#people seemed to like my wedding drabble and i wanted to say thank u for everyone who sent me nice comments

[catboythanatos]

alright, the only thing i could think of when i read this was: valentine's day. but i honestly have NO idea what the hell valentines day even is in night vale, so it took me quite a while to actually come up with a fic idea from that. eventually i thought of this, and i later realized that it doesnt fit with the real timeline of the show (for some reason i thought that "valentine" came after "one year later" and that carlos and cecil were together at this time, but that is not the case) cause we know that carlos listens to cecils show so he probably would have learned what valentine's day was from that before they ever got together so this situation, canonically, was avoided. but just for a moment let's humour me and imagine what would have happened if it wasnt...

@thefollow-spot asked: Night Vale cultural differences, what are some weird Night Vale romance traditions that still freak Carlos out/has Carlos grown accustomed to it by now?

Carlos was a little apprehensive, having learned that some holidays in Night Vale weren't the same as in the rest of the world, but when he saw normal-looking Valentine's Day stuff at the store in early February, he decided to give it a try. He even found a card with an anatomically correct heart on it, much to his scientific delight. On top of the bleeding, realistic image of the heart were the words: Be my Valentine? in an attractive gold lustre.

The cashier grimaced and eyed him up with apparent disgust as she rang him through, but did not comment. Carlos thought she may have just thought that romance was lame, or possibly she was grossed out by depictions of bleeding human organs. He should have known this was not a proper assumption to make in Night Vale.

The look of shock and horror on Cecil's face when his new boyfriend turned up on his doorstep with flowers was not exactly what he was expecting.

The scream, too. There was a scream. A panicked, terrified scream. Cecil’s face then drained of all and any colour, and he put a hand over his mouth to silence himself. In two or three seconds of sheer panic, Cecil breathed heavily into his hand. He clenched a fist at his side. Then he unclenched it. Then, he reached forward and slapped the flowers and the chocolates right out of Carlos’ hands.

Carlos looked down at the expensive chocolates that had spilled out on the sidewalk, deeply troubled and at a total loss for words.

He heard a gasp and he looked back up to see Cecil tearing up his card, the many tiny pieces fluttering down to his feet. The world around him had stopped feeling very real.

“What are you doing?” came Cecil's voice, now very near his face, tone hushed and frantic.

“What am I doing? What are you doing?” Carlos gestured to the upsetting sight below their feet.

“Carlos, you can't--” Cecil cut himself off, grumbling with apparent frustration. He glanced around nervously, before grabbing Carlos quite un-gently by the collar.

“Cecil, wh--”

Cecil pulled him inside and locked the door immediately behind him. “It's not safe out there," he whispered. "I think you should stay here with me.”

Carlos chuckled breathily. “Oh, Cecil.”

But Cecil scowled, looking about ready to slap him as he let go of his shirt. “Not now, Carlos! It is Valentine's Day, this is not the time to be getting romantic!”

Carlos blinked.

“What were you even thinking? Do you know what would happen if I was designated to be someone's Valentine?”

“Someone's… Cecil, you silly thing, you’d only be my Valenti--”

“Carlos!”

“What?”

“You can't say those words! Don't-- don't you care about me? How could you wish me to be…”

“Cecil, I-I have no idea what you're talking about. I just wanted t-to give you--”

“Heart-shaped chocolates? On--” Cecil’s voice dropped to a hushed whisper “--Valentine's Day?”

“Cecil, I don't--”

“Do you have any idea what happens to someone who is designated to be someone else's Valentine?”

“No? I have… absolutely no idea.”

“Do you know?”

“No! I seriously don't know! Are you going to tell me?”

Cecil said nothing. He was pacing back and forth now. He peered through the peephole in the door, a look of crushing fear and panic set on his features.

“I'm sorry...?” Carlos tried.

Cecil turned to face him, sighing. He allowed himself to calm finally. He breathed deeply for a moment, and when he opened his eyes, he was frowning. Carlos was frowning too.

“Where I'm from,” Carlos explained, “Valentine's Day is a day dedicated to love. You go out and buy gifts for the people that you love -- like chocolates, and their favorite flowers… And then you maybe go for a nice dinner or something. I only wanted to do a nice thing and--and take you out on a date. I can only imagine that it is not like that here. Like, at all. I maybe should have looked into it a little bit more before showing up here and freaking you out. I'm sorry.”

Cecil didn't seem to know where to put his hands suddenly as Carlos’ words finally reached him. The colour was returning to his cheeks now, generously donating a little bit of extra red.

“I…I'm sorry for freaking you out, too, I guess,” said Cecil. “I-I had no idea.”

“Being someone's Valentine…”

Cecil winced.

“...isn't a real thing! It's just like, something that people say. I don't really know what the heck it even means. I'm sorry that I… put you through that. I don't know what Night Vale's Valentine's Day is and honestly, after your reaction, I'm not sure that I want to know? I just am going to say that I am so, so sorry. Valentine's Day, to me, is about … appreciating the people you love. I'm sorry if it didn't exactly come across that way.”

“No, Carlos, I… I appreciate that -- I appreciate you -- so much,” Cecil said, taking Carlos's hand. “I didn't know there was such thing as a pleasant, date-night Valentine's Day. Like, that’s crazy! And amazing! That sounds so much nicer than this, what with all of the bodies in the street right now.” Cecil laughed.

“All of the what?”

Cecil put both of his hands in Carlos's, looking him in the eyes. “We can still have a date. Kind of. Maybe not out there.” Cecil peeked outside the door again. “Yeah, let's definitely not go out there.”

Carlos wanted to look, but Cecil stood in front of the door, pushing him away. “Ugh. Don’t. Valentine's Day corpses are a total mood-killer.” He rolled his eyes.

Carlos opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. He blinked a few times. “Right…” He peeled Cecil's hand off of his shoulder.

“Now, tell me more about your romantic Valentine's Day, Carlos,” Cecil purred, replacing the hand and guiding Carlos into his house.

Carlos felt himself beginning to sweat. “Are you sure there isn't… something else we should be doing? You mentioned… corpses? People are dying? Shouldn't we… help?”

Cecil shook his head solemnly. “There's nothing we can do. Once a Valentine has been decided… There's nothing anyone can do.”

“Cecil, I seriously don't know what being a Valentine means here but I am very, very concerned.”

Cecil started to rub Carlos’ shoulders. “It'll be okay. We're safe here.”

It was hard for Carlos to tell which one of them he was trying to convince.

Carlos eventually allowed himself to relax into Cecil's touch. This was fucked up, definitely, but for Night Vale, it was pretty much just another Wednesday. He was having trouble deciding which things to be concerned about these days, because if he let himself be concerned about every little concerning thing that happened around here, his mind would explode.

“Okay,” Carlos said, breathing a sigh. Cecil rubbed the tension slowly out of his shoulders, and he started to feel more relaxed. He also started to feel guilty about feeling relaxed while people were supposedly dying outside from some unknown cause.

“Happy Valentine's Day,” Cecil murmured. Carlos could tell the words were foreign and devoid of the same meaning to him.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he murmured back, feeling just as confused.

It was actually a nice moment, until Carlos heard faint screaming come from outside, making his skin crawl. “Are you sure we shouldn't--”

“I'm sure.”

Carlos leaned uneasily into Cecil's chest. He had a feeling it was going to be a long Wednesday.

[kiridarling]

𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓.

request | Can I have royalty au (soon to be king bakugou) (and soon to be queen reader) , katsuki and reader are supposed to be getting married (not to eachother) but they end up sneaking around and doing IT with eachother so top!kats , exhibition , begging , dumbification and spanking THANK YOU💞💞

this lovely request was submitted for the kissing booth event (the rest of the drabbles come out soon, ahem :)) so, if this was your request, um...hAHA whoops.

katsuki bakugou | f!reader, royalty!au, infidelity, nondescript!fiancés, angst (gasp), fingering, exhibitionism, dumbification + more! minors dni!

— 3.7k words

“C'mon, princess...can I make you feel good once last time?

You're getting married.

No more ignorance is bliss, no more I didn't know any better—this is when you put all your childish antics to the side and fucking woman up, now in charge of the safety of your kingdom and its inhabitants and whatnot. So yes, you must snuff all your adolescent tendencies, and that includes sleeping with the Crowned Prince of the neighboring kingdom behind your fiancé's backs.

But, boys are stubborn. And stupid.

Ding ding ding!

"Excuse me, Everyone!" Your fiancé announces to the crowd in your dining room as he stumbles to his feet, spoon clinking against his glass. He nearly trips, but no one sees except yourself. "I would like to make a toast."

You frown. This wasn't a part of the rehearsal dinner.

"First of all, I would like to thank you all for being able to be with us tonight," he says, shoving the glass higher in the air. As red wine splashes over the rim, you think to remind him that isn't a toast, it's the beginning of a speech, but your comments have rarely deterred the man in the past. "As you’re all aware, this marriage is vital. Not only for our kingdom, but for the neighboring kingdom as well."

Your fiancé regards the Bakugou’s with a lift of his chalice. In the coming weeks, two arranged marriages will melt the four most influential kingdoms into two, and your fiancé and his family had the genius to throw a massive Gala to celebrate it. You wouldn’t be surprised if they got off to the idea of stretching themselves so thin their hair falls out at age thirty; they won’t even allow you to choose the type of dress for your wedding.

"I would also like to thank my lovely, lovely wife, for just being so... lovely.” Your fiancé chuckles, accompanied by an uncomfortable massage to your shoulder. The guests find amusement in how whipped he is as he gazes your way expectantly, conceivably wishing to see you swoon at the compliment. All you give him is a blank face. His elation falters.

"You know, when I first met this woman, I knew she was going to be the love of my life," your fiancé shakes your glare off. You purposely block out the rest of his story in favor of folding and unfolding your napkin again, puffing under your breath at the cheesy comment.

"Sap," you grunt to yourself, obviously. You don't expect anyone to hear, but there's a snort to your right. Your eyes lift from your lap—and straight into Katsuki's smug blood red ones. He winks at you from across the table and your eyes roll at that, though there's a small smile playing on your face that's impossible to hide.

"Isn't that right [Y/N]!...[Y/N]?"

You blink yourself back to life, eyes reluctantly leaving Katuski's hypnotic ones for the pair that make you nauseous, "Oh—u-um, yep!"

The place bursts in laughter and there's even a little smile dancing on Katsuki's face. He catches you staring so your eyes divert to your lap, but his remain a physical force against you for the rest of the night.

*selene — the greek goddess of the moon

The balcony is much nicer than the ballroom.

For one, it's the farthest place you could have gone from the commotion, all the way on the opposite side of the castle. It's a solid five-minute walk when you aren't in heels and a heavy petticoat, but it provides a lovely view of your front yard, subjecting you to watch the early-sleepers leave in their carriages to call it a night. Meanwhile, *Selene watches you from her telescope the moon with a sigh and a sad smile, because she's the only one who knows how completely and utterly alone you will be.

You glare at her—the goddess doesn't waver.

Bitch.

It's no secret that Gala’s like these get overwhelming—especially when you're the center of attention. You see Lord Shinsou (Earl) stuff the eager Lord Kaminari (Baron) into his silver-plated carriage before looking around to ensure no one saw, and blanche upon seeing your figure stood on the balcony. You salute so he knows his secret is safe with you, and relief washes over his face before he too hops into the carriage. What a scandal, you giggle.

Plenty of couples resign home after that; it makes you uneasy. You're unsure as to why, but you have the ever-increasing urge to nip at your fingernails until you don't have them anymore, and jamming the sharpest point of your heel into the concrete seems like the only proper way to release enough kinetic energy before you explode.

"He loves me."

He does, embarrassingly so—so what's the issue?

There isn't an issue; there shouldn't be. He reminds you how pretty you are and you compliment his influence. Neither of you are marrying down. You look good together. The kingdom's future power couple if you will, where you two supposedly mold the great future in your peculiarly young hands. There isn't an issue. You're the one for him, and he's the one for you.

