#paul the pterodactyl man

[perish-the-creator]

((OOC: Well that's good at least, although speaking of Gijinka!Godzilla, what kind of changes did Gijinka!Godzilla went through as you developed the gijinka versions of Kaijus more?))

A lot of shit my guy. So much so I have to put it under a read more due to the triggering material. As always mpreg warning.

Goji grew up just barely above the poverty line which is already a hard life in of itself. His mother died in childbirth and his father practically worked himself to death and often left Goji alone with Anguirus as his only friend.

Goji is a teen parent. He got pregnant at 15 with his childhood love (Freya/Gojirin) and was later assaulted while drunk by his "cousin" Spacey when he was 17 and got pregnant again too.

He had to gave birth both times in Anguirus house due to trying to hide all of this from his father. He had to give both of his sons up for adoption as well which haunts him regularly.

For a few years in his 20s while he and Anguirus were dating they got into heavy drugs, alcohol, violence, and working alongside the yakuza. Eventually that lifestyle came to an end when Goji woke up screaming in pain and blood on the sheets only to later be in a hospital bed and witnessing the birth of a stillborn daughter he didn't even know he was carrying.

He currently has flashes of his past and tries to put on this happy façade that these things still haunt him.

[dracocheesecake]

(((OOC: Yeah, now that I think about it, I feel like Jindiao would be kind of like that guy who refuses to change his ways and beliefs and would also be very stubborn too in the Modern AU.)))

Oh absolutely. Like I said: he's a jerk, and he's very set in his ways, since he's been in them for awhile. He's not changing anytime soon.

[ben-the-hyena]

(((OOC: Just want to say that I love your art, your style is pretty unique and cool to look at! I discovered your art back at around the late 2010s and loved the art you drew, I think my favorites are probably the Blazing Dragons and Haunted Mansion fanart that you drew, but I do like most of your art, it's a fun and unique art style.)))

Wow this is very so kind thank you so much ! I'm sorry not to draw about these fandoms much anymore (or drawing at all actually...) but thank you for sticking around !

[ultramantr1gger]

((OOC: Have you thought of any other human OCs before?))

i have! not many because im not really. good at drawing people right now (maybe being a megaman fan will finally fix that) but currently i have an eddsworld oc but thats about it excluding dark. ive got a reploid oc that. technically counts hes got a human face

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

//Ok, so I have good news.

//I have my old editor back without the 30 post limit. 

//So now, I should be able to make posts normally.

//Unfortunately, the patch I used for it doesn’t affect asks, but honestly, I never had to worry about the new editor for asks.

//If you want to know what I used, you can check my main @creepercraftguy I have the post pinned.

//So yeah, we’re back in the business. I will still need one more day to get everything together, so I’m delaying the return of the story to tomorrow (I promise this is the last time I’m doing this)

//And I just want to give a massive thanks to two people in particular - @dragongirlsnout for creating the underscript and @paul-the-pterodactyl-man for sending it my way. These two saved me and I can’t thank then enough.

-Mod

[theparadoxmachine]

I need to explain why this man means so much to me.

I grew up in the 90s, actually a little too young to have watched him the first go around. But growing up, I feel like every show I watched had a storyline where the main character has to learn the lesson Be Yourself. And that's a fine message. But those characters were specifically designed to appeal to a mass audience of kids. They were everyman style characters. And frankly, it's easier to Just Be Yourself when you're an everyman and the weirdest thing about you is that you still play with Barbies in middle school (everyone did this I think) I liked those characters fine too. There's nothing wrong with Lizzie MacGuire or Ginger Foutley. But they weren't me. The characters that most resembled me were usually in episodes where the lesson was Don't Judge a Book By Its Cover. See it's a lot harder to swallow the lesson of "Just be yourself! Give people a chance to know the real you!" When you're weird. And I was WEIRD.

