#pastoral care

[theexodvs]

Since I go to the bathroom standing up, if I’m talking to someone in depth about my fEElInGs, they better have a notebook or a clerical collar.

[momentsbeforemass]

The whole thing

“Like a dog that’s been beat too much.”

It’s been around for a while. My cousin used to say it. Bruce Springsteen used in one of his songs.

Wherever it came from, it’s a useful image if you’re trying to understand the emotional state of someone who’s been in an abusive relationship. Especially if that someone is you.

If you’ve ever adopted a dog that’s been abused, then you know how messed up that animal’s instincts are. It doesn’t know who or what to trust. It’s going to misinterpret innocent gestures, cringe or snap when you reach your hand out to pet it.

It’s going to take a lot of time and patience and love. A lot of forgiveness for missteps and overreactions. Consistently. Before that dog learns to trust you.

I was talking to someone who got out of an emotionally abusive relationship. She was upset that it was still impacting her, even though it was months behind her.

She told me that the Bible had been used against her. She could quote some of the verses that were thrown at her. One of them was part of today’s first reading – “Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves.”

The last part (“regard others as more important than yourselves”) was pounded into her. Her needs weren’t important. And with her ex, if it wasn’t important, it didn’t happen.

Even though she was no longer in the relationship, that stayed with her. And it was tearing her up.

She was on the verge of tears when she asked why would God say that?

[Pastoral care note – When you’re trying to help someone who is hurting, the last thing they need is mansplaining or a quick fix. Don’t assume you know why they’re hurting. Listen to them (what they’re saying, what they’re not saying) first – a lot – before you say or do anything. And whatever you say or do, don’t make them feel bad or stupid for feeling how they feel.]

I asked her if she had ever read that passage for herself. She told me no, that she knew she would lose playing Bible with her ex so she didn’t even try.  

I asked her if she would read the whole thing (Philippians 2:1-4) and then call me. I told her I wanted to hear what she thought about the whole thing.

She never called. But she caught me after Mass that weekend.

I wasn’t going to say anything, because there were other people around.

All she said was, “I never got verse 4.”

(Verse 4: “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also the interests of others.”)

I said, “That’s the part that matters. It’s a both-and.”

“I’ll see you next week,” she said with a small smile. One that I hadn’t seen in a while.

Today’s Readings

[sureshe]

Discover Your Faith: Discover St. Paul's Treasure Trove of Christian Books

These titles cover various areas such as Christian books, Religious books, Lent, Easter, Advent and Christmas prayers and devotionals as well as Spirituality studies including Biographies, Histories, Catechesis of Catholicism as well as Christian art, Church architecture Family communities Societies Pastoral care Popes Popular Authors Blessed Virgin Mary Saints Priesthood Theology as well as any related subjects.

Description: Take an incredible spiritual journey with St. Paul's beautiful selection of Christian books! Our library provides an oasis of learning for every curious mind and spiritual seeker alike - whether you are an experienced follower looking to deepen their understanding or just starting your spiritual exploration, St. Paul's has all of the resources to pique your interest and illuminate your path.

Unveil the Significance of Sacred Seasons:

Immerse yourself in the reflective spirit of Lent and Easter's triumphant joy with insightful books that explore sacrifice, renewal, and their glorious resurrection.

Prepare your heart for the magic and wonder of Christmas and Advent by immersing yourself in captivating narratives and insightful contemplations on Christ's birth.

Strengthen Your Connection to the Divine:

Build a deeper prayer life with captivating devotional books that offer daily guidance and inspiration to deepen reflection and prayerful communion with God.

Set sail on an engaging exploration of Christian faith with thought-provoking titles that explore mysticism, contemplative practices, and discovering meaning in your spiritual journey.

Acquire Knowledge and Increase Understanding:

Unlearn the complexity of Scripture with insightful Bible studies and commentaries, and gain a better appreciation for its relevance.

