#people are way too comfortable being openly misogynistic

[weallpartyatybcpatricksfuneral]

I say "caitlin clark is the female steph currey" and no one bats an eye. but I say "steph currey is the male caitlin clark" and society

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

When I think about Pete's character development too hard it makes me want to cry. He's just so sweet and wonderful and I'm love him.

The show really sets us up in the first episode to assume we know what Pete is going to be like. He's self-centered, he's an asshole, he's misogynistic and has a very over-inflated sense of self-importance. We assume he's going to push back against Stede the whole show.

And then we get to realize he's just...some guy. He doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. Once he realizes that no one's gonna make fun of him for doing unmanly things? He gets to cool the toxic masculinity angle waaaay down. We joke that gay sex fixed him but being in an environment where he gets to openly and safely love another man fixed him! He and Lucius are so sweet together, supporting each other and hyping each other up, and their relationship helps Pete feel comfortable expressing his vulnerability.

In season 2 Pete is just...the fucking best, guys. He's grumpy and snippy in the first episode because he's missing his boyfriend. He tells Lucius that he cried every night thinking he'd never see him again. He helps Roach and Wee John plan ways to cheer the crew up once they all get back together again. He's the one who says "would that make us horrible people?" when the crew decide to ditch the cursed suit with some other suckers. He gets to marry the love of his life. He's a helpful character who cares about the rest of the crew and wants to spend time with the man he loves.

Just...fuck, guys. I love Pete so much.

[official-saul-goodman]

This is mainly my observation as a non black person watching the reactions of other non black people and especially white people to the show Interview With The Vampire, they are a result of a fundamental misunderstanding regarding the idea of horror.

in a world of white dominated hollywood horror movies that mostly contain gore and white familial tragedy and abuse, none of which ever ever include the concept of race, misogyny and homophobia, racialised misogyny, and racialised homophobia- people cannot digest a horror tv show wherein the main character is a black man who is always and forever a victim of systematic, social, and microaggressive racism. people, specifically white people, have always been uncomfortable with being shown the extent of anti black racism in a way that isnt heavily sanitised or sympathetic to the white cause. to white people, the genre of horror simply does not include race cause they have not experienced the horrors of colonialist genocidal white supremacist anti black racism. and i highlight anti black racism because it is the subject of the show, as well as being a topic that is discussed vaguely by non black people while still being the most perpetuated form of racism from a global standpoint.

to white people especially, as the people who are responsible for the worst crimes committed against black people, anti blackness is just one of life's constants that should not be addressed directly or in detail, so to depict anti black racism so openly as a part of the genre of horror is incomprehensible to them. they dont want to be shown even a smidgen of exactly the kind of shit their ancestors and peers are responsible for, cause horror to them must just be things that they relate to and nothing regarding race at all cause it causes them to confront their comfortable positions. this is the same reason why you see white people saying jordan peele's movies are 'too hard to understand' despite being very easy to understand.

horror to people of colour is a concept that intrinsically includes racialised violence, its a constant presence like a rusted nail hovering near an open wound. and white people reject this. which is why they decided to degrade and miscontrue the purpose of iwtv and call it 'just another self important show thats racist and not worth watching'. cause to them horror is meant to be enjoyable, they want limbs chopped off not the actions of their white ancestors coming back to remind and haunt them. even though horror is a genre that is meant to fill you with... horror. horror to white people does not include the politics of racism, cause they see horror as an apolitical genre (obviously incorrect when everything and the kitchen sink is political naturally).

to the people of color, it is a moment of feeling seen, to see a main character ( a flawed man a pained man) experience the horror of all round racial discrimination, to see the horror of him being dismissed and exploited by the white people around him, the moment of witnessing yourself in the other when you see Louis and Claudia being so utterly sabotaged by so many forces, the way they are pushed to making irreversible devastating decisions cause they think they have no other choice to achieve an escape from a multitude of things they suffer through, the manipulation and abuse they had to become accustomed to. this is the horror, the horror of being immortalised against your will and lack of choices you were given, the horror of being forced to be subjected to racialised misogynistic and homophobic violence for eternity. being forced to live with all these memories and no means of forgetting. all this while enduring the way a white man belittles them for even suggesting that he might be racist while he expresses racist micro agressions (both lestat and daniel). this is real horror that hits home, horror you want to devour as a person of colour cause you want to see more of this story continue, to see what becomes of this living limbo that Louis, Claudia, and eventually Armand have to go through.

and as most white people cannot fathom this, cannot relate, they dismiss this version of horror that focuses on racism as a core element from the perspective of a black man and forever young black girl. they dismiss the show as just being tone deaf colour blind casting cause they didnt even see the trailer or try to understand this show. the white guilt is a shield they use to defend themselves against the frank and honest depiction of anti black racism from the perspective of a black man. they do not want to understand. they want sanitised, digestible depictions of racism so the horror remains fun for them.

even though this show is literally categorised as horror, and has all the hallmarks of classic horror including the camp styling, the blood, the gore, the supernatural, and the violence - the single fact that the show's core theme is based around racism from the perspective of a gay black vampire man is enough for them to declassify as horror in their minds. cause people of colour and especially black gay men must always be shown as having a good time to dissuade the guilt of white people and their responsibility is establishing the systems that oppress gay black men. speak no evil, see no evil, hear no evil, and the evil is not there anymore.

i may have more thoughts on this that i'll express later but thats all i have for now.

[yuriachu]

there was a point in 2021 where niki could've so much LOOKED at certain male cc's in a way someone didn't like and they would've clasped at any sort of straw just to degrade her without being visibly misogynistic / avoid being 'canceled' . i think thats what hurt most about a lot of it. people tried to justify it with shitty reasoning over and over again when we all know the real issue is that a woman (god forbid) got too comfortable or too vocal. it is not a coincidence that era of practically openly hating her was right along the time she was visibly struggling the most with her mental health and very vocal about disliking shipping and being seen as a extension of the men she happened to be around

[thirddoctor]

I feel like with the Doctors there are common morals, things that a lot of them believe in which doesn’t ever change, which seems to be anti-authority, advocating for peace, the ends do not justify the means, etc. So I don’t think being trapped with any of them would end up being literally traumatized, though I do think it’s fair to acknowledge that some are a product of their time (I personally voted for One, not because I thought he would shout at me to make a sandwich, just that I noticed he talked down to Tegan in Five Doctors in a way I would not tolerate). But I don’t think any of them would outright assault/get someone killed on purpose. I’m not personally that experienced with Eleven so I can’t talk for that, but I do think the “he’ll call me a slur” does come from a place of familiarity with a very specific type of annoying misogynistic male nerd-type that people have definitely encountered before. I don’t think they mean that much hostility by it, they just see a bit too much of reality in him if that makes sense.

The bit with One and Tegan was actually something Terrance Dicks openly admitted to writing as an "anti-feminist gesture", so I guess he should also get some of the blame for the perception people have of One.

I don't think the idea of Eleven throwing slurs around is at all accurate to his character, and personally I'm not really comfortable with the way people like to joke about slurs and their use, so those comments just rubbed me the wrong way.

But yeah, I agree that none of the Doctors would be terrible to be stuck with. This frequently seems to be a controversial opinion for some reason, but I think the Doctor is, on the whole, a genuinely good person.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Royalism is one of the very few beliefs that I don’t understand at all. I can understand the thinking behind a lot of beliefs, even ones I disagree with, even ones I find reprehensible. Anti-abortion? They truly believe that clump of cells is alive and killing it is murder. Islamophobic? They believe Muslims are violent and/or misogynist and people need to be protected from that. Anti-immigration? They believe there are too few resources in the country, and the people who live there will have less if they have to share. Sexism? They believe the biological and/or social differences between men and women determine what kind of people they are, some of the things they determine are better than others, and people deserve to be treated accordingly. Homophobic? They really do believe that gay relationships are harmful to society. Religious? They’re looking for a way to understand and find comfort in the existential void that plagues us all, who can begrudge them that? People who believe there should be no taxes truly believe that this would incentivize people to work harder and create more jobs and then society would prosper. People who want to get rid of regulations in various industries believe that the money saved from not having health and safety standards would translate to more jobs, better pay, and a better life for employees. I think those people are wrong, and I think people who believe many other things are wrong, but if I try, I can see why someone would think that way.

