facing his personal demons he's ready to throw down. Excellent.

A moment later, Jiang Cheng’s lips pulled into a twisted smile. His left hand subconsciously began stroking that ring once more.

He said softly, “Excellent. Back, are you?”

He let go of his left hand, and a long whip dangled from it.

“Oh? Then please enlighten me, what is your type?”

Walking A-Spec flag very concerned about what the man who might be his shixiong thinks about him, more at eleven!

Wei Wuxian waved him off and then hooked his arm around Jiang Cheng’s shoulders. “Who cares? I’ll tease him a bit more before I go. You’ve already collected my corpse so many times. Once more won’t hurt.”

Okay but big lol that JC doesn't get to collect WWX's corpse that final time. //sounds of sobbing

A smile appeared on his face, but then he immediately humphed.

He's so grumpy and adorable! I love him! pre massacre JC is precious and I just want him to have someone to bring out that smile again.

He literally didn't have to do this. He makes all these excuses how he'll be embarrassed if WWX is rolling around 😂 Perfection. Boy, you are still carrying him and he doesn't want you to stop.

Jiang Cheng, walk slower, you’re gonna throw me off.”

Not only did Jiang Cheng want to throw Wei Wuxian off, but he practically wanted to bash his head into the ground to create a human crater. “So fussy even though I’m carrying you!”

“I didn’t tell you to carry me,” Wei Wuxian reasoned.

Jiang Cheng flew into a rage. “If I didn’t carry you, I think you’d hang out at their ancestral hall all day, rolling around on the floor. I can’t afford this embarrassment! Lan Wangji took fifty more strikes than you, but he walked away on his own, and you’re not embarrassed, pretending to be an invalid? I don’t want to carry you anymore. Get the hell off!”

“No, I’m wounded,” Wei Wuxian said.

Alrighty, like I'm just going through the entire book at this point.

Let me see if I can make this more concise:

Sacrifices himself despite his very dutiful nature that would oppose this. He throws away all his responsibilities for WWX, again and again, carrying on a tradition of favoring WWX over his own health and happiness. Citing: JFM favoring WWX to the detriment of his marriage, JYL dying to save WWX, and JC (exhausted and with little or no power) running into danger to save WWX ala distracting the Wen patrol and 2nd Siege.

Can't be honest in his affections and makes up excuses to do nice things for others.

Loves and understands his sister. She wanted JZX so he made it happen when LLJ had absolutely no reason to reinstate the marriage contract between Xuanli. JGS notes in the CR arc that he didn't want the marriage for his son in the first place and that there were better options than YMJ, and that was before the war! JC helped her get to Yiling to show off her wedding dress! Even though she married out he still felt so attached to her son he couldn't not co-parent Jin Ling.

Yes, he has Zidian, but he also has a second horsewhip that he keeps on him which is very exciting to know.

The narrative hates him but he survives. (He survives because the narrative hates him).

Most BAMF entrance in the novel at the temple scene with the busting the temple doors down and coming in from the rain with an umbrella. Like sure the narrative hates him but small blessings that rule of cool still counts for something.

Mama's boy.

Just some dude, shows up late to treasury room nonsense, knows all the gossip, no one has faith in him including himself, but he keeps going and doing what needs to be done even when he's so so tired and his shixiong shows up 3 months late with a ghoul lady and a latte, or disappears to liberate slave property without warning first and now he's called into a midnight meeting after trying to get some much needed rest and now he's got consequences to deal with. Someone help him!

An expert at sneering. Threats as a show of worry and care. This makes all the little and brief smiles so much more endearing.

Sandu Shengshou is an amazing title, get out of here if you don't agree. Holy Hand of the Three Poisons? Brutal, perfect 💜 It gets used like, ONCE. Crime against me personally.

Link to Blorbo Sheet for JC

He loves, he hates, he wants to hate he's not allowed to love. Zero middle ground, he's all in and there's no way out.

//is shot and dragged off stage

But just as the Wei Wuxian of the past who’d extracted his golden core for Jiang Cheng had been unable to tell him the truth, the Jiang Cheng of the present could no longer bring himself to speak up.

[fuwaprince]

👉👈 Hi friends! I have a long, serious post made just for you(!) that isn't full of spoilers, smut or mooning lawn gnomes. Please read if you can, this is a 💥 mutual aid request 💥

It has been a horribly painful and long while as most people following/keeping up with me know. and in a few days I'm going to be down $1500, which is basically all my fucking $

I can't afford Christmas for anybody, which sucks and I'm very sorry. I can't even take care of myself and haven't been, which also sucks and I'm very sorry

Landlords spontaneously raised rent on me more than halfway through this month as punishment for not getting to my house chores and not communicating, to be totally honest with you. I feel ashamed and awful about it but I didn't want to clean the place while multiple ppl living here had tested positive for COVID and kept walking around unmasked... I am not fully vaxxed because I've been too depressed to get any kind of necessary medical care done and I didn't want to catch COVID in the middle of my finals week for the semester. I woke up to being angrily and rudely bitched at first thing after the last of my finals (I passed at least). It wasn't a humanizing text. Fuck the mistreatment though. Rent is now almost doubled and it won't be lowered

There was no room for negotiation and I truly believe they've resorted to pricing me out of living here because the group of renters psychologically tormenting me wasn't effective (actually- putting a picture of my rapist on the fridge rly was super effective in getting me to isolate myself in my room all day and so was outing me as trans to the transphobic ass neighbors.... But I didn't and still don't have any place better to move out to, like the way they were hoping I would. Yes, I have looked and BEGGED btw)

I want out of here NOW, but I can't leave. I tried and had to come back because it was the best option. I can't afford to stay in a motel/hotel/BnB just to get away from them for a day or two during Christmas. I don't have any friends who I can spend the holiday with either. During the semester, I resorted to convincing classmates with keys to locked buildings to let me crash in them while they worked at night and I would leave before anybody showed up. Now that school is out, I can't do that. I don't have any family I can reach out to for support or friends who I can depend on for immediate help. I have been crying day in and day out for weeks. I have records of it posted throughout my blog. Literally crying for days on end. I'm being so fucking transparent

All that lump of text is to explain to whoever is out there, who might be listening and willing and able, to please consider helping me, if and ONLY IF able. I know times are tough and if you'd rather use your $ for other reasons or just don't have any to spare, don't sweat it and take care! 🫂

I've thought about what I could do for a long time and have helped myself how I can. It isn't enough. I've applied for so much assistance. Been approved and been sabotaged by my inhumane mom (who does not love me) via stealing my legal documents and letters and hiding them for months. My mind jumps to grim places but I'm clinging for dear life to whatever hope I have left that says things will get better. I wish I knew somebody with a business that I could work for. Part of me feels so fucking terrible for asking for help because I feel like a waste of all your resources. I feel like I shouldn't ask, like I really do not fucking deserve help, but there are friends online who care, who I know mentioned being interested in helping in whatever ways they can

So to the people who care to seriously me, I'm ready to accept it: please send me nice words to get through this and feel less alone. It feels pathetic to ask but I would love a nice letter. A nice card even. Kind words of any kind would go a long way. It means more to me than food. I have felt so broken and every day feels like a test to figure out how badly I actually want to live

I'm also leaving my cash app and paypal here in case anybody would like to do more than what I'm comfortable asking but probably very likely will inevitably need very very soon. I will be left with fucking nothing and I will have no idea what to do once rent is paid

Thank you to those of you who have sent love, offered to listen and heard me out. I really wish it wasn't so hard to survive. I'm trying to feel better knowing there are people out there who are also without help and hoping the best, but it doesn't make me feel any better or comforted tbh. I just wish the help was there for us. I wish there was a place to go for spare love, care, compassion, empathy, kindness, humanity, generosity... I need that more than I need $. Call me stupid but that's what I live for. I don't live for paying to survive in terrible conditions. I live for love and to smile with friends

I hope to write back to the friends who have already been so kind as to message me soon btw. I'm sorry for not replying sooner. Your overwhelming support is sincerely sweet and sometimes I cry because I can't believe people are so nice (to me???). It'll give me something to do that doesn't make me feel like dying! :') so thank you thank you thank you *fist bump*

Hope you're all doing as well as you can and that somehow things get better. Hope anybody else struggling like me doesn't make the mistake of isolating like a sick and dying animal. You deserve love. You deserve support. Don't be like me. Have the courage to reach out to the people who care about you for help as early on into your emergency as possible. Don't let your situation snowball because you spend so long trying to figure out if you're worth it!!! This Random Tumblr user is here to tell you that YOU ARE. Sending my infinite everlasting unconditional love. Be nice to yourselves. Be nice to each other. Fuck the hateful assholes who wish I would just kill myself already. Tell your friends you love them. Happy Holidays!!!

