#petra ral ask

[askrivetra]

Wedding Portrait

Introducing Mr and and Mrs Ackerman

Credit to the incredibly talented @captain-natey for fulfilling the commission so beautifully.

[leviismybby]

Do you think Levi liked Petra ? Liked as in had feelings for her ?

Hello anon. :))

Nah, if she had feelings for him could be debatable, but Levi canoncially didn't have romantic feelings for anyone, he did care about her as he did with every one of his comrades.

[sleepy-sham]

any chance of some rivetra memes pretty please?

So I have been trying so hard to come up with multiple memes for this ask but unfortunately the way I make my silly lil memes is I just happen to see stuff on the internet & be reminded of certain characters & I've only come across one thing that's reminded me of rivetra so far but I didn't want to leave this unanswered any longer😭 so my deepest apologies & I promise my eyes are peeled for more possible rivetra meme content 🫡🫡

I feel like Levi wouldn't be smiling with the sunglasses he'd just be stoic & unexpressive but the general vibe still reminded me of them

more aot memes

[pickalilywrites]

I'm happy you take requests :) I really like your stories. ❤❤❤

Can I ask for Rivetra?

Whenever Petra takes care of Levi's wounds she always leaves light kiss on his dressing. But this time he was fighting with someone to protect her and he got injured in the lips so Petra is ashamed to do that.

I wish you the best! 😊

thanks :) hope you enjoy it

a kiss on the lips

rivetra. canonverse. 3812 words. read on ao3.

Petra’s hands tremble imperceptibly as she carefully applies soothing salve to her captain’s wounds. The slight quivering of her hands would go unperceived by anyone else, but her captain’s watchful eyes miss nothing. He says nothing of her anxious hands even as they dress his wounds. He sits relaxed against the wooden chair, his demeanor completely contrasting against Petra’s nervous air. Whenever Petra applies salve to her comrades wounds, they tend to wince in pain at the sting of the cool ointment against their open wounds. Levi, however, doesn’t flinch in the slightest despite his wounds being fresh. The cuts and bruises on his skin are hardly anything compared to the injuries they face on the battlefield, but they look severe against his pale skin. Petra grimaces as she tends to a particularly deep cut against his jaw.  

“I’m afraid these will scar,” she murmurs. She finds her eyes constantly flitting between all the different wounds on the Captain’s face, the feeling of guilt in her stomach growing heavier with each one she finds. A particularly nasty cut on his lip attracts her attention the most, but it’s the wound she avoids the most. At the very least she dabs at it occasionally to keep the blood from running down the Captain’s chin.  

“I was never particularly handsome to begin with,” the Captain replies.  

“That’s not true,” Petra says without thinking, and she can feel his gaze on her even as she averts hers.  

The Captain is far from conventionally attractive. He stands at a measly 5’3” — hardly an inch taller than Petra is — and his pale skin accentuates the dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. His hollow cheeks make his cheekbones even more severe, and his sharp jawline meets with a pointed chin. His perpetually sour expression doesn’t help his appearance, but there’s something becoming of the way all his features come together. The structure of his face is so delicate, almost feminine, and his gray eyes are such a striking shade that it’s difficult not to be drawn to them whenever one gazes falls on him. No, handsome is perhaps not the best word to describe him. Pretty is the word Petra would use, but she would never utter those words out loud.  

“Your features suit you,” Petra says, but perhaps it isn’t acceptable to remark on the appearance of one’s superiors whether the words are flattering or not. She bites her lip and wonders if she should say anymore. It feels dangerous to let it alone, but she can’t trust herself to say anything more. 

“It doesn’t matter very much anyway,” the Captain says, and it almost disappoints her how unaffected he is by her words. “I have much worse scars. It won’t be that much different having scars on my face.”  

“Still, I’d feel responsible every time I saw it,” Petra murmurs.  

“I don’t recall you giving me this,” the Captain says, and he lifts his chin slightly. He could be talking about any of his cuts and bruises, but all Petra sees is the cut on his lip. He’s joking in that dry, emotionless tone that makes it difficult to know when he’s speaking in jest, but at least Petra knows him well enough now to know the difference. It doesn’t make her feel any better.  

“You know what I mean,” she murmurs.  

It’s only now that she begins to attend to the cut on his lips. She’s careful as she dabs the salve against his lip with the pad of her finger. His blood comes away on her skin, painting her finger red.  

︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑ 

Petra left her father’s house much later than she intended. She usually leaves well before sundown. The Captain doesn’t care when they come back from their monthly military leave so long as they’re on time to their drills the following morning. Despite being in the military for years, it was still difficult for Petra’s father to say goodbye every time she began to head back to her station. This time, he had held her back and shoved more and more things into a basket that he insisted she take: fresh fruits from the grocer he had bought this morning, fresh vegetables he had just grown from the garden, and sweet pastries that he had baked before the sun had even begun to rise that day. Whenever she tries to leave anything behind, he would only shake his head and place it back into her basket, telling her that she and the rest of the soldiers needed it more than he did. Petra is a soldier with one of the highest kill counts in the Scouting Legion, but she will always be her father’s precious daughter.  

Her father continued to fuss about her even as she was leaving his house. She laughed as he called out to her, reminding her to dress warmly and to eat well. She pretended not to notice the tears that welled up in his eyes as he waved her goodbye, although it always made her heart ache whenever they had to part. 

She catches her reflection in the mirror of a nearby tailor. It makes her feel self-conscious seeing herself in normal civilian clothes. She’s so used to her military uniform, a standard white ensemble with a cropped jacket that everyone wears. It’s strange seeing herself in anything else, but she dresses more casually because it seems to make her father happy seeing his daughter dressed like a normal woman. As she passes by the store, she tries to walk as naturally as she can, but she can feel her spine straightening and her walk become stilted the more out of place she feels.  

Petra sighs and shifts the basket of fruits and vegetables to her other hand. She wonders if she should walk a little faster, although the Captain and the squad won’t mind waiting for her. She might be late for dinner and it’ll be a shame that they’ll have to wait for tomorrow to cook up the vegetables her father has given them, but she knows Gunther will be delighted to see what she’s brought back regardless.  

Behind her, she can hear a group of men singing. Drunk, probably, even though sky is not yet dark. She doesn’t bother to turn her head to look at them even though people on the street are whispering and turning their heads. She’s seen her own fair share of drunkards in her time, and they’ve never been very different. They’ll probably stumble into another bar and wreak havoc there before getting kicked out and finding another establishment to trash. 

Petra picks up her pace and the men’s singing have turned into shouts. Their shouting grows louder and louder. Her mouth settles into a frown as she tries to rid herself of the men behind her. It doesn’t even occur to her that their shouts are directed toward her until a hand clutches her shoulder and yanks her backward. Surprised, she yelps as she’s turned around roughly and finds herself surrounded by half a dozen men, most of them much larger than her.  

She tries to keep her composure even as her heartbeat spikes. She bites her lip to keep from crying out even as the man who has his hand clutched on her shoulder tightens his grip. Calling for help might only exacerbate the situation, and Petra’s not sure anyone would come to her aid anyway. When her eyes flit about in alarm, all the passersby are keeping their heads down, pretending not to see what is happening right in front of them.  

“Hello, pretty,” the man who has her in his clutches drawls. She can smell the alcohol on his breath and it makes her want to gag. His mouth stretches in more of a sneer than a smile, revealing yellowed teeth. “What are you doing all by your lonesome so late at night?”  

Petra doesn’t reply, not even to point out that it’s hardly late in the evening. She tries to discreetly break free from the man’s grip, keeping her eyes down so as to not make eye contact, but his hold is far too strong. She wonders if she should fight back regardless of the punishment she’ll face for laying a hand on civilians. Only Military Policemen are allowed to punish civilians, and Petra isn’t sure how lenient the military will be towards her even if her actions are in self-defense. She curses herself for not donning her military uniform today. Even if it has the Scouting Legion emblem emblazoned on the back, at least there was a chance that the men wouldn’t have known the difference between the logos of the different military branches.  

“You should join us, miss. You look like you could have some fun,” another man says.  

“Let’s have some fun. Do you like dancing?” asks a burly man nearly twice her size. He has to stoop down to speak to her, shoving his face in hers and Petra has no choice but to see his flushed face, eyes red from drinking. When she stumbles back in surprise, the man throws his head back to howl with laughter.  

“Give your basket here. We’ll take care of your goods and show you a good time,” another man coaxes. He grabs Petra’s basket from her hand and nearly all the vegetables and fruits come tumbling out of it. He does a few clumsy steps toward Petra, stopping only a few centimeters from her face. “We could show you a few dances, too. Doesn’t this girl look like she’d be a good dancer?”  

Petra’s strong, but she’s not strong enough to take down half a dozen men with her bare hands. At the very least, shouldn’t she attempt to run away? She tries to calculate her next move, but her panicked mind can only think about how helpless she feels surrounded by the men that tower above her. Her hands feel clammy and cold and her body trembles, but she can’t stand to be here another minute. 

Without thinking, she brings up her knee to knock the wind out of the man in front of her. His eyes nearly pop out of his head in surprise as he keels over in pain, letting out a groan as he sinks to his knees. His other friends are frozen in shock, so Petra takes the opportunity to break through the barrier of men that have entrapped her and run as fast as she can. She stumbles through fallen vegetables and fruits, the basket her father had given her forgotten with the men she is trying to escape. She doesn’t make it very far.  

A hand reaches out to grab her by the hair. Petra shrieks in pain as she’s pulled back and thrown to the ground. Her side is numb from her fall, and she stumbles to get upright but the men begin to pile on her. A man pins her down by her wrists while the others begin to clamber onto her, their gazes like wolves about to devour their prey. She opens her mouth to scream but chokes on a hat that a man has jammed down her throat. She can only gag from the pain, wriggling helplessly as she tries to break free. She feels their hands on her, fumbling for the ties and buttons of her clothes, and she wants to vomit. Tears form in her eyes from the searing pain, and she closes her eyes as if somehow that will lesson the pain. 

Her wrists hurt from how tightly she’s being held down. She wants to pull them free, and she can feel the bruises form around her wrists even as she tries to break out of her captor’s grip. It surprises her when she finally does break free. When she opens her eyes, she realizes the man is gone and the his comrades are looking up in surprise. Her gaze follows theirs and she sees that the man has been knocked down. Another man is on top of him, relentless as he throws his punches at the man that had just held Petra down.  

The other men have stopped, their interest in Petra momentarily interrupted as they turn confusedly to the stranger that had just attacked their friend. Petra, too, turns her head as best as she can, craning her neck to catch a glimpse at the man that had dared to interfere when nobody else had. She recognizes the military uniform at once — stark white trousers and pressed white button-up underneath a cropped jacket with the Wings of Freedom, the symbol for the Scouting Legion, plastered on the back. It’s only when the man turns his head, gray eyes blazing with fury, that Petra realizes that it is Captain Levi.  

The men are caught between wanting to flee and saving their friend. They stumble away from Petra, scowling at the Captain as they size him up. The Captain is only a few centimeters taller than Petra, and the men must believe that he can hardly be threat because they charge at him, yelling threateningly as they charge. They are no match for him.  

Petra drags herself up to a sitting position, grabbing the hat that had been stuffed into her mouth and tossing it aside. She coughs, her mouth still tasting of wool. She sees that the Captain has been thrown against the pavement, but he gets up much faster than the other men expected. The Captain is more known for his ability to fight Titans, but his hand-to-hand combat skills greatly surpass many of the other soldiers in the military. While he might be outnumbered, the other men are clearly outmatched. Their attacks are clumsy and uncoordinated, made worse by their inebriated state. Even if they do manage to get a few punches in here and there, the Captain is beating them ruthlessly. 

“Captain, that’s enough!” Petra says. She doesn’t know when she had gotten up, but she’s now pulling him away from the rest of the men who have been beaten senseless. They have more cuts and bruises than the Captain does, although he hasn’t left the fight unscathed. She winces when she sees the wounds on his face, although the Captain doesn’t seem be in pain at all.  

The Captain doesn’t respond to her, only struggles against her to throw in a few more punches with his bloodied knuckles as some of the men attempt to escape. The Captain only stops when the Military Police arrive, rounding up the bloodied men quickly now that the bulk of their work has been done for them.  

“Why didn’t you show up earlier?” the Captain snaps at one of the policemen that have approached them for a statement. The Captain has never been fond of the Military Police. This incident has probably soured his opinion of them even more. He hadn’t seemed tired as he was taking on six men at a time, but he’s leaning against Petra now as he curses out the Military Police. “What the fuck are any of you good for if you can’t stop drunkards from assaulting people?” 

“Captain, it’s fine,” Petra murmurs as she gives an apologetic nod to the policeman. “Let’s just return to our quarters. The others are waiting for us-”  

“It’s not fine!” the Captain says, cutting her off short before returning to his berating of the Military Police. “Are you just sitting on the shitter all day? At least come out once and a while to take care of the civilians you’re meant to protect, you dumb fucks.”  

“We had it handled,” the policeman says, but his eyes are cast downward in shame and his cheeks are flushed. He can’t even make eye contact with either of them. “Only the Military Police are allowed to punish civilians. Other military branches aren’t permitted to lay hands on civilians-”  

“Then do your fucking jobs so we won’t have to do it for you,” the Captain snarls. He turns on his heel and walks away, leaving Petra behind to apologize profusely for her captain’s behavior.  

They ride the ferry across the river that would take them only part of the way home. A horse ride still awaits them after that. As they ride the ferry, the Captain rests beside Petra, arms folded across his chest and head resting on her shoulder. Her father’s basket sits on her lap. The fruits and vegetables that had fallen on the cobblestone streets had been collected and placed back in the basket because the Captain wouldn’t hear of it being left behind even though there are only one or two vegetables that were undamaged.  

“Thank you for saving me,” Petra murmurs. Her eyes can’t seem to leave her Captain’s face, the cuts and bruises that wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for her.  

The Captain doesn’t reply and Petra thinks he’s fallen asleep. He stirs for just a moment and says quietly, “I should have been there sooner.”  

︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑ 

Petra realizes she’s been staring far too long at the Captain’s face even though the cut on his lip has been attended to. She no longer has an excuse for her gaze to linger on his lips, and she removes her finger quickly from his cut. She turns to return all the things she’s used to the first aid kit, making sure to avoid the Captain’s gaze but she can feel his eyes fixed on her. She does her best to maintain an air of normalcy, but she knows the flush of her cheeks gives her away.  

“It will take a while to heal, but the salve should help prevent scarring. Just let me reapply it for you in the evenings until it’s fully healed,” Petra says. She looks down, organizing and reorganizing everything in the kit even though there is hardly anything in there for her to fuss around with. She’s just looking for any excuse not to look at the Captain. She’s about to shut the lid of the kit and scurry off, but the Captain grabs her by the arm before she can make her escape. He’s careful when he grabs her, making sure to wrap his hand just above her wrists which are still tender from being held down earlier that evening.  

“I think you’re forgetting something,” he murmurs, his voice so quiet that Petra wouldn’t have heard it if she weren’t holding in her breath.  

She could feign innocence, insist that she doesn’t know what he’s talking about, or maybe clasp her hands and tell the Captain he’s exactly right before attending to a make-believe wound she had forgotten to tend to. She knows he’s referring to a habit she and the rest of the squad had started as a joke.  

Whenever Petra tended to her comrades’ wounds, she would kiss their wounds. She had gotten into the habit of it when taking care of Gunther’s siblings, nearly half a dozen children that got into more trouble than anyone could imagine. They would go out in the morning to play only to come home in the evening with scrapes and bruises all over their elbows and knees. She had pressed kisses against bandaged knees and elbows one after the other. The habit must have stuck because she had leaned down to kiss a wound she had taken care of on Eld’s hand one day without thinking. The others had burst out laughing and Petra, although embarrassed, held her chin up and asked Eld if he had any other injuries for her to “kiss better” as Gunther’s siblings often say.  

It became a running joke among the soldiers, taking care of each other’s injuries and kissing the bandages as soon as they were done being patched up. They would do so mischievously, with roguish grins on their faces if they were kissing a gash on someone’s cheek or a cut on their cheek. They did it with the affection of siblings or very close friends, never with any romantic feeling even if Auruo would joke otherwise as he planted a sloppy kiss against Petra’s temple as she groaned. It was a silly joke, one that Petra didn’t know the Captain even paid attention to. She never thought it was something to be ashamed about, but she’s embarrassed about it now that he brings it up.  

Her mind revisits all the cuts on the Captain’s face — his cheekbone, his temple, his jaw, his chin — but she can only think about the gash on his lip. It’s not as if she hasn’t thought about kissing the Captain. She’s probably thought about it more than she should have, but she never thought it would happen like this. Would a kiss like this be deemed improper? But it’s just a kiss, hardly even a kiss. It’s more of a joke than a kiss, Petra reasons, and yet she hesitates.  

“Never mind then,” the Captain says, and Petra realizes she’s taken too long to respond. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”  

Petra grabs him by the shoulder and pushes him back down in his seat before he can rise. Without warning, she leans forward and her lips collide with the bandage on his temple. The Captain tenses in surprise, but she continues to press kisses against his face — his forehead, his cheekbones, down his jawline, down to his chin — and she takes in his beauty as she does. She marvels in the sharpness of his cheekbones, the angle of his jaw, the point of his chin. His eyelashes are longer and thicker than anyone else’s. They would be wasted on anyone else but him, she thinks.  