Learn about fascinating figures and pivotal moments from Christian history with informative biographies and historical accounts.

Discover a World of Christian Resources:

St. Paul's offers an eclectic selection of books for every interest imaginable, such as:

Catechesis: Find engaging resources that provide an accessible introduction or refresher of Christianity for anyone new or revisiting their faith.

Explore the Catholic Church: Delve into its rich tradition and history of Catholicism to gain greater insight.

Christian Art and Church Architecture: Explore the beauty and symbolism inherent in Christian artistic creations and architectural marvels, unpacking their hidden meanings.

Family, Community and Society: Discover Christian perspectives on navigating obstacles and building strong, supportive communities. Unlearn how your faith can assist in creating more fulfilling lives for you and others around you.

Pastoral Care: St. Paul's offers resources designed to guide and support those traveling spiritual journeys - whether facing challenges of their own or simply looking for encouragement.

Gain from World-Recognized Leaders and Figures:

Books by Popes and Renowned Christian Authors: Gain wisdom and insights from leading Christian figures by studying their perspectives and teachings to deepen your knowledge of faith. Discover Devotion and Inspiration:

Discover the life and significance of revered figures in Christian tradition such as Mary, Jesus and Saints - drawing strength from their stories and undying devotion - such as The Blessed Virgin Mary and Saints. decouvr Priesthood and Depths of Theology:

Priesthood: Resources are available for anyone interested in the priesthood as an vocation or curious about how priests fit within Christian belief systems.

Academic Theology : These extensive works offer in-depth explorations into Christian theology for those seeking an expanded knowledge. Ideal for scholars or those passionate about exploring their faith more intellectually.

Share the Gift of Faith: Christian books from St. Paul's collection make meaningful and inspiring presents on any special occasion, spreading faith throughout your loved ones while exploring our extensive collection.

St. Paul is Devoted to Your Spiritual Growth:

St. Paul's recognizes the power of Christian literature to transform lives. Let our carefully selected collection help guide your spiritual journey.

Are you ready for an intriguing journey into Christianity? Explore St. Paul's Christian book collection now!

Link to St Paul's Christian Books: http://stpauls.org.uk/book

[pastored123]

An Exercise in Clarity

By : Rev. Ed Schneider, MPTh Just yesterday I was in conversation with a church leader concerning teaching other Christians the practical value of highlighting in a direct fashion the core of their understanding about the faith they claim. I shared with my clergy colleague that summarizing my theological and doctrinal building blocks that I spiritually and practically stand on would be a…

[padrespaleale]

Easter 2012: A Memory

The morning is quiet, the city still sleeps, a Boston Globe truck delivers the Sunday papers, and my Muslim neighbor greets me with a happy Easter, which makes this morning brighter. I walk into Dunk’s, coffee regular and breakfast sandwich ready. I walk past buildings reflecting the rays of the sun glowing a firey orange, and the birds chatter amongst themselves while the squirrel can’t seem to…

[vickihinze]

“We’re Here to Help” by James R. Coggins

Our bank was offering a new savings account with a better interest rate than the pitiful amount our current savings account was paying (far less than the inflation rate). This new account had apparently been available for two years, but our bank had not bothered to inform us of this. The bank had informed us about many other new services over those two years but not the one that might actually be…

[pastorjeremynorton]

How Friendship in Church Leadership Creates Unseen Influence

Discover the power of friendship in church leadership. A journey with an Alaskan pastor reveals the unseen influence that shapes lives beyond the sermon. #Leadership #Influence #ChurchLife

Lessons from the Journey of an Alaskan Pastor In the realm of leadership, the true extent of a leader’s influence often transcends the boundaries of official titles and perceived responsibilities. I witnessed a real-life example of this while serving in Alaska. I was serving as the Youth Pastor at the time. Our lead pastor served as a chaplain for the local fire department on top of his…

[pastorkempcom-blog]

Show Me You're Serious

Letters to a State | Volume 3, No. 2 The closest I’ve ever come to dying may have been in 1980.  A strep infection had gotten into my heart cavity and I was in serious condition.  I was a Youth Pastor in those days and I’ll never forget being frighten, really frighten.  I knew something was seriously wrong with me and I sensed that it may even be life-threatening.  (I later learned from my…

[martyschoenleber]

A Story, A Point, and a Book

[cindycintn]

Introducing "A Prayer Shawl Handbook"

Introducing my new book, "A Prayer Shawl Handbook."