I don’t get being a royalist, though. There’s no way of looking at the monarchy where it makes sense to believe people are better off on a practical level because they exist. So veneration of the monarchy is about something intangible, like a religion. At least believing in an actual religion means putting faith into something unseen, that could be special and supernatural and unfathomable. But I don’t get walking around in 2023 and putting that kind of religious-type faith into people who are demonstrably just humans.

Obviously the foundational beliefs underpinning royalism are similar to the ones underpinning religious devotion; the whole monarchy is based on the divine right of kings. Most royalists in 2023 would not use the phrase “divine right of kings” to explain their beliefs, but that’s still what it is, it has to be. If you believe the royal family has any right to rule, you have to believe their right comes from that particular bloodline having some natural superiority over everyone else’s. Which is, you know, horrifying for a large number or reasons and the foundational belief that’s caused some of the worst things in history. But if you don’t believe in that bloodline’s inherent superiority, you can’t believe that anyone should get special privileges just for being born into it.

And I know some people do genuinely and unapologetically believe that some bloodlines are inherently superior to others. In 2023, you will find some people who openly declare themselves in favour of the concept of the divine right of kings. You can find some people who will believe in any ideology, no matter how obscure or archaic. Some people in 2023 still worship Odin.

What I don’t understand are all the basically “regular” people, who would not say they’re in favour of fringe belief systems, who still think the royal family are pretty cool. So maybe I do understand royalism as a concept, I just don’t understand how it can be mainstream. How people who would not claim to subscribe to the concept of certain bloodlines being superior, who do not hold devoutly religious beliefs that could justify the ideology, are still fine with putting one family in charge just because they’re related to some people who committed atrocities in the distant and relatively recent past. I don’t understand otherwise rational people who still held unironic coronation parties this weekend (I would argue that even sort of vaguely ironic coronation parties are not great, because seeing the monarchy as an amusing curiosity misses the Disney villain-style horror of basically worshipping eugenics and wealth disparity, but people can do what they like). There���s so much cognitive dissonance going on, like that one belief can be disconnected from the rest of someone’s belief system.

I can understand wanting to keep the monarchy for pragmatic reasons. Every once in a while, the debate comes back up in CBC news about how Canada is still in the Commonwealth, and the Queen of England – now King of England, I guess – is still officially our Head of State. Sometimes something will happen in our federal politics that, due to a weird technicality, requires the queen (now king) to be informed, and that’s just vaguely embarrassing. This is always followed by discussions in the news about how that might be fucking stupid and maybe we should change it.

They’re always polling the public to see if they believe Canada should still be nominally ruled by the British monarchy, to which my personal answer is that I don’t even think Britain should be ruled by the British monarchy, so Canada definitely shouldn’t. However, the monarchy’s role in Canadian politics is almost entirely theoretical and ceremonial, and getting rid of it would require fundamental changes to our constitution, which would be a lengthy and expensive process. It would cost a lot of taxpayer money for relatively little practical impact, and I understand the view that it’s not worth doing that when our government’s resources and efforts are better concentrated elsewhere.

There are so many logistical issues with getting the monarchy out of Canada, and of course it would be much, much more difficult and complicated to scrap it in Britain (though that would solve our problem, because if Britain did the work of abolishing the monarchy altogether, then Canada wouldn’t be stuck with it anymore either). I understand people who don’t think it’s worth going through that process, so we may as well keep it.

But I don’t understand people who actively think the monarchy is a good thing, who have a positive emotional attachment to it. People who see it half as a religion and half as a soap opera. If you want that so much, you can just go watch an actual soap opera, that doesn’t drain taxpayer resources or suspend any protesters’ right to free speech. Or for that matter, be honest about the magical thinking involved in this and join an actual religion.

I feel like belief in the monarchy should be a weird fringe thing, like every once in a while you’d come across someone with this archaic view and say “Wow, it takes all sorts.” It just doesn’t seem ideal for believing in one bloodline’s inherent superiority to be an acceptable mainstream view, to the point where we need a special term like “republican” to describe people who disagree.

Anyway, I have to admit I did make a rare-ish visit to Twitter today, to see entertaining people talk shit about the soap opera/religion, so here, have some Bugle Tweets from this weekend:

[karinasgf]

is it me or the internet is an incredibly dangerous place right now??? i don’t know if it’s because i’m an adult now, but the amount of grotesque videos i’ve seen circulating on twitter, tiktok, instagram and youtube like it’s nothing is scary. and the way men move on the internet lately??? the sexual harassment comments with thousands of likes under pics or videos of women simply EXISTING is so fucking disgusting. why are people (men) so comfortable with talking like that about women? was it like this in the past too??? why aren’t they afraid of leaving straight up rape comments and talking about women’s bodies like they own them???

at first i thought it was because el*n m*sk took over twitter, which yes that site is literal HELL now but i still see people being openly racist, homophobic, misogynistic and more on every single app. hell even on pinterest now that they added comments. the internet was never really a safe place but those places that used to feel safe don’t feel like it anymore. and don’t get me started on the amount of IA photos i’ve seen of famous women naked. so fucking disgusting. and men just openly talk about jerking off to them and other disgusting shit i can’t even think of saying. i’m not inventing this shit, i saw it with my two eyes. so fucking depressing the state of this world.

[lorei-writes]

Hello, this is for the weekend party matchup thing!

So for my positive qualities, I don't mind listening to you if your venting to me or just need someone to talk to. I like spoiling people. I like to make people feel loved and comfort them when they are down or upset. I also do "small things" to help them, what I mean is that if your cold, I would leave a blanket without saying anything. If your crying and you need some space I would leave a box of tissues and some comfort items then leave the room. I'm very caring and protective too. I can get really brave when there's a serious situation.

For my negative qualities, I have mild social anxiety so when I meet new people I can get really quiet and not talk at all. This might make me come across as "cold" or "moody". When I'm really angry, I tend to shutdown and keep quiet and I prefer to be alone during those times. I can get really emotional and snap in those times too. I can be cold and say some really harsh things if people are unnecessarily rude or mean to me. I get lazy from time to time and would just relax the whole day. I ghost people sometimes, but I would definitely reply back, after 2-3 days. I overthink sometimes.

For my likes and dislikes, I love plushies. If I would have a room full of them I would!! I cuddle with a plushie every night. If I'm not hugging one, I won't be able to sleep properly. I like listening to music. I like people who are gentle because I'm actually quite sensitive, though I try not to show it. I like hugging people I'm close to. I like spending time with my friends and just having fun. I like teasing my friends because it's fun but I also make sure to comfort them afterwards. I dislike people who are rude or mean when I meet them for the first time, it makes me stay away from them. I dislike messy spaces, it makes me a little bothered. I don't like when people betray my trust, especially when I told them something important. I dislike being unappreciated. I dislike people who think they can take advantage of me.

For my pet peeves, I don't like the sound of those steel fork and spoon scratching the plate, it makes me cringe. Littering. Interrupting me when I'm in the middle of saying something.

For my relationship deal breakers, I don't like people who are controlling. It makes me feel very uncomfortable and upset. If they make misogynistic comments about women it makes me uncomfortable too. I prefer a deep and emotional connection when it comes to relationships so if I ever get a hint that the person is just trying to be in a relationship for fun, I'll call it off immediately. I prefer serious and long-term relationships.

Anddd that's it :D sorry if it's very long!! Take your time to reply back to this :))

Hello there!

I hope you had a nice weekend <3

From the thought diary...

what I mean is that if your cold, I would leave a blanket without saying anything

They must be such a sweet person. So much love is locked in acts like this.

--

You know, I think yours may be another case of "you could work with anybody. The real question is, who could work with you?". You say "I'm actually quite sensitive", as if that was something of a surprise -- love, all the qualities you've listed in the first paragraph speak of a gentle, kind soul attuned to the realities of others... And as much as I consider it admirable and lovely, I also do think it may be draining sometimes. Efforts must be matched, after all.

I think you'd do well with reasonable suitors. You know, the ones who have their feet planted firmly on the ground, who do not take needless needs, know what they want (at least past a certain point) and once together, are consistent in their display of affection. They should be considerate, and perhaps it'd do them well if they were a bit out-going. Definitely caring, preferably mostly capable on their own. Kind.

+I think openly expressed respect could go a long way here. Verbal affirmations. "I may say xyz, but my actions are what matters, so you should figure everything out on your own"? No. I think it'd work better if they told you exactly what they think and left no traces of ambiguity for your mind to latch onto.

...And all that considered, those are the kind of people we'd like to be surrounded by in real life, and yet, they tend to fall around the middle in terms of popularity rankings. Ah. It is what it is.