And here's a single picture of a mooning lawn gnome at the very end, as a treat! I told you this post wasn't full of it.... It just ended with it 👉👉

[mama-qwerty]

Okay, I'm gonna get political here.

I've been seeing some alarming posts going around, in which people seem to think that Biden is somehow as bad as, or worse than, Trump. And a lot of the reasoning seems to come down to how he's dealing with Israel. He's not doing enough to stop Israel and is actively supporting them. Which, he has to, because the US is Israel's ally.

Is it ideal? Is it great? NO. It absolutely sucks, and we really should not be involved, and be doing more to stop them.

But that seems to be the single issue most people mention when talking about not voting for him. And my question to them is, do you seriously think Trump will handle it any better??

And let's put Palestine aside right now. I know it's terrible, I know it's my privilege to look away for a moment, but I implore you, I fucking BEG you to remember that the US president affects laws and policies here, which affects each and every American who lives here.

This post lists, in a convenient little checkbox format, what each candidate is for and against. As you can see, Trump will support Israel, too. Moreso than Biden. But he will also remove rights and destroy protections for countless other groups.

Both candidates are absolutely NOT THE SAME. Biden, while not perfect, has done a lot of good for the country, it's just not reported because negative things get more views than positive. He had A LOT of cleanup to do after Trump finally dragged his ass out of the White House. And he's done what he could.

I get that Biden isn't ideal. He's not who I would want, either. But he's the Democratic candidate, and we absolutely cannot afford to "send Washington a lesson" by abstaining or voting third party. We are a two party system, and with Trump on the ballot, we cannot, CAN FUCKING NOT afford to split our forces.

Every Republican will be out in droves, casting their vote for Trump. One vote for a third party candidate, is a vote for Trump. If you do not vote for Biden, you are essentially handing Trump the victory.

This country will not survive another Trump presidency.

I sincerely believe that. The damage he did the first time around was bad enough, when he didn't know what he was doing. But now? Now he's had 4 years to scheme and plot and work behind the scenes with his cronies so that when/if he gets back into office, he can go all in on gutting the government, stacking the Supreme Court, enacting whatever laws he likes, and simply declaring himself dictator and never leaving office again.

And the Republicans will help him.

Every one of those spineless bootlickers will be trailing behind him, nodding like a fucking bobblehead, agreeing with whatever asinine idea tumbles out of his third grade brain.

"For the good of the country," they'll cry, as they gut support for the poor.

"For the helpless little babies," they'll weep, eliminating health care services for women and removing any help for families.

"Make America Great Again," they'll chant as they send the military to drag children away from parents and lock them in cages because they dared come to the US--a country that was founded on the backs of immigrants--for a better life.

Republicans only care about keeping themselves rich and in power. They don't care about the poor. They don't care about women or minorities or LGBTQ+ rights. They don't care about YOU. They only care about themselves. They've proven it time and time again, yet they always try to convince their base that it's really the Democrats and radical Left who are the bad guys. Because they constantly want to *checks notes* make sure people are safe, healthy, and cared for.

And that's not the America the Republicans want.

I am begging all US voters to look past Palestine, for just a moment, and realize that choosing the wrong man in November will have very, very, VERY long lasting repercussions for this country. We can't afford to "send a message". We can't afford to simply not vote. We can't afford to throw out the old "they're all the same" line.

THEY'RE NOT.

Please, please, please. Think about the people who will be hurt under another Trump administration. Think of those who will lose their support, lose their aid, lose their protections. Think of those who can't protect themselves.

The only message we need to send to Washington this November is NOT TRUMP. NEVER TRUMP.

[stitchlingbelle]

Why Lucy?

Ok, other people have probably come up with this already, but: we speculate about the Harkers being something supernatural by the end of the book--

--have we considered that Lucy might have been something supernatural from the beginning?

Leaving aside the inevitable Doomed By the Narrative foreshadowing she gets, Lucy begins sleepwalking and more before the Count arrives in Whitby. It is strongly implied that her sleepwalking is something beyond the usual: "there is an odd concentration about her which I do not understand; even in her sleep she seems to be watching me..."

Also before her first encounter with Dracula, her dreams and moods are uncertain--and significant-- enough to feature heavily in Mina's diary: "Lucy is more excitable than ever, but is otherwise well..." And again, it is stated that she is unusual: "She was restless and uneasy all the time, and I cannot but think that her dreaming at night is telling on her. She is quite odd in one thing: she will not admit to me that there is any cause for restlessness; or if there be, she does not understand it herself."

Mina ascribes Lucy's problems to her innate nature: "Lucy is so... sensitive that she feels influences more acutely than other people do..."

Lucy seems more aware of her attacks than Mina later is. (Or that Jonathan was, if you subscribe to that interpretation.) She reports not just the material things she witnesses (hearing the flapping of Dracula in his bat form, as Mina saw his mist form), and not just the fear and nightmares all experience, but "distant voices which seemed so close to me, the harsh sounds that came from I know not where and commanded me to do I know not what..."

And her recollection of her first attack while sleepwalking is neither a blank, like Mina's first, nor a grounded account, like Mina's last-- instead, Lucy reports an out-of-body experience: "my soul seemed to go out from my body and float about the air. I seem to remember that once the West Lighthouse was right under me... and I came back and found you shaking my body. I saw you do it before I felt you."

Finally, Lucy's struggle against her impending transformation is different from Mina's. When Mina begins to turn into a vampire at the end of the book, she can't abide garlic, but Lucy quickly grows fond of it and says "there is peace in its smell". Seward reports that "whenever she got into that lethargic state [in which Dracula controls her]... she put the flowers from her; but that when she waked she clutched them close." Lucy somehow feels and responds positively to the garlic's powers, even as her body transforms (her wound healing and teeth growing, and her vampiric nature attempting to ensnare Art).

Finally, Lucy herself, at the beginning of the novel, believes herself to be unusual: "[Seward] has a curious habit... as if trying to read one's thoughts. He tries this on very much with me, but I flatter myself he has got a tough nut to crack. I know that from my glass. Do you ever try to read your own face? I do... He says that I afford him a curious psychological study, and I humbly think I do."

I think there's an argument to be made that Dracula picked Lucy because she was the easiest for him to reach-- that she was sensitive, not in the emotional sense, but in the sense of being clairvoyant. She can hear him, and therefor be compelled to obey him, before anyone else. The strangeness around her before the Count's arrival isn't just foreshadowing for us-- it's Lucy's own second sight warning her that doom is at hand, and giving her the power to struggle against it for as long as she possibly can.

[ratgrinders]

Just wanted to say this blog has actually really changed my view on the rat grinders/pos.

At first I didn't care about them too much but dang, really sparked the empathy there. Buddy makes me so sad thinking about it because he doesn't have that support system that Kristen has.

