#oxytocin and bonding

[shisasan]

Love is the oldest instinct, the first truth burned into blood and bone.

🜍 ⟡ ⟢

[mywordstovictor]

Humans and our overactive social bonding instincts: I love many of my own species, but is one species enough? Can not these other mammals also be made to feel my love? Can I not make them love me back? How many generations will it take before I can make a wolf fit in my lap? I am unbothered by this felines claws though they do turn against me. This creature is my Baby. I am its Father. I am unbothered by the teeth of this scaled thing that slithers. Let me taste its venom if I can also taste its affection. Even this fish. I give it plants and food and a Bowl of Friendship. This fern is also my friend. It is my Baby. I am its Father. I am a Plant Dad. I share a bond with many photosynthetic organisms. It disturbs me that the bear’s claws, though I would gladly suffer them like I suffer those of my beloved kitty, would be fatal if applied by the creature in a similar manner, so I shall make one of cloth. I will give it eyes full of love. I will love my cloth bear. I will also love this Pet Rock. It has googly eyes so it also has a soul. I will love everything, living, non-living, manufactured or found that directly crosses my path. Anything the light touches may be subject to my love. Except Terry. Fuck Terry. And mosquitoes. Also anyone outside my range of direct contact only half exists in my brain so I don’t really care.

[golden42]

Understanding Anxious Attachment Style Through a Neuroscience Lens

Key Takeaways

Anxious attachment often stems from inconsistent caregiving during early childhood, leading to a heightened need for reassurance in relationships.

Neuroscience reveals that brain structures like the amygdala, prefrontal cortex, and hippocampus play crucial roles in the development of anxious attachment.

People with anxious attachment may struggle with trust and communication, affecting relationship stability.

Cognitive behavioral strategies and mindfulness can help manage anxious attachment tendencies.

Understanding and addressing anxious attachment can lead to healthier, more secure relationships.

The Neuroscience of Anxious Attachment

Anxious attachment is a fascinating area of study within both psychology and neuroscience. It describes a pattern of attachment behavior characterized by a deep-seated fear of abandonment and a constant need for reassurance from partners. To truly grasp why this happens, we need to delve into the neuroscience behind it.

Attachment styles are shaped by our early interactions with caregivers. When these interactions are inconsistent or unpredictable, they can lead to an anxious attachment style. This inconsistency triggers a heightened sensitivity to potential rejection or abandonment, which is deeply embedded in our brain's functioning.

Our brain plays a pivotal role in how attachment styles manifest. Various brain structures influence our emotions and how we react to attachment-related stimuli. Understanding these structures provides a clearer picture of why some people develop anxious attachment styles and how they can affect adult relationships.

Anxious Attachment Explained

At its core, anxious attachment is all about insecurity. People with this attachment style often worry excessively about their partner's love and commitment. They may constantly seek validation and fear that their partner will leave them. This can lead to behaviors such as clinging, jealousy, or even controlling tendencies.

These behaviors are not just random; they stem from a deep-seated need to feel secure and loved. The irony is that the very actions taken to seek reassurance often push partners away, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of rejection and abandonment.

The Role of Early Childhood Experiences

Early childhood experiences are fundamental in shaping our attachment styles. When a child receives inconsistent care—sometimes attentive, other times neglectful—they may develop an anxious attachment style. This inconsistency creates uncertainty in the child's mind about whether their needs will be met.

For example, if a caregiver responds to a child's cries with comfort one day but ignores them the next, the child learns that their needs are not reliably met. This unpredictability fosters anxiety about whether they are worthy of love and care, leading to a constant search for reassurance as they grow older.

How Anxious Attachment Develops in the Brain

The development of anxious attachment in the brain is a complex process involving various neural circuits. The brain's fear and reward systems play significant roles in this development. When a child experiences inconsistent caregiving, their brain's fear circuitry becomes more active, heightening their sensitivity to potential threats, such as rejection or abandonment.

Moreover, the brain's reward system is also affected. When a caregiver provides comfort, the brain releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, reinforcing the child's need for reassurance. However, the unpredictability of this comfort creates a cycle of anxiety and reward-seeking behavior.

As these neural pathways become ingrained, they influence how individuals perceive and react to attachment-related situations throughout their lives. This is why anxious attachment can persist into adulthood, affecting relationships and emotional well-being.

Brain Structures Influencing Anxious Attachment

Understanding the specific brain structures involved in anxious attachment can provide valuable insights into how this attachment style develops and manifests.

The Amygdala's Role in Anxiety

The amygdala is a key player in the brain's emotional processing, particularly in fear and anxiety responses. In individuals with anxious attachment, the amygdala is often more active, making them more sensitive to perceived threats in relationships. This heightened activity can lead to overreactions to minor conflicts or misunderstandings, as the brain interprets these situations as potential signs of abandonment.

Impact of the Prefrontal Cortex

The prefrontal cortex is responsible for higher-order thinking, such as decision-making and impulse control. In people with anxious attachment, the prefrontal cortex may struggle to regulate the emotional responses triggered by the amygdala. This can result in difficulty managing emotions and impulsive behaviors in relationships, as the logical part of the brain is overpowered by emotional reactions.

Hippocampus and Memory of Attachment

The hippocampus is crucial for memory formation and recall. In the context of anxious attachment, it helps store and retrieve memories of past attachment experiences. When a person with anxious attachment encounters a situation reminiscent of past rejection or inconsistency, the hippocampus retrieves these memories, reinforcing their fear and anxiety. This cycle perpetuates the anxious attachment style, as the brain continuously revisits past experiences to inform current behavior.

Effects of Anxious Attachment on Relationships

Anxious attachment can significantly impact the dynamics of a relationship. Those with this attachment style often experience heightened emotional responses, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. Because of their constant need for reassurance, partners may feel overwhelmed or suffocated, leading to further tension and dissatisfaction.

