#phil lester king of 'fuck them kids'

[ahappydnp]

btw i am still adding to the 'dan and phil saying i love you to their audience' spreadsheet (x) if anyone is interested

(also my edit :3)

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Popular!Phil Masterlist

Baby, They Ain’t Got A Clue (ao3) - cafephan

Summary: Dan, the shy new kid in school, is asked to prom, but his date stands him up. Phil, the popular outgoing kid in school, is stood up by his date too.

Beauty And The Geek - amazingdanielhowell

Summary: Dan and Phil are both fairly popular but in different clicks and the school ships them.

Blue-eyed Hottie - helloanonymouswriter

Summary: Everyday after school the ‘Blue-eyed Hottie’ stands outside and waits then gets a text before leaving again. Everyone in school fancies him and wonders who texts him every time.

Dance With Me - cocktailaunt

Summary: Popular!Phil wants to ask Shy!Dan to the school dance.

F L I R T (wattpad) - danandphilgaymes

Summary: Phil is popular: president of his fraternity, shortstop of the baseball team, he’s got it all figured out. But when Phil meets Dan, a flamboyant freshman in the theatre department, everything changes. Despite warnings from their friends, Dan and Phil can’t stay away from each other, but when these two worlds come crashing together, can they find a balance or will their differences pull them apart forever?

How Did I Survive So Long Without You (ao3) - Wholeheartedly755

Summary: Daniel Howell is a shy incoming Year 10 student to his town's secondary school, his mother is a single alcoholic who is verbally and physically abusive to her son. To Dan school is his escape, but starting a new secondary school is most definitely a scary prospect, but he hopes he can make the best of it and to hopefully make a friend.

Phil Lester is a very attractive Year 13 student who hates the attention he gets from all the girls at his school.

When Dan realizes he has the locker right next to the most attractive guy at school, and Phil sees the beautiful, shy Dan walking towards him, who knows what could happen.

Follow these two as they battle through the ups and downs of school together.

Imagine Living Like a King Someday - pianodan

Summary: Phil is a boarding school student, and he has pretty much everything. His dad owns the school, he’s pretty popular, has the best room, gets all the best treatment – he’s the King. Dan is a cleaner/phil’s personal maid there, and he isn’t as lucky. Some students are assholes to Dan, including Phil at first.

Lungs Filled With Flowers - botanistlester

Summary: Whenever Dan has a bad day, he always knows that Animal Crossing will be there for him no matter what. When he finds a friend code written on his desk, he immediately adds it into his DS, despite not knowing who it could be.

My Tunnel Loves a Deepthroat (ao3) - Iceprincessvictuuri (orphan_account)

Summary: Pastel!Dan had been trying to get Jock!Phils attention for the longest time.

Run Gay Boy Run (wattpad) - nopretendingnow

Summary: Phil’s a bad ass popular who’s kinda homophobic and Dan is a nerdy runner with more on his plate than everyone assumes.

The Heat Of The Water And The Heat Of Our Souls (ao3) - kuwuromi (aphrodeity)

Summary: Dan and Phil have been best friends for as long as either of them can remember. One night in a jacuzzi changes the entire dynamic of their relationship, starting with some fond memories of the past.

This Must Be Fake - amazingphilstolemyblog

Summary: basically loner!loser!dan has a huge crush on popular!soccercaptain!phil and basically from teenagers to adults. of course, some of the lyrics are changed to fit around this fic ( and this day and age ).

Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil Lester is a bubbly, popular boy. Dan Howell is an angsty, emo teenager. They fuck in the nurse's office. Enjoy.

Took Me (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: In which Dan decides kidnapping Phil is a great idea.

[popculturebuffet]

Static Shock: Shock to the System and Aftershock Review

“You know what? 13 years ago, me and some friends sat in a restaurant all night and daydreamed about the kinds of stories we would tell if we had the chance. We wanted to expand the concept of superhero to include characters that kind of looked like us, who had some of the same background, experiences and dreams as we did. We wanted to create something fun that a new generation would respond to the same way we responded to our childhood heroes -and damn if we didn't succeed beyond my wildest dreams. Today, Static Shock is a household name with millions of fans of all ages (Is there stuff I'd do differently? Yeah, almost all of season four but why nitpick?) Static is the most successful thing I've ever helped create and I'm both proud and gratified that people have taken it into their hearts. “ 

Dwayne McDuffie, Co-Creator of Static and Writer for Static Shock

This review is dedicated to Dwayne McDuffie and Robert L. Washington III.                                                        Rest In Power Static Shock is awesome. I grew up with the show watching it both first run on the WB and second run on Cartoon Network and loved it as much as I did other large parts of my childhood courtsey of DC like Batman the Animated Series, Teen Titans and both Justice League Shows. What makes this unique among the DC Properties is that Static wasn’t really a big name when he got a show. He wasn’t even part of the DC Universe. 

See as I had no idea for probably a good decade, Static actually came from Milestone Comics, a company ran by and focused on african americans. The goal was understandable: While black heroes existed at the time, and there were some fantastic ones like Storm, Jim Rhodes and Steel... these guys weren’t the center of their universes. The big faces of the big  companies, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Hulk, Iron Man, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash.. were white. So milestone was a shakeup of that with the main teams and heroes all being black, from Icon, an alien who’d lived among man but rather than end up in kansas like say superman ended up imprinting on a slave woman centuries ago and has been with us since, who was encouraged by an energetic teenager named Rocket to put on a costume and do something with his powers and his community, Hardware, a tech genius who had his work stolen by a white asshole and wanted to fight back and BLood Syndicate, a group of gang members all caught in the “The Big Bang”, a huge fight between all of Dakota, the midwest city where the comics take place, that ended when the police released a bunch of experimental gas that gave them all super powers. 

As most of you who have watched the show already know, this is where Static comes from. Static was the company making their own Spider-Man, i.e. a nerdy teenager who suddenly gets super powers, in this case Virgil Hawkins who at the prodding of a friend took a gun to The Big Bang to get revenge on a bully. .but ultimately couldn’t go through with it, decided it wasn’t him and got rid of the gun and ran.. and still ended up in it, becoming Static, a young hero dedicated to using his powers to fight other “Bang Babies”.. a term that dosen’t really sound that great and they really should’ve thought through. But Phrasing aside the character was great and I look forward to reading more and only haven’t because I have to buy the issues gradually, but DC is currently re-releasing the individual issues of Static, Icon, and Hardware weekly in anticipation of a reboot of Milestone Coming in May digitally on Comixology at only 2 bucks a pop, and rereleased the original print collections that were long out of print for 10 bucks each, though i’m getting static on it’s own since i’ts really not that much less expensive as it only collects four issues while Icon and Hardware both collect 8, so I can wait a bit there on Hardware and already own Icon: A Hero’s Welcome.. and really need to review it at some point. 

While Milestone’s output was good, at least from the two books i’ve read, with Robert Washinton III, who sadly not only ahs also passed but was fucking homeless for a while  in the 2000′s.. what the actual hell, writing Static alongside Dwayne McDuffie, whose later moved onto animation writing tons of Static episodes all of them classics including the school shooting episode, the first three rubberbandman episodes and both Anasazi episodes. Point is it had good writers and artists and even had a distrbution deal with DC, so they had a leg up on the glut of other comic book companies.. but happened to start at the start of the comic book crash, a huge downturn in sales in the 90′s as the speculator boom, i.e. a bunch of people assuming every number one would be worth golden and silver age money, forgetting a character has to BUILD INTREST and this stuff takes time, and whose attempts to sell fast flooded the market with comics no one wanted,, caused the roof to cave in and with a bunch of assholes pegging milestone as a “Company for black people” rather than you know, a company trying to add fucking diversity and represntation to the comics industry, and that simply wanted a unvierse that was centered around people of color instead of white guys. The company eventually had to shut down, and was left to lisencing.  This is where the show comes in. Producers HAD been trying to make shows based on Milestone for a while, as far back as the mid-90s and the company was was all for it but the closest it got was an x-men style team series using various characters whose first draft was terrible and whose second draft by Alan Burnett, a producer on various DC Animated shows who’d go on to produce Static Shock, that McDuffie and others really liked but sadly did not get picked up. eventually though with presistance Static ended up getting a series and as I said McDuffie went on to write for it though he did not develop it. Some changes went into place naturally to make it work for an early 2000′s kids show and while i’ll probably miss so since again, only read one issue as we go. But due to Milestone coming back my intrest was peaking, hence finally reading the copy of Icon I had to buy from the library years ago due to keeping it overdue but am now EXTREMLEY glad I own as i’ts incredibly rare and really damn good, and wanting to read static, doing so lately since it’s finally on digtiial and again not too expensive. So join me as I give you a shock to the system and revisit this hell of a series to see if it holds up.. which just to cut that short it does and i’m only holding off binging MORE because I want the first two eps to be fresh enough in my head to review properly.. and also go over the various voice actors because that’s a thing with me now and charcter co-creator dwayne mcduffie because he’s awesome. 

As I like to do when covering a series first episodes, let’s run down the voice cast. 

First up is an UTTER LEGEND, and I use the term voice acting legend a lot, and mean it every time and have good reason to use it when I say it, and Phil LaMarr is a GOD in the buisness, having done a metric ton of voice acting roles, and being easily the most proflific black voice actor in animation. He’s also done some acting work, mostly in pulp fiction which I have not seen, but his true staying power and talent is in animation so here’s just the roles I feel are most notable or may not be very notable but i’m bringing up anyway because it’s my list. 

His roles besides Virgil include Lester Payton the Texas Ranger who showed up for one very good episode of king of the hill to be badass and show up the hickish, stupid and very punchable local Sheriff, Gearld’s obnoxious older brother Jamie O on Hey Arnold, Hermes Conrad from futurama, Carver from the Weekenders (PUT IT ON PLUS DISNEY), Axel Foley for exactly one bit in Clerks the Animated Series, but anyone whose seen it will know exactly which one, Micheal on the Proud Family, Black Vulcan on Harvey Birdman (In His Pants), Hector Con Carne and Dracula on Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and Evil Con Carne, Jack on Samurai Jack something I didn’t know for decades (and I didn’t know about the carver thing till today though i’ts obvious in hindsight), John Motherfucking Stewart on Justice League and later Steel and Adult Static in the Unlimited seasons, Osmosis Jones on Ozzy and Drix, Bolbi Strogofski on Jimmy Neutron (And yes i’m just as shocked as you are.), Wilt on Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Marcus on Life and Times of Juniper Lee, Bull Sharkowski on My Gym Partner is A Monkey and Also a Sociopath Please Help God My Life is a waking nightmare..... okay the rest of that title is implied but we all watched the same show, we all know in our hearts that was the title

Moving on, he was also, and yes there’s MORE: Maxie Zeus on The Batman, Philly Phil on Class of 3000, Both Robertsons AND Fancy Dan on the Spectacular Spider-Man, Jazz on Transformers Animated, Kit Fisto and Bail Organa on Star Wars the Clone Wars, Gambit and Bolivar Trask on Wolverine and the X-Men, Aquaman I, L-Ron and Green Beetle on Young Justice, J.A.R.V.I.S. and Wonder Man (Simon Williams) In Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Gabe and Carny on Kaijudo: Rise of the Duel Masters (Really miss that game and have been snapping up what cards I can get lately), Baxter Stockman in the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (And there’s also an awesome photo of him with 2003 Baxter... the two best together in one place. I got chills), Dormammu (I’ve come to bargin) in various Marvel Shows, Noville in Mighty Magiswords, Zach’s dad Marcus in Milo Muprhy’s Law, Craig’s Douchey Brother Benard on Craig of the Creek, showing he’s clearly come full circle, And Mr. Scully on the Casagrndes. And given It took about two paragraphs to cover all of this, yeah, I MEANT legend. 

Next we have Kevin Micheal Richardson as Virgil’s Dad Robert, and it’s the first time since I started introducing Voice Actors on a show that i’ve overlapped. I already covered him during the second episode of legend of the three caballeros, but for the short version he’s also very acomplished, very damn good and I somehow missed he played the old blind guy in hey arnold> Needless to say the dude is awesome. 

Virgil’s Sister Sharon is played by Michele Morgan who was in the rap group BWP and did some smaller roles outside of this the one exception being Juicy on the PJ’s, which I have not watched much of but REALLY do not like, though i’ll at least give it credit for being a decently long lasted black claymation sitcom at at time when there were, and hoenstly still aren’t, many black animated shows. 

Back to long casting sheets, next up is Jason Marsden, who is one of my faviorites as i’ve realized recently as Ritchie. As I also found out only recently he started on the Sitcom Step By Step and while that show is .. ehhhhhhhhh, he is great in it because he’s great in everything. He also apparently has his own internet variety show which I have to watch now. His roles include Max Goof, ironically given I was just talking about that role a few days ago, Haku in the english dub of Spirted Away, Micheal, the kid being yelled at by a bunch of 80′s cartoons characters not to take drugs in Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue!, Nermal in the DTV Garfield movies and The Garfield Show, Tino on the Weekenders (SERIOUSLY DISNEY), Snapper Carr on Justice League, Rikochet on Mucha Lucha! for the last season (Why I do not knkow and while I love the guy he was not the right choice), Felix on Kim Possible, Chase Young on Xiaolin Showdown (WHich I did not realize was him and now I do easily his best role and I REALLY should’ve), Red Star and Billy Numerous on Teen Titans, Speedy on Batman Brave and the Bold, Impulse/Kid Flash II on Young Justice, and Fingers on Kaijudo. He hasn’t done as much lately which is a shame but hopefully i’tll pick up again. 

Next up is Hotstreak, Virgil’s brutal bully turned unhinted pyromancer played by DANIEL COOKSY, another actor i’m happy to talk about and another faviorite I haven’t seen much of lately. Daniel was an actor from childhood, playing Budnick on Salute Your Shorts, but he quickly gained a long and storied catalogue of VA Work: His first big roll was as Montana Max on Tiny Toon Adventures and if there is a god he’ll be back for the reboot, Stoop Kid on Hey Arnold, the incomprable Jack Spicer on Xiaolin Showdown, far and away his best role and part of why Chronicles sucked so bad was he was he didn’t get to reprise the role, The titular Dave the Barbarian, Django of the Dead on El Tigre (Had no idea), Kicks utterly insufferable big Brother Brad on Kick Buttowski and apparently he’s back at it again after laying low for a bit as he’s voicing Snag in Long Gone Gultch.. which I already really needed to watch but hot damn, I missed him. Sign me up. 

Frieda, Virgil’s crush and close friend who in the comics was his main confidante and love intrest but here is eventually pushed aside, is voiced by Danica Mckeller whose work didn’t seem all that familiar.. until I found out she was Ms. Martian on Young Justice. Hello, Megan. Very talented and she did get a major role in a dc show eventually so good for her. Can’t wait for season 4. 

So with our major players out of the way,  let’s talk about Dwayne. McDuffie is an AWESOME man and my respect has grown for him more and more with time. A writer and editor at Marvel, McDuffie has a decent resume doing smaller but awesome books, which I got most of for free last year when Marvel was giving out free digital collections due to the lock down, like Damage Control, a sitcom set in the marvel universe about the company that picks up after superhero battles and the logistics and antics that insue and Dethlok, about a pacfist trapped inside a cyborg zombie. He was as mentioned one of Milestone’s founders, and wrote Icon, Hardware and co-wrote the first few issues of Static. He’d go on to a pretty stacked career in animation, writing on this show and Justice League before becoming  story editor and show runner for Unlimited , even making a return to comics as a result writing the Marvel miniseries beyond and an arc of Fantastic Four in which Black Panther and Storm filled in for Reed and Sue while the two of them worked on their marriage after Reed did.. pretty much everything he did in Civil War. He also became head writer and show runner for Ben 10: Alien Force and Ultimate Alien, revamping the franchise a bit, and Alien Force, at least the first two seasons are awesome and I feel people overreacted on the changes. Ultimate Alien is okay, but has it’s problems but the finale was awesome and left the man’s legacy on a high note.. as he sadly passed in 2011 due to heart complications. He is truly missed and produced some utterly amazing stuff whlie he was alive. So on that melacholy note let’s see what happens when his creation hits the tv screen shall we?

