#php if else

[okejkomputer]

before the start of the year i was like noooo no way im gona be making a game for my bachelors degree. but there im now(two weeks in) making a game and i will have to write a thesis abt it. i lichraly never played a game in my life lol

[phoenixfangs]

i didnt used to understand professors or bosses sending the most short, illegible, childish looking emails (sent from smart device tag, emojis, no capitalization, informal language, just signing it with their first name) for what is Supposed to be important work or business, until i started working in an office

i do not have the fucking energy to respond to every email with a well thought out, polite, professional, human response. ur getting an emoji reaction sent from my galaxy samsung s22+, stephanie, because after all of the reading and writing ive Been doing today, ur lucky i can even see straight

[whsprings]

.

[cachexiacomplication]

one of my most cherished memories is when I was in php and there was a thirteen year old there who did not know how to read analogue clocks. I had been talking about clocks a lot that week so when she announced that information they let us take a brief break from our life skills lesson so I could get up and teach her how to read one.

[layton-heritage-posts]

Pokemon Heritage Post

I need £10000 and a blowjob and to drink until i am no longer aware of the conscious world around me and a gunshot to the head

[mehran-tofigh]

<IMG SRC=\"jav&#x09;ascript:alert('XSS');\">

[komaedalovemail]

komaedas have you tried straw.page?

(i hope you don't mind if i make a big ollllle webdev post off this!)

i have never tried straw.page but it looks similar to carrd and other WYSIWYG editors (which is unappealing to me, since i know html/css/js and want full control of the code. and can't hide secrets in code comments.....)

my 2 cents as a web designer is if you're looking to learn web design or host long-term web projects, WYSIWYG editors suck doodooass. you don't learn the basics of coding, someone else does it for you! however, if you're just looking to quickly host images, links to your other social medias, write text entries/blogposts, WYSIWYG can be nice.

toyhouse, tumblr, deviantart, a lot of sites implement WYSIWYG for their post editors as well, but then you can run into issues relying on their main site features for things like the search system, user profiles, comments, etc. but it can be nice to just login to your account and host your information in one place, especially on a platform that's geared towards that specific type of information. (toyhouse is a better example of this, since you have a lot of control of how your profile/character pages look, even without a premium account) carrd can be nice if you just want to say "here's where to find me on other sites," for example. but sometimes you want a full website!

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neocities hosting

currently, i host my website on neocities, but i would say the web2.0sphere has sucked some doodooass right now and i'm fiending for something better than it. it's a static web host, e.g. you can upload text, image, audio, and client-side (mostly javascript and css) files, and html pages. for the past few years, neocities' servers have gotten slower and slower and had total blackouts with no notices about why it's happening... and i'm realizing they host a lot of crypto sites that have crypto miners that eat up a ton of server resources. i don't think they're doing anything to limit bot or crypto mining activity and regular users are taking a hit.

↑ page 1 on neocitie's most viewed sites we find this site. this site has a crypto miner on it, just so i'm not making up claims without proof here. there is also a very populated #crypto tag on neocities (has porn in it tho so be warned...).

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dynamic/server-side web hosting

$5/mo for neocities premium seems cheap until you realize... The Beautiful World of Server-side Web Hosting!

client-side AKA static web hosting (neocities, geocities) means you can upload images, audio, video, and other files that do not interact with the server where the website is hosted, like html, css, and javascript. the user reading your webpage does not send any information to the server like a username, password, their favourite colour, etc. - any variables handled by scripts like javascript will be forgotten when the page is reloaded, since there's no way to save it to the web server. server-side AKA dynamic web hosting can utilize any script like php, ruby, python, or perl, and has an SQL database to store variables like the aforementioned that would have previously had nowhere to be stored.

there are many places in 2024 you can host a website for free, including: infinityfree (i use this for my test websites :B has tons of subdomains to choose from) [unlimited sites, 5gb/unlimited storage], googiehost [1 site, 1gb/1mb storage], freehostia [5 sites/1 database, 250mb storage], freehosting [1 site, 10gb/unlimited storage]

if you want more features like extra websites, more storage, a dedicated e-mail, PHP configuration, etc, you can look into paying a lil shmoney for web hosting: there's hostinger (this is my promocode so i get. shmoney. if you. um. 🗿🗿🗿) [$2.40-3.99+/mo, 100 sites/300 databases, 100gb storage, 25k visits/mo], a2hosting [$1.75-12.99+/mo, 1 site/5 databases, 10gb/1gb storage], and cloudways [$10-11+/mo, 25gb/1gb]. i'm seeing people say to stay away from godaddy and hostgator. before you purchase a plan, look up coupons, too! (i usually renew my plan ahead of time when hostinger runs good sales/coupons LOL)

here's a big webhost comparison chart from r/HostingHostel circa jan 2024.

