#parenting fail

[agentrouka-blog]

This is such a small thing to be mad about, but Ned being all 'oh sansa you can't go to the tourney' in AGOT pissed me off. What do you MEAN you won't 'subject your daughters to this folly???' It's a tourney, fool! A special event that Sansa (as a highborn lady, daughter to the Hand AND the prince's bethrothed to boot!) would've been required to go anyways! It would've been an insult and weird af if she DIDN'T go! Just because you know its a waste of money doesn't mean Sansa has to suffer for it, the tourney's gonna happen no matter what, just let her have fun.

Gah, the more I think about the Sansa Ned stuff in AGOT the more I'm surprised Sansa didn't throw a tantrum especially at that age. Girly has more grace and patience than I ever could have.

It's painful to witness.

It's politically inept, making himself invisible to the public in this way. He's isolated at court. There's already been a violent incident and a rift between him and the king and the Lannisters. He won't attend the tourney in his own name. He's making them all look weak and irrelevant. He gathers no support, and the common people gobble up the idea that he commited treason later on. He made Sansa's life his cover story, he killed her wolf over it, and he's not even taking it seriously for his investigation, let alone its impact on Sansa at any level.

It's also so emotionally myopic, disregarding the one thing Sansa gets excited about since he murdered her wolf. Instead of trying to repair their relationship - instead of realizing it needs repairing! - he keeps taking his general frustration out on her. So slow to let her enjoy something, so quick to yell.

The Hound literally threatens to kill her at the end of the first day of the tourney. The daughter of the Hand of the King. Betrothed of the crown prince. Threatened and manhandled by an alcoholic child killer. Alone outside at night with no witnesses, no protection. Because she had no escort but one unreliable septa. At an event of this scale. And Ned couldn't be bothered to go with her. That's how weak they are.

And she never even tells Ned. Because she already internalized he would find a way to yell at her about it, cut her off from something she cares about, or maybe not do anything at all anyway.

And just look at when she actually does throw a tantrum out of sheer despair of being treated like an object. Does he finally try to talk to her, just once, just for a second? Of course not. He has important business to do walking into a trap.

The man set out to do a thing (solve Jon Arryn's murder), he was so determined that he sacrificed Sansa at the altar of this mission in every way, and he so objectively failed at it, it's almost hard to believe.

People act like Ned choosing to save Sansa's life at the end is somehow this super noble act. As opposed to once again throwing her under the bus? Literally letting her be killed for his honor this time, instead of Lady? Yeah, he chose not to do that. Wow. Dad of the year.

[some1s-sista]

Driving home yesterday from a birthday lunch with my boy when 🎶Sweet Child ‘O Mine🎶 comes on the radio and the boy pipes up from the back seat “Hey! That’s the guy from the Capital One commercial!”

Cut to me, whimpering in the passenger seat.

[leche-flandom]

Photos reminded me today's the anniversary of the bubble pond disaster, which birthed my header image.

A text exchange with my sister in the immediate aftermath:

[faerieforestcat]

I always used to think that I could find protection with my big sibling.

Whenever out "parents" screamed at me, blamed me, insulted me, whenever I fought with someone, or was just having a bad day in general and felt like shit.

I thought I could confide with my sibling and tell them my problems, how I felt and ask them their opinion. And when their answer was something apathetic or told me "not now, tell me later, it was your fault, what do you want me to do? I can't do anything, suck it up", but that time later they gave the same answer, I tried to justify it. "Maybe they're busy, maybe it's not a good time, maybe they have a good reason".

It's incredible the ability the mind has to try to justify actions and edit memories to make it seem as someone else is not a bad person, just to hold on to hope.

But it's more incredible the huge whiplash the realization gives you that you didn't only have abusive "parents", but an absent sibling. Even worse when that sibling it's the "golden child".

Growing up thinking that even if you didn't have good parents, at least you had a good big sibling, who would protect and care for you, only for it to turn out that you didn't even have that:

In the end, you were alone all this time.

[wierdshenanigans]

You ever hear the tone of your parent's voice and already know the neighbours are gonna be wondering what we're all screaming and arguing about this time?

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Did my kid lose a tooth today? Yes

Did I accidentally throw said tooth away? Also yes

Did my kid cry because the tooth fairy wouldn’t have physical evidence to prove said lost tooth? Very much so

Was I forced to dig WAY too the bottom of the garbage to retrieve the tooth? I think we all know the answer to that 😐

[unremarkablehouse]

Random thought; what if Teena Mulder knew Samantha was with CSM post abduction? What if she’d visited her? Did both of Mulder’s parents know she died at 13? Did they really just let Mulder believe it was his fault she was abducted leading to dedicating his life to finding her, just to avoid an awkward conversation with him?

These people belong on Maury Povich!

[lord-soth-dk]

[thebillyengland]

At first, I thought this was a comedy skit, but no, it’s for real. 

