#pezberry thought of the week

[angelhummel]

i must be in a Mood bc im throwing so many fucking horny pezberry polls into the queue ajsfklsdjfls so reminder to avert thine eyes if you do not wish to gaze upon any sinful polls (by blocking the "spicy" tag uwu)

[tuiyla]

One thing I noticed and found somewhat intriguing is that in both episodes where Pezberry are at the height of their mutual hatred in season 2 (2x09/2x12), Rachel calls Santana dumb twice ('like you even know what that means'/'the only job you're going to have...') and both comments trigger a big reaction in Santana. I haven't thought about it until my most recent rewatch and now it's all I can think of, so I'm interested to know your thoughts.

Alright let's finally dive into this.

Season 2 Pezberry hostility is so fascinating to me. It's not just that Santana was cruel to Rachel, it's that Rachel actively dissed her, too. I talked about the pole line in 2x12 a few weeks back, should be in the pezberry asks tag maybe? I think it's interesting how you jump to the conclusion that Rachel is calling Santana dumb here. And that's not a judgment against you at all Anon, I just find it interesting that that's the implication for you. I think that's understandable because there's for sure a degree of degradation. Rachel goes for the jugular even though she was personally unprovoked here; she just jumps on the train of ND snapping back at Santana. And there's so much to unpack that I didn't cover last time, and I certainly won't now. I guess I will say, in terms of Rachel's comment being demeaning towards Santana, that crucially it is to elevate Rachel above her.

There's a theme of a simultaneous martyr but also a superiority complex with Glee's underdog narrative. To see what I mean look no further than Loser Like Me, an anthem all about this wish fulfillment of the bullied actually being smarter and more successful than the bullies. "You'll work for me, you'll wash my car," etc etc. There's a recurring theme of the complexes I mention manifesting through professions and the underdogs making it as big successful stars and the mean bullies being stuck as Lima losers who peaked in high school. That's the driving force behind a lot of the rhetoric, at least. And so I see Rachel's comment as an extension of this, of her wanting to feel superior to Santana because no matter in what role, Rachel will be on Broadway. Whereas with Santana, she's invoking this problematic and sexist idea of the devaluing of sex work, weaponizing it against a character mostly known for her sexuality and how she uses it. It's a commentary on appearances and flipping the narrative for Rachel, I think. So Santana's this hot (ex-)cheerleader notorious for getting around whereas Rachel is insecure about her appearance and Santana has explicitly targeted those insecurities many times in the past. And that's a common "not like other girls" tactic of weaponizing misogyny and devaluing more conventionally attractive girls by tying their worth entirely to their sexuality. There's also something very American about this ~meritocracy~ idea of Rachel relying on her talent for work and dissing Santana by implying she'll only ever be worth as much as her looks. And of course the very American capitalist idea of your job being the end all be all.

Wow that paragraph was quite the word salad, huh. I'm happy to continue dissecting that particular scene and line and I'll elaborate on any and all ideas if you want me to, but for now I'll just summarize and say that I think it's much more complex than Rachel simply implying Santana is dumb. But I think it's telling of our society (again nothing against you personally Anon) that the immediate connection between negatively calling someone a future sex worker and calling them dumb is made. Proves how effective Rachel was in degrading Santana with this one comment.

And then! Or, rather, beforehand in 2x09. So this is another scene worthy of a bigger deep dive because, once again, Rachel is quite unprovoked. If you rewatch it, it all just sort of spirals from Finchel being little shits to the Glee Club rightly calling them out. All Santana does is chime in to what Tina was saying in calling Finn out in particular. And I would say this is a more accurate example of what you were saying, Rachel calling Santana dumb. Such an unnecessarily loaded comeback, really, which is why I'll maintain that Santana was at least somewhat justified in this scene. Damn, I don't wanna digress too much but send word if you think we should break this down bit by bit haha.

So anyway. Rachel basically attacks Santana and attacks her intelligence, and of course Santana bites back. And bites back through the goddawful hookup revelation, no less, once again a sexuality thing. Put into this context, it's even less wonder Rachel chose those words later in 2x12.

What it all means? Well, I posit that both instances are Rachel trying to find a point of attack against Santana. The first in 2x09 I would say is about demeaning her intelligence, yes, because it's again a common stereotype and "not like other girls" tactic to go, well, she might be hot and popular but she's an airhead. Which Santana isn't, and I think Rachel has always known that, but she's desperate to fight back. Backfires spectacularly, of course. But then she has another chance and she uses it more precisely, hitting Santana much deeper. Rachel's first comment was more just annoying and Santana took offence but she had a joker up her sleeve that devastated Rachel far more than her comment did Santana. The second time around, Rachel touches on an actual insecurity that combines many sensitive points for Santana. I think the main reasoning behind why she chose these particular insults is just building on misogynistic tropes because what's a girl to do but fight fire with fire. Oh man, if that ain't Pezberry.

I also think Rachel takes a long while to really value Santana as a person, with somewhat good reason may I add - you know, all the vicious bullying. But something that has long fascinated me is that Rachel affords Quinn the benefit of the doubt almost always and it's the polar opposite of how she approaches Santana, almost as if in her head Rachel chose one bully to forgive and she projected all the remaining resentment onto another. But I guess that's yet another topic.

Those are a lot of thoughts and not very well organized, plus I'm sorry they're quite late, but hopefully worth the wait?

[amazonworrier]

I don’t know why but I can’t shake the thought of Brittany being the one to talk to Rachel in the bathroom after Santana’s season 5 choir room rant instead of Mercedes. Glee never would’ve done it this way but hear me out, it could’ve added such a juicy layer to the Pezberry feud:

We see Rachel, crying in front of the sink. The door swings open to reveal Brittany, who falters in her step at the sight of her.

Brittany: Hey

Rachel: Hi

Brittany says nothing further, because she’s not here for Rachel at all. She just had to pee. The cubicle door slams shut and Rachel shakes her head in disbelief - she should’ve known.

By the time Brittany re-emerges, Rachel is fixing herself up in the mirror. Brittany ignores her, and washes her hands at the basin next door.

Rachel: Why does she always have to be so mean?

Brittany stills, then catches Rachel’s eye in the reflection. Her eyes are cold, and offer little sympathy.

Brittany: You know, Merriam-Webster defines always as meaning ‘at all times: invariably; at any rate, in any event.’

This surprises Rachel. It’d been so easy for her to keep seeing Brittany as the dumb blonde spouting nonsense from the back row in sophomore year, and not the now-MIT genius who admittedly always did have a weird knack for remembering useless information. How times have changed.

Rachel: Your point?

Brittany: What’s mean about two people secretly throwing away their shot at prom queen to cheer up a friend?

Rachel: Look, you’re obviously on Santana’s side-

Brittany: Well, yeah. I hate you. Everyone knows that.

Rachel: *gawks* I didn’t

Brittany: Really?

Rachel: No

Brittany: Huh.

Brittany’s had enough of this now. She dries her hands off and saunters toward the exit, but stops just shy of leaving.

Brittany: Santana tells me everything. Even though we’re not together anymore, she still tells me everything.

Rachel tenses. She finds the sudden intensity of Brittany’s stare unsettling.

Rachel: And by everything, you mean-

Brittany: Everything.

A beat of silence. Rachel’s mind is flooded instantly with memories of a friendship with Santana she’s been forcing herself to forget in recent weeks. Of pregnancy scares, and dead boyfriends, and graveyard diner shifts, and movie nights, and-

Brittany: Kind of interesting that she didn’t slap you back, don’t you think?

The voice startles Rachel; words cutting deep, and sending her reeling. She parts her lips to hit back with some sort of clever retort, only for Brittany to beat her to the punch.

Brittany: I would’ve.

[rachelberryy]

I really have no thoughts on Glee x Beatles other than the Pezberry - Klaine parallels with their duets

- Upbeat song at a moment of triumph (Rachel getting Fanny, Klaine getting back together)

- Blaine is always paralleled with Rachel anyway, same with Kurt and Santana

- The numbers end with the two pairs getting ~up close and personal~ with each other while standing higher up than anyone else in the scene

- Sets up these two duos as being the two with the most consistent amount of shared storyline for the season

In conclusion, everyone is gay and that is my only contribution to this week’s glee paintbox project.

[shadowdianne]

Fic writer review [Or a fic writer tag game if you prefer]

I was tagged by @naralanis and I can already see her grin all the way from where I am xd Thank you, dear, for the tag, let’s see what are my answers, shall we.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

*bursts out laughing* Adding both pseuds I have… 535 according to the account info but by counting them all I’m reaching 541 so I’m guessing it’s counting some drafts I need to re-find.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

I seriously hated you for this one xd I was going to do it by hand by I decided one-third there that I value my mental stability a little bit more xd according to the stats page back at a03 that number would be 1257884. It may be wrong. I think there should be a few more numbers up there but the majority of my works are one-shots so *shrugs* There’s also the fact that counting my ao3 things only is shaving off like half of it Xd Anyway, can we laugh at the fact that I’m a pain in the ass and that I’ve written a lot? More than I should have, that’s for sure

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Trick question because I haven’t crossposted everything I wrote back in ffnet and I actually erased some fics from my account back there so the numbers are a little blurry there.

When I had the entirety of my work posted both in ffnet and a03 I had written for: Twilight (Bella/Alice) Glee (Faberry and there were a couple Pezberry and I don’t fucking remember the pairing name for Santana and Quinn), Harry Potter (Hermione/Ginny, Hermione/Narcissa, Hermione/Bellatrix) OUAT (SwanQueen and several oneshots focusing on the mad hatter and the blue fairy solely back at ffnet that were written in Spanish and never translated), I actually had a veeeery old au prompt of Frozen (Elsanna in where I wrote them as non sibilings), Rizzoli and Isles (Rizzles), Dishonored 2 (Emily Kaldwin/Alexi Mayhew), Lara Croft and Wonder Woman, Supergirl (SuperCorp/Supercat) I had a 100 one -or maybe two??- (Clexa), The Shannara Chronicles (Amberle/Eretreia [Or Princess Rover], Rwby [Blake Belladona/Yang], The Worst Witch (Hecate Hardbroom and Pippa Pentangle), The Half of it, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Madam Satan/Zelda Spellman) and… I think that’s it(?) I may be forgetting some but probably nothing important if I’m not remembering it lol.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Ah, we are going to go there, uh? Xd My works are not the kudos and comment getting type Xd So I was quite surprised when I went to check this.

1: Cracked it I wrote this one back in 2017, it was a prompt done by an anon: Lena is nerding with one of her projects at home, mumbling mostly to herself because she’s stuck and Kara casually mentions how to solve the problem like it’s nothing. I really had some fun with this. It was back when some us, SQeeners were fully doing the jump between OUAT and SuperGirl (I mean, there had already been some crossover as for fandom is related but this when the girls were actually getting their conjoined voice within the fandom)

2: Dateless I honestly needed to check what this one was about but I think I can see why this one shot has the amount of kudos it has. It’s a short and sweet idea and responds to the Teachers Au that went SO well with SQ. Everyone thinks they hate each other and try to set them up with other people whilst they, in truth, are dating. I don’t remember if I wrote them as married rather than dating but despite being from 2017 as well is one cheeky enough to be cool Xd I probably would edit some lines now *shudders*

3: After you I truly didn’t expect this one to be top 3. Makes me think of a lot of things, if I’m being honest Xd. After you was a one shot written almost feverishly as an answer to the fabulous drawings that Sejic did of both Lara Croft and Wonder Woman back at 2018 or something. It’s just Lara and Diana being himbos but not at all with each other.

4: How about… How about is one I remember perfectly, it was my answer to the ending of the Half of it film. I had SOME thoughts about it, let’s just stop there Xd I really liked the film itself but I think and I thought at the time that my response to wishing for a final scene at the very end of the credits responds to me being in a different personal moment than the characters. I really wanted to explore my feelings about it and so I wrote about them finding each other again after some time passes. It was also something I wrote after quite the hiatus so I took it as something I could write about without focusing too much on the why.

5: Come to me

Ahh, SuperCorp Xd I remember this one actually. A friend of mine and I were talking about descriptions, and she mentioned quite off-handedly how she wanted a fic in where Kara’s back was described. I complied… more or less.

Fun tidbit, despite the big volume of my work is obviously set in ouat there’s only 1 SQ fic there as you can see, the others are either SuperCorp or the random one shots I created for Wonderwoman/Lara Croft and The half of it. *sighs in deep thought* I’m also not going to look too much into how almost all of the fics were posted and written back in 2017. Nope, not at all.

*Small voice screaming you peaked in 2017 and everything else is garbage jumps back and forth*

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I tend to always respond, yup. I truly value comments. I might have gone for spells of time in where I didn’t have the mental capacity to check in old fics because I truly didn’t know what to answer but I treasure every single comment and you all who comment know that I can start to ramble in the answers xd -sorry about that- I really really REALLY love interaction.

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending:

Ok, Nara, come on, this one is a catch for me. I’ve written angst in far too many fics to remember the angstiest one :P I have the most recent one, though, that is the easy one to think about: Goodbye.Written for @delirious-comfort. I’m just going to say “Kisses with their last dying breath” as an idea of what awaits inside but I’ve written about death and loss and angst quite a lot. There were some I wrote back to SQ with Regina needing to kill Emma during the Dark Swan arc that, to this day, I still love and some others in where Regina is the one that dies, again and again, trapped by magic while Emma watches. I have the loss in mental destruction form and… I REALLY like my angst y’know xd

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not counting Lara and Wonder Woman not really! I think it comes from the fact that I loooove worldbuilding as a whole and some pairings would require all my focus into making the world perfect which in turn would make me self conscious on the OOCness of it all.

