#platonic romantic something else or all of the above they were soulmates and they loved each other

[seaofadventure-a]

Its just the way that Roger found Rayleigh and immediately called their meeting fate and the way they were captian and first mate for over thirty years and the way they were Gol D and Silvers and the way they called each other partners and the way Roger told Rayleigh he would never die and the way Rayleigh was crying but let his captain go because he knew that was what Roger wanted and needed and the way Roger lived his last year without his partner and the way Rayleigh didn't go to Roger's execution and how it was the day he laughed and cried the most and the way Rayleigh lived!! For so long!! Without Roger and just waiting for Joyboy's prophecy to pass and the way—

[cherish--these--times]

Okay. BUCKLE UP.

To the people who say that we have no media literacy because we hoped til the very end that Ted and Rebecca would end up together: you can FUCK RIGHT OFF.

Recently, Hannah W. declared: "Is there chemistry beyond friendship? Yes, I think they do have that as well."

But beyond that, there were A MILLION OTHER WAYS they could have done the last season (and arguably season 2) differently than what they did to avoid any ambiguity as to Ted and Rebecca's relationship. They could have had them hang out all the bloody time and be the rock solid best friends in the world. Ted and Rebecca were never more than friendly co-workers since season 1 ended. That BFF, platonic bullshit was never a thing. If that was true, Ted would have had NO PROBLEM hugging the shit out of her in the stands in the last episode when she begged him to stay. Or again in the airport. They would have gushed over how they made each other's life better and it would have been beautiful and moving and perfectly reasonable. Instead it was loaded with unsaid stuff between two people who never dared to get too close to one another. Keeley was Rebecca's rock. Beard was Ted's. Ted and Rebecca were something else. They were connected in unfathomable, cosmic ways. A perfect set up for a romcom, even if you dislike the idea.

But okay, playing the devil's advocate here, if the platonic soulmates shtick was always the intent (and I don't care what people think, I'm not sure it was), why not have them fall in love with other people early on but keep them as a tightly-knit tandem? Why keep them apart so much throughout the show and both single for most of it???? Why even establish they were born to meet then they never see each other again at the end?? Romance aside, what was the fucking point of that??

Let's address your fucking condescension, shall we? I'll tell you what media literacy fucking taught me:

That Rebecca immediately sensing Ted was having a panic attack, following him, and missing him by a hair, is a classic trick for lovers in a "right place, wrong time" kinda way. If they didn't want to leave any space for ambiguity, she would have found him, comforted him and took him to Dr Fieldstone's office herself without this need to overdramatise and make us long for said comfort that she was unable but clearly desperate to provide.

That Ted texting her for the first time on screen (15 times!!!) because he wanted to hang out at night in a foreign city JUST WHEN SHE LOSES HER PHONE IN A CANAL is a classic SEE ABOVE!! Fuck all of you, honestly.

That one half of the equation carrying a matchbook in his pocket the other half had been obsessing over for months means he is the answer to her romantic quest. And before you go and say that everyone got a matchbook that night, THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT. They chose to show that Ted, of aaaaaaall the people in the restaurant that night, had been carrying Rebecca's hopes and dreams in his pocket THE ENTIRE BLOODY TIME. It was an intentional, purposeful decision. They decided to drop that hot potato later on but you can't blame us for thinking it would lead somewhere!

That one half of the equation carried a trinket in her bag the other half gave her YEARS BEFORE, means he is the one for her. Why? Because this was something he gave her to make her feel safe! Letting someone wonderful love her without fear of being safe was the thing she canonically admitted she was afraid of in a ROMANTIC relationship! The fact that the army man happened to be stuck in the green matchbook was frankly TAKING THE PISS.

That Ted's official love interest having admitted she disliked his puns and having Rebecca laugh at one of his puns IN THE SAME EPISODE is meant to convey she's the one and right under his nose!

That her love interest for the night unloading his marital struggles on her unprompted just like Ted did, loving the same songs as Ted and making her tea that had the same impact on her as Ted's first biscuits means that what she looks for in a partner is right under her nose!

That having her bump into Ted in a corridor and both sensing each other in a choreographed dance MOMENTS after Higgins gave her a whole ass speech about how psychics could help her see in herself what she's missing means IT WAS ALWAYS TED. Don't even get me started on the fact that during said speech, the pink biscuit box was very conveniently placed just behind the green matchbook! A speech about her not seeing something about herself?? Uh??? FUCK OFF.

That Rebecca being told she will have a family and have her instigate Ted getting closer to his son and gushing over his mother is a clear indicator that she would fit in the Lasso household like a glove!

That having Ted canonically never ask for help and Rebecca being the one who doesn't need him to because she always knows when he is unwell means she's framed as being the right person for him. She also uses a trick his EX-WIFE used in the past for that exact purpose.

That their baggage matching right up meant they would have been perfect for each other. His biggest fear is being abandoned and hers is ending up alone. Ted and Rebecca were the logical option for a couple. Ted even had to begrudgingly admit it worked for Jane and Beard. The only canonically happy couple at the end (and ain't that fucking mental...).

That having the line "Remember to let her into your heart" from the Hey Jude song coincide with Ted looking down at his phone and seeing Rebecca's name means that she's the woman he should allow himself to end up with.

Why keep them both single and desperate for love until the very last episode? Why not have Michelle beg Ted to come back and Dutch Guy find Rebecca thanks to newspaper clips about football in Holland 10 episodes ago and be done with it?? Why even not have Rebecca pine for him on screen ever since they parted ways??

Everything in this show was intentional. You can't marvel over this fact for everything BUT Ted and Rebecca and suddenly claim we read too much into things! We were played. Multiple times. At various degrees. And it doesn't take being a fan of the show to see it:

An LA Times journalist made an article about the hints and clues in the show after she interviewed TedBecca fans. And she BELIEVED IT. She got convinced. She told Hannah W. in an interview.

Another journalist on CBR.com (male, so you can shove your "desperate women wanting the straight couple to be together at the end" where the sun ain't shining) lamented the way the TedBecca shippers were treated.

Keep your passive-aggressive posts to yourselves. We've been dangled a carrot since day one and just because we never got to eat it doesn't mean it was never there.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Ask game can you do kyouka

Yay Kyouka!!!

Favorite thing about them: HER EXISTING. The fact that she's one (1) fleshed out female character and for one I will love her for that. I also generally really like the trope of little girls facing unimaginable horrors and defeating them, it gives me hope. The fact that she was able to get out of an abusive environment by her own forces is very inspiring, too. More Kyouka love words here.

Least favorite thing about them: I feel I'm cheating at this with always mentioning things that are really not about the character but rather about the way they fit in the story but... I'm very disappointed when the author flat out forgets about her. 55 Minutes and the whole airport arc. I've said it before but I really wish she would have intervened during the Atsushi / Akutagawa airport fight because what were she and Yosano and Lucy doing the entire time. In general, I wish we'd see her more outside of her relationship with Atsushi which I LOVE but that is starting to feel quite limiting of her right now.

Favorite line:

Eheh. It's been this blog title since day one. It's just that crepes is one of my favourite desserts too but most of all I really appreciate the feeling of carrying on living even if it's just for the small nice things in life. I may be worthless, and with no right to breathe; but crepes still make life worth living. I appreciate the sentiment. Ss/kk should learn from her it'd spare them a lot of trouble lol

brOTP: I LOVE LOVE LOVE HER RELATIONSHIP WITH ATSUSHI. It's really one of my favourite things. I think Kyouka is about the only person Atsushi truly cares about beyond his own selfishness and it's really heartwarming. They make each other's lives better every day and comfort each other that they're good people capable of doing good. I also think Kyouka really helps Atsushi in the way she's so blunt and straightforward, she helps him overcome his insecurities and second-guessing everything; she's a reassuring presence for him because he knows she wouldn't lie to him. And Atsushi allows her to be a child, and it's so sweet!!! They need each other in a lot of ways and they're so perfect for each other. Platonic soulmates fr. I also really like her relationship with Kenji, that too is so wholesome, I'm happy she has someone her same age she can do 14 y/os things with!!! Oh and I LOVE her relationship with Lucy, they're so much fun in their low-key animosity but I like to think they truly care about each other and that Lucy fully took Kyouka on as her annoying little sister she wouldn't hesitate to die for. AND the potential of Kyouka and Yosano, AND Fukuzawa. AND Akutagawa and Kouyou (more as like, relationships to explore rather than think they'd actually get along). I think about Kyouka's relationships with other characters a lot lol.

OTP: You know I'm fully convinced I would have been a full flagged Kyouka/Kenji supporter if only they were a little older, but the way I can really only think of them as children kinda makes it hard for me to say I ship them just because personally I don't really like to imagine them in a romantic picture in general (个_个) It's a shame because again I know what I like and this kind of sun/moon coded het ship is something I would have been really into ;;

nOTP: Likely Kyouka and Kenji for the reasons mentioned above :// It's just something I noticed I'm not very into when it's brought up in ss/kk fics. That said, it's not like I have any strong feeling against it either.

Random headcanon: About that, I really like to think she and Kenji are going to be partners when they're older.

Unpopular opinion: Not sure this goes here but right now I can't think of anything else– I do think that in the early chapters of the manga there was some level of writing Kyouka like she was Atsushi's love interest. Overall I think the manga verges way less in the “siblings” direction than the “eventually couple to-be living together” direction than the fandom makes it to be (I don't think they were ever directly associated to siblings in the manga, like, ever? I don't remember Atsushi ever saying he sees Kyouka as a little sister or something in those lines). Which I personally do not like, but in my reading interpretation that's the direction the manga was going for. That's why the chapter 15 opening is extremely distasteful to me, it really feels like pushing forward the stereotype of little dainty young house wife waking up early to prepare breackfast for her husband... And the way we know she's so young makes it downright disturbing. (But again, that's only as far as my understanding of the manga goes, feel free to disagree with me on this).

Song i associate with them: Shinkai Shoujo by Yuuyu-P!!!! It's just so her, both in the girly j-pop vibes and lyrics. It literally talks about a girl sinking in the darkness but managing to find the light in the end :')

Favorite picture of them:

Favourite panel from the manga:

Favourite illustration:

Favourite illustration in the anime art style:

Favourite Mayoi card:

Send me a character?

[bayofwolves]

struggling with how to address the nature of conor and abeke's relationship in path of the heroes. it deeply saddens me that coneke will not be happening, even though shaneke has always been my endgame. even so, conor and abeke have a really special relationship that i don't feel can be brushed off as simply platonic. i'm keeping the forehead kiss and all the other tender moments they shared before that. in fact, shane is supposed to notice how close they are, which causes doubts to form in his head.

i was thinking of having a scene where conor and shane just talk about this, but this is where the struggle begins. i'm not sure if i want there to be explicitly romantic feelings between conor and abeke. i fear it could needlessly complicate things, especially with the fact that i plan for conor to end up with someone who is very close to abeke in particular! plus, the love triangle is a tired concept -- a perceived love triangle that ends up all being in one guy's head is much more fun. like, shane spending literal years (since seeing them together in the second devourer war) stewing in repressed jealousy and doubt all for conor to cheerfully break the news that he and abeke never felt that way about each other and shane never had any competition? that's great. it's just great.

i feel like this path would be a lot more satisfying and less awkward than if conor were to say he did have feelings for abeke but he won't pursue them for shane's sake, or he knew abeke would choose shane over him, or some "maybe in another life" type shit. that, or they just start fighting over her for real. this would make the reveal of conor's endgame partner feel very odd, which i really do not want because i love the dynamic and potential these two have. it's become one of my favourite rarepairs and i cannot wait to explore it. but if conor did have feelings for abeke prior to this, their relationship would be... questionable, i'll put it. (and no the mystery person is not soama! don't worry! i could not care less about her)

so yeah, obviously i'm leaning towards the first option, but like i said above -- i can't say with certainty that conor and abeke can be called platonic. since taking up this project, my view of their relationship has slid very far into platonic territory (compared to how i used to ship them romantically), but it's clearly still something a lil bit more! i just can't label it for the life of me.

besties who cuddle and forehead kiss to help with the Trauma? besties who have deep talks for hours into the night when everyone else is asleep? besties who are intrinsically connected in a way that makes most people think romance but they know for a fact it isn't? platonic soulmates??! platonic soulmates. i found it. i found the term. conor and abeke are Platonic Soulmates.

this is what i love about making a long tumblr post as i think. i figure things out along the way

** i also feel the need to note that the shane-conor feud will not take up much of the plot at all. no matter how you execute it, jealousy subplots are too overdone. shane's real rivalry is with rollan.