I now realize that I am in fact a traumatized, mentally ill neurodivergent queer woman, but back then I was a Weird Girl. So yeah good for you Lizzie, you're not getting bullied for ribbon dancing but what were my peers supposed to do with someone like me? I was reading Poe at the age of 8. I was quiet and liked fire and wanted to be a war goddess while being afraid of everything. The family joke was that I was actually from another planet. I was processing trauma I didn't know I had while listening to John Williams and Fleetwood Mac while everyone else was listening to Hansen and the Spice Girls. I loved reading about curses and cryptids and medieval torture devices. No amount of just be yourself messages from cartoon preteens was going to cut it.

But then there was Pee-wee. Pee-wee was WEIRD. His entire thesis statement was weirdness. He was the Patron Saint of Weirdos. He looked me dead in my eyes and, as Paul said on Portlandia, told me BEING WEIRD IS NOT A CRIME. When someone with a pet pterodactyl and a talking armchair tells you it's ok to be yourself, you fucking believe them. He walked the weird walk and took as many weirdos along with him as were willing to join him. And there were many it turns out.

Would Pee-wee think my love of horror and death was weird? Probably. Would he think it was weird that I make friends with moths and wasps and spiders and snakes? Yeah. But you better believe he'd take one look at my gothy apartment and put me right at the top of his list of people to call when it was time to decorate for Halloween. I'd have been on the guest list for his Halloween parties every year. Because being weird wasn't something that needed to be forgiven or tolerated. Being weird is a GOOD thing.

I have had such a strange emotional journey lately but where I've landed now is this. I'm not sure I can live for myself right now. But I'm going to do my best to stick around. For him. For Pee-wee and for Paul. Because I know he'd want me to. He'd want me to live and be weird and rejoice in my weirdness.

And he was always there. During bouts of depression and hardship, through all my health problems. His natural soft speaking voice always resonated at the perfect frequency to calm me down during my anxiety attacks. When I was stuck at home with spinal fluid draining into my brain, I played Pee-wee's Big Adventure, because it made me happy and because the dvd always restarted without prompting so I never had to get up if I lost the remote amongst my messed up sheets.

I met him in 2017. I pushed back all my social anxiety and went alone to my first convention because he was going to be there. Doing the terrible math, this would have been around the time he probably got diagnosed. I will be forever glad I went. I was speechless but I shook his hand and held it and tried to thank him, to convey without words how and why he's one of my favorite people in the whole world. The line for the meet and greet was over 2 hours long. He had to leave in the middle to get something to eat. He went to every single person in line and apologized and promised he would be back. I regret I'll never get to bring him muffins. But he was by all accounts one of the sweetest men in the world and I'm going to spend a lot of time missing him. And rejoicing in my weirdness. Because being weird is not a crime. Because he'd want me to. Because weirdos have to stick together.

And given the people I met at that convention, I think it's safe for me to paraphrase the words of Blanche Devereaux here and say, if love can help you wherever you are, you've got it. More than you could ever know.

I love you and I miss you.

[brianjaeger]

2023 Academy Award Best Picture Nominees Guide For Those Who Haven't Actually Watched Them

We’re doing this again? We’re doing this again. It’s Oscar season, and while you’d normally dismiss this annual guide as being preposterous, you also probably didn’t have “Best Actor winner physically assaults the voice of Osmosis Jones” on your Oscar BINGO card last year. 

So, here we are with a 9th Oscars Best Picture guide so chock-full of name-dropping and smug, self-satisfied wordplay, and presented with such an utter lack of self-awareness, that it would make Ariana DeBose proud.

Now, just like Han-juh-lah Bahss-ett...let’s do the thing.

Avatar: The Way of Water

The rat aliens are hittin’ the beach! Surfs up as Jake Sully, Na’fertitti and their kids, Girl Gollum, Rex, and Slimy Smurfette are runnin’ from the military police who are dead set on stealing their precious Vibranium! It’s a rough and tumble tug-o-war on the high seas when the jarheads drink blue goo to turn into rat monsters themselves and battle Jake’s kin on their home turf…er, I mean home LIQUID turf! Watch in stunning 3D as the slender monkey-mouse people hop on pterodactyls, shoot poison arrows from their mossy bows, and make friends with the scabby whalesharks of the seven seas! Stick around for the post credits scene where Sigourney Weaver paints herself blue and holds her breath for 49 minutes then gasps and screams, “Fuck you, Kate Winslet, I’m the king of the world!” Oh, she's got a waaaaaaaay of water. Don't know what it is…but I know that I can't liiiiiive without her, anyway.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

James Cameron called Todd Field to ask if he wanted to create an alliance and compete for Best Picture as AvaTár.