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

*snorts* I’ve received hate due to the pairing I’ve written about, how I’ve written about it, the amount I’ve written, how slow or quick I can be, the usage of some tropes, the lack of usage of those same tropes… Let’s just go with: yuuuup.

9. Do you write smut?

I’ve written smut, yeah! But I can already see the pointed looks of some so let’s elaborate Xd I write smut when asked and sometimes when not asked but there’s a part of me I like to call a terrible tease that prefers writing the beginning of a scene, taunt it, focus on what happens before the sex scene per se as I find it more enjoyable to write. The process of escalation is always the best for me to see what can I do it by using both dialogue and descriptors tbh, so I tend to tease more than show.

9. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A few weeks ago I’d have said: Maybe(?) But trying to follow the trail of some other fics that had been stolen from some friends -I think it was me trying to find more about the page that stole something from your Nara!- I found some pages in where my fics had been reposted. In some it was stated that the person posting the fic wasn’t the author but I had never been contacted in order to see if I’d say yes to such a thing and in some others the page was locked up but I could still see someone was pretending to be the author. I did the thing and got some of those down.

Pointed note: Ask me if you want to post or translate or anything. I will look into you and answer you if you seem honest about the thing. But despite every joke and self-deprecating comment those 500 and then some fics represent MY time so very kindly I say fuck off to those who wish to steal from me and if I catch you… you don’t really want to see me angry, trust me.

10. Ever had a fic translated?

I’ve given permission to some, yeah, but never heard it back from them so I’m guessing it didn’t stick.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I’ve written series alongside other authors as @stregaomega for example. And some others that are unpublished -looking at you @carsonnieve - I’ve also done collabs… but fics co-written in the sense of two authors same chapters I don’t have anything posted I’m afraid :P

13. All-time favourite ship?

*snorts*, I guess the obvious answer is SQ uh? And I do think they were the ones that allowed me to read and write SO much. The one I feel more strongly about, however, is Bering and Wells from Warehouse 13.

14. WIP you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

All of them counts as a valid answer? But if I only could finish one that would be Arcadia. With A forgotten Promise second and the one I did as an Assassins Creed AU third. (I don’t remember the name so there’s no link, sorry xd)

15. Writing strengths?

Uhhhh, you REALLY want me to say that? I don’t fucking know!! To me everything I write is garbage. I always try to go for the feelings so I guess. Dunno xd I’ve been told I’m good at worldbuilding and to be honest is what I enjoy the most.

16. Writing weaknesses?

Everything Xd Pacing? What I hate the most sometimes is dialogue, I would count it as a weakness but I’m always far too focused on description rather than dialogue. I don’t think it’s a bad thing per se but it’s something that I don’t do as much.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I’m conflicted. Always. Majorly because I think that having bilingual characters in fanfiction is portrayed and expected in a way that I don’t feel it’s honest with how bilingual people -us- talk. So if I go by what I know I do I think it’s not what readers hope to see when it comes to that and if I go for how canonically is hoped to be found I don’t think it’s logical. But that’s me and my overthinking Xd If I have the option I like to do it.

18. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Belice! Or Bella/Alice. Worst first fic ever but oh, well, I’m always saying that :P

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

Uhh… Don’t make me do this XD Agh, I don’t know. I’ve always been very vocal about Metallic Ink because I let myself enjoy the process of creating a magic system almost out of zero and that was fun. Despite hating some of the writing process and that I’d do it differently now I think I’m going to stick with that answer. Or anything that had any steampunk-based undertone. To be honest I like more thinking of concepts, I had one in where Emma was a thief and it involved the robbery of a ring that was Regina’s one way ticket to freedom I then later repurposed that I adored thinking about so let’s go with…. Yeah, I love having the option of changing things up a little and focus on how characters would fit in different aesthetics for this one Xd

Annnd… these are four pages, gods. I’m just going to tag @waknatious @carsonnieve @stregaomega here and see what they do- Enjoy the questionnaire ladies :P

[spaceorphan18]

I read with interest your view and that of @hopefulobjectmiracle about tumblr Klaine fandom. Is there more shipping these days than 2010-15? I ask because there seems to be a smaller group that only ship Kurt with Blaine but there seems to be a huge rise in Kurtbastian and Hevans shippers. Likewise, there’s many more pezberry or faberry shippers. And a lot more of those shippers trying to discredit Blaine or Brittany as OTP for Kurt and Santana. There seems to be new younger people joining Tumblr declaring a love for all things Klaine, and then a week later shipping Kurt with everybody else!! Has there been a change since the show aired?

Hi Nonny! :)

Hmmm.... There's not really a clear answer to this because the way shipping evolved is different than people just finding things now.

There are kind of two different things going on here -- Kurt related shipping and non-Kurt (blaine/klaine) shipping. I can't tell you much about non related Kurt things -- however, I will say that Faberry was HUGE when the show was on. It's a subsection of the fandom I never interacted with but it was around in season 1, and loud enough that the show makes nod to it from season 2 forward. Brittana was always around, too, and the reason Brittana became a thing on the show was, partly, due to fans crying out that they should be a couple -- and more than the throwaway joke the writers made in the first season.

I don't know what happened to those ships over time, or how the evolved since the show ended -- I'm sorry :/

But now, I will tell you the epic history of Kurt shipping. (Again. i should really dig out my old notes on this, lol)

Here we go long post...

I found it! I'm going to quote myself so I don't have to write it out again, lol. This was originally from an ask about the BBO (Better Boyfriend Olympics), but it'll work here, too.

Okay, so let’s go back to 2010 when there wasn’t a Klaine fandom, there was a Kurt fandom.  A lot of the BBO stemmed out of the Kurt’s Boyfriend Shipping wars of 2010.

Back then, there was just a Kurt fandom, and a lot of opinions about who he should date.  Believe it or not, Kurt was shipped a lot with the other guys on the show, there was a healthy dose of Kurt/Finn, but Kurt/Puck was huge, and there was a smattering of Kurt/Mike (I never really did see much Kurt/Artie now that I think of it, which is kind of funny in retrospect, but I’m sure it’s out there.)  Anyway - when the show announced Kurt was getting a boyfriend – well, things began to get heated up.

Three big ships emerged

Kurt/Sam - because the rumor was that Sam was originally supposed to be Kurt’s bf (probably not, but that rumor was big at the time).  Btw, they were the canoe ship (I have no idea why) and was also known as Kum (rolls-eyes).  This ship’s fanbase was so huge and lasted so long, that the show felt the need to address it head on in Season Two’s Rumours (not a joke).

Kurt/Karofsky - Also known as Kurtofsky, they were also called themselves the Pirate ship (god, Idk why, shipping wars are weird, yo).  These people were also really passionate, mostly about Dave, but liked the whole idea that Kurt would save Dave and they would have this weird - enemies to loves love affair or something.  I don’t know, I could never get past the squicky assault aspect, but whatever.

Kurt/Blaine - which. at the time, was… the biggest possibility? It’s funny cause the other two ships were just as big as the Klaine ship, and really the fighting became over who was going to be the best option for Kurt.

And that’s the thing.  Fans of Kurt were so passionate about who was best for Kurt, because everyone had seen him go through hell and back on the show, so his boyfriend needed to be perfect for him.  And you know who was perfect (at first) – Blaine.  More on that in a second…

However, Blaine brought his own bit of baggage – namely fans of Darren Criss (and/or Starkid fans).  Unlike Chord Overstreet or Max Adler, people knew who Darren was before he was on Glee.  So his own fandom joined in on the Klaine of it all.  At first it was all fine – as the shipping wars continued, it was less about Kurt vs Blaine and more about Klaine vs the other shippers.  Well, that was going to change….

Original Song happened and Kurt and Blaine got together ending the question of who would ultimately be Kurt’s boyfriend.  And things were nice and cozy headed into season 3.  You’d think the Kurt/Sam and Kurt/Karofsky ships would die out, but not really, they stuck around for a long time, and kinda morphed into something else.

See, The First Time happened.  And for the first time Blaine wasn’t the perfect prince that he was in season 2 – he had more of a developed personality, and more flaws.  And… some people didn’t like it.  (Also added to the mix was Sebastian – and the Seblaine and Kurtbastian ships were born, but those kinda go off on their own thing and I’m not really going to bring them up much here.)  Anyway, what really got fandom split was Dance With Somebody.

You had two sides of an argument, people who saw Kurt’s POV and people who saw Blaine’s POV – and guess what happened.  The two sides began to fight with each other over who was “right” in the argument.  (My god…) And thus started what fandom started referring to as The Better Boyfriend Olympics.

See - for reasons I don’t fully understand - instead of seeing that each of the boys have a fault and each were wrong in the episode, each side wanted to say that their side, and their POV was the correct way – that one boyfriend was more oppressed and the other was not as good a partner.

On the Kurt side, though, you had a lot of the old Kurt fans and ships who didn’t like Blaine (and/or didn’t want Blaine as his partner) so they vehemently decided that unless Blaine was the perfect boyfriend again, he didn’t deserve to be with Kurt.  Meanwhile, you had the Blaine fans, many of them Darren fans who wanted Blaine to have more depth to him than just being Kurt’s boyfriend, and not being Kurt fans first (or originally) they were going to push back at the Kurt fans who were lashing out at Blaine.

Compounding this was the fact that during season 3, there were so many cast members and characters that unless you were Finchel, you were begging for scraps and your featured episode to come along.  Meanwhile - Kurt got a ton of screen time, but didn’t sing much, while Blaine sang a lot more, but didn’t get much story.  The Kurt fans resented that Blaine was always singing.  The Blaine fans were annoyed that the Kurt fans resented it, and tried to remind the Kurt fans that Blaine barely got any development.

Either way, a war had begun.  And then The Break Up happened.

Now Kurt fans had a specific reason to point at – Blaine being a terrible boyfriend.  He cheated.  He’s terrible.  The end.

The fandom was not firmly split into sides - you were either a Kurt fan - a lot of them who HATED Blaine - partly because he was getting more attention at the time, partly cause he did sing more, partly because they were made up of Kurt ships that didn’t work out, and partly cause they saw so much of themselves in Kurt that they projected onto him their own feelings, and loving Blaine was not a part of that projection.  Or you were a Blaine fan - who spent a lot of time defending Blaine to the point of exhaustion, and became so resentful of Kurt that they wished Blaine could be with anyone else because Kurt (fans) didn’t understand Blaine and should just stop trying.

Weren’t there any Klainers you ask? Ha, well…. Klainers, people actually liked Kurt AND Blaine were stereotyped into two categories.  Category A) the really really loud fanbase (usually on Twitter) that harassed the creators, RM, Chris, Darren, various crew about Klaine every second that they got – to the point that it started to feel embarrassing (that’s probably my own projection).   Category B) People who thought (think) that Chris and Darren were (are) in a secret relationship.  (Spoiler alert they aren’t, never have been, and never will be.)  The two of these categories overlapped A LOT, and many of the fans of one boy or the other just disassociated completely.

You could still be a fan of the Klaine relationship, but you had a preference to which boy you were actually a fan of – you couldn’t like both, or else you were a Klainer, and that was not cool.  (I spent a long time NOT identifying as anything, and trying to make sure everything I did and said was equal – a) cause I was new to fandom and b) cause I hated that either one or the other of these characters were villainized so frequently.)

Anyway - Season 4 continued.  Adam showed up, and Kurt fans got all excited, but the problem was that a lot of them saw him as the perfect boyfriend again – not a real character but a prop that could make Kurt look good and be everything for Kurt.  Look, I liked Adam, I did, but he was underdeveloped, and this weird idea that your boyfriend needs to be perfect in order to be a functioning relationship is just unrealistic.  I digress.  Meanwhile, we didn’t get a lot of Kurt POV, which didn’t help things, and meant even more projection over his character.

Meanwhile, the Blaine fans had formed their own community, which became viciously defensive of him.  I think the whole fandom was toxic during this time for a lot of reasons, and I really wanted to quit it.  Many people did – the show wasn’t being fun anymore.

Season 5 came along, the boys got back together, tempers simmered, but the whole idea of the Better Boyfriend Olympics came back every time a conflict happened.  Arguments about who was the better boyfriend ensued, gatekeeping as to why their pick was best and why your opinion sucked still ran through the fandom.  Not helping was the fact that Cory had died, and the creators, actors, and crew – as well as media – was tired of Glee.

The one nice thing, though was that a lot of the old crowd had moved on by then, and there was an influx of newer people coming in during season 5 (and season 6) – they weren’t here for the season 3 droughts and season 4 wars, and brought in a newer and fresher perspective.

But still - we had the end of season 5 and the summer of spoilers and season 6 to get through.  At this point, the Kurt and Blaine camps had moved to their parts of the internet and really not speaking much to each other if they could help it.  When an argument happened on the show, the same kind of Better Boyfriend Olympics came up again – one boyfriend was worse than the other, and unless they changed xyz they were not good enough for the other.  But at this point, it was incredibly tiring.  I know that I was just ready for the show to be done with.