[bebx]

hi im so sorry but i need to get this off my chest and i cant talk to my friends about it because its so embarrassing and ive talked about it PLENTY

but anyway long story short i was dating someone, we have a weird history dating wise & have been best friends for 3+ years before that all started. literally three weeks ago we decided to be exclusive, on friday i found out that the day before, he kissed another girl IN PUBLIC. i know that girl, they've hooked up before (when i was also hooking up with him but it wasn't anything really and i didn't actually know for sure if they were hooking up (they were)). so we called it quits.

i still spent the weekend bc i'm weak and all i want is him. he said he never felt a connection like this with anyone, he said he loved me and he said he was sorry a hundred times..... he said it would take a long time before he'd feel 'normal' about me. we were both emotional when i left, and since then i havent really stopped crying lol

AND NOW. i dont know if im just driving myself crazy but i feel like he's (still) (again?) talking to that one girl and it would make sense because he basically cheated on me not even a week ago so why wouldnt he do this now??? but. it feels too cruel. but maybe thats just who he is.

god i hate this so much he drives me completely mad im stalking his every move and every time i see something that even slightly hints at my suspicions i get so ill and it makes me wanna kms. i just wanna feel normal i hate that he did this to me i miss him so bad. i know we literally shouldn't ever get back together again because this is just a fraction of the shit thats happened in the past 10 months, BUT I ONLY WANT HIM. and i feel like we're soulmates. BYEEEEE this is so humiliating. im so tired i just want it to end

hugging you so tight right now, anon!!! 🩷🩷🩷 so sorry you have to go through something like this. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, because each person experiences this type of pain differently, but I do know it just super sucks when the person who hurts us and the person we want to hate turns out to be the one we love the most. sometimes our hearts can be stubborn just like that (it all would’ve been so easy if we could convince ourselves to stop caring and to being able to fully hate them and moving on, but it’s never that easy, sadly). I can’t tell you what to do or how to react to the pain you feel, but know that your pain is valid and how you feel / how you react / how you cope with that pain, that’s valid too. and you are not weak for being hurt when someone wronged you, especially when it’s someone you trusted. I know this is cliche and is so much easier said than done, but please also be kind to yourself, above anything else. that boy and the girl he cheated on you with, they don’t deserve you. they lost you, not the other way around. think of this as an opportunity for you to open yourself to someone else who truly loves and values you, whether it be romantically or platonically. I know right now you just want him, but if the wrong person can make you love him this bad, imagine how much happier you’ll be when you finally find the right one who can make you love them the same way you loved him, if not more, the only difference is that they won’t break your heart. and you deserve to be happy. that someone is out there, and I truly believe you both will find each other when the time is right. but for now, try loving and being gentle to yourself even if it’s hard (I know it can be hard, but at least give it a try), the best revenge is to prove to them that you don’t need them to be happy and that you can heal from this and thrive without them in your life. doesn’t matter how long it takes, but you will get there one day, and you will look back and be so damn proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. because hey, look at you, you are still here, and for that, I am so damn proud of you!!

it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be completely broken, because the thing about crying and being broken is that it’s not permanent, even if it feels like it right now.

and by the way, the ones who should feel humiliated are him and that girl, not you. screw it if they deserve each other. YOU deserve so much better than that anyway.

[kitkatwinchester]

That's a problem...

Okay first, THANK GOD for Deaton and Argent OMG. We love all of Scott's parental figures constantly there to help him, even when he least expects it. Chris Argent coming in to save the day, Alan Deaton coming in to heal him up. We love it. We love Scott's, like, five dads (Rafael, Stilinski, Deaton, Argent...okay four. Four dads. But still. XD <3).

Speaking of dads, I'm so glad Noah and Rafael are more or less okay.

That said, I feel like Scott's seeing something I'm not in this fight.

Is one of the Berserkers Violet? Is that how the Berserkers work? Does she, like, turn you into a Berserker, somehow?

Because Scott kind of started to freak out when Chris started shooting, and I'm wondering why? Does he just not want anyone to get hurt? Because if he didn't want anyone to get hurt, why was he so pleased (that was adorable, by the way) about Chris having the big gun in the first place?

He's definitely seeing something I'm not, and I need to know what it is.

So I'm gonna move on so that I can keep watching.

It has occurred to me that Malia can't have romantic chemistry with Derek, because they're technically related (forgot about that part for a second lol) and I'm not into that at all.

THAT SAID, she TOTALLY DOESN'T, because they totally have FAMILIAL CHEMISTRY, and I LOVE IT!

It's so obvious and sweet with how Derek coaches her, and how supportive he is, and the little hand hold when she gets scared and how concerned Derek is when she does. I know that they're technically cousins, but that gives such brother and sister vibes, and I am all here for it. Please give me more Hale cousin team-ups. I love them. (Although clearly we were too late, and Braeden is super hurt, so that's not good (what was she even doing there??), but I'll still take the Hale cousin team-ups, because they're cute. <3)

THAT SAID, however, that just proves that Malia's romantic chemistry with everyone else was clearly intentional, because it's not just that she has natural romantic chemistry with everyone that she interacts with. No no. She has pointed chemistry in pointed situations, so whether it's the actors, director, writer, or all of the above, they were NOT trying to hide that romantic chemistry with the rest of the pack, and all I'm saying is, if she kissed every single one of them, I would not be upset.

ANYWAYS.

Okay last, but CERTAINLY not least, I know that that whole scene with Meredith was super stressful and high-key terrifying and extremely heart-wrenching (Parrish trying so hard to keep everyone calm and collected and make sure everyone felt comfortable including Meredith we love him <3) and overall not really a positive scene because we got more questions than answers and Meredith isn't helping us anymore.

BUT!

STYDIAAAAAAA!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I MEAN I JUST--

The way Stiles is backing Lydia up, and trying to keep her calm and ask Meredith the questions in a different way so that she actually answers Lydia.

The way they keep catching each other's gaze at the same time even though they're not actually looking at each other because they just know.

The way Stiles starts to sense that the situation is getting out of hand at the same time everyone else does and just keeps looking at Lydia in concern, because she's who he cares about most in that moment.

The way he was SO QUICK to stand up and catch her when she stumbled back.

The way he just held her and covered her in any desperate attempt to protect her from whatever Meredith seemed to hit her with.

The way he caresses her face so gently and turns her head so he can see her ear.

The way he gives that slight angry and protective glare at Meredith as he just continues holding Lydia and making sure she's okay.

Look.

I love Stiles's current relationship with Malia, and I fully acknowledge the romantic chemistry with Derek (and Scott, but we all know I see them as platonic soulmates, so shush).

I love and fully acknowledge Lydia's romantic chemistries with Malia and Parrish, and I would love to see either of those go further.

HOWEVER.

NOTHING (romantically, that is) will EVER beat Stiles and Lydia's chemistry.

NOTHING.

From Episode 1, that spark has just grown, and the two of them are SO similar and balance each other SO well and are SO protective of each other and just care about each other SO much and THIS IS WHY THEY ARE MY OTP!!

BECAUSE OF MOMENTS LIKE THIS!!!

Their current chemistries/relationships are great.

But that is all they are.

Current.

And temporary.

Because JUST LOOK AT STYDIA!

WHEN DO I GET MY STYDIA ENDGAME?!

WHEN?!

I NEED IT!!!

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!

GIVE IT TO MEEEEEE!!!

...anyways.

Full pointers for Liam for trying his hardest to get out, and I felt so bad for him when he fell back into the well, but he clearly has a new vigor, and that little flashback with Scott was so wholesome and cute, and god I hope they find him soon because that poor baby is trying his darndest, but he could really use the help.

DID I MENTION THAT I LOVE STYDIA?! <3

(This was the best gif I could find but it has his little caress of her face so it totally works. I LOVE THEM!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3)

[hiddenqveendom]

tell me what's raisa's relationship with her love interests

hmm, i’d say her only true love interest is alicent as, she’s the one raisa has felt the strongest feelings for. nevertheless, i will give a little breakdown of her pairings.

lord torrence tarly:

torrence was raisa’s first husband. the two married quite young and she remained a ward of house tarly for sometime before they were deemed old enough to consummate their marriage. while she never actually fell for him romantically, the two were practically best friends. their friendship was like no other she would ever have with anyone else. unfortunately, torrence fell ill with a plague of sorts that killed him within days. the two were married for roughly ten years in technicality. raisa’s beloved sister, rhea would perish just two moths later, setting her down a dark path of revenge. trope: platonic soulmates

ser harwin strong:

raisa’s relationship with harwin was perhaps the most complicated of all. their marriage was a strategic one, calculated by raisa herself as a step closer to bringing down daemon targaryen. while no one was aware of the true reason behind their match, it was clear that they did not marry for love at first. if anything, it was “lust at first sight.” the two were physically attracted to each other and thus worked out in that sense. however, raisa’s pride and harwin’s long lasting affair with rhaenyra put a wedge between them. raisa would never beg for love but she did demand respect, something her husband failed to deliver one bastard at a time. although the two had their own child together, raisa couldn’t help but feel that harwin preferred his children with rhaenyra over their son, layn, seeing as he payed more attention to them. this caused her to grow resentful of her husband, even feeling ashamed of him at times. by the time harwin sets off with his father, he and raisa are not in a very good place. raisa isn’t happy with the idea of their family being separated. still, they are able to share a tender moment before he meets his horrific end. in spite of all of their quarrels, harwin’s death hits her hard and it takes her quite some time to overcome it. she also vocally blames rhaenyra for it. trope: toxic lovers.

QUEEN alicent hightower:

alicent is by far the person raisa develops the strongest feelings for in her life. the two share many similarities, similar ambitions, dutiful motives, etc. thus, it’s a no brainer when they get on well from the get go. raisa is a little bit older than alicent, yet the latter’s maturity is an equal match to hers. once raisa officially joins the queen’s court, she becomes one of her biggest supporters (even though she never officially chooses a side during the dance of dragons). i think raisa becomes what alicent once hoped to receive from rhaenyra; that other half to confide in above all others. she needed someone to take over that place and raisa gladly filled that void. they have a bit of a “slow burn” type of love story. the two don’t instantly get together. it takes them each some time to realize just what exactly they feel for one another and just how strong those feelings are. they never officially become a couple, nor am i sure if they will get to act much on their feelings about from supporting one another. still, theirs is a love like no other that burns brighter than any dragon fire that may try to take them down. trope: friends to lovers

[kc-cutie-xoxo]

LONG PHILOSOPHICAL RANT/ HIGH THOUGHT TRAIN INCOMING!!!!

this is a message i sent to one of my platonic soulmates, inspired by my soul’s perfect (very romantic) match, myah.