So far, Avatar: The Way of Water has made $2.269 billion - which is equal to approximately twenty of the 2004 Wayans brothers classic, White Chicks.

Cameron famously held off production of subsequent Avatar films so that technology could be invented and developed to elevate the experience from the original. Unfortunately, due to delays of ChatGPT, Cameron had to leverage his own brain to generate the dialogue.

The Fabelmans

The Fabelmans is a film that posits that the seeds of genius that bore Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Schindler’s List and Saving Private Ryan were planted when an artistically gifted, beautiful dreamer struggled to decide if she'd rather have sex with Paul Dano or Seth Rogan.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

I thought it was a bit much when the “Sammy” character was watching his parents make Thanksgiving dinner, and his mother said, “We have so much gravy!” and his father smiled and said, “You're gonna need a bigger boat.” Then, "Sammy" looked at the camera and winked.

I thought it was a bit much when the “Sammy” character was playing in his room with new friend, Edwardo Torres, and his mother knocked on the door, came in and said, “Your mother just called looking for you. E.T., phone home.” Then, “Sammy” looked at the camera and winked.

It was a bit much when the “Sammy” character brought his mother into the closet to show what his camera captured during their family camping trip, and as we’re about to see the difficult truth revealed, a white-bearded old man with a cane and straw hat burst into the closet and in a Scottish accent announced, “Welcome to…Jurassic Park!” And they just stared at him for a few beats until the mother said, “Oh no. Crazy old man Hammond got out again. Let’s get him back home.”

Everything Everywhere All at Once

This nominee takes its title from what Michael Bay screams repeatedly whenever pitching the idea for a new movie.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

It kind of took me out of the movie when Dr. Strange showed up, looked around, and said, “Oh, great! Where am I now?! This is truly…a multiverse of madness!”

The film has been lauded for its portrayal of the identity struggle for a particular group of Americans, those of Hot Dog Handed descent.

The second Best Picture nominated movie featuring actor Ke Huy Quan. Quan can also be seen in The Fabelmans when after "Sammy" stands up to a bully at high school, it cuts to an adult Quan wearing a vintage New York Yankees hat and screaming, "He no nuts, he CRAZY!"

All Quiet on the Western Front

The CODA team is attempting to do what no film series has done besides The Godfather and repeat at this year’s Oscars. In this sequel, the Rossi gang heads out to California to get a Pacific coast fishing business off the ground, and with Ruby back in Boston at Berklee it’s…all quiet on the Western front! 

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

The entire cast was so committed to these parts that they learned German as their language from birth to prepare for their roles.

Writer/director Edward Berger traces his lineage back to Burgermeister Meisterburger. The family shortened and Americanized the surname upon arriving at Ellis Island. You’ll note, there isn’t a single toy in the film.

In an odd attempt at synergy across its titles, Netflix promoted All Quiet on the Western Front by shooting a season of Love Is Blind where all the women were from the greater Dallas/Fort Worth area and all of the guys were ashen-faced German teenage WWI soldiers fresh from experiencing the abject horrors of war.

Women Talking

Shoes. The Bachelor. The Bachelorette. Shoes. Brunch. Guys I have crushes on. Farmer's markets. Harry Styles. T-Swift. Murder podcasts. Shoes. TikTok dances. My basic human rights are being systematically taken away by a patriarchal government primarily controlled by old white men manipulating a social media-poisoned, economically- and sexually-repressed puritanical voter base conditioned to look toward blustery insecure men as sources of power and security. Shoes.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Sarah Polley called Todd Field to ask if he wanted to create an alliance and compete for Best Picture as Women Tárking. 

The score by Hildur Guðnadóttir is moving and accents the heavy material, so then using Weird Al's "Amish Paradise" over the credits felt like a strange choice.

Sarah Polly was the voice of Young Celeste in 1989's "Babar: The Movie" so you could say that in that role she was an elephant woman talking.