The balcony door whines open. You don't turn around, praying whoever it is will see that it's occupied and turn the other cheek. Yet, the stomp of whoever's boots only grow louder until you’re adjacent to a shadow of a being, his chin lifted towards the stars. You catch a glimpse of blond hair, though dyed a pale white by the silver moon, and you two stand in a strangely comfortable silence, watching carriages roll out of your driveway.

The silence doesn’t last for long, though. It never does.

"D’ya always go disappearing like that?"

You frown. "What?"

"I don't fuckin' know," Katsuki grumbles—he has yet to look at you. Seems like Selene captures more than one person's attention tonight. "Blinked and you were gone."

Your frown only deepens, and you return your attention to the courtyard. "I didn't know you were paying attention."

The ash-blond presses his forearms against the railing for support. "I wasn't. He was."

Oh.

"Said he wants you to come back, so," Katsuki clicks his tongue, carmine red eyes finally flicking your way through the darkness. You don’t dare look at him. “You run off often, or what?"

"Tell him I'll come back in a second," you sigh, balancing your face in your hand. Katsuki says nothing, but he doesn't leave, and you hate that you don't mind.

Until he points towards a couple crossing the lawn and says, "Oi, that's the Duke from my fiancé's kingdom. Fucker tried to poison my dad for the throne—straightened him out real quick.”

"Why are you talking to me?" You snap like a cornered animal. Katsuki lifts an eyebrow.

"What? I can't have a goddamn conversation?"

"I—" your chest rises and falls with a reason to why he can't, but you can only come up with one—and you don't want to think about it.

"Listen. I don't like these things either, alright?" He huffs defensively, so defensively that you have to take a step back. "If I have the opportunity to get some fresh air, I'm gonna fuckin' take it."

You shrug, supposing it makes you one and the same. The wind blows, not harsh, but harsh enough to ruffle your gown, and make the gold jewelry decorating Katsuki's tunic jingle.

“So. I guess this is it, ain’t it?”

You sigh, “Katsuki, you know we—“

"Yeah yeah, that's all you fuckin' say," he growls bitterly, and you blink in a poor attempt to find where the animosity came from. His face twists in an ugly way as he sits his hands on his hips, nose scrunched to mockingly pitch his voice that doesn't sound like yours at all. "We can't, we shouldn't—"

"Because we shouldn't!" You nearly shout, and Katsuki jumps from how quickly you raise your voice. "Because—because if we get caught, we're fucked. And I can't go to sleep terrified that I'll wake up to an exposé tomorrow morning and get beheaded by the afternoon. So...please. Just stop."

Katsuki clicks his tongue.

"You don't love that asshole."

Your throat feels tight—much too tight to be comfortable, and your chest rises and falls with disbelief as you search for the words before you can talk again, eyes never dropping from the stars. You've had this conversation, fuck, you have it too often; often enough to know that he would say those exact words, and enough to know precisely what you'll say in response.

"I love him, Katsuki."

"No, no you fuckin' don't," the ash-blond chucks a laugh and it's nothing short of acrid, his words eating away at your skin more than you'd like them to. You sigh, resting your forearms on the railing too.

"I'm not having this conversation with you."

"Always gotta be so goddamn emotionally unavailable, huh?" He growls, glare set on the mountains presented in front of you. You feel his suit jacket hit your freezing shoulders, unaware of the cool temperatures until you feel the cloth brush against goosebumps. It’s your turn to laugh bitterly.

“Careful. People might think we’re getting married to each other.”

“One day you’ll let me fuckin’ live,” he grunts, and your eyes meet for the first time. His usual red is dyed a deep purple by the moonlight, their usual hardness traded for something much softer. “Can’t even give you a jacket when you’re shivering like a goddamn leaf in the wind.”

You give him a look of utter exhaustion because you’re tired—tired of all this running around and hiding, the secrecy. It eats at your insides like a caterpillar does a leaf, knowing that you go to sleep every night to a man who’ll barely touch you, but at the same time, feeling guilty that you don’t need nor want him to.

“Why are you here?”

Katsuki clicks his tongue. His warm body settles behind yours, close enough to feel the warmth but not close enough to feel him. “You looked lonely.”

“I thought my fiancé told you to get me?” You ask, raising a suspicious eyebrow. Katsuki rolls his eyes, his arms settling on both sides of yours.

“He did. But I didn’t refuse the damn request either.”

“You saw my loneliness all the way from the ballroom. What an eyesight,” you scoff. Katsuki’s eyes narrow, but it’s clear he’s fighting a grin because you’re a little shit who loves giving him a hard time. The ash-blond’s chest rises and falls, and he bites the inside of his cheek.

“You know what I mean.”

You snort, tilting your head to the right. You suppose you do.

“And I’m marrying a bitch,” he adds to his list of grievances, his hands finding yours to gently play with your fingers. You nod in agreement. A bitch she is.

“And...I’m really going to fuckin’ miss you.”

It might as well pass for nothing but a breath, eyes trained on your held hands. His chest suspends like he has more to say, but his teeth tear at the inside of his cheek before he can. “I—fuck, I get it, okay? I’m a selfish asshole—“

“This doesn’t have to do wit—“

“And I really, really need to get my fuckin’ priorities straight. I mean, they are, just not in the way they should be.”

“Hey,” you chastise, shaking his hands for his attention. “You can’t control who you love, okay?"

Katsuki grumbles at that but you refuse, turning around to look him in the eyes.

"And neither can I.”

You let go of his hands in favor of pulling him down via his cheeks and giving him a big fat kiss on the lips. It’s peckish and brief, but it’s sweet and gets your point across. It's comfortable.

“The hell was that for?” Katsuki asks once you pull away. Though you see him struggle to hide a grin, eyes squinting more than they should.

“Easy,” you say, stepping forwards (as if there’s any space for that), “You looked lonely.”

Katsuki snorts, dropping his head, “Bastard.”

“And I’m being married off to an asshole,” you lament, pulling his face so close to the point you’re sure the strain on his back has got to be anything but sexy. He accommodates anyways—Katsuki always has; and night seems to suspend along with his baited breath as he waits for the next line, eyes shining with a painful hope you’re about to confirm.

“And I’m really, really going to miss you,” you say, shaking your head at how utterly true that statement is. Fuck.

The vulnerability slowly fades from his eyes at that, and Katsuki hums, clammy hands finding their rightful place around your hips.

“You shouldn’t call him an asshole, you know,” he says, face inching so close you can smell the champagne on his breath. “He means well.”

“I didn’t know you cared,” you quip back, raising an eyebrow. Katsuki shrugs, and you don’t realize he’s backing you up until your back kisses the cool railing.

“Well. I can’t help but feel a little bad,” he says cheekily as he inches closer, “‘Cause I make you feel so good, don’t I, Princess? Last time I checked, better than he ever could.”

You scoff at his audacity though it’s all good-natured, eyes preferring the moon over his heated gaze as he turns you around to face the courtyard.

“Ah, ah,” he tuts, redirecting your attention using a finger on your jaw, “Eyes on me, Princess. You look really fuckin’ pretty under the stars, y’know.”

You snort at the compliment, rolling your eyes.

“‘M serious. A fuckin’ goddess,” he growls, leaving wet kisses up the column of your neck. Your breath hitches as he reaches your sweet spot and sucks, and you’re swatting him away before he can leave a mark.

“I sai—“

“One last time, Princess,” he bargains lowly as his hot hands slide their way from your waist to your breasts, taking their sweet time. Katsuki hooks his chin on your shoulder. “Lemme—Can I make you feel good one last time?”

You’re nodding with a whimper before you can berate yourself for being so fucking easy, the thought of not being able to indulge yourself with this, with him, any longer tosses any and all resistance out the window.

“Good,” Katsuki hums, tweaking your nipples through the bodice. “‘M gonna pay you back for being so good to me, yeah? For puttin' up with all my shit."

You scoff, mouth dropping to tell him you weren't putting up with his shit, but then a warm hand lands on your thigh—somehow, he's found a way under your dress. The hand slides up inner thigh and you feel Katsuki's chest shudder against your back as he finally reaches where you need him most.

"K-Kats—"

"Shhh, you don't want them to hear us, do you?" He grunts, pulling your panties to the side. You shiver from the change in temperature, watching another Duke and Duchess of half-drunkenly stumble into their carriages for the night, before there's a crack of a whip and hooves beat towards the exit. It's only a reminder of how painfully exposed you two are—one glance towards the balcony and any onlooker would know exactly what's happening. You hate it.

You hate that you don't.

"Atta girl," Katsuki purrs, groaning as he inserts a finger. You shiver, the weight of his being practically trapping you against the railing. "Always so fuckin' tight. I swear that asshole never fucks you right."

Katsuki's never been an impatient man and fills you with a second finger awfully fast, chuckling when you bite into the meat of your palm to hold back a whimper. His hips start to grind against the puff of your dress and he groans as quietly as he can, carelessly shoving down the sleeve of his suit jacket to bite into your shoulder.

You let out a broken moan much too loud for this time of night and it prompts Katsuki's free hand to stuff an equal amount of fingers into your mouth. "Y'know, something tells me you wanna get caught. You want the whole world to know how much you fuckin' hate that bastard, huh?"

You choke as Katsuki slides in a third digit next to the second, the slap of his palm against your pussy becoming nothing but obscene as your slick accentuates the sound. His hips speed up against your ass and that's enough friction to have the ash-blond groaning, along with the spit that drips down his forearm.

"So dirty for me, Princess," his hips stutter when you push back, tongue laving over the bite mark you'll probably have to conceal in the morning. Asshole. "You wanna cum like this, don't you? You're gonna cum all over my fingers in front of the entire royal court. Dumb little girl, can't even keep her mouth shut to keep us from gettin' caught."

You jam your heel into the balcony concrete so hard you positive it cracks before you're coming all over Katsuki's fingers, nearly choking on the ones in your mouth as you release the loudest broken moan you have that night. Katsuki's hips stutter against you and you're positive he's filling his boxers from the airy moan that follows, and his hand goes limp in your mouth before it slides out completely.

Your chests balloon in unison, his body draped over yours, and as you two catch your breath under the moonlight, you can’t help but think how much you’re going to miss this.

"Run away with me."

"I—" he does this. He always does this. He makes you feel on top of the world, acting like everything's fine, and then he pulls this shit on you. You look everywhere but him, nearly scoffing in disbelief. "Katsuki—"

"C'mon, Princess," Katsuki scrambles to flip you by the waist until your back is flush against the railing again and he’s cradling both your hands in his semi-damp ones. There’s a look in his eyes you don’t like, and it makes your chest burn. "Across the sea, people are movin’ over there and I—I know someone there, okay? Someone we could stay with, maybe help us get back on our feet an-and I found a fuckin’ ferry guy to take us across, and I can even pay him a little extra, o-or you, or—"

"Katsuki," you give him a sad smile, squeezing his hands tight. There's hope, too much hope in his eyes and it's fucking blinding. "Running away? I—this is—we have an obligation, we can't jus—"

"It'll be fine," he insists, stepping forwards and squeezing you back twice as hard. You sigh."I—the two kingdoms can merge or whatever the fuck they wanna do and then we'll be—"

"Katsuki."

"I—fuck Princess, I don't beg but goddammit, I'll do whatever you fuckin' want, get on my knees, I ca—"

"You really want to know what I want?"

Katsuki freezes. It's the first time you've ever seen some semblance of emotion in him that isn't anger or lust, with carmine red irises swimming in unshed tears—and fuck, you hate the sight. You want to shoot yourself in the fucking foot for what you’re about to do, but it’s for the best. It always is.

"Love her."

Katsuki looks at you, and his face drops, chest shuddering.

"I can't."