“when i say i am currently high as nuts on an edible but my brain is doing the philosophical, spiritual, people are energy thought process thing rn, i was like i need to text kem my high thoughts because you understand my soul like almost no other. (shoutout myah for being the only one who gets my soul more).

i may blow your phone up, i apologize in advance, but let me say, i am so grateful that our souls crossed paths. i have never encountered someone who i felt so mirrored by on a soul deep level. we understand and process things differently because of our life experiences, but our souls reflect the same brightness. your soul LONGS to reach out and touch other souls. you have what I have, the thing I call “the gift of good thoughts”. our brains may be chaotic, but our first thought is almost always something appreciative or kind, joyful, thoughtful, almost ALWAYSSSS something good. our souls long to touch other souls, that is why we love to dance and we love music, and we love to be there for our friends, and we love to learn, to grow, to speak to people, and to have people listen. it is not a desire to be the center of attention, or to overshadow anyone elses light, it’s the opposite. we love to experience other souls, and we love to make them burn brighter. so i wanted to say thank you, for always making my soul feel like it was encouraged to grow and to shine. thank you for letting me stoke your souls flame. thank you for also sharing your thoughts with my mind because i learn so much and am so encouraged and complemented by the way your mind works. anyway, thats the intro LOL.

i have been on facetime w myah and have been rambling about my high thoughts, including the above mentioned soul brightness theme. I have thoroughly enjoyed the journey my mind has taken tonight, and so I will try to make this as intelligible and ingestible as i can, but please do keep in mind im toasted, roasted, and my mind has coasted.

okay one- everything started as stardust. i watched a science show about it, i dont know all the details and specifics (too high to remember at least). if im not mistaken though, the first atoms were hydrogen, and hydrogen atoms found other atoms, created molecules, carbon+oxygen+hydrogen is the foundation of all life okay. so all of those tiny little building blocks of everything in our known universe have some kind of energy, technically measured in joules but whatever LMAO. okay it took us thousands of years to come far enough to get an idea of what an atom looked like, but we could measure that energy in how it interacted with different energy, or different building blocks. okay so if we think about the foundation of life as substance and its natural possession of energy, i go to my next point

2- aforementioned point———souls are energy. i dont think we have the capability to measure the energy of souls, but in the experience of identifying with someone’s soul, you can feel and understand the energy. i don’t think that our souls energy is solely based on its interactions with other souls, but I do think that plays a big part. i also think that a souls energy is somewhat tied to their material substance the same way that an atom is not the physical presence of energy, but it possesses its own experience of energy. while that idea does play into what exactly a soul’s substance is, i dont think that’s discoverable yet scientifically; however, i do think we are able to recognize and comprehend our souls experience of energy. when our souls are low energy i feel like the light is dimmer or the amount of energy lowers; but when the energy and that light is encouraged to grow??? the light gets brighter, the soul shines, and the soul develops and increases its energy. that increase of energy i think is when we experience that encouragement, that safety and trust, and we learn to enjoy the stoking of the energy, and we learn to encourage our growth ourselves as well. which leads me to my next point…..

three - souls interacting. I think that certain souls may be from the same stardust, or their energy may have learned to enjoy the encouragement of the self enough to where their soul longs to touch other souls. i think that this energy sometimes finds its equal, or its perfect complement, and this other soul naturally encourages the growth and brightness of that other soul (and vice versa). i think that you are one of those complements for me, and i do think you are my platonic soulmate. my soul loves yours and feels encouraged by yours, and my soul loves to encourage yours to shine as bright as can be. i also think that myah is my perfect romantic/soulmate complement because I feel like our energy is so drawn to each others (somehow on this massive rock), and my soul naturally wants to encourage hers to shine, and her soul just wants to let mine know that it’s beautiful to be bright, and that neither of our souls were intended to be dim, so we are just learning how to shine brighter just by being around each other.

okay im getting high sleepy so maybe will pick up at a different date, but long story short, i feel like because my soul has finally found what its been searching for, my mind and soul is free to search for knowledge, joy, and growth in a way that i cannot even fathom being random chance. i feel so free, i feel like i can finally spend time enjoying exploring more of the meaning of life and asking questions from my soul because my soul doesn’t feel lonely anymore. it found its complement. the yin to its yang if u will.

anyway, elated, faded, chemically aided casey ramble is concluding for the night, i adore you, i am grateful for you more than you could understand, and thank you for being someone i felt like i could ramble about these things to.”

Hoping someone else might find some clarity from my silly high thoughts.

I also want to acknowledge that I don’t think my mind would have ventured that far into the complexities of the universe and the soul if I didn’t feel like my soul was so seen and understood by myah. Thank you baby, I love you.

[moonglittering]

🔮 -- Does your muse believe in soulmates? How do you feel about writing Soulmate AU’s? / 🏩 -- How long does your muse usually wait before having sex with their partner? What is their view on sex and intimacy?

✨ @countlessrealities. meme. still accepting!      

🔮 -- Does your muse believe in soulmates? How do you feel about writing Soulmate AU’s?

no the concept is very, very childish to him… and he finds it to be an embarrassing way to look at romantic / platonic love. some of the idea behind a soulmate stems from plato’s symposium where he proposed the theory that people used to actually be doubled up until the gods decided people were too powerful, and split them up. your soulmate is the other half of the person you used to be…. and he hates that a lot lol. when you meet virote and you decide to love him and he decides to love you, he’s already completely whole. there’s nothing for you to do to make him any more of a complete version of himself. you can’t even make him a better person.

he’s making himself a better person, whether you’re there or not.

and sure that doesnt work for others sometimes but it works for him. much like a lot of virote’s other beliefs and ways in how he navigates all types of relationships, hes very together, down to earth, and matter-of-fact about it. it’s not overblown or lofty. vi doesn’t need to feel like he’s a puzzle piece to be slotted against another person to complete the picture. he dont even feel that way about his family and he loves his family more than anything. virote views himself as a root of a tree, everyone else = other parts of the tree. you can cut it down to a nub of the trunk, you can remove the branches, the leaves will fall off. the roots are always there. and it will continue to absorb what it needs, regardless of what’s going on above it.

the best way to sum up how vi feels about romantic love comes from eartha kitt…

‘ i fall in love with myself, and i want someone to share it with me. and i want someone to share me, with me. ’

so tl;dr

nope. he thinks we have base compatibility with a number of people and the rest is willingness to work on the relationship. platonic, romantic, etc whatever. that’s all.

like. virote’s a romantic but he’s not corny with it. 

🏩 -- How long does your muse usually wait before having sex with their partner? What is their view on sex and intimacy?

ngl, virote really has no like... waiting period lol. it kind of conflicts with his lack of experience because he doesn’t have anything casual going on ever, no hook-ups, and hasn’t even been on a vanilla date in like almost 10 years. and his sexual experience is that length of time too glfkjgdfkl. like he’s really open to sleeping with a guy in the early stages, dating him or not. hell, he’ll sleep with someone he barely knows at all.

❝ I’ve never done anything considered kinky. I have no experience, ❞ [ ... ] ❝ Haven’t had sex in, like, a lot of years. Only had it with my first and only boyfriend and all I could do was close my eyes and he’d do his thing. never did foreplay beforehand, never even did all the pillow talk stuff after. He’d screw me for like two minutes and then leave. After that relationship like, I never did anything casual. Never got to, like, explore what I like. never hooked up with someone. I’d like to find out what it’s like, though… But, I’m also scared that I’ll take my clothes off in front of a man and he’ll laugh at me. I don’t have many insecurities, but. Um. I have a lot of sexual hang-ups. I want to free myself from all of them. I want someone to want me and show me I don’t have to be scared of desire… Or, like. something like that. I’m trying my hardest to find myself in that way. Man, this soju sucks. ❞

he’s open to being free with his sex life

but there’s so much standing in his way...

however, he wants to live a little! he wants to get a bit freaky with someone!

also he’s really, really, really flexible and has dancer stamina so... whoever witnesses that in bed will be lucky. and he’s terrifyingly pretty like whomst is gonna hold his face in their hand and force him to make eye-contact??

[mariusdemh]

27/10: how strange is it to think about

as humans we are taught to grow up, fall in love, make a living and then die.

but no one is ever clear about how or with what premise we have. there are so many types of love that is nearly impossible to think of much less right about them all.

there's romantic love.

the kind of love that sweeps you off your feet and takes your breath away when you find it. the type of love that makes you want to share everything with that person. the type of love that makes you incomplete without them around. the type of love that has you smiling to think about fighting to obtain and begging to hold. it's like heroin addicting and hallucinative. it can make you see things that aren't there bit it can also help you breathe. it's freedom and security all at once. it's jumping into nothingness knowing that someone will be there to catch you as you land. it's fragile and precious from China plates. once you find it you'll know. so often do we mistake it for the love of a friend or a soulmate.

for soulmate love it's entirely it's own.

the love of a soulmate is burning. it's like a candle that flickers. it grows and waves about like wheat stocks in the wind. it starts strong and bold longing for destruction and companionship, but the thing about soulmate love is that it is not endless. the love of a soulmate is earned and it can fade. like the candle it dwindles with time. the light fades and eventually you are left gasping for air as you are drowned inthe burning wax of time. it's something that if you get the chance you're lucky to experience. it may end but most good things do and it changes you the better. it teaches you how to love, how to feel and how to accept. it changes, it grows and it dwindles, but soulmate love is worth all the pain.

platonic love.

how can i even begin to describe it. it's the emotional form of cool spring water over rough stones, the way the leaves float and glide., the air on the first day after a rainstorm. it's the smallest moments. the most imperceptible cracking of dry earth in autumn. it's infuriating. it absorbs you, draws you in like the feeling of hot tea in the pit of your stomach. platonic love is the person you can sit with in silence for hours on end without the slightest of unease. it's the person you will hold until your tears run dry without judgement. platonic love stops when trust is broken but once you felt it you longed for it forever. it's soothing, exciting, refreshing, thrilling, beautiful and broken.

if there was any type of love near unstoppable, it would be the love of a twin flame. it's passion, trust, heartache and endless. this is the love that rises above all else. this is a love that is so strong, a bond death is the only misfortune to truly break it. this is the love to withstand arguments, heartbreak, sorrow, pain, exhaustion. it's the love of an ancient willow tree. it bends and twists in the wind growing and adapting to its conditions. it's love like volcanic rock. it withstands flames and heat anger and rage. it melts into other forms gliding over everything in its path. it is distractive and harmful but it is so so beautiful. the love of twin flame is travellers, dancing under the stars singing to the wind. the gods of life and death wrapped together in an ethereal embrace. it's unbreakable.

fierce is the love of a family.

not always the way you'd imagine. family comes in nearly as many forms as love and as with all love, all families are different, but one thing remains the same. whether it's who you were born to, the family you were brought into or the family you made for yourself love is the reason.

the love of a sibling is the feeling of riding on horseback through a field of flowers. it's the wind in your ears and the lurch in your stomach. it's rocky and unpredictable but it's solid and it is strong.

the love of a parent is protective. it's the warmth of the coffee down your throat embracing you in the cold. it's burning rich in flavour. there are families with neither some families or the friends we choose to be our home and with them it's scorching. the hot sand beneath your feet shifting and rocking but limitless and close.

sexual love is passion, overwhelming.

it engulfs you with lust and ideals. it's often unrealistic, mask like. it burns and twists like snakes in a pit writhing for room to break free, to escape, to lose control. it feels you with the sense of fulfillment so inadequate. it, in itself can be harmful with lustful love there comes sacrifice and compromise. but even through all that is irreplaceable with any other form of love. it's unique and binding. it takes hold of you, mind and body. it's terrible yet wonderful. incredibly difficult to understand so much so that many never do. it's confusion and uncertainty but the mystery makes it thrilling…

[forgedqzs]

(updated) maya bailey bio

[ ZOEY DEUTCH ] – have you heard about [ MAYA BAILEY ]? [ SHE/HER ] lives at the qz. i think they’ve lived there for [ SIX YEARS ]. they’re [ TWENTY-FOUR ] yrs old and seem very [ INNOVATIVE ] i’ve also heard they can be very [ TIMID ] as well. they’ve been assigned as a [ BARTENDER ]. they often daydream about [ FILLED NOTEBOOKS AND WORN OUT SNEAKERS ]. i’m curious to know more.