I should say, as an aside, not helping things were the rise of some rather vocal BNF-ish fans, who dug their heels in about their own opinions.  The refusal to even acknowledge that one side or the other might be right, or have valid points was not helping anything.  A lot of people on both sides refused to even listen to the points on the other side – and instead of being frustrated at the show, the creators, or whatever, they took it against each other, which wasn’t fun to watch either.

Season 6 happened - Blainofsky happened, and that killed enthusiasm for the season on both sides, most people just kind of wanted it to be over.  And then the ending came quickly, and I think a lot of people who were just plain unhappy about everything left for good.

The Better Boyfriend Olympics, or this weird competition that always pitted the boys and their fandoms against each other in the name of one being better than the other, leveled off after this.  I won’t give myself /that/ much credit - but one reason I created @todaydreambelievers was to give fans of both Kurt and Blaine a safe place where we could enjoy and discuss both boys without the BBO rearing its head.  And you know what – it did mend a few hearts.

For the most part, it’s been pretty quiet since.  Fandom is quieter, but I think the people who have come into it after the show has ended are a lot less judgmental and argumentative.  (I suppose it helps if you know how the story is going to end.)  And the cool thing, for me, is finding a group of people who enjoy Kurt and Blaine equally (or respectfully) – and reclaiming the name Klainer as a good thing.

I’ll end by saying this – it’s been relatively peaceful, even with the influx of new people throughout the years, but I have been seeing shades of BBO pop up again.  Look, you don’t have to like Klaine to be a fan of one or the other of them.  But there are a lot of terrible things going on in the world, a lot of things to be angry and get indignant about.  How a fictional couple was written ten years ago is not one of them.  Be respectful of people, and know that maybe the side you understand better isn’t the only side worth listening to.  ;)

////////////////////

So, I suppose that's part 1 of this full picture. Onto Part 2.

Here's the thing -- I've stayed, mostly, in my little tumblr buble over the past five years -- blissfully unaware that I suppose things were going on around me. Except... they really weren't. Until the pandemic happened, and Glee went to Netflix internationally, and a whole bunch of young kids grew up and started watching the show.

By the time I ended TDB in 2019, there weren't many of us left. I knew there was our small, dedicated group of fans. The tinhatters (the group who thought Chris and Darren were in some kind of relationship. spoiler alert -- they're not). And I know the Kurtbastian fans have been kicking around for a while. But no one was around in huge numbers.

And then boom - pandemic, and I'm shocked (not in a bad way) that this show has already seen a resurgence. The weirdest part, for me, is the fact that not only is history repeating itself -- seriously, people are bringing up old conflicts that have been dead for ages, and old shipping wars I never thought I'd see again -- but I think this new group's relationship with the show is much different.

I think that Kurt is a character whom a lot of people can still identify with. And because he's on his own in the first season, it's still easy to project yourself onto him. And then shipping goes from there. Blaine went from being the exciting option, omg are they really gonna do Klaine?? to -- hey Klaine is the boring canon choice, we can choose who we want for Kurt.

Layer over that years of Blaine hate still circling the interwebs. The echo chamber that Twitter and Tiktok create. And the fact that neither Chris or Darren seem to have the army of fans they once did (well -- Darren does, but they don't really watch Glee anymore). And you get this varied landscape of shipping.

No, some days it doesn't feel that different from the BBO days. The fact that I still get asks about Blaine and TFT car scene or Tested makes me feel like I'm back in 2013. Other times I'm perplexed by resurgences -- such as Kurtbasitan and Kurt/Sam. (Please don't bring back Kurtofsky guys)

But there's a saying -- Same Shit, Different Day.

I think there is an entirely different group of people than the original people watching, and their reasoning for shipping whatever is much different. But they've certainly come to a lot of the same conclusions that brought about the shipping wars in the early days.

At the end of the day - I think Kurt will always been a fandom mattress. But ship what you like and be nice to everyone else. There's enough hate in the world -- no need to dump on people's escapism.

[purrpickle]

Random Pezberry Thought of the Day #379

One sentence prompt from @pauladeroma:  If you had just one wish, what would it be?

*

“If you had just one wish, what would it be?”

Rachel stared up at the stars, suddenly feeling like the question was so much bigger than it was meant to be. She had to bite her lip before she blurted out, “For us to stay friends forever,” already deathly afraid the girl lying in the grass next to her would disappear just as quickly as they’d become friends once she left for Cheerios Bootcamp next week. Because high school was scary and unknown and Santana was amazing and fearless and suddenly everyone would see her and know who she was - and as her fears welled back up, Rachel had to stop herself from shifting closer to her calm, warm side.

Finally, as the stars swam in her vision, Rachel forced a trembling smile and whispered, “You know; to be the youngest EGOT winner in history,” instead of the yearning, thick, “I love you; please don’t leave me behind,” that clawed and crowded in her throat and wanted to burst free.

[tthankstoyou]

Assign glee characters songs from Taylor's Red album if you want. It can be because you'd think they'd sound good or because it just fits

Ahhhh thank you so much for this ask!!!! I literally love this ask so much, answering it was a lot of fun💖💖💖

I didn’t give every glee character a song & I gave a few people/ships multiple songs. Also! I hope you don’t mind that I added a few non-canon ships <3

I put everything under the cut since it got hella long, it’s hard for me to shut up sometimes 😳

• State of Grace: I feel like this is a really good Finchel duet. Finn and Rachel loved each other so much and left a lasting impact on each other’s lives (especially Rachel). I can see them singing this after Rachel heals from from their s4 breakup (so Finn’s still alive). Hmmmm I’m thinking they sing this at the failed Wemma wedding when they reunite.

• Red: Ok get this, Pezberry duet after their s5 fight (but like a romantic relationship, not platonic). But like when they’re at the stage before they make up & they realize how much they miss each other. They switch the male pronouns for female ones tho.

• Treacherous: This doesn’t fit any storylines for her, but I think Santana would sound beautiful if she sang this song. I don’t know any singing terms, so stick with me here. I think that Santana should’ve sung more soft songs (you know, like ‘Songbird’) & I think ‘Treacherous’ would’ve utilized how soft her voice can sound, but also how powerful it can be. Like since the song goes from slow paced and builds up to something faster and more powerful (this prob makes no sense)

• I Knew You Were Trouble: Quinn sings this after she see’s that Puck was s/exting Santana at their sleepover! She was ready to raise a baby with this man even though she knew about his reputation. Quinn thinks that she should’ve known better, but it’s too late for that and now her heart has been ripped out of her chest.

• All Too Well: Kurt sings this after Blaine tells Kurt that he cheated. I think he should sing this in the breakup episode when he should be sleeping, but his thoughts are keeping him up. Like how he tells Finn that he barely slept. I think Kurt singing this would be kind of like why Taylor wrote it, he’s trying to understand where and why everything went wrong.

• 22: I would LOVE for Madison and Kitty to sing this during the party in Rachel’s basement in s6. I chose that pairing since they all had to sing duets in that episode and I would kill to hear those girls sing a song together. Also I can totally see everyone having a great time on the dance floor, kind of like how everyone was partying during ‘Somebody Loves You.’ I think this would be a good song to keep the energy up.

• I Almost Do: I want Marley to sing this so bad. Not for any particular reason, I just think it would go really well with her voice.

• We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: (Jarley endgame my beloved BUT) Marley sings this after her breakup with Jake. I think she’d sing this after she opens her locker and a whole bunch of flowers that Jake put in there fall out. She’s starting to get fed up with Jake begging for her to come back & she decides that the best way to get her feelings across is to sing this song to him in the middle of glee club.

• Stay Stay Stay: I don’t have a specific situation I want her to sing this in, but I think Tina would sound AMAZING on this song. Like it’s such a fun song & I can so see her singing it because it’s underrated just like her.

• The Last Time: Rachel sings this when she’s on her way back to Lima in the breakup episode to talk to Finn.

• Holy Ground: I feel like this would be SUCH a good song for Mercedes about her relationship with Sam. Like she’s being her pop star self and sees something that reminds her of Sam while on tour. She’s filled with nothing but good memories. She’ll always have love for him in her heart. AND omg the line “And I see your face now in every crowd” because Sam was her biggest fan and always will be.

• Sad Beautiful Tragic: This would be a good song for Blaine to sing after the s4 Klaine breakup. Like I think this would fit perfectly w/ how the song is about how distance tore them apart in the long run. The whole bridge fits their situation so well, especially the lines “Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting / Silence, the train runs off its tracks / Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?”

• The Lucky One: This song is deadass about Rachel. It would be wrong to assign it to anyone that isn’t her. Like she was a star who moved to L.A. to make her name even bigger. She quickly learned though that Hollywood life wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. She had to leave town to save face. Here are some lines that fit perfectly imo: “You had it figured out since you were in school” & “And they still tell the legend of how you disappeared / How you took the money and your dignity, and got the hell out”

• Everything Has Changed: I feel like this would be a super cute Hevans duet. I have no real explanation, I just want them to sing this soooo bad... maybe during duets week...

• Starlight: This would be such a fun group number at the end of an episode. I want the leads for this song to be Artie, Tina, and Unique. I think they'd make this number a lot of fun and I would love to hear the three of their voices in a song together.

• Begin Again: Quinn sings this song about the first girl she dates, mainly because there's nothing more gay than meeting someone in a cafe. The other man that she’s comparing the person she’s with to symbolizes all the men she’s dated. The line "I've been spending the last eight months / Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end” is about how Quinn isn’t the best at relationships. All she wants is to be loved, but she hurts everyone she’s with. But with this girl, it’s like none of that matters.

• The Moment I Knew: Kitty sings this about Artie when he forgets about her while she’s in New York. I don’t think it would fit any specific canon event, but I can imagine something similar to the song happening to them & Kitty just knowing that this was the end.

• Come Back...Be Here: Brittany sings this because of how she wants nothing more than Santana to be there with her. Like she said before they broke up that she feels like she’s suffocating with Santana & I think that this song would help Brittany convey how she feels.

• Girl At Home: I don’t know why, but I want Artie to sing this. I just think he’d have fun with it.

[owl-elementary]

Pezberry - "I'm pretty sure I love you more than you love me."

It started as a fight over the remote. It was a rainy Saturday afternoon - one of the few they’d had off in weeks. Beyond the weather being terrible, Santana and Rachel were way too tired to do anything. So they’d decided they were going to have a Netflix and chill day. And somewhere between Chopped and Criminal Minds, there was a kerfuffle.

“We are not watching Steven Universe for the 85th time, Santana!”

“Oh, because your obsession with Charmed is any better?”

And then it was war. Rachel attacked first, bopping Santana with a pillow; after which, Santana countered by tossing a few marshmallows at her girlfriend. This led to a five minute pillow-tickle fight, remote control lying forgotten amongst the pillows and blankets.

Santana settled down on top of Rachel, nuzzling her neck when both were too tired to continue the battle. “I love you, you nutcase.”

“I love you more.”

“Impossible. I’m pretty sure I love you more than you love me,” Santana retorted.

Rachel rolled her eyes and switched the TV back to Charmed.

*

It started with a question. It caught Santana completely by surprise, actually. She’d been agonizing over whether or not to propose to Rachel for months, and Rachel had beaten her to the punch. For Santana, it couldn’t have been better - even if it did feel a little out of the blue. Rachel had driven them to one of the big arcades, where a bunch of their college friends, plus Quinn and Kurt, had met them. They’d split up into teams for laser tag, with the objective of reaching the middle and stealing the other team’s flag first.

But when Santana got to the middle, Rachel was there - with the words “Will you marry me?” spray-painted on the black wall behind her.

Santana took about seven shots to the chest, since Rachel’s team was watching from strategic places, but she didn’t care.

“Yes!” she shouted, laughing.

Rachel slipped a fake glowing ring onto her finger. “You get the real one later, gorgeous. I love you.”

Santana’s jacket buzzed again as someone shot her. “I love you more.”

Rachel’s jacket buzzed as Santana’s team arrived on the scene. “I’m pretty sure I love you more than you love me.”

And, for once, Santana let her have it.

*

It started with a tabloid article. And normally neither of them paid much attention to those. There had been an article about Rachel actually being a 52 year old performance artist from Greece. There had been the fake sex tape where the assholes tried to pass it off as Santana with a few different women. The problem with that one was that they’d forgotten that Santana had a multitude of very distinctive tattoos. Her fans had a field day laughing at the video on Twitter.

Usually they didn’t pay attention. But Rachel couldn’t shake this one.

“You can’t be serious,” Santana whispered. “You can’t possibly think I did this.”

Rachel couldn’t look at her. She shrugged. “It’s not like you haven’t done this before -”

“Rachel! That was before we were even dating! There is literally nothing going on between me and Quinn,” Santana said, tossing the paper down. The picture on the front page was of the two of them leaving the Conrad Hotel in the morning. “We had breakfast, for god’s sake! She had a shitty day the day before, and we were messaging each other, and I joked about craving pancakes. She told me they have great pancakes for brunch, so I met her, and then we went shopping. You can check my Instagram if you don’t believe me.”

“I want to believe you,” Rachel said. “I just…”

“You just think I would actually cheat on you with Quinn.” Santana stood and grabbed her gym bag.

“Santana, you can’t just leave! We need to talk about this!”

“No…you want to keep interrogating me to feel better about your insecurities around Quinn,” Santana said. “And I know why you have them, and that I’m partially to blame, but I’ve spent years trying to make it up to you. And apparently it’s not enough.”