You drop his hands in favor of holding his face, thumbing at the hot tears running as they fall. God, Katsuki’s pretty—too pretty for his own good and he doesn’t even know it. His unsteady hands find themselves massaging your ribs and your foreheads knock together. "You need to try. Love her as much as you love me, yeah?"

"'S fuckin' impossible," Katsuki says with a wet snort, shaking his head with eyebrows raised. You giggle, throat impossibly tight.

"Almost, then? For me."

Katsuki’s red eyes stare at you through the darkness. You have half a mind to look the other way, but you figure you owe him this if nothing else, and as he lovingly absorbs your being under the moonlight for the last time, you really wish you could take your words back.

"I'll...fuck. Fine. I'll try." Katsuki resigns with a shrug, shaking his head. You two sniffle in unison and you suppress the strange urge to pinch him. "'M not gonna try to get over you, though. Sorry, not sorry."

You roll your eyes at that but it's all good-natured, followed by a choke you struggle to hide as his arms coil around your waist, "Then I won't either."

A genuine grin spreads across his face, and it’s borderline giddy—and a stark contrast against the waterworks. "She finally fuckin' admits it."

"Figured it was about time," you give him a wobbly smile before your eyes flicker to his, red blurring from being so close. Selene looks upon both of you with a reminiscent sigh.

"I love you, Katsuki Bakugou."

Katsuki sniffs before he laughs; it's wet, and near bitter, and he pulls you so close your face nearly shoves into his chest. "Fuck. Fuck, you're an asshole, you know that?"

"This is when you say it back," you bargain, squishing his cheeks. Katsuki presses his forehead deeper into yours.

"I love you too, Asshole."

He speaks with a softness you've never heard and it's like a gunshot to the heart, and as his lips inch closer to yours as your hands slide to thumb at his ears. One last kiss wouldn't hurt, would it?

Until there's a whistle and the click of footsteps. You and Katsuki jump a mile apart.

"Oh, [Y/N]! You're still out here in the cold?" Your fiancé asks with a raised eyebrow, but it seems like that's only an afterthought as he turns to Katsuki to say, "Your wife’s found the alcohol."

"Great," the ash-blond groans, understanding the translation—your fiancé is piss drunk in the ballroom.

"I do recommend you take her home. She's making quite a mess of the eclairs. And her face."

Katsuki heads inside without giving you a second glance, and your fiancé gives him a solid pat on the way in before turning to you halfway through the doorway, "Are you coming inside, Darling?"

"In a moment," you say with a smile. Your hand never leaves the railing. "Just getting some fresh air."

"Alrighty, then. I'll be in the bedroom. Waiting~" he winks, and with that, he's spinning on his heel, and you're alone with the moon again.

You watch Katsuki guide his inebriated fiancé into the carriage lovingly, with a smile on his face that isn't quite the one he wears with you but close enough, whispering whatever pleases her at the time with a chaste kiss on the cheek. You feel comfort in knowing that he has someone to love and someone to be loved by. He doesn't look your way—not once.

It's not until they drive away that you realize you still have his suit jacket draped over your shoulders. You don't doubt he did that on purpose, either.

Asshole.

[quirklessidiot]

Title: coward :: epilogue Pairing: Y/N x Miya Atsumu Genre: angst, romance, and very slow burn [ex to lovers au] Warnings: Cursing, alcohol, mentions of unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, heavy mentions of abortion, and brief mentions of trauma

notes:

we’ve finally reached it guys! the end :”> this story has been one of the things i’m very much proud of. From this chapter onwards, it’s all just fluff and well Atsumu and Y/N content. thank you for sticking around despite the slow burns and see you on the side stories and the drabbles. ill be accepting eight drabbles for this story and it’ll be open after all the side stories are complete, uwu.

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“...I wonder how you put them to bed.”

“They usually sleep immediately after I give them a glass of milk.” You blinked, looking up from your paperwork, “Did they give you a hard time again?”

“They chunked a pillow at me and that started a pillow fight.”

Soft laughter filled the room and Atsumu felt his heart soften at the sound of that, such a beautiful laugh you had. 

It’s been a year since that confrontation but it feels so surreal whenever he wakes up to see you lying next to him, snuggled on his chest or the kids suddenly barging into the room to catapult themselves to bed with you two.

Him, you, children. 

A family.

“Are you not going to sleep yet?”

“No,” You breathed, shifting through paper works,“I have to finish this if I want to watch your game next week.”

“Can I lay on your lap then?”

“We have a very big bed.” You deadpanned, you were still stoic and blank as ever but comparing to before, you were more open to him with your emotions and thoughts. Albeit, he didn’t know much about why you ran away -  Daiki says to give you some time -  or what happened with your family, he doesn’t mind because he promised he’d wait and be patient with you. 

Atsumu even suggests that if you can’t talk to him about it, he’d willingly look for good psychiatrists around the area to help with your trauma. The sessions seem to be going well so far, albeit it was slow, you were finally taking the proper steps to heal.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Atsumu grinned childishly and situated himself on your lap. Unknowingly, you’d start playing with his hair. He suddenly feels like he’s about to doze off by the domestic gesture and the familiar sound of your breathing but he is immediately awoken by the small voice of yours.

“Do you want to know why I never introduced you to my family?” you suddenly asked, his eyes slowly turned towards you yet you continue to play with his hair nonchalantly as if you weren’t talking about a heavy topic, “Our situation was a lot like my parents. I was born when my okaasan was in the middle of studying medicine and my otosan was a law student.”

Atsumu remains quiet as he listens to your story.

“They were both from very rich families with promising futures, they dated, they were happy until I happened…” You paused, continuing to play with his hair, “Okaasan wasn’t able to finish her course and she got depressed because of that, her family had turned her back on her. So she begged otosan to marry her even if he didn’t want to so that she could finish her degree and return to her family.”

You continue your story; telling him everything about how your father fell out of love with your mother, how scared you were of your mother growing up, how she quit being a doctor because she was an alcoholic and almost sued for drinking on the job, and how you came to the realization that you weren’t supposed to be born when you were only eight years old, “...that night we met at the frat party was the day of my otosan’s wedding to his mistress, they had called out how the previous wedding and me was a mistake as a joke but it still kind of stinged.” You confessed, “I didn’t know what I’d do if I hadn’t met you that night.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was soft, comforting even and it made you smile because despite his rather loud attitude, he understood you very well and was very patient with you.

He’s empathetic and it makes you wonder why you even ran away in the first place, maybe Daiki was right that night seven years ago, maybe you should’ve told him and stayed with him.

“Whenever I was with you back then, you didn’t make me feel that way so I didn’t want to spoil it or destroy that feeling. I didn’t want you to see me in that light.” You divulged, recalling the memories you had with him, “I felt like I was supposed to be there with you. You were a reminder that it was alright to be alive. That I wasn’t a mistake.”

Comfortable silence fills the air as he takes it all in.

Atsumu takes a hold of your hand that’s playing with his hair and gives it a comforting peck, “Was that also why you couldn’t tell me back then that you were pregnant?”

“You were being scouted for the jackals that time and I was scared we’d end up like my parents because I disrupted your dreams.” You ran your hands through his hair again, playing with the blonde strands, “I didn’t want the kids yet at the same time I couldn’t abort them because they were yours.It was very confusing.” 

“Would you...Would you have pushed through with it? With the abortion?”

“Probably.” you blinked, recalling that moment you were at the clinic,you recalled the feeling of nervousness as you waited for them to call your name,  “With the past I had, I doubt I would’ve made a good mother. Would you have hated me if I had done it?”

“No. I don’t think I would.I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love those brats, I love this family but at the end of the day, it would’ve been your choice.” He replies softly, drawing small circles on your hands, “It would’ve been better if you went up to me and told me though, at least I would’ve been there.”

“Well, in the end, I didn’t push through. I couldn’t do it. They were yours as much as they were mine and I couldn’t let that go after breaking off with you.” you paused, “I also told myself that they’d never feel that way, that they’d never feel as if they were born out of a mistake.”

“And you did a damn good job at it.” He complimented, “You placed your own okaasan to shame.” 

“You placed my otosan to shame too…” You smiled softly, suddenly a question popped in your head, you might as well ask it now since the timing seemed to be better than ever, “Would you like to get married?”

Atsumu’s eyes immediately widen at what you said and he sits up, “What the hell, Y/N? I should be the one asking that!” He loudly exclaims and you cover his mouth to muffle his voice.

“The kids are asleep.” You choke back a laughter, shushing him, “And I think it should be me the one who should ask for your hand, after all the shit I put you through-”

The blonde setter takes your hands off his mouth and cuts you off, “First of all, that was my choice. Second of all, how many times do I have to tell you that we were both at fault there? We’re doing a damn good job now. Mind you,” he immediately scrambles out of the bed right after before you could say anything else and looks through his sock dresser, he takes out a small box and your eyes widen, is that what you thought it was?

“I was supposed to give it to you when I officially got in the jackals back then.” Atsumu sheepishly confessed, “I couldn’t throw it away after you left, it was the little hope I guess that you’d come back. I mean, I’ll get you a new one now since i got-”

“I didn’t think you were the sappy type.” You glazed, cutting him off, completely enamored by the gesture, “You’re very cheesy.”

“Only to you.”

You scrunch your nose, faking a disgusted look but Atsumu knows better than that and just crawls back in your arms and gives you a chaste kiss on the lips that you reciprocate almost immediately. It’s slow, languid, and passionate. Something people wouldn’t expect from someone like him.

“Don’t bother buying a new one, I think I like this one better.” You smiled, pulling away as you hold out your hand in which he happily puts on the simple band. He looks into your eyes again, the eyes he loved looking at since he was nineteen. The eyes that were filled with so much emotion that it always contrasted your face that was void of emotions. The same eyes that he dreamed his kids (and they did) to have when he asked you that one night if you wanted to have a family.

“I’m in love with you.” you break the silence.

You never said those words out loud before to him but hearing it now, after all that you’ve both been through. It’s worth it.

He’d do it all again just to be in this moment.

“I’m very much in love with you too.” He grins, leaning back in for another kiss.

Finally…

Finally he was able to catch up with you.

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[jiminrings]

Can I request a drabble, hobi is kinda like a band singer and Y/N is like his old time friend and they like had a falling out bc he got super successful but years after they're like together again? IS IT TOO SPECIFIC UHM :")

parallel

pairing: hoseok x y/n

wordcount: 4k

glimpse: hobi’s kind of an asshole and is vERY much emotionally repressed, y/n’s serotonin is dependent on wearing bridesmaid gowns, the dwindling one-sided pining anD the everlasting question of where the fuck was hoseok when you needed him :D // gif is from pinterest!

notes: this drabble really hits close to home and tysm for the request babe!! even if i’m a month late yeesh :O

you can’t believe yourself either when you say it

but holy shit — weddings are definitely your thing!

there’s something about the union of marriage that gets your head into overdrive but in a gOOD way

there’s just something so pulling about last-minute changes and family drama and awkward trips to the restroom that make your mind mHMMMM THIS IS IT CHIEF

yea granted that not every wedding you go and participate in isn’t exactly straight out of a rom-com

lmao sometimes it’s so obvious that the bride doesn’T love the groom but hey!!! who’s keeping tabs :D

you love wedding environments so much that here you are, two years out of uni and a couple of gigs later — couples are LITERALLY fighting over you

heh not to brag but uh

you weren’t recognized as best wedding planner for two years in a row and have your face in multiple covers of bridal magazines and such

time magazine recognized you as one of the most influential people in the scene last year but hey !!!!! no big deal lads

“i am asking you for just one minute, y/n!! stop being a wedding planner and start being my maid of honor!!”

nayeon exasperates and tugs you by your sleeve, having already noticed your second nature of taking charge the moment you entered the hall

after all, this is just cake tasting! that’s why she’s brought her maid of honor to help her out, nOT immediately go fishing for a clipboard

“well if the planner you hired wasn’t so sloppy-...” it’s a fact! he relies too much on his tablet and doesn’t even have any paper with him, and even if he’s already using a tablet, he doesn’t even use different colors to mark out!

apparently nayeon can’t handle the truth because she’s stamping her hand to your mouth that’s already a frown, about to suffocate you if only you didn’t bite it

>:|

y/n - 1 | jisoo’s hand - 0

you’re just a lil bit cranky alright

the last wedding you’ve catered to was just three days ago, and well you’re thankful for your job!!! really!!! bc not everyone is as booked as you nor sought-for

but there’s something about her wedding that puts you off :((

she’s very kindly yet firmly told you that no, you would absolutely not be her wedding planner and coordinator

“b-but i-“

“i want you to relax! and it’s-...”