at a glance

name: maya simone bailey

faceclaim: zoey deutch

hometown: albany, new york

age: twenty-four

qz job: bartender

astrological sign: sagittarius - december 13th

family: mother & father (deceased), older brother (missing), older sister (missing)

sexual orientation: bisexual and biromantic

time in qz: six years

positive traits: helpful, humorous, proactive

negative traits: unpredictable, spoiled, nosy, 

quick facts

you can always find her at the bar! She always finds herself working as she feels whenever she’s not, her thoughts will consume her  

she has an older brother and older sister, making her the baby of the family. However, she has been without them for the last few years. She checks with the lookout staff every day to see if they have seen anything while they’re on post

her siblings and herself lost their parents early on in the apocalypse, it being just the three of them for the longest time. Maya got separated from them five years ago and stumbled upon the QZ. She always said if she hadn’t found this place, she wouldn’t have made it

her siblings ages: Brother (30+), Sister (27ish)

she may have some daddy issues but its fine its FINE we don't’ discuss (UNTIL WE DO)

She’s incredibly sweet and helpful! She loves getting to know new people and would do anything if it meant it took something off someone else’s plate 

slightly gullible, she assumes the good in people so it’s easy to pull the wool over her eyes (and your character SHOULD do it)

doesn’t lose her temper or cool often until it has to do with someone she loves then she’s losing it HARD

She loves to draw/doodle/sketch (all of the above). She had a few notebooks/pens/pencils when her and her siblings set out together a few years go, but her stash is starting to run out and she’s slightly freaking out about it. LOVES to draw scenery and people (sooo if your character wants to sit and let her draw them they would be VERY appreciative) 

She overthinks CONSTANTLY, she’ll think about something someone said to her for weeks on in and tones that were used for even longer. She tries to not let it affect her, and tries to throw it under the bridge but it’s hard

She gets attached to people quickly whether it’s romantic or platonic, she just loves them deeply and would immediately die for them without hesitation, we are WORKING on it

Can get overly excited sometimes but truly that’s just who she is at her core

When things are serious, she always listens and always tries to do what’s right 

wanted connections

family connections

[ MAYA BAILEY ], our [ ZOEY DEUTCH ] wants a [ SIBLING -SISTER ] they should be [27-30] years old and look like [OPEN TO ANY]. they [ DO NOT] need to message the mun beforehand. 

[ MAYA BAILEY ], our [ ZOEY DEUTCH ] wants a [ SIBLING -BROTHER ] they should be [30-35+] years old and look like [OPEN TO ANY]. they [ DO NOT] need to message the mun beforehand. 

The Bailey siblings have been on their own for about ten years. Their parents died years ago towards the beginning of the apocalypse. It’s been just the three of them for years and years. Maya was separated from them about five years ago, landing into the QZ. Where they’ve been the last few years could be up to you! (If you want them to have been the QZ, that totally could be the case as well! We can figure either out!)

other connections 

she’s always wanted a little sister (or a sister in general) someone she could take care of and love on herself - doesn’t need to be younger than her, it’s more about the relationship 

best friends

platonic soulmates 

hookups/flings  (she’s bi sexual so anything and anyone is fine)

unrequited love (on HER part, someone she’s got a huge crush on, but they don’t a) give her the time of day or b) completely oblivious)

friends with benefits 

forbidden romance

exes 

Unrequited love (on YOUR character’s part)

someone to corrupt her (she’s been pretty sheltered from a lot of terrible and awful things, so looking for someone to reverse that for her)

[itsukkie]

friends i fell in love with

a quick rundown of the people i’ve liked throughout my teenage years and which haikyuu boys they remind me of (self-indulgent and feeling nostalgic)

The Best Friend (Kuroo)

started to like them in grade 8, right before we went to the same high school

For 5 years, my feelings for them drifted in and out, never really understanding whether I appreciated them as a friend or something more

All night movie marathons where we both had class the next day

Inside jokes that lasted for years

Witty, absurdist humour that had me rolling in public

They were familiar, above all else

Admitted to me, as I was falling asleep half drunk in a quiet bedroom above a house party, that they knew I liked them and they liked me as well

We never talked about that afterwards

Stayed at their house when I got kicked out, their dogs had grown to love me

Extremely well rounded, loved by everyone (class president)

Had a bit of an ego, but like it was well deserved

Would motion for me to lean in so he could whisper something that’d make me crack a smile

Taught me how to play chess

Sometimes his praise would make me blush and I wondered why I felt the way I did

lovingly aggressive towards me 

we’re still close friends

Mr. Perfect (Sakusa, Suna)

Hilarious, seriously I think I’m attracted to wit and humour

Jokes were more on the vulgar side, always seemed to take everything a step past inappropriate

teased a lot, seemed to pick on me more than any of my other friends

Shit eating grin that I’d think about in boring classes

A little emotionally immature

Sarcastic asshole but in the way that gave me butterflies

One hell of an athlete, talking student athlete of the year, 5 times a week, junior national team athlete

Despite their moments of douchebaggery, was extremely kind and considerate

Late one night, I was staying up to finish an art project last minute and they stayed on call with me and showed me all throughout their childhood neighbourhood on google maps

Checked up on me when I went a while without texting, asking just for a sign that I was alive. 

Cares about their mother so much, treats her so well; relearned Russian to surprise her while studying abroad

I once got drenched on my walk to school one morning and they came in the afternoon with a change of socks and a towel (sweet sweet child)

I confessed to them my last year of highschool and they told me they didn’t want that kind of thing in their life (at least not for now). And despite that awkward conversation, we stayed friends for the rest of senior year, they never treated me differently; the same asshole they always were.

Shall I also mention that motherfucker was smart and studious (98% average fuck me up)

The Asshole (Semi) i’m sorry 

Hot and cold

That’s really the best way to describe them

Spent months getting super close, insanely kind, sweet, made my heart flutter with their compliments

Then ghosted me out of nowhere

Got drunk at a party and they sat by my side, gave me water, raking their fingers through my hair to soothe my headache

Pinched my cheek and told me my face was red

And then would pretend to not see me when on campus

I got fed up with their erratic behaviour and stopped talking to them

One of those loves i hated myself for, one that my friends would roll their eyes at

What can I say, I love assholes

Everyone told me I was too good for them, that they were just a douchebag

Got kicked out one night and they spent the whole night with me walking around downtown, eating late night street food and walking around the park until the sun rose

i felt so conflicted, they made me feel so special and so worthless at the same time

Never knew too much about them

Apparently, they were talking with my best friend while we were at our closest…

Pure Angel (Aran, Sugawara)

Soulmates, platonic or romantic i don’t care

Insane at chemistry, the only reason I passed AP in highschool

They learn best teaching others, I learn best when they’re teaching it to me (it’s like we’re meant to be)

Incredibly enthusiastic, shot of espresso, bathed in sunlight kinda person

Made me feel safe, the comfort i felt around them is indescribable

I liked listening to them rant and I never felt pressured to keep up the conversation or to force myself to say something witty

I felt at ease around them

I always made them laugh. Had the most beautiful smile

I loved their hugs. God they were the highlight of my day.

I would ask “can I kiss you” sometimes, and they would wordlessly lean their cheek in for me to peck

Patient, always sounded happy when I called

My first ever beta-reader

insanely logical mind that always got me through my writer's block

Not amazing with negative emotions but was always willing to listen

I stayed in North America for university, they went off to study in Europe.

They’re planning on settling down there. 

Since my career goals keep me here, I couldn’t study in Europe just for them, and I couldn’t ask or expect them to follow me. 

I still cry because I miss them

We keep in touch online

[musette22]

Hi Minnie! Hope you can help me settle an argument my brother and I are having about EG!Steve. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this with shipping goggles off, looking at it purely in terms of characterization, narrative, and good writing. Better hang on though, it's going to be a long ask! (sorry in advance for spamming you!) 1/7

So my brother and I were watching FatWS and once again got into a debate about whether Steve's last actions were a disservice or in line with his characterization and narrative, given that the Russos confirmed (and therefore it's Word of God/canon, even if it did sound reactionary to the immediate backlash after EG) that Steve created an alternate reality when he went back, and didn't just live in hiding in the past of the OG timeline. 2/7

Because of this, my bro argued that: 1) the total character assassination that is the idea of Steve just sitting back and letting all the shit happen happen is no longer a problem - for all we know, the alternate reality oldman!Steve came from might have become utopic already due to his presence and foresight. He played coy when talking to Sam so we don't know for certain he didn't save Bucky, get rid of Hydra, and enact social reform when he had the chance. 3/7

Likewise, 2) the accusation that Steve would rob Peggy of her husband and children is a non-issue as Steve went back to a time before Peggy and Daniel got together - I argued here that it was still wrong for him to do given that he KNEW for a fact that Peggy lived a happy life, whereas it was a gamble if he could give her the same. My bro shot back when you truly loved someone, you want them to be happy and to have what's best for them. 4/7

So if Steve chose to go back to Peggy, he had to have believed that he could give her the best life. That Steve based that decision purely on his own assessment is pretty in character (e.g. pushing to become a soldier because he thought that was how he could do his part, even though at the time, he'd have just been a danger to himself and other soldiers; not signing the Accords because he believed in his team's judgment in crises above gov't oversight that might be influenced by politics). 5/7

And lastly 3) he might have settled into the past and started to move on, but what was wrong with him choosing to be selfish and going to the past when given a chance? Why was it wrong for him to go back to a time he knew, where he was beloved by both Peggy and the public, and when he could also save Bucky early? In terms of character growth, wouldn't it be fair for him to finally learn he could be a bit selfish and choose happiness, after a lifetime of nearly suicidal selflessness? 6/7

Our debate was based on confirmed canon with shipping put aside. So I put forth the sin of leaving a traumatized Bucky, Sam, and world behind, that Steve's actions were surely the result of a man broken by grief again and again, and that choosing the past was him running away - which, I argued, was a horrible way to end his character arc. But my brother asked me why I thought so, because wasn't this the so-called 'soft epilogue' that Steve deserved, one that was most in line with canon? 7/7

***************

Hey love! Very interesting argument you and your brother are having here… I’m sure he’s a great guy but I have to say that I vehemently disagree with him (as you probably already guessed lol). Soooo many people have done an excellent job at explaining why, shipping aside, Steve’s ending in EG was absolute bollocks, and I’m certain I could never argue this case as well as all of them have. Nevertheless, I’ll do my best to explain why, in my opinion, your brother is wrong :p I’m going to put my reply under the keep reading tag, because it is long.

1.      The Russos and Markus & McFeely (the writers) never managed to agree on whether Steve really did go back to an alternate timeline, and if so, how that would have worked, exactly. When they were asked, after EG had been released, about whether Steve would have just sat back and let everything he knew was happening/going to happen in the decades to come, both to Bucky and to the world at large, they came up with this ‘alternate timeline’ solution, but they kept contradicting each other on the logistics and technicalities of it (like how would old man Steve suddenly be able to jump timelines to come back to give Sam the shield in EG? And how did EG Steve attend Peggy’s funeral, like they also suggested, which would technically have been in a different timeline?). Which makes it pretty clear that this wasn’t something they’d considered beforehand or even all agree on afterwards, and therefore it can’t technically allowed to play a role in judging the rightness of Steve’s ending in EG if we’re looking at it from a ‘the creator’s word is law’ perspective. Moreover, there is nothing to indicate in EG itself that Steve knew he’d be able to create alternate timelines, so that would’ve been a crazy gamble on his part. Also, him ‘playing coy’ in that final scene with Sam really isn’t a convincing indication that he was actually, canonically, talking about anything besides marrying Peggy.