Suggested characters: Hideyoshi (IkeSen), Vincent (IkeVamp), Comte (possibly? It may be a bit rough up until a certain point, though; IkeVamp), Leon (IkePri; I'd put top priority on this one), Yves (IkePri; he may seem a bit haughty at first, but honestly, his facade isn't exactly hard to see through, and he's very sweet below it)

Weekend Party

[neoriots]

I've been talking about this with a friend of mine and mizkif has to have like some sort of magic spell to still have people interacting with him like he's not a 100% piece of shit that does nothing but uses people. In every community there's one of them just a huge fucking cunt that you are shocked that everyday people choice to talk with them. At least with train it was somewhat of a build up but mizkif???? Wtf is he??? He's there and makes everything actively worse no matter what yet every single person on twitch has somehow been next to him by choice like HOW.

This is why so many people just stick with mcyt because go outside that for a second it's literal hell on earth. Pokimain actually really wants her audience to just be young girls, she speaks very openly on seeing that shift in her community to being that has made her extremely happy and comfortable but sadly she doesn't play Minecraft she's actually good at the shooty games so even her actively trying to just make a nice little safe space for the girls has been hell AND IT USED TO BE WORSE. Every guy on twitch will tell you that the mcyt community is one of the only ways non cis straight men have any acknowledgement in the twitch community but they always act stupid as too why is that like it's not one of the only groups that want fans to feel safe. Only the mcyts and Jerma and that's because Jerma is the only bitch out here with a backbone to call out his chat when when they're being in your face phobic and then people turn around again going "why does Jerma have so many trans fans???? Why does Jerma have a lot of woman fans??" Just acting stupid like he doesn't do the basics in making sure people feel safe and welcomed I hate twitch actually so mad I see this conversation on loop for years now

(sorry if this is a lot and you are tired)

yeah you absolutely nailed it.

i often think of that clip of poki saying that without the mcyt tide changing twitch for the better (as much as it could) she considered quitting. like that makes me so fucking sad and upset.

not to get on my soapbox again but this is why the JM thing upset me so fucking much because if he opened his eyes for one goddamn second and stopped acting like he was being attacked for no reason, he would have been able to tell miz was NOT just “stating a fact” he is a misogynist and he was making fun of women for having a safe space on that fucking platform. and that’s what we’ve been saying about his jokes like that and from other streamers for YEARS. but no, we’re just hysterical women with internalized misogyny we need to get over. be fucking real.

a lot of these male streamers pretend to be good ally’s to women and minorities but they refuse to do the very basics of calling out and cutting off their terrible friends and associates. it makes me sick.

i’ve been on twitch a long time, and i’ve been in the gaming community online since i was about 8 so none of this shit shocks me anymore and i Know what the underbelly of this community looks like—but the fact that even the “good” side looks like this still now is just, horrifying.

[butch-reidentified]

it’s so lovely hearing about your wedding / wife / plans to decorate your house! this may sound dumb but as a young lesbian it gives me a lot of hope for the future :) very excited for you + your wife on this new journey !!

This is super sweet, thank you! You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear 🥰 I really make it a point to share openly and honestly on here for exactly these reasons - messages I get from people like you and @sapphoracle and other young women & girls saying that my blog had helped them in some way. That's why I make the choice to risk posting personal information and photos with my/my wife's face in them, and things like that, while most people on radblr are actively trying to obscure identifying details. Which, to be clear, I'm not at all shaming. They're putting safety first and that's 10000% a good thing. But my perspective is that if I CAN do these things that most women on here can't, because my wife and I enjoy the safety of home ownership, never being alone, multiple firearm ownership, etc. that make doxxing less threatening to us... then I should. Because it brings, in my opinion, an aspect of intimacy & feels more "real" in a sense to - for example - SEE our wedding photos or pics of us building connections at the women's convention than to just hear about it.

I feel like I have an opportunity to share my joy and as a result, help inspire hope for women & girls. So to me, letting people on here get to really know me and directly see into my life, it's a way for me to contribute even when my physical health issues and whatnot hold me back from more standard activism. I want to show people what I wish I'd been shown when I was younger - that being a lesbian or a radfem or dysphoric or disabled or whatever else doesn't mean you're doomed or that you can't live a fulfilling life. One of the biggest things I struggled with when coming out was the internalized misogynistic belief that two women being together could never be financially stable. And while we are certainly still trying to find our way, and are privileged in many areas, I've at least proven myself wrong about that. I hope I can share some of my feelings of accomplishment and optimism with all of you by being as open as possible.

I think it also helps people feel like they really know me & can trust me to see my face and sort of "sacred" photos like wedding pics, and helps make my blog a sort of safe space so to speak, helps people feel comfortable reaching out to me if they need help or advice or a listening ear. At least I hope so.

I am always here for you and all girls & young women on here, especially lesbians. I know yall are going to grow up and kick ass 💞

Edit:

Also anon I hope you see this, but this doesn't sound dumb. That is femsoc talking. Be confident about how you feel and what you think! There's no need to minimize yourself and your experiences 💗 You matter and your thoughts & feelings matter so much, too.

[honeybunhalo]

Kara/Lena adopt Superboy AU Notes (Part 1)

I’m finally delivering on the content for this Supercorp AU

This is a Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor and Superboy (Kon-El) centric story. Specifically focused on exploration of one's identity and how you define yourself with the many aspects of your life and choices you made as well as what you consider important and precious to you. The effects of being constrained by how you were born and finding those who love you for who you are and don't ask you to change the core of your being to fit in. — this is not an action packed story at all.

Here are some of the ideas I have for this or things I thought Kon had in common with Lena and Kara that I find compelling.

Lena concepts:

Lena gets to know another Luthor, her biological nephew, who isn’t a trash person and is someone to not just for her to protect but who’s existence assures her that it isn’t blood that makes someone bad and maybe she isn’t so different from other people and she’s not “irredeemable”. Sometimes he reminds her of her older brother when he was kind to her growing up. Likewise, everyone usually sees the Lex in Kon as an inherently bad thing and thus he learns to hide it and hate himself for it. Lena presents an alternate because she remembers bittersweetly a simpler time when she looked up to her brother. Not everyone sees the Luthor genes in him as a threat, Lena finds it comforting to be able to help someone like her in a way she was never helped as a young girl. 

Lena thinks she can’t interact with kids well, much less the kid Lex had grown in a lab, but she totally warms up to him and can talk to him about familial rejection (via Clark) and if it’s because he’s a Luthor and if that makes him wrong. Is it because he’s artificial? Is it because he’s some strange illegitimate lab child? Smothering this kid with love and protection.

Plus Kon is like Kara in more than just being kryptonian but also in dorkiness. Lena’s life is just trying to wrangle an overpowered golden retriever and her lab puppy. She can’t stay mad at them for long.

Lena finding she is capable of loving and being loved and being with Kara makes it harder to ignore the crush she has on Kara. They talk together about love and acceptance now they have a shared kid they don’t want to hide personal things from that could later hurt him and many things become open secrets in their now shared house. Soon enough, it becomes obvious she needs to be truthful with Kara about her own feelings for her. 

Lena could learn about the difficulties of hiding being an alien that Kara had to deal with and the onslaught and exhaustion of developing powers in young kryptonians. She gets to see first hand what it does to a child and wonders how that must have affected Kara’s emotional development and sense of self. 

Lillian and Lex won’t get anywhere near this kid if Lena has something to say about it. Lena knows what it’s like to be the odd one out in a family and for people to reject you for simply existing from other people's sins

Kara concepts:

Kara recounts how she felt like a failure waking up on earth to find out Kal had grown up without her. Now she can maybe make peace with that by taking in Kon even if everything that motivates her choices with him is primarily for kons sake. 

Kara can share with another person krypton's history and culture which is something she’s had to keep seperate from her primary identity for years now *cough* it’s almost like she’s an immigrant who has to hide her identity and culture to be accepted and you could use that in the story *cough* 

Kon lived through being created as a lab rat and the only living experiment left. Kara could sympathize with his own grief from her experience with survivors’ guilt. 

Being open with Kon so that he doesn’t feel that same overwhelming pressure when she was told to hide with a human family also gives room for Lena to learn more about the world Kara came from beyond what she knows from interviews from Superman. Having Kara speak openly about her life on Krypton is much more personal and feels much more real than any article could do. 

