#phalloplasty australia

[bpdcarmyberzatto]

i'm transsexual because i've fundamentally altered my sex (removed gender specific sex organs (top surgery) and altered my hormones (take testosterone)) and i'm only missing one surgery which i would have by now if the going rate in australia isn't $150,000 for all the surgeries (phalloplasty). i'm sorry but people who physically transition are at more visible risk because we present as medical patients whereas those who only socially transition or do not transition at all have capability of resuming a "cis" life.

my facial hair is not leaving, my breasts are not coming back and my swathes of body hair are not dropping off my body. i do not get the ability to file back into society seamlessly. i'm a corrupted product and will be for the rest of my life which isn't bad but it means i'm more visible even when being "stealth".

[loadingluke]

6 months post stage 3

Hello! Sorry for my absence. Since I’m fully recovered from all my surgeries, I’ve not really had much to say, and I have been keeping very busy with my honours year, on top of being in lockdown of course. I thought I’d make a quick update on how everything is going though since at this point it has been several months. As of August, I am 1 and a half years post stage 1, 1 year post stage 2 and 6 months post stage 3.

Nothing has really changed since my most recent update, and everything is ticking along fine. I’ve not had any complications, or any issues of note in the last few months since I last updated. I’m very happy with how everything has gone, and honestly, I don’t really think about it all that much on a day to day. Life feels pretty normal these days, which is a nice feeling after so many years of discomfort and disconnect. 

I’m able to do everything I hoped I would be able to after surgery, and I don’t have any complaints. Everything feels so normal and natural now that I sometimes forget that my body ever was different. Since surgery, and most especially since stage 3, I feel a lot more connected to my body in general, but especially in intimate situations. Without going into too much personal detail, I’m very happy with how everything works in that context, and I’m not regretting my decision to go with the inflatable device, and I’ve not had any issues with just having one cylinder. I think that’s all the detail anyone really needs to hear about lol, but yes, it all works and it's all great. 

I am meant to be having my sign off appointment with Dr Goossen in November, but I’m gonna say that’s not happening with the whole COVID sitch. I’m fine with that though as I don’t really have any issues or anything, so I guess I’ll just pop back up when things are more normal again. After restrictions ease, I am also planning on continuing with my electrolysis, and organising medical tattooing, but I’m not gonna rush it given the state of things. When I start to get back into looking at that I’ll give an update on how all that process is going and the steps and costs involved.

I think from now on I’ll really only post here if something of note happens or if I have any information that I think would be beneficial. If anyone has anything in particular that they would like me to talk about please let me know and I’ll do my best to reply 

[phalloplastyaustralia]

Today I pissed out of my dick for the first time and I have never been so happy about taking a piss in my entire life.

[ironic-dysgraphia]

TIL that phalloplasty in Australia costs approximately 100K. WTF. That's an impossible amount to raise for surgery. Disappointing

[danielnelsen]

@ anyone who provides a service i might be interested in; if u can only be contacted by phone and not by email, u have already lost my custom

[ftmaussieway]

Hello, My name is Leon. I'm vietnamese.

I have been living in Australia for 1 year and I want to do Phalloplasty by Dr. Hans Goosen.  But I don't have enough money.  I want to sign up for Health Insurance to get free surgery.  Can I ask if insurance will cover it?  And what insurance will cover?  Because in my opinion, Medicare does not pay for transgender surgery.  Please advise me.

Thanks!

Hi, unfortunately in Australia no insurance will cover surgery completely, so having surgery with Goossen will not be free. There are a few private health insurances that will cover the hospital and theatre fees, but you’d still be 70-80k out of pocket for RFF. Abdo phallo and meta is cheaper, but still at least 20k. Medicare does give a small rebate, but not much compared to the total cost. 

I went with Bupa, but there are a few around that will cover the hospital and theatre fees, as they are all standardised now. 

- Luke

[kamolhospital]

Trans Mtf Bottom Surgery Australia

If you want to have trans mtf bottom surgery, then Kamol Hospital is the best choice for you. With expert gender reassignment surgeons you can get the right advice and best treatments. The patient must be at least 20 years of age. Consent from parents or legal guardians is required to complete the surgery for minors under 20 years old. For more details, you must visit our website: https://www.kamolhospital.com/en/service/phalloplasty/

[loghainmactir]

hewwo! i was wondering if u could pls give me some advice on starting my transition? ive been so scared to start bc of family and costs but ive decided to just. do it. yknow? like if i don't ill probably die lol. u look amazing and rly confident in yourself in all ur selfies and one day i wanna be Like That ✌️❤️

hi! ok, so first of all: yeah, i absolutely can give u advice, and second of all: i remember feeling exactly like you did. it literally wasn’t that long ago, either, it was like. 2013/14/15 (i can’t remember, time is fake, whatever lmao!). third of all: bless u yr so sweet. i still have a lotta issues with confidence (i doubt myself, my talent and what i can do literally hourly), but honestly? i love my body right now. it’s a good, genderless body, goddamnit.

long, long post ahead bc i’m trying to think of things i did and good god please take it with a grain of salt because a lot of this is just me ranting about things i wish I’D done in my own position. i’m also coming from a place where HRT and surgeries AREN’T free, so that’s also A Thing. everyone’s experience is different.