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domain names

most of the free website hosts will give you a subdomain like yoursite.has-a-cool-website-69.org, and usually paid hosts expect you to bring your own domain name. i got my domain on namecheap (enticing registration prices, mid renewal prices), there's also porkbun, cloudflare, namesilo, and amazon route 53. don't use godaddy or squarespace. make sure you double check the promo price vs. the actual renewal price and don't get charged $120/mo when you thought it was $4/mo during a promo, certain TLDs (endings like .com, .org, .cool, etc) cost more and have a base price (.car costs $2,300?!?). look up coupons before you purchase these as well!

namecheap and porkbun offer something called "handshake domains," DO NOT BUY THESE. 🤣🤣🤣 they're usually cheaper and offer more appealing, hyper-specific endings like .iloveu, .8888, .catgirl, .dookie, .gethigh, .♥, .❣, and .✟. I WISH WE COULD HAVE THEM but they're literally unusable. in order to access a page using a handshake domain, you need to download a handshake resolver. every time the user connects to the site, they have to provide proof of work. aside from it being incredibly wasteful, you LITERALLY cannot just type in the URL and go to your own website, you need to download a handshake resolver, meaning everyday internet users cannot access your site.

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hosting a static site on a dynamic webhost

you can host a static (html/css/js only) website on a dynamic web server without having to learn PHP and SQL! if you're coming from somewhere like neocities, the only thing you need to do is configure your website's properties. your hosting service will probably have tutorials to follow for this, and possibly already did some steps for you. you need to point the nameserver to your domain, install an SSL certificate, and connect to your site using FTP for future uploads. FTP is a faster, alternative way to upload files to your website instead of your webhost's file upload system; programs like WinSCP or FileZilla can upload using FTP for you.

if you wanna learn PHP and SQL and really get into webdev, i wrote a forum post at Mysidia Adoptables here, tho it's sorted geared at the mysidia script library itself (Mysidia Adoptables is a free virtual pet site script, tiny community. go check it out!)

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file storage & backups

a problem i have run into a lot in my past like, 20 years of internet usage (/OLD) is that a site that is free, has a small community, and maybe sounds too good/cheap to be true, has a higher chance of going under. sometimes this happens to bigger sites like tinypic, photobucket, and imageshack, but for every site like that, there's like a million of baby sites that died with people's files. host your files/websites on a well-known site, or at least back it up and expect it to go under!

i used to host my images on something called "imgjoe" during the tinypic/imageshack era, it lasted about 3 years, and i lost everything hosted on there. more recently, komaedalovemail had its webpages hosted here on tumblr, and tumblr changed its UI so custom pages don't allow javascript, which prevented any new pages from being edited/added. another test site i made a couple years ago on hostinger's site called 000webhost went under/became a part of hostinger's paid-only plans, so i had to look very quickly for a new host or i'd lose my test site.

if you're broke like me, looking into physical file storage can be expensive. anything related to computers has gone through baaaaad inflation due to crypto, which again, I Freaquing Hate, and is killing mother nature. STOP MINING CRYPTO this is gonna be you in 1 year

...um i digress. ANYWAYS, you can archive your websites, which'll save your static assets on The Internet Archive (which could use your lovely donations right now btw), and/or archive.today (also taking donations). having a webhost service with lots of storage and automatic backups can be nice if you're worried about file loss or corruption, or just don't have enough storage on your computer at home!

if you're buying physical storage, be it hard drive, solid state drive, USB stick, whatever... get an actual brand like Western Digital or Seagate and don't fall for those cheap ones on Amazon that claim to have 8,000GB for $40 or you're going to spend 13 days in windows command prompt trying to repair the disk and thenthe power is gong to go out in your shit ass neighvborhood and you have to run it tagain and then Windows 10 tryes to update and itresets the /chkdsk agin while you're awayfrom town nad you're goig to start crytypting and kts just hnot going tot br the same aever agai nikt jus not ggiog to be the saeme

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further webhosting options

there are other Advanced options when it comes to web hosting. for example, you can physically own and run your own webserver, e.g. with a computer or a raspberry pi. r/selfhosted might be a good place if you're looking into that!

if you know or are learning PHP, SQL, and other server-side languages, you can host a webserver on your computer using something like XAMPP (Apache, MariaDB, PHP, & Perl) with minimal storage space (the latest version takes up a little under 1gb on my computer rn). then, you can test your website without needing an internet connection or worrying about finding a hosting plan that can support your project until you've set everything up!

there's also many PHP frameworks which can be useful for beginners and wizards of the web alike. WordPress is one which you're no doubt familiar with for creating blog posts, and Bluehost is a decent hosting service tailored to WordPress specifically. there's full frameworks like Laravel, CakePHP, and Slim, which will usually handle security, user authentication, web routing, and database interactions that you can build off of. Laravel in particular is noob-friendly imo, and is used by a large populace, and it has many tutorials, example sites built with it, and specific app frameworks.