Teaching Kon how best to control his powers and her and Lena being able to have the resources for him to do so safely 

Alex is very alarmed by the new addition to the family, mostly because how shitty Clark was in relation to the kid. From her perspective, this is not the first time the guy has dumped an unwanted kryptonian child on someone else’s doorstep. Whatever, she gets to buy leather jackets for her new nephew and be scary overprotective of him. “I don’t care if you think you’re nearly invulnerable at your age, do you have ANY IDEA what type of trouble your mother got us into when we were growing up? Or even when she just started hero work?”

Conner Kon-Cepts:

His sort-of-aunts can be his adoptive moms and be much better to him than his biological dads ever were to him in the comic canon. Kon actually being allowed to be close to other Superman family members!!! I need it like the air I breathe. Kon could get to know a Luthor that isn’t trying to hurt him or use him. Someone who defies part of why (Kon thinks) Superman could never accept a thing like him. 

(I have too many things to say to put in a brief bullet point just know that he’s my fav little boy and I think that he deserves parents who would love him unconditionally and Lena and Kara deserve to live a slower life where they can be cute and domestic)

(If he’s raised by these two then I can give a solid reason as to why we just ignore all the blatant misogynistic and horny writing from the 90s comics that made me really uncomfortable and didn’t completely fit with his given backstory especially with how over the top the specialization was. It helps make up for that)

Kon has to deal with being constantly compared to his two genetic fathers mirroring how Kara and Lena both are constantly being compared to Superman and Lex Luthor as they are the female counterparts of those two more infamous members in their respective families

Kara and Kon have very complementary stories and could become what the other needs to fill a hole in each of their hearts. Canon is way too personally tragic. I’d rather have a bittersweet world that’s also soft so I can spend more time with slow paced character analysis.

(In the beginning, Kon’s much more timid given he’s still so young and is coping with being rejected by superman. The tone at the beginning of the story is very serious. As the story unfolds, kon will loosen up to be goofier like his comic counterparts personality)

Both Clark and Lex don’t deserve this kid in any way. If all they are gonna do is mistreat or neglect him in their own ways, Kon is better off with his aunts. 

Conclusion:

Kara and Lena can be happy together by fully trusting themselves with each other in domestic bliss for once AND Kon doesn’t have to cry his eyes out knowing he’s an unwanted experiment child who is “undeserving” of family and home who never got to experience childhood

Everyone who's always saying “you can’t trust a Luthor” better shut their trap when Kara walks in with Kon-El Luthor, her newly adopted son, and her fiancé, Lena Luthor. These new moms will tear you apart if you try to instill that internal hatred of being a Luthor in their son’s young mind. 

Kara and Lena both defying what people say about them and instead raising a well adjusted boy from both their warring families. 

Kon is gonna be raised by a true power couple.

DC refuses to deliver on giving this boy a home or parents so I’m gonna do it instead. Just look at the family they could be together:

(FYI: This has nothing to do with the version of Superboy in the Young Justice cartoon TV show, so if you’re only familiar with that you may be a bit confused about this Superboy who that one was loosely based on. This whole punk fitted kid is indeed a real character and I stay pretty close to his original design from 1993.)

[harzeke]

ok here are my headcanons for mike's system i had these in a google docs before but i think doing it here will be easier for others to see

obviously these are not 100% concrete and will change over time but these are what i've been working with for the past three years ish haha

mike

18/19 (the age of the body)

he/they

"host" (he fronts the most and is who the rest of the system tends to look to as the core)

sensitive, loyal, compassionate, probably the most academically inclined in that he's very receptive to learning and does so very quickly

he's also easily manipulatable and his vulnerabilities can be easily exploited, especially when it comes to information involving his mental health (i.e what scott did in grand chef auto).

uses a lot of introverted body language and tends to fidget with his hands

enjoys action movies, especially old corny ones

mal

tends to ageslide between the ages of 13~19

he/they/it

the "original" host, mal is the alter who possesses the most memories of trauma and is considered too destructive/unstable to be the main alter by mike (at least at this point in time)

extremely clever, good at debating, overly protective and is very emotionally connected to the rest of the system

cold and callous to anyone not in the system (especially those trying to get close to him), rude, can be manipulative and lashes out when uncomfortable

he tends to have a very defensive posture and wears a lot of baggy and shapeless clothing in an attempt to make himself seem bigger than he actually is

he still likes hall of the mountain king. possibly related to some kind of memory he has that most of the other alters don't...?

svetlana

slightly older than mike, i'd say maybe 19~21ish? she'll usually just say she's however old mike is though

she/her

plays a secondary protective role and tends to front when mike is extremely stressed, but more specifically in situations that require her personal skillset

she's extremely sociable, friendly, and loves to learn about and teach others. she's also extremely agile and athletic

people do tend to find her a little annoying, however, and she's not exactly the best at understanding sarcasm, subtext, or intent if you're not being clear. this can make her seem a little naive or airheaded

she has extremely good posture and emotes with her hands.

tends to speak in a sort of sing-songy way and her vocal range goes quite a bit higher than the rest of the alters since she is the only one who isn't masc-leaning.

also likes to wear makeup and present fem because of this, but is aware that in a lot of situations she may not be able to, which can sometimes give her dysphoria

she does actually know russian though. whether she's fluent is yet to be seen but she can at least hold a conversation

vito

perpetually 22. he's been 22 since he showed up and he'll probably be 22 as long as he's in the system

he/him

an alter born from some kind of (most likely sexual) trauma mike has almost entirely repressed. he may not look like it, but he does play a protective role in that regard

very closeted bisexual. he loves to flirt with women constantly but if any of them reciprocate in a way that could trigger flashbacks (or god forbid a man does), he immediately goes into fight or flight

(as a note, all the other members of the system are bisexual openly, with their own personal leanings towards women or men or whoever)

extremely charismatic and courageous ("i've got balls!"), vito is one of the alters that tends to get mike into a lot of trouble with his skirt-chasing and fast talking.

because of his lack of shame or filter, he tends to get into a lot of sticky situations that other alters may have to step in and de-escalate if he can't do it himself

despite this, he has a lot of interesting talents and skills some of the others don't have. he's extremely good with machinery and mechanics and has a particular knack for fashion and keeping up with trends

his accent probably isn't nearly as strong as it is in the show but it does exist

manitoba smith

approximately 35

he/him

a fictional introject, manitoba is the embodiment of charisma, machismo, bravery and quick wit that mike aspired to have during the experiences that lead to his formation. he also tends to front when mike is stressed, like how svetlana does, but who fronts depends entirely on the situation

he's a survivalist at heart and loves to thrill seek

however, because of the source of the character in which he's based, he tends to come off as not only a little arrogant and rude but sometimes kind of misogynistic? JGKFDGFD he doesn't exactly think too hard about what he's saying.

he has an australian accent but it's very audibly fake-- it's as if he's mimicking someone who is putting on an accent (and he technically is)

if he's in a situation where he's fronting for multiple days or some other longer period of time, he refuses to shave. every other member of the system hates this

he also is the only member of the system who drinks alcohol

chester

ageslides widely from approximately 40 to his mid sixties

he/him

possibly based in part by the passing of a relative extremely close to mike in combination with familial trauma in which he was without any kind of paternal authority figure in which he could rely on or look up to

he seems kind of gruff and stubborn, but he legitimately means well and is just . not entirely comfortable being a grown ass man in the body of a teenager having to only interact with other teenagers.

for this reason he doesn't like to front in social situations and tends to spend his time fronting by himself or with people the rest of the system trust immensely

he's the only member of the system who smokes (svetlana constantly scolds him because of this because she thinks it's very unbecoming and honestly kind of gross)

he is the most emotionally attached to mal in the system and because of this they can sometimes co-front together as a pair

he's one of the few members of the system who can play an instrument (he knows how to play the piano, vito can play the guitar)

[female-buckets]

Its the homophobia and misogyny of sue rapinoe that really gets me. Its like they thought if her partner is also a woman it doesn't count as misogynistic. As if the the fact that they're an openly gay couple hasn't also brought them homophobia and other negative consequences. We need to critique the racist neglect of the Black players in the media but we can do that without being homophobic and misogynistic. Womens sports make up 4% of the coverage, why critique the 4% when you could the 96%?

Exactly.

For the first 15-20 years of the league, the WNBA made their 4% be as straight as possible. They went beyond encouraging gay players to be discreet. They went beyond the dress codes and etiquette classes. They'd have broadcasters say things like "behind every great WNBA player is a good man at home." They'd do entire segments about husbands and wedding proposals. Interviewers would ask players which male athlete they had a crush on. This is what the WNBA chose to do with their 4%.