transitioning (particularly medically) really super fuckin varies country by country (and honestly probably even state by state, age by age and fuckin gender by gender because cis people won’t let us fucking BE goddamn): i don’t know where you are, so my only tips there r: find a trans friendly doctor/endo (i was kinda forced to go through a hospital bc That Was How It Was here in good ol’ Australia), and one people wholeheartedly recommend, if you wanna go that route.

my first point is make sure you find safe spaces in every goddamn aspect of your transition. medically, socially, physically. if you think your doctor is refusing you treatment or is discriminating against you, you NEED to ditch that doctor. if your friends and family are really verbally or physically violent against LGBT folks, you NEED to leave that space if you can (or not come out and wait until you can leave. seriously. i’m kinda lucky– my grandma was verbally violent against LGBT folks, and initially my mum was skepitcal, but i convinced them both to go to a group for LGBT+ parents and friends and they slowly turned around). get yourself friends, get yourself allies.

i cannot stress that enough. my first doctor refused to send my referral letter to the royal children’s hospital gender clinic because even tho he presented as a “nice” guy, he believed that because this was “”””out of the blue”””” for me, he figured he’d just Not Send It (and tried to tell me that a lotta kids there didn’t actually helpo, lol). so there i was, a young 15-16 year old alister, waiting like 2-3 months for something that didn’t even get fucking sent.

join trans groups on facebook and in real life. seriously, they’re a godsend; there’s buy-and-sells, advice posts, encouragement posts. ESPECIALLY local ones. most of them on facebook are private, meaning no one can see if you’re posting/in the group, and it’s easy to check if they’re not. these fb pages + local groups are good ways to find trans friendly spaces and doctors. i found my current doctor, who’s actually one of the very few doctors who knows what the fuck he’s on about re: trans people, through a real life trans group. they were like “oh, you should see x”, and even though he’s about 30-40 minutes away from me, he’s brilliant and honestly saved my life.

along those lines: figure out what you want from your transition, and then realize & accept that this may change (and it also may not change!). very early on, i was super insistent that i wanted phalloplasty and to wear packers, and now i couldn’t care less. at first, i identified as agender, and then as a trans guy/ftm, and now i identify as a Black Hole (i’m kidding, don’t @ me). like, a lotta people DON’T change their minds. but i did, some people do, and it shouldn’t be anyone’s business but your own what you want to do with your body 

(sidenote: this also goes for detransitioning or stopping medical transition but continuing to socially transition/present differently. literally, it’s fine. it’s your body. fuck anyone who says otherwise.)

again: FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.

your body is literally your body. do NOT let anyone tell you what to do with it or who you are. i had people very early on scream at me (legitimately scream and throw me out of home, thanks grandma), tell me i wasn’t actually trans, and harrass me for this shit: but frankly, if i’d put myself back in the closet, i wouldn’t be alive right now. i would’ve killed myself years ago, and i wish i wasn’t kidding. if it’s safe, you need to stand up for your own body and your rights and put yourself somewhere that will allow you to follow through. you need to keep going and keep living.

my only other two pieces of advice are “patience, baby”– like, for real, every single part of transition takes time. this varies from where you are and who’s supporting you, but it’s generally true. it takes time for people to accept new names and pronouns 

(lotta people get furious about this, and i used to be one of those people, but hindsight’s a bitch and you gotta realize that… like, it’s hard for some cis people. you gotta give them a little bit of wiggle room, especially if they’ve never ever met a trans person before. it’s about reminders, reminders, reminders: which is SO hard if you’re not safe/don’t have the confidence. there IS a flip side to this though: if chad and stacey have known your new pronouns for months, now, and they keep “””slipping””” up, they’re not slipping up, honey. they’re doing it on purpose. kick their teeth in i’m kidding please don’t do this you know what i mean.)

it takes time for HRT to kick in. it takes time to gather a Look™ of your own you like, it takes time to build confidence to even tell people, it takes time to save up money for surgeries and it just… takes time. sometimes because it’s a naturally slow process, sometimes because cis people are Cis People and like to gatekeep. i remember being very young in my transition, sitting in the car after one of my appointments with the afformentioned shithead doctor bawling my eyes out because he’d told me i wouldn’t be able to access t for x amount of time and it was bullshit. this year i’ll be 2 years on t. wild, huh? there’s a lot of us and not equal amounts of resources (ESPECIALLY in public systems) depending on where you are, so you gotta be prepared to WAIT.

i’ll tell you what super helped me through those years: hyping myself up for other things! i still have the ticket from my first twenty one pilots show. that show meant SO much to me. i cried all through it, because waiting for that show kept my mind off of the wait for my royal children’s appointments (and even waiting to go up to melbourne bc my mum and i would go and get kebabs was a good thing to focus on!). keep things that aren’t trans related on hand (seriously i struggled with this because dysphoria and shit is fucking hard!! it’s easy to say but really fucking hard to put into practice).