“I just want us to be happy together,” Rachel said. “It feels like we don’t even talk anymore and…I don’t know, I guess I just thought maybe that’s because you were -”

“Cheating with Quinn? No, it’s because you’re never home to talk. And when you’re gone, I have maybe five minutes per week with you on the phone before you’re rushing off to your next gig or interview or whatever. You haven’t even let me come with you these last few movies you’ve shot. But I am for damn sure not cheating on you. Not with Quinn, or anyone else.”

“I’m sorry,” Rachel said softly. “I love you.”

Santana shook her head. “I’m pretty sure I love you more than you love me.”

*

It started with an awards show. Santana had called Kendrick - Kurt’s boyfriend - over to watch with her. In past years, she knew they’d always host a party for Rachel’s awards. Her own parties were more low-key - authors don’t have award shows.

“Does she know?” Kendrick asked, putting a hand on Santana’s shoulder.

“I think she’s guessed,” Santana said. “She just doesn’t care.”

“S…come on…”

Santana said nothing as she watched her soon-to-be-ex-wife smile and accept her latest award. It hadn’t been the reason, but it was the last straw. And Santana didn’t even really blame Rachel. When she looked back on their relationship - falling together in college, the blitz proposal, years of them pulling away from each other - all of it led up to this. Led to Rachel not wanting Santana by her side anymore. And when Rachel had told her she wanted to move to LA…well, this was Santana’s final act of love in their marriage. She wouldn’t make Rachel be the bad guy - not ever. She’d filed the divorce papers, and she’d be gone when Rachel got back.

“Santana…you know I can’t let you stay by yourself, right?” Kendrick asked. “Kurt would kill me.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I’ve got my bags packed.” She stood and left the envelope on the kitchen counter. Inside were the papers, and a letter:

Rachel,

I’m doing this for us. I know there are still so many things you want to do in life, and that I don’t fit into the equation. So I’m letting you go - no hard feelings. I get it - I’m pretty sure I’ve always loved you more than you loved me.

-S

[acuppellarp]

Welcome to A Cup-pella, KT! We’re excited to have you and Santana Lopez in the game! Please go through the checklist to make sure you’re ready to go and send in your account within the next 24 hours.

OOC INFO

Name + pronouns: KT she/her Age: old af Timezone: EST Activity level: 7 Ships: Finntana, Pucktana, Brittana, Quinntana, Pezberry, Santana/Chem Anti-Ships: Santana/Forced

IC INFO

Full Name: Santana Roxalena Lopez Face Claim: N/A Age/Birthday: 25/Oct 13, 1991 Personality: confident, stubborn, judgmental, sensitive, blunt Hometown: Dover, DE Bio:

Santana Roxalena Lopez is the only daughter of Maribel, a half-Cuban/half-Mexican stay-at-home mother, and Tomas Lopez, a Dominican neonatal surgeon. Life for Santana has never really been particularly hard. Being an only child meant that she was rarely told no. Her family was wealthy, and she was doted on by her mother and absentee father. But that didn’t mean that everything was as happy as it appeared. She was nine the first time she’d caught her father with another woman. She and her mother had returned home early from a trip to her grandmother’s and they’re been a half-naked woman standing her her kitchen. The fighting and yelling that followed after was some of the worst she’d ever heard. She was sure that her mother was going to pack up and leave her father, but the next day, it was like nothing had happened. Her mother happily put dinner on the table and sent her father off to work with a kiss. There was a price, her mother told her, for falling in love. It wasn’t a matter of if a man would cheat on her, but when, and when you fell in love with someone, you just learned how to deal with it.

After that, Santana hated her father for hurting her mother. She vowed to never allow another person to make her feel like that. She would break up with any boy she thought might consider cheating on her. She didn’t need them. She barely even liked them beyond acquiring the social status she wanted. She felt angry most of her teen years, a general unhappiness unless she was on the stage or singing in the choir. Performing wasn’t something common in her family, and her father hated that she wasn’t following in his footsteps which was probably why she decided to forgo college altogether and move to New York after high school. She didn’t want that life. She wanted fame and to perform. It drove her, and it was like for those moments she could pretend to be anyone while allowing her to be herself. She was a chameleon, and she was just too big for Dover, DE. Aside from having a vice president that came from there, who even knew where it was?

She’d been in New York for all of three months before she learned just exactly why she’d never had any interest in the boys she was dating. She met her first girlfriend Vi, and they were together for the three years that followed. Vi was the first person that truly supported Santana’s dreams. She was always there with an encouraging word, pushing Santana to audition and celebrating her successes. It was the first time Santana could say she was ever truly in love, but Vi loved her way more. And that made her feel so much pressure. It was a friend that let it slip that Vi was going to propose to her. So Santana started to distance herself and within two weeks, she’d packed her things and broke up with the girl. She found an ad of someone looking for a roommate, and that was when she met Michelle Chang, whom Santana loved right away because she was unlike anyone Santana had ever known and ended up being just who she needed as a friend. Aria came along and completed their trio, and Santana would never say it, but she’s got a weird crush on her since they met.

In the last four years, Santana has found a little family as she’s paid her dues as a performer, taking on roles in commercials, telenovelas, soap operas, really anything she can, and in the meantime, in an attempt to increase her online presence, she’s become a “Youtuber” and found a bit of success with her make up tutorials, clothing hauls, and “travel” reviews. It doesn’t pay as much as a real acting gig, but it keeps her from having to find a 9-5, and she’s pretty grateful for that. Then there’s Pamela Landsbury, which she thought was going to be really lame, but might actually be the most fun thing she’s ever been a part of in her life. On the days when she feels like giving in and giving up, the band makes her feel like one day, she’s going to be a household name, which makes fighting with Rachel and Kate on a near constant basis worth it. She loves them. They’re her people, them and the rest of the band. She just would never tell either of them that ever.

Pets: Pets are way more of a commitment than Santana wants right now.

EXTRA INFO

Twitter name/twitter URL/description:  iputthesinsexy The name says it all. I’m a performer of all trades living in NYC. My life is pretty much better than yours, and I’m not even a little bit sorry about that.

Five latest tweets:

@iputthesinsexy: I just posted a new vid about this bitch that cut in front of me at Starbucks. She almost caught these hands. #cashmeoutside @iputthesinsexy: I’m not saying I’m in love with Alex Vause, but I’m in love with Alex Vause. @iputthesinsexy: Is there anything worse than when a mariachi band starts playing on your subway car and you can’t escape? Nope #seventhcircleofhell @iputthesinsexy: Are phone sex operators still a thing? Asking for a friend. #sidehustles @iputthesinsexy: Maritza looks like a Hispanic Rachel Berry, but hot, and I’m not okay with that

[angelhummel]

*throwing this at my followers and running away*

I Found Myself A Cheerleader

another pezberry fic by me :)

Rating: E

Word count: 8220

Summary: Santana catches Rachel in a compromising position.

Canon divergence, assuming Santana moved to NY and enrolled in classes at NYADA much sooner. Set around mid s4

(Kurt and Tina are mentioned by name but not shown. Brittany, Finn, Brody, Puck, Jesse, and Cassie are referenced but not by name)