Shock to the System:

This episode is written by Christopher Simmons, who is apparently a huge art designer guy.. but i’m not sure that’s the same chirsptoher simmons. Much more notable is the writer of the episode after this Stan Berkowitz, who was showrunner for season 1 and has done a LOT of DCAU work and is suprising talent, having written a lot of awesome Justice League episodes including Secret Society and The Royal Flush One. Point is we’re in first class hands.  Before the episode itself I want to talk about the intro and how it’s unique among DCAU shows. Like most Western Animation the intros for DCAU shows didn’t change much over the seasons with the most I can see is JLU changing up the footage to preview the current episode and later adding Hawkgirl to the intro after her return to the team. I THINK superman the animated series changed some of it’s footage too, but I can’t confrim it and may of just been imagining it. As i’ve talked about on my blog it’s normally a pet peeve of mine, mostly because shows you know, change after season 1, characters get added some one shot characters used for the intro never return, and after a while it can feel dated especially in more recent shows where the status quo is not at all set in stone and things change quite a bit. But sometimes it can be good enough that either the dated elements don’t matter or general enough that you don’t need to change it and i’ts just that good.. and given Batman the Animated Series has both in spades, you can see why i’ts probably my golden standard for intros and after superman the animated series DC mostly followed suit. But being part of the teen superhero boom of the 2000′s Static is unique in that it splits the diffrence: It’s intro gets the character across perfectly like a good intro should starting with Virgil getting out of bed and running a comb across his head before showing off to his sister to bug her and literally running into his dad who hand shim his bag and smiles, silently showing off his family. He then runs to school and runs into some trouble.. and said trouble changes for each intro, with Rubberband Man for season 1, Kanga (Whose name I only know because I happened to run across it) for season 2 and your guess is as good as mine for seasons 3 and 4, though Hotstreak is a constant. They still save some money for seasons 1 and 2 by recycling some animation.. but that’s alright with mea s it was good animation, and the improtant thing is cycling out old villians for new ones, while Season 3 is the only out and out redo to show off Richie taking on the Gear identity, adding about 10 seconds of intro to let him show off.  Seriously it’s an utterly great intro and like the other DCAU intros outside of superman, stuck in my brain. 

The other change that’s ENTIRELY diffrent from the rest of htem is that the music changes each time. The first two have the same formula just with a difrent vocalist and backing track: a superhero theme but with some hip hop beat boxing over it. The first intro is fine enough, not specattcular but stilll god. The second song.. is eh. Not really great and feels like a marked downgrade from season 1 and just dosen’t blend an ocrehstiral superhero theme with the beatbox elements NEARLY as well. The third song though is my faviorite.. even if I HATED Little Romeo as a  kid because I really did not like his nick show, it’s more a straight up rap song, but it has a faster beat that fits the intro better, and Romeo’s bragging fits Virgil’s character and penchant for Spidey quips perfectly. I also find it ironic that the theme that blends in with the dcau the most, the first season’s, is the one from BEFORE they decided to put it in the same universe. Still this season’s intro slaps, I just like the LIttle Romeo one a bit more.  The opening scene is picture perfect. Some masked crooks looting a warehouse are loading some stolen TV’s into a van when suddenly the lights come on one by one above one of the crooks before his tv switches to various channels before going haywire. Cue our heroes’ entrance. Let’s tak ea good look at him

Static’s Costume is awesome. While I prefer the season 3 redesign, and clearly DC agrees as the redeisgn was used for both pre and post new-52 when they used him, and while he’s getting a fresh design for the reboot, said design takes a lot of cures from said outfit. As for how the outfit differs from the comics itself  this is the design he had in the comics

It didn’t change much from the first issue, with the exception of his now iconic big puffy jacket which was added pretty early into the character’s history but I was unaware of that and just assumed he had the bodysuit the whole time. The more you know. But as you can see outside of the cool puffy jacket over a costume the two couldn’t be more diffrent. While the Dakotaverse outfit is more a standard superhero outfit, with some regular clothes touches on top the first cartoon outfit comes off more realistic, looking fantastic, but still coming off as something two teenagers could realistically have thrown together with what clothes they could buy, while still looking awesomely superheroy. IN short it’s perfect and only topped by the season 3 onward look...

But the slicker look, with an even cooler jakcet and the new colors all fitting the lighting ascetic better, but fits: not only has Virgil come along farther since he started, but with Richie now having a genius brain as Gear, he can provide a far slicker, far more professional superhero outfit on the budget the two have.  This show is just great  at costume design. 

So getting back to the episode at hand, Static puts up a huge sign in elecrticy saying “Bad guys here”, PFFFT, and then hides away and narrates that a few days ago he’d be the last person anyone would’ve expected to be a hero. Cue Flashback. 

We meet Virgil Hawkins on an average day: rapping into his razor, getting into a petty argument with his older sister Sharon, as a younger brother myself I relate to this, and talking to his dad who tries to get them to cut that out. We find out his mom has passed via his sister making really terrible eggs and saying that’s how mom made them. Exposition! Though we do get a great bit through this as when his sister gets distracted by her boyfriend calling, he uses the opportunity of her leaving the room to dump the eggs.. after having earlier jokingly prayed to his mom for a way out of breakfast. “Thanks for looking out for me mom” That’s both very sweet and very hilarious. 

This is a change from the comics it turns out as I was utterly flored to find Virgil’s mom alive and well when reading the first issue of Static. Turns out this was a change made during development and one Dwane McDuffie admitted in the interview I got the tribute quote from to not liking as he had a good reason for having Virgil have a nuclear family, as most black families in media at the time were just one single parent and a kid or two with the other having either left or died. He wasn’t too bothered by it as while he preferred what he came up with in the first place, the show DID get some really good stories out of her being gone and didn’t just have her be absent because shut up. Virgil is still working over her death and the way HOW she died ends up playing an important role in this episode and gives Virgil a dislike of guns, as she died to gang violence. So the change wasn’t for stupid or racist reasons, but likely both to keep the character count down while giving them something to work with for storylines. Or it could’ve been for stupid reasons and the writers simpily made lemonade out of that very dumb lemon, either way it ended up working.  Virgil also plans to ask his friend Frieda out. Frieda was a bigger deal in the comics, being Virgil’s friend and confidante as well as his ocasional love intrest, but here while she was inteded to at least be his love intrest here, that sorta fizzled out. As for the best friend role we meet her replacement in Richie, which McDuffie conceded was the kind of change a studio would make swapping out a female character for a male one. That being said the crew made the best of it and Richie is awesome, a bit of an overcompensating dipstick at times, but a good sounding board and pal for virgil and funny as hell too. He was also gay, something only revealed post series by McDuffie.. but unlike say Dumbledore, it’s a bit easier to swallow here: The early 2000′s were an even worse time for gay characters in tv let alone cartoons, and if they couldn’t kiss or have sex scenes on regular tv, there was no way we were getting any representation in a children’s show. So it was largely just hinted at by Richie overcompensating in how “into girls” he was and i’m once again fine with this being word of god as it was literally the best they could do and his counterpart in the comics was also gay, if not as relevant.  Ritch encourages Virgil to work on his opening to ask her out as it’s awkward as heck, hits a bit close to home.. but I do appricate the show just .. having him try and ask her out from the first episode. They likely would’ve drug thigns out a bit granted had they used Frieda more, i’m not blind to the convetions of the time. .but as someone who got the very wrong idea from tv that just waiting around meant a girl would like you eventually, when no you need to actually try even if rejection happens, I honestly wish we had more of this in media than the other garbage morals at the time. 

So he prepares to , not helped by her mentioning guy after guy is asking her out.... but before he can F-Stop, the future hotstreak, shows up.  F-STOP

That being said...... it’s not as bad as the original gangster name for the comic’s version, Biz Money B. Yes BIZ MONEY B

So yeah while F-Stop is no more intimidating, it at least means I can stop laughing. Francis, because I can’t type F-Stop without laughing and this review is already behind, shoves Virgil out of the way and agressively hits on Frieda, even saying “you smell good”, the international sign your a douchebag and also to call the police. Virgil steps up to the guy and gets PAINFULLY slammed into the lockers, something I give the animation team a lot of credit for, as you can FEEL how fucking painful that was. Virgil is saved by Wade, another local gangbanger who in the comics was a close friend of Virgils but here saves him seemingly just because.. seemingly. 

On the way home though Virg’s problems don’t end as naturally, the giant sized asshole with nothing better to do has his goons corner virgil before VIOLENTLY beating him.. off screen but the noises, and the clear brusies including a black eye, on virgil afterwords.. just holy damn i’m suprsied they got away with this but it shows just how horrifing it was and that this is a step above regular bullying, which make no mistake is absoluttley terrible and the series would later do an episode on it and school shootings, into straight up gang violence. Wade shows up again and gets the bastards to flee.. but also makes it clear he can’t keep doing this.. and forces Virgil to meet him at his base under the bridge. And it’s a tense sequence, with Virgil KNOWING this is a bad idea but having no real choice and Wade making it abundantly clear that he wants Virgil to join his crew, and makes a chilling point: while Virgils dad RIGHTFULLY dosen’t want his son to join a gang as Virgil points out.. he can’t be there for him all the time and eventually one of those times, Francis will be around. And he may not surivive that. Virgil nods noncomittaly.  At home it gets even more grim as he dosen’t open up to his family, understandably as his dad would jsut say to call the police and well.. we’ve seen how the police treat black people. At best they’d just try and use Virgil as an informant and that likely wouldn’t end fucking well for Virgil. Ritchie points out he can’t join a gang, virgil’s mom died that way.. see told you it’d be important to the plot.. but I like how the story dosen’t offer an easy answer.. well okay he gets electric powers soon enough but without the fantastic element this is just an innocent kid caught between either joining the very thing his mom hated or hoping a system not built to protect him will keep him alive. It’s utterly saddening and chilling and holy shit is it amazing a cartoon in the early 2000′s was able to get away with.. ANY OF THIS, and they handle it great, paired down a bit from the comics but even then it’s still incredibly balsy they got THIS much in. 

Naturally Wade calls in his favor and our hero is forced to come running.. and soon finds out Wade’s brought him in for a massive gang war. Welcome to the big bang, baby. He hands Virgil a gun as things get started and Virgil.. drops the thing and tries to escape, in a harrowing sequence.. and runs into Francis because god apparently REALLY hates this kid today. As if to prove that the police show up and while that prevents a beating, they demand they disassemble. then release untested gas on them because of course they do. 

As a result the big bang truly begins, with the various gang members getting mutated.. and naturally so does virgil. Though he wakes up the next day seemingly fine. How’d he get home? Does his dad know where he was?

I don’t know and we’re not getting any answers, but Virgil soon finds weird stuff happening like his clock shorting out, change being attracted to him and his razor going wild. It’s only once he get sback to his room he gets an inkling of what’s going on and calls Ritchie to meet him at the Junk yard.. though it is a bit of a dick move as he dosen’t you know, tell him anything about Wade or Francis right away. He does at the yard though.. and that he has powers, having finally figured out how to use them to a point. And the series does provide a decent justification later as to why he’d get this so quickly: Virgil is a smart kid, gets great grades at school and apparnetly there’s even an episode later where he gets a scholarship to a fancy genius school. So him getting how elctromagntisim works or being a quick study on it makes perfect sense. 

Richie suggest the obvious.. to become a superhero. And the thought.. hadn’t occured to Virgil. It’s honestly a nice twist on the old trope. That he hadn’t thought of it, not because he’s selfish or any of that or needs to learn a hard lesson, those have been done.. simply because the rush of getting his powers, and implicitly of having a way out of his current predciament, a way to keep Francis off his back and keep Wade from pulling him in further. His own path. But once i’ts brought up.. he jumps on it. Part of it is being a nerd like you or I, of course he wants to.. and being a good intetioned one, he knows this is the right thing to do. It’s waht makes a superhero a hero: Anyone can get powers in a universe like this, esepcailly the dcau, but it takes true courage and heart to use them selflessly and knowing you’ll be in danger. It’s why I love surperheroes: they often didn’t ask for this but they do it anyway because somebody’s gotta. We also get an intresting wrinkle is superman is, at least I think in this episode I could’ve missed it or misremembered things, mentioned as a fictional character. That’s because originally like the comics this wasn’t part of the DCAU.. but eventually the crew decided it shared staff from it, shared a network, both first run and on reruns, why not just make it part of the DCAU proper. I fully support this decisionf: While i’m midly annoyed unlimited never really used anything from static shock outside of Static himself in the time travel episode, despite you know Static and Gear having BEEN to the tower and not being much younger than Kara and defintely older than Courtney, I chalk it up to weird rights issues or something like that. But having Batman, Batman Beyond, Superman, Green Lantern and the Justice League itself all guest star was a good idea, and expanded both static’s universe and gave the DCAU something differnt as most heroes in it were older and more experinced in contrast to the up and coming virgil. Again really would’ve been nice if he and gear could’ve been a part of the expanded league but production might of just been too far ahead or, given he had his own series, they might just have wanted to stick to toher characters. Also begs the question why Icon or Hardware wasn’t adapted for the expanded League but hey, questions for later and the tricky logisitics of the milestone rights might’ve been the issue. I don’t know I wasn’t in the room. 

So we get a costume montage, including Black Vulcan from Superfriends, who again ironically would be voiced by Lamarr not too long after this, though weirdly they DON’T use his outfit from the comics for this montage. I mean why not? It fits the gag and would’ve been a good second to last choice.But what could’ve been aside we get our winner and cut back to present day...

Thanks boys. Static finds out one of the things in the warehouse is a shipment of computers for the school and can’t help but show off, showing up to the school, where Frieda and Richie are setting up for the dance, and dropping off the computers, and even saying his catchphrase for the first time “I’ll put a shock to your system” (Which Richie chimes in with awesome line and I agree, great catcphrase), before helping set up and flirting with frieda. 

Though as Richtie says he’s a natural. He’s not wrong as he can work a crowd. .but back it up too as his first run out had him easily taking out the crooks, and as many teen superheros and fans of heroes of hte type, myself included will tell you, getting it right in one is not easy. Not even Miles MOrales was immune. All Static needs now is a villian. 

And the end of the episode provides one as we see, in horrifc and once again damn suprising detail most of hte new metas aren’t doing so good and are melting and other stuff and we catch up with Francis whose burning up.. and naturally given that hair, though given he named himself F-Stop it’s the least of his problems, he’s got fire powers and escapes to “Have me some fun”

So with that we end episode 1. And it’s excellent, a great way to introduce the hero and while the warehouse opening is a bit superflous, it is a decent addition, showing our heroes first outing in costume and giving us a bit of an action scene to get us through the very heavy rest of the episode. But the rest of the episode is no less grippping, telling the tale of a teen caught in an unwinnable scenario who suddenly finds a way out. And speaking of which waht of Wade? Will we see him again? Is he perhaps Ebon, the series big bad as I thought when I was a kid? What comes of the man who directly caused static’s origin?

Yeahhh that’s the one mistep I think the pilot makes. Frieda is understandable as that was likely a simple change in creative direction. This though? Why build this guy up if your not going to bring him back. I mean where he went was probably the grave, as he probably did due to his mutation, but it’s still VERY weird to spend a whole episode focusing on this guy, building him up as a big personal threat to our hero.. and NOT have him become the series big bad. And maybe he WAS supposed to be ebon and they just changed their mind. I don’t know but it bothers me it bothers me a lot. Otherwise though flawless. ONe more to go. 

Aftershock: We open outside an electronics store, as our heroes watch the news reacap what happened in the first episode, with the media dubbing it the Big Bang and revealing their could be hundreds of “Metahumans”, as Virgil dubs after deciding the media’s term “Mutant” dosen’t fit, a nice wink to the fact that that’s the term used in dc comics and I believe milestone but could be wrong there. Me I like the term, has a nice ring to it. 

At the store while Richie mulls over waht this means Static finds out he’s a human CD player.... this was before mp3 players and streaming on your phone made them horribly obsolete mind you and if you don’t know what one is congradualtions you live in some sort of bubble and you made me feel really old junior. 