The Banshees of Inisherin

Men not talking.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

The film Siskel and Ebert gave two thumbs off.

Similar to All Quiet on the Western Front, this film must be watched with subtitles due to the entire cast speaking with their native Irish accent.

Colin Farrell’s miniature donkey, Jenny, is actually a motion capture performance by Andy Serkis. 

Elvis

Vowing to carry on the plans for world domination of his thwarted brother, Goldmember, this film stars Tom Hanks as Professor Proboscis Prosthetica, in a performance critics have called "at least he's not Gepetto". But, standing in his way is Austin Butler, international man of mystery - and just like the Elvis accent he developed for the film, he can't lose (it)! Yeah, baby, yeah!

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

This film shares the distinction of being the second-most nominated music biopic in Oscar history with 1942's Yankee Doodle Dandy, a film about Dandy, the Goldendoodle who played right field for the Yankees for one game during WWII (also the inspiration for 1997 Academy Award-nominee Air Bud).

I know Baz Luhrmann is known for unconventional and highly theatrical choices, but I felt it was a bit odd to have Plácido Domingo return as the singing moon from Moulin Rouge to perform an operatic rendition of "Are You Lonesome Tonight" over a still shot of Elvis dead on the toilet to close the film.

A deleted scene shows a young Lisa Marie watching a performance by The Jackson 5 on The Ed Sullivan Show and saying, “Ooooh, one day I’m gonna marry that cute little Michael…when he’s a weird mid-30’s man/alien.”

Triangle of Sadness

Thurman Threesides is the new kid at Geometry High and immediately gets picked on by Rick Rhombus who calls him obtuse until Otto Octogon can stop it. Thurman is a rec(tangle), a real triangle of sadness. But then he meets acute classmate, Patty Pythagoras, who shows him that there’s really no right shape to be - it’s what’s beneath the surface area that counts! However, none of us could have prepared for the shocking scene where Rick Rhombus shoots Drake’s character, Jimmy Geometry, in the back, leaving him in a wheelchair.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Director Ruben Östlund needed to keep all of Woody Harrelson's first takes because whenever he asked the actor for a second shot, Woody refused, saying he doesn't believe in shots.

Triangle of Sadness is also what you can call each individual slice of pizza while watching Below Deck.

Jennifer Coolidge is not in this season of White Lotus.

Tár

In this 19th installment of the Ice Age franchise, we’re introduced to a seductive but dangerous new character, Tár. Slinking into the scene, Tár conducts attention from our prehistoric friends and lures them into her sticky web of deceit, becoming the true predator. She's truly the pits! But then John Leguizamo’s wacky Sid the Sloth finds himself in a zany mix-up where a litter of dire wolf cubs are born and think that HE’S their mother! Oh Sid what have you gotten yourself into this time! Thankfully not the pit of Tár at least! Everyone has a hearty laugh. 

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert:

Todd Field called Tom Cruise to ask if he wanted to create an alliance and compete for Best Picture as Tárp Gun. After a period of silence and no response, “Hello? Tárm?”

The film is loosely based on Sebastian the Crab’s abuse of power as royal conductor at King Triton's palace.

Cate Blanchett is said to have mastered classical conducting to portray the role of Lydia Tár. Dresden Philharmonic Orchestra Chief Conductor Marek Janowski is said to have mastered conducting himself during interviews to promote the film to not say, "Yeah, she waved a stick around believably enough."

Top Gun: Maverick

Unlike Top Gun: Maverick where they rely on the wits of human fighter pilots, I’m calling in technology for this mission. I told ChatGPT to, “Create a 100-word or less summary of the plot of Top Gun: Maverick with a sarcastic tone including a joke about Tom Cruise being a Scientologist.” Here’s word-for-word what ChatGPT gave me:

In Top Gun: Maverick, Tom Cruise returns as the irreverent pilot Maverick, who now trains a new generation of Top Gun graduates. Maverick faces his demons, confronts the past and navigates a dangerous mission that demands his skills. All while staying committed to Scientology, which is definitely not a cult.