One of like the key principles of deconverting someone from a cult/extremist faith (which like, isn't the entirety of the helioic faith but seems to be a good bit) is patience and kindness because youre pushing someone out of what's been familiar to them for years and years on end. I wish Buddy actually got a chance like Kristen did, I want so badly for the ratgrinders to like each other. I want so badly for buddy to get a place to choose if he wanted to pursue the helioic faith or leave it. Even if it's probably unlikely.

thank you so much!!!! thats what im here for haha

like, im not gonna begrudge someone if they dislike the rat grinders because they remind them of some unfortunate people they've met or what-have-you. it's just, compared to some of the other teenage villains in spyre (penelope everpetal and dayne blade, who ultimately in the season they appeared were kind of one-note) the rat grinders have been afforded a degree of complexity that makes me want to give them the chance to change. They're all still just teenagers who may just be short-sighted or in the presence of corrupting adults, they still have the opportunity to grow. If aelwyn and ragh can do it, then there's nothing so far that makes me believe the rat grinders can't either.

as for buddy dawn specifically, yeah absolutely! buddy dawn so far has been positioned as a sort of "here's who you were, here's what you could've been if you didn't meet the bad kids on the first day" to kristin. buddy's not like bobby dawn, a seasoned preacher entrenched in the church for decades who is actively and maliciously using his power in the church for bigotry. buddy's still a teenager who has been raised in this insulated cult to believe that what he says is correct, and there's still time for him to recognize the faults in his church and change for the better. what he says is still wrong and hurtful, but its entirely possible that just like kristin, his move to aguefort is the first time he's been in an environment not entirely insulated by the cult where he can be exposed to viewpoints other than his own. ultimately it's buddy's choice whether or not he decides to break from his harmful upbringing, but i want him to be afforded the chance to make it.

[7potato7]

So, Xie Lian descends from Heaven without stopping to let Ling Wen get even a single word in. He goes back to doing what he normally does, completely unaware that he just turned literally all of Heaven upside down. He spends several years this way (maybe even decades?? he has an excellent track record hiding from people) but Feng Xin and/or Mu Qing eventually find him and go wtf dude. So, since he's technically a fugitive now (Heaven saw him ascending, destroying everything, then rapidly descending similarly to a terrorist (except terrorism as a term doesn’t exist yet, so the xianxia equivalent ig) attack, oops. Speculation is that he works for Hua Cheng!!! which makes the man himself feel a certain type of way ofc) he flees down the Silk Road and ends up in Rome. He DID spend the time he was still in China (or the territories that would become China, since I'm estimating this at around 0 CE for my own sanity) trying to defeat random ghosts to repay his debt, but quickly realized it was futile.

ofc Feng Xin and Mu Qing now realize that this wasn't a terrorist attack! They already knew that, but Xie Lian's reaction is only proof! They go to Jun Wu, who decides that "Xianle" should be reinstated to his rightful position in Heaven. Yay! Except now they can't find Xie Lian Anywhere. Cue manhunt.

Meanwhile Xie Lian has been enlisted to the Roman army. Which, hey, he'd rather not do that. So he manages to finagle himself into a position on a small northern island which shouldn't see too much conflict. However, this is very much not the case! The Britons relied on the Roman army to defend themselves from the Saxons! So, Xie Lian just deserted and quietly retreated to gather scraps in some forgotten corner of the island. He gets caught in a storm and winds up in Ireland. He's still there when the Romans leave the island in 410 and when St. Patrick comes in 433. Turns out St. Patrick isn't actually an ascended official! How disappointing. For unrelated reasons, Xie Lian returns to Briton, now thoroughly "invaded" (read: culturally integrated) by the Angles and Saxons. He putters around the island for a while longer before heading back to the mainland (read: was exiled to the mainland. For witchcraft. In a boat with rocks in the bottom (very pseudo-historical, as far as I know the 5th century Britons were most definitely not executing people for witchcraft. Witchcraft was a fun hobby they did on the side, not a crime. However, I’d like to see you see someone stand up after being shot in the eye and not throw him in the sea. Yeah, that’s what I thought)).

He hitches up with the Merovingians, who deeply appreciate his rockin' haircut. Clovis (famously brutal and murderous, but then again who isn't), however, Did Not appreciate his ability to walk off a stabbing. Clovis stabs Xie Lian a couple extra times to be sure, then cuts his head off and sets him on fire. It takes Xie Lian about a decade to come back from that, so now it’s 511 and Clovis is dead. Xie Lian decides that he should try some other place on for size.

He ends up in a catholic monastery in Spain. This is where he learns to read Latin, which will later help him learn to read Spanish, French, German, English, you name it. Obviously, he can't pay the entrance fee, so he's a lay brother doing grunt work. He's fine with this. Although he has gathered some knowledge of the local religion, it's not something he can afford to be questioned on (thankfully, literally no peasant ever was educated in the scriptures so he was fine). The atmosphere vaguely reminds him of Mt. Taicang (in literally the vaguest possible sense), and he wonders if this is what Mu Qing had to deal with.

Then the abbot notices he hasn't aged and decides that he's an angel sent by God. Xie Lian decides it's about time for a change of scenery. They've probably forgotten about him in Briton, right?

Unfortunately, he's not that lucky. The abbot isn't willing to let him go that easily, and he and his successors chase him around Spain until 711, at which point they have other problems. Xie Lian reaches Briton and joins another monastery because that was nice. Poverty, chastity, obedience, thy name is Xie Lian!

Fortunately, this monastery is more willing to "overlook" his lack of aging. Unfortunately, this monastery is Lindisfarne, and is destroyed by Vikings in 793. Noticing that Xie Lian doesn't die when killed, the Vikings decide that he's the mortal incarnation of Thor, obviously. They take him with them, fit him out with armor and weapons, and bring him back when they sack Westphalia. He doesn't like killing anyone, but that's fine with them! They're just glad to have the mortal incarnation of... probably not Thor with them! While Xie Lian is still upset that they killed all those monks, he's gotta admit this is the best people have treated him since... his first ascension... ah, shit, he's gotta get out of here. He’s been having too much fun, this was supposed to be penance, mental spiral, etc etc. Maybe just in a bit, though.

They keep asking him to stay just a bit longer, kill just one more sea monster, please, your holiness, until suddenly it's 911 and Rollo is sacking what will become Normandy. When the French king gives it to them as a "please stop, thanks," Xie Lian goes there with Rollo. Then he leaves. The newly dubbed Normans are sad, of course, but they can't keep holding their god back! In reality, Xie Lian is worried that his bad luck is going to catch up to him.

For a while, he falls back into his scrap collecting ways -except, it isn't as easy in medieval Europe. They live in small, insular communities that don't much like strangers. So he eventually decides to just... hide in the woods.

At this point, Feng Xin and Mu Qing have obviously realized that Xie Lian isn't in China anymore (if you're wondering how it took that long, it's because they got distracted by the Warring States Period and the trail went cold). So they follow legends of a strange looking man who didn't die when stabbed to Spain. However, Xie Lian isn't in Spain. He's in the part of the world that will eventually become Germany, trying to avoid being pressed into a Crusade. Yes, it is already 1096. Keep up.

He does end up going on the Crusade as a cook. That lasts a day before they decide to throw him on the frontlines to "soften up the Moors." Xie Lian fakes his death. I could choose a specific battle, but I don't particularly care to. It was probably Antioch. Fine, it was Antioch.

He spends some time in the Byzantine Empire, which is rapidly crumbling. He flees after the Sack of Constantinople in 1204, thankfully with only minimal injuries this time. But on his way out, he briefly sees Feng Xin and Mu Qing in the chaos, fighting on the side of the Byzantine Empire. They also see him, but he leaves before they can do anything about it.

So Xie Lian fucks off to a random island in the Mediterranean. This ends up being the Island of Rhodes. He stays there doing his little scrap collecting do da until 1306, when the Hospitallers move in. Shortly after that, they themselves are booted off to Malta in another invasion. Xie Lian goes with them, bc what the hell, these guys kinda suck, they deserve the bad luck.

Xie Lian is still in Malta when the Black Plague hits in 1349. It... brings some old wounds back up to the surface. Best to just forget about it. He sticks around, anyways.