Frieda happens to be there and Virgil quips “What’s the matter they run out of britney cds”. Dude she’s not bad. Also be careful what you wish for man. Nickeback returned the year after this. You have not truly suffered through bad music yet my young friend. They spot a kid looking feverish, and he soon turns into a purple werewolf, as you do. It’s a bang baby.. those are richie’s exact word and you may not want to start a panic there bud. Just saying your best friend is one. THeir not all like this. Our heroes book it only to run into Francis who naturally refuses to let them leave and only doesn’t try to beat up Virgil because Virgil points otu the werewolf and nonplussed, he goes to fight it, scarring it off by revealing his own powers. He’s now dubbed himself Hotstreak which points for getting an actually good name kid. No points for what happens next as unsuprisingly getting powers did NOT mak ehim a better person and he attacks Virgil who blocks with a garbage can lid and thankfully is blasted into an ally. Richie tries to guard frieda for damn obvious reasons but gets hsi shirt burnt up because shut up Thankfully Static shows up, and we get our firsdt full on superhuman fight as both fight each other with aplomb, and it’s a damn good fight.. and one that goes pear shaped for Virg as he’s caught off guard when he finds out Hotstreak can use his powers to fly, and tackles him and his previous trauma causes him to freeze up. Thankfully , as Frieda put in a call earlier, the fire department arrive and HOt streak has to retreat, though Virgil is bummed that he “Choked”. And I love this as it not only shows Virgil’s inepxerince, as this is his first time fighting a bad guy but that just because he HAS power now dosen’t mean trauma and his previous fear of Hotstreak goes away or you won’t freeze up from time to time. It dosen’t make him weak or anything like some assholes would call it .. it makes him human. Humans make mistakes, and it makes him all the more relatable that he’s not pefect and that he did freeze up as I know I certainly would at last once in the circumstances. 

Things don’t get better at dinner as Sharon and Pops argue over the bang babies with Pops calling them a meance and Sharon pointing out Static exists so they can’t all be bad. See assuming a group of superhumans are bad because a handful of them ar edick sis why the x-men had to get their own island nation. You can only save an ungreatful populous so many times before you say “fuck it i’m getting my own island, pay me for life saving drugs, save your damn selves and stop doing genocides on us. Kay thanks”. But he does bring up a valid point that rattles his son: We don’t know anything about the Bang Babies or their biological structures and it’s likely they might further mutate into monsters, Static included. 

Virgil, understandably, wants to check this and thus he and richie compare blood samples in science, to no real conclusion. She he checks out with his doctor who assumes he’s sexually active in a great getting crap past the radar bit and a bit of realisim, but he agrees to the test though if something came up he would have to tell Virgil’s dsad and is up front about this. Nice dose of realisim.

That night City Council has a meeting and the Mayor TRIES to deflect Papa Hawkins questions about the bang babies which again, while being a judgmental ass as not every person hit was a gang member (Virgil, and as we discover later some others), and not every gang member is there by choice, some by circumstnace some, like virgil almost was, because they HAD no other option. Again years of reading x-men may of just made me a bit touchy on assholes admitely assuming superpower people bad. But it’s clear the public is upset and while she says an investigation is underway... Virgil and Richie are not only not convinced, but figure she’s actively covering it up. And unlike everyone else there who probably suspects the same, they can do something about it and tail her.  It’s during this, and cleverly as I didn’t realie till writing this using similar skills to his human cd player act, Virgil listens in and discovers whose behind it: Edwin Alva, whose apparently richer than bill gates and a beloved phinarophist Alva, as it turns out, was actually the arch enemy of Hardware in the comics, taking advantage of the guy in his civiliian idtentiy and thus casuing him to launch a war on the asshole. He does transition into this series well though, being the one behind the gas that caused it and with the mayor agreeing to back off, planning to simply dump the info about the big bang on a disc then destroy everything for now till the heat dies down. Yup sounds like a corprate douchebag. 

Static tails him, finds the lab and infiltrates it, stealing the disc.. but getting caught by Alva’s goon, and trapped in a glass prison, forced to use ALL his power to escape and barely getting out alive, but not before bouncing off alva’s car. Still he now has the proof.. and meanwhile Hotstreak, who I was wrong did get captured, is forced to take pill sbut spits them out once the orderly is gone. Dude.. WHY DIDN’T YOU WATCH HIM. Make sure he swallows that shit especially since, as he has no powers right now and can’t harm you. 

Hotstreak escapes off screen and our heroes discuss the disc before he shows up, and we get a REALLY fucking amazing scene: Virgil ducks into an Alleway and ritchie is worried.. and Virgil disarms him with just one word responses Ritchie: Virg you can’t take him.  Virgil: Gotta. Ritchie: Well at least wait for the fire department Virgil: Can’t.  It’s simpile but it gets the point across: This is his fight, he can’t wait for help, and people need him. And this is what makes a true hero: It’s easy to be a hero when everythings going well.. but it’s the true ones who stick it out against the odds and fight anyway. And he’s going to.  So we get one hell of a fight, though naturally Hotstreak burns up the disc. And I do like this as it dosen’t feel contrived.. yes Static could’ve left it with ritchie.. but he wasn’t thinking in the moment and dind’t really have time to think abotu the disc, only that people were being hurt and he was all they had between them and Hotstreak. It was no choice at all. Still that pisses Virgil off that the last night’s work is now worthless, and he fully charges up and curbstomps francis who retreats into a clearing. Hostreak brags when static follows, as even he’s figured out Static needs to be around metal, as he’s usually on his disc or the street, and in the park there suppodsidly isn’t any. But he’s not THAT smart as Virgil points out two things: one, he hoped to do this on PURPOSE so they wouldn’t be around people and no on e would get hurt and 2).. this is a city, there’s metal everywhere.. and he awesomely and cleverly proves it by unlodging a sewage pipe with his powers and dousing his foe, winning and proving his stuff. I love this solution, it’s a clever spider-man type way to disarm him, using smarts and the einvroment instead of just brute forcing it. Though the sewage part wasn’t intetional our hero still won and gets praise from the people dumb enough to follow the fight. 

However at home Virgil points out it was  Pyrrhic Victory and shows off his smarts by telling the tale behind it, which I didn’t know,because tv tropes didn’t exist yet: king pyrhus fought the romans and WON.. but had so little armies left that he still lost overall. That’s what this feels like to Virgil: he beat hotstreak but any chance at a cure for Bang Babies and Alva going to jail for causing them is gone. His mood does get a boost though as the doctor calls and reveals he’s fine, he just has a bit too much elctrolytes and just needs to lay off teh salt. He celebrates, we get a quick gag and the episode ends

Aftershock is another stellar episoe, giving us Virgil’s first super foe and a personal one at that, while showing some growth. As richie tells him he’s not virgil anymore he’s static and he can’t let his past get to him.. and he does’nt going from cowering in fear to easily beating his foe with simple logic. It’s a good followup that answers questions you may have from the first ep, like what does this do to virgil’s body, who supplied the gas, and why has no one done anything about this, and sets up another villian for Static in Alva. Great stuff. I highly recommend these episodes and the show as a whole: it’s fast paced, grounded and enjoyable, having just enough levity to not be too dour but just enough tension and stakes to be intresting. A throughly fantastic superhero show and one that i’d certainly love to revisit on this blog If you have an episode of static or the dcau in general you’d want me to cover, my comissions are open and details are on a tab on my blog or can be gotten simply by asking me via ask or dm. Tommorow we’re going deeper underground, there’s too much damage in this town as the Lena Retrospective continues. So expect gay ducks, straight ducks and some terrfirmains. See you next rainbow. 

[cherrymf15]

I posted 228 times in 2021

15 posts created (7%)

213 posts reblogged (93%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 14.2 posts.

I added 48 tags in 2021

#dnp - 9 posts

#dan and phil - 6 posts

#dan - 6 posts

#phil - 5 posts

#phil lester - 5 posts

#books - 4 posts

#dan howell - 4 posts

#book - 3 posts

#stephen king - 3 posts

#it - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 62 characters

#i have been screaming at myself for an hr to do it but i can't

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

So I have not finishes the song of Achilles yet but I have almost cried multiple times already so I'm terrified for when everything goes to shit

15 notes • Posted 2021-07-22 23:13:44 GMT

#4

My thought on IT which emotionally destroyed me in my own home

If you don’t want spoilers from the book please don’t read!

Ben is a massive fucking simp let’s be real

Stephen King. Why you killing all the gays my dude?

Richie calling Eddie cute and pinching his cheek is my new life line thank you 

Just Richie and Eddie in general are my life line 

WHY EDDIE? JUST WHY?

I never want to read a child sex scene again in my life I was so uncomfy the whole time 

Mr Chips is a great name for a dog and I want to kill Henry for killing him

All of the kids were great and I would die for all of them 

Eddie grabbing Richie's cheek when he was dying made me screech

You could’ve brought Eddie with you Beverly. Don’t “wish” you could’ve. You definitely could have brought him with you. 

Who the hell is gonna tell Myra he’s dead? None of them remember each other 

NONE OF THEM ARE GOING TO REMEMBER EACH OTHER 

Them slightly remembering in their dreams or whatever doesn’t comfort me cause I can’t help but imagine Richie remember someone who he loves very much (EDDIE) dying right in front of him trying to tell him something, BUT THEN NOT REMEMBERING ANYTHING ABOUT WHY THIS PERSON IS SO IMPORTANT TO HIM AND WHY HE’S SO BROKEN EVERYTIME HE REMEMBERS. 

The fact that they won’t remember made me cry for a full hour and that’s because I kept thinking about forgetting my best friend and how that’s how they’re gonna feel but they won’t actual know and just ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I repeat AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“You know I...I...” YOU FUCKING WHAT EDDIE PLEASE JUST TELL HIM 

So in conclusion, I highly recommend this harrowing experience and I had a great/ horrible time

Thanks for reading my mental breakdown at 1 in the morning 

17 notes • Posted 2021-01-29 01:15:52 GMT

#3

Okay, so last night I finally watched The Hollow season 2 (LOVED IT btw) and I have like just 1 issue with it. Why is Weirdy helping DIGITAL COPIES of previous players??? Like they are DIGITAL COPIES and he's risking his entire job to save them. It just doesn't make sense to me. Real them are completely fine and sure they're self aware digital copies but I just why??

26 notes • Posted 2021-06-04 09:42:12 GMT

#2

Ben Wyatt owns every piece of my heart and I would kill for him

94 notes • Posted 2021-06-19 23:22:45 GMT

#1

My thoughts on The Song of Achilles 24 hrs after it destroyed my soul as I needed time to fucking process

If you don’t want spoilers from the book please don’t read!

WHY IS EVERYONE KILLING THE GAYS?

Die Patroclus' Dad. Your son is a bean and you do not deserve him you little bitch

Die Thetis until like the very last page literally, but I appreciate your work for the gays when you weren't a bitch

Die Agamemnon cause just fuck you dickface

DIE PYRRHUS PATROCLUS WAS NOT A BLOT ON YOUR FATHER'S HONOUR YOU FUCKER

Odysseus, I have read Circe so I know you kinda fucking suck too my guy but I appreciate you trying to get Patroclus' name next to Achilles

We also appreciate this man for essentially comparing Achilles and Patroclus to him and his wife

Also, Phoinix with his story about Meleager and Cleopatra and staring pointedly at Patroclus made me happy but also killed me

Bri is a queen and deserves better than what she fucking got. Fucking Pyrrhus and his bitch boy antics

Childhood best friends to lovers is like my favourite trope so just yes

Patroclus seeing Achilles fight for the first time and literally imagining him handling 20 guys easily: *under his breath* fuck me Achilles: What was that? Patroclus: I said fight me

That scene where Achilles just literally drags my boy off his chair was so cute but it also made me laugh so fucking hard

Achilles waiting for him instead of going to Chiron JUST KILL ME

Their first kiss and Achilles running made me scream like no the love of your life is right fucking there child, but Patroclus going anyway despite not knowing how things were after the kiss ahhhhhhh

"Patroclus I have given them enough. I will not give them this." Yes baby don't let them stop you be as gay as you fucking want (leave that to the shitty fates and your mother)

Achilles first instinct when seeing Patroclus' body to be to slash his own throat caused me to throw my book. Just anything to do his with reaction made me throw my book. Especially the ashes thing man

I'm skipping a whole bunch of stuff cause this is quite long already but imagining Achilles finally being at rest and relieved that he'll get to see Patroclus again only to still be alone but it's not like he can go back and I just sob

and Patroclus not being at rest till people know that he and Achilles were together killed me cause he was always so worried about being fully found out when they were alive but dead he was like no let the fucking world know I loved him and love him still.

I appreciate that Thetis did this though I think that was a nice moment when they both hated each other

In conclusion, they gay, I am in pain even 24 hrs after finishing this masterpiece. I will probably think about it and cry randomly for the next 20 yrs and I'm okay with that. I highly recommend this ride of knowing pretty much whats gonna go down but letting your soul be destroyed anyway

121 notes • Posted 2021-07-25 23:32:10 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[quercussp]

The Royal Mr. Whiskers

Rating: T

Word count: 2.3k

Summary:

Mr. Whiskers just could not understand why they had to move to a new apartment. This apartment was perfect! It had the couch Mr. Whiskers liked, the little nook above the fridge from where Mr. Whiskers could keep watch, a nice warm bed for him. All the smells were accounted for, all the walls sufficiently improved by Mr. Whisker’s claws. But no, apparently with Phil moving in, his humans didn’t have enough space anymore.

Authors note:

Happy Birthday Zan! This fic is about moving in, roommates and cats, so I hope you like it <3 Have the most lovely day today!

Special thanks to @alittledizzy and @bisexualshoemarriage for the beta work <3

Warnings: light swearing

[read on ao3]

Humans truly are ridiculous. Also very needy. Mr. Whiskers just could not understand why they had to move to a new apartment. This apartment was perfect! It had the couch Mr. Whiskers liked, the little nook above the fridge from where Mr. Whiskers could keep watch, a nice warm bed for him. All the smells were accounted for, all the walls sufficiently improved by Mr. Whisker’s claws. But no, apparently with Phil moving in, his humans didn’t have enough space anymore.

“Listen, it’ll be great! We’ll take the couch with us, you’ll have more space to roam. I promise you, you’re gonna love it!” Phil was explaining to Mr. Whiskers once again, while sorting laundry. Dan was out at work, and Phil was using that time to once again try to persuade Mr. Whiskers that moving would be a good idea. “See? Nothing fits! We just don’t have the space, I keep having to keep my socks in a pile on the floor! ... No, that is not acceptable. … Because clothing needs to be put away or it’ll get dirty again! Look at this, there’s more cat hair in here than there is fabric!” Phil waived a pair of socks in front of Mr. Whiskers face.

Mr. Whiskers has had this argument with Phil at least 20 times by now. When the topic first came up, both of his humans were incredibly excited. They would spend hours looking at their little lit up book, discussing potential new apartments, choosing what furniture would come with them and what they would buy. And they had the audacity to not even ask Mr. Whisker’s permission before making that decision.

Of course, Mr. Whiskers could not let that lie. Phil’s favorite mug had to go (it was thrown off the counter in the middle of the night, just for additional impact), along with Dan’s new shoes (if his human didn’t want him to pee in his shoes, he should have put them away into the closet. Or he could have stopped this silly moving nonsense). But even those desperate measures didn’t seem to help.

Dan, of course, being the thick headed individual that he was, could not put two and two together and insisted that Mr. Whiskers was having a “mid life crisis” and that they should just ignore his antics (and put away all their shoes at night).

Phil, on the other hand, definitely knew what prompted the destruction of his mug (along with the ruined sweater and of course the ‘cactus incident’. Poor Billy did not deserve to die that young, but he ended up collateral damage). So he started a campaign to persuade Mr. Whiskers that it would be a good idea. Well, maybe persuade isn’t the right word, more like bribe him.