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addendum: storing sensitive data

if you decide to host a server-side website, you'll most likely have a login/out functionality (user authentication), and have to store things like usernames, passwords, and e-mails. PLEASE don't launch your website until you're sure your site security is up to snuff!

when trying to check if your data is hackable... It's time to get into the Mind of a Hacker. OWASP has some good cheat sheets that list some of the bigger security concerns and how to mitigate them as a site owner, and you can look up filtered security issues on the Exploit Database.

this is kind of its own topic if you're coding a PHP website from scratch; most frameworks securely store sensitive data for you already. if you're writing your own PHP framework, refer to php.net's security articles and this guide on writing an .htaccess file.

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but. i be on that phone... :(

ok one thing i see about straw.page that seems nice is that it advertises the ability to make webpages from your phone. WYSIWYG editors in general are more capable of this. i only started looking into this yesterday, but there ARE source code editor apps for mobile devices! if you have a webhosting plan, you can download/upload assets/code from your phone and whatnot and code on the go. i downloaded Runecode for iphone. it might suck ass to keep typing those brackets.... we'll see..... but sometimes you're stuck in the car and you're like damn i wanna code my site GRRRR I WANNA CODE MY SITE!!!

↑ code written in Runecode, then uploaded to Hostinger. Runecode didn't tell me i forgot a semicolon but Hostinger did... i guess you can code from your webhost's file uploader on mobile but i don't trust them since they tend not to autosave or prompt you before closing, and if the wifi dies idk what happens to your code.

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ANYWAYS! HAPPY WEBSITE BUILDING~! HOPE THIS HELPS~!~!~!

-Mod 12 @eeyes

[kratergate]

Hello hello! I'm part of the fundraising initiative by Transmasculine Philippines: PINOY QUEER ARTISTS 4 PALESTINE!

I'm doing fully rendered, half body commissions with simple backgrounds for 550 php! (around 10 USD)

As much as possible, ALL payments must be sent through GCash. (QR code down below!)

However, for international folks, you can send the money through Paypal. (Though, if you're able to use GCash, please just do so. We're trying to avoid Paypal fees/loss of funds!)

If you're interested, feel free to message me here on tumblr OR email me at krater.gate@gmail.com !

(I just put my email on the post bc it's being posted on diff platforms lmao)

Looking for something else? Don't worry, there are more artists! Just look through the thread linked above if you're looking for more options :D

Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions :] Thank you and have a good day!

[kommandonuovidiavoli]

So, I’ve been thinking about the KND Mourning AU by arty0315

& the Toiletnator SPY Au made by U & I can’t help but wonder…What if Lou as the Toiletnator sees Mella & Evan’s graves during a mission?

how would he react? Would he break character? What would he do after words? Would he tell anyone? Would Irwin know about it & perhaps talk about it with him over a drink or 2(considering he’s seen the graves before) Would Lou be upset that Irwin never told him?

considering he’s a SPY for the KND he probably feels some guilt over not saving those 2 kids like”My job is to protect children,yet I couldn’t even save 2” unless I’m wrong whiz in this case, I’m stupid as all hell XD

anyways thanks for reading so much of this

I think he might go through some stages like everyone else. As always, Mourning AU by @artsygirl0315

[tw: drinking, self-destruction, death]

Stage 1: Denial

He was called to check on Sector PHP, who's been acting strange in the last days. Upon arriving, he announced himself with his usual self-confident, loud introduction... which got cut short when he saw the graves. From there, all kinds of emotions went through him, but most of all, he couldn't believe that two KIDS were apparently gone. And he didn't know about it. No one told him about it. Or... maybe no one knew about it.

His "visit" was cut short as Phoebe kicked him out. No one is allowed, villains especially.

But even after he was gone, he had many questions and a familiar, heavy feeling in his heart.

--

Stage 2: Anger

As he returned to the Adult Division, he felt rage growing and he decided to let it out by destroying some of the landscape around himself. Trees were knocked down, rocks were smashed, but nothing could calm those feelings that were just getting more and more persistent.

Did Vicky know and just didn't tell him? Did Moonbase know and didn't tell them? What the fuck was happening there? Why were two kids dead???

--

Stage 3: Bargaining

He started to get low on energy. He fell down on his knees, crying as he had never done in years.

They could've taken him! He was an adult, he lived long enough! Those kids had a LOT to live for! They had to grow up, fulfil their dreams, and see the world... and everything was just cut short. And he couldn't do anything about it. He failed his mission of keeping kids safe from the other side.

This brought him to past times he thought were gone, but now made every single scar from those times hurt like hell. It was like he failed one of his siblings again.

Taking off that costume he now felt he couldn't wear anymore, he walked up to a place he shouldn't even be close to: a bar.

--

Stage 4: Depression

He was worthless. He was a disgrace. He should've died after falling from that cliff. He should have said no to Vicky when she proposed for him to join the Adult Division. He was ready to push daisies and quit; he couldn't go on after what happened.

He ordered a drink. And another. And another. And again, another one. The taste of alcohol helped him relax, and slowly he got intoxicated enough that his bad feelings were almost gone. He had missed it, after 7 long years of nothing.

He didn't even notice someone sat next to him.