The Inquisition begins in 1478. The Hospitallers start to give him funny looks. However, he is widely viewed as a living saint, so they don’t really do anything. Xie Lian fakes his death, then barricades himself into a cave and meditates for around fifty years before coming back out. No one recognizes him. He does this a couple more times, with varying lengths of meditation. He should probably just move on, but it’s awfully difficult to get on and off Malta. Also, it’s kind of nice there.

In 1565, Xie Lian almost single-handedly holds off the siege of Malta with the aid of the inhabitants while the Hospitallers cower in their monastery. Really, these monk guys have gone downhill over the centuries. Of course, the Hospitallers and Ottomans rewrite the narrative, but who would expect any less? The truth is just embarrassing for everyone involved.

In a rare stroke of luck, Xie Lian leaves the island after the siege. Just a few short years later, in 1573, the Inquisition moves in.

It is now 1615. Xie Lian is very tired. He returns to the mainland after the siege, and now everyone is fighting over something called "indulgences." He wants to go home. He does go home! Jun Wu finds him immediately, oops. He'd been watching Mt. Taicang (insane behavior, it's been 2,000 years bro) and obviously noticed when Xie Lian went to pay respects to his parents. Xie Lian narrowly escapes and runs as far as he possibly can. Your pick whether it’s just because of the stalker-ish behavior or a Bai Wuxiang reveal. Either way, he runs all the way to the New World.

Of course, he doesn’t have the money to just... book a ship there. He signs on as an indentured servant. What are a few years off his life anyways? Unfortunately, before that can happen, he gets mugged and accidentally murders the guy. Instead of being an indentured servant in exchange for land, he is instead working off his debt to the guy's family. Which is fine, of course.

It's not, in fact, fine. After his service is done, he once more fucks off to the woods. At this point, however, most Native Americans know to be wary of foreigners, so he keeps to himself. If he gets shot by mistake a few times, it's fine, he shakes it off. At least they aren't guns. In most cases. He'll take what he can get.

He finds a cave. He meditates in the cave. He doesn't come out until 1850. It's almost being in the coffin again, except he can leave anytime. He just. Doesn't.

The shackle around his neck cracks slightly under the force of spiritual power he’s cultivated. He doesn’t notice.

The world of 1850 is very different than the world of 1650. Manifest Destiny is real and thriving. Suddenly the relatively friendly local tribes have been replaced by a bunch of other, less friendly people. The mountain used to be called Maskwa Wac, but now it’s Bear Mountain and Xie Lian is in Connecticut, apparently??? Mostly people call him strange names when he tries to ask questions, so he avoids them.

He isn’t used to people anymore. They aren’t exactly willing to get used to him, either. Centuries of dirt don’t wash out with a single bath. After two centuries in a cave, he has to relearn how to talk, write, and generally interact with the world. Culture has changed, language has changed, the entire world has changed. Xie Lian is exactly the same.

In 1863, Xie Lian finally manages to get a job. It’s gotten significantly harder to live without a job, so that’s good (maybe he should invest in this newfangled “identification” thing). Building the trans-continental railroad is a great gig for someone like Xie Lian. He’s strong and more than willing to work. The pay isn’t bad.

Unfortunately, some boulders fall on him after a misplaced TNT blast and his coworkers leave him for dead. But hey, hadn’t he heard of something called a “Gold Rush” talked about nostalgically in bars? He’s pretty sure it’s over now, but it’s worth a shot. He’s already partway there.

He only gets mauled by like three bears on the way over. It was good that he’d seen a few before at that point, or else he’d probably think they were yao. He also got shot several more times, whether by Native Americans or settlers.

The people out West hadn’t gotten a forty-niner in decades, but they’re willing to give him odd jobs mopping at bars and fixing fences and such. It’s almost nostalgic. They hear news about the South seceding and the war that follows, but it isn’t something that really affects them all the way out here. Xie Lian is glad to avoid it.

After only a couple years, he decides to go back to the East Coast. He doesn’t want to bring bad luck on these people’s heads, after all. He accidentally zig-zags down into Mexico and into South America, then overcompensates back up into Canada before finally making it to New York City.

It’s 1910. Almost the moment he steps foot in the city, he gets hit by a car. Somewhat delirious, he mistakes the car for a demon(?) and tries to kill it.

Insane asylums are not fun.

The important part is that he eventually gets out (or that’s what he tells himself). He doesn’t have the motivation to bother with a job anymore, so he bums it on the streets collecting scraps like he used to. Problem is, there’s a lot more homeless people in the post-Industrial world than the pre-Industrial one. Lots of competition for food and shelter. Usually, if it comes to a fight, Xie Lian just lets the other guy have whatever it is. It’s not like it’s life or death for Xie Lian, after all.

He gets picked up by the police, who aren’t so bad yet. Corrupt, yes, but this isn’t the Gilded Age anymore. They drop him off with a referral to work in a car factory (Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry) and only a few bruises.

Machinery, ah... it tends to... break around him. He doesn’t last long at his new job. Neither does his job last long with him as an employee. The factory burns down. The owner has Xie Lian dropped in a river with rocks tied to his ankles. What goes around comes around, really.

In 1917, Xie Lian is drafted into WWI. So, of course, he ends up in the trenches. He’s just glad that he’s basically immune to every disease known to man. Most of his comrades aren’t so lucky.

This isn’t the type of war Xie Lian remembers fighting in -though his memories are a bit blurry at this point. They fight for inches of ground in exchange for hundreds of lives in muddy, dismal conditions. The mud kills almost more than the bombs do.

The despair is the same. That much never changes.

Xie Lian leaves. He had to. No amount of martial prowess could help stop this war. Perhaps strategy would, but even if they let some random soldier into the war room, Xie Lian wouldn’t know how to strategize with modern guns, let alone tear gas.

Feng Xin and Mu Qing are still looking for Xie Lian, of course. But the trail went cold years ago.

Hua Cheng is holding on to his existence by his fingernails these days. He’s expanded his influence globally, but he still can’t find His Highness anywhere. Ghosts everywhere tread on eggshells. In one night, he replaces every single carving and painting of Jesus in Europe with one of Xie Lian. The papacy is in an uproar, taking it as a sign from God Himself. The only person who doesn’t find it funny is Xie Lian, who is very confused. Also white supremacists. They don’t like it very much either (that just makes it funnier). It turns out that Xie Lian has been canonized as a saint a few separate times over the centuries. “His bones”/relics are in six separate churches. People start freaking out. A large portion of the Catholic church believes that Xie Lian is either Jesus (and that the rapture had already happened centuries ago) or the Antichrist. This causes a massive schism in Protestant and Catholic churches alike. Islam becomes the main Abrahamic religion. Xie Lian does his level best to ignore the people bowing to him in the streets and shaves his hair off with a bowie knife.

On another note, Jun Wu gave up on finding Xie Lian centuries ago. Turns out Xianle was just a spot of mud on his Heavenly canvas after all.

This is good. It means when Xie Lian sprints his way back across the world, Jun Wu isn’t watching Mt. Taicang anymore. Xie Lian, still a martial god, makes it there in a week at top speed. However, Mt. Taicang isn’t the same as it used to be. There’s a fence around the base, and big fancy houses everywhere. When Xie Lian touches the fence, it shocks him as if he’s been struck by lightning and he blacks out for a second. His first thought is that it’s some type of array (that some other cultivation sect has set up there, an optimistic voice whispers deep in his heart), but it’s just an electric fence of course. He climbs over.

His parents’ well is full of cement.

Xie Lian returns to the trenches. He was only gone for three weeks. His excuse is that there was a messed-up transfer. No one believes him, so he gets court martialed for desertion. It doesn’t go through. If he’d deserted, why would he ever go back to the trenches?

Eventually, he goes back to America. It was the furthest he could possibly get from his problems, after all.

