#penguin walk

[redrobin-detective]

Simon Petrikov really is the dad of all time.

Continuing my Adventure Time binge and I got to the Gunter/Orgalorg bits. Ice King took this horrible, cruel alien menace who's been seeking ultimate power for millennia and loved him, cuddled him, disciplined him (sometimes undeservedly) and overall sucked him into his deluded family unit. He did this for so long that when Gunter finally was given a chance for ultimate power -via the wishing crown - he chose instead to become Ice Thing. To become like his dad.

Simon dadded so hard that he turned two eldritch beings with capacity for immense destruction into daddies girls.

[rcmclachlan]

okay, so if you’re not writing the aquarium scene in the 118/217 scheming fix-it (god i love this) can you at least share what mishap and or shenanigan gets them banned from the aquarium?? (since you mentioned it in the tags i assume you picked one!)

The aquarium is Christopher's idea, because getting Buck and Tommy back together is the one thing he and Eddie can talk about without it devolving into shouting or week-long silences that make Eddie want to put his fist through his living room wall.

So if plotting to interfere in the open bear trap that is his idiot friends' breakup gets him an hour of uninterrupted screen time with Chris three times a week? He'll meddle in a way that would make even his abuela say, "cariño, that's a little much." He'll change his legal middle name to el metiche.

"Buck used to take me to see the otters when I was younger; they're his favorite. But the exhibit has been closed for a year because they've been redoing it," Chris says, then texts him a link to the aquarium website. "The big reopening is next week. If someone asked Buck to take Jee-Yun, he wouldn't be suspicious."

"Chris, you're a genius," Eddie says, a little awed. His entire body aches to reach through the laptop screen and across state lines to pull his kid into a hug, but all he can do is sit on his hands and hope his face shows all the love he feels.

A small, but genuine grin unfurls on Chris's face. "That's not news, dad."

Eddie decides to take the aquarium idea to what Chimney keeps calling the weekly 118-217 Shadow Summit to see if the rest of the group thinks it holds water—no pun intended—and is extremely offended when Dana gives him a slow blink and says, "That's actually not bad. Who came up with it?"

"Is it that hard to believe it was my idea?"

"Very."

Dana presses the rim of her wine glass to the sly, crimson curve of her mouth. With her victory rolls, winged eyeliner, and tattoos, she looks like the winner of a car show pinup contest. She also looks like an evil queen out of an old school Disney movie. At least five people in their general vicinity look like they'd thank her if she force-fed them a poisoned apple or turned into a giant dragon.

Eddie reaches into the bowl of popcorn by his elbow and throws a handful of it at her. She just takes a sip of her wine and serenely lets the kernels bounce off her.

"Knock it off before I put you both in a time out." Lucy drains the dregs of her beer and says to Chimney, "Having Buckley take your kid is the perfect excuse—she's, what, two? Three?"

"Five," Chim says with the heartache of a man whose baby is almost old enough to rent a car. "As long as we don't tell my wife that Jee's playing the part of the cutest MacGuffin ever in this little plot, we should be good. But how do we get Tommy there?"

"Short of planting a bomb in the penguin tank, I can't think of a reason Mr. Nature Boy himself would ever voluntarily go." Hen roots around in the popcorn bowl for the kernels with the most butter. "Actually, he might be thrilled if we did that. I don't think he likes birds very much."

Dana lifts a brow. "I smell a story."

"Does it smell like KFC?" Chim pops a pretzel in his mouth and chews loudly, grinning. "Once we've adjourned the cabal for the evening, remind me to tell you about Maurice."

Eddie doesn't know Nico very well—he can't get a read on the guy to save his life—but the smug smirk he's sporting looks entirely out of place. Nico takes the last mozzarella stick off the platter they'd ordered to share and puts it between his teeth like a cigar. He looks like the world's lamest oil baron.

Eddie looks at Dana in askance. Wordlessly, she plucks a piece of popcorn out of her hair and throws it at him. It nails him right between the eyes.

"Let me handle Kinard," Nico says. "I'll get him there, no problem."

To his credit, Nico does get Tommy to the aquarium the day of the sea otter exhibit grand reopening. And thanks to Chimney planting Chris's idea in Buck's head at the start of their next shift, Buck does take Jee-Yun.

Unfortunately, their paths never cross, because while the penguin habitat doesn't explode, the sea jelly gallery does, completely flooding the first floor. When the aquarium is forced to evacuate everyone, Buck and Jee-Yun end up at the Chili's down the street, while Tommy ends up riding in an ambulance with an old woman who gets stung by a box jellyfish.