Gay players navigated this in different ways, but no one had an easy time of it. It's hard enough to simply maintain a relationship and a professional basketball career at the same time. Gay couples also have to juggle their families' attitudes about their relationships. Add to that the stress of knowing their employer wants them to be a straight role model. So now they're juggling family attitudes with attitudes from their bosses, agents, sponsors, and fans. And they're trying to keep a relationship stable through all that. And they still have to dribble the damn ball.

Meanwhile, straight players could simply marry their college sweethearts and live their lives.

That was not a level playing field. They put half the league through a psychological head trip while giving the other half a pat on the back.

This was how the WNBA worked for the majority of its 25 years. Gay players only recently won ground against that aggressive straight-washing.

Sue Bird is the only player I've heard talk specifically about the WNBA's history of straight-washing. She talks about it in her diplomatic "not trying to trash my own league" way. She points out that the league has stopped trying to present the players as something they're not. She points out how this shift in the league has benefitted players' wellbeing.

So when people say Sue's gotten too loud lately, I know they're uncomfortable with what she talks about. She's 100x more gentle than I am when she criticizes straight culture, but she still makes straight people uncomfortable.

When I compare Aja Wilson's massive following with Jonquel Jones' tiny following, I get critical. When fans say Sue Bird's variety of media is too loud, what kind of media specifically are they looking for? When black players get media coverage, are fans comfortable with the players' natural variation in sexuality and self expression? Or is there a specific image they expect black players to fit?

Is it just a coincidence that all of WNBA twitter's favorite players are very feminine and plausibly straight?

[nightswithkookmin]

Hey Goldy, i'm positive Yoongi isn't straight and has been fairly open about it from the early years. So do u think that Yoongi could've influenced Jikook (especially Jimin cuz he is very close to him) in any sort of way on their journey?

Jimin is VERY close to Yoongi

Thank you so much for this statement😭

I feel seen and heard🤧

Not a lot of Jokers out here appreciate Yoonmin's bond😭😭😭😭

The disrespect! How dare they!

In reality, Yoonmin is one of the best ships that reflects the hyung dongsaeng dynamic perfectly in BTS in my opinion- Jinkook and Yoonkook, NamTae are heavy contenders I'd say but Yoonmin is right up there with them. Love Jihope too- if they could cut down on the flirting chilee.

No JHOPE I don't want you to call Jimin sexy or look at him like you want to gobble him with a glass of Sprite- it's weird😭😭😭

But also don't stop

From Suga 'bullying' Jimin, teasing him, praising him, mentoring him, the bickering- he is the biggest PJM right next to JK and Namjoon. I said what I said.

So thank you for this. I literally cried.

Feel so good to hear someone say that.

I'm having an existential crisis at the moment and Yoonmin is what is getting me through it at the moment.

People need to stop invalidating the members' bond. Seriously. Not cool. They all have beautiful dynamics real or not.

But he's gay? 🤔

You believe Suga is gay??

Damn.

He's queer and has been pretty open about it from the beginning???

A lot of people assume that about him actually. I think it's interesting.

Did he influence Jikook, Jimin in anyway...

If by influence you mean support then yes. I think he was and has been very supportive of Jimin and JK individually and has helped them embrace and make sense of certain aspects of themselves.

I think he's more understanding than most of the challenges and difficulties of being young and uncertain of who you are growing up under public scrutiny and in a highly hostile environment.

I think he is wise beyond his age and I have a ton of love and respect for him as both a person and an artist.

I love 'People' so much...

I think the most Iconic thing he's said so far to me is this totally woke, fanservice questioning and ridiculing statement:

'I didn't want to wear the maid outfit. I was surprised when they said it's for the fans. We don't have any interest in seeing girls wear men's clothes so why does the fans want us to wear women's clothes?'

It's weird. Fanservice is weird.

My least favorite moment of his is when he admonished JK not to say things like he'd want a tattoo when he grows up because the fans wouldn't like that.

I found that very contradictory for someone who's life motto is nevermind- or is it I don't give a shit?😏

Find it equally triggering whenever he teases JK about crying too much or being a cry baby as if it's wrong for men to cry. There's nothing wrong with shedding tears. Men cry too.

Then the bit about him not wanting tattoos or just a dot on his toe or feet or something because he has things he might want to do post BTS that having a tattoo would just be an inconvenience... quite conservative I'd say.

He don't give a fuck but then he gives a fuck?

Mans gotta be a realist or I'd chalk up these inconsistencies in his values to the clash between his Persona and his real self.

To be fair, he's not the only one. That conflict plays out in almost every member's outlook.

I see Yoongi as that one person who'd say to a person, go for it but end that advice with a caveat such as, 'but understand people will hate you for it' or some truth along those lies.

He places consequences right next to desire and as long as the person is not oblivious to and can bare the consequences of their actions, decisions and choices then I think he'd ask them to go for it and stand in their truth.

That much I know is his value and I can see how that might have impacted both JM and JK. But rather than encourage them to take risks, I think he pushes them to seize opportunities and put themselves outside- there's a difference there. Their not one and the same.

More than anyone in BTS, I think he understands the gravity of being queer, closeted or being in a relationship with a bandmate in the industry they work in.

I think he is much mature enough to understand the consequences of over attachment and risks of detachment and that too plays out in the way Jikook carry themselves around in the group.

Other than that, I think he minds his business most times.

Do I think he is open minded about conversations on sexuality? Absolutely.

But that's as far as I can go on the topic.

I do not believe he is queer and I'm not convinced in anyway he is pansexual or bisexual either- don't quote his song lyrics to me I already know. Lol.

Boy or girl my tongue will send you to hongkong....

And then his interviews about what he finds attractive in women??

'... it's not limited to boys or girls?'

Lolololololololol

I think that bit was heavily misconstrued.

'I'M NOT GAY'

This was his response when he was asked to talk about moments his heart skipped because of JHOPE. Similar to moments when the members had said their they almost fell for a band mate perhaps.

Other translations of that statement he made in the interview was, 'since we are both men, how can my heart throb for a man' and then he laughs it off.

Knowing Suga, I think he probably meant that in the most ridiculing, most mocking way possible- these interviewers be asking some stupid questions sometimes.

But imagine Suga saying that with two gay members sitting right next to him in that interview and how these members would feel hearing him say that about homosexuality.

One thing about BTS, if they be making loud openly 'woke' statements, take a shovel to their past- it's usually because they've messed up somewhere and are simply acting conscious of the things they say that can come across as problematic. In my opinion.

They do learn and grow from their mistakes. That's one thing I love about BTS.

They've all had their problematic moments as I keep saying.

To me, this interview moment would be one of such said problematic moments if not one very homophobic moment of Suga's- if the translations were right I mean. chileee. Lemme shut up. Lol.

And before anyone says but JK said the same thing too...

JK had a 'fear' of coming across as Gay in his early years. Part of the reason he wanted JM on the west of his east when the cameras came around- in my opinion.

He'd stutter when similar 'gay' questions were thrown his way- prompting Jimin to ask him straight away not to answer said question when an interviewer asked him.

You pair that with some of the members describing him as 'wanting to be manly' or appear like a manly man and it's not hard to figure out what was going on with him.

He'd pause and look at JM funny when JM would describe their relationship as in between friends and romance...

Jimin had to tell him to relax and that it was normal for men to say 'love' to men without it being weird or gay.

He knew gayism was a thing. He simply didn't want to be viewed as one- either because of his own repressed homosexual desires, in which case that would be internalized homophobia or he really really didn't like being thought of as gay- homophobia.

Suga's is different.

He either genuinely didn't know gay was a thing or that some men's heart actually beat for other men- seems to me he thought the idea of a man's heart skipping for another man absurd or impossible- or dude thought he was being a smart pants with that remark. Lol.

Baring his age in mind at the time of the interview, that in anyway reflects his ideals or assumptions about sexuality. That heterosexuality is D norm. That straight is all he can be or should be thought of as- He clearly hasn't read the blogs. He's in for a rude awakening.

If JK had this ideology about sexuality I think he would have been able to hide his sexuality better and not freak out each time people made jokes about it💀

Suga's said explicitly he is attracted to gal's who wear headphones, doesn't like gals who play hard to get- said he'd kick em if they didn't quit playing hard to get (misogynistic and abusive lyrics there but it's hiphop- let's not talk about that) finds it ridiculous that men should wear female clothes, thinks 'men' shouldn't cry.... all the making of a fine gay man😃

Should we chalk it up to internalized homophobia then??