Moreover, the fear of abandonment can result in a partner's actions being misinterpreted as signs of impending rejection. This can create a cycle where the anxious partner's behaviors inadvertently push their partner away, reinforcing their fears and insecurities.

Communication Challenges

Effective communication is the cornerstone of healthy relationships. However, for those with anxious attachment, communication can become a significant challenge. Their fear of rejection may lead to indirect communication or reluctance to express needs and desires openly.

For instance, an anxious partner might not express their feelings directly but instead drop hints or become passive-aggressive when their needs are unmet. This indirect communication style can confuse their partner, leading to misunderstandings and unresolved issues.

Trust and Relationship Stability

Trust is another area where anxious attachment can cause difficulties. The constant fear of abandonment can make it hard for individuals to fully trust their partners, even when there is no reason to doubt them. This lack of trust can manifest as jealousy, possessiveness, or constant questioning of the partner's actions and intentions.

Emotional Dependency and Conflict

High emotional dependency on partners for self-worth and validation.

Frequent conflicts due to perceived lack of attention or affection.

Difficulty in managing emotions, leading to outbursts or withdrawal.

Emotional dependency is a hallmark of anxious attachment. Individuals may rely heavily on their partners for validation and self-worth, placing undue pressure on the relationship. This dependency can lead to frequent conflicts, especially if the partner cannot meet these high emotional demands.

Moreover, the inability to manage emotions effectively can lead to either emotional outbursts or withdrawal. These extreme reactions can strain the relationship, making it challenging to maintain stability and harmony.

Addressing these issues requires both partners to work together to create a supportive and understanding environment. Open communication, patience, and empathy are essential in managing the challenges posed by anxious attachment.

Managing Anxious Attachment

While anxious attachment can pose challenges, it is not insurmountable. With the right strategies and support, individuals can learn to manage their attachment style and foster healthier relationships.

Understanding the underlying causes of anxious attachment is the first step. Recognizing that these behaviors stem from early experiences and brain wiring can help individuals approach the issue with compassion and a willingness to change.

Cognitive Behavioral Strategies

Cognitive behavioral strategies can be highly effective in managing anxious attachment. These strategies focus on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that contribute to anxiety and insecurity. By reframing these thoughts, individuals can develop healthier beliefs about themselves and their relationships.

Mindfulness and Emotion Regulation

Mindfulness practices can also play a crucial role in managing anxious attachment. By cultivating present-moment awareness, individuals can learn to observe their thoughts and emotions without judgment. This awareness can help them respond to situations more calmly and rationally, reducing the likelihood of emotional outbursts.

Emotion regulation techniques, such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation, can also help individuals manage their anxiety and emotional responses. These techniques provide tools to calm the nervous system and regain control over intense emotions.

Seeking Professional Help

For many, seeking professional help is a valuable step in managing anxious attachment. Therapists trained in attachment theory can provide insights and strategies tailored to an individual's needs. Therapy offers a safe space to explore past experiences, understand current behaviors, and develop new ways of relating to others.

"Therapy helped me understand my anxious attachment and gave me tools to communicate more effectively with my partner. It's been a game-changer for our relationship." – A real testimonial from a client who worked through their attachment issues in therapy.

In therapy, individuals can also work on building self-esteem and developing a more secure attachment style. This process takes time and effort, but with commitment and support, it is possible to move towards healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Conclusion: Moving Towards Secure Attachment

Ultimately, the goal is to move towards a secure attachment style, where individuals feel confident in their relationships and are able to express their needs openly and directly. Building healthy relationship patterns requires self-reflection, patience, and a willingness to grow.

It's important to remember that change is possible, and with the right support and strategies, individuals can overcome the challenges of anxious attachment and build lasting, meaningful connections. For more insights, consider exploring this free presentation on relationship dynamics.

Building Healthy Relationship Patterns

Creating healthy relationship patterns starts with self-awareness and a commitment to change. It's essential to recognize how anxious attachment influences your interactions and be willing to adopt new strategies. Begin by fostering open and honest communication with your partner. Express your needs clearly and listen actively to theirs. This mutual understanding can lay the foundation for a more secure attachment.

Additionally, work on building trust by setting realistic expectations and being consistent in your actions. Consistency helps reassure both partners and builds a sense of reliability and safety within the relationship. Over time, these practices can transform the dynamics of your relationship, moving it towards greater security and fulfillment.

Importance of Self-Reflection and Growth

Self-reflection is a powerful tool in the journey towards overcoming anxious attachment. By taking the time to examine your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, you can gain insights into the root causes of your attachment style. Consider journaling your experiences and emotions to track patterns and progress over time.

Growth requires patience and self-compassion. Recognize that change doesn't happen overnight and that setbacks are a natural part of the process. Celebrate small victories and learn from challenges. Remember, the goal is not perfection but progress. By embracing a growth mindset, you can cultivate a healthier relationship with yourself and others.

Frequently Asked Questions

Understanding anxious attachment can be complex, but it's an essential step towards healthier relationships. Here are some common questions to help clarify this topic.

What is anxious attachment?

Anxious attachment is a type of attachment style characterized by a fear of abandonment and a strong need for reassurance from partners. It often develops from inconsistent caregiving during childhood, leading individuals to seek constant validation and fear rejection in relationships.

How does anxious attachment affect brain activity?

Anxious attachment affects brain activity by engaging the amygdala, which heightens sensitivity to perceived threats like rejection. The prefrontal cortex may struggle to regulate these emotional responses, leading to difficulty managing emotions. The hippocampus stores memories of past attachment experiences, reinforcing anxious behaviors.

Can anxious attachment be changed?

Yes, anxious attachment can be changed with effort and the right strategies. Cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness practices, and professional support can help individuals develop healthier attachment patterns. It's a gradual process that involves understanding past influences and actively working towards more secure relationships.

What are common signs of anxious attachment in adults?