Fuck it, close enough to whatever I’d come up with.

3 Things To Casually Inject Into Conversation To Prove You Saw The Movie And Sound Like An Expert…All Word-for-Word What Was Generated by ChatGPT:

Why did Miles Teller's character in Whiplash become a fighter pilot in Top Gun: Maverick? Because he wanted to keep getting yelled at by tough instructors!

Lady Gaga's involvement in the Top Gun: Maverick soundtrack is kind of like A Star Is Born, except this time instead of Bradley Cooper discovering her talent, it's Tom Cruise flying by and saying, "Hey, you, with the voice! You're coming with me!"

Sure, here are some funny Top Gun call signs for the listed individuals:

Tom Cruise: "Cockpit Crusader"

Jennifer Connelly: "Sky Siren"

Miles Teller: "Drum Roll"

Jon Hamm: "Mad Menace"

Val Kilmer: "Iceman Jr."

Xenu: "Alien Ace" (Note: Xenu is a reference to a figure in Scientology, a religion that Tom Cruise is affiliated with.)

As an AI language model, I am not able to predict the future or the likelihood of individual events happening. However, I can say that it is certainly possible to find love like the characters in Top Gun: Maverick. While the movie portrays a fictional story, it is based on real-life experiences and emotions. Love is a natural human emotion that can be experienced by anyone, regardless of their background or circumstances. It may take time and effort to find the right person, but with patience and a positive attitude, anything is possible.

Haha, let's...let's just ignore that last one. I definitely didn't ask ChatGPT if I'll ever find love like Tom Cruise and Jennifer Connelly in Top Gun: Maverick.

Enjoy the Oscars!

[sorrowful--owl]

((OOC: Heyo it's me! Can I request my Human/Modern AU version of the Pterodactyl Ghost taking like a selfie to his science uncle or something else?))

Sending a selfie immediately after being accepted for his part-time job

[mxliv-oftheendless]

[hannah-oc-palace]

Whoms’t’ve (aka intro)

Mutanty Oleg - 21 foot slav who is oblivious- biggest fella Pyotr - edgy man who can see futures - scar mouth Aurik - too cautious and afraid - german in a bad place Shurik - loves guns knifes and eating everything - literal gremlin man Dimitri - psychic powered braincells - smart and gay Dima - four armed and understanding - Russian Pringle dad

Monstere Zach - superhero that can go gore - the thing is himbo Hollin/Background- is attracted to bastard parasite - venom is that you? Perry - mute and can manipulate periodic elements- angry chemist Gyrill - got one leg but will ride motorcycle to you - boogie woogie woogie Brody - Zach’s smart boyfriend - too kind for this

Life of The Infected Monika - can kill in a single touch - fungus child Alex - can’t die fully -a corpse boy Icee - ice powered zombie kid - cold baby Sōdō - a transfer who hates it here - two sets of teeth Bobon - just a cryptid here to vibe - trucker hat

Sewer Life Albi - young mouse -albino and afraid Ringo - Australian rat - not the drummer mate Bayou - crocodile who runs a gang - Chevrolet movie theater Ouro - snake lady -ssslut Gata - a black kitten who’s dad has ties to the gang - pretty dirty Beta - betta fish -assassin fish Oppa - opossum - tree hobo Gruber - red eared turtle - old and sick Fonidae - toad - the loving cook

Louisiana’s Worst Swamp Marsh - swamp creature that is true neutral - chickem Willow - lil sis who is hyperactive - grass hair

A Ship Named Canis Cameron - perky assistant-  so no legs? Viverr - trained fighter -false cat boy Deapodia - geologist digger bee - bee movie Piet - abstract being who changes form - too cool for reality Bravo - android genreal - robo dad Etor - shark boy/girl who is talking a lot - glass shark Löward - the medic is filled with bromine and love - he’s you're bro(mine) Fabaria - calm until not -nerd plant Visin - psychic mechanic - eyes

Dork-asaurus Marc - brontosaurus who’s had enough bs - tired and French Opal - sweet mosasaurus - proper lady Roger - rude ass pterodactyl - piss rights