“we said-“

“we said when we were kids that we’d plan each other’s wedding, but we didn’t swear on it! and i want you to-...”

“y-you told-“

“i told you that we didn’t have a wedding planner yet so you’d intentionally clear your schedule for me! and here we are-...”

“i’ll cry-“

“aww you big baby, save it for the wedding! i told you, just relax, m’kay? let yoongi handle the planning, and you do the unwinding.”

goddamn yoongi

yoongi who’s a wedding planner in his sPARE time could fuck right off

you don’t care if he’s very persuasive and firm and happened to book nayeon’s wedding even it was peak season :((

you don’t wanna admit it, but being a wedding planner has basically been your personality trait for the past years and it’s hard to cope when your job is to not.... plan and worry

anyways besides that

you’re a little iffy because nayeon’s wedding is your wake-up call

you’ve been planning weddings.... but uh when the FUCK is yours

u are so tempted to put a sock over your head and just yell gIVE ME A RING!!! PUT IT IN THE BAG

unfortunately, you don’t even have someone in your life to readily propose to you

you would have had someone, actually —

if only hoseok didn’t wake up one day and decide to remove you from his life

if only your childhood friend didn’t suddenly decide that you’re not worthy of his attention and time!!!

god he thinks he’s a bigshot

and well yea ok he IS a bigshot

who doesn’t know jung hoseok at this point :((

you’ve always figured that he’d be successful at whatever path he chooses and for a moment, you feel sorry for him that he’s stuck in such a state of mundaneness

he’s stuck between home and school and since he has no choice — you

your each other’s day one!!! the moment your mom went home from the hospital, her first instinct was to knock on hoseok’s mom’s door and then iMMEDIATELY present you to her

the two of them are absolute best friends and why not make our babies the same way ya know????

the two of you were apparently so close as babies that when one was crying, the other would comfort

and you weren’t even a year old then????

you’ve shared cribs and milk bottles and clothes and everything in between with hobi

so why is it that when you’re just almost at the peak of your life with graduation, he just suddenly decides to drop you?

he’s suddenly too cool for you as if he hasn’t spent countless nights crying on your shoulder for any inconveniece that gets brought up

he can’t even meet your eyes :(((

that’s why graduation is the blandest and emptiest day you could recall

hoseok is over there with his bandmates looking the absolute hAPPIEST and you’re there by the corner.,.,. alone by yourself feeling like your cap has the words dropped by jung hoseok :D all over it

he’s at his peak and at the top of his life performing and touring, whenever and wherever

he’s happy

but without you in it :(

the irrational (and probably rational) part in your head is beyond infuriated at him because atleast offer an explanation!!! if you did wrong at one point, then he should tell you!!!

not suddenly pretend that you were nEVER in his life

even his mom feels guilty and ashamed over his son’s actions so she orders flowers from the shop signed underneath your company, then send it back to you

for awhile she tried to pretend that it was hoseok but no :((( that man will physically convulse if he doesn’t add (atleast) three hearts after his name

you hate him so much that you still religiously visit his instagram and wonder if he could see your likes despite a couple other million liking the same posts

you hate him so much that he’s number one on every single thing in your spotify wrapped 

you hate him sO much that you wonder who’s behind the songs his band plays and how you’d wish that you’d be the one he’s writing about

“is the cake that... perfect?”

nayeon gently places a hand on your shoulder to which you flinch and she backs off because christ i’m nOT taking the cake away from you!!!

oh my god why are you tearing up

“yeah, yeah! it’s so good. you should try it nayeon!” you’re scrambling to scrape up your plate, almost shoving the fork into her mouth as she squeals with the sudden attack

yoongi has ???? hovering around his head but this is nOT about you my man

he sneaks a look to the bride’s plate and uh-huh... yup..... she has the same moist chocolate fudge cake with coffee ganache on her alright

the topic of hoseok that you bring up to yourself, one that no one knows (not even nayeon!!!), is just something that never seems to vacate your mind fully

it’s been two years and you’re still so touchy and you dON’T KNOW WHY

he probably doesn’t even think about you when he’s drunk and bored

“this champagne must be so... nice?”

nayeon thinks out loud as you’re once again crying into doing your maid of honor duties

she’s a lil worried if she’s being honest but you always whisk her away when she’s about to ask

like right now :D

“are you-...”

“i just can’t believe you’re getting married!! wow, you’re so cool. with the love of your life. then the two of you could be cool together after the wedding. you aren’t gonna forget me once you’re married, are you? nayeon do you think that i would ever be married-...”

you should just accept it now :((

you’re a little bit of a mess and a half underneath your pantsuits and walkie-talkies and the special pride you’d carry whenever the couple mentions you in their wedding speeches

absolutely WHY in the hell do you think about hoseok when it comes to weddings???

it’s almost a pavlovian response when you instruct the people to open the doors and the bride to start walking and your mind would iNSTANTLY think about him

it’s sometimes awkward when the couple would ask ah !!!! ms. y/n u are such a world-renowned wedding planner !!!! your own wedding must’ve been magnificent :D

aha actually about dat.,.,

you get tons of gifts of gratitude from just a single client alone and you don’t have hoseok and his stupidly powerful arms to help carry boxes back to your car

you don’t have him to give untouched and left-over flowers to

you don’t have him to remind you when you’re getting a little ahead of yourself over just talking to sponsors and trying to squeeze in as much as you could for an initial budge

you don’t have hoseok, in all his glory, to put his hand on the small of your back when you’re talking to how you need the fireworks to start the moment the band starts playing ice ice baby and the vendor does nOT need to know why it’s the song chosen by the couple

it’s what he’d do when you’re trying to fit two semesters’ worth of notes into a pricey A3 notebook that you’ve bought 

and just how many weddings do you plan and coordinate, even within just a span of two week?

:)

a lot.

often.

you think about hoseok a lot. often. oftenly a lot.

but aha nOT TODAY!!!

today’s nayeon’s wedding and you’re not gonna ruin it for her by projecting your yearning into your best friend’s wedding that clearly isn’t yours

10/10 she’d probably stop reciting her vows to ask you why you’re sniffling

your only source of distraction is your gown!!!

your maid of honor is the absolute pRETTIEST and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel gorgeous in it

it’s floor-length silk!!! fLOOR-LENGTH !! SILK !! GOWN

it’s in a deep mauve with an off-shoulder situation and a little risqué bit of cleavage!!! cinches right at the top of your waist and poofs a little and oh my god mayhaps you aRE pretty

god hoseok may have not written you a song, but sean kingston dEFINITELY did

nayeon knew you’d be catching everyone’s attention as much as her wedding dress would and she’s absolutely happy and fine with it!! 

in fact she’s strategically practiced her throws for her bouquet so you’d catch it and your gown would nOt go to waste

having a wedding happen right where you are, but being in it as a guest instead of a planner, is just so much... calmer

you’re not fixing the chaos but you’re just watching it!!! if you feel a little more bubbly then you’re gonna partake in it hee-hee

yoongi’s actually not so bad

he could just be a little too lax which ends up with him being lost and distraught 

you could see so much of you in him when you were just starting out and it’s endearing actually

(( nayeon’s told you in passing that she once told yoongi that you were her best friend and he looked both intimidated and awed at the same time ))

the only thing you help yoongi with is sending him a thumbs-up every now and then and he perks uP because that’s the signal that he’s doing a good job and not fucking up

nayeon looks so beautiful and you’re already tearing up fixing her veil :((

you know how wedding photographers and videographers LOVE people crying???? they r probably eating your shit up so quick that you won’t be surprised if you take up atleast half of the same-day edit of their wedding film

there’s something so serene about the hecticness everyone’s indulged themselves in

you’re grinning when you walk down the aisle because you realize that omg you haven’t doNE this in a long time!!! 

the last time you did was testing out the aisle for a client that wanted it ala crazy rich asians and you had to walk back and forth cOLD-ASS water with damp rolled-up pant cuffs before they got the temperature and the levels right

nah you should definitely know how it’d be because after all :D you aRE the consultant for that scene in crazy rich asians :D no biggie :D

it’s such a serene blast to see everyone happy and in their element

you’re sitting the reception out bc yoongi very kindly pleaded to please give him notes and promising that he’d never tell it to anyone else

the whole planning process for nayeon and not oNCE did he bring a notebook..,., but he just hAPPENS to have one when you’re telling him how to say no to your client

“listen, you have to tell them in the sincerest way possible, that you tried everything. it gets them going when you tell them that you even pleaded with the vendors, but don’t go too low on your knees, alright? and then after that, you say a strict no. no, because their choice of flowers is absolutely sHIT for their tie-dye theme they’re so adamant about!”

yoongi has never listened so intently

not even when his roommate lists out their grocery checklist

“mhmm. and if they still push, should i give them an ultimatum? or tell them about a wedding that totally happened that did exactly what they were planning, and how much the guests hated it?”

okay nOW he’s talking

“what you do is...”

the buzz of the reception never really dies down because it’s barely even starting!! the couple’s still finishing up on their pictorial which gives everyone time to get to the venue and freshen up or get last-minute gifts lmao

you know that it’s starting when the band or the dj starts doing polished mic checks

mic check! one, two, three! sKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRA

no, no 

there’s something definitely wrong

the rolling and the lull of routine words just seem so familiar

mic check! J-A-Y! H-O-P-E! J-HOPE! jung-...

oh

my

fucking

gOD

that’s hoseok.

that is most dEFINITELY hoseok

you turn your back to see the stage set-up and god...... fuck

it’s someone you haven’t seen in the flesh for two years yet spent the years of your life with before that 

he looks sickening in his black mandarin-collared suit with thick white lining on it wITH his hair styled up and parted to the site

it’s even more sickening for you because you don’t actually know if you can mANAGE to be here

you’re standing up abruptly and yoongi squawks at that because he is the furthesT thing from being finished about asking how to make the guests arrive on time without holding a field trip assembly-like type of line with the megaphone

the fastest way out was dashing through the front part and you must have forgotten that hoseok has a knack for catching things with his perfectly good eyesight

“y/n?” 

ok what now

he mumbles your name to the mic, his eyebrows furrowing as his eyes trail the speed-walking speck of mauve from in front of him 

his little question to himself must have gotten people more than curious

they’re already mORE than curious because it’s his goddamn band that’s playing!!!! and the fees are not cheap and it’s practically impossible to book them!!!

but jungkook, their drummer, was a close friend of the groom’s and alright.,.,. okay maybe we CAN play at weddings now

ok hoseok’s mind is probably just playing tricks on him and he should finish setting up before the lights dim again for what they insist is the 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓬𝓴 𝓯𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓻

but then he can’t help but look oNE last time

then he sees the watch he’s gifted you on his wrist — one that he was supposed to give you at graduation but later made his mom give it to you instead and not say that it was from him

...