Common signs of anxious attachment in adults include a constant need for reassurance, fear of abandonment, difficulty trusting partners, and emotional dependency. These individuals may also exhibit jealousy, possessiveness, and have challenges with communication and conflict resolution.

Why is understanding anxious attachment important for relationships?

Understanding anxious attachment is crucial because it helps individuals recognize how their attachment style affects their relationships. By identifying these patterns, they can work towards healthier interactions, improving communication, trust, and emotional connection. This awareness can lead to more stable and fulfilling relationships.

Some of the links on this website are affiliate links, and that means we may earn a commission if you click or purchase through those link. The price you pay will be the same, but by using our affiliate links you are helping support our website. We genuinely appreciate your support. Thank you!

[lovesexplore]

The Tangle-Cuddling Position is the ideal sleeping position.

In today's busy environment, getting a good night's sleep has become a precious commodity. Many people struggle with sleep issues like insomnia and restless nights. A lesser-known sleeping position called the "tangle cuddling" posture might be the key to a restful and energizing slumber. This in-depth article will examine this novel sleeping position, discussing its benefits, the best way to do it, and why it might be the solution to your sleep issues.

Get Access Now: Unlock Your Best Sleep

What is the Tangle Cuddling Sleeping Position?

A pleasant and private method to sleep with your lover is in the "spooning" or "intertwined" position, often known as the "tangle cuddling" position. In this position, your bodies are linked in a love tangle as you both lie on your sides, facing the same direction.

The Science Behind Tangle Cuddling

Tangle cuddling is more than just a positive body posture; it has scientific backing. Your bodies release oxytocin during this kind of hugging, also referred to as the "love hormone." Because of this hormone, which promotes connection and eases stress and anxiety, it is easier to fall asleep and enjoy a deeper, more restorative sleep.

How to Get into the Tangle Cuddling Position

Follow these easy steps to adopt the Tangle Cuddling Sleeping Position.

. Lie on your side with your lover next to you, facing the same way. . For a comfortable angle, slightly bend your knees. . Give your spouse permission to spoon you from behind while . . . . .placing their arm around your waist. . For a tight fit, intertwine your legs with that of your companion.

Benefits of Tangle Cuddling

Improved Sleep Quality

Better sleep is one of the main advantages of tangling cuddling. Reduced evening restlessness is a result of the proximity on a physical and mental level, which fosters emotions of security and calm.

Enhanced Bonding

Tangle snuggling helps lovers' emotional connections. It promotes connection and tenderness, which is particularly advantageous for couples who lead busy lifestyles.

Pain Relief

Additionally, tangle hugging might relieve pain. It promotes improved spinal alignment, which may lessen discomfort brought on by ailments like back pain.

Who Should Try Tangle Cuddling?

Tangle snuggling is not just for romantically involved couples. This cozy sleeping posture is good for friends, family, and even pets.

Common Misconceptions About Tangle Cuddling

It's a common misconception that tangling hugging is only appropriate for couples. Anyone trying to improve their quality of sleep and emotional wellbeing can benefit from it.

Tips for a Comfortable Tangle Cuddling Experience

To make your tangle cuddling experience even more comfortable, consider these tips.

. Make use of pillows and a comfortable mattress. . Set the room's temperature to your preference. . Be honest with your partner about your desires.

Variations of Tangle Cuddling

Depending on your comfort level and tastes, there are numerous kinds of tangle snuggling to try.

Tangle Cuddling and Relationships

Learn the mental and physical benefits of tangle hugging for your relationship.

Tangle Cuddling for Solo Sleepers

You can use tangle cuddling techniques to raise the quality of your sleep even if you sleep alone.

Addressing Concerns and Discomfort

Find out how to handle any issues or discomfort that can occur when tangling hugging.

Conclusion

The Tangle Cuddling Sleeping Position offers a simple yet effective solution for better sleep and deeper connections in a society when getting adequate sleep is sometimes challenging. If you give it a try, you could find that you have more restful evenings and that your relationships with your loved ones are stronger.

FAQ

How Does Tangle Cuddling Affect Snoring?

By encouraging a healthier sleeping position and ventilation, tangle hugging may help to lessen snoring.

2. In a pregnancy, is tangle cuddling safe?

While tangle snuggling can be safe during pregnancy, it's crucial to get advice from a healthcare provider.

3. Is it Okay to Tangle Cuddle with My Pet?

If your pet enjoys it, you can tangle cuddle with them, but keep an eye out for their comfort.

4. Can Tangle Cuddling Help Sleep Disorders?

By lowering stress and anxiety, tangle hugging may help sleep issues.

5. How long should I cuddle and tangle each night?

The time spent in a tangle can differ from person to person. Try several things to see what suits you and your partner the best.

cuddling positions

[5195-olivias]

?????

Bro radfems are so funny what even is this lol

[allaboutyoupostnthings]

Celebrate Let's Hug Day: The Power of Embraces

Today is Let’s Hug Day, a special occasion dedicated to the simple yet powerful act of hugging. A warm embrace can spread love, comfort, and joy, making a world of difference in someone’s day. Whether you’re hugging a friend, family member, or even a pet, let’s take a moment to appreciate the magic of a hug. Fun Facts About Hugs: Hugging Reduces Stress: Hugs can reduce stress levels by lowering…

[minnieposting]

is there a word for like. the opposite of grief...?

im just being emotional over my puppy rn. i love him sm it physically hurts. was just reminiscing over how easily i fell in love with him especially since getting him was a total surprise and just completely turned my life around some random fuckass day. but in that first week i swear i was going thru the stages of grief but in an extremely positive and happy way. instead of a massive loss i experienced a massive gain?? bc i just loved him sm and he made everything sm better and i just couldnt believe wtf was happening . idk man i love gucci so much i could die im so emotional

[touching-grass-is-not-enough]

Oxytocin the hormone that you are 🫶

[clevermagazinementality]

Bonding and Social Behavior.