2.      Which bring us to point two: Peggy had literally told Steve she’d lived a happy life with her family, and told him in no uncertain terms to move on. If Steve really loved her, he would have accepted her wishes and allowed her the dignity of her choice (something Peggy herself, in CA:TFA, had told Steve was important to do when you care about someone) to move on from him once she believed him dead. Steve deciding that he would be better for Peggy because he believed was a better man than the person she ended up marrying originally would be the most un-like Steve thing to do, ever. Steve has never once shown that he thinks of himself as the hero or better than other people – he simply wants to do the best he can to help make the world a better place. He would never say “Peggy deserves the best and I believe I am the best, therefore she will have me, regardless of what she thinks or wants.” Steve drinks respect women juice, that’s clear from all of his movies, and deciding the course of her entire life for her, taking away her agency, whether in his own timeline or another, would be utterly disrespectful to Peggy.

3.      As for the next point: of course there’s nothing wrong with Steve being selfish for once – Steve is human, and all humans are selfish sometimes, and that’s okay. But, as Chris Evans already explained multiple times prior to Endgame, Steve had already made selfish decisions in the past, namely when it came to getting Bucky back and keeping him safe. Shipping aside, Bucky was presented in all the Cap movies as Steve’s very best friend, and was even called his ‘soulmate’ (platonically or otherwise) by M&M (the writers). So when, in Civil War, Steve was presented with a choice between duty/what was expected of him by the government versus saving Bucky/keeping Bucky safe, Steve was selfish and chose Bucky. That, canonically, made sense. Peggy being presented as the ultimate love of Steve’s life, who he loved and valued more than anyone or anything else in the world (which is what happened in EG), canonically does not make sense. 

In CA:TWS, Peggy told Steve to move on. When Peggy died, Steve buried her and mourned her, and then not long after, he canonically kissed Peggy’s niece. Then, in Infinity War, Steve saw Bucky turn to dust before his very eyes in the “Blip” (a conscious decision on the writers’/directors’ part to show how Steve once again lost what was most important to him while helplessly standing by) – and the next thing we know, Steve is leading a support group for other people who lost loved ones in the Blip, and starts talking about losing… Peggy? Huh. Also, Steve going back to a time which your brother calls “a time when he was beloved the public” doesn’t add up, either: technically, Steve went back to a time where people loved an idea of him, but also believed him to be dead. So either he would have had to have found a way to convincingly stage his own resurrection (meanwhile possibly leaving the other version to vegetate in the ice..? depending on how this timeline malarkey was supposed to work), or he would have lived his whole life hidden behind some fake persona – which does not sound like Steve at all, does it?

4.      Finally, let’s talk about Bucky some more, because I think we need to to be able to assess the situation properly. I understand that your brother may believe that shippers are often delusional and only see what they want to see etc, but there is ample evidence, canonically, of Bucky being the most important person in Steve’s life – the person he would give up the shield for, the person he would give up his other friendships for, the person he would give up his life for. Peggy may have been a recurring character in character in the three Cap movies, but she was never presented as the principal motivator of his actions, or as the love of Steve’s life. You know who was? Bucky. Sure, that love wasn’t canonically romantic in nature, but there can’t be any doubt that Bucky meant more than anything to Steve. Therefore, Steve choosing to have a ‘soft epilogue’ that entails him spending the rest of his life without Bucky – and, more importantly, Bucky to spend the rest of his life without Steve – contradicts everything we’ve learned about their relationship (platonic or otherwise) in the rest of the movies, does it not? 

Also, the Russos have said something to the effect that Bucky and Steve were now both mentally ‘well enough’ to not ‘need’ each other anymore (because as we all know, that’s exactly how friendships work…), but it’s pretty clear from EG that Steve was still traumatized by everything he’d been through, and going back to the 50s would have meant he would never be able to get proper help with that and in fact could only talk about any of it with Peggy and Peggy alone. Moreover, M&M have literally said in interviews that Bucky wasn’t all that well yet, mentally, and TFAWTS also shows convincingly that Bucky was not actually in a good place when Steve left him. So that would have meant that Steve either did not see this (unlikely, given how close they were) or did not care (unlikely, given how close they were). 

It would have meant that for the first time in all these movies, Steve decided “to hell with Bucky’s needs, I’m gonna just be selfish because I’ve earned it and claim my trophy wife because actually I am the best man for her, despite the fact that she’s already lived a happy life that I will be negating against her wishes, but that’s fine because maybe I’ll be able to create a different timeline, and maybe I’ll be able to save Bucky from all his trauma anyway, but then again maybe not, but that brings me back to my first point of to hell with Bucky’s needs” - which does not make a lot of sense to me, personally. Not to mention that, in exchange for his ‘soft epilogue’, Steve would also leave the world to sort out the post-Blip mess without him, and leave all the other friends he still had left and clearly cared about a lot to boot. I would not call that character growth, I would call that character disintegration. If your brother insists on taking the creator’s word as gospel and that we have to accept that Steve really did do what he did at the end of Endgame, and that wasn’t just a case of bad, lazy writing fuelled by greed, then to make a decision like this, Steve would have been either an asshole in disguise all along, or mentally extremely unstable.

There you have it, my two cents! I hope this helps a little in settling the argument with your brother, anon! Lots of love ❤️

[carry-on-every-neverland-magic]

A tiny thesis on platonic love...

And why destiel shippers are so ignorant to it.

There was a show called Being Human (UK) years ago and it was about a werewolf a vampire and a ghost that were roommates and trying to navigate the world  and find their place.  It was hilarious and also moving, a brilliant and witty supernatural comedy/drama. 

The werewolf and vampire, George and Mitchell, were best friends,  they went through so much, helped each other, hated each other at times but always supported one another as difficult as things got, they always cared, deep down.

Anyway to cut  it short in  series 3, Mitchell who had struggled with drinking blood as he tried desperately to fit  in with humans, went too far, killed too many, was gonna get dragged back into  the darkness.  The prophecy was a werewolf would kill him  and we all thought it would  be another one in the show.   But it wasn’t.  It was George in the end who killed his best friend.  Mitchell initially asked him to kill him and George did it to release him and to protect people.  It was mercy.  

In the scene linked here George  is clearly emotional and this is the hardest thing he’s ever had to do. He tells his friend “I’m doing  this because  I love you.” So that Mitchell will understand the other reasons why, it’s not just because he’s trying to protect humans, it’s to end Mitchell’s suffering. 

This was  2011 I would have been on Tumblr but anyway I don’t remember people saying ‘oh they were romantically in love it’s  a confession blah blah’ NO because  platonic love is a thing that exists and it’s beautiful and underrated and not nearly portrayed in enough media. I always loved this moment between them it was devastating but emotionally raw and a fitting end for their particular journey.

Now I very much dislike the destiel scene in 15x18 it had bad dialogue and came out of nowhere but tbh  makes more sense as a brotherly love thing. 

 And the main take from Supernatural is that platonic love wins.  Sam and Dean’s bond is everything (and though it’s more complex and deep than possibly a lot of other portrayed platonic love) in canon, we got the most beautiful platonic love between them. It’s so powerful, such an important thing for aces and anyone who values those relationships above romance.  The fact we got that is incredibly important and special. Sam and Dean chose each other AGAIN and with free will stayed together and would have if not for the tragedy of hunting.

My main point I’m trying to reach is that I find it so upsetting and disappointing that people cannot value platonic love (I dislike Cass relationship with Dean but would 100% respect people who valued it as a platonic friendship and thats the confession we got imo)

The confession by Dean to Sam in the barn was deeply moving, raw and also platonic but on another level because their bond and love for one another exceeded everything else in their lives.

It’s the devaluing of platonic love I dislike and I hate destiel being pushed as something romantic (fine if shippers did that in peace and on A03 with no abuse of tags or fans and cast  but they invade everything and claim it was canon) NO. In canon it was platonic love (mostly from Cass side) and not anywhere near as deep as Sam and Dean’s of course, but platonic love.is no less valuable. It’s sad that destiel shippers can’t see any other type of love than romantic/sexual, that those are the only ones worth having. 

 The Being Human scene I linked makes me cry to this day. Platonic love is kind of indefinable but I am so proud  and grateful that Supernatural ended with that message, that soulmates can be brothers, that their love for  each other was so strong it both broke and made the world and themselves a thousand times.

[skellebonez]

You like soulmate aus? 44 with a soulmate au where there are countdown timers for important events and if you concentrate you can see the lifespan of your romantic and platonic soulmates except immortals. MK realizes he can see Red Son's life countdown and he only has 1 year left

ANON I WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS WAS THE SADDEST PROMPT I HAVE EVER BEEN GIVEN AND I HAD TO TAKE IT OUT OF THE WAIT LIST TO FILL IT ASAP. Just. Damn. You came for my heart and crushed it. @kitkat1003 you helped make this sadder so I wanna make sure you see this.

WARNING: I mean, look at the prompt. It's gonna be a depressing read regardless. Read the tags for a major spoiler if you want to know about the end in advance.

The Lunar New Year special is mentioned in passing but NO SPOILERS.

Why are you still awake?

MK never made it a point to concentrate and look at his soulmate timers unless he really felt he had to, tempting as it may have been. Especially not their life countdown timers. The colors one saw differed from from viewer to viewer, some people even saw only one color in varying shades, and no one knew why the colors were chosen the way they were for each individual. But to MK the timers were a whole swath of colors.

It was easy with Mei, her platonic bond with his allowing him to see the bright green (green for all platonic bonds, not just Mei) countdowns to major events (some bad but usually good, like a major race being announced or taking part in a game tournament spontaneously). The familial blue bond he had with Pigsy and Tang went much the same, as well as Sandy's own platonic bond. He didn't learn that immortal beings had their own color, brilliant gold tinted in whatever the proper bond was until he met Sun Wukong, his gold-green timer slowly changing into a gold-blue bond of family found.

It wasn't until Red Son that MK realized his romantic bonds were a brilliant red (which, in retrospect, could have been seen as funny), shining brilliant and bright and almost blinding him when he caught sight of him properly from far above him (and it nearly made him fall before Wukong forced him to, the traitor). He'd mistaken it for some kind of antagonistic bond before he learned that that was also a type of platonic soulmate. So that was something he shoved deep deep deeeeeep down inside to think about later, especially since a lot of people now a days rarely went after their first romantic soulmate and instead waited for a platonic to change in time.

He never told anyone.

It also wasn't until he tested concentrating on timers with Wukong, for fun and out of sheer curiosity if he really was super immortal, that he realized that immortal's life countdown timer just looked like a mass of rapidly changing numbers screaming in confusion and he decided to never do that again.

Until... the Lunar New Year celebration.

He was curious, scared, and Red Son was there and he let his curiosity get the better of him. He wanted to see if Red was still immortal and if his timer did the same thing.

361 days, 17 hours, 8 minutes, and 42 seconds.

That couldn't have been right.

He tried again.

361 days, 17 hours, 7 minutes, and 30 seconds.

And again.

361 days, 16 hours, 56 minutes, and 45 seconds.

And one last time, after everything was over.

361 days, 12 hours, 1 minute, 29 seconds.

Red Son... had less than a year left to live. Red Son, The Boy Sage Prince, the one who almost defeated Sun Wukong on his journey and eternal thorn in his side... was going to die.

MK hadn't ever really imagined that he could die. He had believed that Red Son was immortal, and maybe he still was. There were ways to kill immortals who weren't all powerful Monkey Kings. But he'd always imagined that, maybe, eventually, they could possibly at least work things out and get to know each other eventually after what happened with WBS.

Now he was plagued with the thought 'what if I'm the one who kills him' and he couldn't handle that so he made up his mind then and there and before Red Son could leave he grabbed him by his jacket collar in front of everyone and changed that thought to 'fuck it' and kissed him and pulled away and looked DBK in the eye and announced "I've known Red is my romantic soulmate since day 1 and I am not wasting anymore time with stupid feuds".