....

whew he might need his inhaler for this one and he doesn’t even hAVE asthma

oh my god what the hELL is hoseok doing here????

you haven’t seen him for two years, and the moment you do, it’s in your best friend’s wedding with no date present??

you’re clearly panicking and the only form of caffeine you’ve gotten is the pre-game of getting a few bites from the coffee ganache in nayeon’s wedding cake that she was munching on while getting her makeup done

you know what!! it’s fine

it’s totally fine :D

hoseok is just hoseok and you’re not gonna be intimated by the man you’ve been loving in the sidelines from practically your whole life :D

it’s not a big deal!

besides, people are looking for you bc you’re supposed to give the opening toast to welcome nayeon and her groom in

you’re walking, you’re talking, aaaaaaaand-

yeah this is not nOT a big deal

you’re crumbling from the inside out because seeing hoseok is just too painful after two years of wondering where you could’ve went wrong and what could’ve happened if the two of you didn’t fall out

you feel especially bitter when hoseok starts singing their famous song about love and everything in between

everyone’s sWOONING and on their feet and you’re literally just there vibrating with how furious you are

you keep downing the good champagne as iF it’s gonna get you drunk

yoongi has a clue that the server must be a little dizzy having to go and back forth to your table so he just offers his portion to you

you’re so goddamn busy and absorbed with loathing him that you don’t even turn your back to notice that his eyes keep flickering to you

even at the cheesiest lyric, hobi expects that you’d atleast LOOK at him for that one but nOOOO your champagne flute and the blondie beside you is just much more interesting

you’re buzzing with anger that you aren’t enjoying this reception At All

you fail to even recognize that nayeon’s intentionally had your favorite food to be served!!! and you have an extra portion delivered to your table!!!

you just want your suffering to eND wow absolutely how much longer could this go

you’re so busy with cussing the whole ordeal in your head that you didn’t even notice how the band isn’t playing anymore and instead everyone’s swooning over the cake

it’s lost in you that hoseok’s shooed yoongi from his chair, sitting right beside you and even scooting closer until his knees bump to your own

and that’s when it sinks in

hobi doesn’t even have time to tell you how beautiful you look because you’ve gone straight to seething him

“for the record, i want you to know that i hate you.”

...

:O

okay hoseok didn’t expect that

for all he knows, the two of you even vOWED to never say the h word even if it’s meant jokingly!!

it’s a lethal word and the two of you collectively agreed to never play with it in regards to saying to one another

but well here you are

you’re saying it as if you’ve never been more sure of anything in your whole life

you feel actually relieved to say it to him right to his face, a miniscule weight lifted from your shoulders while your arms are crossed just by looking at him

hoseok does you one better with a timid chuckle, looking down on his rings that he’s fiddling with nervously

“yeah. i hate me too.”

.... oh

you’re perplexed at his reply so much so that you’re speechless

you’ve been keeping to yourself what you should say to him the moment you see him for two years and now that he agrees to what you’ve just said.,.,.,

oh fuck that

“i hate you so much, hoseok! i don’t even know what i did wrong and i asked even your own mother what’s wrong with me! did you know that you are, without a doubt, so fucking selfish???”

you exclaim as quietly as you could but that doesn’t stop people from glancing because the two most-known people in the room, besides the bride and groom, are having what seems to be an... intimate conversation with how close the two of you are??

“did you even try once to consider how painful it was for me to wonder why i just am the way that i am? or is that even too big of an inconveniece for you to think about because you’re so busy?”

“did you suddenly get too big for me, huh?” you ask straightly without malice, not even thinking about the double meaning because clearly, you’re too PRESSED lightly jabbing your finger to his chest

right he deserves that

hoseok’s fucked up big-time, that much he knows

his eyes are actually stinging right now and he would ask you for your handkerchief that you used to always carry for him but uH he thinks he doesn’t deserve any of that

“why couldn’t you just tell me what was in your mind? you know that nothing would change whatever it was that-”

“i love you, okay?”

hoseok interrupts you with his mumble before he sets his eyes down once again on your watch

you’re speechless for long this time

“..... w-what?”

okay maybe he fucked up even more

“listen i-...”

“if you love me, a single text wouldn’t have hurt, hobi!!”

your chest doesn’t hurt anymore but it iS constricting with the amount of emotions and scenarios you’re trying to process

he’s kinda lost because oh my god you aren’t mAD anymore!!

and you don’t look fazed that he just declared his love for you

“i dropped you because i-i — i don’t want the people i love seeing me fuck up, y’know? i finished uni for the sake of it, and i didn’t even know if the band thing would work out!!”

“but baby it dID work out!!!!”

jesus christ hoseok may be a fucking iDIOT

you’re shaking him by the shoulders and he actually has to stand up so he wouldn’t fall by your ministrations

you feel so happy because your processing was just about to be finished, equal parts relieved and happy and maybe a tiny bit confused still

“it did work out because look at you now!! hobi, you could’ve just called me and i would’ve accepted the call before it even rings!!” you’re happily frustrated with him that you push him until the two of you are in the dance floor, his mouth curving up both in disbelief and giddiness

“i didn’t because i thought-...”

he’s interrupted by a swift and tight hug to his middle, his arms moving on their own to envelope you in his warmth

the top of your head still smells the same :D

his purpose is lost before he gathers his bearings once again, freezing in his stance before weakly attempting to push you off

“... you were married.”

the harsh sQUINT of your eyes you’re giving him prompt him to explain

why is he so nervous

“i-i go to your instagram? and well you uh, you posted this pic of you in the middle of the aisle???? you had your back turned and your silhouette’s seen then you were holding a bouquet!!! then after that, i-i never opened your account. jesus christ, is your husband here with you, y/n? what am i supposed to-...”

the realization’s starting to sink into hoseok because it’s something he’s shoved to the back of his head and now he’s seeing it straight-on

you’re throwing your head back laughing at him :D

great

now he’s both heartbroken AND a fool

there’s a gentle kiss on his cheek, one he didn’t expect and one he doesn’t hate

“i’m a wedding planner.”

god now this is just so fucking funny

the two of you fell out and remained distanced because of just a series of unprecedented miscommunications!!! 

the whole thing is so ridiculous that it actually feels light and relieving to talk about

“you’re.... a wedding planner,” he mumbles once again for confirmation, his loose arms around your waist now tightening

oh my god

hoseok starts chuckling to himself out of delight, turning to full-on cackles with you at how much the two of you have just been beside each other like parallel lines

“i need to make up the past two years to you.”

he declares seriously as a promise, pressing a tender wet kiss to your cheek that gets you giggling

“only if you write me a song,” you do him one better, kissing him on the corner of his mouth 

“don’t you know that most of them are about you? anyways, you should plan our wedding once it happens,” he’s forward with his words, having waited long enough that he nuzzles his nose to yours

:D

you’re gonna do him one even better

you’re gonna go right for the kill, the truth spilling out of you before you kiss him longingly, for the first time that it feels that it’s been something you’ve always yearned for

“don’t you know that you’re in my mind for every single one?”

[advernia]

around june of last year, i decided to revive my writing blog as one of the many potential stress-relief methods i could think of.... i didn’t think i’d be able to keep it active for long since work + family duties keep me preoccupied most of the time, but eyyy!!! so far i haven’t lost the motivation to keep going back to this blog, and i even managed to keep it afloat for half a year!!! amazing!!! (•̀o•́)ง

and now here we are halfway through 2020!!! it’s waaaay overdue but here’s a big T H A N K  Y O U  V E R Y  M U C H ! ! ! to everyone and anyone who dropped by this blog last year + all them likes, comments, reblogs...... please know that i’m still i n c r e d i b l y grateful for the support & interest in the content i’ve posted up!!!! tbh my activity’s still hella sporadic so it’s really amazing for me that i even gained new followers.... i’m very honored to have all of you stick around my blog despite my irregularity!!!!!!!! (༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)

it’s also overdue, but i slowly managed and finally cleaned up the blog like i’ve been meaning to do + changed the blog name to match my ao3 handle for consistency!!! i make no promises to be super active... but i’m sure that i still want to continue writing & keep this blog alive!!!! 

again, thank you all for your time + reading my works!!!!!!  ∩( ´∀` )∩ work commentary on the rest of my works last year follows under the cut!

oct 1 // hero’s journey

a drabble on blanc + oliver about the alices... now that i think of it, calling the first alice first alice is kinda funny considering that alice is really her name... or is it? 

i do hope blanc’s route talks about her a bit, haha! i mean, i wish cybird remembers that they’ve been dropping the occasional background tidbits about her... like for example, her pocketwatch (that she gave to blanc eventually) having a magic crystal engraved into it.... her potentially leaving a fucking globe in the black army’s possession (like... wow... u fell with that thing????????)....

plus, i just find it interesting that she was remembered by cradle as a heck of a troublemaker lol! it also makes you wonder who among the main cast met her, blanc aside... though it’s not stated when exactly she fell into cradle, so maybe only blanc had the opportunity of meeting her...

so does blanc speak of her fondly bc she’s a woman, or is there something else??? has he been frequently visiting the land of reason pre-game??? has he found the first alice’s antique shop / met her again??? does he still try to figure out the reason why there’s a magic crystal engraved into the first alice’s pocketwatch????? hmmmmm......

on another note, it would be hilarious if cybird pulls a peter pan 2......... since we can’t pull off a mother-daughter relationship like wendy & jane’s, what if alice the second is somehow actually related to the first alice?? and while she’s completely different from her predecessor, blanc finds himself falling for alice the second........ just like he fell for the first alice? drama!

that’s just a random thought but kidding aside, i do hope blanc’s route is hella interesting bc i think he’s our mr. exposition for knowing more about cradle itself lol

oct 1 // fair (?) ladies & phony (?) enchanters

a result of going manic a few days after seeing harr’s trailer + route release.... ahaHAHA I’M STILL WILLING TO PLAY UR ROUTE IN JP HARR (if i actually had time to sit down and translate gET REKT)

i liked writing these drabbles and i think they’re cute but tbh they did nothing to ease my curiosity about harr’s route.... if anything else, it became even w o r s e  haha........................

if i think of blanc to have a cradle-centric route, i do hope harr’s route is magic tower-centric! naturally it will be since he’s got history there, but i hope a lot of my questions about the magic tower will be answered.....

will harr’s perspective of the magic tower be in the eyes of a test subject or a disciple???? he was scouted by the magic tower, but it wasn’t stated what he was doing exactly..... going by hints + loki’s & zero’s routes, it’s more of him being a disciple, so there’s bound to be guilt.......

hopefully alice’s characterization in his route is good + we get a fun group dynamic with loki!!! their potential.... the most(?) notorious criminal of cradle, a sought after test subject, and that one girl who nullifies all magic; a renegade trio lurking around the forbidden forest.... what an odd bunch!

oct 4 // god is a five minute hymn

a religious themed fic with lancelot & alice - tbh i don’t even know why religion was the first thing that came into mind when liz and i were talking about cultural differences, lol.

on that note though! i personally like thinking that if ever cradle had a semblance of a religion, it would be polytheistic & nature-centric, and not strictly practiced - the stratocracy of both territories i’d like to think makes it harder for religion to have a voice, much less have one that is practiced by the general population. the only thing general about it is that the religion centers or has magic crystals as an important factor... or something. yeah.

that aside, i think i specifically chose lancelot in this piece for the sole reason that his canonically stated lack of common sense, in my opinion, gives him the curiosity of a child sometimes - there’s no sense of malice or doubt, just the pure innocence of wanting to know something....... religion does that to kids, especially when introduced to it at first.

rereading the fic makes me think of the instances where when faced with dire or unsettling situations, people turn to faith as a life line.... well, i’m not sure if i had that subconsciously in mind when writing alice, but that does give a spin to it....

oct 6 // flow like the river nile

a spontaneous red army-centric fic! it certainly turned out better than i expected... i liked the formatting i used for this one!

if cybird can give us more about the pre-game suitors it would be great, tbh! and while the stuff about them in school is interesting, i’d like to see more about when they assumed their positions + combat scenes! the neutrals are special cases, but knowing more about their living conditions + daily lives is also a treat...

i was thinking of adding one last snippet about lancelot in the eyes of the reds, but i scrapped it out and switched it to alice & lancelot’s conversation about duty - it could’ve worked better if i stuck to using the what is your duty? question, but i scrapped it eventually too. ah well. it does look good enough as it is. 