(one day i’m gonna tell tyler and josh just how much they saved my goddamn life. i know they hear it weekly, but i will.)

my other thing is that uh. it won’t solve all your problems especially if you’ve got mental illnesses. this is a really fuckin depressing thing i had to drill into my brain, but it really helped. transitioning solved SO many of my issues. i no longer have back issues (thanks, like, literal kilo titties, lmao), i no longer have sore ribs and i can breathe and wear shirts. i lost so much weight (and am kinda gaining it back, but whatever). i no longer have anxiety about whether people can tell i’m binding– which is WILD because i used to stress the fuck out about it to the point where i never went out anywhere. i used to sit on the bus wondering if the person next to me could tell i had titties. now it literally doesn’t even register.

my issues now stem from PTSD, depression, BPD and ADHD. how do you fix this? you don’t. but what HAS helped is finding a therapist who won’t pressure you into talking about trans shit. lemme tell you: this shit gets exhausting after the fifth time of “oh i googled ‘can you become a boy’ when i was, like, nine” (this is my go to story because this memory is so vivid). of course, there’s gonna be moments where you HAVE to: my therapist recently actively asked me to briefly run through it for my PTSD report. but otherwise we literally haven’t talked about it and that is a GODSEND (because i don’t need it. if you need it, that’s good, too!). having a therapist that you can just wordvomit at wrt anything is literally the best thing and can be super helpful– seriously, there were a few trans-related sessions where i just snarled about the bullshit gatekeeping and the bastard i had to see for my therapist letter (oooh, every time i think abt the fact that it was something like $400-500 for two fucking sessions i get so mad lol), but outta 14 it’s really only like 2-3 of them.

but yeah. that’s it. i dunno, these are things that i’ve learnt and sorta… like to think as helpful for myself. of course, this could be different for you: you’re not me, you’re entirely different, in no doubt an entirely different country, social, financial, mental state. i was FUCKED UP when i first came out. i didn’t know that then, but i do now. i spent a lotta time by myself and that’s not healthy, so i really encourage you to reach out to our community, local and worldly, because oh my god, we’re here for you. we are SO here for you.

[queerasfact]

Queer as Fact episodes by location

Here’s a list of all our episodes by continent, and then by country. Hopefully this will help people find specific topics they’re interested in, and also help us try and increase the diversity of what we talk about. I will link this on our main page and try and keep it updated as we go along. Enjoy!

This list doesn’t include our Queer as Fiction episodes on queer media, which can be found here.

You can also find our episodes organised by time period.

Africa

Queer Women in Medieval Arab Literature

Angola

Njinga of Ndongo (1582-1663, monarch)

Benin

The Agojie (1700s-1894, regiments of soldiers assigned female at birth)

Tanzania

Freddie Mercury (1946-1991, the frontman of rock band, Queen. Freddie was born in Zanizbar to Indian parents and lived there as a young child and again briefly as a teenager)

South Africa

Simon Nkoli (1959-1998, activist)

Asia

Queer Women in Medieval Arab Literature

China

Queer Love in Early Chinese History

Han Zigao (538-567 general)

Wú Zǎo (c.1799-1862, poet and playwright)

Golden Orchid Societies (19th-20th century communities of women rejecting traditional marriage)

Yoshiko Kawashima (1907-1948 Chinese-Japanese public figure and spy)

India

Hijra is 19th-century India

Michael Dillon (1915-1962, first trans man to undergo a phalloplasty. Michael was born in the UK and spent the last years of his life studying Buddhist traditions in India)

Freddie Mercury (1946-1991, the frontman of rock band, Queen. Freddie was born in Zanzibar to Indian parents, and then spent much of his childhood in India.)

Iran

Abu Nuwas (c.750-c.814 poet)

Maryam Khatoon Molkara (1950-2012, trans activist)

Iraq

Abu Nuwas (c.750-c.814 poet)

Israel

Gad Beck (1923-2012, German activist, WWII resistance member, and Holocaust survivor)

Yona Wallach (1944-1985, poet)

Japan

Yoshiya Nobuko (1896-1973, author)

Yoshiko Kawashima (1907-1948 Chinese-Japanese public figure and spy)

Pakistan

Shah Hussayn (1538-1599, poet)

Philippines

Beki (queer language originating in the 1960s or 70s)

Taiwan

Qiu Miaojin (1969-1995, writer)

Australia and Oceania

Australia

Queer as Fact meets History is Gay (a conversation about queer slang in Australia and the USA)

Captain Moonlite parts one and two (1845-1880, bushranger)

Harry Crawford (1875-1938, trans man tried for murder)

William Dobell (1889-1970, artist)

Lesbia Harford (1891-1927, poet and activist)

Alice Anderson (1897-1926, owner of Australia’s first all-female garage)

The Birth of Queer Film in Australia

Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras (begun 1978)

HIV/AIDS in Australia (1982 onwards)

The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands (2004-2017)

Hawai’i

Kapaemahu (monument to four māhū healers)

Europe

Albania

Albanian sworn virgins (a traditional custom that allowed someone assigned female at birth to assume a male gender role by taking a vow of chastity)

Finland

Tove Jansson (1914-2001, author and artist)

France

Julie D’Aubigny (c.1670-1707, opera singer and duellist)

Chevalière d’Éon (1728-1810, spy and diplomat)

Rosa Bonheur (1822-1899, artist)

Isadora Duncan (1877-1927, American dancer)

Sylvia Beach (1887-1962, publisher and bookseller)

Josephine Baker (1906-1975, singer, actress, civil rights activist and spy)

Germany (including Prussia)

Hildegard of Bingen (c.1098-1179, nun and polymath)

Frederick the Great (1712-1786, monarch and general)