False Myths Xaoc - god of chaos, death and the sun - kill and murder Nadzor - god of order, life and the moon - business official Sherman - just a teen vampire - pastel vamp Tsyalo - god of neutrality and maybe weed - seedling emoji

Branded With Magic Sunglasses Lady Shades - brash and arrogant warrior - red tat Lord Shades - engineer who is kinda dumb - yellow tat Little Shades - vibrant fashion designer - blue tat Commerce - an ai that said bastardly deeds time - Static chatter Perfect Shades - resident hot bad guy - fake tat

Defenders of Nothing Oliver - Paladin who is trying his best -nervous but chaotic Adira - Ranger girls who say bruh - woodland child Mendax - demon of lies - fire pants

The Many Cases of Doodleopolis Detective Doodle (Marcel) - The detective around here - coffee addict Marco - Marcel’s brother - asshole on main Miss Jubilee - Marcel’s coworker -berry nice Molly - ghost working at a cafe - waitress under stress Dr Ottipu - doctor that is an octopus - stethoscope in water

Welcome to Louksen Marmy - a sweet antler baby - just a boy Fay - quiet and listening always - blind poet Dooper - dog snake who cannot talk - pubby Gora Fiddle - works with her mom- hardly working Samson - neighborhood old cook - cranky candy cane Kyle - a radical god -surfs up mortals Sean LeFuef - in places he shouldn’t be - abandoned

The Deadly 7 Ryan - rager - guitar Creed - mr crabs but subtle - producer Anthony - eats their feelings - tech Solone - bored of everything - drums V- punk girl gets envious of everyone- keyboard Paul - has five mirrors -bass Lucy - she kisses and tells - lead vocalist

OOC - Me the girl who said this was a good idea - boo boo the fool

[perish-the-creator]

((OOC: Ah, okay. So Mothra is the bad mom then? How'd Gijinka!Godzilla react to this if he finds out that she was a bad mom?))

Goji found out about Leo before he and Mothra officially got married.

During this time Goji's two children that he gave up for adoption (Minilla and Jr) had grown old enough to be able to reach out to them. So he wasn't too upset that she had a child from a long time ago.

The problem came when he got to meet Leo and they had a one on one conversation.

Leo basically explained what he went through as a child and that kinda made Goji have a breakdown.

They got into a fight about it where every time Mothra tried to make a counter argument, Goji whipped out the economics argument and pointed out that she was rich and there was no need for Leo to have grown up the way he did.

They made up, of course, and got married a little bit later, but yeah there are moments where Goji wonders if one day she'll say "fuck it" and leave him and their life together.

[andie-cake]

can we hear more about pauls digimon?

Gray the Monodramon is very much unlike his Tamer in that being in one place all the time bores him, and that he wants to explore outside of Hatchetfield. Unfortunately, Paul can't really take Gray out in public outside of his Digivice (barring emergencies), because a little pterodactyl guy the size of a six year old human would draw some unwanted attention.

He's also very plucky and carefree, another area where he and Paul clash bc Paul is a Very Anxious Man. His fascination with even the most mundane aspects of the human world helps Paul realize that he sort of takes that kinda stuff for granted. Helps him appreciate life more.

And finally Gray- like every Digimon, loves food a whole lot. He inherits Paul's liking for cheese, sharp cheddar and pepperjack being favorites of his. He likes pretty much any seafood, Paul finds himself making a lot more tuna sandwiches than he did before meeting Gray. As for beverages, he does not understand Paul's taste for black coffee, he thinks it's bitter and terrible (he's right). But he does like juice boxes, apple juice specifically.

[ben-the-hyena]

(((OOC: Yeah, my bad on that. I thought it was a Modern AU on the Blazing Dragons game. Although going back on Modern AU!Loungealot, yeah Draco's Modern AU!Kai wouldn't really stand him and might get along with some of the other dragons if he ever met them.)))

To be fair I don't know, Kai is a villain but I suppose only @dracocheesecake would know better I am not familiar enough with her take

However I must just warn you, I do not like small talk asks, either it's in private messages or everything once in a big ask, then it feels like spamming. Just telling you !