She hesitates when she gets to his lips. He must sense her hesitation because his hand finds its way to the back of her neck and he guides her towards him, inviting but not demanding. In the end, she accepts his invitation. She’s hesitant at first, her lips barely brushing against his like the graze of a butterfly’s wings. His lips are soft and gentle against hers, and she tastes the salt of his wound against her tongue mixed with the sweet honey from the salve. She presses her lips harder against his and he reciprocates, his mouth opening to allow her taste and their tongues mingle.  

When they finally part, it is too soon. She’s breathless, her face flushed, but the Captain looks completely unaffected. All he does is touch her lip with the pad of his thumb and it takes everything in her not to hold him there.  

“You’re an excellent nurse, Petra,” he tells her. 

“Thank you, sir,” Petra murmurs. She remains there even when he gets up to leave, all alone with nothing except the memory of the Captain’s lips on hers.  

[confusedpandabear]

Rivetra. Another favorite rarepair of mine. So much potential cut short too quickly. I'm positive they would've eventually gotten together if things turned out different. Such a cute dynamic between the two and Levi definitely needs to get laid lol.

I remember really liking them together when the series first came out and being gutted when she and the rest of his squad were killed off too soon.

I liked their dynamic, Petra respected him and wanted to dedicate her life to him and his cause, and I like to think Levi felt that way too, even if not romantically. Either way, he seemed more upset about her death than he did the others, pausing when he found her body, saving her badge and looking remorseful when they had to leave her body behind. And then her dad thinking they were going to get married? My heart. It’s SO messed up but that was when I thought: WOW they were a ship 😭

Now that I’m obsessed with them again, I’ve come across a lot more official art and info about them which is making me fall in love with them even more! I want to write for them but I don’t have the time or ideas right now, so I’ll keep posting silly unfinished sketches and maybe get around to colouring one of them someday too 😅

[the-ravenclaw-werewolf]

Has Levi discovered the modern cleaning products yet? 😂

How does he feel about them?

From a scale of “I will have Senku recreate these products to be homeworld-period appropriate” to going mildly feral “I WILL bring ALL of these with me brand/logo on full display idc, idc no IDGAF about Erwin’s questions and/or Hange’s pestering—! Mine now” what approach would he take to obtain them?

Nope, (at least in point of time of the story), but when he does, he, will, LOVE, them.

Levi will definitely ask Senku to help recreate ALL cleaning products so he can make it again when he gets back, but let's have a look of where he shows he goes *mildly* feral:

Erwin was worried. It's wasn't about any of the cadets, nor Eren, and not even Hange, which was surprising to him in so many way. No, this was about Levi, and this was setting off so many warnings in his head. Usually his captain was calm and collect, even if he was as anti-social as a rock, but he was reliable to be the common sense when everything else went to hell. But this morning, when Erwin couldn't find him, he set off to collect him for a briefing. It took several tries, but he did find him.

Sort of.

You see, Erwin happened to stumble upon Levi's squad and Hange standing in front of the meeting doors, all with worried looks.

Except Hange, who seemed to be bouncing with excitement.

"He's been in there for an hour now." Petra stared at the door like it was about to burst into flames.

Oluo shook his head, "This typical Levi behavior, you know this."

"Not if you seen the bottles he was carrying." Eld commented.

"Bottles?"

"Yeah, and they were weird looking and brightly color. And I swear one of them was seen-through."

"And did you see those other supplies he had with him? I couldn't recognize any of it." Petra pointed out.

"Do any of us have a clue on what he is doing in there?" Gunther looked about as frustrated as other members.

"Nope! But I want to get my hands on that see-through bottle! It might a chemical I could study!" Hange drooled at the prospect of getting their hands on such product.

That's when Erwin decided to make his presence known, "What exactly happened?"

Everyone jumped and then into a salute, with Oluo responding, "Commander! We just-" and then accidently bit his tongue.

Erwin waved at them to be at ease as Eld took the reins, "Sir, we had notice Levi walking by with an armful of different bottles and was heading for the meeting room. We tried to ask him about them, but he just locked himself in the room. Even with persistent knocking and shouting, he wouldn't respond back."

"ERWIN!" Hange bolted over to him and latched on to his arm, "Please, please, please, please, please open the door! I need to see what Levi has with him! I beg of you!"

He could feel them vibrating so fast that he was starting to shake, "Calm down Hange, let me have a look."

Detaching the mad scientist from his arm, Erwin walked over to the door and knocked on it, "Levi, it's Erwin. Can you please unlock the door?"

There was a muffled sound coming from the behind, but it didn't stop. Nor did Levi respond. Erwin blinked and looked at the other members, who shrugged helplessly.

Sighing, he took out the meeting room key and slid it into the lock and twisted it. Unlocking with a click, he swung open the door only to find-

"Do not step in here! I just cleaned the floors!" Levi shouting may have be rare, but Erwin had heard once or twice to recognize that he was being serious.

Pulling his foot, he noticed five things.

Levi was decked in his cleaning outfit, with apparently some new accessories

He had a large bucket of water and white jug beside him with a white brush with the bristles cover in suds and grime

There were other bottles, just as the other described, on the table.

The room smelled of some kind of chemical and odors.

The room itself was sparkling clean.

That last bit made everyone who peaked into the room look around in awe. All the surfaces in the entire room had the sunlight from the windows glinting off of them, showing a polished finish that were only seen in the royal capital. The wood even showed a brighter color that Erwin thought he would never see again and despite the odd odor, the entire place smelled like citrus.

"Levi, are you... cleaning?" Eld asked, looking back and forth between the room and the man who scrubbing away at a particular spot.

"Congratulations, so you're not as blind as everyone say." The captain muttered from beneath his face mask.

Oluo, who recovered, was now pinching his nose, "What is that smell? It's burning my nose!"

"It's call bleach you idiot," Levi paused to look up, giving Erwin the chance to see the gloves Levi had on that were bright yellow and, made of rubber?

"And don't breath it in directly, you'll die."

"WHAT?!" Everyone, except for him and Hange, shouted with concern for both themselves and Levi.

"I'm sure he's kidding." He told the squad, but there was a bit of doubt when Levi just raised an eyebrow and went back to cleaning.

"Levi! My dear, dear, dear, friend! Would you be so kind as to-"

"No shitty glasses, I'm not lending you one of them."

"COME ON! It won't take long! It's just right there!" Hange stretched put their arms to the assortment of bottles and jugs on the table.

Turning his attention over to them, he saw that the squad was right. They were brightly colored and there were these words on them that Erwin had never seen before. What the hell was Clorox?

"PLEASE!"

"No! Now stop bothering me." Levi didn't say anymore as he dipped the scrub into the bucket and went at it again.

Erwin then recognize the glint in their eyes, which darted between the man cleaning and the bottles sitting innocently on the table that were just a short walk away.

"Commander! No!" Gunther whispered as he shook his head and hands frantically.

Hange, who may be brilliant but still lacks common sense, made a mad dash for that see-through bottle that they were talking about, when suddenly they collapsed to the ground after a white blur struck them directly on the face. All the conscious members turned to the captain and each one, even Erwin, took a step back. Levi, whose hand was still stretched after throwing the mentioned scrubber, was glaring at all of them deep and hard. His eyes were filled fire and simmering rage that he only seen direct to titans.

"Touch any of them and I'll personally feed you to the titans."

And Erwin didn't know his voice could get so low, or dangerous.

Oluo bit his tongue out of fright.

"Now get out, I need to get started on the windows."

Levi's squad didn't need to be told twice as Eld grabbed Hange's wrist and dragged them out with the rest in tow. Except for Erwin, as he and Levi watched the five leave as fast as they could.

"Tch. Baka." He heard Levi muttered out.

Erwin turned back and continued to watch in curiosity as Levi put away his previous supplies and grabbed the see through bottle that was fill with blue liquid with some kind of nozzle at the top.

Imagine his surprise when the captain pulled the handle and the liquid sprayed out onto the window panels and he just started wiping the windows with a white cloth.

"Erwin, I understand our positions as commander and captain, but I will not repeat myself."

He held up his hands, reached out with one, and pulled the door closed. As it shut with a click, Erwin was replaying the events in his head and was wondering what just happened.

A million questions were running through his mind, but one was sticking on;

"What the hell does baka mean?!"

[naitfall]

@worldhell asked:

SPOTIFY WRAPPED - number 23 for petra c:

In honor of SPOTIFY WRAPPED,  send me a number 1-100 and I’ll write you a starter based on the song.

A rare sight it was, for him to let his guard down. A rare sight none got to witness these days, the more they kept on fighting, the more they lost (of themselves, of their humanity). His responsibility — to give their sacrifices meaning, a duty hard to bear for any man, even for humanity's strongest. It was only for a moment, where he had given in to his own selfish urge, a desire for healing of the soul. At first, he believed to be alone — how else would he have been caught? — but when he noticed prying eyes staring, when he felt someone's presence desperately trying not to make themselves known, it was too late.

He hadn't seen a piano since he left the underground. Quite ironic, for a rotten bar at the darkest corner of the world, to have a piano nearly none knew how to play. He had imagined those living underneath the sun (delusional as he used to be, his imagination running wild) would be more attached to music for it carried light as well, but he was mistaken — it remained a privilege to those who could afford it. It was behind Wall Sina, where all military officers were supposed to gather, that he saw the instrument at the center of the room, displayed as an object of wealth, even if, once more, none knew how to play. It was when everyone had left, when the man took seat and set his fingers on the keys. He had gotten rusty, but he still had it.

Self-taught, playing by memory alone. When he was a child, he'd observe an old man playing at the place Kenny used to drag him along. The man died shortly, brutally murdered like most found their end in the underground, but a part of him lived on — how many continued to live within him, and how much of himself was left ?

He could tell by footsteps alone it was Petra peeking behind the door, yet he continued to play. He wouldn't get this chance again, for words he couldn't say to gain voice. Physically unable as he was in saying what rested inside of him, this music piece served as a confession. Why was it he let her observe such an intimate moment? Was it he didn't care? Was it he hadn't anything worth saying? Or because she was already familiar to this side of him, knowing him in ways he couldn't (and didn't want to) grasp? ❝ Is there a reason to hide from me? ❞ I see you. Always. Even when you think I don't. ❝ Shouldn't you be resting? ❞ Somewhere else? Somewhere where him, stripped off his armor wasn't in sight?

[cpacs-blog]

Nobody asked so here it is: why i ship Petruo HARD

So there I was watching AOT and everyone is bleak and sad and Marco is dead etc

And then suddenly Eren is w a new group of ppl

And in a world of shitty, man-eating monsters, there’s this group of vets who supposedly know what’s up; Eren should be intimidated, yadda yadda yadda

And they are hilarious and ridiculous

There are two clearly messing with each other, gettin’ sassy

The other two spend almost all of their screen-time rolling their eyes at this which makes it even better

And Petra wasn’t like this before. She was dutiful and kind, but not a sass master and I love it

I like also how Auruo didn’t trust Eren. Everyone else we care about at this point was very optimistic but Auruo was like “nah you’re a short 15 year old w anger issues I don’t trust you with shit, let alone aaving the world”

(He was fuckjn right, btw)

And Petra, being kind AND spunky, was like “stfu idiot go die”

MY ICON

I like how Petra’s full personality comes out when she’s around Auruo; she’s kind but lots of ppl are kind… her fire sets her apart

I like how Auruo is apprehensive but also loyal; he never really trusts Eren, but he eventually dies for him bc of his duty to Levi

Auruo mimics Levi which PISSES Petra off; popular theory is bc he loves Petra and she loves Levi so

Add another trope that lives rent-free in my head: “why are you acting so different don’t do that i’ve always liked you for who you truly aaaarrrreee”

We find out later they went through training together and also peed themselves

Which makes them so much more human… I mean wouldn’t you if something was going to use you for dental floss??

Then we see them in the flashback, Auruo w googly eyes and everyone loving each other and having fun

And then they all die (rip)

But before they do, Petruo is BADASS. Like this Titan just killed half the battalion and they bamboozled her so good

(Literally died on a technicality is all im sayin im not salty YOU’RE salty)

When Petra dies, Auruo is HEARTBROKEN. And then immediately goes to “fuck u that was rude” and keeps fighting

Which, brave

To the badge scene: (and Rivetra ppl dont hate me I respect u and am anti-ship war just let me procrastinate on tumblr for a sec)

I think Levi took Petra’s badge bc her body was there. Not many corpses. Certainly not the amount for the ppl that died

No half corpses (sorry Eld). Guessin’ they didnt get Gunther from the tree either. Idk about Auruo and how broken his lower half is bc we never see it

But either way, Petra is either the only/ one of two of Levi squad on the carts, so yeah Levi takes her patch bc she’s probs the only one there

And he looks back bc she represents his squad and he misses all of them (clearly, since they’re in most of his flash-back panels)

And yeah I do think Levi and Petra were especially close. She was kind and he was getting used to people being kind to him

But I’m not a huge fan of boss-employee stuff. Lots of fics have Petra being super doting and 1-D when she’s with Levi and… that’s it. Her full self is kind AND spirited but she’s only half of that w Levi; she’s his suboordinate and therefore acts like it around him. She’s perfect, Levi is emotionally troubled, she fixes him OR she’s his worker and he finally starts noticing her

Her dad definitely is doing the typical dad thing and being embarrassing. Imo he sees how committed his daughter is to this captain (professionaly), and his dad reflexx is like “NO THAT IS MY CHILD U SHALL NOT MARRY SHE IS TOO YOUNG I FORBID IT”

And Levi is like “shit this makes breaking the bad news even worse”

Petra and Auruo probs grew up in Karanese together since Petra’s dad is there and Auruo’s ADORABLE family is waiting for him for dinner

So you’ve got: a) childhood besties maybe b) who ran off to the military together c) who are damn good at what they do d) but also are fun and witty e) until they die together, bravely

They are equals. They are their worst and best selves around each other. They mess w each other like an old married couple. They care deeply about each other. And they have such good hearts that they march head-first into giants bc they believe it will make the world a better place

Again, I only see either of them be their whole spectrum of personality around each other; they don’t share this privilege with anyone else

Petra is kindhearted and tender, but also intense, sarcastic, and fed up with your bs. A badass w a big heart

Auruo is ridiculous, arrogant (outwardly), pragmatic, and insecure. But he loves his friends and thinks his beating heart is a cheap thing compared to anyone else’s. All bluster, true to his core

in this house, we stan these things

[avariantflaire]

Why Levi and Petra?

Of course, upon general viewing of SNK and its characters, it's clear that they have established Erwin, Levi, and Hange as the leading trio of the Survey Corps. They represent this faction of the military and in interesting ways, mirror the main protagonists of the series.

While there is a lot to be said and appreciated about Levi's relationships with Erwin and Hange, I have come to find that the character who humanizes him is the lovely (albeit forgettable) Petra Ral.

Early in the series, we are introduced to Levi as Humanity's Strongest Soldier. Erwin makes use of his abilities in this sense, and Hange often relies on his strength in combat as well. That is not to say this is the extent of their relationships: we have Levi's iconic "Give up on your dreams and die" scene with Erwin (S3 E16) and the infamous "Maybe we should just live here [away from my responsibilities] together" request from Hange (S4.2 E8). However, something to note with both scenes is that while they give depth to Levi's relationship with both characters, he essentially serves to highlight others. In the former, Levi's response directly challenges Erwin's dream, and allows this commander a defining moment of growth. Similarly in the latter, Levi is used as a means for Hange to express and eventually overcome their fears and insecurities about the deal they've been dealt as the new Commander of the Survey Corps (which at the time was rapidly disbanding under the Jaegerist movement).

In other words, Levi is the "subplot character" to Erwin's and Hange's individual arcs. (According to John Truby, 'The subplot character… provides another opportunity to define the hero through comparison and advance the plot.')

Which begs the question… at what point in the series, if any, is Levi defined as a character in and of himself?

Two prominent scenes from season 1 come to mind, which are namely: 1) The dying soldier scene (S1 E9), and 2) Petra's conversation with Eren in headquarters (S1 E15).

In the first, Levi comforts a dying soldier and vows to carry on their will and exterminate all Titans. When the soldier passes before he can reply to Levi's words, Levi turns to his fellow soldier Petra and asks her if he was heard. Petra provides confirmation, emphasizing the peaceful expression on the soldier's face.

In the second, Petra confronts a gloomy-looking Eren, who has been tasked to clean headquarters along with the rest of the Special Operations Squad (aka the Levi Squad). She specifically points out how Levi is 'not the hero he's expected to be' in the sense that he has a terrible personality, though she does so while smiling almost fondly, as though it doesn't matter what his personality is because they can always put faith in him as their Captain. It seems she wants Eren to understand this - or a notion similar.

It is in both moments that we are able to clearly see Levi beyond being a powerful soldier. Always, he is a threat. When he enters the scene we expect the shift in the dynamic of the battle - we expect him to win. He's a trump card. Erwin's last words to him are an order (S3 E16), and Hange's last words about him is "he's [Armin's] underling now, so really put him to work" (S4.3.1). Levi acknowledges Erwin's and Hange's humanity, bolsters it even, with the conviction of "dedicating your heart". In SNK he is the symbolism, the embodiment, of a soldier. That's all he really ever gets to be. Even his softest moments with - heck, anyone in the series - are meant to deeply reflect on the guilt, the burden, the purpose of getting the job done. ("So… you're telling me… I've spent all this time and energy running around killing people?" (S2 E12) / "Just think, if your hands were still clean... Jean wouldn't be here right now." (S3 E2) / "If we just run away and keep on hiding, what will we have left?" (S4.2 E8))

But for those singular moments in season one, he's more than just the threat. We see him as a human not only with (personality) flaws, but also with dreams and convictions, tied so seamlessly with his comrades' cause that we are reminded painfully, at the end of the series, that it was Levi who carried them all to the end. Throughout the story we see Levi lament fallen soldiers; we are exposed to how much he empathizes with his comrades and their deaths, to the point where it can be said that no one keeps us more aware of the lives that have been lost throughout the show more than Levi himself.