I started my first prayer shawl unexpectedly and unprepared, finding myself sitting with my father in the only nursing home that had space available on short notice. I knitted to give myself something to do. I knitted to give myself space to get my head around the situation and where it would likely go. I knitted with whatever yarn I had in my stash at the time, with no pattern in mind. I was…

[richardjamesrevddr]

What is pastoral care? A biblical theology of the good shepherd

  The aim of this series of four sermons was to give some Biblical teaching, correction and encouragement on the theory and practice of pastoral care. In churches “pastoral care” very often has quite a narrow reference in the minds of those who use the term. We might characterise this as “visiting and supporting those going through circumstances such as grief or sickness.” I think that however…

[aleanbh-and-lime]

Rant incoming...

Working in university pastoral care is wild, because it's like:

"Your September workload is 535% with incoming students who need immediate help. Dw tho, workload drops to approx. 390% as soon as assignments/adjustments start and remains unchanged until next September. Also, it never drops lower that that, lol, so work in your sleep to support them all and answer their emails when you're eating your dinner. But ✨office perk✨ we've given you a shit coffee machine to deal with it! We're also not hiring any other people hahaha"

Like, ma'am I cannot support all these students when you've increased the student ratio fourfold since last year. You can't give me 1000 students to look after singlehandedly and expect the same support from last year, are you mad?

How can we possibly run pre-arrival activities, attend induction talks for 40+ programmes, call every student for a chat and arrange individual meetings with them, scope out everyone who needs reasonable adjustments or extenuating circumstances and enforce these within departments, give extra attention to priority groups, and maintain any kind of work-life balance? This is terrible news for staff and students. This is how students screaming for help fall through the cracks and staff become burnt-out and stop performing, or quit.

When you treat your staff like this in the Wellbeing Department, what hope do we have for student provision???

[angelsportion]

Review - Rabbit Hole, Heigold, Kentucky Straight Bourbon, 3 Years Old, 47.5%

One of my daughters asked if I’d ever want to teach at one of my synod’s seminaries. I thought about it for a moment before finally admitting my willingness. I’d do it, but only if allowed to teach homiletics—the art of writing and delivering a sermon. I think my denomination is sometimes weak in this department. Indeed, our pulpits are brimming with sound doctrine. This is essential. Still, far…

[hislop3]

Pastoral Care and Risk Management

In 2001, the Association for Professional Chaplains honored me with their Distinguished Service Award for my work in expanding the impact of professional chaplaincy and programs of pastoral care/ ministry in specialized healthcare settings. This was (and remains for me) a huge honor. Yet, since that time, a little over twenty years ago, programs of pastoral care, Clinical Pastoral Education, and…

[pastored123]

The Day I Almost Quit

Chapter excerpt from TO BE A PASTOR What seemed odd to me was how completely I identified as a preacher, even while serving as a younger pastor. I suppose it was understandable given the extreme emphasis in the church culture at the time on the centrality of Sunday morning worship. Practically all of my training and the expression of that training was hyper-focused on standing behind the “sacred…

[padrespaleale]

Hybrid Priesting

I had my retirement plans, read all those books collected on my shelf, wrote my memoirs of the priestly existence, get in some serious bicycling, maybe even another cross-country adventure, this one from Oregon to Virginia. Like so much that I think about it, it all sounded beautiful in my head, but when it came to the doing, well, not so much. My story is probably not different from others who…