Microbes have been found to play a role in the bonding process between mothers and infants. Studies have shown that the composition of microbes in the gut, skin, and breast milk of the mother can affect the development of the infant’s immune system, metabolism, and brain function. This can impact the infant’s physical and emotional health, as well as their behavior. These interactions between…

[wisekiss22]

Sparks to Fireworks: How Kisses in Bed Ignite Desire

In the realm of romance, kisses hold an undeniable power. They have the ability to ignite desire, create a deep emotional connection, and strengthen the bonds between partners. Whether soft and tender or passionate and intense, kisses in bed have the potential to take a relationship to new heights of intimacy. When lips meet in a passionate embrace, a surge of oxytocin, the love hormone, is…

[covenawhite66]

A study with prairie voles bred without receptors for oxytocin and showed the same monogamous mating, attachment, and parenting behaviors as regular voles. In addition, females without oxytocin receptors gave birth and produced milk, though in smaller quantities, than ordinary female voles.

Challenging studies in the 1990s using drugs that prevent oxytocin from binding to its receptor found that voles were unable to pair bond, giving rise to the idea that the hormone is essential to forming such attachments.

Prairie voles are among a small group of mammals that display long-term social attachment between mating partners. Many pharmacological studies show that signaling via the oxytocin receptor (Oxtr) is critical for the display of social monogamy in these animals. We used CRISPR mutagenesis to generate three different Oxtr-null mutant prairie vole lines

[lov3lyl3tters]

“For Science”

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spencer has a theory. A theory that, apparently, requires kissing you to confirm.

Warnings: Pure fluff, Spencer being an adorable overthinker, lots of nervous rambling, a very sweet and scientific first kiss.

♖⸻♖⸻♖⸻♖⸻♖⸻♖⸻♖

Spencer is staring at you.

Not just looking—staring. Like he’s running a full-scale analysis of your existence, his brows furrowed, his fingers twitching at his sides.

You glance up from your book, raising an eyebrow. “Spence?”

No response. Just more staring.

“Spencer.” You wave a hand in front of his face. “Earth to genius—are you okay?”

He blinks rapidly, like he’s just now realizing you can see him. “I—yes! Yes, I’m fine. I just—I need to test out a theory.”

You shut your book, intrigued. “Okay?”

“I require your help.”

You grin. “How so?”

Spencer swallows hard, shifts his weight, fidgets like crazy. Then, finally, he looks you dead in the eye and says, “You need to kiss me.”

…

Excuse me?

“I—what?” you stammer, sure you misheard.

Spencer immediately panics. “It’s not—It’s not what it sounds like! I mean—it is what it sounds like, but it’s not—it’s scientific.”

You fold your arms, fighting back a very amused grin. “Oh, really? Enlighten me.”

He exhales, running a hand through his hair. “Okay. So, there’s a theory that kissing someone you have romantic feelings for releases a surge of dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin in the brain, reinforcing emotional bonds and—”

“Spencer.” You interrupt, gently placing a hand on his arm. “Are you saying you think you like me?”

Spencer freezes.

His ears turn pink.

His lips part slightly.

He looks like he just blue-screened.

“I—” He clears his throat. “I have reason to believe that I may… potentially… have romantic feelings for you, but I need empirical evidence to confirm.”

Oh. Oh.

You grin. “And you think kissing me will prove it?”

He nods, nervous. “Yes.”

“Spence,” you whisper, stepping closer. “You do like me.”

“I—” He exhales sharply, eyes flickering to your lips. “I think so.”

You shake your head, smiling. “You know so.”

And then, before he can overanalyze it, you kiss him.

It starts out soft, slow—like you’re giving him time to process. But then Spencer melts into it, his hands finding your waist, his breath hitching as he kisses you back like he’s been waiting for this his whole life.

When you finally pull away, he just stands there—dazed, breathless, utterly wrecked.

“So?” you murmur, brushing a curl from his forehead. “What’s the scientific verdict?”

Spencer exhales, grinning like an idiot.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “I really, really like you.”

[cobbled-peach]

love, factually

in which Spencer explains the facts behind love in a mildly suggestive way

cw: implied suggestive content, sfw. fem!reader. Spencer just yapping about biology and evolution teehee a/n: this is fully self induldgent because i love to yap about biology. maybe you'll learn something from this, who knows? a very short piece of work while i create something longer. this has not been edited <3 w/c: 900 words

‘You know, for someone so rational, you get awfully sentimental sometimes,’ you tease, voice light but deliberate.

Spencer watches the smile tug at your lips, then (dramatically) removes your legs from his lap like he’s been wounded. Offended. Insulted. ‘Sentimental? Me? Never.’

You laugh as he gives a faux scoff, only to shift your legs right back where they were. He doesn’t protest. Just lets your calves drape over his thighs and settles his hands on bare skin, fingers tracing idle circles just above your knees.

‘I’m not sentimental,’ he insists, fingers tightening in mock warning, enough to make your breath catch. ‘Just… selectively emotional.’

‘Mm, of course,’ you murmur, clearly unconvinced. ‘You apologised to my dying fern today, Spencer. That’s not giving selective. That’s giving deeply emotional.’

‘She’s struggling!’ he says with a soft laugh, head tipping back slightly. His eyes crinkle at the corners, and your chest goes warm. ‘She needs care.’

‘She?’ you echo, tucking a soft brown curl behind his ear. His fingers still for a second at the gesture, then resume their lazy patterns.

‘It’s a fern,’ he replies with pretend indignation. ‘It’s not going to be a he.’

You tap his nose, smirking. ‘Sentimental,’ you conclude, and it’s like putting a period on the conversation.

He turns toward you more, shoulder pressing against yours, heat radiating from his skin. Closem warm. Subtle, but intentional. He doesn’t pull back. Doesn’t want to.