oct 7 // seeking out phantoms

a mandatory(???) odd one out aka content that’s not ikerev, haha! i missed fe:a all of a sudden...

i never got around to writing properly for this fandom tho, what a shame - i’ve got some bits of pieces in my drafts that looked interesting and easy enough to pick up, and this was one of them.

robin investigating more of their plegian heritage could’ve been a good subplot tbh... i still wish there was something like a paralogue or dlc about it, bc honestly the valm arc goes a bit slow until you get to the future past revelations. ah well.

and gaius bc first husband for the win.... not like i actually had the guts to marry anyone else in my other save files lololol

nov 7 // push me off a bridge (to catch me as i fall)

my longest project of 2019, holy shit! i didn’t know i still had it in me to write something past 10k... i need more of that motivation + energy....

there’s nothing much to say about this since i blabbed about everything in the post-reading notes, but as much as i fought myself to get this done, i really enjoyed writing a long fic again! hopefully i can get myself to write another one this year...

nov 18 // beloved, beloved, let me be clear

18 sentences on zero & alice + macross frontier references! man, when i really got to the point about the earrings i was thinking of sheryl a lot....

kept it in sentences cause i didn’t have enough time to put up a decent ficlet! but i really wanted to get my screaming out of my system....... i used to do sentences + three word sentences challenges before, and doing one again was pretty fun!

but really.... zero’s route kept me happy for days???? their buildup + dynamic was something i was totally w e a k for, no joke..... thank gods the collection event was going on, bc i really made good use of my stocked chapter tickets lolol!

i was especially excited come the ball scene, and that cg..... a h a h a.... i need more of those pretty cgs where i can see alice’s face + costume change....... 

nov 20 // coloring inside the lines

jonah + alice + makeup!!!! tbh this was really fun, i enjoyed writing this one - if i remember, this was a fic that i managed to continuously work on the day i thought it up!

jonah may not be my best boy but tbh i find writing him very easy - i guess it’s because i’m very fond of characters like him!!! those uptight nobles who are as prideful as hell but can definitely live up to their name + are more capable than their bragging suggests... idk if there’s a general trope name for these doods, but i especially like analyzing their motivations + convictions!!!

i liked how i ended it, but i apparently i made an actual ending that’s now a snippet in my drafts - jonah & alice head to the ball, and somewhere along some bystanders’ flow of conversation someone drops a comment about jonah’s lips looking... quite more luscious than usual, lolol. so t h i r s t y. upon hearing this, alice can’t seem to stop smiling for some reason..... 

nov 27 // blue fields, verdant skies

a practice drabble set centric on a ray/alice development that i liked so much i made it into a series - plus, it’s black army content and honestly i need to write more of them! my red army bias is showing whoooooops

it’s a feudal + arranged marriage au, with the latter... being quite spontaneous. it’s those types of marriages where neither have even met - not even once - only to face each other come the wedding... so it’s a given that audiences from both parties are rather curious how this will turn out.

since i had the theme of fate in mind, ray was the automatic pick for the male lead. the rest of the black army is a given and for kicks, i added dean and dalim! i actually want to write about them + mousse, but since i’m still unsure on their characterizations i’ve been holding them off.... but i gave in anyway.....

alice is again named for word count convenience purposes since it’s in actual 100 words aka drabble form! i have planned scenes + an ending already in mind, but going there is pretty hard bc.... i still have to write the scenes in between + resist temptation to expand further on other scenes, haha....

initially i was planning to keep it updated here as well, but any more updates of this are on ao3 instead! the formatting looks better there instead of my blog tbh, and it also gives it a sort of muted tone to the story that works with me!

this is also the 31st fic in this blog, marking an end of the challenge liz bestowed to me lolol - since i brought this blog back to life around june, i was dared that by the end of the year, i should’ve posted more than 15 fics to add up to the initial 15 i had already posted before, thus the numbers on my fics back then.... now that i actually succeeded, i can stop counting lololol!!!! tho hopefully i can still be pretty active this year....

dec 22 // duck, duck, bullet

oliver & fenrir on guns... this probably wins as the most spontaneous idea i had on my head - tbh, i wasn’t even sure where i was going with it at first! but i’m sure i was suddenly thinking about that one detective conan movie.... then it became kid!oliver with a gun.....

i wonder if he tests the bullets at night, when he’s in adult form.... then again, kid!oliver with a gun still works.... say that because he’s a genius inventor, he made some models to serve as his shooting targets.... but another thought that amuses me more is.... blanc does the bullet testing for him!?

lololol i already thought about blanc being oliver’s live target, but i also find blanc with a gun very interesting.......... i mean, blanc certainly doesn’t look like he can fight, but who knows??? i mean, mousse is the former ace of hearts, but i still can’t imagine him fighting..... appearances can be deceiving....

the two aside, i wonder how fenrir even met oliver and got him working on his bullets........ was it through blanc or other connections???? how long have they been seller and buyer???? does anyone else commission anything from oliver?????? hmmmm.....

dec 23 // terms of surrender

i’ve been told by liz + luci + other friends that i needed to practice writing more.... cheesy fluff. i’m not sure if this sirius/alice piece counts, lol. in fact, i think it’s my definition of fluff i see here - and it translates to not exactly fluffy at all!

tho if you want me to be honest about it - when i write suitor/alice stuff, how alice was characterized in the suitor’s route is still my basis for how i’ll write her, and sirius’ alice................ haha......... i think she’s the alice that’s honestly easy to write but i choose to avoid.......... 

i don’t dislike the sirius/alice dynamic per se, tho. i do find it cute, especially if cybird stops emphasizing the issue of maturity in the relationship on alice’s side. i understand - i really do - that it’s a potential issue in the relationship, but...... that’s not the only problem you can possibly have as time passes, right?????

on another note, it’s funny that only sirius gets to be harped about the maturity due to age difference issue - setting aside blanc, who heavens know how old he is, lancelot’s 29 and since alice is presumed to be around ray + fenrir’s age, you could say that she’s 24 or even 23 to be safe.... so that makes a 5 / 6 years difference but it’s never brought up, lol. but i guess it’s because unlike lancelot, the black army’s been making sirius’ age a running gag....

anyway, this piece is pretty decent! i was thinking of something along the lines of mornings between a “married couple”.... there were two scenarios i had in mind, and i opted to write this one out first.... maybe i’ll have the second one posted up here another day.

dec 28 // a chain of black thrones

pre-game!sirius & ray and bc i was thinking a lot about the previous chosen, the former jack of spades!!! i wonder if the armies have a set age for retirement lolol... it would be awesome if there was still a chosen who’s already past his 50s or something, haha!

since sirius was constantly badgered to take on the role of king, i was also wondering about how long the black army was ‘king-less’... i mean, if the tension between both armies was really as great as they say, having no king puts the black army at a precarious position... i also thought that ‘nah, maybe there was a king or something but maybe the black army didn’t like him or something so they insisted that sirius take it instead’ but sirius’ 1st anniv. epilogue says otherwise - there really was a period that the black army had no king, wow. how the heck did they deal with that???? surely the red army saw this as a display of vulnerability....

can the black army’s chosen choose to leave their posts when they feel like it??? when they’re defeated by a challenger, what happens to them - a demotion, or do they serve under the ‘new’ chosen??? does the black army’s chosen change constantly because of their meritocracy + challenger system??? like, how do they deal with that, and do they announce their changes in chosen each council meeting??? each new question just snowballed my curiosity, whoops...

there were so many angles i thought of but i decided to settle for addressing the king-less state of the black army... through the eyes of a veteran who’s probably served many kings throughout his time of service as part of the black army’s chosen.

i gave this jack of spades character a name, actually - garret folner. maybe someday i’ll write him again, bc i actually enjoyed thinking about the present + past chosen interactions - maybe i’d think about that for the red army, but this time i find the black army’s side more interesting for this situation.

dec 29 // steadfast tin soldier

a zero/alice piece for zeroweek - i was about to post pt. 1 as a standalone, but then i just thought about how.... zero bought alice a gown.... but never got to dance with her at the day of the ball..... so i rushed to add pt. 2 haha!

with the addition of pt. 2 it looks cut short tho - i did think of putting a scene in between, but no good ideas came into mind bc i was too fascinated with the dancing scene... i swear at some point i will find myself writing a fic or a part of a fic that’s a dance scene for the rest of the ikerev suitors + alice....

this is the kind of fluff i live for, actually... i’m totally fine with the steamy content cybird throws during events + bonus stories, but if i were to be honest i say.... where’s my non-sexual intimacy????? the simple, wholesome stuff?????????????????

man, i feel hilarious for typing that out..... but well, i guess it’s a matter of different strokes for different folks, lol!

[letswritebangtan]

Hii can i get a namjoon angst drabble with a fluff ending with 5, 14, and 40? Idk if youre going to be able to make it but thank you anyways 💜💚 (idkifmygrammarwasrightplsdontminditjtiridjgj)

wow ur so creative honestly it just makes writing even more fun!!

also dude, ur grammar…better than Shakespeare so i don’t see an issue

Prompts: “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?” 

                 “Take. It. Off.”

                 “Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”

“Where do you want to hang the ribbons, y/n?” your best friend Jimin asked you as he held up the violet coloured string against the wall, checking to see if it fit. 

You shrugged, “Wherever you want.”

You didn’t mean to seem uncaring but you were just exhausted. You were getting married this weekend to your other half, Namjoon. You loved that boy with your entire heart and you couldn’t wait to tie the knot with him, but wedding planning wasn’t the most enlightening activity. People were always asking you questions, there were so many decisions to make, so many things to arrange, and the list just goes on and on. However, there was one thing that really concerned you, and that was your weight. by the wAy you really shouldn’t be because you’re absolutely damn beautiful ok? end of discussion.

You had found a perfect dress a few months ago, and you felt blessed to find a dress that complimented you beautifully. But, you did feel like the dress squeezed a little too hard at the wrong places, and you were very conscious about whether your stomach protruded the front of the dress, or whether your arms looked too flabby being held by the sleeves. When you said those things, your family was like r u dumb? but in a sort of nicer way, you know what I mean? They told you that it was nonsense and you looked stunning, which you did by the way, but sometimes those thoughts linger at the back of your mind and come out in the worst of times. Like now. 

“Okay, I get it. Wedding planning taking a toll on you, huh? Well that’s not a problem, my friend, know why? Because your best friend in the whole entire world is going to take you out for some tea and cakes. What do you say?” Jimin asked as he extended his hand out toward you. 

You smiled weakly at him, “You sound super British like that. Tea and cakes? Seriously?”

He chuckled, “Hey it sounds fancy, okay?”

You nodded and then sighed softly, “Yeah, thanks, Jimin, but I’m not really hungry.”

“You don’t have to be hungry to have tea,” he tried to reason. 

You shook your head, “I’m just not feeling it, Jimin.”

He frowned slightly and let his shoulders drop. He nodded understandingly and then took your hands, pulling you up. 

“Okay, then how about we take a walk by the river? Then have some ice cream?” he suggested. 

“No, no ice cream,” you groaned. 

“Alright, alright! Just a walk then?” he pleaded. 

“Okay, a walk sounds nice,” you said thankfully, and let Jimin lead you out of the hall. 

You’ve been watching what you ate lately. You really wanted to lose every inch of extra fat that you had so that you could look nice in your dress. But you overdid it. You starved yourself too much, that you constantly felt weak and sometimes even dizzy. You felt so dead inside, like there was no energy to keep you going. ya obviously bc ur not eating, god dammit y/n, ur fam was right, u dumb but u also beautiful as hell woman.

Jimin noticed your change in behaviour, in fact, most people did. Even Namjoon could sense that something was bothering you, but every time anyone asked you about it, you’d just shrug them off. You were determined to look good in that dress, and so you ate nothing but a few slices of fruit and some water everyday. Most of the time you’d skip breakfast, and by the time lunch came around you were practically starving, but you didn’t want to eat. how stubborn tsk tsk.