"I don't understand how this happened!" Lucy shouts, keeping her fingers on the ankle pulse of a man in the middle of an allergic reaction to a lilliputian jelly sting as Hen and Chim pump him full of epinephrine and then start administering compressions.

Eddie would help, but he's carrying three kids—two in his arms, one on his back—through shin-deep water to safety while attempting to dodge all the bluebottles floating on the surface. Dana glides past him to get the next group of kids waiting to be rescued, not a hair out of place. She looks like a fucking mermaid. He's gonna trip her the next time they pass each other.

Annoyed, Lucy casts around and then asks, "Has anyone seen Nico?"

Just in time for the man himself to sedately walk through the pandemonium, two bewildered penguins tucked under his arms like purses. He smiles brightly. "Hey, did Kinard pass through here, by any chance? Phase two of my plan is ready to go."

Eddie stares at him. "What was phase one?"

He never does find out what exactly phase one entailed, but it's enough to get them permanently banned from the aquarium for life.

"If you ask me, the punishment so does not fit the crime," Nico says, digging an elbow into Eddie's side as he jostles for room in the back of Athena's squad car.

Eddie says nothing. He's too busy mentally composing the short-answer portion of his application for the El Paso Fire Department, although, in the end, it doesn't matter. He completely forgets everything he plans on writing when Athena slides in, glances in the rearview mirror, and shouts, "Those better not be penguins in my back seat, Edmundo Diaz!"

He and Chris spend two hours talking about it during their next call, so Eddie calls it a win.

[pangur-and-grim]

I am FINALLY at the stage where I can walk without my aircast, but it’s painful in a way I didn’t expect? the sole of my foot has become so tender that it hurts to walk on. it’s also texturally different (less thick hard skin) so maybe I’ve just developed soft sensitive baby feet from not walking on it for two months? very interesting

[nekrosmos]

Been at a really nice zoo all day and met some great creatures 🏃

[outislovescomics]

What if I run into oncoming traffic.

[green-square-anon]

@lemon-russ @ms--lobotomy @beckyninja

As if it wasn't obvious that this blog has a thing for invoulentary erections already. Porn logic but hot:

Lorgar Aurelian DOES wear a chastity cage like some have suggested, but it's not because of any religious reasons/obligation. It's because of being pent up for addmittedly religious reasons and has to hide his erections. He spends a lot of time in loose robes and I agree with the headcanon that he's the "biggest" primarch. And that was BEFORE the reader came along. The reader even looks in his direction and he has a raging erection. And yes, in true porn logic tm that cage will eventually snap from him witnessing something particulaly arousing while alone with the reader (like them bathing or coming on to him, or sittting in his lap...) or it will break in some inconvinient way (I looked it up and you're not supposed to remove chastity cages while erect lol) leaving him humilated and having to ask for the readers help...

Rogal Dorn on the other hand does not wear a chastity cage but he also spends a lot of time in full armor. This man gets hard from some interaction or another with his beloved. Having to sit through a meeting rock hard under his armor. You can't see it on his facial expression, if anything he might be scowling more than normal, but his men might wonder why his face is so red. (Oh poor unable-to-lie Rogal if they ask lmfao) (and oh invountary reactions like blushing).

[kitkat-sans]

IM CRYING WHY IS PROWL WALKING LIKE THAT

[blatantprinterpropaganda]

!! meet cute: i stop you from jumping into the school pond, you ask me what headphones are, and i instantly recognize you are the penguin who was staring at me at the zoo a few days earlier

[andradrawsstuff]

Waddle waddle 🐾

I’m obsessed with how Adelie penguins walk they’re so cute lol

[xofeno]

The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon ↳ 1.01, "L'âme Perdue" (2023) 🐧

[kaaaaaaarf]

Instead of a werewolf, on the full moon Remus turns into the most terrifying thing of all—his hatefuck series self.

[azirafuck]

i need to know how crowley walked when he was still an angel

[tojisun]

baby goalie in opening game

[gemshine]

Birthday gift for @willowfoot!!!

It's Wei's waddle cycle :D!

[syrupfog]

sightseeing

[coffee-at-annies]

Penguins Shirts Off Our Backs: PO Joseph

(Gonna be real honest it’s late and I can’t remember my POJ mutuals outside of @patrichornkissed and the gc I’m so sorry)