Apparently that was just enough to startle the other man into not attacking and to send Sun Wukong into a frenzy of cackling "I KNEW IT"s.

Red Son turned as red as his jacket on his cheeks and just looked at MK in awe. They had-

361 days, 10 hours, 2 minutes, 16 seconds.

Red hadn't left his parents, not immediately, but the sudden relationship that have been revealed between the successor to the Monkey King and the son of the Demon Bull King had forced everything to a standstill. DBK wanted revenge, PIF wanted her husband to be happy, Sun Wukong wanted to be retired, and all three of them were too stubborn to not insist the two men court each other anyway because tradition dictated that when a romantic soulmate pair revealed their bond no one could force them apart.

352 days, 14 hours, 34 minutes, 18 seconds.

MK felt back constantly checking Red Son's timer, but he didn't want to waste a single second. They had less than a year. He'd seen just how smart and resourceful and, as much as he didn't want to admit it at first, protective and caring for the people he had grown close to he was.

By the end of the month they had moved into Red Son's apartment (he had an apartment?).

322 days, 2 hours, 28 minutes, 50 seconds.

MK learned that Red Son was a fantastic chef, on par with Pigsy even. His food was spicy but over time he learned that MK would suffer through food that was hurting him just to try his food and make it less so. Just for him.

315 days, 2 hours, 45 minutes, 34 seconds.

They kissed for the second time well after they had moved in together. Despite rushing into this they had both been too nervous and flustered to do more than hold hands and sleep side by side in different blankets.

They started sharing a blanket by month 2.

292 days, 8 hours, 1 minute, 12 seconds.

DBK was still pissed at Wukong. No one thought his grudge would ever fully disappear. But he and PIF had stopped attacking. For now. For their son. The best thing they had ever done for him was let him be with his soulmate without fighting.

MK never felt more guilty than when he realized he was never going to tell them. He tried once, after they moved in. After he had truly fallen in love with Red Son. He'd cried too hard to get the words out and PIF had looked torn between telling him to leave and comforting him before she put a shockingly gentle hand on his shoulder.

He could never tell them.

267 days, 18 hours, 59 minutes, 2 seconds.

Red got along amazingly well with Mei and Sandy. The three of them together were a mechanical nightmare for anyone on their bad side and the most amazing team for anyone they made anything for. Red was also the new favorite among Sandy's cats. No one was surprised.

He and Red ended up adopting a little one eyed kitten they found outside Pigsy's Noodles. They named her Bao-Bao. They loved her.

245 days, 7 hours, 29 minutes, 34 seconds.

Naturally nothing was going to be calm for the Monkie Kid. Eventually demons far and wide came to attack either him or the city. The only difference was that, now, he had Red Son by his side.

Every time Red took a hit MK felt no fear. He knew that would not be the hit that killed his soulmate. His soulmate had-

208 days, 19 hours, 78 minutes, 21 seconds.

Red and Tang were fast friends. Red and Mei and Sandy were faster. It had taken longer for Pigsy but he came around fast enough.

Sun Wukong, though. Even after 5 months he was still slightly tense and terse and short with Red. But he had been coming around, slowly. Just like with everyone else, Wukong was hard pressed to open up to anyone who wasn't MK.

They visited Flower Fruit Mountain from time to time, and it was one day when Red had wandered off to enjoy the scenery at MK and Wukong had heard the pained screech of a small monkey in the distance.

When they saw Red calming the little one down, tending to it's wound as best he could, MK saw Wukong properly smile at him for the first time. Soon they had-

157 days, 22 hours, 28 minutes, 59 seconds.

There were still fights. DBK and Sun Wukong didn't get along. But things were better.

There were family game nights. Red and Pigsy and Wukong cooked together. Bao-Bao had grown into a beautiful Tortoise Shell cat (with tortitude included). Everyone promised to try to get along and things were going well. Red Son and MK were truly in love, it seemed. At least MK was. He was certain Red was as well.

That's why MK asked him to marry him that night.

Red said yes.

140 days, 19 hours, 34 minutes, 34 seconds.

Was 7 months too fast? Yes. Did MK care? No. Did anyone object?

Only the demons that showed up to fight. They were taken care of quickly. DBK was not entirely happy about how fast things were but for his only son it seemed he would not allow anything to ruin the day.

He'd changed over the 7 months. Not entirely, not enough for MK to completely forgive him for everything since he had awoken. But seeing him punch a demon into the stratosphere for Red Son was a pretty good marker of how much he was trying.

6 days, 37 hours, 8 minutes, 12 seconds.

Everything was amazing for those few months together. They fought demons. They kissed. They spent time with their family. No longer two families but one family.

Then Macaque came back.

MK had thought he was gone for good, he had been so quiet. But apparently he was planning something the whole time.

Something to kill an immortal.

That was when MK learned he was immortal. And wasn't that ironic?

Macaque had meant to stab him. MK didn't move in time.

Red Son jumped in front of him and there was red.

Macaque wasn't seen again after what MK did to him.

They bandaged the small wound in Red Son's shoulder. They would find a way to fix this. They had to. MK knew what would kill Red Son now, it wasn't that he wasn't immortal it was whatever poison had been meant for him. He knew people had beaten death clocks before.

He had to try.

5 days, 12 hours, 29 minutes, 56 seconds.

5 days, 12 hours, 29 minutes, 55 seconds.

5 days, 12 hours,. 29 minutes, 54 seconds.

That was what MK saw when Red Son coughed up blood for the first time.

4 days, 1 hour, 12 minutes, 13 seconds.

Sun Wukong found out where Macaque had gotten the poison.

There was no cure.

Red coughed more red and MK screamed at the Monkey King to look again. Do something. Anything. Anything...

They didn't see him or DBK for over 2 days.

1 day, 17 hours, 34 minutes, 14 seconds.

1 day, 17 hours, 34 minutes, 13 seconds.

MK watched the countdown timer tick down.

"Why are you still awake?" Red Son had asked him as he held his head in his lap.

"I don't want to miss any more seconds with you," MK answered softly.

"Am I going to... die?" Red Son asked softly.

"Not if Monkey King does what I know he can do," MK answered again. "I know he'll be back soon. I know it. I-"

"MK! MK I'M BACK!" Sun Wukong yelled through the apartment, bursting into their room looking disheveled and like he hadn't stopped moving since he left. But smiling. DBK looked much the same as he came through the door behind him.

"I think we found something!"

1 day, 17 hours, 32 minutes, 2 seconds.

MK prayed that Sun Wukong was right. He was Sun Wukong. He had to be.

1 day, 17 hours, 32 minutes... 3 seconds.

[taxicabinmemphis]

Red and Yellow on Your Wrist

Angsty Roceit Soulmate AU where you have your soulmate’s name on your wrist. Post-ish SvSR

Word count - 5,929

Pairing - Roceit

Warnings - No real happy ending, blood, self-harm, Roman has a meltdown, self-deprecation, mentions of murder but it’s just Janus being the angsty dork he is, please tell me if there’s anything else I should warn/tag!

“My name…”

No.

This couldn’t be happening. If Deceit reveals his name…

...they’ll trust him.

“My name is Janus.”

No! Wait…

...what?

His name is Janus?

Roman’s eyes widened in surprise, horror, and devastation. He didn’t need to look at his wrist to know the deceitful side’s name was the one written there. Unless it was Janice. Janice was a name too, right? Right, like a middle school librarian.

Roman laughed.

He laughed. Laughed, to lessen the effect of his name reveal, to show that the simple reveal of a name wasn’t enough to trust.

But it wasn’t simple, was it?

Because Roman laughed to throw suspicion from his realization too.

“Pfft, Janice. What are you, a middle school librarian?”

Yes, that’s all he was. A middle school librarian. Not some deceitful, half-snake, selfish, lying…

Not Roman’s soulmate.

i-c-e, i-c-e, i-c-e, i-c-e

“It’s a stupid name.”

Yes, it was. Deceit may not have parents, but who would name their kid Janice, if they only wanted to damn them to a life of stacking books for hormonal teenagers? A name so old, so out of style, so easy to laugh at, so out of touch…who would do that?

Who would name their kid something that would tie them forever to someone like him?

i-c-e, i-c-e, i-c-e, i-c-e

“Roman, thank god you don’t have a mustache. Otherwise, between you and Remus—I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.”

Roman’s stomach dropped. His face contorted. Shock, pain, a stab to the heart. Why would Deceit reveal his name to him, to Roman, to someone he knew to be his soulmate, if not to tell them they were destined to love each other?

No, that couldn’t be it. If they were soulmates, why would he do that? Maybe his name was indeed…

i-c-e, i-c-e, i-c-e, i-c-e

No. He just wanted Thomas to trust him. He must have believed that revealing his name was the only way to truly get Thomas to trust him, to accept him. But that comment wasn’t a retaliation, a shallow insult.

It was Deceit telling Roman he didn’t want him.

It was a “Yes, you’re my soulmate. But don’t get any ideas.”

Because Deceit hated him. He must. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have said that. His soulmate—someone who was supposed to love him no matter what—hated him.

Was that even possible?

Deceit had just compared him to Remus, his brother, everything he didn’t want to be. Roman was heroic, light, kid-friendly, passionate, loving, protective, and above all, a good person. His brother was practically the opposite. He didn’t want to be him, to be compared to him. Deceit knew this. He knew how terrible that comment would be, how much it would hurt.

“Are you guys seriously going to take his side?”

“No, I…”

Why? Why were they taking Deceit’s side?

Roman is good. He puts what is in Thomas’ heart out into the world. He’s worked so incredibly hard to be kinder, selfless, and better because Patton, nay, everyone encourages him to. And they were going to side with a lying, manipulative, identity thieving snake?

“Over me?”

Over Roman?

“He…”

Roman was the hero. Wasn’t he?

“Thomas, I thought I was your hero.”

“Y-You are.”

But how could he be? How could he be Thomas’ hero if Thomas were to side with a cruel, evil liar over him?

So he looks at Deceit. His evil enemy, yes, but also the side who always knew when Thomas was lying. He gives him a look, one that says ‘is he lying?’.

Deceit nods. And nods only mean yes.

Roman suppresses a bitter laugh, blinking back tears before they could form. How could he still be Thomas’ hero?

“Wow. I can’t believe this. Did you forget that he’s evil?”

He’s evil, he’s evil, he’s so evil.

Roman’s soulmate is evil.

He can’t let Thomas be evil too.

“You’re not. Or, you’re not supposed to be. You’re supposed to be good. You can’t-”

“Roman. Everything’s going to be okay, kiddo.”

No. No, it wasn’t. Roman, the hero, was meant for the villain. Roman, the romantic, was meant for someone who didn’t love him.

“We love you.”

But love, love is a strong word. Too strong a word to be used for whatever this...this treatment of him was. They thought they loved him. Or, rather, Patton did. But no. They didn’t.

Should they? Should they love him?

“Right.”

Roman was meant for a villain, after all.

---

Janus was anxious about revealing his name. He knew that ultimately, he had to, so Thomas could trust him. Thomas trusting him would help him save Thomas’ mental health. But there was also Roman.

Passionate, heroic, do-gooder Roman. Roman, who was currently refusing to trust and accept him. Roman, the name written in messy but charming red script across his left wrist.

Roman, who he wished he was able to reveal his name to at any other time than this.

But he couldn’t. He had to get Thomas to trust him so he could save his mental health and perhaps teach a valuable lesson that Thomas would take to heart. So, he had to reveal his name, despite Roman’s present hatred of him.

Was there a part of him that thought that revealing his name would get Roman to lay off of his insults? Maybe. Maybe Janus thought that Roman knowing they were destined to love each other—romantic, platonic, or otherwise—would get him to stop, think, and then perhaps give him a chance. At least, he thought Roman would at least pause, think, and cool it.