In this manner, Petra was the subplot character to Levi's hero. She gave the audience a (subconscious) glimpse of the Humanity within "Humanity's Strongest" and built the bridge that would lead us to compelling and important revelations about Levi's thoughts and actions as the show progressed. It's Petra whom he finds tending to a dying soldier; Petra whom he asks for confirmation that the soldier heard; Petra who, against all expectation, asks Eren to see past the station, the status, the soldier, to the person himself.

"He's not quite the great, perfect hero society makes him out to be, huh? The real Captain Levi is shorter than you'd expect, temperamental, crude, and unsociable. (…) You thought that because he's skilled, he doesn’t have to follow the rules like everyone else?" (S1 E15)

It's even Petra who, despite her rank, asks Levi to step aside when Eren becomes a half-baked Titan. Here, Levi's robust intuition and split-second decision making skills are shown even away from the battlefield. It's Petra who leads the Special Operations Squad in their apology to Eren (S1E19 "Bite"), who first instills in us (narratively) the notion of trusting your fellow comrades. More specifically, she is who convinces Eren to place his life in their hands. It's this notion that Levi carries with him even until the final arc - "I've saved Eren countless times over - each time, more comrades dying. All because I believed he was the hope of humanity." (S4.1 E13) In the manga (Ch112), it's Petra we see at the forefront of this belief.

"Do you, Eren? Do you find it that hard to trust us?" It's Petra who dies, her words the final say in convincing Eren: "I believe my squad will be victorious." (S1 E21)

"It's like some awful joke," Levi reflects later on, as his comrades' dying hopes and dreams flash by in the canopy of the forest. "What the hell was the hope that we saw? Such bullshit. It's not even funny." (S4.1 E13) "We" here could definitely mean the soldiers who've given their hearts, but the metaphorical representative of this heart is Petra herself... "Eren! Trust us." (S1 E19)

And in the end, it's Petra in the forefront alongside Erwin and Hange, representative of her fellow soldiers, the one (experienced/veteran) Scout we've seen and interacted with in the entire series to have professed the values of hope, of trust, of belief, which is henceforth carried on by Levi himself, his own convictions, his own dreams. They are, in the entire series, the glimpse we get into the Scout Regiment beyond the series' titular character and his comrades in the 104th, and a thorough dive into what makes Levi Humanity's, not simply its strongest.

Her character song, "The Light of Dual Wings", can literally be taken as an allegory of the dreams the Scouts have entrusted to Levi. That's how prominent she is as a Scout; how coded her devotion to Levi is, whether interpreted platonically, romantically, or narratively, as the dedication of hearts.

So, yes, I love them together. I love their scenes, the implications of them narratively, the values Petra professes so effortlessly in the air, washed away by the higher tides of the Female Titan arc. I love that it's still Petra at the forefront, in all of Levi's reflections moving forward, because she is our first glimpse into Levi's character, the real him.

In the end this is just a ship post struggling to keep from delving too much into the symbolism of Levi and the Scouts (how Levi is the face of the Scouts more so than Erwin himself, really), the truest depiction of humanity's collective fight for freedom in this entire series. In his early days, Eren wanted to be a Scout, after all. It is Levi and Petra who push him forward into 'that hell' - for better and worse, respectively.

[seeingivy]

elevated heart rates 

levi ackerman x f!reader

levi’s a mind reader and you’re a love expert 

content: grad student levi, brain researchers, nile being a weirdo freak (sorry yall), mentions of drinking, levi is shirtless at one point, reader has claustrophobia 

an: started my big girl brain research fellowship today. hence - brain jargon and GRAD STUDENT LEVI

- 

The room is small - the nineteen of you cramming into the small space of the conference room. You’re located directly at the front, sitting next to your advisor, Dot Pyxis. A leading expert in the field, one of the first neuroscientists you had met at a conference when you were a freshman in college. 

You saw it - the way his eyes lighted up, the way he was stumbling over his words because he was so excited to explain what he did everyday that you wanted that. To be that excited about something. And here you were, sitting next to him about to make it happen. 

You moved to Marley two months ago for this very moment. Your first day at the Brain Consortium - one of the best neuroscience research labs in the country, led by Pyxis himself. He was going to co-advise your thesis, guide you into becoming an expert in the field. Unlike any other, this lab was barely limited to one field, instead equipped with researchers from many different departments, the projects, the papers entirely interdisciplinary. 

There was no other place like it. You can feel your hands shaking as you hand over your hard drive, your presentation loaded on to it. Pyxis had explained it all - there were weekly lab meetings where everyone came together, presenting their research. Everyone gave feedback, asked questions to help further expand and build on the projects. 

And it was your turn. On your very first day, you were expected to explain. What you were going to research, what you were going to contribute, what you were excited about. 

It’s fucking nerve wracking. Pyxis stands up, giving you one last shoulder squeeze, before introducing everyone in the lab to you. He points everyone out - the other assistant professors, post-doctoral researchers, and the other PhD students. 

“Hange Zoe, Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman, Petra Ral, and Nile Dok. The other PhD students. I want the five of you to give her a tour of the lab after.” 

They all nod, a few of them giving you encouraging smiles as you start. Pyxis turns to you, taking your seat at the table as you take the pointer in your hands, starting your presentation. 

“Right. Um, I’m F/N L/N. It’s nice to meet you all. I, um, completed my undergraduate studies at Shiganshina University. I got a b-bachelors in applied neuroscience and computational biology. I’ll be presenting my thesis project pr-proposal.” 

You hate this shit. You’re stuttering over your words and they’re all staring back, completely uninterested in your work. The PhD students in front of you aren’t even taking you seriously - the girl with glasses nearly stumbling off her chair from sliding around on it and the guy with dark black, grey steely eyes more interested in his cup of fucking tea than what you were talking about. 

“Right, so. My project aims to study interoceptive signals - like heartbeat, respiration cycles, blood pressure - and use them to predict and decode intentions. These small biomarkers, entirely unconscious to us, are consistent during decision making, unbeknownst to us. We can exploit that - to understand higher level cognition.” 

You’ve got their attention - you can tell. This is always the easy part, drawing them in - the woman from before stopped sliding on her chair, instead leaning forward with her eyes shining at your slides, the guy with the tea momentarily flickering his eyes up to the screen. 

“You can use it to predict how people act, how they feel. Especially for something like heart rate, which is what I want to focus on, you can understand so many things - anxiety, stress, companionship, sexual attraction, romance.” 

You see one of the PhD students murmur under his breath, interrupting you in your stead. Nile, they said his name was. 

“So you want to be a…love expert?” 

The entire room laughs, giving you smiles as you continue on. You give him a smile, responding. 

“I guess you could say that.” 

You continue on - highlighting how the brain regulates these signals, what equipment you’ll be using to record all of it. 

They clap when you’re done. Success. 

 - 

You feel fully settled into the lab, a few months later. You’ve decorated your tiny cubicle, directly in the middle with the other PhD students, with a few knick knacks - a picture of you and your best friend, a tiny little green figurine your parents gifted you, and a rack for your headphones. 

You’re located in the section with the other PhD students, who are…interesting. 

On the first day, they lead you to take the cubicle directly next to Hange, which you realized was a bad idea. Because they set you up. Hange’s a biochemist - doing research on the brain tissue at the molecular level, trying to understand how glioblastomas progress. Meaning - they’re always playing with chemicals at their desk, sometimes too lazy to walk over to the lab, which leads to some interesting smells and…smokes in your area. 

They never get in trouble, because Erwin and Petra always come to save the day. They’re both leading policy experts, studying volition and decision making in hopes to use in applications to the law and judicial systems. Figuring out why criminals commit crimes, using it for to serve justice. They cover up the evidence, distract Pyxis and Shadis, and talk their way out of it on Hange’s behalf. 

And that leaves Nile, who isn’t particularly your favorite. He’s a bit hard to get along with, not exactly personable per say. He’s researching microdosing and addiction - trying to figure out how we can manipulate medicines or drugs into being more or less addictive. 

You almost forgot about him. Levi, who's currently leading you to the MRI room on the other side of the building. Definitely the most intriguing of all of your colleagues - using transcranial brain stimulation to decode intentions. In less jargony terms, he read minds. 

He puts the decisions made on the tests into algorithms, correcting it until the machines can predict the decisions being made perfectly - that can be applied to anyone, not just singular participants. He’s coding human thought into machines. And doing it successfully. 

Levi’s quiet, perplexing, and intelligent. An enigma. He’s stood out to you, more than anyone else, for the simple reason that he’s the only one who doesn’t want to talk to you. Hange invites you out for drinks, Petra introduced you to her boyfriend, Erwin bought you a birthday present even though you didn’t tell anyone it was your birthday, and Nile asked you on a date (which you obviously declined). 

But Levi doesn’t care. You don’t either, but it does intrigue you at times. Why he’s so quiet, so closed off, what he’s always doing on his laptop, who he texts on his breaks. This was the first time you were alone with him - getting roped into participating in his newest study. 

“Newbie has to do it.” 

“Do what, Hange?” 

“Levi likes to experiment on all of our brains. You’ve never done it and he needs someone, so we’re volunteering you.” 

Hange and Erwin pull you up by the wrists, all but pushing you out of the conference room into Levi’s cubicle, where you almost trip and fall over him. He looks up - already deeply uninterested with the three of you standing in his space - as he removes his hands from his keyboard. 

“What, brats?” 

“I’m not participating. She is. Take her away!” 

He looks between the three of you, clearly unamused with how nonchalant Hange was being about the whole thing, as they knocked over Levi’s stack of books on the floom. They nearly shake his entire frame in their hands as they thanked him profusely for not making them participate. 

Erwin picks up the stack of books - somehow shuffling them all out of order as Levi gets even more frustrated - shooing the two of them out of his space. After successfully removing them, you and Levi walk towards the MRI room, all the way across the building, in silence. 

When you get there, he taps his hand on the platform, signaling for you to sit on it. You obediently follow, still not uttering an entire word. You watch him mill around the room - pressing switches, using the intercom to communicate with the operator, turning the lights off. 

“Wearing any metal?” 

“My necklace. I’ll take it off.” 

You reach up, awkwardly fumbling with the clasp as he watches you, his hands pressed to his sides as he waits. You’re not sure what it is - how sweaty your hands are, the way he’s looking at you, awkwardly waiting for you to finish - but you can’t get the clasp off, your hold shaking behind your hair. 

“I can help you.” 

You meekly nod, getting off the platform. Before you can, he reaches forward, his slender hands gathering your hair before placing them across the side to your shoulder. You feel his knuckles against your nape, quickly unlatching the necklace and fixing your hair back into place. 

“I’ll hold it for you.” 

You get back onto the platform, lying flat, as Levi uses the intercom to signal to Armin, one of the undergraduate students who worked in the MRI building. You can feel the platform sliding you into the tube and you suddenly feel it. 

Your claustrophobia. Every horrible thought you can imagine is running through your head as the machine starts whirring, your heart pounding in your chest. An earthquake - the machine would crush you. The magnets can be too fast, the machine malfunctioning while you’re stuck inside it. There could be a fire and you would be left here, everyone leaving you and locking you out of the room. 

“You okay?” 

“Y-yeah, Armin. Sorry. I get a bit claustrophobic, that’s all.” 

“Okay, take your time. Try to stay still so we can get better pictures.” 

You nod, trying to still your breaths as the machine whirrs on again. You can feel your nails digging into your palms, as you try to calm down, the panic still sitting in your chest. You feel a hand circle around your ankle, squeezing twice, as the machine keeps going. 

“You okay, Newbie?” 

“Yeah, Levi. I’m okay.” 

“I’m here. Get out if you’re uncomfortable. I’ll just drag Shitty Glasses by the scalp to do it instead of you.” 

You laugh, his hold still firm on your ankle. You try to focus on it - the fine print on the machine, your back against the platform, his fingers on your skin as the machine keeps going, your panic still writhing in your chest. The MRI finishes - Levi giving you one last squeeze before the platform slides out and you nearly jump out of the machine. 

You and Levi walk back to the main lab, in silence. When you get there, Levi gives Hange’s ponytail one big yank before settling back into his cubicle, giving you a soft smile before you return to yours. 

-   

It’s Levi’s turn to present for the lab meeting. The lab is going to Hizuru for Sigtuna, one of the largest neuroscience conferences to date. The PhD students are all presenting posters, except Levi who was invited to give a talk. 

You had been helping Levi as of late - working with him to identify the sulcuses and the lobes on all of Levi’s MRIs. He had no experience in magnetic resonance imaging whatsoever - something you had spent years learning during undergrad. So the two of you had worked out a system - you helped him with identifying the images and helped you troubleshoot your code for your tasks whenever you needed it (which was often). 

You spent a lot of time together - even if it wasn’t direct. You’d sit in silence in the main conference room, working for hours. He’d bring you a cup of coffee and you would pick up dinner, talking through ideas as you finished off your projects. 

You had helped him write the grant for the talk instead of the poster, helping him with all the physiological portions. He taught you how to do all the analysis for yours - the two of you often the one’s leaving the lab latest, Levi walking you to your car in the dark before walking off to his own. 

You were friends. Project partners. 

He gives you one last look before starting the presentation and you shoot him a thumbs up under the table, which he returns with a smile. He’s explaining - using your brain and Hange���s as the sample templates to explain what he was doing - what parts of the brain he has to use for his machine learning. 

“This is Newbie’s and this is Hange’s brain. In theory, each part of the brain is slightly bigger, depending on what parts of your brain you exercise more. For example, Hange is involved in more motor-dexterity - running all their projects by hand. This part of the sulcus is more developed, bigger because of it, compared to Newbie.” 

Nile nudges you on the side, whispering something about how he can give you something to do with your hands if you needed it. You roll your eyes, awkwardly shuffling farther as you refocus on what Levi was saying. 

“This part of the brain is more developed for Newbie, the Brodmann areas - associated with critical thinking, higher level cognition, decision making. Good thing I didn’t use your brain, Dok. We wouldn’t even be able to catch it on the image if we used yours.” 

The entire room laughs - Nile sulking in his chair as Levi continues. You don’t miss the look he gives you afterwards, his eyes uncharacteristically soft when he meets yours, as he continues the presentation. 

When he finishes, Pyxis goes over the room assignments, mentioning that there were three rooms for all the PhD students - meaning a few of you would have to pair up. You turn your neck to look at Petra, who's already nodding and agreeing with Hange that they would room together. You deflate, watching Erwin and Levi pair up. Which leaves you next to Nile, who's all but too excited to be your partner. 

He slings his arm around your shoulder, saying that you guys can share the bed if it gets cold at night, which leaves you shooting dangerous looks at Hange. Levi catches on first, immediately dragging Erwin over to where the two of you were standing. 

“Dok. Erwin is going to room with you.” 

“Says who?” 

“Says me. Don’t argue with me today, I’m already sick of you.” 

Levi grabs you by the wrist, dragging you towards the other side of the room as he rambles on. 

“What a fucking idiot. First he interrupts me during my talk and then starts saying perverted shit like that. Someone’s going to smack him upside the head one day and I surely hope for my sake it’s me.” 

You wrap your arms around his neck, squeezing him twice before letting go. 

“Thank you for that - I was literally going to vomit if I had to room with him.” 

“Well, I told you before. I’m here if you’re uncomfortable.” 

You nod, the two of you walking into the conference room to make edits to your presentation. 

 - 

You and Levi come back to your hotel room after the conference, positively plastered. He’d all but given his talk perfectly and your poster won an award at the end - which meant you and Levi were celebrating well into the night. 

You had your arms slung around each other, your weight uneven, as you both slide back into the hotel room, falling onto the singular bed in the room. You and Levi were greeted with the unpleasant sight earlier in the day - you and Levi both insisting that you would be the ones to sleep on the couch. 

You’re both lying face up on the bed - your cheeks flushed, your chests heaving up and down, the only sound in the room being your shaky breaths. Your hands are still locked together, your brain fuzzy from the events of the night. 

You and Levi amble up after a few minutes, both attempting to change into your pajamas and go to bed. You ogle Levi as he takes his shirt off, watching from the side of the mirror. He catches you, walking closer to you. He still reeks of beer, still shaking on his feet. 

He leans over, pressing his forehead against yours as you hold onto his arms, grounding your fingers into his biceps. He’s still not wearing a shirt, his bare chest on display. You fight the urge to stare at him full on. 

“You’re smart, Y/N.” 

“You’re smart too, Levi.” 

“Did you pay attention during my talk?” 

“Y-yes. You code the information, like a puzzle, to figure out what people’s intentions are.” 

“Hm. You be me. I’ll give you the information and you figure it out, okay?” 

You nod, barely understanding what he was getting at as you lean into him. You can feel the buzz dying down, the tiredness setting into your bones. 

“I’m not a mind reader like you, Levi.” 

“You’ll get this one. You’re my smart girl.” 

He reaches down, securing his hands around your waist as he pulls you closer to him. Your hands and frame are pressed against his chest, his skin cold to the touch.

“You caught my eye on the first day, with your perfectly pressed hair and that stupid black skirt.” 

You can feel your breath catch in your throat, the sound not leaving your throat.

“You take the cubicle two feet down from mine and I can’t help but watch you - reorganize your desk, get up to get water, scribble things on the whiteboard.” 