[ultramantr1gger]

((OOC: Is the reploid OC a hero or a villain?))

hes not maverick but hes not really a fighting to save the world type. he just kinda stays and farms. or he tries to cuz theyre all underground hes trying his best hes a bunnyboy he needs his carrots man

[northseth]

short trip home  (part 2—west of the divide & back)

Two famous movies produced before Technicolor became standard, when it remained costly and labor-intensive—The Wizard of Oz (1939) and The Picture of Dorian Gray (1945)—still made strategic limited use of it: in Oz (at length) as the vivid dyes rendering Dorothy’s polychrome dreamland; in Gray as the jolt bringing us face-to-face with Dorian’s corruption and cruelty.

Audiovisual entertainments are now so immersive and realistic that it’s hard to gauge what impact the selective use of color once may have had on movie audiences familiar only with black-and-white. Yet both films’ technique came to mind as I drove from east to west over Rogers Pass—from dry, late icebound winter into full-blown mountain spring. I weighed switching to color for the second half of this post.

That would have strained an already slight parallel. But the greens of the meadows and forest floors along the Blackfoot Valley did rival the John-Deere-tractor hue of the Wicked Witch of the West’s face. And the unidentifiable roadkill emerging here and there from the ditches’ receding snows could have resembled (since it was already on my mind) Dorian’s vile portrait-corpse.

The Blackfoot Valley has less idiosyncratic ties to cinema with Robert Redford’s A River Runs Through It (1992), the movie based on the title novella of an autobiographical collection by Norman Maclean, a retired Shakespeare professor from the University of Chicago, who had grown up in Missoula. The film doesn’t come close to conveying the story’s wonder and laconic pathos, I’ve always thought. The collection, never promoted, and published by an academic press since no commercial publisher would touch it, was in my teens a dog-eared parable passed around among fly-fishing family and friends, who took it to heart before it grew widely famous (although my paternal grandfather, an ardent fly-fisherman and churchgoer, like the author’s father, found it scandalous).

The Big Blackfoot River comprises the healing waters that course through the story, though other streams make appearances too. The Blackfoot is “multitudinous,” “gossamer,” “electrically charged,” and above all “beautiful”: a bestower of glory and haloes; a shadow-maze, an oracle, a cipher. It’s the timeless current that recalls for Maclean his brother, Paul, and helps him come to terms, imperfectly, with Paul’s bewildering character and at last his murder.

                   The North Fork of the Blackfoot River (web photo)

In July and August, the Blackfoot pours like molten crystal through long, at times suddenly sharp, curves, tinged emerald in its channels and holes. But in mid-May this year it raged down in such muddy volume that its rapids’ usual din fell to a whisper—an unnerving sign of power and mass—and it flooded flatter parts of the valley floor in shining swaths. I wondered how the fabled trout within it were surviving such forces.

At various points, Highway 200 and the river diverge, to cross again miles further down. At each successive crossing that day its torrent seemed doubled. Near the sawmill and railroad town of Bonner, where the Blackfoot joins with the Clark Fork River, it ran as wild and full as I could have imagined possible for the river I had known since childhood.

A few miles yet further down, in Missoula, the Clark Fork surged too. As its banks bloomed obliviously with lilac and chokecherry, the river smashed through town at 100-year flood levels, completely drowning Brennan’s Wave, the white-water hydraulic there beloved of kaykers and river surfers. Norman Maclean’s Blackfoot had here become T.S. Eliot’s strong brown god —“sullen, untamed, and intractable.” 

                            The Clark Fork River in Missoula May 2018

                            Brennan’s Wave in May a few years ago

Most of the city itself hadn’t flooded, though, and bustled with the business of graduation, taking note of the Clark Fork’s maelstrom from its bridges but preoccupied with its own rhythms and rituals.

Indeed nearly all weekend the weather and setting were paradisal. The crabapples’ white profusion disappeared here and there into the snows of the Missoula Valley’s five surrounding mountain ranges. Lawns and trees pulsed green in long spring light. There were parties for the graduates and their families, smiles and toasts and a palpable sense of relief. The student house where my nephew lived stood just a block west of the campus, a neighborhood that includes beautiful yards and small mansions of various architectural inspiration.