The first thing Phil had to do was persuade Dan that they absolutely could not live in a flat on the ground floor. It was a two week argument in which Phil was forced to be very creative, explaining that he needs the exercise of going up the stairs and that he’s scared of a piano falling through the ceiling on top of him (it’s not like he could tell Dan that Mr. Whiskers insisted that he needs a good view of the pigeons outside and that he refuses to stare at people’s feet all day. He was Mr. Whiskers, not some lowlife dog.) Eventually, after multiple arguments, a lot of whining and several “persuading sessions” that Phil carried out in their bedroom, throwing Mr. Whiskers out of the room with whisper “Do you want the view or not?”, Dan gave in.

Next was the room issue. Phil was absolutely adamant that he and Dan need a separate room from Mr. Whiskers, and it was not easy to satisfy either Dan or Mr. Whiskers. Dan kept throwing his hands up in disbelief and shrieking “Why do we need TWO extra rooms?! I get one is a guest room, but what the hell are we going to do with the second bedroom?! Phil, no we do not need a separate room for the cat!.. Ouch! Fuck off, you animal, that hurt!” Sometimes humans just needed to be reminded that stupidity has consequences.

Mr. Whiskers on the other hand demanded that he would get the Master Suite. He might not exactly know what that meant, but if anyone would have the room that’s called the “Master” room, surely it should be Mr. Whiskers.

So that is why Phil was currently on his knees in the bedroom, folding Dan’s underwear and trying to reason with Mr. Whiskers, who was in the middle of his bathing session.

“It’s just called that because it has an en suite bathroom. You don’t even use the bathroom, why would you want that room?”

Mr. Whiskers gave Phil an unimpressed glance and continued licking his tail.

“It’s already hard enough to get Dan to agree to that place with the extra bedroom. If we tell him that he doesn’t even get the big room, there’s no way he’s gonna go for it and we’ll have to start the search all over again!”

Mr. Whiskers went on to carefully licking his toes.

“I know you don’t care if we stay here for another couple months, but we’re going crazy here! And do you remember that there was an actual gas leak last week, right? Please, be reasonable!”

“Hey Phil! Are you having a debate with the cat again?” They both turned their heads to see Dan glancing into the room, cheeks red from walking home. Dan came up to Phil and gave him a peck on the lips and ruffled his hair. “You’re a weird one, Lester.”

He tried to give Mr. Whiskers a scratch behind the ears, but Mr. Whiskers had no time for that nonsense and jumped up on the dresser with a huff.

“Fine, be that way, see if I care,” Dan hissed at him and went to the kitchen to start dinner.

Phil shot Mr. Whiskers a pleading look.

“Mr. Whiskers, please, you have to be the bigger person here. Or the bigger cat I guess,” he murmured quietly before following Dan into the kitchen. Mr. Whiskers could hear wet smooching noises and laughter and assumed that the humans were doing their licking thing again. Gross.

***

In the end, a compromise had been reached. After some lengthy debates, Dan agreed that having a separate room could be useful in the future (“In case we want to expand the family some day” Dan said and both of the humans suddenly got very red and giggly, much to Mr. Whisker’s confusion), and Mr. Whiskers finally agreed to take the smaller room for himself, as long as Phil promised that he would get a proper sized bed to sleep on. And not one of those kitty beds, a proper bed. One that he would approve of himself.

And that’s how they end up sitting at the kitchen table, all three of them, shopping for beds on Dan’s computer thing (it didn’t really make sense no matter how many times Phil tried to explain it to Mr. Whiskers, but the humans didn’t need to know that, or they might think that they’re smarter than him). Dan was showing them different pictures, and Mr. Whiskers was gracefully situated in Phil’s lap, who was gently scratching his stomach in an attempt to make the whole process more pleasurable for everybody (himself mostly, of course, as there is no greater pleasure than petting Mr. Whiskers, and Mr. Whiskers was kind enough to allow it.)

“How about this one?” Dan showed a picture of a small wooden bed with drawers at the base. “We can use it as a daybed and store things in there? Maybe fit a table in the room as well, have a little home office?”

“That could work, what do you think Mr. Whiskers?” Phil replied.

“Yes, of course, what does Mr. Whiskers think,” said Dan in a slightly teasing voice.

Mr. Whiskers let his claws out a bit and kneaded at Phil’s lap.

“Ouch ouch ouch, ok, ok! No, Mr. Whiskers doesn’t like it. He wants something bigger.”

“My god, this cat is such a diva!” Dan rolled his eyes but continued looking. He showed them a couple other options but Mr. Whiskers remained unimpressed (“You don’t have to claw me every time, man!” Phil would tell him, “I get it, you don’t like it!”).

Dan continued scrolling until a picture caught Mr. Whiskers’s attention. He stood up from Phil’s lap and let out a loud meow.

“I think Mr. Whiskers likes this one!” Phil exclaimed, pointing to a picture of a gigantic white fluffy bed, with a gold headboard.

“You’re kidding, right? You have to be kidding, Phil! Do you see how much it costs? It’s a king size! It won’t even fit in the room!” Dan was starting to get a little hysterical in Mr. Whiskers opinion. And the “king” part sounded pretty good, whatever it meant.

“No, Phil, no this is absolutely not happening!”

***

But of course it did happen. Many weeks and boxes later (who knew that all Phil had to tell Mr. Whiskers to convince him to move was that there would be endless boxes. Of all sizes. All for Mr. Whiskers to enjoy, despite his humans trying to use them for other purposes), they were getting settled in their new place, and Mr. Whiskers had to admit it was pretty nice. There were large windows with a nice wide windowsill for Mr. Whiskers to lounge on while looking outside. The pigeons on the balcony were an endless source of entertainment. They got a lovely new dining table and chairs, one of which Mr. Whiskers of course promptly claimed for himself. Even the couch that they brought with them seemed to be more comfortable, now that it wasn’t totally overflowing with random things.

As for the bed, Mr. Whiskers immediately knew that it was going to be quite acceptable, as soon as Dan and Phil tugged it into the apartment, red and panting from the effort.

“Phil, I hate you for making us get a place on the 4th floor. We are never moving again, you hear me?” Dan whined, plopping himself on the sofa dramatically.

“Yes, dear,” answered Phil breathlessly and went into the kitchen to get some water.

Mr. Whiskers jumped down from his lounging space on top of one of the bookshelves and went to investigate. The bed they brought in was packed in just an absolutely magnificent specimen of a box. It was giant, just the size Mr. Whiskers deserved. He sniffed the box while walking around it. The smell wasn’t great, but that was fixable. He clawed a bit at the cardboard.

“Impatient, are you, you fucker?” Dan asked, still panting.

Mr. Whiskers shot him a dirty look. His human really needed to learn to hold his tongue sometimes.

***

Under Mr. Whiskers’s careful instruction, the bed was assembled in his room and the box from it was left in the corner for him to enjoy later (that did require some scratching to achieve, as Dan was adamant on throwing it out. Once again, the stupidity of humans continued to baffle Mr. Whiskers). Phil put down nice purple sheets and some pillows on it, and Dan moved all the cat toys and Mr. Whiskers’ scratch tower into the room with him.

“I cannot believe we have a seperate room for our cat. We must be crazy,” he said, wiping off his forehead and pulling Phil to his side gently.

Phil wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist and leaned his head on his shoulder. “I can’t believe we’re finally done moving. I can’t wait to live here with you.”

They were looking at each other with that disgusting look in their eyes, and Mr. Whiskers felt the need to remind them of who the real mastermind behind this whole moving thing was by jumping onto the new bed and meowing.

“And with you of course, Mr. Whiskers!” Phil corrected himself.

***

That night Dan and Phil closed themselves in their room pretty early and left Mr. Whiskers to wander the apartment on his own. By now Mr. Whiskers knew that they would keep the door closed for a bit, but then probably Phil would go to get himself some water and Mr. Whiskers could sneak in at that moment. More often than not, Dan was already too tired to kick him out again, and Mr. Whiskers could get some sleep in peace.

His plan worked perfectly of course, and just a couple of hours later Mr. Whiskers quietly tiptoed into the room, just as Phil was closing the door. He waited until they both settled back into bed, softly jumped up and made his way across the covers to the nice warm spot between the two humans.

“You stupid cat, you have to be kidding me!” Dan grumbled half asleep. “Get out! Get out! You have a separate room! With a separate bed! It’s bigger than ours! Go away!”

Mr. Whiskers ignored his rambling and curled up comfortably.

“Phil, tell him to go away,” Dan mumbled, but Mr. Whiskers could hear that he had given up. “Tell him he has his own bed.”

Phil just sighed and pulled Dan closer to him. Just a couple minutes later the two humans were peacefully asleep. Mr. Whiskers curled up a bit tighter and closed his eyes. He swished his tail, gently bumping it into the two bodies around him. He would let Dan sleep a little bit before moving to his preferred sleeping location - Dan’s pillow. It’s not like Dan needed it. No matter how much he liked to pretend to be annoyed at Mr. Whiskers for pushing him off of the pillow, he seemed to prefer Phil’s chest anyway. And Mr. Whiskers was not cruel enough to deny Dan the opportunity to do that. He was generous like that.

[thereisnobearonthisisland-arc]

tell me somethin’ new

summary: dan's kind of regretting throwing away his friday night to have a skate-off with the guy who insulted him earlier today, but maybe it won't be as bad as he thinks. or the one where dan howell is a little hot-headed and accidentally challenges former ice-skating champion, phil lester, to an after-hours skating competition.

a/n: this was written for the jolly friends and dickmates gc winter secret santa gift exchange. happy christmas/new year/random friday in january @amczingphil​! special thanks to @knlalla​ and @philsroots​ for continuing to beta this even after i argued against almost every suggestion they made. to quote myself, “i’m sorry for being a stubborn gay bitch.”

word count: 3.7k

read on ao3

warnings: sexual references, sports injury, dan doesn’t know when to Stop

Dan is, decidedly, a dumbass, though he has yet to realize it. He slumps forward, eyes dropping down to where the laces on his skates hang limply at the sides. He glares at them. It’s not their fault that he’s here at an ice rink, after hours on a Friday night. They weren’t the ones who declared that Dan could outskate the cute ice rink owner, Phil, in a fit of half-flirting, half-frustrated hubris, after all. No, Dan did that just fine on his own, but he needs to take his irritation out on something, and the laces happen to be right here.

It hadn’t been on purpose, of course. He hadn’t stepped onto the rink earlier today with the intention of challenging a complete stranger to an after-hours skating competition.

Dan sighs and combs his fingers through his hair. This was a mistake. He could have actually had a fun night, could have gone out to a couple local bars to find a hook-up, but there’s not much he can do about it now. He’s already here, and he’s not about to forfeit when he knows he can win. With a sigh, he reaches down and begins tying up his laces. Might as well get it over with. At least this Phil guy is hot.

Planting the blades of his skates into the ground as firmly as he can, Dan pushes himself up off the bench, but it does little to stop him wobbling the moment he adds his weight into the mix. His ankles buckle and he finds himself reaching out to grab onto the nearest support. He just manages to wrap his arms around the nearest bench in an attempt to hold himself up before he finds himself in a heap of his own limbs on the floor.

Groaning, he presses his forehead against the seat top. It’s made of metal and cool from the chilly air, and it helps to temper his rapidly warming face. Fuck ice skates. He never really has much of a problem with them when he’s on the ice, but he can’t walk for shit in them when he’s on solid ground. He’ll have to learn pretty quickly if he doesn’t want to fall flat on his face in front of Phil, though.

Using the arms he’s already wrapped around the bench, Dan pulls himself back to his feet. This time, he positions himself closer to the wall. As long as there’s something for him to lean on if he needs to, Dan should be able to make it all the way to the rink without incident. He just needs to spend less time thinking about what he’s doing.

Somehow he manages it.

Phil is already on the ice by the time Dan makes it out to the gate. He’s gliding across the ice in figure eights, his long legs clad in tight black leggings, and Dan’s half-tempted to just stay quiet and hide behind the barrier so he can keep watching. It doesn’t really seem like Phil would notice Dan if he doesn’t make his presence known - he appears to be lost in his own world, his entire body swaying to the rhythm of a song that isn’t actually there.

Actually, he appears to be dancing - properly dancing - on the ice right now. His arms come up to circle over his head, fingers locked tightly together, and he bends at the knees, tucking in to begin spinning in a tight circle on the spot. The sharp blades of the skates grind against the ice, cutting through the air like a siren, but all Dan can focus on are Phil’s legs. He seems to be winding himself up, although for what exactly Dan isn’t quite sure.

The answer, it turns out, is nothing. But Phil isn’t done yet. He plants his toe into the ice to stop himself from spinning and immediately begins gliding backwards across the smooth surface. He draws his right leg back, allowing the left one to continue to carry him over the ice as he gears up for something Dan’s not sure he’s ready for himself. Dan can feel his heartbeat in his ears as Phil drags his right skate forward to plant the toe in the ice and propel himself off the ground.

It isn’t until this moment that he realizes Phil must know twice as much about skating as Dan does himself. So what if Phil falls flat on his arse the moment his skates touch the ice again? Dan knows that he’s not a bad skater, but he definitely doesn’t know how to skate quite like that. Regardless of whether or not Phil can land his jumps, he can still do more than Dan will ever be able to. Maybe this was a bad idea. Dan’s throat closes tightly as he watches Phil reach behind himself to press a hand to his lower back. The wince is visible even from here.

Phil pushes himself to his feet and brushes the ice shavings off of his arse, and Dan doesn’t know whether to keep watching or to pretend he hadn’t seen the fall to begin with.

It seems he doesn’t even need to make the decision. Before he can even think about it, Phil’s calling out from the middle of the ice.

“I thought you wanted to skate.” He fixes his gaze just to the left of Dan, eyes rimmed with just a tinge of red.

Dan takes a deep breath and then steps through the gate and out onto the ice. As soon as his skates touch the new surface, a calm washes over him. He begins gliding towards the center of the rink where Phil is, the blades cutting smoothly through the clean ice. It feels familiar, comforting in the same way it feels to walk through the front door of his flat after a long day. Phil meets Dan’s gaze, crosses his arms as Dan digs his toe into the ice to come to a halt right in front of him.

“Sorry, I - erm - I saw you out on the ice and I didn’t want to interrupt,” Dan says.

“I saw you come out of the changing rooms.” Phil’s turned his attention to his fingernails, and Dan wonders if he and his big mouth have already ruined any prospects for a friendly flirtationship.

“Oh yeah, I was, uh, re-tying my laces,” he says lamely.

“Cool.”

The question are you okay sits on the tip of Dan’s tongue, but instead he blurts out, “So what, were you trying to show off for me or…?”

Phil rolls his eyes, muttering something under his breath, and begins skating away. Dan watches, unsure of whether he should follow after him or just turn around leave before his shoves his foot even further in his mouth.

“Are you coming?”

Once again, it seems as though Phil is making all of Dan’s decisions for him tonight. Maybe he doesn’t mind as much as he should.

"Yes, sir," he grumbles. When he starts towards Phil, he goes slowly, opting for long, smooth strides over the short, choppy ones that would get him there faster. He comes to a stop about two metres away and clears his throat. "Okay. So tell me how I have to kick your ass."

Phil huffs. "Three trials. One timed lap around the rink, seven figure-eights, one triple lux. Loser has to pay for drinks afterwards.”

Dan gulps. He has no idea how to do a triple lux, but maybe if Phil goes before him, he can just wing it and try to mimic what he does.

“Do we have a deal?” Phil says.

“You know,” Dan starts against his better judgment, lips turning up at one corner into a crooked smirk, “you don’t have to go through all of this just to take me out for a drink. Hell, I’d fall right into your bed if you smiled at me.” He’d probably fall right into Phil’s bed without the smile, even. Although, considering that Phil hasn’t so much as smirked since the moment they met, Dan’s definitely itching to get at least one out of him before the night is over.

“You were the one who called for a skate-off.” Phil’s voice is flat and low, his eyes once again searching for anything to look at besides Dan. His cheeks are tinged pink, but as much as Dan would like to take credit for that himself, he’s pretty sure it’s because Phil’s been stood out on this ice for a while. It is rather nipply out here. Perhaps that’s why Dan loses the ability to bite his tongue every time he’s out on this ice. All his blood is trying to circulate towards his head.

