#peri grows out his hair for the first time since he was like 23 after the events of the game

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

nice suit dumbass, did your husband pick it out for you?

[sokuly]

Things about top surgery (will be a long post; hang on and read whatever topic you need)

I had a double incision mastectomy with free nipple grafts with Dr. Daniel Medalie on May 18, 2017. Here’s just some things I personally have experienced that may help others pursuing top surgery, wether or not it’s with Dr. Medalie. Before scheduling: I got into contact with Valerie, his receptionist. She’s very helpful and will try to answer any questions you might have. I live about 2 hours away from Cleveland, so it was up to me if I wanted an in person consult or just over email. I got my therapist letter and photos of my chest ready and sent out. Photos via email. The consult was $60. When I heard back, he signed off on my therapist note, and told me I was borderline for either surgery; peri vs double incision. He said he would need to see me in person to make that call, but it could wait until the day of surgery. I wanted to know what to prepare for so I went to Cleveland about 2 weeks after. I was not charged for this in person meeting. He told me he could do peri if I was concerned about the scars that DI would give, but he would prefer DI as he was worried about the extra skin. Ultimately it was my choice. I was hoping for so long I could get peri and not have scars. However, I wanted the most aesthetically appealing option. I didn’t want extra skin. I didn’t want “unknown” nipple landing, especially with the extra skin. I made my decision of DI, based on Dr. Medalie having more control of nipple placement, contour, and removal of the extra skin. I got home and pondered when to schedule. Before surgery: I scheduled about 2 months prior, and was hoping for a Friday date, but was told he doesn’t operate on Fridays so I took the Thursday, which was fine with me. I think it was about a $250 deposit to schedule. In those 2 months, it was more of me focusing on work and not really thinking of surgery, except applying for CareCredit. About a month out, my fiancé and I started putting some things together for the trip to Cleveland: food, post op care (light food like crackers, blankets, clothing, etc.), money, who’s taking care of the cats while we’re gone, and so on. We stayed at a Super 8 in Beachwood, OH (it’s like 10 minutes away from the surgery center and his office). We went to Cleveland the day before my surgery. On our way, the surgery center called to confirm my appointment, 9:15am and to arrive an hour early. We got to the hotel around 2:30-3:00pm. My grandparents and dad also came with us, different hotel room. They bought dinner. I couldn’t stop pacing. It was hard to get to sleep. Day of: I naturally woke up way before my alarm, but continued to force myself back to sleep; it was the last time I could curl up and cuddle with my fiancé for a while. I needed that time. But I also couldn’t hold still for anything. We got up, I got comfy clothes on (red athletic shorts and a purple button down flannel. I looked fantastic, trust me), and continued to pace. We headed for the surgery center at about 7:45. The things we took to the center: a comfort blanket (literally any blanket you really like), a pillow, and my post op vest (this is important!). We got there, I got all checked in and paid my fees. I sat down for like… 2 minutes and was called back. Usual questions, urine sample (which was collected in a styrofoam cup??), got told to strip down except for underwear. Which I wasn’t wearing. So that was awkward but whatever. Put on the gown and surgery socks. Nurse took me to my bed and kept asking if I was cold. Honestly I was burning up. She said that’s pretty usual, we come in burning up and leave freezing. She got everything ready to start my IV. She numbed the area, commented on how nice my veins are, stuck me and blew the vein. I warned her that my veins don’t take nicely to IV needles. She profusely apologized and felt so bad about it. I kept telling her it was fine and I was expecting it to happen the first time. Second numbing, second stick, worked. More apologizing. She went and got my grandparents first. Saw the anesthesiologist. Grandparents left and my dad and fiancé came back to see me. Dr. Medalie came back, drew on me, talked a bit, was on his way. Anesthesiologist came back, he was an odd but funny guy. Maybe I just get his sense of humor. We talked a bit, his nurse came with him and started doing her thing. Anti-nausea via IV, another anti-nausea medicine via patch behind the ear (I usually get really sick from anesthesia). And then some relaxing medicine. I was so out of it when it hit, I don’t remember much. Wheeled back to the OR and remember them having some issue with my left arm board. Then I was in recovery. Dad told me to wake up and I flipped him off. I asked the nurse for water. And then to pee. And then for a warm blanket. I was surprisingly mobile and awake for just coming out of anesthesia. The nurse helped me get dressed and sat me