Whenever people offered you food, you’d decline, not wanting any extra calories entering your system. The thought of eating put you off, and you got annoyed and irritated with people when they’d tried to get you to eat something. 

“y/n, are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look well,” Jimin asked concerned. 

“I’m fine, I just need to sleep it off,” you shrugged. 

“I don’t think you’re tired, y/n. I mean, it’s not the tiredness that’s causing this. It’s something else. You look terribly unwell,” Jimin said seriously. 

You huffed, “Jimin, I’m fine, really-”

“You’re not eating, y/n,” he cut you off. 

You shot him a stare, a very angry and disappointed one. 

“Just leave it alone, Jimin.”

The two of you didn’t say another word to each other as Jimin walked you home. You felt bad for arguing with him, he was just looking out for you. You reached the entrance of the apartment building and turned to Jimin to thank him for walking you home. He just nodded and gave you a small awkward smile, and then left. You groaned inwardly at how mean and stupid you were being. You made it a point to make it up to him tomorrow. As you walked into the building, you saw Namjoon waiting at the lobby. He turned to you and smiled, and you grinned back at him, walking over so that he could pull you into his arms. 

“Hi, baby. I didn’t think you’d be back so soon,” Namjoon said as he kissed the top of your head. 

“I was feeling a little tired, so I thought I’d leave the decorating for tomorrow,” you sighed and looked up at him. He was at least a head taller than you. 

Then you looked over and saw him carrying a white bag. You frowned in confusion and pointed to it, “What’s that?”

Namjoon glanced at the bag and then back to you. “Oh, I brought us dinner. It’s been a long time since we sat down and ate together, just the two of us, so I bought some of your favourites. I thought we could catch up on your favourite shows and munch on these.”

The mentioning of food made you feel slightly sick. 

“Oh, Joon, why didn’t you tell me you were getting dinner? I’m not really that hungry, I don’t think I could eat anything right now,” you said slightly panicked. 

He frowned, “But it’s only seven. And all you ate for lunch were some apples, right? Did you have anything after that?”

“I, um, no I didn’t, but I’m really quite full,” you tried to reason. 

He shook his head, “No, y/n, you need to eat. Plus I already bought all this food, I can’t let it go to waste. Just eat some of it, at least. Please, babe?”

You sighed in defeat. You had already fought with Jimin, you didn’t want to upset Namjoon too. Maybe you’d eat like five grains of rice and a little bit of soup. That didn’t sound too bad. five grains of rice??????? wtfdjskddjs

Once inside the apartment, Namjoon went to prepare the plates and scooped some food onto yours before bringing it back to the sofa where you were trying to find something nice to watch. He handed you the plate and your stomach churned just looking at that pile of calories. You took the plate from him hesitantly and mumbled a small ‘thanks’ and he sat down next to you with his own food. The two of you watched the movie as you ate, but you had hardly eaten a spoonful of anything. Namjoon was already finished with his food when he saw that the food on your plate was untouched. 

“Everything okay, y/n?” he asked concerned. 

You looked at him and smiled, “Yeah, all good.”

He nodded back at you and then went to the kitchen to do the dishes. From the kitchen, Namjoon saw that you were picking apart grains of rice on your plate, and pushing some meat aside, but you weren’t actually eating anything. Then he took in your figure. You were so damn skinny, you felt like a pile of bones. He felt how weak you were when he hugged you earlier, and your face just wasn’t as bright anymore. It was dull, weakened, you looked starved. Namjoon thought back to these past few months, and he realised that he never saw you eat a proper meal, not even once. Your excuses were that you weren’t hungry, or that you had already eaten, but Namjoon wasn’t with you 24/7 to observe what you ate everyday. Since the wedding was coming up, the two of you had to run around and sort out different things, so Namjoon would always call to ask if you’ve eaten and you would always say yes but who’s to say that you actually did?

It saddened him very much, to see his soon to be wife look almost malnourished. He figured he’d have to ask you about it now, and this time he wasn’t going to let you shrug it off so easily. So he marched back into the living room, and turned off the television before sitting next to you. 

“Hey, what was that for?” you asked. 

“y/n,” he sighed, “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”

You paused for a moment, looking down at your plate, and then faced him again. 

“Nothing’s wrong, Joon. I’m just not hungry,” you said calmly.

“Well why aren’t you hungry, y/n?” he asked in a more serious tone. 

You took a deep breath and then exhaled loudly, placing your plate on the coffee table. 

“If this is about wasting the food then-”

“y/n, this is not about the food. It’s about you. Why aren’t you eating?”

You huffed, “What is it with people forcing me to eat all the time? I’ll eat when I want to!”

“You’re starving yourself,” he snapped. 

You looked at him angrily, “Am not!”

“Yes, you are, y/n! I haven’t seen you eat a proper meal in months. Whenever people offer you food, you reject it. Whenever someone asks you out for breakfast, lunch, dinner, whatever it may be, if it involves food, you don’t want it. Why? Why is that, y/n? What the hell are you up to?” he argued. 

That’s when you let a tear fall. You stood up and began to walk towards the stairs but Namjoon held your hand tightly and pulled you back. 

“I won’t let you walk away from it this time, y/n. You have to tell me what’s going on. I’m really worried about you, we all are! Just look at you y/n, you look so fragile as if me just holding you could shatter you into pieces. This is extremely bad for you,” he said holding you tightly. 

You exhaled shakily and let out a small sob. “Namjoon, let me go.”

“You know I can’t do that,” he said sympathetically. 

You let your head fall onto Namjoon’s shoulder and he held you firmly, caressing the back of your head. You cried and cried while he rubbed your back, soothing you. You let everything out, all your pent up anger and sadness, all your pain, all the frustrations you felt towards yourself, you cried it all out. 

“You’re right,” you wailed. “Oh god, you’re so right. I’m sorry, Joon, I really am.”

He sighed, “Baby, don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”  

“I wanted to look nice in the dress,” you cried, struggling to breathe properly. 

“You mean the wedding dress?” he asked in confusion. 

You nodded, sniffling. 

“y/n, what are you talking about? That dress looked gorgeous on you, so much that it appalled everyone. Do you know how much I wish I was there to see it?”

“B-but it shows my stomach, a-and it makes me look big-”

“y/n,” he stopped you. “Who told you those things, hm?”

You sighed, “No one.”

“Did anyone ever tell you how insanely beautiful you are? Inside, and out?” he asked as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. 

“N-no,” you faltered.

He tutted, “Are you sure?”

You looked up at him and he was smiling softly down at you. He was cupping your cheeks in his big hands, wiping the tears running down your face. 

You laughed softly, “You. You did.”

He nodded, “That’s right, baby.”

“There is nothing wrong with you, y/n. Absolutely nothing. There should never be a reason for you to do such a thing to yourself. I love you so, so much, and only because you’re you. You are everything that I could possibly want, and I’m honestly so lucky to have you. So don’t even think about changing yourself in any way because I love this,” he paused to pinch the sides of your hips, making you squeal.

“And this,” he continued, and then moved his hands down to squeeze your ass, making you laugh wholeheartedly. 

“And this,” he said moving his hands to your breasts but you were quick to stop him, making the two of you burst into a fit of giggles. 

Then he moved his hands to your face, squeezing your cheeks, “Also this,” he murmured, and then moved forward to kiss your lips. 

“I love all of this. I’m in love with all of you, y/n,” he breathed out finally.

You looked up at your fiancé with so much adoration, and let out another small cry. 

“Baby, no, why are you crying now?” he asked concerned, quickly wiping the tears from your cheeks. 

“I just, I love you so much, Joon. I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” you sniffled. 

He smiled softly at you, and kissed you again, pouring all of his love and lust into the kiss. Soon the two of you were kissing each other feverishly, hands everywhere. Namjoon pulled away first, gasping for air. 

“y/n, I want to see you,” he said breathily. 

You gasped and looked at him eyes half closed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, baby. If I can, that is?” he asked carefully. 

“Of course you can,” you groaned and kissed him again. 

Namjoon pulled your shirt off of your body, and then moved to unclasp your bra, but um, he was taking too long.

“Take. It. Off.” you groaned impatiently. 

“It’s not my fault these things are so complicated,” he whined. 

You loved your sweet and silly fiancé. 

ok joon. we get it

I hope this was okayy I tried my best. thank you so much for requesting! do help to like and reblog pretty please

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @aubzylynn for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Aubrey, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

I think I was 12. My best friend at the time and I wrote Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings fanfic. We also put ourselves into the stories as OCs. I also wrote for Full Metal Alchemist, InuYasha, I also had my own HP fics, and I think I even had an Eregon oneshot at some point when I started lol. I’m confident there’s more, but it’s been such a long time.

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I actually really enjoy both. Like, with reader inserts, I can inject a lot of my (or my friends) quirks and fears and insecurities into the reader and get messages back from readers saying that they really connected with the story or the reader. And OC’s are always fun because they have their own personality and it’s fun for me to figure out who they are.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Fluffffffff. Yall know I can’t write a story without a happy ending.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

Surprisingly, I don’t think I have one. They’re all fine. I wish I had time to go through and kind of update a few of them, but there’s not really any that I’m super embarrassed by.

5) When is your preferred time to write?

First thing in the morning. Right after I wake up. It doesn’t happen very often, but it’s easiest then. I’m not bogged down by my jobs or my brain. It’s easiest to get into a good headspace.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Usually from Sarah or other friends–the stories they tell, the things I read or see.

7) What’s your favorite scene that you’ve written?

Hmm..there’s a scene in my 40’s series that I’m pretty proud of. The reader, Bucky, and Steve are all reunited at long last and it’s really sweet and I dunno I really just love it.

But, if we’re going off of fics that I’ve posted…this is probably going to sound so bad, but the Kennedy assassination in Control was interesting to write. I actually watched old news footage of it. The chaos, the panic, the craziness, and then having her reunite with the Soldier and there’s a little spark is just ugh. It’s one of my favorites.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Not yet. Luckily, my followers and readers have been incredibly kind. I’ve never really had any hate or criticism for my stories.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

This should be easy to tell, but it’s Bucky. Lol He’s got such an interesting depth and so many layers and I know I always write him so soft and loving but I also love to read fics where he’s the Soldier and the ones that explore the different sides of him. Someday I want to write those different shades of Bucky.

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

I don’t have a whole lot of experience writing a lot of the characters, so I can’t really pick one. It feels unfair. I would like to write more for other characters to be a stronger author and to have some variety.

11) How do you come up with the titles for your stories?

I’m so unoriginal when it comes to titles, tbh. Like, my most creative one was Nomonakalo and that’s literally because I was looking for “apocalypse” in Xhosa. But I didn’t like any of the translations for “apocalypse” so I looked up synonyms until I landed on “devastation,” and here we are. The others, are song titles, like Control. And some are a word or two about the story, like Midnight Snack, or Partner.

12) What do you think is the best idea you’ve had for a story so far?

Nomonakalo is the best idea I’ve ever had. I hope to continue it someday even though it didn’t get a lot of love. I also have a Princess Bride au on ice in the back of my brain that I’m pretty sure is gonna be fantastic.

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Oh god so many. My poor babies. I’m not inspired by the request or they’ve gotten to be too big for me to handle.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

Maybe Partner or Blind Date. Or even a sequel to Cuddle Drabbles, but the focus would be on Steve instead. I’ve been playing with the ideas of a Steve Cuddle Drabbles for a really long time.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Road to Schkeuditz. I hated that it ended so angsty. I wanted to do more, but I didn’t know the timeline and when Bucky would wake up. But I think I might write a little something someday about the reader visiting him in Wakanda after he’s healed.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

I have so, so many, but I’m gonna do the first three that came to mind.

