#paid programming

[vilevilescorpio]

"Proverb: Better safe than sorry? Well, I’ve grown quite fond of my life of peril and regret. But you do whatever you want."

Episode 252 - Paid Programming

[adultswim2021]

Paid Programming: "Icelandic Ultrablue" | November 3, 2009 - 4:30AM | Infomercials

At this time I was a very diligent Adult Swim recorder. The idea that the network might, at any time, air something weird caused me to record entire blocks, “just in case” on my TiVo. I would then scan through everything and save anything that looked interesting or novel to a DVD-R. For a short time, I archived bumpers as completely as I could.

I would also pour over schedules and look for anything that seemed out of the ordinary. I can’t say this with certainty, but I feel like I must’ve seen “PAID PROGRAMMING” on a schedule or maybe on my TiVo program guide and thought “wait, Adult Swim doesn’t air PAID PROGRAMMING usually. I wonder if that’s going to be something?” And so, I recorded Paid Programming and, eventually, I watched it, and a few minutes in I heard what was clearly David Cross’s voice and thought “oh, okay. I get it. He’s trying to do something here.” And that was roughly how I’ve felt about this ever since. 

This one is fairly auspicious for the fact that it's technically the first entry into Adult Swim’s celebrated (but wildly hit-and-miss) “Infomercials” series. The concept was that people watching at home would see “PAID PROGRAMMING” in their cable guide while flipping around and, of course, they’d turn right to it, awaiting an earnest infomercial trying to sell them the Phillips CD-I or something like that. But instead of that, you get something CRAZY and WEIRD and HILARIOUS! Is this crazy and weird and hilarious? Well, I guess those descriptors are in the eye of the beholder. But since this blog is about my beholding eye, I will answer: “nah, not really”. 

The content is, roughly: an infomercial for what appears to be a miracle drug, whose applications are somewhat vague, other than it making you feel better or solving whatever terrible personal problem you have. This is hosted by a “doctor” (admittedly he’s just dressed as a doctor, and refers to his experience as “36 years” ”spent hanging out in the medical community”), who eventually introduces a jingle contest for the wonder drug. This leads into clips of various entries, which eventually leads to a video of the producer of the most professionally produced entry talking about the importance of air-filtration while producing music. This leads to an extended pitch for the Icelandic UltraBlue air-filtration system, which is illustrated with a cartoon where good air particles round up bad air particles in an over-the-top, Nazi holocaust-esque cartoon.

This is roughly how the rest of the show plays out: a commercial for one aspect of the Icelandic UltraBlue empire suddenly turns into a different commercial, usually for a different iteration of Icelandic UltraBlue. The previous sketch segues into a sketch about a cash-for-Nazi-gold place, which segues into a sketch about a medical office that specializes in removing splinters (the owner of this establishment casually wears a diaper, and it’s treated as a very normal thing. It’s one of two times I laughed), which segues into a commercial for an embalming fluid that keeps your beloved’s remains fresh for up to three months after passing, so you can continue hanging out with their corporeal form. This segues back into a jingle entry, which turns into a sketch about chest-rash cream set at a gay guy bar. There’s gross zoom-ins, awkward acting, macabre premises, sexual inappropriateness, transgressive invocations of touchy subjects, and, uh, well? Maybe two laughs. If you’re wondering what the other, non-diaper-related one was, it was the racial slur. I’m sorry.

The problem is, this very much feels like the writers (David Cross and H. Jon Benjamin) are trying very hard to approximate Tim & Eric’s entire carefully cultivated style of humor. The casting of awkward, borderline-amateur actors, the jokes about consumerism, the attention to verisimilitude, etc. There’s a little more Mr. Show-style satire thrown in, but the entire thing comes off as a pale imitation of either or both of those things. If one can glean a set of objectives from creating this (other than “it’s called PAID PROGRAMMING and it’s gonna MESS with people, man!!”) one could also easily observe Tim & Eric accomplishing those things much better, in a less forceful way. 

The casting in particular is far less inspired than Tim & Eric’s; it runs the gamut of people who either seem like they themselves are trying to imitate pre-existing characters from Tim & Eric’s wack pack or at worst seem like they were poached from a low-level UCB class. Not that Tim & Eric are exactly pure in their intentions with their cast of “outsiders”, I sense more mean-spiritedness in hiring some guy, calling his character “Fatfuck” and having him wear a diaper. 