This is a prime example why we can’t rely on Generation Z / Millennials & why they’re hated. The self-entitlement is outlandish, morose and embarrassing. The truth of the matter is, as a culture, we have made it too easy to Gen Z / Millennials. They don’t know how to take responsibility, nor do they have the slightest inkling or hard work, persistence, perdurance and gratitude. 

America has become soft -- too soft, we are doomed, as a nation, if not for the grace of God, if this type of behavior continues.

Can you imagine if this person was in the US Military...a Surgeon...a Police Officer....or in any other job / career where crucial decisions are made? Think about that.

To this young, sexually confused woman, who’s parents failed her, (yes, “he” is biologically “she” -- yet another reason why we are doomed, the mental-illness with Gen Z is off the charts) I say salted caramel latte, real tears for salt and make it snappy.

[ineffectualdemon]

I just discovered that its really important to put the febreeze on a different table than the detangler spray

In related news: I accidentally sprayed my kids head with febreeze

[agentrouka-blog]

I feel the child who was most affected by Ned's death was Sansa. Her entire outlook on life changes. There is a clear separation between her thoughts before his death and those after his death. She herself makes that distinction many times. For example, she loved Joffrey and admired and trusted his mother BUT that had been before he cut off her father's head. She thought the sept of baelor the most beautiful building BUT that had been before he killed her father on its steps. Her head was full of songs and stories BUT that had been before her father's death.

I'm not sure I would quite agree with that.

Sansa isn't actually fully herself for most of the time we see her in the first book. She was always a dreamy and idealistic child, but what she is from her second chapter on is deeply traumatized already.

There's a clear phase in AGOT between the Trident Incident, where Ned killed Lady, and Ned's arrest and execution where Sansa is reeling and trying to deal with the trauma of what happened by herself, and slipping into deeper and deeper inner conflict with Ned. Reframing what happened, shifting blame more than once, shutting down her normal emotional responses, growing more morbid, more volatile... all of that is already due to a devastating event, a break in her relationship with her family, and the neglect to address it directly. She wasn't just somehow naturally incapable of perceiving reality, she was a child trying to cope with the realization that her father would not protect her. That's not her "regular self".

She comes closer to being able to voice her true anger (toward Arya), but keeps being shut down by Ned, and her one true defiance coincides with his arrest, where she immediately shifts gears into trying to control an uncontrollable situation - because she isn't ready to acknowledge a potentially even worse horror happening to them now.

If anything, Ned's death rips her out of those forms of trying to protect herself. The worst of horrors comes to pass. Instead, she lies defeated in her room, contemplating suicide, fading in and out. She returns more to her true self after she is ripped out of this grieving stasis, but I wouldn't say that she is fundamentally changed by Ned's death alone. Ned did that himself earlier. Or rather, he helped.

Sansa never has the inner resources to even address this conflict again. It has been buried in her grief. For now.

The only other Starkling to have a similar unresolved conflict with Ned is Jon, who had come closer and closer to acknowledging his anger at Ned for never speaking of Jon's mother. His reaction is closer to Arya's, wanting to rush in and fight, regardless of the futility, until he is stopped. And he too buries his anger at Ned in the aftermath, alongside his longing for the knowledge of his mother. For now.

But if we are talking fundamental change, my vote goes to Robb. He was just a boy trying to do his duty before it happened. He married his sword the day he learned of his father's death and he never looked back. He is the child most affected by Ned's death itself.

[saffity]

My toddler has been learning about not taking things that aren’t hers and sharing and has been doing quite well with it.

Recently I had made myself some toast with jam my brother had made and given to me.

As I sat down she sweetly asked if she could have a bite. As she took it the following conversation occurred.

3 year old: what’s that on it? /takes bite/

Me: that’s uncle g’s peach jam

3: /gulps the bite and looks at me with the utmost betrayal/ Mommy! Mommy! You put. That. Down! That’s uncle g’s jam!!!

Me: /proceeds to attempt to explain the difference between possession and creation to a toddler/

[aspirationallyeldritch]

news flash: undiagnosed neurodivergent mother fails to get her neurodivergent children diagnosed until much too late, because it all seems completely normal to her

[didee-anne]

I’m throwing in the towel and tapping out. This is ridiculous and I’m over it.

[foreverthirty1]

Don’t shit on your kids’ music, it’s gross and lame. Most of our grandparents thought the Beatles were trash. Most of our parents thought Nine Inch Nails were talentless. Don’t be that 30 something, is all I’m saying. If your kids are listening to Nazi indoctrination yeah you may wanna step in but otherwise get some noise cancelling headphones and let it ride. It’s us, not them. We’re the problem now.

[fauxnormal]

Parent fail #46- texts from the teacher

Hello. Please support me by making sure TinyRhino doesn’t bring candy in his backpack. He was having candy during breakfast time.

He then proceeded to offer candy to other kids, saying the school breakfast 'was for chumps'.

This is not appropriate behavior.

Thank you.