--

Stage 5: Acceptance

As he was about to take another sip, the bottle was taken from his hand. He turned to see who DARED to do it... just to find the last person he wanted to see. "This shit is bad for you." Irwin let out. "You get addicted easily and end up destroying yourself." "So what? I deserve this." Lou replied, already intoxicated, looking away from the other man. "... Numbuh 510 told me about your visit. ... you saw them, didn't you." Lou got up, grasping on Irwin's shirt and pulling him closer to his face. "YOU KNEW?? YOU'VE BEEN KNOWING THIS FOR THIS WHOLE TIME AND NEVER SAID ANYTHING?? WHY???" Irwin sighed. "Because I made a promise. They want to handle it their own way. And if we interfere, we risk losing all of them. Do you understand?"

Lou slowly let go of the shirt, his words settling into his foggy mind. He was silent for a moment before he looked up at him.

"What do we do now...?"

"We wait."

He didn't like that answer. Tears started rolling down his cheeks as he sat down once more, resting both arms on the counter and burying his head into them, as he started crying again, more desperate.

Irwin patted his back, taking away the last bottle he ordered. He knew too well where that was coming from.

It will take time.

--

Aftermath:

Lou took 3 days off his spy duty (not that anyone but people in the Adult Division noticed). He stayed at Vicky's house because he didn't want to be alone.

Vicky noticed how he somehow became milder than his usual self, almost shutting down and not caring about anything. Irwin visited every single day, making sure he was ok. He didn't even answer Sydney's calls or texts in those days.

Eventually, he got back to his usual self. He just needed those days to calm down completely. He assured Vicky he was ready to get back to his duties, and then, the Toiletnator was back into the Villains' lines.

Searching.

Because if it was an adult villain who did it...

One single adult life for two kids' sounded unfair. But good enough to him.

[ineffablecabbage]

Robby/Langdon #46 for the fanfic memes

(lolololol it's here eventually. Final word count: 2983 words)

"Life goes on, even when it's not fair," Alan, Frank's detox partner, tells Frank on his first day of rehab. "That might be advice from my stint of rehab. Or it might be from a country song. But whichever one it is, it is fucking accurate."

Frank, who is in the middle of some pretty gross withdrawals of his own, can only agree.

When it comes time to start work again, Frank is pretty sure that he is never going to forget Alan's little saying, no matter where it came from. Because nothing seems fair.

It's only one more year he reminds himself. Then his residency will be finished and he can leave. He can go somewhere fresh and be an attending somewhere that nobody knows him. The PHP requirements will still be there, which means meetings and drug tests and all of that happy bullshit in order to keep his license, but it won't have a whole hospital full of people who clearly know all of his mistakes.

They shouldn't; he wonders who told them. But in the end, he supposes it doesn't matter.

It's only a year. He can suffer that long and consider it atonement.

So he goes back to work, and life does indeed go on, even when it's not fair.

~*~

In general, Frank's rule for work is to talk to his coworkers when they talk to him and then mind his own business and go the fuck home.

This works pretty well. Mel talks to him often, as does Cassie. Collins, newly promoted to attending, is friendly in the professional kind of way that makes him think that he will definitely miss her after the year is up. Dana definitely makes it clear that she is rooting for him. She asks the kind of personal information that he doesn't volunteer anymore, about home.

He makes it vague enough; does everyone need to know that he's getting divorced? No, this place has enough gossip on him. If she notices his reluctance, she doesn't say so.

The other residents and med students report to him or they don't; since Collins became an attending, she's put a new system into place about dividing up the junior residents so that they now have assigned permanent senior residents. Santos is assigned to Samira, so that's one less thing he has to worry about, and since she isn't his problem, he doesn't have to talk to her. So he doesn't.

It's just a year, after all.

Then there's Robby.

Robby is chief attending. Sometimes he asks questions. Frank answers them. Sometimes, Frank has to make a report to him, so he does. But that is the extent of their interactions.

Unlike with everyone else, Frank misses all of the stupid bullshit he used to have with Robby. But he remembers back to that day in the ambulance bay, and if it is possible for there to be phantom pain in your chest, Frank definitely feels it.

He doesn't know how to fix it. They told him in rehab that some relationships simply never recover, and he has to accept that.

He doesn't know how to do that, either.

~*~

Frank keeps up his Instagram mostly to keep up with his old marathon buddies. Thanks to the back injury, more marathons are likely out forever. His therapist suggests that maybe he should delete the Instagram if it causes him too much distress, but Katie in his NA meeting suggests that he should look at staying sober as his new marathons.

So he starts posting dumb inspirational quotes and following NA pages, and all the other stereotypical addict shit that you do when you're first in recovery.

It's cheesey, but he smiles and feels some sweet, sweet validation when Cassie, Abby, Samira, Dana, and even fucking Abbot likes his posts. Since when is Abbot on Instagram? Is it that old? Maybe he should delete it.

But then he notices a like from Jake, and something in his chest seizes up. That seems like forbidden territory.

It feels even worse when Jake comments. good job, buddy. keep it up! ;)

Frank doesn't talk to people, except for when he has to, but people still talk. He's heard about the big blow out that Robby and Jake had. He knows they aren't on good terms.