read on ao3

~~~

Santana strode down the hallway to her apartment, slowly rolling her head, then her shoulders as she walked. These dance classes were kicking her ass worse than she’d imagined. It was just because she was out of practice, she told herself. A few more weeks and she’d be back to her old self. Things would get easier. Then she could start dancing circles around everyone else in class and make them even more jealous of her than they surely already were.

The thought made her smile as she reached her door. Both roomies were out at the moment and wouldn’t be home til later. She was trying to decide how to spend her few short peaceful hours as she fumbled through her dance bag for her keys.

Maybe do some cool down yoga to help her unwind. Take a nice hot bath afterwards. Hell, maybe even rub one out while thinking about her new dance instructor with the perfect hot older bitch attitude and the abs to die for.

Santana finally made contact with her keys, pulling them out and unlocking the door, letting herself inside. She turned to slide the door shut, freezing on the spot when she heard a noise from further inside the apartment.

“Hello?” she called out tentatively, quickly adjusting her keys so they were sticking out between her fingers, her hand clenched in a tight fist around them. Just in case. She forced herself to step forward, inching closer towards the curtains that made up their three bedrooms. “Kurt? Rach? Who’s there?” She cringed at herself for immediately turning into the dumb first kill girl in every horror movie ever.

She was overreacting, she thought. It was probably just some mutated subway rat the size of her arm that wandered its way in and decided to make a nest out of Berry’s homeschooled chic sweaters.

Actually, she wasn’t sure if that was the best or worst case scenario.

The curtain to Rachel’s room fluttered, and Santana steeled herself to face down whatever was in there. She crept over to it, reaching for the edge to yank it back.

“Hey, it’s just - ME!” Rachel shrieked the last part as the curtain flew open and all she could register was Santana’s fist at eye level before she flinched away and clenched her eyes shut.

“Jesus fuck, Berry, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” Santana groaned, dropping her bag to the ground and tossing her keys on top of it. “Why the fuck didn’t you answer me? I could’ve seriously mangled your face.”

“I - I was about to, I just…” Rachel trailed off, gesturing vaguely to her room behind her. “I, um, was busy with something… Didn’t want you barging in.”

“Right, yeah, glad we avoided that,” Santana shot back, rolling her eyes. “What are you even doing home?”

“My last class was canceled. What about you? I thought you were still taking those extra evening lessons?”

“No, all my instructors thought I was spreading my awesomeness too thin so I’m just taking the regular courses now,” she replied. She looked back at Rachel, actually taking in her appearance now that her little adrenaline rush had passed and her heart rate was returning to normal.

Rachel’s hair was pulled back into a messy bun - heavy emphasis on the mess. Her cheeks were noticeably flushed, she was avoiding eye contact with Santana. And she seemed to be clutching onto the edge of her robe for dear life, keeping it shut tight all the way up to her neck.

A lightbulb went off in Santana’s head.

“What?” Rachel asked, her voice small as she chanced a glance up to Santana’s face. Just to see a knowing smirk quirking at the corner of her lips.

“Oh, nothing…” Santana shrugged. “I just get it, okay? Empty apartment, you thought it would be the perfect time for a little self care. No shame in it.”

“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” Rachel replied with a puzzled frown.

“Jesus, fine, you need me to spell it out for you?” Santana asked, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared at Rachel. “Self care? Masturbation? Nothing to be ashamed of, seriously. A little self exploration is totally healthy. Especially for someone as sexually repressed as you.”

Rachel’s cheeks got redder and redder the more Santana spoke. “Okay, you’ve made it clear that you have completely misread this situation!”

“Really? Your hair is a mess, your face is red, you’ve got that robe wrapped around you so tight it’s probably cutting off your circulation… And there’s no guy in sight,” she added, craning her neck to get a better look into Rachel’s room like she had to be sure. “So unless you’ve got Invisi-Billy in your bed, it looks like you did this to yourself.”

“I -” Rachel shut her mouth as quickly as she’d opened it, biting her lip as she fidgeted on the spot. Santana arched an eyebrow, wondering if she was going to say anything else. “Fine, you know what? You’re right. You caught me,” Rachel finally conceded. “I thought I would have the apartment to myself for an hour or so, so I thought I’d engage in a little self pleasure. Are you happy?”

“No, not really.”

“Well that makes two of us!” Rachel snapped. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, you can go take your shower, or whatever it is you do after class, and I will get dressed, and we will pretend like none of this ever happened.”

“Heard that one before,” Santana muttered, letting out a noise of surprise as Rachel actually tried shoving her out of her room. “Jeez, Berry, it’s not worth manhandling me over. Seriously, it’s not that big a d-” Santana cut herself off, her gaze dropping down to where Rachel’s robe fell open. Not like she was trying to get a peek or anything. And even if she had been, she would’ve been out of luck. Because instead of bare skin, Santana caught a glimpse of an all too familiar red, black, and white fabric.

Her eyes went wide, and Rachel blushed impossibly darker as she scrambled to fully cover herself back up.

“Berry, please tell me that’s not what I think it is,” Santana said, reaching out to grab the collar of Rachel’s robe. Yanking it open to reveal the bright red WMHS logo across her chest. “What in the Invasion of the Body Snatchers is going on here?!” She took a step back, staring at Rachel in disbelief.

“Okay, listen, it’s not whatever jealousy or psychosexual reasoning I’m sure you think it is, okay?” she asked. She kept her head down, her gaze fixed firmly on the floor as she spoke. Far too embarrassed to even try and meet Santana’s eyes again.

“Well..?”

Rachel took a deep breath before continuing. “Tina sent me a picture earlier. Apparently she just joined the Cheerios,” she told Santana. “And I realized that meant I was the only glee girl that was never on the squad. And I remember you mentioning you brought your uniform with you, to have a reminder of your past life at McKinley. So I thought I’d try it on for a second and see how I would’ve looked, were I ever a member of the team. I was planning on putting it back before you ever even realized it was gone. It was just a little harmless dress up, that’s all.”

“Dress up? I mean if that’s your kink, fine, but you at least could’ve asked me first.”

“Santana!” Rachel whined, her head snapping up to look at her friend with wide, desperate eyes. “Is there any possible way we can move forward from this point without you making fun of me?”

“Hey, come on, who’s making fun of you? It’s just a little good natured ribbing. Friends do that, right?”

“Well it doesn’t feel good natured,” Rachel pouted. “I think I might actually die of embarrassment right now...”

“Oh, come on, me thinking you were finger blasting yourself in an empty apartment was way more embarrassing.” Rachel’s cheeks lit up again, and Santana just laughed when she turned on the spot to go back into her room. “Okay, okay, I won’t talk about that either! But seriously, it’s not that embarrassing. Either of those things. But especially not wanting to try on the uniform. I mean, the Cheerios were pretty much the only group you weren’t a part of in high school, right?”

Rachel stood in her room with her back to Santana, one hand on the curtain like she was ready to close it, but not moving to do so just yet. She nodded.

“Right, so, no big deal that you wanted to see what you’d look like on the squad,” Santana continued. “Seriously, Rach, it’s not a big deal, okay? This isn’t actually high school. I’m not gonna run off and tell all the cool kids what happened so we can laugh about it in a glee club meeting later. I mean, I guess I could go tell Humdrum Hummel, but he’d probably end up giving me a long speech about how I shouldn’t make you feel ashamed of your body or whatever the fuck.”

“That’s probably true…” Rachel replied, a barely there smile on her lips. She let go of the curtain, hesitating a moment before turning back around to face Santana. “Would you, um… Oh, it still feels so embarrassing. Wouldyoutakeapictureofme?” she asked in a rush, anxiously biting her lip again.

“Oh, uh, sure,” Santana replied, surprised at the request. She’d still been expecting Rachel to shoo her out so she could get changed. She didn’t even think she’d get to see the full getup on Rachel. Not that she was dying to or anything. No, obviously nothing like that. But she’d be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t at least a little curious to see how Rachel looked in her old uniform.

Rachel smiled when Santana agreed, pulling her into her bedroom and closing the curtain behind them. “We’ll take the pictures in front of the curtain - it makes a good neutral backdrop. Let’s see… Lighting, we need lighting,” Rachel muttered to herself, going around her room to set everything up.

Santana should’ve known that all Rachel’s embarrassment would melt away when it came to being photographed. But she let the other woman do her thing, until Rachel was handing Santana her phone, already in camera mode.

Rachel took her bun down, her hair cascading down over her shoulders as she walked back around in front of Santana. Santana’s gaze shifted to Rachel’s hands to watch her undo the tie on her robe, shedding it to reveal the full look.

Santana’s throat went dry. The uniform was custom made to fit her exact measurements, which made it the tiniest bit tight on Rachel. But that wasn’t something Santana was going to complain about. She glanced down, realizing Rachel had also put on sneakers to complete the ensemble.

Santana let herself indulge a little, her eyes slowly making their way up Rachel’s toned, tanned legs. It was always a mystery to Santana, how someone so short could have legs that seemed to go on for so long. Those schoolgirl skirts and flouncy little dresses Rachel always wore to school were bad enough. But the Cheerio skirt on her was positively lethal. Santana barely even glanced at the hints of skin peeking through the fabric slats of the skirt before she noticed Rachel’s hands clasped in front of her body, fidgeting together.

“So… What do you think?” she asked. Santana snapped herself out of her daze to realize Rachel was waiting for a verbal response. Seemingly nervous and… shy? That was a new one.

“You -” Santana started, her voice coming out breathier than she expected. She cleared her throat and tried again. “You look good.”

“Really?” Rachel asked, instantly relaxing at the compliment. “Thank you… I was worried I’d look silly. You really don’t think I look silly?”

“God, no, Rach. You look seriously hot right now.”

The blush from before came creeping back into Rachel’s cheeks as she smiled at Santana’s praise.

“Okay, okay, picture time!” Rachel clapped. She backed up to the curtain, facing Santana with her hands on her hips and a bright grin on her face.

Santana smiled to herself, snapping a couple of pictures of Rachel like that. “Very cute,” she commented. “But you have to give me a real cheerleader pose.” She watched as Rachel gave it some thought, then switched poses. Drawing a knee up and balancing on one foot, raising her arms up over her head in a big V. “Ooh, much better. Shake them pompoms, girl,” she teased.

“But we don’t have any - oh.” Rachel giggled, but held her position as Santana took more pictures. “You’re so bad…”

“You love me for it,” Santana said. She lowered the phone, so Rachel dropped her pose. “So, uh, who are the pictures for?” she asked curiously, feeling like she needed a distraction to keep herself from leering at Rachel any more than she already was. Talking about either of the two guys Rachel was somehow still juggling seemed like a good way to bring her down.

“No one,” Rachel replied quickly. “I mean, it isn’t like that. I just wanted them for my own benefit. And I suppose I’ll send one to Tina, since she inadvertently started this. Of course I’ll have to show Kurt - he’ll get a kick out of it.”

“You can send them to me,” Santana said with a slight shrug, hoping that would somehow make it seem like a casual and not at all weird thing to suggest.

“Really? You’d want me to send them to you?” Rachel asked. Her expression shifted from confusion to mischievous as a smirk slowly spread across her face. “Why? Something for your spank bank?” she asked, trying her hand at teasing Santana like Santana had just been doing to her.

Santana didn’t respond, feeling a lump forming in her throat with the way Rachel was staring at her right now.

“Oh my gosh, I was kidding!”

“Shut it, Berry,” was the only comeback Santana could muster.

“Santana, I had no idea you felt this way about me,” Rachel teased, twirling back and forth on the spot and making her borrowed skirt flare out with each move. “It’s nice to know you think I’m so attractive.”

“Berry, if you keep talking, I’m going to throw your phone out the window.”

“Aw, come on, San. What did you just tell me? Something about how this is all totally normal and it’s good to have a healthy sexual appetite -”

“Okay, I warned you.” Santana marched to the other side of the room, Rachel’s phone clutched tight in hand, heading over to the closest window.

“No!” Rachel exclaimed, chasing after Santana and snatching her phone back. “Those windows don’t even open, you know?”

“No, but I bet they break,” Santana replied flatly.

“God, Santana, is that really still how it is with you? You can dish it out but you still can’t take it?” Rachel asked, crossing her arms over her chest and arching an eyebrow at the other woman.

Santana didn’t answer at first, just looked Rachel up and down again to take in her full appearance. She let out a short laugh, shaking her head.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing… You’re just really embodying the whole cheer captain HBIC thing right now. It’s impressive, really.”

“Well I am an actress. It’s what I do,” Rachel replied, distracted from tormenting Santana now that she was being complimented again.

“True… But you’re missing something.”

“What?”

Santana turned to Rachel’s vanity, grabbing a brush and hair tie and waving them in front of her face. “The high pony, duh. You went to all this trouble to try the uniform on, you might as well rock the whole look. Otherwise it won’t be as authentic or whatever.”

She sat back on Rachel’s bed, making herself comfortable against the pillows at the headboard and gesturing for Rachel to come sit in front of her.

“I suppose you make a good point,” Rachel said, joining her on the bed. She settled in between Santana’s legs, her back facing Santana’s front.

Santana took her time in gently brushing through Rachel’s hair and gathering it all up at the crown of her head. Thankful for the fact that Rachel’s back was to her at the moment. She just needed to calm herself down. Stop her mind from racing to dangerous places.

Really, she didn’t know what came over her all of a sudden. Santana was in college. In New York. Santana was a grown adult now.

So why was she feeling butterflies like this was some stupid high school crush?

It was just the uniform, Santana told herself. Obviously it dredged up feelings for her ex and memories of everything they got up to in high school. But even as Santana tried her damnedest to redirect her feelings to a more appropriate place, all she could think about was Rachel. All the times she subtly (or so she thought) checked her out during glee practice, or a group trip to Breadstix or the Lima Bean. She thought about when Rachel showed up to class in her Britney costume, and how it seemed to jumpstart Santana’s whole sexual identity crisis. Even before that, in sophomore year Santana would often find herself staring at Rachel’s legs in those ridiculously short skirts during dance rehearsals before she was even totally aware of what she was doing.

Okay, the little trip down memory lane certainly wasn’t helping. Suddenly all Santana wanted was to get away from Rachel and really calm down. Whatever was going on with her right now, she didn’t need to add it onto the already strained and beyond complicated relationship she had with Rachel.

She wrapped the elastic around the ponytail and tightened it - possibly a little too hard, given the way Rachel hummed in response - and sat back against the headboard. The most distance between them that Santana could manage right now, given the fact that Rachel was practically sitting in her lap.