You can feel his heartbeat get faster against your hear, his grip on your waist tightening. You’re suddenly too aware of what’s happening - Levi, PhD Levi, is shirtless, hugging you in a hotel room. The lights are dim, there’s only one bed, and he’s holding you. 

“I don’t work with other people at the lab, but when you ask, I do. I leave the lab way past the required time, willingly spending more time in a room with that idiot Nile in it just because you’re in it too.”

“Levi.” 

“I’m not done.”

“It drives me crazy, every time Nile talks to you, touches you, looks at you. I want to sock him in the face - because he’s not nearly good enough for you. Not that anyone could be, but for some idiot like that to think he stands a chance is next level infuriating.”

He releases his hands from your face, lifting his hands to cup your face. His touch his soft, his thumb caressing the burning skin on your cheeks as his eyes meet yours.

“I think about you all the time. When I wake up, when I go to sleep, when I eat my breakfast. When I’m not with you, I just want to be around you. And when I’m around you, I want to be with you.” 

He leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. His lips are pillowy soft, his breath tickling the edges of your forehead. 

“What does it mean? Figure out my intentions, smart girl.” 

You can feel your entire body burning, your head still spinning - from the alcohol, Levi’s touch, his words ringing in your ears. 

“You…like me.” 

“That’s a fact. Not an intention.” 

“You…want to kiss me?” 

He smiles, leaning forward to press his lips to yours. The kiss is warm, the taste of the beer still hanging on his lips. You can feel his hands moving, carding through your hair as you reach up to press your hand against his shoulders. He kisses you for a long time - your body burning at the entire sensation. He breaks apart, still smiling against your lips. 

“Smart girl.” 

“Do you…remember my research, Levi? From the first day?” 

“I’ve memorized every single thing you’ve ever said to me.” 

You can feel your cheeks flushing, Levi’s hands returning to squish the sides of your face. You grab one of his hands, opening up his fingers and placing it flat against your chest. You move his hand around, until you’re sure he can feel your heart - which is pounding in your chest. 

“Heart rate can give away a great deal. The biomarker can help you understand a lot of different emotions. Figure out which one I’m feeling, Levi.” 

He leans forward, pressing soft kisses all over your face as he starts asking. 

“Anxiety?” - a soft kiss, right on top of your head. 

“No.” 

“Stress?” - a light kiss, right on your closed eyelids. 

“No, Levi.” 

“Companionship.” - a sweet kiss, right on your lips. 

“Yes. But that’s not the one I was looking for.” 

You watch a smirk spread across his face as he leans down, spreading soft kisses all along your neck. He murmurs against your neck, a hint of teasing in his voice. 

“Sexual attraction?” 

“Levi. Quit being a tease.” 

“Shut up, brat.” 

“No. You missed one, Levi.” 

“What was it?” 

“Love. A heartbeat can give away a great deal - can even be used to indicate and understand romantic feelings.” 

He press his hand against your chest again, your heart still hammering. 

“It’s fast. What does that mean?” 

“That I love you.” 

You see a big smile spread across his face, reaching all the way up to his eyes. You see him now and you think it’s the best he’s ever looked - messy black hair, pink cheeks, squinted eyes. He reaches down, opening your fingers and placing them against his bare chest. You can feel his heart hammering in his chest. 

“Fast.” 

“Yeah. Means I love you too, smart girl.” 

- 

[youre-ackermine]

Sunburst: a sudden brief appearance of the full sun from behind clouds

Characters: Levi Ackerman / Hange Zoe / Petra Ral / Erwin Smith / Miche Zacharias / Nanaba / Zeke Jaeger / Nifa (mention) / Moblit Berner (mention) / Yelena (mention)

Pairing: Levihan (friendship) / Rivetra / Zekehan / Erumike (implied)

Wordcount: 2265 approx.

Modern AU / SFW / Levihan slow burn / High school friends / Established relationships / Non-binary AFAB Hange Zoe / Swearwords / POV Levi Ackerman

His mood probably couldn’t get gloomier now that he had finished all the tasks -most likely meant to distract him from his dejection now he thought about it- that Miche had assigned to him since morning.

He was sitting on the steps leading to the porch, a glass of iced-tea from the bowl he had freshly prepared in hand. On the surface his face showed all the usual signs of annoyance and boredom that seemed to be his signature expression but, if you could get a closer look, melancholy tinged his features quite unexpectedly as he scrolled on his phone.

Levi frowned, squinting his eyes in the sun and gluing them to the screen. His heart sank when he saw Petra’s latest post on Instagram, a picture of Nifa and herself, all smiles as they drank some fruity cocktail from a ridiculously huge coconut through colorful straws. A nasty surge of jealousy stung him when he noticed the lustful glances a bunch of guys sitting with them around a restaurant table cast her way.

“The fuck that means,” he mumbled under his breath. 

They were supposed to drink stupid cocktails from stupid coconuts together and they were supposed to bask in the sun on this stupid white sand beach together and they were supposed to soak in this stupid warm lagoon water together. But she had gone on vacation with Nifa instead, arguing she needed time. And space. To find herself, to recharge. To think about them.

Yeah, they were on a break. Yeah, she had decided this one-sidedly. Yeah, she had urged him to pack some of his stuff and stay at his best friend’s for a while. Yeah, he didn’t understand the fuck why she wanted this but he had obliged. Yeah, he would oblige again and again. And fucking yeah, he would do anything she asked if it meant he could win her back.

But dammit! Seeing her having a good time away from him, seeing her smiling as he was still stuck in anger and sadness after four weeks apart, imagining other men ogling her perfect curves, flirting with her, or even laying their dirty hands on her was tearing his heart apart.

A firm yet friendly pat on his shoulder snapped Levi off his stupor. He glanced sideways at Erwin as he sat down next to him.

“No point in hurting yourself over something you can’t control, Levi,” his best friend said, a hint of concern in his soft tone. A faint but incredibly fond smile appeared on Erwin’s face. “Get rid of your phone for now and go freshen up. You wouldn’t want Miche to scold you in front of the guests, would you?”

“As if I gave two shits about what that blond titan thinks!” Levi replied, rolling his eyes. He got up and pocketed his phone nonetheless, heading to his bedroom to change clothes.

He was pouring a refreshing drink for Nanaba, casually catching up with her, when a boisterous exclamation caught their attention. Everybody raised their heads and glasses, cheering the guest of honor as they waved frantically from the driveway where they were stepping out of their car.

“Oh my God! I can’t believe you all came! I’m so happy!” Hange shrieked, eyes sparkling with excitement and a huge smile on their face.

They laughed heartily as their step-brother picked them up in his arms and spun them around as if they weighed nothing.

“Happy birthday, Nerdling,” Miche whispered in their ear, his mustache tickling their skin when he pecked their cheek.

He loosened his embrace and let Hange go. Their gaze wandered around the garden to greet their guests, their radiant smile growing wider and reaching their eyes as they finally fell on their best friend.

“Happy birthday Hans!” she said, her arms wrapping around them. They held each other tight for a while until Hange peeked past Nanaba’s shoulder and recognised the short man standing next to the iced-tea bowl, his pouring gesture frozen in the air.

Hange’s eyes widened. “Holy Walls! Grumpy Pants, is that you?!”

“Tch… No shit, Four-Eyes,” he deadpanned, still gripping Nanaba’s glass by the rim.

“Still so handsome behind the scowl, right Shorty?” They chuckled and winked at him before turning to another guest.

For some reason his stomach churned.

A rhetorical question. Obviously.

The festive afternoon was drawing to a close. The birthday cake was nothing more than a few forgotten crumbs on a plate by now, the opened gifts had been thrown haphazardly on Hange’s car backseat, and the last guests had said their goodbyes a while ago.

Trash bags in hand, Miche, Erwin and Nanaba busied themselves around the garden and the terrace to throw paper plates and plastic cups away.

Levi had found the party more pleasant than expected. And definitely more pleasant than he would ever admit. 

After flitting from one friend to the next, Hange had finally pulled out a chair to sit across from him in his favourite corner of the garden, near a bush of fragrant roses that always reminded him of his mother’s perfume.

They hadn’t met since the graduation ceremony a few years ago. They had caught up on what they had both been doing since then, inadvertently -and frankly, as an afterthought, much to his relief- dodging the matters of the heart.

He knew from Miche that they had been studying abroad in a prestigious university in Hizuru and had recently come back to work in a renowned research company in Trost, dragging their all-time lab partner Moblit -the fuck was this name by the way?- along with them. They had asked him a lot of questions about his work as an architect and his accomplishments in his hobbies. MMA techniques seemed to fascinate them by the way.

Levi's mind had been at ease listening to Hange’s enthusiastic babbling for hours, taking in their lively face and their bright, beautiful brown eyes behind their stained glasses. He had forgotten his worries for a while, lulled into a blissful daze by their voice, his heart almost soothed by their cheerful presence.

As the sun slowly set behind a hill, the gate creaked open to reveal a tall blond man with a well-trimmed beard and a pair of golden round glasses. Levi looked up at the newcomer who gestured to him to remain silent while he smoothly joined them, careful not to crunch the gravel under his feet.

Sensing something was off when their eyes fell on Levi’s face, Hange stopped their rant about whatever toxic plant they were blabbering about.

“Shorty? Something’s wrong? You’re as white as Moblit’s asscheeks all of a sudden!” they asked in a worried tone.

Moblit's assch-, what? Taken aback, Levi didn’t have time enough to retort.

Hange squealed when the man slid his hands over their waist from behind, but tilted their head back to look at him and flashed a beaming smile. He kissed their lips, lingering a bit too much to Levi’s liking, forcing him to avert his gaze in a burst of decency.

“By the Walls Zeke, I missed you so much!” Hange asked between kisses. “I’ve been waiting for you all day! Where have you been?”

Levi felt more and more like a creep, staring at the couple.

“Yelena missed her train to her parents' town so I gave her a drive there. Thought you wouldn’t mind, Honey!”

“Oh, Yelena… Of course I don’t mind!” Their voice faltered uncharacteristically.

Levi’s chest tightened as he noticed the way Hange’s face fell with their half-assed reply. How could someone be oblivious or careless enough to let down someone as kind as Hange on their own birthday? How could someone be cruel enough and bear to swipe Hange’s bright smile off their face?

That monkey could, of course.

Hange’s smile quickly came back to enlighten their face though. They got up, fidgeting with the paper napkin they still held in their hands. They tittered and gestured between both men.

“Oh, I'm sorry! Let me introduce you, guys!” they blurted out. “Zeke Darling, this is Levi Ackerman, Erwin’s best friend. Shorty, this is my fiancé Zeke Jaeger.”

Levi got up, gritting his teeth as he extended his hand and shook Zeke’s in a tight grip.

“What are the odds! You’re both renowned architects now I think about it!” Hange exclaimed cheerfully.

“Oh but your friend and I have already met before Honey!” The blond man smirked. “I won the Trost Finance Center building project over him!”

Zeke let go of Levi’s hand.

“Nice to see you again Ackerman,” he added with a feigned joviality.

He snaked his arm around Hange’s waist to pull them closer.

“Let’s go Honey! It’s getting late and I’d like to make it up to you tonight,” he said in a disgusting husky voice, shamelessly kissing his fiancée’s skin under their ear until they blushed and gasped like a shy teenager. Levi clenched his fists.

Hange stuttered as they bid him goodbye, promising to meet again soon over a cup of coffee, and waved to their hosts and best friend before heading to their car. They giggled when Zeke slid his hand down the small of their back and over their ass, whispering something in their ear as they walked down the driveway.

Levi’s eyes followed the rear lights until the car turned left at the end of the street, leaving a hollow feeling in his guts.

A friendly arm wrapped around his shoulder and Nanaba dragged him towards the house.

“C’mon Munchkin, let’s grab a beer and order a pizza!”

She pecked him on the cheek.

“So fucking gross Nana, I can’t stand wet kisses,” he grumbled.

“Of course you can’t sweetie.”

But he couldn’t help but smile when she pulled him closer to kiss him again and burst out laughing when he swiftly wiped his cheek.

Levi relished in the cool sensation of the breeze over his skin and the comforting warmth of his tea. The chirping of crickets nearby was lulling him into a peaceful slumber. He felt his stiff shoulders, his clenched jaw, his tense nape finally relax.

“So, Hange…” Erwin started once Nanaba had left and Miche had gone to bed.

“The fuck are you talking ‘bout Four-Eyes?” he replied, all the tension washing back over him.

Erwin raised his hands in a gesture of appeasement. “You seemed to get along well today, is all.”

Here we go, you blond bastard.

Erwin’s speech was only getting started and pain already throbbed in his head. Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

“Yeah, ‘twas nice to catch up after all those years. They’re not so bad to talk to.” He paused.  “Distracted me from this shitty life of mine for a bit.”

“I could tell.” Erwin took a sip of coffee and placed the cup back on the saucer. “You didn’t seem to enjoy Zeke’s company though.”

“That monkey? Hell no! You know how dirty he played with the Finance Tower project and fucked me over! How could I ever want to see this shithead again, you dumbass?”

Erwin knew better than to reply yet.

“How this brainiac is engaged to such a jerk is beyond me! Like, it’s their birthday and he shows up when the party's over, with all his lovey-dovey shit to cover up how he spent the afternoon with someone else instead… Disrespectful at the very least ‘f you ask me!”

Erwin smirked at his friend’s rant.

“What’s with the smirk, moron?”

“Nothing really.” Erwin’s gaze softened. “I don’t remember hearing you say so many words in one go. Ever. I wonder what got into you.” He chuckled.

Levi clicked his tongue. “Nothing special. We were having a nice little talk with Four-Eyes and I started to forget the crap piling up in my life at the moment and that fucking monkey ruined it all.”

Silence settled for a few minutes between both men.

“Seemed to do you good talking with someone else. You’re gonna hang with them again? I mean Hange.” Erwin asked after a while.

“Er yeah I guess… They mentioned a cup of coffee or shit some day soon.”

“Good! We’re your friends and we’re all worried about you, Levi. But, as you won't talk to us then talk with Hange. Anything that makes you feel better.”

Levi facepalmed to soothe the increasing pounding in his head and sighed.

“Could you mind your own fucking business for once, Blondie?” he hissed, rubbing his temples in a circle. “You’re giving me a headache.”

Erwin stood up, put a hand on Levi’s shoulder and squeezed it.

“Well, I’ll leave you alone then.”

He scooped his coffee cup off the table and took a few steps towards the door before turning around.

“Try to sleep tonight. You need to get some rest.”

Levi remained silent.

Erwin’s steps echoed in the evening darkness and he stopped briefly when gripping the handle.

“Good night Levi. See you tomorrow.”

As the door softly clicked shut, Levi let out a sharp breath he was holding for some time.

Yeah. Another day full of crap. The sparkle Hange had briefly brought in his otherwise dull life today was at least something he supposed.

“Shit! Life sucks, huh Four-Eyes?” he muttered to himself. His day couldn’t get any shittier than it already was, right?

Something vibrated in his back pocket. He fished his phone and answered without even thinking.

“Levi?” Petra’s voice. His body stiffened.

“Uhm yeah…” He ran his fingers through his hair to try and shut down his nervousness.

“We need to talk.”

Requested by anon // Prompt #30 "Where have you been?" from this drabble challenge

Proofreading @dont-f-with-moogles Thank you so much for your help Terra Darling 🩶

Header & dividers @youre-ackermine

A/N: Crossposted on AO3 as chapter 2 of my series It's not like I've got something grand to say to you // This takes place one year before Dumbstruck // English is not my usual language

[askrivetra]

Petra and Levi are sitting on the sofa in his office. Even though there are still dark circles under Levi's eyes, he looks a bit more at peace, just as he has ever since he's married Petra. He has his arm around his wife and nods at her to make the announcement.

Petra beams at everyone. "So Levi and I are very excited," she eyes her husband with a chuckle "-well Levi is excited on the inside -" she teases, "to tell you all that we are expecting a baby." She wipes away a couple of happy tears. "So I'll be taking up more of an office role but I'll be around more for questions and such."

"Nothing stressful," Levi insists, his fingers stroking Petra's arm. "Petra needs to stay as relaxed as possible."

[leviismybby]

you ship levi with petra

Not at all anon, I actually never even posted Petra haha, she is very cute and the ship is cute too. I just don't ship Levi with anyone. :)

Confess something you've thought about me on anon

[sparkywrites25]

Rivetra au where in they are together and Erwin is like “secretly” Petra’s older bro (maybe like from different mother idk) and Levi doesn’t know but Erwin knows about them

Summary: Petra Ral is holding onto more than one secret in the Scouts.

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Petra Ral

Taglist: @youre-ackermine @lunar-rainclouds @captain-natey @love4-bunny @galactict3a

Notes: If you like my work and want to see more then please join my taglist. Form is pinned on my blog.

I restarted this a lot cos I had a lot of different ideas.

Petra jerked awake at once, her body snapping into an upright position, her head flying from its comfortable nest on her lover’s shoulder. Her large, amber eyes swept the room with the same speed and dexterity as if she were searching for titan presence on the battlefield. For those seconds, her heart thrashed in her chest and each of her breasts was pushed out of her in uneasy pants. She blinked, slowly taking in her surroundings as a strong, firm hand began to rub circles into her back. 

“Easy,” Levi’s voice was low and steady, soothing against the racing rhythm of her heartbeat and breaths right now. “You’re fine. It was just a nightmare.”

It was a nightmare, Petra recalled although the recollection was quickly slipping out of her mind like water down a drain pipe. She got glimpses of bloodied bodies and torn off patches of uniform. A beautiful countryside littered with blood and fallen comrades. It wasn’t just a nightmare though. It was memory. The recent expedition to be exact. 