Frank very hesitantly writes, ty! and tries to move on with his life without feeling like combination of Brutus and Benedict Arnold.

Except, the likes keep coming, and so do the comments, and Frank starts to think that perhaps Judas is a more appropriate metaphor.

~*~

"So what am I supposed to do?" Frank asks his therapist.

His therapist hums. "What do you want to do?" he asks, and not for the first time, Frank thinks that therapy is a fucking scam.

So he asks Katie, in his NA meeting. "Well," she said. "Boundaries are good. But are you upset that Jake is contacting you, that he is a memory of your relationship with Robby, or that Robby isn't contacting you?"

"I'm not sure we ever had a relationship," Frank says.

"That's avoidance," Katie tells him. "That won't solve your problem or keep you sober."

Frank thinks back to the day in that ambulance day. "I only apologized to my family, you know. They are the only ones I think I owed anything to, for step nine. Do you think that's avoidance?"

"You know that we can't make those decisions for each other," Kate says. "You're in the medical field. Harm reduction vs. healing, Dr. Langdon."

If he was any good at that, he wouldn't be here now, would he? ~*~

So, he starts small.

He corners Dana in the lounge, like he did that day in September, takes a deep breath, and says, "You know about Step nine?"

She smiles, her knowing smile and pats his arm. "Of course I do, kid. You need to get it out of your system?" He nods. "Well, then go ahead."

"I'm sorry for being so selfish. I'm sorry for prioritizing myself on a day that was already shitty for you. I'm sorry for harassing you all day. I'm sorry for constantly putting more on your plate when you didn't need it."

"I already forgave you, kid," she says, and god, he wishes all of his amends were going to be this simple.

~*~

He plans to apologize to Mel next. Because he likes to keep the simple streak going, and in fact, he knows that is very simple.

He seeks her out in the lounge, and she is there, but she's also there with Whitaker, who has apparently decided to pursue Emergency Medicine.

Well, what the hell. Frank probably owes him an apology, too.

"So. Mel. Whitaker. There's something I need to say," Frank says.

"Oh. Go ahead," Mel says, and she looks very pleased to hear from him, because she's a good person.

"What is it, Dr. Langdon?" Whitaker looks confused, which is fair, because he's Samira's responsibility.

He takes a deep breath. "I owe both of you an apology for my behavior last year. I'm sure you already heard through the grapevine that I was struggling with substance abuse, and I won't bore you with details. But part of my recovery requires me to apologize to those that I fucked up with. And I fucked up as a teacher to both of you. I was fucked up, either high or managing withdrawals the whole first day you were here. I was not the teacher you deserved, and for that I'm sorry. And Mel, I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye." He pauses. "Uh. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye to you, either, Whitaker."

"Oh, that's okay," Whitaker says.

Mel does something unexpected. She gets up, and she hugs him. That's weird. She doesn't hug.

However, he doesn't let go. "Least problematic trainee," he murmurs.

"Do we have to hug?" Whitaker asks.

"Absolutely fucking not," Frank says.

~*~

They are slammed for the next four hours, but he finally manages to find Cassie and Victoria searching for some extra gauze.

"Hey!" he says. "Something I need to say."

"I heard," Cassie says. "Rumor has it you're doing your steps today."

"Oh. Whitaker tell you? I think I freaked him out."

"You definitely did," Victoria tells him.

"Right, so anyway!" Frank says.

"You don't owe me an apology," Cassie interrupts him. "You can say something if you think you need to, but I promise you, I've seen worse. You were never not there for me as a senior resident when I needed you, so I'm just glad you're getting the help you need. Keep it up, and be kind to yourself."

"Thanks, Cassie. And I'm sorry for letting down the team, anyway."

She pats him on the shoulder with the gauze packet.

He turns to Victoria and gives the same speech he gave to Mel and Whitaker, more or less, minus the part about saying goodbye. It's a little less sincere, truth be told, because he doesn't know her as well as Mel, but he didn't know Whitaker that well either, and regardless - he fucked up.

When it's done, she shrugs. "Um, you don't owe me an apology. I made a major fuck up that day, too. Like, probably ruined a woman's life and her kids, too. So… I … uh… forgive you, or whatever."

"We all fuck up with patients," he tells her sympathetically. "Learn from it, and do better. That's all you can do."

"Same for you, right?" she says.

~*~

He tries to apologize to Yolanda. She tells him to not fuck up again, and that it will all be forgiven.

~*~

By 5 p.m, Frank figures he has three people left: Heather, Samira, Trinity, and Robby.

He sits in the lounge, for a rare break, and wishes that his appendix would explode or literally anything else would happen to keep him from reasonably being expected to talk to these people.

Samira comes in the lounge just as he is crumbling up his bag of hot Cheetos. Well, so much for his appendix being remotely useful.

"Hey, Samira," he greets.

"Oh, Frank Langdon, back to small talk," she says in surprise. "What's the special occasion?"

"You haven't heard?"