“I only called for a skate-off in the first place because you seem to think I’m incapable of teaching my niece how to skate.”

Phil eyes him suspiciously. “That was your niece?”

“Well yeah,” Dan scoffs. “I promised her I’d take her skating this year. She’s never been before and this place had the best reviews. Obviously none of the reviewers took hospitality into account.”

Phil freezes, his jaw dropping and his eyes narrowing into slits. “Well maybe-” he growls, pausing to let a deep breath pass in and out of his lips. Any fight he has in him seems to dissipate as he exhales. He closes his mouth slowly. “Look. You were distributing your weight all wrong. I know it probably feels more comfortable balance-wise when you angle your skates outward, but it leaves you more susceptible to injuries. I just thought that if you were trying to teach a kid how to skate - which you were - you should at least do it right.”

Dan’s ears grow hot at the insinuation that he’s unfit to teach Maggie how to skate. He scowls at the thick layer of ice beneath his feet. “Oh yeah? Well who crowned you king of the fucking ice rink?”

“The deed to this place,” Phil says flatly. There’s a beat of silence and then he lets out a long sigh, causing Dan’s eyes to flit up. Phil’s eyes are squeezed tightly shut, his teeth worrying at his bottom lip. “Fuck,” he bursts out finally. “Okay, I’m sorry. You’re not like. A bad skater. I think you already know that.”

Dan can feel the tension beginning to seep out of his shoulders just from this half-compliment, and he kind of hates himself for it. “But?”

“But there’s something I want to show you. C’mon.” The ice grinds beneath Phil skates as he starts making his way towards the main gate.

“Is it your cock?” Dan calls after him. He can see the eye roll from here. “I thought we were going to skate?”

“Raincheck?” Phil looks down at his skates. “I, erm, assume you saw me fall earlier?”

Dan nods despite the guilt crawling up to expand in his throat. He swallows it down. “Yeah, I did. But, uh, I mean to your credit, I wouldn’t even attempt whatever jump that was you did.”

Phil looks up, laughs humourlessly. “A triple lutz. They used to be my specialty. Anyway, It turns out that I’m also pretty shit at distributing my weight. I am now, at least. I, uh, strained my knee on that jump, so I should probably get out of these skates and try not to fuck it up any more.” Shaking his head, he turns and takes his first step off the ice.

“Specialty?” Dan murmurs to himself. Phil used to have an ice skating specialty. One that involved actually jumping off the ice. It’s only a moment later that he registers the second thing Phil just said. “Wait!” he calls out, skating towards the gate he entered the rink at - the one Phil’s just used to step off the ice. He slows down as he approaches the wall. “Are you hurt?”

With a small, sad smile, Phil turns back to look at him. “Nothing a little ice won’t fix.” He sits down on the bench beside gate while Dan uses the wall as a support to help himself off the ice.

Dan sits down on the opposite bench as Phil begins untying his laces. He won’t say it out loud, but Dan is glad for the excuse to take his skates off instead of walking back to the changing rooms in them. If Phil can take his off out here, then Dan will just do the same. He reaches down, tugs at his laces until they loosen. It’s always ten times harder to get the skates off than it is to put them on, so he gets to work, trying to wiggle them off of his feet one at a time.

He isn’t having much luck. Phil’s are already lying on the floor next to his feet, just another testament to how foolish Dan had been to challenge him in the first place. He got lucky with Phil’s forfeit, although from his view of the way Phil’s currently hunched over and massaging his knee with the palm of his hand, Dan doesn’t actually feel all too great about it.

Phil looks up at Dan from beneath his lashes. “Need some help?”

Dan nods silently and sticks his foot out to make it more accessible to Phil, but Phil just drops down to press his good knee into the floor.

“Bit too soon for a proposal, don’t you think?” Dan teases as Phil fiddles with the laces to loosen them up a bit more.

“You know, I could just let you keep these on and laugh as you stumble around in them.”

“Philip,” Dan gasps, “were you watching me? I knew it. I’m irresistible, aren’t I?” He winks.

“Embarrassingly comedic is more like it,” Phil mutters, although his cheeks have gone pink again. He tugs on the heel of Dan’s boot and it gives up its tight grip on his foot. “Okay, now point your toes.” Dan does as he’s told, and the skate slips easily off of his foot. Phil sets it on the floor like he’d done with his own.

Dan whistles. “Wow. Do you do this kind of thing often? For the record, when I say ‘this kind of thing’ I mean ‘help guys who really want to bang you undress from their skates.’”

Phil rolls his eyes. “Do you have an off switch?”

Dan reaches behind himself with a smirk. “Yeah,” he says, pointing to his bum, “it’s right around here.”

“Jesus Christ,” Phil mutters as he starts working on the second boot. “Something tells me that only winds you up more.” He tugs the skate over Dan’s foot and sets it on the floor next to the first. “Now come on. I need to go get some ice on my knee and wrap it up.”

Dan watches as he uses his hands to push himself up off the ground, careful not to jostle his right knee in any way. Following suit, Dan picks his skates up off the ground and grabs Phil’s also. “I know you’re going to turn me down,” he says, “but you’re welcome to use me as support if you need to hobble.”

To Dan’s surprise, Phil slings an arm around his shoulder without a word.

“Oh,” Dan breathes. He shuffles the pair of skates in his right hand to under his left arm, slipping his now free hand around to grip Phil’s waist. “Is this, erm, is this okay?” he says quietly.

“Yeah.”

They make their way slowly and wordlessly, the newly shared intimate space drawing even Dan into a precarious silence. He’s afraid that if he opens his mouth, this bubble that they’ve built around themselves will burst. His heart thumping against his ribcage is the only thing tethering him to reality right now. Each beat feels like there’s a bird trapped in his chest, flapping its wings relentlessly in the hopes that enough friction will set it free.

Luckily, Phil’s office isn’t too far away. There’s a hallway just after the changing room entrance, and all the way at the left on the end is the office.

When they reach it, Phil pushes the door open and flicks on the light. “You can have a seat,” he says, pointing to the armchair near the far wall. “I’ll just be a few minutes.”

Dan watches warily as he hobbles towards his desk on his own. It’s only when Phil makes it to his desk chair without incident that Dan lets out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding in. He strolls over to the armchair and plops himself down on it.

With Phil busy rummaging around in something beneath his desk, Dan is free to look around his office. He hasn’t thought about it enough to have any real expectations, but for some reason he finds the orderliness of the room surprising. Phil’s sat at a large mahogany desk in the corner opposite Dan. It has a computer with two monitors, a picture frame, a coffee mug, a pair of glasses, and what appears to be a page from a newspaper on it, but otherwise, it’s bare. A couple filing cabinets line the wall opposite the desk, but they too have nothing on them. It’s very...plain.

In fact, the only real decoration he can spot in the whole room is a staggered row of shelves built into the wall next to Phil’s desk. On each of them is a collection of trophies, medals hung neatly around their necks. Dan probably wouldn’t have even noticed them if he hadn’t a glimpse of a glare reflecting off their surface.

“That’s a lot of trophies,” he says, finally breaking the silence. “So you’re an ice skater? Like competitively?”

Phil looks up from the ace bandage he’s been steadily winding around his knee while Dan’s been distracted. “Was.” His voice cracks. “I was a competitive ice skater.” He opens his mouth as if he wants to say more, but then closes it abruptly.

Dan doesn’t know how much more he should push, but he’s willing to test the waters if it means getting to know this man a little bit more. “It looks like you were a pretty damn good one,” he prompts, nodding to the shelves.

“Erm…” Phil turns his attention back to his knee so he can finish wrapping it up. “Yeah, I was alright.” His voice shakes. “I was better than alright, actually. I was on the track to the Olympics, but then I made a rookie mistake and...well, long story short, I tore my ACL.”

Dan sucks in a breath. “Oh my God,” he says softly. “I’m so sorry.” He doesn’t know what all a torn ACL entails, but he knows that it’s ruined careers for a lot of unlucky athletes. And if Phil is here instead of out on the ice, Dan’s pretty sure that he was one of the unlucky ones.

“Me too,” Phil whispers. “Me too.” He shakes his head and turns to tuck the end of his bandage beneath another layer, clipping it in place. With a sigh, he looks back up at Dan. “I was trying to do a triple lutz when you came out to the rink earlier. Just to see if I could do it. I mean, the doctor told me when I came out of surgery that I’d never be able to skate competitively again. I think a part of me has always held out hope that I’d be able to land jumps eventually, though.”

Dan nods. He knows what that feels like. He knows how it feels to chase after something even when the odds are against you. “So what did you do? After they told you you wouldn’t be able to compete again?”

“I, uh-” Phil laughs darkly.“I did a lot of moping for about a year. And then I signed on to be a coach to some younger skaters for a couple years. But I found out that just wasn’t a good fit for me. It was just this painful reminder of everything that I’d had to leave behind.” He presses his palm into his knee and looks up towards the ceiling, letting out a long sigh. “So as soon as my contracts ended, I moved out here and used some of the money I’d saved up to buy this place. Part of me wishes that I could just leave it all behind. But I’ve tried, and every time I do it’s like I can hear the ice calling out to me. Like we have unfinished business. I don’t know, I probably sound like a freak.”

“No,” Dan says, “no, not at all. That’s how I feel about writing.”

“You’re a writer?” Phil’s eyebrows shoot up.

Dan laughs, bringing a hand up to run his fingers through his hair. “Uh, yeah. Not a very good one, but yeah.”

Phil frowns. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Tell that to every publisher I’ve sent my manuscript to in the past two years.”

Phil’s frown deepens, his eyebrows scrunching together in a way that’s both endearing and maddeningly practiced. “Well fuck them. You’ll get it published. I know you will.”

Dan sighs, ruffling his hair again. “Thanks. Really, thank you.” Part of him is afraid that his earnestness makes him sound like a bit of a loon, but mostly he just feels relieved. He’s forgotten how it feels to sit down and have a conversation with someone who actually listens to what he’s saying.

“You will,” Phil says softly before clearing his throat. “Anyway, I, uh, I just wanted to say that I wasn’t trying to like. Insult you earlier today. You’re a decent skater and you skate with confidence, which is half the battle sometimes. There are just some techniques that could help you skate a little more smoothly if you’d learned via a trainer.” He scratches his head. “I could teach you sometime, if you want. And your niece, too. What’s her name again?”

“Maggie,” Dan answers automatically. He pauses for a beat, letting a smile spread slowly across his face. “So you could teach me some techniques, huh?”

Phil blinks. “Aaaaand he’s back.” Shaking his head, he stands up from the desk chair and tests out his knee. It seems to be holding up from what Dan can see. “C’mon,” Phil says with a sigh, the small smile tugging at his lips betraying his apparent annoyance. “Let me buy you a drink. I did technically forfeit after all.”

[allthephils]

Repose

Chapter 16

Read on AO3

Rated M (adult themes, keeping beauty au) word count: 3014/ 45,687

“Phil.” Louise had a hand on Phil’s shoulder. He looked up from his phone to see the lone guard had turned and was walking directly toward him. Before he had a chance to think, there was a firm grip on his upper arm. His phone was pulled out of his hand and Dennis pulled the metal grate aside. Two additional guards had come out of nowhere and they now flanked the gate.

“Mr. Lester, I’ll need you to come with me. I’d prefer we do this quietly and without incident but that is entirely up to you.”

Phil looked to Louise and back to the guard. He nodded his understanding and Louise watched as he was led through the gate and around the corner.

“Where are we going?” Phil and the guard weaved their way through the halls. He had no idea where he was or how to find his way out.

The guard did not slow his pace. “Your presence has been requested by members of the family.”

“Requested? That sounds like I have a choice. Do I have a choice?”

The guard did not respond but advanced quickly to a set of double doors, swiping his badge, and holding one side open for Phil to enter. The room looked just like the one Phil had met Prince Walter in, opulent but practical. Someone sat on the sofa alone, it was Adrian.

Phil rushed forward, glad to see him, but Adrian didn’t look up. Pulling a chair away from the wall, Phil sat down in front of Adrian.

“Hey, are you ok?” Phil asked, putting a hand to Adrian's shoulder but quickly pulling it back again. Tension hung between them but whether it was fear, anger, or something else entirely, Phil couldn’t tell.

After what seem like ages, Adrian spoke up. “What did you do, Phil?”

“Adrian, I…”

Adrian held up a finger, silencing Phil, just like Phil had seen Walter do to him. The thought of Adrian taking after his father, stuck here without Dan’s balancing influence, left a sour taste in Phil’s mouth. He waited for Adrian to speak, aware as always of how much was at stake for the young man in front of him.

“So, you won’t kiss him, but you’ll out him? To millions of people. Without his consent. Is that right, Phil?” Adrian finally looked Phil in the eye. “Did you think about how that might put him in danger, put you in danger? And what about us? What about me, Phil? And my mother?”

“Adrian, I’m sorry.” Phil did his best to sound composed, like he wasn’t in a complete and utter panic. “I wasn’t given any notice, I was just left, shut out. I have no way to contact any of you, no way of knowing if he’s ok.” Phil’s composure began to crack. “ I had to do something so I used the only tool I have. Dennis looks so worried. He won’t look me in the eye. God, Adrian, I wasn’t thinking of you, any of you, or England or me or anything but Dan and if he’s even fucking alive.” Phil let his head drop into his hands. He felt a hand grip his arm, and then Adrian was wrapped around him, crying into Phil’s shoulder. Phil sat up and pulled him in for a proper hug.

“Adrian, listen to me. I’m really sorry I didn’t consider you in all this but you must know that Dan was only closeted because of your father. He talked about coming out all the time. I know that was years ago, maybe I had no right, but here we are.”

Adrian pulled back. He looked so young now that his guard was down, tear stained and clearly terrified of what’s to come. “He did come out.” He said.

“What? What are you talking about?” Phil asked, confused.

“That Christmas, the year you guys met. He told me first, I had my suspicions, but he told me officially. He told me all about you and how much you meant to him. He told me I’d be a great king and that he’d always be here for me. He was scared but he was so happy, Phil. He loved you, loves you, so much.”

“I don’t understand. That’s, that’s when I lost him. He left me, Adrian.”

“It’s my fault.” Adrian’s voice was clear, resolved.

“What’s your fault?” Phil asked.

“All of it.” Adrian shook his head and tucked his feet under him. “Jesus, Phil, I was so jealous. I couldn’t just be happy for him.”

“Adrian, you were a kid.”

“You should have seen him. He stood up at the table, like he had a toast to give. It was the night before Christmas Eve. Iris was there and my Aunts, a cousin. I could never do anything like that.”

Phil didn’t know how to process this, he had no idea. “Iris was there?”

“Yeah, he must have told her already because she just sipped her wine and kept her head down.” Adrian continued. “But my father, he lost it. He went on and on about how he’s ruining Iris’ life, like she has no value outside of marrying royal. He talked about her family, her sex life. Right in front of her, in front of everyone. The things he said, Phil, it was awful. She wasn’t having it, she stood up for Dan, for herself, said she’d be just fine. Basically told Walter to fuck off. I think Dan was ready to be attacked but he hadn’t expected dad to go after Iris like that.”

“Adrian, why didn’t Dan tell me any of this?”

“I don’t know Phil, he was really shaken. And it just got worse. Dad started threatening you, saying he knows who you are, where you’re from, your family. He could ruin you, Phil. He could spin this whole thing to look like you’re some kind of stalker, or worse.”

“He threatened my family?” Fear and anger buzzed in Phil’s mind. He couldn’t go back now. He couldn’t undo what he’d done and he wasn’t sure he wanted to but he’d never considered the possibility that Dan left him to protect him. It was out there now, in the open. He had gotten ahead of Walter without realizing how crucial that step might be. He wanted to call his mum, to explain, to warn her. His family had to have seen the story. They must be so worried. All the thinking he hadn’t done rushed over him in a wave of potential implications and consequences. “Of course he did, and of course Dan retreated. He knows what your father is capable of.”

“That wasn’t it, Phil. That was just the beginning and Dan held his ground. Nothing angers my father more than challenging his authority. Dan stood up to him, he threatened to go over his head.”