‘Fine,’ he concedes. ‘But that’s not down to me. It’s down to science. Evolution.’

‘Oh, here we go again,’ you say, throwing your arms up in fake dispear, grinning at him. ‘Love: just oxytocin and dopamine and whatever other scientific explanation you have for sentimentality that’s stored in your encyclopaedia-brain.’

He chuckles. Short, low, lips pressing into a crooked smile. ‘Love does exist because of oxytocin and dopamine. And evolution. And natural selection.’  

You arch a brow, skeptical, but amused. ‘Romantic.’ Sarcasm. ‘Please, go on.’

He leans closer, close enough for the hem of his shirt to brush your side, for his breath to caress your cheek. His thighs shift, angling your hips more toward him. When he speaks again, its in a quiet and focused tone, almost reverent. The one he uses when explaining something complex, something fascinating.

‘Mutual investment theory,’ he begins, each syllable slow and deliberate. He says it like it’s the sexiest phrase on the planet. And maybe it is, coming from him. ‘Pair bonding kept early animals together. Emotional attachment increased cooperation – sharing food, dividing work, mutual protection. It wasn’t just about sex, but survival. And survival,’ he adds, eyes falling to your lips for a fleeting moment, ‘wasn’t easy in early hominid societies.’

He watches your response. Pure amusement combined with total perplexion. You blink, lips parting slightly.

‘So, what you’re saying,’ you pause, ‘is that biology wants us to… cuddle?’

‘Biology is insisting on it, actually.’

Another shift. His hands now; one slides around your waist, the other supporting your thigh as he pulls you on to his lap. Slow, fluid, sure. You go willingly, legs straddling his hips, hands automatically finding the sharp line of his shoulders.

‘You’re really trying to seduce me with natural selection?’ you ask, and he smiles at the way your voice is a shade more breathless than before.

‘Is it working?’ His hands settle on your back, one tracing beneath the fabric of your shirt. Up and down your spine, featherlight and teasing, feeling each dip and ridge of the bone.

There’s heat in that question. Intentional. Undeniable. Heavy. He dips his head, lips brushing beneath your jaw. It’s barely a kiss, more a breath against your skin. You hum in response, leaning into the contact. He lets his mouth linger there a second longer, then slides towards the hollow beneath your ear.

‘So,’ you whisper, ‘biologically speaking, your instincts think I’m a good mate?’

His lips pull away, but not far, letting out a soft huff.

‘Technically, it’s your instincts,’ he murmurs. His voice sounds like smooth honey. ‘Female mate choice is a primary driver of sexual selection. Females choose their partners based on traits, behaviours, physical indicators of health and intelligence…’

He trails off, another kiss pressed to your skin. You almost groan. Because only he could make Darwin sound like foreplay.

‘But,’ he adds, lifting his head to meet your eyes. ‘my instincts are screaming at me too, I suppose.’ His gaze is slightly glassy, pupils wider than normal in anticipation, but his voice remains impossibly steady.

Your hands slide from his shoulders to his neck, thumbs brushing the hinge of his jaw, feeling the stubble beneath your fingers. They thumbs maintain the gentle brushing movement as you continue, feeling the tension lingering beneath his skin.

‘Are they now? And what are they saying?’

His eyes flick to your mouth again. Then back up.

‘They’re telling me that you’re very good for my survival. In an evolutionary way, of course.’

Your breath hitches, caught somewhere between a laugh and something else. ‘That so?’

‘Mhm,’ he hums. Leans in. Brushes his lips to yours. Just a suggestion, not a kiss.

You attempt to chase it.

‘Well, I can’t argue with biology,’ you whisper back.

He kisses you properly, then. Slow and intentional. Like he’s testing a hypothesis he already knows the answer to. You’re just providing the evidence – for a theory that nature figured out long ago.

[gothmoes]

𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐎𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐚 𝐡𝐜𝐬

❥ pairing: Jenna Ortega x fem!Reader

❥ wc: 2,2k

❥ warnings: long, rambly, and self-indulgent ���� no actual ending to wrap this up, will just come back to this when I get new ideas to add.

Jenna is spoiled rotten, and it is no one else's fault than yours. She wants your touch, warmth, kisses, and attention—and she knows she will always get it.

Jenna tries not to be so needy (not really), but now that you’re hers to claim, she can’t help but want to be in your bubble constantly. That girl would live in your skin if she could.

Jenna is highly affectionate. Not only is she hungry for your affection, but she also freely gives you hers. You name it: hugs, kisses, cuddles, bites, licks (she is particularly fond of licking your face and biting you wherever she can reach, for some reason). If it means she will touch you somehow, she will do it.

Velcro girlfriend, in other words.

If Jenna lies somewhere, she calls you over to lie on her. Your weight is like a heated blanket; she loves playing with your hair and caressing your face as you drift to sleep on her chest or soft tummy. It’s a good way to bond when she's reviewing a script or reading a book.

She has a habit of coming up behind you and nuzzling into your back, prompting you to turn and scoop her into your arms. 

Height difference is a huge plus! Jenna loves to be smothered by you when you hold her, to drown in your fragrance and melt into the safety of your embrace.

She is very touchy. Not only affectionate-touchy but “will grope you as she passes by you with no particular purpose than to make you squirm” touchy.

She loves to play with your hands. No reason; she loves how your hand envelopes hers and your fingers fit together like puzzle pieces. 

Not a napper, or rather, was not a napper until she discovered paradise in your arms. Now, being held by you triggers an instant rush of oxytocin and melatonin that, coupled with the thump of your heartbeat and your warmth, knocks her out within minutes.

Jenna is kind of a baby when sick, but it's your fault. She wasn't like that until you came in and started babying her. She used to be independent and treat her illnesses in a very mechanical and detached way because it was nothing more than a setback from work. Now, she can't imagine having a cold and spending her quarantine without your tender touches. 