She shrugs. "You hear a lot of things in this department. I don't always pay attention. It can make you extra slow to pay attention to gossip, you know?"

He smiles softly at that. "Part of my recovery is doing direct amends. I owe you an apology for my behavior, especially during - uh, you know, that trauma with Santos. That was full fledged benzos at their worst, and you never should have been subjected to that."

"Neither should have Dr. Santos."

"I'm aware of that," Frank says with a sigh. "But they are direct amends, and she isn't here right now. So. I'm apologizing to the person who is. I'm sorry."

Samira nods. "Apology accepted. We're rooting for you, you know."

"Thanks," he says.

~*~

"I owe you an apology," he tells Heather, and she laughs at him.

"I know this is Step Nine, but stop it," she says. "We've all fucked up. The only person you need to kiss and make-up to is currently in the locker room. Maybe go give this speech to him."

"There's fucking up, and there's benzos," he tells her.

"Fifteen percent of doctors, and even an greater amount of EM doctors, will struggle with substance abuse. Now stop making me nice to you, Langdon," she says. "And go make up with Robby so he can quit pouting."

But he's not ready for that.

~*~

They're in the middle of a crike, and Ellis is already there; it's time to change over to nightshift. He's almost out of time, and he wants to be done for the day.

He glances over at Santos and sighs.

"I'm sorry I was such a drugged out fucking mess, and thank you for saving my life," he says.

She blinks at him. "What the fuck?"

"Fucking step nine," he answers.

"Oh."

Ellis looks back and forth to both of them, then shrugs, because night shift rarely gives a fuck about anything.

~*~

His finished all his charts and he's almost ready to go home, but he has one more thing he has to do in this hell day, no matter how much he doesn't want to do it.

But when he goes to look, Robby has already left.

"You missed the checkout meeting with your little NA meeting with Santos," Ellis tells him. "Don't worry, I'll put in a good word about what a good, contributing team member you were."

"I appreciate that," he says dryly.

"Don't I get an apology?" she teases.

"Do you want one?"

She laughs at him, and for a moment, he thinks he might miss this terrible place when he leaves next year.

~*~

The problem is, he wants to be done with these stupid amends tonight.

The other problem is, he is never going to make amends with Robby at work.

The third problem is that his phone buzzes to let him know that his Instagram is getting yet another comment.

It's fucking Jake, again.

Well, that makes his decision for him.

He decides to go to Robby's apartment.

~*~

He's only been there once, actually. He hopes Robby hasn't moved in the meantime. He should move, because chief attendings shouldn't live in apartments. They should live in real houses.

But Robby likes walking to work, and he has commitment issues, so he lives in an apartment instead.

And that is unnecessarily judgy, and not something he should think as he rings the doorbell.

Robby opens the door and stares at him for a few minutes. "Frank," he says slowly. "What are you doing here?"

"I was helping with the crike. And … talking with Dr. Santos. I missed the meeting," he says lamely.

Robby frowns. "Is that why you're here? It's fine. Don't worry about it. You're not in any trouble. Abbot said you were helping out."

"That's not why I'm here." Frank closes his eyes and opens them again to see Robby giving him a look that is not nearly as annoyed as he imagined it would be. "I'm here because there is something I need to say to you."

"Oh." Robby shakes his head. "Your step nine stuff. Well, it's fine. You don't have to do that."

"Yes, I do. Look, will you just. Christ, are you going to make me stay out here in the hallway?"

Robby looks startled, like maybe he had forgotten that Frank was standing out in the hallway. At the question, he steps back and gestures into the apartment.

Frank steps in, and he tries not to look around. But he wants to. He wants to take in everything in the apartment that is part of Robby, because the last time he was at Robby's apartment, he was sharing it with Jake's mom.

"Thanks," he says. "Look. Just let me finish, okay? This is - really hard to do, but it's important."

"Okay," Robby says, and he pushes his hands down the front of his pants, and it looks so familiar. Frank hates it.

But he doesn't hate it, and that is the whole fucking problem, isn't it?

"I owe you an apology. For a lot of things, actually. I'm sorry for not coming to you when I was struggling in the first place. I'm sorry for breaking your trust over and over again every time I stole from a patient. I'm sorry for being a shitty teacher and making the worst anniversary of your life worse. I'm sorry for coming back and putting you in a shitty position. I'm sorry for - "he falters here, because fuck that ambulance bay, actually. "I'm sorry for the long list of shitty things I said to you in the ambulance bay. I'm sorry Jake keeps liking my Instagram posts on purpose to hurt you."

Robby nods. "You done?"

"Yeah," Frank says, expecting that Robby will kick him out now.

"Most of that you don't owe me an apology for, because it was your addiction at work, not you. Jake's actions aren't yours, so you aren't responsible for them. You saved a lot of people when you came back. As for the rest… well. You're not the only one who was a dick in that ambulance bay, were you?"

No, Frank thinks, but he has spent so long feeling guilty for thinking it that he doesn't have an answer for it.

"I'm sorry too, Frank," Robby says.