I wouldn't.

A very dedicated Sope shipper will tell you, he said what he said to cover the fact he is gay so there's that. Lol.

I'm just not convinced Suga is part of the community but I think he is open minded now, leans less into his conservative values and more towards progressive values and thoughts.

I don't think he in any way shape or form 'influenced' Jikook to be gay or to do the gay if that's what you were asking.

But I do respect your opinion on Suga. I think we are all free to assume whatever we want in this case.

I might be wrong about him. You might be wrong about him or we could all be right. We will never know.

Thanks for the ask.

Wasn't comfortable answering it though. Lol.

I don't like when I have to watch what I say.

Sigh.

Signed,

GOLDY

[shirkers2018dirsanditan]

No kidding there needs to be some collective and MASSIVE pushback on this erasure of women shit. In general people have been getting way too comfortable and bold being openly misogynistic, but we're at a point where feminists are accused of bigotry if they prioritize or even mention women specifically. I'm not sure how we can address it, but we need to. Enough already.

I know!!!! I am genuinely so sick of this its fucking making me angry. this is gone way too far

[likealittleheartbeat]

The Queer Platonic Love of Aang & Zuko

Friend. What a weighty and intimate word in Avatar The Last Airbender. The series’ “found family” is iconic at this point, and is literally established as a “family” by Katara in the third episode. She pulls Aang back from the outrage of the Avatar state, saying “Monk Gyatso and the other monks may be gone, but you still have a family. Sokka and I, we’re your family now.”

 As I’ve said before, establishing this central safety net of trusted people is essential to Aang’s healing. Still, it’s interesting to me that they insist on this group as a “family” rather than something that might emphasize “friendship.” Something along the lines of ‘we’re your friends and we’re here with you.’ I can think of several animated shows that have done as much successfully. The show withholds the word “friend” for another purpose. I’ll happily admit that Aang and the others describe each other as “friends” throughout the series, but rarely is the use of the word (through pacing, repetition, or emotional context) given a sense of gravity in those moments. 

However, three scenes in the series rely heavily on the word “friend,” and each scene connects Aang more and more profoundly with Zuko, eventually revealing that the show’s entire plot hinges on the friendship between these two boys. In a series so latent with symbolism, what do we make of these star-crossed friends? The relationship between Aang and Zuko, I want to suggest, is meant to explore Platonic Love in all its depth, especially within a masculine culture that not only devalues it, but views its queer implications as inherently dangerous to the dominant power structures of an empire.

Get ready zukaang fans for a long-ass atla meta analysis...

“If we knew each other back then, do you think we could’ve been friends, too?”

The first time the word “friend” is uttered between them, Aang is perched on a branch, waiting for Zuko (who is laid out on a bed of leaves the Avatar made for him) to wake up after his blue spirit rescue. “You know what the worst part about being born over a hundred years ago is?” Aang waxes, “I miss all the friends I used to hang out with. Before the war started I used to always visit my friend Kuzon. The two of us, we'd get in and out of so much trouble together. He was one of the best friends I ever had...and he was from the Fire Nation, just like you. If we knew each other back then do you think we could have been friends too?” The scene stood out for me when I first watched it for the melancholy and stillness. We are not given a flashback like we did when Aang talked about Bumi or Gyatso in earlier episodes. We have to sit with Aang’s loss of a male friend. It echoes a veteran’s loss of a war buddy more than anything a western audience would expect in a children’s show about the power of friendship. Instead of simply mourning, Aang invites Zuko into the past with him. He invites Zuko to imagine a time before the war, a land of innocence, where they could live together. And between them there is a moment of reflection given to this invitation (...until Zuko shoots a fucking fire blast at Aang). 

The wistful mood returns when the two boys arrive back to their respective beds. Aang is asked by a loopy fevered Sokka if he made any “friends” on his trip, to which Aang sadly replies, “No, I don’t think I did” before tucking away to sleep. Aang’s mournful moments often stand out against his bubbly personality, but this moment stands out moreso because its the final moment for Aang in the episode. For the first time, he doesn’t receive comfort in his dejection. He doesn’t even confide in his peers. The solemnity and secrecy of this failed “friendship” is remarkable. 

It’s in the next symbolic gesture that I think Avatar reveals what’s at stake in the concept of “friendship.” Zuko, in the next scene, lays down to rest after his adventurous night, looks pensively at the fire nation flag in his room, and then turns his back on it. We realize, especially after the previous revelations in “The Storm,” that Aang’s gestures of “friendship” have caused Zuko to doubt the authority of the Fire Nation.

Now all three remaining nations have misogynistic tendencies, but the Fire Nation celebrates a specific brand of toxic masculinity, and Zuko longs to emulate it even after it has rejected and scarred him. In the episode, “The Storm,” which directly precedes “The Blue Spirit,” we see how Zuko failed to replicate masculinity’s demands. In a room of men, he disregards honorifics to speak out in the name of care and concern for people’s well-being over strategy. Though the war room was all men, we later see that The Fire Nation does not exclude women from participating in this form of toxic masculinity. (Shoutout to Azula, one of the best tragic villains of all time!) This gender parity prevents disgraced men, like Zuko, from retaining pride of place above women. So Zuko’s loving act and refusal to fight his father puts him at the lowest of the low in the social hierarchy of the Fire Nation, completely emasculated and unworthy of respect.

Since then, Zuko has been seeking to restore himself by imitating the unfeeling men of the war room and his unfeeling sister, barking orders and demands at his crew. The final redemptive act for this purpose, of course, is to capture the Avatar, who’s very being seems to counteract the violent masculinity at the heart of the Fire Nation. In most contemporary Euro-American understandings, Aang is by no means masculine. He’s openly affectionate, emotional, giggly, and supportive of everyone in his life, regardless of gender. He practices pacifism and vegetarianism, and his hobbies include dancing and jewelry-making. And, foremost, he has no interest in wielding power. (@rickthaniel has an awesome piece about Aang’s relationship to gender norms and feminism). 

In addition to the perceived femininity of Aang’s behavior, he’s equally aligned with immaturity. Aang’s childishness is emphasized in the title of the first episode, “The Boy in the Iceberg,” and then in the second episode when Zuko remarks, “you’re just a kid.” Aang, as a flying boy literally preserved against adulthood, also draws a comparison to another eternally boyish imp in the western canon: Peter Pan. This comparison becomes more explicit in “The Ember Island Players.” His theatrical parallel is a self-described “incurable trickster” played by a woman hoisted on wires mimicking theatrical productions of Peter Pan. The comparison draws together the conjunction of femininity and immaturity Aang represents to the Fire Nation.

When Zuko is offered friendship and affection by Aang, then, he faces a paradigm-shifting internal conflict. To choose this person, regardless of his spiritual status, as a “friend,” Zuko must relate himself to what he perceives as Aang’s femininity and immaturity, further demeaning himself in the eyes of his father and Fire Nation culture. The banished prince would need to submit to the softness for which he’s been abused and banished. This narrative of abuse and banishment for perceived effeminate qualities lends itself easily enough to parallels with a specific queer narrative, that of a young person kicked out of their house for their sexuality and/or gender deviance. 

I want to point out that Aang’s backstory, too, can be read through a queer lens. Although the genocide of the air nomads more explicitly parallels the experiences of victims to imperial and colonial violence, I can also see how the loss of culture, history, friends, and mentors for a young effiminate boy can evoke the experience of queer men after the AIDs pandemic and the government’s damning indifference. In fact, colonial violence and the enforcement of rigid gender roles have historically travelled hand-in-hand. Power structures at home echo the power structures of a government. Deviance from the dominant norms disrupt the rigid structures of the empire. Aang’s background highlights how cultures based in something besides hierarchy and dominance, whether they be queer cultures or indigenous societies, threaten the logic of imperialism, and thus become targets of reform, neglect, and aggression by the expanding empire and its citizens. Survivors are left, as Aang was, shuffling through the remnants, searching for some ravaged piece of history to cling to.

We begin the series, then, with two queer-coded boys, one a survivor of broad political violence, the other a survivor of more intimate domestic abuse, and both reeling from the ways the Fire Nation has stigmatized sensitivity. But the queer narrative extends beyond the tragic backstories toward possibility and hope. The concept of platonic love proposed here, though it does not manifest until later, is a prospect that will bring peace to the two boys' grief-stricken hearts and to the whole world.