in a chair while my discharge was being approved and they showed my fiancé how to empty my drains. My fiancé went to get her car and the nurse loaded me up, pillow behind my back and seat leaned back a bit and even put my blanket over me after getting my seatbelt on. Got back to the hotel, dad watched over me while my fiancé went to get my prescriptions. She got back, I took a pill, I slept most of that day. My waking moments were spent snacking on crackers, my drains being emptied, peeing, and watching The Weather Channel. It was the only thing on TV I could focus on. Until I passed back out. The following days in Cleveland: Drains being emptied, peeing, Weather Channel, Percocet, crackers, Powerade. I got up sometime Friday evening and went for a short walk with my fiancé. Sleeping post op in the hotel I was in a chair that had a footrest. YOU WILL NEED YOUR OWN SPACE TO SLEEP. My body pillow was perfect under my feet since the footrest was JUST too low for me. Had a pillow under my back, decently sized light blanket over me. I sleep hot, so we just brought a light blanket from home so I wouldn’t overheat, plus a comfort thing. We left Cleveland Saturday morning. Back home: I was still sleeping in a recliner. Body pillow next to me for one arm and a pile of blankets for the other. Again light blanket. We brought the recliner to the bedroom before we left home so my fiancé could have the bed while also being there if I needed anything in the middle of the night. Still emptying drains. May 23, 2017 Goodbye drains: My post op appointment. Take your narcotic about an hour before your appointment or before you go! Being on the road isn’t exactly comfortable. Plus it helps with whatever pain you have during the drain removal. I had to pee by time we got there so I went and then was in the room with his nurse Mary and my fiancé. Mary is really cool and pretty funny. Mary opened my vest and the feeling of being able to breathe was shocking. I didn’t realize it was that tight. Off came the foam (and probably all of my chest hair) and I could see my chest for the first time post op! Seeing my chest: After the foam was off, I looked down and the first thing out of my mouth was “oh. Woah. They’re gone”. Nothing can really prepare you for your reaction. I thought I was going to be over the moon and happy crying like the other guys who posted their reveal videos. But I wasn’t. There was this relief. Realization that I closed a chapter on a part of my life and this new one just started. I was happy, but not how it was going to happen in my head for so long. It was just pure relief. It was flatter than I thought (later to realize it was just from all the compression). A lot less “I got hit by a train” than I thought too. Dr. Medalie came in after my drains were pulled (will be discussed soon) and basically said I looked perfect and was good to go. My next 10 days: I’m a day away from day 10 post post-op (a day shy of 2 weeks post op) at the time of writing this. I was still sleeping in my recliner for a while and just got back into bed a few nights ago, surrounded by pillows and blankets to keep me from rolling. My mobility has greatly improved over the past few days. I take ibuprofen for any pain. I use ice packs when I’m really sore. I take dressing changes seriously since it’s a short time I can breathe and move. After tomorrow the steri-strips come off and I’m done with this compression vest. I can soak in a bath as long has my chest is above water. I use a cup to wet and rinse my upper body and hair. I use baby soap. I’ve been able to finally lay on my side with great care in the past like 2-3 days. Take it slow! Let’s talk drains: They absolutely suck. I’m pretty sure it was the worst thing about this whole process. They’re annoying. They’re weird. They hurt sometimes. I was so happy to finally get them out. Which is also a very odd feeling. It kinda pinches, kinda burns, kinda hurts. I don’t know how to really explain it. My left one actually hurt coming out, but I had armpit hair caught up in the suture and all that. Take the narcotic before you get them out. I was told to do that, and I’m glad I did. How about those nips: They’ll look really weird at first. Like ghost nips. Do the dressings EXACTLY as Mary tells you. You don’t wanna lose them. My nips are starting to scab, blister, and peel. THIS IS NORMAL. Just keep them dressed as explained by Mary and the paperwork she gives you. I have limited feeling in mine; I can feel the outer edges but not much on the inside. It’s really weird, but also normal. Not about nips but: as your chest hair grows back (they shaved my chest) it’s going to itch like no other. Things I’m glad to have/have had: Pillow(s), comfortable blankets, laxatives!!! (MILK OF MAGNESIA. Do yourself a favor and get it), ibuprofen, Gatorade/Powerade, slightly heavier blanket for my chest (in case the fur kids wanted to love on me), body pillow, open front shirts (get a few cheap shirts/tank tops and cut them open in the front)

To keep from stupid long posts in the future I’ll update more regularly. Thanks for reading and I hope it helps! Any questions, please ask!