Baron von Steuben (1730-1794, Inspector General of the US Army)

Gad Beck (1923-2012, activist, WWII resistance member, and Holocaust survivor)

Greece

Achilles and Patroclus (figures from Greek myth)

The Sacred Band of Thebes (military unit made up of male-male couples, 300s BCE)

Ireland

St Brigid (c.450-525, abbess)

Dr. James Barry (1789-1865, surgeon)

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900, poet and playwright)

Italy (including Ancient Rome)

The Warren Cup (ancient Roman cup depicting male-male sex)

Male Sexuality in Ancient Rome

Relationships between women in ancient Rome

Julius Caesar (c.100BCE-44BCE)

Nero (37CE-68CE, Roman emperor)

Sexuality in Pompeii (79CE)

Hadrian and Antinous (Roman emperor 76CE-138CE and his lover c.111CE-130CE)

Harry Crawford (1875-1938, Italian-born trans man tried for murder in Australia)

Netherlands

Willem Arondeus (1894-1943, artist and WWII resistance member)

Poland

Vaslav Nijinsky (1889-1950, ballet dancer and choreographer)

Russia

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky part 1 and part 2 (1840-1893, composer)

Sofya Parnok (1885-1933, poet)

Vaslav Nijinsky (1889-1950, ballet dancer and choreographer)

Spain

Federico García Lorca (1898-1936, playwright and poet)

Sweden

Christina of Sweden (1626-1689, monarch)

Did Swedish people call in gay to work?

UK

Edward II (1284-1327, king of England)

Horace Walpole (1717-1797, antiquarian and man of letters)

Anne Lister and follow-up Christmas special (1791-1840, landowner and diarist)

Mary Shelley (1797-1851, author)

Fanny Park and Stella Boulton (1846-1881, 1847-1904, English transfeminine people tried for homosexuality)

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900, poet and playwright)

The Warren Cup (ancient Roman cup depicting male-male sex, brought to Britain by collector Ned Warren in the early 20th century) 

The Secret Sex Spreadsheets of John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946, economist)

Did Queen Victoria believe in lesbians?

Elke Mackenzie (1911-1990, lichenologist and polar explorer)

Ewan Forbes (1912-1991, doctor and farmer)

Michael Dillon (1915-1962, first trans man to undergo a phalloplasty)

Roberta Cowell (1918-2011, WWII fighter pilot, race-car driver and trans pioneer)

Freddie Mercury (1946-1991, the frontman of rock band, Queen)

Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners (1984-85, activist group)

The Vatican

Pope Joan (c.9th century CE)

Christina of Sweden (1626-1689, monarch)

North America

Crow (Apsáalooke)

Bíawacheeitchish aka Woman Chief (c.1806-1854, warrior and leader)

Osh-Tisch (1854-1929, warrior, craftsperson, and two-spirit batée)

Zuni (A:shiwi)

We’wha (c.1849-1896, craftsperson, ambassador, and two-spirit lhamana)

USA

Queer as Fact meets History is Gay (a conversation about queer slang in Australia and the USA)

Kapaemahu (Hawai’ian monument to four māhū healers)

Baron von Steuben (1730-1794, Inspector General of the US Army)

Charity Bryant and Sylvia Drake (1777-1851, 1784-1868, lived as a married couple)

Bíawacheeitchish aka Woman Chief (c.1806-1854, Crow warrior and leader)

Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888, author of Little Women and other works)

Osh-Tisch (1854-1929, Crow warrior, craftsperson, and two-spirit batée)

We’wha (c.1849-1896, Zuni craftsperson, ambassador, and two-spirit lhamana)

Isadora Duncan (1877-1927, dancer)

Harry Allen (1882-1922, trans man)

Ma Rainey (1886-1939, blues singer)

Lucy Hicks Anderson (1886-1954, cook, socialite and brothel-owner)

Sylvia Beach (1887-1962, publisher and bookseller)

Ruth Ellis (1899-2000, lesbian centenarian)

Henrietta Bingham (1901-1968, jazz-age socialite)

Josephine Baker (1906-1975, singer, actress, civil rights activist and spy)

Gladys Bentley (1907-1960, blues performer)

Samuel Steward (1909-1993, professor of English, tattoo artist and sex researcher)

Pauli Murray parts one and two (1910-1985, lawyer, civil rights activist, priest and poet)

Billy Tipton (1914-1989, jazz musician)

Rosetta Tharpe (1915-1973, gospel singer)

Stormé DeLarverie (1920-2014, drag performer and bouncer)

Harvey Milk (1930-1978, San Francisco politician)

Audre Lorde (1934-1992, activist and writer)

Marsha P. Johnson (1945-1992, drag queen and activist)

Sally Ride (1951-2012, astronaut)

Stonewall (1969 New York riots)

Shelly’s Leg (1970s Seattle gay club)

Asexuals have problems too (1971 Village Voice article)

The Asexual Manifesto (1972 political document)

Gilbert Baker and the Rainbow Flag (first flown 1975)

Friends of Dorothy (gay men in the 1980s US Navy)

Central and South America

Costa Rica

Chavela Vargas (1919-2012, Costa Rican-born Mexican singer)

Mexico

Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz (c.1648-1695, nun, writer and polymath)

Frida Kahlo (1907-1954, artist) and Frida Kahlo’s lost archive

Chavela Vargas (1919-2012, Costa Rican-born Mexican singer)

Peru

Moche sex pots (erotic ceramics from the 2nd to 8th centuries CE)

[ukftm]

I need help. I'm an Aussie trans guy (17) looking for phalloplasty options. I don't think we have any surgeons that do them in Australia. Do you know how I would go about maybe getting it done in the uk, dysphoria is horrible atm. 😬😬😬

You would need to contact St Peter’s Andrology as they are the team who do all lower surgery for trans men in the UK, however, be aware that the cost of lower surgery privately is very expensive.