Same thing when she’s PMSing. The more time you spend caring for her, the better, quicker she feels.

Jenna has an insane staring problem—always has and always will. She can’t help but stare at you like you hung up all the stars in the sky; she’s so lucky she has you. Her adoration is ever present in her eyes. It’s one of the reasons it’s so tricky for her to have you around when she’s supposed to be focused. Her giddiness and the sparkle in her eyes is impossible to hide. 

Don’t get her started on your smell—she’s one of those freaky women who inhales you any chance she gets. She loves the way you smell so much. It’s like her entire nervous system instantly relaxes whenever she catches a whiff of you.

Jenna is not huge on stereotypical nicknames. She prefers to have a few significant ones for each other that you probably come up with after an important experience or memory. Hell, she even takes inspiration from her favourite songs. However, she is partial to how “Angel” rolls off your tongue, and she will occasionally slip up with a “Babe” now and again.

Jenna lives in your clothes. The majority of your wardrobe is with her at all times. You might wonder where your favourite hoodie is just to get a photo of her lounging in it five minutes later.

“Excuse me, I believe that is mine… ? I’ve been looking for that.”

“Correct. I am also yours. :)”

Jenna is a certified yapper with you. She naturally is, but most people don’t get this version of her because she doesn’t feel uncomfortable being herself around them. You are more than happy to hear her speak her mind about any topic she can think of, finding peace in how her eyes light up and excitement laces her voice when she realises she has your undivided attention. 

This woman will babble about the randomest topics, even as she drifts to sleep. It’s incredibly endearing, and she never fails to make you laugh with the strange things that endlessly pop into her pretty little head. She doesn’t even need to try to be funny most of the time; she just is.

Jenna is very supportive of you and your goals. Ideally, she wants you to travel the world with her, which is doable if you study through an online program or work a remote job.

If, due to your goals, you don’t have the availability to go with Jenna for long periods and you’re mainly doing long-distance, things get a bit more complicated. Still, Jenna is 100% invested as long as you are. 

She is a terrible texter, BUT she does try for you! You can't say she doesn't. The problem is that she doesn’t typically send text messages. Instead, you receive a constant stream of photos updating you on what she’s doing, where she is, who she’s with, what she’s eating, what she’s wearing, what she’s not wearing, etc, with no follow-up. Most of the time, she sends them in faster succession than you can keep up with.

The second common way of communication between you is FaceTime. It’s simply more convenient than texting, given her lifestyle. AND she needs to see you constantly for mental health reasons. 

When she does text, Jenna makes your heart swoon. She might not be the best at sending you a “Good Morning” text every day at the crack of dawn (those timezone differences have her fucked up).

Still, she never misses an opportunity to show you how much she loves and thinks of you. Sometimes, her messages are a little poem she came up with while thinking of you or a song and some lyrics she heard that remind her of you with no explanation other than “this is you <3”.

She often sends you voice notes and videos to make you smile. Hearing her lovely voice and seeing her angelic face is always a delightful surprise.

This woman is incredibly cheeky. She loves to flirt with and tease you. Sometimes, she does it to get a laugh out of you, and other times, she does it to get a rise out of you. (She gets a big head about eliciting your reaction every single time without fail.)

Jenna is not a great cook, even though she grew up eating delicious homemade meals. The main reason is that she simply doesn't have the time to hone her skills in the kitchen. Lord knows she tries, though!

When she makes something, she stares expectantly at you with those sweet doe eyes and hesitant smile, and you never have the heart to shoot down her efforts. 

Despite Jenna’s chatty nature, one of the things she deeply appreciates about you and your relationship is that she takes repose in your silence. She can talk until she tires but knows that she can also exist near you quietly when she needs to without you expecting her to fill in the silence out of discomfort. Her tranquillity with you is unlike anything she’s ever felt. She cherishes those moments as much as any other because your silence is just as precious.

You are the subject of lots of photos! Jenna photographs what she loves, so roughly 30% of her storage is photos of you, while another 30% accounts for photos you’re in, like couple selfies and other lovey-dovey stuff. (The rest has been quickly overtaken by Fig.)

Jenna loves driving, but she also loves being your passenger princess because it’s peaceful sitting beside you, your thumb rubbing small circles over her thigh or her hand clasped in yours with the hum of the car lulling her into a nap. 

She loves taking baths together. To melt into your body and forget the pressures of the day. 

Date nights are random and spontaneous. Jenna’s schedule is too erratic most of the time for you to nail something down permanently. Regardless, they are enjoyable, a great time to bond and let the world disappear.

You both love to explore new cities and get lost together. It’s an excellent way to discover new hang-out spots and restaurants, but you also have homebody moments.

Sometimes, all you really need is to be in your bubble, sharing a warm meal, wine, and ice cream. Either way, you always laugh and make out wherever you are. 

Movie nights CONSTANTLY. If they’re not your thing, then they’re simply something you do to indulge Jenna, which becomes a bonding ritual you relish.

Jenna worries about you when you’re apart from each other. She likes to be updated when you have important things going on to avoid overthinking and getting anxious for you.

You’re her madness and peace all wrapped into one, and Jenna is not shy about showing you her true colours; you get all of her, and she expects to get all of you. 

Jenna is not a morning person. If she has a day free, she expects to enjoy being able to sleep in; otherwise, she wakes up cranky and glaring at everything and everyone. Nothing a long cuddle and some well-placed kisses can’t fix. Even when she wakes up for work, she stays quiet. It takes her a while to fully wake up, but by the time she gets to work, she’s usually her bubbly self again. 

She’s not a big spender on herself. She is not interested in things but loves spending money on you. 

Jenna low-key tries to impress you, not with her acting, because she dislikes you seeing her act, but with her outfits. You’ve never gone to her fittings because she loves to get your first reaction the day of.

