#people with adhd can experience this too

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Dyspraxia and Autism/ADHD

Neurodiversity Manitoba

[bonefall]

I recognize a lot of ADHD symptoms in Nightheart too.

The thinking everyone hates him is a big thing, taking rejection harder than it should be,

You're right... the Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria... I am Nightheart's therapist and I am slapping him with so many mental illnesses.

[bugfail]

Lord Hater has ADHD (to me) but y'all aren't ready for that conversation

[macroglossus]

being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED

[avelera]

On the one hand, I see insightful meta that points out how Stede always listens to Ed’s confessions and internal conflict but Ed doesn’t do the same for Stede.

Ed didn’t listen when Stede said he also felt like he was drowning, Ed just bulldozed right through to his own point, and when Stede was worrying about if Mary declared him dead as an act of spite, Ed just ignored him, and maybe if he had listened he’d have understood some of the internal conflict Stede was facing before he ran off. Maybe, Ed needs to learn to listen to Stede too, and that’s a flaw he’ll have to overcome in S2…

… and on the other hand, as someone with ADHD who also gets selective hearing and a weird attention span whenever I’m in my own thoughts, a lot like Ed in those moments, I’m just like

… maybe Ed needs to improve on those things but uh, maybe it’s just how his brain works and Stede could just, y’know, gently draw his attention to the fact Ed didn’t hear him just then. Just as a courtesy. (Please, I swear we’re not trying to be rude!)

[hella1975]

im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia

[orangerosebush]

In my opinion, Artemis and Angeline have very similar experiences of paranoia as a symptom of

And thus every single family vacation will have a like, medieval war general moment where you can watch them animatedly debate the merits and/or weak points of whatever barricade they've constructed in front of the hotel room door

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

neurodiverse tumblr friends, I have some autism questions!! if you have autism, and especially if you were older when you found out about it: at what age did you begin to suspect you had autism? when/if you got an official diagnosis and how you went about it? would you recommend pursuing a diagnosis or at least talking to a medical professional about autism to someone wondering if they may have it? to you, what are the benefits of having a diagnosis/not having a diagnosis (depending on which one applies to you)?

[goldiipond]

don and emma best friends. one of my greatest truths

[fagryanlucan]

the more I replay the game the more I firmly believe alex has cptsd and anxiety, steph has adhd, ryan has autism

[nbstevonnie]

since i know that tumblr is going to ignore the fact i put a readmore there i guess i'll just talk in the tags

edit: how did i literally know you were going to do that tumblr, why are you like this. take two. not that it matters since it's all in the tags anyway.

[autisticlee]

I want to be rich enough to afford my own business, then live off that so I don't have to work for anyone else and can make my job meet my own needs/comfort that other jobs cannot. getting and keeping a job as an neurodivergent and/or disabled person in a neurotypical and ableist society is so frustrating and overwhelming. they refuse to meet your needs, accommodate you, blame you for your struggles, and are hardly ever accepting, because you're a "burden" to them and don't meet their ridiculous expectations so you get rejected or fired! the only choice is to do it yourself!!!!! but even starting/running businesses seems to be greatly gatekept by them too 😭

one problem is that it seems only people who are already rich can start their own physical business, in this world today. only people who don't really need to work because they're born into money can make money off their own work. then they call it hard work and pulling their boot straps or whatever 🙄 so they just hire others to do all the work for them and take most the profits. then tah-dah, they have a successful business and only had to tell some people what to do and let them all do the rest for them. I can't afford anything that goes into my own business, especially the physical shop and hired help. my living situation makes it difficult to work from home because I live in a walk-in closet sized room with the entirety of my belongings squished into the small space. i'm trying my best to make things to cell (currently stickers, art prints, 3d anime/video game figures, etc) but it's so difficult and stressful.

