#outoforderlyfashion

[outoforderlyfashion]

“

I leave pieces of myself with other people.

no one knows the full story

“

—

OutOfOrderlyFashion

[friedandcried]

Cut the bullshit and share the bed

@outoforderlyfashion

[outoforderlyfashion]

Sometimes I wonder if I’m too young to know real love. If what I feel is nothing close to what it could be.

- OutOfOrderlyFashion

[outoforderlyfashion]

The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

Heartworm

n. a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.

—

OutOfOrderlyFashion

[outoforderlyfashion]

@outoforderlyfashion

[outoforderlyfashion]

I don’t like that my default personality is “a nice girl”

[outoforderlyfashion]

Dear two followers, I know you don’t really care which I guess is pretty cool, but today I had a mental break down. A full on gasping for breath crying my eyes out panic attack. Luckily though the literal dude of my dreams took me into a quiet room, hugged me tight and let me cry. I ranted until I couldn’t breathe and he was just there. It was our break. He gave up eating to make sure I was okay and when I didn’t eat anything he gave me an apple, and that made me feel really good. It helped fix my shitty day.

—

OutOfOrderlyFashion

[outoforderlyfashion]

I feel nauseous, but I know I won’t throw up. My throat is itchy and dry, but drinking has not helped at all. I feel like I’m drowning but the pain isn’t from my breathing, it is literally just my head. My head feels like it’s drowning, it feels suffocated and I don’t know how to make it stop.

Like literally I physically feel this way

This isn’t me saying life sucks and I feel like I’m suffocating

This is me actually saying that I am super nauseous

And my head is pounding and it feels tight

And I really don’t know how to make it stop

But it all hurts so much

OutOfOrderlyFashion

[outoforderlyfashion]

No one seems to understand that their actions have meaning

Not just consequences, but meaning. That cashier who was too lazy to give correct change does not know that their former customer will no longer be able to ride the bus home.

That teacher who dislikes you doesn’t understand that the only thing you have going for you are your grades, and taking off some points for the heck of it ruins your scholarship eligibility.

You don’t realize that you need to walk the dog on time. That one day you might come home to find that a family member tripped on the pee they didn’t see and broke their shoulder.

You don’t see that where you walk matters. If you took a step just slightly more to the right you would have bumped into a man and broken your glasses. Glasses you can’t afford to fix.

I haunt myself day in and day out thinking about my actions and how I can’t leave the sink running while I brush my teeth and the lights should not be on in an empty room. I keep my phone on airplane mode so it doesn’t waste my battery looking for WiFi. I fear that once again I will be stranded alone with no way to call for help.

[outoforderlyfashion]

Who wants to hold me while I cry

Any takers?

@outoforderlyfashion

[outoforderlyfashion]

I’ve never had a best friend, and that really breaks my heart. There have been times when I thought I had a best friend. Thought I could tell everything to, hold nothing back. But I haven’t, and I’m getting tired of being lonely. I don’t really have any friends. I have one, but she has her own best friend. All of my old friends left. They found better friends perhaps.

OutOfOrderlyFashion [im lonely]

[outoforderlyfashion]

"

Have you ever fallen in love?

Fallen so deeply in love they're all you ever think about?

Fallen so fast in love you don't realize what happened until it's too late?

You never realized how strong your love was until they are gone, and the only thing left for you to feel is the empty aching pain that never seems to stop

The pain that now inhabits your heart"

OutOfOrderlyFashion

[outoforderlyfashion]

My body is a canvas that only I can paint on. Others may join and dabble on some red and blue hues, Paint hearts on my cheeks, and arrows on my arms. Cover my palms in swirls that spell out love, And trail strokes of maroon down my stubbly legs. They may leave their imprint on me when it’s time to go, Leave me with a sweet parting memory of our time together, But only when I say so.This is my canvas, And you need an invitation

OutOfOrderlyFashion {please no reposts! feel free to reblog}

[outoforderlyfashion]

[outoforderlyfashion]

"When I'm with you I'm at my highest point,

when you're gone I'm empty "

-

OutOfOrderlyFashion

[outoforderlyfashion]

"I'm not sure what love is,

but I know that I love her.

Not love as in in love but

I love her

I love her smile and her laugh.

I love the red marks on her face and how her hair never stays still.

I love her voice,

Her slightly crooked nose and bad sense of style.

I love how warm her hands are while mine are so cold.

How soft her hugs are and how sweet her sweatshirts smell.

I miss walking her to class and joking around in the halls.

Swinging our arms as we walked down the hall.

I missed not caring that my world was going to shit, because she made me forget.

And now that she's gone and I'm forced to move on,

all I have left are the things I loved about her

But I could have never been in love,

I barely know what love is"

-S.S The one that got away