She loves to make you laugh, and it's very easy for her because she's odd. She is absolutely delightful, though, and her unique sense of humour has always been one of the things you most adore about her. 

She loves celebrating you in any way she can, but she prefers to do it privately and intimately. Birthdays, holidays, Valentine’s Day, National Girlfriend Day, she never forgets those dates, and she takes pride in showing you her appreciation for you. She also loves to be on the receiving end of your celebratory plans for her. You go all out and have never let her down. (Things might be becoming a bit competitive, though.)

Jenna makes you endless playlists for all sorts of events and moods, but she gets emotional when you do the same for her. It makes her feel vulnerable in the best way that you know her as well as you do.

When she’s upset, she’s not a huge talker. The main thing she needs is your physical comfort, to know that you’ll hold her and let her soften into you, and she can lose herself in your embrace because you’ll shield her from the world. She does open up eventually when she feels more regulated, but normally, she stays in your lap while you discuss her issues. 

People know you’re dating. It’s easy to hide if you’re doing the long-distance thing because no one but her sees you, but when you start travelling with her, Jenna can’t hide how happy it makes her to have you around. You blend in easily with her crew, but a few detectives start putting 2+2 together and scrutinize you until she slips up. Which she does. It might be much later than expected, but it still surprises people. 

Jenna is not huge on PDA because she doesn’t like sharing your thing with everyone, but that doesn’t mean that she’s good at avoiding it. She prefers to keep you and your relationship out of the spotlight because you’re precious to her, and she values your wish to keep your relationship private, but sometimes, she can’t help herself. The few photos circulating the internet where you’re holding hands or kissing are all due to the fact that she couldn’t keep her hands to herself for long enough to avoid it. 

When Jenna gets anxious, she needs you. It doesn't happen often, but it does. A hug, a handhold, just you. It’s not that she expects you to automatically “fix” her; she would never burden you with that responsibility. It’s just that your presence truly is that comforting. Being around you gives her the strength to regulate herself, especially when you’re being closed in by paps or invasive fans. That foreboding feeling that triggers her to be in survival mode feels less menacing and overwhelming when you squeeze her hand or shield her from prying eyes. 

Jenna is not a jealous person, but she does get jealous. She trusts you wholly and knows you would never intentionally make her jealous or disrespect her. Still, other people don’t value your relationship the same way. More often than she’d like, Jenna has had to deal with people who are so drawn to you that they’ll openly flirt with you in front of her. She begrudgingly has to admit to herself that she can’t blame people too much, though—you are remarkable and magnetic and so breathtakingly gorgeous. She understands why people want your attention so much, but damn if it doesn’t make her blood boil.

She is very playful and such a tease, but she cannot take what she dishes out for the life of her. As soon as you give her a taste of her medicine, she simply... shuts down and stares.

𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭: @freakshow2501

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Even More Writing Notes for your Sex Scenes

Masturbation - (or sexual self-pleasure) the practice of stimulating your own genitals and erogenous zones by hand or with the assistance of sex toys, like a vibrator.

It can be about more than just achieving a quick orgasm or ejaculation.

Engaging in mindful masturbation at least once a week is a great way to relax, release some endorphins, and practice self-love and self-pleasure.

You can masturbate alone or with a partner for mutual masturbation.

Benefits of Masturbation

Masturbation is an integral part of mental health and wellness. Taking time for masturbation, even if you have a consistent sex partner, is generally understood to be a matter of self-care. Here are a few benefits of masturbation:

Better moods: Just like when you exercise, the body releases endorphins during sexual activity. When you masturbate, the body generates pleasure hormones: Dopamine, that feel-good buzz you feel when satisfying a craving, and oxytocin, the “love” hormone that results from bonding activities like cuddling or having sex. These neurotransmitters work together to reduce cortisol, the stress hormone.

Deeper sense of self and self-love: “Mindful masturbation” uses masturbation as a method to explore the sexual response to varied stimulation, like erogenous zones and personal fantasies. Getting to know and love your own body this way boosts your self-esteem and teaches you how to advocate for yourself and your needs during sex with a partner.

Improves sleep quality: The sexual pleasure derived from masturbation can also produce a pair of hormones intended to help deepen sleep: Serotonin, which stabilizes our moods and regulates sleep, and prolactin, the hormone that makes us feel sleepy after orgasming. Sexual pleasure has also been shown to increase estrogen levels in women, leading to deeper REM cycles.

Releases sexual tension: Stress, low self-esteem, and conditions like erectile dysfunction can lead to negative feelings of sexual tension and anxiety. Masturbation can feel like a low-stakes avenue to sexual pleasure and help release some of this anxiety.

Mutual Masturbation - a sexual activity that involves self-stimulating using your hands or sex toys, along with one or more partners.

If you’ve never tried mutual masturbation, there are a few reasons to incorporate it into your sex life.

To increase intimacy: Masturbating in front of someone else may feel extremely vulnerable, so it can serve as a way to build trust and intimacy into your sex life.

To learn about your partner: It can be hard to describe exactly what kinds of sensations, pressure, and rhythm lead to pleasure for you. Showing your partner how you masturbate is the perfect way to teach them how you like to be stimulated.

To break the taboo: There can be shame and secrecy surrounding masturbation. Sharing masturbation with a partner you trust can help you feel more comfortable with both your partner and yourself.

To practice safer sex: Sexually transmitted infections can spread via bodily fluids (such as semen and vaginal fluids) during oral sex, anal penetration, or vaginal penetration. With mutual masturbation, there’s virtually no risk of passing STIs to your partner.

Tips for Better Mutual Masturbation

If you’re new to mutual masturbation, considering the following tips and techniques.

Set the scene. Light some candles, play some soft music, and make sure you have plenty of lube accessible. If you plan to use sex toys, erotica, or porn, keep those on hand as well. Setting the mood in a way that makes you and your partner feel relaxed will help banish any nervousness.