This was retroactively deemed the first episode of “Infomercials”; a proof-of-concept that, for my money, exemplifies the worst aspects of the “miss” installments in the “hit and miss” tapestry of the Infomercials milieu. Wow, what a great, non-pretentous sentence I just wrote. Anyway, it feels especially pathetic to me that David Cross had previously put Mike Lazzo on blast for taking the concept of Paid Programming and running with it. I too, would feel wronged, but feigning any kind of pride over this is, well, I already used the word pathetic. But it’s pathetic. 

David Cross is a person who I still respect and think can be brilliant. I even watched a few of his new video podcasts on YouTube. It was nice, like checking in on an old friend. Cross is one of those guys who, when many people discover him and become fans, seems impossibly funny and almost infallible. The more you become familiar with the whole package, the more you realize that he’s a pretty regular guy, who is capable of turning out bad work. He’s also not a particularly friendly person, and can rub people the wrong way very easily. I am not trying to damn him here; I find him to be uncomfortably relatable. Many of his flaws are also my flaws. I should basically be best friends with him. Unless he reads this, that is.

An illustrative example of his humor to me is the embalming fluid sketch. In it, a man uses it on his wife, who dies of a splinter. They both lay in bed, and he takes her hand, puts it in under the covers, and uses it to jack himself off with. I’m not knocking it for any other reason that I just found it to be not particularly funny; it’s an easy vulgar laugh.

A sketch from Mr. Show featured a similar gag; a riff on the song Monster Mash about a guy who is working through a traumatic mental breakdown from experiencing this horrifying monster party. While he’s confessing some sexual encounter or something, we cut to an “expert” who has been seen in talking-head segments watching this footage, furiously masturbating. I recall Cross proudly inserting this joke into the sketch, noting the big laugh it gets from the studio audience, despite apprehension from the other writers. Even as a teenager, I remember seeing that and thinking “I could do without that joke”. It’s too easy, and it just makes ME want to masturbate.

The episode ends (after a sketch set in a gay bar that already felt stale in 2009) with the “doctor”/host ominously talking into a wrist microphone that “phase one is complete”, and then it cuts to a “To Be Continued”. I reread the back-and-fourth between Cross and Lazzo, and he actually does mention his plans for the series arc: it’s aliens. Cool!

I don’t mean to minimize the Lazzo-theft accusations or imply that they aren’t valid. I also don’t mean to imply that David Cross is completely in the right, either. If I were in either of their shoes I’d feel like the other guy was slinging at least a little bit of bullshit at me. Cross’s specific gripe is that he pioneered the concept of airing the thing at 4AM with a deceptive title, which does make a little sense. Lazzo’s defense is tenuous at best, and sorta clouds that main issue.

But, I don’t know. It does sorta seem like the kind of idea a lot of people have had, but then deemed impractical. I’m sure other people have thought “wouldn’t it be cool to air a parody infomercial at the time actual infomercials air?” I guess I can’t think of anything else that’s really done that. The closest I could come up with were tongue-in-cheek infomercials that behaved like parodies of infomercials, but actually were unironically selling something. In 2003, The Ben Stiller Show came out on DVD, and they produced an infomercial called “Wake Up Your Smile”. The Beastie Boys did one in 1998 for Hello Nasty. Mystery Science Theater did one in 1996 hawking their mail-order VHS tapes. Hell, Adult Swim did actually produce an infomercial for Williams Street records, as noted on this blog. It sorta seems like the ingredients were all right there, man. You know?

Mr. Show did a fake infomercial too, as a best-of special for season one. Damn. I guess David Cross really did invent this shit.

MAIL BAG

handbananad writes:

I am so genuinely sorry you're stuck in titan maximum hell. At least it's almost over? Is it almost over? Was this one of those early 2000's shows with a 40 episode season and you're going to be here forever?

Thank you. The show is only 9 episodes (including a half-hour first episode), so that's a silver lining. But yeah, it feels much longer. But it is nice having a show that I can outwardly hate and gloss over defiantly. It also makes me appreciate Robot Chicken more, which is tough to do.

On the other hand, I'm real glad to be watching Venture Bros, but those write-ups are much more demanding. What's a blogger with readers in the single-digits to do?

[checkthefeed]

[ Paid Programming's "Wishing Well" ]

Having hit us hard last year with 2023’s “Tuesday's Child” Paid Programming is back at it again with “Wishing Well” a continuation of their onslaught in the streets.

This time crossing the border due to low snow and making the most of a inconsistant winter.

Starring Quin Ellul, Jesse Jarrett, Marty Vachon, Dan Bubalo, Stefan Alvarez, Nick Elliot, Adam Franks, Tanner Davidson, Austin Johnson, Kim Cote, Mike Rosart and friends.