“Breathe,” the captain spoke again, equally low and unobtrusive to her heightened state of anxiety right now. Petra followed his instruction immediately. She inhaled long and deep, letting the oxygen flood into her lungs. She held the air for a moment, willing it to go to her brain and clear the fear that was sat in her mind. She exhaled after a moment and felt some of the tension in her shoulders begin to subside as well. 

Another breath and the feeling continued to ease off more and more. As it did, she became more aware of herself and where she was. 

She and Levi were sat on his little sofa facing the fireplace. The warmth from the flames was welcome against the slight chill that was coming from the slightly rattling window that never seemed to quite shut fully, thus allowing some of the waging wind to slip inside. She leaned towards the warmth, enjoying the feeling of her lover’s hand rubbing her back. 

Petra ran a hand over her face and sighed once she’d taken a few more deep breaths. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to just doze off.”

“Don’t apologize for resting,” Levi chided her, giving her a knowing side-eye that immediately inspired some guilt to bloom in her chest. She was reminded of his own sleeping issues. How nice it must seem to him that she could just fall asleep like that. “You need to listen to your body so that you can recover.”

Petra arched her back as she stretched up then regretted it instantly. Her face contorted into a grimace as aches and pains from earlier came rushing back into her limbs. She half-grumbled a curse word as the discomfort flowed through her. “I’m fine,” she liked automatically. 

“Tch,” Levi shook his head. “You expect me to believe that feeble bullshit?” he asked. His hand pressed firmer into her back, working at the lower muscles where her ODM gear had been most heavily placed. Petra bit back a grateful moan at the wonderful sensation of his touch there. “Go and take a hot bath. Use my place,” he told her with a jerk of his head towards his bedroom and the small private bathroom beyond it. “Hot water will do you some good.”

It was out of habit and duty that Petra even hesitated about such a generous and enticing offer. She bit her lip thoughtfully and could practically hear Levi’s eye roll in her direction.

“Petra,” he spoke softly although not many would recognize it as so given the similarity to his usual brusque tone. “Go and get some clean clothes and come back here. I’ll have the bath waiting for you. You need this. Otherwise, your muscles will just thank you by cramping or seizing up tomorrow. I doubt you want to spend another day off being in pain.”

Petra was grateful for the matter-of-fact manner in which Levi spoke. It helped to reawaken her own common sense and push back at the pride that wanted to resist special treatment. Doing so had kind of gone out of the window at this point anyway, ever since she and the captain had begun their secret relationship: late nights sharing tea and helping him with his paperwork, the occasional sleepover in his room, and some “coincidental” patrol times shared as well as shared duties. It wasn’t always easy having this secret relationship but Levi’s ability to treat Petra the same as he always had helped her to keep up the act too. Plus, they’d both agreed that being the subject of gossip and teasing and accusations of favouritism just wasn’t the sort of hassle they wanted to deal with at the present moment. Maybe one day they would but for now it suited them to keep quiet.

It was rather exciting to sneak around, as well, Petra thought to herself as she finally agreed and left Levi’s office behind to fetch some clean clothes from her room. 

On her return, she followed the light steam through to Levi’s small personal bathroom. Levi knelt next to the bathtub, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows as he swirled the water about and kept hold of the tap. The water was already over halfway filling up the tub as Petra stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. She eyed the lean muscles visible along his arms. A light blush touched her cheeks as memories of those arms holding her close began to slip into her mind. Those strong limbs pressing her into an equally strong and beautifully bare chest while soft lips pushed against hers, making her whole body heat up with intense sparkling energy. 

“Are you planning on taking a dip fully clothed?” Her lover’s question cut through her increasingly lustful thoughts and the blush in her cheeks deepened as she returned her attention to Levi who had turned the taps off and was rising to his feet. “That doesn’t really count as washing your clothes, you know.”

“Funny,” Petra smiled, trying not to imagine the clothes coming off his body and yet her mind was already wandering there, to the many nights they’d spent in his bed, kissing and letting their hands feel the way to the spots that gave them both the most intense pleasure. To the feel of him moving over her, inside her and behind her, his lips warming her skin with his touch. The power of his body, so vicious against titans but so careful and restrained with her. Her heartbeat fluttered the more she thought about it. 

“Maybe you could do the honours,” Petra’s lips quirked. 

“I’m not sure there are many honours in stripping you off and then stepping aside,” Levi retorted although he released the tiniest huff of amusement. 

“Who said anything about you stepping aside?” Petra questioned, stepping closer to him. Her hands touched his forearms, sliding up the lean sturdiness of his muscles before coming to rest atop his shoulders. Her hands squeezed the muscles there softly. “You could always join me.” She ignored the ache that rose through her wrists at the movement.

She smiled more as Levi’s hands moved to her hips and for a moment, Petra thought that she might be able to persuade him, that this bath might become all the more enjoyable. Her smile grew and her eyes shone bright and hopeful as she gazed into Levi’s grey-blue ones. 

His thumbs rubbed her sides. “Your body’s not going to thank you for having sex right now,” he breathed.

The corners of Petra’s mouth twitched irresistibly and she lowered her gaze briefly, taking another step forward until her chest was brushing against her boyfriend’s lightly. “Well, actually sir, I think it just might,” she whispered teasingly, slowly leaning in towards his face. His beautiful eyes narrowed, their attention drawn to her approaching lip. He inhaled slowly and tilted his head, lowering his head just a little to meet Petra’s mouth in a brief, tender touch. Petra lingered there, her eyes closing fully as her smile widened. “I think it’d thank me very much,” she whispered against his mouth. 

In that moment, Levi relaxed under her touch. She felt his shoulders drop for a moment and his mouth moved slowly over hers, engaging her in another gentle kiss. Her hands slid to his face as he continued to kiss her. His hands moved around to the small of her back, holding her snugly against his body. Petra relaxed into the kiss immediately, satisfied with the feeling of being in her lover’s arms, surrounded by the enticing steam of the bath and the faint aroma of the limited liquid bathing soap allowed to the upper ranks of the officers. Lavender filled her nostrils, easing away some of the lingering tensions from earlier. 

Petra’s arms began to wrap around Levi’s shoulders but his hands suddenly caught her forearms and stopped them. He broke the kiss and blinked for a moment as if waking from a dream. “It won’t thank you tomorrow when you ache even worse,” Levi reminded her, his voice low and soft. He pecked her lips once more. “When you’re feeling better,” he added. 

Petra felt like some cool air had been added to the seductive warmth of a moment ago and already the atmosphere was thinning out. She pouted a little in protest but the captain’s words still landed well. If they were to fool around right now, it would miss the whole point of the bath in the first place. 

Pulling away a little, she nodded once, smiling ruefully at her boyfriend. “Okay, you’re probably right,” she conceded. 

Levi moved his hands up to her shoulders, cupping them carefully but firmly. “Stay still. Hold onto me if you need to,” he instructed as he began to slide her jacket off her shoulders, letting it fall down her arms. He folded it up and rested it on the counter next to the sink behind them. Petra was grateful for him stripping her as it gave her a nice reason to not move her aching limbs more than she had to. Plus she liked the way that his nimble fingers quickly unfastened the buttons of her shirt one by now until the material gave way and revealed her  flat stomach and the numerous purple bruises already forming there and up closer towards her chest too. Soon he was pulling her shirt off completely although he did so more slowly once he spotted a couple of bruises on her arms along the way. 

“Did you play bounce on the ground or something?” he murmured as he folded up her shirt. 

“Something like that,” Petra shrugged then winced. 

Levi lifted his hands to her bare shoulders, stroking them softly, his thumb pressing gently into the tired muscles there. Petra’s heartbeat fluttered and her skin tingled under his touch. Each stroke brought a little relief to her shoulders which she enjoyed for those seconds before Levi lowered his hands away. 

His hands made careful work of stripping off the rest of her uniform. By the time he was finished, her legs were feeling achy. Petra reached out a hand towards the wall to steady herself as she approached the bath.

Suddenly Levi’s arms were under her back and legs and he lifted her into a bridal hold with ease. She swung her arms around his neck to stabilize herself with a soft squeak. She saw the corners of his mouth play up slightly at her noise. “I’ve got you,” he whispered as he lowered her into the bath. 

Petra couldn’t hold back the prolonged moan that escaped her as hot, pleasantly scented water washed over her at once. Her aches were replaced with this rush of heat all through her. She leaned her head back against the tub and let her eyes flutter closed. “Oh that feels good,” she breathed, letting herself sink into the water as much as she could. 

Next to the tub, Levi knelt next to her, bringing his hands through the water and reaching up to spread the water over her neck and face. Petra let him. It felt nice to have that soothing touch amplified by the heat of the water. 

“Thank you,” Petra sighed after a few minutes of just basking in the heat had passed. 

“You know, it’s ironic,” Levi commented as he took a small bowl and filled it with water from the tub, “that you’re so good at taking care of everyone else but you let things slide for yourself.” He put the bowl to one side and then leaned both of his elbows on the edge of the tub, watching her thoughtfully with his eyes narrowing a little. “You remind me of someone that way,” he mused. 

“Who?” Petra’s curiosity won out over answering Levi’s initial comment. “I just find it easier to worry about other people. I guess, with myself, it’s hard to draw the line between what’s necessary and what’s… an indulgence, I guess.” She confessed as she pushed the water around her arms and chest. 

“Soothing aches after a mission is an indulgence?” Levi questioned. Petra smiled at his dodging of her question. 

“Isn’t it?” Petra questioned, lifting her head to meet his eyes. “When I wasn’t really injured and I feel okay?” Her voice shook with uncertainty. How could she saw that she was entitled to anything after some of the things that their comrades had gone through? She moved the water around some more and inhaled the steam that still hung in the air. Her insides melted under the seductive heat, chasing away some of the chilly anxiety that was trying to creep in with her thoughts. 

Suddenly Levi’s hand plunged into the water, reaching for hers and lifting it out, entwining their fingers together as he did. “You didn’t break any bones, Petra but you still got hurt. Your body is worn out from fighting so hard. Think of the comrades that you saved today. They’re alive and can go home and see their families because of you. I’d say they’d agree that the least you deserve is a hot bath.”

Petra’s anxiety melted away from her instantly and she shook her head with the softest of laughs. “Wow. With that kinda speech, you can give the commander a run for his money,” she teased, squeezing his fingers. “Thank you,” she added quietly. 

“Tch,” Levi shook his head. “You’re the one reminding me of him right now. Pushing yourself forward without resting.” He stroked her fingers with his thumb. 

“Me, like the commander?” Petra scoffed, coughing a little awkwardly. “I don’t see it.”

“In that respect you are,” Levi remarked, a slight smirk tugging at his mouth. “It’s a pain,” he mused before the smirk dropped entirely. He rested his elbows on the side of the tub. “You can only stay as strong as you are by resting, Petra. By doing what you need to feel better.”

It was Petra’s turn to squeeze Levi’s hand. “Shall I remind you of that when you only rest for four hours?”

“Heh, you think I wouldn’t sleep longer if I could?” Levi questioned, lifting both of his eyebrows and lowering Petra’s hand back into the water. “Don’t take this for granted, Petra. Rest for as long as you can. Heal for as long as you can.”

Petra held his gaze for a moment, considering his words as the heat from the bath continued to soak into her skin, chasing away the remnants of the pains from the mission.

——————————————

An hour later, the fireplace was blazing hotter and higher than before. 

Petra and Levi had returned to the fireplace. Levi’s arms cradled Petra close to him, holding her so that she could lean her head back on his shoulder. He made no complaint for the wetness that had seeped into his shoulder. The clean smell of her hair was soothing to him as was the feeling of her nestled perfectly into his arms. 

Outside the window, the wind had died down and the world was quiet. The crackling of the fireplace rose in volume. An aura of peace shrouded the silent, relaxing couple. 

Petra could stay here all night and all day, she realized happily as she leaned against Levi. The thought of shutting out the cruel world that they lived in and the pain that was constantly being inflicted within it was an appealing option if an unrealistic one. Eventually they would have to return to their jobs, their duties. For the sake of humanity. They had to give the people hope. They had to do their best to bring people back alive. They had to give the world a reason to keep smiling, to find the joy in life. Otherwise what was the point of all this fighting? They had to fight for moments like these: relaxing by the fire with loved ones, emotional conversations and cups of tea. All the little pleasures in this life. 

Watching the flames was so comfortably hypnotic that Petra’s eyes drooped again and again. After fighting back a couple of yawns, she eventually let one escape. 

“Go to bed,” Levi murmured, kissing her temple.

Petra gave a soft, protesting groan. “I’m comfy here,” she murmured, snuggling into his shoulder all the more. 

“That bath will have been for nothing if you hurt your back falling asleep on this shitty sofa,” Levi pointed out. He lifted his hand from around her shoulder to play with the damp strands of her hair. “Go and get some sleep, Petra,” he urged her with another kiss to her temple. There was a long pause before he spoke again. “People are going to need you at your best to keep their spirits up,” he added. “You’re always telling us to take care of ourselves, right? Follow your own advice.”

His answer brought a deeper smile out in Petra’s face and she tried not to laugh aloud at it. He made good points, as he often did, but Petra still didn’t want to leave the comfort of his embrace and the gorgeous warmth of the fireplace. Even the prospect of wrapping herself up in bed didn’t compare to this feeling right now. However, she was out of any logical arguments that would swing. 

She yawned once more and stretched her arms out ahead of her with a slow, resigned nod. “Okay, you win. I’ll go to bed,” she said pushing herself up to her feet. She felt him standing up behind her. Smiling, she turned to face him, her hands moving to his cheeks. His hands found her sides as she leaned in to kiss him again. “Goodnight,” she whispered. 

“Goodnight, Petra,” Levi whispered against her lips before moving away from her and walking towards his desk which still had a mountain of paperwork sat atop it. 

Petra sighed. “At least pretend that you’re going to go to bed,” she complained softly. However by this point, she knew when to choose her battles over this. She watched as the captain sat himself behind his desk and pulled the pile of paperwork in front of him. 

“Sleep, Petra,” was all her boyfriend said on the matter. 

——————————————

Admittedly the mild chill in the hallways was a refreshing balm against the heat of the bath, fireplace and her own drowsiness. It forced Petra to focus on navigating the many hallways and stairways of the headquarters. The further she walked, the more her aches began to wake up. She slowed her pace, determined not to undo the bath completely. She slid her hands into her jacket pockets and gazed out of the windows as she walked. 

The world was hauntingly beautiful in the middle of the night, Petra thought as she stopped by a pane and gazed out at the darkened world and the shadowy houses of Trost all around the walls of Scout Headquarters. A constant reminder of the people that Petra was here to protect. A reminder that they were part of humanity as well as fighting for them. 

You are starting to sound like the Commander a little bit, Petra mused to herself. Maybe he’s rubbing off on me. I suppose it was gonna show up sooner or later. We are related after all.

Not that anyone in the Scouts was aware that Commander Erwin Smith was, in fact, Petra’s half-brother. As she began to walk again, continuing down the empty hallways, she let her thoughts wander back over her time in the military. It was a careful secret they’d both kept well - helped by the fact that Petra had a different surname and had inherited more of her father’s looks than her mother’s though her mother often said that she and Erwin had the same smile and the same determination in their eyes whenever they got it in their minds to do something. She’d been so frustrated when Petra had been determined to join the military like her brother. 

Erwin was already a squad leader by the time that Petra began her training. It was determined to be the simpler course of action to avoid any suspicion and claims of favouritism if they just kept their family connection a secret. Not that there was anything to found such things. Erwin had always been good at treating Petra the way they’d agreed that he would - as just another Scout. They’d both managed to hold the secret very well so far. Petra had made only one request when she’d first joined the regiment. She didn’t want to be in Erwin’s squad. Her brother had agreed that, while having her in his squad would give him the opportunity to watch over her, it also potentially offered them both a distraction on the battlefield and that was something they both considered too risky. Out of sight didn’t guarantee that they wouldn’t worry about each other but it had to be better than watching each other fight. It would force them to focus on themselves and trust the other one to be able to stay alive and do their job. 

It was the right decision, Petra mused with a smile. She wasn’t “the Commander’s kid sister” nor was her elevation to Levi Squad any act of nepotism. She had made it this far within the Scouts on her own. Even though it meant telling lies along the way including to her captain. 

Petra pushed those thoughts away from her as another yawn tumbled from her mouth. The prospect of bed was even more welcoming and comforting now. The thought of sinking her head onto her pillow and wrapping herself in her bedsheets was a very happy one.

She was walking along a particularly quiet hallway when a door in the middle suddenly opened, filling a rectangular patch of the floor with the familiar amber of firelight. The sudden appearance of the light caught her attention and she lifted her eyes towards it instantly. Who else is up at this time of night?

A tall and familiar figure stepped out into the doorway, turning towards Petra. “You’re up very late, Petra,” Erwin remarked. 

His sleeves were rolled up and rumpled and several buttons of his shirt were undone as well. His hair was ruffled with stray stands sticking up. He immediately began to smooth it down. Petra thought back a chuckle. Some habits never change. Always has to look his best as soon as someone is watching him. 