Rachel turned halfway around to look at Santana, and Santana was sure by the look on her face that she didn’t have the same tumultuous thoughts swirling around in her own head.

Of course she didn’t.

“So… How do I look now?” Rachel asked with a hopeful smile.

“Awesome…” Santana whispered. And then, without thinking, reached up with one slightly trembling hand to try and sweep Rachel’s bangs to the side. “You should wear your hair like this more often… You always have so much hair in your face, like, all the time. Someone could start to think you’re hiding behind it.”

“Maybe I am…” Rachel murmured. “I always thought that pulling my hair back would only serve to highlight my… beak.”

Santana’s hand dropped back down to her side, as her stomach started to twist itself into knots. Of course while she was inappropriately thirsting over Rachel, Rachel was just going through every insult Santana had ever hurled at her in high school.

Because when were they ever on the same page?

“Well that’s rude. And it’s just not true… Who said that?” Santana asked quietly.

“Oh, just some mean girl I knew back in high school…”

“Yeah, well… she’s not here anymore,” Santana whispered. She took a deep breath, forcing herself not to break eye contact with Rachel as she spoke. “Look, Berry, if you tell anyone I said this, then I’m throwing you out the window instead. But you’re hot, okay? Like seriously hot. You’d have to be blind not to see that.”

Rachel blushed - they’d both been doing plenty of that this afternoon, Santana thought - and smiled at the praise.

“Thank you…” she replied softly, her gaze downcast as she played with a loose thread on the comforter. “I was being flippant earlier, but it really does mean a lot that you see me that way now…”

“Not just now…”

Rachel froze, looking up to meet Santana’s eyes again. “Santana…”

Santana shook her head slightly, needing to snap herself out of this little bubble she’d created for herself and come back to reality. “You, um - We can take some more pictures now that your hair is -”

Rachel lunged forward, cutting Santana off with a kiss. Eager but not forceful, almost like she was expecting Santana to push her away.

Santana didn’t push. But she was too stunned to react. Before she really processed what was happening, Rachel broke the kiss herself.

“Oh my gosh…” Rachel whispered, her hand coming up to gently touch over her own lips. Looking as stunned as Santana felt, like she couldn’t believe what she’d just done. “I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me… That was very impulsive and I know I should’ve asked for permission first or - or given you a warning but I -”

Santana interrupted her with a kiss of her own. Gentler this time, just a way to wordlessly tell her it was okay, that she didn’t have to work herself into a lather over this.

Trying to convince herself of the same thing.

Rachel looked much more calm when they broke apart this time. She turned around completely, sitting on her knees and facing Santana fully.

“Well… this is certainly new for us.”

“No shit,” Santana replied. Doing her best to hide just how affected she was by the kisses.

Rachel wasn’t thrown by her attitude.

“New is good,” Rachel continued softly, looking into Santana’s eyes. “I mean, if someone told me three years ago that not only would you and I be living together, we’d be genuine friends on top of that, I would’ve thought they were lying. But our relationship has progressed leaps and bounds over the years and, well, here we are now… Who knows? Maybe this was the obvious next step for us?”

Santana just stared at Rachel, her brain still struggling to process their kisses, never mind whatever monologue Rachel was busting out to try and justify what they’d done. All she could do was nod her head once she realized Rachel’s speech sort of required a response.

“Obvious” was the furthest thing from her mind right now.

“We don’t have to have it all figured out right now…” Rachel said softly. “I know it’s a lot, and you don’t seem to want to discuss it at the moment, which is completely fine by me… I don’t know what this means for us. All I know is that I really want to kiss you again…”

“Rach?”

“Yes?”

“Do you ever shut up?”

Rachel opened her mouth to answer, but Santana didn’t give her the chance. She pulled Rachel close again, taking whatever response she was formulating and turning it into a soft, muffled moan as their lips met once more.

No longer hesitant, no longer worried about being rejected, they let themselves indulge. Giving in to their desires, and letting the spark between them ignite into a full blown flame.

Santana’s arms wound tight around Rachel, and Rachel pressed closer against the other woman. Shifting so her legs were bracketing Santana’s, and she was sitting in her lap.

When Santana pulled away this time, it was to start trailing kisses along Rachel’s jawline instead. Her hand crept up Rachel’s back, up to the ponytail she’d styled just minutes earlier, getting a firm grip and using it to tilt Rachel’s head back, exposing her neck and giving Santana plenty of new territory to explore.

And explore she did.

Spurred on by Rachel’s soft little hums of pleasure, Santana let her lips wander over every exposed inch of Rachel’s skin she could reach. Paying special attention to each and every noise falling from Rachel’s lips, every shift of her body, making sure she knew what kind of reaction she got from every spot she kissed.

A kiss just below Rachel’s ear earned a sharp gasp in response.

Santana’s lips brushing over the curve between her neck and shoulder pulled a soft whine from Rachel.

An open mouthed kiss to Rachel’s pulse point - Rachel’s body jolted in Santana’s arms, a low moan escaping her lips.

“There we go…” Santana purred, a self-satisfied smirk on her face as she went back in for more. Kissing over the same spot, as Rachel’s grip tightened on Santana’s shoulders. Darting her tongue out to lick over it, making Rachel squirm in her lap. Sinking her teeth in and starting to suck at her skin, causing Rachel to cry out in pleasure.

“Santana…” Rachel breathed, her eyes clenched shut as Santana teased the oh so sensitive spot on her neck.

Santana just hummed in response, not wanting to let up until she knew she’d left her mark. She looped Rachel’s ponytail around her hand, getting a better grip and yanking her head back further, earning another moan from Rachel.

“Santana, please…”

That got Santana to stop. She kissed over the faint purple hickey she’d managed to leave, before looking up at Rachel through her lashes.

“Please what?”

Santana’s grip loosened on Rachel’s hair, so Rachel had enough room to tilt her head forward again. She just stared at Santana with heavy lidded eyes, her lips still parted but no more words coming out.

“Oh, now you’re speechless?” Santana asked, a teasing lilt to her voice. It was slight, but apparently enough to make Rachel blush. “Suddenly you’re shy about making demands?”

“Asking for a solo that I know I deserve isn’t exactly the same as… this,” Rachel whispered.

Santana chuckled at that, shaking her head as she looked up at Rachel. “Is that it? Think you haven’t done enough to deserve a little pleasure?”

Santana wrapped both arms securely around Rachel again, holding her tight as she sat up. Switching their positions, she laid Rachel back on the bed, their legs slotting together as Santana settled herself over Rachel. She leaned in closer, like she was going in for another kiss, but swerved at the last second and brought her lips up to Rachel’s ear instead.

“You want me to make you work for it, Berry?” she asked in a hushed whisper.

Rachel whined softly, shook her head.

“Well you have to tell me what you do want…”

“I - I want you…” she breathed. Santana tried to pull back enough to look down at Rachel, but the other woman tightened her arms around Santana’s body, keeping her in place. “I want you to - to stop teasing me, and kiss me, and - and touch me.”

“Better…” Santana whispered. Still attempting nonchalance to hide the way her heart jolted in her chest at the request from Rachel.

She rewarded Rachel’s bluntness with more kisses and nips to her neck, still making sure to focus on the spots that got the best reactions. Keeping herself balanced with one arm on the mattress, her other hand came up between them to touch Rachel. Running over the stiff material of the uniform, hesitating just a moment before cupping Rachel’s breast.

Santana knew from experience that it was difficult to get any real gratification from over-the-uniform touches, but Rachel still gasped at Santana’s actions. So she kept it at that for a few moments, sucking another mark into Rachel’s neck as she toyed with her. Squeezing gently, then a little harder, rubbing her thumb over her nipple, trying to see if any of it was working for her.

Just when she was about to ask if Rachel wanted to get the top out of the way, she had her answer.

Rachel’s hand came down to the wrong side of the uniform, fumbling for the zipper that wasn’t there.

“Please get this stupid thing off of me,” she said with a frustrated huff, pouting up at Santana.

“Fuck, you’re such a brat…” Santana muttered, reaching up to the right side and quickly tugging the zipper open. Easily ridding Rachel of the uniform top, and leaving her naked from the waist up.

Santana’s eyes roamed over Rachel’s half naked body, drinking in this new sight before glancing back up to meet Rachel’s eyes. Feeling like Rachel was waiting for her approval.

“Still hot, though,” Santana whispered. She moved down a little, kissing all over where she couldn’t reach before. Letting her lips lead the exploration over Rachel’s collarbones, her chest, the space between her breasts. Her hand slowly wandered up Rachel’s side, enjoying the bare skin underneath, but paused just short of groping her again.

“We can stop if you want to…” she told Rachel. Needing more than Rachel’s reserved silence before she was comfortable going further.

Rachel shook her head quickly. “Please don’t stop…”

Santana felt a sense of relief flood through her body, just knowing Rachel was into this. Into her.

She smiled, and leaned up to press a soft kiss to Rachel’s lips as her hand met her breast again. Repeating the same actions she’d done over the uniform top, for a much more enthusiastic Rachel this time around.

Santana kissed back down Rachel’s body, circling her nipple with her tongue before taking it into her mouth and sucking gently.

“Ohh…” Rachel moaned, reaching up to thread her fingers through Santana’s hair and hold her in place.

Not that Santana planned on moving any time soon.

She was enjoying Rachel’s reactions far too much. All the breathy moans, the little mewls of pleasure, the way her body trembled underneath her, how she tugged at Santana’s hair when Santana got the tiniest bit rough with a pinch or a nip.

And how, before long, Rachel started to weakly grind against Santana’s leg that was situated between both of hers. She thought she felt the slightest damp patch rubbing against her thigh.

“Have you soaked through two layers already?” she asked, licking her lips as she looked up at Rachel. “Or did you decide to go completely commando under my uniform, pervert?”

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” Rachel whispered, parting her legs in invitation.

Santana happily accepted.

She slid a hand down Rachel’s stomach, bypassing the skirt part of the uniform, and let it disappear beneath the waistband of the bright red spankies.

Rachel whimpered as Santana’s fingers brushed over her sensitive clit, and easily glided down lower over her slick folds.

“Fuck, how are you this wet already?” Santana asked in a low, husky voice, keeping her eyes on Rachel’s face as her fingers teased Rachel with practiced, expert movements.

She could tell Rachel was wearing her own underwear as well, because she wasn’t immediately met with the less comfortable fabric of the Cheerio panties. She could also feel a wet spot against the back of her hand letting her know that, yeah, Rachel had already soaked through two layers of clothing.

That was doing wonders for her confidence.

“Is this all from a few hickeys and a little second base action? Makes sense, it’s probably the most time anyone’s ever spent on your pleasure…” she murmured, kissing over one of the marks she’d left behind earlier.

Maybe it was the lingering mean streak in her that begged Santana to tease Rachel even in this situation. But the way Rachel was moaning and basically humping her hand, Santana was sure she could say anything right now and Rachel wouldn’t give a fuck, as long as Santana kept working her clit the way she was.

“Or maybe you started getting turned on when I was taking your picture…” she continued, biting over Rachel’s pulse point and making her cry out. “I know how much you love that…” She licked over the spot to soothe it, pressing a soft kiss there as well. “Too bad I can’t get to your phone now, or I’d have to take some pictures of you like this…”

Rachel let out another soft whimper, absently nodding her head along with Santana’s words.

Santana had thought Rachel didn’t care what she was saying, but maybe she was wrong.

She was starting to think Rachel was getting off on it.

“No, I know what it was…” she purred, slowing her movements down and just idly circling her index finger over Rachel’s clit to draw things out and keep teasing her. “I bet you started getting turned on because I walked in on you doing something risqué. Caught in the act, and all that. You seem like the type of person who needs a healthy little dose of humiliation to get themselves going. Fuck, if that’s the case, you must’ve been this soaked 24/7 in high school…” she chuckled. “That could explain a lot…”

Rachel whined, her face completely flushed pink again. Santana wondered if it was caused more by her words or her actions. Whichever it was, she wasn’t stopping either one.

“Mm, but honestly, I think I was right the very first time…” Santana said, her hand slipping a little lower as she started to sink two fingers into Rachel’s leaking entrance.

Rachel gasped, her legs involuntarily coming closer together. Santana had to nudge them apart again with her own leg to keep Rachel open for her.

“I think I walked in at the start of a very elaborate masturbation session. I think this game of dress up was just the first step.”

She thrust her fingers in with slow, shallow motions, just letting them fill Rachel a little at a time. Delving deeper and deeper, bit by bit, until they were buried as deep inside as they could get. She held still a moment, her thumb finding Rachel’s clit and working it as she started to pump her fingers in and out.

“I know how much you like to put on a show, Berry, even if you’re the only audience member,” she whispered in her ear, listening to the short, ragged breaths that Rachel took as she rode Santana’s fingers. “And the way your mirror and vanity are both facing the bed, well, you would’ve had the best seat in the house, wouldn’t you? Looking like Cheerio royalty, sitting on the edge of your bed with your legs spread, fingering yourself, with the best view from all angles… I bet you would’ve gotten yourself off in no time.”

“Shut… up!” was all Rachel could muster in response. She shoved a hand into her underwear alongside Santana’s, starting to rub her clit while Santana fingered her.

Rachel’s orgasm hit almost immediately, and her back arched off the bed as she came with a loud, lyrical moan.

Santana worked her through it, fingering Rachel until she was spent and stilled her own hand. She pressed a few soft kisses along Rachel’s neck and shoulder as she slowly pulled her fingers out, and pulled them free from the confines of Rachel’s underwear.

“Even your sex noises are annoyingly musical…” Santana muttered.

“I-” Rachel stopped, staring up at Santana as Santana popped her fingers into her mouth and sucked them clean.

“You..?” Santana asked, but Rachel didn’t respond. Just grabbed her by the hair and pulled her in for another heated kiss. Surprising Santana by immediately licking into her mouth, chasing the taste of herself on Santana’s tongue.

The kiss was as quick as it was dirty, and Rachel pulled back far too soon for Santana’s liking. She laid back on the bed, her eyes closed and her lips parted as she let out a content sigh.

Santana laid there as well, watching Rachel for a few moments as she awaited her next move. When she couldn’t be sure one was even coming, Santana started to feel awkward. She turned onto her back, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

Was that it? One and done? She honestly wasn’t expecting Rachel to pay her back, but at least acknowledging her presence post orgasm would be nice.

Santana rolled her eyes, resigning herself to her long overdue shower, and pretending like this never happened once she left the confines of Rachel’s room.

She sat up to leave, but a gentle hand on her arm made her pause.

“Where are you going?” Rachel asked, her brows knitted together ever so slightly as she looked up at Santana with those deep brown doe eyes of hers.

“Shower. Figured you’d want some privacy to change.”

“But I haven’t even - I mean, you didn’t let me…” Rachel trailed off, pouting a little as she pushed herself up onto her elbows. “Are we done?”