A quick Google search does turn up a couple of names for surgeons who say they do phalloplasty in Australia, but this could be outdated information by now.  It still might be worth reaching out to more local groups to see whether there are any options within Australia that meet your needs.

~ Alex

[ask-a-ftm]

I have to get counseling so I can start my transition and get surgery. What can I expect at those counseling meetings? Do they get a say in whether I can start T?My ultimate goal in the end is to get top surgery and phalloplasty. Maybe metoidioplasty. Theres still some things I have to research with that.

So in Australia (I'm not sure about other countries) it use to be that you had to get a referral from a psychiatrist first and a lot of places still go by that if you've been told you have to go to counseling then yes they could tell you no but a lot of the time they won't say no outright they'll just slow down the process by making you go to more sessions. I don't know a lot about metoidioplasty but it's really interesting to me

[loadingluke]

6 weeks post stage 3

Hey all, today I am 6 weeks post op stage 3.

Since my last update, I started to struggle with deflating the device. I started to notice that it felt like the device had twisted even more, and that the button was even further in my leg crease and borderline inaccessible. This all came to a head about a week ago, where I was stuck inflated for about an hour and was unable to completely deflate my device as normal and as I had previously. I emailed Dr Goossen and we decided to stop with the cycling as I was seeing him in a few days. I was really stressed that the deflate button was broken or something, and my anxiety proceeded to spiral to that point that just accepted that I will probably need to have another surgery to reposition the pump as the way it was was not really working, or worse, that I’d need my entire device replaced.

On Tuesday I had my 6 week post op checkup back in Brisbane, so I few up for the day. I went in with René and explained the situation, and I pumped up the device as normal. René then went to have a look and tried to deflate the device, and was also struggling. She said she had felt some scar tissue around the button (which is normal as scar tissue forms a capsule around the device as part of the natural healing) but this may be contributing to the issues I was having with deflation. After about 15 minutes of both of us trying our hardest to deflate the device we decided to just leave it until Dr Goossen could have a look.

When Goossen came in to have a look I explained our issues and braced myself as he is often not the most gentle (and I was a little raw from our 15 minutes of attempted deflation). He started to have a feel around the pump and then, like magic, deflated it with zero issues in 2 seconds. René and I both just stared at him amazed and dumbfounded as we have no idea how he managed it so easily when we had been on struggle street not even 5 minutes prior. I inflated the device again and he showed me exactly where to push and where the button was.

TURNS OUT. THIS ENTIRE TIME. I THOUGHT THE PUMP HAD TWISTED 90º TO THE LEFT, AND THAT THE BUTTON WAS IN MY LEG CREASE. WHEN ACTUALLY. THE DEVICE ROTATED TO THE RIGHT. AND THE BUTTON WAS ON THE FRONT, LITERALLY RIGHT THERE, EASY AS TO ACCESS. SO, this entire time, I had been pushing and prodding and squeezing my poor poor left nut in the complete wrong spot, and for no reason at all (see the attached video of the pump bulb to help explain this visually!).

I am assuming that during the earlier stages of healing when I was still a little swollen the button was being pressed even when I was putting pressure on the wrong side because it was able to press against the swelling, but as that has gone down the lack of resistance meant that the pressure on the wrong side wasn’t enough to deflate the device, which is why one day what was working fine suddenly wasn’t sufficient. Either way, once this was all clarified, I had no issue. I deflated and inflated about 4 times to make sure, and then sheepishly thanked Goossen for tolerating my ineptitude. Since then, the pump has been working completely perfectly, and the button is actually super easy to press. So there we go. I stressed out for no reason and all is well😂

Once that was all fixed up, Goossen and I had a little chat about what happens from here. I was given the blessing to go ahead to have sex once I hit 8 weeks, and he told me that he was very happy with how I’ve healed and that I have a beautiful penis (to which I replied with ‘thank you…literally thank you’ 😂). I’ve also been cleared to go back to the gym as of 6 weeks (gently at first of course!) and have been given instructions to continue cycling the device daily until I’m about 6 months post op. We’ve arranged to have a Skype check up in about 10 weeks, and then I’ll pop back up to Brisbane for hopefully my final sign off in the end of July, also around 6 months post op. Hearing that was honestly a tad overwhelming, it’s really hard to believe that I’m all done and that I don’t have to keep coming back, and honestly a little bit of sadness that I’ll not have much of a reason to see Goossen again once I’m all settled- he’s honestly an amazing surgeon and I think I’ll honestly miss him haha.

