Patton: it’s April First!
Logan: no it isn’t
Patton: oh, I thought it was
Logan: April Fools
Logan: did I do that right?
Virgil: that was perfect, Lo
2K notes
·
View notes
Virgil: Hey, you guys wanna go get some D-E-S-S-E-R-T?
Roman: Yeah, dude, I need me a T-R-E-A-T.
Remus: What’cha guys talking about?
Logan: Yeah, why did you guys just spell dess-
Janus and Roman: No, no, no! Don’t say it.
Logan: Uh, why?
Virgil: Oh, god, how do we tell you this?
Roman: Remus can’t spell..
Logan: What?
Roman: He can’t spell, so when we talk about something he wants, we spell it out loud so he doesn’t get too excited.
Logan: He’s a grown man, he can’t handle hearing the word treat?
Remus: Treat?
Janus: No.
Remus: Treat?
Janus: No.
Remus: Treat?
Janus: No.
Remus: Aww..
Logan: What’s happening?
Janus: He gets excited when he hears the word T-R-E-A-T.
Remus: What’cha talking about?
Roman: Taxes.
Remus: Aw, shucks.
Logan: What, you guys just treat him like a toddler??
Remus: Treat??
Roman: No treat!
Remus: Treat?
Roman: No treat!
Remus: Awww…
Virgil: Dude, you gotta spell if you talk about F-O-O-D.
Logan: Okay… so are we having a S-N-A-C-K?
Remus: Snack?!?!
Janus: Oh, dude, really??
Logan: Oh, come on, I spelled it!
Janus: Well, he knows how to spell snack.
Logan: So he can spell snack, but he can’t spell treat?
Remus: TREAT???
Roman: NO TREAT.
Remus: TREAT????
Roman: NO TREAT.
Remus: TREAT??
Roman: NO TREAT!
Remus: GOD DAMNIT!
Patton: Okay, he’s fussy, it’s time for a N-A-P.
Remus: Yeaaahhh :)
Logan: Remus, what does N-A-P spell??
Remus: Party.
240 notes
·
View notes
Patton : You deserve an award for putting up with me.
Logan : You are my award.
Roman : You deserve an award for putting up with me.
Virgil : You’re goddamn right I do.
223 notes
·
View notes
a pretty long incorrect quote today
logan, frustrated: all of the sides are so different! how on earth am i supposed to keep track of every single one of them?!
janus: it’s easy, use their differences to your advantage. for example: humor. hey, patton.
patton: yeah?
janus: why was six afraid of seven?
patton: why?
janus: because seven eight nine
patton: (laughs)
janus: hey remus.
remus: what?
janus: why was six afraid of seven?
remus: why?
janus: because seven was a registered six offender
remus: (laughs)
(logan taking notes in the background)
217 notes
·
View notes
Things Sanders Sides Characters Absolutely Have Said Pt.2
Virgil: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee.
Janus: If I was married to you I’d drink it.
-
Roman: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.
Logan: I would say infinitesimally, ha.
Patton: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words.
-
Thomas: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.
-
Patton: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there?
Remus: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.
Patton:
Patton: *sobs*
Janus: You fucking scared him, you idiot.
-
Remy: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway.
Thomas:
Remy: Vroom vroom, come out already
-
Roman: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…
Logan: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.
Patton: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said…
Virgil: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.
-
Logan: What's the most efficient way to burn calories?
Patton: Exercise more!
Remus: Set yourself on fire.
Virgil: There are two kinds of people.
-
220 notes
·
View notes
New HC that Patton once tried to bond with Virgil by saying they should play a horror game together
And Virgil was legitimately kinda excited until
Patton booted up the game and it was Plants v. Zombies HEJAJSH
Patton: Now, I know this game is a little spooky! I couldn’t get past the night levels myself- but I’m sure together we can get through the whole game!
Virgil:
Virgil: Do- do you actually think this is a horror game?
Patton: Is it not?
196 notes
·
View notes
On today's episode - incorrect quotes for all you ghouls ghosts and non-binary hosts
Logan: I started school with straight A’s. Now I’m not even straight.
Virgil: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.
Roman: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.
Virgil: Not when you’re playing with Logan, it’s not. He puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”
Remus: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.
Patton: I think you mean cards.
Virgil: He did not.
Remus, pulling out knives: I did not.
Roman: So what’s for dinner?
Patton: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise!
Roman: …
Roman: Is it soup?
Patton: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*
Roman: Please, enough with the soup puns!
Patton: Wow, you’re soup-per mean.
Roman: STOP!
*one hour later*
Roman: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!
Patton: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there?
Roman: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.
Patton:
Patton: *sobs*
Virgil: You fucking scared him, you idiot.
Virgil: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-
Logan: You sleep with a teddy bear.
Virgil: He’s my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!
247 notes
·
View notes
I made a list of Sanders Sides as John Mulaney quotes a long time ago and forgot how Absolute Gold they are
Logan:
"I'll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, I'll die."
Roman:
"I need everybody, all day long, to like me SO MUCH."
"Everyone get out of my way, I just want to sit here and feed my birds."
"I never knew that relationships were supposed to make you feel better about yourself. That's not really a joke, that's just a lil sweet thing I like to say."
Virgil:
"Do My Friends Hate Me, or Do I Just Need To Go To Sleep?"
"I am thirty-five years old and I am still terrified of secondary locations."
"In terms of instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin."
Patton:
"My vibe is more like, 'hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I'll probably apologize to you!'"
"Ooh, ducklings!"
"[My dog] is my best friend, I give her a million kisses a day, she does not like me and barks at me and bites me all day long."
Janus:
"And I said 'no,' you know, like a liar."
"You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair."
*imitating an old gay man* "you want me to do what?"
"No, that's okay. I was lying. It was a lie. To get drugs. You know, like a crime?"
"You can go very far in life if you pretend to know what you're doing."
Remus:
"SCATTER!"
"FUCK DA PO-LICE!"
"Because it's the one thing you can't replace."
"Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks and I will totally kill that guy for you."
321 notes
·
View notes
Virgil: When Gerard Way sings "the broken, the beaten, and the damned" and when Kermit the frog sings "the lovers, the dreamers, and me" they're talking about the same people
Logan: This implies Kermit is somehow damned
Patton: What did Kermit do to be damned?
Remus: 9/11
(Inspired from a post by @/fabcreature)
155 notes
·
View notes
Janus: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.
Patton: Awwww-
Roman: That's surprisingly sweet-
Janus: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."
Logan: Ah, now that's more of what I expected.
239 notes
·
View notes
Patton : What do you want for dinner?
Remus : I wish to devour the unborn.
Virgil : Eggs. He wants eggs.
193 notes
·
View notes