“Do you really think friendships can last more than one lifetime?”

“Do you really think friendships can last more than one lifetime?” Toph asks before the four members of the group hold hands. Since Toph previously mourned her friendless childhood, it’s easy to appreciate this line for its hopefulness regarding the four central members of the Gaang. They long to appreciate that they’re all connected. As touching as this is, the soul-mated ‘friendship’ concept is actually uniquely applicable to Aang and Zuko.

When does Toph ask the question specifically? It’s after hearing the story of Avatar Roku and Firelord Sozin: how their once intimate friendship fell apart; how Fire Lord Sozin began, undaunted, the genocidal attack on Airbenders. After recounting the tale, Aang, the reincarnation of Avatar Roku, excitedly explains to the group the moral that every person is capable of great good and evil. While that moral could easily be ascribed to many people in the series, the connective tissue is stretched directly to Zuko in a parallel storyline. Reading a secret history composed by his grandfather Sozin, Zuko discovers that he is not only the grandson of the empirical firelord but of Avatar Roku, as well. We see how the rift between the Sozin and Roku echoed down across history to separate the airbending culture from the fire nation, and, on a more human level, to separate Aang from Zuko. The two boys find themselves divided by their ancestors’ choices— and connected by Avatar Roku’s legacy. 

This is what takes their “friendship” from simply a matter of the character’s preferences to something fated, something unique from the other friendships. The rest of the found family is positioned as circumstantial in their relationship to Aang and one another. Yeah, it’d be cool if they were all connected in past and future lives, but the audience receives no indicators in the series that it’s necessarily true. Only faith holds them together, which allows room for an appreciation that your “found family” friendships might simply be the trusted people you discovered along the way. 

Zuko’s friendship is characterized differently. Both his struggle to befriend Aang and his eventual “friendship” are explicitly destined by the story of Roku and Sozin. After this episode, the series depends upon Zuko’s ability to mend the divide inside himself, which can only be done by mending the divide between him and Aang. Their inheritance symbolizes this dynamic exactly. As the reincarnation of Avatar Roku, Aang can be understood as the beneficiary of Avatar Roku’s wisdom (he should not, as many jokingly suggest, be considered as any kind of biological relation of Roku or Zuko).  Zuko, on the other hand, has inherited Roku’s genealogy in the Fire Nation. These two pieces of Roku must be brought together in order to revive Roku’s legacy of firebending founded on something besides aggression. 

In addition to making the ideals of Roku whole again, the two boys must tend to the broken “friendship” between the two men. As the Avatar and the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, Aang and Zuko parallel Avatar Roku and Firelord Sozin precisely. The narrative of the latter pair places destiny precisely in the hands of the former. And since both Aang and Roku expressed the desire for “friendship,” it falls in the lap of the corresponding royal to give up their imperial dreams so they can gain something more peaceful and intimate. For Zuko, this now can only be accomplished when he heals the rift within himself. 

Importantly, both the previous friendship and the destined friendship between Zuko and Aang are between two men. The coming-of-age genre has proliferated the trope of homosociality (friendship between individuals of the same sex) and its eventual decline brought on by maturity and heterosexual romance. (Check out the beautiful and quick rundown of classic examples, from Anne of Green Gables to Dead Poet’s Society, made by @greetingsprophet ). The story of Avatar Roku and Firelord Sozin replicates this established narrative. 

We see them playing, sparring, and joking intimately with one another. The two as young adults were intimately connected, the series explains, “sharing many things including a birthday.” Eventually their intimacy is interrupted by their worldly responsibilities and the spectre of heterosexual romance on Roku’s part.

Now, It’s not a huge leap for one to wonder if Sozin longed for something stronger in their “friendship.” We see no female romantic interests for Sozin. Instead, he continues to demonstrate his platonic allegiance to Roku. When Roku prepares to leave for his Avatar training, Sozin walks into his room and gives him his crown prince headpiece, a gesture of unique devotion that positions his friendship above his politics (which harkens to Plato and EM Forster’s ideas about platonic love that I’ll discuss in Part 3). 

One might note, too, how the wedding between Roku and his childhood sweetheart provides the setting for the escalation of Sozin’s violence. “On wedding days,” Sozin writes, “we look to the future with optimism and joy. I had my own vision for a brighter future...” He then pulls Roku away from his bride for a personal conversation, briefly recapturing the earlier homosocial dynamic with his friend. Sozin describes his affection for their intertwined lives. Then he links their shared happiness to the current prosperity of the Fire Nation. He imagines the expansion of the Fire Nation, which would also expand on the relationship between him and Roku. But the Avatar refuses the offer and returns to his wife, insisting on the value of traditional boundaries (both the pact of marriage and the strict division of the four nations). The abandonment of the homosocial relationship by Roku sets the site for the unmitigated empirical ambitions of Sozin. One wonders how history might’ve been altered had the two men’s relationship been sanctified and upheld. How might’ve Roku persuaded Sozin in his empirical ambitions if he had remained in a closer relationship to his friend? In their final encounter, Sozin reacts vengefully to his former platonic love: he lets Roku die protecting the home the Avatar shared with his wife. Sozin’s choice solidifies the divide between them, and makes the grief he’s experienced since Roku left him into actual death.

Instead of Avatar Roku and Firelord Sozin finding a resolution, Aang and Zuko are ordained to reverse their friendship’s disintegration. Yes, they must heal the rift in the world created by the Fire Nation’s aggression, but Aang and Zuko must also reverse the tradition of lost homosociality within a culture of unrelenting machismo. Despite Avatar: the Last Airbender’s ties to the coming-of-age genre, the arc of Aang and Zuko’s “friendship” counters one of its most prominent tropes. “Some friendships are so strong they can transcend lifetimes,” Roku says, and it’s precisely this platonic ideal that draws Zuko and Aang towards one another in ways that are revolutionary both in their world and in the traditions of our’s. To come together, as two matured boys, to form an adult platonic love that can persist into adulthood.

“And now we’re friends.”

Which brings us to the consummation of Aang and Zuko’s “friendship.” Having resolved their previous hostilities and having neutralized the outside forces that would rather them dead than together, Aang and Zuko can finally embrace and define their relationship as “friendship.” Now, if we look closely at Zuko’s expression, we’ll notice a pause, before he smiles and reiterates Aang’s comment. My initial response, with my zukaang shipping goggles on extra tightly, was that Zuko just got friend-zoned and was a little disappointed before accepting Aang’s friendship. When I took a step back, I considered that we are given this moment of reflection to recognize Zuko’s journey, his initial belligerent response to the idea of befriending the Avatar. When he accepts the term of ‘friend,’ he reveals the growth he’s undergone that’s brought peace to the world. With these two possibilities laid out, I want to offer that they might coexist. That the word ‘friend’ might feel to Zuko and the audience so small and limited and yet simultaneously powerful. The pause can hint at the importance of “friendship” and signal something more. This reading emboldens the queer concept of “friendship” that undergirds their relationship. That the hug that follows might be meant to define the depth of the platonic love that is at the very heart of the series.

Saving a hugging declaration of “friendship” for the announcement of peace in the series is quietly revolutionary. In the twentieth century, male characters could connect in battle, on competitive teams, and through crime. “In the war film, a soldier can hold his buddy — as long as his buddy is dying on the battlefield. In the western, Butch Cassidy can wash the Sundance Kid’s naked flesh — as long as it is wounded. In the boxing film, a trainer can rub the well-developed torso and sinewy back of his protege — as long as it is bruised. In the crime film, a mob lieutenant can embrace his boss like a lover — as long as he is riddled with bullets,” writes Kent Brintnall. Aang and Zuko’s hug starkly contrasts this kind of masculine intimacy. The show suggests that environments shaped by dominance, conflict, coercion, or harm, though seemingly productive in drawing people and especially men together, actually desecrate “friendships.” Only in a climate of humility, diplomacy, and peace can one make a true ‘friend.’