or alternatively, get lucky, or have social skills and spoons, to get popular enough online so you can start online first or even full time. you usually have to be super social and interesting online to gain a following who supports you and becomes your fan. not everyone is lucky to have an enticing personality (I barely have one at all 😔) and the spoons to consistently keep up with the demand to keep people interested and continuously supportive. most people online treat it all as a competition and won't help others. they refuse to share your stuff or give advice or work together. they just care about themselves and their business.

the only real advice I got is "be consistent," which i'm sure any chronically ill, disabled, or ND person knows that's basically impossible. some days are good, some weeks are horrible and you can't do anything. that's why i'd work better with a team of others so we can fill each others gaps and stay seemingly consistent, if that makes sense. if there's multiple of us, at least one of us should have the spoons to keep things going! right???? but most online businesses are single-person run and they don't want to share and split anything, even if it's just a small collab for fun (I experienced first hand how gross fellow creaters can be to each other because they treat it as a competition instead of a collab and opportunity to enjoy working together and boost each other up. I will never forgive the bts fanart community for how snobby, childish, and bullying many of the "bigger" were behind closed doors! and smaller ones that licked their boots! ive also heard similar stories about other communities and places, like twitch, youtube, etc.)

then there's the whole business managing thing and promoting and all that. i'm a nobody on the internet, so even if I did online business only to start, no one will notice me or help! (I've actually tried before multiple times in the last almost decade and sold nothing but still struggled to keep up 😅) i barely have the executive functioning spoons to take a shower more than once a week 😭 running a business all alone with all the factors pitted against me? how! i can't hire help if no one pays me lmao

when i've asked for help before, even just asking friends to share my stuff, I get slapped with the whole "stop caring what people think about your work/numbers aren't important/do it because you want to and enjoy it/etc" and that's so insulting because it makes me feel like they're trying to say my work is horrible and worthless and I don't deserve to live off my hard work!!!!! (I'm no longer friends with these people)

what it comes down to is, I always feel like my only choice to actually work and possibly afford to survive is to start my own business????? I can't live off my parents forever and part time minimum wage jobs that I could *maybe* get (even if I was rejected from 200 of them in 2 months...) including the one I fo now are so painful, boring, unfulfilling, and/or stressful and not worth it! but no one will hire me for anything better because no experience and you need experience to get experience. or you need a degree and need money to get a degree but need degree to make money. and it's a whole paradox that is impossible for someone like me to get through. I get rejected at every interview for being autistic. i'm burnt out trying. I feel like i'm at a dead end and don't know what i'm supposed to do?

do any other autistic/ND/disabled people feel the same way?

I usually get told to "wait and it will happen one day" but this is life we are talking about!!! life doesnt wait!!!!! i'm not a teen/20s with ~my whole life ahead of me~ i'm getting older fast and have zero openings or paths that I can take alone. I know my disabled limits and it means I can't just make things happen like other people. I can't live independently or get a normal job, etc. I cant wait around forever and hope I get lucky. i've never experienced any luck so I don't believe it will help me. so I put in what work i'm capable off all the time instead of waiting, but see no useful results. I do my best despite what people on the outside see and tell me (I'm so fucking tired of hearing i'm Not Trying, Giving Up Too Easily, Being Too Negative, Refusing To Leave My Confort Zone, Not Believing In Myself and etc. it's NOT true. I don't care if that's how it looks. being disabled is NOT those things!!!! just because normal daily things takes more spoons and energy and effort for me than you, I need more help, and I dont have the ability to physically or mentally do certain things, (which means doing things beyond that is nearly impossible in most cases,) doesn't mean Those Things. no one understands how hard I try, how much I struggle, and how frustrating it is for it to all crash down, never work, and not matter. only very few people in similar situations understand and don't try to push me. I NEED SUPPORT not someone to remind me of how much I fail because I can't meet NT and abled expectations and do things THEIR way!

anyway, I fell into huge rant....is it possible for us to come together and make a ND/disabled-led business and only hire others like us? that would be cool and helpful. if I could start my own business, I want it to be mostly friendly/inclusive/accommodating to ND/disabled people. NTs/ableds have to follow our "rules" for once. a safe business/work space made for us, by us. it would be hard, but so beneficial to those involved 😭

[holyluvr]

Not to mention that over the past years, fascists have been slowly taking more and more language for people with schizo and dissociative disorders into their hate-speak/signals to other fascists. (And intellectual disability, but I don’t have one so I don’t think I want to talk on that rn)

Instead of seeing anyone say, “that’s fucked up, and you’re cowards for this”. Wanna know what I’ve seen besides no one noting it? “Watch out for anyone who uses these words!”.