It’s nice to be able to write “homeless veteran” on his signs. The police bother him less. Well, slightly less. People keep saying the economy is bad, but it’s always been bad for Xie Lian. He barely notices the differences anymore. He barely notices anything.

Then another war starts. Eventually, in 1942, Xie Lian is picked up and thrown into an internment camp. He isn’t Japanese, but he can’t exactly say he’s from Xianle, a long dead country no one has ever heard of. This is actually a massive turn in luck, because he meets Banyue and Pei Xiu in the camp. They’ve also been mistaken for Japanese, because that’s what a... misinformed forger put on their green cards when they got off Angel Island.

They all got out in 1946. Pei Xiu manages to get a low-paying job, but Banyue struggles to find work for her skillset (snakes) and Xie Lian still doesn’t have any identification. Pei Xiu quickly loses his job, and they all end up homeless again.

They’re at Stonewall when the riots start in 1969. The first brick was thrown by Marsha P. Johnson, the second by Sylvia Rivera, and the third by Shi Qingxuan, who now goes by Shi Xuan. They’ve had a bit of a rough time of it over the centuries since his brother was killed and they were knocked from Heaven, even losing an arm and leg, but they were kept immortal by her Ghost King. They don’t ever talk to each other, but Shi Xuan knows he’s watching. How else is she still alive? (If she keeps his camps close to waterfronts... well, that’s just their preference. Nothing to do with the head she can sometimes spy poking over the waves).

Shi Xuan recognizes Pei Xiu, but he recognizes nothing of the once-glorious Wind Master in them. She hits it off with Xie Lian and joins their group.

Technology is changing. Everything in the world is closer than it used to be. Privacy is quickly becoming a non-concept, especially for homeless people. There are cameras everywhere. Xie Lian, Banyue, Pei Xiu, and Shi Xuan don’t have access to this sort of technology.

Jun Wu, Feng Xin, Mu Qing, and Hua Cheng do. In 2003, a video of a homeless man telling a police officer off goes viral on LiveJournal and MySpace. On a completely unrelated note, several immortals show up in various American cities. Jun Wu is contemplating moving the Heavenly Court. Scientists are calling the sudden outburst of silver butterflies an invasive species.

It’s 2005, and Xie Lian hops onto the subway. It has been 2,803 years since he was banished. In an empty subway car, he meets a Ghost King in red.

[rosemxze]

about the 10/19 update:

reminder: criticism is okay but do not be hateful, or send PB or anyone hate.

so, apparently a lot of players are really mad right now. the CN players pointed out PB's lack of transparency in their emergency maintenance notice. they pointed out that they were reducing store benefits while increasing exchange prices. to some players, they feel like PB is turning WHB into a cash cow.

additionally, allegedly some people have lost money from the shop passes where if you had previously made a purchase, you would have to pay again since PB had made adjustments to the rewards 😭 also they've also hidden the old levelling reward in shop passes according to this tweet. overall, it's super confusing so i'll just leave this topic as it is.

honestly, i do understand that PB needs to earn money to pay their employees but i think the way they package their bundles and paid gems are terrible and just doesn't seem to be worth the money.

for their 113+7 gems pack i can't even afford 1 lesser key, whereas for around the same amount of money i can spend it on arknights's monthly card which gives 11 pulls or genshin's welkin pass which gives 16 pulls.

so i just come to the simple conclusion that i'm going to stay f2p. it's just not worth it if i can spend it on a different game and get more. it's not a big deal for me as long as banners eventually get rerun ahahah

some were also upset about no maintenance compensation which i think is fair because the maintenance would usually have some sort of compensation in exchange for their player base not being able to play/grind during that time period. i feel like PB could have gave guilty gems, lesser keys, or solomon's tears. or even gold/books or jelly or any of the upgrade materials that is difficult to farm for right now. or even pies which is even more difficult to collect than tears atm.

there should also be compensation for those who have lost their money through this update :')

there were also some criticism regarding how they "fixed" the store instead of the bugs. not only that but more bugs appeared such as some units are now unable to be deployed after the update or how the secret shop's vortex will appear every time you log in but the shop itself never appears.

the more common topic at hand is the solomon tears. some players have argued that this is what you're supposed to expect when you are an f2p player. however, i would like to also argue that it shouldn't take months to fully max a single character— which includes promotion, skills (2 for most, 3 for L-tiers) and unholy board (for L-tiers).

reminder that this game is eventually going to have 80 casts (or more if they add the angels and humans like obey me has done) in the future. that is a lot of characters and they will each have different copies and versions of each of them in the future too.

using arknights as an example, that game is farmable for f2p players like myself. i never spent money on arknights but i was able to upgrade multiple characters much faster which is good for tower defense games where you need to strategise with different characters. albeit WHB is easier in that aspect of strategy, it still doesn't change how it is definitely a little more challenging in WHB to build characters.

though, i can also go on the other side and argue that perhaps PB didn't mean for us to speedrun the content either.

i'm personally okay with grinding and being patient as long as the event stages are reasonable and can be cleared without very high difficulties.

also i'm also personally okay if their gacha banners have a reasonable pacing and pity system. since that is my personal main concern as a gacha addict :p

though, seeing all the others' feedbacks also kind of influenced me a bit and made me skeptical of PB. this single update kind of made me look at them in a different light and not the positive kind 😅

but!! they still have another update on 10/25 so i guess we'll just have to see how that one goes. maybe there will be improvements? who knows. i'm just praying for the better because i do enjoy this game so far and want it to do well in the future too 🙏

reminder: again, it's okay to criticise and give feedback but please do not be malicious and hateful 🙇‍♀️

[lou-struck]

Love Is Pain

Wakatoshi Ushijima x Reader

Soulmate Au!

~ People who share the same heart are led to each other by their pain. The pain gets more intense the closer the two of you get to each other. 

~ Imagine how you feel going to a Schweden Adlers game only to feel a blinding pain in your fingers when their Ace makes a block.

This is my Submission for @portfolio-of-dreams's Love Me Like XO Collab which can be found HERE

You’re not sure when you started feeling someone else’s pain. Children tend to trip, fall, and bounce up again like nothing ever happened. Any mysterious scrapes on your knees could be explained because of an untied shoelace, or slippery pavement. 

It wasn’t until you got to middle school you knew for sure that you had a soulmate. 

Every day without fail, after school, your wrists, hands, and fingers would begin to sting something fierce. The pain would linger for a few moments, dull, and come back again. It felt like you kept hitting something over and over.

Through the pain and the swelling, you cracked a smile.

It is not your own pain that you are feeling; you have a soulmate. 

A true love…

Most mornings when you roll out of bed you are hit with a soreness in your muscles. The kind that occurs when someone pushes themselves hard during a workout the day before. 

It’s a nuisance, yes, but you feel a sense of pride directed at your soulmate’s consistent work ethic that makes you feel this way. 

The pain doesn't hurt the way it once had, it just fills you with curiosity. What on earth is your soulmate doing with themselves to make your muscles ache so terribly in the mornings?

~

After winning a raffle at work, you find yourself sitting in club seats you’d normally never be able to afford and watching a Pro Volleyball game. 

You’d never been to an Adler's game before, but as you watch the gorgeously fit men spike ball after ball down on the court, you can safely say that you are more than willing to become a fan.

The only thing you wish for is that you were sitting a bit closer to the court. The view is amazing, but you can't see anyone's face.

The intensity in the stadium is so electric that when #11 for the Adler’s goes up for a spike, he hits it so hard you swear you can feel your own hand stinging from impact. The graceful brutality the player moves with is fascinating, and it has you reaching for the roster sheet that lays neatly folded on the table in front of you.

Scanning the list, you read his name aloud, “Wakatoshi Ushijima.” you murmur, your eyes finding his roster picture. You had never seen such a gorgeous man in your life. With his strong face and serious olive eyes, he looks as if Pygmalion had sculpted him out of clay.

Throughout the match, your gaze tracks Ushijima as he plays. He scores point after point till his team is only a point away from winning the match.