He’d been that way for as long as Petra had known him. She’d never really understood why. Why he was always putting on one face when there was more going on below the surface. Whenever she’d asked him, he simply told her that it was easier to catch flies with honey rather than vinegar and that sometimes things got done better with charming smiles rather than bitter bickering. Their mother agreed and Petra couldn’t say that she disagreed with that logic either but even so, there was still something that her

“Yeah,” Petra acknowledged, her hands finding their way to each other through the air and clasping, channeling the nervous energy that was beginning to rise up through her. She couldn’t admit that she’d just spent the evening in the arms of her superior officer (and Humanity’s Strongest, for that matter.) She and Levi had long since determined that keeping it out of the ears of those who would gossip and those who would have concerns was just going to be better all round. “I just wanted to… to go for a walk before bed. I’ve been thinking about a lot,” she said, taking as much truth out of today as she could. She had taken a walk this morning… which was technically before bed. She did have a lot on her mind too. Nothing she’d told the commander was a lie. 

“It’s been a trying few days,” Erwin acknowledged, sliding his hands into his pockets. “It was a particularly brutal expedition.”

That was a line her brother would say most expeditions. So far the mildest description of an expedition, in her experience, was “rough” and even then it had taken out a quarter of their soldiers, mostly new recruits at the time. It didn’t fill Petra with reassurance or confidence about her ability to survive the expedition. It just meant that the danger was still as present and still as ruthless as ever. She was just lucky at this point, as were they all. Petra had seen many good, talented soldiers being eaten.

Petra cut those thoughts off. She wouldn’t be able to sleep if she kept thinking about all that. The advice that Levi usually gave their squad after missions came to mind; focus on being alive and safe within the Walls again, otherwise it’ll drive you mad and next time you won’t come back. Blunt but effective words coming from the typically blunt captain.

“They’re always brutal,” Petra remarked as the resignation and sadness continued to swim around in her eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen an expedition that wasn’t.” She folded her arms and turned her eyes back to one of the windows she’d been looking out of. She could still see them, their comrades, spread across the ground like they were dolls. 

“That’s true. The very nature of our job is brutal, no matter the fatality count,” Erwin remarked. He walked slowly towards her, tilting his head a little. Some of the stray strands of his ruffled hair fell into his face. “I’m glad I ran into you. I was hoping that we could talk for a few moments.” He paused. “If you’re not too tired, of course.” 

He reached out and touched her elbow, just a small gesture but the action helped to ground Petra’s thoughts back to the present moment. 

Petra’s gaze lingered on the blue stillness of the outside world for a moment as she exhaled slowly. “Yeah, I’m good to stay up for a little longer.” She murmured and slowly turned back around to face Erwin. “Is something wrong?” she asked, anxiety creeping into her voice. 

“Nothing like that,” Erwin gestured for her to walk into his office. “Don’t worry.”

“Just what every Scout wants to hear while being summoned to the Commander’s office,” Petra commented, her eyes flickering playfully towards his as she strode into his office. 

“I’m not exactly talking to you as a Scout,” Erwin murmured as he followed her inside.

The warmth of it welcomed Petra instantly. Unlike Levi’s office which had a minimalist structure in all with a bookcase, desk, sofa, chairs and a fireplace, Erwin’s room was like stepping into a library. Every wall not taken up by either the fireplace or windows was covered by bookshelf after bookshelf. It gave the room a comfortable library feel that felt very Erwin. In the middle of the room stood his desk with a couple of chairs beside it. Further along, a small sofa sat opposite the fireplace just like Levi’s. Erwin gestured to the sofa and they both took a seat on it. Petra’s attention immediately turned towards the flames which were still reasonably high and piled with a considerable amount of logs. Apparently Erwin wasn’t planning on getting some rest anytime soon. Petra smiled at the similarity to Levi who was no doubt still cooped up in his office with papers. 

They sat comfortably for about a minute or so. With each second that passed, Petra wondered whether something was actually wrong and that Erwin was simply trying to keep her calm about something. Her brother’s ability to lie smoothly - while not something she’d experienced much - wasn’t lost on her either. 

“Erwin.” The sound of her brother’s name sounded unusual from her lips, in their place of work anyway. Here he was just “the commander” or “Commander Erwin” if she used his name at all. Right now, on their own, it felt odd to be laying official titles to one side. “Are you sure that everything’s okay?” 

“Everything is fine,” Erwin insisted, “although Mother has contacted me about you coming home for a visit soon.”

Petra released a breath in mingled relief that nothing was wrong and a little bit of exasperation. Her mother had been asking for her to come home for a while. Petra didn’t hate the idea in itself. It would be very good to see her, and her father too. She enjoyed the time she spent with them; being able to act like an ordinarily civilian was nice from time to time and it was a much needed rest. Being able to just do ordinary things every day and sleep in a bit longer and eat something other than the harsh military rations would be pretty damn good.

The trouble didn’t lie in going home but rather the preparation to go back. At some point during the trip, her mother would begin a conversation about whether Petra was still happy with the Military and if there was really no other work that she could be happy with. Petra bowed her head a little and reached up her hand to rub the bridge of her nose in anticipation of that conversation yet again. She’d lost track of how many times they’d had that conversation and how, each and every time, their mother had worn the same shining glimmer of hope in her eyes. The same shining blue of Erwin’s. Petra would hear the sorrow and the worry in her mother’s voice and she did feel for her, she really did. 

But ultimately Petra would give her the same answer and deep down she’d resent her mother for making her give that same answer. For making her hurt her with the same answer.

“Of course she has,” she sighed, still staring into the fire. It was never going to be something that was ever unexpected but it was even more likely now after recent expeditions. 

Some of the more recent fatalities had been children, brothers, sisters and cousins of the Ral’s neighbours. Petra could only imagine the impact of watching neighbours grieving over their children when your own child was still alive, still living in that danger. Petra could only imagine the level of anxiety that her mother was sitting in now. But still, the thought of reliving that conversation yet again held her back. 

“I will go and see her,” Petra finally told her brother, “at some point. Just not yet.” She straightened up in her seat. “I don’t want to argue with her about still being in the Scouts.”

“Is that something you both argue about a lot?” Erwin asked with interest. For a moment, Petra scowled up at him, fire shining in her amber eyes. 

You should know this. Petra thought accusingly. You should know we do because you should be going to see Mom too. You should be taking more time off to spend with her. You’re just as much at risk on expeditions as I am. You should know what we talk about. As soon as those thoughts passed through her head, Petra regretted them. Everyone in the Scouts knew how hard their commander worked. A select few even knew that he kept late hours and was constantly revising his strategy to try and minimize Scout casualties. It was a heavy burden and Erwin had taken on that mantle years before he should have had to. 

So her features softened and she looked away with a long exhale. He was a busy man. They had both chosen this busy life. It didn’t leave them with many opportunities for the usual sibling bonding time. It had been that way for all of Petra’s life. Erwin was twelve when she was born. He had been training in the cadets during her infancy and by the time she was old enough to go to school, he was already an experienced Scout. 

“I’m sorry,” Erwin’s voice lowered considerably. “I probably should know this.”

“It’s okay. You’re busy,” Petra said, swallowing back a brief resurgence of the bitterness from earlier as it shot back up her throat. “We do talk about it a lot. It feels like it’s every time I’m on leave. She asks if I’m still happy to keep doing this or if I could imagine doing something else.” She leaned forward again, elbows pressing into her knees as she reached up to cup her temples and push her hair out of her face. “We keep having the same conversation, over and over and it’s…” she trailed off. 

“That sounds frustrating,” her brother murmured. “Especially when you’re so committed to this life that you’ve chosen. You don’t need to be reevaluating it all the time.” Petra felt him shift slightly closer to her on the couch. She turned to him briefly and nodded. 

“Exactly,” she answered. “Why does she insist on hearing me say it over and over? It hurts her, I know it does. But I’m not gonna lie to her or give her false hope. This is what I chose. She needs to accept that.”

“She does,” Erwin agreed. He turned his own attention towards the firelight. “But that’s probably very hard for her. Both of her children are in the walls’ most dangerous military regiment. She’s already lost a husband inside the walls, which are supposed to be safe. Now both of her children travel outside the walls where the dangers are all the worst and ever-present. Every couple of months, she watches us leave the safety of the walls, knowing that the odds of us both returning are never particularly good.”

Erwin’s words made Petra’s stomach fill with a violent nauseous feeling as she imagined that truth going through her mother’s mind every time the Scouts left. 

“I understand that that must be hard for her-” Petra began to say but Erwin cut her off. 

“How can you and I fully understand?” he asked, his eyes fixing on Petra’s. “We don’t have children. We can’t fully appreciate what she goes through every time we leave the walls.”

Petra’s hands clasped together in front of her, wringing her fingers hard. “What are we supposed to do to make it better then? We shouldn’t have to give up on the life we chose,” she argued softly. “I love Mom, I do but I couldn’t do anything else,” she explained. 

Suddenly Erwin’s hand moved to cover both of hers. “Nor could I and I love her dearly too. We can’t give up the purpose we chose. That’s something that maybe she can’t understand,” he continued. “Why our purpose is so important to us. Have you ever sat her down and explained things fully to her?”

Petra bit her lip and thought about it. “I… I’m not sure that I have.”    “Perhaps it’s time you did. You can only break this cycle with her by talking things out with her,” Erwin mused. Leaning forward, his hand squeezed hers. “It’s been some time since she’s seen me too. We can both go home for a couple of nights and talk to her together.”

The idea filled Petra with a refreshing sense of relief. “That would be great,” Petra said, perking up at once. “That would really help, Erwin. Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for visiting my own mother,” Erwin remarked, his lips tipping up into a playful smile. “We can make it easier on each other by going home together and drawing her worry together.” He released her hands and clasped his own. “I’m sure she’s got plenty to say to me after so long as well.”

“Does she keep asking you whether you still want to be commander?”

“Not that specifically. I made it clear to her that I wasn’t going to change my mind.”

Petra exhaled with a slight pout. “Lucky.”

“You think?” Erwin eyed his sister with an increasing smile. “You’re still young enough for her not to worry so much about relationships at my children.” He pointed out, turning away from her a little to stare into the fire, his smile growing. “At my age, she would expect me to be married with children by now,” he commented. “She didn’t like me choosing the Scouts over Marie,” he continued. 

“You and Marie were so good together.” Petra recalled. “I don’t know how you did that. Giving up someone that you loved,” she mused. For a moment or two, there was silence between them and Petra eyed her brother with a slight frown. “Don’t tell me you didn’t love her. I know you did. You tried to pretend that you didn’t love her back then.”

“That pretense was as much for me as it was an attempt to reassure you and Mother,” Erwin recalled. “As much as it was for Marie. But it wasn’t fair to subject her to that fear of watching me ride out to the titans every few months.”

“Plenty of Scouts have people who do that. Would you say that they shouldn’t be married?” Petra asked. 

Erwin smiled at the turnaround. “No. I’m not speaking for anyone else. Only my situation. I knew that there was someone who could give Marie the constant family life that she wanted. Nile loved her as much as I did.”

Petra scooted back on the sofa, resting her hands in her lap as a soft frown began to fill her expression. “Yeah but she loved you more, didn’t she?” she asked in a quiet voice. 

Erwin didn’t answer straight away and Petra simply watched him for a moment, her eyes memorizing his side profile as the firelight danced over his features. Many people would see this man and they could only see the commander that led them against the titans time and time again. They saw the cool, firm strategist whose long range formation had saved many Scout lives in the long run. They saw the genius and his bravery. They saw his cleverness and dedication to fighting for humanity. They didn’t see the sacrifice he had made along the way. They didn’t see the compassion and care that he held for those closest to him. They didn’t see the man beneath the title and the responsibility. 

“I’m sorry,” Petra said quickly. “I’m not trying to reopen old wounds, Erwin.”

“It’s all right,” Erwin murmured. “I know.”

“I’ve always thought that you deserved to have both,” Petra told him. “That you deserve love in your life after everything that you do.”

The chuckle that suddenly slipped out of her brother startled her and she blinked at him in slow confusion. 

“Do I? After sending how many people to their deaths?” Erwin questioned. “Do I really deserve to have that in my life?”

“Yes,” Petra said without hesitation, smiling as her brother eyed her with genuine surprise. “You’re a commander. Commanders have to carry the weight of their decisions,” she said, placing her hand on his shoulder. “That doesn’t mean that you don’t get to live, Erwin.”

Erwin brought a free hand up to cover hers. “One moment ago, I was counseling you and now you’ve turned this around onto me,” he mused. “I’m impressed.” He squeezed her hand. “I appreciate what you’re saying but I still stand by my decision and I think Marie is happy enough with Nile. She has a family safe within Wall Rose. She has a good life.”

Petra opened her mouth to argue and then closed it again. Tonight was not the night to push it. Instead, she leaned her head on her brother’s shoulder, above his hand. 

“I don’t regret this choice, Petra, any more than you have,” Erwin assured her. “Fighting for humanity gives me my purpose. Improving the Scouts’ survival rates and taking any victory against the titans is important to me. Just as I know fighting for humanity is important to you. We’ll explain that to Mother when we go home, together. We’ll break that cycle. All we can do from there is move forward.”

Petra chuckled softly and raised her head to shake it at her brother. “You just can’t stop with the speeches even here, can you?” she teased. 

“Well, if you wouldn’t be so in need of brotherly advice,” Erwin teased. 

“Says the man who was getting some counseling a few minutes ago,” Petra countered. 

“Fair. Although I’m sure the time will come when I’m counseling you about your love life.” 

Petra let out a scoffing sound. “Oh please,” she muttered, trying to force her voice not to crack or give any indication that she was lying. “I am not there yet. I’ve got enough to think about just getting through the expeditions,” she continued, “and not throttling Oluo every time he opens his damn mouth or bites his stupid tongue.”

Erwin tilted his head at her, not even disguising the smirk that was forming there now although there was another look in his eyes, something that made Petra feel uncertain. It was like curiosity but not quite. Something more. “Could there be some complicated feelings towards your comrade perhaps? You do spend a great deal of time with your team,” Erwin mused teasingly. 

Petra brought a hand to her lips and gagged as nausea shot up her throat. “Oh, no” she said emphatically. “Please don’t say that again, Erwin. I just threw up a little in my mouth.”

Her brother chuckled quietly. “Apologies for making you feel so ill so close to bed time,” he told her. His gaze lifted to the small clock on his mantelpiece. “Speaking of, I think I’ve held you up quite enough tonight.”

“I don’t mind. It’s been nice talking to you,” Petra admitted. 

“We don’t do it as often as we should,” Erwin agreed. 

“Well you’re a busy man. I understand,” Petra said, “and we did agree that we wouldn’t make it public that we’re related.”

“We did. But I still enjoy spending time with my sister even if it means chasing her up to visit our mother.” Erwin smiled. 

Petra smiled and shook her head. It helped to know that she and Erwin would both go home and see their mother and talk things out. It had been a long time since the three of them were all together as a family, including Petra’s father who got on fairly well with Erwin, helped by the fact that he didn’t try and be his father. Petra didn’t know much about Erwin’s father. Neither he nor their mother liked to discuss him in front of Petra and her father. Petra couldn’t say that she wasn’t curious but, again, this wasn’t a night for that either. 

She pushed herself up to her feet and rolled her shoulders. “I better go and get some sleep then. Work myself up for this talk with Mom,” she teased. 

Erwin rose up more gracefully than she had done. He carefully wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “It’ll work out well,” he told her. “Goodnight, Petra.”

“Goodnight, Erwin,” Petra hugged her brother briefly before heading towards the door. Carefully, she opened it slowly so that it didn’t creak and then slipped out into the shadows of the darkened hallway, her footsteps quietly echoing as they gradually began to disappear. 

——————————————

His sister had become quite the proficient liar.

Erwin mused on this as he stood behind the door, listening to Petra’s footsteps echoing against the floor. She was going back the way she came rather than the direction she’d been going in when Erwin had interrupted her. It made him smile, to think that their conversation had gotten her thinking, had changed her mind. What specifically that was, he couldn’t say for sure but he had a good idea of who it involved. The sharer of the secret that she’d been keeping from him for some time.

He wasn’t sure when it had happened but he was glad that she could hold her own with a lie. It would be better this way. Better than things being out in the open and complicating things and just generally getting in the way. Some things weren’t meant to be a public matter. Sometimes things were better kept as secrets. The truth didn’t always set people free when it was spoken out loud. Sometimes doing so came with a bitter price. Erwin knew that better than anyone else. He’d paid it.

Smiling to himself, he stepped quietly out into the hallway, towards her retreating footsteps. He knew where she was going so he took his time. 

Soon enough he was stood around the corner, watching his sister lingering outside Captain Levi’s doorway. How long she and his strongest soldier had been in a relationship, Erwin didn’t know. Neither of them were aware that Erwin had discreetly noticed Petra leaving Levi’s rooms rather late some nights or that something was different about his sister. He’d chosen not to confront them about it. Their relationship wasn’t impacting them on missions or in training and the less gossip about either of them among the other soldiers, the better. 

Erwin knew it was selfish to focus on the benefits of their relationship as opposed to his sister’s happiness but the two things weren’t mutually exclusive and, he didn’t feel particularly inclined to meddle in Petra’s relationship without just cause. He trusted her to be able to hold her own or come to him if she needed help or advice and it suited him that she hadn’t. He could focus on other matters. 

Still, there was a sentimentality to watching the captain’s door open and the happiness spread across Petra’s face as she walked into the glowing light radiating from within. 

The two of them deserved to be happy together. In this dismal world, you had to take it where you could. 