                             Charles C. Brothers Residence under restoration

Missoula embraces its identity as a political and civic oasis in a deep red state, still retaining some air of the working-class progressivism forged through its early ties to the railroads, timber industry, and Forest Service. The university, of course, has long reinforced this culture on its own terms, as do Patagonia-wearing millionaires who’ve moved there for close access to wilderness. The city itself has bucked the regressive zoning and land-use trends elsewhere in Montana to restrict sprawl and keep the bare foothills cradling it mostly development-free. Those foothills constantly draw the gaze upward and shift with clouds and light; from the busy center of town their emptiness somehow calms the heart.

                                  Alley art downtown

                            Alchemy along the walls at Butterfly Herbs

                              In Missoula, on the south bank of the Clark Fork

Missoula cherishes its oddities, too, human and otherwise—probably none moreso than the dramatis personae haunting the Smead-Simons building, Montana’s first skyscraper, known as the Wilma.  Standing tall on the downtown-side bank of the Clark Fork, the building’s early history (available in various accounts) revolves mainly around its opulent movie theater and the Crystal Plunge, an indoor Olympic-size pool (another Montana first). Through the years chapters featuring a perfumed fountain, Mahalia Jackson, ornithomania, and David Lynch were added. Its apotheosis was the Chapel of the Dove, a shrine assembled in its basement to venerate Korro Hatto, the beloved pet pigeon of longtime Wilma owner Eddie Sharp.

Though openly gay (when being so in the American West carried serious risk) and half her age, Sharp had married Edna Simons (née Wilma), the widow of the the Wilma’s founding owner and a former Vaudeville singer. Sharp revered and dearly loved her. According to Missoulians I know, but no written account I could find, Sharp came recognize Korro Hatto as Edna Simons-Sharp’s reincarnation at some point after her death in 1954; the chapel was an exact replica of chapel where they had married four years earlier in New York City. Korro Hatto, Sharp’s constant shoulder-perching companion, lived to the age of twenty, and they are interred together, along with Sharp’s subsequent partner of forty years, Robert Sias, in Missoula City Cemetery.

Missoula is now home to several start-up breweries and distilleries, but still hosts a number of its original taverns, most notable (to me, anyway), the Oxford—”the Ox”—whose blackjack tables never close and which used to serve brains and eggs as part of its 24-hour breakfast menu. The poet Richard Hugo, perhaps besides Maclean the most famous literary figure who lived and taught in Missoula, drank and socialized here and in the town’s numerous other “cavelike, majestically slow-moving Western barrooms.”              

Stars are not in reach. We touch each other by forgetting stars in taverns, and we know the next man when we overhear his grief. Call the heavens cancerous for laughs, and pterodactyls clown deep in that fragmented blue. In that red heart a world is beating counter to the world.

Soon enough, It was time to drive back, to cross the Divide again in my rental car (which my youngest nephews, twins, relentlessly deemed “gutless”)—this time from west to east. The flight home to Minnesota would depart the next morning at a harsh pre-dawn hour.  

After goodbyes, we headed out in a caravan. I did so with a heavy heart—the weekend had been too short, the family time joyous but jumbled, the fragrant sliver of springtime achingly perfect.   The road from Missoula to Great Falls is still beautiful, though the views eventually resolve, once over Rogers Pass, into the forlornness of eastern Montana. The late afternoon sun, falling behind us, kept out of our eyes and lit the shifting landscapes ahead. The Blackfork River dwindled as we climbed, at first only slightly, but by Lincoln decidedly. The snows on pass had mostly melted away. We sped through Lewis and Clark and Cascade counties, past ranches and windbreaks and homemade antigovernment signs nailed to fenceposts, anxious for our destination. At Vaughn, though, rather than taking the interstate where it crosses highway 200, we cut off on the road leading to First People’s Buffalo Jump State Park, or the Ulm pishkun as it’s locally known. The twilit hills and coulees glowed pink and gold. We stopped and got out of the car at the turnoff to McIver Road just to take in the sunset for a few minutes, then got back in and drove the rest of the way to my brother’s house before dark.