But Janus didn’t expect Roman to laugh. No. That, the laughing, that took Janus by surprise.

“What are you, a middle school librarian?”

Roman was teasing him. But he was also pretending that he didn’t know the way Janus’ name was spelled. Maybe Patton and Thomas would buy Roman’s deception and think that he thought Janus meant ‘J-a-n-i-c-e’ but Janus knew better. He was Deceit, after all.

However, this could be Roman’s way of telling Janus he didn’t want him.

Was it?

Because Roman knew—he had to have known that Janus’ name was spelled ‘J-a-n-u-s’ and therefore was his soulmate. Janus had ‘Roman’ on his wrist so obviously ‘Janus’ was on his. Roman didn’t want him, did he?

No. He didn’t. And that hurt him more than he was willing to admit.

So he lashed out.

“Roman, thank god you don’t have a mustache. Otherwise, between you and Remus—I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.”

He lashed out. And the moment the words left his mouth, he was already regretting them. He realized that the insult would hurt Roman terribly. And he would never, ever want to hurt his prince. Even if his prince wouldn’t want to have him.

And the look on Roman’s face...it was something he never wanted to see again. In any other circumstance, he would swear to murder whoever put that look on his face. Despite never wanting to, he hurt Roman. If Roman was still considering having him before, he never would now. No matter what their wrists said.

And when Roman gave him the look? The look that asked if Thomas was lying about Roman being his hero? He nodded. Nodded because Thomas was telling the truth. But when Roman took it the wrong way…

Janus couldn’t help but wonder if Roman not wanting him was a good thing after all.

---

Roman appeared in his room, just having sunken out from the conversation. The tears he had been holding in fell the second his feet were firmly planted onto the floor of his room. His cry was silent at first, the tears falling with nothing but silence accompanying them as he buried his face in his hands. He kicked what was likely a crumpled piece of paper that was on the ground near his foot, but the action did nothing to satisfy his anger.

His hands strayed from in front of his eyes enough for him to catch a glimpse of a picture of him with his fellow sides (barring Remus and Janus, of course). A few more tears escaped his eyes and a strangled sob tumbled from his lips.

He angrily kicked the picture off the desk it was resting on, letting it clatter to the floor. He repressed another sob and reached an arm out in the picture’s direction, perhaps regretting the harsh treatment of the harmless photo, but caught sight of his wrist.

Extending his arm had made his prince outfit ride up his arm a small amount.

And he could see the faintest hint of a name written in the prettiest yellow.

He collapsed onto the ground, banging his right fist into the floor. He didn’t hold his sobs in anymore. The sobs were loud, ugly, and left his body like a broken gumball machine. There was no stopping their endless attack on his throat.

What is wrong with me?

He screamed and coughed through the sobbing, and later Roman would attribute a least a few of his tears to the utter pain his crying had caused him. His right fist continued banging against the floor, not stopping even when the hand was red. The parts where the fist collided with the floor were sure to bruise up.

What is wrong with the universe?

He slammed his face into the ground, screaming into the ground and not caring whether he would be heard.

Why put me through the pain of tying me to someone I hate, if that person will never find it in their heart to love me?

He dug his nails into the floor, scratching with all his strength. He could feel a couple of his nails break.

Why was the universe so cruel?

He lifted his head a bit from the floor, rolling his left sleeve down so he could fully see what was written on his wrist. The five-letter name written in cursive, the yellow ink showing clearly despite his pale skin. It used to be beautiful and give him hope. It used to make him feel loved, worthy, and that his quest for romance was not in vain. Now, it was evil, disgusting, taunting, and made him feel like a Disney villain.

He crawled over to his desk and fumbled his hand across the surface, eventually picking up a black permanent marker. His shaky hands worked the cap open and then gripped it awkwardly in his right hand despite his left-handedness. He started to scribble over his wrist.

However, the ink ran out after a couple of seconds. The marker had apparently been very low on ink already and was now out. He sobbed, hurling the marker into the trash. He turned to lean back against the desk, still sitting on the floor. The five-letter word seemed to stare up at him mockingly. He growled and instead of a marker, he took his own hand to his wrist.

He scratched at the name, digging his nails as deep into his skin as he could manage, some nails breaking skin easier as they were already rough from scratching the floor.

He watched as blood spilled from the wounds, rolling down his arm and fingers, leaking onto both hands as his right was still marring his wrist. He didn’t allow himself to look horrified, he just focused on how the teasing, cruel thing that was the word Janus was slowly getting concealed from view by either open wound or blood.

Eventually, once Janus was fully covered, he stumbled to his feet. He dragged his right hand against the wall, trying to get the blood off, but eventually staggered his way to his bathroom when that didn’t do the whole job.

He turned the faucet on, and let warm water run over his right hand. The blood, still wet, was washing off quite easily. He refused to wash his left hand, though, as that might wash the blood off his wrist and expose his soulmate’s name to the world.

His soulmate.

Roman spat into a nearby trashcan.

He turned off the water, leaving the restroom and standing near where he had been earlier. He put his right hand to his face, crying into it. His cries weren’t as rough and painful as before, but he was still crying nonetheless.

Roman didn’t want to admit it, but he was confused. Confused about many things, but mainly this whole dark side business.

When Creativity split, he had learned that dark sides (namely his brother) were bad. Evil. Not to be trifled with. So he acted like it, especially with Virgil. Yes, Virgil did bother him by convincing Thomas to not do what Roman suggested, but he was also a dark side. And dark sides were evil, pure evil.

Weren’t they?

Apparently not, considering his fellow sides, as well as Thomas, had gotten on his back about his cruelty to Virgil. They scolded him and told him Virgil was good, and someone to be trusted. Someone to be loved.

Cut to a while later when Deceit enters the scene. Patton agrees with nothing he says, Virgil hates him, and everyone is scared of him.

But dark sides weren’t inherently bad, were they? Just look at Virgil!

So, Roman sided with Deceit in the courtroom. Deceit was advocating for what Roman wanted! Deceit agreed with him, understood him.

But then Roman is chastised for his actions—because dark sides were all evil except for Virgil.

And now, today, Deceit comes in and treats him like the others did in the courtroom. He treats him like he is an evil, manipulative liar. But instead of everyone doing the same, they get angry at Roman again?

What was the answer? Were dark sides good or evil? Roman had been getting conflicting answers from the same people.

If they were evil, what would that mean? That would mean that Virgil had defected, was an exception, and could no longer be associated with them. Roman liked Virgil now, so obviously he would be an exception if that were indeed the conclusion. It also meant the others were wrong for siding with Deceit.

If they were good, that would mean something entirely different. It would make Virgil’s defection a decision of pure preference, and his brother...good. Remus? Good? That was something he couldn’t fathom. The Duke was everything Roman didn’t want to be.

But the dark sides being good...that also meant Roman wasn’t destined for an evil man.

That Roman’s soulmate—the person he was supposed to love always and forever—was, in fact, a good person. Roman wasn’t destined for a Scooby-Doo villain.

But that would also make Roman’s words in their argument misplaced and wrong. It would make them unforgivably mean, and that their receiver was undeserving of them. It would make Roman the villain for saying such cruel things.

Such cruel things, thrown at his soulmate.

A soulmate who didn’t love him.

Roman could understand why.

---

Janus had sunk out, eventually getting bored of watching Thomas hang out with Lee and Mary Lee. He appeared in his room and tried to settle into a book.

It wasn’t far into the novel that Janus threw it down. He couldn’t focus—thoughts of Roman and what had transpired between them overwhelming his brain. He put his hands to his face, running over the skin and scales with his fingers and palms, mulling over what Roman had done. What he’d done.

He thought back to when Roman sunk out, remembering that Roman took Janus’ nod as a confirmation of a lie, that he in no way showed signs of taking Patton’s reminder of their love for him to heart, and that he sunk out looking more dejected than a person whose partner had just denied their proposal of marriage. Janus knew he messed up.

He thought over what Roman had done. Roman hated him at the time Janus revealed his name, so when he found out…

Janus understood why Roman laughed. Roman didn’t know what to say, what to think, and if he didn’t do anything or let everyone know why he was shocked then they’d have to go over a private topic Roman hadn’t even accepted yet. So he laughed—because yes, Janice is a name that people will mock. It is in no way a desirable, stylish, or attractive name. He wouldn’t be suspected of anything if he laughed, except perhaps rudeness and insensitivity. Roman didn’t know what to do, so he took the easiest way out.

Janus also figured it was a way for Roman to try to convince himself that Janus’ name was spelled ‘J-a-n-i-c-e’ instead of what was on the princely side’s wrist. By outwardly expressing belief that he interpreted the name incorrectly, he could start to believe it—especially when no one corrected him. Roman could try to believe that he was destined for a completely different Janus.

But he had to have stopped that charade by now. Roman had to have realized that he is Janus’ soulmate, and has likely acknowledged the correct way his name was spelled.

On the flip side, how could Janus expect him to? Roman learned the identity of his soulmate under one of the worst possible circumstances Janus could fathom. Roman was probably under the impression that Janus didn’t like him right now.

Oh gosh...what if Roman thought Janus hated him?

It was certainly a possibility.

This meant that there was a chance that Roman discovered the identity of his soulmate—only to believe just a moment later that said soulmate despised him. And, if this was indeed what had transpired, Roman was going through this alone. He had all of these running thoughts, revelations, assumptions, and opinions to sort through and he was going through it all alone. Yes, Patton promised to check up on him, but would anyone really think Roman would let him? Patton, while a sweetheart, was not someone suitable to consult with for such a topic. Janus knew he would refuse Patton’s comfort if he were in Roman’s shoes.

But Roman, going through all those relentless thoughts, cognitive distortions, and overall confusion alone—that was something Janus hated to think about. It didn’t matter if Janus thought Roman currently hated him. There was no one else Roman could properly speak to about the matter at hand.

Janus sunk out of his room, appearing in front of Roman’s door as he didn’t want to intrude on or scare the side. He knocked.

Janus’ knock was followed by a few seconds of silence. Eventually, he heard a voice from the other side of the door.

“I told you to leave me alone, Patton,” he heard Roman say. “I don’t want nor need your assistance.”

Janus paused, before knocking again and accompanying the action with an introduction. “I’m definitely Patton, Roman.”

Janus’ correction was followed by silence for a minute or so. Janus didn’t want to knock again as he didn’t want to be taken as rude or impatient, but he feared he might have to as Roman wasn’t interacting with him.

Luckily, he didn’t have to.

“What do you want, Deceit?” Roman asked, voice closer than it was before. Janus guessed Roman had approached the door during the silence.

“I was hoping we could talk.”

Roman scoffed. “Talk? Didn’t we do that earlier? Look how that ended.”

Janus shook his head. “This is different, Roman. It’s just you and me this time.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

Janus paused, contemplating his response. “I believe there are many things we need to go over. Would you consider letting me in?”

Roman laughed bitterly. “That’s just your way of saying that you’ve come here for my apology.”

“No, it’s not. Anything apology-related coming from you was not something that crossed my mind when coming here. And even if it did, I believe I would be right in saying you aren’t quite ready to apologize.”

Silence from the other side of the door seemed to prove him right.

“Which is fine, Roman. I don’t require it now.” Janus took a deep breath. “Look. I’ve had some time to think over our conversation and analyze everything that was said down to the letter. Suffice it to say, we have a lot we need to talk about. I understand you not wanting to speak to me—however, we have both had some time to be alone. Also, there is almost no way you aren’t being negatively affected right now by cognitive distortions, and considering where they likely come from, a conversation between the two of us would be a terrible way to resolve them. But, even if you aren’t being illusioned by your mind, we still need to talk.”