[pickalilywrites]

Levi plans to asks out Petra for Valentines day, but Zeke beats him to it. Feeling upset by it, he stays in, but receives a call from Petra herself asking if she could come over after a terrible date with Zeke.

last one. thanks for waiting :)

right here waiting

rivetra. high school au. 2689 words

Once again, Levi misses the entrance to “Wings of Freedom,” a song he and his friends have rehearsed at least a hundred times by now. He knows the song by heart, but he keeps coming in half a beat early because his mind is elsewhere. Mike and Hanji are about to keep going, but Levi makes a rewinding gesture with his finger to signal them to go back to the beginning even though this is the fifth time tonight he’s messed up the beginning. This isn’t even the first song Levi’s messed up. They’ve been at it for an hour already and the entrances that Levi hasn’t missed have been sung with flat notes and were completely void of feeling. At this latest mistake, Mike and Hanji exchange looks.  

Rather than strumming the opening chords once more, Hanji tucks their pick into the strings of their guitar. “Do you want to take a break, Levi? You seem kind of out of it. It’s not like we don’t practice every other day. We could take tonight off,” they suggest.  

“I’m not out of it. I’m fine,” Levi snaps perhaps more harshly than he intended based on the eyebrow that Mike raises. He’ll feel guilty about it later and give Hanji a belated apology once he’s in a better mood. Thankfully, his friend knows about his moods enough not to mind. With a sigh, Levi rubs his face and says more calmly, “It’s fine. Let’s just take it from the top again.”  

Mike has already set his drumsticks aside and stretches his arms above his head. “Nah, let’s take a break. I could use one, and you’re in one of those moods again. Might as well just call it a night so you can spend the night being grumpy about Zeke and Petra without any distractions,” he says as Hanji snickers.  

“There’s no Zeke and Petra,” Levi snaps reflexively even though he should be denying that he’s grumpy about them in the first place.  

The drummer of their band has hit the nail on the head, though. Levi’s been in a horrible mood leading up to today. It’s not that he hates Valentine’s Day. Most years he doesn’t pay any attention to it, but this year is different because he had plans. He had only failed to act upon them fast enough and suddenly Petra had been swept away on a date by someone else. To make things worse, the person who had asked Petra out before Levi could get the question out of his mouth is Zeke Jaeger, the most pretentious asshole in their school. It’s enough to make Levi swear off all subsequent Valentine’s Days altogether. 

“I mean, there’s kind of a Zeke and Petra,” Hanji says. They pull up a chair and sit backwards on it, their arms resting on the back of the chair. “They’re going out tonight. They’ve probably had dinner at a nice, swanky restaurants, the ones that cook the steaks right in front of you. But should you really feel bad? If Petra’s going out with someone like Zeke Jaeger, you have to question her taste in men. Maybe you dodged a bullet.”  

Mike shakes his head. “It’s not her fault. That guy is charming as fuck. He really buttered me up talking about indie bands. Just when I thought we were being great friends, he asked me if I could lend him my history homework because he forgot to do it last night. He knows how to get people to like him. He’s insidious,” Mike says. 

“SAT word,” Hanji says, throwing up a hand to air high-five Mike.  

“Did you give him your homework?” Levi asks Mike. 

“... yes,” Mike admits reluctantly. 

“Tch.” 

“He’s really charismatic!” Mike protests as Hanji cackles.  

“Well, I guess that’s true. It’s hard not to like him when he’s directed his attention towards you. The dude is charming and sociable, pretty much everything you’re not,” Hanji says to Levi who scowls in reply. Hanji should probably stop talking now if they want to avoid Levi’s ire, but somehow they’ve never felt the need to watch Levi’s temper. “I guess it’s not really Petra’s fault in the end. Does she even know you’re interested in her? If you really wanted to pursue her, you should have asked her out before Zeke. She probably went with him because she didn’t think you were interested in dating her.”  

“It’s fine. It’s whatever. It’s over now, so can we just ... practice or whatever?” Levi asks because he doesn’t want to talk about it right now or ever. He’d really like to just play music the entire night, but he knows that his lack of concentration is going to make any rehearsal difficult. He hears Mike and Hanji start up the first few bars of “Wings of Freedom” once more, but they play half-heartedly, their own morale affected by Levi’s bad mood. In the end, Levi lets out a tired sigh and sits on the couch in the corner of the garage and curls up with the notebook he and the others use to scrawl lyrics when they’re brainstorming.  

The walls of the garage reverberate from the drum beats that Mike practices, a low, syncopated rhythm that pulses against Levi’s ear. Hanji is strumming away softly, practicing a different song. As they play, they hum the countermelody to a song that is still in their drafts. The noise is something that would probably distract other people from writing new music, but Levi is used to it by now and filters it out, allowing it to fade into the background of his mind as he fiddles with his pencil and stares at a blank page. He doesn’t write a word on it but he can already see the words “I’m sorry” scribbled over and over the page in his own handwriting.  

He’s not sure why his own hesitation is preventing him from asking Petra out. They’re just words, and the worst thing she can do is say no. At least he believed that was the worst thing that could happen. It turns out that not doing anything and having the worst person in the world ask out the girl he likes instead is the worst thing that can happen. But if Levi is too much of a coward to ask Petra out, does he even deserve to go out with her in the first place? Maybe he should resign himself to being a pathetic loner for the rest of his life. 

Levi is still moping on the couch when his phone vibrates. Without looking at the screen, he picks up. “What is it?” 

There’s a crackle on the other end and the sound of cars passing by. The person on the other side doesn’t speak, just makes a noise like sniffling, and for a moment Levi wonders if he’s being prank called. He has half a mind to just hang up when he suddenly hears Petra’s voice.  

“L-Levi, can you c-come pick me up?” she asks, her voice breaking towards the end.  

He’s already off the couch and grabbing his jacket off, shrugging it on while still keeping the phone to his ear. “Yeah, of course. Let me know where to pick you up. I’ll leave right now,” he says, ignoring the curious looks he’s receiving from his bandmates. He nods as Petra tells him the address and lets her know that he’ll be there soon before hanging up. 

“Was that Petra?” Hanji asks, interest piqued. They’ve stopped strumming on their guitar. They’re too excited to stand still, bouncing up and down on the balls of their feet. It’s obvious from the expression on their face that they want to extract as much information from Levi as possible but they’re withholding questions so as to not hold Levi back from the task at hand. “Levi, go to her!”  

Levi’s hand is on the doorknob already. “I’m going,” he scowls.  

“Go to her, Levi!” Mike echoes with a grin on his face.  

“Go to her! Go to her!” Hanji and Mike call as Levi runs out.  

⑅ ♥̩̥̩♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙ˊˎ 

Levi isn’t surprised when he pulls up to the address that Petra has given him. It’s Giovanni’s, one of those steakhouses that people dress up to go to and where the chefs cook the steaks right in front of you. It’s on the other side of town where most of the upscale restaurants and stores are. Levi’s never been in this area except to drive right past it, but it’s a neighborhood that suits the tastes of a rich, privileged, pretentious surgeon’s son like Zeke.  

As he pulls up to the restaurant, he sees Petra waiting outside, shivering in the cold even though she has a perfectly good men’s blazer folded over her arm. She had taken the time to dress up for the dinner. She’s wearing a off-shoulder cocktail dress made of a rich, red satin with matching heels, and her ginger hair has been curled immaculately to frame her face. She must have been wearing makeup earlier, but the only evidence of it is the faint red that still stains her lips. Her eyes are still red from crying, but her expression turns from sadness to relief when she sees Levi’s beat-up car pull into a parking spot.  

She hurries to the car, heels clicking against the pavement, and slips inside. As soon as she gets in, she crumples into the seat. She doesn’t cry, but she’s taking deep breaths as she tries to compose herself. After a while, she says shakily, “I don’t want to talk about it.”  

“Okay” is all Levi says and he pulls out of the parking lot and starts on the long ride home. He should have turned on the radio so Petra wouldn’t feel self-conscious about crying if she needs to, but there’s too high a chance of radio stations marathoning love songs so he decides silence is the best option. Periodically, he glances at Petra, but she keeps her head down so that her hair covers her face. In her lap sits the blazer folded nicely as her fingers pick off invisible lint.  

They’re stopped at a stoplight when something compels Levi to make conversation.  

“You look pretty,” he tells Petra, and he regrets it instantly. It’s not like him to hand out compliments for free.  

“Yeah, pretty fucking pathetic,” Petra says with a self-deprecating laugh. It’s only now that she lifts her head, brushing her hair away from her face. She leans against the side door, one arm resting on the elbow rest while her cheek is pressed against her hand. Even miserable, she looks beautiful. “This isn’t how I imagined the evening was going to turn out.”  

He wonders how she thought the evening was going to turn out. She probably thought Zeke was going to take her home, maybe kiss her on the doorstep, and then make their relationship official by announcing it to the school on Monday morning. God, the thought of it makes him sick.  

“He left me at the restaurant,” Petra continues without any prompting from Levi. She looks more angry than miserable now, her brows furrowed in frustration as she tries to understand why the night had taken a turn for the worse. She glances at Levi from the corner of her eye to gauge his expression as she recounts the night. “We were having a good time, at least I thought so. He took me to such a nice place, and I dressed up for it, too. We both had the steak and the waiter even said we were such a beautiful couple.”  

Here, she doesn’t notice the slight grimace on Levi’s face.  

“And then he got a call from someone. I didn’t think much of it, although looking back now it was really rude of him to pick up someone else’s call while he was on a date with me, especially since it wasn’t an emergency or anything,” Petra says. The more she speaks, the more she fiddles with the blazer sitting on her lap. She rubs the fabric of the sleeve between her fingers anxiously. “He came back after his call — and we had just ordered a dessert to split between us — and told me had to leave for a party. That junior for Paradis University he interviewed with for admissions called him and invited him to a party, said it was good for an incoming freshman to network with people and get a taste of university life outside of just the academics.”  

“Hmm,” Levi hums as he listens. He doesn’t like a single word he hears. Listening to anything regarding Zeke usually annoys him, but everything Petra has just said is making his blood boil over. He tries to keep his voice calm and level as he asks, “He couldn’t have taken you? Or at least driven you home?” 

“I wasn’t invited. He said it would make me uncomfortable if I went because I wouldn’t know anyone. Never mind that he doesn’t know anyone aside from the person who interviewed him,” Petra says bitterly. She rolls up the blazer now and sets it beside her instead of letting it take up space on her lap. “The party was at a house near the campus. It’s the complete opposite direction of where we live, so Zeke asked me to call one of my friends to pick me up so he could just drive there right away. And then he left me there.”  

“Asshole.”  

“I know!” Petra says, and it gives Levi a level of satisfaction that she agrees with him. She turns to Levi now, her hands on the arm rest between them. “He didn’t even wait for the dessert to come either. He just peeled out of there and I had to pay the bill, too.”  

Levi has always known Zeke was terrible, but everything Petra tells him makes Zeke look exponentially worse. It’s like there’s no limit to how awful that asshole can be. He’s gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles have turned white. 

“He told me he’d pay me back on Monday and then left me with his stupid jacket,” Petra sighs. She flicks the blazer beside her with a finger and then turns away to look out the window again. “I spent an hour crying in the bathroom before I called you. One of the waitresses felt bad for me and snuck me an extra dessert. God, I’m so pathetic.” 

“It’s not you,” Levi tells her. “Zeke just sucks. You deserve better. You deserve someone who respects you and treats you right. You deserve someone who doesn’t make you blame yourself when he’s the one being a shithead.”  

Petra laughs half-heartedly and Levi’s words, but she does seem in better spirits than she was earlier this evening. “If you ever find a guy like that, let me know. Tell him I’ll be right here waiting.”  

Levi wants to be that guy. He wants to be the guy that’s better. He wants to be the one to take Petra to dinner, the one to never abandon her. He wants to be the one that Petra deserves and the one that deserves her, but he’s not sure if he is. All this time he’s been right here waiting to see if he is the right person, but he’s not sure he wants to sit around waiting anymore.  

“Do you want to get ice cream?” he asks Petra. He sees her look at him in surprise and he shrugs in response. “It’s too shitty to end your night like this. Let’s get ice cream.”  

Petra purses her lips, the corners of her mouth turning upward. “I’d like that a lot,” she tells Levi and then sits back in her seat. Her head is turned toward the window once more, but Levi can see the smile on her face in the reflection. 

He decides he won’t hesitate any longer. He’s tired of being a coward. Once Petra has gotten over Zeke, Levi plans to shoot his shot. Until then, he’ll be right here waiting patiently.  

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Endure V: Anniversary

Series Synopsis: You and Eren Jaeger have been best friends since the age of two, but the two of you are destined for an inevitable tragedy. The world you have been born into is cruel; it is one where friends are traitors and enemies are allies, one where you find yourself doubting everything you've ever known. In this life, mistakes are fatal, and you must be careful, lest you make one too many.

Chapter Synopsis: One year after the fall of Shiganshina, you live with the Rals. You tell Tullia about your past, and a legendary figure makes a visit to give Petra some exciting news.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Reader, Armin Arlert x Female Reader

Chapter Word Count: 5.0k

Content Warnings: swearing, canon-typical violence, sexual abuse (non-explicit), major character death, angst, original characters included

A/N: if you don’t like petra sorry because in m1ckeyb3rry land we love petra <3

Flowers for Mikasa, a blank journal for Armin, and your heart for Eren. It wasn’t much, but it would have to do. Tullia followed you patiently, holding Merry as you gathered your materials into a basket before setting out for the large pine tree on the hill behind the Rals’ house. Though it wasn’t the tree Eren had loved so much when you were children, it was as close as you could get.

Today marked a year since your friends and family had died at the hands of the titans. You had already paid your respects to your brother and parents with Petra’s support, and now Tullia was joining you as you went to apologize once more to your best friends.

In the past year, you and the blonde girl had become closer than you had anticipated. She was fun and bright, and she made you laugh again with her silly jokes and her biting sarcasm. You had been the one to ask her to come with you. You weren’t sure you could face the ghosts of your past without her soothing presence.

She smelled like lavender and the rain, and her voice was high and clear when she spoke, though she did not do so much. It was not out of any sense of shyness or anxiety; rather, Tullia did not see the point in filling silence with unnecessary noise. It was a quality you admired about her.

You had still not told any of the Rals who exactly Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were. You could tell they were curious, but they respected your privacy enough not to push. However, it had been a year. You resolved that today was the day you were finally going to speak of your childhood friends, if only to Tullia and Merry.

Laying the bouquet of purple campanula flowers at the base of the tree, you let out a deep, shuddering sigh.

“Mikasa,” you murmured, “Your favorite color was red, I think, because of that ratty old discount scarf that Eren gave you. But they say campanula flowers symbolize gratitude and, well, I’m grateful to you. You were my first girl friend. You let me braid your hair and you looked out for me whenever Oskar and the others wouldn’t leave me alone.”

You knelt on the ground in front of the flowers before turning to Tullia and motioning for her to sit with you. She did so cautiously, as if worried you were going to shatter just by her mere presence. Perhaps a year ago, you would have, but not now. Not anymore.

“She was like a mountain,” you informed Tullia, who listened with wide eyes, “Strong and quiet and steady and dependable. I once thought that I had had to save her, but in the end, she ended up being the one that usually saved me. A lot of people did that, actually. But she did it the second-most.”

“She sounds like a wonderful person,” Tullia said.

“She was. She was so wonderful, Tullia. She had long black hair and dark grey eyes, the kind that you would look into and feel like everything would be alright, because Mikasa was there and things didn’t go wrong when Mikasa was there,” you said, and though it was agonizing to think of the girl, you did not cry, not yet. You believed you had run out of tears a long time ago.

“I wish I could have met her,” Tullia said.

“I do, too. You two would’ve been friends, I think,” you said before pulling out the blank journal.

“Min-Min, my Min-Min. You were the smartest person in these walls. I remember how much you used to love writing and drawing, so I hope you can use this up wherever you are,” you said, placing it next to the flowers. You did not even look at Tullia when you started talking, because if you moved, you were afraid you would burst into tears. Maybe you hadn’t run out quite yet.

“Armin used to tell us about this thing called the sea. A giant body of water filled with salt. We all promised to go see it together, but now, they’ll never get the chance, so I’m gonna do it for them. Armin himself was quite like the sea, though, so I guess they got close enough. He was calm and peaceful and gentle. Whenever I was scared or tired, I knew he would be there to sit with me until I felt better.”

“He must have been a really great friend,” she said softly. A lump grew in your throat, and you stubbornly swallowed it down.

“Yeah, he was. He got bullied a lot, and we would always have to fight the people that bothered him off. One of them had a crush on me, actually. Oskar. He’s d-dead, too,” you said. Tullia made a sympathetic noise.

“Eren always got mad whenever Oskar would try to flirt with me. He said I deserved better than him, not that I ever really liked him to begin with. In Eren’s eyes, that didn’t matter. It was an offense for Oskar to even look at me,” you said, and a few tears slipped through, splashing onto the ground in front of you.

“Can you tell me about Eren?” Tullia said, gently placing a hand on your shoulder. Merry nosed his way under your hand, and you began idly stroking his head to distract yourself.

“Sure. He burned brighter than the sun. He was so passionate and determined; what he wanted, he went and got. We met when we were two years old. Actually, my earliest memory is of him saying my name, that’s how close we were. For all of his fire, he was actually quite easygoing. He played dolls with me and had tea parties and let me braid his hair, though it was far too short to really do anything much with,” you said, more tears making their way down your cheeks.

“He must have loved you a lot,” she said.

“He did. Oh, I don’t think anyone could ever love their friends as much as he loved Armin, Mikasa, and I. When we were nine years old, Mikasa was kidnapped, and I went to go save her. That’s how we met and became friends; well, after the fact, of course. Once I arrived at the cabin, I realized how in over my head I was. I almost suffered the same fate as she had, but then he was there. He killed two grown men for me — and Mikasa, too,” you added as an afterthought.