I did mention that I was concerned about my testicular implant and that aesthetically it’s still sitting a little too high for my liking right now. We’ve decided to not worry about it yet as 1) there is still a lot of swelling and 2) there is still a chance I’ll be able to yank it down over time. He said we can discuss it in July if it’s still something I’m unhappy about, but he was a little hesitant to surgically intervene unless I really insist- as this would require replacing the implant and could pose an infection risk/ could compromise the erectile device and probably wouldn’t be worth the risk. I decided to just keep tugging and then in July if it’s still an issue we can discuss it again then. He seemed optimistic that with some determination and patience that I should be able to shift it, so I’ll keep working on that.

I’m honestly still a little bewildered and shocked that this is all nearly over, after years of waiting to be at this point. Some days I catch myself thinking about and dreading having stage one, only to remember that I’ve already done it and I don’t ever have to do it again. I feel so blessed and happy I made it here, and I’m excited to move forward with my life without having my body holding me back. I’d just like to say thanks to everyone in here for being respectful and supporting me over the last 2 or so years during this process. All the kind words and support have meant a lot and I’ve appreciated it loads.

That’s all I’ve got to say for now, so far so good. I might be a little quiet now that I’m healed up and done with all my surgeries (at least for the time being) but as usual I’m happy to answer questions, and I will of course update if anything of note happens. Until next time 👍

[phalloplastyaustralia]

8.5 weeks post op

Check up today with Gooseman at 8.5 weeks post-op RFF phalloplasty. He was super impressed with how my arm is healing. Everything else is healing well for the most part, besides a few little things. The scar on the underside of my penis has been pretty tight, particularly towards the base. I’ve been aware of this for weeks and have been massaging it with vitamin e and using silicone gel on it, which he wants me to continue doing. He said that the scar around the actual base of my penis is tight as well, which I truly hadn’t given much thought to and assumed it was normal, but that’s because I only have my only experience to base it off, where as he has everyone elses to compare to. He said that the tightness is causing it all to ‘sit a bit high’, which I assume was in reference to my junk that still sits below my penis, including my existing penis. This means that when he pulls my penis up and towards my abdomen, it pulls a lot on my existing penis. This is uncomfortable, BUT it works in my favour when it comes to wanking - I can basically tug gently on my penis and it’s enough to achieve orgasm. At present I will usually alternate between this and stimulating my existing dick, but I do believe I could achieve orgasm by tugging only on my dick, but I’ve still been a bit too anxious to do this, purely due to not wanting to compromise any of the healing process/long-term aesthetic outcome.

My primary concern has been about narrowing at the base, which has consumed a lot of my time the last few weeks. It’s certainly not overly noticeable or significant, but when you’ve forked out as much as I have on a penis, you’ll nitpick the tiniest things. Goossen thinks that the tightening of the incision could be contributing to this, but did acknowledge that I am “less full” and “a bit flatter” at the base, but he’s not concerned about it. Classic. He said that once everything is sitting properly (with implants), as well as when erect, it won’t be an issue. He also mentioned something about the tightness at the base contributing to this? But I don’t remember the specifics. 

He appeared very impressed with where my sensation is at. I had convinced myself that I read somewhere that left donor would result in more sensitivity on the right side, and vice versa. Then I was told that the hook up is done on the left and that I would likely experience more sensation on the left. I asked him about this today (whether the hook up was down on the left) and he didn’t confirm/deny this and explained how they try to hook as many nerves up, etc. and basically that there’s no rule of thumb for where you will or won’t experience certain sensations. He said that typically people will experience one side with more erotic than the other and more tactile on another side. 

At present, I have extremely strong sensation on the right hand side, slightly less strong sensation down the left, about 1.5-2inches along the incision on the underside up from the base at a lesser intensity, and then fairly dull (by dull, I mean I need to apply significantly more pressure to feel the sensation and it’s not as intense) along the top of my penis until about half an inch of so from the tip, where I feel nothing. Along the right side, all I have to do is run my finger very lightly down the shaft to feel this. Along the left snd on the underside I have to apply slightly more pressure. On the top, I’ve experienced the sensation for a few weeks if I flick it, but within the last week I am starting to feel it more if I rub my finger rapidly on it with a little nit of pressure. This is all displaced sensation, which I feel in my existing penis. At present it’s not a pleasant, good, sexy time feeling, but will be once it settles. Currently it feels like someone is stabbing a pin into the head of my existing penis (which iis great if that’s your thing, but I find it unpleasant. However I always do it, as it’s nice being able to make that connection between my penis and my brain and feeling it as something that exists as a part of my body). At present, I have no tactile sensation. However due to the intensity of the sensation I do have, I am very aware if something hits my penis. 

At this stage, I’m booked for February 6th 2020 for stage 2. I had the option of November 21st, but with how close it is to Christmas and the closure period for Goossen and his staff, I chose to push it back. If I were to experience and issues with the hookup, I would go home with an SPC over Christmas until he returns. And as ridiculous as it might sound to some, I really wanna be able to swim over the summer. This also gives me some additional time to recover from stage 1 and for any issues with the scar tightness to settle as much as possible. As well as get back in shape after my stage 1 sedentary life and subsequent weight gain, and save a bit of extra money. As much as I want stage 2 as soon as possible, I think that this is the most sensible thing to do for numerous reasons. I figure that I’ve waited this long, I’m sure I can wait an extra 2 months. 

I’m back up to see him again at the end of September to check on everything again, and I presume I’ll head back up again early 2020 to check everything before we go ahead with stage 2. 