Well, what is he supposed to do with that?

Frank kind of figures he's on a roll, and he might as well keep going. "I missed you."

Robby ducks his head the way he does when he's having an emotional beat that he wants to pretend he isn't having. "I missed you, too. I was trying to give you the space you needed. I didn't … want to push."

"I appreciate that," Frank says. "Well. I didn't come here to keep you up all night. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, Abby will have my ass for keeping you out this late," Robby says.

Oh, ha, ha, that's right, you have been unsubscribed to updates in my life for a while. "Actually, we're getting divorced," Frank says. "And I don't have the kids or the dog til this weekend, so nobody's waiting to be pissed at you at home."

Why did he say that? That sounds weird

Maybe Robby thinks so too, because he says "Oh, really?" followed by "I'm sorry" followed quickly by "You want to stay, then?"

Frank doesn't, exactly, have time to consider exactly what "stay" means, before he says "Yes."

~*~

As it turns out, maybe he won't leave after this year is up - that's what "stay" means.

[yunyuniii]

JUNE COMMISSIONS OPEN!💐 0/5

Opening up more slots for June Commissions!

I finally finished up commissions for April, so now I'm opening up 5 to 10 more slots! Birthday month incoming (woop woop!) + Summer on-the-job training so i gotta save up some funds again.

✧DM me if interested!

➤ 5 to 10 slots available!

➤more samples on my profile!

✧💸Payment (via GCash/PayPal)

Payment Policy is Full or 50% Upfront.

➤ Half body Sketch: $10 / 550 PHP (Per Character)

➤Half body Rendered: $20/ 1000 PHP (Per character)

➤Chibi Rendered: $15/ 830 PHP (Per character)

✧⌛Delivery Time

➤There is no fixed deadline, delivery will depend on the current queue placement and workload.

➤Currently might take within a month or so.

➤Frequent Updates will be given.

✧🟢 I Can Draw:

➤OCs

➤Fanart

➤Portraits

➤ Couples

➤ Slight Furry

➤ Slight NSFW

➤ Extremely detailed references will be done a bit more simplified.

✧🔴 I Don't Draw:

➤Heavy NSFW

➤Heavy Mecha

➤Heavy Gore

*anything else not mentioned can be up for discussion.

➤TWITTER: https://x.com/_yunyuniii

[whsprings]

substitute therapist does not hold back whatsoever. "you see yourself as a failed anorexic" "you've made yourself forgettable and invisible" (me:) "it takes me a while to warm up to people. if you can call it that." (him:) "by warm do you mean lukewarm" "do you think therapy has ever helped you" "I can see why you think you're beyond help" (that one is out of context in his defense) "if you'd never had a friend in your entire life then yeah I'd think there's something wrong with you" "you're not a liar or hostile or rude or too loud-- you know how some people you can just tell? so I am not sure why you've had these issues" "you make it sound like you're a child m*l*st*r"

[solradguy]

http://www.dustloop.com/forums/index.php?/topic/6496-gg2-overture-story-translations-updated-w-sins/

know if there’s any way to recover this? it’s a link from at most 2014

So I asked Tarkus about it, the lead Dustloop site dev, and there was a PHP upgrade back around October that threw a huge wrench into the forum code that messed it all up. Tarkus and one other person are the only two that can fix it and it's going to be a royal pain in the ass

In short:

It's kinda fucked, but getting it back online is on the to-do list, just very low priority

The data's all there, at least. It didn't get wiped or anything devastating

I thought I'd backed up the Dustloop forum translations of the GG2OMC stories but.................. It turns out I did not. I'm very sorry...

I don't know why/how, but none of the forums seem to be in Wayback Machine and I could've sworn I'd thrown at least the GG2OMC pages in there. Hm...

When the forums are back online I'll try to remember to make a post about it. If nothing else, I'm going to find a way to make a backup of at least the GG sections. A lot of early GG community stuff started in there and I want it for my archives

[artsygirl0315]

Mourning AU (Sector PHP redesign)

Some more info on the Mourning Au because I've got nothing else to do—

The Mourning AU starts off with the knowledge that both Mella and Evan no longer exist as living in this world, Both unfortunately passed after gruesome incidents the sector forbids themselves from even mentioning. (Car accident and Neighborhood fire, respectively)

At the midst of their occupation in the KND, They continue their work as providers for material resources. As usual, They send it back to Moonbase via 2x4 technology so they don't have to go up there themselves. This is due to refusing to ever show their physical existence in the organization because of their growing grief, They never left their treehouse as a resort.

Because of this, They never got to travel or meet Sector V again other than Cadet Training and short encounters in the far past. This causes worried endeavors with the current Soopreme Leader; Numbuh 362, but she can't do much unfortunately.

The sector's privacy is out of her hands and can't really force them as she understands their predicament, Although, This doesn't stop her from wanting to check in on them from time to time.

So, She sends out a sector or an individual operative to do the work.

They were worse than she imagined..

Everything was a mess.