“He killed two grown men at the age of nine?” Tullia said in surprise.

“Yes, and I convinced Mikasa to kill the third,” you said offhandedly. You could sense the way she drew back, but you didn’t care. If you had to go back in time, you would do it all again. It was what those men deserved, after all, for what they had done to Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman as well as Mikasa herself.

“That’s...um, wow,” she said.

“I guess. It’s what we had to do, so it’s what we did. Dr. Jaeger was furious and scared, but Eren knew that it was either the kidnappers’ lives or Mikasa and I’s. He made a choice, and I believe it was the right one,” you said.

“When you look at it like that, then yeah, you’re right. I’m glad you were alright, at least,” she said after a moment. You shrugged.

“Suppose it was only delaying the inevitable, though, but agreed. Anyways, ever since that day, he only became more protective. He had always looked out for me, ever since we met, but after I almost died, he followed me everywhere. He was worse than Mikasa, even. To anybody else, it would be annoying, but I didn’t mind it, for the most part. He — he was my hero,” you said, “and that makes everything so much worse, because he died thinking I didn’t want him around anymore.”

“What do you mean, if you don’t mind me asking?” Tullia said.

“No, it’s fine. It feels kinda good to talk to someone about everything,” you said.

“I’m happy to listen for as long as you need it,” she promised, and you allowed a small smile to grace your face in gratitude before you remembered your final conversation with Eren.

“He wanted to join the Scouts, like Petra, only he wanted to do it to get revenge for humanity and see the outside world. I wanted to be a Scout, too, though not out of some grand ideal of needing to be humanity’s savior. I just wanted to be with him, to see him be happy and be there when he finally obtained his coveted freedom,” you started. She nodded encouragingly at you.

“He didn’t want me to go. He said he’d have to take care of me the entire time, and I was better off staying in the walls, where he thought I belonged, even though he hated people that accepted the walls as safe. I was so angry, I told him I didn’t want him to protect me anymore, ever again, and that was the end of it. Then Shiganshina fell, and he was either crushed by debris or eaten by a titan. I wonder if he thought of me,” you said, and against your will, you began to imagine Eren’s final moments alive. You let out a choked cry, and then it was as if the dam gates had broken.

You began to sob harder than you had thought it possible, your tears watering the soil as you heaved.

“Why did he have to go?” you gasped out. Tullia was silent, rubbing your back slowly as you ripped at the grass that grew where you sat in an attempt to make the world feel the same pain that was stabbing at your heart. How could he have left you all alone like this? The two of you were supposed to be best friends, but best friends didn’t scream and fight and yell at each other. Best friends didn’t leave each other.

No, Eren had never really been your best friend, had he? He was the sun and the sky all in one; he was the blazing blue of the summer solstice and the scorching gold of the desert sands. He set you on fire and held you, cried for you, saved you as you burned. It only made sense that he had died so young, for no being could ever be so bright and last. He was a strike of lightning, illuminating the world in a flash of hair-raising electricity and then vanishing forever, leaving nothing behind but the rumbling thunder of his sole mourner’s cries.

He had been everything to you, and now you were left to deal with the sorrow of his passing on your own. You had grown dependent on him, but he was gone now, and you needed to make your own light if you wanted to continue to see the world. Perhaps it would not be as brilliantly colored as it had once been, but it would be enough.

You wished you could tell him about all of these revelations. You knew he would be proud of you, because you had finally realized that you did not need him, had never needed him. You only wanted him. Oh, how you wanted him; he who had been ever constant in your changing world. Yet when you wanted him the most, you were cursed to never have him again. Such was the universe’s cruel humor, and you knew that whichever god was up there, playing with your lives like you and Eren once played with dolls, they were having a good laugh at this stroke of misfortune.

So, to spite them, you stood. You stood and faced Tullia; Tullia, who was here and now. Tullia, who had been there when nobody else had been. Tullia, who was alive and not dead, Tullia, who was kind and funny and cared about you, in some small way. She raised an eyebrow at you, and she did not comment on the way you determinedly wiped away your tears, nor on the way no new ones fell.

“Ready to go?” she said.

“Yeah. I’m ready,” you said, and you turned your back on the bouquet of flowers and the blank journal and the tear-watered earth and Mikasa and Armin and Eren and your childhood and Shiganshina. Merry bounded ahead of you, and a breeze blew your hair back from your face, exposing it to the world around you.

And so you laughed in delight. They were still with you, in the way the wind played with your hair and the flowers bloomed in all different shades, each of them your favorite, and the sun shone its rays on your face, lighting you up with warmth and gold.

Tullia did not question this development, perhaps understanding that you needed it, perhaps not understanding but trusting you anyways. She walked beside you, and when she gave you a devilish grin and asked you to race her back to the house, you eagerly accepted.

You both took off running, and she won, of course, but you were not upset. You fell in the grass and rolled down the hill, the world a blur of green and blue as the heavens and earth combined. For a moment, the hues mixed into a peculiarly unique shade of jade, and you knew he was saying I love you, I’m proud of you.

“You guys are covered in grass! Filthy beasts, Levi’s coming over to have dinner in two hours!” Petra shrieked when you and Tullia ran in, snickering.

“Oohhh, Levi’s coming! Did you hear that, Y/N? Levi’s coming!” Tullia sang.

“Levi with the burningly brilliant mercury eyes and the neat dark curtain of hair that falls perfectly in his face and the chiseled jaw and the sharp nose and the six-pack abs and the probably HUGE —”

“Y/N!” Petra cut you off, “Don’t you dare repeat any of that when he’s here!”

“Sure, Petra,” you agreed.

“You’re in a surprisingly good mood, actually. Did something happen?” she said, as if just noticing how you had seemingly woken up from a long dream. The curtains on your life had been drawn back, the window thrown open, and you were inhaling deep gasps of air like you would never breathe again.

“Just feeling like I finally let go of some things and was able to realize that it’s a beautiful day,” you said.

“Well, okay then, I guess. Good golly, though, you guys need to take showers or something, really. Get! Get! I will not have you embarrassing me in front of humanity’s strongest soldier!” she said, shooing you away in the direction of the bathroom. You and Tullia obliged, giggling as you ran upstairs.

You allowed Tullia to get ready while you gathered your clothes. You usually wore Tullia’s things. Luckily, both of you had similar sense of style, so you were able to continue wearing almost a carbon copy of your normal outfit, with a navy skirt, fitted white shirt, and a loose tan cardigan that Petra had apparently knitted some years ago. The only difference now was that you no longer tied your hair up. With the loss of your white ribbon, you no longer had the motivation to put it up in the childish ponytail of your youth.

Tullia usually dressed in a black turtleneck tucked into a light green skirt, a light grey cardigan, also knitted by Petra (apparently knitting was a great favorite hobby of the older girl), with her hair neatly plaited into two twin braids tossed over her shoulders, loose strands escaping in the front.

“You can shower now, Y/N,” Tullia said, exiting the bathroom wrapped in a towel. Grabbing your own towel, you ducked into the room she had just left. The water was already warm, thanks to her having showered before you, so it did not take you long to get cleaned and ready (to Petra’s great relief).

“Can you cook?” Petra said as you traipsed downstairs. You shook your head no, though Tullia nodded in affirmation.

“Yes, Pet, you know I can,” she said. Petra wrinkled her nose and flicked her younger sister on the forehead.

“Your cooking is gross, T. I was asking Y/N, but apparently she can’t. Okay, you two, set the table and then make sure the living room is clean. I have no clue what the Captain wants, but we can’t make a poor impression on him. He’s a notorious clean freak, so we have to be good about this,” she said.

“I’ll get the living room if you set the table?” you said. Tullia nodded.

“Deal,” she said, beginning to take out the silverware. You had never really understood the purposes and differences between the different forks and stuff, so you left that to your friend, grabbing a broom and sweeping. Back in Shiganshina, you had been just as likely to use your hands as you were to use a fork and knife, so the finer aspects of table manners were beyond you, try to teach you though Petra and Tullia did.

But cleaning was something you could do. Eren had idolized Captain Levi and, having heard that he was obsessed with being clean, often made you practice cleaning so that you were up to standard. You doubted that even the Captain was as strict as your friend had been, but either way, it meant you were well prepared for this moment.

You wondered what Eren would think of the fact that you were about to have dinner with the legendary Captain. He was a near-myth in most households: about fifteen years older than Petra (which led you to believe her feelings were not at all reciprocated and, indeed, somewhat more of a celebrity crush than anything else), he had joined the Scouts one day and boasted the highest titan kill count of all humanity. Titans were nothing compared to the man, and you were thrilled yet scared to finally put a face to the name.

Your first impression was that you had not been expecting him to be so short. He was really, really, really short. A little bit taller than Petra, but a couple of inches shorter than even you at eleven were. Still, he carried himself with the air of someone twice his size, and despite his small stature, you found yourself believing every single story you had heard about him.

He had a baleful gaze that made it seem as though he was permanently discontent with the world around him, and dark, bruise-like shadows painted the skin under his eyes. A frown was etched onto his face, which might have been handsome if he would smile more. You couldn’t really see what Petra swooned over, but to each their own, you supposed.

“Who cleaned the living room?” he said as you sat on the couches to have a drink before dinner. The Captain had requested tea, while you and Tullia would only have water. Petra was having her favorite, a carton of tomato juice that she sipped on through a straw.

“Oh, I did, sir,” you said, jumping to your feet.

“...good job. It’s not half bad, I guess,” he said with a nod at you. You were taken aback before nodding slowly and sitting back down, pride swirling in your heart. It seemed that all of the “cleaning training” with Eren had really paid off, for you had just been complimented by Captain Levi himself. Petra and Tullia seemed similarly in awe, staring at you with wide eyes. Petra shot you a discreet thumbs up, and you did the same back to her.

“So, Captain, what brings you here? Not that you need an excuse to be here! I mean, you can come whenever you want, my house is your house, plus you’re my superior officer so you don’t even need an invitation actually, anyways um I think I’m rambling, gee, I’m so sorry!” Petra said, stumbling over her words and promptly closing her mouth when Captain Levi turned his dull gaze to her. If you squinted hard enough, you could almost see a flicker of amusement flashing through his eyes.

“Just relax, Petra,” he said. His voice sounded bored, as if there were a thousand better things he could be doing with his time instead of drinking tea in the Rals’ living room.

“Right! Yes, sir, I will relax immediately!” she said, saluting and then decidedly not relaxing, sitting with her back ramrod straight.

“I’ve been looking for members for a new Special Operations Squad. You know Eld Jinn, Oluo Bozado, and Gunther Schultz?” he said, ignoring her obvious stress in favor of getting to the point.

“Yes, Oluo and I graduated together. He was the number two cadet in my division,” she said.

“If my information is correct, you were the number one,” Captain Levi said. This was news to you. You had always known Petra was strong, but she had never told you that she had been number one. Judging by the way Tullia’s lips had parted in shock, she hadn’t known either. Petra did not acknowledge your surprise, instead nodding at the Captain.

“That’s right, I was,” she said. No wonder she had been able to save you back in Shiganshina! She was seriously strong — stronger than everyone her age in the military.

“Good. I want you to join,” he said.

“Huh?” she said.

“The Special Operations Squad. I want you to be a part of it,” he clarified.

“Huh?” Petra repeated. You had a feeling she was in some sort of shock at the moment. After all, how often did one’s celebrity crush waltz into their home, call them strong, and ask them to join their super special squad? It was not a regular occurrence, which just went to show how truly exceptional Petra was.

“Are you going to do it or not? I can always ask someone else, but the truth is that I’ve heard quite a bit about you from your superiors, so I’d prefer to have you as part of my squad,” Captain Levi said in irritation. You leaned over and pinched Petra to break her out of her daze. It seemed to have worked, as she shook her head to clear it before enthusiastically nodding.

“Boy, would I ever! Yes, yes, yes! Wow, I can’t believe you picked me! Thank you, sir! I promise I won’t let you down! I pinky swear!” she said, saluting and offering the Captain her pinky. He looked down at it disdainfully before arching a brow at her. She turned bright red, but before she could retract her hand, he interlocked their pinkies and shook them.

“Okay. I’m holding you to that, Ral. You’ll get more detailed instructions later on, once the whole squad is together,” he said, untangling their pinkies and standing, “Now, I had best be off.”

“Oh, wait, we made dinner! You can’t leave without eating!” Petra cried out in dismay.

“It’s true. Petra made us get all of the fancy forks out and everything,” Tullia added.

“Yeah, I don’t even know what all of those forks are called, but we have them,” you said seriously.

“Hm,” Captain Levi said, politely pretending to not notice the glare Petra shot you and Tullia, “I suppose it would not hurt for me to stay for dinner. Very well, then. What did you make, exactly?”

“Mashed potatoes and vegetable soup!” Tullia said proudly, “Petra made the potatoes but mommy made the vegetable soup, so I would recommend you eat that because Petra is a terrible cook.”

“Tullia! I am not! Captain, I’m not a terrible cook,” she assured him.

“I see,” he said, though at this point, he looked genuinely bewildered as Petra and Tullia broke into an argument about which of them was a better cook.

“That’s just how they are,” you whispered to him.

“Is that so? And who might you be? I was only aware of Petra having one sister,” he said, turning to face you. Despite the fact that you were taller than him, it still felt like he was looking down at you. Besides, the difference in your height was not substantial enough for you to actually tower over him, and with the way he was humanity’s strongest soldier and twenty years your senior, he was an intimidating figure, tiny though he may be.

“I’m Y/N L/N. I’m not related to Petra, I’ve just been staying with her and her family for the past year. She saved me from the titans after the fall of Shiganshina. My parents and brother were eaten, though, so the Rals have let me live with them,” you said. Captain Levi’s face softened, and he reached up to pat you on the head.

“Poor kid. Well, at least the Rals took you in, but if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask me, okay? I think I kind of know how you feel, so...yeah. Whatever. Or don’t, it doesn’t matter to me,” he said, drawing away with a scoff.

“Oh, thanks, Captain,” you said.

“Uh-huh. Let’s go eat now, or the food will get cold.”

After dinner, where everything tasted perfectly decent, despite Tullia’s warnings, Captain Levi bid you all farewell before mounting his large black stallion and taking off, back to the Scout Headquarters, which was apparently where he had lived, seeing as that was the address he had given the family for if any of you ever had to contact him.

“CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?” Petra squealed as soon as he had vanished in the distance.

“I KNOW! YOUR COOKING ACTUALLY DIDN’T SUCK!” Tullia squealed back. Petra scowled and tackled her sister. They began to wrestle on the floor, once again arguing about who was better at cooking in between punches thrown at each other, although now, it was also interspersed with comments about how Tullia had embarrassed Petra in front of the Captain. Letting out a gentle laugh, you headed to the study, pulling out a sheet of paper and a pen, leaving the sisters to their brawl as you began to write.

Dear Captain Levi,

What is it like being a Scout? I think I want to join the Survey Corps. See, my friend from Shiganshina wanted to go to the outside world, but he died, so I’m going to do it for him. I don’t know if I’m cut out to be in the military, though, so I’m a little worried, but I have to try. You understand, right? I guess what I’m asking is if you have any advice. If anybody’s strong, it’s you, after all. Maybe one day, I’ll be your subordinate and in your super special squad. Well, I guess I had better not get ahead of myself.

From, Y/N L/N

Your response came a week later. You were only alerted to the fact because Petra came storming into the house, a ginger colored whirl of fury and excitement, depositing an envelope in front of you as you ate breakfast.

“Now would you like to tell me why Captain Levi himself is writing to you? You had best not be bothering that poor man, he’s far too busy to be dealing with the likes of you,” she said.

“Oh, he finally responded? Yay!” you said, ignoring the second half of her statement and ripping the envelope open in excitement. Petra gasped in offense at the way you had completely brushed her aside before peering over your shoulder to read what the Captain had written to you.

Dear Y/N L/N,

Being a Scout is awful. You can die at any moment. You probably will die. Your friends will die. Your comrades will die. Strangers will die. But if you survive, you will be strong, like me, like Petra, like every other Scout that continues to fight, even when things get hard. It takes a special sort of person to willingly put themselves into danger for humanity, time and time again, often with little to no reward. Your friend must have been a special person, then. Are you?

My advice to you is to avoid the Scouts completely, but, if you are dead set on joining them, as I expect you are, then I will tell you that no matter what, you must keep fighting. Strength, speed, intelligence, power: none of those matter when you are faced with a titan. They do not care if you were at the top of your class or if you barely passed. In the end, a meal is a meal, and they will kill you if you do not possess an incredible will to endure.

Endurance. The word has many meanings, but the one I refer to is “the capacity to last.” Do you have the “capacity to last” when the world has gone to shit around you? When you are surrounded by blood, both that of your enemies and of your friends, will you crumble and break, or will you rise to the occasion? Would you give up your very life if it was necessary? Would you give up your friends’ lives?

These are not questions I can answer for you. They do not even have correct answers, to tell you the truth. You must simply ask them and earnestly reflect on the answer. Only then can you know if you have what it takes to join the Scouts.

I hope that one day you are not my subordinate but rather my equal. Something tells me that you have what it takes. You endured the fall of Shiganshina. You endured the deaths of your family and friends. You endured Petra’s cooking (Petra, if you are reading this, I am only joking. Your cooking was perfectly lovely, and I would be delighted to partake in your mashed potatoes again). You will endure this, kid. It will take everything you have, and you might not even recognize yourself when you come out on the other side as the victor, but you will endure, and one day, you might just outdo us all.

Sincerely, Captain Levi Survey Corps, Special Operations Squad