Try different positions. Like other sex acts, mutual masturbation is highly adaptable. You can lie on your sides facing each other, or you can stand, sit, kneel—whatever makes you feel sexy. If other types of sexual stimulation are in the mix, stay close enough to your partner to stimulate their other erogenous zones, such as lips, breasts, ears, or nipples.

Masturbate as foreplay or as a finisher. Showing your partner what you can do on your own can serve as foreplay, leading to arousal and other types of sex. Mutual masturbation can also be a low-pressure way to reach orgasm together—or relax after more physically demanding positions. You can also use mutual masturbation as a way of taking a break if you or your partner feels overstimulated.

Take it slow. If you masturbate quickly when you’re on your own, try masturbating in slow-motion with your partner. Take time to enjoy the process, and experiment with new techniques in the comfortable, intimate atmosphere you create with your partner.

Vibrator - a vibrating tool used for external and internal sexual stimulation, whether by penetration or application to various erogenous zones.

You can use a vibrator for personal use, mutual masturbation, or stimulation of your partner’s body during foreplay or intercourse.

There are many different kinds of vibrators in various shapes and sizes for clitoral and anal stimulation, and vaginal or anal penetration.

Vibrators can be rechargeable or battery-operated and are sometimes water-resistant for use in baths or showers.

Types of Vibrators

Vibrators fall under 5 broad categories based on the type of stimulation they deliver:

Anal vibrators: Anal vibrators are designed for anal play and come in various shapes, sizes, and functionality. Tear-drop shaped anal plugs emit a range of vibrations for anal stimulation and work best when used with lube to avoid friction. Some anal vibrators stimulate the perineum (the area between the testicles and the anus), while others use vibrational waves for prostate stimulation.

Artificial vaginas: Artificial vaginas resemble the female sex organ and feature an inner sleeve with a firm grip that penis owners can use for stroking. These toys are made from soft material and sometimes have heating capabilities.

Clitoral stimulators: Bullet vibrators, wand vibrators, and air-pulse clitoral stimulators are designed for clitoral stimulation. Bullet vibrators have a bullet shape and emit waves of vibrations that you can also use for nipple and anal stimulation. Wand vibrators are typically phallic-shaped with a large motor on one end that emits powerful vibrations that can be intense for beginners. Air-pulse clitoral stimulators are available in various sizes and feature a suction effect that emits air pulses that mimic oral sex when applied to the clitoris.

G-spot vibrators: There are levels to internal stimulation: If your preferences lean more towards the G-area, or G-spot—an area two to three inches inside the vaginal canal that, when stimulated, can lead to pleasure and sometimes orgasm—then a G-spot vibrator might be for you. These longer vibrators work best for those who enjoy deep penetration, targeting either the harder-to-reach C-spot (cervix) or A-spot (anterior fornix).

Penis stimulators: Vibrators aren’t just for vulva owners: Cock rings are available in vibrating and non-vibrating options and work by constricting blood flow at the base of the penis during penetrations, with or without other buzzy sensations. Stretchy, silicone-based cock rings are designed for easy removal.

Rabbit vibrators: For those who enjoy simultaneous penetration and external stimulation, the rabbit vibrator is the most versatile of the vibrator offerings. This popular vibrator features a vibrating dildo and a clitoral stimulator for simultaneous internal and external stimulation. You can also use one function at a time for a targeted sexual experience.

How to Choose a Vibrator

Whether choosing your first vibrator or looking for a new toy to shake up your sex life, here are a few factors to keep in mind:

Consider the type of stimulation. Learning what brings you sexual pleasure isn’t just good for your overall sexual health; it can also help inform the kind of vibrator you might enjoy. Pinpoint the precise sensations you want to amplify and research which vibrators fit the bill. If you prefer clitoral stimulation, consider a toy that focuses on this area, like a bullet or wand. For g-spot pleasure, try a g-spot vibrator specifically designed to stimulate the area.

Look for non-porous materials. Avoid porous materials like jelly-based latex or rubber, polyvinyl chloride (PVC), thermoplastic rubber (TPR), or thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), which can trap and harbor bacteria, even after cleaning. Look for silicone, stainless steel, or ABS plastic-based vibrators: They’re safe, easy-to-clean, and come in hybrid options, like silicone-stainless models that offer a different sensation than soft, malleable silicone ones.

Think about setting and style. Look for a vibrator that complements your sex life, not complicates it. If you typically masturbate in the shower, look for water-proof vibrators. If you’re new to sex toys and want to start slow, try a palm-sized vibrator and work your way up to the more complex toys like rabbits.

How to Use a Vibrator

Whether exploring your own body through masturbation or engaging in foreplay with a partner, vibrators are a great way to experiment or enhance sexual pleasure.

Test the vibrator before using it. Many vibrators have different settings and vibration patterns from which to choose, and it can be challenging to navigate those options in the moment. There are many online instructional videos, and most vibrators come with directions and care instructions. Test out the vibrator’s different functions and intensity levels on your forearm to build familiarity and comfort before trying it out on yourself or your partner.

Foreplay is important. If it’s your first time with a new toy, you may need to get in the mood before using it. Read erotica, watch porn, or tease your more sensitive areas or erogenous zones—think inner thighs or lower stomach—to amp up the anticipation and set the ground for your session.

Use lube. Some lubricants are specifically designed for use with toys like vibrators, making it easier for penetration. Using lube can significantly improve the sensations and overall experience of a vibrator with more easy gliding and less uncomfortable friction. Water-based lube is typically the best choice for sex toys because oil-based lubes can erode latex toys.

Start slow. Using a vibrator is all about nuance. Starting slow allows you to determine the level of stimulation you prefer and how to deepen your experience of that stimulation. For example, if external stimulation is your focus, holding the vibrator against the labia, rather than directly contacting the clitoris, may work best for you. Dial the intensity up or down depending on your sensitivity level, and try applying pressure in different positions.

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