His teammate sends a weak-looking serve over the net and the opponent sets up for a counter. With his other teammates out of position, you watch as Ushijima himself goes up alone for a block. The ball hits the tops of his middle and ring fingers before being sent back over the net and onto the gym floor.

The crowd erupts in cheers, but you feel something strange, something painful.

Your fingers feel like they have been slammed into a car door. It hurts so bad you gasp and clutch your already swollen digits in pain, not noticing that the Ace, while still standing tall, is holding his as well.

Leaving the VIP box behind you, you grab your things and head down toward the concession stand. Maybe they’ll have some Ice you can use to soothe your fingers.

The lady at the concession stand is older, but she has a kind face. When she sees you, she gives you an almost motherly smile. “What can I do for ya, Honey?” 

“Could I please get a bag of Ice,” you ask, placing your injured hand on the countertop for her to see. "I think I jammed my finger in the seat during that last point."

 But when the workers see your swollen fingers slightly bruising already, their eyes widen.

“Ice isn't gonna cut it,” she says worriedly. “Let’s get you to the trainer's office so he can get a look at that.”

“Are you sure that's okay?” you ask. "I’m not an athlete or anything like that."

“Of course it’s okay. If he says anything, I'll tell Hajime I won't be sneaking him snacks anymore,” she says mischievously, grabbing your wrist and leading you past the marked door that says staff only.

Once inside, you breathe a sigh of relief. There are no players in the training room. The only person you see is a young man close to your age. He wears a well-fitting trained shirt with a black and white collar. currently wrapping up some sort of large bandage.

"What seems to be the issue?" he asks, walking over to the two of you.

The elderly concession woman holds your hand up to him. “This one had a bit of a jam.”

He looks over at you curiously, eyes stopping to rest upon your injured hand. “That looks painful,” he says, walking over to you. “What happened?”

“I’m not sure,” you say, letting him examine your swollen digits.

“Oh?” he says in a tone you don't quite recognize. Clearing his throat, he regains his composure.

“Go sit down and ill get you some ice. I want the swelling to go down to make sure you haven't broken anything.”

“Thank you,” you say with a nod. You sit on one of the padded taping tables holding a bag full of pebbled ice to your injured fingers.

“Alright dear, I’m going to go close up shop,” the woman says. "I hope that hand of yours feels better.”

“I appreciate it. Thank you so much for all your help,” you say as she leaves you alone in the room.

Silence surrounds you as you begin to wonder what exactly happened to your hand. It could’ve been the seats, but it seems unlikely that only two of your fingers would be harmed.

Now alone, you wonder what exactly happened to your hand. Just as you are about to place a bit of pressure on them, you hear the sound of footsteps coming toward the training room.

 “Hajime,” a voice calls from the doorway. The rich, smooth, sound pulls you effortlessly from your thoughts.

Glancing up at its owner, you know exactly who he is. The strong physique, lightly tanned skin, and piercing olive gaze that glimmers even under the harsh fluorescents of a training room. This man is Wakatoshi Ushijima. The very man whose photo you had been shamelessly ogling from the roster printouts.

Just looking at him makes your body heat up so much you are afraid you are going to melt the ice in the bag that's resting on your hand. You force your eyes away from him and focus on the floor in front of you so he does not catch you staring.

“Wakatoshi, I thought I told you to come by right after the game.” The trainer says, coming back from around the corner.

“I had to shower first,” the player says

“You showered?” he says exasperation lacing his voice

The thought of this man in the shower makes your skin heat up more.

“It was a cold shower.” he says plainly, goddamit “Can you look at my fingers, I think it's just a jam but it’s quite painful.”

With a shrug, the trainer goes to get another bag of ice from the ice room, leaving you alone with this paragon of a man, who finally notices you’re in the room.

Your eyes meet and this feeling of familiarity washes over you. The muscles in your legs twitch as if they are calling you to move toward him. 

The resistance you feel, however, is one-sided and Wakatoshi Ushijima moves towards you as if he is in a trance, never taking his intense stare off of your form

He stops right in front of the raised table you are sitting on. You can smell the Sandalwood from the shampoo that he had just used. 

“You,” he breathes, eyeing the bag of ice resting on your hand. “How did you hurt your hand?”

“I-I don’t know. I was watching the last point, and they just started to feel as if they were on fire."

“These two fingers?” he asks, holding his own for you to see. You nod and remove the ice bag to show him your matching injury. He stares between the injury and you. 

The silence is defending. You can’t even move. It’s almost as if he is a predator, staring down his prey before he pounces.

“Are you my soulmate?” he asks, breaking the silence.

“I think so,” you whisper, your heartbeat going wild in your chest as if it was screaming at you ‘yes, he is the one.’

Curiously, he raises his hand and presses slightly on one of his bruised fingers. The touch is strong enough to be felt through the ice and you wince. 

At the sight of your wince, he stops immediately. “I apologize,” he says. “I had to make sure.”

“It’s okay,” you say softly, “I’d want to know for sure.”

“Even so," he says, reaching out to gently grab your wrist. His large thumb moves over your jammed fingers cautiously. “This is my doing. Let me make all of this pain up to you.”

“I-it not that big of a de-” you protest, but he cuts you off politely.

“We are soulmates, Even if you don’t accept me as yours. I wish to make up for this and all the other pain I have caused you. “

Not accepting him? The prospect of your soulmate discussing this within minutes of meeting you is terrifying. 

The thought of losing your other half before he even knows your name makes your heart-rate increase exponentially. Your chest feels like it’s being pricked with needles every time you breathe.

He flinches and looks down at his chest with a frown. He feels this pain, too.

Boldly, you curl your uninjured hand into a fist. “What makes you think I wouldn’t accept you?” You say softly.

His features soften and he looks at you warmly, the trace of a smile forms on his lips. “I apologize,” He says. "I just assumed that would be the case. But if you wish to get to know me better, I would very much like that.”

“I would,” you say, looking up at the man next to you. Although it's feint, a pink blush takes over his olive skin. It's crazy to think that someone so strong and ferocious on the court can look so bashful and boyish with just a few words.

“Then we shall,” he says, clearing his throat. “If we are to pursue this, I think I should know your name.”

“It’s y/n,” you giggle. "It’s nice to meet you, my soulmate.”

[kannagms]

As someone who has been a fan of the boys since the beginning of Buzzfeed Unsolved when Ryan was doing his little PowerPoint presentations and reading from a single sheet of printer paper, this entire Watcher fiasco is insane and was definitely not on my 2024 bingo card.

Back when Ryan and Shane announced that they were leaving Buzzfeed to start their own entertainment company with Steven, I was excited! I wanted to see what new, fun, interesting, and creative content they would put out without Buzzfeed holding them back. I'm a huge fan of Mystery and Ghost Files, Puppet History, Are You Scared?, Too Many Spirits, Top 5 Beatdown. Loved Spooky Small Talk before it was scrapped. I watched every new ep that came out, even the ones I didn't like that much like Steven's food ones, and liked and commented because I wanted to support them as much as possible. I rewatch all my favorite episodes. I have a dedicated playlist of Ryan and Shane content because it helps me fall asleep at night. When I didn't have much I at least had Watcher to keep my smile on my face and continuous laughter going when I didn't feel much like going on.

I got the notification 3 days ago about a new Watcher video and was stunned at what I saw. Sure I can watch episode 1 of new shows and watch some trailers, but I'm gonna have to sub to yet another streaming service to watch anything more. A streaming service that doesn't even have an app, so if I want to add anything to my sleep playlist, I'm gonna have to leave my phone on all night.

Anyways, I immediately went and checked the boys' socials and see what they posted for any additional info. Thousands upon thousands of negative comments all saying basically the same thing:

I can't afford $6/month/not everyone has $6 laying around, and it can really make or break someone financially.

Been a fan since Unsolved, guess I'm not a watcher anymore.

This is a bad move.