I admire @sarahwroteathing. I know she’s my best friend, but guys. G u y s. Sarah’s so talented. I admire her work ethic and how hard she works on her stories. Soundtrack has been giving her grief for over a year, and she’s still working on it. It’s still one of the best stories I’ve ever read and it amazes me how much care she puts into her writing.

@soldatbarnes is also another great friend and amazing author. I also love how she perseveres through her tough times. She amazes me. I’ll see her posts about not being inspired to write, or wishing she had more time to do so, and then she’ll come out with an amazing story that’s beautifully written. She’s incredible.

@bitsandbobsandstuff is fucking phenomenal. I love her writing. It’s so in depth and wonderfully crafted. I aspire to be as amazing as she is.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

I’m probably gonna get hate for this, but i can’t reread the Cuddle Drabbles. It’s my first time writing and posting for the MCU and I can tell. It’s cringey to me. But I get such sweet messages about it every now and again, and I can’t bring myself to change it.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

I do it both ways. Sometimes a focus playlist is needed and other times my brain can’t think if there’s any noise. Just depends on what it is.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Yep. Chin Up, Princess made me cry. It was what I needed someone to say to me, and having it come from Tony just made me more emotional than I had anticipated.

20) Which part of your fics have been the hardest to write?

I overthink action scenes. I struggle with thinking it sounds forced or unorganic, sometimes.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

Umm both. I make an outline just to know where I’m going, but sometimes it diverges because it’ll flow a different way while I’m writing it.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction?

How addicting the praise can be, and sometimes it doesn’t seem like enough. I love getting sweet messages more than I could ever attempt to tell you.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Yes. Nomonakalooooooooo. My poor baby. I worked the hardest on it and it has the least amount of notes of any of my fics.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

No, not really. Sometimes, I’ll see someone start the Cuddle Drabbles or Road to Schkeuditz and I’ll think “oh here we go, they’re gonna flood my notifications with likes” but I mean that’s the most that happens lol

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Um, a few. But, it’s pretty minor. The reader in A December Deception has some of Sarah’s mannerisms, and Morgan in Handsome Stranger is basically my friend Morgan. I have an OC in my 40’s series based on my friend Cassidy, and the reader’s best friend in a wedding fic is essentially Sarah. (I mean, she’s marrying Steve. How could I not make her the bride? Lol)

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Sarah called Nomonakalo “emotionally excellent” and I still haven’t recovered from it. She sent me an email responding to everything. It was practically an essay. I still reread it when I feel like quitting.

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

“The reader says ‘dude’ too much,” and “focus more on Bucky’s feelings.” I don’t really get a whole lot of negative feedback.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

Sarah and Cassidy are pretty much the people I’ll run to. But, I will keep them close to my chest if I’m not sure I want to proceed with the story or not.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

Some do, yeah. My friend Ashlee actually found some of my writing and actually read it. I wasn’t prepared for that. It’s unclear if my family knows that I still do, but they definitely knew that I did when I was a kid.

30) What’s your favorite minor character you’ve written?

Probably Sam in Road to Schkeuditz. I had a lot of fun with him!

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Feedback. It really does keep me going. Seeing others enjoying what I’m writing about keeps me motivated to finish a story.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

So, after deliberation with Sarah, I’ve realized that I don’t have a favorite to write. I haven’t written enough to really have a favorite!

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

The first fic ever? No. God no. I can’t remember. It was probably my friend’s HP fanfic. I can remember the first fic I read for supernatural was from Mimi, and the first from the MCU was from Tesla. But I don’t remember what the stories were.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Fluff. Always fluff. I can’t have a story end on a sad or bad note. It always has to have a happy ending.

[murasakiyuzu]

43 + a ship of your choice!

is it

is it still a drabble if its 1k? sweats

i guess i should practice drabbles a bit more lmao………

but this rly helped me get my Writing juices running again, so thank u for sending me a prompt, @satyr-syd! i hope ull like this silly thing, i rly admire u and ur writing

edit: read on AO3 here!

Oikawascurries into Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s shared apartment, banging the door shutand pressing his back against the reassuring solidity of wood. His chest isheaving and his hair… is as perfect as ever, somehow. Yet, out of habit,Oikawa raises a hand to fiddle with his bangs.

In theliving room couch facing the door, Hanamaki and Matsukawa turn their heads toregard him with twin aloofness. Hanamaki is lying on the couch with his headpillowed on Matsukawa’s lap, while his boyfriend is holding a bunch of grapesin one hand and seemingly using his other one to pop one purple pearl at a timeinto his beloved’s waiting mouth.

Oikawaspares one thought to how ridiculous his best friends are before he letshimself slide down against the door and sits on the floor.

After aminute of silent observation, Hanamaki and Matsukawa resume their earlieractivities.

“Aren’tyou going to ask me why I’m here?!” Oikawa protests while Hanamaki blissfullychews on a grape.

“Thisgirl on TV said it’s best to not pressure your friends into telling you theirproblems and just wait for them to come forward on their own,” Matsukawatells him lightly, pushing a grape between his own lips.

Oikawaopens his mouth and grapples for a retort, but ultimately groans infrustration.

Hanamakiglances at him with a smirk. “What’s your problem today, pretty boy?”

The airaround Oikawa seems to brighten up; whether it’s because he’s finally receivingthe attention he wants or because he’s been called pretty, it’s hard to tell.Perhaps it’s both.

“Youknow about Iwaizumi Hajime, right?”

Matsukawablinks. “The Iwaizumi Hajime in the same year and major as me? The guy yousaw talking to me on my way out of Art History class and proceeded to shamelesslyintroduce yourself to and spent three entire days telling me he’s been sculptedby the gods? That IwaizumiHajime?”

Oikawafrowns, but there are splotches of red and pink across his cheeks. “Yeah,that one.”

Matsukawaleans back on the couch with a satisfied little grin. “What abouthim?”

“Well…”Oikawa wrings his hands in a rare show of awkwardness. He usually plows througheven the most embarrassing of stories with a devil-may-care smile, so Matsukawaand Hanamaki’s joint interest is obviously piqued.

“Weeeeell…?” the two echo him inteasing coos. Oikawa glares at them and breathes deeply.

“We’vebeen hitting it off pretty well since we met. I may look like an asshole when Isay this, but I didn’t expect him to be so thoughtful when he’s all big andmacho and… has beautiful tan skin and gorgeous arms and-”

“Focus,lover boy,” Hanamaki sing-songs.

Oikawapouts, but gets back on track. “Anyway, I haven’t had the best of luck inguys-”

“Becauseyou keep picking pushy ones,” Matsukawa interjects.

“Letme finish!” Oikawa shrieks, offended. “As I was saying, even though all the boys I’ve dated were gorgeous,things never seem to work out. We were on different wavelengths.

“Ithought Iwa-chan would be just like that and I decided to try harder to make itwork this time. But he’s completely different from everyone else! We had a few datesand he’s been really respectful of boundaries without my needing to tell himanything; he didn’t even force a kiss on me right on the first date!”

Hanamaki staresat him, long-suffering. “Did you come here just to sing Iwaizumi’s praisesinto the next century? We get it, you’re dating a literal prince.”

Matsukawa wordlesslyslides another grape into Hanamaki’s mouth, and he reaches a hand to Matsukawa’scheek, giving him a smitten smile. Before Hanamaki can tack on a “you’renot the only one” or something equally sappy, Oikawa continues with hisstory.

“I’llget to the point if you stopinterrupting, damn it. Anyway, in our last date, I told him I’m gray-ace. Ithought… he needed to know there’s a possibility I’ll never feel like havingsex with him, and he took it really, really well. He told me he’s dated ace peoplebefore, which explained why it’s been so easy with him.”

“Doyou want to marry him?” Matsukawa asks with a knowing smirk.

“Iwant to marry him!” Oikawa answers with a groan, burying his face in hishands.

“Then,why are you here now and not getting a dog with him or something?”

Oikawasighs and looks up at them once more. “We were hanging out in my apartmenttoday and watching a volleyball match on TV, and we started… making out alittle bit halfway through. We got into the subject of sex, but we were kind ofjust joking around… and I… may have said we should get neon condoms andsimulate a lightsaber duel…”

“YOUDID WHAT?!” Hanamaki screeches and springs up in the couch, very nearlyknocking his forehead against Matsukawa’s.

“I WASJUST JOKING, OF COURSE I WOULDN’T-”

Hanamaki isdoubling over in scandalous laughter while Matsukawa is just giving Oikawa areally puzzled look.

“Ican’t believe it… You said that… Oh my God, what would your fangirls say…The cool and smooth Oikawa-san…” Hanamaki wheezes. Matsukawa brushes apacifying hand against his boyfriend’s back when he starts coughing.

“Idon’t think that’s a reason to come here running,” Matsukawa says with a thickbrow raised.

“It istoo!” Oikawa cries out. “You didn’t see it- He just froze up and gaveme this really horrified look!”

“OIKAWA,YOU PROPOSED TO SWORDFIGHT WITH YOUR DICKS!” Hanamaki positively hollers,and there are tears in his eyes. Matsukawa finally breaks and sputters.

Oikawalooks red as a tomato and ready to flee, and Matsukawa knows the next place he wouldgo to is their university, and that’s one hour away. Better keep him close.

Matsukawabreathes in and puts on his best “voice of reason” face. “Listen,I’m sure you just surprised him. Did you even try to talk to him afterthat?”

“No, Ijust ran here,” Oikawa says meekly and curls in on himself. “What amI gonna do? Iwa-chan was perfect and I ruined everything.”

Matsukawarolls his eyes. “Look, Oikawa, what you need to do now is…”

A ringtone fillsthe air—an overlycheerful pop song that’s Oikawa’s new addiction. Matsukawa snaps his mouth shutas Oikawa tremulously retrieves the phone from his hoodie’s front pocket. He staresdown at the screen, and his panicked gaze tells them enough without words.

“Justtalk to him already,” Hanamaki sighs, peach-pink from his laughing fit.“If he’s that much of a prince, I’m sure you two can move away from thislittle incident.”

Oikawainhales deeply and exhales, nodding resolutely. Hanamaki and Matsukawa watchquietly as Oikawa picks up Iwaizumi’s call.

“Hey,Iwa-chan. Yes, it’s just- I’m really sorry, I said something stupid and freakedyou out. If you can just leave it…” A pause follows as Oikawa listens towhatever Iwaizumi has to say. Hanamaki has to hold in the whim to ask Oikawa toput the call on speaker. “Uh… No, it’s nothing, you should just forgetabout it…” Oikawa frowns at his legs, criss-crossed on the floor. Hesighs. “It’s from Star Wars, Iwa-chan. You know about Star Wars,right?”

Hanamaki issnickering again and Matsukawa has to lightly slap his thigh so he’ll get agrip. Oikawa’s bashfulness turns into shock.

“You’ve never watched Star Wars?! Iwa-chan! Still, most people know about thelightsabers, have you been living under a rock?” Oikawa stops, then gaspsin mock-offense. “You brute! We’re going to watch every one of the movieswhen I get there!”

Iwaizumisays something, and Oikawa is clearly melting with relief in front of his bestfriends. He smiles to himself. “Yeah, I know. Thank you, Iwa-chan.”

Oikawahangs up and drops the hand with the phone, seemingly lost in thought.

“Nowthat that’s taken care of,” Matsukawa says, breaking the silence,“can we commoners get a bit of time for ourselves? There’s some making outin order here as well.”

“Alright,alright,” Oikawa sighs and gets up from the floor. He smiles and opens hismouth to say something, but then halts. “I was going to thank you, but youdidn’t help at all.”

“You’rewelcome!” Hanamaki chirps and entwines his arms around Matsukawa’s neck.“Make us your best men at the wedding, alright?”

Oikawahuffs indignantly and leaves with a carefree wave of his hand. The door clicksshut and Hanamaki plants a kiss on Matsukawa’s cheek.

“Now, wherewere we?”