The lights were off and the furnitures were by a cause of destruction,

Pieces of 2x4 technology everywhere either finished or unfinished,

Crumpled up papers, crushed or thrown cans of soda with the occasional coffee cans.

Scattered used tissues, ripped up picture frames, lifeless feel to everything in sight.

What happened to this place to be so.. Empty?

[clownshifting]

About the Eros Vampyre.

(Revamped for visibility.)

An Eros vampyre refers to a being of any form that feeds upon intimate love or lust. Eros vampyre has also been used interchangeably with “Pranic/Tantric vampyre."

Eros, as a concept related but separate to the god of love and sex, represents one of the four Greek Loves. It is passionate and sensual love, oftentimes resulting from sensual desire or activity. Eros is known as a life force similar to blood or the psyche, eros itself is a physical emotion expressed through psychosomatic means. Eros may make you lovesick or experience a state of overwhelming joy for love. Eros is the desire for wholeness and to be completed by another equal amount of eros from a source, whether that is yourself or another being (similar to sang vampyres feeding upon themselves).

I am of the belief that instead of being interchangeable with eros, that these concepts exist underneath the term eros vampyre as ranges of intensity of said love, with tantric being more emotional and spiritual way of feeding.

Tantra is an ancient Buddhist and Hindu practice that relates to weaving and creating woven spirits with either your own healing or aligned with others. It teaches the importance of celebrating the body and heightening sexuality and intimacy. Tantra and its practices, whether that look like yoga or meditation, have the ultimate goal of “playing” with the physical body's prana and “shaping it”. Tantra and tantric experiences don't require intimacy, it simply explores sexuality.

I also see the terms incubus, succubus, siren, and satyr in relation with eros vampyrism. These terms can be used as titles or as specific groupings for how an erosiyan feeds.

Traits I am a firm believer that traits between vampyres differ, either by age or by congenital changes.

The basic things apply to the vocal majority of vampyres:

“Auras” or output of energy that is like tendrils, moving mist, darker colors.

An “enhanced point” in the body that is used for feeding or collection (whether that be fangs, magick, craft, etc.)

Sense of weak to strong withdrawal

Below average life force that may or may not be detrimental and needs to be replenished

When specific to erosiyans:

Auras tend to glow from the darkness in the eyes of potential donors, lovers, or partners. A sparkling aura in the eyes of a donor may not be sparkling in the eyes of someone else.

The enhanced point are the eyes instead of fangs, as erosiyans don't have prominent fangs for, which is common in stories of love.

Eyes are said to be windows to the soul as well as being able to elicit erotic desire. “Getting lost in one's eyes,” can be applied to erosiyans with black or very dark eyes that share resemble to outer space or a black hole.

Eros originates from the eyes, and they glow or radiate when feeding.

Feeding Since erosiyans rely on their eyes, eros vampyres have the ability to feed exclusively with their eyes and the emotion given by the eyes. This may lean more into pranic eros with the spirit weaving. Physical intimacy can still be a part of it but it always comes after being fed or feeding, and will use the energy gained from "the tease" in order to participate.

Personally, I have fed both ways and can fit in the middle of the spectrum. In my experience, I have fed easily by pranic eros and with my eyes only. I go into constant limerence when I get hungry, and cannot let it go until I fed. I know my body and have responded accordingly for some time now - not only have I learned from experimenting but I have understood further what I would wish to see from others.

Eros is a life force that is stored within sensual and intimate acts of love. Eros vampyres feed upon eros, so it would need to be from that kind of love.

This concept may be similar to mirous attraction.

..... https://www.vampirefragments.com/damien_articles_2016-04-06.php

https://www.vampirefragments.com/amador_articles_2016-04-15.php

https://erosvampire.blogspot.com/2012/11/introduction.html?m=1

https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/smokeandmirrors34981/the-eros-sexual-vampire-t2741-s10.html

https://thevampyrecoven.com/vampyrism-in-its-many-different-forms/

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eros_(concept)

https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Mirous_Attraction

[theveryevilblog]

Haskell > anything else

Haskell is the best programming language because it lets you write a fully functioning web server with three lines of code and zero understanding of how anything works You don't write programs, you declare intentions, and the compiler decides if you're worthy Every other language lets you make mistakes. Haskell waits patiently then destroys your ego at compile time Besides, who needs to 'build skill' in programming anyway?

Not even comparable to python, which is just... so annoyingly uncomplicated and pointless (to make good python syntax you need to make it as un-python as possible) and javascript? Who needs fast languages anyway? So unsatisfying And don't even get me started on C, C++ or C#, which are literally the same language by the way Rust? Bro, just send me the virus already. I don't care PHP? What does that even stand for? Poverty Holding Person? Like you? Java? You stopped being relevant about thirty years ago Swift? Buddy, I do not care about your apple vision pro R? You couldn't even spare another letter? What are you, C-- or something? Ruby? Just admit that Ruby on Rails died last decade... Go? Go where? Out the door? Because currently, that is what Go developers are being asked to do by employers Perl? I don't even know what that language is