Those words are necessary for psychotic and dissociative people to speak on our experiences, created for us to use, created to speak of us, and those words came from our marginalized lives. And you’re spreading the word that they belong to people who want me dead and have a history of violence to people like me, of eugenics, of fucking homicide, for the literal reason of being mad?

How fucking dare y’all? Both the fascists and the leftist hypocrites. Honestly. “Watch out for [language used by mentally ill group at extremely high risk of violence who still don’t have equal rights] in case they’re a fascist!”. You think that’s ever appropriate to say about people on the schizophrenia and psychotic spectrum disorder, with common persecution paranoia, and to people with DID— which I don’t think I should have to explain why that’s wrong when it’s a group of people who were hurt so badly that they lost their identities and memories?

Are you’re seriously throwing us under the bus and forgetting that the second listed people on the Genocides that have happened in history(and probably ongoing ones too) reads “[ethnicity depending on region], disabled people,…”? Or how the USA psychiatric system was built around eugenics of us, similar to many other countries? That lobotomies didn’t start to end in the USA until the 1960s? That the reason they stopped was financial cost of overcrowded hospitals and being given an antipsychotic that could do the same to us chemically without the procedure?

It wasn’t out of compassion and remorse for their abuse towards us, and I’m not sure if people are overlooking that common sense fact blaring at you when you know how cruel the system is still to this day. & no one saved us.

Both of these groups are already watched by fascists, fyi. Both of these groups are already at a higher risk than average to experience abuse, fyi. Both of these groups face constant social pressure, alienation, disconnection, mockery, and being the punchline of jokes whilst the shock-horror in movies, fyi. The last thing both of these groups needs is people to once again use them as pawns for their gain or more false accusations and misinformation, for your fucking information.

You’re focusing on the dog whistles that are using vulnerable populations to spread hatred as the problem while trying to hide themselves from consequences, but there’s no thought that Nazis are fucking us over and further demonizing us? You’re doing their job for them by pushing the idea that insanity = threat. You’re further harming a group who has no solid protections.

And hilariousssss how an alt right assholes on the net can use our language obnoxiously and incorrectly without anyone batting an eye, but if someone liberal with wild hair and makeup is using that language and says that they have the disorder, your first thought is judgement about them lying or being an attention seeker, you screenshot and make a joke about the person, showing them to thousands as a joke.

Fuck you. I have every right to be paranoid and bite at this point. Fuck you.

[indigodawns]

.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

kompenscovery was such a blessed secret entrance to a Whole Deal (winnie n tay. & i guess billions) when like. having the most specific, correct opinions, and being me, = the ideal is [nobody else try to talk to me about winston billions] and that’s just where we’re at. this is an exclusive experience

[girlvinland]

Ok bear with me this kind of exploded in the tags bc I just started thinking about it more and like ohh.

Random thought came to me this morning about how when I use to RP Will I HC’d the mask being a thing he used to kind of blot out some of the world because it all felt so loud and bright and it was easier for him to focus his psychic energies with it on, but then I was like wait this sounds familiar to my own experience and maybe I just didn’t realize the connections then but I have pretty bad photosensitivity and get overstimulated/overwhelmed super easy when I’m in crowds and things like that and now I’m like. Ah. If I had known it then I think I just would’ve made that part of the HC lol.

Also it’s just a fucking. Blast to the past looking at that old blog. I am still kinda proud of the name tbh lol bc it was @d-esper-ado (like desperado but with esper in the name, yeah it’s cheesy whatever).