“To the queen.”

Adrian nodded. “My father does not like to be reminded who is really in power. He was quiet all Christmas Eve, right up to midnight mass, but then it started. When were all heading back to our rooms. He laid into me, berated me. He had us stay behind while mum and grandma went off to bed. He pushed me to the ground, told me I was nothing, that I’d always be nothing.” Adrian’s chewed on the cuff of his jumper, his eyes shone wet as he spoke through shaky breaths. “He said if I was going to be king, he’d have to mold me into someone who could carry on his legacy. He said I’m weak, he promised to break me.”

“My god, Adrian.” Phil didn’t know what to say. He knew Walter could come in at any moment.

“Dan finally got between us. He helped me up and walked me to my room. He slept on my floor that night and every night for weeks. He didn’t leave my side except when he…”

“When he came to see me.” Phil said, suddenly aware of the heartbreak that he had lived with then, and the shadow it left behind, dull and dusty, but always there. He dropped his head and let it all sink in.

_______________________________________________________

The door slammed behind Phil as he rushed in out of the cold. He’d been exploring with Martyn and Cornelia but decided to take the third wheel out of the equation. Watching his brother and the love of his life walk hand in hand in the snow was beautiful but just a little too much. He threw off his gloves and scarf and hung his coat on a hook, then scurried to sit right in front of the roaring fire. Holding up his phone, he looked straight into the camera, love on his mind, hoping it would come through his eyes in the photo. He’d already sent Dan a photo of his breakfast and a shot of the snow angel he made. He hadn’t heard back but he understood why. He hit send on the selfie and wiggled back toward the fire, thawing out his frozen bum. Just a little more time in front of the fire alone, a little more time to just imagine his future with Dan. Soon, his mum would want help in the kitchen or his dad would start in with his stories, and there was wrapping to do. Tomorrow would be Christmas Eve.

His mind wandered to New Year’s kisses and all the favors he could ask Dan for on his birthday. He dreamt of their first Valentine’s day and Easter garden parties at Buckingham Palace. That last one gave him pause but before he could think too deeply, his back pocket vibrated.

Dan: Your nose is all red. I wish I was there to keep you warm.

Phil: I wish you were here too. This fire can’t compare.

Dan: You’re so pretty, Lester.

Phil: You’re the pretty one, can I see?

Dan: I’m not really supposed to do that.

Phil: I know. But since when do you follow the rules?

Dan: Good point.

A few seconds passed and Phil tapped the small photo that arrived. Dan’s face filled his screen. He was lying on a pillow and had held the phone up above him so Phil could just see his face and neck. His eyes were narrowed, head tipped back, and his bottom lip was between his teeth.

Phil: Woof.

Dan: LOLCI

Phil: ??

Dan: Laughing out loud, crying inside

Phil: :( me too

Another photo came though. Dan was in the same spot but he wore a genuine, gentle smile and his brown eyes twinkled like they did when Phil laughed at one of his jokes.

Phil: You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

Dan: Stop. My heart hurts. I miss you so much.

Phil: I only speak the truth.

Dan: I have to go dress for dinner.

Phil: Ok. Text me later?

Dan: The moment I escape. I love you.

He didn’t text later. Phil had wrapped all his gifts and dried the dishes that his mum had washed. His dad had fallen asleep in his recliner and Martyn and Cornelia had long since disappeared up the stairs. Catherine sat by the fire with a cup of tea, finally relaxing after a day of festive preparations. She smiled at Phil as he leaned in for a goodnight kiss to the cheek. Phil hurried upstairs and to his room, stopping in to brush his teeth. He pulled off his clothes and slipped on flannel pajamas, then crawled into bed. Phil had no idea how late these multi course royal dinners went. It was only 11, maybe Dan hadn’t gone to bed yet. He knew this could happen. He was lucky to connect with Dan at all when he was with his family. Still though, it was lonely not having that small reminder that Dan was thinking of him. He stayed up as long as he could but it had been a long day and sleep finally won out.

Everyone was already around the kitchen table when Phil stumbled in, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. His dad was dishing out huge portions of food; eggs, sausages, beans, the works. Fresh scones steamed on the table alongside clotted cream and lemon curd. This should be heaven for Phil. He sat and poked at the food on his plate, pushing his eggs from side to side. His phone sat silent where he had set it, and he watched it do nothing as he sipped his coffee. The whole family was quiet in the face of Phil’s conspicuous lack of appetite. Before they could ask what was wrong, he pushed back from the table, grabbed his phone and headed back toward the stairs.

“I’m not feeling well, I’m gonna go back to bed for a little bit.” He said to no one in particular as he made his way up the stairs.

He typed out a message for Dan, Happy Christmas Eve. Curling up on his bed, he told himself he’d have to get used to this and hit send.

A knock on his door woke him up. He hadn’t actually intended to fall asleep and disorientation had him wondering what day it was.

“Come in.” Phil sat up and rubbed his eyes, then replaced his glasses and looked up at Cornelia.

“Hey you, feeling any better? Lester Christmas Eve can’t get started without you.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sorry. What time is it?”

“Only noon. It’s all good. Come down though, we are about make a snowman.” Cornelia had sat down on Phil’s bed and placed a hand on his knee. She looked at him with so much understanding and love, he almost told her everything right then and there. Fortunately, his phone lit up and distracted them both.

“You’re blowin’ up.” Cornelia said, winking. “See you in a few.”

The phone screen was filled with notifications, 6 texts from Dan. Phil breathed a sigh of relief and read.

Dan: I’m sorry I couldn’t get away last night.

Dan: I wish I was there with your family instead of here with mine

Dan: I wish I was there with you

Dan: Sure is chilly in this castle

Dan: Please don’t be mad.

Dan: I really need to hear your voice.

Phil tapped Dan’s photo and hit call. Dan answered with a very quiet hello.

“I’m not mad. I was just worried and I miss you. I wish you were here too. I can’t really chat though, I have to go make a snowman with my family.”

“That sounds so nice.” Dan sounded far away, because he was talking from his bed in his cavernous room with the vaulted ceiling, but also because he spoke in a low near whisper, hesitating before every thought. “My family are currently all in separate rooms, silently disliking each other. Phil, you know I love you right?”

“Of course, I do. You never let me forget.” Phil said, though the question was odd.

“I’d do anything for you, Phil. You are the best thing in my life.”

“You’re the best thing in my life too. Dan, is something wrong?”

There was silence on the line for a bit. Phil knew Dan was still there, he could hear him breathing and he thought he wouldn’t mind listening to that sweet sound a while longer.

“But I’m not.” Dan finally said.

“You’re not what?”

“The best thing in your life. You have a wonderful family who love and accept you. You have real true friends. You have a life that you chose, that you built.” Dan spoke with conviction, presenting his case. “You were fine before you met me and you’d be fine without me.”

“Without you?” Phil spoke up. “I wouldn’t. Not now that I have you.”

Dan talked right over him, “You’re kind and strong and just good and I’m chaos.”

“Dan, you're scaring me a little. Please tell me what’s going on.”

Dan laughed a little under his breath. “I’m sorry. It’s just, I have to sit around this huge table again tonight, too big to have a conversation with anyone but the person next to me. I’ll be served in abject silence by wonderful people I have known since I was a baby. My parents won’t even speak except to pray thanks for the meal. This place makes me emo, I guess.”

“Can we talk later? After my family stuff is done. Like 10 or 11 maybe?”

Dan sighs, “We have late supper and then midnight mass.”

“Oh.”

“It’s ok, go make snowmen. Have the best time ever for both of us.” Dan’s trying to sound like he’s ok now, but Phil can hear worry and melancholy.

“Ok, babe. Happy Christmas.”

Bouts of sadness and frustration aren’t a new thing from Dan and Phil isn’t surprised that being with his family would bring that out. Still, he wants to hold Dan and make him feel safe and loved. He wants to make him forget everything that isn’t the two of them, drown out all the voices that say what they have isn’t ok, pretend they aren’t a secret.

Christmas Eve was always cakes and snowmen and movies and opening one gift before bed. Soon, Phil was immersed in traditions and family and any worry slipped to background. His gift was a handmade sweater from his aunt. He loved it and vowed to wear it fo Christmas Day. There was talk of Dan. Everyone wanted to hear how they met, how it was going. He could mostly tell the truth. They met in the bakery, they went to a party for their first date and hung out by the food, Phil got too drunk and Dan tucked him in. He told them all about candlelight pizza dinners and galaxy cakes and breakfast in bed.

“You sound perfect for eachother.” Catherine had said, pulling Phil in to kiss his head. Then, “Maybe we can all be together on your birthday.”

He smiled and nodded, allowing himself the fantasy, just for now, just for Christmas.

[sunshinedjh]

Summoning Love Part Seventeen: Caught

Summoning Love: Phil Lester has the ability to make anything he desires appear at will. However, with great power comes great responsibility. And along with his parents wanting to disown him, his entire school thinking he’s a freak, and being the only person in this world he knows of with a hidden power, things can get rather lonely…   Phan |Superpowers |High School Au |

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Part Sixteen

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Word Count: 1175

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Wattpad<<<

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Warnings: homophobia :(

'Daaaan?' Phil called from the bottom of the stairs. 'Yeah?' 'Are you ready yet?' Dan poked his head out from behind the banister. 'No, clearly I am not'

'Well hurry up then!' 'Okay okay, I'm hurrying'

-

After Dan had finally finished getting ready, they'd began walking to school. It was a nice day, sunny with blue skies. The conversations Dan and Phil were having were also pleasant, but neither of them could say that they were particularly ecstatic to be going to the place they were heading.

'But what if someone finds out about us?' Phil was asking worriedly. 'It's fine, no one's gonna know' 'Yeah well even if no one does we still have double maths, todays gonna suck no matter what'

'At least we don't have dodgeball again' Dan muttered, remembering the incidents of the last time.

It seemed as though Phil had remembered too, as he started laughing. 'Not so good at dodging balls are you?' 'Shut up'

The two of them arrived at the school gates a few minutes before the bell was due to go. 'I'm not with you in either of the first two lessons' Dan said sadly, looking Phil in the eyes as they came to a halt in the corridor.

Phil had an urge to grab hold of Dan's hands but he resisted. 'I guess I'll see you at break'

At that, the bell decided to ring.

Dan gave Phil a look up and down. 'I guess you will' 'Bye Dan!' Phil called out as Dan turned to walk away. It felt oddly insincere to leave without a hug or a kiss but it wasn't like they could get away with doing either of those things here.

-

The first two lessons were grim. Phil had happened to have English and then history.

His English teacher had informed him that while he'd been away, he had missed an exam on analysing poetry. So for the first hour of the morning, he'd been reluctantly shoved in a tiny exam room and made to write an essay.

The second hour of that morning consisted of Mr Harbour, Phil's history teacher, telling the class about the tragedies of World War Two.

Phil hated history, all these dates and statistics just going into his brain and flooding right back out again. Who even needed to know about the past? And the fact that it was about the war was just depressing.

He was nearly falling asleep. In fact he probably would have if he hadn't have felt a harsh smack on the head from Joe King, who happened to sit behind him, hitting him on the head with a book. Of course the teacher hadn't noticed.

'Oi' he'd whispered 'where you been? Me, Kyle and Scott missed you' 'Sure you did' Phil muttered through clenched teeth, as he rubbed his had where the book had hit.

'Lester!' Mr Harbour yelled 'Are you kidding' Philmumbled. He looked behind him to see Joe looking completely innocent and working, as though he hadn't been talking. That little shit.

'I will not tolerate my lessons being interrupted, understand?' Phil looked over at the door. He swore he just saw...

'Lester!' Mr Harbour raised his voice 'Are you even listening to me?' Phil turned his head back to face his teacher. 'Um, no... not really sir' The class around him burst out laughing.

'Right that's it, outside. I'm removing you from this lesson' 'Okay sir' Phil replied, getting up. His attention was still focused on what he'd saw outside. He grabbed his stuff as fast as he could and exited the class.

He'd been right. Dan was there, hiding behind the classroom door. 'What on earth are you doing?' Phil asked in surprise. 'I could ask you the same Phil Lester. Getting kicked out of class? My my my...'

'I got kicked out so I could come and see you, but how'd you get out so easily?' 'I asked if I could use the bathroom. And that was what I fully intended on doing... after I'd taken a quick stop on route to visit you'

Phil rolled his eyes. 'Okay well at least take me with you, before some teacher comes and asks me why I'm out here' 'Sounds like a plan'

'You know I have had the worst morning' Phil began as they started walking. 'Did you have to do that English essay too?' 'Yeah, riveting wasn't it?'

The two of them stepped inside the bathroom once they'd reached it. Dan leaned against one of the sinks and yawned. 'Don't you have to pee?' Phil asked. 'You know what, I don't think I do' Dan grinned devilishly, looking over at Phil.

'If we get caught skiving I'm blaming you' 'Well that's not nice now is it, I'm pretty sure you're the one that got yourself out of that classroom' 'Bastard' 'Nerd'

Dan walked over to Phil and looked fondly at him. He wasn't wearing his glasses today and so Dan could see his eyes much clearer.

'How long until break?' 'I'm not sure' 'Better hope it's a while' 'Wh...'

Dan leaned in closer to Phil and connected their lips. Phil made a noise in surprise, and grabbed hold of Dan's curls to steady himself. Dans lips were warm and tasted of... was that lip gloss?

Phil ran his tongue along Dan's bottom lip, he couldn't help it, it tasted nice. Dan was starting to let out little gasps that were almost moans as the kiss got faster. Phil knew they were supposed to be staying quiet but he didn't have it in him to ask Dan to be quiet.

Perhaps he should have done though. As if they had both been quiet they might have heard the sound of the bell ringing, or heard the three people who had just entered the room.

'Howell? And Lester?!' A voice from the other side of the bathroom yelled. Thankfully Dan and Phil did hear this and so they rapidly let go of each other.

'Damn I knew you two were weird but I didn't think you were gay' 'And for each other too, gross' 'Get the fuck out of here!' Phil shouted. 'Sorry, are we interrupting?'

'It's fine we'll go, we've got some news to spread now' 'Don't you dare tell anyone!' Dan stepped forward and tried to walk up to them but Phil stopped him.

'What do you think we're gonna do, not tell everyone that you guys are fags? How boring' 'You guys ought to consider yourselves lucky, that we aren't about to beat the shit out of you'

'Too right' 'Anyways catch you later losers' And with that the three of them left the bathroom.

'Fuck...' Phil whispered 'Oh this is bad, this is really bad. What are we gonna do?' 'Phil I...' 'I'm not staying here for the rest of the day' 'Phil, listen, we get bullied enough as it is. I really don't think this is going to make much of a difference'

Dan knew that wasn't exactly true, he was just trying to stay strong. As he looked over at Phil, it almost looked as though there were tears forming in his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Dan leaned back into Phil. Not to kiss him but to hug him tight.

'We got this okay?'

Next Chapter

[flippyphil]

The Boy With The Beautiful Blue Eyes {Phan}

read it on ao3: [x]

Relationship: Dan Howell/Phil Lester Word Count: 2200+ Summary: “Dan never saw eyes so blue or so beautiful. They were more captivating than anyone else’s and Dan felt like he was both drowning and floating in them.”

in which Dan falls head over heels for an artist with amazing eyes

Dan Howell had it all. He was the king of his high school, captain of the rugby team and dating the head cheerleader. He was a cardboard cutout of every perfect jock in a cheesy teen movie. He was the one that the nerdy girl-turned hot would fall head over heels for.

He had everything he could want and he knew it. He and his two best friends, PJ and Chris, had the perfect high school careers. No one could take them down.

That’s what Dan believed, anyways.

“Danny,” purred Clara, her slim fingers were twirling around in his dark brown hair, “you are coming over tonight, aren’t you?”

Dan’s lips found their way to his girlfriend’s neck, sucking it softly, not hard enough to leave a mark but enough to make her squeal.

“I wish I could, baby,” he replied, his hand around her waist, holding her tightly to him, “but you know my dad’s coming home today. Me, him and my brother are gonna have dinner with him.”