From what I've seen across reddit, Twitter, tiktok, Instagram, and Tumblr, the negative far outweigh the positive. The only "positive" comments I've seen haven't really been "oh this is a great idea! I'm gonna go sub right now!!" It's really been more, "well it's their business, they can do what they want with it." Or simply bashing other people because they cannot afford $6 a month or $60 a year, which really comes off as boomer ideology. You know, the old "if millennials would stop eating avocado toast or buying Starbucks maybe they can afford a house!" While completely ignoring the global economic crisis we are all facing. It's completely out of check with the fact that there's so many of us not just in America, but in the world who are barely living paycheck to paycheck. That there are so many people who WISH they could get a Starbucks coffee in the morning but often times have to skip meals because they cannot afford food if they want to keep a roof over their heads, you know the ridiculous amount of money that we spend to rent a small space. Never gonna forget the one apartment I looked at that was $800 a month, no utilities included, no parking, no pets allowed, and I could lay flat on the ground and have my 5'4" length reach comfortably in every single room. Wasn't even a kitchen or room for a single size bed (mild tangent rant, I now pay $1300 for a 2 bedroom apartment, most utilities included, but bad parking)

And for Steven to say that anyone can afford $6 is just so factually wrong. Has anyone checked the foreign exchange rate for $6? Some threads I've seen on Reddit are insane. For some people 6 USD translates to someone's entire rent or a week's worth of food. If I recall the comment correctly, one person said that in their country, Netflix comes out to $2 USD, and is considered a luxury item that only the upper class/wealthy have.

Maybe I'm just being bitter. Maybe I'm just overreacting to a piece of content I loved and cherished being pushed behind a paywall. It just feels like a slap in the face to fans who have spent countless hours soaking in their content, recommending them to friends, making new friends over a shared interest, and now feeling like they didn't matter at all. That we were just dollar signs. To hear them going from thanking dedicated fans for helping them get to where they are to but now you gotta give us more money if you want to keep being fans and now we are going to ignore your backlash just feels disingenuous and heartbreaking.

[pokemenlovingmen]

I've come on my hands and knees begging for some reader loving on some autistic submas, just a reader that loves these boys with all the quirks and hyper fixations included. A reader who understands the need to shake of that excess energy with some good hand flapping and loves to listen to hour long rants about the boys special interests (especially Ingo, that man WILL go on for hours if you let him, bb pls breath)

- 🐗 anon

PLEASE??? I need more positivity loving autism for autism, the good, the bad and the ugly. Sorry if these are a little short, I feel like a lot of headcanons here can overlap so I tried to find the specifics that I could.

Submas with male reader who loves their autistic traits!

Emmet

⚪ - He's happy you never force him to talk! Emmet goes nonverbal pretty frequently, not to say he doesn't want to talk. He wishes he was as verbose as his brother, because he does have a lot to say, but oh well. You always make him feel heard even if he isn't actually making any noise!

⚪ - If you live with him, things might be a little disorganized. He's more of a tactile stimmer and he'll do it with anything. If it isn't nailed down, he'll probably pick it up and start fiddling with it. Don't leave tools out. Usually he'll put those things down himself, though, shaking his head and saying "I am Emmet. And you need to keep this hammer away from me."

⚪ - You're all ears on the rare occasion he does talk a lot, which in a way only excites him more. He talks more and more the progressively more excited he gets and only gets more excited when he glances your way and sees you actually paying attention to him!

⚪ - If you are also an autistic or just generally stimmy person, you'll stim together! If he sees you stimming he'll start too. You're excited, why shouldn't he be, too?

⚪ - The number one most sympathetic person if you also go nv on him. He affords you every ounce of the kindness and respect you give him.

⚪ - He also just appreciates that you like him. Fact of the matter is, you really have to look a certain way, have certain interests, to be an autistic person afforded any respect and kindness. Emmet, and his brother too, neither of them are what people consider "cute" autistic people. He's a white-haired grown man in an elaborate costume with a cheshire smile and bizarre speech patterns. He expects not to be liked, expects not to be taken seriously, but you treat him as an equal and that matters. A lot.

⚪ - You never infantilize him and he's so grateful. Sometimes you need to slow things down in certain areas for him, or ask him to slow down in other spots, and you're always polite about it. You never speak for him, always ask first, and most importantly to Emmet, you never assume he doesn't understand things. He couldn't be happier with a man like you.

Ingo

⚫- You listen to him? You listen to him!! He talks so much, people often check out. But you listen! He's over the moon when you ask him questions about the subways or his favorite Pokemon he's been talking about, because that not only means you're listening, but that you're interested! Questions are his love language, strange as it is, but those tell him what he's saying to you matters.

⚫- He's more prone to external meltdowns than his brother. And you have his constant gratitude for never being embarrassed about him, you swiftly escort him out of places of high stress and are there as he decompresses.

⚫- Ingo is really thankful you don't have any expectations on him to react or even just emote certain ways. Pretty much all of the autistic flat effect got heaped on him and he's spent a lot of time, and I mean a lot of time, stressing about reacting the right way or feeling self conscious about how he's always frowning and people can't tell what he's thinking. But you know Ingo enough to know when he's happy even if his face doesn't say it.

⚫- I think generally he worries he embarrasses you, maybe with his behavior, or his looks, or the way he talks. That being said he always lights up when you reassure him of the contrary. Especially for someone who interacts with so many people on a day-to-day basis, he gets anxious that he looks unapproachable or even a bit ugly, so it means the world to him when you tell him you love his quirky little catlike frown, or the ways his eyes just shine when he's excited even if not much else changes facially.

⚫- Between him and his brother, I think Ingo concerned himself a lot more with masking. Both of them did it, of course, but Emmet is both more confident and he also has the image of "the happy one", so Ingo feels particularly self conscious about his stims. He doesn't do it often, even if you encourage him to relax a bit and not stress himself out about masking. He's masked for so long and so often he's almost ironed out stims from his life completely. That being said he does still stim occasionally, usually hand flapping, and he's glad you don't make a big deal out of it or draw attention to it. Ingo isn't sure he'll ever feel comfortable stimming like his brother can, but around you, it feels normal. And it's nice to feel normal.

⚫- He prefers it if you let him initiate touch, but also appreciates it when you lean into it and reciprocate. He just prefers to initiate, which he's glad you respect, because his touch-positive and touch-averse days come and go sort of at random.

⚫- Even better connections with him will form if some of your special interests overlap! He can indulge and rant for hours and hours and hours if you are there to enjoy his interests with him.

[cafeleningrad]

Rambly thoughts on Kozue-Anthy-Shiori parallels: But since I am on my "Kozue's hair is actually a light shade of blue-ish purple" agenda, all the princesses in the Juri-Miki-Utena friendship triangle parallel each other not only in symbolic purple signature colour. In fact the signature colour is nice visual shorthand grouping them together in their shared base conflict and social role.

All the three started from a point of genuine care and love for their respective "prince". But the prince themself was afforded a social position in which they could only care for their own problems, and the more Anthy/Kozue/Shiori wanted to be part of their life, the more they'd to adapt and succumb to the needs for another. And the respective princes don't even notice how miserable Anthy/Shiori/Kozue are for their sake.

And all of three girls feel in a certain way inferior than the "princes" in their life. Kozue's Black rose reveals how "Miki's brilliance" is leading her sword arm, he's the innocent, the talented twin, she's the wild animal. Shiori has no idea why Juri cuts of contact to he unexplained. Well, Juri was always talented, charming, admired ever since their childhood. All Shiori could do was to date boys close to Juri, Shiori herself can't really tell why, maybe to feel like at least she was good at dating? (No, she totally didn't want Juri's attention, she totally didn't want to be close to her by proxy. No, she doesn't know why dating boys made her feel so much much awful, no, no,no). Anthy did take away Akio's most precious role of Dios. Ever since her chivalrous, kind, selfless brother is wallowing in melancholia, turned out for the worse. And Anthy can't explain Akio and their relationship turning for the worse but her being at fault.