He heard a click of the lock after a substantial pause before he heard footsteps walk away from the door. Janus feared that Roman had locked the door, but waited for a statement from him before doing anything.

“You may enter.”

Janus slowly moved his hand to the doorknob, bare right hand grasping the cold metal of the door handle that made a shiver run down his spine and turned the knob with shaking fingers. He didn’t want to admit or show it, but he was just as nervous about this talk as Roman, if not more. But, he also knew it was necessary.

He entered the room, closing the door softly behind him. He turned the lock, hearing it click. Janus figured neither of them would want anyone intruding.

The serpentine side turned to face Roman. Or, rather, Roman’s back. The prince was standing at least five yards in front of him, and Janus was left facing his back. Roman had his right arm at his side, his left presumably in front of him (Janus couldn’t see a majority of Roman’s left arm), and his legs were stiff. Too stiff.

“Locking your knees cuts off blood flow to your calves and feet, and I would love for you to pass out while we’re talking,” Janus remarked.

Roman shifted and unlocked his knees. Janus noticed that the loosened legs were now shaking violently. Silence befell them for half a minute or so, Janus attempting to compose himself and his thoughts before speaking.

“Well, Roman,” Janus started quietly. “What should we start with?”

Roman didn’t respond. He just stood there in silence for a few minutes.

“You know, I don’t blame you,” Janus started. “I’m not mad anymore. Again, I didn’t come here for an ap-”

“You knew. You had to have known,” Roman interrupted, voice small. “You had to have known since the beginning. That we were...you knew, didn’t you?”

“Well, yes…”

“You knew!” Roman exclaimed. “Why didn’t you say anything? You’ve known for forever, and you didn’t say a word! And not even before or after your name reveal. You just...pretended like it didn’t exist.”

“Roman, you have to understand, I had just introduced myself to people who hated me.”

“I get not saying anything at first, but what about after? What about after the courtroom episode, you could’ve come and talked to me after that. You could’ve told me your name. Spared us this terrible day. I would’ve known, and you wouldn’t have put me on the spot like you did today! Forcing me to participate actively in a conversation when I’m going through an identity crisis—why would you do that?”

“I didn’t think there was a good time to tell you, and then I had to tell Thomas my name to get him to trust me,” Janus explained. “If I could do it all again, I would, and I’d tell you sooner. I just didn’t think I’d have to reveal my name.”

“It...it doesn’t matter anymore, Deceit!”

“My name is Janus, you might as well use it, now that I’ve said it!”

“Why should I?” Roman shot back. “Its first usage decimated me. I don’t have to write with what penned my execution warrant.”

Janus took a few seconds to process Roman’s scathing statements. “That’s not an expression, Roman.”

“You know what I mean!”

Janus sighed. “Either way, I don’t call you Creativity.”

“That’s because the title belongs to my brother too.” Roman took a deep breath when Janus said nothing. “Look, Deceit. What’s done is done and we can’t change it.”

“I know. And I’m sorry for not telling you earlier.”

Roman ignored him. “You knew what would happen to me. You knew what I was going through. You had to have known.” Roman paused, shaking his head. “You know why I reacted the way I did. There’s no question!”

“Eventually, yes, but-”

“So why did you say it?!”

A small silence followed Roman’s words. They seemed to echo across his room, but that could have just been Janus’ mind exaggerating as he processed the exclamation. “I…”

“You knew what I was going through. Everything...all of my actions. They had a reason. My mind was working a mile a second and I had to react somehow. You knew this. You probably considered it before you revealed your name.”

Janus opened his mouth to reply, but Roman beat him to it.

“But you said it anyway! You said it, that statement, that insult, that you knew would break my heart. You knew it would! You knew exactly what it would do to me. But you...oh, you. Despite knowing what revealing your name then and there would do to me, despite knowing my reaction was very likely going to be bad, you took time out of your day to craft the perfect little scathing remark that would ruin me on the spot.”

“Roman-”

“I bet you thought it up earlier! I bet you planned this all along. You knew you would reveal your name, you knew I would respond like I did, and used that as an opportunity to insult me. I could probably find the exact words you said to me written down on a sticky note in your room.”

“Roman, no! That’s not-” Janus was getting desperate.

“How fun was it? How satisfying? How completely and utterly fulfilling was it to finally be able to knock me down?” Roman asked venomously.

“That’s not how it was at all!” Janus cried. “I...I didn’t mean to hurt you. Your insult to my name hurt me...I thought-”

“And yours didn’t hurt me?”

“I thought you were rejecting me!” Janus blurted.

A small silence followed his words, Roman eventually breaking it with a scoff.

“Why would you say what you did, then, if not to destroy any possibility of something happening between us?” Roman asked, shaking his head. “No. I know how you lie, Deceit, and you lie all the time. You needed to make sure I knew your name reveal meant nothing. Did you need everyone to know of your hatred for me? Or did you say it just in case I said something to the others about our wrists, to let them know nothing would come of us? You just said that to-”

“No, no I didn’t. I said that because I was stupid and selfish and hurt. I don’t hate you, Roman. I never have and I never will. I never could.”

“You don’t show that well!” Roman paused for a quick second. “You can’t say you care right after you destroy any possibility of good things happening between us.”

Janus closed his eyes and turned his head to the floor. He didn’t want to damn him and Roman to a hateful relationship, but Roman said he did—and Janus knew he’d never be able to forgive himself if that ended up being true.

“I thought you did,” Janus responded after a few moments.

“W-What?”

“I thought your laugh...your comment...I thought it was an indication that you didn’t want me.”

“I don’t want you.”

Janus winced. “I thought you meant it as a way to say you hated me, that you didn’t want us to be what we are, that you wanted to destroy any chance of it happening.”

Roman sighed. “I didn’t want to destroy it, I was just surprised! I said it as a knee-jerk reaction to mask my shock and identity crisis—who knows, maybe I would consider something happening if I was given time to process—but then you said what you said, and I can’t help but see it as your way of stomping on a young flower that has yet to bloom. You don’t need to sugarcoat it and pretend you’re sorry, didn’t want to hurt me, and didn’t mean for what you said to have that much of an effect on the future of our relationship.”

“Look, Roman,” Janus started, trying to keep his emotions separate from his voice. “I was hurt and lashed out and I'm sorry, however, I now understand your actions and don't need nor want an apology from you. My name reveal was cruel to you and I'm sorry about that. Just please believe me when I say I mean mine with all my heart. I don't hate you. How could I, with your name on my wrist? I've known your name for forever, but I didn't tell you earlier because I didn't think you were ready. I ended up being too late. Please know that I meant nothing of that insult; you and your brother are so incredibly different and you are not evil. You're not evil at all. You're Roman, good Roman, Roman who gives his heart away too much and now tries his best to hold it close to his chest.” And now he keeps his heart from Janus. Roman didn’t want him, after all.

But did Janus want Roman?

Yes. Absolutely. Of course he did.

“Roman. I didn't mean to destroy us. I don't want to destroy us, and I hope you know that. I hope you know that Patton was right; we love you. I hope you know that I care for and love you. And I hope you know that I want you. So, so badly.” Janus shook his head. “And here I am, having ruined my chances.”

He took a couple of steps forward, before stopping. He didn’t want to alarm the prince right before saying what he was preparing to.

“I know this. I don't expect anything more. But please, before I leave, let me see the face of the man I have been so incredibly stupid with and wronged. Please, let me see you before I go,” Janus pleaded, not hiding the begging tone of his voice. He wanted to see his soulmate, for what could be the last time when it was just the two of them. He wanted to see the damage he had done. He wanted to feel all the guilt he should be feeling.

“I can’t,” Roman said harshly, voice firm. It sounded like he was trying to take all emotion out of it.

Janus sighed, staying put behind Roman for a second. Janus had just opened his heart to Roman, and now...well, who could blame Roman?

“Just go!” Roman shouted, throwing his left arm out forcefully and pointing to the door. He then winced in pain, immediately retracting his arm and clutching his wrist.

Janus’ eyes widened. Concern crossed his features, and he approached Roman. “What happened, Roman? Are you in pain?”

“N-No, just go.” Tears started to fall down Roman’s face.

Janus shook his head in refusal and stood on the prince’s left. He tilted his head, eyes focused on the wrist Roman was clutching, but not able to see what had transpired. He placed his right hand on Roman’s shoulder lightly and used his other to softly work Roman’s fingers away from what Janus presumed to be a wound.

“P-Please, Deceit. Please leave,” he begged, gasping in a breath. “I don’t want you to see me like this.” Janus was hardly able to hear Roman’s last sentence.

Janus sighed, tsking. “Oh, Roman.” His voice was delicate, not wanting to sound overbearing or teasing. “I would never judge you. You are clearly in need of help, so let me.”

Janus had finally worked the last of Roman’s fingers from his wrist, and Janus pulled up Roman’s sleeve, causing whimpers of protest to leave the creative side. He looked down and saw it.

Roman’s wrist had been scratched like it was done by a werewolf who hadn’t had dinner. Blood, some of it in somewhat of a liquid form but a lot of it dried, covered his wrist and a good amount of his forearm. There were scratch marks all over Roman’s wrist, and Janus knew instantly what had happened.

“Oh, Roman,” Janus lamented quietly. “I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t,” Roman said through tears. “Please. J-Just go.”

Janus frowned, fingers hovering over the wound. “I didn’t want to push you to this.”

“It’s not your fault,” Roman replied, gritting his teeth.

“Maybe not directly,” Janus agreed, “but this was to cover my name, wasn’t it?”

Roman didn’t reply. Janus took that as a yes. He wiped away a small amount of blood with his thumb, uncovered a cursive J that had a scratch through it.

“Why would you let me stand and talk to you,” Janus started almost silently, “when your wrist has become all but a canvas for the yellow of my name and the red of your blood?”

“Leave me alone, Deceit!” Roman started to raise his voice. “Go away!”

Janus shook his head, indicating a refusal. “No. I won’t let you suffer. Let me help; it’s the least I can do. I can take you to the bathroom, we can clean you up-”

“No!” Roman yelled. “I can deal with it on my own.”

“What a great idea, Roman. Marvelous, really. Just let your wrist bleed until-”

“Stop,” Roman said, shaking his head. “No. I won’t let you help. The door is over there, I trust you know how to walk.”

“Roman-”

“You’ve done enough already.”

“I…”

Janus couldn’t speak. Tears came to his eyes, but he wouldn’t let them fall. Roman’s current pain was enough for both of them. Roman didn’t want Janus’ help, his care, his words. He just wanted him gone. Janus couldn’t blame him, but gosh, did it hurt.

“Roman, you know how much I play into self-preservation. It would be infringing on my function as a side to just leave you here and let your blood dry till it hurts to wash off and let your wound be exposed so long it gets infected. You can’t just expect me to-”

Roman raised his right hand, and Janus disappeared from his room. Janus’ eyes widened, but instead of directing his surprise to Roman’s beautiful face, it was to the empty space in front of him in his room.

---

Roman sighed, dropping his hand. He walked over to his desk, slamming his right hand onto it in exasperation. Deceit had been so nice—or was at least trying to be.

Maybe that was the problem.

Roman had seen Deceit as evil, unkind, inconsiderate, and unloveable. To see him be kind, caring, and protective challenged all that Roman had decided about him. Considering how confused Roman already was, it only made whatever was going on inside his head worse.

Roman wanted love. He had always been excited to meet his soulmate. But did he want Deceit?

No, he couldn’t keep calling him that. He was his soulmate, whether Roman liked it or not. His name was on Roman’s wrist.

Did Roman want Janus, even after everything he did?

Maybe. He didn’t know.

Only time could tell.

~

This is something I wrote a few weeks ago. I hope you liked it! (Also I do have an addition which is a happier ending but it's nonessential to read it's just to make things end happier.) Tell me if I should tag/put anything else in the warnings!