I am also allowed to run now, provided that everything is “packed firmly” and “well supported”.

I have a little ‘bobble’ sorta thing at the end of one of the incisions on my butt, which has been rather tender and painful. Goossen said it could be a stitch or scar tissue, and if it doesn’t resolve itself by the time I have stage 2, he will revise it. Butt is still tender when seated for long periods and/or bad seating. Still some tightness in the backs of my legs, but nothing that is too bothersome. 

My arm is hopefully on the homestretch. I’m still dressing it with MepitelOne, and will continue to do so until I’m fully healed and can switch to silicone sheets. The few little problem areas look like they have improved since Thursday when the dressings were last changed. Fingers crossed that when I go back to the hand therapist next week, I’ll either be healed enough to go dressing free, or very close to it. I try to touch it quite regularly over the top of the dressings (rubbing, patting, scratching, etc. to adjust to the sensation). 

As a bit of a related sidebar, I kinda wanted to touch on the arm and the scarring, etc. The significance of the arm graft was something that I had a really hard time swallowing when I first looked at RFF a good decade or so ago. Despite being a weird body part to like, my forearms are probably the only part of my body I do like, and the thought of altering one of them so drastically always terrified me. Because most of the information about RFF has typically been out of the states, I had no idea that the donor site would be replaced with a full thickness from the butt until my consult (why the states haven’t caught up yet is beyond me, truly). Despite already having made the decision to have RFF, this was a game changer for me. And honestly, if I didn’t have tattoos that were compromised when the flap was lifted that make it very obvious that my arm has undergone a major surgical procedure, I don’t think the end result would bother me much at all. It sits SO FLUSH that once my wrist swelling goes down, it will be totally seamless. I know that the conspicuous scarring is a huge deterrent for a lot of people, and I very much understand that, but I think it’s important that people understand that what you see online from guys in the states is NOT what your arm will look like if you have surgery with Goossen. I’m not here to shame or make comments about peoples choices to pursue ALT, abdominal, meta or any other alternative procedure, but I think it’s important that people aren’t scared off by misinformation. This is not to say that guys who have had RFF in the states have lesser or subpar results as due to the use of the split thickness.

TLDR; healing well, few super minor relatively non-issue things that will hopefully sort themselves out, arm looks great, sensation is great, Dr Goossen is the love of my life, shoutout to the under appreciated but equally amazing and skilled Dr Ingram, life with a (bigger) penis is wild and worth every cent, stage 2 booked for Feb 6th 2020, don’t take everything you see on the internet as bible. Gravy.

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[santandreas]

Another Transgender Journey

https://freedom2b.org/forums/andrew-ftm-transgender-t329/

Preface:

My religious experience is of the Anglo-Catholic Church in England, Baptist, Church of Christ, and Salvation Army; the High Church of England, in Australia. Converting to Catholicism with my husband in the early 1980’s and now a fringe dweller of the Ecumenical Catholic Church of Australia – a church conceived and birthed by gay Roman Catholic men and women in the US, Britain and Australia.

Hello, my name is Andrew and I have come through Transition from Female to Male achieving a full Legal Transition in February 2002, in May 2003 my wife and I were able to get married in a church.

Born in 1954 into Post war England I appeared to be a girl child and they named me Anne after the Princess. I have another brother and a sister.

Initially I was not conscious of my gender but saw myself as male, as though there was no question that the missing article wouldn’t suddenly appear. When I began High School at age 11 I remember that I was pleased to be attending a high school where everyone wore a tie because it made me feel better about the box pleat skirt and I had managed to prevail upon my mother to buy me boys elastic sided boots and these two made me pleased for a time.

Well, when my innards began to follow the cycle of the Moon I became undone because, quite suddenly I knew what gender is and that I didn’t have the right outside to my inside.

In November 1966 our parents decided it would be better for all of us if we came to live in Australia since a recession was verging and the coalminers in the midlands were on strike with their wives coming to our small shop for credit – mum and dad were slowly going broke.

I remember the intrusive trips to Australia House& NSW House and, for a time, forgot my worries – I seemed to have the knack of putting my cares into or out of a safe place whenever I needed to. It wasn’t until 1968 that every thing suddenly thrust itself to the surface of my mind and the door slammed on the safe place and I had to begin to deal with ‘it’.

The year previously I had had my first few status epilepticus episodes, (to lead to bipolar affective disorder at aged 17) and then I had come to Christ during a Crusade led by one of the then local evangelists, giving my life to the Lord Jesus seemed on the one hand to provide a rock and on the other began my questioning and pleading of God as to why he had called me to be Christian and made me a lesbian – I thought. I believed myself to be a whole person a person not defined by having sex with anyone but by being me – for that time, a woman who loved women. I spent my 15th year looking for loop holes in the Book of Leviticus to find a way I could be myself fully and escape the fires of hell. At 18 I sought out an older man in our Youth Group at Matraville Baptist Church engaged myself to him and propelled him to the altar. The idea of having sex with a man was repulsive and scared the h* out of me. I reasoned that provided I did what was expected of me I might be OK.

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28th August 1972, left to right: Howard Bennett, Joan Bennett, #Brewer, Anne Brewer, Susan Bennett.