All the three girls feel they're at fault for their own misery when the opposite is quite the case. At this point no communication is a sort of control because with this lack of information, neither of the girls can only conclude that they must have done something wrong - to the convenience that their respective princes don't have to feel responsible or question the problems of their own making. (Akio not reconsidering his selfimage, Miki not taking responsibility for desire of familial bliss, Juri thinking she's unique in her suffering and entirely misconstruction who Shiori is.)

Note: note: Anthy's relationship with Akio is primarily implied here. n Akio's case he takes Anthy's suffering for his sake for granted. But mostly because he can't oversee it anymore yet he considers this just right for his sake.

In relation to Utena (paralleling Juri and Miki) she only realizes Anthy's actual toll later because unlike Juri and Miki, Utena at some point realizes she needs to seek out Anthy, and begins to pay attention. Utena realizes how conceptual Anthy was to here at the beginning. Hence why the bedroom scenes and the BR Arc are such a shift: Anthy begins to state her opinions more and more. Utena can state her own thoughts but also second guesses the events that happened, or leaves Anthy room to bounce around questions.

Whereas Miki and Juri are mostly focused on their melancholia on their own. The most important people in their live remain conceptual. Miki chastises Kozue for her statements but never seconded guesses why she would say or think certain things. All he can offer is the sweet drink from her childhood, or be sweet after her BR duel blackout or when she's injured. Then he can be her brilliant old brother again, when she's obviously in need of care. Meanwhile he doesn't notice how Kozue is in constant anguish over trying to have her own personhood outside being framed in relation to Miki. Juri is the embodiment of "comfort in coffin". She's absolutely not happy yet can be pretty cruel when people try to get her out of it. Instead of the Shiori who admits to Anthy and Utena that she would like to receive visitors because she's so lonely, Juri frames Shiori as source of her pain, unaware what anguish she causes Juri. Yet Juri doesn't realize how desperately Shiori tries to connect with Juri, with more and more desperate measures. With Juri's refusal to open up, understand, and see people outside her perspective, the false image, their reason for Juri to feel endlessly desperate will continue to persist. Either Shiori gives up on Juri - which will hurt Juri - or she continues pulling more and more tricks out of her hat for any kind of Juri's attention - which will also hurt Juri. Juri can continue to feel desperate, sad, and hopeless. With the knowledge who's picture is in Juri's locket, Shiori has received the ultimate leverage.

Last note on Adolescence: In Adolescence, we do see a reprisal of all the major themes in Utena, and Anthy realizing her final act of emancipation. If seeing the movie as a sequel, I do see the characters having somewhat progressed yet struggling to finally get out of Ohtori. Whereas Kozue and Shiori seem to have turned out for the worse. Kozue threatens Miki in their shared bathroom scene, Shiori sets up a duel between Utena and Juri, antagonizing Anthy and Utena on their escape. Why though? If following the journey of Kozue, Juri, Shiori, and Miki from the show, the following juxtaposition occurs: Juri and Miki have begun to grow and emancipate themselves slowly from the princehood mentality. Miki's desire for the sunlit garden always hinged on Kozue begin part of the ideal. But they broke apart, and Miki is forging his own path. Juri has come so far that she helps Utena sort of her feelings for Anthy, believing in a future for a lesbian relationship actually. To love means potential pain but also the courage to dare something new, worth the risk. On the other hand, we have Kozue and Shiori who were ground down to their journey. Kozue has adapted herself to the notion that she's the sullied twin, her brother too irresponsible to go along with her. But unlike him she hasn't had the chance to form any connection with someone who doesn't want to take something out of her. Ulike Untena and Anthy who came to understand each other. Unlike Utena, Miki, and Juri who get to play tennis with each other, or the student council contemplating on their shared sense of anguish. Shiori found out that the guaranteed connection with Juri is one of unfullfilled pining, and inflicting pain on her. That's the only way of expressing love left to her now...

And if we take Juri and Miki having somewhat progressed in their developement that they could take to Wakaba car at least to the direction of emancipation, contrasted with Shiori and Kozue having had to grind themselves down for affection... we end up with two assigned princess characters who had to develop for the worse. Because unlike Anthy they didn't have someone who listened to them. Only those who wanted to shape or use them.

Hence why Shiori is one of the major antagonists. Juri and Shiori do entertain somewhat a lesbian relationship in Adolescence. But it's still under the harmful framing of prince-princess-role of unequal power, chasing-chased, no actual understanding but serving a sword to a duelist, and someone to duel for. Most of all, it is a self serving relationship. The princess can feel eternally desired by her won. Shiori didn't have that sensation before. In the show she had to be the one making herself feel worse for Juri. Now she's the desired one, and it feels good to inflict pain for once because she can now receive the affection and attention by Juri. It is a relationship for the sake of one's ego. (Note: It's not only Shio-Juri representing an egotistical dynamic of getting something out for themselves. These are all prince-princess dynamics! Shio-Juri in Adolescence is used as emblematic of this issue.)

This contrasts with Utena's and Anthy's relationship which is now based on understanding, care, and a desire to bring joy to the other. Hence these different forms of understanding love and relationships, the maturity are juxtaposed.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

pmd9 do you have any advice for keeping yr head up + staying afloat when there is so much suffering in the world? i really struggle sometimes 😓

i understand...i can try to offer suggestions, but i don't know if they're good, this is just how i've been operating ;

Basically just, take care of yourself, in any small way u can, not in a hedonistic way to achieve ignorance of the world suffering, but on the basis that we are all connected & any healing thought or action you take impacts the collective, so if you can consciously try to encompass a compassionate attitude towards yourself & others in your immediate vicinity, it has a butterfly effect that radiates outwards..,

& it's important not to weigh yourself down with guilt that you can't save everyone, because no one can, despite that we desperately want to. For me, i just try to do my best each day to put something back out into the world that is "positive", be it prayers or posts or whatever, internal or external. i am trying to create balance. neutralize the hell parts of the world, and not just in a metaphysical way but taking material steps too like donating whatever i can afford, teaching myself more about the wars happening, talking to people, being ever-presently aware of the wars & willfully deciding to use my energy in that direction, materially, not disconnecting from it,

And yet at the same time i am like, purposefully not overly present online. really not scrolling much, there's certain aspects of technology i find it crucial to not be too sucked into , not just rn but always. once again its a constant balancing act.. Online is really useful when u use it intentionally , and spend a good deal of time doing other stuff, like sitting outside and staring very closely at leaves or ants. If you're taking in a lot online u have to have outlets to transmute it or it all just sits in you.

the wars make me feel like, it is my duty to retain a grateful attitude towards my own existence, and live purposefully, as a way of honoring those who are no longer able to be here.

Like every peaceful silent moment i experience, i can see how blessed it truly is. And i know this feeling if left untended can turn into guilt really easily, in which case you have to carefully guide yourself through that maze like you would a child.. remind yourself of the fallen ones, remind yourself that you're carrying on for them, maybe even invite them down to stare at leaves with you. keep them in your heart. we have to take care of ourselves right now because our generation is aging, in the future we will wield the political power, and we must not let this time period be forgotten or distorted or repeated.

So really yeah just take care of yourself, for the future! let emotions flow through you without judgement, allow yourself to enjoy simple pleasures, try to cheer yourself on. The world needs there to be a You, and it's important not to lose sight of that amongst the feelings of helplessness, U are important. Be in nature a lot, read, drink tea, yoga if you're into it, walking, being around animals, that's what makes me feel calm collected & grateful lately. Pray as much as you can.

Sometimes none of this will help and you still can't stop feeling the despair, which is OK too, like i said, dont judge it, U might have to sit in the void with it. Just be kind to it. that despair is not the essence of who you are. it wants resolution too. i hope this made sense and comes across with the sensitivity i am intending. And i hope you are able to feel more brightly soon. Be Well my friend <3 There is still hope. Love, PMD9 <3