Clara pouted, her lower lip jutting far out for effect, “that’s not fair, Dannybear, you never come over anymore.”

Dan chuckled, sheepishly, “I know, lovely, I’ve been busy lately. But we will…get together…soon.”

Clara opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by the shrill of the bell. Dan smiled at her and winked before bounding off to his fourth-period class.

Art was his fourth-period class and, coincidentally, his favorite. He loved drawing people, especially eyes. Dan always believed eyes were so captivating, the different colors, the way the pupils dart around when they’re looking.

Dan didn’t love Clara, but he did love her eyes. They were dark green, hypnotizing. He could stare at them all day, which she usually mistook for a loving gaze.

The sad truth was, Dan was a lonely king. He pretended to be the best of the best, the best rugby player, the most handsome. Inside, though, Dan was longing to escape high school and leave the dump behind.

He liked to believe he was made for more than to be a high-school has-been. He imagined a future for himself that was no longer fake, suave smiles or fist bumps. To marry someone with substance (and beautiful eyes) instead of someone he was expected to.

As Dan was opening his art portfolio, someone sat down in the seat next to him. Someone Dan had never seen before. He looked over and the boy was staring down the tables, a pack of oil pastels in his hands. His hands were dirty, paint and charcoal covering his pale skin. The hands of an artist.

He had dark black hair that covered his ears.

The boy shifted in his chair and a few colored pencils rolled out of his backpack. Dan leaned down and picked them up. He tapped the new boy on his shoulder.

When the boy turned around, Dan’s heart stopped beating. His face was well drawn, a sharp nose framed it together. A pair of big, round glasses sat on the bridge of it, slightly crooked in an endearing way.

But his eye. His fucking eyes.

They were blue, a deep, icy blue. Like a cold pool in the middle of summer or a melting pond in the arctic.

Dan never saw eyes so blue or so beautiful. They were more captivating than anyone else’s and Dan felt like he was both drowning and floating in them.

“Can I help you?” the boy asked, pleasantly.

With a shaky hand, Dan held out the colored pencils.

“These…these rolled out of your backpack.”

Beautiful-eyed boy took them from Dan’s hand and inspected them, using one finger to push his glasses further up his nose. He looked up, mystic blue eyes locking in Dan’s and gave a wide open-mouthed smile.

“Thank you! I’m Phil Lester, by the way.”

“Dan Howell,” Dan replied. Phil shook his hand and looked away. Dan glanced down at his palm to see it was covered in all the colors Phil had on his. He felt his cheeks growing hotter and hotter.

As Dan buttoned up his nice black shirt in front of his full-length mirror, all his thoughts were filled with Phil Lester. More specifically, his eyes. His eyes would be the death of Dan Howell.

Rest in Peace Dan Howell, he thought, he lived a good life. Loved brother, son and rugby player. Death via a beautiful boy and his goddamn eyes.

“Dan!” his mother called, just as Dan was tugging on his socks and slipping his sneakers on, “your father’s car is outside! You better come quick, he’s double parked.”

Dan heaved a sigh as he walked down the stairs. Adrian was already at the bottom of the stairs and tapping his foot, impatiently, waiting for Dan.

“Have fun you too,” his mom smiled, kissing Dan’s forehead and Adrian’s cheek.

It was a messy divorce, his mom and his dad fought too much. They were both good people, but their personalities clashed far too often. It was mutual too, but that didn’t ease any of the pain that Dan felt when his parents told them they were splitting.

It made no sense to Dan, how two people could declare their undying love for each other and vow their lives to one another and just…take it back. Love is love, Dan thinks, and it should be unbroken. Too bad Mom and Dad don’t think that way.

He and Adrian made their way to their Dad’s maroon car. Dan got in the passenger’s seat and Adrian in the back. His father smiled at the two, fist-bumped Dan and high-fives Adrian and they headed out to the diner.

Adrian was babbling about some middle school affair that Dan couldn’t care less about. His elbow was on the car window and his face was pressed into the palm of his hand. As he stared out, watching cars and buildings zoom by, his and began to wander to Phil Lester, as it had the entirety of the day.

He wondered if anyone ever had a heart attack from seeing Phil’s eyes, dying instantly. Dan bitterly wished that had happened to him because now he was suffering. All he wanted to do was kiss those rosy lips that bent into a perfect smile and god, just get lost in those eyes for hours.

When Dan walked into art class the next day, he gave a half smile when Phil was already sitting next to his seat.

“Hi,” Phil said, opening his portfolio and pulling out a picture of a flower vase. Dan peered over at it and laughed.

“Why just the vase?”

Phil shrugged, “I couldn’t find flowers pretty enough to put in the vase.”

Dan was silent. Phil wasn’t a normal new kid, not desperate to get in with a good crowd. His art spoke numbers though, the coloring especially.

“Alright class, today we’re going to start a new project. And it’s a partner project!”

Dan’s breath hitched and he looked over at Phil, “do you…wanna be partners?”

Phil gave him that smile again, the million dollar one which made Dan want to jump out the window, right then and there.

“Sure!”

“The project is a joint painting. You have to work together, really make your art style flow together to look like one, cohesive painting. You may take it home if you don’t finish it by the end of class…BEGIN!”

Phi stands up and comes back with a paint palate. It’s filled with light yellow and pink pastels. Mint green and dark green. And blue, an icy blue. Just like his eyes, Dan thinks, his breath softening.

“I thought,” Phil brushes at his bangs, shyly, “we could paint some flowers. Y’know…for my empty vase.”

Dan looks at him and beams as well (god, this boy makes me a weak sap), “good idea. Start sketching it?”

Dan finds their art styles blend together perfectly, they compliment each other to the point where it seems like one, talented artists had done it instead of two teenagers who barely know each other.

It makes Dan happy, to see Phil’s gorgeous eyes with a determined set to them. The way he sticks his tongue out slightly in concentration, his west flicking back and forth as he paints.

Dan feels a blush creeping up his neck and coloring his eyes a light pink as his hand nudges Phil’s accidentally, and their paintbrushes hit.

Phil looks up, a red blush dusting his cheeks as well. Then, he giggled (this really is the day I die, Dan swoons to himself) and continued to work.

They didn’t end up finishing in class, to Phil invites Dan to his house. Dan drives him.

They sit in Dan’s fancy silver sports car, Phil’s hands are held together in his lap and he stares straight ahead.

“It’s a nice car,” Phil comments, fiddling with the lock on the door. Dan chuckles, backing out of his parking spot.

“I suppose it is. My parents got it for me, sort of a ‘sorry we’re splitting up, take a car’ present.”

“You’re parents are separated?” Phil asks, peering at Dan with wide, curious eyes. Dan notes in his mental filing cabinet that when he wants to know something, Phil’s eyes almost glow. Like an aquamarine gem in direct sunlight.

“Yeah, but it’s okay. I guess. I don’t understand it, but I live with it.”

“Ah,” Phil says and the two head out on the road, Phil directing Dan where to go.

“Phil? Is that you?” a woman’s voice rings out from what seems to be the kitchen. Dan and Phil slip their shoes off and Phil’s mother comes out. She spots Dan and her happy expression turns into a suggestive one, as she winks at Phil, “oh! I see you brought a friend…”

Phil’s eyes widen and he shakes his head, groaning, “oh god, MOM! He’s my art partner!”

Dan chuckles and extends his hand, “I’m Dan Howell,”

“Ooh, good manners too,” she says, her handshake was firm. Then, she nudged Phil, “he’s a keeper.”

“I’m sorry about my mom,” Phil said, once they got to his room. His walls were lined with posters and drawings, along with strings of fairy lights, “she thinks that because I’m gay, she should set me up with every good-looking boy in existence.”

Dan laughed, “it’s nice your mom cares…also, thank you, I have been told my looks are second to none.”

Phil blushed at the comment, but then began to set up their supplies on the floor. Dan was staring at him all the while.

He liked to pick up on small details. Like the tiny, hardly noticeable freckles that dotted the tip of his nose. Or how his hair would fall, shadowing his eyes when he leaned down.

But when he looked up, Dan’s heart would always pound a million times a second. Dan noticed there were specks of green floating around in the blue ocean. They were like two perfectly set sapphires, adorning an already perfect face.

“You’re staring at me,” Phil’s voice was hushed and his fingers come to Dan’s cheeks, “again. Do I have something on your face?”

“W-what?” Dan was flustered as he struggled to find a reason to give, though there really was no explanation there, “no, no! I was just…um…”

“Dan,” Phil looked up, he was holding a long paintbrush and you could almost see the shyness radiating from his lovely pupils, “I’ve seen you staring at me, ever since you met. Why?”

Dan let out a shaky breath, “your eyes. They’re, um, they’re almost hypnotizing…it’s a little crazy actually and I-“

“Everyone in the school says to watch out for Dan Howell,” Phil cut him off, fiddling with the paintbrush, “that he rules the school. You’re the king, don’t give two shits to anyone. But then I meet you, and you stare at me. And it’s so tender…and I start to wonder. I wonder if you’re really the Dan Howell everyone says you are.”

“Phil,” Dan begins, then he realizes he has no explanation. None, except for one. He was in love with Phil, he wanted to stare at his eyes forever. So he doesn’t the most rational thing possible, he kisses Phil Lester.

Phil’s eyes fly open in shock when their lips meet. Then, he closes then and his warm lips begin to kiss back.

Dan’s fingers inch their way towards Phil’s hair, running through the soft tufts on the nape of Phil’s neck. His kiss is deep, passionate and Dan focuses on channeling every ounce of emotion he feels towards Phil in the kiss.

He knows Phil can feel it because Phil its out a soft moan and then a giggle. That same giggle that has the power to paralyze Dan. Phil’s still holding the paintbrush and it tapes against Dan’s back, Phil’s arm was slung over Dan’s shoulder.

They kissed and they kissed and it seemed like time stopped. It wasn’t like when Dan kissed Clara or any other girl at the school. It was special, because what Dan felt for Phil was real.

He was the mysterious new boy, who drew vases that were empty and was kind. The one that read people like a magazine and wasn’t afraid to confront the most popular boy in school. He and his beautiful eyes had drawn Dan in and it was fucking real.

When they pulled apart, they were breathless. Their foreheads pressed together and Dan rubbed his thumb underneath Phil’s right eye.

“So are we gonna draw some flowers for your vase now, or what?” Dan asks, and Phil laughs.

Dan’s flower is blue. The same blue of the boy he fell in love with.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Strangers To Friends (2) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: September 25th, 2023

part one

A Change In The Weather (ao3) - krissyxlove

Summary: Nobody cares and the world has forgotten about me.

Those words were messily sketched and displayed in front of a young homeless man named Dan. Typically, for Dan, those words were true. What happens though when a chance of fate brings a young, successful, weatherman to him?

Nobody cares and the world has forgotten about me.

Typically, those words remained true. Today however, those words would be eaten.

A Shining Star (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Dan was a poor law student who loved drag queens and hoped to master the Art. Phil was having a hard time in life but wanted to help queers kids to get their life sorted and to be a good father.

A Tale of Life and Death (ao3) - croissantbleu (orphan_account)

Summary: "People always gave him way too much credit. Or they were scared of him, thinking he belonged to the “dark side of magic”. As if there was such a thing. He couldn’t remember how many times he’d explained that magic was neutral, it was merely a tool allowing to reach an end. By itself, it was neither good or bad. What truly mattered were the intentions of people who used it."

Or the one in which Phil is a necromancer, and Dan needs his help.

Chapter Two (ao3) - HandleWithCare

Summary: All Phil wanted was the newest Stephen King novel. What he found instead was even better and may have even changed his life. No matter how good or bad chapter one is, sometimes, you just have to be brave and turn to chapter two.

don't be afraid, just believe (ao3) - TsingaDark

Summary: There was a rumour on campus that someone had died in the East Wing and had been haunting it ever since. Dan, for his part, thought it was utter crap. Even if someone had died there - which he highly doubted - they would not be haunting that place because ghosts didn't even exist.

I'm Ashamed Of The Dark Places I Have Been (ao3) - ellehcorx

Summary: Phil has been punishing himself after a recent break up. He hadn’t slept in days, he’s drunk daily, and he finds himself in strangers’ beds. After stumbling into a church to take shelter from the rain, he meets Dan who helps him decrease his guilt.

It's So Meta Even This Acronym (ao3) - Dieupardonne, Mazabrei (Dieupardonne)

Summary: Dan Howell and Phil Lester lead anything but normal lives, but they were content with the direction they’d taken and happy with their current situation. But soon, they begin to realize that things aren’t right anymore; they’re not in the world they should be.

“That’s because you’re ruining our fucking lives, you sadist,” Dan said, scowling at the ceiling. He seemed to be ignoring the fact that his insolence would have consequences.

“What stupid trope are you putting us in next?” Phil asked wearily.

“It doesn’t even matter, does it?” Dan said, “They’re going to keep writing it as long as they want. They’ll find a trope.”

“But only if people read it,” Phil said.

“Then don’t read this stupid, overblown story!” Dan yelled at the ceiling, “You’re enabling this horrible author. You’re making us suffer.” While Dan was speaking, Phil had a realization.

“All of this…” Phil said in horror, “All of this dialogue we’re giving. We’re helping them shill this story.”

let chance take me to your shore (ao3) - basl

Summary: dan and phil are witches that somehow find each other.

Networking (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: Phil isn't expecting much out of the temporary job he gets at his local insurance company; a steady paycheck, a chance to make some business connections, maybe turning it into a full time position? Mostly just something to get his parents off his back for the next few months until he can figure out his next move. What he certainly isn't expecting is Dan Howell; the terribly cute guy who is definitely flirting with him and also in some sort of uncertain terms his boss. How will Phil navigate his blossoming feelings for someone who is most definitely off limits?

puppy love (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: it's just a routine day in the park for Phil and his new puppy Willow, when they get a surprise visit from a stranger named Dan and his dog Scully. the dogs become fast friends and Phil thinks that maybe he and Dan are on their way to becoming friends too.

Self-Conclusion (ao3) - ellehcorx

Summary: Fade in, start the scene. Enter Dan Howell - a 20 year old boy stood at the edge of a bridge, contemplating death. In the shadows appears Phil Lester, a stranger with a painful past who tries to talk Dan down.

She's Got the Look (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Diana would have never thought that being constantly late would lead to meeting the most beautiful girl she had ever seen and change her life forever.

Special Delivery (ao3) - phantasticworks

Summary: Dan Howell receives a package he definitely didn't order, but the man who did order it is... well, he's rather interesting. And the object he's ordered... well, it's odd, to say the least.

Surprise Phil-lings (ao3) - smilesaretoxic

Summary: Phil's birthday is coming up and he is in need of a cake. PJ decides to get him one with a special filling. Awkwardness, fluff, and some raunchy times ensue.

Thunder Only Happens When It's Raining (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Dan meets Phil at the lowest moment in his life and is immediately enchanted by him, but nobody is perfect - not even those with good intentions and a kind heart.

This is the story of two imperfect people trying to do their best, to find love and strive in life. They gravitate towards each other at every turn, sometimes dancing in harmony, other times colliding.

Under the trees and shooting stars (ao3) - croissantbleu (orphan_account)

Summary: Dan’s parents have insisted that he comes with them on a family holiday at a hiking camp in the middle of the woods, and he isn’t too happy about that for various reasons. Until he meets the son of the owners, who works there

What is the Name? (ao3) - linguisticswithlester

Summary: A curly headed barista becomes smitten with a new quiffed customer that comes into the coffee shop. Taking a chance, he makes a bold move that results in a battle of cute nicknames and feelings that could lead to a new adventure.

What Life Could Be (ao3) - Nocturnella

Summary: Dan’s life has not gone as planned. He’s trapped in a dead-end job with no formal education and no real life outside of losing himself in video games. Enter disaster in the form of Phil.