“You tell me,” Santana replied with a shrug. Her icy attitude creeping back in now that there was the slightest possibility of Rachel rejecting her again.

“I… I don’t want to be,” she whispered, sitting up fully now and frowning at Santana. “I just needed a moment to catch my breath. I’ve never - Well, it’s been - That was the best orgasm I’ve had in a while,” she admitted. “I didn’t know it was possible to have such a strong reaction from a little fondling and dirty talk.”

“Yeah, well, it’s safe to say I’m the hottest partner you’ve ever had,” Santana replied airily, flipping her hair back over her shoulder. “That probably helped.”

“I most definitely agree with you there…” Rachel said with a shy little smile. “Which would make it all the more disappointing if you were to leave without letting me reciprocate. I mean, you’re still fully dressed, and I was so caught up in what you were doing to me that I was barely in my right mind to do anything back.”

“Well I guess if this is where you want to start worrying about equality and fairness, you won’t hear me complaining,” Santana smirked.

Rachel reached out to tangle her fingers in Santana’s hair, pulling her into a kiss. She eased Santana back on the bed, and Santana went willingly, letting Rachel crawl on top of her and take the reins for a while.

Rachel made short work of Santana’s dancewear, getting her out of her tank top and shorts, then her sports bra, and finally her underwear. Leaving Santana completely naked, while Rachel still sported the remaining vestiges of the Cheerio uniform.

She sat back on her heels, slowly running her hands along Santana’s smooth, toned legs, admiring the view in front of her.

Whether in uniform, dancewear, street clothes, or nothing at all, Santana was every bit as gorgeous as Rachel always knew she was. She used to envy her for it - hate her for it - but those thoughts were so far away from Rachel’s mind at this moment that they might as well have belonged to someone else.

How could Rachel hate her now? How could she be jealous? When Santana was naked in her bed, baring herself completely for her, and her alone. It was everyone else that should be jealous of Rachel now. Because Santana was hers.

At least for the moment.

A slight smirk tugged at Rachel’s lips as her gaze settled on Santana’s opening, seeing her skin already glistening with wetness.

“And you were making fun of me earlier?” Rachel teased, reaching out to run a finger agonizingly slowly over Santana’s folds. Santana shuddered lightly at the touch, then watched in awe as Rachel immediately brought her finger up to her lips and swirled her tongue around it. “Mm, looks like somebody is a bit of a hypocrite…”

“Take it as a compliment, Berry…” Santana muttered, wrapping her legs around Rachel to try and pull her closer. Rachel giggled - actually fucking giggled - and gently pushed Santana’s legs back down to the bed.

“You took your sweet time earlier, I think it’s only fair you give me the same courtesy,” she murmured. She carefully settled herself over Santana, pecking her on the lips once before starting the journey lower, trailing kisses down the column of Santana’s throat.

She must’ve wanted to repay everything Santana did to her, Santana thought, because it wasn’t long before Rachel was latching onto her neck and sucking a mark, in almost the exact same spot Santana left one on her.

Santana reached up to grab onto Rachel’s ponytail again and hold her in place. Her other hand found Rachel’s, bringing it up to her breast so Rachel could give her a different kind of pleasure at the same time. Rachel didn’t protest being moved like this, no doubt too concerned with her budding hickey to say anything. She just let Santana guide her, and started teasing her nipple like she wanted.

Rachel didn’t pull away from her neck for what seemed like ages, and Santana knew there had to be a nasty looking mark left in her wake. But Rachel seemed proud of it judging by the self satisfied little smile on her face.

Rachel gently blew over the wet patch of skin, and Santana shivered.

“Felt like marking your territory, huh?”

“Maybe…” Rachel smiled, before kissing her way lower.

Santana figured none of Rachel’s past fucks were into nipple play, because when Rachel got to second base, she could tell Rachel was mimicking what Santana had done to her. Which wasn’t really a bad thing. Santana knew what she was doing, so Rachel copying her just made it seem like Rachel knew what she was doing.

So it was oh so upsetting when Rachel pulled away far too quickly for Santana’s liking, and started kissing lower down her body instead.

“Oh, you’re -” Santana cut herself off, licking her lips as she watched Rachel.

“Is that okay?” Rachel asked softly, stopping to look up at Santana with her mouth just a few inches shy of Santana’s pussy.

“Fuck, yeah, more than okay…” Santana replied with an eager nod. “I just - didn’t think you’d go for muff diving right away.”

Rachel wrinkled her nose up at the phrase, but pressed a soft kiss to Santana’s hipbone. “I’ll admit it’s something I’ve always been curious about…” she murmured. She dropped another kiss to Santana’s lower abdomen, then moved down to kiss along her inner thighs. “It’s an act that I certainly wouldn’t mind adding to my sexual repertoire…” she added in between kisses.

“Mm, you make it sound so sexy…” Santana purred, her words dripping with sarcasm.

“As sexy as ‘muff diving’?” Rachel shot back.

“Why don’t you put that mouth to good use and eat me already?” Santana asked, still holding onto Rachel’s ponytail and bucking her hips up slightly.

Rachel retaliated by grabbing onto Santana’s thighs, keeping her spread open and pressed down against the bed at the same time. She leaned in closer, hesitating at the last second like she had to steel her nerves, before just going for it.

Santana moaned at the initial contact, holding tight to Rachel’s hair but letting her go at her own pace. Which, Santana quickly found out, was much more erratic and scattershot now that she really didn’t know what she was doing.

“Fuck, Rach, it’s not a competition,” she breathed, gently tugging on Rachel’s hair to get her to back up a little. “It’s been a while for me, too. I just wanna enjoy the ride, okay?”

“I - Sorry…” Rachel whispered, licking over her lips and avoiding Santana’s gaze. “Do you, um… Any advice?” she asked sheepishly.

“You can start by taking your time…” she replied softly. “Just try to remember how it felt whenever you were on the receiving end of it, and try and mimic what felt good to you.”

Rachel remained quiet, still not looking up at Santana, or attempting to resume her oral work.

Fuck, Santana thought, getting enough information in Rachel’s silence to fill in the gaps of her sex life. Or at least enough to realize that Rachel’s sex life was nothing but gaps. With the guys she’d been with, Santana knew it couldn’t be good, but goddamn. It was way past the point of being even a little comical to her now.

Though Santana didn’t think she could be the best teacher. All her experience with guys was just lesson after lesson on what she definitely didn’t want. With her ex, they got to figure things out together. And in the limited hookups she’d had since moving to the city, there were only women who seemed way more experienced than her.

She took a deep breath, gently running her fingers through Rachel’s bangs to sweep them back out of her face.

“Just think about whatever feels good when you touch yourself, and turn it around on me. But with tongue,” she said. “I mean, use your fingers, too. Don’t let me limit your creativity. Just slow it down a little. And don’t just focus on the clit the whole time, either. That’s like, a total rookie mistake.”

“O-okay…” Rachel nodded. “Sorry for being such a drama queen about all this…” she added quietly, pressing a conciliatory kiss to Santana’s hip.

“Like I’d expect anything less…” Santana murmured. “But don’t worry, I plan on giving you lots of opportunities to practice until you’ve totally perfected your technique.”

Rachel cracked a smile at that, ducking her head bashfully and leaving a few more kisses in her wake as she traveled back to Santana’s center. She started again, working much more slowly this time, taking her time to just savor everything about the experience.

Santana let out a soft hum in satisfaction, going back to holding onto the base of Rachel’s ponytail, guiding her a little but mostly letting her explore on her own. She spread her legs wider for Rachel, folding her other arm behind her head so she could prop herself up and enjoy the view.

“Mm, better already, baby…” she breathed. “Just nice and slow for now. You can build up to more…”

Rachel hummed in response, sending a shiver up Santana’s spine.

Santana didn’t offer too many instructions after that, but wasn’t shy about praising Rachel either. She let her know what felt good, encouraged her to keep going, even told her how hot she looked.

Of course Rachel ate it all up.

But she had to back off after a while just to catch her breath. Feeling light headed, like she’d somehow been forgetting to breathe this entire time. “Still doing a good job?” she asked, tracing her index finger over Santana, following all the same paths her tongue had taken.

“Better than good…” Santana whispered, her hand sliding down to cradle Rachel’s jaw, her thumb brushing over her bottom lip that was slick and shiny from her juices. She raised her hand up to suck it clean and taste herself.

Rachel smiled proudly at that, her attention shifting downward again as she slowly started to push two fingers inside of Santana. Santana moaned, clenched tight around her, before relaxing into it. Rachel watched as Santana’s hips rolled with her movements, fucking herself deeper and deeper onto Rachel’s fingers.

She brought her other hand up to spread Santana open further, making it easier to get to her clit. She swirled her tongue around it, sucking gently, as her fingers started moving faster in and out of Santana.

“Fuck, baby, just like that…” Santana moaned, her hand tight in Rachel’s hair to keep her in place now. Rocking her hips up to press herself harder against Rachel’s tongue, and down again to fuck herself on her fingers. “I’m close…”

It only took a few more moments for Santana to chase down her orgasm, crying out as she came and spilled out all over Rachel.

Rachel didn’t stop. She just doubled down, working her fingers at a rapid pace inside Santana and eagerly lapping at her cunt until she got Santana to cum again.

“Fuck!” Santana cried, pulling Rachel in suffocatingly close and riding her tongue and fingers until her second orgasm subsided. She had to push Rachel back after that, her sensitive pussy desperate for a reprieve.

Rachel popped up from between her legs, a smile on her face as she crawled up the bed to lay down beside Santana. “Still good?” she asked.

Santana turned her head to look at Rachel, just to see most of the lower half of her face shining with her juices. She let out a breathless laugh, leaning closer to plant a sloppy kiss on Rachel’s lips - trying to taste herself more than she was actually trying to kiss Rachel. “You’re a fucking mess…” she mumbled, falling back against the pillows. “You must’ve really been dying to experiment like this.”

“I was. Eager, I mean…” Rachel whispered, keeping her eyes on Santana’s as she spoke. “But not just for an experiment, or experience points. That was nice, of course, but… Well, I couldn’t see myself doing this with just anyone. And you certainly aren’t just anyone.”

“Damn straight,” Santana smirked.

Rachel laughed.

“Imagine if we knew three years ago that we would end up here…” Rachel sighed. “We could’ve saved ourselves a lot of fighting.”

“Nah, I think we needed the build up,” Santana replied. “It was three years of very elaborate, drawn out foreplay.”

“Maybe you’re right…” Rachel chuckled. “Just promise me it won’t take three more years of arguments and insults before we have sex again.”

“Oh, I promise.”

“And hey, since you were so fond of the dress up idea, I’m sure I can dig up some old plaid skirts for you to wear next time…”

“Don’t push your luck, Berry.”

[tuiyla]

I'm curious to read your in-depth thoughts on the Pezberry feud. I remember being so frustrated by it back when Glee was airing bc I thought it only happened to keep Lea and Naya away from each other due to their own feud irl (which was revealed at the end of s5 and led to Naya being written out of the finale). I think we probably would have gotten more Pezberry and Kurtcheltana scenes if Lea Michele hadn't been so insufferable. In any case, hopefully you'll provide a Watsonian perspective that will allow me to appreciate the Pezberry feud more lol.

I go wild whenever someone speaks my language yes Anon I'll be on that Watsonian analysis you know it <3

I think I'm much calmer about the feud than I used to be, mostly because I'm sad instead of upset and I don't go on reddit anymore where I had to witness a "wHO wAs RigHt" poll every week. But also because I've made peace with it on a Watsonian level so when, if ever, I get to the feud in my rewatch I think I'll be ready to cover it. I rewatched a tiny bit of those scenes for giffing purposes recently and I was like damn okay so this is how it went down, I could make sense of this. Unfortunately that won't be tomorrow but hopefully not in ages?

I'm not sure how much of it was actually inspired by Naya and Lea's IRL relationship and, as I always say, not my place to speculate. I would guess that the feud was written before they really imploded in real life but again, I don't think it's for us to know and speculate. I 100% blame Lea for Naya's absence in 5x20 (well, 90%) but I don't think the feud was that inspired by real life. I'll just choose to take Naya's word about their falling out i.e. that it was wildly blown out of proportion by the tabloids. I do mourn the wasted Kurtcheltana potential of season 6 though. Now that makes me immensely sad.

[rarespinecatalogue]

Pezberry - Spanish Project

(This story is also on fanfiction.net)

Ay dios mio Santana thought as she looked at her schedule. Spanish with Mr.Schue….fun She groaned, dreading 7th period before even getting there. She didn’t need to take Spanish, she was Hispanic after all; she just hates when her family makes fun of her for not using the correct tenses in her sentences. For example, instead of saying “¿Quieres ver un película después de la cena?,” she’d probably mess up the tense of a word or mispronounce it making her sound like a gringa instead of the Latina that she is.

2:51 PM. The start of seventh period. Great. Sitting down, Santana looks up at the board only to see it read, “Rules: Respect, Participation, Fun (If you follow the rules)” Oh geeze. Shue really wants his kids to like him… Santana thought, rolling her eyes. It’s not that it was stupid or anything, it was just because it was Mr.Schuester who thought of it.

She didn’t hate the guy, he was her glee teacher for the past years after all. He just had this… vibe to him. He was basically a 2000’s Justin Timberlake wanna be who had more gel in his hair than a factory could produce. Speak of the devil She thought, seeing Mr.Schue walk into the classroom.

“Hola clase, today nos vamos a ser un progecto, on the rules of the classroom. I will explain the rules after you all partner up. And no, you can’t choose. Your partners have been listed on the board,” he says while taking papers out of his briefcase. Santana went up to board, blood going cold after reading who she was partnered with.

Rachel Berry

Rachel was an okay person to the Latina. Yes, she was competitive, an amazing singer, was really cute and- where was I going with this?… Oh, right! -but besides all that, Rachel was annoying, demanding, short and- Oh who is Santana kidding? Not herself, that’s for sure. She knew exactly why her face went paler than the paper she read and it clearly wasn’t because of how annoying Rachel was. Suddenly, the Jewish girl came into her peripheral vision.

“Santana! It seems that we have been partnered up for Mr.Schue’s assignment… please don’t hurt me. I was not the cause of this nor did I influence his decision and I know how much you hate me by the names you always call me and I just wanted to make sure we had some ground rules before we started. For starters, the nicknames have to stop…” Rachel rambled on, causing the Latina’s eyes to widen with every word she said, causing her to wonder how on earth she was still breathing. Suddenly, the older girl’s hand went up, causing Rachel to stop talking.

“Look Hobbit, if we’re gonna be partners, this ranting you’re doing all the time? Yeah, it gots to stop, understood?” She looks at her, continuing once Rachel nods. “Good. Now, let’s go sit down and see what we have to do for this stupid assignment,” Santana says, walking back to the table before Rachel could get a word out of her mouth. After both girls sat down next to each other, the lights turned off and the projector turned on. And of course, those few students screamed as if they’ve never been in a dark room before. Pinche pendejos Santana thinks, rolling her eyes.