Filmed by Alex Bielawski, Jesse Jarrett , Quin Ellul and Pat Quesnel

Edited by Jesse Jarrett & Quin Ellul Thumbnail photo by Liam Glass

[leonardcohenofficial]

the two biggest pieces of advice that i would express to anyone thinking about grad school are

1) do not pay for grad school. i am dead serious on this one. this was the number one thing every single professor i had in undergrad expressed to me. going to a grad school that doesn’t offer tuition remission or teaching or any type of funding so you can complete the work you need to do is not worth going into debt for don’t do it don’t do it don’t do it because—

2) besides the obvious (the degree) grad school offer you two things (ideally they offer both); training or access. by training i mean rigorous high level hands on practice honing your skills in your chosen field; by access i mean connection to people/institutions/funding to help support whatever work or research you’re doing. (i think that at least in the arts broadly speaking, it is easier to find training than it is to gain access.) i think it’s extremely important to weigh out what you’re getting out of a specific program and decide not only what is more important to you but also what opportunities a school is offering you

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories - Halloween Town Sora & Riku

[yekokataa]

rip walt disney, i know you would have loved using ai to eliminate jobs

[gragam]

i think you guys like this beetle

[erinwantstowrite]

i feel like there is a lack in proper Krita tutorials, which is crazy because Krita is a really good program?? does anyone need a Krita tutorial?? do i gotta figure out how to do that?

[sisyphusj]

one thing about me is i will accidentally stumble into making the dumbest cosplay of all time for the bit. anyways here’s puppy evan kelmp.

@quiddie never stop making magic. you guys absolutely rule thank you for never failing to make me smile and laugh

[mediumgayitalian]

bruh i’m so annoyed. spent 2 hrs on a script for my programs, pushed hard as fuck to get it done and had to SPEED to work to make it on time, bc the script took so long, sent it to my boss to print and does she print it? no. she is nowhere to be found. and of course i do not have a print code. so. guess i’m just doing something fucking else i guess.

[astriiformes]

I still haven't heard back from the last PhD program I applied to which is starting to feel a little ridiculous, but it does put me in the weird plausible deniability zone of being like well, unfortunately I didn't get in anywhere this cycle, guess I'll have to try again....... unless?

[hoofpeet]

This stupid bozo paid for Clip studio before realizing that you can't have more than 24 frames in an animation on this version and just transferring the pirated version I had from my old laptop

[alumirp]

The Good Citizen

An AU where Izuku is just an ordinary boy. He never meets All Might and has his application for Yuuei's entrance exam rejected because of his quirkless status. He still wants to be a hero, but then again, he's just a normal kid with a mom who works two jobs, and since he failed to get into his dream school, he still has to get into another one, he doesn't have time. to go to the gym or learn to fight, or whatever. And yet, he wants to be a hero, so he grabs a pair of old skates and a stick. And he sneaks out the window at night, intending to be a vigilante.

But like a normal boy, he's a bit of a coward, so when he encounters his first crime, instead of getting involved, he calls the police. He calls the police and hides and is delighted when a police car arrives a few minutes later and does its job. And then he repeats that, goes out, finds a crime and calls the police. And repeat. And the next time, he identifies himself as "Good Citizen" when the person on the line recognizes his voice. And the name sticks. And Izuku keeps it, thinking of it as a way to keep his identity safe. But one day, 'The Good Citizen' calls the police on a group of men beating up a guy. And next he stops a man from harassing a girl.

The mens who beat the guy are part of a powerfull gang and their high-rankers discovers that the person who reported them was the same person who has been making several reports. The old man who harassed the girl was an important member of the HPSC, whose arrest creates a huge scandal

With this he successfully angers the villains and the HPSC all at once. Next week there's a bounty on 'snitch's head. And an arrest warrant for the vigilante who is 'an enemy in the making for the society of heroes'.

Then a race begins, villains and heroes mobilizing to kill/arrest one (1) well-intentioned green bean.

And, out of nowhere, this all becomes Aizawa Fucking Shota's problem.

[sarellathesphinx]

Now that I’ve ridden the Lightcycle Run a couple times, I find it very interesting that beyond my obsessed person nitpicks on details from like, a fan standpoint (circuit patterns for main characters being recolored arbitrarily into generic programs, Rinzler being the only named program from the films and even then his program number is wrong, the queue being frankly a bit boring)……

They also pretty clearly tried to distance the ride from the story of the film in what I view as an attempt to capitalize on the aesthetics and ignore the actual storyline or characters. Possibly to make it easier for Ares to come out without much critique, as despite Jeff’s presence it feels rather divorced from the first two films from what I’ve seen in press stuff. Which I think is a big shame