Meanwhile, the release of the new virtual reality game Half Moon Village gives Dan the escape he’s so desperately been looking for. In the game Dan can be whoever he wants, and as Cloud he meets the heroic and adorably awkward Fylgon who saves him at every turn and is always quick to share the spoils of his adventures. The only problem? Fylgon is in love with someone else. Oh, and Dan isn't even sure he's a real person.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

100k+ Fics (2) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: June 13th, 2023

part one, part three, part four

A Different Kind of Philly (ao3) - NiniMeggie

Summary: Dan is getting to an age where he is meant to be looking for a bride from one of the neighbouring kingdoms. After messengers are sent from various kingdoms from both lords and kings offering their daughters’ hands, Dan has a lot to consider. His father sends invites to the interested parties of the top three kingdoms and tells his son to pick whichever filly his heart desires. After meeting them, he thinks the Philly he wants is one his father would not approve of.

A Little Different (ao3) - New_Blue_Stuff

Summary: The first wars brought the end of the majority of life on earth. Now, there are two remaining nations, who continue to fight.

Abnormals are human beings with special abilities, as a result of their genetics.

Chris and Phil are abnormals and have fought the war for as long as they can remember. Only now, they have to train a group of new abnormals, who need their abilities and bodies to be sharpened, alongside their usual responsibilities. They quickly find themselves getting attached, to some more than others.

However, the ending of the war is getting closer and closer, the stakes are getting higher and higher.

With change, comes risk. How long does it take for the world to topple down?

And Then I Met Phil (fanfiction.net) - strawberry4life 

Summary: Dan Howell hated his life. Ever since the death of his parents, everything went spiraling out of control and he isn't able to gain control of his situations anymore. So he turns to the one thing hurting him most: his razor. But when he meets Phil, will the life he hates turn into something he will love again?

Come What May (ao3) - PhantasticFiction

Summary: Phil Lester usualy wasn’t one to go to strip clubs. But after being coaxed into it by a couple of his friends he meets the ever hypnotizing Greyson Bear (Dan Howell). Easily falling in love with him Phil works to save Dan from the underworld of prostitution.

Disturb the Universe (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary:  Dan and Phil are a successful YouTube duo, best friends and next door neighbors. Phil’s married with two kids and Dan’s long term boyfriend is like the queen’s cousin or something. Their lives are fine–perfectly acceptable–but when two unrelated emergencies land Dan and Phil living together for the first time since 2012, they’re forced to examine the choices they’ve made and confront the feelings they’ve kept quiet for nearly a decade.

Equilibrium (ao3) - phan_anon

Summary: It's 2016, and Omega!Dan doesn't need an Alpha to be happy, thank you very much. He's quite content living with best friend, flat mate, business partner, co-author, ex-boyfriend, and occasional lover, Beta!Phil. Quite content, that is, until an unplanned pregnancy disturbs the comfortable equilibrium they've established over the years...

Exile (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: Exile's a fucking bitch

Dan finds himself kicked out of town and searching for literally anywhere out of the rain - somehow, he must have just enough luck, as he stumbles upon a seemingly abandoned house in the middle of the forest.

Except it isn't abandoned, and the resident isn't exactly...normal...

First Impressions (Perhaps I Was Wrong) (ao3) - Ablissa

Summary: Phil Lester goes back to university for his third year, expecting to live in the dorms with his childhood best friend PJ. That’s how it’s been for the past years, after all. However, due to a mistake of some sort, he finds himself with a new roommate to spend the semester with.

Daniel Howell, three years his junior, has rich brown eyes, a laptop to hide them behind, and not more than two words to spare in Phil’s direction. Phil is no fortune teller, but he foresees the upcoming months will be filled with a whole lot of awkward silence.

Unless, of course, Dan proves him wrong… Could one little mistake lead to something entirely life-changing? Perhaps it could. After all, nearly everything changes when Phil meets Dan.

Flashbacks (ao3) - deargOd

Summary:  “Stop crying Phil,” I say, in my fucking terrible attempt to cheer him up. He won’t though. Nothing’s going to cheer him up, not right now. He just needs time I suppose. “It’ll be okay.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Phil sobs, “It’s all fucking ruined, I should never have told them.”

“You had to,” I tell him, “You know that.”

Here's Hope (ao3) - CanYourDan, EmrysBeard

Summary: In the past Omegas were treated terribly, however due to new laws in England, this practice has become illegal. Phil Lester works for an Omega rescue center, and so far things have been all business, however when a maltreated Omega named Dan comes in, things become complicated for Phil as he does the thing the center always advises against, his heart becomes involved, and he feels like it's breaking.

In My Way - ineverhadmyinternetphase

Summary: Daniel Howell is 21 and Britain’s newest star. He’s just been cast in the much-anticipated film adaption of Last Man Standing, the popular teen fantasy novel with a huge fanbase hanging off his every tweet. In other words, Dan has made it big.

Phil Lester couldn’t care less. He’s a stressed out PHD student working part time at a bookshop while he struggles to get into post-production. He’s 26 and still lives in a tiny flat on the fifth floor of a building with a lift more broken than it is in use. He loves books, but he thinks big film adaptions screw with the plot too much.

Needless to say, Phil is less than impressed when Last Man Standing is getting filmed in his hometown. And he certainly doesn’t want anything to do with obnoxious, arrogant, so irritatingly perfect leading actor Daniel Howell.

In The Darkness, With You (ao3) - Ablissa

Summary: Phil, 28, video editor. Phil doesn't believe in love at first sight, and that is not about to change anytime soon. But what about lust? Just two short weeks ago, he'd say no, definitely not.

Not anymore. Not since he first locked eyes with Dan, the new intern at the company he works for. Not since he first thought, "I want him".

Phil's wish does come true, but there's a catch. It doesn't mean anything.

L'Histoire Française (ao3) - danfanciesphil (thejigsawtimess)

Summary: Since he can remember, Dan has had a bad experience with teachers. When desperate times call for him to take a job as a TA at his local secondary school, he is dreading the experience. Cue Phil Lester: eclectic, vivacious History teacher whom the students and teachers adore for his fantastical, unique methods and sincere passion for his job. Dan was expecting all sorts of drama in his new job, but falling for a member of the faculty was not part of it.

Love Yourself - imnotinclinedtomaturity

Summary: A lot of things about Dan’s life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he’s got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He’s currently lacking inspiration, he’s rather lonely, and he’s stuck in a rut. Dan’s been going to the same coffee shop for years. It’s quiet, it’s quaint, it’s near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that he’s a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista.

Six Ravens (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: Dan meets Prince Philip at a cyberbullying campaign, but what starts as a working relationship grows complicated when Dan realizes he’s falling for the prince and maybe, just maybe, he’s not alone in his feelings.

Someday - philsdrill

Summary: “Everyone had a link with their soulmates, some could hear some of their partners thoughts, some had a tattoo that would appear with their partners name; for me, I knew when they got sick.” For a while Phil has thought that his soulmate might have an eating disorder and doesn’t expect to meet him in the restaurant where he works.

Teenagers (ao3) - dizzy, waveydnp

Summary: When Phil's family packs up and moves to a new house in a new neighbourhood, he's fully prepared to be lonely and miserable. And he is.

Until he meets the boy who lives across the street.

The Era of the Wingless Angel (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: The man, the myth, the legend! Singer-Songwriter Dan Howell is celebrating the 10th anniversary of his debut with a tell-all interview. How did his father’s departure from his life affect his songwriting? Why did his marriage to his background dancer fail? And are he and producer Phil Lester romantically involved? Tune in to find out.

Trust Me, I'm Broken Too (ao3) - natigail

Summary: The Lesters – the royal family of his homeland – was nothing like Dan thought they would be. Well, the King was just as horrible as he had heard but the King’s brother’s son, who was third in line for the throne, was nothing like Dan thought he’d be. Dan had been adrift for three years going from one “place of employment” to another, only his life was seen as worthless and he was more property than an employee. He had never imagined he’s end up as the property of Prince Philip.

The Prince had no intention of ever taking on a personal servant, which was a fancy name to disguise the fact a law essentially enslaved people. Phil often had to do things he didn’t want to or risk being removed from the succession to the crown. If that happened, who knew who his tyrant of an uncle would pick as a successor? When pressured into the choosing, he’d wanted to go for the most innocent, young girl, but hard brown eyes caught his attention instead.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Married!Phan Masterlist

Links Last Checked: March 30th, 2022

part two, part three

11:11 (ao3) - justhavesex

Summary: In which Dan makes a wish and ends up in a parallel universe where him and Phil got together.

A Day In The Life Of Dan And Phil On Their Honeymoon (ao3) - umathurmanjustwatchedmehavesex

Summary: It's November 2017, Dan and Phil have just gotten married, and Phil uploads a Day In The Life of them sightseeing around the Japanese art island Naoshima during their honeymoon.

Alone and Lonely; A Study in Human Emotion - phanwritings

Summary: The one where they decide to get married on a whim after just meeting each other.

Baby Bear (ao3) - Sweet_Lord_Harrison

Summary: Dan and Phil Howell-Lester have been married for two years and decide that they want to start a family. They get a surrogate parent and everything is going smoothly until things stop going at all. Things take a turn for the worst and Dan and Phil are left with pieces they have to pick up.

Call Me Mr. Lester - dxnhowell

Summary: Dan and Phil are teachers at a high school. They’re together and married but have kept their relationship a secret until a student catches them and threatens to tell the rest of the school.

Can We Learn To Love? - discoveringemily

Summary: Let’s pretend the world is a very different place, England in particular. The new monarchy has taken over. Parliament is gone. The king has total control. In this new world, there are new rules. The biggest one being that there is that marriages from this day forward are to be arranged, no matter age difference, sex, family status, etc. The parents choose for their children. In this world we meet Daniel Howell, a 13-year-old boy who is pledged to be married to a man 16 years older than him. Can these two men, despite their ages, and learn to love?

Grey Areas and Expectations (ao3) - celestialfics (orphan_account), danthrusts

Summary: When Mr. Howell and Mr. Lester both start their first years of teaching in America at the same time, the students notice their mutual British accents and immediately get to work snooping, observing, and theorizing. The curiosity of the students added to the constant “threat” of fellow teacher Ms. Christensen equals nothing short of a chaotic school year full of memes, plants, and maybe a little bit of needed privacy in the teachers’ lounge closet.

Honeymoon Surprises - dxnhowell

Summary: Dan and Phil get married and spend their honeymoon in Hawaii, and Dan decides that he wants to show the world who his husband is.

One Day - dxnhowell

Summary: pastel!dan is a kindergarten teacher and is married to punk!youtuber!phil, who he hates and doesn’t get along with at all. They’re parents forced them to marry each other. Dan is unhappy but things finally take a turn.

We're Ready - fiction-phan

Summary: It’s been a year since Dan and Phil got married and Phil can’t help but feel that it’s finally a time for them to build a family and start thinking of having kids. He’s positive that Dan will agree with him but what if he doesn’t?

Where Do Broken Hearts Go - sighgirls

Summary: Phil needs a break from his husband and their daughters and Dan is really fucking worried.

‘Why Did I Get Married’ Tag (ao3) - dannihowell (anotherdaughter)

Summary: The guys film a video.

That’s What You Get (For Waking Up in Vegas) - notanannoyingfangirl

Summary: While revisiting Vegas for Dan’s twenty fourth birthday, Dan and Phil both have a bit too much to drink…. and apparently wake up married. Dan’s not entirely sure that he wants a divorce, now he just has to convince Phil.

[flippyphil]

The King and The Guard {Phan}

Relationship: Dan Howell/Phil Lester Word Count: +1K Summary: newly crowned King Daniel escapes a party, worrying about his future as a ruler and the guard, Phil Lester, is tasked to find him. 

   All his life, Dan knew he was destined to be King. His mother and father constantly bombarded him with that destiny, reminding him nearly every day he was to be King, to lead their people wisely. To be something Dan wasn't quite sure how to be.

   Dan knew he had time, time before he was forced out of his bubble of princely-hood and into the reality of being a king. But the funny thing about time is that it creeps up on you faster than you know possible. There are no laws, you think you have an eternity to wait and then the moment is hitting you in the back of the head.

   People laughed, patted Dan on the back. Told him he was to be a great leader, that they believed in him. Important dignitaries and diplomats shook his hands, informed him that they would be in contact for trade and looked forward to a new era in his kingdom. Friends and fellow royals smiled and Dan kissed their hand, politely. Dan gave empty smiles and nodded to the meaningless chatter. He was overwhelmed, he was falling.

   The music that droned on rang in Dan's ear, the bubbly drinks spilling down his throat gave him chills. He was so fucking scared to rule. The simple thought of letting down his mom and dad, the people, made Dab's heart twist in fear. He was a kid. He couldn't rule a country, he could barely wave like a prince.

   There was little to no time that Dan found himself alone, yet he managed to slip out into the courtyard, unnoticed. Gratefully so.

   Dan took a deep breath, the fresh and crisp air was like bliss in his lungs. The new king never liked the sounds of silence, but right now, nothing sounded amazing to him.

   Alone with his thoughts, Dan wandered around the courtyard, not quite ready to submit himself back into that terrifying coronation party.

   What if he failed? What of he let down all his people, all the people that put their trust in him? What if he ended up in a war? Dan wanted to scream. he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs that he was scared, that he didn't want this. He didn't want to be king. He--

   "Your Majesty?" A voice rang out, making Dan jump. "Oh, I'm sorry to have scared you, your Majesty."

   Dan turned around, straightening his fringe. It was a guardsman, probably coming to see where he'd gone. It's not usual that the crowned king would run off at his own celebration. A pair of icy blue eyes locked with his own.

   "Oh, are you here to bring me back to the reception?" Dan asked.

   "Well, uh, yes. Your mum sent me to find you. I suppose you want to be alone at this time, I understand, I'll leave you t--"

   “Will you hate me if I do something wrong?" Dan blurted out, eyes wide. He needed to hear it from someone. He needed to know if he was going to be alright, he didn't care who answered him, he needed closure. To make sure he was going to be able to rule.

   "E-excuse me, your Majesty?" The guardsman was taken aback, as expected. He'd been working for the royal family only a few months, but never has a member talked to his so forwardly. Much less asked any bizarre, person question of him.

   "Sorry," Dan muttered, before repeating, "if I wrong you as a king, will you hate him? Will the people hate me?"

   "Wrong? How would you do something wrong, your Excellency?" The guard asked, taking a step forward.

   Dan took a shaky breath, "let's say I raise taxes and some people can't afford food, an honest mistake, however. Will those people despise me since I let them down? Even if I try to fix it, will I have failed my royal lineage?"

   "Ah, so that's what you're worried about. May I come closer, your Majesty?"

   "Yes, please do," Dan was happy this particular guard came searching for him, perhaps he could offer some insight.

   The guard took a few strides and they were facing each other. Dan studied him, he had rather pale skin but bright blue eyes that stood out in sharp contrast. Small, barely noticeable freckles dotted the bridge of his nose. Dan could feel his heart pinching, yet again, when they stared at each other.

   "Your Majesty, everyone is only human. Even you. As cliche as it might be, there is no such thing as a perfect human. You may make mistakes, but if they are of good heart, I won't hate you. Perhaps you do lead us the wrong direction, I'm sure you will do everything to lead us out. I don't think a good hearted human could hate you for making a mistake every now and then." The guard spoke slowly, his voice even and calming.

   Dan smiled, and for the first time that day, it wasn't empty or polite. It was genuine. He was going to be okay. Sometimes, Dan learned, you ony need one person to put their trust in you. One is all you need.

   "What's your name?" Dan asked.

   "Your Majesty, I don't thin--"

   "What's you name, sir?" Dan was persistent.

   "Phil Lester, your Majesty."

   "You...you can call me Dan, or Daniel, Phil."

   "But your Majesty, it isn't right for me to be so informal," Phil was wary.

   "I know," Dan said, another grin crossing his lips. "But you trust me, don't you? And I trust you. Call me Dan, please."

   A grin that matched Dan crept across Phil's face and the two were both smiling at each other. "Alright then, Dan. We should really get back, I don't want your mother worrying too much about you. You're going to be an amazing king, Dan, I believe that."

   Dan's cheeks heated up, he hoped Phil couldn't see them in the dark night sky. "Thank you, Phil. If I ever need to talk to you, or vice versa, would it be alright if I request Sir Lester to my chamber?"

   A soft chuckle erupted from Phil. "Of course it is, your Majesty."