In situating the’ “friendship” between two matured males in a time of peace, the writers hearken back to older concepts of homosocial relationships in our fiction. As Hanya Yanagihara has described the Romantic concepts of friendship that pervaded fiction before the 1900s. In her book, A Little Life, Yanagihara renews this concept for the twenty-first century with a special appreciation for the queerness that one must accept in order for platonic love to thrive into adulthood. She writes, “Why wasn’t friendship as good as a relationship? Why wasn’t it even better? It was two people who remained together day after day bound not by sex or physical attraction or money or children or property, but only by the shared agreement to keep going, the mutual dedication to a union that could never be codified.” Aang and Zuko’s relationship, despite a history that would keep them apart, reclaims this kind of friendship. Their hearts, bound together by an empyrean platonic love, are protected from the political and familial loyalties that would otherwise embroil them. 

In addition to Yanagihara, another author that coats the word ‘friend’ with similar gravity and longing to Avatar is E.M. Forster, who braids platonic friendship in his writing with homoeroticism and political revolution. In Forster’s novel Maurice (originally written in 1914 but published posthumously in 1971 due to Britain’s criminalization of male homsexuality), the titular character asks a lower class male lover lying in bed with him,  “Did you ever dream you had a friend, Alec? Someone to last your whole life and you his? I suppose such a thing can’t happen outside of sleep.” The confession, tinged with grief and providence as it is, could easily reside in Aang’s first monologue to Zuko in “The Blue Spirit.”

 Platonic love as a topic is at the heart of Maurice. Plato’s “Symposium,” from which the term platonic love derives, is even directly referenced in the book and connected with “the unspeakable vice of the Greeks”— slang for homosexual acts. For Forster, the sanction of platonic love, both the homosocial aspect and the latent homosexuality, reveals a culture’s liberation. “If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend,” Forster wrote in his essay “What I Believe,”, “I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.” This echoes a sentiment of philial love described by Plato. 

Rather than revolutionary ideals, for Forster friendships, and specifically friendships that disregard homophobia, provide the foundation for peace, equality, and democratic proliferation. When Aang and Zuko embrace, they are embodying this ideal.  Platonic love and the word “friend” have a history intertwined with queer romantic love, and, while I won’t argue that Avatar attempts to directly evoke this, I will suggest that the series consciously leaves room for this association. Now, the show certainly makes no attempt to imply anything romantic between Zuko and Aang within the timeline we witness (nor any same sex characters, which reflects cultural expectations in the 2000s). And for good reason, the age gap would be notably icky, to use the technical term. (You might note, however, that the show actually allows for crushes to extend upwardly across the same age gap, when Toph accidentally reveals her affection for Sokka to Suki in “The Serpent’s Pass.”) Despite connecting queer friendships to the history of ‘platonic love,’ Avatar provides two critiques to platonic love for audiences to absorb. One is the pederasty with which Plato defined his ultimate form of love in his Symposium. Fans rightfully comment on the age gap between Aang and Zuko as something preventative to shipping them together. And beyond the fact of their ages, Aang’s youthfulness is emphatic, as I remarked earlier. Aang and Zuko are prevented from consummating their platonic love until both are deemed mature in the last moments of the series. And even then, their relationship is directed toward future development rather than conclusion. Instead of cutting away, they are allowed to exit their scene together toward a speech about hope and peace. This stands in stark opposition to the permanence of Aang and Katara’s kiss. The platonic love in Avatar, the kind EM Forster cherishes, is relegated to adulthood as opposed to other kinds of boyish friendships. The conclusion of Avatar, at least for me, actually feels especially satisfying because it settles our characters in the “new era of love and peace.” It is a beginning, and it feels more expansive than the actions the characters choose to take in the episode. Even as our characters conclude three seasons of narrative tension as the sun sets and “The End” appears on the screen, it feels instead as if their stories can finally begin. The characters are allowed to simply exist for the first time. Yes, Aang and Katara or Zuko and Mai are allowed to embrace and kiss, but it’s because the pressures of empiricism have finally been banished. They are now allowed to try things and fail and make mistakes and explore. Things don’t feel rigid or permanent, whether that be one’s identity or one’s relationships.

Ideally, within the morality of the series (at least as it appears to us with no regard for whatever limits or self-censorship occurred due to its era of production and child-friendly requirements), “friends'' are maintained alongside romantic partnerships. Both Zuko and Aang’s separate romantic relationships blossom within the same episode that they declare their “friendship.” In fact, a vital plotline is the development of Zuko’s relationship with Aang’s romantic interest. While anyone in the fandom is well aware of the popular interpretation of romantic affection between Zuko and Katara because of their shared narrative, I have to point out that romantic feelings across the series are made extremely explicit through statements, blushes, and kisses. Zuko’s relationship with Katara can be better understood in the light of the coming-of-age counternarrative. While the love interest often serves as a catalyst for separation for a homosocial relationship, the friendly relationship with Aang’s love interest—seeking her forgiveness, respecting her power, calling on her support, etc—is vital for Zuko to ultimately create an environment of peace in which he and Aang can fulfill their destined “friendship.” In fact, we can look at Katara’s femininity as the most important device for manifesting Aang and Zuko’s eventual union. It’s her rage against misogyny that frees Aang from his iceberg, midwifing him into the world again after his arrested development, the complete opposite of a Wendy figure. It’s her arms that hold Aang in the pieta after his death in the Crossroads of Destiny, positioning her as a divine God-bearer. Afterwards, its her hands that resurrect Aang so that they together can fulfill his destiny. It will be these same hands with this same holy water that resurrect Zuko in the finale. Only through Katara’s decided blessing could Aang and Zuko proceed toward the fated reunion of their souls.

The importance of this critical relationship to femininity becomes relevant to a scene in “Emerald Island Players” that one might note as an outstanding moment of gay panic. Zuko and Aang, watching their counterparts on stage, cringe and shrink when, upon being saved by The Blue Spirit character in the play, Aang’s performer declares “My hero!” Instead of the assumption of homophobia, I wonder whether we might read Aang and Zuko’s responses as discomfort with the misogynistic heterosexual dynamics the declaration represents. Across the board, Avatar subverted the damsel in distress trope. There’s a-whole-nother essay to be written on all the ways it goes about this work, but the events in “The Blue Spirit” certainly speak to this subversion. It’s quite explicit that Zuko, after breaking Aang’s chains, is equally dependent on Aang for their escape. And, by the end of the actual episode, the savior role is reversed as Aang drags an unconscious Zuko away from certain death. To depict these events within the simplistic “damsel in distress” scenario, as The Ember Island Players do, positions Aang as a subordinately feminized colonial subject, denies him his agency, and depicts the relationship as something merely romantic, devoid of the equalizing platonic force that actually empowers them. The moment in the play is uncomfortable for Aang and Zuko because it makes Zuko the hero and Aang the helpless object. Aang is explicit about his embarrassment over his feminized and infantilized depiction in the play. And Zuko, newly reformed, is embarrassed to see, on one hand, his villainy throughout the play and, on the other hand, see how his character is positioned as made out as a savior to the person who has actually saved him.

At the heart of the series is not the idea of a chosen one or savior. Instead, we are saved by the ability for one person to see themselves in another person and to feel that same person equally understands their own soul. This is the ideal of platonic love. Platonic love between two matured boys—two boys with whose memories and bodies bare the scars of their queer sensitivities—is an essential part of the future of peace. Many fans have a sense of this, labeling the relationship as “brotp” and “platonic soulmates.” I simply encourage people to acknowledge that platonic love, especially in this context, is not a limit. There is no “no homo” joke here. When we remark on the platonic love between Zuko and Aang (and across media more generally) we are precisely making room for friendship, romance, and whatever else it could mean, whatever else it might become. While I find Legend of Korra lacking and in some ways detrimental to appreciating the original series, it’s finale interestingly parallels and extends this reading of platonic love in a sapphic vein. And most recently, She ra Princess of Power was able to even more explicitly realize these dynamics in the relationship between Adora and Catra. Let’s simply acknowledge that Aang and Zuko’s relationship blazed the trail: that peace, happiness, hope, and freedom could all hinge on a “friendship,” because a “friend” was never supposed to be set apart from or less than other kinds of relationships. For the ways it disregards gender, disregards individualism, disregards dominion, platonic love is the foundation of any meaningful relationship. And a meaningful relationship is the foundation for a more peaceful world.  *Author’s note: I’m just tired of sitting on this and trying to edit it. It’s not perfect. I don’t touch on all the symbolism and nuances in the show and in the character’s relationships. And this is not meant to negate any ships. It’s actually, quite the opposite. This is a show about growth and change and mistakes and complexity. Hopefully you can at least appreciate this angle even if you don’t vibe with every piece of analysis here. I just have no chill and need to put this out there so I can let my obsession cool down a bit. Enjoy <3