The rest of the class was just an in depth version of the rules. You know, the normal “Be prepared at your desk before the bell rings, no talking while others are presenting, keep personal space, no phone usage and the bell not dismissing you” kind of rules every teacher has. Obviously Santana wouldn’t follow the last two. She always finished early and the rest of the time was always boring. She at least needed some texting to be done or music to be played in order to get by.

Santana started walking to her locker after class but once again got stopped by the glee captain. “Santana! You left before we could even  discuss what to do for our project.” Santana glared, “Kind of the point..” Rachel’s smile fell, causing the taller girl’s stomach to knot. “…but seeing as you’re already here, I guess you can tell me the plan since I am almost a hundred percent sure you already have one in that organized brain of yours Tiny.” Rachel looked down trying to hide the blush caused by the Latinas comment and nickname. Just before Santana could think anything about it, she looked back up and opened her mouth. “Come to my house after school and we’ll talk about it there,” She said and walked away, leaving Santana with a gaped mouth.

So there Santana was, six minutes passed five  (because when has she ever been on time for something?), right outside The Berry Residence with her backpack and a lump in her throat. It’s not like Santana hadn’t been to Rachel’s house before, the whole alcohol week fiasco could vouch for that. It’s just…  it would only be her and Rachel. Not the whole Glee club and Blaine.

Before Santana could even knock, the door swung open with one Rachel Berry blocking the doorway. At least… she thought it was Rachel because instead of her normal animal sweaters and argyle skirts, she was in a plain black long-sleeve, jean shorts and Converse.

Santana’s breath hitched as she took in Rachel’s appearance and stared. At least until someone’s fingers were snapping in front of her face. “Hello? Santana? Are you going to come in or am I going to have to explain our project outside because I was really hoping I could use the visuals I had created.”

Yep, that’s Rachel alright.

“Uhh, sorry it’s just… Berry? That’s you right? Where’s all the argyle and animal-themed clothing?” She says, trying to subtlety look Rachel up and down.

“Those are only worn so I don’t get cancelled by every high school boy with eyes. I do have a sense of fashion San,” Rachel says, blushing at Santana’s teasing. Chuckling softly, Santana walks into the house once Rachel moves out the door way. Yep. Still the same from the last time she was here.

“So where are your dads?” The Latina asks as she’s looking around the whole house.

“Dad’s at the hospital doing a night shift and Daddy is in a conference at Columbia.” Santana’s eyes widen and turns to shorter girl, “You’re gonna be home alone? All night?” She asks, trying not to let her worry over the shorter girl show (which obviously wasn’t working by the other girls confused written face.)

“Yeah? It’s not like this is the first time… I’ll be okay Santana, no need to worry.” Santana’s eyes slightly widened but soon got covered up by a glare and her arms being crossed. “I’m not worried about you being alone Tiny. I’m just wondering why you would ask me over while home alone,” She says, smirking once she sees Rachel’s goofy smile turn into a major blush.

“Th-that’s not - Santana I- I would never -” Santana’s smirk only grew the more Rachel flustered over her words, causing the Latina to chuckle lightly. “Yeah yeah Rachel, I’m just messing with you. So, where’s this 30 page essay of a plan you’ve created?”

Once they were in the Jewish girls room and the PowerPoint had been presented, Santana was left in anger, annoyance and worry. Acting out the rules being done and broken? And… oh geeze, the last “scene.” Why oh why did Mr.Schue have to have “Personal Space” as a rule? Surely Santana’s secret would be revealed before they even get to present the stupid thing!

“Rachel… Are you sure you don’t want to bring Finn or-or Puck or even Sam for the last scene? Or maybe change it to something other than…” Santana blushed, not wanted to even say what Rachel had suggested. I am so glad Ethnic people don’t blush well. “Of course not! We’re partners and this would be a great acting exercise for me. If I can do this with you, and practice it might I add, then I’m basically ready for any Broadway production!”

Santana’s eyes widened. Practiced? As in… Practicing that scene over and over until Friday? THREE WHOLE DAYS OF THAT SCENE? Santana was on the verge of fainting just at the thought.

It was bad enough pairing up with her crush, but now she had to KISS her multiple times?! Not to mention in front of the class for one of them!

Santana straightened her posture and put her HBIC face on, “Alright Berry, just because I dated Brittany does not mean I wanna kiss every girl I see, gots it? Just don’t try anything or I swear I will go all Lima Heights on you.” Rachel’s smile fell, “S-Santana…” “No Rach. Look, I gotta go before my mom gets so pissed she’ll yell in Spanish longer and faster than you ever could. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Before Rachel could answer Santana was out of her room and out the front door.

After that, Santana only answered Rachel’s texts in a few words and didn’t talk to her much during school… That is until 7th period causing Santana’s ignoring of the short girl to end abruptly once Rachel dropped a GIANT stack of papers in front of her. Santana looked up at the girl, feeling weird seeing her back in her argyle and animal clothing after how she saw her the night before. “Santana, this is the script for our project. Your lines are in yellow and each scene is written in a different font.”

“Yeah, so not gonna do that. Look, how about we just don’t say anything unless it’s needed- like in the second scene- and the rest can be improvised if needed, because there is no way I am memorizing a constitutions worth of lines.” Just before Rachel could oppose, the bell rang, causing her to squeal and sit down not wanting to break a rule on the second day. Chuckling lightly, Santana sits back in her chair and smirks once she notices Rachel’s glare.

For the next three days Santana had always found an excuse to postponing the kiss. She’d either create an excuse of needing to pee, feeling hungry, not feeling like kissing or just saying she had to leave. This always caused Rachel to huff in annoyance or roll her eyes. Rachel just wanted a kiss, even if it was just for show to Santana. Yeah, she knows she seems desperate, but she just wants to know how she is before she can get over her crush on the Latina. She just hopes the older girls doesn’t chicken out during their actual performance.

And now there they were. In front of the class about to present on that Friday afternoon. Once Rachel finally convinced Mr.Schue to say action they began the show. Both girl were outside the door and after a few seconds, Rachel came into the class, sitting down while having her supplies. Santana then came into the class acting- well, acting like Santana.

“You see, Santana is breaking the rule in this scene. Nice job ladies, now let’s go to the next rule?” Mr.Schuester said and before he knew it, the scene changed.

Rachel was suddenly in front of the classroom “presenting” while Santana started to have a conversation with Brittany…who was across the room. Conveniently, it was also around the time they would normally do their bell ringers. “Fantastic Santana, I can see this is supposed to be the no talking rule. Next rule?” And once again, the scene changed.

This time though, it was Rachel who had her phone out, texting and breaking the rules while Santana was doing the “work” (she was basically scribbling on a paper trying to make Rachel laugh whenever she would glance at the paper.) Surprised, Mr.Schue nodded, “Amazing job, very creative Rachel. Now.. the second to last rule?”

Suddenly, Rachel grabbed her backpack and walked out, causing everyone to gasp except the Latina, who just smirked at everyone’s reactions. Once Mr.Schuester composed himself, Rachel came back inside, also smirking at their reactions and because of what was to happen in the next scene. “Um… *clears throat *  Final rule?”

Not a second later, everything seemed to go in slow motion in that 7th period Spanish class. Rachel walked over to Santana, grabbed her face and kissed her slowly, not wanting to rush the moment. Surprised when the taller girls started kissing back, Rachel pulled away smiling. Both girls stared at one another, goofy smiles and blushes on each one of their faces.

Mr.Shue never did assign projects after that.

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

Glee 5x09 liveplurk

Yuè [glee 5x09] ofc I skipped that fucking Christmas ep

Yuè anyway it's vacay so I can watch as much glee as o want Yuè in case you're wondering what I'm talking about I decided to rewatch glee and I decided to try to relive it aka only one episode a week Yuè except for the two parter episodes that aired on the same day Yuè and I wasn't allowed to skip till 4x09 cause that's where I first started skipping Yuè I mean I already fucked up by not watching the episodes on the air day but only on Tuesday Yuè but yknow the one episode a week thing doesn't apply in vacation Yuè I kinda wanna try to finish season 5 this vacation cause you know... it's not as bad as season 4 but I'm kind of done with it Yuè sure there are some great episodes waiting for me but you know.. season 6 Yuè time for the actual episode Yuè such a typical racist white suburban mom Yuè THIS COULD'VE BEEN SUCH A GREAT FRIENDSHIP BUT THEN THIS EPISODE HAPPENED Yuè Rachel shut the fuck up Yuè you will throw your dream away so why bother Yuè same with this Pezberry thing.. just knowing they will fuck it up in less than one episode Yuè TARTIE FRIENDSHIP Yuè Oh Tina Yuè I love this song so much cause it was after a hiatus and it brought back the glee club in such a great way and it's an aniversary number and.. Blaine looks good in green Yuè just Blaine my boy wearing green... fuck me up with those Phalanx feels Yuè Sue your fourth wall breaking is still kinda inaccurate cause Tina was absent for no reason in 3x11 Yuè I'm sorry but this episode is just Feud 2.0 and it's tiring Yuè why is this shoot in fucking NYADA Yuè you know who actually looks good? Santana Yuè I love this song and therefore I can say that glee didn't do it justice Yuè really Naya is stunning Yuè guys. .. this is so unnecessary Yuè this really is so unnecessary like guys ... there's no reason for this Yuè Tina... you guys are awful to each other right now Yuè Why are ALL THESE STORYLINES SO UNNECESSARY AND WEIRD AND THEY WILL MEAN NOTHING Yuè Blaine you look good in pastels Yuè Rachel why are you.. where did this star allure come from Yuè the entire new Rachel thing is so stupid and anyway Blaine luckily won't get th e solo after all Yuè how did Jenna and Kevin manage to have a really great and a really awful duet in one ep Yuè why is Blaine only wearing plaid in this ep? Yuè this ep should be called: emotional exhaustion Yuè cause that's how I feel about this ep... the storylines are so stupid it's exhausting Yuè YEAH TINA FEEL BAD Yuè I gotta skip this scene the second hand embarrassment of this jesus Kurt why Yuè Rachel I know Darren Criss did his Hedwig run without understudy but that's fucking rare okay don't act as if you need extra privileges Yuè honestly.. the new music arrangement isn't that bad but Naya can't do DROMP justice Yuè I gotta skip this son Yuè g Yuè time for an actual good song hooray Yuè YEEEES I LOVE THIS SONG SURE IT WAS A BIT UNBALANCED CAUSE ADAM WAS WAY STRONGER THAN CHRIS BUT HOLY SHIT Yuè this song always reminds me of my first time in London cause the ep had just aired and this song was on repeat in the tube Yuè "you don't own the song" Yuè "do you know how insane you sound" Yuè I always joke Blaine is the only sane man but it's Kurt Yuè uhm RACHEL YOU PLAYED A LATINA ROLE... A MAIN ROLE... SO DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO SANTANA AND CASTING RACISM LIKE THAT Yuè yeah girls since you're not only white but also super obnoxious I get that the thought of a latina Fanny Brice might scare you but until two years ago so was the thought of Latino Hamilton married to Chinese Eliza who has a black sister Yuè you are so big on Broadway so you off all people should know that using Santana's etnicity to stop her is bullshit Yuè I'm back Yuè I just had dinner Yuè Santana has a point because Rachel is so entitled Yuè I gotta skip this cause it's so stupid I can't stand it Yuè this scene was way too long Yuè don't get me wrong I love all glee characters except for Schue and Finn but there are moments where I wonder why I still love Rachel and this entire storyline is why- this entire season Yuè I can't believe Sue invited Schue and Beiste and Figgins Yuè at least these two make up and realise this fight was stupid Yuè good job Artie and Tina Yuè yeah I'm just going to skip all of this Pezberry bullshit Yuè and look... Kurt and Elliott also talk it out and realise they're better as friends cause not everyone needs drama Yuè aka 10/10 to Tartie Yuè 11/10 to Kelliott Yuè -10/10 for Pezberry Yuè BLAINE I S2G Yuè "I feel like sometimes things just get handed to me" no shit sweetie Yuè PANCAKE FACE Yuè and just when I think one stupid storyline involving Elliott is over the next one starts Yuè Tina and Artie behind Blaine's back ... like... UHM Yuè wow look Blaine you're an actual friend in this episode I love it and I love your outfit Yuè fuck off Pezberry Yuè honestly Jenna has the best female voice in my opinion and Darren has the best male voice but Kevin is second place aka... YES TO THIS TRIO Yuè unfortunately the song isn't that great though Yuè you know this entire scene with Rachel moving out could've been really emotional if the story were actually good so it's not at all and I kinda wanna laugh at her face cause SUCK IT Yuè that rip of the photo is just petty and pathetic af Rachel I already know you're stupid you don't have to rub it in

[tuiyla]

Okay this was a random Pezberry thought at 3am a few days back and I finally have the time to write it out.

So I was going through all the solos in Glee the other day and noting how many were diegetic vs non-diegetic. As one does. And you know, there weren’t nearly as many non-diegetic ones as I expected. I know there’s a quote somewhere from Ryan Murphy that they wanted songs to either be fully diegetic or to have a good reason for existing in the story, so not just bursting into song for no reason. And they did abandon that at some point because they abandoned everything, but a lot of songs still do follow that pattern. I looked at solos and those even tend to have higher chances of being non-diegetic by nature of only involving one person. And there are lots of mixed ones, mind, with half of the performance being diegetic in the choir room and then some fantasy sequence with elaborate customing or something.

So what does that have to do with Pezberry. Well, if most songs are diegetic and performed within the show’s universe, or at least some fantasy sequence that’s explicitly a fantasy, then what the hell are Brave and Every Breath You Take? The two Tartie duets we get in Frenemies are both diegetic but what about Pezberry? What was the reason here? Because they sure as hell aren’t part of the show’s inner logic, as little logic as Glee still had in season 5 anyway. Brave is rather obviously taking place within Santana’s imagination and Every Breath You Take is surely not actually happening during rehearsals. Pezberry are dramatic af but surely they wouldn’t actually do the stalker song at the theatre.

Brave is easier to explain because it’s from Santana’s perspective so fine, it’s just her imagination. That still leaves us with so many ways to interpret the scene but at least it’s more straightforward. But Every Breath You Take? Is it a shared fever dream? Is it the symbolic manifestation of both their viewpoints? Of their conflict? What is the reason, Ryan Murphy? I don’t actually have a point to all this, I’ll get back to you when I figure it out but I wanted to let this out because, as much as I appreciate every Pezberry duet, why. Like, they really do not just burst into song on Glee as much as I remembered they do (even if it does happen more than I think they wanted it to at first). So non-diegetic numbers like these two should, theoretically, if this was good TV, have an actual meaning and a reason for their existence.

So, once again, why, Glee, why. And why the stalker song of all things for that matter.

[tuiyla]

Thinking about how the entire NY gang tried everything they could to help Rachel out of bed on her opening night. Thinking about Kurt knowing what their only option was, and thinking about Santana's very first thing when she gets back to New York being a not-a-pep-talk to Rachel. Thinking about how she needed less than five minutes to get through to her because they get each other in ways others don't.

I am thinking