Anne and baby David September 1973

David Simon, in hat and Anne catching a small lizard of some ilk

By February 1975 we had two Sons and at the end of the 1980s it got so that I could not keep the fear of difference within myself and I began to look for sympathetic pastors and priests to give me guidance.I was unable to find any in the Baptist Church though an evangelist did exorcise me, to no avail.

Some while after we converted to big ‘C’ Catholicism, I came out to my family and my husband wouldn’t accept it at first because of the “existence of the boys”, the usual response is that we cannot be gay or lesbian if we have slept with a member of the opposite sex.

They all came to accept it but not like it. At church they were quite happy to let me carry on teaching Scripture and being a Lector on Sundays and week days. I had a friend say to me that she had never heard of a Christian becoming gay…

My Bipolar affective  disorder  got to be very bad by the early 90s, even the antipsychotics didn’t help and the epilepsy was still out of control. I just couldn’t manage the continuing saga in my Soul, as fast as I coped with one thing another popped itself up. Frustrated with my unresponsiveness to the Antiepileptic drugs I quit them cold turkey and went to visit a Naturopath. The herbs didn’t help at all and the hallucinations were the worst I had until February this year.

I was Manic for three months and eventually found the right psychiatrist thanks to Catholic Family Life Centre, from where the counsellor referred me to one of three really wonderful psychiatrists who, between them, were to provide me with a Psychiatric Report to allow me to begin Transition. I began in February 1997. I had been Crossdressing for at least three years and I remember the grin the doctor had on his face when I finally admitted that I knew I was Male. He said “Go out and do it”

Just prior to this God gifted me a wonderful priest who found out about ‘Acceptance Sydney’ a Group for GLTBQI Catholics, and arranged for one of the gay Acolytes to drive me there and back again. It was in this safe haven that I completed my transitioning, the guys there named me Andy and so I took the name Andrew at my first Name Change.

I had entered Wollongong Uni to do a BA in Psychology & Philosophy; it was in the Module called ‘Changes through the Human Lifetime’ that I learnt most of what I know about the Psychology and Neurophysiology of human sexuality and gender. I entered there in 1995 as Mrs Anne Brewer and left there in 1998 as Mr Andrew Brewer.; Graduating as Andrew James Blair the following year. I met my wife, Jessica at the Gender Centre, just before the transgender Ball & since neither of us had a partner we went together, that night I nearly lost her because I spent a lot of time talking with some of the guys.

By New Years 1999 we were engaged, I proposed at the Sydney PRIDE New Years Eve Party, on July 15th 1999 I received my Decree Nisi – Mr A Brewer versus Mr J Brewer and on the 16th we went to Births Deaths & Marriages to change my name again, this time to Andrew James Blair.

Jessica is the Blair and the nearest we could come to marriage then, was for one of us to change our name – it was cheaper for me to do so than Jessica, maiden names cause a bit of a problem because for us both to revert to it would have cost $166.00, the family didn’t want a Jessica Brewer and my Mother didn’t want a Jessica Bennett so I became a Blair. ($83.00) Ho hum money

August 21st brought us to the Wayside Chapel of the Good Shepherd where the Pastor led us to pledge ourselves to Holy Union. We were living in Darlinghurst at the time and attended the Wayside chapel because we both volunteered there, me as a Phone Counsellor. By this time I no longer discriminated between denominations but went where we were happy to be with those who wanted us there.

November 2001 saw me completely through surgery – the part I could afford – the little bit extra now costs about $200,000, hence I obtained a Legal Transition.

Obtaining my final and complete identity as male I did my final round of ID changes with

Name Change Certificate,

Birth Certificate, Wedding Certificates,

Divorce Papers + letters from doctors attesting that I had completed the necessary legal and surgical steps for Male-hood.

  At the beginning of 2002 the laws defining male-hood and marriage were revised to allow ftm males without’ phalloplasty’ to marry.( women) Jessica’s Medico-legal transition had been completed in 1997 & so we couldn’t legally Wed then because we were roughly the same sex.

Once the new laws of 2002 redefined Male-hood we approached our then Anglican Rector & asked him to do so but he was loathe to, being himself a gay man he didn’t want to rattle the Sydney Clergy.

In the meantime, a gay friend of mine, from Acceptance days invited me to his Ordination to the Diaconate – he was to become a Deacon in the Ecumenical Catholic church of Australia.

The Bishop agreed to marry us on 31st May 2003; I think we were the first doubly transsexual couple to marry in NSW, after the landmark Kevin & Jennifer case that made it all possible.

Today I have 4 grand children whom I am forbidden to see, though my younger son, who is gay, & his partner visit us from time to time. Neither my brother – a Baptist Minister, nor my Sister a founder of a strict Baptist Congregation in Queensland, will have anything to do with either of us.( Things have since improved on the home Front)

My uncle & aunt in New Zealand, who are not believers, have no issues with us.

  Andrew

  Chris Knight. 2017. Andrew FTM transgender | Forums | freedom2b. [ONLINE] Available at: https://freedom2b.org/forums/andrew-ftm-transgender-t329/. [Accessed 30 August 2017]

One of my Transgender Journeys-30 August 2017 Another Transgender Journey Preface: My religious experience is of the Anglo-Catholic Church in England, Baptist, Church of Christ, and Salvation Army; the High Church of England, in Australia.